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daincrediblegg · 2 years ago

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okay your turn if nobody else has asked: TOP FIVE JH CHARACTERS GO

... girl... how does one choose? how does one??? when there are so many beautiful boys??? ok. OK I'll give it a shot.

5. Captain Crow - The Sea Beast This film is just incredible on every front. One of my favorite concept artists worked on it (which I did not know until a few weeks ago but now that I know I feel like kicking myself because I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEIR STYLE WELL ENOUGH BY NOW). But I remember watching this, and screaming when the credits began to roll because WAIT?!?!?! THAT WAS JARED HARRIS??? OH!!! WHAT A DELIGHT!!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!!! (oh babygirl wait a few months it's gonna hit you so bad). He's great. I hope we see more of him in the sequel that would be great for me.

4. Hari Seldon Honestly. What a little shit. "But Egg," you might ask "If he's such a little shit why is he on here?" well. He's hot. Really I am not over how hot this dude is. I know I couldn't fix him not in a million years. But idk. Something about him always makes my brain go brrr. So he's on here. Also I just love how fucking atypically written this show is and I have a wee soft spot for asimov. They didn't have to cast Jared as Hari and make him unbelievably hot. But they did. And he's so enigmatic. I love that.

3. John Lennon Egg's love for Jared Harris Origins. I was a Beatles girlie, ok? I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was my introductory fandom experience at the ripe old age of baby, and I really ate it up. I remember going into this movie being like "oh it's some dumb TV movie about John and Paul how good can it be?" Very good, as it turns out. And having assigned myself a John Lennon girlie I literally could never get over this depiction. The mannerisms, the fucking tripped-out way he philosophizes in conversation, the softness, and ofc the old friends tension. Jared got it all. Of course I'd seen him in stuff here and there, but this was the one that cemented him as a beloved actor in my mind for me (I literally re-wound the kiss scene as well like 20 times don't judge me but that awakened some stuff in me). Been following him ever since.

2. Lane Pryce - Mad Men This dude broke me for real. I didn't get into Mad Men until college, and binged it all on my friend's hulu account. And lemme tell ya. Did NOT see his final episode coming. Did not. And it made me genuinely weep. He was a highlight in the show. He was one of the only guys I could actually say is a good dude in that show, and he deserved so much better than he got in the end. I look at him and I'm just like... leave ur wife. Leave your job. Lets just go out of this capitalistic hellscape. I want to make him Well. I will love him forever for how he just completely destroyed me.

1.Francis Crozier / Valery Legasov - HA! you thought I was not going to tie them? WRONG! I can't keep these bad bitches apart.

Francis really needs no explanation at this point. I am so actually genuinely in love with him I'm writing a whole ass gothic romance novel of a fic for him, as you all know (and which has summarily turned out a BANGER of a modern AU as well). I made a bloody self-insert oc for him. Gothic Cinema is literally my favorite genre and Francis is the most Gothic Hero of all time, honestly (well besides Valery obviously). The serotonin he continually gives me makes my meds redundant. He is my sweet husband who I love with my whole life and that's that.

And Valery? sorry you can't put a babygirl of a man like that in front of me and not expect that I would want to jump his bones like? Not only is the constant existential dread relatable, but as much as people tell him he's not brave, he IS without a doubt, and honestly, just by virtue of uttering the most iconic logline ever fucking created he deserves this spot on this list. Both of these dudes make my soul ascend in a certain way not just with how brilliantly they were written, but with how incredibly Jared executed them (for which I want to kill the academy for not giving him awards on either). Top Beloveds forever and ever and ever amen.

#ask games #top 5 #jared harris #ofc there's a secret sixth one that only cherry knows about but it's ok y'all don't have to know #shout out to moriarty as well he was technically my first proper JH introduction before JL but #there wasn't room I'm so sorry y'all #I love him tho a lot wait I have regrets but I'm too tired to fix and debate with myself on this list anymore

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tommyspeakycap · 3 years ago

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Can you do a jealous John stones please 🥺🥺🖤

jealous stonesy coming right up! feel like john is the quick to get jealous type :) this gif does things to me

Black Tie Turbulence

John’s hand is both a constant and comforting presence on your lower back from the moment you both stepped out the car. He’s careful with his feet to not step on the bottom of your beautiful long dress that was matched in colour to that of his delicately placed pocket square.

“Aren’t you two a sight?”

John leads the turn so you can both face Kyle and Annie, also both dressed to the nines and offering each of you a glass of sparkling champagne. “The heels are already a killer,” you joke, making Annie giggle immediately. Heels were a must for almost all black ties, but more so when your boyfriend is an absolute giant.

It was a charity ball that a good few England and their players had been invited to, mostly in order to try and sweet talk the donors into giving more of their money than they originally would. You had gotten used to these events and liked to think you had actually gotten very good at sweetly chatting the vendors into emptying the metaphorical pockets. John wasn’t the world biggest fan of these events, but he knew they had to come hand in hand with the joy of doing what he loves each and every day. Plus, he gets to see you all dressed up. That’s good enough for him.

“I’m gonna go see if I can grab another drink.” You tell John, leaning up to press a chaste kiss into his jaw. He nods, eyes following you intently as you walk off with your heels clinking and dress swaying. “Earth to Stones.” Harry Kane waves, clicking his fingers to get the defenders attention. John shakes his head with a soft chuckle. “He’s fucking whipped, mate.” Kyle laughs heartily, eliciting similar laughter from Kane and his wife.

You stood up at the bar as the tuxedo glad bartender went off to collect your order for you when an older man appeared next to you. He too was looking to order a drink. “I hear the sambuca shots are exquisite this year.” You suggest with a teasing grin and a sparkle in your eyes, very successfully gathering the full attention of the silver fox who you had turned to face. He chuckles, eyes meeting yours as his tongue hits out to lick his lips. He was probably in his mid fifties, so you didn’t feel gross for a little bit of flirting to get some cash for a children’s charity.

“I’m just joking,” you note softly, “But the whiskey is fantastic.”

He nods, a smile overtaking his pink lips and stretching his face to fill a happy 60 years worth of laughter lines. He seemed truly sweet, not that you were at all interested. But he wasn’t sleezy, didn’t have a wedding ring in and looked a little younger than you knew he was. A little bit like Patrick Dempsey, actually. “A woman after my own heart.” He responds, flagging down the waiter for two whiskey’s.

As you got to talking, you learned he was a CEO. You had always been in awe of the kind of money that John had immediate access to in his bank account, what with you still paying off student loans and such until John took went behind your back and payed them off with an insistence that “his girl shouldn’t be worrying about anything ever.” But this man had even more money than that, you suspected. He just screamed out overpriced whiskey, fancy holidays, houses on every continent and boatloads of cars that you hadn’t even heard of. Yet, he seemed very sweet. You told him about some of the work you had gotten up to on a year abroad doing aid work during your second year of uni and he had been extremely curious about it, genuinely listening which shocked you significantly.

John would have said it was because the way that you spoke, completely captivatingly as you got lost in your own stories. You made people feel as though they were part of the adventure, drawing them in and leaving them hanging on every word. Most would claim that you were the only reason John still got invited to these black tie charity events because he certainly wasn’t so good at wooing older men out of their money.

“You’re definitely a whiskey lady, then.” You nod your head at the statement from the older man, a small laugh as you remove your hand from his arm that you had reached for when he made you ‘laugh’ with his last joke. “Mhm…well travelled, beautiful, very elegant and clearly incredibly loved.” You furrow your brows slightly his words, eyeing him carefully in search of their meaning. He leans in slightly, his eyes soft with a kind smile of his face. He nods his head behind you, “He’s been watching you since the moment I stepped up next to you.”

Your eyes land on John when you turn around, trying to look as though he wasn’t watching the interaction intently with those fiery blue eyes. You giggle to yourself with a soft sigh. “You made an old man feel incredibly young again,” he begins with genuine joy in his eyes. “You could change the world with that heart. It’s that reason and that reason only that I’ll be making such a hefty donation. None of this wining and dining, fancy ballroom party they’ve thrown. Passion,” he pauses, “Your kind of passion for better is what this is all about. But I reckon you best get back to the man who looks like he’s going to eat me alive.”

His words were touching and incredibly sweet, but the end was also true. You could hear your boyfriend’s footsteps approaching at a pace that might make you question his fifa rating from last year. You turn yourself back around to offer a thank you for the donation in your name, but all you see is that head of salt and pepper hair disappearing off into the crowd. John has suddenly remembered why he hates these things so much. You’re very clever at getting exactly what was needed from these men and you had no shame at all for flirting with them. If you had it, why not use it? You always said.

Despite knowing it meant nothing, it still sent John absolutely crazy and though you’d never admit it, that was one of the biggest reasons you did it. He used to bring you these things as his friend before you had started dating, which was very coincidentally where he burst and told you he loved you when you had asked what had irritated him so much afterwards.

His jealousy wasn’t something you exactly regarded as a demon, a little bit more of a treat.

Seeing him hot and bothered, angry flush to his cheeks with his jaw set firm and his muscles tense in irritation. It was beautifully hot.

“Flirting with older men again, eh?” He says sharply, his eyes burning a hole in you with the fire of their irritation. You shrug nonchalantly and take a sip of your drink. “Not a big deal,” you hum softly in response, watching carefully as anger flickers through his eyes. He turns his back to you with a scoff and a shake of his head, grumbling something under his breath.

“We’re going.” He states. You roll your eyes. “Oh don’t be like that, John.”

“Like what, eh?” He presses, still not turning to look at you.

“All angry and shit, it’s not a big dea-“

John isn’t having it. He whips around quickly, using his large body to press you back into the bar and takes the drink from your hand with ease when you still, enjoying a sip of it before he places it down on the bar, out of the way easily with those long arms. His hands come down to hold onto the dark mahogany surface of the bar top, trapping you with your back against it between his arms and your front against his chest. “Not a big deal?” He challenges, being careful to wedge his thigh in between your legs, he presses it up against you.

“It’s all for charity, John.”

Your face remains unchanged as you look into his eyes, darkened by lust with his pupils swallowing the blue of his iris.

“I don’t care,” he rumbles, his voice low, reverberating through your ear where he had loved his mouth to, his lips and hot breath tickling your neck with each word he speaks. You open your mouth to response, but John sees this and ceases the opportunity he has primed himself for so you can’t speak before he does. The words are lost on your tongue, dying before they ever have the chance to exist when he flexes the muscles of the thigh between your legs, tightening and pushing it up against you. He swallows your squeaky whimper with his mouth over yours.

“You’re mine.” He growls against your lips, continuing to make his presence between your legs known, very very known. He does pull back k slightly though, his darkened smirk flattering to a soft smile as he tilts his head to take in your rosy cheeks. “My sweet, kind girl.” He coos, lifting both his hands to cup your cheeks, thumbs smoothing over the soft surface. You giggle at his words, blush deepening. “Seriously though, love,” he hums, “Hate the action, love the cause.”

That prompts another giggle, your head falling to rest on his chest gently. His hands strokes over your hair softly as his lips press down on the top of your head.

“Not mad?” You query, listening in to the soft and slow thud of his heart against your cheek. John has moved you effortlessly to the ballroom dance floor from the bar with only a few backwards steps, letting you lean in against his chest again. “Little bit, of course.” He replies.

John has his arms wrapped tightly around your body to keep you flush against him in every way, swaying back and forth in time with the music.

To any onlookers, it would appear as normal, mundane and incredibly sweet to see the relatively young couple enjoying each other so close on one of his few nights off. Truly, it was adorable when you factored out the reason for the proximity John keeps to your body.

“John?” You lilt, your voice a daring misfire between sweet and sultry. “Mhm?” He rumbles in response, keeping his cheek rested on the top of your head. “Your hard-on is pressing into my stomach.” He chuckles to himself, your words too quiet for anyone else anywhere near to eavesdrop on but enough to flush his cheeks ever so slightly.

“And I would much rather it was in some far more pleasurable places.”

John does not need those words explained to him, nor does he waste even a moment leading you hastily off towards the exit of the ballroom, sure that he could find somewhere in this venue suitable enough to let everybody hear just who you belong to.

#john stones #john stones x reader #john stones imagine #john stones imagines #england national team #england national team imagine #footie fics #football fics #footballer fics

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no-reply95 · 3 years ago

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Jealous Guys

Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now is the different ways jealousy manifested for John and Paul over the course of their friendship.

I’m going to look at John and Paul in turn and have a look at some of the key ways jealousy appeared, before, during and after the Beatles period. This will be a looooong post so if you want to go on deep dive keep reading below.

John

Jealousy was something that John acknowledged as a big part of his personality, as far as I’m aware, he only acknowledged his jealousy publicly in terms of his relationship with Yoko but I believe jealousy was a feature of all of John’s major relationships. John’s first real partnership was with Pete Shotton, his childhood best friend, and Pete has outlined how John’s jealousy and possessiveness was a feature in their friendship with them falling out when Pete first started showing interest in girls and with John acting out when Pete started to spend more time with other friends, instead of him, here Pete recounts John’s reflection on this period of their friendship:

“Years later John confessed to having felt acutely jealous throughout that interlude: “I was scared shitless I’d lost you after our fight in science class, when you starting playing with David Jones. I really thought I’d gone too far with you that time.“

Pete Shotton, John Lennon: In My Life , 1983

Pete’s recollections establish a pattern in John’s life of acting out due to a fear of abandonment and losing those who are closest to him so it’s not surprising that once John had formed a strong bond with Paul that would stir similar fears in him.

Below I’ve categorised the groups of people that were the focus of John’s jealousy and have picked one person from each group as an example:

Family - Jim McCartney

Paul’s family was and continues to be a big part of his life. From the outset of their friendship, John was made aware of how important Jim was to Paul and vice versa. John and Paul had to skip school to hang out together because Jim wouldn’t have John in their house initially and John confessed his resentment of Jim’s influence over Paul’s life. It appears that after some time John grew tired of having to contend with Jim for the position of the most important person in Paul’s life, and this culminated in John giving Paul a pseudo ultimatum as John discussed in 1971:

“But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, "I need a steady career." We couldn't believe it… “So I told him on the phone, "Either come or you're out." So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Friends - Mal Evans

Throughout the active years of the band it was typical of them to refer to each other as their best friends and, given the lives they led, I think the simple fact that no one else could understand what it was like to be a Beatle would have meant they all shared a special bond. However, they all had friendships outside of the band and this was something that could cause issues for John when it came to Paul.

