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softmamawrites · 3 months ago

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Love Within These Halls : Part 1

This is the first installment of this, I’m not sure how many pieces of this there will be. I’m just letting the story take me where it chooses at this point.

11.8K

Warnings: swearing, some medical jargon, thought processes of an eating disorder, talking of anxiety, speaking of OCD tendencies, speaking of bipolar disorder and cycling, speaking of penises in a not nice way, talking of peeing, some handjobs in the end, erectile dysfunction, John being mean to himself

mood board done by me

page divider done by: @firefly-graphics

John slowly rouses to the sound of his door sliding open, a groan coming from his throat as he goes to lift himself up. A louder sound coming from his mouth at the shocking sharp pain that comes up his spine to his neck. Head propped up on two pillows, keeping him from lying completely flat. One partially tucked under his upper back and shoulders, the wedge pillows tucked against his sides providing comfort for his hips. He peeks one eye open and frowns a bit as he sees a body moving, eye sight still too blurry to make it out properly. The smell of antiseptic swirling lowly, while he blindly reaches for the remote for his bed.

“Good morning Bucky, I have your breakfast for you, and your medications. You have PT at 930 today, so we’ve got to get up and start getting ready.” Nurse Hadley says smiling as she looks at him, setting his tray down as quietly as she can. John reaches for his glasses, still getting used to having to wear them for the time being until he can get into contacts. Scooting himself up slowly so he can sit comfortably in the special hospital bed. One they had to specifically order for him, something his father made sure to point out to him. The nurse steps over with the glass of water, medicine cup filled with pills, and his urinal bottle tucked under her arm.

“Mm…yum, thanks.” He mumbles accepting it from her, tipping his head back and taking the pills. Before downing the glass of water, taking the urinal bottle from her. Frowning as he looks down at it, he remembers when he used to wake up with a stiff dick. Now he had to be reminded to pee at times, he didn’t always feel the urge anymore. He refused to ever have the catheter, he would rather die than go through that nonsense again. Nurse Hadley smiles sweetly at him, before she’s sliding his tray closer to him, pumping hand sanitizer into her palm.

“Hit the call light whenever you’re ready to transfer, and remember, PT at 930 today.” She states before she’s stepping out, John huffing softly as he sees the calendar hanging on the wall by his bed. Everything labeled out for him in big bold letters, high lighted in different colors, all done by his sister. The teenager presenting it to him with the biggest smile on her face, proud of herself. Knowing John couldn’t remember things half of the time, his brain just didn’t have the capacity for it anymore.

“C’mon…just fucking go already.” He grumbles to himself, shifting again in the bed and wincing at the radiating pain in his back. The vertebra all swollen and pressing together, his legs tingling slightly. A soft sigh leaves his mouth as he starts to pee, eyes closing with the relief, realizing now how full his bladder was. Once he’s finished he sets it off to the side, grabbing for the bottle of hand sanitizer and pumping some into his hands. Taking a deep breath as he reaches for the coffee first, grabbing the packs of creamer. He had never liked creamer in his coffee before, but drinking it straight black made him nauseous now. Sighing to himself as he sits there in the silence, trying to push down the anger and resentment filling him.

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“Good morning Gale, do you want orange or apple juice today?” Nurse Hadley asks as she pokes her head into the blond’s room, he looks up from where he’s meticulously doing the buttons up on his shirt. Taking a deep breath as he sees her with her clipboard, no doubt going around and collecting breakfast orders. Not that it mattered much for Gale, the majority of his food was pre planned for him. Picked by the dietician and nutritionist to give him the best calorie to protein ratio.

“Apple juice will be fine, thank you.” She hums softly and checks a box while smiling at him. Nodding a bit before she’s disappearing down the hallway to check on Brady and get his breakfast order. Gale sighs softly as he runs his hands down his face and flinches at the feel of the stubble on his cheeks. Going into the conjoining bathroom, one he shared with Brady, to shave. Pulling out the electric razor and frowning again, it never got close enough to his face. But he knew the rules, had read them front to back multiple times before he came here. If Gale was anything, he was a rule follower, not a rule breaker.

“Good morning sunshine!” Marge says smiling over the FaceTime screen, the blonde standing in her kitchen. Making herself a cup of coffee, her hair done in rollers to preserve her curls. The boy hums in reply, concentrating on shaving his face. Eyes flicking to her to acknowledge that he’s heard her. Before he’s focusing again on his task at hand, hearing her puttering around on her end.

“I’m thinking either Sam’s Deli today or sushi, which sounds better?” Marge asks as she looks at the boy, he sets down the razor, grabbing his aftershave. Dabbing some on his fingers and patting it onto his skin, before he’s reaching for his hairbrush. Beginning to brush through the few snarls he has, searching for a hair tie.

“I guess sushi is okay. Just none of the weird stuff okay?” Marge laughs softly and smiles as she looks at him, rolling her eyes fondly. Watching as he pulls his hair into a low bun at the base of his skull, the few front pieces falling almost effortlessly. The girl huffing softly at the fact that he could have such amazing hair with little to no actual trying on his end.

“Gale, honey, I say this with love. Your version of weird and my version of weird are vastly different. You should ask Bucky if he likes sushi.” She adds on the ending, smirking behind her coffee cup when he shoots her a look. Tooth brush in his mouth now, the white foam around his lips making her chuckle. Watching as he scrubs his teeth for another minute, glaring at her the entire time.

“I don’t understand your obsession with John.” The boy states, wiping his mouth off and picking up his phone. Going to search for his shoes, sliding his feet into his boots and doing the zipper up on the side. The blonde girl giggles softly and smiles at him, setting her coffee down on the counter in her small apartment.

“I’m not obsessed with him, but he is intriguing. And you can’t even lie, he makes you smile sometimes. I see it when I’m there, he’s a big dumb boy. And you my love have a soft spot for big dumb boys.” He huffs softly at her comment, before groaning as he hears the familiar voice coming down the hallway. Mentally preparing himself to see the boy they are both talking about. His voice booming as he says good morning to other people, the low glide of his chair barely there. Gale picturing the way John is no doubt effortlessly wheeling himself down, most likely in his PT clothes. Usually basketball shorts and a cut off t-shirt, the arm holes so long you can see his entire side.

“I gotta go Marge…I’ll see you for lunch okay?”

“I’ll see you later Gale, tell Bucky I say hello.” She says smiling at him cheekily before he’s hanging up their phone call, shoving the phone into his pocket. Picking up his newest library rental, only having a few chapters left to it. Heading for his door and opening it all of the way, stopping his walk just as John rolls by. A grin on his face when he sees Gale, eyes crinkled up by it. Curls escaping the backwards baseball cap he’s wearing, glasses sitting on his face.

“Good morning doll face.” He states slowing his roll down so he can look at Gale better, the blond sighing softly. Knowing he isn’t going to be walking with just Brady to breakfast now, book tucked under his arm. Seeing the brunet boy standing outside of his room waiting, rosary beads tucked into his right hand. Fingers fidgeting with them as he silently counts them, waiting for Gale to come to him.

“Good morning John.” Gale responds as he looks down at the other boy, even in his wheel chair he comes up to Gale’s chest. Broad shoulders moving fluidly as he wheels himself along, hands on his wheels. John chuckling next to him, shaking his head a bit smiling widely at the boy.

“Good morning little John.” Brady looks up from his counting of the tiles on the floor, a little startled. But seeing Gale and Bucky making their way over to him, makes him feel a little better. Even if it did throw off his routine of walking with just Gale, quietly counting their steps as they go.

“Good morning Bucky.” The brunet replies before all three of them are heading for the dining room. Passing by other residents, nurses and RA’s walking by as they go. Nurse Hadley waiting by the food cart for them, a bright smile on her face as she stands there. John humming a tune under his breath as he wheels, Brady counting the rotations in his head. Gale doing his best to ignore the larger man next to him, refusing to watch the way his biceps bulge.

“Alright boys, here is your food, Bucky do you want a coffee?” She asks, knowing the boy already ate his breakfast. Having issues if he eats too close to PT times, having thrown up more than once from it. He hums softly as he watches Gale and Brady head for their usual table. Before he’s looking back at Hadley with an easy smile, any of his animosity from earlier completely gone now. Pain medicine dulling the sharp shooting pains from earlier, food in his stomach making him more agreeable.

“Nah, can I get a Gatorade though?” She nods her head and watches him roll away after the two other boys. A little smile on her face before she’s relaying the Gatorade order to one of the RA’s. Bucky joining the other two at the table, striking up a conversation with Brady. Gale reading his book quietly, slowly picking at his fruit bowl.

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“Bucky, if you want to use a walker soon you’ve got to trust that we aren’t going to let you fall. You tire out too fast because you’re doing too much too soon. You’re going to keep getting the shakes, falling, and relapsing if you don’t trust us.” Patrick says as he looks at the boy, his arms quivering as he tries to keep himself upright on the poles. Sweat dripping down his neck to his collar bones, a bead of it rolling down his nose. Danica standing behind him with his chair, watching for any signs that he’s going to topple backwards.

“It’s fucking stupid is what it is…I’ve been fucking trying for three fucking weeks. I should be able to walk by myself again, instead I’m going to be stuck using something for the rest of my goddamn life.” John growls as he stands there, refusing to meet Patrick’s eyes. Grunting as he tries to shuffle forward again, his right leg not lifting enough. Before he’s toppling back into his chair, Danica there to catch him. His closed fists coming down on his thighs in frustration, trying to catch his breath.

“You were in a major accident Bucky, you almost severed a piece of your spinal cord. The fact that you’re up standing for almost two minutes is quite amazing. You have feeling in your legs, every day that feeling will come back more and more. Rushing it is what’s going to cause relapses, it’s going to push you back in your recovery. You’re an athlete, you know pushing yourself too hard creates more damage. You need to be patient with yourself, you survived something that most people wouldn’t have. For God’s sake, you were in a medically induced coma for four days after it. Be kinder to yourself.” Patrick says as he looks at the boy, seeing the way he’s staring down at his hands in his lap. Fists clenching and opening slowly, before he’s nodding a bit and sniffling. Bringing his paws of hands up to rub over his face roughly, while breathing deeply. Lifting his head to look back at Danica, the woman smiling softly at him in an encouraging way.

“Now, are you going to accept the massage therapy today? Or do you want to go back to your room?” Patrick questions, Bucky turning his face back to look at him. The exhaustion clear on his features, the work they did today a true workout for him. Stretching muscles that needed to be stretched, completing four bouts of standing, before he tried to push it and walk a few steps.

“I think I’m going to go back to my room.” The physical therapist nods his head, not completely understanding why he won’t accept the massages. The deep tissue therapy would be beneficial for his pain, but the boy always refused it. Danica slowly rolls him backwards, before she’s offering to get him back to his room. John shaking his head a bit, accepting his almost empty Gatorade and glasses, before he’s beginning to wheel himself back. Arms still holding a bit of shake to them, pain flaring back up in his back and shoulders. Base of his head throbbing in time with his heartbeat, muscles feeling tight from his consistent tensing.

“Well, I’ll be Buck. What are you doing on this side of the tracks?” John asks as he sees the blond, his book under his arm as he slows his walk. Turning his head with a little sigh as he looks at the older boy, seeing the wide grin on his face. His cheeks tinged a pink color down to his throat, sweat drying tacky on his skin. His curls an absolute mess under his backwards ball cap. The little quiver to his arms not being missed by the blond boy.

“I’m returning my book to the library…you do know what those are right? Libraries, they’re like homes but for books.” Bucky chuckles softly at the sass that rolls off of Gale’s tongue so easily. Enjoying when he’s like this, not liking when it’s mealtimes and the blond goes quiet. Having to watch the boy push his food around and eat maybe a quarter of it, half if he’s in a good mood.

“I do know what a library is, I’ve spent a lot of time in them before.” John states as they go down the hallway, his arms quivering slightly as he wheels. Gale humming softly at that as they continue going, passing by the courtyard. Large floor to ceiling windows letting the sunlight in, a beautiful spring day already underway outside.

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“Hi Brady…how are you today?” Benny asks smiling as he steps into the courtyard, Meatball wagging his tail happily. His ‘therapy dog’ bandana a pretty purple color today, harness holding a few different patches. The brunet boy doesn’t look up for a few moments, finishing his pacing. Before he lifts his head to see Benny, eyes darting down to the husky at his side. Anxiety beginning to curl in his lower stomach, watching as some drool drips from the dog’s tongue.

“H hi Benny…hello Meatball. I’m okay, how are you?” Brady questions as he hesitantly brings his eyes up to look at the older boy. Seeing the gentle smile on his face, Meatball sitting obediently at his side. Tail wagging at the brief attention given to him by the brunet boy, but knowing his manners. He does not approach unless given explicit instruction to, the extensive training he did making sure of that.

“I’m alright…better now that I’ve seen you.” Benny tries to flirt shyly, his ears feeling a little hot as he looks at the other boy. Smiling sheepishly at him, seeing the blush race across Brady’s cheeks to his ears. Watching as he grips his beads a little tighter, thumbing at them. Before he begins counting them in his head, unable to stop himself. Needing something to help with the panic, his heart racing in his chest.

“How, how many people are you guys going to see today?” Brady asks as he looks at Benny, watching as he reaches down to scratch at Meatball’s ears gently. His big tongue lolling out of his mouth, more drool spilling onto the grass under him. Brady barely able to suppress the shiver that runs up his spine, worrying momentarily about bacteria.

“I’m not sure yet, gotta see who wants to get some love from Meatball here.” Benny replies, seeing the way Brady’s blue eyes dart back up to him. Smiling encouragingly at him, not liking how tense his shoulders look. If he was any tenser they’d be up by his ears, a little bit of guilt sitting in Benny’s stomach. Knowing that Meatball is a somewhat trigger for Brady, Gale having blabbed about it to him one day. The blond seeming to be unable to hold his tongue, having random spurts of that every now and then.

“Not sure if you’ve met Bucky yet…well, his name is John. He’s at the end of the hall on the West Wing, but he likes dogs. He might like him coming by…it’s visiting day, so Gale is going to be busy with Marge for their weekly lunch date.” Brady rambles, making Benny smile a bit as he nods his head in understanding. Before he’s clicking his tongue for Meatball to follow him, watching the little backwards step from Brady.

“I’ll see you later?”

“M maybe…not sure where I’ll be.” The black haired boy nods his head before he’s leading Meatball out of the courtyard. The dog trotting next to him, being lead easily to where he needs to go. Brady watching them slowly disappear, before he’s going to find an empty corridor to count the tiles, anything to calm himself down. Desperately wishing he could be more ‘normal’, embarrassing himself in front of Benny every time he comes around.

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“So, fill me in on the gossip.” Marge says smiling as she sits with Gale, both of them sitting in the visiting area. The sushi she brought spread out on the table for them, nothing too crazy, she didn’t want to overwhelm the boy. An RA sitting and talking to one of the other visitors, but there to monitor everyone. There to swoop in for any instance, a steady, comforting presence for everyone involved.

“There is no gossip Marge…that’s why you go to college isn’t it? There is plenty of it there.” He responds as he looks at her, seeing the little smirk on her face. Unwrapping her chopsticks and breaking them apart before she brushes the ends together away from the food. Setting his little tray of food in front of him, watching as Gale opens his own chopsticks and breaks them apart.

“Alright then tell me about Bucky, what is hot and hunky doing lately?” Gale groans softly as he looks at his best friend, a packet of soy sauce in his hands. He wasn’t really in the mood to have sushi today, but he would placate her. He didn’t eat much of his breakfast, subconsciously knowing that Marge was coming, his brain telling him to save his carbs for later. Knowing his therapist would be having words for him about it tomorrow.

“He isn’t hot, and he’s only hunky because he’s a football player. Or he was…” The blond boy trails off before shaking his head slightly, opening the packet of sauce and carefully dumping it into the little alcove in his tray. Marge humming softly as she does her own, manicured eyebrow raised in his direction. Before she’s lifting her chopsticks up and popping a piece of her sushi into her mouth. Still staring at him, before he’s groaning softly and looking back at her.

“He’s annoying Margie…he’s just always there, and he’s always happy. Who is always happy like that? I don’t understand it, he’s winning Brady over too. I can see it, Brady let him pat his shoulder yesterday.” Gale rambles slightly as he taps his chopsticks on the tray, huffing quietly. Before he looks at Marge, seeing her sipping at her mango tea. He takes a deep breath and slowly eats a piece of his food, chewing throughly before swallowing. Marge clearing her throat quietly before she opens her mouth again.

“Gale…sweetheart, I don’t know how to tell you this. But he’s winning you over too, and is it so bad if you are nice to him? You know better than anyone that you can pretend to be happy…maybe he just needs a friend.” Marge offers as she looks at her best friend, the boy swallowing his sip of water. Huffing softly as he frowns, looking down at his food. Counting out the sushi, eight pieces to start with, down to six now. Wanting to push around the other pieces, looking up and catching eyes with a black haired boy. His blue eyes staring out of the window, fiddling his thumbs together. A little bag sitting on the table in front of him, Gale didn’t recognize him.

“Gale…I love you, I say this with love. It’s okay to let others in, I can’t be your only friend. I know you and Brady are somewhat friends too, but it’s okay to have someone else there for you. Everyone is a little messed up, and if he has something to say. Roll him down a flight of stairs.” Gale chokes on his water, coughing while a laugh bubbles up his throat too. Not seeing the way the black haired boy looks over at them, furrowing his brows slightly. The blonde girl laughing quietly at her best friend’s reaction, swallowing her mouthful of food.

“Marge! That is so wrong, I can’t just go wheeling paralyzed people down stairs. That’s awful!” Gale says before they’re both giggling softly at the absurdity of it all. The blond turning his head again to be met with striking blue eyes, seeing the frown on the boy’s face. Making Gale squirm in his seat slightly, looking away quickly. Worried for a minute that he’s heard what and who the two of them are talking about, before he’s focusing back on Marge. Listening as she talks about her professor in her English Lit class.

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“Bucky, you have a visitor, did you want to head down to see him?” Nurse Hadley asks as she looks at the boy, having laid down for a nap. Fresh from his shower and sitting back in his chair now, brushing his hair. Wincing at the tugging in his middle back, body aching from PT that day. He looks up at her, glasses sitting on his face again.

“Who is it?” He questions, knowing his dad wouldn’t come down here. His mom barely showed up either, the only visitor he’s truly had has been his sister. The girl taking two busses just to come see her older brother, unless their older sister came down for the weekend. Nurse Hadley flips through a few things on her clip board, looking for the visitor names for today.

“Curtis Biddick.” John’s face scrunches up before he’s shaking his head, rolling himself backwards to put away his brush. Tossing it on the dresser he has in his room, bashing the back wheel of his chair into the wall. Huffing softly as he sits there for a second, knowing Nurse Hadley is standing there and watching him.

“No…I don’t want to see anyone today.” He responds, turning his head to see her nod softly. Before she’s stepping out of his room, smiling a little as she sees Benny and Meatball coming down the hallway. The dog trotting gracefully next to his handler, the boy smiling at her.

“Are you going in by Bucky?” Nurse Hadley asks as she stops to talk to Benny, the boy stopping and heeling Meatball next to him. The dog waiting patiently, looking up at his owner waiting for more direction.

“Brady said he might like to see Meatball, thought I’d introduce myself to the new guy. Unless you don’t think I should go in there, I can head back out towards the rec room.” He offers, the nurse smiling softly as she turns her head back towards the black haired boy’s room. Taking a deep breath before she turns to look at the other black haired boy in front of her.

“No…I think he might like to meet Meatball, he’s in a wheel chair, so just be mindful of where Meatball is in the room okay?” Benny nods his head in understanding before he’s heading down the hallway again, stopping at the last door on the right. Halfway open, showing off a boy in his wheelchair. Broad shoulders wider than the chair itself, shirtless still from his shower. A thick redish scar running up his spine, more scars littered around the skin surrounding his back. Freckles dotting his skin, in a different array of patterns, none of it making sense necessarily. Benny gently knocks on the door, watching as Bucky turns his head. Wincing at the pull on his neck before he’s trying to maneuver his chair around.

“Hi, my name is Benny, I’m a volunteer with ‘Pups for a Cause’, I’ve got my dog here Meatball. He’s a certified therapy assistant, was wondering if you wanted to have a visit with him today? If not it’s alright.” The younger black haired boy says his little spiel, smiling his best smile at the other boy. Seeing him sitting in his chair fully now, eyebrow raised before he smiles a bit. Meatball sitting obediently at his feet, tail thumping softly at the prospect of getting to meet someone new. Bucky sits up in his chair a little straighter, even as it twinges his spine uncomfortably. Benny gently pushing the door open farther to show off the husky waiting patiently.

“Yea…you guys can come in.” John says nodding softly before Benny is leading Meatball into the room. John reaching out with a little smile on his face as Meatball trots over to him, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Bucky letting out a soft sound as he feels how velvety the husky’s fur is, his ears even softer. Benny smiling as Meatball tucks himself as close to John as he can get. The foot pedals on the chair preventing him from pressing his entire body up against the other boy’s.

“Thank you…I didn’t realize I needed this.” Bucky murmurs as he leans down to press his face into Meatball’s head. Eyes closing as he gently pets the dog, running his fingers through his fur, breathing deeply. Benny watching as John sits up straighter, bringing both hands down to scratch under Meatball’s jaw.

“I bet you’re an amazing fetch partner aren’t you?” John hums softly as he strokes over the husky’s fur, looking up at a sound outside of his door. Seeing Brady standing there, eyes trained on the movement of John’s hand. Rosary beads clenched in his fingers tightly, eyes wide and almost fear stricken. His knuckles scrubbed to a red, raw color, a detail that wasn’t there earlier at breakfast.

“Hey little John…you wanna come in? Meatball here doesn’t bite.” Brady flicks his eyes up to John’s, shaking his head quickly. Bucky humming softly and nodding his head a bit, continuing to scratch Meatball’s ears. Moving down to his throat, getting his hind leg to start thumping slightly. John chuckling at the dog’s antics, his eyes looking up at Brady again. Watching as the brunet looks longingly at Benny, beads moving through his fingers worriedly as he stands there.

“Oh, it’s a little party in here.” Rebecca says smiling as she stops outside of John’s door, the RA standing next to Brady. Making him jump slightly and take a step back, Benny looking up and smiling at Brady. Bucky looking up from where he’s been scratching Meatball’s throat, digging under his collar to get any itchy spots. Rebecca stepping into the room, carrying a little blue bag in her hands.

“Your visitor insisted we bring this to you, I’ll leave it right here on your dresser.” She says as she sets the bag down, John staring at it intensely. A furrow starting between his eyebrows, fingers slowing in their scratches on Meatball’s neck. Seeing the familiar hand writing on the side, it was more like chicken scratch than anything else. Meatball nudges against the hand, tail thumping against the floor and John’s chair. Bucky focuses back on the dog at his feet, letting out a deep breath. Benny looks at the clock hanging on John’s wall, smiling a bit when he looks back at Bucky and Meatball.

“You guys gotta head out yea?” The taller black haired boy asks as he looks at the dog, a little bit of sadness filling his chest. Before he straightens back out, looking up at the other boy. Seeing his sad smile, before he nods his head a bit.

“Yea, I’m sorry, it’s getting close to his feeding time. But we come back every other Wednesday. So I can always come back, and I can definitely bring a toy next time too if you want?” Benny offers, watching as John gives a few final pets to Meatball. His tongue lolling while he receives all of the pets that he could ever want. John smiles a little bit as he feels the husky nudge his knee, the sensation dulled but still there.

“Yea, I think I can get out to the courtyard if I try hard enough.” They finish their goodbyes, John watching Benny lead the husky out, promises of treats being heard. Bucky leans back in his chair slightly, the pressure against his thoracic spine making him wince. Before he’s rubbing his rough hands against his face, feeling the callouses from wheeling himself around. Head turning to look at the little blue bag again, a wave of irritation and frustration running through him. Before he’s grabbing the bag, curiosity eating away at him, pulling the tissue paper out of the opening. Reaching in he finds biofreeze, tiger balm, chapstick, a bottle of John’s favorite cologne, and a picture frame.

“Fuck you.” John growls before he’s hurling the frame across the room, sending it slamming into the wall. The plastic covering it cracking, falling to the floor in a heap. John’s hands clenching before he’s throwing the bag into the garbage can. Wishing he could kick the can over too in his anger, little panting breathes leaving his mouth.

“Well…that was a little dramatic.” Gale says from the doorway, making John jump slightly. Whipping his head to the side, making him dizzy for a moment, looking at the blond boy standing in his doorway. Book tucked under one arm, leftover sushi plate in his other hand. One of his blond eyebrows raised as he looks at the picture frame and then at John again. Seeing the embarrassed flush covering his cheeks, tips of his ears a burning scarlet red color. Rubbing his hands across his thighs and squeezing the muscle slightly.

“To what do I owe the pleasure doll face?” John questions, clearing his throat to get rid of the awkward lump he has sitting there. Carefully maneuvering the chair around so he can wheel himself closer to his doorway. Gale looking down at him, seeing the exhaustion clear as day on John’s features. Shifting the sushi tray in his hands before he’s meeting Bucky’s deep blue eyes.

“Was going to my room, and heard something hit the wall. Wanted to make sure you didn’t fall or something. Would have to call Rebecca to come and scrape you off the floor.” John hums softly, knowing that his room is the last one in this corridor. Gale’s was almost four doors down, so if he had truly heard the picture hitting the wall. He had to be on his way down to John’s room, but the black haired boy wasn’t going to push it. John rests his hands on his wheels, rolling himself back and forth slightly.

“Well…thanks for checking on me.” Gale hums a bit before he’s looking over at the picture frame again, side stepping around John. And walking over to pick up the picture frame, eyes widening when he sees the picture of John and the boy from earlier. Both of them peace signing the camera, shirtless, and standing on a beach with the sun setting behind them both. Gale’s stomach twisting dangerously as he realizes the boy from earlier most likely did hear him and Marge.

“You can just leave it, I’ll get it later.” John says, sounding more awkward than he’s ever sounded before to Gale. The blond setting the picture frame on his dresser before he’s stepping out around the boy’s chair again. Not able to meet John’s eyes, before he’s nodding softly and leaving silently. Bucky furrowing his eyebrows slightly before he’s rolling himself backwards, wanting to take a nap but knowing he’ll need to ask for help.

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“How did your lunch visit with Marge go yesterday?” Maureen asks as she looks at Gale, the boy sitting on the leather couch across from her. The psychiatrist watching as he picks at a rip in his jeans, plucking at the threads as Gale contemplates. Sighing softly before he looks up at the red headed woman in front of him.

“It went fine, she brought sushi. I ate three and a half pieces of it.” He states, shrugging softly as he looks at the woman again before looking down. Taking a deep breath and squirming in his seat slightly, Maureen humming quietly as she sits in her chair. Watching as Gale shifts again, fidgeting more than he normally does.

“Did Bucky join you?”

“I don’t understand why everyone is obsessed with him. He’s a giant buffoon, how is someone always so happy? Like seriously?” Gale huffs as he sits there, crossing his arms across his chest. The therapist hums softly as she makes a mental note, while Gale taps his foot. His skin feeling like it’s vibrating, feeling like he needs to get up and do something. Maureen watches as the boy reaches forward for his sketch book, seeing how he’s getting angry with himself.

“What’s wrong Gale?”

“I’m cycling, I can feel it. I take my medicine, I do therapy, I do everything I’m supposed to. And I still end up like this. Feeling like I can run a marathon followed by staying awake for days on end. It’s not fucking fair Maureen, I don’t fucking understand.” The blond says as he lets out a deep breath, breaking the tip of his pencil and growling softly. Tossing the sketchbook back onto the table and sitting there again, arms crossing over his chest. Leg jiggling now, Maureen stands from her chair, going to her desk and pulling out a pack of gum. Sliding a stick free before she comes back around to offer it to Gale.

“Gale, bipolar isn’t something that will go away with medication. Medication is not a cure all for this, medication is there to help you. Like let’s say a wheel chair, it’s a tool for you to be able to better yourself. The chemicals in your brain cannot regulate themselves, it isn’t your fault. It doesn’t make you less of a person, having a mental health disorder doesn’t take away from who you are.” The therapist says as she looks at him, watching as Gale chews the gum. Working his jaw harshly as he sits there, breathing deeply with his arms crossed over his chest still. Not missing her wheel chair reference, images of John sitting in his filtering through. Remembering how he watched the black haired boy chuck the photo frame, maybe he wasn’t always happy. Maybe John was just as broken inside as Gale was, the blond lets out a deep exhale.

“Maybe John isn’t happy all of the time, maybe he’s trying to project. From what you’ve told me, he seems to care deeply about people. Maybe, he just wants a friend, and he’s decided you need one too.” Maureen says as she looks at the younger boy, he brings his eyes up to her’s. The pale blue bright, with the sunlight filtering in through the windows of her office. Seeing how he seems to be fidgeting less, jaw not working as harshly now. Before he’s resting his hands on his thighs and squeezing slightly. Rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans, nodding softly at her words.

“I have a task for you to complete for me okay?” He nods softly as he looks at her, rubbing his face slightly. Before he breathes deeply, chewing the gum between his molars. Resisting the urge to blow a bubble with it, not wanting to seem childish in front of the older woman.

“I want you to be nice to Bucky, just once. You don’t have to make it a habit. But, he might need someone just to be nice to him.” Gale lets out a quiet sound at that, puffing his chest for just a moment. Grinding the gum between his teeth before he tries to relax again. Closing his eyes as he breathes deeply, shoulders rising slowly. Maureen patiently waiting, smiling gently at him once he’s opened his eyelids again.

“Just once?” He asks, making the woman laugh softly while a little smile cracks across his own face.

————————

John slowly wheels himself down the hallway, scrunching his nose as he goes. His body was aching today, he had pushed it too far again in PT. Resulting in him toppling into one of the bars, smacking his ribcage hard. He was going to have a bruise, but it was the jarring of his mid spine that hurt the worst. Patrick and Danica had both been warning him to go slower, but John knew if he could just get the momentum. He could pull himself up out of his chair without any help, he could do it. He needed to do it, he wanted to stop being so dependent on everyone else.

“Need a hand?” He hears from behind himself, tilting his head slightly and raising an eyebrow. Seeing Gale standing there, book tucked under his arm. The blond’s eyebrow raised in an arch, while he walked slowly next to John’s chair. Seeming to measure his steps to stay aligned with the older boy. Bucky huffs softly and shakes his head, it had been almost a week since the picture frame incident. And Buck had been seeming to avoid John, which just confused the black haired boy.

“I’ve got it.” John responds, using his hands to wheel himself further down the hallway. Gale still walking next to him quietly, making Bucky grit his teeth just slightly. He could feel the younger boy watching him, everyone watched him now. Everyone judged, everyone questioned, everyone pitied him. Just like Curt, Curt pitied him and felt sorry for him.

“Are you always this stubborn?”

“I’m the stubborn one? Every time you’ve seen me the last week now you’ve booked it away from me. Why are you trying to suddenly be nice to me? I don’t need to be coddled.” John finally snaps, making the blond let out a quiet humming noise. John having to stop rolling, his muscles shaking too hard to continue. Resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He lets a long breath blow out, wincing at the twinge in his side. He hears Gale’s footsteps stop next to him, the younger seeming to be waiting.

