#john being gay asf

[mclennonsviagra]

I feel like as I’m learning new Mclennon info that one day I’m just going to end up reading:

“Paul McCartney just stated that he used to get ass fucked by John like mad and then he died!”

someone: are you okay

me: so in 1964 john lennon wrote one of his only love ballads, "if I fell" and called it auto biographical even though it doesn't match w any of his public relationships. the lyrics can easily be flipped to be about him pining for someone already in a relationship with a woman which would most likely be a man (as seen in "across the universe" where they did the song from a woman's pov to a man without changing the lyrics and it still worked). he wrote the full lyrics for the first time on the inside of a valentines day card and in the corner you can see his handwriting that says "to: paul with love" with an arrow pointing inside and some doodled hearts. it was auctioned off in the 2000s, but the description only says it was written on a plane on a card "given to paul" as a spare paper, not acknowledging the little dedication with the hearts. years later he referred to it as a "silly love song," referring back to paul's song that was in turn referring to his mocking comments. and that's why he's a fa-

[jane-john-doe-tournament]

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone) Propaganda:

Great singing, also she’s literally wearing a doll‘s head bc she lost hers

do they have their soul or is it rotting somewhere with their head?

BALLAD OF JANE DOE IS SO SAD AND SHE IS GREAT AND I ONLY WATCH RTC ONCE BUT SHES NY FAVE OK

cool asf

She forgets her name after her death and has no story told in the production

She's so sweet and deserves the world. Her song (The Ballad of Jane Doe) is great.

the song goes so hard just listen to her song guys please

she literally died and her head was cut off so nobody could tell who she was PLEASE let her take one (1) W

BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING. First she already won the tournament in the musical to regain life, as she won them over with her sad wet cat energy because she did not have a head and feared that she lost her soul. Second, she died on a roller coaster and lost her head, but stole her doll's head and thats very gender. Third, throughout the musical she is used as a vessel for religious allegory, she is an angel, she is jesus, she is a demon, she is forsaken but she is purity itself. Fourthly, she is is given the identity of Savannah with the greenest eyes after the other characters who died with her hold her a birthday party, and I think thats sweet because its probably some kind of meaning I cant see but auughfhfhh shes so cool

i mean her name isn't TECHNICALLY jane doe but we refer to her as such. she's so silly!! autism powers! i don't have a lot of propaganda tbh. i would've just been surprised had she NOT been submitted

She lost her head literally when the rollercoaster derailed. She wasn't able to be identified apart from the school uniform she was wearing.

Her name is forgotten, and so is everything about her. So she’s called Jane Doe. She’s very sweet and very creepy, but she doesn’t mean it

and im asking WHYYYYY LORRRRRDDD

I LOVE HER! she died in a roller coaster accident and was decapitated, her body not being found. in the show, her head is actually just her doll’s head. the coroners couldn’t identify her, so she was dubbed a jane doe. in the game to be alive again, she ends up being voted, her name being revealed to be penny lamb. anyways she’s a little creepy and also quite silly and she does her funny little waddle like a porcelain doll (or corpse).

She deserves it! She lost her head she shouldn't lose this too.

Not convinced you didn’t start this tournament just for her tbh

They have a great song and a true air of mystery to them. They also have arguably the best song in the musical, The Ballad of Jane Doe! I would definitely recommend listening to it >:)

—She LOST her HEAD and had it replaced with a PORCELAIN DOLL —In all seriousness her story is really poignant. No one could identify her body so she arrives in the afterlife not knowing her identity and she spends the show vacillating between depressed and angry at her situation, leading to… —“The Ballad of Jane Doe”, specifically Emily Rohm’s version, might be the most haunting solo in musical theatre history.

John Doe (Malevolent) Propaganda:

Spooky gay eldritch disaster (am I doing this right?)

Could have chosen any name for himself and picked John because a kind person called him that :)

fractured piece of an eldritch god that shares a body with a private eye after being fractured. chooses the name John Doe after said private eye goes into a coma

Because he’s an eldritch god who wants to feel human and who overcame a lot of obstacles and dangers!!! He sincerely cares about the main character!!! And he chose a name himself! Isn’t he cute??? He lost his body, he almost lost his memory, he fought for his right to exist, he loves animals, he loves his friend Arthur and I love him!

Being an ass, friendship, spooky supernatural stuff, he’s got it all

My man heard the name John Doe, realized he didn’t actually have a name, and just. Took it for himself.

I LOVE HIM. MY SON. HE’S TRYING TO CHANGE AND BE BETTER AND :(((( He’s a fragment of the soul of the King in Yellow (god of trickery and suffering iirc??) that gets trapped in a book in our realm while the rest of the King stayed in his own separate realm. When a human named Arthur Lester opens the book they get linked and John gains control of Arthur’s eyes & kills his partner (oops!). They proceed to go on a quest to find a way of separating them because neither likes the situation, and at first John (or The Entity, which is what he’s called at first) just wants to trick and use Arthur, and control his entire body (through the first season he also gets a hand & a foot) even though he doesn’t remember being The King In Yellow at the time, but Arthur makes him change and become more human. His turning point is when Arthur is shot and falls into a coma for a month. They get treated at a hospital and while John waits for Arthur to wake up so they can carry on, the body itself still gets taken care of. The time John spends alone, contemplating on humanity & everything he’s seeing and learning from Arthur, as well as the way a certain nurse speaks to him every day (specifically, she greets him good morning and good night, despite the body being unresponsive, John still hears because he is an entity linked to the body) and calls him John (they didn’t have ID on when they were found so they were classified as John Doe), changes his outlook and plans for good, and he asks Arthur to call him John; from this point on he admits he cares for Arthur, looks for his wellbeing too, and in general attempts to be a better person and to live for himself. The rest of the podcast (ongoing!!) explores Arthur & John’s relationship, struggle to survive, adventures in the eldritch… All while tackling each of their issues with themselves and each other and watching them both grow. John in specific learns to be the person he wants to be, how sometimes you’ll take a step forward and two backwards; he can be cruel and manipulative sometimes but he still tries. Personally I love his journey, it’s very realistic and you can see he is trying his best, and how he wants to be better than he was as the King In Yellow, and how much Arthur has changed him and how much he cares about him because of that; and how he’s slowly growing into being his own person :) if it ends badly ill cry so hard but!!! he’s John Doe because that’s the name he was being addressed as, and he’s made it his, and being John means he’s no longer the King and that he wants to be different, and John can fail or make mistakes but it’s part of who he is now, and that’s what matters. I am So Normal About Him

JOHN DOE (Malevolent) SWEEP

OH MY GOD JOHN DOE MY BELOVED 💛💛 (watch me just not clarify that would be so funny ahah) John doe (Malevolent) 💛💛💛 my silly He's so funny he makes Arthur bump his head into a dock because he didn't say duck in time and then laughs at him 💛💛

[nthspecialll]

my evil headcanon is John being a little queer. No reason other than to just piss people off that their strong wolf scar man is a little gay ❤️ and I mean he walks around with like half his shirt unbuttoned in rdr2?? He’s got his hand on his hip 80% of the time?? Cunty Cowboy right there

Oh yeah me too, but don't you forget his snatched wasit.

