sailorstickybunz

[sailorstickybunz]

Real Rashid thought Daniel Molloy's book would be his big break. Once a well-respected agent of the Talamasca with a window office in the London HQ, Rashid felt that he had been demoted in a way by having to play butler in Dubai for the past 5 years. He really thought he could crack this Armand guy by appealing to his upbringing in the Islamic faith, however he severely underestimated just how long it had been since the subject was last human. Armand was alien to him; a creature he couldn't begin to understand. But still, Rashid tried his best to do so, eventually working his way up the penthouse staff until he became the personal assistant of the undead couple. He expected a breakthrough— maybe a promotion in the Talamasca, or a raise in his pay from the vampires—but none came. Instead he suffered through ushering purchased victims to their inhuman executioner, setting the table for a meal of freshly sedated rabbit, and sanitizing the bedroom after some particularly messy BDSM activities. Rashid quickly learned that all the blood he had to clean was actually his employers' ejaculate, which caused him to take a massive hit of psychic damage each time he rinsed it off of one of their silicone sex toys. All this is to say, Rashid really thought Daniel would be his ticket out. The man was an expert at pissing these vampires off; he knew just where to strike his blows, what questions to ask, what faults to uncover. Rashid knew this would end with a bang, however this was not the kind of bang he anticipated. Rashid had no problem with gay people; he hung out with a few queers in his time at Oxford. But there's a difference between being gay, and impersonating your staff member for a BDSM roleplay thing with your husband to psychosexually manipulate an old man. He thought the explosive divorce would be the end of these antics, but that was foolish of Rashid. As he walked to the bedroom door, iPad in hand, hoping to catch the vampire Armand in a moment of solace so that the two of them could finalize his divorce settlement with Louis de Pointe du Lac, he heard the faint sound of movement inside. That should have been enough to put him off, but in his defense, he really didn't expect to open the door and see his employer spreading a pair of 69 year old asscheeks and promptly sticking his tongue inside. Daniel Molloy, his one saving grace, was handcuffed to the bars behind the bed and decidedly very naked. His whole body was flushed and blood dripped from his neck and other places where Armand had undoubtedly bit him. It was then that Daniel Molloy looked over at him, and Rashid felt his blood run cold. All his hopes and dreams of getting out of this job flew out the window. He could see it already; Armand taking him with when he moves out of the penthouse, and he'd be playing butler for another 5 years—this time in America where Armand has moved in with Daniel Molloy. Rashid had witnessed more than his fair share of vampire genitals in his time with Armand and Louis, and he did NOT want to see any more wrinkled old man dick!! And so it was then that Real Rashid finally decided to quit his job. The Talamasca did not have good enough healthcare benefits to make up for the psychological damage he would have from staying under Armand's employment.

[sailorstickybunz]

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this

[sailorstickybunz]

Manifesting helicopter mom Armand for later seasons.

[sailorstickybunz]

armand is MY patron saint of autism

[sailorstickybunz]

70s!Daniel thinking he's just the side piece when actually he's the love of Armand’s life is something that can be so personal

[sailorstickybunz]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.08: And That's The End of It. There's Nothing Else IWTVTwT Version.

[sailorstickybunz]

you will regret this for the rest of your life

[sailorstickybunz]

It's funny that Louis is canonically always on the grind. He's investing he's a real estate mogul he's a multi millionaire he watches the stock market open and all his husbands are cringefail jobless art guys who also suck so bad. Except for human Daniel who has two pulitzers.

[sailorstickybunz]

#And he was right!!!

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022 - ) I 2.08

[sailorstickybunz]

What was that you said about memory? "A monster," was it?

[sailorstickybunz]

My favourite underrated thing about Louis de Point du Lac is that he truly is the least curious vampire to ever be made and he does not give fuck about vampires despite being one.

Its Claudia who goes to libraries, reads the folklore, tries to learn as much as she can and pushes Lestat for answers about who made him and where the others are. Claudia says Vampire Pride and Louis says hmmm Vampire Tolerance.

And Louis...truly does not care about vampire history,law, culture. He's never even thought to ask. There are vampire laws?...ok...Lestat never cared about them and he's not going to either, lol. He's broken a few and he will continue to do so. Oh you have a coven? he's not gonna join it, he's gonna do his own thing. but good for you good for you.

the 500+ year old Coven Leader, he's gonna call Louis, Maitre, actually.

He has fire powers? thats kinda cool. he'll learn that but only cause it lets him vent his feelings about Lestat.

Lestat and Armand say the name of the vampire queen in front of him and Lestat straight up says, "Louis has no idea who that is" and do you think Louis cares, outside of the fact that for some reason it means he can't kill Lestat? No! Do you think in the 77 years he's been with Armand he ever took 5 minutes to ask a follow up question? No!

Do you think he will care about Akasha in season 3? Doubt it! Outside of her obsession with Lestat, who is the only person left on the planet he seems to be able to filter Caring About This Shit through

He blatantly breaks the 3rd law and publishes a book about being a vampire and when the other vampires get pissed not only does he not apologise he literally sends them his location and says 'you wanna fight? lmao don't miss'

I love him. Daniel Molloy is gonna need to bring his A game because Louis will not be solving a single mystery next season, nor would it even occur to him to try.

[sailorstickybunz]

commission for @eggo-tistical of ghost L!!

[sailorstickybunz]

if you dont fw me I will break all of your fingers and then your arms

[sailorstickybunz]

[sailorstickybunz]

Pinkpantheress by Lewis Vorn for Altpress

[sailorstickybunz]

[sailorstickybunz]

imagine you are armand de romanus de lioncourt de pointe du lac and you have a boy you've been lowkey torturing but hes kinda cute and then hes giving you a blowjob and you look down and hes making this face while sucking you off. i would also move to dubai