According to Tune In, Mal initially became friends with Paul during the band's initial shows at the Cavern Club then, after a suggestion from George, Mal became a part of the Beatles entourage thereafter. Mal had friendships with all the Beatles, as part of their inner circle, but from his comments it appears John took umbrage with the closeness of Mal’s friendship with Paul:

“Paul would suddenly come in with this circle saying, “This is Magical Mystery Tour, will you write that bit?” And I was choked that he’d arranged it all with Mal anyway, for a kickoff, and had all this idea going”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Mal also comes up when John discusses his recollections of the writing of Eleanor Rigby:

“So rather than ask me, “John, do these lyrics—” Because by that period, he didn’t want to say that – to me. Okay? So what he would say was, “Hey, you guys, finish off the lyrics,”... “ Now, I sat there with Mal Evans, a road manager who was a telephone installer, and Neil Aspinall, who was a not-completed student accountant who became our road manager. And I was insulted and hurt that he’d thrown it out in the air”...” There might be a version that they contributed, but there isn’t a line in there that they put in.“

Playboy interview, David Sheff 1980

John’s discomfort with the closeness of Paul’s relationship with Mal was something that wasn’t lost on Mal’s wife Lil:

“He was always at their beck and call. He was a nice fella to have around, so much so that it could provoke little jealousies within the band. When I met Yoko years after Mal died, she said John had told her he’d been very jealous at one point of Mal’s relationship with Paul.”

Lil Evans interview with Ray Connolly, 2005

Love interests - Linda McCartney

Throughout their friendship both John and Paul had quite a few love interests, which (to varying degrees) prompted jealousy between them.

Although John displayed jealousy of a few of Paul’s love interests this was no more apparent than with Paul’s first wife Linda McCartney, which is confirmed by both John’s words and actions regarding Linda and her partnership with Paul:

“"Then Klein informed Lennon that McCartney had secretly been increasing his stake in Northern Songs. ‘John flew into a rage,’ recalled Apple executive Peter Brown. ‘At one point I thought he was really going to hit Paul, but he managed to calm himself down.’ One unconfirmed report of this meeting had Lennon leaping towards Linda McCartney, his fists raised in her face"

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money

"Int: When did you first meet her [Linda]? John: The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

“I was reading your letter and wondering what middle aged cranky Beatle fan wrote it... "What the hell—it’s Linda! . . . Linda— if you don’t care what I say—shut up!—let Paul write—or whatever.”

"Of course, the money angle is important—to all of us—especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in laws—and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL—see you in two years—I reckon you’ll be out then"

Draft letter from John Lennon to Linda McCartney, circa 1971

"The presumption is a) the Beatles would get together again or are even thinking about it and b) if they got together, John and Yoko split, Paul and Linda split"

John (with Yoko) talks to John Fielding on Weekend World, 1973

"John often speculated on why Paul and Linda remained married while, at the same time, resenting their evident happiness, to the extent that he had Green do a tarot reading to ensure him that Paul and Linda were really secretly miserable and were going to divorce within a year"

According to Fred Seaman and John Green, source

Paul

Of course jealousy wasn't a one-way street in the Lennon-McCartney relationship. Unlike with John, for Paul I'm focusing more on the key people I believe his jealousy, regarding John, was directed to:

Stuart Sutcliffe

John met Stu at Art College and struck up a really close friendship with him. At the point that John met Stu, John had already become friends with Paul so Paul felt threatened when Stu entered the picture:

"When he [Stu] came into the band, around Christmas of 1959, we were a little jealous of him; it was something I didn’t deal with very well. We were always slightly jealous of John’s other friendships.

When Stuart came in, it felt as if he was taking the position away from George and me. We had to take a bit of a back seat."

Paul McCartney, Anthology 2000

"Paul was saying something about Stu’s girl – he was jealous because she was a great girl, and Stu hit him, on stage. And Stu wasn’t a violent guy at all."

John Lennon, 1967 Anthology 2000

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I’d believe him. We were awful to him sometimes. Especially Paul, always picking on him. I used to explain afterwards that we didn’t dislike him, really."

John Lennon, The Beatles Hunter Davies 1968

Yoko Ono

Of all the relationships I've already discussed, the relationship and jealousy displayed from Paul towards Yoko is probably the most widely discussed in Beatles historiography and general discourse. From the official start of Yoko's relationship with John in 1968 it was clear that Paul resented her presence in John's life and her proximity to the band:

"He even sent them [John and Yoko] a hate letter once, unsigned, typed. I brought it in with the morning mail. Paul put most of his fan mail in a big basket and let it sit for weeks, but John and Yoko opened every piece. When they got to the anonymous note, they looked puzzled, looking at each other with genuine pain in their eyes. ‘You and your Jap tart think you’re hot shit’, it said."

Francie Schwartz, Body Count 1972

"Cause she’s [Yoko] very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes."

Paul McCartney, Let It Be Sessions, 1969

"I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It’s taken me a year to realise that they were in love. Just like Linda and me."

Paul McCartney, interview with Ray Connolly, 1970

What are the similarities and differences in the way jealousy manifested for John and Paul?

I think it's obvious but bears repeating that both John and Paul displayed jealousy towards other people who they felt would threaten their relationship so that's central to all the instances I have flagged, Jim, Mal, Linda, Stu, Yoko all posed real or imagined threats to John and Paul's partnership.

However, you'll note that I included more sources to display John's jealousy regarding Paul and that I categorised John's jealousy targets whereas I only pulled out two key individuals for Paul, this isn't to say that John was more jealous than Paul was, as jealousy isn't something you can quantify, but to highlight my opinion that Paul's jealousy regarding John was more targeted than John's jealousy regarding Paul. I think what stands out to me is that, I think generally Stu and Yoko are held up as the prime examples of Paul's jealousy of other people getting close to John, as far as we know, Paul never had significant issues with other people who formed close relationships with John like Pete Shotton, Cynthia Lennon, Magic Alex etc., why was that? I think that Paul was more threatened when he felt that John was replacing him so by bringing Stu into the band (even though he wasn't a musician) and Yoko into the studio (one instance where Paul was especially hurt was when John gave Paul's line in The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill to Yoko to sing), Paul perhaps felt that his place as John's primary collaborator was in jeopardy and that he could lose a partnership that had become central to his self-worth as a person - that, I believe, was when his jealousy was most likely to rise to the fore. John, on the other hand, had a much wider range of targets when it came to jealousy regarding Paul, why was John jealous of Linda? Linda wasn't trying to replace John as Paul's collaborator, if anything she wanted the Lennon-McCartney partnership to be stronger. Why was John jealous of Mal? Mal wasn't a musician, Mal was a huge fan of the band and constantly worked to fulfil their requests, so why was John so threatened by his friendship with Paul? For me, John's jealousy regarding Paul was more than just a fear of directly being replaced, I believe John's jealousy was fundamentally triggered by a fear of abandonment. I think the childhood trauma John experienced, of being left by both his parents, meant that whenever any of his close friendships and relationships were threatened, or he felt that someone close to him may leave him, he would act out. John fell out with his childhood best friend Pete when he got a girlfriend, John hit Cynthia when he saw her dancing with Stu, John was rude to several of Paul's love interests and ultimately John never fully accepted Paul's relationship with Linda because, although he could see that she could offer Paul the family life he always wanted, John didn't want Linda to take Paul away and give him a family that meant that Paul would no longer be able to prioritise John in his life as he had in the past.

Ultimately, we'll never know all the ways that jealousy factored into John and Paul's relationship with each other and those around them, as I'm sure it impacted several relationships in more complex ways than I can articulate (i.e. I suspect jealousy played a part in Paul's initial resentment of Brian but they grew closer over time so maybe Paul's jealousy lessened over time or Brian became less of a threat?). I do think it's important to consider that jealousy was present on both sides and was likely a factor in the breakdown of John and Paul's relationship, the breakdown of the Beatles and was a continued factor in disrupting reconciliations between John and Paul into the 70s and 1980.

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #paul and linda #john and yoko #jealous guy #linda mccartney #yoko ono #stuart sutcliffe #mal evans #jim mccartney #brian epstein #long post #thoughts

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pub-lius · 3 years ago

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A Debunking and, in my Humble Opinion, Superior Version of Weird History’s “Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton”

I haven’t updated my blog in quite some time, and that is due to my schedule being primarily dominated by school. So, I decided my first step into posting semi-regularly once more shall be a more casual, more fun endeavor.

If you have not heard of the Weird History youtube channel, good for you. It is yet another social media platform that misconstrues history to appeal to the public’s enjoyment of extremes and strangeness. I saw The Historical Fashion Queens make a video responding to their highly misinformed documentary on corsetry on Miss Abby Cox’s youtube channel, which I highly recommend. This intrigued me, and I decided to find a video I could dissect off my expertise, at first only for fun in my own time. This resulted in the production in a very long bullet list in the notes app of my phone. So here is my informal destruction of this godforsaken video.

Disclaimer: I am not at all excusing any of the awful things Alexander Hamilton did during his lifetime. I am absolutely the last person who would even come near to claiming that many of the things he did were justifiable in the slightest. Although, he might be the only historical figure which I have a very strong interest in the life of, as he was incredibly complex, and the part of me with a love of psychology finds him absolutely fascinating. There is also something to be said about the way we consider moral standards of historical figures. We are quite lucky to believe in the time that we do, and not all of our standards can apply to historical figures. This does not mean they should not be held accountable. I find that a way to criticize people while also praising them where it is due is by judging them based upon their intentions. In my opinion, Hamilton’s intentions were not to harm anyone in most situations, so I don’t think he was a terrible person, nor do I think he was a particularly good one. Then again, I don’t think either of those things about a mass majority of people, so let us proceed without further delay. (Note: I will also be referring to the collective Weird History channel as the Narrator to avoid any mental gymnastics, and all of my knowledge is coming from my memory of Hamilton’s writing and some biographies.)

Automatically, the video starts with mention of the musical, but that just reminds me that many use Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton as a basis of their statements about him without utilizing much critical thinking, so I am slightly nervous.

The Narrator then refers to Hammy Ham man as “...one of America’s most undervalued founding fathers...” Now, it is debatable whether or not Mr. Hamilton is undervalued per se, but when it comes to the founding fathers, they are usually undervalued or overvalued. At this point, Hamilton is both.

I shall not subscribe, thank you for the offer though, Mr. Narrator.

Now for the first fact: “Historians don’t know when Hamilton was born.” Yes, this is correct, but I don’t believe this should be labeled as “hardcore”, but perhaps that is just me. One early document indicates that Hamilton was born in 1755, while all later ones point to 1757 as his year of birth. We know Hamilton was not always a completely honest man, so it is possible that he lied.

Also, they show an image of a baby, and I do not know if this is actually Hamilton, but they use a lot of strange imagery, which I found humorous.

“A self-made man born out of wedlock.” Now, this fact could indeed be “hardcore”, if this was not colonial America we are discussing. Hamilton actually wasn’t really special in this regard. Yes, his rise to fame was impressive considering his circumstances, but this wasn’t unheard of.

The Narrator then says that Hamilton’s mother, Rachel Faucette, was “estranged from her husband.” This caused me some confusion as it is a vast understatement. Her ex-husband was absolutely awful to her.

Additionally, they claim that James Hamilton left his family behind for some reason that I did not write in my notes, but the most likely reason that he actually left was because of his awesome debt. James Hamilton also had a history of ambitious pursuits for money, so it would not be extreme to claim that he moved to another island to attempt to make a fortune in some trading endeavor.

They also cease to mention the Stevens family, who housed young Alexander while he was working for Beekman and Cruger, and had a great influence on him, but I digress.

“A college dropout who joined the Revolution.” Once again, this isn’t special. Many rowdy young Whigs left behind their careers and educations for pursuit of military fame in the Continental Army. They also do not mention anything of Hamilton’s expansive military career, which aside from being indicative of primitive research, but would produce more “hardcore facts.”

Although, they do discuss his application to Princeton college, which is interesting enough I suppose, although everyone who has heard the first two songs of the musical knows this story. His proposal for an “accelerated course of study” was likely inspired by Aaron Burr, as claimed by Chernow and Miranda, or James Madison, as supported by evidence provided by author Noah Feldman in his novel, The Three Lives of James Madison, which is an excellent read. Young Madison, having already completed a course, decided to do so again, but compacting a usually three year course into a shorter period of time. He hardly slept during this period, which was stressful upon his health, making Princeton more disinclined to allow a similar course to be taken.

The Narrator then claims that Hamilton “formed his own militia of 25 men.” Technically, yes? But not exactly. Hamilton joined a paramilitary group called the Hearts of Oak, and they drilled in Trinity Churchyard. This became ironic later. He then became a captain in the New York Artillery Company, and enlisted his own men, which was at one time around thirty or so, if my memory serves me correctly.

“Founded a bank that existed for over two centuries.” Ah, yes, a very hardcore fact indeed. Yes, Hamilton did establish the Bank of America, but Robert Morris was the one who inspired him to do so. Though, I do think the financial plan is a product of his own genius, but I will get into that much later.

I got an ad. :(

The Narrator also says that the misfortunes done to the New York shipping industry by the Articles of Confederation were the most prominent, if not sole, motivation for Hamilton to concoct his financial plan. He first recognized the need for a sound financial plan when he was in the army. You know, when he was watching men die of inadequate supplies because the government couldn’t tax the states.

This video, like Chernow’s biography and Miranda’s musical, claims that Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were friends when, in actuality, they weren’t really. Yes, they knew each other, and they didn’t hate each other until the end of Hamilton’s life, but they really didn’t think about each other much before the Election of 1800.

“Hamilton authored over half of the Federalist Papers.” Indeed, he did! I enjoy this fact. It isn’t very “hardcore” but it is very impressive. The Federalist Papers were arguably Hamilton’s greatest accomplishment, as he organized the entire thing and, as previously stated, authored much of them. I very much enjoy the Federalist Papers, as they give some insight as to Hamilton’s political and philosophical theories, as well as how he thought of the world. It makes for an interesting read if you have something you’re looking for.

Now, this may be a hot take, but Madison’s essays are by far more effective, as they were better organized. Hamilton and I share a common flaw, and that is the lack of brevity.

“Involved in America’s first sex scandal.” Yes, we all know. I’ll get into the Reynold’s affair later because it’s its own beast to conquer. Basically what you need to understand information I shall provide later in this post is that James Reynolds extorted money from Hamilton, and if Hamilton failed to pay, Reynolds would expose the affair Hamilton was having with his wife, Maria. Hamilton paid, but when Reynolds was arrested for something else, he exposed Hamilton anyway.

“He worked with Aaron Burr to defend a man.” Once again, this isn’t very surprising. They were both capable lawyers in the same area, so it was basically inevitable. Though there was this one instance where Hamilton and Burr were working on a case together and Hamilton, being himself, insisted upon having the last word. Well, Burr was tired of him, and I can’t say I blame him, so he made every possible argument in his finishing speech, leaving Hamilton with virtually nothing.

The Narrator also mentions Hamilton’s opposition to slavery, but he didn’t really outwardly oppose it as much as you would think listening to the musical or reading Chernow’s biography. Far from being the “fervent abolitionist” Chernow and Miranda glorify, Hamilton didn’t really do much for the enslaved. He helped John Laurens in his Black Plan and joined the Manumission Society, but other than that, he never made any attempt to progress the abolition of slavery. He also “purchased” slaves for his in-laws, and some argue that he “owned” some himself, but there is no contemporary evidence to support this that I have seen. The enslaved and servants that were in his household likely belonged to his wife.

“Founded a newspaper that still exists.” Ok.