I love making this little dude gay and pissing folk off by saying yeah he married and loved Abigail, but you can't tell me he didn't invite Javier into his tent one night when they were both drunk asf. In my head they are the origin of "cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other."

[chapmanzz]

Request for a HFC video compilation of Darren Boyd/John and Charles Edwards/Michael being an absolutely gay asf couple together please?

HERE U GOOO

[mclennonsviagra]

John was caught slacking ong

John wrote a short story where he has sex with a 'woman' in paris. Except the woman is called Amie L'Nitrate and Amyl Nitrate is a reference to poppers. He talks about grabbing her 'pomme de frites.' Her potatoes? He uses the term 'tread lightly on some loafers' which is an old euphenism for being gay. Amie says they should have sex to God Only Knows. Then John says their relationship ended in a seething rage but he still thinks of 'her.' Yeah. Most solid mclennon evidence in my eyes.

[romsabombs]

it's that time of the month again guys!

Malevolent part 47 The Hand live notes!!!

AMAZON AD👹 ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD CAN WE JUST START THE EPISODE

FINALLY!!! um whats happening

are their asses still wandering aimlessly

six hours bruh 💀

a cage :/???

a what

a crime! no doubt!🤓

HAHA HE HAS THE PLAGUE i said yesterday That man probably has every disease by now

hes gonna die so bad guys hes a sick victorian child

ohhh john please carry me to the garden so i may see- um Hear the flowers one last time🤒

his sickness😟 i cant believe our actions have consequences

theyre ganging up on yorick😭

HAHA hes fine Physically me asf

"indescribable horrors" that doesnt stop john from describing every horror in immense detail

"we both have" im sorry john did you get stabbed like eight times🙄 this aint about you

💀he folded💀

HAHA so he wasnt lying damn😭 I KNEW IT blud was so ready to kill more children

john defending his comfort character

😟Sold Your Soul😟

"i offered myself to it" gayass

this speech goes so hard actually

NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

omg it sounds more hopeful now :((

aw he thanked arthur :)

god damn it yorick🙄

WHAT does the corpse have the hand

i mean they did pinky promise

HIS EYE 😦😦

loose enough to pry with ur fingers😨

yorick is building frankensteins monster i fear

MALEVOLENCE MENTIONED NO WAY NO WAYYYYYY NORWAY IS THIS WHY THE SHOW IS NAMED THIS

can yorick lie is that a thing😟😟😟

come on arthur you were a boyscout u can climb this easily

"the pole is wood" just like mine haha🙏🙏🙏🙏

theyre gonna start a forest fire😶

just throw something at it guys idk

omg a pin‼️ throw something at it!!

"excellent hypothesis my king🤓" "JOHN👹" "right!!🤓"

THEYRE GONNA THROW A ROCK YEAAAAA💥💥💥💥

hows he gonna throw when hes blind

why is he so good at throwing wtf

i guess we cant stay here throwing rocks for the entire episode

ALEXANDER :333

EUHGHH😟😟😟😟😟

DONT THROW ROCKS AT BIRDS THATS HOW THE HORRORS HAPPEN

maybe alexander isnt evil n hes just trying to protect us idk🤕

"i was never much for athletics" we can tell

theres gotta be a theme this season and its gotta be Children or Childhood or something

"if they could see me now" mmmm

WHAT IS THAAATT HUHHH

😨😨😨😨

WHAT IS THATTTTTTT WHAGAAT

maybe its just a freaky bird

hes so good at falling down holes

WHAT HAHA WE CANT RN😭😭

😦ERM? YORICK???????

KELLIN MENTIONED big day for gay people 🙏🙏

so was yorick always evil orrrr coz he said My King instead of john and yorick has called him john before

guys i think alexander might be the Not Evil one here

hand of malevolence would go so hard as like a window decoration

ur telling me john knew what a Hand of Malevolence was and didnt link it to the dark world

NOOO DUMBASS

ummm 😟 whats all this then

YORICK :3333 HIIII :3

what 😀

"john" :3

HAHA what is going on bruh

OMG WHAGT 😃😃😃 thats banger

"thank you i think"

:(( aw alexander IS evil :((((((

she? 🤕

OHHH IS IT LILITH IS IT LILITH PLS LILITH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

lilith and kayne are having a custody battle over them funny as hell

OHHH she was in the portal

TEEHEE WE'RE HER FAVORITE :33

dont confront her i feel

but theyre BOTH terrible at lying🤕

they're cooked i fear

hes DYING😟😟😟😟😟😟

An Owl Being Strange

flies are insects darling

they finally appreciate yorick :)

john we dont have time for this omg

HAHA silly asf

they have a safeword now

harlan's really making us work for it like im gonna forget this if they dont point it out

the candle has been running out for hours fr

nooo :( r we approaching the ending

how do we still have like 15 minutes left

HAHA this is so funny theyre roleplaying

theyre yes-and'ing like theatre kids

i mean i bet she noticed yall were gone for a solid 15 minutes

so is the king in yellow just not a threat anymore like did we defeat him i forgot

are we in an alternate universe then

i know far too much!🤓☝️

arthur caught the decima virus i fear

STOP COUGHING im so worried

arthur needs his vaccines fr

is he gonna faint

"and if i am sick-" "you are😐"

OH the ring

hes really gonna go over there and spread his plague around 🙄

i feel like arthur wont even make it to the castle🤒

he coughs like a dad

"lean on me" maybe if you had a physical form😐

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

we just have to wing it i guess

its WHAT😨

what is going on man 😟

UM😦🤕

WHAAT THATS IT? wtf

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas

Chapter 6

[masterlist]

It’s the next day and Dave hadn’t texted me since yesterday. Part of me wanted to ask if I made him uncomfortable with insinuating he was gay (he totally is) but at the same time I didn’t wanna bother him. Or cause another insecure freak out.

