#joja vs

[diadoodledump]

I think if there was a Stardew Valley movie i think it should feature the muppets.

[dressliketaylorhill]

taylor_hill via Instagram (reel) | August 26, 2023

Brand: Joja

Item: Synchronized Bodysuit - Obsidian

Availability Status: Out of Stock on the Joja U.S. website

Also worn with: Gucci Sneakers

♡ please credit me! ♡

This is Salem, the newest family member to the Fryer-Hill family!

[silent-partner-412]

i’ve surpassed 450 hours with stardew valley on my steam profile and i’m realizing this might be one of the best video games of all time from the standpoint of being a product. this game is $15 on steam, even now that MOUNTAINS of content have been added in free updates. the game is extremely high quality; the gameplay is polished, it’s super well designed, the visuals are gorgeous, the music is incredible, the writing is good, etc. there’s enough content in here that you can sink hours and hours into a single farm. there are so many different ways you can customize your experience; different farm types, many different marriage candidates, the community center vs. joja route, all this and more give reasons to play multiple different farms if you’re so inclined. and on top of ALL that, if you’re playing on PC, the modding scene is extensive and there are content mods that are so hefty (and quality) they could be paid dlc that you can get for free.

it’s staggering. when i got this game in 2017, i was 15 years old with not a lot of money, and the game had significantly less content than it does now (plus i only played vanilla then) and it was STILL an absolute steal for its price. obviously this game is not going to be for everybody, but i still think stardew valley might be one of the best values in all of gaming from a consumer standpoint. anybody who thinks they might be into this game owes it to themself to give it a try, there’s not much to lose and so much to potential gain here.

[askhaley]

hi hello I too am a martial artist (not the one from the anon ask). I do German longsword fencing please please please give me your opinion on sword lesbians I beg you. I can be your sapphic knight in shining armor….literally!!!

Gasp can we have a duel?!?! My sword vs your stiletto

Sword lesbians are the backbone of the queer community. Meet me behind Joja- our battle will be legendary.

[leeksoupforstardew]

Stardew valley baby girl smack down round 1 battle 5

TIEBREAKER

Morris vs Pierre vs George

(Anti) Propaganda

At least Morris can be a sugar daddy 🙄✋

Morris has willingly subsumed himself to the JoJa corporate brand, stripping away every aspect of his personality that does not increase value for shareholders. Someone so hollow and soulless could never be babygirl.

There’s none for Pierre and none for George

Btw this is my first tiebreaker to exist. In my almost a year now of making tournaments….

THIS IS WHAT I START WITH

[theambivalentagender]

Valley Echoes Year One

SPRING

The Last Straw (1)

Awkward Introductions (3)

The Stardrop Saloon (1)

I Don't Know You, and I Don't Want To (3)

Meeting the Squad (2)

The Old Mineshaft (1)

I Don't Want Your Garbage (2)

Meeting Marnie/Grapefruit (2)

The Wizard (2)

A Joja Employee Found You Last Night (3)

Egg Painting With Emily (2)

Year One Egg Festival (1)

In the Cans (1)

Thanks, This is Nice (1)

No Matter What You Do, You're Gonna Fail (2)

Year One Flower Dance (3)

Maybe I Can Microwave Myself (1)

SUMMER

Summer Seeds (1)

Stolen Pizza and Dead Roses (5)

Seb the Programmer/Sam the Skater (2)

Apply Water to Hangover (4)

Year One Luau (1)

Emily's Movie Night (2)

A Train of Nightmares (3)

Zeke's Birthday (3)

Fucking Lewis (3)

Visiting the Mullners (3)

Emily's Secret (1)

Zeke and Shane in the Mines (5)

Shane's Mine Rescue (5)

Advice From a Cat and a Lesbian (4)

Year One Moonlight Jellies (2)

FALL

The Wind Took My Hat (1)

Chicken Adoption and the Winter Star Spirit? (3)

No Answers From the Wizard (2)

Clint's Many Problems (3)

Action Girl Abigail (3)

Zeke vs Pepper Poppers (1)

Shane Starts Having New Dreams (1)

Netflix and No Chill (2)

Don't Get Lost in the Woods (2) (TW: Abuse Mention)

Here Goes Nothing (1)

Stardew Valley Fair Year One (4) (TW: Violence)

Consequences (5)

Shane Makes a Decision (1)

WATCH OUT (1)

Cold Turkey (3)

The Accident (2)

A Day in the Life of Sam (1)

In Which Zeke is a Little Upset (1)

Too Small and Stupid (4) (TW: Suicide Mention)

Going to the City for Therapy (3)

Year One Spirit's Eve (3)

Childhood Memories (8)

Shane Chops Wood (1)

WINTER

Snow and Shadows (2)

Relatives in High Places (3)

In Which Abigail is Ignored for Her Guinea Pig (1)

Why Do You Have a Bomb?!? (3)

Gus Doesn't Fuck Around With Drinks (5)

Shane's Back Says Goodnight (3)

The Man With Stardrop Eyes (3)

Year One Ice Festival (6)

Purple Conversation (3)

Emily's Clothing Therapy (4)

Year One Night Market (5)

What is Rasmodius Hiding? (2)

Leah's Problem (2)

The Road Trip (3)

There Was Only One Bed, Said Emily (3)

The Dog Heist (3)

A Talk in the Desert (3)

Oh Shit Ghosts (2)

Zeke the Chicken Whisperer (1)

Year One Feast of the Winter Star (5)

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

absolutely stupid headcanon brought to you partially by the patrons of this one stardew rp server I'm in but;

Dobson as Pierre's cousin. It was pointed out to me that they look somewhat similar (and they kinda do I'm ngl), and ever since I haven't been able to see them as anything but cousins who make family gatherings at least 100x more tense. They see each other and immediately there's an argument about Joja vs Pierre's business. Do NOT let these motherfuckers meet each other on thanksgiving!!!

I imagine Pierre watched Dob go down the Joja pipeline while he was a teenager. He tried to persuade him out of it and even offered him a position within his shop, but they were all turned down hastily due to his former circumstances. By the time they spoke again, he practically had his head fully up Joja's ass, as Pierre might put it.

