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pimosworld · 7 months ago

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Push

Pairing- Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary- Joel never gets pushed too far, except when it comes to you.

CW-18+,MDNI,NSFW, jackson era Joel, established relationship, Ellie is a menace, reader is a bad ass, canon typical violence, blood, wounds, minor character death, protective Joel, protective reader, Angst, Smut,unprotected piv,Joel needs a big ol hug, no description of reader, no use of y/n.

WC-3.5k

A/N- Joel has inspired me lately and I may be procrastinating too much with him but I just can’t help myself.

[Main Masterlist][Joel Miller Masterlist]

Not beta read

Maybe you should’ve pushed back a little when Ellie suggested you travel a little further to the pond just outside of the patrol area. Some small part of you was still trying to bond with the teenager despite you knowing how much she admired you. It was a little selfish to want to impress someone that knew next to nothing about what the world had been.

She was so persistent and just like Joel you couldn’t resist those eyes and her smile.

“Please I promise it will be quick.” Her face was fixed in a pout and you thought what harm could it be to let her live a little.

You’d spent months on this route, many times with Joel,Tommy or Ellie. You hadn’t seen a living soul out here in so long that you forgot what you were even patrolling for.

You feel a push in the direction down the tall grass path as the sweat drips down your back. The first really hot day you’ve had in a while and it makes you dizzy. Unable to form a coherent thought. All poor excuses for not being able to make the right decisions.

You suppose the horses need a break too as the pond comes into view like a mirage. Ellie trotting a little faster when she sees the ripple of the water calling her name. You can hear it faintly in the distance calling out to you as the shade from the willow casts a perfect shadow onto the landscape in front of you. The lush green, tiny leaves still flowing in the light breeze before the heat has them give way to yellow and orange.

She’s already off her horse, socks and shoes discarded as she steps boldly into the water up to her knees. Joel would kill her for being so careless with her clothes but you know he often forgot how impatient children could be.

He was equally as impatient with you when you’d return from a long day of not seeing him, not being able to run your fingers through his soft curls at the nape of his neck. Not wanting to waste another moment with your body pressed up against his. He’d take you in the hallway when Ellie was gone, practically tripping over himself to get to you.

You try not to think about that now as you strip your boots off next to the water. Unlike Ellie you don’t fancy wet pants so you take those off too, laying them gently along the horse's back. You try not to think about how nice it would be to dip into this pond with him, bare as you float with your legs wrapped around his waist while he holds you safely under so not to expose you to the elements or any prying eyes.

Perhaps the prying eyes you would’ve seen had Ellie not pushed you into the cold water. It takes your breath away at first. Despite the heat outside, the last remnants of snow seem to still linger in this private sanctuary. The water is colder than anything you’ve felt. You come up gasping for air as she stands before you keeled over in laughter and you can’t help but join her when you look down at your disheveled state.

“Wow you’re so clumsy.” She says as she feigns innocence.

“That was a dirty trick.” You splash her as she screams running back to the water's edge. “I’m gonna tell Joel you’re afraid of water.” You yell back at her as your body acclimates to the frigid temperature. The oversized shirt you borrowed from Joel clinging to your skin as your hands skim along the tops of the water.

“You wouldn’t dare loser. I’ll tell him this was your idea.” You know she would too, and he might’ve believed her had the circumstances been different.

Ellie’s already lacing up her boots when you hear it. A disturbance in the trees too loud over the sound of your heart beating faster. The hair standing up on the back of your neck as you turn around and lock eyes with two men on horseback. Two men who’ve never set foot in the little community you’ve built into a family. Two men who don’t look like they want to ask for directions. Two men sizing up the competition while you scramble for a way to get Ellie to safety because you know Joel would kill you if you contemplated any less.

“Well aren’t you just an angel in white.” The younger man says as he takes you in. Your shirt soaked through leaving nothing to the imagination and your damn pants draped neatly on your horse.

You can hear your name being called again as you turn to Ellie, wide eyed across the pond.

“Go!”

“What the fuck no, I’m not leaving you!” She yells back, the ever overconfident spit fire that she is.

A quick whistle behind you and you’re moving to the water line before they cut you both off. It’s save Ellie or none of you.