Still, I was worried. After all, this is the guy I’m trying to woo and romance, it’d suck if I scared him off already.

I sigh dramatically for the upteenthed time and lean my head on Gamzee’s shoulder.

“Okay! We get it, you’re miserable! We heard you the first sigh.” Terezi complained from her seat across from me at the table we sat.

“And you have yet to ask me what’s wrong! Some friends you are.” I huffed.

“Okay what’s the motherfuckin’ issue?” Gamzee asked not looking up from his phone. I sigh dramatically once again, “ I don’t wanna talk about it.. ” I mutter in faux mysteriousness that they both seem to not care for.

..

…

….

…..

“Okay I’ll tell you! So I know it’s only been one day but I can’t help but feel I bombed that first convo with Dave..” I explain, finally sitting up straight in my seat.

Terezi sighed and rested her head into the palm of her hand. “Hmm.. I can’t help but think you’re being a little…. dramatic ?” She said with a skeptical raised brow.

I gasp, “ Dramatic!? Me ? I would never .” I joke.

“Well, if we bein’ real then yeah. I mean it was just the first motherfuckin’ convo.” Gamzee spoke half paying attention.

“I guess.. But like, I feel like I was being a little dry. I mean Dave’s such a cool guy he’s probably got way cooler people to talk to and I spent a vital first impression on not showing him how cool I am- because I’m totally cool right!? Like way cooler than at first glance right!?” I frantically look between the both of them for validation but receive nothing but judging side eyes.

“You guys can at least feed into my delusions y’know…” I slump into my seat with a pout.

“Well unfortunately for you, I am immensely tired from devious 3 AM activities that I will not name so I have neither the time nor the energy to feed your gluttonous delusions. We have a substitute teacher this period so I am going to take a nap, thank you.” Is all Terezi says before she slips to the floor and lays down, head resting on a bundled up sweater.

I look to Gamzee, he looks to me. We look at each other. As I begin to open my mouth he shakes his head solemnly, no … and slowly goes back to texting who I assume is Tavros.

I sit, dejected and abandoned by these supposed “for lifers.”

I twiddle my thumbs for a bit then drum my fingers on the desk.

Wow, I feel like a loser.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, It’s a text from Dave.

A TEXT FROM DAVE?

I look around expecting some sort of reaction as if either of them are able to see my phone.

I open his message- after waiting a few seconds, to not seem desperate obviously.

Pizza Dave

-sup

-wyd

Me

-Oh nothing just sitting in this chemistry class abandoned by my friends who would rather sleep and text their boyfriend

Pizza Dave

-damn sucks lol

-now ya know how I felt

Me

-Idk bout that chief

-Wouldn’t really call this feeling jealousy ha

-but wyd?

Pizza Dave

-I already said I wasn’t jealous that would be weird

-but I’m in math bored asf

-I know like no one in this class and ain’t really up for making friends with em

-don’t think we’d be able to vibe

-or that they’re open for vibing in the first place

Me

-Oh you don’t have John or Karkat in that class?

-They’re like the only friends of yours that I know tbh

Pizza Dave

-nopee

-I’m in honors math

-cuz I’m soooo smart

-they got regulars math so I’m all alone

-I finished my work already so m just sittin here

-lonely n bored

-n hungry

-got lunch next period

Me

-Oh me too

-School lunches aren’t that good tho

-U be eating that shit bro? 😭

Pizza Dave

-nahh

-ur right

-foods ass

Me

-nah dude don’t lie u be straight gobbling that shit huh

-licking the plate and everything

-own up to it

Pizza Dave

-no seriously 💀

-usually I bring a snack or something to hold me through the school day

-but me and kat r gonna go out to eat lunch

Me

-Whatttt

-Your school lets y’all get lunch from outside?

Pizza Dave

-nah we just sneak out lol

Me

-Damn maybe I should do that

-The lunches here aren’t good either I usually just eat whatever fruit they got

Pizza Dave

-u wanna come?

-we going panda express

-think it’s pretty close to ur school

Me

-Uhhhhhh

I want to go. I want to hang out with him! And Karkat, can’t forget he’s gonna be there too. So it’s not like I can have one on one time with him but maybe it would be better that way? The less awkwardness between us the better.

Pizza Dave

-u scared of getting caught?

Me

-No

I am. A bit.

I mean I’ve only snuck out once with Roxy but we just went to a corner store down the street and back. I guess I can just ask Nepeta to open the door for me at one of the back entrances like last time since she has class on the first floor after lunch again.

Me

-Okay I’ll go

Pizza Dave

-bet

-I’ll let kat know

-he gets fussy with sudden plan changes lol

Me

-Hehe fussy is a cute word

Pizza Dave

-ikr

-bros an absolute cutie patootie

-but yappy

-like a chuhuawa

-chihiuaua

-however tf u spell chiwawa

Me

-Chihuahua

Pizza Dave

-okay big guy so you know words n shit

-I’m in honors math not english for a reason

Me

-Whatevaaaaa

-Byee I’ll see y’all then :p class about to end

Pizza Dave

-bet

I’m so excited I know I’m smiling hard like an idiot but I couldn’t care less. I check my backpack and luckily I have enough money with me to buy my lunch. As I turn my head I notice Gamzee’s been staring at me for some while now.

“Uh..?” “So I’m guessin’ you got some good news lil’ mama?” Gamzee asks, picking up my phone and putting in the password he already knew to snoop through the messages.

“Oh now you care?” I cross my arms and he doesn't respond as he reads the texts.

“I’d say good luck on your date but it looks like you got a third wheel- or maybe you’re the motherfuckin’ third wheel?” He teased and tossed my phone back to me.

“Yeah but I mean Karkat’s cool- Kat is Karkat by the way.” I say and start packing up to go.

“Oh really? Tell the guy I said hi.” Gamzee chuckled as he went over to Terezi, lightly kicking her awake. She shot up and banged her head on the table, grumbling as she stood up and stretched.

“Kay but could you do me a favor and tell everyone else at lunch? I don’t feel like getting a barrage of questions asking where I am.” I laughed as the bell rang and we started to walk out the door.

