#johnny Knoxville fanfiction

[strcwbrryklss]

୨୧﹕ in your care .ᐟ oneshot

pairing ; johnny knoxville x fem!nurse!reader contains ; tension , flirting a/n ; in love with this man. summary ; after a flirty patient comes into your care at the hospital, your job seems a little more bearable.

JOHNNY WOKE UP, an unbearable pain gripping at the back of his skull. clenching his eyes shut, he groaned at the sensation of his achy limbs that haven’t moved for around 12 hours. his hands were wrapped up in bandages, both broken and battered, along with his head, where he suffered a concussion.

this wasn’t new to johnny, actually, it was pretty regular. his ‘thing’ was being dumb, putting himself into danger as if it was a game, which, safe to say, ends up here. he’s lost count of the amount of times he’s ended up in the ER. matter of fact, he’s probably been in the exact same bed he’s in now ten times before this.

it’s the same-old, same-old. he stays for a few days, gets given meds, gets sent home, and doesn’t take the meds (not in the way he should, anyway).

“good afternoon” a cheery voice was heard after a short knock at his door, the face of a beautiful girl peeking out.

although it hurt, johnny mustered up a charming smile towards the nurse, “afternoon ma’am”

you smiled, walking in with a tray of breakfast, “i’ve got ya some dinner, let me know if you don’t like anything and i’ll change it for ya”. putting the tray down on the table, you moved it closer to johnny so he could reach.

“i don’t think i’ll be able to eat, doll” he responded with a small smile, moving his arms up and showing the nurse his wrapped up hands.

mentally face-palming, you spoke, “oh right, sorry, i’ll help”. you pulled up a chair beside his bed, “well, lucky for you, today’s special is mashed potatoes and mystery meat. i’ll make sure it’s top quality”

“lucky me” he murmured, eyes sparkling beyond his black eye, “i can’t even pretend to be disappointed. best day i’ve had this week, in fact”

rolling your eyes with a slight smile, you scooped up a forkful of mashed potatoes, holding it out with practiced calm, “here ya go” you said gently.

as he leaned forward to take a bite, he kept his gaze locked onto you, “you know, i could really get used to this” he said, the words slightly muffled as he chewed, “a beautiful woman taking care of me? feels like something out of a rom-com”

you felt the warmth rise in your cheeks despite yourself, “i’m sure the novelty will wear off”, you said, pretending to brush it off as you prepared the next bite, “now, chew and swallow”

johnny snorted in amusement at the demanding words, his dirty minded humour taking over. you gave him a look, causing him to stop his immaturity’s.

“you’re very professional aren’t you?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief, “most nurses would have at least blushed by now”

“i’m just doing my job sir—”

“johnny, call me johnny” he corrected.

you nodded, changing the subject, “now, i think you’d like some of the… mystery meat…?”

“oh, i trust you, hun” he responded, shifting just slightly closer, his voice warm and low, “i trust you with my life, in fact”

“don’t get too dramatic” you said, unable to hide your smile as you brought a piece of the meat to his lips, “you’ll be outta here soon enough”

“only if you’ll visit me after” he murmured, taking a bite but never breaking eye contact. he chewed slowly, watching you with an intensity that made you stomach flip, “you know, you’re exactly what i imagined”

the nurse blinked, caught off guard, “what you… what?”

“you know, the whole ‘cute nurse taking care of me’ fantasy” he said, looking entirely too satisfied as he grinned at you, “i’ve been laid up in this bed for a while, and i’ll admit, i was hoping for someone exactly like you”

“you must still be concussed” you said, trying not to laugh, “i’m just here to make sure ya don’t starve to death while you’re recovering”

“well in that case” he smiled as he watched you scoop up another bite, “you’re doing a great job”

you could feel your cheeks getting warmer, but you didn’t dare break your professional facade. you could only keep up your calm exterior as you carefully fed him, listening to his endless, over the top compliments, and sidestepping his flirtatious glances. but the truth was, his charming southern drawl, easy confidence, and obvious amusement at your flustered responses — you enjoyed it. more than you wanted to admit.

when you offered him the next bite, he leaned just a little too close to your hand, catching your gaze as he murmured, “i think i’d heal faster if you were here everyday”

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach. “you’re here for at least a few more days” you said, almost managing to sound casual, “so i’ll be around”

he smiled, a touch of softness in his gaze, “good. gives me a reason to look forward to meal times”

[michelle-is-writing]

Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.7k~

Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned

The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.

Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.

“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.

“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.

“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.

“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.

Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”

In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.

After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.

With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.

A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”

“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”

“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”

After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”

“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”

His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”

At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”

After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”

[johnny-coxville]

I was thinking maybe for a really smutty Johnny fic. The reader asks Johnny if he wants to try something new, she’s wants to see if he’ll cum inside her as they’ve never done that, Johnny gets super excited and super into it. With some dirty praise along the way and goofy excitement from knox ?

I'm sorry it's a bit short and not exactly on promt, but I'll gladly remaster it as soon as I'm free! Hope you enjoy it. :)

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At Last.

Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader nsfw

Time in bed with Johnny was never a bore. He always found something new to task you with. Position, praise, you name it. He made you feel good in everything he did. This time was entirely different.

You sat across from him at the wooden dinner table. A cute tablecloth laid across the table complimenting the decorations of your apartment. Johnny fiddled with the bottom of the cloth as he ate. Looking up at you every now and then to smile.

Once you were nearly finished with your plate, you paused. Taking a long gaze at him. He paused as well, his chewing put on hold. “What’s the matter?” He questioned with a mouthful of food. You grinned. “Nothing. I was just thinking about something.” You said twirling your fork around the plate.

He swallowed his food and cocked an eyebrow. “Anddd that iss?” He said with a side smile. You blushed with a small giggle. “Nothing!” You said teasing. Standing up from the table, emptying the rest of your leftover pasta into a pot. Heading to the sink to wash your dish. Johnny scooted out of his chair and followed.

He dropped his food into the pot and sat his plate on the counter. You ran the water for a moment, squirting the soap onto the sponge. Behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist. Kissing your neck and exposed shoulders.

You leaned into his touch, scrubbing the plate in front of you. You pressed your ass out, pushing it against his crotch. “Is this what you wanted to tell me?” He said pressing himself closer. You shook your head. “Johnny.” You said softly. You purposely drew out the situation just for the thrill. “I want you to cum in me.” You said nearly silent.

His movements were still a second. “Wait… Really? He said with almost a giggle. Like a child being told they were allowed to have a puppy. “Yes, Johnny.” You said setting the cleaned plates on the drying rack and twisting the sink off.

Mere seconds passing, he spun you around. Shoving your back against the ledge of the sink. Dipping down to your face to kiss you. His hands gripping onto your waist. You kissed him back, bringing your hands up to caress your face.

You pulled back with a small. “Calm down killer. You’re hurting my back on the sink.” You said giggling. He chuckled and stepped back. Letting you adjust your back. “If I had known I would’ve worn my cute g-string!” Johnny joked.

You sneered. “I’ll pass on that one.” You said walking towards the bedroom. You could feel the excitement radiating off of him. He had been waiting for this moment for months. Johnny entered the room behind you, shutting the door. You turned towards him and backed away slowly.