“Died by duel.” I swear, this fact is by far the most unnecessary. They mention the duel so many times that it is already redundant. I completely skipped over this part, and the video ended, so I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

Well, seeing as this post is already longer than my attention span, I shall save you the pains of having to read any more in just one post. I shall make a follow-up to this where I give my own facts, which I believe are far more hardcore than “he founded a newspaper.” I hope you have enjoyed and this isn’t too terribly boring. I hope to get back to posting soon.

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stusbunker · 4 years ago

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Hunters’ Crossing: Moving In

A Kinky Swingin’ Supernatural AU

Featuring: Dean Winchester x Wife!Reader

Written for: @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 3535

Square Filled: Teasing

Summary: Dean and you work on moving into your new house. Which just happens to be Sam and Rowena’s old place. A neighbor stops by while Dean is out, welcoming you to the cul-de-sac. As the day goes on, you enjoy distracting your husband until he has had enough.

Warnings: 18yo+, shower sex, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, fingering, anal sex, analingus, dirty talk, just happy couple smut.

Pre-read by @cracksinthewalls & @thoughtslikeaminefield (who also made the awesome header).

Dean had been up and itching to get the show on the road for over an hour. The only things left unboxed in the two bedroom ranch, you had been renting since moving back to town, was the mattress, bedframe and a change of clothes. As of sometime after midnight, Dean and you were packed and ready to go. Unfortunately for your husband, you were still sound asleep.

He started pacing, or what sounded like pacing from your exhausted face-down state. It turned out he had started moving the boxes from your room to the driveway.

Dean wasn’t being loud, but it was really fucking early for that.

You crawled out of bed just after eight, shrugged into the old top and leggings you had left out the night before, and prayed he had gotten coffee.

“And she’s up,” Dean snapped his fingers in excitement. You grumbled your good morning, but snuggled into his side as he dialed Benny, his lead mechanic and the guy who was bringing the trailer. You nursed your coffee (with all the right fixings) as Dean finished his call.

“Can you believe where we’re gonna be livin’?” Dean kissed your temple, then looked down at you like a kid on the way to Disneyland.

“Uh, yeah, so can the bank account. You’re lucky you’re so cute and Sam’s lucky you have a soft spot for him,” you finished on a mumble.

“You love that house, don’t be like that,” Dean tisked at you.

“I do! I do. It’s just, I could have slept for like four more hours,” you whined. “Thank you for my coffee.”

Dean rolled his eyes at you, but you could tell he was pleased he had done good. You left a quick kiss on his jaw before he walked away to start hauling more things outside.

Barely ten minutes had passed when Benny and Bobby sauntered up the walkway. Before you had even metabolized the caffeine, the first trip was underway.

Hunter’s Crossing was the last cul-de-sac at the end of Lawrence Lane. Which ran the length of the development known as the Ethereal Estates. The four bedroom, three bathroom McMansion that you and Dean had purchased from his younger brother Sam was on the northern corner, facing south. Dean pulled the Impala into the garage with Benny and Bobby with the truck and trailer filling the driveway right behind you.

As you climbed from the passenger’s seat, Benny let out an impressed whistle.

“Damn, Boss, you’ve gone full country club on us,” the large man drawled.

“Can it, nimrod, or you’ll give him an even bigger head,” Bobby warned. Benny and you both laughed.

“You done? Cuz, last time I checked you can walk and talk,” Dean snipped, only half-heartedly. Bobby gave you a gentle smile as you shivered against the early spring air. You all fell in line behind Dean and awaited your assignments.

Two hours into hauling furniture, Garth showed up to give a hand. Unlike Bobby and Benny, who worked directly for Dean at Winchester & Son’s garage, Garth, a long time friend, was an accountant who helped Dean learn the books when John retired. His wife Bess was the kindest person you had ever met.

You were settled into organizing mode when the guys left to pick up the last round of boxes. Then, the doorbell rang.

A man stood on the front porch, draped against the doorframe like he had known you for years, tucked into a fitted black suit paired with the softest looking tee shirt you had ever seen. His mischievous eyes crinkled above a flirtatious smirk as he introduced himself.

“Baz, hi, I’m at the center of the loop. Welcome to the neighborhood, wish it were over better circumstances, but happy to keep it in the family, as it were,” he rolled off before you could even reply. He must be in sales, you thought.

“Hi,” you gave him your name, finding it easy to smile under his charms.

“You're the sister-in-law? So where’s brother dearest?” He teased in a tonal accent.

“Oh you know, sent him to do the heavy lifting. They’ll be back before long.” You stood up straighter.

“Right, well, we’re having a dinner party next week. It’s kind of a regular thing, we take turns hosting, and my wife’ll kill me if I don’t pass on the invite. Friday at seven? We have cocktails, and get gussied up for one another,” he mentioned passively, but you caught the drift. It wasn’t a backyard barbecue. “It’s all a bit pretentious if you ask me-- Well, who am I kidding, right?”

You couldn’t help but giggle a bit at his expense. “It sounds great--- Bash?”

“Baz,” his voice sizzled along the last letter.

“Baz, sorry. Uh, I’ll have to check with Dean, but I don’t think we have anything going on.” You gave him your best customer smile.

“How about I’ll just pop back when you’re better settled? I didn’t mean to pressure you, love,” Baz waved as he backed off the porch.

“You’re fine, really,” you apologized. “It’s just the first day, a lot to sort out.”

“Of course! Take your time. Right, well, I’ll be seeing you, ta ta,” Baz waved with a tight lipped grin.

You closed the door and exhaled. That was more than you had heard from your neighbors in the three years you had lived at your last place. It was kind of exciting getting an invitation on the first day, now if you could just convince your husband to go. But Dean didn’t really get ‘gussied up’ for much.

Dean found you in the kitchen, kneeling on the counters as you sorted the plates. There was so much space, everything was able to get its own shelf. You heard him start the tap, just out of your line of sight. Quickly, you sensed his amusement as you continued to stack and place the piles by size.

“Don’t laugh at me, it’s easier this way,” you said without looking at him. When he didn’t reply, you grew curious to what he was up to, slowly you turned around to find him leaning against the island which held the double sink, eyes firmly on your ass. You sighed, but leered back at him, down to just his t-shirt after the last of your belongings had been unloaded. He wiped his wet lips with the hem of his shirt, flashing the sweaty plane of his abs at you.

“Don’t mind me, carry on,” Dean sassed, waving you back to the task at hand.

It was your turn to roll your eyes, pushing off the counter with an exaggerated arched back. You broke down the box and moved onto the next, knowing Dean was enjoying his water break more than he should.

“Why don’t you call for pizza? Get the guys fed for all their help,” you suggested as you climbed back up to stock another set of cabinets, this time with glassware.

Dean nodded before he finished off the last of his water. As he scrolled through his phone for a number, you remembered your visitor.

“Babe? You got anything going on on Friday?” You watched him think.

“No, why?” Dean didn’t look up, brow scrunched in concentration.

“We were invited to the neighbors’ for a dinner party,” you sing-songed the last words, emphasizing the level of chic.

“What neighbors?” Dean paused.

“The ones in the big house in the middle. Baz, was his name. Said they do it a lot and take turns hosting,” you shrugged. “Could be fun. It was nice to be welcomed to the neighborhood.”

“How long was this guy here?” Dean’s face froze in suspicion.

“He just stopped by!” You chuckled aghast, but you couldn’t hide the blush Dean’s interrogation had brought back.

“So, what, he just conveniently shows up to check out the hot new neighbor when he saw us leave?” Dean shook his head and stood straight, squaring off. “I don’t know, sounds like a creepy thing to do.”

“Shut up, he’s married! He said his wife would kill him if he didn’t extend the invitation. Calm down, would ya?” You hopped down to face him. Dean grumbled and went back to his phone. “Hey?”

“What?” Dean huffed.

“I love you.” You placed your chin on his shoulder as he got over his temporary pouting.

“Yeah?” Dean cocked an eyebrow, and smirked at you.

“Yep.” You popped the p.

“You want the usual?” Dean put his phone to the opposite ear.

“Please?” You grinned, as he settled against the sink once more.

His fingertips swatted the curve of your hip as you walked away.

You had left an entire room for the empty boxes. Without enough furniture to fill the space and after Sam and Rowena sold off half of theirs to cover the costs of the divorce, it was easy to let the cardboard pile up as the day went on. As you waited for lunch to arrive, you trudged through the living room to drop off another few flattened boxes.

Dean asked Benny and Garth to reassemble your bed and the guest bed upstairs, while he and Bobby organized tools and lawn equipment in the garage. You could see Dean and the older man talking through the window in the study, or the current box depot. Your husband had a fantastic profile and you took a few moments to appreciate it.

Slowly you tore yourself from your reverie and started to break down the remaining intact boxes. You quickly grew overheated and bent over to crack the window. You caught Dean’s eye as you wrenched the stiff windowpane up. He was watching you from the tops of his eyes, mouth open as his tongue played with his top teeth.

He always had such a sinful mouth.

The glint of chrome flashed from his window up to yours, the wrenches he was lining up nearly forgotten as you ducked your head out the window, strategically pinning your breasts between your folded arms. He was not shy about taking in the show, his eyes grew dangerous with want.

There was a sudden pounding on the front door. Just as quickly as you draped yourself out the window, you rocked back and away from Dean’s hungry glare.

The beer bottle was cold against your lips as you let the tangy liquid wash down the mouthful of pizza you had practically inhaled. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the smell wafted in from off the porch. Best pizza around and you were finally in the delivery radius, suburbia already had its perks.

“Save some for us, darlin’,” Benny teased, as he cracked off the top to his bottle.

"Hey, I'm not the one driving anywhere, you get your one, the rest are mine," you sassed back.

You took another sip, locking eyes with your husband across the table. He licked his lips before taking a generous swallow of beer. A familiar heat sizzled in his eyes.

"Good to know who's really in charge," Bobby nudged Garth to hand him his beer, which Garth passed on.

"I don't want to get drunk," the skinny man reasoned.

"Yeah, and I don't want to have to call Bess to pick you up," Dean agreed and took the offered beer from Bobby, though his was nearly full.

"Somebody's ready to celebrate," Bobby teased.

"They're ready for something," Benny taunted. "A little horizontal mambo seems to be in the cards."

"It has been a long day, a little might be all he's got left," Bobby agreed.

You almost spit out your beer as you giggled with their banter. Dean chugged his beer and rolled his shoulders.

"Mind your business, or I'll have you work late every Friday until I'm sick of looking at ya," Dean said after a faint belch.

"Yes, sir," Benny nodded, smirking at you with a little wink. You shook your head and sighed. The food quickly disappeared alongside the beer, leaving you all stuffed and lethargic. You rolled your shoulders and followed the guys out through the garage. Dean shook hands goodbye while you leaned against the double wide door frame, smiling and waving. You were grateful for all they had done to get you settled in.

“Have a good weekend, boys!” you called, watching them climb into the truck. Dean sauntered back to your side, sweat stained shirt rumpled, hair askew, and handsome as ever.

“Ready to go break in that fancy shower?” he asked, fingertip dragging your hair from your pulse point. A devilish chill ran down your spine, you couldn’t help but shiver from his touch.

“I am beat, Hot Stuff,” you lamented. “A shower does sound amazing though.”

“Let’s get you naked, then we’ll see who’s beat,” Dean punned horribly.

You groaned and then gave him a meager chuckle. “Do you even hear yourself sometimes?”

“I’m fucking hilarious, it’s one of the reasons you married me,” Dean insisted, leading you back into the house by the small of your back. You stomped through the mudroom and passed the kitchen to the stairs, every step up felt like you had concrete bricks for feet.

“No rush or anything,” Dean teased, hands firmly on your hips, always so supportive.

“Why did we buy a two story house?”! You fell dramatically forward, slumped on the landing, with your legs and arms askew like limp noodles. “Can I just nap here first? It’s so far!”

Dean stood two steps behind you, hands on his hips and bitch face on. “Really?”

You rolled to your back, knees bent and propped yourself up on your elbows, as if it was the hardest thing in the world. Starring up at his annoyed face, you got creative.

“Please? Just take a little break with me?” You opened your legs suggestively, seeing his eyes rake over your body before he rolled them in mock annoyance.

“Five minutes, then I’m getting clean, with or without you,” Dean warned. He fell into the cradle of your thighs, his chest was flush with your heat, as his face burrowed into your cleavage. His arms snaked around your shoulders, holding you up to him like a pillow. It would have been uncomfortable, if he didn’t feel so damn good squishing you into the plush carpet.

Every inch he touched burned through your clothing, the radiant heat of his body oozing into your tired muscles, turning your blood into molten sludge, pooling at your core. Dean hummed and shifted above you, the tip of his nose teasing a nipple.

“I can’t wait to fuck you in every room of this house,” Dean murmured, voice husky and full of promise. “Gonna make you scream my name until there is no doubt every inch of this place belongs to me.”

“To us,” you replied, pulling his face up to look at your lust blown eyes.

“Just you and me,” Dean agreed, kissing a clothed tit, and then the next. He slid up on his toes until his hard edges crooked against your welcoming curves. Then he kissed you blind.

You twisted your hands into his hair and the back of his shirt, clinging to him as he sucked every memory of exhaustion from your mind. The satisfaction of a day’s work done and the hope of new beginnings flooded into your already happy existence, filling you with a blissed out giddiness as Dean began to grind his hips against you. You gasped, breaking the kiss, before dragging his shirt over his head.

He leaned back and placed a swift kiss on your lips. “Five minutes are up.”

You groaned in dismay as Dean untangled himself from your limbs and climbed the last six steps to the second floor.

“You coming or what?” He barked at you, belt already flapping open, erection poking his shorts out of his fly.

Dean usually hated shower sex, too many slippery surfaces and not a lot of space to get things done. But now that you had a walk in shower stall, custom-made for his giant brother, Dean had become an enthusiast.

What started on the stairs, led to him staying dressed on the bottom half until you were completely bare. Then he started the water, letting it get as close to boiling as he could stand and how he knew you liked it. He escorted you under the massive showerhead and pulled back your hair, letting the water soak every inch of your skin.

He wouldn’t let you touch him.

Then he started to scrub, louva sudsy and soothing over your shoulders, under your arms, around your breasts, leaving the parts that needed him most tight and wanting. Once you were as clean as he was going to let you get, Dean brought out the shampoo, letting you finish, not trusting himself to be gentle enough with your tresses.

It took him less than five seconds to finally get naked.

Once your hands reached above your head, Dean started his attack. He lapped one nipple into his hungry mouth as you groaned. Dean watched you the entire time as he mouthed your tits, wanting to push you to the edge as many times as he could get away with.

Fucking tease.

Then he moved between your legs, and the way he left parts of you unwashed all made sense. Because he wanted to taste you, not your floral body wash. He fell to his knees and hooked a thigh over his shoulder, leaving rough kisses on each thigh. Back and forth he went until you were dizzy and whimpering. He rinsed his hands and licked his finger tips for good measure, watching you wait for him to get on with it.

Then he began to stroke your folds. Ever so carefully, he pulled you open, cherishing the way you quaked for him. Your wetness only aiding in the tortuously slow glide of his fingers, front to back, back to front. After more breaths than you could keep track of, Dean pressed into you, two calloused fingers as deep as they could go.