“hUh..?” Terezi asked, still confused from her brief but deep nap.

“Aight I will- tell ya in a bit.” He told Terezi as he dragged her stumbling body off to the lunchroom.

I quickly ran down the stairs and headed to one of the back entrances of the school that no one really went by.

I did a quick look around to make sure the coast was clear before opening the door as silently as I could and dashing out the door. I ran down the block before stopping, I don’t think the security guards would give chase but if they did, the walk of shame back to school would’ve been so embarrassing I’d just drop dead instead.

I hadn’t been to the Panda Express Dave was talking about so I put in the location in maps to get the directions before heading over and Dave was right, it was pretty close.

I pushed the door open and looked around but they weren’t here yet. I mean, since their school is a little farther from here it’d probably take them a bit longer so I just ordered and waited.

Not long after sitting down I could see them crossing the street, the light about to change and Karkat aggressively shoving an incredibly unconcerned Dave forward so they could hurry and get to the other side. I chuckle to myself as they come in, Karkat complaining.

“Jeez, do you think we have all the time in the world!? Or do you just not care if you become roadkill!?” He yelled.

“A car would never run me over. I’d just stop it with my bare hands like a man.” Dave said as they walked over to where I sat.

“Sup.” He nodded to me coolly

I let out a strangled hi, embarrassing , and Karkat just grumbled a hey to acknowledge my existence before sitting down.

Yeesh, guess he’s still on edge.

But I’ll make sure he warms up to me too!

----------------

remember when I warned about background ships? gamz x tavros is one of em !!! This chapter still isn't that interesting or long but :p

[nicktheman1032]

HELLOOOO! This is Lampkeeper! And welcome to my corner of the universe~!

Lil bio:

Name: Atticus / Lee

Gender: three feral rats with rabies in a trenchcoat

Pronouns: any!! I don't care!!

Lamps: 100000003067 lamps

Sexual orientation: asexual

Romantic orientation: aromantic + homoro-oriented (gay asf)

Likes: Fandoms (preferably small fandoms), food (specifically chicken nuggets), sleeping, lamps, goobers, cats, salmon, winter, dragons (will ramble for hours), b r e a d, sweaters!!!

Dislikes: Loud noises, excited dogs, pollen (is allergic), mosquitos (VERY allergic), strong spices, lots of clothes, summer.

Special interests: Dragons, cats, I Expect You To Die, Portal, The Stanley Parable, Rise of the TMNT, Megamind (somehow), science in general.

Kinned characters: Donnie (ROTTMNT), The Narrator (TSP), Wheatley (Portal 2), Pheonix (IEYTD), Megamind (c'mon, you know this one), William Afton (FNAF- don't ask.), The Spot (Spider-man ATSV)

Physical features: Long-ish dark brown hair, tanish skin despite rarely going outside, brown eyes, 5 feet 6 inches tall, often wears casual clothing but wears a skirt on Sunday, depending on who he's with, he almost never smiles.

Notes: Was never tested for autism or ADHD, but has a strong belief he has both (with research to back him up). Staying with the label neurotypical until the belief is strong enough to self-diagnose. DEFINITELY has anxiety. Might also be dyslexic- constantly misreads words. Is also a therian + otherkin; cat therian + duck therian (WILL meow and WILL purr, don't blame him) + dragon otherkin (WILL roar and WILL hiss). Has an odd belief he's not human.

!! THIS USER IS A SYSTEM !!

Will there be a "meet the artist" drawing soon? Yes, yes there will be. Will I draw myself accurate to my IRL self? Yes. Yes I will. Will I also draw my little alien persona? Yes. In several ways. Will I draw my fursona and his two halves? Absolutely.

For Roleplay under the cut!! vvvv

Blue text is for when Agent Felix talks

Purple text is for when Lampkeeper talks

Classic text is when I/The Narrator am speaking

Red text for Dr. Zor, Orange text for Hivemind, Yellow text for Charlie Caliente, Green text for John Juniper.

These all take place in the IEYTD universe.

Felix lore:

Agent Felix joined Zoraxis's team when he was just a little kid, probably about third grade. If he went to school, lol, which he didn't.

He just wandered around a town all day, doing whatever he could to learn. Zor found him- Zor was about mid-thirties at the time- and just straight up adopted Felix. Zor gave Felix lessons on basic stuff like reading, math, etc., basically just all the elementary school stuff- except it only took 2 years. Zor, obviously, was surprised so he gave Felix some options and Felix chose technology.

Zor gave him everything he could to Felix on the subject, and by age 12, Felix had the technology expertise as a mad scientist. Felix started doodling after Zor adopted him, the doodles being very happy in general. Over time, they got.. concerning.. and Zor didn't know what to do about that.

Eventually, as more people joined Zoraxis, the more Felix was left alone with his little inventions. Occasionally, Zor, Hivemind and Charlie visited him (and were the only ones that celebrated his birthday), rarely Solaris for business. Felix loved Hivemind and Charlie like family.

The death engine was built when Felix was thirteen years old, him being oblivious to what he and Solaris were building. Agent Pheonix had seen him during Operation: Seat of Power, and recognized him as a kid.

When the death engine fired for the first time, Felix was devastated. Maybe a bit traumatized. He hated himself for being so oblivious to what he built. He didn't talk, eat or anything for days, even after he heard that Agent Pheonix had stopped the Death Engine. In fact, Felix felt worse becuase people had died.

Pheonix came back after a day or two of recovery and brought Felix to the agency. The agency convinced Felix to join (hesitantly) and almost gave up after ten minutes until Felix finally said one word: "okay". His mental recovery lasted 2 weeks, his fourteenth birthday two days after. His drawings started returning to a happier-looking state during the time. Felix waited a month and a half for agent training to begin, and when it did, it was too slow to match his learning pace. Regardless, he did what he was told without complaint. ...until they gave him a bomb to diffuse.

They knew perfectly well he couldn't diffuse bombs. They gave him one anyways. He had to run to other agents to find someone who could diffuse bombs. Felix was trying to figure out for days why they gave him a bomb. No clear answer was found.

Felix often has regrets leaving Zoraxis, since he misses everyone and he misses being useful. Usually he just looks at his shirt and he no longer has regrets, but recently it hasn't been working. He has a lot of conflicting emotions. He tries to stop the regrets by telling him stuff like "it feels great to be good" (as you know) and stuff like that. They've been working, but not much. The agency is constantly worried he'll switch sides again, but they don't know what to do about it since they don't want to get near him.