“Just…go Buck, you’ve got other places to be. Don’t waste your time.” Bucky tells him, shifting a little in his seat, not that it helps the tingling feeling in his ass. But it took a little pressure off of his tailbone, he was sore from sitting all of the time. He was never this stationary before, he was always up and doing something. To be sitting or laying down almost 24/7 was like John’s own personal hell. Gale taps his fingers on the spine of his book, before he’s setting it on Bucky’s lap. Standing behind the older boy’s chair and beginning to wheel him down the hallway.

“Jesus you’re heavier than you look.” Gale grunts as he pushes, struggling for a second before he gets a good motion going. John turning his body slightly to try and look back, cringing at the sharp pain down his spine. Muscles spasming and prohibiting him from truly looking at Buck. Having to turn back to face forward, looking down at the book that was set in his lap. ‘Practicing Mindfulness’, a pretty blue book with a red and pink flower on it shining back up at him.

“Why did you avoid me for the past week? If it’s because I threw the picture, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. It’s just…it’s complicated.” John states as he’s pushed down the corridor, both of them landing at the elevator. Reaching out and pushing the button to go up, before he’s sitting back in his seat. Looking at their distorted reflection in the silver elevator doors. Listening to the slightly uneven breaths from Gale, before the doors are opening and he’s being pushed inside.

“I wasn’t intentionally avoiding you, I was trying to be nice to you.” John scrunches his eyebrows up as he twists his body around, even as it screams in protest. Meeting Gale’s intense blue gaze, seeing the slightly startled look on his features. Not having expected Bucky to whip around to look at him.

“How the fuck is avoiding me being nice? What fucking planet are you from that you think that’s a nice gesture?” John questions as he sits there, Gale letting out a deep breath. Looking at the black haired boy, before he drops his gaze to the handle on the back of John’s chair. Running his thumb over the ridges of it, trying to gather his thoughts. His brain was fried from his most recent manic episode, he truly just wanted to sleep for four days. But he knew if he did that, the lull of a depressive episode could pull him back under.

“When…when I cycle I get mean, Marge calls it my bitch mode. I didn’t want to say something to hurt your feelings, you’re so goddamn bubbly all of the time. Jesus you’ve even won Brady over, do you know how hard that is? So I was trying to be nice and avoid you, I was doing what my therapist told me to do.” Gale explains before the elevator is dinging and he’s stationing himself behind the chair again. Beginning to push once the doors have fully opened, he truly did not think John was as heavy as he is. His body looked like lean muscle mass, and he easily outweighed Gale. But he didn’t think it would be by this much, maybe Gale needed to hit the gym sometime. They get to John’s room, the black haired boy unusually silent the entire ride there. Rebecca and Nurse Hadley both turning their heads to watch as Buck pushes the other boy down the hallway.

“Well…here you go, I’ll just take my book back.” Gale mutters once he’s gotten John into his room, moving around the other to take his book off of his lap. Bucky’s hand coming down to hold it hostage for a moment before he’s looking up at Gale. Blue eyes meeting blue eyes, their faces not too far apart, a hurt expression lingering in the black haired boy’s eyes.

“Buck, I like being around you…I like seeing you when you’re snippy, I prefer that version of you to the one that is quiet. When you’re quiet it means you’re hurting, and I don’t like when you’re hurting. I’d rather have you saying some snide remark than you just straight out avoiding me. Fuck what your therapist said…it’s shitty advice to avoid people just because of something you can’t control.” John states, his fingers gentle on Gale’s, holding his hand down against the book in his lap. Able to smell the citrus in the other’s aftershave, his cologne soft with hints of vanilla. His hair was a little wispy in the front, the longer strands tucked into a bun at the back of his head. Pale blue eyes staring back at him, a certain kind of softness around the edges of them. His plush pink lips down in a little frown as he listens to what John has to say.

“My therapist told me to do something nice for you…I misunderstood what the nice thing should be. I’m…I’m sorry I hurt your feelings John.” The blond responds as he looks at him, noting the way his deep sea colored eyes flick between his own. Glasses smudged in a few places, no doubt from John’s big fingers pushing them back up. His skin looking a little tacky from dried sweat, he could smell his deodorant. Woodsy, but touched with the slight saltiness of sweat. Neither of them realize they are both leaning in, dry lips pressing against soft ones. Eyes closed, a simple connection between the two, no need for a rush. Just feeling the other out for all of 30 seconds before they’re breaking apart from one another.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you pouting in the rec room.” John whispers, both of their eyes still closed as they stay close together. Gale letting out a soft sound, causing Bucky to open his eyes. A little perturbed expression on Gale’s face, making John smile wider.

“I don’t pout.”

“Doll face…your lips are literally always pouting. You have the ultimate pouting puppy face, I’m sure if you put on puppy eyes you’d have entire empires collapsing.” Gale’s cheeks flush at the compliment, bashful suddenly as he looks away for a moment. John smiling softly in triumph at getting the other boy to be speechless. No witty comeback, no snark, just a simple pink blush across his high cheek bones. Accenting the freckles that are clustered together like constellations.

“You need a shower John, and probably a nap. But please…shower first.” Gale states after a few quiet moments, a cheesy grin forming on John’s face. There he was, there was his snarky boy, the one who could also make empires fall with one good look. Bucky lets go of the book in his lap, watching as Gale stands straight with it in his fingers. Looking down at John’s face, admiring the grin spread across the older boy’s cheeks. His eyes crinkled up under his glasses, he looked pretty when he smiled. It was better than the hurt expressions, the ones that he tried to hide. The ones that told Gale how much pain he was truly in, something he was never vocal about.

“Thank you Gale…for wheeling me back.”

“Anytime John, even if you are built like a brick shit house.”

————————

“Hi Brady.” Benny says smiling as he comes out to the court yard, Meatball wagging his tail happily as he walks. Being stopped next to his owner, sitting down and waiting patiently. Brady looks up from his feet, eyes flicking to the husky before they land back on Benny’s face. His fingers paused in their rubbing of his rosary beads.

“Hi Benny…hi Meatball.” The brunet boy says, taking a deep breath and watching as Benny squats next to his dog. His large hand rubbing and massaging over Meatball’s head, his tongue lolling out. Ears parting in content, tail wagging happily while his eyes close. Benny adjusting the orange ‘therapy dog’ bandana around his neck, making sure it’s straight and visible.

“Ya know…Meatball here just got groomed this morning. He smells like sugar cookies right now, his winter coat got blown right out.” Benny tells the other boy, chewing on his inner lip as he watches Brady. Seeing the way his eyes flick back and forth, nervous even as he tries to keep himself from counting. His knuckles turning white as he stands there, clutching his beads and breathing deeply.

“Sugar cookies?”

“Mhm, she got a new spray, calls it his cologne. The soap she uses smells good too, something like fresh laundry. Can’t ever explain it, but his fur is even softer than normal. Feels like silk, I love when he gets groomed. Take him every 6 weeks, I like to keep him fresh and clean.” Benny explains, seeing the way Brady has slowly inched his way forward. A gap between the three of them still, but smaller than it’s ever been. Brady watching the way Meatball wags his tail happily, the swishing sound rhythmic. Something he could count if he tried hard enough, his panting breaths coming in even intervals.

“Would you like to touch his ear? I promise it’ll be one of the softest things you’ve ever touched.” The black haired boy offers, seeing the way the other boy’s eyes flick down to look at him. Tearing his gaze away from the husky, before he’s nodding just slightly. Benny smiling encouragingly as Brady slowly creeps forward, lifting his left hand out. Touching the tip of Meatball’s ear, feeling it flick at the contact slightly.

“Scratch just a little, he loves it.” Brady gently scratches the dog’s ear, watching as his tongue lolls back out. His hind leg beginning to thump just a little, Benny grinning as he watches them both. Looking up when he hears more voices coming out, seeing Gale and Bucky making their way out. John trying to maneuver himself out onto the grass, while Gale stands beside him with his book tucked under his arm.

“Look at you Little John! He’s got some soft fur doesn’t he?” Bucky asks smiling as he sees Brady petting Meatball, Gale looking over at one of his best friends. A grin spreading across his face when he sees the boy facing a trigger of his. Brady lifts his head from where he’s been staring at Meatball’s drooling tongue, a high flush covering his cheeks. Before he’s retracting his hand and reaching into his pocket for a little bottle of hand sanitizer. Benny wincing when he squirts it onto his hands, not musing how raw the knuckles look from the constant scrubbing.

“You did really well Brady…he loved it. Hey Gale, hi Bucky, I brought a tennis ball today. Along with this, thought it might make it easier.” Benny says as he stands up tall again, smiling softly at Brady, seeing the way his eyes have fallen to the grass. A bashful little smile forming on his lips as he accepts the praise, before he’s watching as Meatball is lead over to Bucky. Benny holding up a ball tosser, the bright blue plastic housing the tennis ball waiting for Meatball. The vibrant green of it almost glowing in the sunlight, reflecting just a little bit.

“Hey Brady…you did really well petting Meatball. His ears are soft right?” Gale asks once he’s stepped over to the younger boy, grinning a little at him. Watching as Brady drags his eyes away from Benny, the boy having let Meatball off of his leash. John flinging the ball with the assistive device, watching as the husky takes off for it. Coming back diligently with the tennis ball, dropping it in the wheel chair bound boy’s lap.

“Y yea his ears are really soft, he smelt like sugar cookies too.” Brady responds as he looks at one of his best friends, the pair of them having grown close in their almost eight weeks together. Gale having been one of the first people he was introduced to, the older boy having already been there for two weeks. The both of them finding solitude in the other, eating meals together quietly. Sometimes exploring the grounds together, finding new hiding spots and places for a quiet escape.

“What’s going on with you and Bucky? You have been spending more time with him lately.” Brady questions as he looks at the blond, both of them watching the other two boys. Gale looks at him a little startled, before a pink flush covers his cheeks down to his throat. Thinking of how they’ve been texting each other late into the night. Sharing a few more kisses here and there, Bucky even having joined Gale and Marge for their weekly lunch date earlier. Sandwiches having been consumed while easy chatter filled the space. Gale finding himself eating almost 2/3 of his food before he had to stop for fear of getting sick.

“I…just taking advice from Maureen…being nice to him. Why, are you jealous?” Gale teases smiling a bit as he looks at the brunet boy, seeing him staring at his shoes. The slip on tennis shoes rubbing into the grass just slightly, making a little frown form on Brady’s face. Streaks of green staining the white plastic bit making him want to squirm a bit.

“Brady…we’re still gonna be friends, I promise, John won’t take that place at all. We can all be friends right?” Buck asks as he turns his upper body to look at the other boy better, watching as he brings his blue eyes up. Nodding softly and letting out a deep breath, both of them standing there to watch John play with Meatball. Gale’s eyes drawn to the muscles shifting in Bucky’s bicep, not winding back far but going enough to get good air for the ball. While Brady watches the way Benny holds himself easily, talking with John like they’ve known each other forever. Both of the black haired boys smiling and laughing at something John has said.

“Yea…although I think you and Bucky are gonna be more than friends. Especially with the way you two stare at each other.” Brady says smirking just a bit at the little squawk Gale lets out. His blazing blue eyes coming back over to look at the brunet boy, seeing the sassy grin on his face. The blond nudging him with his elbow just slightly, barely brushing him.

“I could say the same thing for you and Benny…he likes you too ya know. It wouldn’t hurt you to have a longer conversation with him.” Brady feels the blush run up his cheeks as he stands there. Before he’s turning his face away to stare at the grass, eyes drawn to watching Meatball gallop around the court yard. Happily barking when John throws the ball again for him, running back and forth to his heart’s content.

“He makes me nervous…but I don’t know why.”

“Because it’s different, trust me…I know the feeling well.” Gale murmurs as he looks at the black haired boy, admiring the way the sun is shining down on him. His backwards cap having been pulled to face forward to protect his eyes. The glare from the sun hitting his glasses and making his head hurt. The back of his head covered in black wavy curls, freckles dotting down his neck and disappearing onto his shoulders. Gale knew because he had been privy to seeing the boy shirtless a few different times now in his room.

“Does it get easier?” Brady questions as he stands there, looking at Benny again. His skin looked soft and tanned in the sunlight. Black hair holding a silky quality to it, reflecting the sunlight. His arms shifting and causing muscles to bulge every now and then when he leans down to pet Meatball.

“If it does, you let me know.” The blond next to him states as he stands there, the two boys looking at one another again. Before their focus shifts back on the other two playing with the husky together.

————————

“Sorry Buck…don’t think my chair is gonna make it up those stairs.” John says as he looks at the blond, seeing the look on his face. A little smirk tugging at the corners of his lips before he’s continuing on their little journey. The blond had confiscated him after PT, the older having been intending on going to his room to shower. But being intercepted as he wheeled himself down a corridor. Gale having spun his chair around, taking him wherever he pleased at that moment. They had been meeting after John’s PT sessions for almost two weeks now, usually it was because Gale would roll him back to his room. But today the blond seemed to have a different idea in mind, taking John down a corridor on the opposite side of their wing of the hospital.

The blond glides right past the stairs towards a different corridor, finding one of the empty sun rooms. The sunlight filtering in beautifully, creating a serene atmosphere.

“Wow Buck…it’s pretty in here. Got a good view of the river…oh, hi.” John trails off as Gale climbs into his lap, situating himself so he’s hovering over the boy’s thighs. Nestling himself between the arms of the chair, forearms curling around John’s shoulders. The bigger boy’s hands coming to rest on Gale’s narrow waist, squeezing gently. Looking up at the other’s eyes, before he’s being kissed. Gale pressing his mouth down to his, while the fingers on one hand go to curl up into his hair.

“You keep rolling around in these goddamn tank tops…it isn’t fair. You’re showing off everything.” The blond states as he tugs on the curls in his grip, making John wince slightly at the pressure on his neck. Gale loosening his grip, and just carding his fingers through instead. Before he’s leaning down and kissing John again, feeling the scratch of the older’s facial hair against his skin. The squeeze of Bucky’s hands against his waist sending a thrum of arousal down his spine. Length twitching in his jeans, making him press forward slightly against John’s lower chest. One of the older boy’s large palms coming down to squeeze his butt, grinding him forward more.

“You bring me in here for a quickie? How scandalous Buck…how many other boys you bring in here?” John asks a little breathless, moaning softly as his head tilts to the side to give Buck more room against his skin. Grunting when one of Gale’s hands pinches at his nipple, feeling the bulge in his jeans. Rubbing against his chest with every rock of the blond’s hips against him.

“Never brought anyone else here…found it when I was exploring one day.” He states before nipping at John’s ear, groping at the other boy’s chest slightly. Feeling his hard nipple brushing across his thumb, before he pinches again. Pulling back to kiss the older boy, sucking at his lower lip and groaning. A shudder going up his spine at the feel of John gripping his ass.

“Can I touch you?” Bucky asks as he pants softly, able to feel the hard press of Gale against his chest. The blond looking down between them both, knowing he’s dripping into his briefs. Throbbing slightly with need, not having gotten off in what feels like forever. He bobs his head quickly, bringing a hand down to undo his belt shakily.

“Buck…we don’t gotta do anything. Don’t do it if you don’t want to.” John tells him as he looks at the blond, tilting his chin up to get him to meet his eyes. Seeing the way his cornflower blues are blown wide, lips spit slick and a little swollen. Lips parted as he pants quietly, before he’s leaning in and kissing Bucky a little slower.

“I haven’t done this with anyone in a really long time…I’m so fucking hard I can’t think straight right now. But I know I want this.” Gale states before he’s undoing his jeans, Bucky helping him push them down enough for his cock to spring out. Tip pink, wet, and beading another pearl of precum already. John groaning softly as he looks down, before he’s bringing his heated gaze back up to Gale.

“Should have known your cock would be pretty, everything about you is pretty.” He states before he’s licking across his palm, sliding his hand down to wrap around Buck’s length. Squeezing gently as he leans in to kiss him again, both of them letting out little sounds. Gale’s hips chasing the feeling slightly, while John starts moving his hand in a simple rhythm. Squeezing when he gets to the tip, rubbing his thumb across it to collect the wetness. A high pitched whimper coming from Gale’s mouth, his teeth sinking into Bucky’s bottom lip.

“T tighter…squeeze me tighter.” The blond pants as he pushes into John’s fist, opening his eyes to watch as Bucky drops a glob of spit down onto his tip. A loud moan coming from his throat at the wet sensation, before he’s being squeezed tighter. John’s hand shaking just slightly at the little strain on his muscle, body tired from PT. Gale tilts John’s head back to kiss him while keeping his hips moving, whimpering softly.

“Look so pretty sitting in my lap like this, does it feel good?” John asks as he swipes his thumb across the younger boy’s tip, groaning softly as he feels how heavily Gale is leaking. Little drops beading consistently to help slick the way for his fist to move. Bucky’s eyes drag up to watch his face, seeing the way the blond’s jaw has dropped open. Little cut off whimpers and moans coming from his throat, while he tangles his hand tighter in John’s cut off.

“Feels…feels so good. Oh fuck John.” Gale whines out as he snaps his hips a little harder, the movement making John’s chair move. The older boy’s free hand shooting out to grab the wheel, fumbling with the lock quickly. Gale’s body having slowed down a bit, a shocked chuckle leaving his mouth. Before their eyes are meeting again and Gale is pressing down for a kiss, messy and wet. His tongue pressing into Bucky’s mouth while the older squeezes around his cock again.

“Keep going, that’s it. Make yourself feel good.” John murmurs against the others mouth, feeling him picking up his pace again. Adjusting how he’s kneeling just a little to press closer, trying to keep his weight mostly off of John. Sweat beading on the back of his neck, a few drops sliding down to his shirt collar. Resting his forehead against Bucky’s while he whines and pants softly. Breath fogging up John’s glasses, while the older peeks down to watch the show in his lap. His arousal curling and pooling in his lower stomach, one of his large hands grabbing the blond’s butt. Squeezing tightly and listening to the resounding groan fall from Gale’s lips.

“J John…John I’m cumming. Don’t stop. Please.” Gale gasps out suddenly as he grips onto the older boy tighter, rocking his cock into his fist faster. Panting softly, head tipped back showing off the long lines of his throat. One of his hands gripping the arm rest of the wheel chair, the other tangled in John’s shirt. A broken sob coming from his throat as his cock twitches and leaks in the other’s grip.

“Cum for me doll…that’s it, fuck look so pretty like this. Keep going, wanna watch you make a mess.” Bucky eggs him on, moaning quietly as he watches the boy rocking desperately. The sweat in his hairline making the blond strands stick to his cheeks. Plush lips spread open before he’s tensing up and starting to spurt. John groaning as he watches, arousal clenching low in his stomach as he jerks his fist. Letting the boy shudder through his orgasm, squeezing around his tip one last time.

“Fuck…oh fuck John.” Gale whimpers out before he’s leaning into the older’s body. Panting softly against his throat, his hand coming down shakily to John’s shorts. Frowning when he feels him completely soft, lifting his head a bit to look at his face. A blush having darkened his cheeks as he sits there, squirming just a little bit.

“Damn thing hasn’t worked right since the accident…trust me, pisses me off more than half of the time.” Bucky explains, seeing the way Gale’s eyes soften, before he’s leaning forward to kiss him. Nipping at John’s lower lip and hearing the responding moan from the sting of pain. Buck’s large hand sliding over the bulge where John’s soft cock is sitting. The black haired boy pulling away to watch what he’s doing, letting out a soft shuddering breath.

“Can you still feel it?” Gale murmurs as he looks at the boy, feeling the little nod come from him. Both of their eyes peering down to watch, John letting out a barely there sound as he feels the pleasure tingling down his pelvic bone. The heel of Gale’s hand gently dragging and digging into his cock. His clean hand clutching at Buck’s butt, squeezing while he watches the younger boy touch him over his shorts.

“Can I touch you?” The blond asks as he squeezes around Bucky’s cock again, the whimper coming from his throat lowly. Nodding quickly as he watches Gale’s hand slide down into his shorts to pull him out. The younger swallowing thickly when he sees how thick he is even when soft.

“Jesus John.” Bucky brings his eyes up, worried for a minute that the other boy is judging him. His stomach sucking in just a little before he sees the expression on Gale’s face. His eyes a little glassy, slick lips parted, astonishment on his features. Before the blond is bringing his eyes up to meet John’s leaning in to kiss him. Sucking on the older boy’s lower lip and sinking his teeth in, pulling away from him for a minute.

“Oh fuck me.” John groans as he watches Gale lick his palm, getting a glob of spit on his fingers. Before he’s bringing them back down to wrap around Bucky’s cock, squeezing gently. Rubbing his thumb across the other’s tip, before he’s carefully moving his hand. Tightening his fist at the way John gasps out quietly, his face tilted down to watch. Gale enamored with the expression on Bucky’s face, wonderment, arousal, and need.

“Feels…it feels weird, can feel your touch. But I can’t get hard…don’t think I can anyways.” John mumbles the ending as he moans again at the squeeze Gale gives him. The blond watching his expressions, enraptured by the way John’s jaw drops down. His hand squeezing on Buck’s butt cheek, finger tips digging into the seam of his jeans. The older boy whining lowly at the sensations going through his system. Letting Gale tilt his head back for another kiss, his hand speeding up on John’s length. Squeezing and rubbing his thumb across the tip every now and then.

“Does it feel good?” Gale questions, feeling the shaky nod that John answers with. His eyes squeezed shut as his hand grips at Gale tighter now. Stomach sucking in, pelvis making little movements every now and then. Like he wants to thrust but can’t quite get there, his jaw dropping open on a moan. Forehead digging into Gale’s cheek, while the blond watches his hand moving.

“I think, fuck Gale, I think I’m gonna cum.” John whimpers out, his breaths coming out in quick pants. An almost burning tingling sensation taking over, tears welling in his eyes. Messy scrabbling to grab the armrest of his chair, before he’s hiccuping on a cry. Beginning to ooze cum, Gale squeezing around his tip to work it out of him. Little shudders coursing through Bucky’s body, his forehead knocking into Buck’s jaw. A few tears having rolled down his cheeks, overwhelmed by the sensations of everything.

“John…John are you okay? Fuck did I hurt you?” Gale asks as he tips the other boy’s head back, seeing the few tear tracks down his face. Letting go of his length in worry, shifting a bit before he feels John hold him tighter. Opening his glassy blue eyes to look up, bumping his nose against Gale’s softly.

“Did I hurt you John?” Gale repeats as he looks at the older boy, eyebrows creased with worry. Seeing the dopey smile forming on John’s face, making the hand clenching Gale’s heart lessen a fraction. Meeting Bucky halfway for a kiss, still worried because the boy hasn’t answered him yet.

“Didn’t hurt me Buck, just overwhelmed. Felt different than it used to, burning tingly sensation. But I can’t remember the last time I came, it was good.” The blond makes a face at the ‘burning tingly’ comment, not knowing how that would feel good in any universe. But deciding to trust the older boy, his cheek resting on John’s forehead. Before he hears the soft groan come from the black haired boy, lifting his head to look up.

“Got cum on my chair.” Bucky mumbles, both of them looking at one another before little giggles are spilling from their lips. Foreheads pressing together for a brief moment while they both smile softly. Spent, sweaty, cum drying in various places, but overall happy.

————————

“Gale! I’m so happy for you! Congratulations on going home!” Rebecca says smiling as she sees Gale pushing John down the hallway just a little while later. Both of their cheeks tinted slightly pink, but put back together enough to be considered decent. John tilts his head slightly and looks at Gale in confusion, a timid expression on his face.

“I uh, I was going to tell you. Just found out a little bit ago.” The blond explains as he looks at the broad boy, watching the way his eyebrows furrow a bit. His own hands leaving his lap to go to the wheels of his chair. Gale stepping around to the side, looking at the boy who’s starting to hold his heart.

“Yea uh…congratulations Buck. I’m really, yea I’m really happy for you. I’m gonna, go and just go to my room.” Bucky murmurs before he’s beginning to wheel himself down the hallway, shoulders scrunched together. A million and one thoughts running through his head at the moment.

Wondering if Gale really was going to tell him, or if he just wanted a quickie before he left. Was Gale going to keep in touch with him when he left? They had exchanged numbers and spent a good portion of their nights texting when they weren’t in the other’s rooms. Frustrated tears beginning to form in his eyes as he suddenly feels the envy forming at the fact that Gale is going home. While John has to stay in the facility for the undetermined future, unsure when he gets to go home.

#softmamawrites #john bucky egan #gale buck cleven #john brady #Benny Demarco #clegan #john egan x gale cleven #brenny #benny demarco x john brady #clegan smut #buck x bucky

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swifty-fox · 9 months ago

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SwiftyFox~28~They/Them

ART WRITING Ao3

Current Fics & AUs

Eudaimonia: A Modern/1990's Outlaws au. Clegan tag

meet me at the chapel interludes coronae borealis jump the gun run your race young restless and bored childrens story (UPCOMING)

Little Beasts: Pure smut Priest!Gale and Burnout!John. Emotional slow burn. tag

Little Beast Amoretti Song of Songs it's not true that I had nothing on all's well that ends little flowers (LBP7) (LBP8) (LBP9) (LBP10)

Sonnet of the Sweet Compliant: Show Canon Post-War fic. Includes both Clegan & Benny/Brady as a pairing main tag

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder TAG sledding story understanding in a plane crash (bennyxbrady) TAG love song from a dog (WIP) TAG we sleep now with the light on (bennyxbrady) things broken things lost(UPCOMING)

Cicada Season: modern au with construction worker John & PHD Student Gale Tag

STANDALONES

the heart is a muscle (51k, Tattoo x Florist Christmas AU)

i followed fires (27k Halloween Clegan with a side of Clegan/Rosie)

wormwood (4.8k, Clegan dubcon)

two fingers down (8.5k, Clegan Bikeriders AU)

Other WIPS:

Pirate AU

Perfect Binary (Sci Fi AU)

#new pinned

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avonne-writes · 3 months ago

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I'm so happy that I have finally finished my last custom bingo for the @mota-collab Mota 1st Birthday event! 🩷 I hope you'll enjoy my recs below.

Sapphic smut -> Left Behind by Edo345 - this short fic about two OCs showed an interesting perspective on life at Thorpe Abbotts. I don't read f/f fic often, but I would've read more of this.

Posted: Jun 2024 -> Rosie edit by @magneticghouls - beautifully edited, I loved the song and the stylistic choices.

First time sex -> my type by @spaceshipkat - this one-shot showed the bond and the familiarity between John and Gale so well. It may be their first time with each other, but they can still understand each other without words. The ending was lovely too.

Stalag fucking -> Five Seconds by @stoneinyourshoe - a fun outsider (Brady) POV Clegan fic with a side of Brenny. I liked this take on Brady and Benny and even wished they had followed John and Gale’s example in this fic 😄

Posted: Oct 2024 -> John and Gale fanart by @johnbottoms - this one is hilarious, I have to smile every time I look at it. I love it!

Somnophilia -> pretty, like a doll by @anachilles - such a well-written PWP! I loved the way Gale's sleeping thoughts were written and how it transitioned to reality.

Posted: Jan 2025 -> Gale art by @birdgems - "Kinda face you wanna paint on the side of your plane" no truer words! I can never get enough of Gale wearing heart-shaped glasses.

*incoherent sobbing* -> this John edit by @whirlpool-blogs - the sentiment of it is so beautiful it breaks my heart. I think about @whirlpool-blogs ' thoughts about remembrance often.

I'm so normal about them -> eat me, honey by @wayrad - fem!Gale x John fic. This was so hot, guys 🥵 Steamy, with Gale in control, but also deeply loving.

Screaming, crying, throwing up -> level off maneuvers by wormringers - "He trusts Gale too much for stage fright." Bucky jerks off in front of Gale. Hot and intimate fic ❤️‍🔥

Humiliation kink -> Babygirl by @xmysweetcreaturex - this fic was inspired by the movie, and it adapts the dynamics well. Hot, smutty fic if you like the original premise, and it has a second part too!

Posted: pre-show -> cute icons by @kylaym - I love the idea of capturing all the different scarves, and the style of these icons is lovely.

*chomp* -> NSFW Clegan fanart by @moontashpena - the way they depict John is just so 🥵🥵 I need more thick John in the fandom. (Reminds me of penny drop by @drylite which I recced previously)

Bdsm -> I have two recs because I couldn’t decide! 1) ain't it easy by @stereobone - a classic! I think it’s a really interesting exploration of what Gale and John get out of dominance and submission. Amazingly written as always. Dom John, sub Gale. 2) didactic by @drylite - this was so fun, I loved John's almost unhinged yearning and desire for Gale. Such a great one-shot. Dom Gale, sub John.

he protec, he attac, but most importantly... he likes to be pet -> Phantom Tail by @skyyguy - Puppy John is the sweetest dog shifter out there 💕

Posted Apr 2024 -> uniform study by @coldarena - this is drawn so well, all the details are lovely. It was nice to see art about minor characters. The "functional alcoholism" by Jack cracked me up. And Meatball is so cute!

#mota #gale cleven #john egan #rosie rosenthal #clegan #buck x bucky #mota fic rec #mota fanart #mota collab #mota 1st birthday #mota 1st birthday bingo #bingo fill

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softmamawrites · 3 months ago

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Love Within These Halls: Part 3

The 3rd installment for LWTH, not nearly enough Brenny in here. but there is more Curt/Ken, and more Marge.

Warnings: inaccurate court case proceedings (I did my absolute best with it), religious trauma, religious discussions, discussions of peeing, peeing (not in a sexual way), discussions of erectile dysfunction medications, slightly mean power bottom!Gale (he’s a warning, I don’t make the rules), sexual situations, medical jargon, discussions of bipolar cycling, discussions of depression, John being a sad boy

Word count: 20.7k - every time I tell myself I’m not going to go too long again. and I do, I’m so sorry 😬

Moodboard by me

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Thank you goes to @trashbag-baby666 for listening to me ramble about these boys. 💕

“John, stop fidgeting…you look okay.” Gale murmurs as he adjusts John’s tie carefully, brushing his hands over the older’s shoulders. The black haired boy sitting in his chair, dressed for a court date he had no want to be at. The summons having come almost six weeks ago, a lawyer’s name and number attached to the bottom. Both him and Curt had sat together to call, Gale and Ken there for support. Listening to the options, listening as the lawyer read off the charges, before asking John if they could access his medical records. John had stammered out an answer, he couldn’t even remember what he said.

But him and Curt had been in and out of the lawyer’s office for almost a month now, Gale tagging along when he could. If not Gale then Ken was coming, it seemed neither of the black haired boys could handle going by themselves. They had tried once, and it ended in them both numbly sitting in the parking lot for almost an hour. Ken having pulled up by Curt’s car with Gale in the passenger seat, Gale getting into Curt’s car while Curt got put into Ken’s.

The meetings with the lawyers, Paula and Wesley, had drug on and on. Combing through everything they could, asking a million and one questions. John fighting hard to not disassociate in his chair in the office, while Curt had tried hard to reign in his anger. The older black haired boy having lost it when they told them that Ham was trying to go for lesser charges. Declining that he caused any injury to John, it was John’s choice to get into the vehicle that night, all three of them had been drinking, so all three of them should be held accountable.

It made John question everything, his head was in a tail spin. Asking if he deserved for this to happen, he had been drinking that night, the party they had gone to was handing cups out like Halloween candy. A Valentine’s Day rager, and it had been fun, John had had fun. He didn’t even remember getting into the jeep that night, just knew that Ham was taking them home. It was no different than any other night the three of them ended up going out together. It just had a vastly different ending than the other nights they had had in the past.