You grasped his neck, desperate to hold on, because as soon as he would, you needed Dean’s tongue on your throbbing clit.

“Whoa--- everything alright up there?” Dean said with laughter in his voice.

“God, fuck, Dean,” you begged.

“Yeah?”

“Please, stud, I need you,” you panted, nails digging into his back.

“Might want to think about how you were acting all day then. Climbing around like a jungle cat. Practically flashing me and Bobby in the garage. Flirting with the neighbors,” Dean tisked at you. “I’m just giving you what you gave me.”

Then he shut up and put out. That sinful mouth decadently pulled and puckered every inch of flesh, until you were screaming over the torrent of the shower. Once his tongue joined his fingers, you were gone. Liquid heat squeezed out of you as your body shuddered out the aftermath, thanking his skillful digits for their efforts.

At long last, you were bent in half, hands braced against the intricate tile as he speared into you from behind. Your body fighting to keep the water out, which only pushed Dean to thrust harder against the unrelenting tightness. Your legs were going to give out soon, it was all too much, the warmth of the shower and the way, even on your tiptoes, Dean had to crouch with his bowed legs to hit your sweet spot with every single stroke.

When he smacked your ass, you faltered, elbows bending and falling forward. He caught you, slowly easing out of your abused cunt, until you were back on steady feet. You turned to kiss his pink lips, still heady with your juices. Carefully Dean reached behind you to turn off the water, brushing his chest against yours. You reached up and pinched his nipple. In return, he let his hand drop down to cup your mound, tapping a gentle rhythm across your slit.

“Ready for that nap, now?” He offered, kissing your temple.

“Definitely.

You spent the rest of the weekend unpacking and screwing, just like Dean wanted: in every room of the house.

He ate you out as a pre-breakfast in bed, first thing Sunday morning, slow and dirty. The noises that came from his plush lips made you writhe just as much as the work his tongue put in. You sucked him off while he made you a proper meal, but only during the prep work as bacon spatter is nothing to toy with.

You rode him while he tried to watch opening week baseball highlights in your new living room, your bare legs deliciously smooth against the leather of the couch. He took your ass after he watched you doing laundry, bending down to pull the hot towels out of the dryer was too much for him. So, he dragged you up stairs to a spare bedroom, licked you clean and then worked you twice over before slamming home and filling you filthy.

Moving was the best idea you’d ever had. You loved the house and couldn’t wait to get to know your neighbors. Life was good, you just didn’t realize it could get even better.

Tagging: @dolphincliffs @fangirlxwritesx67 @foxyjwls007 @akshi8278 @dontshootmespence @smi727 @ericaprice2008 @deandreamernp @mrswhozeewhatsis @itmighthavebeenintentional

Let me know what you think?

Series Masterlist

2020 Kink Bingo Masterlist

#hunters' crossing #spnkinkbingo #dean winchester smut #dean/reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester au #spn au series #spn smut

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pikaflute · 4 years ago

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hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym.

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you.

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him. he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

#metalocalypse #charles foster offdensen

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pcttrailsidereader · 3 years ago

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Tehachapi to Lone Pine: Hell Comes in October -- Part 1

By Dave Baugher

Dave is nearing the end of his MYTH, as he refers to it (Multi-Year Thru Hike). He completed the southern half of Washington State this year ending at Snoqualmie Pass. This story is from a hike he took in autumn of 2015. As he notes, it is in crisis that we learn the most about ourselves (and the trail).

This is a two-part account. You will have to wait until Monday to read the rest of the story.

Figuring I did not get enough of the Pacific Crest Trail in the spring of 2015, I asked my wife Luann if I could go back on the trail that fall. According to my copy of Gray's Anatomy, the human head weighs between 8-12 pounds. The variance is probably due to the absence of common sense, at least in my case. Brutal? Yes, on that September trip, I discovered several valuable lessons about the trail and myself. Especially learning there are Trail Angels always looking over you. It was a tough trip, to say the least. Let me tell you about it.

Pack loaded, Luann drove me to Modesto, CA, where I boarded an afternoon southbound train to Bakersfield. After a warm kiss goodbye, Luann returned home, and I headed south. Amtrak runs down the sun-drenched eastern side of the San Joaquin Valley in California. The train sped past emerald green fields of alfalfa, endless almond orchards, and golden waves of dry autumn grasses. This was the section where Theodore Solomon first looked at the Sierras and thought about a concept: "The idea of a crest parallel trail through the high sierra came to me one day while herding my Uncle's cattle in an immense unfenced field of alfalfa field near Fresno," he reflected in the Sierra Club Bulletin in 1940. That idea became what we know today as the John Muir Trail, an essential part of the Pacific Crest Trail.

Earlier that spring, I had hiked solo from Idyllwild to the PCT crossing at Cameron Road and Highway 58, between the California cities of Techappi and Mohave. Ending my 400-mile hike at the highway overpass, I called Kern County transit. The passing bus picked me up and dropped me off right at the Bakersfield Amtrak Station for my return home.

Contemplating the JMT, PCT, my spring hike, and Mr. Solomon's notions, the arrival at Bakersfield swiftly arrived. I departed the train and walked out of the train station to the local car rental office, where I had reserved an SUV for the final leg of the trip to Techappai. I would spend the remainder of my day preparing to return to the Pacific Crest Trail the following morning.

Speeding down Highway 58, a short hour's drive took me to the town of Tehachapi, where I rented a room and unloaded my gear. Then to Walmart, where I purchased gallons of water and some snacks. Car loaded, music playing, I headed out into the hot California afternoon, driving to pre-determined locations along the PCT to cache water. I spent the day hiding the jugs along a 70 mile stretch of the PCT, where the trail crossed near local roadways.

With my trail preparation chores done, I returned to the hotel and called it a night. Tomorrow would be my first day back on the dusty trail, the heat outside was omnipresent, yet I was excited to return.

I woke up to a bright clear day greeting me on that September morning; it was one of those sun-stricken Pacific Crest Trail days that you get in September, and I was ready to go! I returned the car, walked back to my hotel, enjoyed a last cool shower, and checked out of my room. Then, pack on my back, I walked to the bus stop a few blocks away from my motel. Where the Kern County transit was right on time, magically appearing along the roadway. Just like a time machine, the bus was rolling away in a cloud of dust, and I was right back where I stopped last spring at Hwy 58 and Cameron Road.

The Pacific Crest Trail crosses the highway via the Cameron Road overpass then parallels the highway eastwards for a few miles before turning northwards into the "Wild." So I stood was the infamous starting point where Cheryl Strayed, author of the book "Wild" began her journey northwards in 1999.

Cheryl chronicled her 900-mile trip along sections of the Pacific Crest Trail. At the age of twenty-two, she thought she had lost everything, her mother's passing, the family scattered, and a defunct marriage. So she made an impulsive decision with nothing more to lose: To hike the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington. But, having no experience as a long-distance hiker, she had a tough time on the hike.

My trip did not start as Cheryl's, as my start was hot, dry, and I started hiking late that sun-baked morning. After leaving the highway, the path immediately began gaining altitude. Still, it was great to be back on the trail with songs running through my mind. In the glaring southern California sun, my body took a toll from the heat, and I realized it was time to get out of the sun. Five miles was enough at this point, and a beckoning grove of Joshua trees looked just like the shady ticket I needed to get out of the sun.

Approaching the trees, I was surprised to see two pairs of eyes, bright and alert, as a couple of teal ducks looking back at me. Saying a cheery "Hello!" to the two girls lounging in the shade, I asked if I could join them. "No Problem!" Unloading my pack, I relaxed on a clear patch of ground in the shadow of the trees. Then looking at them, these two hikers, what a surprise, because, at the sound of their voices, I knew immediately who they were from an earlier encounter that past spring.

Angie and Claire were two young ladies from England who had read the book "Wild" and impulsively decided to quit their boring jobs and hike part of the PCT. My wife, Luann, and I had met them earlier in the summer as we returned from a High Sierra Camps outing in Tuolumne Meadows. They were just starting southwards on the PCT with large packs and a copy of "The John Muir Trail" by Elizabeth Wenk clutched in their hands. Knowing the book well, we said hello and asked about their plans. Their goal was to hike the JMT/PCT into Southern California. We chatted for a bit while standing on the bridge spanning Lyell Creek, and their enthusiasm for adventure was contagious. They were so excited!

Fast forward to lounging in the afternoon shade of a Joshua Tree, reunited along the trailside. We talked about our trips, people we met, and experiences along the trail for a couple of hours. Their plan was to catch a ride at Highway 58, then make their way to Disneyland for a couple of days before the trip home. Time passed, and as the sun lowered toward the western horizon, we bid farewell; best luck and continue onwards.

That night I camped near a noisy windmill farm, and hence the days began passing in a blur of heat, incessant gnats, glaring sun, nights spent on the unforgiving hot ground. The sun was vicious, the land stagnant. I could not even remember what a cool breeze felt until I reached the Walker Pass public campground. There I found water and a campsite. The trip had been brutal, and my body in poor shape. Not realizing it at the time, but I was dehydrated, and my electrolytes were off, and I was not thinking clearly. Logically felt that I would be ready to continue on the following morning; I wasn't.

Sunday morning, I wearily broke camp and shuffled to the PCT-Highway 178 crossing at Walker Pass. The sun breaking the horizon, I stared up the monumental ridge before me, and I resignedly said to myself, "I can't do it." Turning my back to the trail, retreating down the road, with songs playing in my mind, I told myself: Dave, "Sunday was a day of rest, and your soul needs some," I told myself. My trail guide noted local trail angels hosting hikers at their place, allowing backpackers to use their converted garage as a rest stop, so I headed in that direction.

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darecruit · 3 years ago

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First Look at Open Arms, Chapter 17!

Chapter 17: Repercussions

Jack walked back into the house after putting the burgers on the grill and was taken aback by the total chaos going on around him. Lexi was talking in angry bursts punctuated by loud tears, no doubt from the near-perfect, bright red handprint emblazoned on her cheek. Sarah was doing her best to comfort the distraught girl while Diane was yelling to be heard over the pair. John was doing his best to calm everyone, and poor Quinn and Frannie were off to the side, just trying to keep out of everyone’s way. There was no sign of Shelby or Rachel.

Just then, the front door opened and Shelby stormed into the living room. “I’m going to kill her!” he heard his youngest sister say, stabbing at her phone and then bringing the device to her ear. Her face darkened as she lowered it again and began furiously typing on the screen.

“Shelby? Rachel? What’s going on? Someone needs to start explaining, now!” Diane’s voice called from behind Jack. He turned in time to see his mother stalking towards him. She sidestepped him without a second glance, her gaze zeroing in on Shelby. “Where’s Rachel?”

“Of course I’m mad!” Shelby said out loud; it was clear to Jack that his sister hadn’t realized she had an audience. He watched as she shook her head and then took a deep breath before typing something more.

Thinking quickly, Jack reached a hand out and stopped his mother mid-step. She opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head. Shelby had brought her phone to her ear again and this time, sounded like she was actually talking to Rachel. “Let her be,” he said, easily turning his mother around.

“I need to help, Jack. Rachel’s run off and we don’t know where she is. We need to find her,” Diane argued, craning her head to stare back at Shelby. Jack couldn’t help but follow suit. It was then that Shelby noticed them and moved into the hall where she was blocked from view.

“She can’t have gone far. And Shelby looks like she has it handled. If she needs our help, she’ll let us know. C’mon, Ma,” Jack’s was the voice of reason.

Directing his mother over to soothe Quinn and Frannie, Jack’s next stop was his father. “Hey Dad, can you keep an eye on the burgers for me?” That done, he moved to his wife and daughter.

“Hey, bug, what happened?” he asked, wrapping an arm around the girl’s shoulders.

“Rachel happened!” came his child’s angry reply. “She was going off on Quinn for no reason—Quinn’s just tryingto be her friend but I heard Shelby say Rachel’s been acting bitchy to her all week and she’s probably jealous or something. Rachel doesn’t have friends at school and no wonder, if this is how she acts! So I called her out on it and she hit me!”

Jack blinked several times in quick succession, all the while shaking his head slowly, trying to process his daughter’s rushed explanation. His wife seemed to catch the drift much more quickly as he watched her eyes narrow and become stern.

“Language, Lexi—and that was a private conversation between your aunt and I,” Sarah scolded. “You know better than to eavesdrop on someone’s conversation!”

“How am I the one in trouble? Rachel hit me!” Lexi argued back.

“Yes, and her mother will correct her for that. As your mother, I’m more concerned about you and youractions,” Sarah said in a steely voice.

“That’s not fair! I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just overheard while I was taking stuff out to Dad. Not myfault you two were talking where someone could hear everything!” came Lexi’s snippy retort.

“Hey, watch your tone,” Jack warned. “What you heard wasn’t meant for your ears—that’s what your mom is getting at. And you’ve had trouble in this department before, young lady, so I’d knock off the ‘tude if I were you.” He leveled her with a look and a pointed finger—his signature ‘I mean business’ move.

Lexi huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from the matching angry frowns on her parents’ faces. She was the victim here, face still stinging where Rachel had slapped her, and they wanted to get on her about some accidental information gathering.

Jack shook his head and met his wife’s eyes. One simple look was all it took to convey a multitude of thoughts—Sarah was his rock and she would handle the situation with Lexi, keep Diane occupied if needed, so Jack could find Shelby like he wanted and offer her his big brother services, whatever that may be. Jack gave his wife a loving smile, leveled his daughter with one last warning glare, and then left the kitchen in search of his sister.

“Well, I think we both know you’ve more than earned a spanking—but it’s not the end of the world—” Jack heard Shelby say into her phone as he came up behind her. He made sure to make some noise so as not to scare her. Shelby turned, her expression guarded (no doubt assuming it was their mother instead) and relaxed when their eyes met.

“Baby, I’ve told you before, I will not let you get away with deliberate wrong-doing—and you’ve done a lot of that today,” she continued. Jack was able to hear Rachel crying on the other end and his heart went out to both mother and child. He could tell that Shelby was frustrated and sad—no parent liked the discipline part of their job—and Rachel was clearly distraught.

“Tell me where you are, Rach. Let’s get you home and—”

A thought occurred to him and he placed his hand on his sister’s shoulder. She looked up and then held a finger up to wait. “The park, okay. I’ll be right—”

“Let me go get her, Shelbs,” Jack spoke then. He had a gut feeling that Rachel needed someone on the outside to talk to before coming home, and it wouldn’t hurt Shelby to have some time to collect her thoughts.

“Honey, Uncle Jack is going to come get you, okay? You wait there for him, he’ll be less than five minutes,” Shelby changed course, understanding her brother’s need to help. It was the big brother in him and Shelby couldn’t deny the calming presence he had on her—Rachel could benefit from that same energy in this current moment.

Jack let out a sigh of relief, his hand moving to his sister’s back to rub up and down as she ended the call with Rachel. He could feel the moment the tension left Shelby’s body.