Felix doesn't know it, but Zor, Hivemind and Charlie miss him. Zor has had his eyes on Felix since he left and has been hoping he'd come back. The whole John Juniper thing was half-planned in hopes Felix would be sent on a mission. (I'm listening to This Is What Autumn Feels Like right now and it's throwing ideas like this at me ashgdhwhdhend)

Then Felix gets kidnapped, he runs away, you know the drill if you were reading/involved in it. He came back worse than before, almost back to his old state after the death engine. His memory was a little more messed up and he has major trust issues.

The end :]

[jessaerys]

What are your lgbtq headcanons for nello and for near? To you what do they identify as?

unless the characters themselves are preoccupied with identity politics i usually don’t find it interesting to assign them labels – HOWYEVER, (borrowing from resident mello expert @firebuggg PhD, some excerpts of her lovely writing below) i love the idea that while mello was out in the world making a name for himself he was taken in and taken care of by all kinds of communities on the outskirts; sex workers, drag queens, queer bars, leather daddies, kink groups, etc. etc. all of which influenced his own self identification and gave him a strong sense of belonging in queer spaces :’) 

Clubs and hostels and drag shows and winking red lights: Mello had been quick to discover that he was likely to find friends, shelter, a temporary landing place among them with few questions asked. (...) There were always people who were welcoming, especially the people already on the outskirts: Mello has slept backstage at drag shows and comedy clubs, has found shelter and companionship in dark alleys and clubs and amidst leather and small kitchens and hot, crowded rooms.

but labels wise, classic ol’ salt-of-the-earth slutty bisexual – i believe this may be an unpopular opinion? we all know he's gay asf but i think he’d also be into assertive older women (see: halle, minora. *whip noise*) this bad boy can fit SOO many mommy issues in him (specially in @firebuggg's and i’s headcanons/writing where he spent the first five-ish years of his life with his mother during the 90s yugoslav wars, but that's a whole other topic.)(i also think he’d be into mean switch4switch girls his age that are basically himself but girl gender. for obvious reasons.) 

that said he'd drop the slut life in a heartbeat for near. like i can't explain this and i almost always write ships with semi-open relationships but. mello wants to be monogamous with the bug-eyed kid SOOO bad it makes him look STUPID

near likes. uuuuuuuuuh, mello. you can make any argument for any identity in a vacuum but in any universe where he grows up alongside mello his entire sexual awakening and formative puberty experiences are mortifyingly rewritten by years of getting bullied by what is essentially a mean but occasionally caring older brother figure. sorry. you fucked up a perfectly good teenage boy is what you did. look at him. he’s got a choking kink

i cannot imagine near caring for sexuality or gender labels (there's a whole other digression here about near's alienation from community/having no past/being racially ambiguous/john silver quote "i am no one. from nowhere. belonging to nothing." HURGH. but we don't have time to get into that)

BUT i do like to think that mello does his damnedest to take him out to gay bars in chelsea and the west village to experience ~the queer community~ but what actually happens is near starts philosophical discussions in a corner that keep going long after he slips out and often end in insane bar fights. (he also gets progressively freakier as he gets older) (long haired near is a public indecency arrest waiting to happen)(possibly the one to suggest experimenting with other people, together)(mello does not take this well)  

adasdjasdjkasjksajkfdsjkfjksd this got long for someone who started with i don’t care about identity politics. and i don’t

[stitchkiss]

hot take: obx s2 topper thornton redemption arc

[stansamwilson]

My dumb bitch thoughts on tfatws episode 5

The way that walker was ready to kill Sam with the shield was crazy ASF

Uh uh Bucky don’t you fucking dare drop that shield next to Sam’s head you disrespectful piece of shit

AND you didn’t help my baby up. GO FUCK YOURSELF

It was too early to see a white man have a mental breakdown in some sort of beat up warehouse... again

TORRES I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Also Sam left his wings with Joaquin. DOES THIS MEAN WE GET TO SEE HIM WITH THE WINGS?!?

The first thing I thought during that scene with John walker and that lady was COUNT CONTESSA?!?

Also i did skip over the whole John Wanker screaming at the council part bc I did not want to see that man screaming at 3am

Ok when Karli picked up that stuffed animal it kinda kicked me in the feels. The kid who played with it is probably dead rn.

So Zemos crazy ass is in prison again thanks to the Dora Milaje (fucking finally)

The whole scene with Isaiah telling Sam everything made me tear up. AND HE NEVER GOT SEE HIS LOVER AGAIN BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT TOLD HE HE WAS DEAD BUT HE WAS JUST IN JAIL THE WHOLE TIME. IT JUST INFURIATES ME. FUCK!

MY GOD! WHY WAS SAM SO GODDAMN OBLIVIOUS? HES 46 FOR FUCKS SAKE. MR. SPELLMAN I JUST WANT TO TALK 🔫😁

When the whole community came together and helped with the boat it was so damn heart warming and GAH, MY FEELINGSSS!

Ok first of all, Bucky was looking to bang Sam and/or Sarah. And secondly I wonder what’s in the box he gave Sam.

Wait could Bucky helping Sam fix the boat be like making amends with him or is it just my Sambucky shipping brain kicking in?

SAMS NEPHEWS❤️❤️❤️

Oh Sam and Bucky defo fucked or at least made out when they were fixing the boat in the morning that’s why they didn’t finish before Sarah woke up.

I mean Ik Bucky apologized but that was kinda half assed. And I know that marvel wouldn’t actually let us see a better one so they better have Bucky saving Sam from something or have him helping him out when he needs it instead of being a dick.

SO YOURE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT LAST LINE BUCKY SAID WHEN THEY CLASPED HANDS WASN’T ROMANTICALLY MOTIVATED? “call me when you have a lead and I’ll be there.”BITCH—

I like how it’s Sarah, someone he loves and trusts, that talks to Sam about taking the shield.

SAM WILSON TRAINING MONTAGE= SEXY

IF KARLI OR BATROC LAYS A FINGER ON SAM SHITS GONNA GET REAL

Ok Ms. bob the builder aka John wanker go off

Welp that’s all my gay brain can offer! Later suckas!