Your legs hit the front of the bed. He approached, pulling the shirt off of your body. He smiled wide. A smile that was almost always plastered across his face. You reached out and pulled off his own. Revealing his toned chest. He backed away a couple feet.

“Let’s not waste time honey. I know exactly what I want, and went I want it. I want you. Now. Get those clothes off.” He said beginning to unbutton his pants. He sent shivers down your body. You did what he said, and wasted no time. Sliding down your jeans, and slipping down your underwear. Looking up, all that he was left in was his boxers.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you close to his warm body. Resting his forehead against your own. He was significantly taller than you, his head tilting down to you. He shifted his face and began to kiss you. Immediately entering your mouth with his tongue. You explored each other’s body’s like you always did.

Though the interactions were more aggressive- more- yearning. You couldn’t wait any longer. You tugged his boxers down, and he took this as an invitation to remove your shirt and bra. Both of you struggled to shimmy off your articles of clothing but now left skin to skin. The warmth of your body’s burning each other.

You two backed against the bed, hitting the edge. He smiled and gently laid you against the made sheets. Soft against your bare back. The smiles shared between you two were genuine, and full of anticipation. He inched his way on top of you finding a comfortable position.

You knew he would start out gentle, inevitably leaving you a sore mess. He clicked his tongue and grabbed a pillow from behind you. Making sure both your head and lower back was supported.

Kneeling down into you he traced his fingers around your curves. He slowly pushed himself inside. A brand new sensation you had never experienced before. Thankfully with the grown anticipation, you were unbelievably soaked. Making his entry smooth.

His mouth just barely agape as he fully entered. “Wow.” was all he could mutter. You snickered at the dorky look on his face. Though admittedly just feeling him inside of you, entirely bare, was enough to make you howl.

His arms caged around your sides as he was inches away from your face. His warm breath tickling your nose. He began to pump. A slow pace for a start, but he was never patient.

As he picked up on his pace, your eyes were locked with his. Trying your best not to change expression. Johnny pushed himself deep and hard. Grunting every now and then when he changed pace. “Does it feel good sweetie?’ He whispered, a smile still wide across his face.

You nodded your head in response, hoping for something more. Noticing your lack of expression, he pulled out of you. He took your left breast into his mouth, and your right was graced with his twiddling fingers. Switching breasts he sucked and licked you in contentment.

He pulled away from you, standing up. He grabbed at his aching cock, and gave it a pump. Biting down on his lip as he admired your body.

He reached a hand out for you to grab, not saying anything. Giving a confused look you took his help and stood off the bed. He let go of your hand and stepped away from the foot of the bed. “You’re really going to feel it now. Get on that bed and arch for Johnny.” He said stepping over to you, giving you a firm smack.

You couldn’t help but giggle, and by that point, Johnny completely lost his composure. Letting out a hardy laugh. “I can’t take this so seriously! But god you’re fucking sexy.” He said rubbing his hands together in a silly manner.

You rolled your eyes and made your way back onto the bed. You got down on your hands and knees and arched your back as far as it would give. Pressing your face into the pillow. “Thatt’s it.” He said pressing his knee’s into the bed.

As you felt the weight shift, the anticipation that was long growing in you was ready to burst. He grabbed at your waist and shifted you until you were lined up with him. He was a lot larger than you, making for easy access to his favorite parts of you. He pressed inside of you rubbing your sides.

Though this time he wasn’t going to be gentle, nor slow. He slammed in and out. Scraping his nails along your figure. Pressing his head against your side. He rocked your body into him as he kept his pace. You screamed in pleasure, soaking the pillow you rested your face on.

For the first time you had heard Johnny moaning and howling almost as loud as you. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so fucking long.” He said grasping for your hanging breasts. Squeezing one with one hand, using the other to press bruises into your side.

"I've never felt you so soaked. You really wanted this huh? I bet you've wanted to feel my bare dick sooo fucking bad." He said with a strained laugh.

You grunted in response. Finding it hard to hang onto your breath. "I'm going to make sure you're fucking dripping with my cum baby." He said squeezing you harder.

Neither of you lasted very long. Screaming each other's names, almost drowning out the wet sounds of you both. As he nearly came to his edge, he bit into your shoulder. Making you cry out in painful pleasure.

“I’m going to fucking cum..” He grunted, pressing himself as deep as he could. As he hit your sweet spot, you thrashed in pleasure. Needing to be held still as you screamed. You could feel his hot cum filling you, a strong pressure making you feel even more full.

He didn’t stop until you were overfull. Pulling out you leaked cum. Your ass was covered in handprints, and your pussy was swollen. Though it was the most satisfaction you had ever felt. “I’m so glad I had been saving that. If I had any idea you were planning this I would’ve made it much more special.” Johnny said heading into the closet for a towel. “Rammed you harder than any bull that’s ever rammed me.” Johnny giggled. You sighed with a laugh. Relaxing your back, and laying on your stomach. Your body throbbed, but god. It was so worth it.

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[frothingatthemaw]

I Like The Way You Kiss Me

Series ao3 link

Part One: Just One Look at You and I'm Wasted

Sunny hated how pretty she found him. It flipped a switch in her brain that made her want to be close to him, wanting to take back what she was trying to do all together. Maybe she could settle with that. Maybe burning up in the heat of him was something she could grow a likeness for. (Or, Johnny and Sunny have a drunken first date.)

Rated: Not Rated | 5.7k

Tags: First Dates, First Kiss, Drunken Kissing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mentioned Marijuana Use, Neurodivergent OCs, Body Dysphoria (if you squint), Stimming, Sensory Issues

Part Two: Can I try again, try again, try again? (COMING SOON)

[philipjohnclapp]

ahh okay awesome!! just fyi i love really really dark stuff so feel free to make it as dark as you want! could i please request a chris pontius x reader taking place in the early 00’s, maybe reader is a celebrity/actress/tv personality and their close friendship is all over the tabloids. she’s also in jackass occasionally. but the whole world and especially chris wants it to be more, but she just isn’t sure. maybe one day the jackass crew is getting really wild and they’re doing some drugs, and chris gives her something that’s laced? he takes what he wants from her and is trying to get her pregnant so she can’t leave him. feel free to change anything you’d like! and if you need to post it on Ao3 that’s ok just let me know what your username is! :) thank you so much!!!

I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone.

Word Count: 5715

A/N: It is not very good, to my standards anyways. It just seems rushed. The ending is bad, the smut feels rushed. And I’m sorry for that, but it’s lengthy. And I think there’s plot, and you freaky people might like it. I have plenty other fanfics as well that I think are better so don’t judge this as my best work. As always I hope you like it anyways, and feel free to leave requests. Also, this takes place in MTV era. Obviously a girl YN.

There weren't many girls in Jackass or strung to it, there were medics, and other people who were around, but that didn’t have much to do with Jackass. They were so in and out so frequently that they really didn’t matter to the Jackass image, but there was one girl. One girl who was really starting to get tied to it, she was more famous than them, probably more famous than Bam. A true celebrity, and Chris was just absolutely infatuated with her. He truly didn’t know what to do with himself.