"You. You're still going around wearin' that shitty blue?"

"Proudly! At least they're capable of keeping themselves afloat without begging for help and whining. Must be interesting going from overzealous to overly stressed, hmm?"

"Excuse me? Tell that to the coupons lining my damn floor! I'm still finding the remnants of Morris's visits under shelves!"

"All I'm hearing is your business doesn't have something captivating to keep loyal customers drawn to it despite his advances."

"How am I supposed to compete with the markdowns he offers? I have to LIVE, Dobson. I can't just offer deals like he does."

"womp womp"

"Did you just- seriously?!"

Whenever Dobson passes Pierre's he can't help but glance inside, noticing the man glaring right back at him.

Despite their spats, however, I do believe Pierre would and has extended his hand to Dobson numerous times and has helped get him out of quite a few emotional pits. They're closer than they let on, and even if Dobson outright looks down on Pierre's business, he doesn't actually want to see him go bankrupt or anything.

Similarly, I imagine Pierre doesn't want to see Dobson in total financial ruin or anything. He has a hunch that Joja's going to let him off once the community center is completed, but he can't up and say that without hearing an overly confident, ignorant response back. Once Dobson does, end up losing his position however, he offers him as much assistance as he needs to get back on his feet. Along with some surprisingly good advice

[jordaninthevalley]

The Ginger Island Mushroom Cave Argument

This is a follow up of my "Mushroom Cave vs Fruit Bat Cave" post.

Originally this was going to be included in my initial post, but I felt like it was long enough so I am going to be making this it's own seperate post.

This also ensures that I can dedicate my full focus on this argument and everything within it, so buckle up for yet another long post as this contains information for every. single. aspect. of getting to ginger island, different things within certain aspects of it, and much more.

Divider Credit

A common argument I see within the various discussions I participate in or just read through without throwing my opinion into the mix related to this topic is, essentially, "Ginger Island has a Mushroom Cave so you should just pick the Fruit Bat Cave because you don't need two of the same cave!" and I, frankly, find this argument to be insane. This post goes into why.

The Boat:

Anytime after Summer 1, Year 1 you can enter the fish shop and a cutscene will trigger, Willy does not have to be in the shop, but the cut scene is Willy telling you how he has an "old friend" in the back and hints that if business picks up he will show you what he has in the back room. This door is locked before this cut scene and remains locked afterwards.

To be able to access the back of the shop you need to finish either the Community Center or the Joja Warehouse. Sometime afterward Willy will send you a letter inviting you to enter the back room of his shop, where you will find his "old friend" - a broken down boat. The boat has three things which need to be repaired, the hull, the anchor and the ticket stand.

The Hull: 200 Hardwood The Anchor: 5 Iridium Bars Ticket Stand: 5 Battery Packs

Hardwood:

To get hardwood you can find it from a Large Stump, Large Log, Mahogany Tree or Mystic Tree. If you have the Lumberjack Profession, all trees have a chance to drop hardwood.

Large Stumps can be destoryed with a Copper Axe or better. You need 5 Copper Bars and 2,000g to get that. Large Stumps provide 2 hardwood, meaning you'll need to chop down at minimum 100 Large Stumps to get 200 hardwood. Large Stumps have a 10% chance of dropping a Mahogany seed.

Large Stumps (Re)Spawning: - In the Secret Woods there are 6 Large Stumps which respawn - On the Forest Farm there are 8 Large Stumps which respawn - On the Four Corners Farm there is 1 large Stump which respawn - With the Shrine of Callenge activated you can find Large Stumps on floors 41-69 in the Mines. Stumps spawned on the Standard Farm do NOT respawn

Large Logs can be destoyed with a Steel Axe or better. You need a Copper Axe, 5 Iron Bars, and 5,000g to get that. Large Logs provide 8 heardwood, and do not respawn.

A large log does block the entrance to the Secret Woods, meaning that unless you glitch through with a chair to the Secret Woods, you won't be able to get the hardwood from the secret woods until you have the Steel Axe.

A Mahogany Tree produces between 8-13 hardwood when felled, I suggest not chopping down your first Mahogany Tree that you grow but instead letting it spread for awhile until you start to chop them down incase you do not get another mahogany seed when you fell your first tree.

A Mystic Tree also produces between 7-11 hardwood when felled, but I think that tree is better used being tapped for Mystic Syrup over farmed for hardwood.

Iridium:

To get iridium you must head to the Skull Cavern (you can also find it in the Volcano Dungeon, but that is found on Ginger Island.) If you pick the Hill-top or Four Corners farm, there is a chance of them spawning there after reaching Level 10 in your Mining Skill.

You can also find them from Magma Geodes, Omni Geodes, Super Cucumber Fish Pond once the population reaches levle 9, a meteorite, fishing treasure, panning, the traveling cart and the Statue of Perfection.

A Meteorite has a 1% chance of happening, and will only happen if the random 3x3 area the event chooses on the farm has a 2x2 area within it that has no water, placed objects that block movement, buildings, resource clumps or farm animals. If this isnt met the event does nothing. If you get the meteorite, you need a Gold Pickaxe or better to harvest this. To get a Gold Pickaxe you'll need a total of 17,000g, 5 Copper Bars, 5 Iron bars, and 5 Gold bars. When you destory a meteorite you get 6 iridium ore, 6 stone, and 2 geodes with 25% chance to drop a prismatic shard.

They can also drop from Purple Slines, Iridium Bats, Iridium Crabs, and Iridium Golems in the Skull Caverns.

Magma Geodes can be found on levels 81 - 119 of the Mines. Omni Geodes are found when breaking rocks but every Tuesday Krobus Sells 1 for 300g and the Oasis sells 3 every wednesday for 1,000g each.

In total you will need at least 25 Iridium Ore, and 5 coal, to get 5 iridium bars.