[sasha-lacrosse]

Class 1-A was just chatting and doing their thing when Aizawa walked in, looking even more dead inside than other days. He sighed and spoke “Okay class, listen up. Today, we managed to catch two members of the League of Villains. But Nedzu had an amazing idea” he said in his usual tired voice, with a hint of annoyance in his tone. “To not arrest them, but- t” “WHAT” A loud voice exclaimed “YOU ARE JUST GOUNG TO LET THOSE FREAKS FREE?!” Aizawa sighed “no. Nedzu had the amazing idea to put the villains in rehabilitation. Here at UA. The 2 of them will be attending classes and sleep in the dorms.” Aizawa didn’t get the change to explain further when Toga Himiko burst into the room in all her glory “hello new classmates!!! We are going to have so much fun! Can I stab you?” the entire class looked at her in shock. Sero spoke up next “I am afraid to know who is the other one” “It’s-“ Toga was interrupted by the door opening once again, revealing All Might and Endeavour holding a struggling young woman with black hair, wearing baggy clothing, a trench coat, handcuffs and a muzzle. Bakugou burst out laughing. The figure growled and looked up, suddenly completely stopped struggling and getting a calm expression on her face. “let go” Endeavour and All Might looked at each other, let go and left. Only then the class could see who it was. Dabi. She looked at Aizawa “I am an adult, I don’t belong here.” Aizawa smirked “oh are you? Well since you don’t tell us your name, you can’t prove that, so yes you belong here. Now introduce yourselves”

Dabi’s right eye twitched, while Toga smiled and half-screamed “Hey! Hello! My name is Toga Himiko!! I am sure we are going to be really good friends!!” Dabi sighed and gave a death glare at the class. Aizawa walked over to her and took of the muzzle and repeated “introduce yourself” “fuck you” Aizawa grabbed her by the back of her neck and growled “introductions are in order. N o w.” Dabi smirked “Hai my name is Jared, I’m 19 and I never knew how to fucking read” this earned a laugh from most of the students, and a smack the head from Aizawa ‘totally worth it’ she thought.

Dabi sighed when she sat down at the back of the class. Everyone stared at her, it made her really uncomfortable, especially seeing Shouto. She had thought to reveal who she was a lot in the past, but her plan always was to do it when she killed Endeavwhore, and then turn herself in to local authorities, and tell everything she knew about the league. But not only did she begin caring about the league, she also was taken the chance of killing Todoroki Enji. The worst part, she didn’t really hate UA that much. The thought of finally, for the first time in her life, spending time with others girls that aren’t crazy and blood obsessed is not that bad.

Also, finally being able to protect her little brother was also a plus.

When class was over, she and Toga were called by Eraserhead to follow him to the dorms, to give them a tour around them, assign their dorms, and give them time to decorate. After that they would go to Nedzu for the basic rules, and -surprisingly- to collect their new phones. The phones would be monitored by UA and most of the things Toga did on the phone would be seen by Nedzu, but Dabi’s phone was less secured because she was an Adult.

[Class 1-gAy]

Pika Pika Bitch: so… what are you guys’ opinion on the villains so far??

(g)rapist: Toga is really weird, but Dabi… is hot! I mean look at her?

Mom(o): Mineta. No.

(g)rapist: What?! Im just saying…

Have you seen her boobs?!

sAnIc: Mineta, please refrain from talking that way about other people! It is highly inappropriate!!

Pika Pika Bitch: M*neta?! Dude WTF?!

Mom(o): we should add them; seeing as they now belong to our class??

sAnIc: Wonderful idea Momo!

Mom(o) Added Dabi and Himiko Toga to the chat.

Himiko Toga: OwO What’s this??

Dabi: The Fuck?

sAnIc: Since you are now both part of 1-A, we decided we should add you to the group chat!

Himiko Toga: Really?! That’s so sweet.

Dabi: Yeah whatever.

Could all of you please state you name/pronouns/sexuality (if you are comfortable), because I might be a villain, but I don’t do misgendering.

I’ll Start: Hello my name is Dabi, I use She/ her pronouns and I am Aro-Ace

sAnIc: what a wonderful Idea!

Iida Tenya; He/Him; Bisexual

Mom(o): Yaoyorozu Momo; She/Her, Lesbian

*Sparkling Sparkly Bitch*: Aoyama Yuga, They/Them, Very much The GAY

Himiko toga: I am in love with that name!

AlienKween: Ashido Mina, She/Her, Bisexual

What can I say except KERO: Asui Tsuyu (Call me Tsu) She/Her, Everything except straight!

F*ck Isaac Newton: Uraraka Ochaco, She/her, lesbian

The Tails: Ojiro Mashirao, He/him, Straight Ally

JOHN CENA: Hagakure Tooru, She/her, Straight Ally

Rock Bottom: Kirishima Eijiro, He/him, Gay asf

My Chemical Crowmance: Tokoyami Fumikage, he/him, Pansexual

Dark Shadow; She/Her, Aroace

SugarCrash: Sato, He/him straight ally

TheArms: Shoji Mezou, He/They, Demisexual

PunkKween: Jirou Kyoka, She/they, Pan

FlexTape: Sero Hanta, They/them, Pan

sAnIc: I believe that was everyone that is online at the moment.

AlienKween Changed Toga Himiko’s name to Stabby McStabbypants

AlienKween Changed Dabi’s name to MysteryKween

MysteryKween: What- why-

AlienKween: Because we know nothing about you!

MysteryKween: Understandable have a nice day.

Pika Pika Bish: did u juts mem e?

MysteryKween: Yes?-

|BakuGAY squad|

Pikachu reject: Everyone that wants Dabi in the Bakusquad say ‘Aye’

PinkCheeks: Aye

ShittyHair: Aye

AuxCord: Kinda

Aye

Pikachu reject: @Bakuhoe please?????????????????????????,,

Bakuhoe: …

Fine.

Pikachu reject added Dabi

Pikachu reject changed Dabi’s name to BurntUpCig

[nthspecialll]

alex im about to post this as a headcanon vid on tiktok but i also wanna know ur headcanons so heres my question:

its almost midnight, its modern au rdr2, what are some of the van der linde gang members doing?? are they sleeping peacefully, or are they out clubbing, or maybe working, or maybe robbing someone? i crave your thoughts :)

I saw the first two sides of that post and then I was like... maybe I shouldn't read this since Chloe asked me.

Javier: Yes, he is out, I think he is out at some very niche bar that plays a bunch of underground music, no one has ever heard of the people who plays and they never will again.