“Thanks, Jacky,” Shelby said tiredly. “I’m so sorry about—” She waved her hand around vaguely. “—this. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. She’s been acting up all week but I never thought she’d…I promise I’ll have her apologize to Lexi. I’ll take care of her behavior too. I can’t believe her! I’ve been on her recently for her rude behavior—though I don’t think any of that was really on purpose—but this—THIS—is deliberate.”

Shelby was speaking nearly as fast and furious as his daughter had only moments before—the complexity and speed at which a woman’s brain functioned would never fail to astound Jack. He knew Shelby was speaking more to herself than at him, but he felt the need to interrupt her regardless. “Easy there, killer,” he said. “Lexi isn’t completely blameless in all of this. She let slip that she heard some of what you and Sarah were talking about before. I’m sure that had something to do with Rachel’s outburst. And anyway, Shel, kids fight. I’ve found it’s easier to let them figure it out themselves—nine times out of ten it blows over as quickly as it started.”

Shelby scoffed. “Did you get a look at your kid’s face yet?”

Jack smirked. “Yeah. Yeah, I did,” he said. “Rachel’s got an arm on her—that’s not even her dominant hand.”

“Jack!” Shelby gasped.

The older Corcoran sibling couldn’t help but laugh; he thought he saw the corners of Shelby’s mouth quirk up. “C’mon, Shel. I’m just saying, maybe it’s not all as bad as it looks right now. Let everyone calm down and we can find out the truth and go from there.”

“Rachel’s still in a lot of trouble,” Shelby said, her mood darkening. Rachel had a lot to account for, no matter what else happened between the girls. And whatever had pushed things over the edge, the fight had been brewing within her daughter for more than a week now. Whether it stemmed from Rachel’s growing jealousy or perhaps even another subconscious test of the rules and boundaries, Shelby knew she’d have to prove to her daughter that she was here, there was permanence to her presence, and that there would always be consistency and security wherever and whenever she was involved.

Open Arms * Open Arms * Open Arms

Tucked away in the shadows of the playground’s wooden turret, Rachel felt every bit the captured, isolated princess, waiting for either a brave prince to rescue her or else the dragon to come finish her off. The experience wasn’t anything like in the stories. Her face was hot and sticky from tears and sweat—no fairy tale princess ever had to deal with things dripping from their nose or into their eyes. No, their tears were always delicate, beautiful—not this ugly, oozing mess that was Rachel’s reality.

The rumble from a truck pulling up, followed by the slamming of a car door brought Rachel back to the present. She twisted, getting to her knees, and was able to remain unseen while looking out of the little window of her tower. She saw Jack coming closer and couldn’t help but wonder…was he the prince, or the dragon?

Why did he come for her anyway? Shelby had been ready to come get Rachel when suddenly, she was told her uncle would instead. Why? Was she in trouble with him too? She did slap his kid in the face, after all.

“Rachel? It’s Uncle Jack. Where are you, kid?” Jack called out over the playground. He didn’t see his niece anywhere.

Rachel ducked down as her uncle closed the distance between them. She didn’t think he had spotted her yet and wanted to keep in that way for as long as possible—at least until she could figure out if he was mad or not.

Jack caught movement out of the corner of his eye, from the rightmost tower of the play castle. It was the biggest tower and had a ramp leading up inside. Following his gut, he easily climbed the ramp and ducked his head inside the structure. “Hey, Rach,” he said, and the small teen nearly jumped clean out of her skin. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, pal,” he added, easing himself into the spot next to Rachel. He cracked the seal on the water bottle he had brought with him and handed it to the sweaty teen.

Rachel eyed him cautiously, but took the offered drink with eagerness. Her throat hurt from all her crying and she was burning up from the overwhelming stuffiness inside her hideout. After several long gulps, she lowered the bottle from her lips and then wiped her mouth against the sleeve of her shirt. Her eyes flicked back to her uncle, who was staring at her with a patient calmness she wasn’t expecting.

“Aren’t you mad?” she asked, her tone more forceful than she had intended, accusing.

“What?” Jack asked, his surprise evident both in his voice and on his face. “Why would I be mad?”

Rachel scrunched up her face in disbelief. “Didn’t you see your kid’s face?”

Jack let out a bark of a laugh; Rachel’s response was nearly identical to that of her mother’s not ten minutes ago. It was wild, really. The look his niece gave in response only made him laugh harder.

“Why are you laughing?” Rachel demanded, defensive. She had the gnawing suspicion that she wasn’t aware of a joke being made about her. “I slapped Lexi, you know.” She wasn’t sure why she was offering up that information, if by some miracle her uncle didn’t know about it, but his laughter was unsettling. She needed him to be serious.

“I know,” Jack nodded, sobering at the teen’s expression. He could tell she was upset and on edge and, at the moment, he was only making it worse. “I saw her face. I know you slapped her. I’m not mad at you, Rach.”

“Why?” Rachel couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Mom’s mad at me,” she added as if that decided it all.

Jack sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, well…” he paused, deciding his words carefully. “Your mom’s a lot newer to all of this than I am. I’ve had seventeen years’ practice. Kids fight, and sometimes it gets physical. More often than not, it blows over without any interference on our end.”

Rachel frowned as she considered her uncle’s words. He was definitely more easy-going about this than her mother was…whether that was naturally his nature or because, like he said, he had more practice at it was up for debate. She knew without a doubt that there would be interference on her mom’s end…and Rachel would feel it on hers—Shelby had already said as much.

“Besides, I know Lexi and she’s no angel. She’s my daughter, after all,” Jack tried for levity and wasn’t all that surprised when he fell flat. He opted for a more matter-of-fact approach—it seemed that’s what Rachel needed right now. “I know she heard some things she shouldn’t have and used that information against you. So I understand your anger and why you lashed out. I’m not mad about that, kiddo.”

Wary brown eyes met his blue and he tentatively wrapped his arm around small shoulders; he smiled when Rachel relaxed against him. “That’s not to say I want you slapping her or anyone else whenever someone makes you angry, but in today’s case, I get it.”

“How come you came to pick me up instead of Mom?” Rachel asked. Her mom was all set to come get her—she had asked and pleaded with Rachel over and over to tell her where she was so she could pick her up. Then all of a sudden, she said Jack would pick Rachel up instead. Why?

Rachel felt her face drain as a thought occurred to her. “Is…is she too mad to want to see me? Does—oh, God—does she not want me anymore?”

“Rachel, no,” Jack said, his heart breaking for this child in his arms. He drew her closer to him, wanting to ground her. He could tell her thoughts were miles away.

“Are you taking me somewhere?”

“Rach—”

“Where am I gonna go? I don’t have any more parents to—”

“Rachel!”

Rachel jumped at the stern rumble of her name. Her uncle’s voice was so deep, especially in that tone he just used. It sent a chill up her spine. “Y-Yes, sir?” she squeaked.

“Hey, pal,” Jack breathed, his voice low, soothing. He hadn’t meant to scare the poor girl, he only wanted to get her attention and stop her panicked thoughts. “Easy, sweetheart. Deep breaths, okay?”

Rachel followed her uncle’s directive, focusing on her breathing. In. Hold. Out. Repeat. After several repetitions, she felt her heart start to slow, as well as her mind. She opened her eyes that she didn’t remember closing, and zeroed in on the water bottle she was still holding. She was suddenly very sad, and very thirsty. She finished the water off in two big gulps.

“Better?” Jack asked as the girl set down the empty bottle. She sighed and nodded.

“My dads used to bring me a glass of water whenever I was sad. It happened so often that eventually I couldn’t tell the difference between when I was sad and when I was just thirsty,” Rachel said.

If Jack thought his heart couldn’t possibly hurt any more for his niece, he was grossly mistaken. Not knowing what to say in that moment, he simply held her.

“Your mom isn’t mad at you, pal. I wanted to come get you. I thought you might need someone to talk to who wasn’t as, uh…involved. It has nothing to do with your mom not wanting to come herself—of course she wanted to. And she would never send you away, not ever.”

“You don’t know that. You can’t,” Rachel all but whispered. Jack heard it though, every word.

“Of course I can! I know for a fact that if even by some strange twist of fate your mom even thought about sending you somewhere, I would come kick her ass. I can do that, you know, big brother and all. Ben and Lauren would too. And if they didn’t, Nana and PopPop definitely would! Nana would be on her with her slipper faster than you could blink!”

Rachel’s mouth twitched upwards and she let out a small giggle in spite of herself—the image of her mother being chased around the house by her slipper-wielding Nana was too good!

Jack let out a relieved sigh; he got a smile out of the girl—finally! He disentangled himself from the hold he had on his niece and readjusted. It really wasn’t comfortable in this small enclosed space. “C’mon, time to get out of here. It’s hella hot and I’m getting claustrophobic.”

Rachel’s stomach dropped at her uncle’s pronouncement. The amusing mental image of her mother in the hot seat soured and was immediately replaced with her own very real predicament. She watched her uncle climb out of the tower and suddenly felt claustrophobic herself; her dread was quickly filling every available space in her once-safe hideout.

Not wanting to be alone in that oppressive space, she quickly scurried after her uncle’s retreating back. She accepted his helping hand down the ramp and onto the mulch-covered ground. “Uncle Jack,” she started, feeling the familiar prickle of tears in her eyes. She blinked to clear them. “Do you have to…I mean, can we not—” She let out frustrated breath and kicked at a bit of mulch with her foot. “Please don’t take me home yet. I—I’m not ready.”

#open arms #new #chapter17 #Jack Corcoran #Rachel #Shelby #Corcoran family

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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago

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National Enquirer, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Duchess Kate sets the record straight on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

Page 2: Ben Affleck is wasting away and friends fear he’s taking his new health regimen too far as the six-foot-four star usually weighs 208 pounds but has shriveled to a spindly 165 -- a nutritionist put him on a sensible meal plan but he’s altered it with his own fantastical ideas such as he won’t go near bread and he’s ditched pasta and he’ll eat cantaloupe and blueberries one day and nuts and seeds the next and he’ll only drink boiled water and green tea for 24 hours then break his fast with a small bowl of quinoa -- instead of pumping iron he does exercises using his own body weight like ten-minute planks -- Ben thinks he looks great but his pals fear he’s traded one addiction for another

Page 3: Love-hungry Katie Holmes is thrilled to have a new man in her life but she’s breaking the bank to keep him happy because Katie is picking up the tab wherever she goes with Emilio Vitolo Jr. because it helps her feel she’s in full control of the relationship but Emilio may be taking advantage of Katie’s generosity because Katie has been showering him with designer clothes and jewelry and even paying for a personal trainer to whip him into shape -- Katie enjoys giving her guy things he can appreciate because he’s made her so happy but she may go broke doing it and it’s not like he doesn’t have any money; he’s worth a cool $1.5 million himself

Page 4: CNN rocked by sex scandal -- Jeffrey Toobin’s sleazy sex scandal has rocked CNN but it’s just the latest in a string of scandals at the network

Page 5: Axed Fox News anchor Ed Henry fought back against his co-worker’s rape charges in a blockbuster lawsuit by handing the court explicit selfies and texts in an attempt to prove their tryst was consensual

Page 6: Ryan Seacrest is downplaying his latest shocking absence from Live with Kelly and Ryan but the TV dynamo is battling a mystery illness that may force him to sign off for good -- the co-host who is a well known as a workaholic skipped out on the daytime show for the third time this year and used the coronavirus pandemic as his excuse -- Ryan was suffering badly from flu-like symptoms on the weekend before his absences but came back negative for coronavirus however doctors remain baffled by Ryan’s ongoing battles with exhaustion and weight loss and stroke-like symptoms, disgraced perv Bill Cosby’s latest mug shot shows he’s a shriveled shadow of his former self and the fallen funnyman flashed a maniacal grin while refusing to look into the camera in the picture snapped behind bars in September and he’s unshaven and his hair is ratty

Page 7: Lizzo has embarked on a radical vegan diet and extreme exercise program to save her life -- doctor warned the 350-pound singer that her daily intake of 5000 calories a day was a dangerous path to self-destruction and she needed to change her life or lose it and Lizzo finally got the message and is committed to this program but it’s been a living hell for her

Page 8: After surviving a fiery crash at the Daytona 500 NASCAR hero Ryan Newman is locked in an ugly $50 million divorce showdown with his estranged wife -- Ryan and Kristina Newman split in 2019 after she was caught having an affair with another man and paying her love $450,000 and now Ryan’s lawyers are trying to freeze Kristina who was once referred to as the First Lady of NASCAR out of his fortune -- court papers reveal the two split in July 2019 when Kristina went to live with her boyfriend U.S. Army Captain Joe Schwankhaus who is the Chief Operations Officer of Kristina’s company VRX USA

Page 9: Ellen DeGeneres debuted a high-flying pompadour hairstyle on her new talk show but the makeover still doesn’t get to the root of her recent problems and although her hair may be rising her show’s ratings are falling

Page 10: Hot Shots -- pregnant Kelly Rowland, Andy Cohen took his son Benjamin for a stroll in NYC, Will Smith held court in L.A. while shooting King Richard a biopic about the dad of tennis greats Venus Williams and Serena Williams, Angela Bassett caught a drive-in screening of One Night in Miami in L.A.