“I don’t want to go Gale.” John whispers as he sits there, the blond sitting on the side of the bed. Brushing his fingers, coated with John’s orange scented pomade, through his curls to get them tamed. The blond takes a deep breath as he looks at the older boy, seeing the terror in his eyes. John had been quiet lately, but Gale had also not wanted to pry, he was there for John if he needed him. Gale leans forward and rests his forehead against John’s gently, breathing deeply.

“I know you don’t…we can call Paula and tell her it isn’t going to work out. It’s up to you John.” The younger says softly, bringing his clean hand up to gently massage the other boy’s neck. Rubbing his thumb into the side under his ear softly, feeling the deep breath that John drags in. Lips quivering as he tries not to cry, blinking away the hot wetness burning his eyeballs.

He had chosen to wear his glasses today, his eyes were too dry to put his contacts in. Both boys look over when there’s a knock on the door, seeing Curt standing there in his own suit. They all looked like they were dressed for a funeral, and they were in a sense. The funeral of a friendship that was forged on unhealthy habits, murdered by a careless set of hands.

“You twos ready to go?” Curt asks quietly, his entire demeanor had changed over the last few weeks. His eyes weren’t as bright, the bags under them returning, he was having nightmares again. Something John felt awful about, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough to help his friend. Not the way Curt could with him, they had shared a bed a few times when Ken or Gale weren’t over. Just needing someone else there to help shake them awake from whatever hell was playing in their minds that night.

“Are you ready John?” Gale questions, looking at his boyfriend’s profile, watching as he stares at Curt. Before he’s turning his head to look at Gale, nodding softly and seeing the nod he gets in return. The three of them head out of the apartment, going for Curt’s car, Ken had to work but would be meeting them there. Gale is climbing into the back once John is situated in the front seat.

Reaching up to gently take John’s hand in his own, before he’s resting his other hand on Curt’s elbow. The oldest boy driving them to the court house, seeing Ken’s car and parking nearby. Just in case Curt couldn’t drive home afterwards, Paula and Wesley both waiting by the elevators for them.

“Good morning boys, thank you for coming here today. I know it isn’t easy, today is going to be a lot of us lawyers talking. Deliberating, arguing, we most likely won’t be needing to hear from either of you. Tomorrow will be the testimonies, that’s when we’ll potentially call you up to the stand. The defendant’s team hasn’t fully stated if they’ll pull both of you, one of you, or neither of you up. But it’ll be just like we’ve been practicing. Hopefully we won’t need three days, hopefully we can get this settled today or tomorrow.“ Paula says as she looks at the four of them, nodding softly as she connects eyes with Curt and John. Before they’re turning and stepping into the elevator, holding the door so John can get wheeled in. The small group making their way through the halls, Paula’s heels clicking. While Wesley walks next to her talking quietly, holding file folders of information. Curt and Ken holding hands while they walk next to John and Gale, the blond gently resting his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Deep breaths boys, we’re with you every step of the way. You’ll be in the seats behind us, we special requested space for your chair to fit John.” Wesley says as he looks at the boy, making him nod softly. He was getting used to being treated like he was a special case, like he needed to be handled with kid gloves. It happened at the grocery store, the restaurants, even the doctor’s office a few times. The doors get opened for them to walk in, going to find their seats. Ken on one side of Curt, while Gale sits on the other side of John. Keeping their boys between them, hands being held in laps quietly.

They wait silently together, Paula and Wesley sitting in front of them at their table. Going over notes, referencing things, speaking in a jargon none of the boys can understand. Gale turns his head when he hears the doors opening again, seeing more people walking in. It isn’t until he feels John stiffen next to him, and Curt’s whispered obscenity. That Gale is turning his head back to look at John, the color from his face having completely drained. Jaw clenched so tightly he’s worried the older boy might crack a tooth. The blond is turning his head back to try and see, before it’s like the Red Sea is parting. And a tall, lanky blond boy is being shown to his critical gaze, he sees a scar running the side of his face. Before he’s opening his mouth to say something to his lawyer, a golden tooth being exposed.

John’s stomach is in knots, his hand is gripping his thigh tightly, finger tips digging into the muscle. Eyes watching as Ham walks into the court room, his hair still having the same cut, longer on the top than on the sides. But he’s got a scar that’s running the length of his cheek now, that stupid gold tooth still in place. He looks like this is another Tuesday for him, being led to the other side of the room. Not even sparing a glance at John and Curt, talking with his lawyers. He looks down when he feels a hand wrapping around his, Gale’s fingers gently prying his away from his leg.

Slotting together so that he can squeeze his boy’s hand instead of his own leg. He feels Curt’s hand coming down to wrap around his own, a little quiver to the other boy’s arm. Ken on his other side murmuring softly in Curt’s ear, his arm having wound around the black haired boy’s waist. John turns his head back to look at Gale, seeing the worried expression in his blue eyes. Breathing deeply and loosening his grip on the blond’s hand, before he feels the soothing swipes of Gale’s thumb brushing across his knuckles.

“I love you.” Gale whispers before their attention is getting pulled to the front as a judge enters the room. The older woman going to her seat, everyone having risen once she entered. Everyone except for John, and when everyone sits down, he feels it. Eyes are on him, lifting his head he sees Ham staring at him from his seat. An almost impassive expression on the golden blond haired boy’s face, before he’s looking away in disinterest.

People are talking around him, but it’s all buzzing in his ears. Hearing Paula’s voice, but not able to make out what she’s saying. The other lawyer making his case to the jury, men and women who have no idea what happened. They have no idea how much John’s life got flipped upside down, they have no idea what was taken from him that night. It leaves John floundering slightly as he sits there, eyes unseeing, brain unable to compute what he’s hearing. It’s mindless chatter at this point, the only thing John can feel is the swiping of Gale’s thumb over his pulse point.

—————————

“It’s up to you both if you want to read off your statements, the other lawyer isn’t interested in you testifying. But, I think the jury needs to hear from you both, I think it would help. It makes it more personal, makes it more human.” Wesley says as the little group sits in a conference room eating lunch the next day. The day before had been filled with information, facts being spewed from both sides. John had filtered in and out for the majority of it, he couldn’t bring himself to pay too much attention. But today was different, today him and Curt would potentially be taking the stand to read their ‘Victim Impact Statements’. Curt scoffs softly from where he’s sitting, poking around at the Chinese food in front of him.

“What you want is us to get up there and cry; to tell them how I still have nightmares of that night. You want John to wheel up there so the jury feels bad. So they can see how fucked we both are.” The black haired boy states, a bitter edge to his tone, dropping his chopsticks. Rising from his seat and muttering about the bathroom before he’s out of the room. Ken murmuring a soft apology before he’s getting up to follow his boyfriend. Gale watching them both go, chewing on his lower lip as he sits there. Before he turns his head to look at John, seeing the way he’s pushing around his noodles. A frown on his face, eyebrows bunched together, Paula clears her throat softly.

“It would garner sympathy to have you go up and read. But it would also show the jury exactly what he took from you. I’ve read your statement John, he didn’t just take your ability to walk. He broke a friendship, he showed how negligent he is, he could have killed you that night. It shows them how strong you are, to be sitting here today, to have the guts to go up there and tell them. It makes him look at you, it makes him face a consequence. Something he has never had to do, it makes it real, and he can’t argue that. They can’t argue with the medical documents, they can’t argue with the proof sitting right in front of them.” Paula states, looking at the wheel chair bound boy, he takes a deep shuddering breath. Setting his own chopsticks down and lifting his head to meet her gaze. Emotion clear on his features, deep blue eyes a little watery, she nods softly at him. Gently offering him a napkin to wipe his face with, Gale softly resting his hand between John’s shoulders. Rubbing gently, bringing his hand up to carefully scratch through the back of John’s curls.

“It’s up to you sweetheart, nobody is forcing you to do this.” Gale says softly as he presses a kiss to the side of John’s head. The older boy turning his face and taking a few deep breaths, the familiar vanilla and citrus scent of Gale bringing his heart rate down. His face tucked into the blond’s throat, Gale’s chin resting over John’s head. His fingers still massaging and scratching through the base of Bucky’s curls. The four of them sitting in the quiet conference room, waiting for Curt and Ken to come back. The door opening a little while later, Curt’s face having been washed, Ken’s shirt a little wet from the older boy’s tears.

“I’m reading my statement…even if you don’t Curt. He deserves to hear and see what he did to me. I’ll support you in whatever you choose to do.” John voices softly as he looks at his best friend, the other black haired boy staring at him. Nodding his head slightly in agreement, wiping his face while sitting down. Taking a deep breath as he adjusts his suit jacket, brushing down his tie. Ken softy brushes Curt’s hair back, fixing it back into its even coif.

“I’ll read mine too, you’re right John. He deserves to see and hear what he put us through.” Paula nods softly and smiles a bit as she looks at them, sitting back in her chair. Murmuring something to Wesley, the brunet man getting up quietly and leaving the room. Gale runs his thumb over John’s jaw gently, feeling the barely there stubble poking back at him. John had been too tired to shave his face that morning, declining when Gale offered to help him. The blond boy gently slides John’s glass of water to him, knowing he’s not been drinking enough. John looks at him before he reaches for Gale’s water, sliding it over to the blond.

“What…Benny? Little John what are you two doing here?” John asks as he sees the two in the lobby of the court house, Meatball sitting patiently next to Benny. Gale smiling softly when he sees them, Brady giving him a brave smile. His and Benny’s pinkies interlocked as they stand side by side, not quite touching but close enough.

“Gale told me about a therapy dog that helped you while you were in rehab. I thought it would be good to have him come to the courtroom today to sit with you.” Wesley states as he looks at John, nodding softly and smiling gently. John looking up at his boyfriend, seeing the little bashful expression on his face. Everyone else beginning to head into the room, John gently grabbing for Gale’s fingers. The blond boy stops and turns back to look at the older boy, a furrow to his eyebrows as he assesses what he can without words.

“I haven’t thanked you for doing all of this. For being here for me…these last few weeks would have been a lot harder without you. Thank you Gale, I love you.” John says softly before he’s leaning up to tilt his head for a kiss, Gale melting a little. Stepping forward and pressing his lips against John’s, cupping his cheek softly and brushing his thumb against the bone sitting there. Their foreheads pressing together for just a moment before Gale is standing up again, straightening out John’s tie. Brushing his hands over his shoulders, both of them taking deep breaths.

“I love you too John.” Gale replies before they’re heading into the courtroom, going to find their seats. Meatball happily sitting next to Curt now, the boy petting between his ears softly. Everyone waiting for the judge to come back into the room, Gale carefully helping John situate himself. Meatball inching closer so he’s sitting between John and Curt now, Benny and Brady in the seats behind them. Brady gently touches John’s shoulder, getting the older boy to turn as much as his stiff shoulders will allow. Smiling gratefully at the younger brunet, before the judge is entering from her chambers.

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‘I Curtis J Biddick, stand before you today to talk to you about the effects of the event that happened on February 14th, 2024. I was in a car accident with two of my best friends, drunk driving to be specific. I was sitting in the backseat behind the driver, Howard Hamilton, and while I sustained minimal physical injury. A broken nose, whiplash, concussion, and some stitches. My mental health deteriorated because of it, I’ve had nightmares, PTSD episodes, anxiety attacks, and I couldn’t drive in a car for almost two months afterwards. I still remember the smell of the engine burning, the sounds of John screaming, I couldn’t see anything because of the concussion. I couldn’t get out of the car because my seatbelt locked itself, I had to wait and listen as John screamed. He screamed himself hoarse until he passed out, and the ambulances arrived. They had to cut me out of the car, I remember the helicopter landing in the road. Having to airlift John out because of how injured he was. I’m here today to tell you that what I did was wrong, I got into a car after drinking. I shouldn’t have done that, I should have called an Uber or walked home. I made my choices and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.’

‘I, John Clarence Egan, am in front of you today because of a drunk driving accident that took place on February 14th, 2024. I was a passenger in the vehicle, that Howard Hamilton was driving, and when we hit the tree, my belt snapped. Sending me flying through the windshield, I don’t remember anything after that moment. But I do remember waking up in the hospital almost six days later, with my sister sitting next to me. Crying because she didn’t know if I was going to wake up, doctors and nurses couldn’t give her an answer. I remember the neurosurgeon coming into my room and telling me that I was partially paralyzed from the waist down. I remember not being able to feel my legs for almost two weeks, and when the feeling did come back, it’s now a tingling feeling constantly. I lived in a rehabilitation facility for almost six months, learning how to take care of myself again. Learning how to shower by myself, use the restroom by myself, having to complete hours upon hours of physical therapy. Taking copious different medications to manage the pain that I’m in every day, while still having to figure out how I’m going to get around. I’ve lived 189 days in this chair now, learning to become a new version of myself because I made a bad choice. I got into a car when I shouldn’t have, I trusted someone I shouldn’t have. I made a mistake and I’m paying for that every single day that I’m breathing.’

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“We the jury, find Howard B. Hamilton guilty in the following charges: operating a vehicle while intoxicated, operating a vehicle while intoxicated with passengers, assault with a vehicle while intoxicated, property damage while operating a vehicle while intoxicated.” The lead juror says as she stands, holding the slip of paper. Curt letting out the breath he was holding, while John’s jaw drops just slightly. Gale squeezing his hand gently, all of them turning their gazes to look at the judge. Seeing her writing on slips of paper, signing her name on things.

“These acts will all be punishable with up to five years in prison, eligible for parole after two and a half years have been served, 100,000 dollars in fines, as well as awarding 50,000 dollars to both Curtis J Biddick and John C Egan each. Court adjourned.” The judge says as she smacks her gavel down, Ham’s jaw having dropped as he sat there. His lawyers talking to one another, looking a little frantic. Paula and Wesley both turning to look at their little ragtag group. Ken hugging a sobbing Curt, trying to soothe the boy with tender touches. While Gale is hugging John, the boy in complete shock as he sits there, his arms loosely around his boyfriend’s waist.

“Are you okay?” Gale asks as he hugs John, gripping him tightly, feeling the little nod John gives him. Pulling away to look at the black haired boy’s face, brushing his hair back from his forehead. Worried at the off centered look in John’s eyes, but knowing the last almost seven weeks has been a handful. The older boy just needing a minute to take everything in, to work through it and process it.

Curt turns his body to wrap John in a hug, squeezing him while he takes in shuddering breaths. Ken and Gale both sharing a look, knowing that just because this portion of their life is a closed chapter for the moment. The aftermath of it won’t be, it’ll take time for it to mend itself back together. Both of the blonds knowing they’re going to be dealing with the effects from all of this for a little while. The four of them getting ready to head out of the court house, both Janie and Janelle waiting at John and Curt’s apartment. Brady and Benny heading over with Meatball, dinner having been ordered for them all.

Gale carefully helps John move his chair, having been slightly wedged in today. Curt and Ken saying they’re going to get the car, but really just needing a minute away from all the noise. While Paula turns her body to look at the boys, patting Curt’s shoulder gently and nodding at him. Before she’s looking at John, Gale helping him into the aisle now.

“Oh, John, I meant to tell you this earlier, if you ever want to take your medical malpractice suit to court. You give me a call, I will gladly take your case pro bono. What happened to you in the hospital was not okay, and you deserve something from it. Even if it’s just peace of mind that those assholes won’t ever touch another patient.” Paula says as she looks at the boy, Gale’s eyebrows furrowing as he looks at her.

Confused before he’s turning his head to look back at John, seeing the shocked expression on John’s face as well. The platinum blonde woman nods her head softly at him, before she’s slipping her card into his hand. Wesley stepping back over to take her attention towards himself, discussing a few last minute paperwork details. John slowly beginning to wheel himself out of the court room with Gale right on his heels.

“What is she talking about John? What medical malpractice issues?” The younger boy asks, following his boyfriend to the parking garage. Ken having taken Curt with him, Curt leaving his keys with Gale to bring John home. The black haired boy makes a quiet sound, shrugging just a little bit. Pushing the button for the elevator to take them down to the ground floor. Both of them getting into the lift once the doors have opened.

“I don’t remember most of it Buck, so it wouldn’t matter anyways. Can’t testify for something I don’t remember.” John explains once the doors have closed and they’re the only two in the elevator. Gale looking at him, his lean arms crossed over his chest, frowning softly. Knowing exactly what John is doing, the set to his shoulders telling Gale everything he needed to know. John may not have remembered everything that happened, but he remembered enough of it for him to push it down.

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“You didn’t have to bring her flowers Buck, honestly I think she’s just happy I’m finally coming home.” John says as Gale pulls Curt’s highlander into the Egan’s driveway, staring up at the beautiful cream colored house. The lawn well cared for, rose bushes in full bloom, a white picket fence surrounding the front yard. John looks up from where he’s been staring at the beautiful bouquet of flowers Gale picked out for his mom. Seeing Janelle bounding out onto the porch with a wide smile on her face, waving happily at them.

“I know I didn’t have to bring her flowers. But it was the polite thing to do John.” Gale replies as he parks the car, breathing deeply and looking at his boyfriend. Seeing him staring at the porch, a frown etched onto John’s face. Gale looking over to see Janelle, before he sees the stairs, four wooden steps that would create a very big obstacle. Taking a deep breath he gets out of the car, going around back to grab John’s chair. Janelle stepping down from the porch to come and help them both, a little pep to her step like always.

“I don’t know how I’m going to get up the stairs.” John states once he’s transferred himself into his chair, Gale looking at the wooden steps again before he looks at his boyfriend. Chewing on his lower lip and taking a deep breath, Janelle humming softly next to them. John looking up when the screen door opens and shows off his mother stepping onto the porch. A pretty blue sun dress covering her body, white apron wrapped around her waist, a smile gracing her lips.

“Is that my Johnny?!” She calls before heading down the stairs, Gale watching as she walks over. Her black curly hair pinned up, makeup on her face, red lipstick painting her full lips. Gale could see where John got some of his features, they had the same eyes, even the same cheekbones. Their hair looked similar enough, but she looked more like Janie did. Janelle must look like their father and John was a mixture of both of his parents. The woman stood in front of her son, smiling softly as she looks at him, before she’s wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Squeezing him tightly to her body, Gale not missing the wince that crosses John’s expression.

“Hi ma…Gale this is Dorris Egan, Dorris Egan this is Gale, my boyfriend.” John introduces once she’s let him go, Gale watching as she stands up straight. She couldn’t be more than 5 feet tall, John was nearly the same height as her while sitting in his chair. He could see where Janelle got her height from, both of them were small in stature. Mrs. Egan just had a wider set of hips, a more motherly figure, while Janelle was still a slightly awkward 17 year old girl. The woman turns her face to look up at him, startling blue eyes staring at him. Making him almost want to shy away, before she’s suddenly stepping around her son’s chair to hug him too.

“It’s so nice to meet you Gale, Johnny has told me a lot about you.” She coos, gently patting his back before she lets him go. Stepping back to look at her son again, smiling when she sees him. Before Gale is offering the flowers up to her, his heart pitter pattering in his chest. Stomach in knots, his palms were a little sweaty while he stared at his boyfriend’s mother. He didn’t know the full story on why she never came to visit John in rehab, or since he’d been home honestly. But he did know that John loved her, he spoke of her in a tender voice. Not as fondly as he spoke of Janie, or even Janelle at times, but she was still his mom.

“John told me you have a green thumb. And I thought they looked beautiful.” Gale says smiling at her, she hums appreciatively. Accepting them from him and giving them a sniff, Janelle holding in her giggle at just how nervous the blond is. Sharing a look with her brother, before everyone is heading for the stairs. Gale and John staring at them, wishing briefly they could have gone to a restaurant instead. Janelle chews on her lower lip, while Mrs. Egan turns to look down at them from the top of the stairs.

“Oh…maybe the back steps would be better? Not as steep…you’ll just have to get through the grass.” The woman says, a frown etching onto her features as she looks at the three of them. John taking a deep breath and nodding his head a bit, wheeling himself backwards before trying to head towards the backyard. Gale and Janelle both following him, Gale quietly going to push his chair through the uneven ground.

“I told her, I told her to tell dad to get a ramp thing. Even just one of those folding ones, but she doesn’t listen to me.” Janelle grumbles as she walks next to John, the black haired boy grunting at the dip in the grass jarring his spine. Gale murmuring a soft apology, trying to keep it as smooth as possible as they go. Mrs. Egan already waiting at the back door for them, holding open the screen door. Before Gale is pulling John backwards to the bottom step, John frowning a little bit as he looks up at his boyfriend.

“I’ve been meaning to go to the gym anyways.” The blond insists, making a little smile crack his boyfriend’s face, a fond roll of his eyes following. Before they are working to get John up the back steps, two concrete steps leading up onto a wood floor. Gale grunting softly as he works, Janelle making sure John doesn’t spill out the front, while John tries to help anyway he can. Guilt sitting heavy in his stomach like a fist, knowing he should have suggested something else. Gale lets out a soft puff of air once they’ve gotten him into the house, leaning on the chair for just a second.

“I tried to make it as accessible as possible. But, you know mom and her stuff.” Janelle apologizes as she looks at her brother, closing the door behind herself. Mrs. Egan off getting Gale a glass of water, the black haired boy looks at his sister. Before he’s trying to look at his boyfriend, listening to the little panting breaths that Gale is releasing. Sweat having beaded on his brow, strands of hair having come loose from his low bun.

“I’m sorry baby.” John murmurs, the blond shaking his head quickly. Standing up straight when they hear Mrs. Egan coming into the back area again. Her shoes clicking on the floor as she walks, her voice carrying as she goes. John brings Gale’s hand up to press a soft, apologetic kiss to the inner part of his wrist. Feeling how fast and hard the blond’s heart is thudding through his pulse.

“I hope you like steak Gale, I’m making a steak dinner tonight. To celebrate Johnny coming home.” Mrs. Egan says as she offers up the glass of water to him, the boy taking it and sipping at it slowly. A nervous bubble forming in his stomach at having to eat in front of them, almost everyone he ate with knew of his battle. But he didn’t think that John had told his family, at the little glance John sends his way he knows he didn’t.

“Yes Mrs. Egan, steak sounds lovely. Thank you.” Gale responds, smiling at her sweetly before she’s hushing him slightly. Waving her hand and insisting he call her Dorris or Mama Egan as Curt calls her all of the time. It isn’t long before John and Gale are finding themselves in the living room, one of the chairs having been pushed to the side by Janelle. Mrs. Egan coming out a few minutes later, cooing about a photo album. Causing a low groan to come from deep within John’s chest, his ears beginning to turn red.

“Johnny was such a cute baby, look at him.” Mrs. Egan hums as she shows Gale pictures, sitting near him. The blond smiling as he looks, chuckling when he sees a baby John, the same blue eyes. And the same Dumbo ears, tufts of lighter brown hair on his head, a smile on his face. Flipping through pages to see lots of them filled with John and Janie, the older girl doting on him in the majority of them. John groaning again when they get to pictures of him as a child, these ones having Curt in them now. Some of them with Janie and a baby Janelle at certain points, Gale chuckling when he sees one of John and Curt naked getting ready to jump off a dock.

“Oh I swear, Curt was like my second son. He came everywhere with us, we took him up to the lake cabin with us every summer. His Nan is a sweet lady, and he’s a sweet boy too.” John and Gale share a look, stifling laughter as they think of said ‘sweet boy’. Mrs. Egan flipping more pages slowly, smiling as she gets to John’s middle school years. Little John in football gear next to Curt, both of them smiling widely. Braces on John’s teeth, the rubber bands matching his football jersey colors. Going through more pages, shows John aging, growing more into a gangly limbed teenager. The progression slightly shocking to Gale, seeing as John becomes more and more broad. Towering over his sisters and Curt in pictures, something Gale has never seen before. Having never seen John stand fully straight, anytime he had to transfer he hunched his shoulders from the pain.

“Dad’s home.” Janelle announces as she comes down the stairs a little while later, Mrs. Egan having gone to the kitchen to begin dinner preparations. Leaving Gale with another photo album to flip through, this one a lot of Curt and John through the years. John murmuring about the memories, filling in any blanks that arise. Telling Gale about the lake cabin, how it would be nice to go back, it was his favorite place to be. He loved hiking the trails, him and Curt would find a new one every summer.

“Hi dear, did you have a good day?” Mrs. Egan asks from the kitchen, John tensing slightly at the sound of the door closing. Knowing his dad went through the garage to come inside, he always did. Always parked the car in the garage, undid his tie in the car, grabbed his brief case, and came inside with his suit jacket over his arm. Before he’d come into the dining room and then the kitchen to press a kiss to his wife’s cheek. She always had dinner on the table 30 minutes after he’d get home, give him enough time to freshen up. Before he’d even say hello to any of his children, the first time he’d see them for the day would be at the dinner table waiting for him.

“Yes dear, whose car is that in the driveway?” John Sr asks as he sets down his brief case on the bench by the garage door. Janelle rolling her eyes slightly, her father knew exactly who was over for a visit. She had written it on the calendar hanging by the fridge in big bubble letters. She had even written it on the monthly calendar she did at John and Curt’s house. A giant whiteboard sitting in their kitchen area, color coded, housing everyone’s schedules. Just like she did for rehab, but this time she left room for Gale to add little doodles if he wanted. Curt always ended up writing some curse word on there, he came up with some very creative ones.

“Oh it’s Curt’s car, but Johnny and Gale burrowed it for the day to come see us. You remember don’t you honey? They’re having dinner here tonight.” Mrs. Egan says, receiving a hum of recognition from her husband. Before he’s going to do his routine, Gale looking at John in slight confusion. The older boy shaking his head a bit, knowing his dad inside and out by now. He knew the man did not deviate from his after work routine, he wasn’t expecting to see him until dinner. Janelle huffs softly and looks at her brother before looking at Gale and going into detail about it all.

“Janelle please come set the table!” Mrs. Egan calls about 20 minutes later, the girl getting up from her spot in the chair. Heading for the dining room, the sound of some chairs scraping loudly being heard. John chuckling softly at his sister’s antics, knowing she’s doing it on purpose to piss their dad off. Gale raising his eyebrows as he looks at his boyfriend again, seeing the little smirk on his lips. John slowly navigates his chair towards the dining room, trying not to run into anything. While Gale walks behind him, making sure if he does bump into anything he can fix it right away. The house was immaculate, he didn’t even see dust on the banisters.

“Gale, this is John Sr, John Sr this is Gale…my boyfriend.” John says once they are in the dining room, Gale looking up to meet steel blue eyes. Gale had never believed in someone’s stare being cold before, but that was exactly what John Sr’s eyes reminded him of. They were analyzing everything, looking over Gale like he was a number to crunch. Suddenly Gale feels self conscious, he should have checked his hair in the bathroom, or he should have worn a different shirt. He doesn’t want to break the eye contact first, doesn’t want to seem weak in front of the older man.

“Hello Gale, you can call me Mr. Egan. My son doesn’t have very good manners it would seem.” John holds back his sigh, adjusting himself in his chair and making sure he doesn’t hit the table at all. Trying not to disrupt his mother’s hard work, the table set beautifully, food waiting to be had. All of it smelt like home, it made John miss his mother’s cooking, but it also brought back the memories of tense dinners. Which was how this one was beginning to feel, Gale sitting across from him by Janelle. John Sr at the head of the table with Dorris sitting on his right, Janelle on his left.

“Hello Mr. Egan, thank you for having me.” Gale says nodding softly as he looks at the older man, before Mrs. Egan is serving everyone food. John Sr watching his son, an unreadable emotion in his eyes. Seeing how John’s hands shake just a little while he helps his mother by passing a few dishes. The barely there hunch to his shoulders, the rise and fall of John’s chest, Janelle cutting up her own food.

Before John Sr is looking at Gale, seeing the little squirm to his body. The blond shifting in his seat once Dorris has filled his plate with food. Looking slightly uncomfortable as he picks up his fork, causing John Sr to raise his eyebrow. Cutting into his own steak, watching the blond boy, seeing the way he’s chewing slowly. John looking at the other boy, a slightly worried expression on his face as he eats his own food. Wishing he could put his foot over to touch Gale, wanting to give him comfort somehow.

“Is your food not good Gale?” John Sr asks, looking at the boy before he eats another piece of his steak. Mrs. Egan looking up from her own plate, eyebrows furrowing as she looks at the blond boy. Watching the way Gale raises his head, eyes slightly widened as he sits there. Swallowing his food slowly, and clearing his throat, already shaking his head.

“N no Mr. Egan, it’s wonderful. Thank you Mrs. Egan for cooking such an amazing meal.” Gale responds, his stomach twisting uncomfortably, Janelle frowning a bit as she sits there. Looking at her father, getting ready to open her mouth before John is beating her to it.

“Leave him be, he’s eating his food. It’s really good ma, thank you.” The black haired boy says as he looks at his mother, making his father turn his critical gaze on him. John feeling his shoulders tense, he didn’t want his father ripping Gale apart. Especially not with how much progress Gale had been making recently when it came to eating. He had been working hard with Maureen, even gaining a few pounds since he’d been released from rehab and John was incredibly proud of him.

“How much longer will you be in the chair John? Your mother has been talking about going to church again as a family, and she wants you there.“ John feels his jaw tense at the question, he didn’t talk about religion with anyone. He had a complicated relationship with it, especially after the accident. His mom had begged him to let the pastor from their church come in to pray over him. John had refused every time, he did not want someone praying over him. He had never believed there was a God out there, and the accident solidified that for him. If there was a God, then why would He take away John’s future the way He did?

“I don’t know…the physical therapists are working on it. You know how I feel about going to church.” John says the ending softly, not wanting to upset his mother or hurt her feelings. His eyes closing as he hears his father setting down his knife and fork. The clatter of the metal against the glass bringing him back to his childhood. He knew if he looked up, his dad would have his hands interlaced over his plate. With his steel blue eyes looking directly at his son with the disapproving look that John had gotten pretty good at ignoring.

“And how do you feel about church and God John? You were raised in a Catholic home, you should be at church every week. Especially considering everything.” Janelle’s fingers clench slightly on the table, Gale having stopped eating. Looking between the two black haired men, seeing as John’s shoulders drop just slightly. Watching as John Sr waits for his answer, his bushy eyebrow raised in questioning. John opening his eyes to look at his father, his mouth set into a slight scowl. Setting his own cutlery down on the table, seeing how his mother shifts next to him.

“None of this would have happened if you hadn’t of laid with a man. I know this boy here isn’t your first, I always told your mother to not let that Biddick boy stay over so often. This is your punishment, your future is gone, you now have to face those consequences. Going to church to repent for your sins will make you feel better.” John Sr continues speaking, Gale’s stomach revolts slightly. Fighting the urge to let his jaw drop, his eyes flicking over to his boyfriend. Watching as he takes a deep breath, leaning over to press a kiss to his mother’s cheek. Before he’s taking his napkin off of his lap, slowly pushing himself away from the table. Hands on his wheels as he tries to look over his shoulder, not wanting to run into anything.

“Thank you for dinner ma, I love you. I will see you later.” He states quietly before he’s beginning to wheel himself from the room. Gale looks at John, before he’s setting down his own silverware, knowing the boy won’t be able to make the sharp turn from the dining room into the living room. Standing quietly, murmuring his thank you to Mrs. Egan, before he’s going to help John. Janelle glaring at her father, her own steel blue eyes venomous as she pushes from the table roughly. Gale and John both out on the front porch now, Gale trying to figure out how to get them down.