The traveling cart has a chance of selling an iridium bar for 3,000-5,000g. The following mobs also have a chance of dropping an iridium bar:

Shadow Shaman at 0.2%

Shadow Brute at 0.2%

Iridium Bat at 0.8%

Purple Slime at 0.9%

Iridium Golem at 3%

Battery Packs:

Battery Packs are gained from Lightning Rods during thunder storms, solar panels after 7 sunny days, 5% chance to dropped from the iridium bat, and as a possible gift from Pam or Kent. The traveling cart also sells them at times for 1,500-2,500g

If you pick the remixed bundles and get and complete the Children's Bundle, you will be awarded with 3 battery packs. The solar panel recipie is acquired after the "Island Ingredients" Special Order is completed, but you have to have Ginger Island unlocked to have a chance of getting this Special Order.

The Lightning Rod recipie is acquired after reaching foraging level 6 and you craft it with 1 Iron Bar, 1 Refined Quartz, and 10 Bat wings. You also get one when completing the 10,000g Bundle in the Vault in the community center.

The Lightning Rod can only be hit once per thunderstorm, so if you only have one lightning rod you'll need at least five thunder storms to obtain 5 battery packs.

If noLightning Rodd have been struck there is a 100% chance for one to be hit. If 50% of the Lightning Rods on the farm have been struck there is a 75% chance for the rest to be hit. If 90% of the Lightning Rods on the farm have been struck there is a 19% chance of the rest to be hit.

The Community Center / Joja Warehouse

You need to complete the Community Center to be able to even repair the boat. This takes, at minimum, a year to do but can take much longer depending on your playstyle. You will need 42,500g to complete the Vault bundles.

You can also pick the Joja Warehouse to complete, but you will need a total of 140,000g to buy the membership as well as all of the developments. You can fudge this a bit by completing certain Community Center bundles and then buying the Membership so you can reduce the amount of gold you have to spend.

Ginger Island

Once you repair the boat you can travel to Ginger Island for 1,000g per boat ride. When you reach the island you are on 'Island South', this contains the dock as well as the paths to the other parts of the island.

You will head to the only open path with takes you to 'Island East', where you follow the island resident "Leo" and upon interacting with things within his hut you will unlock 'Island North'.

When you unlock 'Island North' you will follow the Magma Sprite and head to the Volcano. You will only be able to unlock 'Island West' after gathering 10 Golden Walnuts.

'Island West' includes the farm, and a dilapidated farmhouse that can be fixed up for 20 Golden Walnuts, you will need an additional 5 Golden Walnuts to be able to recieve mail while on the island. For another 20 Golden Walnuts you can craft the Farm Obelisk which will only warp you to the farm, you will have to get a seperate Obelisk to be able to warp to the Island without using a totem. Upon making the Farm Obelisk, you will be given one Island Warp Totem.

You can sleep at Ginger Island and will wake up on the island. The golden walnuts are scattered around the island, and can be found when completing puzzles, fishing, tilling up certain locations around the island, and more.

Ginger Island Mushroom Cave

Now that we are on the Island, how can we get the Mushroom Cave?

Head to 'Island North', when you see the Field Office (Green tent with bone on the outside) head to the left. There is a broken bridge which can be repaired for 10 Golden Walnuts. This leads to the dig site, which has the Mushroom Cave. There is a boulder blocking the cave which you need to blow up with a bomb to not only release Professor Snail but also have access to the Mushrooms.

The cave randomly spawns new mushrooms everyday, and they grow directly from the ground so you benefit from the Gatherer or Botanist profession as well as get XP from them, this does make it better than the Farm Mushroom cave on that front but not the cost front.

Staying On Ginger Island?

The only thing that would make the mushroom cave a benefitial thing at this point in the game is if you stay on the island and never leave it. You can, somewhat realistically, do this as you do have a farm on the island, a bed, as well as a shipping bin.

The island farm does have some perks such as not needing scarecrows, sprinklers can be placed here, fruit trees can be grown here, and the island acts as a greenhouse.

However, you will have to head back to the normal farm to be able to complete certain quests, get certain achievements, unlock certain items, have animals and keep them happy, catch certain fish, get various items and much more. So, to even fully play the game you cannot stay on Ginger Island forever, this means we need to either spend 1,000g every time we want to head over and benefit from the mushroom cave and the other things we can benefit from on the island, or we need to be able to craft the warp totem or build the obelisk.

Warp Totem: Island

Bought from the Volcano Dwarf for 10,000g.

Floor Five of the Volcano Dungeon houses a dwarf that runs a small shop but unless you have the Dwarvish Translation Guide you won't be able to access his shop.

You get the Dwarvish Translation Guide by donating all four of the Dwarf Scrolls to the Museum. - Dwarf Scroll 1 can be found Tilling in the mines or Skull Cavern on any floor at 0.16% chance. Bat, Bug, Cave Fly, Duggy, Green Slime, Grub, Rock Crab and Stone Golem have a 0.5% chance of dropping it. - Dwarf Scroll 2 can be found Tilling in the mines between floors 1-39 at 0.1% chance. Ghosts, Frost Bats, Dust Sprites, and Blue Slime all have a 0.5% chance of dropping it. - Dwarf Scroll 3 has a 1.5% chance of being dropped by Blue Slime while other Slimes, Lava Bat, Lava Crab, Squid Kid, Shadow Brute, Shadow Shaman, Metal Head, Spider, and Blue Squid have a 0.5% chance of dropping it. - Dwarf Scroll 4 has a 0.2% chance of being tilled up in the Mine on floor 80 and above. Monsters outside of Serpents, Skeletons, Wilderness Golem, Carbon Ghost, Iridium Bat, Iridium Crab and Haunted Skull have a 0.1% chance of dropping it.

If you are able to access his shop, you will be able to purchase the recipie for the Warp Totem: Island for 10,000g. This will always be in his shop until you purchase it.

To craft a singular warp totem you will need 5 Hardwood, 1 Dragon tooth, and 1 Ginger.

Dragon Tooth:

Obtained in the Volcano Dungeon either around the skeletal remains of a dragon or by killing a Lava Lurk, which has a 15% drop chance.