Chris usually had no issues with getting what he wanted, well, when it came to chicks anyways. He was practically swimming in them, but lately, fuck, he only wanted one thing. One person. He was lucky enough to string on some sort of friendship with this Jackass girl, actually he’d say they were pretty close if she just wasn’t so disinterested in him most of the time. It was really getting under his skin trying to plan ways to corner her, to get closer. Because this friendship just wasn’t cutting it, he needed to have her.

Even the papers were starting to reflect this, this want, his desire. They’d make articles trying to push and shove at this relationship, “look at the way he looks at her!” And fuck, he wished she seen it too. He was determined for her to see it too. Because he wasn ’t gonna let this slip, even if she said no. There had to be a way; there was always a way to get what he wanted. Not just any girl would do.

He really has tried other fucks since this lust, this life taking fascination has started, but it just couldn’t stop it. Or at least lesson his animalistic urges. In fact it’s gotten to the point where he can’t get hard with any girl. Without the images in his mind of fucking her, the Jackass girl. And now his fantasies weren’t even cutting it, so he had to find something else. He had to get this shit on the road, have this come into fruition before he fucking dies or something. Because he’s got a huge sex drive, and a crush like a boy in kindergarten.

He thinks he might’ve found his opportunity, one of the guys was hosting a rager, or maybe it wasn’t a party and it was just them. Or maybe it was some random person he knew throwing the party, he couldn’t remember all the details, the only thing that registered him was Y/N was gonna be there, the Jackass girl. The one who caused this rut, the girl who made his heart swell, and his palms sweaty. This was his chance to finally get what he deserves, the one time he actually wants something and it plays hard to get.

So, Chris does the only logical thing, what every guy his age does when they have a crush. He calls around for dealers looking for something in specific, he even went as far to ask Steve-O, and in his squeaky gruff voice he said, “fuck no dude, I’m not into that type of shit.” And Chris just frowned, he didn’t get upset often, but that surely bothered him. This wasn’t wrong, Steve-O was nuts and strung out on every drug. He resisted so much trying not to beat him up, stay the bubbly Chris and not the blood lusting one because that’s what this girl was making him do. Luckily, Steve-O gave his details to someone who could help him, and he went on his way with his tail wagging between his legs.

Chris met with the dealer the day before the party, just in case. He’s never put so much thought into something before, he’s never been so on edge. He never even told Steve-O why. His palms were all sweaty, and he kept looking around while he got the roofies, shoving a wad of cash into that guys hands before he headed on home with a racing heart.

He cleaned his apartment, once- maybe twice. Fuck. He was just in the zone, making sure everything just looked the way it should if that made any sense at all. He even cleared his search history. He was so paranoid, but the more he thought about it the more wrong it started to feel. He shook that thought from his head, discarding it. His mind was just playing tricks on him. So, he set the pills on his nightstand and then he went to bed. Like a kid the night before Christmas, he just couldn’t wait.

He tossed and turned all night, waking up more than a handful of times. Anxious, wanting the night to go by faster, but it didn’t. Eventually he gave up and he just got out of bed, deciding he’d just get ready for the day. Call it quits. He had a rewarding day ahead of him, and his cock jumped at the thought of it, but he couldn’t be so lucky to get a hard on. He just signed and hopped on into the shower, taking a lengthy shower, a cold one. And when he was done he slipped on some cameo shorts, no boxers, and a shirt with some cheesy slogan plastered on the chest. When he was done he went back over to his dresser, grabbing his truck keys, and the pills and shoving them into the pockets of his shorts before he headed out of the door. He wouldn’t show up empty handed.

The party was starting relatively early, as some sort of hangout and then it’ll just escalate into drinking and whatnot later. But he wasn’t gonna go empty handed. The drive to the liquor store was a rather quick one, he picked up two 24 packs of beer, not even really caring for the brand as he flashed his ID, paid for the items and then he left. Putting the drinks in the passenger side before heading to the designated party house. His heart was racing. Hopefully the stars aligned for him tonight. With the help of some sweet old roofies.

To his surprise a decent amount of people were there, quite a few cars parked outside the giant house. Maybe it was Jeff’s, he couldn’t tell. It’s not like he went to his place often enough anyways. Exiting his truck as he carried both packs of beer, with a silly grin on his face as he walked up the drive in, someone running up beside him as he walked. Cocking his head to the side only to be met with good old Knoxville, who greeted him.

“Hey, party boy.. you brought drinks!”

He said enthusiastically, once they were inside, Knoxville ripped open one of the boxes Pontius was holding and he snagged himself a beer without question. It was the key to his heart. Even if the beer wasn’t exactly for him. Then again, that didn’t matter as long as his pills were safe, which they were. He hoped Y/N showed up, his whole night counted on it. If it didn’t he’d probably go home and cry. Pontius’s smile turned into a frown as he headed into the kitchen. Setting down both sets of 24 packs, fetching himself a beer too. Though, he wanted to stay as sober as possible so he could marinate in the experience.

Opening his own beer can as he stayed in the kitchen, just sipping on it for a while. He didn’t know how much time had passed until some strangers started flooding in, which he talked to for a moment until he peeled away to find someone he knew. He ended up finding a few of the guys, Tremaine, Preston, and Spike. Who he happily chatted to, until Y/N had come on over, he practically jumped when he seen you, a huge grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms on around you into a rather tight embrace.

“Hey Chris-“

You spoke. Being cut off by the sudden embrace, you just smiled and laughed. He probably already drank a decent amount, you liked hanging out with him though. Honestly, you weren’t even sure you were gonna go, mostly because of how big the party was gonna be and you could always drink at home. At least Chris was here, and you could always sneak off with him later.

“You’ve already had a lot to drink, haven’t you?”

You asked, purely out of curiosity as you pulled away from his embrace, eyeing the can of beer. And Chris’s brain just sorta short circuited for a moment as he quietly nodded. Even if this was his first beer, and he barely drank half of it. He was that careful. One was good enough to keep the edge off. He was playing it safe after all.

“Not enough, want me to fetch you a beer?”

He asked you, finishing off the rest that was in his own real quick. Before pulling it away from his lips and setting it down on some random countertop. He looked at you real carefully for a moment, and that focused look made your brows twist. Shaking off that random unnerving feeling that crept up your spine as you agreed.

“Yeah, okay. I might as well.”

You mumbled, even though for a moment you thought if you listened hard enough you could hear your mind screaming at you not to. But you shrugged that off too, just all that stress from the media and everything else getting to you. Just needed to relax a bit, and the beer would

Certainly do that for you. Also a bit of chatting with Chris always made your days a bit better. And you were glad that for once everyone was in the same

place, maybe you’d even go find Bam later. You’ve been wanting him to introduce you to his brother since you’ve really been starting to take a liking to CKY. The music was really good, maybe you were just delusional, though. Who knows.

Once you gave him the go ahead (he was gonna get you a drink anyways regardless) he parted ways from you briefly. Even though that was the utmost last thing that he wanted to do, he wanted to be as close as possible to you, but he’d have to wait. He couldn’t mess that up.