Charles: Either asleep or sitting with Arthur and drinking a beer, just chatting.

Arthur: Likely he is catching up on some chores, or sitting together with one or two people having a beer.

John: He wants to go out but he promised Abigail to cut down on the drinks so instead he is sitting in his man cave, compaining to someone on call while playing video games.

Abigail: She is likely asleep, tired asf from taking care of the child.

Dutch Van Der Linde: His computer is being annoying and shut down while he was trying to make his next concept of a plan, so he is yelling very loudly at it.

Hosea: Trying to call Lenny to come fix Dutch's computer because he can't fix it either.

Lenny: Told himself 'one last chapter' fifteen chapters ago, is very very deep into his book and not at all hearing his phone.

Sean: The person John is yelling to over call. They aren't even on the same game, John is playing some kind of pvp and Sean is bullying kids on Roblox.

Mary-beth: Staring at the open word document, procrasinating writing the next chapter of her fanfiction because everyone in her comments are going "omg I can't imagine what happens next" and she can't either.

Karen: She is a regular at the local gay bars and is currently eyeing an ex across the room, trying to find out of it is a 'hate sex' day.

Tilly: Blowing Mary-Beth's notifications up because she finally caught up on the forementioned fanfiction and now she is obsessed.

Bill: Drinking likely, but not at a bar, just at home in front of the TV with a six pack.

Molly: On a reddit forum asking what to do about Dutch.

Uncle: At the bar, telling everyone willing to listen some lie or another. The staff are so close to throwing him out.

Josiah: Running a pyramid scam.

Pearson: Looking at cooking vids on youtube.

Grimshaw: Asleep.

Sadie: Planning her revenge while watching true crime.

Micah: He is sitting with Joe and Cleet, planning the next bank robbery.

Reverend: 1-4, drinking and sobbing outside of a church, 5-ep, asleep.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

Idk but you are becoming my favorite beatles blog here in tumblr, and you kinda wanna make me stay because i was thinking about leaving the fandom (bcuz y'all toxic asf, everytime i open tumblr y'all be roasting each mf beatle, like, they half dead chill lmaoo 🤪). But i like the way you try seeing all from each one perspective and in a more mature and empathic way than others. So, yeah i love your takes.

THANK YOU!! I really really appreciate this - and you’ve made my day, so cheers!

Also, I get what you mean about a lot of people spreading not-good-vibes. I don’t mind people criticising The Beatles (or anyone Beatle rated) if its done with a degree of empathy or understanding - but I cant stand seeing people think in just purely black or white terms. Not to say that ive never made a bitchy or uninformed comment about anyone (because im sure I have) but I just try to see things with as much nuance and empathy as possible.

To be honest, I think the reason I make an effort to see everybody from a nuanced perspective, is, at its core, because I see a lot of myself in John - and that isn’t really a good thing. But its the truth! And so I guess that thats why I don’t tend to judge him too much; im critical, but I try to refrain from judgement. And I guess that if I can attain a nuanced and empathetic understanding of John, then I can at least give the others the decency of giving them a similar understanding. And also because trying to understand human behaviours and relationships in black and white terms is boring, for me at least. Humans are complicated, but these complexities are at least fascinating.

But yeah - I try not to engage in beef with anyone, because, like, we spend our days discussing if two 80 year old guys were gay. People really be beefing over this stuff and im like guysssss. Fuckin' chill alright, its not that deep haha

Hope you stick around in the fandom! Although if using tumblr is making you unhappy, id suggest making taking a break from it for a minute y’know. Thats what I tend to do when the internet isn’t giving me good vibes and is taking a toll of my mental well-being <3

[aphroditeurl]

all of em

This is answered on mobile lol

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean?Both??? An organized mess.

what color are your eyes?A light brown.

do you like your name? why?Yes cause I dont know a lot of people with the same name as me.

what is your relationship status? @funkypanda idk what do you think??

describe your personality in 3 words or lessAwkward, perceptive, stressed lmao

what color hair do you have?Brunette naturally. It’s auburnish rn.

what kind of car do you drive? color?None. I have anxiety driving.

where do you shop?Like. Food. Clothes? Be specific lol

how would you describe your style?Girly casual.

favorite social media accountTumblr

what size bed do you have? A queen

any siblings?Nopeif you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?With Alvin, wherever that ends up beingfavorite snapchat filter? The big round glasses one with freckles bc I have natural freckles so it translating on camera is nicefavorite makeup brand(s)E.L.F cause I have sensitive asf skin, Sephorahow many times a week do you shower?Two or three, as stated above, sensitive skin so going above that makes me itchy asffavorite tv show?I don’t really have one. shoe size?6 or 6 1/2

how tall are you?5′1″

sandals or sneakers? Neither. Fucken hate shoes.do you go to the gym? No, I prefer working out at home. Weird gym bros hit on me whenever I go.describe your dream dateSomething hella nerdy but romantic. Museum or aquarium. Arcade!!!! how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?None. Mostly change. what color socks are you wearing? None. Anything on my feet pisses me off. how many pillows do you sleep with?Too goddamn many. 4 or 5.do you have a job? what do you do? Yes, stupid grocery stocker. I want and desperately need a new one.how many friends do you have? *snorts*whats the worst thing you have ever done? Trusted the wrong manwhats your favorite candle scent? Anything flowery or oceany 3 favorite boy namesTheoPeter I don’t have a third3 favorite girl namesEleanor Courtney Sverrefavorite actor? I don’t have onefavorite actress? Same as abovewho is your celebrity crush?Angelina Jolie if I truly had to choose someone. 