If your inventory isn't full, you don't have to worry about items falling into the lava as they will automatically go into your inventory, however if you don't have room there is a chance that when it drops on the ground it can land in the lava.

You can also get Dragon Teeth from a Stingray Fish Pond which has a population of at least 9.

Stingrays are found in the Pirate Cove found on the Southeast side of Ginger Island. You unlock this area by building the Beach Resort for 20 Golden Walnuts after repearing the Farmhouse. If you put a Stingray in a fish pond, you will have to fulfill quests to be able to reach max amount of fish in the pond. For the first quest you'll have to give them seven cinder shards, which are found within the Volcano Dungeon by either mining nodes, inside chests, or dropping from a Magma Sprite, Magma Sparker, Magma Duggy or False Magma Cap. For the second quest you'll have to give them a dragon tooth. Once you reach 9-10 Stingray in the fishponds: - Roe has a 63-69% daily chance of spawning - Magma Cap has a 4% daily chance of spawning - Cinder Shard has a 9-10% daily chance of spawning - Dragon Tooth has a 5% daily chance of spawning - Battery Pack has a 9-10% daily chance of spawning

These are, as far as I am aware, the only ways to get Dragon Teeth. There is not a guarentee that a Dragon Tooth will spawn around the Dragon Skeleton, and Lava Lurkers seem to be the best way to get them.

Ginger:

Ginger cannot be grown as it is similar to Spring Onion. You can find it growing wild on the island and harvest it with your hoe. TigerSlime have a 9% chance of dropping Ginger and theyre found in the volcano dungeon as well as in tiger slime grove.

Tiger Slime Grove is found in 'Island North' and is north of the pond.

Island Obelisk

You can buy this Obelisk from the Wizard for 1,000,000g, 10 iridium bars, 10 dragon teeth, and 10 bananas. It is 3x2 building and is neceassary to achieve perfection.

To be able to buy the various buildings from the Wizard, you need to complete both the Dark Talisman Quest and the Goblin Problem Quest. To complete the Dark Talisman Quest you need to complete the community center or joja warehouse and unlock the sewers. You will have to trigger a cut scene up in the mountains after completing either the CC or the JW, then speak to krobus. After speaking to krobus you'll have to go to the mutant bug lair and go through it to get the dark talisman. Upon retreiving the dark talisman, you'll head back to the railroad and place it in it's appropriate area. To complete the Goblin Problem Quest you'll enter the witches swamp, speak to Goblin once and then you'll give him a void mayo. You can either fish up the void mayo from the surrounding water, or you can buy a void egg from krobus and turn it into void mayo, or if you have a void chicken you can turn one of it's eggs into void mayo. Once you give the Goblin his void mayo, he'll run into the hut. You now have access to the hut, he won't be around. Grab the Magic Ink and head back to the Wizards hut through the symbols on the floor. You are now able to access the Witches Hut, the Shrines within it, as well as the Buildings in the Wizard tower.

Banana:

Bananas and mangos do not spawn in the fruit bat cave so if you picked that, you're SOL on collecting these fruits from your farm.

To obtain the banana sapling you will have to get the Island Trader for 10 Golden Walnuts on 'Island North' after purchasing the Island Farmhouse. Banana Saplings cost 5 dragon teeth.

You can also obtain the Banana Sapling through Golden Coconuts and completing the Large Animal Collection in the Island Field Office.

Golden Coconuts

These can be found by shaking palm trees that have a visible coconut on them. There is 10% chance the palm tree will drog a golden coconut. If you have a fish pond with Blue Discus there is a 4-5% daily chance for them to give you one. Their quests include 3 taro root then 10 taro root, which is a crop you can grow after buying them from the Island Trader for 2 Bone Fragment per Taro Tuber.

You can also trade 10 coconuts for 1 golden coconut.

You break the coconuts like you do with Geodes by using Clint, they cannot be broken with the Geode crusher. The first golden walnut you crack open will always produce a golden walnut. Afterwards the golden walnut will produce other items.

Golden Coconuts can produce Banana Saplings, Mango Saplings, Pineapple Seeds, Taro Tubers, Mahogany Seeds, Fossilized Skulls, Iridium Ore, and a Golden Helmet.

The probability is a bit weird on the wiki, and I don't fully understand it but I will provide it here: Banana Sapling: 1/7 Mango Sapling: 1/7 Pineapple Seeds: 1/7 Taro Tuber: 1/7 Mahogany Seed: 1/7 Fossilized Skull: 1/7 Iridium Ore: 1/7 Golden Helmet: 1/20 All of them have an asterislk next to them which leads to: "After getting the Golden Helmet the probability is set to 0. If the player does not have it yet, the probability of getting the other ite,s is actually 19/140 until it is obtained. If you can explain to me what this means, that would be a wonderful help! It is possible I am not understanding this as I am typing this all out at 5am after being up since 9am yesterday but as of right now that is just gibberish to me.

Large Animal Collection

Fossilized Leg (2): Breaking Bone Nodes at the Dig Site, 10% Chance

Fossilized Ribs (1): Digging Artifact Spots on the Southern side of the island, 25% chance, and breaking bone nodes at the dig site, 1.35% chance

Fossilized Skull (1): Golden Coconut

Fossilized Spine (1): Fishing in Dig Site River, 10% chance

Fossilized Tail (1): Panning in Dig Site River, 20% chance

Completing this collection awards you with 6 golden walnuts and 1 banana sapling.

Bare Minimum List Of Materials Needed

Hardwood: 205 (+ 5 for every extra warp totem: island crafted)

Iridium Bars: 15 (75 iridium ore, 15 coal)

Battery Packs: 5 (1 Iron Bar, 1 Refined Quartz, 5 Bat Wing Per Rod)

Copper Bars: 5 (25 copper ore, 15 coal. For Copper axe.)

Iron Bars: 5 (25 iron ore, 15 coal. For Steel axe.)

Dragon Teeth: 16 (+ 1 for every extra warp totem: island crafted. Not counting fish pond requests)

Ginger: 1 (+1 for every extra warp totem: island crafted.)