“Going backwards is what’s going to be best. Can you keep your hands on the wheels so they don’t spin and knock me down?” The blond asks as he looks at his boyfriend, seeing the far off look in his eyes. His arms crossed over his chest loosely, Gale chewing on his lower lip as he carefully goes to spin the chair around. Looking up when Janelle slams the front screen open, letting it slam into the wall. Cursing softly under her breath at her father, before she’s looking at her brother and his boyfriend. Huffing quietly, stepping behind John’s chair to help Gale carefully get John down the stairs.

“Slow, don’t jostle him too much, I don’t want to jar his back. He’ll be hurting way worse later if we do.” Gale voices quietly, not wanting to talk about John right in front of him, but knowing that John isn’t there with them right now either. They get him down one step, before the door is opening again. Mrs. Egan stepping out, her face softening when she sees them. Janelle huffing quietly again, both her and Gale struggling slightly under John’s weight. The momentum of the stairs making him feel heavier combined with his chair.

“What can I do to help?” Dorris asks as she looks at them, Gale taking a deep breath, using his own body weight to keep them from tumbling backwards. Janelle using her own body to try to keep them from rolling down too fast.

“Can you grab the wheel in the front there? It’ll keep them from rolling too fast, I don’t want us all to go flying. John I need you to grab the other one…please, I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

She nods her head, stepping over to take one wheel, while John numbly brings his hand down to hold the other. Gale letting out a quiet breath, thankful that his boyfriend is present enough to help them. While John is distantly hoping nobody is outside to watch them, there was a lot of space between houses, but it didn’t mean someone wouldn’t walk by. The four of them get John and his chair down the stairs, Gale and Janelle panting softly once they’re down. Before John is carefully turning himself to begin wheeling towards Curt’s car. His mother watching him go, Janelle following him and Gale to the car just in case they need help.

“I love you J.” Janelle murmurs once he’s in the car, leaning in to give him a hug. Gale putting the wheelchair in the trunk, Mrs. Egan still standing by the steps watching them. Fighting to keep the tears out of her eyes, looking at her children with sadness. Gale closing the trunk and stepping around to the driver’s side door.

“I love you too Jelly Bean.” John responds, receiving a kiss to his forehead. Before he’s pressing one to her cheek, breathing deeply as he does. Janelle reaching across to gently grip Gale’s arm, squeezing softly and smiling at him sadly. He gives her a faint smile back, looking at John with slight worry, before he’s accepting the black haired boy’s hand in his own. Janelle gently closing the car door and watching them pull out of the driveway. Looking at her mother once they’re gone, turning around and heading inside to go straight to her room.

“Gale…I need you to pull over.” John says almost 15 minutes later, Gale turning his head in worry. Seeing the slightly pained look on John’s face, checking his mirrors before he pulls onto the side of the rural road. Farmland surrounding them, but flipping the hazards on just in case. Turning his body to look at John better, trying to assess visually what’s wrong.

“What hurts? Do you need a pain pill? I have some in the backpack.” Gale says already reaching for the bag, John making a soft sound. Trying to shift again and grunting a little bit, taking a deep breath in. Gale sitting back down to look at him again, small backpack clutched in his hands.

“I need to pee…I couldn’t go at the house, my chair didn’t fit in the doorway. And I didn’t think it’d be nice etiquette to pull out a urinal in front of my mother.” Gale squawks softly before he’s pulling the bag open and reaching in for the plastic urinal jug they keep. They always had one in the bag, just in case something happened and John couldn’t get to a bathroom. Curt constantly joked that he was going to use it, always receiving a ‘just wash it when you’re done’ from John. The blond hands over the plastic bottle, wincing as he watches John undo his jeans. Tucking and adjusting things so he can go, grimacing at the pressure on his lower stomach. Trying to lower the seat back a little, he could feel how full his bladder was.

“I…I can’t go.” John whispers, tears welling in his eyes as he sits there. Gale lifting his head from where he’s rested it against the seat, furrowing his brows in confusion. Before he sees the wetness in John’s eyes, the deep blue of his irises looking like broken shards of glass. The black haired boy letting out a little whimper, trying to focus so he can go. Gale opens the door, getting out and closing it before he’s stepping around to the passenger side. Carefully opening the door, reaching across to help John shift, getting his legs to hang outside of the open door. His other hand coming down to grab the back of John’s jeans, grunting softly as he hefts him so he’s sitting straighter.

“Gale you’re going to hurt yourself…fuck, oh fuck.” John gasps out, the shifting pushing on his full bladder, before Gale gets him into a somewhat standing position. John’s long legs able to reach the ground, straightening out his posture enough. The blond getting most of his weight to rest against the door frame of the car, keeping one arm around John’s waist. His long fingers curled into the waist band of John’s jeans and briefs, resting his forehead against the older’s upper arm. A little shudder coursing through John as he’s able to go, letting out a soft sigh of relief.

“I’m so sorry Gale…he’s, he’s never done something like that before. He, he had no right to bring up the food to you. I’m so sorry.” John blubbers out as he leans against the car, the blond humming softly as he bumps his forehead against the other’s bicep. Pressing a kiss over his long sleeve shirt, rubbing his thumb under the hem of his shirt. Breathing deeply as he lets John have a minute, before he’s carefully helping him sit on the side of the seat. Pulling his face away to look at his boyfriend, seeing the way he’s refusing to meet his gaze.

“My granny, my dad’s mom, was a religious woman. She went to church on Sunday’s and Wednesday’s, she was a die hard Christian woman. Her son was a sinner, he drank, he gambled, he cheated on his wife, he beat his son. She always spoke of sinning, but I didn’t understand why she could forgive him. It wasn’t until I was 13 that I realized she tolerated him, she never forgave him, she loved him because he was her son. She knew I was gay, told me that if she could love her sinning man of a son, then she could love me too.” Gale tells John softly, rubbing his thumb across one of the scars at the base of John’s spine. Feeling the raised skin, knowing there is a mole near the dimples in his lower back as well. Freckles dotting the skin all around, he knew John’s back well, he loved touching it. He feels the deep inhale that John takes, it raising the boy’s shoulders. Before he’s looking at John again, meeting his blue eyes.

“I lied before…my dad has always been like this. He saw Curt kiss my knee when we were 10, I fell off my bike and skinned the shit out of it. I didn’t think anything of it, not until dinner that night. When my dad made a point of telling me that sinners go to hell, and he wouldn’t have a sinner for a son. He didn’t let Curt come over for a few weeks after that, I didn’t understand. It didn’t make sense to me, he kissed my knee, it wasn’t like he had kissed me the way my dad kisses my mom. But when we went to church that weekend, the pastor talked about laying with other men. As I grew up, I realized that I would never be good enough for my dad. So I stopped trying, I kissed who I wanted to kiss. I did what I wanted to do. I think my mom always knew…but Curt and I never did anything. He just convinced himself that we did.” John murmurs as he sits there, looking at Gale with soft eyes. Reminding the blond boy of a puppy who’s just been kicked. He stands a little straighter to press his forehead against John’s softly, kissing the bridge of his nose. Both of them quiet for a few minutes, before John is shifting just slightly to dump the urinal. The boy reaching for his water bottle, rinsing out the plastic before he’s setting it down on the car floor. Grabbing for one of the napkins to dab at himself, tucking away and zipping up his jeans. Both of them leaning together for another minute, looking out at the farm lands. Already harvested for the fall season, the air holding just a bit of a chill to it.

“I love you John…and if it means we’re sinners and going to hell. Well…then I guess we better get seats together.” Gale states as he rests his temple against the other boy’s jaw, smiling as he realizes that John is in fact taller than him. He always knew he was, but the way they were leaning together it proved it to him. It wasn’t by much, but John was bigger than him in a lot of ways. And Gale wouldn’t change anything about him, he truly did love John for who he was.

“I love you too Gale…but I’m hungry…do you want to stop for sandwiches on the way home? And then go binge watch ‘Criminal Minds’?” The older boy questions looking at his boyfriend, seeing the smile on his face. One forming on his own lips before they’re leaning together for a kiss, breathing deeply.

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John Egan is 22 when he gets his first prescription for viagra, the little blue pills in their pill bottle staring back at him. Him and Gale had a pretty amazing sex life, if he did say so himself. His dick may not get hard all of the way, but he still managed to make the blond feel good. He had never bottomed before being with Gale, any guy he had been with had wanted his dick inside of them instead. Gale was attentive, he was inventive too, pillows became their best friend. John’s chair had seen more than it should have, cum was incredibly easy to wipe off of the material so it would seem. They had a plethora of toys, some John had never even considered when he wasn’t in a wheel chair. John could move his hips enough to push back a bit, but that was mostly his arms doing the work. His legs had the sensations in them, but he couldn’t move them too much. It made him feel guilty that Gale was almost always on top, or they were on their sides.

That was why he had brought it up to his doctor in the first place, the little blue pills. He wanted to show Gale he could give just as good as he could get. Not that the blond had ever told him different, he had never made him feel badly about his issues. But Gale’s birthday was coming up, and he wanted to make it special, he wanted to dick his boyfriend down. With more than just a silicone dildo, he wanted to have an actual hard on. He wanted to see Gale’s face when he sunk into him, he wanted to experience that with him. He wanted to feel like a normal, sexually active 22 year old.

“You look like you’re thinking which is never a good thing.” Gale says as he comes into the apartment, unwinding his scarf from his throat. School satchel over his shoulder while he slides out of his boots, hanging up his coat on the hook. John looks up from where he’s got the pill bottle sitting on the table, chuckling softly before he’s tucking it into his hoodie pocket. He would never get over how sass was essentially Gale’s form of language. It rolled right off of his tongue so well it was like second nature to him, and John supposed it most likely was. A shield for Gale, so he didn’t have to be vulnerable, a sharp tongue kept people at bay.

“I uh, saw my primary doctor today. He was happy with the progress I’ve made, said something about being nine and a half months out from the accident and able to shuffle four steps is impressive. I guess anyways. Won’t know much more until I go see Dr. Campbell in January.” John tells him, watching as Gale comes closer, a few school books in his hands. Setting them down on the breakfast bar before he’s stepping over to kiss John’s forehead. The black haired boy tilting his head slightly for a proper kiss, lips pressing together while Gale’s cold hand cups his cheek. Sending a shiver down his spine, goosebumps popping up on his skin at the contact.

“You’re still doing well, barely need my help anymore when you transfer. You should be proud of yourself John.” The blond says as he looks at his boyfriend, voice down in a soft tone. One he reserves specifically for John, making a soft smile cross over the older boy��s face. John can feel the little flush working its way over the tips of his ears, sure that it’ll spread to his throat. Feeling as Gale tangles their fingers on the table between them, little smiles gracing both of their faces.

—————————

John is frustrated, he’s more than frustrated, but it’s the best word he can think of. Looking at his email and swiping it again to see if something has updated. He lets out a soft growl when he sees it hasn’t changed since he got the original email. Everything was seeming to fall apart at the seams, he had placed the order back in November. With a promised delivery of the week before Gale’s birthday, and here it is, Gale’s birthday, and his package won’t be there. Not until after the New Year now, it was throwing a giant wrench in his plans. He looks over as the door to the bathroom opens, showing off Gale fresh from a shower. Toweling his hair off, one of John’s shirts on his upper body, a pair of his own briefs on his lower half.

One of his only requests for his birthday was to stay in with John, he didn’t want to go out. He didn’t want to have a party, he wanted to stay home. He wanted to spend all day in bed with John, or in the apartment anyways. Curt and Ken were at Ken’s family’s house for Christmas until the 30th, Janelle and Janie had been by for Christmas Eve. Marge, her newish girlfriend Helen, Brady, Benny, and Meatball had been over for Christmas Day. It had been a busy few days and they still had a mini Christmas celebration to do when Ken and Curt got back.

“Why are you frowning? Did you finish your show?” Gale asks as he sets the towel over the hamper to hang dry, hating when towels got bundled up while they’re wet. John was notorious for it, and Curt was just as bad, both of them had been reprimanded by the blond multiple times. John tosses his phone onto the nightstand, taking a deep breath and sighing softly. Feeling as Gale climbs into the bed by him, the few hickies John had left on his collar bones poking out from the shirt. He had woken Gale up to a beautiful hand job, getting the blond up to rock into his mouth was not difficult to do. Having Gale perched over his chest, thighs making the perfect ear muffs for John. He could still feel the slight burn of Gale pressing into his throat every time he swallowed.

“John?”

“I ordered a thing for your birthday and it’s not going to be here until after the New Year. I ordered it in November and it was supposed to be here last week. I just got the email saying it won’t be here on time and they’re refunding me my money.” Gale stares at him for a minute, not quite understanding why John is so upset, if it’s a gift he can get it later. But judging by the way John has his arms crossed over his chest, lips pressed out in a pout. It’s more than just a gift for Gale, the blond hums softly and nods slowly.

“And…this thing you ordered…it means a lot to you? You know, I don’t need any gifts. I’m pretty sure I specifically said no gifts, and all of you got me something anyways. I know you’re hiding something in your closet for me.” John squawks a bit at that, frowning again at his boyfriend, blowing out a puff of air. Rolling his neck slightly to stare up at the ceiling for just a minute, rubbing his hands across his face. Gale waits patiently, chewing on his lower lip as he does. He didn’t understand why everyone was making a big deal out of him turning 20, it wasn’t that big of a deal in his opinion.

“It was something for us to use together…when I went to the doctor back in November, I asked him if he could prescribe me something to help…get my dick hard all of the way. As soon as I was out of the appointment and on my way home, I ordered this chair that is supposed to be an accessibility tool. I wanted to be able to give to you as good as you give to me, I wanted to dick you down Gale. But they fucked up and now the fucking chair isn’t going to be here. My plans for today are ruined…and yes you do have another gift in the closet. Two actually, because I’m going to spoil you whether you like it or not.” John states as he sits there, letting out a deep breath, before he looks at his boyfriend again. Seeing the way Gale’s eyebrows are scrunched in confusion, John sighing softly and reaching for his phone. Pulling up the email, clicking a few buttons so he can pull up the pictures of the chair. Handing his phone over so Gale can look at it, watching his eyebrows scrunch together.

“So…you got medicine…so you could be the one to top? And you think a chair not being here is what’s going to stop us? John…I love you. But sometimes I swear you really are a big dumb boy. You’ve seen me ride a dildo on your thigh, why on earth would you think I wouldn’t ride your cock? Do you know how often I’ve thought of it? Fuck John.” The blond says, dropping the phone to lean over to kiss his boyfriend, sucking on his lower lip and nipping. One of his hands going to tangle up in John’s hair, tugging and pulling slightly. The older boy moaning lowly at the pleasurable pain zinging through him, arousal sinking slowly into his groin. His own hands coming up to hold Gale’s trim waist, squeezing slightly. Pulling him closer to himself and groaning at the feel of the boy already half hard in his briefs.

“I wanted to be the one on top for once…you’re always doing all the work. Wanted to spoil you for your birthday.” John admits, moaning as he feels Gale bite at the hinge of his jaw. The blond didn’t usually leave visible marks, but feeling him straddling John’s thigh to get closer. Pushing up against him to grind, hands tilting his head back to bite and suck another mark into his throat. It all has John going a little dizzy, arousal thrumming through his veins. Before he’s smacking his hand towards his nightstand, trying to grab the pill bottle to take one.

“You are spoiling me…trust me, I don’t mind being on top. I’ve never been good at being told what to do.” Gale states with a wicked little smile forming on his lips, leaning in and kissing John again. Sucking and biting at his plush lower lip, moaning at the whine that leaves John’s mouth. Finally separating long enough for John to get the bottle, dumping a pill into his palm and grabbing his water bottle. Taking it before reaching back for the bottle of lube, turning his head back to face Gale. Seeing the flush on his cheeks, pupils blown wide, his own lips a little swollen and slick looking.

“When the chair comes in…you’re laying over Rodney and I’m fucking you.” John tells him, getting Gale to let out a laugh, the older boy smirking while his hands push and pull Gale’s briefs down. Stripping him of his underwear, tossing them somewhere else in the room. Before Gale is tugging John’s briefs off, chucking them behind himself. Climbing into the older boy’s lap and pushing close to him, leaning in for another kiss. Goosebumps rising as he feels John’s calloused hands skimming up the backs of his legs, squeezing at the junction of his ass and thigh. Gale rocking forward slightly, their cocks touching and rubbing together.

“Fuck…fuck that feels good. You’re gonna look so pretty on my cock, I can’t wait to watch you.” John murmurs as he kisses down the other’s jaw, nipping gently before hands are tangling in his hair. Tugging him back slightly, making him look up to see Gale’s blown pupils. His plump, pink lips spread open on soft panting exhales, just as worked up as the older boy. Tip dripping little beads of fluid down onto John’s groin. The small pearls rolling down John’s half hard length, a little shudder going up Gale’s spine.

“Are you gonna last once you get inside of me? Or are you gonna be a two pump chump? Because if you are, I’m going to keep going until I cum.” Gale states, his heart thudding like a hummingbird’s wings in his chest. John letting out a soft sound at the tone of Gale’s voice, his cock giving a valiant twitch. Harder than he has been since before the accident, his hands squeezing Gale’s cheeks slightly. Landing a little slap just to hear the gasp it elicits from the blond’s mouth, his hips jerking forward. The head of his cock rubbing against John’s upper stomach, smearing precum messily. Gale reaching around behind himself for one of the other boy’s hands.

“What’s it gonna be honey? Are you gonna last tonight?” Gale questions, before he’s popping two of John’s fingers into his mouth and sucking. The black haired boy’s jaw drops as he watches, his cock throbbing just a little. A sensation he hasn’t felt in so long, his hand gripping Gale’s ass cheek tighter. Watching with blown pupils as the blond sucks at his fingers, flicking his tongue against them. The younger boy hums softly and pulls his fingers out of his mouth, smiling with a devious glint in his eyes.

“M not gonna fuckin last tonight Gale.” John whispers, knowing he should feel ashamed, but too turned on to think clearly. The blond nods a bit, leaning in like he’s going to kiss him, just to nip at his lower lip. Before he’s getting off the bed, John letting out a whining sound, watching as Gale goes towards the bag he keeps at John’s house now, the goodies he has in there seeming to be never ending. While John waits, looking down at himself and almost groaning at the shock of seeing himself fully hard again.

“I’ve told you John…you have a pretty cock.” Gale states as he climbs back up into the bed, his own cock bobbing slightly as he does. Tip flushed a deep pink color, veins protruding just slightly, slick from his own precum. The black haired boy looks up, just as Gale situates himself back in his lap. Plush lips being pushed against his own, a hand cupping his cheek to pull him close. Both of them letting out little sighs of pleasure, Gale’s hips grinding down into him. Slotting their lengths together, the slick glide making both of them moan.

“If either of us is pretty, it’s you Gale.” John murmurs as he bumps his nose against the blond’s gently, feeling the flickering of a smile. Gale leans back just slightly, holding up the black silicone ring in his lithe fingers. One end having a short bristle like texture to it, his other hand reaching for the lube next to John’s thigh. The older boy’s head tilting just slightly as he looks at the toy in the other’s hand. He always found himself mystified by what Gale could come up with, so his interests were peaked now.

“This is going to wrap around you, keep your pretty cock nice and hard for me. So I can use it for as long as I want, and I’m going to use it. Because it’s my birthday.” Gale states in a matter of fact way, dripping some lube onto his fingers. Rubbing down the silicone before he starts to nestle it around John’s cock, marveling at how hard he truly is. A little bead of precum pearling at his tip, Gale’s thumb swiping across it on instinct to bring it down. Listening as John moans softly, before he’s getting the cock ring snug against his base. Smiling a little to himself as he pressing the bristle part down and under John’s balls. Looking up at his boyfriend’s face before he’s clicking the little button and turning the vibrations on.

“Oh fuck…Gale Jesus Christ.” John gasps as he looks down, feeling the sensations coursing through his groin. His cock giving another twitch, the blond humming quietly as he sits up straighter. Opening the lube again and pulling up John’s hand to coat his fingers. The black haired boy leaning back against the pillows slightly, wanting to watch. Wanting to see how much Gale is going to use him tonight, he’d do anything for his boy. And if that means watching Gale ride his fingers and then his dick, he’s absolutely okay with it.

“Such an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t ride you…Jesus Christ John.” Gale mutters as he leads John’s hand between his thighs, feeling as the older presses his middle finger to his hole. Rubbing the tight muscle, getting it to relax for him before he’s sliding in his digit. Both boys letting out sounds, Gale’s hips rolling just a little, his hands squeezing on John’s shoulders.

“Yea…I am an idiot, but I’m your idiot baby.” John responds smiling softly as he watches Gale work himself open. The blond whining when a second finger is added, John hooking them up into his prostate. Gale’s blunt fingernails digging into John’s skin slightly, his head tipping back. A sweat droplet rolling down his throat, making John lean forward to lap at it. Gale tangling his hands in the back of his hair and tugging, pressing their foreheads together.

“I’m going to fuck myself so hard on you that both of our legs are shaking. I want to feel you for days afterwards John, fuck honey. Fuck I want you inside of me.” The blond pants out the ending as his walls squeeze and spasm, cock bobbing between them. Precum dripping in droplets down his length, his toes curling when John drags his finger tips across his prostate again. Both of them panting into the other’s mouths, sweat clinging to their skin and making everything slick.

“I wanna watch you ride me, I wanna see your cock bouncing with every drop. Always look so fucking pretty when you do it…fuck you’re gonna feel so good wrapped around me doll.” John grunts out, feeling Gale reach back for his hand, pushing John’s fingers out of himself. Scrabbling for the lube to coat John’s length, desperate for it at this point. Both of them moaning as Gale slots John’s tip at his entrance, the blond clenching slightly. Realizing that John is thicker than two of his fingers, but not having a care right now. He would deal with the burn later, he wanted to feel John inside of him.

“Oh fuck…fuck Jesus fuck John.” Gale gasps out as he sinks down slowly, thighs tensing once he’s gotten a third of the way down. John’s jaw dropped open at the tight squeeze, heat wrapping around him so intensely he’s suddenly grateful for the cock ring around him. His large hands gripping onto Gale’s waist, squeezing tightly to steady them both. Gale tilting his head forward to look at John, before he’s pushing all of the way down. Both of them letting out deep groaning sounds, Gale blinking away the few tears that have collected in his eyes.

“Pull off, you’re hurting yourself. Oh fuck Gale…pull up baby.” John panics slightly as he tries to move the blond up, even as his stomach spasms from the pleasure. Gale tightening his hand in the back of John’s hair, tugging tightly. Pulling John’s head back towards the ceiling, his lips pressing against John’s jaw. Biting down slightly and sucking, before he pulls away to stare at the older boy.

“I’m taking my cock, this cock is mine do you understand me? It’s mine and it was made for me, and I’m going to use it to make myself cum.” Gale states, trying to keep his voice from being breathless. Lifting up slightly just to drop back down, both of them whining at the sensations. John’s head falling back onto the headboard, jaw dropped down while he moans. Desperately wishing he could plant his feet to push up, listening to Gale’s moans making his balls tighten. His large hands going down to squeeze at Gale’s butt, pulling his cheeks apart and helping him drop down.

“Your cock is so big John, fills me up so fucking good. Fuck honey, I love it. I love how deep it gets…can feel it in my stomach. Fuck.” John whines at the filth leaving Gale’s mouth, the blond wasn’t usually this talkative during sex. Listening to the ramble coming from his lover was making his insides twist. Grip going a little desperate on Gale, looking down to watch as Gale’s cock bounces between them. His tip rubbing against John’s stomach, leaving a trail of precum in its wake. John suddenly wishing he could wrap his lips around the younger boy’s length.

“I’m gonna cum Gale…fuck, fuck it feels so good. You feel so good. Please don’t stop.” John whimpers as his eyes squeeze shut, his jaw dropping open. The vibrations rolling through his balls from the cock ring combined with the tight squeeze of Gale around him. Gale gripping his hair tighter again to tilt his head back so they can stare at one another again.

“You’re not cumming until I have, you’re not cumming until I tell you, you can. You’re going to sit here and I’m going to use my cock until I’m satisfied.” John groans softly as he feels Gale squeeze around him tighter, the blond dropping on him a little quicker. Cock drooling down into the hair by John’s belly button, the hair tacky and sticky now. John’s hand twitching to wrap around Gale’s cock, desperately wanting the blond to cum. Looking up at the younger boy, with pleading eyes, his breath getting taken away by the look of pure enjoyment on Gale’s face. Euphoria having taken over his expression, the sound of their skin slapping getting louder.

“Gonna make me cum John…fuck you’re gonna make me cum.” Gale gasps out as he grabs at him harder, hand wrapping around John’s throat and squeezing slightly. The black haired boy’s jaw dropping as he looks up at his boyfriend. Watching as he begins to fall apart, his hips stuttering as he drops down harder. Chasing his release now, his head tipping forward to press against John’s now.

“Cum for me baby…cum all over me, I wanna lick it up. Fuck please Gale, please cum for me doll face.” John begs as he watches the blond’s body tense up, a loud sobbing sound coming from his mouth. Spurting between them both, stripping across their abdomens and chests. John whining as he watches, Gale tilting his head back. Pressing his mouth against John’s, gasping for air as he drops down through his aftershocks.

“Cum for me, fill me up honey. That’s it…yea, fuck cum for me John. Oh fuck.” John’s body goes rigid as he starts to orgasm, the vibrations going through his groin making it that much more pleasurable. His hands grabbing at Gale to ground himself, the air getting knocked out of him. This being the most intense orgasm he’s ever had, tears rolling down his face. Gale moaning lowly at the feel of John’s release filling him, his hips slowing down. Collapsing against John’s body, shivers racking through both of them.

“Feels so good sweetheart…did so well for me. I love you so much.” Gale whispers as he presses breathless kisses against John’s jaw, both of them panting. Cupping the older boy’s face to bring him back down, not wanting him to fall into that floaty space all of the way. Brushing his shaky hand through John’s curls, letting John turn his head for a kiss. Their lips meeting in gentle presses, little whimpers still coming up the older boy’s throat.

“T turn it off? Please.” John whispers after a minute, Gale quickly shifting to turn off the cock ring. Lifting his hips up in a slow pull, whining softly at the loss. Before he feels John’s quivering fingers there to massage softly, helping with the soreness. Both of them boneless pressed against the other, lips pressing and sliding together in a slow manner. Coming back down from their respective highs, soft and gentle touches being shared.

“I love you…happy birthday.” John murmurs once they’ve both caught their breaths and are laying side by side now. Gale smiling a little, pressing his face into the older boy’s chest. Tucked into his side, arm thrown across John’s broad chest. Scratching gently over his ribcage feeling the steady breaths coming from the older boy.

“I love you too. You said you got me two other gifts? What the hell else could you have been giving me that would be better than this?” Gale asks as he lays tucked into John, cum drying on John’s stomach and chest. While Gale can feel John leaking out of him, his legs finally having stopped shaking. John hums softly, still half in that floaty space he goes to sometimes, opening his eyes slowly to look at Gale.

“In the closet, behind my suitcase, you can’t miss the bag.” John says as he looks at the boy, a smile on his face, watching Gale slowly slide off the bed. A little wobbly legged before he shakes his legs out slightly. Going for the closest and opening it, moving John’s rolling suitcase bag. Smiling when he sees the medium sized gift bag, child like farm animals printed all over it. Blue and green tissue paper sticking out of the top, Gale picks the bag up, smiling softly as he brings it back to the bed. John laying propped against the pillows now, having situated himself better so he could watch Gale.

“Farm animals?”

“The horse bags were weird looking, and this one has all the animals. Look at the chickens Gale, they’re goddamn adorable.” John states pointing at said animal, the blond laughing quietly before he’s pulling the tissue paper out. Jaw dropping a bit when he sees the new kindle sitting there, a gift card for the bookshop taped to the top. His head lifting to look at John, a sheepish smile on his face. Before Gale is looking back down as he sees another item wrapped in tissue paper. The blond reaching in to pull it out, unraveling it to expose it. Soft pale blue lace landing in his hands, his mouth going dry, while his fingers rub the material gently. Examining the cut of the panties, the front of it would barely contain him, and the back was going to leave his ass entirely exposed.

“You were supposed to open the gift first…but honestly, I don’t think they would have survived.” John says trying to tease, a little worried he’s offended Gale. The boy staring at the panties in his hands, before he’s looking up. Leaning over to kiss the older boy, resting a hand on his chest to keep himself from toppling over. Underwear still in his other hand, before he’s pulling away to look at the black haired boy.

“They wouldn’t have survived…but I’m definitely wearing them soon. And this, this is too expensive.” He says holding up the kindle, sitting back on his butt. The sore twinge there making a little shiver go up his spine, eyes meeting John’s again. The package sitting in the blond’s hands, while the older boy shrugs softly. Resting his hand on Gale’s leg and rubbing over the soft blond hairs there.

“I figured when you can’t sleep at night you could read. I know you get restless just laying there some nights. And honestly it wasn’t that expensive, Ken helped me get a discount on it.”

“John Egan using coupons and discounts?” Gale asks in surprise, making John laugh and smile while shaking his head. Running a hand down his face as he lays there, smiling fondly at his boyfriend. Seeing the pleased grin on Gale’s pink lips, both of them quieting down as they soak in the moment together.

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“I’m going to drop you off by the doors okay? I don’t want you to get stuck in the snow.” Gale says as he looks at the older boy, pulling up towards the hospital. Window wipers going at an even pace, Gale hated driving in the snow, it always made him anxious. But neither of them could afford a car that John could drive, it was a blessing that Curt let them burrow his car. It was big enough for John to get in and out of, and his chair fit in the trunk.

“Yea baby, thank you. Here’s the placard thing.”

John says as he reaches into the glovebox to pull out the handicap card, Gale accepting it. Before he’s parking in the little alcove by the front doors of the hospital. Flipping the hazards on and getting out to grab John’s chair, the older boy already unbuckled and holding his door open. Gale stepping over with the chair, having unfolded it for him, stabilizing it so John can transfer. Making sure Bucky is settled before he’s squeezing his shoulder and heading back for the drivers seat.

“I’ll wait for you in the lobby!” Gale nods his head and watches as John rolls himself into the front entrance before he’s pulling away. Turning off the hazards and continuing on to find a parking space, chewing on his lip as he searches. Spotting one a little ways down, putting up John’s handicap placard before he’s parking and getting out. Checking his watch, they were running a little behind today but they should make it if he can hustle. The office was usually lenient with them, as John was never late and never missed an appointment.

“Sir, sir! That’s a handicap spot!” A woman calls a few feet behind Gale, the blond sighing softly as he turns to look at her. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but usually John was with him and it made people shut up quickly. Gale looks down as he’s suddenly face to face with a blonde middle aged woman. Glaring up at him, more snow beginning to fall down in slow drifts. Her arms crossing over her chest as she keeps the same expression on her face.

“You are an able bodied young man, why are you parking in a handicap spot? Do you realize that you’re taking away from someone who can’t walk? Or are you just too young to care?” She snaps at him, Gale can feel the bubbling irritation swirling in his stomach. He was already on edge because of the snow, and John was a bit of a beast about this appointment. He did not want to see his neurologist, he didn’t want to hear what she had to say about his progress. So trying to sweet talk him out of the door was difficult, Gale had to make promises of a sweet treat afterwards.

“Yes ma’am I understand, I am able bodied, my boy.”