He smiled at you, it was sharp. Actually; everything about Chris was sharp right now, all of his features, all crooked and seemed sharp enough to stab you. It was different. That was different, his boyish shine was nowhere to be found, and you’ve never felt so terrified before. Maybe you were just being paranoid, it’s okay. Chris was always fine, now wouldn’t be any different.

Chris slipped back into the kitchen, leaving you with that uneasy feeling in your gut. He thought about the drink of choice, and he went for some sort of hard beverage, to of course enhance the experience. Pouring the strong liquid into the cup, and mixing it with some sort of soda. He left the solo cup on the counter as he felt around his pants pockets until he pulled out that baggy he had achieved earlier that day. Or maybe it was yesterday, he couldn’t exactly remember. Crushing the pills up in the bag until it was a fine powder, before he opened the baggy and shook all the powder out into the drink. Making sure he got every grain out before discarding the baggy in his back pocket. He stuck his index finger into the drink, swirling around the powder in it until it dissolved enough for him to be satisfied. Once he was done he picked back up the drink and left the kitchen, trotting back over to Y/N like an obedient dog. But he was anything but that, he was one bad dog tonight.

While he was gone you just stood there, debating leaving or not, but you decided you didn’t want to be an asshole for no reason. So you waited, defying your mind and soul. And then Chris was back before you knew it, with a solo cup of some sort of liquid. Your brows furrowed to one of confusion as you looked into his brown eyes, one’s that lacked that usual warmness. There wasn’t a sparkle in them,

“That’s not beer, is it?”

You asked. The look he had on his face was weird, as if he forgot how to control his face. Like he was making it up on the spot, and when he replied he stumbled over his words a bit. Making it all up on the spot as he held the drink forward, shaking it a bit to bring your attention to it. So you would take it.

“No,, there wasn’t any that I could see, but this stuffs better, trust me.”

Assuring you, well, pleading with you to take it. Like if you didn’t he might die. Fabricating a story and throwing in a few white lies, there was obviously beer. You knew it too, hell, you seen the beer in the kitchen when you were in there. But you ignored that sign again, of course you did. Caving in and taking that drink from him. He watched you take a long swig of the drink, it tasted bitter, but that could be because it was one of your first drinks, it was probably nothing.

“Good,, right?”

He says rather nervously as he watches you take your first sip, you weren’t so sure on how to react so you just give him a nod and a slight smile. A nervous one that was rather forced when you pull the brim of the solo cup away from your lips. You shake away that feeling again and decide fuck it, you’re at a party, your friends party. And nothing will happen to you because of that, so you start drinking more of the drink and Chris starts to loosen up a bit and converse a bit more. Before you knew it almost all of the drink was gone and your body was starting to sway.

And then you felt a rather firm hand grab onto your waist, supporting most of you as you leaned into it. Turning your head to the side to see whoever was grabbing you. Your head feeling all fuzzy, and your vision getting blurry. It was Johnny, you could tell by his shades, and you could see the concerned look on his face,

“You alright, Y/N?”

And Chris intervenes, knocking his hand against Johnny's wrist rather sharply, pushing him away. He traded Johnny's hand on your waist with his own as he interjected.

“She’s fine, don’t touch her PJ.”

You opened your mouth to say something as you turned your head to meet Chris. You were barely able to do that, moving your head was a whole lot harder than it was moments ago. No word came out of your mouth, just a glob of drool. And before you knew it your vision was fading. The last thing you heard was Johnny's muffled voice, you weren't able to make out the words as your vision faded to black.

“What the fuck did you do to her?!”

Chris caught your very limp body as you started to fall, switching from the way he held you to bridal style. Shooting Johnny sharp daggers as he growled at him in a way that could only be described as animalistic.

“You don’t understand, man, I fucking need this.”

He was no better than a dog, Johnny could hear the low guttural growl fall from his mouth. He said nothing, Johnny smiled at him through his dark shades. Putting his hands up in defense,

“Alright, alright. No need ta go all feral on me,, but, man.. She’s fuckin’ hot, ya gotta lemme fuck her”

Johnny's accent was strong, eyeing Y/Ns passed out corpse. The same way Chris did, with the utmost desire.

“Fuckkk… her tits are wonderful.”

Chris actually laughed at that, but frowned at the idea of having to share Y/N with him. Furrowing his brows as he replied, he sounded off. Not as warm as he usually was, his voice was all sharp like a cactus.

“Only if you keep your mouth shut about this, PJ. I’ll slice your neck if you tell a soul.”

Something told Johnny that he wasn’t lying, he swallowed hard and nodded his head obediently. Honestly, he wouldn’t complain. Not a soul, this would just be a fond memory to look back upon. He understood the assignment.

“Yessir, you’ve got it.”

With another firm nod from Johnny, he followed Pontius whom started to walk rather quickly. And then he went up a flight of stairs, disappearing into a bedroom that wasn’t his. PJ shut the door right behind them, making sure to lock the door real well. This is where the fun started.

Pontius threw your limp body onto the bed, it was like you were a doll. An unconscious doll, anybody would think you were dead if it wasn’t for the fact you had a pulse. You must’ve done something really bad to end up here, perhaps this was all of life’s karma adding up to conspire against you.

Chris smiled to himself, letting out a soft exhale as he watched you from the foot of the bed, Knoxville somewhere behind him already pulling down his jeans and boxers to his mid thighs.

Your “best friend” did the same. Pulling down his loved cameo shorts in one swift tug before he palmed himself through his striped boxers, something of a blue-green color. Already developing himself an erection. He rubbed his calloused palm against his clothed dick until his semi became a full on hard on. He let out a sharp groan. He decided to spoil himself, pulling his hand away and pulling down his boxers. Letting a small clothing collection build at his feet, and then pulling off his shirt. This is one of those things in life that you do completely naked.

When he was done stripping, he decided he didn’t need a condom. He needed the full experience of you, and no protection involved, because getting you pregnant was just a plus to him. He got closer to the bed before just climbing on top of it, mumbling something about Johnny waiting his turn as Chris got onto his knees. Sinking them into the bed as he watched you hard. You didn’t move, but he watched your chest rise and fall. Your clothed chest. You were wearing such a pretty dress. He’d try his best to not ruin it too much, but Chris could make no promises.

Chris had already gone far enough, and why waste an opportunity like this with a condom? This could be his only time and it would definitely just get in the way, so he didn’t bother. Of course he didn’t bother, even if he had a condom in the pockets of his shorts. Screw protection. He wanted to share liquids with you.

He could gawk at you forever, but time was limited. This wasn’t his place, and he didn’t know when his potion of “love juice” would wear off. Plus, he wanted to enjoy you as long as he could. And he feels like he would just explode if he didn’t get to touch you, so he did.

Pressing both of his hands against your thighs. Running them up and down your smoothed legs, going as far as to your skirt, and then back down again. His heart jumped every time he neared the hem of it, it was a very short skirt anyways. He wondered if you did that on purpose, so all the guys would stare at you. That thought made him jealous. It really bothered him.

And then he stopped abruptly. Johnny had stepped closer from where he was in the corner of the room. He had his hand pressed against his clothed dick in his dickies. Rubbing himself as he watched you and Chris through his dark shades, like the pervert he is.