Bananas: 10

For the Gold amount:

Community Center Completed: 1,058,500g (+ 1,000g for every ginger island trip)

Joja Warehouse Completed: 1,156,000 (+ 1,000g for every ginger island trip)

I dunno about y'all but this seems like a lot of time, gold, and effort just to get a mushroom cave when you can get one upon earning 25,000g.

[cuppierre]

no more Clint hate. we are RETIRING Clint hate. Stardew Valley characters are written so superficially (albeit very fun, memorable and sweet) that i simply cannot fathom a deeper allegory of sexism into this game in one of its characters. NO MORE !!!

transferring examples a bit: like ok anti capitalism but the anti capitalism is written very lightly that the most anti socialist communist mf out there would automatically go against Joja out of intuition. because frankly speaking Stardew isnt that kind of game and it doesnt need to of course but more importantly its just completely inoffensive

i mean i guess i could sum it up as me not understanding any hate for any character in this game just due to how inoffensive the flaws of any characters are

"Clint is an incel and a creep" you are very bad at extending the tone of the game to the character dialogue. why must we interpret his "I'm a nice guy!" and "You won..." dialogues as anything other than middle school understanding of romance (very appropriate for the tone of the game). i mean, even Shanes arc was handled on the level of a middle schooler - what kind of fucking depressed alcoholic gets better with marriage and some chickens LMFAOOO but people dont extend that same level of concern towards the impact of his arc because... yeah i have no idea why actually 💀

i think i can somewhat reverse engineer why those dialogues are picked. the nice guy line being merely a reference to his loserness minus anything genuinely dangerous (no one is dangerous in Stardew Valley there are no high stakes lol), and the you win line as a play on the "good guy winning the girl" trope

i mean i know people are passionate about this game and the hate isnt serious either - like, this is all make believe and were all having fun because were exploring a wide range of emotions. but, sometimes, i wonder how much people cannot differentiate between canon tone vs their own perception of it. its not anything unethical to misinterpret the tone but it sure is annoying having some mf yapping how "creepy" a very harmless, middle schooler written character is

side note: dialogues of Clint wanting to rizz Emily even post Emily marriage is merely a coding problem and not intentional narration. the part where he "stalks" her, he wasnt even stalking. he was just garnering courage to confront her but chickened out so hid in a bush, only to come out after the coast is clear. hes less of a creep and just someone whos really cowardly

i think some people like to intentionally make casual stories deeper, and i think thats fine, though i guess its just not my cup of tea. i think the only genuine concern i would have against Stardew is the racism in regards to Ginger Island. no, not like direct racism - nothing that is explicit, but it carries the biases based on race discrimination against natives (but... thats a whole other story. no no not here yet). in narrative Clint doesnt even actually do anything rude so theres no way for the narrative to justify him towards us, the audience. i mean, the narrative literally gives him a bad ending lmfao all he did was be pathetic

[thevaudevilledemon]

Cartoon Rap Battle: Brian Griffin vs Shane

Shane

I can't believe the humiliation to log Most beloved Bachelor up against a dog?

Oh yeah, you can talk? What good does that Scooby-dooby-doo? When the last remains of your fandom have left the coop and flew?

Take your Paw, tuck it back in your doggy collar Raise your ear I think I hear Peter tryna holler

What stupid crap is he in now I got half-an-hour Maybe I'll tune in to hear another suicide joke, so dower

You went from straight man to nuisance when you were paired with the baby Overshadowed by Arnold's british cousin, that's no fair Lady

So catch me at the Saloon trying to drown my sorrow Gus has a sale on beer so I'll come back tomorrow

Brian

Woah, Ass Ahoy! You aren't the homeless guy right Did you crawl out the dumpster like a baby at prom night?

When it comes to Alcoholics you should stay Anonymous I'm a Writer, you're a stocker, we are not synonymous

At least I take better care of Stewie than Peter or Lois You know Jas would be better without you and your cirrohsis

Don't bother the blue man, because he's for the birds You know that's the word, everybody's heard

I'm accomplished and nothing more needs to be said Except that unlike you I could be revived from the dead

Shane

That revival was a sham, and you know it's true They dropped that whole plotline after week two

You're better than Peter or Lois? what a low bar And I think that is something which you'd be familiar

You say you're a firm believer in fact When you're nothing more than a sell-out hack

Let what Glenn said haunt you until you expire And frankly you shouldn't be talked down to by Quagmire

Brian

Go to Hell, I stood up for what I believe When you stand up it's all you achieve

You're a slob and a drunk at least I have qualities You're only loved by the "I Can Fix Him" mentalities

Shane

They can't fix me, that's the point of my arc I can fix myself, with their light in my dark

You let yourself be bullied and bribed to shut your face Of all the cartoon pets you're a total disgrace

Brian

At least I am total when it comes to something The people prefer shadow monsters over drunk-y nothings

You drink Joja Cola, though you hate it as a gift Maybe you need something else to give your spirits a lift

Take your blue chickens and get them out of here I'm a non-GMO environmentalist peer

So maybe I should date Emily, she's not your type Stick to bitches like Pam, you're not worth the hype

You wanna do good? Take Jas with you when your wed A pair of shoes don't make up for using your floor as a bed

I may be an animal, but you're the real dog You just faced the badest bitch in Quahog

Shane

Why are you giving me your garbage lines? They're an even worse embarrassment than Peter's Crimes

Don't give me parenting advice like I'm a real villain May I ask about your estranged son, where the Hell is Dylan?

You're a bad father, and the show knows it anyway You make me want to kill myself like you made Hemingway

But between the two of us, I think I recovered better You gave a baby herpes, and hid your own tetter

Oh I'm sorry, you don't know what that word means? You'd have better rhymes if you were a better writer it seems

You're a bad dog, Brian, You've had your day So bring back Vinny and just go away!

[trashyswitch]

Big Brother Vs Pool Master

Sebastian and Sam are playing a game of pool, while Abigail watches. Sebastian turns into a well-rounded teacher, while Sam turns playful when he finds out something interesting about Sebastian.