“Ellie so help me god, if you never listen to me another day in your life listen to me right now and go!” She starts to protest but the horse beside her is getting restless. “I promise I’ll be right behind you.”

Even if it’s not true you say it all the same. She mounts her horse with tears in her eyes as she takes off through the tall grass.

“We got a runner.” The man not much older than Joel juts his chin on Ellie’s direction. You’re grateful she’s far out of your eyesight with her horse that’s much faster than yours.

“Want me to go after her?” The other man snarls as if you’re not standing right there. Enough of a distraction to at least make it near your horse.

The last thing you want is to be stuck between these two desperate souls. Without pants…that’s not how you expected to die. Wading through this cool oasis only to be met by the devil.

“No loose ends.” He smirks at you as you retrieve your bow from the pack on your horse. You don’t suppose he knew those would be his last words, but he pushed you to this.

You raise your arm high, steadying the bow as you feel the tension of the string beneath your fingers. Joel always said you were a better shot with this than a revolver and he could never figure out how.

“Now what are you gonna do with that besides piss me —“ . It’s only the sound of the whoosh next to your ear before he’s clutching his hands around the arrow lodged in his throat. His partner's momentary shock buys you enough time to at least get half dressed before you mount your horse.

His dramatic fall to the ground causes his horse to skitter off as you give chase in the opposite direction of Ellie, the opposite direction of the safe town that you love so much that holds the man who loves you just as hard. Who will be cursing you for being the savior when you could’ve been selfish.

****

Joel hates these days. Bright, beautiful, sunny days. It’s days like these where things always seemed to go wrong. Like the universe knows to throw a little chaos into something otherwise so perfect. Nothing in this world is allowed to be that perfect. Except you.

You were the reason he started drifting away from the gloom and overcast and started to bask in the sun. Let the warmth of the rays wash over him like a golden flame bath.

When he’d catch you laying in the yard just glowing and he never wanted to disturb you but you always seemed to know when his presence loomed near. Maybe his scent or the magnetic pull you both had on each other as you pat the patch of grass next you. He’d grumble about his back and his knees later but in those moments he didn’t care. Not when you smile so sweet next to him as you block the sun with your hand.

“Where’s Ellie?” You already half know the answer. If she was anywhere near she’d have been out here grumbling just like Joel about you laying in the sun all while joining you in the activity.

“She’s at a friends…why’d ya-.” He can’t even get the words out before you’re up. Throwing one leg over his waist as you push him down. He grunts and lays back rolling his eyes at your theatrics.

He doesn’t really think you’re gonna do what it looks like you’re doing and he’s proved right when you scoot down just enough to settle onto his chest. The front of you all warm against him as you breathe in the smell of his flannel. Your arms come to rest on his shoulders as you wiggles your ass a little more to find the right spot. He just looks down at you curiously as you tilt your head to the side and sigh. Finally content with your position on top of him, listening to his steady heartbeat.

His heartbeat has picked up a little at the close proximity of you. A position you’ve been in much more compromising in your shared bedroom with much less clothes. He can see it now as he closes his eyes, your naked body on top of his as you take from him what you want. You chuckle as you feel his cock twitch beneath you as he lets his mind wander a little further. That earns you a pinch which makes you laugh even harder.

“Quit squirmin’ honey or I’m gonna have to do something’ about this.” His hands grip your waist as he pulls you in closer and a shudder runs through your body.

“M’ not squirmin’.” You mumble into his chest.

“Mhmm, ya comfortable enough?” His voice is low and slow like he’s drifting off to sleep.

“Ya Miller, I’m comfortable.”

****

The sun is still high in the sky, but he can tell it’s later than it should be. He stands with his arms crossed against the gate staring off into the open plains. You and Ellie were always punctual with morning patrol returns. Or maybe he should say you. The routine you grew to love when you were first assigned. It left you the day to do what you wanted. Take a nap, read a book, make dinner and visit with Maria.

He’s growing impatient as he watches the horizon for any signs of you. His eyes playing tricks on him when he thinks he can procure an image of the two of you laughing about something as you approach the town. He squints even more and he can hear your voice now telling him in another life he’d need an optometrist.