Chris couldn’t contain himself any longer, the longer he postponed this the less time he would have with your luscious body- and he wanted to enjoy it thoroughly. And he would.

His dick was pressed into the sheets, his tip an agitated almost purplish color as he ruined the sheets with his precum. Leaving a wet stain on the almost pristine bed set. He was antsy, and eager. A dog losing its patience when waiting for a treat, he’d take his treat now thank you very much.

Finally taking his hands off your legs he had been caressing ever so sweetly, his hands ghosted the edge of your skirt. Stopping for just a moment, before he resumed and grabbed onto the small piece of fabric, flipping your skirt up. He wouldn’t take it off; at least not yet.

His breathing hitched for a moment as he gazed at your lacy underwear, the colors complimented your skin perfectly. He wondered if you wore them for him, and the idea that you might’ve made his heart flutter, he couldn’t take them off either. Not something so pretty. He could work around them too, probably.

Chris couldn’t wait much longer, well, he wasn’t gonna wait any longer. The clock was ticking. Johnny was getting rather fidgety back there, and well, he couldn’t have tonight gone wrong. He’s already waited a lifetime, how much more should he have to go through to have you? He deserved this. He deserved you, all of you. And you were gonna know that by the time he was done with you.

Inching himself closer to your smaller frame, he was between your legs and was probably barely an inch away from your groin. His right hand was pressed into your inner thigh, sliding upwards until his fingers could drag against the borders of your precious lingerie. Which definitely wasn’t what it was.

Grabbing onto your underwear, he pulled it to the side so he could reveal your pussy to himself. And for that moment he held his breath. His head hung low, and the anticipation was killing him. It felt like a dream, but it wasn’t. He knew it wasn’t. It was a dream come true. This was officially the best day of his life. He boasted to himself mentally. He wondered if Knoxville would think he was crazy if he said that out loud? Deciding he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Knoxville should be happy that he’s allowed to even watch,, maybe even touch you if he’s good. But maybe not.. Why should Johnny be allowed to touch you when he’s barely gotten to touch you himself?

Chris knocked the thoughts of Knoxville out of his head, he wasn’t fucking Johnny. He was fucking you. The once in a lifetime opportunity that he was wasting to instead think. Yeah, he’d pass on that

His left hand wrapped firmly around his rock solid cock, as he pressed his tip against your entrance. As if your body knew, you were already wet for him. He could feel it. It sent chills down him as he wished he could bask in it longer, but he couldn’t. His manhood couldn’t take it.

Rubbing his tip up and down your folds, just testing the water works. It felt heavenly, he let out a groan and he shut his eyes. Embracing the feeling just for a moment. That is all he needed and then he was ready to go at it.

Sliding his dick down until he was pressed against your opening, he slowly pushed himself in. Using his hand as guidance since your unconscious body couldn’t.

It wasn’t easy, no, not one bit. Your body was rejecting him, and that beyond thrilled him. Feeling the tightness of your cunt only fueled him more. Getting antsy, and lacking any sort of humanity, he thrusted forward. Even though he was probably less than a quarter way in. He let go of his dick, and your underwear. Putting his hands somewhere else instead.

He reached them forward, his dick still inside of you as he instead grabbed onto your boobs. Your clothed boobs, still wearing that dress. And as he did so he pushed himself (almost) all the way inside of you. His body was all tense when he did.

“…Jeezus baby..”

He breathed out, as if you could hear him. It fell onto deaf ears as he waited a second, just staring down at you. You almost looked peaceful, except the crinkle in your brow. But peaceful to him. And he was gonna wreck it, claim your humanity, and mark you as his.

Chris slid back out almost all of the way before sliding back in rather roughly, his breathing hitching as his grip on your chest tightened.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.. so tight for me.”

His voice was husky, deep. And even Knoxville was on his heels listening. He was pretty sure by now Knoxville was so close that his knees were touching the back of the bed. He wasn’t checking, his eyes were all on you.

Slowly starting to rock himself back and forth until he got some sort of pace, and he did. Biting down on his bottom lip. His whole body was clammy. And by now he was more so gripping onto the top of your dress than he was your breasts. Just because it was easier to grab.

Pontius could only be satisfied with a slow pace for so long, and the fact he didn’t have anyone complaining to him about speed.. or his fucking gigantic dick was nice. And for once he preferred the quiet. But he’d be lying if he didn’t say that he wanted to hear your moans. He did. Maybe next time he could.

He had to work with what he got, and his time was draining quickly. So, he picked up the pace for the sake of him and his painful boner. His thrusts started to quicken into targeted thrusts. Slamming into your cervix every time. His breathing starting to get heavy with every thrust, he was like some horn dog desperate for its next climax. And he was. The excitement of being inside of you was unreal. All of his dreams were coming to fruition.

The longer strands of his short hair falling forward and into his face, but that didn’t seem to bother him. Or slow him down. He didn’t need to see to get the job down; and it didn’t dull the experience either. This has already been memorable and he wasn’t even done yet.

Grabbing fist fulls of the top of your dress, pulling you up slightly as his grip had tightened. Thrusting forward like his life depended on it, his hips staggered as he let out a groan, cumming inside of you,

“..Take it all baby.. shiiit.. take it all.”

He breathed out as he thrusted forward one final time, deep inside of you as he emptied himself completely. Painting your insides with white.

Chris squeezed his eyes shut as he stayed still. He wanted nothing more than for this to be an everyday thing. To be with you until the end of time,, and so he was a little careless. Of course he was. And the worst thing he could do right now was cum inside of you. But he never said he was smart, and he never said that this wasn’t his plan all along. He in fact wanted nothing more than to come inside of you. To make you his, to have a child with you. Even if he had to do this again, make history repeat itself. He’d do whatever he had to do.

Pontius didn’t wanna move but he knew he had to. What made that certain is he thought he felt you move. And that spooked him, as he opened his eyes he heard Johnny speak,

“Hey, party boy. Think she’s waking up, let’s go.”

And then he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was cold. It was Johnny, and he was right. Even if he didn’t want him to be. Chris slowly pulled out, with more careful consideration than he had earlier. Wiping his dick off on your dress. Before he got off the bed and turned to face Knoxville.

Johnny was completely clothed, and he had Chris’s clothes in his hands now. He couldn’t tell what Johnny was thinking either, the glasses covered his eyes. Bastard had a weird habit of wearing sunglasses inside, and his facial expression was unreadable otherwise. Johnny handed his clothes back over to Chris.

“I’m heading out, I’ll see you later Pontius.”

Johnny stated, a slight smirk noticeable on his face before he turned away from him and headed to the door they came in from initially. He had some sort of small camera in his hands that he tried his best to hide. But Chris didn’t say anything, favoring it to be nothing instead. Knoxville opened the door and headed downstairs lord knows where.

Chris nodded his head, frowning slightly as he got dressed. His eyebrows furrowed as he took one glance back at your stirring form, before he turned away and left the bedroom as well. Disappearing down stairs into the party. Becoming one with the other forms downstairs. Leaving you to your own demise. After all, it was the least he could do.