This fanfic was suggested by my special bean @foxboidrew. I hope you enjoy, my love!

Sam and Sebastian were hanging out in the Stardrop Saloon like they usually do, hanging out together in the games room in the saloon. Sam had a Joja Cola in hand, while Sebastian was sipping on one of his favorite drinks: a cranberry candy. Sam and Sebastian had their drinks on the corner of the pool table while they were playing pool against each other. Sam was stripes, Sebastian was solids. 

Sam picked up his pool table and looked at the positioning of the ball. “Hmmm…” he hummed as he looked for the closest, most convenient striped balls to knock into the holes. “Which one do I possibly go for?!” Sam asked. 

“You kinda got yourself into a challenging situation.” Sebastian admitted. “But I would highly suggest going for the striped 11.” Sebastian said. 

Sam nodded and started to aim the pool stick tip at the ball, and slowly pulled it back. “Aaaaaand-” Sam hit the ball, but realized how wrong his angle was the moment his ball hopped about a foot in the air before clunking against the pool table. Sam lowered his head down in annoyance and sighed. “I’m guessing we have to switch now?” Sam asked. 

“Technically, yes. But…” Sebastian smiled. “I’ll let you have another shot.” He said before sipping a bit more of his drink. 

Sam nodded and smiled a bit. “Thanks.” He said before focusing on the ball and the pool tip. “Bring the pool stick higher slightly, so you don’t bounce your ball again. Aim for the middle.” Sebastian told him. 

“I’m not 5, Seb. I know how to play pool. We’ve played countless times.” Sam told him. 

Sebastian put up his hands in arrest. “Alright, alright. Go for it.” Sebastian told him, silencing himself and watching. 

Sam pointed the pool stick tip at the bottom of the ball…and then reeled back the poolstick…He whacked it on the left side, knocking the pool ball to the right and knocking a solid ball into the far right hole. “YES!” Sam declared, throwing his fist in the air. 

Sebastian smiled and offered him a high five. “Not bad.” Sebastian told him. The truth was…Sam had just knocked one of Sebastian's balls into the hole, meaning Sebastian got the point without even lifting a finger. But…He still applauded his “success”. 

Sam high-fived him. “Alright. Your turn, I think.” Sam said. 

Sebastian nodded his head. Time to show Sam how it’s really done. 

Sebastian looked at where the white ball was, and smiled as he saw a somewhat challenging option that was available to him. Well…Challenging to Sam, anyway. To Sebastian? It was a piece of cake. Chocolate cake, to be specific. 

…Great…now he’s craving chocolate cake. 

Sebastian placed the pool stick tip close to the ball. “Gonna try to get a solid 5 in.” Sebastian said, pointing the pool stick at the white ball. 

“Good luck, Seb.” Sam replied, sipping his drink. 

Sebastian brought the pool stick back, and whacked the ball with the tip, sending it to the solid 5 ball on a side angle, hitting the ball over to the left, directly into the hole. 

Sam had to swallow his drink so as to not choke on it. How did he- 

“Sweet.” Sebastian said with a little smirk. Sam slowly nodded, unsure what to say. “...Okay.” He replied. “Alright.” 

Sebastian looked at Sam. “What? You got one in too.” He mentioned. “But I think I got the wrong color in.” Sam admitted. 

Sebastian chuckled. “It’s not the color of the balls that you’re supposed to keep track of…it’s the pattern on the balls.” He replied. 

Sam looked at the leftover balls on the table and slowly sighed. “So I DID get it wrong then…” Sam said. 

Sebastian had to stop himself from laughing. “No judgments here.” He told him. And he wasn’t lying. The truth was…his stupidity was often super amusing…it’s why they became such good friends. Sam would be shocked by how intelligent Sebastian was, and Sebastian would be thoroughly amused by how dumb Sam was. And thankfully, this kind of dynamic worked well for them. Sebastian walked up and poked Sam’s shoulder. “Come on, dude. It’s just a game. This game is not gonna matter in the grand scheme of things.” Sebastian told him. 

Sam sighed. “Alright…But can I watch what you do when you’re playing?” Sam asked. “Sure.” Sebastian replied as he removed the pool ball from the hole. “Go on my left side so you can see my angle.” Sebastian told him as he readied the poolstick. 

Sam nodded and stood on Sebastian’s left side, watching as Sebastian placed the ball down before angling his left arm down to the pool table and wrapped his left index finger around the lower pool stick. He placed the pool stick tip millimeters from the ball, and pulled the pool stick back. He whacked the ball and hit the solid 2 ball into the hole. 

“Wow…” Sam reacted, watching. “You made it look super easy.” 

Sebastian sat himself up and smiled as he looked at Sam. “Want to keep watching?” Sebastian asked. 

Sam nodded and followed Sebastian as he looked at all the angles. 

“Would you like me to get a ball of yours while I’m up?” Sebastian asked next. 

Sam widened his eyes. “You’d…get a point for me?” Sam asked. 

“Sure.” Sebastian replied as he placed the ball on the left side of the striped 13 ball. Sebastian got his hand stretched out and ready on the pool table, with Sam leaning against his back, watching. Sebastian’s other hand was holding the back of the poolstick, getting the angling ready. 

He pulled the pool stick back, and got ready to whack the ball with the tip of the pool stick…

But when someone (he assumed it was Sam) had grabbed his sides, Sebastian lost his concentration and paused. He tightened his middle a little bit, before quickly gaining his focus again. He whacked the ball and hit the striped ball directly into the hole. It was like Sam’s touches didn’t affect him…not even a little bit. 

“Yes!!” Sam declared, throwing his fists in the air. “Alright, my turn.” Sam grabbed his pool stick and started to look at the ball and what striped ball was closest to his white ball. 

Sebastian smiled and loosened his middle again. That was close…If Sam had noticed something about his little pause, then Sebastian might’ve been screwed. 

“Hey Sebastian…” Sam lifted his body up and leaned on the pool table. “Do you usually tense up when you’re ready to hit the ball?” Sam asked. 