He pushes off the gate when another image threatens to make him think he’s lost his mind. He thinks he has when his heart drops into his stomach at the sight of Ellie on her horse. Kicking up dust and riding faster towards him than he’s ever seen in his life. The two of you aren’t racing or playing some sick joke on him. It’s just her coming into view, panicked eyes as she locks onto his.

He doesn’t wait for Tommy, doesn’t wait for backup that may slow him down anyways as he mounts his horse to meet her in the open. Not bothering to tell the patrol past the gate what he’s doing and where he’s going.

He can see the dry tears and the fresh ones too as he gets closer to her. “Where?” He doesn’t have time to worry about the what, why or how.

“The pond.” She chokes out as he curses under his breath. “It was all my fault…I just -.”

“Save it.” It’s said harsher than he intends but he still can’t help himself. Knowing whose idea it was to go beyond the chartered territory. Knowing you had a weak spot who happened to be named Ellie. His quick bite is enough of a punishment as he takes off in the same direction she came from. He knows she beat herself up enough on the way here and probably made up time with the way she pushed her horse.

He leaves her in the dust as the sound of hoofbeats pound the dry ground beneath him. His chest burns like he’s running as he grips the reins tighter with each passing second. The sweat drips down his back that aches with the pressure of not having ridden this hard in years. He got too comfortable in this town, too used to the mundane way of life. He hadn’t been reminded of what it felt like to have that dread creep in. To feel the rush of adrenaline that he grew so used to in his past life.

He’s gone soft.

The relaxed fall turned into a lazy winter with no murmurs of trouble or infected. Spring made it feel like some utopia that they’d stumbled upon and he’d let the universe pull the wool over his eyes.

You shouldn’t be here…a bright sunny day as it beats down on him. Taunting him with how beautiful the landscape is around him as he barrels through the trees into the undesignated area.

The one rule he told you never to break because trouble lurks near water. People, animals, monsters.

He comes to an abrupt stop at the edge of the water searching for any sign of you. There’s an unfamiliar horse next to an unrecognizable body. He does recognize one thing jutting out of the man’s throat. An arrow. A clean shot, cutting off his airway. He likely died slow as his throat filled with blood and he choked on it until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

He tears his eyes away from the nameless bastard and locks onto your boots. His chest tightens even more at the sight and he’s trying hard to fill his lungs with air. He’s suffocating much like the lifeless body next to him.

He hears your shriek of his name as he whips his head around and sees nothing. Just the trees blowing in the wind. He shouts for you as the weight piles on. The horse beneath him grows frantic as your cries echo in his mind.

This is quite possibly the worst time to be having a panic attack but that’s all he feels as he bellows your name. Each call a heavier weight on his chest until no sound escapes at all. He clutches at his shirt trying to rip it free from his body, it’s too hot and clingy and he can’t get any air.

“Joel!” Nothing, just blackness behind his eyes. “Joel, honey, wake up!”

His hands are shaking as he blinks trying to figure out where you are.

“Honey, look at me.” You’re straddling his waist with your hands on his chest. Fresh tears rolling down your face with wide panicked eyes.

He pushes you off him so fast it startles you. You’ve switched positions now as he traps your body between his arms. You’re not entirely sure he’s fully aware of the situation and that scares you a little. The sweat dripping from his brow and the way his chest heaves with every breath.

He pulls your face back with his large palms and grips your chin in his hand. Frantically tossing it side to side. “Are you hurt?” His voice is wrecked from yelling for god knows how long.

“No Joel, I’m fine.” You say as a tear that’s not yours drops down onto your face.

“Did he hurt you?” It’s strained and shaky as he pulls up your shirt, his that he lets you borrow at night. Inspecting your body for any signs of damage. You just shake your head afraid of answering in a sob, the lump forming in your throat at the sight of him still so worried.

He breathes in deep through his nose and lets out a small sigh of relief. His head drops to the crook of your neck as he lets the full weight of him fall into you. You’re both exhausted for completely different reasons. It was starting to scare you not being able to pull him out of this nightmare. He just kept screaming your name as you tried to shake him awake. You didn’t want him to endure any longer what was plaguing his mind when he was supposed to be sleeping peacefully at your side.

It’s a moment before he speaks. You rubbing his back as you kiss him softly reassuring him that you were right where you needed to be.

“Don’t you ever do anything like that to me again.” He murmurs into your neck in all seriousness. “You come straight home next time.”