“So you’re admitting to taking the space? You could be fined for that, do you want that to happen?” She interrupts, the boy takes a deep breath as he tries to remember what Maureen has said. In for three, out for five, his hands clenching in his coat pockets. He could feel the snow melting on the collar of his coat, it was sending a chill down his spine. He was sure Bucky was waiting for him in the lobby, just like he said he would be. Because whether John wanted to admit it or not, he was scared to hear what Dr. Campbell had to say today. He wanted to bring his emotional support boyfriend in with him, he wanted Gale to be there with him.

“No ma’am, if you would let me finish. My boyfriend is inside, I dropped him off at the door.” Gale says, turning slightly towards the front doors of the hospital. Seeing John waiting out of the corner of his eye, the black haired boy looking a little confused. Almost like he’s ready to wheel out and see what’s wrong, before Gale’s attention is getting pulled back. The woman letting out an incredulous laugh, interrupting him once again.

“So it’s both of you taking someone else’s parking space? Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“Listen, I don’t really have time for this right now. My boyfriend is waiting for me, so I’ll say this as nicely as I can. Go eat a dick, and leave me alone. Now I need to go inside to get him up to his appointment.” The blond lets out in a deep breath, turning on his heel and heading for the doors. Not seeing how the woman’s jaw drops as he tries to hurry without slipping in the snow. Getting inside and shivering slightly as he rubs his feet on the large black rugs going further. John rolling from the window slowly, eyebrow raised up slightly. Before they’re both heading for the elevators to go up to the fourth floor.

“What was that about? She looked like you spat on her when you walked away.” Bucky asks as he sits next to Gale, the blond trying to hunch down into his coat more. How John was warm in just a hoodie and beanie, he had no idea, but Gale was freezing. He did not like the cold, at all, it was his arch nemesis. Gale lets out a long sigh, knowing John won’t drop it at all.

“She was berating me for parking in a handicap stall, so I might have told her to eat a dick and leave me alone.” The blond rushes out, wincing a little to himself when he thinks back on it. Jumping slightly when John lets out a loud barking laugh, his body doubling over slightly in his chair. The elevator doors opening, but the older boy keeling over with too much laughter to notice. Gale can feel his cheeks and ears getting hot as he’s quickly pulling John’s hands into his lap. Pushing him out of the elevator, a few people watching as John wheezes from his laughter.

“Hello…is he okay?”

“He’s fine, we’re checking in for his appointment with Dr. Campbell, John Egan, I’m so sorry we’re late.” Gale says as he looks at the receptionist, Bucky finally sitting straight, wiping his face of the tears. Little giggles rolling up his throat still every time he looks at Gale, the woman looking between them both. Before she’s typing things into her computer, John snickering again and shaking his head slightly.

“It’s not a problem, you’re all set with being checked in. They’ll call you from over there…have a nice day.” She says, eyebrow raised slightly as she watches the blond roll John away. The black haired boy trying to catch his breath again, rubbing his hands over his face. Gale situating them both to wait for the MA to call them back, groaning when John sneaks a peek at him again.

“It’s not even that funny, Jesus you need to sleep more.”

“It’s hilarious Buck, and the fact that you can’t see that, worries me.” John states, shaking his head slightly and smiling again. Before he’s curling his warm paw of a hand around Gale’s chilled fingers. Squeezing gently with a little shit eating grin on his face, making Gale smile softly. Feeling as John rubs the delicate bone in his wrist, sighing softly as they wait to be called back. Both of them looking up when John’s name gets called, beginning to wheel himself back. His stomach is twisting again, palms going a little sweaty, while a sudden sinking feeling fills his chest.

“Good morning you two, I’m glad you could make it. Mother Nature decided to just blow us over and give us all of the snow in one week.” Dr. Campbell says as she comes into the room, smiling at the both of them. John sitting in his wheelchair, chewing on the inside of his lip, Gale sitting in the chair next to him. Gently holding his hand in his own, rubbing his thumb across the older boy’s knuckles gently. The doctor sits at the desk, typing things into the computer to bring up John’s most recent scans.

“How has physical therapy been going? You’re still going three times a week?”

“It’s been kicking my ass…but yea I still go three times a week. Can we, can we not do this? Can you just tell me what you need to tell me? Because I’m almost a year out and I can barely walk.” John gets out, feeling like a hand is restricting his throat, if his leg could jiggle it would be. He watches as the doctor clicks a few buttons before she’s turning to look at him. Her soft brown eyes were usually comforting, they were one of the first he saw when he woke up after his coma, aside from Janie’s. She slowly turns the monitor to face them both, showing off the newest scans of John’s spine. Pulling out her stylus pen from her coat pocket, she turns slightly towards the monitor.

“Where your injury occurred, it crushed part of your spinal cord, with the additional damage you received afterwards, it pinched a nerve right in here. You have multiple discs in your spine that are injured or damaged from the accident. C2 and C3 cause the paralysis, some in your thoracic region as well, those ones cause the pain in your spine but they didn’t push on the nerves or anything. This is why you have the constant tingling, why you can’t feel hot and cold sensations sometimes, you can move those few steps because you started therapy right away. But John, I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to walk again. I don’t want to say never because you’re a very determined young man, I don’t want you to put a timeline on yourself. You’ve made good progress and nobody can take that away from you.” John’s ears are ringing as he sits there, trying to absorb that he most likely will never walk again. Gale’s thumb swiping across his knuckles in a soothing way, trying to listen to the doctor. While also trying to watch John, not wanting him to spiral in the office. Not realizing that John is already spiraling out in his own head. All of the work he has put in, everything he’s going through in the last almost year, was it all for nothing? He was never going to be normal again, he was never going to be in control of his own body again.

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“Have you thought about it at all yet John?” Gale asks as he and John both sit at the dining table in John’s apartment. Curt out for the weekend again with Ken, the boy looks up from his food with a confused expression. Gale pushing his food around slightly before he looks up at his boyfriend. It had been almost a week since he had his appointment with the neurologist.

“The custom chair? Dr. Campbell sent you home with the papers for it. She said it would be smart to get it, especially for long term use. It’ll make your life a little more comfortable…and you can stop paying to rent this one every month.” John’s stomach twists at ‘long term use’, his mouth going slightly dry. Anger bubbling up in his gut slowly, frowning at the chicken and rice on his plate. Hearing Gale sigh softly as he sits there, setting his own fork down.

“It’s nice to know everyone is giving up on me now that the doctor said I’ll probably never walk again. This is the third time you’ve brought it up since the goddamn appointment. I’m fucking trying and nobody sees that.” John states as he looks up at Gale, the blond looking up from his barely touched plate of food. A frown etched into his face, setting his fork down to look at John. The younger boy takes a deep breath as he tries not to snap, but he can feel it simmering. Can feel it working its way to the surface.

“Why can’t you just be happy that you’re alive and breathing John? You’ve overcome so much in the last 11 months, and you are making everything more difficult on yourself. I don’t understand it.” Gale snaps out, looking at his boyfriend and watching the way his eyes narrow. Gale feels regret for exactly five seconds, before he watches John push away from the table slowly. Rolling himself backwards, acting as if Gale has just physically slapped him across the face.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be confined to this fucking chair, to have to depend on everyone around me because I can’t do anything for myself anymore. I can’t walk more than four steps and that’s with two people holding a fucking belt around my waist so I don’t fall. I can’t take a piss without it hurting, I can’t get out of bed to help my best friend when he’s having nightmares, I can’t drive myself anywhere. I can’t even fuck my boyfriend properly without taking a blue pill and using a fucking chair. You don’t get to sit there and tell me to be happy I’m alive and breathing. What kind of fucking life is this?!” John asks as he throws his hands in the air, smacking them both down onto his thighs. The sound resounding for a moment, and Gale can feel his eye twitch slightly. Standing up from his chair to look down at John, glaring at him fully now. All niceness that was trying to stay in his body has evaporated at this point. His stomach twisted into an ugly snarl, making him want to vomit up whatever he did eat.

“I don’t know what it’s like to not have control? I battle my own goddamn brain every single fucking day John. I have never been in control of anything in my entire goddamn life. You think your life is so fucking hard, try spending one goddamn day in my head John. Constantly fighting a fucking demon of an eating disorder to keep everyone around me happy. Trying to keep my depression at bay so I can help you, trying to keep myself from cycling so I don’t do something fucking stupid. I might not know exactly what it’s like to lose the control that you have John. But I’ve never been in control of anything, so don’t you fucking sit there and tell me I don’t know what you’re going through. I know more than you will ever fucking realize.” Gale states before he’s stepping around John and going for the front door. Grabbing his coat, sliding his satchel on, and opening the door. Letting it slam closed behind him, hot tears forming in his eyes as he pulls his hat over his head. Stuffing his hands in his coat and beginning to walk, not caring that it’ll be at least a half hour walk to get home. Not caring that he doesn’t have a car to get there, just needing space between him and John. Thinking briefly that he should text Curt to let him know, but deciding John is a big boy and can do it himself.

—————————

“Gale, hey I’m coming in.” Marge says as she opens his bedroom door, chewing on her lower lip. It had been almost four days since his and John’s fight, and the boys were not talking to one another. Neither of them wanting to be the first to reach out, too pig headed and stubborn for it. Marge had been the one to pick Gale up from the gas station on the night of the fight, the boy refusing to talk about it. It took him a full day to talk to her about what happened, the fight between him and John. Gale had done the one thing that would make him feel better, calling Curt to tell him that John was by himself.

“Gale? Where did you go?” Marge asks as she sees his room empty, frowning when she steps out. Seeing the bathroom door slightly open, the sound of running water catching her attention. She gently pushes the door open, jaw dropping at the sight in front of her. Gale standing in front of the mirror, snipping his hair with a pair of their kitchen scissors. The strands all black now, a little patchy in the back, Marge makes a soft sound getting his eyes to dart over to her. She could see the bags under his eyes, telling her that he had not slept in a few days.

“Jesus Gale…what are you doing? Stop, let’s go to the salon or something okay? We can fix it, and see what they can do.” He makes a sound of disagreement, looking back at the mirror and cutting more of his hair. She watches him with wide eyes, strands of his long hair falling down onto the sink and into the basin. Seeing the tears forming in his eyes as he continues, she swallows thickly.

Quietly going out to make him a snack and get him a drink, letting him have this moment. Knowing he’s taking control of how his brain feels, he wasn’t usually this impulsive. He usually found something else to occupy himself when he was cycling. Keeping himself busy with school, John, Marge, but he was spiraling right now.

“Have you talked to Maureen recently?” Marge asks once Gale has come out of the bathroom, his hair choppy. The black dye looking vibrant against his skin, blue eyes shining even brighter now. She sets down the plate with the uncrustable sandwich, a handful of grapes, and then a glass of water. Watching as he stares at it, wringing his hands together anxiously.

“No…cancelled for this week.” He whispers, she nods softly in understanding, taking a deep breath. Rubbing her palms on her pants, before she’s sitting next to her best friend. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders, pulling his body into her own. Feeling him beginning to cry, his legs pulling up so he can become a small ball. Little broken sobs bubbling up his throat, his arms tucked close to his chest as if he’s protecting his heart. Hot tears rolling down his face, soaking into the material of Marge’s jeans. Her hand gently rubbing down his spine, breathing deeply and letting him have this.

“I love you Gale, we’ll get through this together.” She promises softly, looking down at his hair and taking a deep breath. Gale loved his long hair, he had spent a long time growing it out. If this was like a few of his other cycles, he was going to come out foggy. He wasn’t going to remember the details of cutting his hair, he wasn’t going to remember dying it.

“Do you, do you think John’s sister would fix it for me?” Gale whispers after a little while, having worked his way through the sandwich. The glass of water halfway gone, and the grapes picked at. Marge letting him stay curled up on her thighs, her hand continuing to rub his spine. Feeling the way his breathing has stopped shaking, his limbs still curled and tucked in. Keeping him feeling safe and small, something he always did when he was panicking.

“You can always call her and ask, you’ve said Janie likes you. I’m sure if you explained, she would do it for you. I’ll even drive you there.” She offers softly, feeling him nod, sniffling again. Staying where he’s at for the moment, just needing Marge’s touch to ground him. To bring him back down from that high he’s been at for days now. Usually John would help with this, he was good at bringing Gale back down. Being there to make sure he didn’t drop too far down into a depressive slump.

“I miss him Margie.” Gale whimpers out, his eyes burning slightly with unshed tears. Too tired to cry anymore, too exhausted to do more than just lay there. He feels her fingers gently brush through his mangled hair, sorting through the mismatched strands. A few patches of blond peeking through, the strands at the back of his head a little longer. She brushes it away from his forehead, feeling him beginning to get heavier. Relaxing against her, sleep beginning to invade his senses now.

—————————

Curt opens John’s door, sighing softly as he looks at the lump in the bed. The blinds all drawn, keeping the room darkened. The black haired boy flicks on the light, making John let out a sound. Curt stepping over with the plate of food, medicine cup in his hand, setting both down.

“C’mon get up, you need to take your meds. You need a shower, and I know you’ve cancelled your PT for today. So get your ass out of bed.”

“Go away Curt.” The older boy sighs softly and rolls his shoulders a bit, before he’s tugging down the blankets. Making John grunt and try to sit up to grab them, wincing at the pain in his spine. Grabbing for the blankets again with a long arm, trying to push Curt away from him. Curt keeping the blankets tucked away, scrunching his nose as he smells the old sweat under the comforter. Watching as John tries to shift around, face screwing up in pain, body stiff and sore from not moving like he should be.

“Get your ass out of bed Egan. Your sheets need to be washed, you need to be washed, you need to eat, and take your meds.”

“I said to go the fuck away Curt.” John tells him, snatching the blanket back even if it pains him. His side lifting from the bed slightly, showing off the blistered looking red mark on his elbow. Making Curt’s eyes scrunch up, trying to assess any more of John’s skin that he can. The boy pulling his blankets up and laying back down, shifting around with the limited mobility he can. Curt takes a deep breath before he’s stepping out of his room, letting the door shut a little harder than necessary. Sighing as he steps into the living room, Ken looking up from where he’s been working on a project.

“I’ve gotta call him… but it isn’t his responsibility to make sure John isn’t being a fucking asshole. But he’d know why John has this mark on his elbow, looks like he burned himself somehow, but the fucker hasn’t left his bed in almost five days. Fucking Christ.” Curt groans out as he picks up his phone off the coffee table, stepping out onto the little balcony they have. Running a hand down his face, clicking over to his contacts and scrolling to his favorites section. Clicking the other boy’s icon and leaning on the railing as he looks around. Watching as the snow reflects the sunlight, making it look sparkly.

“Hello?”

“Hey Gale…I’m really sorry to do this to you. But do you know if John burnt his elbow on something? He’s got this red almost blister like mark on there, maybe the size of a half dollar coin. Fucker hasn’t gotten out of bed in a few days, been fighting with him to get up.” Curt hears the way Gale breathes in deeply, he missed the younger boy. They had grown close over the months that John and Curt lived together. Sometimes when Gale was cycling and couldn’t sleep, he’d come out and they’d talk for a while. He listens as Gale excuses himself from wherever he’s at, the quiet sound of him walking away. Before the click of a doorknob is filtering through, hearing as Gale lets out a deep breath.

“He’s been in bed for five days? He didn’t go to PT at all?”

“Nope, no showed all three sessions this week. And I only know that because Patrick called and asked if John was alright, he was worried the moron was in the hospital or something. It’s been a fight to get him to take his meds, surprised he’s even getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. But even that has been minimal. You don’t need to come here, I can handle it. Just need to know if I should worry about his elbow.” Curt adds on the ending, knowing they’ve been taking a break away from one another. Not really knowing all of the details, but also knowing it isn’t entirely his business. Even if John was like his little brother, it didn’t mean he was entitled to everything going on in his life. He hears as Gale takes another inhale, no doubt the younger boy was running a hand down his face.

“The idiot is probably giving himself pressure sores. I’m sure he hasn’t been rotating himself, he needs to get up and get off of his side. He’s probably got a couple of them going now, and if he hasn’t showered he’s just introducing bacteria into them. I can be there in a few hours, I’m a little busy right now. But he needs to get up or he’s going to end up in the hospital with an infection.” Gale sighs out, shaking his head slightly as he pushes off of the door. Curt leans against the railing a little heavier, looking inside at Ken. Seeing him fiddling with a wire for his project, concentration covering his entire face. The little pink tip of his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. Curt is suddenly craving a cigarette, wanting to stop the slight shake to his hands. He had been working hard to quit, Ken was being very persuasive about it too.

“You don’t have to come here Gale, you deserve your space. You aren’t responsible for the giant fucking idiot laying in his bedroom right now. I can get him up whether he likes it or not. Ken is here too so if we have to carry him into the bathroom together we can. I’m a big boy.” Gale lets out a little laugh at that, running a hand down his face and breathing deeply. Chewing on the side of his thumb for a minute, contemplating silently in his head.

He was still upset with John, they hadn’t talked in almost six days now, no texts, no calls, radio silence on both ends. But even though he was hurt by what John had said, it didn’t mean he wanted to see the other boy make himself hurt worse. Or sick with an infection that would land him in the hospital again. He still loved John even if he did feel like there was a giant hole ripped in his chest at the moment.

“It’s okay Curt, I’ll be there in a little bit. Give you and Ken a break from him, thank you for calling me.”

“You don’t have to thank me Gale…whatever happened, we’re still friends.” The younger boy smiles a bit before they’re saying their goodbyes. Hanging up their phones, Gale stepping out of the bathroom to head back for the salon chair. Janie sipping at her tea while talking to Marge, the girls smiling and laughing together. Janie looking up and smiling at him, before she’s stepping aside to let him sit in the chair again.

“Everything okay?”

“After this I have to go and see him. Curt said it was bad, I guess he no call no showed all of his PT this week. Hasn’t gotten out of bed for a few days, I think he might have a pressure ulcer. But I won’t know until I get there. I’ll be okay Marge, I can’t just let him hurt himself like this.” Gale says quietly, Janie wrapping her arms around his upper body to hug him back into her chest. Pressing a kiss to the side of his head, the newly black haired boy smiles a little bit. Marge meeting his eyes, worry in her brown orbs, before he’s reaching across to squeeze her hand gently. Janie gently turns his head to finish trimming his hair, fixing the disaster he had done.

He didn’t remember doing it entirely, he knew he had dyed it, he remembered buying the boxes. But he didn’t remember getting the kitchen scissors out to chop off his hair. The brain fog never got easier after a cycle like he had had, vicious and fast acting. He could feel the depressive slump slowly trying to creep in, he had seen Maureen earlier in the day. Janie had said she would absolutely help him with his hair, which was how he found himself diving an hour to the salon she worked at. Sitting in her chair with a little bit of shame as he took off his beanie to show her the mangled mop of his head. She hadn’t said anything about it, just asked him how short he wanted to go. Let him know she could strip the color out of his hair but it would still be a little discolored. Taking black dye out was difficult, but they could work at it if he wanted. He had decided to lean into it, letting her fix up the patches he had missed. And now she was trimming off the hair that couldn’t be saved. Styling it in a way that would be easy for him to maintain with gel or pomade.

“You’re a good man Gale…but don’t let him push you around. He messed up too, and you deserve an apology.” Janie tells him softly as she runs her fingers through his dyed strands. Fluffing them out for a minute before she trims a little more around his ears. The boy taking a deep breath and looking at her in the giant mirror in front of them. Seeing the little dip to her eyebrows as she focuses on making his hairline even in the back.

“I know, he deserves an apology from me too. We both said stuff, it shouldn’t have escalated the way it did. I just can’t in good mind let him potentially make himself sick. I…I still love him.” Marge smiles softly as she sits there, her legs crossed in her chair. Seeing how soft Janie is with him, even though she was John’s sister, she loved Gale. That much was evident, having made sure her schedule was clear for him, the salon quiet at this time. Knowing how overstimulating the salons could be for Gale, choosing to keep it dimmed for him. Janie’s touch was gentle, making sure to not tug or move Gale’s head roughly.

“Like I said, you’re a good man Gale.” Janie murmurs kissing the top of his head again before she finishes up his cut. Grabbing the pomade to show him how to style it so it would look its best.

—————————

“Go away Curt.” John grumbles as he hears the door opening, going to toss one of his pillows at the older boy. His aim off and throw weak, it doesn’t even make it to the end of the bed. His eyes staying closed as he lays there, pain radiating up through his hip to his spine, his left arm was sore. Everything hurt at the moment, but he couldn’t be bothered with taking his medications. He just didn’t care right now, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“I’m not Curt, and you’re getting out of bed whether you like it or not.” Gale says as he stands at the foot of the bed, looking at the older boy. Before he’s moving to open blinds and windows, wanting to air out the depression den John has made for himself. The smell of stale sweat lingering in the air, he hears the sheets rustling. John poking his head out slowly, glasses nowhere to be seen, his hair an absolute mess. One eye open and squinting at Gale, trying to get his vision to focus.

“Gale?”

“Yea, it’s me, and you’re going to get out of bed John. You can push Curt around, but you’re not pushing me around. So I’m going to go and refill your water bottle, you’re going to take your meds, and then you’re going to get into the shower. I’ll even make you a grilled cheese, but you need to get up.” Gale says as he steps over to look for John’s glasses, having to kneel down to find them under the bed. Sighing softly when he grabs them, rubbing them across his shirt to clean off any dust. Before he’s feeling John’s big hand curling around his wrist, looking up. Meeting John’s confused look, watching his eye try to make heads or tails of it all. Sighing softly as he kneels there for a minute, looking at the older boy again.

“Come on John, I’ll help you into your chair.” John keeps his grip on Gale’s arm, loose enough that Gale could pull away if he wanted to. His heart speeding up as he looks at the boy he’s in love with, knowing they need to have a long talk. But he needed to make sure John was physically okay first, standing up he pulls the chair over closer. He tugs the blankets down, showing off John in his black briefs, a pale yellow shirt with a faded sun printed on it. He was actually pretty sure it was his shirt, it looked a little too tight on John’s chest and shoulders.

“Why are you here?” John rasps out, Gale flinching a little at the hoarseness in his voice, before he’s kneeling back slightly. Running a hand through his perfectly styled hair, Janie had done a good job on it. He was really happy with how it looked right now, how she managed to take his mess and turn it into this was astounding. John’s eye rolls up to look, a little gasp sticking in his dry throat as he realizes Gale cut and dyed his hair.

“Because I love you John, and I can’t just stay away when I know you’re punishing yourself. We both said stuff we didn’t mean…we were both mean to one another. It doesn’t mean you deserve to lay here and give yourself pressure sores. You don’t deserve to no show your PT, you don’t deserve to not take a shower. We both fucked up, and I’m willing to put in the work to try to fix it if you are. But you need to take care of yourself too, I’m here to help you. But I can’t be the only one doing it.” Gale explains, looking at the older boy, wanting to smile when he sees John staring at his hair. Moving a little closer so John can see it better, the older boy’s hand quivering just a little as he touches the strands. His body still laying in bed, Gale taking a deep breath as he kneels next to the bed.

“I hate myself for hurting you…I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry Gale, you didn’t deserve that. You deserve someone better than me, but I want to be selfish and keep you to myself. I don’t ever want to let you go, I know I fucked up. And I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me, but I love you too doll face.” John says softly, swallowing thickly, wincing a little at the burn in his throat. He couldn’t remember the last time he drank water, the more water he drank the more he had to get out of bed to pee. And he just couldn’t be bothered with that over the last few days, getting out of bed had become such a chore. Doing anything had been a chore, he had spent a lot of time just laying there. Staring at his wall, sometimes he slept, but he couldn’t remember how much.

“We’ll work on this in a little bit, when you’ve been showered and eaten something. Because honey…you stink. So let’s go.” Gale states as he stands up and offers his hand, letting John slowly pull himself up. Watching as he winces, arm shaking from the effort, making Gale worry even more. Wondering if he’s taken any of his meds or eaten recently, he leans down to help pull his legs over. His eyes assessing the skin he can see on John, noting the pressure sores on his left elbow, outside of his left knee, and the left protruding ankle bone. Gale is sure he’ll find another one on John’s left hipbone, sighing softly as he helps him into his chair.

“Good…I’m stripping your bed and washing your sheets. Smelly asshole.” Curt states as he sees Gale wheeling John towards the bathroom, the boy in the wheel chair flipping him the bird. Before he’s letting Gale get him to where he needs to go, his heart starting to relax from the tight grip it’s been in.

“Are we going to be okay Gale?” John murmurs once he’s back in his bedroom, sheets freshly changed. Food in his stomach, water bottle refilled, meds waiting for him on his nightstand. The younger boy helping him get into bed, his sores all dressed accordingly, Gale having called the on call nurse to ask for help. Ken going to the pharmacy nearby to pickup the stuff to help, Curt having made John a grilled cheese. Gale takes a deep breath and looks up at John, having been helping him get into a comfortable position. Tucking pillows around him to keep him from putting anymore weight on his sores, making sure he doesn’t form anymore.

“I think if we both want it and can work for it then we can be okay. If it’s only going to be one of us working towards it, or one of us wanting it. Then it wouldn’t make sense to keep trying…ya know?” Gale asks softly as he slowly sits on the side of John’s bed, meeting his eyes. Seeing the deep ocean blues staring back at him, sadness evident in the orbs. John nods softly as he rubs his thumb over the hem of his basket ball shorts, chewing on his bottom lip. Taking in a deep breath and feeling his eyes burning slightly, a lump forming in his throat. Before he feels Gale wrapping him in a hug, strong arms cooling around his shoulders. Pulling him in and nuzzling close, vanilla and citrus filling his nose, before he’s tucking his nose in under the other boy’s ear. A little broken sob bubbling up from John’s throat, Gale squeezing him a little closer to himself.

“I want to put in that work with you John, but we need to get better on communicating. I’ve missed you, more than I thought I could miss someone. I want us to be okay sweetheart, but I can’t be the only one making sure we’re both okay. You gotta take care of you too, just like I’ve gotta take care of me.” Gale tells him softly, kissing John’s ear softly, breathing deeply next to his neck. His nose being filled with the scent of John, sandalwood and coconut, familiar and comforting. Feeling John’s arms coming to curl around his waist, holding him close and whimpering softly. Gale can feel the hot tears hitting his throat and collar bone, John breathing shakily as he sits there.

“I want, I want us to work Gale. I’ve missed you so much, I, I promise I’ll work on myself. I love you. I’m so sorry.” John whispers, feeling Gale nodding against his head. Keeping his face tucked into the younger boy’s throat, running his hand down John’s curls gently. Keeping John tucked into his chest, holding the older boy close to himself. Before they’re both laying down together, Gale’s shoes kicked off onto the floor. The blankets pulled up around them, John’s tears having slowly stopped. Just breathing deeply as they lay together, sniffling quietly and rubbing his face.

“Your hair looks good…makes your eyes seem sparklier.” John whispers a little while later, Gale laughing softly and smiling a little bit. Kissing the top of John’s head gently, squeezing him against himself and breathing deeply. Nuzzling his nose into John’s curls, their hands interlocking between them both.

“Thank you…Janie helped me fix it. Definitely almost buzzed it all off.” John makes a quiet sound at that, lifting his head slightly to look at his boyfriend. Eyes holding a sleepy tint to them, the activity of showering, eating, and then crying wearing him out. He brings his hand up to gently brush back Gale’s newly dyed hair, smiling softly.

“Would still love you if you buzzed it…but I’m glad she was able to help you fix it.”

“I’m glad she was too…can’t imagine what I’d look like with no hair.”

#softmamawrites #john bucky egan #gale buck cleven #clegan #buck x bucky #john egan x gale cleven #brenny #benny demarco #john brady #benny demarco x john brady #curt biddick #ken lemmons #Curt x Ken #clegan smut #marge spencer

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starboye · 10 months ago

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I know this is a lot to ask, but I saw you had about 13 requests (after the JJ and John B fic 12 guess) but could you tell us what those fics are about? like a small synthesis

a fourth part to the nick nelson cheater series where he tries to mend things with reader and charlies

a chris sturniolo fic tht im not totally sure what to write abt

a tanner buchanan smut

a eijiro kirishima x male reader x katsuki bakugo where they play mortal kombat and who ever wins reader rides then till the other wins

a sam and colby fic where they propose to reader and the have soft sex with him with lots of sweet words

prince henry fic where he hires reader to photgrpah him bc he has a crush on reader (idk if its supposed to be a smut so if the person who made tht request sees this plz let me know)

ryan reynolds where he fucks his bestfriends son (aka you) after you teased him the whole night

dom kj apa and dom jacob elordi fic where they fuck reader while on vacation

brady hepner fic tht idk the story too (so also to the person who requested tht can ypu plz let me know if you want a story behind that)

chris evans in a secret relationship with reader after meeting him at a movie premiere and after the premiere chris shows reader who his new daddy is

ethan landry fic where reader finds out ethan is ghostface (kinda wanna make it into a yandere ethan kinda fic but idk)

ryan garcia fic where he waks up with a boner and reader offers to help him then ryan starts to eat out reader so it turns into a 69 then reader rides ryan

a finn wolfhard x jaeden martell x wyatt oleff x louis partridge x male reader that i still havent started (so sorry to the person who requested this but i will work on it soon promise)

#star talks

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speirslore · 1 year ago

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hello! i'm lara! i am a history major in college. i like hbo war shows and other historical media (my favorite show is the pacific).

my writing is absolutely only based off of the fictional portrayal of these men.

requesting guidelines

i write for band of brothers, the pacific, and masters of the air

i do not write explicit smut

requests can be for a group of the boys or just an individual

there is no time table for when they will be completed but requests are always open

fyi, as of now, i just write headcanons

headcanons:

band of brothers

types of kisses

dating the officers

when you get hurt [officers + roe]

flirting styles + reaction to you flirting back

the pacific

masters of the air

types of kisses

domesticity w/ john brady

domesticity w/ rosie rosenthal

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swifty-fox · 6 months ago

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Soooooo excited for more Benny and Brady heheheh

i'd show you some smut but first they're going through the Horrors

“One,” Gale murmurs under his breath, voice so absent Benny knows he doesn’t realize he’s speaking out loud, “Two, Three, Four…”

Five, Six, Seven, Eight, come the fuck on Johnny, Nine…

Paddlefoot’s Proxy slips through the cloud cover with all the grace of a cannonball and Benny breathes exactly none because she is about as devastated as a bird could be and still soar.

Chunks from the wings and tail sheared clean off by flak, flaps missing or only half raised, rattling with the effort, leaking fluid and debris and shuddering with the exertion of it all. There’s a hole in her belly, spilling guts across the tarmac and Gale’s shouting for an ambulance, for a fire crew, John echoing in his broader, louder voice. Benny’s not shouting, Benny’s still not breathing, he’s scared to take any air from the sky that might soften Proxy’s landing. Somehow she’s still got landing gear, somehow they spool out seamlessly and she drops down to earth with hardly more than a bounce, creaking and groaning and sobbing but coming to a graceful stop all the same.

Benny breathes out. Feels Gale leave his side, calling for space, calling for emergency crews, the wailing sirens growing closer and closer. He won’t go, won’t risk being in the way so he’s not close enough to see the faces of the battered bloody bodies they pull from the open gut-wound of Proxy, their screams faint and tinny and smothered by the thick fog. He waits and he breathes and he listens to men die in the distance and dies exactly nothing about it because it isn’t his job to do anything about it aside from stay out of the way.

There’s commotion up by the cockpit, human bodies crawling over the surface of her body like ants and Bennty brings the cigarette to his mouth mechanically. Smokes his way through five minutes of waiting, then fifteen, and then thirty. The ambulance leaves, laden with wounded bodies and Benny won’t go until he’s sure everyone is out but he isn’t sure who’s left at this point, if all of Proxy’s children had been chauffeured away bloody and broken.