Page 11: Grieving Lisa Marie Presley has broken her silence over the suicide of her beloved only son Benjamin Keough saying her heart and soul went with him sharing her heartbreak on what would have been Ben’s 28th birthday and she added she’s dedicating herself to raising Ben’s twin half-sisters and actress sister Riley Keough, Chaka Khan refuses to duo with Ariana Grande again saying she’s not gonna do a song with no heifer -- Chaka and Ariana worked together in 2019 for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- DWTS pro Emma Slater kept a handle on her coffee while steering her e-bike (picture), it pays to be Brad Pitt’s girlfriend as his new squeeze Nicole Poturalski has doubled her modeling fees, dancing siblings Derek Hough and Julianne Hough are out of step over her sloppy personal life and his hot new judging career because these two were supposed to be the next Donny and Marie Osmond but his solo career is exploding while hers is falling apart, Madonna has always been a big believer in astrology but now she won’t even meet with people if it’s not written in the stars and she’s spending a fortune to have an army of people read her charts

Page 13: Losing his beloved son to cancer has sparked new fears for fragile Robert Redford because Robert has struggled with his own health over the years and losing his son to bile-duct cancer is extremely worrying; he’s already frail and this has friends fearing the worst, Jeff Bridges is confident he’ll win his battle with lymphoma by coupling medical care with a strict vegan diet and chanting and spiritual healing techniques

Page 14: Convicted wife killer Scott Peterson may soon walk out of prison and grisly photos lawyers say could set him free -- following years of appeals California’s Supreme Court overturned Scott’s death penalty and now another appeal is forcing a lower court to reexamine his conviction for murdering seven months pregnant wife Laci Peterson and their unborn son Conner -- if Scott gets a retrial his legal team will be allowed to introduce new evidence including crime scene pictures that Scott’s former defense attorney said suggests Laci’s disappearance was an abduction by a satanic cult

Page 15: Former child star Zachery Ty Bryan of Home Improvement was jailed overnight and released on $8500 bail following his bust for a fight with a galpal at an apartment complex in Eugene in Oregon -- the drama comes on the heels of Zachery’s split from wife Carly Matros the mom of his four kids

Page 16: Ryan Reynolds can’t wait to film a new rom-com with close pal Sandra Bullock but it’s causing tension with wife Blake Lively even though Blake trusts Ryan and would never forbid him from taking this part but the idea of him getting cozy with Sandra again still makes her uneasy -- now Ryan and Sandra are signed up to do The Lost City of D and despite Sandra’s denials they ever had a romance Ryan is gushing about them getting back together

Page 17: Isolated and overlooked Today show host Hoda Kotb is being bullied off the morning show because of tepid ratings and the absence of former sidekick Kathie Lee Gifford and Mean Girls treatment by co-hosts Savannah Guthrie and Jenna Bush Hager have pushed the disillusioned anchor closer to the door -- Hoda recently filled out paperwork to adopt a third child and she’s clearly putting more emphasis on family than her career and it sends the signal she isn’t happy with her role and is not thinking of Today as her top priority, trainwreck Matthew Perry is holed up in his new Pacific Palisades beach pad pounding out an explosive tell-all and his former Friends are quaking about what secrets he may reveal -- Matthew wants to rush the book out while interest in the Friends reunion special which was postponed by the COVID-19 pandemic remains high -- he knows an uncensored account of his time on Friends and his drug issues would be a bestseller and he intends to blow the lid off his on-set romances and address rumors he and Jennifer Aniston were more than friends

Page 18: American Life -- her tall tale: I have the longest legs in the world

Page 19: Jessica Simpson has been flaunting her body after dumping a shocking 100 pounds but buddies worry the drastic drop in size isn’t natural and suspect she’s been taking diet pills again and they’re worried this could escalate into a big issue

Page 20: Devastated Reese Witherspoon was hit with a depressing double whammy -- the death of her dog Pepper from cancer and the delay of her long-awaited sequel Legally Blonde 3, Hollywood Hookups -- John Cena and Shay Shariatzadeh wed, Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum split, Cardi B and Offset on again

Page 21: Bruce Willis is back in another Die Hard but this time it’s a commercial for Advance Auto Parts and Die Hard batteries and it’s a clear statement on the state of his career that Bruce has to revisit his amazing past to make a fast buck in the present, Giada De Laurentiis has been given the green light to get married by her 12-year-old daughter Jade -- Giada has dated TV producer Shane Farley for five years and he’s been living with mother and daughter for five months during the pandemic lockdown which gave Jade a firsthand look at what it would be like to have a new daddy and Shane’s passed the test with flying colors

Page 22: Cover Story -- Prince William’s heartsick wife Kate Middleton is breaking her silence about the royal family’s tumultuous bitter break with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to set the record straight and save Britain’s monarchy and she’s tired of all the rumors and lies and backbiting and after all the drama and negativity she wants to get the truth out there and end this unprecedented crisis that’s endangering the monarchy’s survival -- friends are trying to convince Kate to do an official sit-down TV interview about what really happened between once-inseparable William and Harry and how Harry and Meghan tore the family apart even before they moved to America but Kate is resisting because she fears that could backfire like Princess Diana’s TV tell-all about her marriage to Prince Charles 25 years ago -- Kate had to turn the other cheek often after Meghan joined the family and she offered to help Meghan adjust to royal life from the start but Meghan rebuffed her and Kate in tired of Meghan painting her as the bad guy especially when it was Meghan’s antics that tore the family apart -- Kate also is upset that Harry and Meghan are portraying themselves as victims of a world that’s against them while she and William take on a phenomenal workload to cover the responsibilities the Sussexes left and losing precious time with their own three children and it’s hard not to be bitter but Kate is trying to take the high road and forgive Meghan and move forward

Page 26: With their marriage hanging by a thread Tori Spelling fears Dean McDermott will cheat on her again while filming a new TV show in Canada for six months; Tori wanted to bring their 5 children to Canada with him but Dean put her off saying it would be too distracting -- she’s been a jittery mess and he can’t stand to look at her and he only took this job because they need the money, Melanie Griffith is frustrated with Chris Martin and wants him to put a ring on her daughter Dakota Johnson’s finger -- the couple have been dating since 2017 and Melanie’s fed up with waiting for Chris to pop the question -- Melanie began to lose her patience after the couple reunited following a split last June when Chris won Dakota back with promises to settle down

Page 28: COVID Vaccines: What you need to know

Page 32: Miley Cyrus claimed she once spotted a spaceship over Hollywood and even locked eyes with an alien but she also admits she’d bought weed wax from a guy in a van in front of a taco shop, whiny Kris Jenner is blaming social media for killing off Keeping Up with the Kardashians after it helped the reality TV clan make a mint

Page 34: Ozzy Osbourne is terrified a doll has cursed him -- Ozzy told son Jack Osbourne on their Osbournes Want to Believe show that Robert the doll was responsible for his recent bad luck and failing health, Tom Cruise and his Mission: Impossible 7 team caused chaos at an Italian hospital by filming there during the COVID-19 pandemic -- Tom and his crew including 100 security staffers plus trucks and other equipment descended on the Policlinico Umberto I in Rome for a week and legions of fans also flocked to the filming creating even more commotion in the streets outside the hospital and adding to the bedlam the production commandeered an elevator drawing criticism as hospital staff were treating 140 coronavirus patients with 12 in intensive care -- filming was done in an administrative section of the hospital but still sparked an official protest as well as complaints from trade union members

Page 36: Health Watch

Page 38: Superhero screen pals of Chris Pratt rushed to rescue the actor’s reputation after he was mercilessly dragged into a silly social media meme when a Twitter user posted pictures of Chris Pratt and Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans captioned with the instruction one has to go but a flood of responses slammed Pratt as the worst Chris causing his Marvel co-stars to prop him up such as Zoe Saldana and Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner and Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn and Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger also bashed the social media bullies, Matthew McConaughey kept saying alright alright alright to making romantic comedies until the day he was so fed up he turned down $14.5 million to do another one -- Matthew revealed in his memoir that he didn’t mind making a string of mindless rom-coms because their paychecks rented the houses on the beach he ran shirtless on but he eventually wanted to try something else so he turned down a big payday so he could get more serious

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Drew Barrymore

Page 47: Odd List

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keanureevesisbae · 4 years ago

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“Never out of practice” - Chapter 4

Summary: When Darcie’s father loses an important case, a killer seeks revenge, by kidnapping the entire Angel family. Though John thought that he was officially retired, he has to save his Darcie and her family, because he can’t lose her.

John Wick x OFC Darcie

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of guns

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next Chapter

This wasn’t supposed to happen, John thinks to himself. He picks up Darcie’s phone from the cafe floor, the screen cracked. The screen lights up and he stares at her background for brief moment.

He remembered when this picture was taken. They were in Central Park and she had wrapped her arm around his broad shoulder. She wanted to make a picture of them, but when she was about to make a picture, he kissed her cheek, causing a fit of giggles.

He looks at her bright smile. She can’t be gone. Darcie is the love of his life and he has yet to propose to her. He can’t lose her before he tells her about his true feelings. They were talking about having kids earlier today, damn it. She liked the name Livia. Livia Wick. John wanted to ask Darcie if she had a middle name, so maybe they could pass that on. He never asked and now he might never know. This all can’t be taken away from him.

From what he heard over the phone, Pete Stanford and some other guys were going after revenge. That included every person that meant something to Christian and his wife and daughter are indeed the most important in his life.

John walks out of the cafe, locks the door behind him and rushes to his car. While he drives off to his next address, he somehow managed to call both Raye and Jennie at the same time.

‘Mister Mustang, you better have some important to tell me, because I’m about to have hot and steamy sex.’

‘Darcie and her parents have been kidnapped by that idiot Pete Stanford and some of his friends.’

‘Holy shit, what?’ Jennie exclaims.

John quickly tells the girls what happened. ‘Now I need one of you in our apartment, to watch the dogs, since I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.’

‘What are you going to do?’ Jennie asks.

‘That’s the dumbest question one could ask, Jen. What do you think? He is going to get his girl back and save her family. He wants to marry her, so he is not letting that son of a bitch get in the way of that. Okay, I’m getting dressed. Jennie, I’ll pick you up. We’re staying at their apartment together.’

‘Are we going to see you there, John?’ Jennie asks.

‘No,’ he says. ‘Give the dogs a kiss from me.’

And then he hangs up.

⟢⟡⟣

John went to Aurelio’s place, since he can’t waste time driving to his place in Mill Neck. When he parks his car in front of the chop shop, the guys that work there, all send him a look. John hasn’t seen Aurelio in years and normally he wouldn’t just burst into his chop shop like that, but he doesn’t care really. He has no time to waste.

‘John?’ Aurelio asks, looking up from a car. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I need some guns.’

Aurelio frowns. ‘Thought you were out.’

‘I am,’ John says. ‘But my girlfriend is missing.’

Every guy at the chop shop stops working. Everyone knows that John got out again for Darcie Angel.

‘The lady from the cafe?’ Aurelio asks with a raised eyebrow. ‘She’s missing?’

‘I need some stuff.’

Aurelio ushers John with him, tells the other guys they need to go back to work again and they walk to his office. ‘What happened?’

‘Darcie and her parents are missing. They were taken by Pete Stanford.’

‘Pete Stanford?’ He sighs deeply, as he opens his own safe. ‘That lunatic that killed that his girlfriend and dumped her in Central Park?’

‘Long story,’ John says, getting himself a bulletproof vest and checking the guns that Aurelio has. ‘Sorry to bother you.’

‘No, man, I understand. I mean, you got out again for someone really special, I believe.’ Aurelio’s phone rings and he picks up. ‘Uhu… Yeah… Right… I’ll tell him.’

‘Let me guess,’ John mumbles. ‘Winston.’

‘I have to tell you a few things. One, whatever you do now, won’t have consequences. Pete Stanford and his men are not associated with the Continental and all.’

Even if they were, John would kill them and do whatever it takes to get out for the third time.

‘Two, your girlfriend is in the warehouse behind the Red Circle.’

For a second Iosev Tarasov flashes through his mind when hearing the words the Red Circle, but that was then. That was the past.

‘Right.’

‘And last thing.’ Aurelio fishes out a card. ‘You’ll need this.’

John takes it and rushes out of the shop, to get in his car, with the ammunition he needs. He starts his car and with squealing tires he rushes to the warehouse.

What if he’s too late, he keeps thinking to himself. What if he’s not on time? What if his newly found family dies?

John was really nervous to meet her family. He had seen their faces around Times Square and he knew a thing or two about them and a quick search on the internet told him that they were one of the best attorneys of the east coast. The fact that they were only about ten years older than he was, made him even more anxious. What if they didn’t allow Darcie to date him? What if they thought he was bad news for her?

Growing up, he always wanted a family. He found that when he met Helen, but that got torn away from him. When he met Darcie, he had more than just her. He gained two friends Jennie and Raye, he fell in love with Tiki and Oreo and he was welcomed with open arms by both of her parents. He finally thought that he could experience that feeling of having a family. People that you spend time with during the holidays. People that you buy a present for, just because you saw something you thought they’d like.

And fuck, he keeps thinking about their talk earlier this morning. Darcie, his Darcie, told him about her daydreams and wishes, despite her tendency to not share those sorts of feelings.

He sort of parks his car, but he takes a deep breath. It has been some time since he did this and he feels a painful throb in his leg, but he needs to focus. Though this is about Darcie, though a lot is at stake here, he can’t lose his focus now. He needs to be calm, like he used to be.

John sighs and takes out his phone. He looks at his background, a picture of Darcie, while they were out for dinner at this beach house, the first picture he posted of her on his Instagram account.

He unlocks his phone and as a habit, he wants to click on the video he has of him and Helen, but he doesn’t do that now, though it brought him much in the past. He clicks on the short video he has of Darcie.

‘And though I love you very much,’ her voice fills the car, ‘I really think you need to Darcie proof your car. If I forget a jacket or my pillows, I can’t see the road.’ She sits up straight in his car, her chest nearly against the wheel. ‘Maybe we should buy another car, one that’s tiny. Not everyone has gorgeous long legs like you, John and not— Oh my God, why are you filming me?’ She reaches out to smack the phone out of his hand, followed by her laughter.

He can’t lose her.

Taglist: @toomanystoriessolittletime @flhorah @allie1804-fan @cynic-spirit @raven-black102

#keanu reeves x oc #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves #keanu reeves x original character #keanu reeves x ofc #john wick x oc #john wick fanfic #john wick #john wick x original character #john wick x ofc #never out of practice

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jlf23tumble · 5 years ago

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The D as housewives? I don’t watch any so if you can give brief descriptions that’d be ace. If you’re feeling it all of. Thanks! Have a good evening!

Have a good evening???!!!! Thanks to you, I’m having an amazing one! Okay, so I had some knee-jerk hot takes, but I needed to confirm with @homosociallyyours, because she’s way into it, too, and we very much agreed on my picks, though we truly can’t decide on two of ‘em, which feels normal? If anyone watches this garbage show, chime in:

Liam = Lisa Rinna. Lisa has appeared in various soaps and TV movies, and she’s married to Harry Hamlin, which she will NEVER let you forget because she refers to him by his full name pretty much always. Like Liam, Lisa’s a pure people pleaser, she worries about everyone all the time because she needs you to like her. She never says no, and she absolutely should (also, like Liam, she’s obsessively into her physique).

Harry = Dorit Kemsley. Dorit is a wide-eyed wife, mom, princess who is dedicated to all things domestic and seemingly doesn’t get into the drama, except she TOTALLY gets into the drama, and as Megan pointed out, imagine the dog drama folding with Dorit as Harry...AND YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN.

Niall = Teddi Mellancamp Arroyave. I literally JUST REALIZED that Teddi is John Mellancamp’s daughter, which is only one (1) reason why I’d link her to Niall, but she’s also a hyper-organized virgo type whose main job is being an accountability coach, plus, they look really similar in thick-framed glasses.

Now we’re where it gets complicated because Megan and I both see Louis and Zayn as Denise and Erika in equal measures, but I’ll make my case below (but know that this is a tough one, and I’m with you if you disagree):

Louis = Erika Girardi. Erika’s a theater girl from wayyyyy back, and even though she had a rough start, she pushed herself through it on raw (often underrated) talent. She does not give a FUCK what you think w/r/t how she got there, she’s pure moxie, bb, plus unbelievably loyal to husband/friends.

Zayn = Denise Richards. Denise is my absolute fave because she’s here for it, yet she doesn’t give a shit about any of it, she’s a true icon. Fuck off and live on a farm up state? Denise AND Zayn. Weird stoner energy? Denise AND Zayn. God, I love them. She’s a bad-ass who loves her husband and her kids and herself, and we’ll see how future edits show how much she loves Brandi G.

#mannnnn i've had too much wine tonight but yeah #not what i had in mind with real housewives answes #but if you watch #come yell #one direction #real housewives of Beverly hills #rhobh

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sorin-in-the-sixth-sense · 4 years ago

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A list of my favourite fictional grey characters (not in order) SPOILER ALERT!