“Yes Miller, I’ll always come home to you.” Now’s not the time to tease so you just agree to never commit whatever atrocity it was that had him gripped with fear. Although you can take a wild guess that your name will be scratched from the patrol board for a few weeks.

He sits up a little to look down at you. His eyes are still red but a little more of your Joel in them. He plants a long kiss to your forehead as you place your hand over his heart. The steady thump under your palm much calmer than before.

“Where’s Ellie?”

“She’s at a friend's house, remember?”

Faintly he recalls her asking and you telling her yes, that must have been hours ago. All he knows now is that you’re alone and that he didn’t wake her.

You’re alone

As his hands drift under the hem of the oversized shirt. Your soft skin raised with goosebumps as his fingers trail up higher until he reaches the underside of your breast.

“Joel.” You gently stop him and search his eyes in the dark room. “Are you sure?”

“Please baby, I need you.” Joel groans out, his plea much different at this hour. He needs to feel that you’re real, that you’re here. The strongest soul couldn’t resist Joel Miller begging for you like his life depends on it.

When you oblige it’s frantic, his hands pulling the shirt over your head while your foot hooks into his boxers dragging them down. His mouth is all over you, kissing and biting and breathing you in. He’s growling in your ear that he needs to be inside you and you know he’s desperate when he normally takes his sweet time with you.

This isn’t like one of those times and you don’t need it to be. You just need him, all of him all the time.

A groan leaves his lips as you grip the base of his cock, rubbing it between your folds. You’re so wet already at the sight of him above you, his arms bracing his weight so you can like him up.

It’s sinful the sound that leaves your mouth when he pushes in,burying himself to the hilt in one fluid motion. “Shit sweetheart, so tight.” His words are slurred as he braces his hand on the headboard behind you. His other hand gripping your thigh over his waist.

You don’t have a chance to respond. Only moans and whimpers of his name as he punches the air from your lungs with each thrust of his hips. The sound of skin on skin as you cling to his biceps and shoulders, anything to keep you from tipping over the edge too soon.

He’s babbling above you about how perfect you feel and you just clench around him at the praise.

He’s close and he can see just as much as feel how close you are by the way your eyes practically roll in the back of your head when he angles your hips up, hitting that spot deep inside that only he could seem to find.

He reaches between your sweat soaked bodies trailing his hands down but you stop him. He thinks he’s done something wrong briefly until you place his hand back on your thigh and that look of longing flashes in your eyes. “I want to come like this.”

He grits his teeth at the filthiest thing you’ve ever said. Fucking you with vigor as his hips begin the falter.

“Can I?”

“Fuck yes Joel, come inside me please.”

The pressure boils over at your words. The way it comes out all rushed and desperate. You’re arching your back as you fall over the edge with him. You’re clinging to him like a life vest as he groans in your ear. The light flashing behind his eyes at the most mind blowing orgasm he’s ever had.

He pushes down that feeling that he almost lost you. The one that isn’t real because you’re right here beneath him, looking at him as you brush the hair back from his face like he hung the moon. He kisses the corner of your mouth and down your jaw as you sleepily humm to yourself.

“I’m sorry for wakin’ ya darlin.”

“It’s okay Joel, don’t have patrol for a couple days.”

Tommy can bitch all he wants, you’ll never have patrol again.

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

#joel miller smut #joel x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #tlou imagine #joel miller tlou #ellie and joel #ellie x reader #pedro pascal characters #joel the last of us #joelmiller #protective!joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x f!reader #jackson era joel #tlou fanfiction

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mushlooms · 2 years ago

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i really thought ah yes another episode! more ellie and joel and zombies! and then they gave me a heartbreaking short movie about two gays finding peace & happiness as they grew old alongside one another in a world that at first made them think life was no longer worth living haha hahaha im fine! i’m fine. i’m fine

#bill my beloved #thank god i have therapy tomorrow #they were each others will to live…. ahahahahahaahaha this is my joker #they grew old together…#i was not ready for this #i loved this episode a lot #like the whole setting #the tone the way they gave us more depth of all these characters of joel AND tess as well #and the underlying msg that joel will grow to love ellie as a daughter and fight to protect her #that she will become his purpose #i’m totally fine! not crying at all!#the window scene didn’t destroy me!#tlou #tlou spoilers #tlou hbo #the last of us #the last of us spoilers #og

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kylespence · 3 months ago

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probably the only best thing from playing tlou pt 2 is ellie’s birthday museum flashback and joel saving ellie from the bloater and going completely protective dad mode.