Figures come back through the fog. Ken Lemmons, a handful of Brady’s crew, pale-faced and stricken, Major Cleven, Major Egan. Both different from Buck and Bucky, with the distinction between all in the serious set of their mouths. And then Benny stumbles, though he isn’t even walking, or maybe it’s just his heart forgetting to work for just a moment.

John Brady, face freckled by sun and blood, hair a wet slick back from his forehead, baring every bit of the pale, blank shock written there. There’s a cut high on his cheekbone, still oozing watery blood, a bruise across the bridge of his nose like he’d adjusted the sit of his oxygen mask – a nervous habit – so many times it had left damage to the skin. But he was standing, he was walking, and had been cleared by the immediate medical crew.

“Johnny,” Benny calls in a voice he doesn’t recognize.

Says it again when Johnny seems to take a moment to focus on him. He leans forward and places his half-finished cigarette between the other mans lips. Johnny pauses, blinks a few times like he has to remember what to do with the tobacco, and takes it from Benny’s fingers as gently as Meatball with a treat. Normally, it would make somewhere around Benny’s hips tingle.

“Was it bad, Jack?” he asks stupidly, like it could have been anything but bad, horrendous, soul-rotting. Just like every single time was.

“Captian Brady’s cockpit door jammed,” Bucky says, “Flak cut comms with the crew.”

He could have been flying a graveyard, for all he knew.

“Gotta get him to interrogation,” Bucky adds kindly. The information already given a kindness, the formality a gentle warning.

It’s just them so Benny reaches out, takes hold of Johnny’s bloody, bird-boned wrist and squeezes once, twice, three times.

this will be out thanksgiving day!!! featuring dom bottom John Brady

#swiftywrites #brenny #benny x brady #john brady #benny demarco

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cosmicoatlatte · 6 months ago

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౨ৎ felt extremely unhappy with the John Brady mutual masturbation smut so i decided to start over from scratch, finally watched the Van der Valk episode with David Shields in it (he is very fluffy and i could have fixed him) and now i'm debating watching the entire show because why not, makes me want to write a sweet post-war domestic Everett Blakely fic so i might add that to my evergrowing wip list... also i got my first mota preference request!! very exited about that, i hope that i can get to that some time soon

#yours truly.

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google1000 · 1 year ago

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Master Of The Air

Oldest~ Top of Section

Youngest~ Bottom Of Section

⭐️-Smut ❤️-Fluff 💔-Angst 🚫-None

🪢- Polyamorous 🍷-Alcohol🩸-Blood ☠️-Death 🤰-Pregnancy

🚺-Female Character 🚹-Male Character ⚧- Gender Neutral Character

Gale “Buck” Cleven

The Last Dance by Colsons-Baker❤️🚺

John “Bucky” Egan

Longing by CallumsTurn⭐️🚺

Curtis "Curt" Biddick

Harry Crosby

Kenneth “Ken” Lemmons

Howard " Hambone" Hamilton

Everett Blakley

James “Dougie” Douglass

John Brady

Bernard “Benny” Demarco

Joseph 'Bubbles' Payne

Robert “Rosie” Rosenthal

Therapist by ObessedWithFictionalMen⭐️🚺

Incorrect Quotes

Bucky & Harding Incorrect Quote by Sleepy-HyperFixations💙

Crosby & Buck & Bucky Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Buck & Curt Incorrect Quote by Sleepy-HyperFixations💙

Curtis & Buck & Bucky Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Crosby & Brady & DeMarco Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Bucky & Buck & Kidd Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Buck & Bucky & Kidd & Curt Incorrect Quote by Sleepy-HyperFixations💙

Bucky & Buck & Brady Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Rosie & Bucky Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Bucky Incorrect Quote by Easy-Percy-Squeeze-A-Lemon💙

Buck & Curt Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Bucky & Curt & Douglas & Rosie & Kidd Incorrect Quote by Sleepy-HyperFixations💙

Crosby & Bucky Incorrect Quotes by Jenning-Fcb💙

Bucky & Buck Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

John & Everyone & Curt Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Bucky & Random Soldier & Buck Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Bucky & Curtis Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

John & The 100th & Curt Incorrect Quotes by ImASexyPotato💙

Buck & Bucky Incorrect Quote by KcsPlace💙

Buck & Bucky & Curt Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Buck & Bucky Incorrect Quote by ImASexyPotato💙

Bubbles & Harry Incorrect Quote by BeInfinite💙

Curt & Kidd Incorrect Quote by Sleepy-HyperFixations💙

Medic & Buck & Bucky by AlienNoResImagines💙

#masterlist

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softmamawrites · 3 months ago

Text

Love Within These Halls: Part 2

The second installment of LWTH, we don’t see as much Brenny I’m sorry for that.

19.3k words

Warnings: swearing, John not being nice to himself, talking of pee, masturbation in front of someone else, semi-public sex, soft penis blowjobs, handjobs, first time smut, some more not nice talking about penises, PTSD mentions, mentions of blood

mood board done by me

dividers done by: @firefly-graphics

special thank you to @trashbag-baby666 for listening to me ramble, helping me brain storm, indulging my Clegan thoughts, and being an amazing support. thank you 💕

“Knock knock…can I come in?” Marge asks as she stands outside of John’s room, the door halfway open. Showing off the boy sitting in his bed, freshly showered and scrolling through his phone. Looking through the pictures his sister had sent him of her class trip to D.C. Raising an eyebrow as he sees the blonde girl, they had only really talked a handful of times. She was usually attached to Gale’s hip when she was here, and he hadn’t really talked to Gale in a few days. The blond keeping his distance, seeming to realize better than John how upset he was.

“You can come in…” He trails off, waiting for the boy who’s been on his mind constantly to come into the room. A little bloom of disappointment filling his chest when he notices it’s just Marge stepping in. She leans against the foot of his bed, her hip cocked to keep herself balanced. Arms crossing over her chest as she stares at John, both of them not saying anything for a minute.

“I like you Bucky, I really do, but making my best friend cry. That takes you down a few notches on my list of likable people. I’m not here to fight Gale’s battles for him, but I am here to tell you ignoring him isn’t okay. I know he’s the king of ignoring people, but he isn’t going to come to you this time. He thinks you’re mad at him, which if you are…fuck you. He didn’t do anything wrong, you should be happy that he gets to come home. He’s put in a lot of work to get there, more than you’ve seen. So what I’m saying is, apologize for being a dick, and decide from there if this is something you still want to pursue.” The black haired boy sits there, staring at her, not knowing what to say. Taken aback by how incredibly calm she is, not used to dealing with calm women. He takes a deep breath and rubs his palms over his basketball shorts, looking out the window. Before he looks back at her again, seeing her patiently waiting.

“When do you guys leave?”

“We’re heading out of here at 430 today…gives you about three hours Egan.” She tells the older boy, before she’s pushing off of his bed and heading back for his door. Turning slightly with her hand on the wood, taking a deep breath and contemplating for a minute.

“He really does like you John…it might not seem like it. But he does, trust me, I’ve known him since we were three years old.” Bucky nods softly and watches her walk out, looking at the clock on his wall. Eyes trailing over the calendar, sighing softly as he sees all of the markings on it. Gale having doodled some little pictures on the edges, little cartoon characters that John didn’t recognize. Picking up his phone he clicks over to the text chats, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks his and Buck’s.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘I know you’re packing and whatnot today…but would you have a few minutes to come down to my room? I’ve been put on bed rest for the rest of today. If not I understand, I’ve been a real jerk the last few days.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘You have been a real jerk…give me 30 minutes and I’ll come down. You do realize you’ll have to tell me why you got put on bed rest now.’

John smiles softly as he looks at the message, running a hand down his face and shifting in bed. Using his arms to push himself upright better, tucking one of his wedge pillows into his side. Reaching for his brush to try and fix his hair, groaning when it hits the floor. Frowning as he reaches for his baseball cap instead, putting it on backwards.

Trying not to let the ball of anxiety in his stomach grow as he waits for Gale. Looking up at the gentle knock on his doorframe, seeing the tall blond standing there. His eyes downcast as he waits for permission to come into the room, something tugging on John’s chest. He did not like this version of Gale, this version of Gale made him feel nauseous.

“You can come in Buck.” The younger boy slowly comes into the room, leaning exactly where Marge did earlier. His hip and thigh resting against the footboard of John’s bed. His arms crossed over his chest, bunching up the sweater he’s wearing today. Rubbing the toe of his shoe into the ground slightly, while he chews on his lower lip.

“I’m…I’m sorry Gale, I’m really really happy for you that you get to go home. I know you’ve worked really hard to get to do that, you should be proud of you. I know I am.” John says as he looks at the blond, watching as his eyes come up. Pretty blue eyes sad around the edges, making Bucky’s heart ache a little bit. Knowing he’s the one who put that sad look in those blue orbs. He shifts slightly to try and reach forward for Gale’s hand, the boy shaking his head slightly.

“You didn’t give me the chance to tell you, I really was going to. I got distracted when I saw you…because you make me feel so fucking good John. You’ve ignored me for the past three days and it’s been absolutely awful. And it terrifies me how much I enjoy being around you…I’ve never had that before. I’ve never had anyone besides Marge. And I want you, I want you so so much. But not if this is how it’s going to be…not if you’re going to ignore me.” Buck gets out, it all seeming to spill out of him without his consent. Shoulders deflating in the slightest bit, refusing to meet John’s eyes. Bucky makes a soft sound, taking a deep breath as he sits there. Frustrated that he can’t get up to hug the other, but realizing that Gale doesn’t want a hug right now. He doesn’t deal with his emotions with physical touch like John does, physical touch hasn’t always been an answer for Gale. He’s had to learn how to self soothe, he’s had to be there for himself always.

“Gale, I need you to hear me when I say I’m sorry. I really really love being around you, it’s the best time I’ve had in the past few weeks. I don’t want you to think you’re by yourself, I don’t want you to feel alone, I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m so sorry I ignored you, I know that doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t even come close, but please believe me when I say I won’t let it happen again. I didn’t know what to say, I felt like a fucking idiot, and I didn’t know if you’d still want to do what we’ve been doing once you left. And…I want to go home. I want to leave this place behind so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come back here either.” Bucky explains as he sits there, rubbing his hands on his sweat pants. Not expecting it when he feels arms curling around his neck, the burst of vanilla cologne filling his nose. Citrus aftershave following close behind, a nose tucking above his ear while his head snugs in against Gale’s collar bone. His own arms coming up to curl around the blond’s narrow waist, tugging him closer until the boy is kneeling on the bed next to him. Both of them breathing quietly, digesting what the other has said.

“You’re an idiot…of course I want to keep talking to you and seeing you. I want to keep doing this…I’d like for this to have some kind of label, because Marge calling us fuck buddies isn’t great. But if that doesn’t happen then it doesn’t happen. But you’re a giant idiot John.” The black haired boy laughs quietly and nods his head, large palms rubbing up Gale’s sides. Squeezing softly and holding him a little closer to himself, nuzzling into his skin. Eyes staying closed as he feels the warmth radiating off of the younger boy.

“I am an idiot…but I’m your idiot. Or I’d like to be…if you’ll still have me.” Gale pulls away from John’s hair, looking down at him with soft eyes. His palms coming up to cup Bucky’s curls, knocking his ball cap off of his head. Before he’s resting his forehead down onto the older boy’s, breathing deeply. Scooting just a little closer, their chests touching now as Gale rests against the other boy.

“You know you still have to tell me why you’re on bed rest, don’t think for a minute that I forgot.” John groans softly as he pulls away from the blond, looking at him with a pleading expression. An embarrassed flush starting on the tips of his ears, before he’s meeting Gale’s eyes again. A sheepish smile forming on his face, groaning while dropping his head back onto one of his pillows.

“I was being an asshole and tried to transfer myself off of the shower bench, ate shit, twisted my ankle, and got told off by Danica. Patrick is on vacation and she was not happy with me at all. Depending on how my ankle looks tomorrow will depend on if I can do actual PT or if it’ll be stretches here in my room.” Gale looks at him for a minute, blinking slowly before he lets out a snort. Shaking his head slightly before he starts actually laughing, head tipping forward with his snickers. John smiling a bit at the sound, looking up when he sees Marge standing in the doorway. An approving smile on her lips as she leans against the door jam, watching her best friend laugh.

“I’m really glad to see you two have made up.” Marge says, Gale looking up from where he’s been wiping his tears. Watching as his best friend comes farther into the room, a little grin on her face. Before she’s perching herself at the end of John’s bed, humming at the coziness of it.

“Marge can I introduce you to my idiot, John Egan.” Gale says smirking a bit, Bucky groaning softly as he looks at the blond. Marge letting out a laugh at that, seeing the little loved up smile on Gale’s face. His eyes holding a sort of softness to them that she’s never witnessed before. His cornflower blue eyes trained on John’s face, admiring the curve of his Adam’s apple and throat.

“That’s gonna stick isn’t it?” John questions as he looks at the blond, seeing the grin on his face before he’s nodding. Bucky smiling softly as he rubs his hand up Gale’s back gently, glad they are on better terms. The uneasiness that’s been like a ball in his stomach lessening.

————————

“John…I know you’re not going to like what I have to say right now. But your friend…he looks incredibly pathetic sitting out there by himself. Everyone else has left from their visiting times and he’s just waiting out there. He’s been here every single week waiting for you. How much longer are you going to punish him?” Gale asks once he’s stepped into the black haired boy’s room, looking at his boyfriend. Seeing the way he’s trying to tug off his shoe, huffing softly at the pull in his back. The blond walking over and tugging off his shoes for him, setting them in their designated place. Knowing John will roll right over them with his chair if they don’t go back where they belong.

“I’m not punishing him…”

“John, he’s been coming here every week for almost two and a half months. You’re torturing him because he knows you’re down here, maybe he just wants to get eyes on you. I’m sure the last time he saw you was not a good experience for either of you.” Gale states as he works on one calf muscle, before going to the next. Kneading his muscles tenderly, before he’s looking up at John. Seeing him staring out of the window, a pensive look on his face as he sits there.

“You really should see the massage therapist, I know it gets offered to you. I don’t know why you decline it every time though, your muscles are really tight. It would probably help.” John swallows thickly, looking down at his boyfriend finally. Meeting his gaze, watching as Gale rests his palms on Bucky’s kneecaps. Rubbing his thumbs into the sides gently, feeling the slight twitch from John’s right leg. Smiling a bit at the ticklish reaction, before he’s meeting Bucky’s gaze again.

“Massage therapy makes me nervous, they’re going to touch my body and I can’t feel it all of the way anymore. And it would be Danica rubbing me down…it’d be weird…he looks pathetic?” Gale hums softly and nods his head, looking up at his boyfriend again. Seeing the way he’s staring out the window, before he lets out a deep breath. Eyes darting over to the clock on his wall, and then looking back at Gale.

“I’ll go with you if you want honey.” John shakes his head slightly and runs his calloused hands over his face. Before he’s leaning forward and resting his forehead on Gale’s, eyes closed while he sits there for a minute.

“I gotta do it on my own.”

John slowly wheels himself into the visiting area, brows furrowed as he goes. Lifting his head to look around, seeing the head of black hair sitting at one of the tables. Shoulders scrunched down in his leather jacket, no doubt fiddling with his thumbs. His leg jiggling as he sits there, making his body bounce slightly.

“I’m only coming out here because my boyfriend said you looked pathetic.” John states as he stops his chair behind Curt, giving the boy a chance to flip around. The plastic chair he’s sitting in screeching slightly in his fast movements. His electric blue eyes wide, not at all having expected John to come out today. He had been trying for almost two and a half months, once John’s older sister had told him where he was. He made the weekly visits, every Wednesday coming to sit and wait for a few hours. Just to see if John would give him the time of day, he wanted to lay eyes on a more coherent Bucky.

“Y you’ve got a boyfriend now?” Curt gets out, scolding himself mentally for that being the first thing he says to his best friend. Watching as John shifts in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. Breathing deeply as he stares at Curtis, seeing how his blue eyes don’t have that same boyish shine to them anymore. Bone deep exhausted bags under his eyes, making a frown form on Bucky’s face. Curt wincing as he waits for the younger boy to tell him to go, clenching his fist against the back of the chair as he waits.

“You look like shit.”

“Yea…I know. Haven’t slept a night through in almost three and a half months.” Curtis responds, watching as John slowly wheels himself over towards the table. Carefully turning himself so he can watch his best friend, not missing how John eyes the cookies. Homemade from his Nan, he knew the younger boy loved them, and if it was a bit of bribery he would never admit it. John wheels himself up to the table, pushing one of the chairs over slightly so he fits better. Curt moving to grab it, before he sees Bucky shaking his head slightly.

“If you’re going to start apologizing, I’ll wheel out of here. I’ve had a little time to think on it, it wasn’t your fault that night. And…I’m sorry for how I acted towards you when you came to the hospital before.” John voices like it’s been rehearsed, it had been, a few times to Gale. The boy was anxious about seeing Curt again, the older was always his rock. He always could rely on him, and Bucky had pushed him away.

Disregarding any of Curtis’ feelings, how the accident might have affected him, how this entire mess was hurting his best friend. Looking up when he hears the stifled sound come out of Curt’s mouth, he sees the boy with tears in his eyes. Trying to frantically wipe them away, John feeling a little helpless. He had never seen Curt cry before, not even when he broke his ankle during a football game being tackled.

“Jesus Christ Bucky…I shouldn’t have let Ham get behind the wheel that night. I knew how fucked up he was, we all should have just walked home or something. I didn’t even know what happened until the next day, it was Janie who told me how bad you got hurt. And when I saw you in that hospital bed, fuck John, it hurt so bad. And I was trying to give you space, I really was, I just needed to see you more…alive.” Curt finishes before he’s covering his face again, shoulders shaking slightly. Crying quietly into his palms as he sits there, almost jumping out of his skin when he feels Bucky pulling him into a hug. His arms curling around the taller boy’s shoulders, hugging him tightly while burying his face in his throat. John keeps his arms around the smaller boy’s waist, hugging him to his body.

“I don’t need to forgive you…because you didn’t do anything wrong Curt. But you need to forgive yourself.” John murmurs quietly as he holds his best friend a little tighter to himself. Feeling the way the other boy’s hands scrabble to grab the back of his shirt. Letting him cry for as long as he needs to, rubbing his back through his leather jacket.

————————

“Gale? What are you doing here?” Brady asks as he stops outside of John’s room, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees Gale sitting and reading a book. Brady was coming to sit with Bucky and watch a movie, or the latest episode of the show they’ve been binging. Brady having needed to find something to keep himself occupied now that Gale had gone home. The brunet missing his friend even if they did text every single day.

“I’m waiting for John, he’s in the rec room visiting his friend. How are you? No Benny today?” Gale questions, popping his bookmark into his book. Sitting up straighter in John’s bed, moving one of the wedge pillows the boy has there. Setting his book on John’s tray table, smiling as he sees Brady slowly stepping into the room.

“N no, he had an emergency meeting or something with school. Couldn’t come today.” Brady responds, shrugging softly as he fiddles with his rosary. Rubbing his fingers over the smooth beads, Gale watching as he silently counts them. Realizing briefly that Brady is doing better than when he was first admitted. His hands weren’t always scrubbed raw anymore, and he didn’t pace as often. He had even touched Meatball a handful of times without having a full blown panic attack. Benny giving praise each time, which would in turn make Brady blush a furious red color.

“Are you guys talking more regularly now? I know he asked for your number last time he was here.” Gale says, trying not to pry but wanting his friend to know he can talk. Gale was working hard on making and keeping connections. Still diligently coming to therapy once a week on Thursdays with Maureen. He usually would see John afterwards, and that usually meant he stayed for dinner. Him and Marge lived together now in her two bedroom apartment, so they ate dinner together every night. And Gale would be lying if he said he remembered to eat every meal every day. But he was putting in the conscious effort to at least try.

“Y yea, we are. He texts me pictures of Meatball sometimes…we FaceTimed the other night for a little bit. That was nice, he was doing homework but it was nice to still talk to him.” The blond boy smiles as he looks at his friend, seeing how he’s stopped fidgeting. The beads just an accessory in his hand, holding them in his palm instead of obsessively counting them. Brady knew every groove, every edge, how many beads there are, and how many silver pieces. He knew this rosary like it was a piece of his body, because it was essentially an extension of himself.

“That sounds like it’s really nice, I’m really glad to hear that you guys are talking more.” They both look over at the sound of wheels rolling closer to the room. John coming into view just a moment later, Gale holding his breath slightly. Not sure what kind of mood the older boy is going to be in, watching as he wheels himself into the room. Looking up from where he’s been staring at his knee caps, exposed by his basket ball shorts. A bag of cookies sitting in his lap, chocolate chip if Gale could see correctly.

“Oh…hey Little John, is it marvel movie time?”

John asks, slightly confused as he looks at the brunet, flicking his eyes to Gale. Not really having the energy to entertain Brady tonight but also knowing that he’s been lonely since Gale got discharged. Brady looks at the older boy, before he’s shaking his head slightly, even if it disrupts his routine. He would be okay, he could go to his room or go to the rec room to find something to do. Maybe he would call his sister and see how she was doing, or his mom.

“No, it’s okay. We can watch the movie tomorrow. You look tired. Was just stopping by to see Gale.” He informs the older boy, rising from the chair and smiling a little at them both. Before he’s going to step out, pausing next to John and gently tapping his shoulder. Gale’s jaw dropping slightly as he watches, before Brady is heading from the room. Bucky looks up at his boyfriend, chuckling softly at his expression.

“He just, he touched you! I have gotten exactly one hug from him, and it was one of the most awkward hugs I’ve ever gotten. And he just willingly touched you. He’s doing so good.” The blond says, eyes watering for a moment as he thinks of how far the younger boy has come. John smiling a bit before he’s wheeling himself over towards his bed, letting out a long breath. Parking the chair next to the bed and reaching for the remote to slowly start lowering it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gale asks as he looks at his boyfriend, chewing on his lower lip as he examines the older’s face. Seeing the pinched skin between his eyebrows, his plush lower lip between his teeth, muscles looking a little tight. John locking the wheels of his chair and moving so he can transfer himself. Gale shifting his body over, ready to get up and help if John’s arms fail at all. Bucky slowly gets himself into the bed, pulling his legs up, while huffing softly from the exertion.

The both of them get under John’s comforter, Gale leaning over to tuck a wedge pillow behind John’s back. Tucking him onto his side gently, while John feels the tears welling. Quickly blinking them back as he lays there, looking up the slightly tanned line of Gale’s neck. Before the blond is laying next to him on his own side, bringing a hand up to gently touch John’s hip in a soothing manner.

“He cried…Curt cried in front of me. I’ve seen him break his ankle, fall out of a tree, flip his dirt bike, have his heart broken. I’ve never seen him cry Gale, he blames himself. He fucking blames himself for what happened…it wasn’t his fault.” John says, the ending coming out in a whisper before tears are finally breaking free. Gale scooting closer to wrap him in a hug, letting John tuck his face into his throat. Little shakes racking up the black haired boy’s shoulders, arms curled and tucked into his sides. The blond letting him cry, gently petting and caressing his hair. Running his fingers through the messy curls, chin pressed against John’s head.

“Are you two going to see each other more? Maybe start talking again?” Gale asks softly once John has calmed down some, said boy’s face tacky with dry salty tears. His forehead pressed into the side of Gale’s throat, breathing having evened out. No longer shuddery when he exhales, his arm curled around the blond’s waist. Needing that skin to skin contact, craving it, it being one of the only things that keeps him calm.

“Yea…said he’s gonna come back next week for another visit. He’s starting a new job though, so he won’t be able to come until dinner time. But thought it would be nice to have dinner with him again, I’ve missed him.” John admits as he breathes deeply, Gale nodding in understanding. Kissing the top of John’s curls, breathing in the faint smell of his shampoo. It always made Gale smile whenever he smelt it, coconutty and absolutely not what he expected. John took good care of his curls, had told him once his older sister Janie would kill him if he didn’t. John may look like a 3 in 1 guy, but he definitely had more shower products than even Gale did.

“I’m glad you guys talked today, I’m glad you’re going to start seeing him more too. I think it’ll be good for you.” Bucky nods his head in agreement, tired from everything that’s happened. PT was physically exhausting, but seeing Curt again and watching the older boy lose it, was a kind of mental exhaustion he didn’t know he could feel. Gale keeps rubbing his back as they lay together, fingers tracing the scars without realizing it. Lulling John into a quiet sleep, nose tucked close to Gale’s pulse point. Long arm curled up under the back of Gale’s sweater, just holding him close.

————————

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Are you awake still?’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Yea, was finishing an episode of ‘British Bake Off’, fucking Patricia burnt her caramel.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Six attachments’

“Jesus fuck.” John gasps out, looking up at the closed door of his room out of habit. Laying tucked on his side, wedge pillows stuffed next to his spine and butt. His eyes wide as he clicks on the pictures, jaw dropping as he sees the images of Gale’s cock. Flushed pink, tip looking wet and ruddy, Gale’s hand wrapped around himself. John feels arousal pooling low in his stomach, flicking through the different pictures.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Did you text me for a booty call? Because last I checked…you don’t have a car and I can’t drive…’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Your cock is still the prettiest I’ve ever seen…definitely would put you in my mouth if you were here.’

John’s phone buzzes with an impending FaceTime call, swiping to answer it. He’s met with Gale’s bunny face, pink cheeked, a little sweaty, strands of his hair falling on his forehead. Bucky’s eyes go wide, taking in the way the blond is trying to focus on the screen. John is thankful that he has his headphone in his ear, able to hear the way Gale is whimpering quietly.

“Baby…are you touching yourself right now?” John murmurs, his heart speeding up in his chest, shifting just slightly in his bed. Watching the way Gale rapidly nods his head, jaw dropping down on a moan. Slightly high pitched and needy, John groaning softly in response. His eyes watching with rapt attention, the other boy’s phone shaking just slightly. Another whine coming from Gale’s mouth, eyes squeezing shut.

“Wanna, I wanna see your cock. Wanna see you touch yourself…please John?” Gale whimpers out, shifting just slightly on the bed, trying to get a better angle. Opening his eyes to look at John, seeing the way he’s staring at him. Glasses reflecting the light just slightly, his jaw dropped open. His own cheeks tinged a pink color as he lays there, infatuated with the other boy.

“Baby…why don’t I just talk you through it? Are you…fuck are you fingering yourself?” John gets out, watching the little shudder course through Gale’s body. The blond bobbing his head in acknowledgement, moaning as he presses down on his prostate. Desperately wishing he had thought to grab the vibrator, it curved just right inside of him. A frown forming on his face as he lays there, opening his eyes to stare back at his boyfriend.

“Wanna see you cum…please, wanna know you feel good too. Don’t wanna use you.”

“Fuck baby you can use me anytime. God I wish I was there, have your pretty cock in my mouth and put my fingers inside of you. You make the prettiest sounds.” Gale whines softly at the image John is painting behind his eyelids. His fingers pressing into himself a little quicker now, dropping his phone down to flick on the light. Blinding himself momentarily, before he’s trying to set his phone on the nightstand. John groaning when he gets a decent view of Gale, naked on his bed.

“You have such a pretty cock baby…I say it all the time but it’s true. I want you to choke me with it, will you do that next time? Hold my hair and make me take your cock? Oh fuck Gale, how many fingers do you have in yourself?” The black haired boy asks, his stomach tightening slightly as he watches. Gale shifting himself around so he can splay his legs open for John to watch. Stuffing a pillow under his butt to angle himself up enough, knowing he’s been successful when he hears the moan let loose from the older boy.

“Fuck you look so good…want you to ride my face. Just want to get my mouth on you, I should have licked my fingers clean the last time. Put a third finger in baby…mine are bigger than yours…it’ll be a stretch. Oh fuck look at you.” John almost whimpers the end as he watches Gale stuff three of his fingers into himself. His other hand moving as he strokes himself, thighs splayed wide for John to see everything. The boy unable to take his eyes off of the way Gale is touching himself. Listening to the bitten off whimpers from the blond, almost able to hear the wet squelch of lube.

“J John…I’m gonna cum.” Gale gasps out as his thighs tense, pressing against his prostate with every in stroke. His other thumb rubbing quick circles over his tip, a little puddle of precum on the skin below his belly button. Making the hair there sticky, the little mole on his skin shiny. His fingers pushing into himself quicker now, chasing his orgasm. Whines starting up as he works himself towards the edge, listening to John.

“Cum for me doll…cover yourself in it. That’s it, keep going. Fuck I want to watch you lick it off your fingers afterwards…and you’re gonna look at me while you do it. Fuck baby, yes fuck that’s it. You’re a good boy for me, fucking yourself so nicely when I’m not there.” Gale sobs out as he starts to orgasm, strips landing on his stomach and chest. Shivers rolling up his spine as he squeezes around himself tighter, fingers pushed against his sweet spot. Working himself through the aftershocks, able to hear John praising him on the other end of the phone. Glad he popped an ear bud in, not wanting Marge to hear the debauched way John is talking.

He slips his fingers from himself, whining softly at the loss, before he’s going to move so he’s facing John better. Blown pupils meeting the older boy’s, seeing how spit slick his lips are. No doubt from the boy biting down into them, his cheeks a pink color. Gale looks at him, bringing his fingers up to lick them clean. Bucky letting out a little whimper, his jaw dropping open. The blond making a bit of a show of it, sucking his cum off of his fingers.

“Jesus fucking Christ doll…I’m definitely getting you in my mouth next time.” John states once he’s caught his breath, Gale smiling and chuckling a bit. Laying in his bed, blissed out, a little tingly, and now getting sleepy. Turning his head to look back at his boyfriend, he sees him shifting in the bed. Wincing at the pull in his back as he tries to adjust the pillow behind his butt.

“Next time…I’m getting you in my mouth John. You’re lucky I had already started…as much as I enjoyed you talking me through it. I don’t like feeling like I’ve used you…” Gale tells the older boy, shifting to grab his phone, rising from his bed. Snagging his briefs and sneaking out of the bedroom to clean himself in the bathroom quickly.

Putting his finger to his mouth, even though Marge wouldn’t be able to hear John’s voice at all. Wiping himself up and using the restroom before he slides his deep blue briefs back up. Going back to his room and grabbing his pajama pants, pulling those on before he gets into bed. Rubbing his eye and flipping off the lamp, surrounded in darkness again aside from his phone screen.

“Go ahead…I can see it, you’re bursting at the seams.”

“You didn’t use me, I haven’t tried touching myself since the accident. The last time we did anything, it’s the first time someone has touched me since then. I feel awkward playing with my soft dick, don’t know how to do it, not used to not getting hard anymore. I definitely enjoyed watching you touch yourself, it might have single handedly been the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” John states as he looks at his boyfriend, reaching for the remote to lower the upper portion of his bed. Trying to take some pressure off of his back, Gale watching him. Waiting for the boy to get more comfortable, tugging up his blanket to cover his shoulders. The deep green comforter brought from home by his little sister, a little weighted and keeping John pleasantly warm.

“I respect what you’re saying…I want you to know though. It still turns me on to see your dick, even if it is soft. I still enjoy making you cum, watching your facial expressions. Listening to your sounds, it’s still hot to me. You don’t ever have to touch yourself, but never be embarrassed about it. Because, I enjoy your cock, and I think if we work together we can make it good for you.” John feels his face get hot, the tips of his ears burning a little bit. Burying his face in the blanket for a minute as he contemplates what he wants to say. His glasses fogging up just a little bit as he lays there with a little smile on his face. Gale smiling victoriously, he rarely ever got John to go quiet.