It had been terrible, truly. Your night has been terrible. You woke up with a foggy head not really remembering the night that had happened, and it took you a long moment to come to reality. Your body was sore, unbelievably sore. And your crotch had hurt even more. It was like an excruciating pain. And when you really looked around the room you realized you didn’t know where you were, but you were alone. And that you have been violated. You felt liquid inside of you, jizz dripping down your leg and you cringed. But you had to get up and get out of here, so you did.

Somehow managing to try and fix yourself and get downstairs. Most of the party was gone, still you avoided everyone you saw because you looked absolutely terrible and the last thing you needed was someone seeing this. Seeing you like this.

You exited the “party” going straight to your car and entering it. Sitting in the driver's seat. You leaned back, mumbling a bunch of profanity. This couldn’t be happening to you, could it? Trying to clear your head enough to think of what to do now. And once you had a solid plan you drove off. Driving home because thankfully you had everything you needed there. Well, not everything. But being at home now would really make you feel a whole lot better.

When you got home you went straight to the bathroom, digging around in all the cabinets until you found what you were looking for. By now you were barefoot, ditching your heels as you had walked to the bathroom. You pulled a pregnancy test out of one of the cabinets. Standing in front of the toilet as you managed to pee on the test, even though it hurt. And for the moment this was about the only thing you thought about. The only thing right now you could do. Bringing the test with you as you waited for the results, praying to god for a negative as you exited the bathroom and went to the living room.

Setting down the test on the coffee table because you couldn’t care less about the sanitation, you punched in the numbers to the only person you thought you could call, picking up the phone as it rang. Hoping to god your publicist would answer. And they did. Thank fucking god.

“Y/N?”

He said, his voice sounded funny but you chalked it up to it being early. It was the early hours of the morning.

“Hey.. I have a problem.”

You said, your voice quieter than intended. Taking a nervous glance at the test. Your eyes widening when you seen two lines on it,

“Shit… fuck! It's positive.”

“What’s a positive??? You’re pregnant, aren’t you.”

“Yeah.. fuck. Shit.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. It’s fine.. who were you with?”

“I.. Chris..? Last night,, but..”

You froze. As all the pieces started to click in place, shit. He really did this to you? Your best friend? Of course. This couldn’t be happening to you. You hung up on him rather quickly. Sitting down on the couch, absolutely devastated. You were fucked, this was career suicide. And you didn’t even want this to happen, you didn’t even know.

You didn’t know how long it had been when your phone went off, you spent the past probably about an hour on the couch nervous brainstorming all the possibilities, and then probably another thirty pacing back and forth. And then you were on the couch again when your landline went off. You stopped what you were “doing” and you picked up the phone instantly on the second ring, and it was some person who worked at TMZ asking about your pregnancy?? And talking about details no one knew. You freaked, not even getting any words out before you hung up and called back up your publicist,

“The tabloids are already on it?? What the hell do I do???”

“Don’t even worry about it, no publicity is bad publicity, Y/N. This will be good for your career, after all the fans have been hinting at you and Chris for months. It's about time you made it official to the world.”

Your face fell as you heard a knock on your door, and a very familiar chipper voice boasting about some news article of you and him, and rambling about the fact that they were calling you a slut, and he thought otherwise. And that he couldn’t wait to be a dad, and that you would come around. Whoever said Jackass was a good idea should kill themself.

It wouldn’t be long until the footage was released, Knoxville was an excellent camera man.

[louscartridge]

Johnny knoxville talks ypu through it.

[philipjohnclapp]

It’s on.

Imagine starting off the jackass movie with “hi I’m y/n and this jackass” you look like you took a bad hit and as you walk off you say “I think I just broke my fucking finger”

Oh what I’d give to be a silly little 2000s dude with horrendous style who does dangerous stunts with a bunch of idiots 😔

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[tonymarias]

this is a joke I owe all jackass fanfic writers still writing in 2024 my fucking life

[storiesforallfandoms]

feeling good ~ johnny knoxville

word count: 1823

request?: yes!

“I’m not too sure if you’d write for the Jackass, but I’m going out on a limb here. I wanted to request Johnny Knoxville smut, just him eating you out like his life depended on it and maybe him cumming in his pants. Idk why I just feel like that man goes feral for pussy. Thank you.”

“Hiya, would you be able to do a Johnny Knoxville smut?? Can literally be anything!!”

“hey i've just read your Johnny Knoxville fics and I LOVED them! I think you're an incredible writer!!

If it's okay (and you don't have to write it if you don't want to) but would you be able to write a Johnny Knoxville x female reader smut? Literally anything!!

Thank you!!!”

description: in which he gets a little too turned on while making her feel good

pairing: johnny knoxville x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (oral; f receiving), this might be more of a blurb than a one shot/imagine, but let’s see where it goes (which isn’t really a warning but i feel like i have to state that now)

masterlist (one, two, three)

It was an understatement to say that Johnny worshipped your pussy. Every second he could get he would want to be giving it all the love and attention he felt it deserved, whether that be playing with it, fingering it, fucking it just the way you wanted him to. But his favorite way to worship your pussy was by going down on you.

There was no place Johnny would rather be than laying on this stomach or down on his knees with his head between your thighs and his tongue absolutely devouring your clit. It was his favorite way to get you prepped for his cock, although sometimes he didn’t even need to put himself inside of you to get off. All he needed was his tongue against you, your thighs around his head, and the beautiful sounds of your moans filling his ears.

Johnny was absolutely feral for your pussy.

You’d never complain about his love for going down on you, though. Not that you could, honestly. When Johnny’s tongue was on you, you could barely form a coherent sentence. He made you feel so good in a way you didn’t even know was possible. You half-jokingly told him more than once that you had wasted all your life with guys who were “afraid to eat pussy”, and he wholeheartedly agreed.

Your favorite was when he would wake you with his tongue, which was how your day had started on this particular morning.

You were already in the middle of a wet dream involving Johnny when you were slowly roused from your slumber by a pleasurable feeling between your legs. At first, you just thought you were still dreaming. It wasn’t until you felt the sharp sting of Johnny’s fingernails digging into your thighs that you realized this was real, and you quickly opened your eyes so you could take a good look at your loving boyfriend beneath the covers.

You pulled back the covers and ran a hand through Johnny’s graying hair. Feeling your touch, he looked up at you with those lustful brown eyes that you loved so much.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he said.

“Good morning,” you responded, your sentence capped off with a gasp as Johnny ran his tongue through your folds again. “I’ll never get over waking up this way.”

“Good,” he said. “Because I don’t intend on stopping this any time soon.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, he dove back into your pussy. Your head fell back against the pillow as you moaned in pure ecstasy. Johnny’s tongue ran from your clit down to your pussy, lapping up the pool of arousal that was forming there. One hand gripped the sheets beneath you as the other held firmly to Johnny’s head, attempting to stay grounded however you could.

He started by lapping slow, long strokes from your cunt to your clit. A repetitive back and forth that had your toes curling already. After being teased by your dream, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to last long. You desperately wanted to feel him inside of you, but you knew it was no use in asking him to stop just yet. For one, he was going to want you to cum in his mouth. That was a given. But also, you knew that if he did stop now to fuck you, he’d just be right back where he started after a short break so he could get what he wanted.