#idk that game is tough to replay #he loved her sm #i don’t want to believe it’s canon at all #he just wanted to protect his daughter #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou #tlou2 #the last of us #ellie and joel

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j-eryewrites · 3 months ago

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Look for the Light

The final part of A Sinner's Redemption

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Word Count: ~9.8k

Author's Note: Agh, I'm honestly crying. It's all too bittersweet. I started this fic over a year ago, and now it's over. I'm happy with how it ended and I'm glad you were all there along for the ride. Thank you for all your support for "A Sinner's Redemption". I hope you all enjoy the conclusion to Ellie, Joel, and Piper's story.

- With much love, the author.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, spoilers for the last episode and game, Joel goes full momma bear, mentions of death, suicidal ideation, mental health, explicit language, major angst and hurt (with comfort), deceit and lies, gun violence, mentions of gore, description of gore, Joel kills a whole bunch of people, mentions of surgery and medical procedures, mentions of infected, descriptions of child birth, mentions of trauma and coping mechanisms, mentions of injuries and scars (let me know if I missed anything)

Look for the Light (the Final Chapter)

Piper seemed to hit every low branch as she was dragged along. The warm hand holding hers was sweaty. Her mother’s long fingers tightened its hold.

“Ow, mommy,” Piper whined. She looked up at her mom, who quickly apologized, fighting off a painful groan.

“Baby, let’s keep going. Come on.” Anna, the girl’s mom, tugged her child along. A distant howl made her blood run cold. Everything was going wrong. Contractions constricted her body’s muscles. A runner was after them. She’d been running for who knows how long with Piper in tow. Despite the overwhelming surge of fear, Anna knew one thing. She had to keep her sweet girl safe. Both of them, now that the other one was fighting to come out into the world.

“Mommy, I-“

Anna pulled Piper along. “I know, sweet girl. I know. Once we get to the house, we’ll be safe. I promise.”

Heavy huffs of breath fall from Anna’s mouth. The pains were getting worse. She couldn’t keep the sound in—the sound the monster used to track them.

“Fuck,” Anna cried, using her free hand to clutch her round stomach.

“Mommy?” Piper peered up at Anna with worried eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Anna softly smiled down at her daughter. “Mommy’s okay, Pipes. Mommy’s okay.” She knew Piper didn’t believe her. Three-year-olds were brilliant, especially when it came to their mothers.

“Look, Pipes.” Anna pointed to the tall gray house up ahead. “We’re here.”

Anna hastily waddled her and Piper along into the house. The door swung open. “It’s me!” Anna announced. No one answered. Frantically, she looked around. “Anyone?!”

“Mommy?”

“Not now, sweetie.” A screech pierced the air. “Shit!” Anna cursed, pulling Piper up the stairs and into the farthest room. “In here, sweetie.”

Letting go of her daughter’s hand, Anna closed the door, locked it, and dragged a chair to barricade the room.

“Mommy?” Piper whispered. Her tiny finger pointed to the puddle of water underneath Anna’s legs.

“Oh…” Anna grasped her stomach. “Sweetie,” Anna winced. “Help mommy sit down.”

Piper ran to her mom’s side, reaching for her hand. With a thump, Anna collapsed against the floor. Gently, she wiped some of the grime off of Piper’s face.

“I love you; you know that, right?” Anna asked. Piper nodded.

Suddenly, glass broke. It came from downstairs. Anna bit her lip to stifle her groan. “Baby, go hide in-,” Anna howled in pain. “Go hide.”

The chair against the door thumped. Growls seeped through the cracks. It found them.

“Piper! Go-“

The door flung open. The infected charged into the room. Its sights were set on Anna’s little girl. Except it didn’t attack Piper. With a swing, the girl was tossed to the side. The infected’s actual target was revealed as it lunged at Anna.