“Waxing poetic on me here Buck. Really know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Nah…I just know how to make you feel special.” The blond responds while smiling a little to himself, eyes closing as he listens to the soft chuckle flow through the speakers. Sleepiness invading his senses, body feeling heavy and relaxed from his orgasm. Listening as John says something about talking more tomorrow, already too far gone in sleep to respond.

————————

“Buck what are you doing? I need to shower, I smell.” John says as he gets wheeled into his room, the door clicking closed behind them both. Gale humming softly as he rolls the older boy over to his bed, grabbing the remote to lower it down.

“You are getting a massage today, and I’m going to suck your cock.” Gale states with a little shrug like it’s not a big deal, John choking on his Gatorade as he looks up at his boyfriend. Eyes widening as he sees that he is completely serious, the blond getting the bed down. Turning back to look at John with a little smirk on his lips.

“So do you want your massage first or your cock sucked? Because I’m down for either right now.”

“Jesus Christ Gale…what if someone walks in?” John gets out, clutching the bottle in his hand tightly. Feeling arousal pooling in his lower stomach, his eyes wide. Gale sits on the side of the bed, pulling John over towards himself. His large hands sliding up the older boy’s thighs, squeezing gently before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s cheek. Kissing in a slow move over to the other boy’s lips, pushing his mouth against his. Sucking and nipping at his lower lip, dragging a hand up to grab at John’s chest, pinching at his nipple over his shirt.

“If someone knocks at the door, you’re going to tell them you’re laying down for a nap…do you want me to suck your cock John?” Gale murmurs as he drags his nose across the older boy’s jaw, moving over to nip at his ear. Goosebumps forming on John’s skin, his eyes fluttering closed. Whimpering when Gale slides his hand into his shirt to pinch and tug at his nipple. His other hand rubbing down onto John’s length through his shorts, squeezing slightly. The black haired boy whining at the dual sensations, hands gripping the arm rests of his chair.

“Fuck…of course I want you to suck my cock doll…oh fuck.” He gasps out when Gale pushes his hand into his shorts and briefs, gliding across the hair on John’s pelvic bone. Scratching through it gently, before he curls his hand around John’s soft cock. Squeezing gently, letting go and continuing on to cup the older boy’s balls. Rubbing his thumb over the globes, massaging them in his palm. Listening to the hiccuping breaths coming from John, bringing his face back so he can watch the other’s expressions.

“Does it feel good John?” The black haired boy nods, eyes fluttering closed as he moans softly. His stomach sucking in when Gale grips him a little tighter, tugging softly before letting go. Pulling John’s shorts down enough for his length to spill out, both of them looking down. John opening his mouth, before making a sound as two of Gale’s fingers are shoving past his lips.

“Don’t…I can see you getting ready to apologize, I’ll stop if you do. Let me play with you, let me make you feel good, yea?” The blond asks as he looks at the other boy, seeing him bob his head, a smile forming on his face. Slipping his fingers from John’s mouth as he slides down onto the floor. Situating John’s foot pedals so he can scoot closer, pulling his hair into a low bun. Securing it with a hair tie off of his wrist, his hands skimming across the other’s thighs. Humming softly as he does, smiling at the black haired boy.

“You always say my cock is pretty…have you seen yours? It’s so thick John, I’d feel you for days.” Gale states as he wraps his hand around his length, squeezing softly and tilting him up. Leaning down to lick across his tip, hearing the little whimper fall from Bucky’s mouth. His eyes flicking up while he smiles, before he’s flattening his tongue. Licking down the underside, going down to his balls and sucking one into his mouth. Laving his tongue around, humming softly and shifting to the other one. Making a popping sound when he pulls off, dragging his tongue back up John’s cock.

“Oh fuck Gale…keep going…please.” John murmurs as his lower stomach spasms, his eyes flicking to the door. Before he’s groaning at the feel of Gale wrapping his lips around his tip, sucking and flicking his tongue. Dipping it into the little slit, while his long fingers squeeze and move in little increments. Bucky’s eyes dropping back down to watch, one of his hands coming down to clutch at Gale’s bicep where it’s resting on his thigh. Whining when he feels the blond suck at him a little harder, dipping his head in an even motion now.

“You look so pretty…your lips are so pretty. Fuck Gale, oh fucking shit.” The black haired boy pants out as his nose scrunches up, his hand desperately gripping at Gale’s bicep. Gale moaning as he gets a little salty taste suddenly, flicking his tongue back up to John’s tip. Looking up to watch as John’s head falls back, the pale expanse of his neck exposed. Gale sliding his hand down to squeeze and massage his balls, tugging at them slightly. John’s free hand slapping up to cover his mouth as he moans, blunt nails digging into Gale’s inner arm. The blond presses all of the way down, nose touching the hair at John’s base. Swallowing around him, his tip touching the back of his throat and lodging there perfectly.

“I’m, fuck, Gale, I’m gonna cum. P pull up, fuck pull up.” John gasps out, shuddering at the growl released from Gale’s chest. Eyes flicking down to meet the little glare on the blond boy’s face. Feeling as Gale rubs his balls again, squeezing and massaging. Looking right up at John and watching as the tears well in the black haired boy’s eyes. His chin tipping to his chest as he starts to orgasm, jaw dropping open with stuttered out whimpers. Gale’s eyes fluttering a little as he tastes the dribbles spilling from John, salty and a little bitter. Pulling back slowly, licking at him the entire time as he goes. Before he’s popping off, panting quietly as he kneels between John’s legs on the floor.

“Did so well John, tastes so good.” Gale murmurs, voice a little hoarse as he carefully helps tuck the older’s cock away. Leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of John’s lips, smiling when he is being nose bumped. Their lips meeting in a kiss, both of them letting out soft sounds as they sit there. Before Gale is hoisting himself up onto the side of John’s bed, resting his forehead on the older’s. Jumping a bit when he feels John’s warm palm sliding up his thigh, squeezing softly.

“This was about you, I’m alright. Let’s get you into the shower and then I’m rubbing you down with this oil that Marge swears by.” The blond says smiling softly as he looks at his boyfriend, John taking a deep breath. Looking up at Gale with slightly sleepy eyes, the workout from PT combined with the blowjob making him tired. His large hand going around to hold the back of Gale’s neck and head. Pulling him close for a kiss, sucking gently at the blond’s lower lip. Both of them melting into the touch, just enjoying the push and pull of their mouths.

“You’re going to tell me if I hurt you at all right?” Gale asks as he kneels over the backs of John’s calves, the boy stripped down to his basket ball shorts. Fresh from the shower, skin still a little damp, curls wet and floppy. His head pillowed by his forearms, bed completely flat giving them plenty of room. The bottle of oil that Marge insisted he get for this warming between Gale’s hands.

“I’ll let you know Buck, can’t hurt worse than it always does anyways.” Bucky responds with a little shrug, resting his heavy head on the back of his hands. Gale frowning at that comment, before he’s uncapping the bottle and squeezing some into his palm. Dropping the bottle onto the bed, rubbing his hands together, and gently setting them to one of John’s thighs. Feeling the coarse, curly hair there digging his thumbs in gently. Working the tense muscles with a careful touch, covering John’s entire thighs and going down to his calves.

“You’re in pain because your muscles are like locked in an iron grip. God damn John.” Gale mumbles as he rubs and digs his thumbs in, listening to the even breathing that John is doing. The boy not responding to most of the touches, even if his skin goosebumps up. The sensation is dull, tingling going up his legs, before Gale is moving up his thighs again. Smirking as he massages the tense muscles under John’s butt, squeezing gently.

“Trying to get fresh with me Buck?” Gale snorts softly as he shakes his head a bit, smiling as he continues on his journey. Feeling John stiffen a bit when he gets to his hips, tugging the waist band of his shorts down slightly. Looking at the scars sitting there, before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips to the line. The scar tissue thick, raised up off of John’s skin, and a dark reddish pink color. Still in the process of fully healing, a little shudder going up the older boy’s back. More goosebumps rising as he lays there, able to fully feel Gale’s hands on him now.

“I already got fresh with you John…I’m trying to get you to relax for me.” The blond answers as he drips more oil into his hands and warms it. Before he’s massaging the pale expanse of the other boy’s back, rubbing his thumbs in soothing swipes. Feeling the tension slowly leaking out of John’s body, his eyes fluttering closed.

Letting a soft sigh spill from his lips, feeling the way Gale rests on his thighs. Being mindful of how hard he presses on certain areas, admiring the imperfections in John’s skin. Freckles, moles, stretch marks along his hips and under his arm pits. A few faint scars from bad acne breakouts, followed by the surgical scars lining his spine.

“That feels good…thank you.” John hums softly, muscles feeling like goo as he lays there. Eyes closed, cheek squished against the back of his hand, body completely lax. Gale smiles a bit as he continues, finishing up by John’s neck and shoulders. Pressing his forehead against the back of John’s barely damp curls. Breathing deeply, getting hit with the coconut scent of his shampoo and conditioner.

“You don’t have to thank me…but you’re welcome.” Gale murmurs as he turns John’s head with a bump of his nose to his ear. Smiling as he places a kiss to John’s cheek, nuzzling close for a minute. Feeling the way John’s cheek crinkles up with a smile, both of them breathing quietly for a few moments.

“I love you.” Gale whispers after a few minutes, his heart freezing in his chest. Not at all having expected that to spill out from his mouth, pulling away from John’s face. Seeing the way John has turned his head more to try and look at Gale. His own eyes wide, making Gale want to shrink away worried that he’s just ruined all of this.

“I love you too Gale.” John responds in a soft voice, trying to shift so he can look at the blond boy. Gale moving off of his body, sitting next to him with slick hands. Staring at his palms, heart still racing, stomach in knots. Before he feels John’s big fingers gently touching his cheek, getting him to meet his gaze.

“I mean it Gale…I really do love you. I think I have for a while now.”

“I love you too John…which terrifies me…” John nods his head in understanding, rubbing his thumb across Gale’s high cheek bone. Before he’s bringing the blond’s forehead against his own, their noses bumping. Both of them breathing quietly, John not wanting to overwhelm Gale at all. His fingers rubbing and massaging the nape of his neck, gently playing with the longer strands.

“What scares you about it?” The black haired man asks softly as he rubs his thumb under Gale’s ear gently. Reaching for the little towel he keeps by his bedside, offering it to Gale to wipe his hands off. Watching as the blond meticulously wipes the oil off of his hands, making sure it’s not stuck between his fingers at all.

“I’ve never had someone love me for just being me. Except for Marge…and Marge has seen me through some awful stuff. I’ve never had someone love me just because they want to, it usually comes with stipulations. My dad used me when he could and he beat me because he could. My mom had her own issues, she was a bipolar depressive woman who had a kid she didn’t want. This is all new for me…and new scares me. I’m scared you’re going to look at me one day and decide you don’t want me anymore. I’m terrified that I’m going to hurt you like my dad and mom hurt me. I don’t want that to happen, I don’t want us to turn into them.” Gale explains as he stares at his hands, John laying on his side staring at his boyfriend. Before he’s gently turning the blond’s face to look at him, eyes soft and tender. Brushing his long strands of hair back, trying to get the other boy to look at him. Taking a deep breath in and choosing his words wisely.

“My love isn’t conditional…my love doesn’t demand you be anything but yourself. I love this Gale that’s sitting in front of me, this one sitting here is holding my heart in his hands. I didn’t know your parents, but if they were like mine. I’m aiming to be nothing like my dad, he was a mean piece of work when he wanted to be. And my ma didn’t deserve that, I have no idea why she’s still with him. I’m not saying this to compare trauma either Gale. But if we don’t want to turn into them…then we’ve actively got to work to not be them.” John explains as he looks at the blond, finally getting his cornflower blue eyes to come up. A shiny glassy sheen over them, before he’s nodding his head in agreement. Letting John pull him into a hug, his chin resting on the other’s shoulder. His thinner arm curling around John’s waist, both of them just resting together.

“Just so you know…I’m absolutely going to randomly tell you I love you now. So good luck with that.” John murmurs a little while later, Gale smiling and letting a little chuckle slip from his mouth. Pressing a kiss to John’s cheek and snuggling close, enjoying how warm the older boy’s body is compared to his own.

“I won’t ever say no to you telling me you love me.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s cheek again, smiling when the older boy brings him over for a proper kiss. Gale making a mental note to get chapstick for John, but still enjoying the feel of his lips against his own.

————————

“Hi Gale, he’s back in his room. I know he’s had a headache, so he might be napping.” Nurse Hadley says smiling when she sees the blond making his way through the corridor. Having come from the floor above, therapy having been good that day. He had worked through a lot of emotions with Maureen pertaining to applying to school, and how that will change his life.

“Thank you Nurse Hadley.” He replies before heading down the hallway for Bucky’s room, a little pep in his step. He felt good today, not in a manic way where everything felt good with no consequences. But in a, life is getting a little better kind of way, a way he doesn’t feel like he’s treading water. Rather he’s floating in it, he’s able to relax just a smidge and breathe for the first time in forever.

Stepping into John’s room makes him smile, the sketches from Janelle are hanging on the wall, his giant calendar decorated for the month. There’s a few photos on his dresser now, the one of him and Curt placed delicately. The plastic covering it is still broken, but John won’t replace it. The smell in the room is completely John, his cologne mixed with his body wash.

Something woodsy, it reminds Gale of hiking in the summertime with Marge when they were younger. He looks up to see John sleeping in bed, laying on his left side with his pillows tucked all around him. His glasses are crooked on his face, like he fell asleep waiting, his phone face down on the bed. No doubt he was watching more ‘Great British Bake Off’, the obsession he had with that show Gale would never understand.

He quietly sets his satchel bag down on the chair, before he’s stepping over and gently taking off John’s glasses. Setting them on the tray table near by, picking up his phone to plug it in. Bucky was notorious for it just dying, he never seemed to realize it was dwindling down quickly. He goes to pull back John’s comforter, humming softly as he feels how soft it is between his fingers. Before he’s resting his hand on the bed to slide in, furrowing his brows at the wetness that meets his fingertips. Pulling his hand up and lifting the blankets a little more, his face is falling when realization takes over.

“John…honey, you’ve gotta get up. John.” Gale says quietly as he gently touches John’s shoulder with his dry hand. Trying not to startle the older boy, he runs his fingers through his curls softly. Before he gently shakes John, the older making a quiet sound as his face scrunches up. Squeezing his eyes shut before he’s opening them, smiling when his blurry eyes see Gale.

“Mm hi baby, I’m sorry. I didn��t mean to fall asleep. Come cuddle me.” John murmurs as he rubs his eye sleepily, briefly reminding Gale of a giant toddler. Lifting his head slightly, curls in a complete disarray before he’s able to see Gale’s expression. Shifting an arm down, his expression drops when he feels the wetness under him. Looking down quickly and almost making himself dizzy from the head tilt he sees the wet spot under him. Gale watching as a flurry of emotion filters across Bucky’s face, horror, shock, embarrassment, and then anger finally settling.

“John, it’s okay, let me call Rebecca or I think Sam is here today. It’s okay honey.” John doesn’t bring his eyes up to Gale, pushing the blankets down and glaring at his lap. His big hand is trying to blindly reach for his chair next to the bed. Groping around the air for it, before he’s suddenly almost tipping off the bed. The blond letting out a squawk and lunging for him, grabbing him by his shirt and kneeling in the wet spot with one knee. Keeping John stationed on the bed, their foreheads almost colliding.

“John stop, you’re going to hurt yourself. Let me call Sam in and he can help you. If you won’t let me, let him. I don’t want you to brain yourself on the floor. It was an accident, they happen, you couldn’t control that.” Gale is saying even as Bucky is shaking his head a bit. Hot tears forming in his eyes as he sits there, mortification sitting heavily in his stomach. A little whimper coming up his throat as he sits there, looking down at the bed again. Another sound slipping from his mouth when he sees that Gale is kneeling in his urine.

“I’m not a toddler…toddlers have accidents. I fucking pissed myself like a toddler. And now you’re fucking kneeling in it, you put your hand in it. All because I couldn’t fucking remember to go pee before I got into bed.” John gets out, trying desperately to not break down and cry. He did not want to cry in front of Gale, it would solidify his toddler stand point.

Refusing to meet the blond’s eyes as they both stay in the bed, before he’s catching the movement of Gale’s hand going to hit the call light. A defeated puff of air leaving his throat, a few hot tears of shame leaking down his cheeks. Before he’s quickly scrubbing his hands across his face when the knock on the door sounds. Nurse Hadley smiling as she steps in, before she’s seeing Gale holding both of John’s forearms.

“How can I help?” She’s asking as she closes the door 3/4 of the way, pumping hand sanitizer into her palm and stepping over. Eyes assessing everything she can see, landing on the wet spot on the bed, before she gets eyes on John again. Gale takes a deep breath as he looks at his boyfriend, waiting for him to talk. Not knowing how John wants to word this, not wanting to upset him any further.

“I need to take a shower…had an…I had an accident.” John mumbles the ending, Hadley nodding her head and going towards the connected bathroom. Turning on the shower head before stepping back out, lowering the bed a bit and pulling John’s chair over. Gale meets the nurse’s eyes for a second, before he’s watching her grab one of the towels off of John’s dresser and setting it on the seat.

“Okay, can you slide over? That’s it.” Hadley murmurs as she helps John into his chair, Gale letting go of his forearms. Kneeling there for a minute before John is slowly wheeling himself to the bathroom. Nurse Hadley is standing there for a minute, before she’s stepping over to the door frame. Letting John know she’ll bring him in some fresh towels, and to let her know when he’s ready to come out.

“I can change his sheets…I don’t think his comforter is dirty.“ Gale murmurs as he slowly gets off the bed, pushing said blanket down towards the foot of it. Wincing a little at the wetness coating the knees of his jeans, but knowing John probably has pants he can burrow. Hadley steps out into the hallway quietly, flagging down Rebecca to get towels, fresh sheets, and John’s pain medicine.

“John…can I come in? I need to wash my hands and change my pants.” Gale asks after he’s knocked on the door, hearing an affirming noise come from the older boy. He steps inside, being met by the steam from the shower, breathing deeply as he goes to wash his hands quietly. A pair of John’s joggers tucked under his arm, a drawstring on the waist so he can pull them snug on himself. He leans against the counter for a second, looking at the outline of John sitting under the water. His shower chair being pelted by the stream, while he sits there staring at the wall.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m burrowing your pants…I don’t have any here.” Gale says as he stands there, chewing on his lower lip. The water cutting off suddenly, John moving the curtain to the side to look at him. His eyes red rimmed, no doubt he had been crying in the shower. His curls are sopping wet on his forehead, almost reminding Gale of a long haired cat when they get wet. But his heart breaking at the expression on John’s face, his features trying to show no emotion. His eyes the only thing giving away how utterly devastated he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry you got my piss on your pants. I’m sorry my useless body can’t fucking work right. I’m sorry my dick doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. I’m sorry Gale.” John almost whimpers the end, the blond dropping the jogger pants onto the counter behind himself. Pressing his front to the other boy’s wet chest, not giving a damn if his sweater and shirt get soaked. His arms curling around the back of John’s neck to keep his face pressed against Gale’s chest. While John sits in the shower chair, crying quietly into the blond’s shirt.

“Your body isn’t useless John, you have no idea how strong you are. You’ve been through so much, you didn’t do anything wrong. Nobody is mad at you, except for you, you’re being your own worst enemy right now. You’re punishing yourself for something out of your control sweetheart.” Gale tells him softly, holding him close and rubbing his nose across his wet hair, squeezing him just a little tighter. Feeling as the shaking subsides in John’s shoulders, little wet sniffles coming from the older boy. Gale can feel shivers starting up John’s body, looking up just as Nurse Hadley is stepping in with towels.

Smiling softly at them, both Gale and Hadley wrapping John in two towels. One just wasn’t enough to cover his broad body, before she’s helping John transfer into his chair. Something he usually has no issues with but his entire body was drained. Arms shaking slightly, brain feeling exhausted and gooey, before he’s letting Hadley wheel him out. Gale changing his pants quickly before stepping out, watching as John gets dressed slowly. The older boy silently offering the blond a shirt, knowing he soaked his through.

“John, I’ve got your pain medicine here.” Nurse Hadley says softly as she comes over with the little medicine cup, John situated in his bed now. Pillows tucked around him to keep him comfortable, heating pad pressed into his middle spine. Gale tucking the comforter around his body, before he’s grabbing his water bottle. The thing covered in stickers courtesy of Janelle, John’s younger sister collecting them just to come and slap them on the metal bottle. Bucky accepts the medicine cup, tipping his head back and taking his water to wash them down.

“Gale…can you just, hold me for a little while tonight?” John murmurs once the blond has gotten into the bed again, blankets tucked around them both. Gale smiling a little and nodding his head, helping John shift around. Until Bucky is tucked into his side, his arm curled over Gale’s torso, head nestled into the crook of Gale’s neck and shoulder. While the blond gently rubs his back, fingers soft and sweet.

“I love you John.”

“I love you too Gale.”

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“Hi Brady…can I sit?” Benny asks smiling as he looks at the brunet boy, sitting on a bench in the court yard. The soft mid summer breeze blowing through his hair, the sun shining down and making him almost look angelic. Brady looks up and squints softly, seeing Benny standing there before he’s nodding his agreement. The tanned boy smiling as he sits down, keeping enough distance between them.

“No Meatball today?” Brady asks, voice soft with unsureness, trying not to fidget where he’s sitting. Benny is smiling softly when he sees that Brady’s rosary is laying across his thigh, not clasped in his hands today. He could pass for almost calm, if it wasn’t for his fingers tapping a rhythm against his thigh.

“Nah, it’s a little too hot out for him today. But I still wanted to come by…and see you.” Brady is silent for a few minutes, mulling words over in his head. His stomach feeling like it’s wrapped itself around a telephone pole, his palms breaking out in a sweat. The boy wanting to scrub his hands clean, he hated being sweaty. He hated the feel of it on his skin, he hated the feeling of it drying, he hated it all together.

“Benny…I, I really like you. I’ve liked you for a long time now, and I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never wanted to hold someone’s hand the way I want to hold yours. I’ve never wanted to see someone smile the way I want to see you smile. I’m, I’m scared Benny. But I don’t want to be scared anymore.” Brady blurts out suddenly, his eyes squeezing shut as he sits there. His heart in his throat, stomach dropping before he’s frantically grabbing for his beads. Fiddling with them as he tries to calm himself down, Benny giving him a minute. Trying to formulate his own words, a pleasant bubble of happiness blooming in his chest. A little grin tugging at the edges of his lips, before he sees the drop of Brady’s shoulders.

“I like you too Brady…I don’t want you to be scared either. We can take this at your pace, there’s no rush. I’d be happy to just sit next to you every day, but I’d be absolutely okay with holding your hand. What if we start out small? Maybe just locking pinkies for now?” Benny offers as he holds up his hand, flicking out his pinky as if he’s getting ready to make promises. Brady looks at him, the breath leaving his lungs in a slow puff. Before he’s nodding a little and raising his hand up, linking their pinkies together shyly. Eyes closing at the skin to skin contact, something he hasn’t allowed willingly for a very long time. Not seeing the smile that graces Benny’s features as he sees the way Brady’s shoulders slump into a calm posture.

————————

“Curt this is Buck, Buck this is Curt.” John introduces as all three of them sit in the rec area. Curt snorts softly as he looks at his best friend before he’s looking at Gale. The blond’s eyebrows scrunching together, wondering if Curt is judging him. Before the black haired boy is leaning over and shoving Bucky’s shoulder slightly.

“You named him Buck? Jesus Christ Bucky, you shoulda just tattooed your name on him if you were gonna mark your claim.” Curt says before he’s laughing and shaking his head slightly, smiling at the younger boy. Gale looking at his boyfriend just to see him smiling a little bit at his fingers. Curt wiping the tears off of his cheeks, hearty laughs finally subsiding. Before he’s looking at Gale again and grinning cheekily, shoving his hand out for a handshake.

“My name is actually Gale, but he wouldn’t accept that as an answer when we first met.” The youngest says as he shakes Curt’s hand, feeling the callouses on his fingers. Similar to the way John’s palms were bumped over from wheeling himself in his chair. Curt shoots him a smile before he’s looking at Bucky again, causing Gale to look over. Slightly shocked to see the heated flushed covering John’s cheeks up to the tips of his ears.

“Why am I not surprised? This bastard is territorial if you haven’t noticed by now. But it’s nice to meet you Gale, he hasn’t shut up about you whenever I come by. ‘Buck this’ and ‘Buck that’, it’s good to put a face to a name. Not that he hasn’t shown me pictures.” Curt goads while smirking at his best friend, John groaning quietly at the ribbing he’s receiving. Gale smiling a little as he looks at the older boy, watching the blush get darker on his skin. John bringing his palms up to rub across his face, a bashful expression on his features.

“Alright, alright stop it now. You’ve made a fool of me enough today. I’m going to regret introducing you both.” John groans loudly as he shakes his head, reaching for Gale’s hand to hold it in his own. John was tactile, he liked to be touched and to touch. Buck rubs his thumb across the older’s knuckles in a gentle swipe. Feeling the little squeeze he gets in return, smiling softly as he does.

“Yea…he is a bastard isn’t he?” Curt cracks up again, laughing loudly as he sits there. Shaking his head with a giant smile lighting up his entire face, eyes crinkling. Making Gale chuckle softly while John tips his head back, just glad that two of the most important people in his life are getting along.

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“Careful of the lip, Janelle make sure the chair doesn’t hit the door.” Janie says as she pushes John’s chair through the threshold of his and Curt’s new apartment. Both boys renting out a handicap accessible place, John unable to live by himself quite yet. Gale and him had briefly talked about moving in together, but had decided against it. Gale was still new in his own recovery, and taking care of John would be too much. Curt had happily offered to move in with John, it got him out of his Nan’s house, and he missed seeing John every day.

“If the wall gets scuffed it isn’t a problem, don’t worry about it girls.” Curt says from where he’s setting John’s bags down on the couch, smiling at his friend. Seeing the smile that John flashes back, the car ride over had been eventful. John hadn’t ridden in a car since he was transferred from the hospital to the rehab center. He was white knuckling the door the entire time, Janie’s little car was hard for him to get into. It had pinched his back a bit, making the muscles tense and strain. Janelle had been talking a mile a minute in the backseat, while Curt and Gale had followed in his car with John’s stuff.

“This place is so cute! Aww John your room has a really good view of the pond back here! I bet there will be ducks and swans too!” Janelle squeals happily, having stepped off to explore once they got John inside all of the way. Gale searching in the bags for John’s medicine, knowing without a doubt his boyfriend is in pain. Janie fussing over John’s curls, brushing them off his forehead. While Curt is bringing John’s stuff to his room, his special bed already having been delivered. Any speciality pillows he needed sitting on the king sized mattress.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t meet before Gale, our schedules just never seemed to align. But I’ve heard a lot about you, you’ve got my brother smitten.” The older girl says, smiling as she looks up from her brother. Her smile exactly like John’s making her pretty blue eyes crinkle up, her own curly hair pulled up into a claw clip. John makes a soft sound, scrunching his nose, while Gale smiles a little bit. Stepping over with John’s metal water bottle, and a pain pill in his palm.

“I’ve been told that a few times now…it’s really nice to meet you too Janie. John has told me a lot about you and Janelle. Here John…it’s one of the lower dose pills.” He murmurs as he holds out the white tablet, before he’s offering the bottle next. John accepting both, wincing as he shifts in his chair again. Janie frowning when she sees how much pain her brother is in, brushing his hair back again softly. Gale smiling a little when he sees how much John’s sister loves him, and how much he loves her in return. Already opening his mouth to insist that he’s fine, just stiff from PT, even though he hadn’t had PT that day.

“Speaking of PT, when do you go back? How many days a week?” Curt asks as he steps back into the room, looking at the other three. Janelle already in John’s room, unpacking his bags for him. Janie out at her car, getting her scissors and hair cutting tools, commenting that John’s hair was too long. It needed to be trimmed up, his face needing a good shave too and she was determined to do it for him.

“I go back on Monday, it’ll be three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” John murmurs as he sits in his chair, slightly overwhelmed from everything that has happened in just the last few hours. Gale brushes his fingers over John’s neck, rubbing in a gentle motion. Smiling softly before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s lips, bumping their noses together softly. John reaching for him to tug him close, Gale slipping into his lap, his arm curling around the older’s neck.

“Ugh stop it you two…you’re gonna make me hurl.” Curt groans as he comes to the living room carrying a drink for himself, Janelle giggling as she comes down the hallway. While Janie steps back into the apartment, carrying her hair cutting tools and a box. Smiling when she sees John and Gale sitting together, a blush rising on the blond’s cheeks before he’s shyly trying to get off of John’s lap. John letting out a little sound, lips pushing out in a pout at the loss of his boyfriend in his lap.

“C’mon…your sister wants to cut your unruly mop.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s forehead, before he’s wheeling him into the bathroom. Janie smiling as she follows behind, watching as John gently wraps his hand around Gale’s wrist. Bringing the blond boy’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles, breathing deeply as they stay together for a moment.

“I’m going to make sure Curt doesn’t order the entire menu at the pizza place. I’ll be just a call away though if you want me back in here.” Gale says after a quiet minute, kissing John’s forehead shyly. Slipping out around Janie, before she’s stepping in and smiling a little. Janelle sneaking into the room to sit on the closed toilet lid, bringing her knee up to rest her chin on. Staring at her brother’s profile, smiling when she wants him breathing evenly.

“When are you two getting married?” The youngest Egan asks with a smile on her lips, John makes a sound at that. Shaking his head a bit before Janie is keeping his head still, combing out his curls. Being mindful of any tangles or snarls he might have, smiling when she sees how relaxed he becomes. He always reminded her of a dog when he was little, a few scratches to his head and he was putty. Rolling over and showing his belly to whoever gave him the attention.

“We’ve only been together for a few months Janelle…I don’t think either of us are thinking of marriage yet.” John says as he feels Janie beginning to cut his hair. Hearing the little scoff his baby sister lets out, the flick placed to his arm making him huff. Janie making a sound to tell him to keep still, concentrating on just trimming. She wasn’t cutting his curls off, they had spent too much time getting them to look good. She had taught him too much to just lob them all off, and he had spent too much money on curl care products.

“The way you two look at each other is true love. And you can’t tell me I’m wrong, I just won’t listen to it.” Both of the older Egans chuckle at that, smiling a bit at their sister’s antics. Janie brushing the stray hairs away from his collar, tilting his head to work on the sides. Her eyes meeting John’s in the mirror, smiling at him softly. Leaning down to kiss the top of his head, going back to trimming the sides of his hair.

“I do love him, but I don’t think we’re ready for marriage quite yet Jelly Bean.” She huffs and waves her hand at him, making Janie chuckle quietly. Running her fingers through the younger boy’s hair, shaking the curls out. Gauging how much more she’s going to trim off, humming softly as she goes. Something both her and John do, hum to themselves whenever they’re trying to concentrate. It didn’t matter the tune, didn’t matter the song, it was just a constant stream of noise coming from them.