There's no harm in multiple orgasms, you thought to yourself. I’ll have him inside of me either way.

What you didn’t know was that this was turning Johnny way more than he felt it should’ve. Of course, it wasn’t the first time that the action of eating you out alone had gotten him this rock hard and ready to burst. Most times he felt like this, actually. He had never voiced that to you in fear of what you’d think of him getting off to just eating you out. It always made him feel like a teenage boy again instead of a grown man.

But most times when Johnny got too turned on just from eating you out, he would get you to cum almost immediately so he could fuck you and get his own release. Since he had gotten a bit of a head start (no pun intended) before you woke up, he felt like he was dangerously balancing on the edge of his own orgasm. He didn’t think he’d last long even when he finally got to put himself inside of you.

His tongue strokes became quicker and more desperate. His face was buried in your pussy, his tongue shoving as deep into you as he possibly could. Feeling the tip of his tongue protruding your tight hole caused your body to tremor with the build up of your orgasm. You gripped his hair tightly and pulled it a little, causing him to moan into your dripping folds. His dick was so painfully hard that all he craved was to feel your cunt gripping him tightly, milking his cum out of him while he got to look down at your beautiful face.

Johnny rutted his hips into the mattress in hopes of getting some relief, but it proved to be a bad idea when he felt his own orgasm creeping up on him. Even the slightest breeze could push him over the edge at this point. He didn’t want to hurry you along too much, but he was beyond desperate at this point.

You started chanting his name like it was the only word that you knew. That’s how he knew you were getting close. He gripped your thighs so tightly that he was leaving crescent marks imprinted on your soft skin. He ate you out like you were the last meal he would ever have, feeling your body tense up and wanting to feel it release as soon as possible.

“Johnny!” you cried out as you felt the coil inside of you snap suddenly. He moaned into you, the vibrations running throughout your body like extra pleasure.

You whimpered as Johnny pulled away from you. His lips and chin were glistening from your juices, a sight that turned you on enough to want to go for a round two almost immediately. You reached out for him as he started to lift himself off of the bed, but he caught your wrists in your hands before you could pull off his pajama pants.

“I...uh...I may need a minute,” he said.

You looked at him in confusion as he got off the bed and made his way into the ensuite bathroom. You couldn’t understand why he wanted to take a break before fucking you. Usually, once he made you cum, he’d have himself balls deep inside of you now and fucking your brains out.

It wasn’t until you moved to close your legs and felt a wet patch near your feet that you got an idea as to what had happened.

When Johnny exited the bathroom, sans his pants and boxers, you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself.

“Did you cum just from going down on me?” you asked.

You didn’t mean for it to sound judgmental. You definitely were not about to make any negative comments after making this discovery. You didn’t want Johnny to feel bad, and also you found it very hot that he was able to get off like that. But your question caused a look of embarrassment to cross over Johnny’s face. You quickly sat up onto your knees and moved to the edge of the bed to take his face in your hands, forcing you to look at him.

“Hey,” you said in a soft, soothing voice. “I didn’t mean anything by that. I just wanted some confirmation on if that’s what happened or not.”

“I don’t want to confirm it,” Johnny muttered. “It’s fucking embarrassing.”

“No it’s not! Baby, that’s hot.”

“You think it’s hot that I came in my pants like a fucking middle schooler getting dry humped for the first time?”

You chuckled and pulled him so that he was sat on the bed next to you. “Okay, I understand why you may think it’s embarrassing. But to me, it’s really fucking hot to know that you got off that much by going down on me. Is that the first time it’s ever happened?”

Johnny nodded. He tried to look away from you, but you put a hand under his chin and forced him to look back up at you.

“No embarrassment,” you reminded him. “I’m just asking questions.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, it’s the first time. I’ve gotten turned on to a point where I was close before, but I’ve never gone that far where I came just from eating you out. Usually we fuck before I get to that point, but I guess where you were asleep when I started today, and I was already hard from my morning wood, I just...couldn’t hold it back.”

You leaned forward to press a kiss on Johnny’s cheek, moving inwards until your lips were nearly touching his ear.

“I think that’s really fucking hot,” you whispered in his ear, nibbling it slightly before pulling away. Red started to crawl up his neck towards his face as he looked at you with wide eyes. “You like eating this pussy so much that it makes you cum?”

He nodded, unable to form any words. You noticed his dick twitch and begin to grow slightly. You smirked to yourself as you reached between the two of you and wrapped your hand around the base. He gasped as you pumped him slightly, helping him along to become harder.

“I think it’s so hot that you definitely deserve the pleasure that you were robbed from getting earlier,” you continued. “Do you think you’d be okay with that? Can your cock handle feeling my tight pussy around it right now?”

He moaned and grabbed your face to kiss you deeply in response. By now, his dick was rock hard yet again and throbbing in your hand. He pulled at your shirt, the only article of clothing in the way of leaving the two of you completely bare. You broke the kiss long enough for him to pull the shirt over your head and throw it onto the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes. You pushed him so he was laying down on the bed and straddled his lap.

“You took such good care of me this morning, I think it’s time I took care of you,” you told him. “Is that okay?”

“Fuck, that’s more than okay,” he breathed. “God, you’re so fucking perfect. How did I ever get so lucky?”

You giggled and leaned down to kiss him. “Because you know how to give good head.”

[philipjohnclapp]

I’m not too sure about good, but I’m here.

Where’d all the good jackass fans go

[strcwbrryklss]

CHAPTER ONE of my johnny knoxville slowburn fic is out !

[michelle-is-writing]

Aspen, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.3k~

With how much Jackass has travelled over the years, you’d think making hotel reservations would be easier. However, it is the jackass guys we’re talking about, and even though my husband is one of the sweetest and most caring guys, he’s included in that jumble. Then again, Johnny was one of the very first members of Jackass; so the bar for common sense never started out very high.

“There’s no way I’m sharing a room with him,” Dave states as he points at Pontius, obviously upset with the hotel’s recent revelation. “Why should we all have to share a room, huh? Why can’t we just go to another hotel?”

“Because this is the one we booked, and the floor we have only has big rooms with double beds,” Jeff states, already tired of Dave’s constant complaints. “Now just shut the hell up.”

Meanwhile, Johnny and I remain silent as everyone discusses their roommate plans for the next few nights. The guys decided to go to Alaska for an upcoming skit they’re wanting to do, and already, some aren’t happy thanks to the harsh weather change.

“Well, I already found my roommate,” Johnny points out the obvious as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I only giggle up at him as the guys groan around us. Many years of marriage later and the guys are still waiting for our honeymoon phase to be over. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think of it as just a 'phase’ that will go away sooner or later.

Playing along with him, I gasp dramatically and slap his chest gently. “You'd choose me over Steve-O? What?” I joke making him snicker as he only tugs me closer to him. I’m not much for PDA, but I’ll happily accept the little bit of warmth coming from Johnny’s hold.

“Oh, honey, I’ll always choose you,” he assures me, his face barely inches away from mine as he grins coyly. His face is so close to mine that I can even smell the cinnamon gum he has in his mouth - the same gum I watched him take out of my purse right before we got here.