Piper screamed, and Anna fought. With a switchblade, she swiped at the monster, fighting it off as her body fought to push a baby out. The creature gnashed its teeth, searching for something to bite. The rotten bones found home in Anna’s thigh. She cried out in pain, bringing down the blade into the Infected. She grunted with each slice of her weapon until it dropped dead.

A new cry filled the air. It was the baby.

“Oh…oh…” Anna cooed, lifting her baby. She was tiny. Her frail arms flailed in the air. Her dark eyes crinkled open.

“Mommy?” Piper’s voice called to her mom.

Anna glanced up. “Piper, come meet your sister.”

Piper tip-toed over to her mom and new baby sister.

“Hi…hey…” Anna cooed. She turned the baby over to Piper. The young girl brought her face as close as possible to her new sister.

“She looks funny,” Piper muttered.

The baby started to cry again. Anna held her close. “Did I make her cry?” Piper sniffled. Anna shook her head and chuckled.

“No, sweet girl. Babies just cry.” Then Anna turned to the baby. “Yeah, you tell ’em. You fuckin’ tell ’em, Ellie.”

“Hi Ellie…” Piper whispered. Baby Ellie grew quiet. Her bright, wide eyes looked over at her mom and sister. “I’m your big sister.”

“Do you want to hold her, Pipes?” Piper nodded. With her tiny arms, Piper held Ellie close.

“Hold her head like this, and-“ Anna adjusted Piper’s arms. “Just like that.” Anna sank deeper into the wall. Her eyes watched over her daughters, the view growing blurry.

“Yeah, it’s okay…” Anna whispered to herself. The pain in the thigh crawled its way around her body. She could feel the infection spread.

“Piper,” Anna said. “Can you take your sister and sit in the corner over there?” Piper looked confused but did as her mother said.

Anna bit back a growl. “Fuck,” she quietly cursed. She prayed that Marlene and the others would be back soon. She prayed the last thing her daughters would see was their mother become a monster.

“It’s okay.”

When Anna opened her eyes next, crickets began to chirp outside. Silently, she scolded herself for closing her eyes. Beside her, Piper sat, curled up around her baby sister, the two of them fast asleep. Anna lovingly smiled even if Piper had left the corner.

Taking a hand, she began to run her fingers through Piper’s hair. Her voice croaked but quickly smoothed out as she sang to her baby girls.

♪ Hold me ♪

♪ Close to your heart ♪

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ Give all your love to me. ♪

“Anna?” Marlene’s voice called out. Anna sat up straighter as the door to the room creaked open. Bright white lights momentarily blinded her.

“Oh god,” Marlene cursed, noticing the bite on Anna’s thigh.

With a calm voice, Anna looked up at her friend. “It’s not your fault.”

“We were delayed getting out of the zone. I’m so-“

“They’re hungry,” Anna said, looking down at her girls. “The baby needs to be fed, and I…I didn’t wanna nurse her.” Marlene furrowed her brows in skepticism. “I cut it before I was bit, and it never got to Piper. Marlene,” Anna begged.”Before.”

Sighing, Marlene lowered her gun and approached Anna. Her hands gently reached for the baby in Piper’s arms. Unconsciously, the young girl’s grip tightened around her sister.

“Sweet girl,” Anna whispered, rubbing her finger gently up and down her daughter’s nose. “Piper, I need you to wake up.” Piper stirred and snuggled deeper into her mother’s side. “Baby, please.” Piper awoke. Bringing her hands to the sides of Piper’s face, Anna smiled. Her eyes fought back tears. “There’s my sweet girl.”

“Mommy?” Piper said groggily.

“Yeah, it’s mommy. I need you to promise me something, Piper. Can you do that for mommy?” Piper nodded. “Can you promise to watch over your sister?” Again, Piper nodded, wiping the sleep away. “I need you to be a big girl and a big sister.” Tears began to flow out of Anna’s eyes. “I need you to promise me you’ll always be with her. Piper and Ellie forever. Okay?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Piper’s hand reached up to her mom’s face. Her tiny fingers wiped away tears. Anna struggled to peel off her daughter’s hands.

“Piper, remember Aunty Marlene? She’s gonna take you and Ellie to a new home.”

“Where are you gonna go, mommy?” Piper asked, and Anna wanted to break in two.

“I want you to…” Anna’s voice trembled as she looked at Marlene. “…take them with you to Boston… find someone to bring them up, and make sure that they’re safe.”