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time)

There is a reason why Regina is called «The Evil Queen» She was pure evil. A murderer, a kidnapper, a rapist, how could I like her? Well it wasnt before season 3 I started to like her. It took a lot of time. And I suppose I will never fully love her after she raped Graham for...years... and murdered people - children when she was a tiny bit frustrated. I would even say that she is irredeemable. And I thought her redemtion arc was unrealistic in the beginning, and for God’s sake, she should not have been crowned The Good Queen in season 7. But she tried to change so hard for Henry, she tried to redeem herself. Tried to be a good mother for a change. She saved multiple lives and souls. She didnt completely redeem herself, I must admit it. But she tried so hard and I feel like she deserves something from that. She eventually became a very good mother, even though it was a little late since Henry was already 12 when she became one. She was still a bitter bitch and blamed innocent people for unfortunate things that happened to her (Zelena, Mary Margaret, Emma) but by season 7, she became something more than that. She became half good. Grey. And even though she didnt completely redeem herself, she came close. Also, I love her sassy personality, she should be crowned The Sassy Queen, not The Good Queen.

Rumplestiltskin (Once Upon A Time)

The Dark One who after 7 seasons became one of the greatest heroes in OUAT. The man who was known as the village coward because he ran away from the Ogre War and was too afraid to fight for his wife became one of the bravest men. Like Regina, he was a murderer. He was super manipulative with all his deals and the «all magic comes with a price, dearie» thing. He manipulated people into getting themselves killed. Before he became The Dark One, he was a good man with a pure heart. But the power of the dagger took over him and his heart was all black. He was power sick. He always wanted power, but not for selfish reasons. He felt like he needed power to protect his son Bealfire/Neal and his wife Milah, but when he took that power, the darkness came over him and he, after time, became evil. It wasn’t before he met Belle French his heart showed a little bit of light. As he said, she was his light in an ocean of darkness. Their relationship was problematic and selfish in the beginning. He manipulated her into thinking he changed (which you know i detest *cough* James Potter) Rumple loved power more than he loved her, at least in season 4. He too often chose it over her, until season 6 when he started to properly redeem himself. His redemtion arc took over 300 years but it came in the end. His love for her changed A LOT. In the other seasons, his love was unhealthy and selfish. But in season 6 and 7, he changed a lot. This time it wasnt only for Belle, but Gideon too. They helped him let go of power and in season 7, he tried so hard to get rid of the dagger and the power so that he could live a normal life with his family. And after Belle died, he didn’t return to the dagger or the dark side. He helped the good side to defeat Drizella and the other villians in that season. He even became a father figure to Alice. And in the end he sacrificed himself to save Killian’s (Nook) life. And he got reunited with Belle. He is the most interesting character in OUAT, no doubt there.

Sawyer/James Ford (LOST)

Sawyer is without a doubt one of my fave characters from LOST (after Charlie and John) in his background, he was a thief and manipulated woman to believe he loved them, just to take all their money. (Maybe except Cassidy, since he fell in love with her later, but he still manipulated her AND got her pregnant) He’s a real asshole. Buuut - then he became an entirely different (and better) man. He meets Kate Austen and I feel like his love for her changes his character. In the beginning he was a bit of a perve with her (i mean, walking straight towards her completely naked...) he doesnt develope much in the 1 season, but later (beginning in the 3 season) he becomes quite selfless and protective. In season (was it 4? I dont quite remember) he falls in love again with Juliet Burke, and heeeeell, she was good for him. He also developes a nice relationship with Claire Littleton (platonic) he becomes protective of her. He attemts to comfort Hurley after Charlie’s death. In the rest of the seasons he is the born leader. He puts the team before himself (like when he sacrificed his chance to escape the Island) and in the paralell universe he is absolutely the best.

Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Okay, no he’s not exactly a grey character since he’s a lot more dark than light, but I love him too much to not put him here. Differently from the other character I’ve mentioned above, Heathcliff doesnt have a redemtion. He died an awful person. He abused and manipulated a lot of people. Before he became this asshole, he was a much better person. He was an ass to those who deserved it (Hindley, That bitch deserved to die so young. Edward was a kind man, but I don’t like him, sooo... nevermind) The way he treated Isabella was sickening and awful, she had every right to leave him and take Linton away and hate him. I Don’t like Isabella, but she never deserved to be treated that way. His love for Cathy was unhealthy, but it was true and he would do so much for her. (They kinda remind me of Snily, so ofc I ship it) Heathcliff went through so much trauma in his life and never recovered. After Cathy died, he was practically dead too, then he killed himself years later. His life made me cry for days, especially the ending. He is such an interesting character with so many layers.

Ulrich Nielsen (Dark)

(Before I say anything, I haven’t finished the entire show yet, so this is gonna be short and probably not 100% correct)

To be honest, I don’t like Ulrich at all as a person. I look at him and I see a fully grown up man with no remorse for what he did to Regina as a teen. He cheated on his wife with a woman he didnt even love. He tried to murder a CHILD who hadnt done anything wrong (yet) because he thought he was going to kill his brother and son in the future (okay, i get why he did it. He was desperate to get Mikkel back and the whole time-tarvelig thing was extremely stressfull) BUT HE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING A LOT LESS HARMFULL TO PREVENT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN. Despite this, i love him as a character. He is so interesting and there are times were I have to remind myself why i dont like him. He is brave and intelligent and... so fucking hot as a teen.

Hannah Kahnwald (Dark)

(Again, havent watched the whole show yet)

This girl is MESSED UP. When she was fourteen, she accused Ulrich of being a rapist, which is a very serious accusation and then blamed it on Regina who she knew was a victim of Ulrich and Katharina’s bullying. She is a home-wrecker, and when Katharina found out about Ulrich cheating on her with Hannah and confronted her, Hannah blamed it on Ulrich and said he pressed her and that she wanted it to end, but he refused or whatever, i dont 100% remember the conversation. But she was also a very good mother to Jonas and she was so sweet to Mikkel/Michael. She is a bitch, so much that its impossible to not like her.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Saved the best one to last. The guy my whole account is about, ofc he’s on this list, and ofc this is gonna be the longest text.

This guy is a complete asshole. Always has been, always will be. He bullied Harry and Co (mostly Harry and Neville) he was a bitter and sarcastic bitch. He used to be a follower of Voldemort. Even in his youth he had a lot of flaws. We all know he became the bastard he was due to childhood trauma, mental illnesses and manipulation. I believe he had depression, grief and PTSD. At least in his 20’s he was suicidal, and I believe it remained like that til the day he died, because he had no one to help him or give him support. He turned to the dark side in an attemt to make his life better (as many members of gangs do) but he only stayed like that for two years, which is extremely impressive if you know what kind of person Voldemort is. As a 21 year old, Snape was a very different person from what he was as a 38 year old. If he was the way he was as a 38 yr old when Lily, James and Harry was in danger. First of all, he wouldnt start to try to save Lily by asking Voldemort, he would have went straight to Dumbledore, probably with his own brilliant plan on how to save them. Second, he wouldnt hesitate for a second to save James and Harry to. In canon, he needed to have a personal reason to save them, which was Lily’s feelings I believe. As a 38 yr old, he risked his life to save people he hated (Lupin) This is a great character developement. He went from being a selfish bitch, to become a selfless asshole. He was that kind of person who did anything in his power to protect someone, even if that person had nothing to do with winning the war and had nothing to gain himself.

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ill-skillsgard · 5 years ago

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The Wedding Ring - Henry Deaver x Mistress

Forgive me, for I have sinned heavily and will continue to do so until the day I am dragged down to hell. Y’all might hate me for this or not but we’ll see!

Warning: 18+ only. Contains mature themes/cheating/spousal conflict etc. Read at your own discretion.

Masterpost

You had grown used to Henry. His condo had familiar walls and you could walk freely throughout the place if you liked. The kitchen was open to you, his bathroom was yours to take advantage of. The jetted tub was one of your favourite features of the entire place. After a long Friday shift, Henry picked you up from the hotel and brought you to the condo and the first thing you did was fly up to his room, strip naked and jump into the tub to take a relaxing hot bath while hard streams of bubbles blasted away the tension from your muscles.

The counter in Henry's bathroom was home to a designer ceramic toothbrush holder, a half-empty bottle of cologne, tea tree facial scrub and a black folded facecloth that cradled a broad gold ring — his wedding ring. You wondered how long it had been sitting there and if Henry had put it there for a reason. You hadn't seen him with it around his finger in a long time. But it couldn't have been far from his mind if he kept it right next to the sink he used every day.

A gentle knock aroused you from the balmy waters of the bath and you answered to it just as placidly.

"Can I come in, babe?" He asked.

"Yes, but I'm naked!"

Henry opened the door, eyes seeking you out like a pair of missiles. A playful smile had already stretched across his face and you ran your palms over your breasts, giving him a little bit of a show when he stepped into the bathroom to see you. He ogled the water dripping down the supple mounds and shook his head in disbelief.

"Fuck."

"What's the matter?"

"Can't even walk into my own bathroom without getting instantly turned on."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It's the best. Your tits look amazing."

You reached a hand up for him to grasp and when you had a firm hold of his fingers; you pulled him down. He snickered and lowered himself onto one knee, kneeling beside the tub so he could be at a closer level with you. Without prompting, he rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, reached one hand into the water and squeezed your thigh.

"Are you forever horny? I feel like you might be the horniest person alive."

"It's hard not to be when your man is so fucking sexy."

The words that left your mouth had a peculiar taste to them. Your man. Was it appropriate to refer to him as yours now? It was hard to tell. His wedding ring was just over on the counter and for all you knew, Henry still hadn't gotten around to admitting to his wife that he had been actively seeing somebody else during their separation. You tried not to feel sore about it, but it was difficult not to poke at the wounds.

Henry reached up between your legs, going quiet as he worked the pad of his thumb over your slit a few times, pausing at your clit to give you a look. "I wanna play with your pussy."

Your knees fell apart as though he'd spoken a secret password. But you stopped him before he could touch you again.

"Put on the ring," you said.

"What?" He pulled back like you had spit on him. "Why?"

"Put on your ring and tell me all the things you'd do to me that you would never do to her."

"Babe," he snorted. "Come on."

You gave him a weighty stare and his eyebrows rose. Withdrawing his hand from the waters, he stood up with a sigh and turned around to retrieve the wedding band camping out next to the bathroom sink. He held the circle between his index and thumb, presenting it like a half-assed project he certainly took no pride in completing.

"You want me to wear it?"

"Mm-hmm. Put it on."

He slid the ring onto his finger and wiggled them after, showing you what he was willing to do for your pleasure and then took his position on his knees next to the tub once more. He let his palm slide up your side, over your breast and up to your neck, making sure that you felt the metal gliding with him.

"This what you want? You want me to tell you how much I want to fuck you even though I'm married? You get off on this?"

You nodded eagerly and rose your knees up to encourage him to travel down between your thighs again.

"God, baby you look so good. I've never wanted her as much as I want you all the fucking time."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," the word was a drawn-out breath as he circled your clit with the tip of his ring finger. "Always wanted a little freak like you. Somebody that actually likes it when I tease her pretty little clit. Someone that will let me eat her pussy whenever I damn well please."

"Oh, I love it when you do that."

Henry shifted closer and prodded at your entrance only a little bit under the water.

"You know what else I love about you?"

"What?"

"I love how eager you are for my cock. She never liked having sex with me. But you... God, I can't get you off my dick. Not that I'd ever want you to."

"I can't help myself, sir. I know it's wrong but I can't stop thinking about how bad I want your cum."

Henry closed his eyes and purred at the sound of your dirtied words. "That's another thing... You're such a little slut for my cum. I love it when you let me bust inside you... Or when you swallow it all down and kiss me right after. She would never do that."

"Never?"

"Never."

"But your cum is so delicious, sir. I want it all."

"You can have it all, baby."

Henry was growing tired of fondling you in the bath. He hooked his hands under your armpits and hauled you out of the tub, dripping water all over the tiles as he sat you up on the counter and pried your legs apart. He stooped down again and shuddered after running his tongue up your slit, parting your lips to dip inside for a taste. The air, although vaporous from the hot bath, kissed your skin and made you shiver as he looked up at you from below.

"I want you to cum all over my face. I want every last drop of that sweet pussy on my tongue, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Henry penetrated you with his ring finger and watched with his mouth agape at the way it looked. You couldn't help but gush over the visual, as well. The flashing gold ring moved back and forth with his motions and filled you with a sick satisfaction you could get from nothing else.

"God, yes... Make me fucking cum you filthy boy."

Before Henry could make good on his promise to have you orgasming around his appendages, there was an alarmingly loud beeping noise that stole both of your attention at once.

"What's that?" You asked.

"Shit," Henry pulled his finger from you and absently popped it into his mouth.

"Henry?" You called after he left the bathroom as abruptly as the beeping had sounded. "What's going on?"

"Quiet for a minute," his answer had to travel through the bedroom as he was already nearly in the hallway.

Henry went to a flashing intercom, heart beating so hard in his chest that it left him light-headed and out of breath. He pressed the button and spoke into the receiver after taking in a gulp of air. "Yes?"

"Evenin', Mr. Deaver. It's Johnny from downstairs. Mrs. Deaver is at the front desk..."

"This is ridiculous, John. You know who I am. Why do I need to be paged in like a goddamn pizza delivery?"

Henry lost every trace of colour in his skin as the heavy onset of realization crushed him.

"Mrs. Deaver, I don't make the rules. I can't let anybody up that's not verified on the account."

"It's me, Johnny. His wife!"

"You took yourself off the registry, Mrs. Deaver. I'm sorry."

Henry listened to the exchange and panicked.

"You there, Henry?" Johnny asked.

"Tell him to let me up, now."

"Shit," Henry whispered before pressing the button to speak. "Uh... All right then. Let her up, I guess."

"Right away."

Henry dashed back into the bathroom with a look on his face so white and perplexing that you felt your own blood drain into your feet. "What's wrong?"

"She's coming up... My wife!"

"What! Why!? Why, why, why? Why would you let her up!?" You exclaimed.

"It would have been too weird if I said no. Fuck. Quick, quick... You have to hide," Henry flailed and nearly slipped on the water-slick floor.

You scrambled for your clothes even though your hair was still sopping wet and the counter was pooled with bathwater. Henry pulled a large fluffy towel out from a drawer and tossed it at you.

"Henry!" You hissed. "What do I do!?"

"Stay in here. She never goes into my bathroom. Just... Fuck. Just be quiet. I'll get her out as soon as I can but good god, don't make a single noise! She's got ears like a goddamn jackrabbit."

When Henry left and shut the door behind him, all kinds of retorts came to mind. If he'd have just sacked up and told her about you already it would be a non-issue. You suddenly cursed Henry for being a piss-poor pansy liar. Anger fell heavily over your face as you wrapped yourself in the towel and hid behind the shower wall next to a table where Henry presumably kept hand-towels and all manner of toiletries hidden away inside neat little drawers. The top of the table had an elegant glass vase festooned with fake blue flowers on it, a small brass globe and a framed picture of Henry and his wife on their wedding day. She had her arm looped through his and they were both looking down with smiles, mid-pace as her veil billowed out around her. In the background, you could see the blurred smiling faces of guests.