Before I can stare back at Johnny’s smirking face for any longer, Bam’s voice interrupts us, sarcasm clearly laced in his voice. “Can you two just not for five fucking seconds?” He complains, the guys fake gagging around him to match his attitude. However, Johnny and I just look back at each other with unfaltering smiles on our faces.

Thankfully, the guys are able to get their rooms sorted out, allowing all of us to head up to our rooms and get comfortable. We’ve been on the road for who knows how long because somebody had the great idea to go to Aspen for some stunts. After all of the driving and harsh temperature changes due to it being late at night, you’d think Johnny would want to go to bed or just relax, but nope. Not Johnny.

It’s only after a couple rounds that Johnny is happy, and I can’t say I’m unhappy as I thoroughly enjoyed those couple of rounds. However, I can say that these rooms are pretty small, and I have no doubt that the walls are thin as well.

“I’m so happy I married you,” Johnny murmurs to me after everything, making me smile despite the growing embarrassment gnawing at me. There were several times where my ears caught the immature laughter of the guys outside, and even though we tried to keep quiet, a few moans slipped out here and there.

“I think they heard us,” I point out to Johnny in a quiet voice, but I don’t think it reaches his ears.

“You’re so stunning,” he responds, making me roll my eyes.

“Johnny, I’m serious!” I tell him, sitting up in bed. “Get up and make sure no one is outside of the door or anything, please?” I practically beg him, earning a similar eye roll back.

“…fine.” Johnny groans after a few seconds, shuffling out of bed before throwing his pants on begrudgingly. After doing so, he heads to our hotel door and unlocks it before peeking his head out and turning to look down the hallway. My eyes watch him closely, waiting for the inevitable pin to drop.

“Hey, guys, if you could keep the noise down, I’m a little busy in here,” Johnny decides to yell out, making me completely freeze in the bed.

“Why the fuck are you talking?!” I hear Bam yell back, “We’ve had to suffer for the last thirty damn minutes hearing you and (Y/n) go at it like animals in there!”

As if I wasn’t already covered up by all of the blankets because of cold, I scoot myself farther underneath the covers to hide my burning face. I’ll never be able to live this moment down with the guys, and I’ll never let Johnny forget it either.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to register the blankets being lifted up behind me before a surprised shriek leaves my lips feeling a cold body jump in bed behind me, equally chilly arms wrapping around me and pulling me close at the same time. Instantly, I recognize Johnny’s hold from anywhere and shrink more into my blankets with an embarrassed giggle. “That was mortifying, PJ!” I murmur, earning a loud laugh back from him. He knows when I use his actual name, I’m not joking around.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Johnny apologizes, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he gently rocks us back and forth in the bed. “I didn’t realize the guys were standing out there… not saying it would have changed much, but-“

My laughter cuts Johnny off from saying anymore as he begins to join me in my giggling fit. It’s only when Johnny begin to nuzzle his face into my neck that our laughter begins to die down, causing me to turn over toward him. With our noses almost touching, I smile at him as I continue to get comfortable in Johnny’s hold. The whole time, he stares at me intensely, making me lift a questioning brow at him. “What?” He asks, shuffling his body even more against me. “Can I not stare at my stunning wife?”

Hearing the descriptor from earlier leave his lips once again, I only smile at him before closing my eyes. As I do this, I take a deep breath before pushing my head deeper into the pillow beneath our heads. For a few seconds, the room remains quiet (all except for the loud music still coming from the rest of the guys’ rooms), but Johnny soon breaks that silence. It starts with the rustle of the covers before his hand rests itself on my hip and he speaks up.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, making me reopen my eyes to look back at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

I love these moments where Johnny’s sweet and caring; we might be married, but I still find my heart beating faster in the moments where Johnny shows that tender side of him as he always has to be the jokester or prankster of the group.

“No, I’m okay, honey. I promise,” I tell him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips to seal the promise. However, before I can pull away, Johnny moves a hand behind my head and kisses me back fervently. This lasts for a few more seconds until he pulls away with a small sigh.

“You know I always want to make sure,” Johnny reminds me, earning a nod back from me. With that, we’re finally able to relax together with nothing else worrying us; however, once again, it’s Johnny who ends up breaking the silence in the room.

“After this, I have realized I cannot go anywhere else without you again,” he tells me, a smirk evident in his voice. “Ready to fill out your passport, babe?”

[frothingatthemaw]

a lil something from a sunville wip of mine :]

This pulls a larger laugh from him. Johnny leans back and gasps for a breath before he’s settled into looking at her once more. “That’s what I like about you, Sun.” He places his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close into his side. “You don’t hesitate to put me back in my fuckin’ place.”

If only that were true. Sunny wants to tell him that, except she liked how his words made her feel too much to say anything else. The fact of the matter was that she didn’t do it for that reason on purpose. She didn’t mean to do something he found attractive, a something that made him feel enough to get her on him. Most times, it was for selfish reasons, it wasn’t for him, it was for her own comfort. Plus, it could be an accident, that was what happened most often. She wasn’t aware of what she did. Sunny liked him not far off of a fault. Johnny’s words knew how to keep her own curbed.

The beaming heat radiating off of his body is what keeps her from thinking on that much longer. Johnny running hot is something else she’s noticed about him. He’s hot and he’s got a thing for being close to her. Moth to flame. Or some other confusing analogy that Sunny half understands. The thing she thinks of to get his sweltering body off of her is to reach under his shirt and pinch his skin like she did at what seemed to be much earlier in the night. So, she does just that.

“Ow.” Johnny’s stomach instinctively moves back into itself from the pinch. His monotone doesn’t match what he said either. It’s more of a habit than having any real meaning behind it. It doesn’t have the effect she wanted. Her drunken mind didn’t think that one through. With his mouth hung open, he says, “If you keep doin’ that we’re gonna have issues, lady.”

[philipjohnclapp]

I mean, technically, he never left.

ryan was born in ohio

[philipjohnclapp]

hi! is there any chance you could write a short fic or a headcanon about Johnny taking care of a pregnant reader? and how he'd be when the baby was born? thank you

Johnny Knoxville Dating Pregnant Reader

A/N: I don’t know what I’m doing, but I hope you like this.

- He definitely throwed the most outrageous baby names out there.

- The name was probably something simple, and took away from the Clapp name.

- Definitely a pro at changing diapers.

- He took it easy while you were pregnant so he didn’t cause you any stress, was worried that you’d suffer a miscarriage if he got hurt or stressed you out.

- The guys are beyond excited for the baby.

- Pontius was probably the most excited, he got a little bunny costume for the baby too.

- Everybody wants to hold the baby all the time.

- They make sure not to be rough and crazy around the baby.

- If they are Johnny knocks their head in.

- He has kicked Steve-Os ass for that at least once.

- Johnny is there at your beckon call regardless, he held your hand the whole time while you were giving birth.

- He couldn’t even sleep for the first few nights after the baby was born, he was paranoid.

- Absolutely loves the baby more than the world.

- He didn’t even know that he wanted another kid until he had one with you.

- You’re like the love of his life.

- He’s more cautious now that he has a little baby; he doesn’t wanna get seriously injured or die because the baby needs him.

- Takes the baby everywhere

- Doesn’t drink as much because of the baby.