“I can’t do that,” Marlene breathed, but Anna ignored her.

“And I want you to give her this.” Anna handed over a small switchblade.

“Anna.”

“Her name is Ellie,” Anna explained.

“I can’t,” Marlene sternly said.

“How long have we known each other?” Anna asked. Her eyes held strength even as her mind fought the monster crawling within.

“Our whole lives,” Marlene answered.

“So you pick her up right now…take Piper, and then you kill me.”

“I can’t kill you.”

“Please, please, please.” Anna cried as Marlene stepped away with her daughters in tow. “Please!”

“Mommy?!” Piper began to cry, seeing her mother so distressed.

Anna groaned as a growl grew from her chest. It was coming—the monster.

“Marlene!” Anna screamed. Tears poured freely from her face.

“Mommy!” Piper flailed around as Marlene drew her back from her mom. “Mommy!!”

Suddenly, Marlene’s hand withdrew and was replaced by another.

“Here,” Marlene instructed the Firefly. “Hold her head… There you go.” Ellie cooed in the man’s arms. “Cover her ears.” Then she crouched down to Piper. “Cover your ears for me, Piper.”

Piper shook her head. Her only thought was her mother. “Mommy!” She cried. Anna’s sobs followed the sound.

Marlene clenched her jaw and stood up. The gun felt heavy in her hand as she marched back into the room. She had to make it quick. Anna nodded and closed her eyes. Thoughts of her daughters flashed before her as the bullet tore through her skull.

Piper’s ears rang. Ellie cried, and her sister screamed. Piper didn’t stop screaming for her mother until sleep overcame her petite body. Even when she woke up, she still cried for Anna. But she’d never come. Instead, Piper clung to her baby sister. Although memories faded with time, one thing remained clear. Piper promised. It was her and Ellie. Sisters forever.

꧁_____________꧂

A smile beamed from Joel’s face at his surprise find. Pulling himself away from the car, he called out to his girls. There was no response. He sighed.

“Ellie! Piper!”

No reaction. Joel walked closer to the truck the girls sat on. Their eyes glazed over, stuck in their own heads.

“Girls!”

Piper blinked, her ears ringing as Joel’s voice called out to her. With a gentle nudge of her elbow, she pulled Ellie out of her trance.

“D’ya hear me?” Joel asked the girls.

“No…,” Ellie shook her head. “What?”

“Well,” Joel began, “found this in there. Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” He proudly grinned at them.

“Oh, cool,” they muttered at the same time. Their postures shrank back down.

“And have you ever played this?” Joel blurted, regaining the girl’s attention. “Boggle? It’s a word game.”

The girls shook their heads.

“Well, if you wanna beat me at somethin’, it would be this.” Ellie’s ears perked up at Joel’s words, but she didn’t speak. Neither of them did.

With each moment of silence, Joel felt his heart tear in smaller and smaller pieces. “Well, all right then. We’re gettin’ close.” He strolled over to the girls, packing away his finds.

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hummed.

“Hospital that way.” Joel pointed over their shoulders. “May be the one we’re lookin’ for.”

“Got it,” Ellie muttered, hopping off the back of the truck.

Slowly, Piper placed her feet on the ground. Her hands clutched tightly to the metal of the vehicle. Joel’s eyes flashed with pity, looking at the teen.

Scars had littered her body. The biggest one was found on her face like a crevice carved by tears from her now pale eye. She couldn’t see out of it anymore. A consequence Joel blamed himself for. Joel had done his best to help her heal, but it was never enough to stave off the bouts of pain that would arise from time to time. He knew even more scars were hiding deeper under her skin—for both of them.

“Take this for me?” Joel asked Piper, holding up his gun. She held it as Joel slung the backpack over his shoulder. “Thanks.” Piper nodded, brushing her hair behind her ears.

It had grown out since they’d left Jackson. Her dark curls were tucked beneath her chin. The length helped hide some of the more minor scars that lined her face.

“They had a guitar in that RV,” Joel announced as they passed an abandoned RV on the highway. The girls nodded with false amusement. “It was all smashed up but got me thinkin’, maybe I should find one. I haven’t played in forever.” Joel turned to look behind him at Ellie and Piper. “In fact, I was thinkin’ maybe I could teach you two. I bet you guys be great at it. Maybe make our own little band.” A slight chuckle left Joel’s mouth as he thought about a band of the three of them plucking away at guitars. “Do you two wanna learn how to play guitar?”