“What do you think of him Janie?” John murmurs once Janelle has wandered off to see what’s been ordered for dinner. The older girl shifts him around to get to the front of his head, trimming up the pieces that cover his forehead. Getting them all to fall into their rightful places, pushing them back and smiling at her brother.

“I think he’s incredibly sweet Johnny, I can see how much you both care for one another. I’m glad he’s been there for you when we couldn’t be. Has ma met him yet?” John lets out a soft breath, shaking his head a bit. Watching as Janie nods softly in understanding, snipping a few more pieces of hair. Changing out her scissors for some texturizing ones, not that the boy needed the volume. She leans down and kisses his forehead, something she hasn’t had to do since he was 10 and she was 15. He had shot up and towered over her, the boy always the one to lean down to give her kisses and hugs.

“I get it, I know mama misses you, but she’s a grown adult, she’s known where you’re at. It’s on her if she hasn’t come to see you…I’m not going to preach about them. You’re home, you’re safe, and I love you.” The black haired girl states as she looks down at him, seeing the little quirk of his lips. She smiles at him, before she’s tilting his head up to look at him better. Hugging around his neck, kissing his forehead and breathing deeply. John’s arms wrapping around her waist, both of them just enjoying this moment. Janie not taking for granted the feel of her little brother in her arms again.

She had been terrified when she got the call from their mom, had rushed down in the middle of the night. She had been one of the first in the room to see him, one of the first to touch him when he was in the coma. She had made the phone calls to people, she was the strong one. She was always the strong one when it came to her younger siblings, she was nick named Mother Hen for a reason. She took care of her babies, whether they were actually her’s or not.

“I love you too Janie.” John murmurs into her shirt, squeezing her tight to himself. Breathing in her soft familiar lotion, the feel of her hands on him comforting. More comforting than even their mother’s hands, she was always there for him. If he ever had an issue he knew he could go to Janie. She never pushed him away, she never judged him, she raised him more than his mother did. And he loved his mom, but nobody would ever take the place of Janie.

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John has been home for exactly a week when he has his first nightmare, he had worked hard that day. PT was grueling, a migraine had taken place behind his eye, and his spine felt brittle. Resigning himself to bed early had been a no brainer for him, texting Gale to let him know. He was passed out before he even got a chance to see if Gale had responded.

John is back in the jeep with Ham behind the wheel, loud music is blasting from the speakers. Curt is in the backseat singing the music loudly, all three of them are laughing. All three of them had partaken in drinking at the frat party they had gone to. John is looking over and suddenly he’s seeing the curve coming into view, and he’s reaching for the wheel. Everything is in slow motion, it’s all happening and there’s no way for him to stop it. Glass is shattering, cutting his cheeks, the sound of it ear piercing. The sound being his own screams, mixed with Curt’s before he’s being propelled from the seat. Belt failing and snapping, going through the windshield and slamming into the ground. White hot burning pain taking over, agony ripping down his body.

John is bolting up, screams flowing from his mouth, his blankets tangling him up. Suffocating him, trapping him in place, and he’s shoving everything away. Trying to get out of bed, trying to get away from the things pinning him down. Knocking into his night stand, before he’s tumbling out of bed, the lamp on his table following him in his descent to the floor. The glass bulb shattering and spewing everywhere, a few pieces knicking his cheek. All while he’s fighting the sheets and still screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Ham! Stop the car! Stop! Please stop!” He’s shrieking, trying to kick his legs but unable to, stuck laying in a sprawl on the wood floor of his bedroom. Upper body on the ground while his lower half is caught in the sheets, causing him to almost dangle. Hot tears are rolling thickly down his cheeks, he doesn’t hear the door opening. Or Curt’s voice trying to soothe him, but he does feel hands touching him. Making him wail louder, pushing and fighting against it, not wanting it to drag him under. Under to the dark place that almost took him all those months ago.

“Bucky! Bucky it’s me! It’s Curt, I’m here. You’re alright, John it’s a nightmare!” Curt is trying to say, receiving a few hits to his chest and arms. Trying hard to not restrain his best friend, but not wanting him to roll right into the broken glass. He isn’t even blinking before he’s grabbing John’s phone, typing in the passcode and hitting the familiar contact. Trying desperately to get John to stop howling, his voice having gone hoarse from the sound. Curt’s trying to get his lower half untangled from the sheets and blankets. Terrified John is going to hurt himself, the twisting and thrashing he’s doing making it worse.

“Hi honey, I thought you were…John?! What’s happening?!” Gale’s sleep filled voice is entering Curt’s ear, his own voice coated with tears. Throat feeling tight as he sits there, he knew exactly what John was feeling. He had nightmares like his for weeks after the accident, screaming himself awake. His Nan had almost had a heart attack the first time, and that was why he had moved himself into her basement.

“Gale, I can’t, John’s having a nightmare. I can’t get him to wake up. I don’t know what to do, please…I’m so sorry.” Curt can hear Gale moving on the other side, getting himself dressed and calling for Marge. Promising he’ll be there soon, the sound of John’s warbles heart breaking in the background. While Curt kneels there as if he’s going to pray, tears beginning to drip down his own face. Trying to make sure John doesn’t roll into the broken glass, trying to talk to him.

“We’re here, let us in. I’m here.” Gale pants almost 15 minutes later, John’s cries having quieted down to high pitched whimpers. Face smooshed into the cold wood of his bedroom floor, shakes racking up his body. Curt not daring to touch him, scared to leave him alone. But getting up and running for the front door, unlocking it and stepping off to the side. Gale and Marge both standing there, in their pajamas, hair sleep mussed. Mirrored worried expressions on their faces before Gale is rushing forward for his boyfriend. Marge takes one look at Curt, stepping inside and closing the door before she’s wrapping him into a hug.

“John…sweetheart, you’re home. It’s me, it’s Gale. I need you to wake up.” The blond says in his calmest voice, stepping in and seeing the mess next to the bed. Treading carefully before he’s kneeling by the bigger boy, brushing his hand over his head. Getting a broken, hoarse sob to come from John’s mouth.

Tears from his eyes having mixed with the blood from the few knicks in his cheeks. Gale’s heart breaking slightly as he looks down at him, hearing footsteps stop outside of the room. John openly bawling into the wooden floor boards, his arms curled under his body as if he’s protecting himself. If he could curl into a ball he would, Curt having finally gotten his legs untangled from the sheets.

“Can you get a broom and dustpan? I’m going to need help getting him up into the bed, I just want him to come back a little more.” The blond says, turning his head to see Marge and Curt standing side by side. Curt’s face dry now, a hug having been had between the pair of them.

Marge nodding softly and going to find the broom, while Curt goes to grab the first aid kit they have. Along with some of John’s meds, knowing he is no doubt going to be hurting. Gale continues murmuring to John, keeping his touch light. Before Curt and Gale are lifting him, Curt’s arms hooking under his armpits, while Gale gets him under the legs. Marge standing by worriedly, ready to help if they need it, pulling and adjusting the blankets and sheets.

“Hi sweetheart.” Gale murmurs when he sees John’s eyes opening slowly, brushing his hair back off of his forehead gently. The broken bulb having been swept away, a new one popped into the lamp. Gale gently cleaning the few cuts on John’s cheeks, the tv in the room playing soft music on YouTube. John blinks a few times, trying to clear his vision to look at his boyfriend better. A soft whimper escaping his mouth; before he’s closing his eyes at the onslaught of tears.

“I know; you’re safe, nothing can happen here. I’ve got you.” The blond promises as he kisses John’s forehead softly, continuing to gently clean the spots. Swiping neosporin across them, before he’s grabbing John’s water and medicine cup. Curt peeking into the room, the blond nodding softly at him. John swallowing his medicine down before he’s opening his eyes up to see Curt.

“Is it alright if I lay in here tonight?” Curt whispers, watching as John nods his head. The three of them laying in the large bed together, Marge having gone home once she knew John was in bed. Gale apologizing but thanking her once again, while she made him promise to text her in the morning. Curt’s body curls around John’s slightly, tucking close just to feel his best friend breathing. Gale laying in a way that John can press against his side, the three of them quiet. John already half asleep, exhausted from everything. While Curt lays there wide eyed, staring straight ahead at the wall.

“He’ll be okay…it just takes time. But he’ll be okay.” Curt says quietly almost like he’s talking to himself, the lights now out, the screen from John’s tv illuminating the space. A nature scene with calming piano music playing, something that always helped Gale calm down. He didn’t think John would want to wake up to a silent room, he never did when he had nightmares.

“Yea, he’ll be okay. He’s got a good support system. I mean, he’s got us.” Gale responds softly, looking at Curt to see him nodding in agreement. His nose tucked into the nape of John’s curls, arm around the taller boy’s waist to keep him close. Gale realizing this is just as much for Curt as it is for John right now. Curt needing to know his best friend is breathing and still alive. Gale lays there with them, quiet as he watches them both sleep now. Letting himself relax with a hand on the back of Curt’s head, all three of them falling asleep piled in John’s bed.

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“You’re comfortable?” Gale asks as he looks at John, both of them in John’s large bed. The mattress holding just enough squish for the taller boy’s broken body to not be as sore. His multitude of pillows stacked on the ground, one of his soft wedge pillows next to him. The red cover on it velvety feeling, he had ordered it on Amazon. Specifically labeled as an ‘assistive device for sexual intercourse’. Smiling a little as he looks at the blond, seeing the way he’s staring back at him. Cornflower blue eyes intense, but tinged with need, both of them were needy.

They had the apartment to themselves, Curt was gone at Ken’s for the entire weekend. They had been talking about this for awhile now, but between John’s schedule and Gale’s, they couldn’t nail down a time. Not for something like this, not for Gale to actually be inside of John. The blond wanted to take his time, wanted John to feel good the entire time. It was going to take maneuvering, pillows, patience, and time.

“I’m comfortable Gale…will you let me suck your cock now? Been thinking about it for ages, you have such a pretty cock. It’s truly a shame it’s not in my mouth every single day.” Bucky states making the younger boy let out a squawk at that, shaking his head a bit and laughing softly. One of his large hands coming up to rest on John’s chest, before he’s looking back down at the other boy. Seeing the dopey little smile forming on his face, before Gale is nodding a bit.

“How far are we going tonight? I’d really like to make you feel good too…maybe get my fingers in you? I’ve been doing some researching and stuff.” Buck trails off slightly as he feels John’s giant hand coming down to squeeze his bare thigh. Both of them were stripped down to their boxers, and Gale could feel how hard he was. Tip leaking against his skin where it was trapped against his hip, no doubt soaking through his underwear. Feeling John’s large thumb brushing across his inner thigh has him shivering, goosebumps forming.

“I’ve never, I’ve never bottomed before. But I want to try with you, just don’t know how much I’ll be able to move for you. Or we could get out the vibrator again, that was fun last time.” Bucky says as he lays there, he wasn’t usually nervous or awkward when it came to sex. He never had to be, he was always confident in what he wanted. He was confident in how to make someone else feel good, but this was different. Him and Gale had done quite a few things, the most memorable being watching Gale ride a dildo.

That one still got him hot under the collar, holding the toy for his boyfriend to ride while also being sucked off. Watching the blond move his hips was tantalizing, hypnotizing almost. The moans that he was letting out around John’s cock were enough to convince the older that bottoming was worth it. The entire experience was definitely in his top five sexual experiences ever to date.

“Was reading that prostate stimulation can help with erectile dysfunction, since it wasn’t your prostate that was affected or injured. Might help you get hard, and if it doesn’t…then you can just enjoy the sensation. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that then we don’t have to do that.” The black haired boy looks up at his boyfriend, John smiling lopsidedly at him before he’s tugging him down for a kiss. He can taste the mint chapstick that Gale uses, pressing his tongue into the other’s mouth briefly. Squeezing at the blond’s thigh again, feeling the wiry hair resting there. Hearing the moan that comes up from Buck’s throat, his hand slowly moves over to cup the other boy through his briefs.

“I still want your cock in my mouth, so if we can make that work then I’m down for anything.” Bucky states once their mouths have separated, Gale letting out a soft breathless laugh. Shaking his head just a little before he’s shifting off of the bed to go to his overnight bag. His cheeks blushing a crimson color as he goes to the bottom of it, pulling out his small travel bag. John’s eyes tracking his movements, shifting in the bed just slightly. Using his arms to slide himself to the middle of the bed better, watching as Gale turns back around.

“Traveling with sex toys now baby?” Bucky taunts watching as Gale’s cheeks burn a deeper shade of red. The blond climbing up onto the bed and crawling his way over, briefs almost tenting from how hard he is. While he climbs over John’s thighs and situates himself down comfortably. Holding up his hands to show off his treasures, the older boy looking down. A bottle of lube, a silicone sleeve, and a small wand vibrator all sitting there.

“What’s the uh, what’s the sleeve for?” He asks nodding at it, feeling his insides curling with a mixture of arousal and nervousness. Gale had more experience with toys than he did, the blond seeming to have a toy for just about anything they could think of. John had dabbled with vibrators before, but mainly on female partners. He hadn’t really used one on himself until he had gotten into bed with Gale that is.

“This, goes in this, and then slides up and sits around you. Figured it might feel nice, I know I like it when I’m bottoming sometimes. I also…wanted to get a mirror so you could watch. That one over there…thought we could pull it over.” John’s eyes trail over to the full length mirror resting against his closet door. Jaw dropping a bit to bring his pupils back over to Gale, seeing the flush on his cheeks. The aroused excitement unable to be contained in his blown eyes, his cock aching in his briefs. John’s large hands coming up to squeeze Gale’s hips, thumbs digging into his hipbones slightly.

“Do you think about it a lot? Fucking me?” John questions, feeling the full body shiver course up Gale’s spine. His head tipping back, showing off the long line of his throat. Hips rocking forward like he can’t help it, pushing himself against John’s lower chest slightly. Bucky can feel himself twitch just a little in his briefs, his hand coming down to grip around Gale’s cock through his underwear.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about it. I love watching your face when you cum…fuck John. I love making you feel good, want you to see how fucking good you look too. Wanna watch your face when I’m inside of you.” The blond rambles as he grinds against John’s palm, moaning as the older rubs his tip through the fabric. Bucky letting out a low groan as he looks up at the blond boy, arousal pooling lowly in his pelvis. Before he’s pushing Gale’s briefs down, tucking them under his pretty pink balls. Giving them a little squeeze, looking down to watch the way precum beads at the blond’s tip.

“Do you wanna fuck my face first? Take the edge off? Look like you’re gonna blow everywhere baby.” John says in a little breathless tease, moving his fist on the younger boy. Squeezing when he gets to the tip, Gale moaning lowly at the offer. Hips chasing the feel of Bucky’s closed fist, hands gripping John’s freckled shoulders tightly. Toys completely forgotten next to them, John groaning softly as he watches the younger boy.

“Take what you need baby…that’s it, fuck look at you. You’re desperate for it aren’t you? Love watching you make a mess of yourself…love tasting you.” John rambles as he squeezes around Gale tighter, bringing his other hand down to grope and tug at Gale’s balls. The blond sobbing quietly at the sensations, hips pushing quicker now. Precum dripping down from him onto John’s briefs, his hips stuttering slightly in their rocks. Blunt nails digging into Bucky’s bare shoulder, before he’s tensing and beginning to spurt across John’s stomach.

“Oh fuck, fuck John, oh god.” He whimpers out, toes curling behind himself so hard he almost pulls a muscle. Shuddering through his release, knocking the bigger man back into the pillows. Just to press close and kiss him, panting still but needing to feel the other’s mouth against his own. Gale pulling away after a minute, resting his sweaty forehead on John’s. Breathing deeply and looking down at him with a sheepish smile on his face.

“So…fucking me really gets you going yea?”

John asks with a little smile, looking up at the blond, seeing the way he blushes a deeper shade of red. His body shifting a bit so he can shove his face into John’s throat. Stomachs and pelvises pressing together, smearing Gale’s cum across both of their skin. The dark smattering of hair under Bucky’s belly button becoming sticky with it.

“Is now a bad time for me to tell you that I’ve never topped anyone before? It’s not gonna ruin the mood is it?” Gale asks once he’s pulled away from John’s collar bone, a dark hickey sitting there now. The older boy gently tilts Gale’s face up, before he’s leaning in and kissing him. Large palm cupping his cheek, brushing his thumb across the constellation of freckles the boy has under his eye.

“No, it doesn’t ruin the mood, it takes some pressure off honestly. We get to share a first together…and that’s, it’s kinda special yea?” John murmurs almost shyly as he looks at his boyfriend, smiling a bit as he sees Gale smiling. The blond feeling fondness welling in his chest at the absolute hopeless romantic his boy is. Both of them leaning in for another kiss, slower this time, with deeper meaning. Before Gale is pulling away, grabbing the wedge pillow and holding it up.

“Can I lay on my stomach? Or will that make it harder for you?” John asks as he looks at the younger boy, lifting his upper body up, watching as the blond holds the wedge pillow. The blond boy gets off of the bed for a second, pulling the mirror over so that they can both turn their heads to look. Stepping back over when he’s pleased with where it’s sitting, picking up the red pillow again.

“I don’t think it’ll make it harder, might make it easier actually. But is it going to hurt you? Wanna try it and make sure it won’t put pressure on your back?” Bucky nods his head, before he’s shifting around, Gale holding the pillow so it sits at John’s lower stomach. The taller shimmying his body, with the blond helping adjust his legs comfortably. The velvet on the pillow rubbing below John’s belly button, his butt and hips propped up. He adjusts his upper body slightly with his arms, while Gale tries not to hover.

“Can you…can you help me move my legs how you need them?” John questions, chewing on his lower lip, suddenly worried he looks absolutely ridiculous. Flicking his eyes back when he doesn’t get a response from his boyfriend, seeing the way Gale’s eyes are sweeping over his body. His cock already half hard again against his hip, before he’s snapping out of his revere.

“I’m gonna touch you now, let me know if it’s uncomfortable.” The blond says before he’s helping move the older’s legs, getting them into a sort of frog position. Reaching up to carefully adjust John’s length, not wanting it to get squished between the cushion and his body weight. Gale leans down and kisses the small of Bucky’s back, hands rubbing and squeezing up his thick thighs. Feeling the curly hair sitting there, dragging his thumbs over muscle and skin. Goosebumps rising on John’s skin, a shiver going up his spine, while he feels his arousal reignite. Resting his upper body on one of his personal pillows, taking the pressure off of his thoracic spine.

“You look so pretty spread out like this for me…so fucking pretty John.” Gale murmurs as he nips at his butt, before he’s sitting up on his knees between John’s legs. His eyes dragging over his back, following the lines of his surgical scars. Pressed into the trench of his spine, freckles, a few moles, and stretch marks covering his skin as well. The blond’s nimble fingers dragging up his sides, squeezing softly when he meets the bottom of his ribcage.

“Fuck baby…feels good.” John sighs as he shifts into the touch, eyes closed as he relaxes even more. Becoming a puddle on the bed, feeling his cock give a little twitch, he liked when Gale gave him massages. The blond always knew where to touch, how hard to push down, he seemed to know John’s body better than he knew it himself. His eyes open when he feels Gale’s lips moving down his spine again, his hands sliding down to grip John’s butt cheeks. Squeezing gently and rubbing his thumbs in, spreading him softly as the blond keeps moving down.

“Jesus Christ.” John whispers as he feels Gale lick across his hole, the muscle fluttering slightly. Turning his head a bit to look at Gale’s body as much as he can in this position. Before he’s turning his head the other way, watching the mirror. Eyes trained on the curve of Gale’s body, his hands keeping John’s cheeks separated. Large hands wrapped around his skin, before Gale is lifting his head up. Humming softly against John’s cheek, nipping at it and turning his head.

He watches as Gale looks up his back before he flattens his tongue, swiping it across his hole again. Before the blond is pressing closer to push his tongue inside of John, the little gasp coming from the older making him smile. Humming against John again as he pushes his tongue in an even motion, letting some spit slip down. Dripping in an even line to Bucky’s balls, one of Gale’s thumbs coming to rub it in. Dragging the spit back up and sliding the pad of his thumb across the older’s entrance again, watching it clench.

“Talk to me?” Gale murmurs as he reaches for the lube, pulling the bottle down while he sits up on his knees. Looking at John again in the mirror, meeting his gaze and smiling a little bit. The older’s cheeks are a dark pink color, eyes wide with a mixture of arousal and shock. Jaw dropped open, with his plush bottom lip spit slick. He watches as John blinks slightly, focusing his eyes to meet Gale’s gaze, breathing deeply before letting loose a whimper.

“Didn’t think I’d like something like that…but fuck it felt good. You always say it does feel good, but I thought you were just bullshitting me, trying to make me feel good. Jesus Gale.” John breathes out the ending as he feels one of Gale’s nimble lube slick fingers circling his hole. Watching the motion in the mirror as much as he can, the blond smiling a bit. The younger leans down and presses a kiss to John’s freckled shoulders. Pressing his middle finger forward, both of them groaning as he sinks inside of the older boy. John’s half hard cock giving a twitch against the pillow, a lazy bead of precum oozing at the tip.

“You’re so tight sweetheart…gonna feel so good wrapped around me.” Gale states before he’s leaning up to kiss the other boy, sucking at his lower lip and moving his finger in an even motion. John’s walls squeezing and tensing every now and then, trying to get used to the sensation. He wasn’t sure what it was supposed to feel like, he didn’t have anything to compare it to from before the accident. A gasp getting lodged in his throat when the tip of Gale’s finger drags across a sensitive bulge on the inside.

“Found it.” The blond murmurs from where he’s been pressing kisses into John’s shoulders, his cock rubbing against the other’s butt cheek in even little pulses. Precum smearing across John’s pale skin, leaving sticky streaks in its wake. John moans again when he feels the touch to his prostate, a protesting sound coming out of his mouth when he feels Gale pull his finger free. Before there’s two pressing into him, the pressure from the stretch making his nose scrunch. A whining noise leaving him when Gale rubs over his sweet spot again, eyes squeezed shut at the sensation.

“Oh fuck Gale…fuck that feels so good. Don’t stop, please please for the love of Christ don’t stop.” John whimpers as the ball in his pelvis gets tighter, his fingers gripping the pillow under his upper body harder. Muscles bunching together slightly, moaning again as Gale drives his fingers in. The blond smiling softly as he keeps going, even as his cock leaks in steady drips. The sounds John is making has his head spinning, knowing he’s making his boy feel good. It’s a head rush that he wasn’t expecting, feeling the way John’s walls are squeezing tighter.

“I’m, Gale, I’m gonna…oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” John squeaks out suddenly, Gale sitting up slightly to watch. The older’s hole clamping down around his fingers, his cock giving a twitch before he’s dribbling cum down the pillow. A sobbing sound coming from John’s throat, tears welling in his eyes as he lays there. Gale’s fingers stilling inside of him, pulsing gently against his prostate. Dragging out the older’s orgasm for him, before he’s easing off and slipping his fingers out.

“Fuck John…that was, holy fuck.” Gale groans as he wraps a hand around himself, squeezing at the base tightly. Looking up to meet John’s half lidded gaze, a few tears having tracked down his cheeks. John was a crier when he orgasmed, Gale had figured that out quickly, the pleasure was so intense for him that he cried. And as much as Gale wanted to hate it, it definitely made something in his blood sing. John reaches back with a lead heavy arm, trying to grab onto Gale’s hand.

“C’mon…want you inside of me. Please, can see you’re hurting.” Gale leans up slightly to look down at him better, letting out a grunt when John gets his hand wrapped around his cock. Hips jerking forward on instinct with the pleasure, eyes squeezing shut to collect his bearings.

“I don’t want it to be too much for you, you just came. I can use my hand or.”

“Gale Winston…get your cock inside of me. I want you to use that wand thing, I want it all.” John interrupts as he tries to look back at the younger boy, finally getting Gale’s cock slotted between his cheeks. The blond’s hips moving just a little, holding himself up with a hand digging into the pillow John’s upper body is laying on. His knees tucked close to the wedge pillow as he moans lowly, his other hand going down to grab at John’s hip.

“Yea…yea honey, I’ll give you anything you want.” Gale mutters out nodding quickly, having to shift and pull away from him. Cock aching between his legs, dribbling another string of precum. Connecting the tip of his cock to John’s ass for a minute before it breaks. Reaching for the lube again and the vibrating wand, the cock sleeve attached to it already. Squeezing just a bit on his fingers he wraps his hand around John’s soft cock, listening to him hiss softly. Flicking his eyes up to look at him, he sees that John is looking back at the mirror.

“Wish I could see it better…but this is still good. I get to see you.” John murmurs, eyes trained on the way Gale’s body is moving. Pupils tracing over the lines and curves, drawn in on Gale’s butt and thighs. Before he’s moaning at the feeling of the sleeve sliding into place, the blond making sure it’s sitting properly. He meets John’s eyes in the mirror, flicking the little dial on the toy and listening to the moan he lets out. Gale tucks the wand’s handle under John’s thigh, making sure it won’t move at all. While John’s fingers are gripping the pillow tighter under his head as he feels the vibrations into his balls, eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you want me to use a condom? I brought some, just in case.” Gale offers as he sits up on his knees more, squeezing around himself again and moaning lowly. Watching the way John’s eyes flutter open to stare at Gale through the mirror. Shaking his head a bit at the question, swallowing thickly while he lays there. Moaning lowly at the sensation curling up his stomach from the vibrator.

“No, I want to feel you…if you’re alright with that.” Gale leans up to plant a kiss to his cheek, reaching for the lube to coat himself with it. Before he’s shifting his hips enough to lodge his tip against John’s hole, both of them holding their breaths. Gale’s hips push forward slowly, sinking into John in a paced glide. His jaw dropping open at the tight, hot squeeze, while John watches his expression. The pressure making his heart stutter, but Gale’s facial expressions causing pleasure to zing down his pelvis.

“Oh fuck John, you’re so tight.” Gale whimpers out once he’s halfway, worried momentarily that he’s going to blow. Letting out a little wounded sound as John clenches on him involuntarily, his hand going to grip the older’s hip. Balancing himself to look down and watch, thumbing around where John is spread around him. The black haired boy moaning quietly as he watches the muscles flex in the side view of Gale’s body. His glutes shifting, thigh muscle bunching, bicep bulging out a little.

“You look so good Gale…Jesus Christ.” John murmurs, watching the way Gale’s head tips back once he’s bottomed out. One hand desperately grasping at John’s ass cheek, the other gripping the edge of the wedge pillow. His eyes following the movement as Gale moves inside of him, feeling the drag. The vibrations around his cock causing pleasure to roll over his system, a slow rise. Before his upper body is almost shooting off the bed when Gale nails his prostate head on.

“Oh fucking Christ Gale! Jesus fuck!” John sobs out at the intense pleasure zinging through him, Gale huffing a soft breathless laugh. Angling his hips properly now to slam into it, holding on by a thread. Blunt nails digging into John’s waist, groaning long in his throat at the tight heat. Turning his head to meet John’s gaze in the mirror, watching as his eyes flutter for a minute. His jaw dropped down, little puddle of drool slipping from his mouth onto the pillow under his head. White knuckling the fabric as he lets out consistent grunts with each press to his sweet spot.

“I’m gonna cum sweetheart…oh fuck, it feels so good. Are you gonna cum with me?” Gale pants out as he snaps his hips quicker, chasing the pleasure coiling around his groin. The sound of his pelvic bone smacking into John’s ass loud between them both. The wet squelch of the lube making them both whine, one of Gale’s hands coming up to grab at John’s bicep. Finger tips digging in tightly, before he’s slamming home again and reaching his orgasm. A high pitched whine leaving his throat, body shuddering through his high.

“Oh fuck…fuck Gale, it’s oh fuck.” John wheezes as the blond’s blunt tip snugs up against his prostate. The twitches from Gale’s cock pulsing against his insides, making him bury his face in the pillow. The pleasure red hot, almost too much before he’s cumming again. Dribbling down the pillow case under him, sobbing openly into the fabric under his face.

Tears rolling down his cheeks as he spasms under Gale’s body weight. The blond presses shaky kisses to John’s damp with sweat shoulders, both of them panting softly. Gale carefully pulls his hips back, reaching down to turn the wand off. Before he’s collapsing next to John, the boy turning his face to look at Gale again.

“Holy fucking shit Gale.” The younger laughs softly and looks at his boyfriend, admiring the pink flush to his cheeks. Making his freckles more prominent as he lays there, curls floppy on his forehead. Blinking his eyes few times, contacts that he was still getting used to having gone a little dry. Gale shifts his body over to press his mouth against Bucky’s, nuzzling close for a second. Before he’s dropping back onto the bed, needing just a minute before he cleans them both up.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Gale…you and your magic dick.” The blond snorts quietly, shaking his head while he lays there. The little post orgasmic quivers settling in his limp limbs. Breathing coming back down to a controlled level, his eyes watching John now. His chest rising and falling evenly, the little shakes that were racking his system slowing down. A dopey little smile forming on his plush lips, cracking his eyes open to look at Gale again. Their hands intertwining as they lay there, enjoying their little blissful moment together.

————————

“Pizza is here!” Curt calls as he and Ken come into the apartment, smiling when he hears John and Gale talking in the kitchen. They were all having a movie night together, the newest action movie having dropped. John had been begging to see it, but the thought of going to the theater was too much. So a pizza, movie, and soda night was to be had, in the safety of their own home.

“We’ve got the sodas!” John yells back, wheeling into the living room with two two-liters in his lap. Gale walking behind him with plates and cups, both of them dressed down. Curt eyeing them up, a smirk forming on his lips when he sees the hickey peeking out of Gale’s shirt collar. Their hair is mussed, and John’s cheeks are still tinted a light shade of pink.

“Ya fuckin dirty birds, did ya at least both cum?” Curt taunts making Gale squawk, Ken squeaking a bit at his boyfriend’s nonchalance. He never understood how easily Curt could just talk about sex, it was never taboo for him. John chokes on his spit, laughing softly and shaking his head. Pushing his glasses up his nose before he’s glaring playfully at his best friend.

“We did, on your bed, it was super comfortable.” Curt makes a loud sound before he’s going to pull John under his arm, rubbing his knuckles into the taller boy’s hair. Messing up his hair even more while John tries to push him away. Gale trying to remind them to not pull John from his chair while Ken just tries to stay out of the way. The curly headed blond boy turning his head at the knock to the apartment door.

“I’ll get it…ya goddamn hooligans.” He teases while smiling at the pair, stepping around the couch. Heading for the door, undoing the deadbolt, and turning the knob to pull it open. The smile slipping from his face when he sees an unknown man standing on the other side. Two large Manila envelopes in his hands, one labeled ‘Curtis Johnathan Biddick’ and the other ‘John Clarance Egan’.

“Are Curtis Biddick and John Egan here?” The man asks, getting said boy’s to turn their heads, smiles falling from their faces. Curt heading for the door to his boyfriend, while John watches them both. Gale stepping closer to rest his hand between John’s heaving shoulders. Curling his fingers into the older’s shirt, a knot forming in his lower stomach.

“Yea…that’s us. Who are you?”

“You’ve been served, thank you.” The man states handing over the envelopes, turning on his heel to head down the steps leading up to their apartment. Curt watching him go before he’s shutting the door and turning to face the others. All of them silent as they stare wide eyed at the envelopes in Curt’s hands.

#softmamawrites #john bucky egan #gale buck cleven #buck x bucky #clegan #brenny #clegan smut #john egan x gale cleven #benny demarco x john brady #benny demarco #john brady #Curt Biddick #ken lemmons #Marge Spencer #curt x ken #love within these halls #rehab au

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