Sebastian bit his inner lip a little bit, unsure whether to lie and let Sam use the same strategy…or tell the truth and create the domino effect into revealing the truth. “Uhhh…” was all he came up with while he thought. He eventually shook his head. “No. Not normally.” Sebastian replied. “It’s recommended that you calm your nerves and relax your muscles while you’re playing.” Sebastian explained. 

“But…That’s not what you did.” Sam admitted. “And you still made a perfect shot.” 

“I know…I tensed up a bit by accident…” Sebastian admitted. 

“Actually…” Sam put the pool stick down and walked up to Sebastian. “You tensed up when I touched you.” Sam gently held Sebastian’s sides. “Specifically here.” Sam added. 

Sebastian nodded his head and did everything he could to not tighten his sides this time. He hoped and prayed that if he kept his cool, this whole conversation would blow over. 

“But…Now you’re not??” Sam asked. “Wait…” He gasped and let go to cover his mouth. “Was me watching you in action, making you tense?” he asked. 

Sebastian widened his eyes. “No! God no.” He replied. Sam seriously hasn’t caught on yet?! This conversation was enough to make a man go insane! “It tickled, okay?” Sebastian spat out. “That’s all it was.” 

Sam widened his eyes and stared at Sebastian for a few minutes longer than he probably should’ve. He slowly leaned the pool stick against the pool table before poking Sebastian’s side. This simple poke was enough to make Sebastian squeak and nearly jump out of his skin. “Sam!” Sebastian frowned at him. “Don’t you dare try it.” 

Sam smiled brightly and wiggled his fingers at him. “Or else what?” He asked innocently. 

Sebastian’s frown began to soften into a nervous look as he attempted to keep his distance from Sam. “Or else I’ll hit you with my poolstick!” Sebastian warned. 

Sam laughed at his futile attempts to threaten him, and looked over at Abigail, who was sitting on the couch. “Can you believe this guy?! Threatening to harm me over a few tickles?” Sam teased, his inner brotherly side coming out. 

Abigail giggled and crossed her arms. “So rude…” She teased. “I’m rather fascinated. How ticklish is he?” She asked. 

Sam smirked and grabbed the pool stick from Sebastian’s hand, and placed it aside. “Why don’t we find out?” Sam asked as he stepped closer to Sebastian. 

“S-Sam, I’m warning you.” He attempted. “You try this, and it won’t end well for you.” Sebastian warned. 

Sam gave his side a poke. “Boop!” He reacted. 

“AAH-” Sebastian attempted to slap his hand away. “Go away!” 

Sam then moved around Sebastian and wrapped his arms around his middle, before skittering all 10 of his fingers on his belly and sides. “Gotcha!” Sam declared. 

Sebastian wheezed and doubled over, trying his hardest not to laugh right away. He was worried that if his strategies made him laugh, Sam would continue tickling him for at least another 10 minutes. And Sebastian knew this all too well, thanks to seeing how Sam acts around Vincent. “Oh! Oh! Try his armpits!” Abigail declared. 

Sebastian shook his head. “Dohon’t you d-dahahare!” He warned, accidentally letting out a few giggles.

Sam chuckled. “Alright.” Sam reacted as he lifted up Sebastian’s right hand and started tickling his right armpit. “How ticklish is-” 

Sebastian threw his head back and started letting out long fits of laughter, accidentally interrupting Sam’s question. But…his laughter was a little more higher-pitched than any of them were originally expecting. So hearing it for the first time, really threw them for a loop. 

Sam chuckled. “Well would you look at that? Mr. Gloomy Sebby has a cute little laugh.” Sam teased. 

Abigail couldn’t help the little blush that filled her cheeks, followed by the cute little smile. “I thought I’d never see the day.” Abigail admitted. 

“Shuhuhuhuhut uhuhuhup!” Sebastian shot back at them. “I’ll shut up the moment you stop laughing so adorably.” Sam teased. 

Sebastian could feel a blush of his own developing on his fair cheeks. It was kinda nice seeing some color on Sebastian’s cheeks for once. 

“Kitchy kitchy kitchy koo!” Sam teased. “Ihihi’m nohohohot aha chihild!” Sebastian argued. “I know…But it doesn’t change how fun it is to tease you.” Sam replied. 

After another couple minutes of tomfoolery, Sebastian attempted to get himself away from Sam. And though it took a bit of scrambling, Sebastian did successfully get out of his grip. “Okahahay, ohokay, okay.” He said, instinctively sitting himself down onto the sofa. “You did what you wanted to do. Now can we go back to the game?” Sebastian asked. 

Abigail smirked and cleared her throat in a more obvious fashion. Sebastian quickly widened his eyes and turned to look at Abigail. “H-Hi…” He mumbled, adjusting himself. “Can I…” He trailed off the moment he saw Abigail’s hands rise up with her fingers wiggling in almost a wicked fashion. “H…help you?” Sebastian barely managed to get out of his mouth. 

Abigail giggled and skittered her fingers all over the sides and front of his ribs. “Sure! You can help me out by showing us your pretty little laugh again.” She declared as she tweaked his ribs. 

Sebastian attempted to defend himself with his hands as he felt a wobbly smile begin to fill his face. Even when Sebastian tried to get her back, she didn’t react! “Awww Sebby…” She smirked. “I’m not very ticklish there.” She told him. 

“.....Oh.” Sebastian muttered, not sure what else to say. He could be wrong…but the way she worded it made it sound like she WAS ticklish, just not in the spot he chose at that time. 

But before he could actually turn his thoughts into actions, Abigail had moved her fingers up to his back ribs! “What about here? Are you ticklish here?” She asked. 

Sebastian arched his back and threw his head back with a long cackle! “HAHAHAhahahaha! AHAHABIHIHI NOHOHOHO!” Sebastian yelled. 

“Holy- you’re more ticklish than Sam!” She reacted. 

Sam looked over at Abigail with an offended look on his face. “Hey!” He reacted. 

“Am I wrong?” Abigail teased. 

Sam stuttered a bit before looking down, growing embarrassed. “I-I-” He huffed. “You're lying, you little…” Sam mumbled. 