favorite movie? Surfs Updo you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I try to? But not really. Favorite book is Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green for reasons.money or brains? Brainsdo you have a nickname? what is it? Sav, Savi, Vee, Vannah, so many. Fuck. how many times have you been to the hospital?A lot. My mom was a nurse lmao.top 10 favorite songsFUckennNN1) Pyro - Kings of Leon2) Praying - Kesha3) Guys My Age - Hey Violet4) In One Ear - Cage The Elephant 5) Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked - Cage The Elephant6) Work Song - Hozier 7) Anything by The Fray tbh8) Bad Liar - Selena Gomez 9) Mother & Father - Broods10) Hold Me Down - Halsey

do you take any medications daily? Nopewhat is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)Both, it’s mixedwhat is your biggest fear? Dying alonehow many kids do you want? One, I think that’s all I could handle. But I’d like a mini family.whats your go to hair style?I just wear it down most days. Too heavy to have it up.what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) An apartment lmaowho is your role model? My momwhat was the last compliment you received?“affection erection” what was the last text you sent?“I’m..I’m doing my best”how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?10. I still lowkey believe though.what is your dream car? 1967 Thunderbird. Blue.opinion on smoking?Gross. No.do you go to college? No but will be taking summer classes I hopewhat is your dream job? Zoology!! I wanna save animals and teach kidswould you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? A healthy mixture of bothdo you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No cause it’s always awful on my hairdo you have freckles? All over my facedo you smile for pictures?No. I hate my smile lmaohow many pictures do you have on your phone? Do I have to count them lmaohave you ever peed in the woods? yeah it’s called campingdo you still watch cartoons? SU sometimesdo you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?None of the above, I don’t eat meatFavorite dipping sauce? ...I’m so whiteranchwhat do you wear to bed? If I can get away with it, nothing. Mostly though a t-shirt and sweatshave you ever won a spelling bee?No but I nearly entered once. Social anxiety fucked that one up. what are your hobbies?Graphic design, writing, biking, video gamescan you draw? Not welldo you play an instrument?No but I’d like to learn violin what was the last concert you saw? Fucken some country artist at a fair idktea or coffee?NeitherStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Ehhh indifferent do you want to get married?Fuck yeah I dowhat is your crush’s first and last initial?A.Ware you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah I hate my last namewhat color looks best on you? Dark red, maroonishdo you miss anyone right now? @funkypanda :cdo you sleep with your door open or closed?Closeddo you believe in ghosts?yeeepwhat is your biggest pet peeve? LOUD. CHEWING. I have not spoken to people for days over this.last person you called`Alvviiinnfavorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chipregular oreos or golden oreos? Golden *prepares to get flailed* chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? RAINBOW IM GAYwhat shirt are you wearing? It’s an old baggy tee because tiredwhat is your phone background?It’s Alvins’ faceare you outgoing or shy?Shyyyy but once I get comfy with someone, more outgoingdo you like it when people play with your hair?MmmMMMM YESdo you like your neighbors? Nodo you wash your face? at night? in the morning?No. Weirdly enough washing my face makes me break out. I am happily acne free. have you ever been high? I wishhave you ever been drunk? Partiallylast thing you ate? Soupfavorite lyrics right now“Towers of gold are still too littleThese hands could hold the world but it'llNever be enough” summer or winter? Summer i am so over FuckEnsnOW and the COLD I AM SO DONEday or night? Nightdark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk, or whitefavorite month? Juneewhat is your zodiac signLibra.  who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom

[broken-celestia-blog]

I'm venting for the sake of venting I don't want sympathy I want understanding. My mum is an alcoholic, she did bad things to me as a child, let me see and experience bad things. Like hard drug use, physical abuse, molestation, beatings, verbal abuse, gaslighting and a plethora of other things. She refused to acknowledge that she cheated on my middle sister's father and got pregnant with me which caused her dad to want to kill himself, my mother and my dad. He ended up killing himself by the time the police got there. My sister ended up blaming me for simply existing up until I was about 2-3. My parents moved in to my grandmothers when I was very young, and my grandfather was extremely horrible like threatening and nearly cutting my fingers off with scissors because I broke a cup. I now refuse to use scissors as much as possible. My dad cheated on her when I around 6 and she found out they broke up. He was fucking a girl who went to school with my eldest sister. She was 21 at the time dw. So mum and I left and moved into a new house a junkie friend of hers got for us, she fucked random guys and I had a new potential step dad every god-damn week until she met John who 11yrs later killed himself because of her. When I was around 7-8 he shipped us off to the other side of the country and he was already an alcoholic, we'd escaped my sister who at the time had an abusive junkie boyfriend and I saw things no child should see. We settled in okay but then Johns ex followed us interstate, mum and john both had serious drinking problems. I was the kid who came to school without lunch sometimes or had shitty uniforms because they couldn't afford it, basically we were poor asf and it all went to john and mum for stuff. I missed out on so many excursions etc/so many events because we couldn't afford it because they spent it on booze. My mum decided to go back to school and my step dad was looking after me one day when he touched me inappropriately and hit me because my room wasn't cleaned to his standard I told mum and she confronted John about it but they got into a fight and they went on a break it lasted a week and then they got back together because she forgave him even though I was seriously uncomfortable after what he did. I was 9 when she called my father one day and told them she couldn't look after me anymore and she was a bad mum and she wants to work on her alcohol problem etc/doesn't want me to end up like her. So off I was back to Perth to my abusive dad/his family. My dad would regularly beat me, belittle me and use fear tactics. He made me eat a moldy sandwich that my cousin had left in his room because they thought I planted it there. I developed and eating disorder there and struggled with my sexuality - I am gay and I wanted to be open but they were forcing me into arranged relationships I didn't want to be in. I was whipped with a belt my aunt because I told her I would clean something later because I had HW to do. Basically mum sent me to a really horrible place. Then when I was 14 I came out my dad sent me to my mothers. I lived there in the middle of south west wa because apparently she'd moved back. John was still with her he was scary as ever and his drinking was worse. She had a vicious dog that was bred to be a hunting dog. It scared me. She told me John had stopped drinking yet we were mysteriously running out of money all the time and he always smelled of liquor. After she decided a few months later she was going to break up with him and leave him for good he decided to kill himself because apparently she upset him too much and some other stuff. Mum never took my mental health seriously would constantly drop the "well I'm not your father so what's worse lol" or the classic "I'm an adult only adults can be mentally ill" low and behold at 18 I now have ptsd and dependent personality disorder all diagnosed by 3 different psychs unrelated to each other so it's not biased. Then at 16 I moved out because I couldn't stand being with her because of all the trauma she put me through (plethora of things that aren't listed) and she still to this day 2yrs later thinks I moved out for love when I told her the reason. I told her she loves her vicious dog more than me and that upset her so she drank a bottle of vodka and nearly poisoned herself and my sisters are convinced she's a saint yet they all ran away from her at 15. Basically I want to kill myself because something once again is my fault and my dr's/my girlfriend/her family tell me it's not my fault but she blamed me because I upset her. :( I'm tired of her manipulating and gaslighting and just being horrible.