You gritted your teeth harder the longer you stared at the picture. The frame was dusty and you longed to chalk it up to laziness but something didn't settle well in your stomach after seeing the photo of their wedding day still very much on display. Anyone using the toilet could have looked over and seen the picture so it wasn't like Henry was unaware of its placement.

You could hear nothing beyond the closed bathroom door so you slipped out from your hiding place, carefully sidestepped the puddles of water and locked the handle. Before you stepped back, the sounds of talking could be heard and you concentrated on listening to what was being said without making a move. A plainly irritated voice grew louder and you could tell that they were approaching Henry's bedroom. You clapped a hand over your mouth when the voice burst into the room just beyond the bathroom door.

"Don't you ever try to keep me from my own property! I still have my grandmother's china here! You can't bar me from taking what belongs to me!"

"But you can't just come waltzing in here whenever you damn well please! You didn't even call!"

You heard a shrill feminine laugh. "Maybe if you weren't so busy watching pay per view porn you would have noticed that I called you five times!"

"Oh, fuck off. I don't do that," Henry's tone was riddled with irritation.

"Yes, you do. I know you do, Henry, and it's disgusting!"

Then a gasp ripped through the air and you flattened your back against the tiled wall, feeling every nerve in your body spark at once, causing an electric rush of nausea to hit you like the clap of a wave.

"Henryyy! My designer candles! What did you do!?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Footsteps pounded across the room, drawing closer to the bathroom door. Your eyes fell to the door handle, hoping beyond hope that it wouldn't start to jiggle.

"What the fuck did you do!? You lit my designer candles!?"

Henry scoffed. "Isn't that what candles are for?"

That same patronizing laugh ploughed over his question. "Not ones that cost seventy dollars each! What on earth were you thinking?"

"I don't know, they're just candles!" He reasoned hotly.

"You just don't think, do you? So not only did I have to stand in the lobby like a stranger and get refused access to my own home, but you're now ignoring my calls, destroying my things and acting like a total asshole?"

"It's not your home, it's my condo. My name's on it. This is my goddamn bedroom. Can't I have one fucking thing in this world that doesn't reek of you!? You actually need to get the hell out of here right now!"

A tense quiet proceeded Henry's outburst punctuated by an appalled scoffing sound.

"Oh, okay. Sure, Henry. Wasn't it just two weeks ago you were begging me to stay?"

"Things change."

"Why? What changed?"

"We're separated. We're in the proceedings of a divorce. A divorce that you instigated!"

"Well, you're certainly going full speed ahead now, aren't you?"

"What else do you want from me? You want the keys to my car? Do you want the condo too so you can fill it full of worthless shit? Seventy fucking dollar candles that you can't burn? What else can I do to ease your situation? What else can I do to cater to you?"

"What the hell has gotten into you, Henry? I don't even know you anymore. Since when do you speak to me so disrespectfully?"

"Since you don't respect my privacy or give a fuck about how I feel."

"How you feel? You're on top of the world, Henry! You got the nice cozy job where nobody questions your authority and us little people have to work our asses off just for the bare minimum!"

Henry started to laugh. "Oh, you're so helpless. So hard done by. You got a four-bedroom house. You got the Lexus. You got the fucking job that I set you up to get. I've given you everything and more and you still couldn't even fuck me once in a while. But when we're in the office, you can't pry yourself away. You need everybody to know that you're married to me. But you don't care about me. You care about your status. And I'm done with that shit."

"You're seeing somebody already, aren't you?"

Her question stretched out between them in the longest silence you could ever remember experiencing.

"Please leave," Henry muttered.

"You're wearing your ring again."

"Please go. Please take your plates and just leave me alone. It's late and I want to go to sleep."

"You're fucking somebody. That's what it is. That's why the candles were used. You had somebody in here."

"Good Lord, woman... You need to get out."

"You're not denying it!"

"What do you want from me!?" Henry bellowed loud enough to startle you. You didn't think him capable of raising his voice. Hearing his anger rise in his throat made your heart stammer in place. "You won't fuck me! Won't touch me. You want a divorce. You don't want a divorce. You move out. You hate me. You call me. You don't want me to be fucking happy. The thought of me having needs sickens you to the core but if I want to finally get my dick wet for the first time in, oh, I don't know, an entire fucking year and a half, you have a problem with it. Do you want to put a fucking chastity belt and leash on me? What the hell do you want? What do you want!?"

"I want things to go back to the way they were."

"Well, I don't. So please go. I want to be left alone."

She must have agreed to leave quietly. You didn't dare budge until you were certain that they had vacated the bedroom. What you thought were water droplets from the bath turned out to be sweat that had accumulated over your forehead. Swiping at the moisture, you decided to dry off quietly and change back into your stale-smelling work clothes.

By the time Henry came back up to find you, you were standing in the bathroom doorway with your arms crossed.

"Babe... I'm so sorry. You okay?"

You shook your head. "You didn't tell her about me."

"Baby, come on—"

"No. You said nothing! You told me you would tell her!"

Henry's bones went rubbery for a moment as he groaned in frustration. "Please. I don't need to get reamed out by you, too!"

"Why didn't you tell her?"

He snorted with heavy sarcasm. "Why didn't I? Um, did you hear the woman? Hi, no, come in and start screaming at me. Oh, and, by the way, I have a girlfriend now and I was just fucking her in the bathroom, care to meet her!? Yeah, like that would go over well!"

"But you still haven't told her is my point, Henry. You've had all the opportunity in the world to tell her the truth and you still haven't."

"What do you want me to say? I don't want to talk to her. Every moment I get away from work I've been with you! Spending time with you, taking you out, making sure that you're happy."

"I'd be happy if you just cut the bullshit and told your fucking wife about me!"

"Baby," Henry approached you but you stepped back. "Please... I have to go about this delicately. If I tell her, I'll lose everything. She gets everything in the divorce if she can prove infidelity. Everything. I'll be ruined."

"Maybe that's what you should get for being a cheating liar."

"Weren't you the one begging me to tell you how much better you are than her? Were you not just getting off on my fucking ring finger? Why are you suddenly against me?"

You dropped your crossed arms to your sides and sighed. "I think I should go."

Henry's scowl softened immediately, and he reached out for you again. "No. Please, no. Don't go. Please, baby. Just stay here with me."

"No... I should. I just... I don't want to stay after all that."

Some frail string inside of him had finally pulled taut enough to break, and you watched his bottom lip wobble first and his nostrils flare to hold in a whimper. Then the shine that came over his eyes made your chest ache and he took one more step closer so he could reach you. He hooked his arms underneath yours and bent forward to rest his head on your shoulder. The embrace was desperate, and he clung tightly.

"No... No, no, no, no, no," he murmured. "Don't go. Please. I need you. I love you. Please. I don't want to sleep without you."

#henry x mistress #henry deaver fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfiction #fanfiction

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flutteringphalanges · 5 years ago

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Strangers in the Night

Summary: After the mysterious disappearance of her partner, Jonathan Harker, Detective Agatha Van Helsing finds herself delving into a case that is otherworldly.

Rating: T

Pairing: Agatha/Dracula

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: This was requested so I thought I’d write a chapter and see where it goes! Feedback is loved and highly appreciated! Stay safe and healthy! -Jen

Chapter One

Detective Agatha Van Helsing had been a part of the West Yorkshire Police force for nearly twenty years. It was both a rewarding and strenuous profession. She'd witnessed it all, murders, kidnappings, burglaries, any given crime one could name. As time went on, her stomach hardened, her emotions with it. She was brave. Thrived on any given challenge. It was her calling-and to think that she had almost become a nun.

"Coffee?"

Agatha looked up from the pile of paperwork on her desk. Her partner, Jonathan Harker, stood at her side, drink in hand. The two had been a team for the past few years ever since John had transferred from Scotland Yard after marrying his wife, Mina, and moving to Yorkshire. They worked well together, the man almost as dedicated to his work as Agatha was. Perhaps she'd even considered him a friend. The couple had, after all, invited her over multiple times for dinner-most of the time she declined. While John was married to Mina, Agatha was married to her work.

"Thank you," she smiled, taking the cup gratefully.

"Don't know how you can drink that stuff," he chuckled. "Especially without any cream or sugar. I prefer tea myself, or even a nice hot chocolate."

"It keeps me focused," she explained, taking a long sip. Bitter. Just how she preferred it. "You're here early."

"And you're here earlier," he countered. "Going over the cold cases again?" Jonathan leaned over her shoulder curiously, his eyes scanning the various pages spread out from a file folder. "The seaside murders? You mean, you're looking into the Whitby Ripper again?"

"The expanse of it all," Agatha muttered, flipping through the papers. "The Whitby Ripper is just the tip of the iceberg. The murders, how it's all organized, we could be looking at a mafia like set up."

"...Where the Whitby Ripper is the crime lord?" He questioned, seeming uncertain of her claims. "But we haven't come across anyone or any leads that would link to an organized crime circuit. Someone or something can't be that underground."

"And yet, here we are," the detective sighed, motioning to the mess. "Trying to dig past the surface. I know I'm missing something," she mumbled, taking another swig of coffee. "Just can't figure out what."

"Well, maybe…"

"Van Helsing, Harker."

Jonathan was cut short as an older man approached. Howard Nye had been Chief of Police nearly as long as Agatha had been there. Gruff, but surprisingly patient, the two respected each other well enough. Jonathan, however, had yet to earn his favor, much to the younger man's disappointment.

"There's been a suspected homicide report off of Leeds, in the abandoned spice building? Another weird one, thought it best you two go out and take a look," his eyes flickered down to Agatha's desk. "Take notes."

Despite being one of the first to be alerted, Agatha wasn't surprised to find others already on the scene. Parking the car, Jonathan on her heels, she lifted the police tape with a gloved hand and entered the building. Dark. Musky. Even though the shop had closed years ago, the scent of cinnamon was in the air.

"Agatha, John, I was wondering when you two would show up."

Jack Seward, the station's forensic scientist, waved the two officers over. Agatha had actually known Jack before he was hired. It had been, after all, her recommendation that got him in. A few years back, when she agreed to give a lecture at a local university, the young man had come to her requesting mentor-ship. Surprised by the young graduate student's interest, they developed a bond. Perhaps, like Jonathan, she might go as far as to say Jack was her friend.

"What are we looking at?" The detective inquired, walking over to the motionless figure on the ground.

"Female, no source of identification," the forensic scientist stated, moving around the body. "In her twenties maybe, but here's the thing."

Jack pointed down and Agatha followed with her eyes. In the middle of the woman's chest was a long, thick piece of wood that pierced deep within her. A stake. The detective frowned, noting how the color of the woman's body was incredibly pale. Whiter than the average shade of a post mortem body. She had been drained of her blood.

"Her neck has the same marking too," the man said quietly, breaking the silence. Taking his pen, Jack carefully moved a lock of hair out of the way to reveal two deep bite-like marks near her jugular. "We could be looking at another victim of the Whitby Ripper."

"Convenient," Agatha huffed, attention turning to Jonathan. "I suppose I picked the right file to examine today." She cleared her throat, catching the eyes of those around her. "Take pictures of everything. Samples. Any clues. If anything even looks remotely out of place, consider that it is."

It was going to be a long day.

XXX

"What do you mean you neglected to dispose of the body?"

Dracula's voice was low as he stared at Lord Harvey Ruthven from his seat. Even when he didn't lose his temper, the elder vampire was terrifying. The man swallowed, trying his best not to meet the Count's gaze. He had messed up. Royally so. And as a member of the Transylvanian Mafia, that was far from a good thing.

"I made sure she was dead," he sputtered. "I was careful-"

Dracula held his hand up. "I didn't ask about you killing her, I asked about the aftermath." He sighed, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. "Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, I don't ask much of you. Of any of you. I give you the eternal gift of life and this is how you repay me?"

"Clearly he's unworthy of it," chuckled a feminine voice. Lucy Westenra floated into the common room, her heels clicking on the stone floor. "Rule number one, never be sloppy."

"Like you would know," Harvey countered, glaring at the woman. "Always finding luxury with wealthy men. Draining their blood and getting their cash. Unbecoming."

"I help provide for this family," she sneered. "What do you contribute?" Lucy looked over her shoulder towards the entrance. "Frank, dear, exactly how much as Mr. Lord Ruthven helped out?"

"I...I don't exactly have the papers on me," the middle aged vampire replied meekly. "All of the accounting work and-"

"Just stop. All of you. You're giving me a headache," Dracula growled. "I have enough on my plate dealing with the four of you, now the police are looking into us again." He frowned, leaning against his desk. "That Agatha Van Helsing, always so persistent."

"We could always kill her," another voice suggested. When Quincey Morris stepped from the shadows, Lucy giggled and hurried to his side. It was almost sickening how she clung to him. "I don't see why we can't go that route."

The Transylvanian Mafia had called England a home for over a century. Dracula was the head. The boss. The true mastermind. Harvey had been the first to join, a man he'd turned from The Demeter out of sheer boredom. Frank followed a few decades later. He was a lawyer, good with paperwork and accounting. Lucy had come out of pure fascination, Quincey joining her because he came as a packaged deal.

Together, the five vampires lived in a stone mansion, very reminiscent of a castle. Money. Murder. They lived in a world of their own. A world they tried to maintain and keep quiet. An existence that was threatened when one of them slipped up.

"No," Dracula interrupted. "Killing Detective Van Helsing would be risky. We have no choice but to lie low again until this all blows over. Hopefully dear Harvey didn't leave anything to track us. For the time being," he sighed. "We feed only on vagrants, homeless, those who clearly won't be missed. I know they don't taste the best," he smirked. "But you can thank your brother for that. Dismissed."

Harvery clenched his fists as Lucy, grasping Quincey's hand, strode past him, shooting him a dirty look. Frank was quiet, hurrying by to do whatever the hell the lawyer did in his spare time. Though he was frightened by him, Lord Ruthven wasn't about to lower his standards to drink some dirty beggar. He'd go out tonight and be careful. Even the count wouldn't realize he'd left.

XXX

"I'm going to call it a night," Jonathan sighed, stretching his arms. "Are you coming?"

It was well into the late evening, most of the police department gone-or switching rounds. Agatha still found herself pouring over the latest information connected to the cold case. Not much was learned about the woman yet, but having a new victim was a lead in itself.

"You go on ahead," she suggested. "I think I'll stay a little longer."

"Alright," Jonathan said. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tell Mina I said hi," the detective responded, sounding clearly preoccupied. "I'll let you know if I find anything."

As the night wore on, Agatha found herself growing sleepy. Every time her head slipped down, she immediately sat back up straight. It was hard to focus when exhaustion tugged at your consciousness. It wasn't until her phone began to vibrate wildly on her desk did the detective realize she'd fallen asleep.

Blinking wearily, she picked up the device and looked at the call identification. Mina. Puzzled, she answered it.

"Mina?" Agatha began. "What's wrong-?"

"It's John," the woman said, her tone frantic. "Agatha, John isn't here. He...he never made it home!"

#Dracula #Dracula 2020 #Dracula on Netflix #Agatha Van Helsing #Dracula x Agatha #Dragatha #Strangers in the Night

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