Abigail laughed at his reaction. “‘You little’ what?” She asked. “GUHUHUYS PLEHEHEASE!” Sebastian yelled. 

“Why would I tell you that?!” Abigail asked. “Maybe I wanna leave you in frustrating suspense.” She teased. “IHIHIHIHI CAHAHAHAN’T-” Sebastian yelled next, struggling to get out of Abigail’s grip. 

Sam gasped. “You wouldn’t…” He reacted, clearly offended. 

“Ohoho, I most certainly wo-” She teased back, only to get distracted by tickly fingers against her armpits. “-hohoHOHOULD! NAHAHAHAHA- SEHEHEHEBBYYY!” She squealed, squeezing her arms against her sides. 

“Stohohop kihihilling mehehehe! Ihihi cohohouldn’t breheheheathe.” Sebastian told her. 

“IHI’M SOHORRY! IHI’M SOHOHOHORRYHYHYHY!” She shouted. 

“Goohood.” Sebastian stopped tickling her and waited for her to relax. When she did, Sebastian took his hands out of her armpits and rubbed away the rest of the phantom tickles that were plaguing him at the moment. 

“Yohou good, Sebby?” Abigail asked. “Yeheah. I’m good.” Sebastian replied. 

“Need help up, love birds?” Sam asked. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but took his hand and got up off the couch. 

“Who told you?” Abigail asked with a teasy voice, taking Sam’s hand and getting up off the couch as well. 

“Oh, you know…I’ve seen a few things.” He teased. 

Sebastian looked down and held his arm lightly while Abigail gently patted Sebastian’s shoulder. 

Feeling the embarrassment taking over, Sebastian slowly walked up to Sam and placed his chin onto Sam’s left shoulder. 

“Uh- Sebby?” Sam asked. 

Sebastian closed his eyes and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Sam’s middle. He started to close his eyes and snuggle himself into Sam’s arms, showing feelings of comfort and safety within Sam’s grasp. It was really sweet to see. 

Abigail smiled and fluffed Sebastian’s hair. “Such a cute little dork.” She teased. 

Sebastian only blushed more upon hearing Abigail’s words. “Th…Thankyou…” He mumbled. He looked over at Abigail and smiled, offering her his hand. “Wanna join?” He asked. 

Abigail smiled and took his hand, joining the hug as well. 

“Yeah! Group hug!” Sam declared, hugging them both. “Does this mean I’m welcome into ‘love bird’ territory?” Sam asked. 

Sebastian and Abigail laughed at this and nodded their heads. Of course he is! Sam will always be welcome as a third wheel. In Sebastian’s mind though…he began to secretly hope that Sam could be more than just a third wheel in the future…

If only he works up the courage to ask…

[ruhua-langblr]

(Mis)adventures in Localization

Had to pause the Stardew Valley vocab list since theres been a lot of changes (and retractions of changes) to the localization.

In short, with the 1.6.4 update to Stardew, changes were released for the Chinese localization. To say this went over poorly is an understatement. The two main critiques were that the new font was ugly (akin to changing it to comic sans) and the translations disturbed many previously correct translations and replaces them with too "trendy" or overly formal words. (A good example of a criticism I agree with was the change of mystery box from 谜之盒 to 盲盒. 盲盒 has a connotation of being scammed with blind boxes and makes it seem like a Joja product.)

Following the update, CA announced that the translation would be rolled back and the original font would be reinstated with the new font remaining as an option. As for the future, I don't know if there will be another update. Based on the forums, it seems like the Chinese speaking users are open to changes, but in a more moderated format on specific instances vs a total rehaul.

My personal opinion as an outsider/insider (Chinese as a second lang/linguist) is that people hate change—especially unexpected change. As valid as I think some of the changes the loc team made, sometimes keeping the "familiar flaws" is what makes people the happiest. I'm going to give it a month to see if any changes to terms happen, or if it seems like the whole idea of using the new loc team is getting scrapped. Sorry for anyone excited for the vocab, but it hasn't been forgotten!

Tl;dr: Pausing for the moment since it is uncertain whether terms will change.

[bitegore]

"i wanted the context for the joja thing lmao but that's so fuckin funny" in SDV you can either fix the community center or support the joja company. If you support joja you run people out of business, joja is like Walmart Amazon, the only benefits iirc is that you get cheaper seeds n stuff via joja vs the local store. So that person will kill 12 kids before they'll support walmart jdichnh

y'know what? that's the morally correct choice i think.

[initiala]

Oh also I figured out why the Joja route feels so much harder. It’s just dumping a bunch of money in all at once, whereas you whittle down the requirements of the community center with the bundles. Its constant progress and reward vs “churning out as much as you can to dump a chunk of change all at once”.

Like yeah it took me until Fall y1 to finish the boiler room but big chunks of the rest of it are also done and waiting for a seasonal item! Also the minecarts are done and it’s probably the thing I use most so yeah I wanted those done first!

[silicacid]

my hatred for joja vs my hatred for golden clock

[itsybitsyjoltik]

for further context since this was left out of the explanation

like most farming sims you can technically play stardew valley however you want and avoid progressing the game in any way, but stardew valley offers two possible progression paths for unlocking new areas and opening up the game, the community center vs joja mart

the community center has various bundles that you have to complete by gathering specific items. it’s time consuming and many of the items are a pain to get especially without luck/prior planning, to the point where it can take upwards of an ingame year to complete (though one of the options in current versions of the game allows you to ensure that all of the items required are obtainable year 1, but the vanilla options require you to wait for year 2 for some items or get really lucky with one of the shops). but by competing the community center you’re rewarded with the love of the townspeople + kicking the local megacorp out of town

alternately you can side with the megacorp. jojamart is the biggest store in town, think like walmart or costco, and you can buy a membership and simply pay for all of the amenities the community center offers, though you can’t buy the love of the townspeople. but a lot of people refuse to do this kind of run out of principle on the basis that jojamart fucking sucks

basically, op is a-okay with child murder but draws the lilne at being a capitalist