Piper shrugged before tripping over some rubble. Thankfully, she caught herself before falling to the ground.

“Ellie?” Joel muttered.

“Hm?” Ellie’s brain quickly recovered. “Oh, yeah. That’d be great. A little guitar band.”

Joel smiled at his girls. His grin was big enough for the three of them when neither of his girls felt like smiling.

The birds chirped louder and louder as they entered Salt Lake City. Even in late spring, the city emitted a ghastly heat.

“Okay, so this is what I’m thinking…” Joel began, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“Cut through that building to get around that stuff, find the skyscraper, go up and look around,” Ellie vacantly finished.

Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly collected himself. “Uhh, actually, this time, I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble.” The girls looked up at him with expressions of pure confusion. “I found some dynamite in that RV back there,” Joel said, fighting off a telling smile.

“Really?” The girls cocked their brows.

“No,” Joel teased. The smile exploded on his face. “So we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up and look around. But I had you goin’, didn’t I?”

Piper rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. Ellie scoffed and continued on walking.

“Look at this place,” Joel muttered, peeking around the abandoned construction site. “Talk about bad luck.” Ellie sent him a questioning look, and Joel answered. “Military drops bombs… not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.”

“No way up,” Piper mumbled. Joel peered around, discovering she was right. Spotting the edges of a ladder above, Joel turned to the girls.

“I get you two up there. You guys can drop that ladder down; maybe we go through that way,” Joel proposed. “Come on. I’ll give you a boost.”

Piper stepped up. Her hand clutched onto Joel’s shoulder as he hoisted her up. He could feel her legs shaking in hesitation as she reached for the edge. Suddenly, her legs buckled beneath her.

“You okay?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just my leg.” Piper’s hand rubbed the area where she got shot. “Get Ellie to do it.”

“Alright.” Joel nodded. “Ellie?” The girl didn’t answer him. “Ellie?”

“Els!” Piper yelled.

“What?” Ellie said, whirling around. Her attention had been taken away from the flapping construction sheet.

“You alright?” Joel questioned. “It’s just you kinda seem extra quiet today, so.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Ellie apologized.

“No, it’s fine,” Joel reassured her. “Did you hear what I…”

“Yeah, boost. Got it.”

Marching over to Joel, Ellie copied Piper’s earlier motions.

“One… two, up.” Ellie stood up tall and reached for the edge. A grunt escaped her mouth as she pulled herself up. The ladder clattered as Ellie slid it down to Joel.

“Ya got it?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah,” Joel huffed, trying to latch onto the ladder. Suddenly, the ladder dropped. The metal clambered to the floor. Joel narrowly dodged the object.

“God damn it, Ellie!” Joel cursed and picked up the ladder. “Shit.”

“You stay there!” He instructed Ellie.

She didn’t listen. Joel heard her voice echo off the walls of the building as she moved away from the ledge. “You gotta see this!” She exclaimed with excitement.

“Ellie?!” Joel yelled. Climbing up the ladder. Upon reaching the top, he helped Piper come to her feet before they ran after Ellie.

“Up here!” Ellie announced.

“Ellie!” Joel reprimanded.

“C’mon!” He could practically hear the young girl jumping up and down with joy. “C’mon, slow pokes.”

“Just wait. God damn it,” Joel grumbled. His knees ached as he trekked up the stairs and after Ellie. When he got to the top, his breath stilled.

His feet didn’t move. He stood there watching Ellie admire a giraffe. Piper stopped beside him, catching her breath before she approached her sister and the animal. Joe wanted to freeze time as the girls stared in awe at the peaceful creature. But time didn’t work like that.

Slowly, Joel stepped forward.

“Don’t scare it,” Ellie whispered.

“I won’t.”

His hands deftly snapped some leaves off the tree the animal was munching on. He passed the leaves to his girls.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, taking the leaves.

“It’s all right.” Then Joel stuck out his hand, feeding the giraffe. He raised his brows and motioned for the girls to do the same. “Come here, hurry up. Come on.”

Ellie was the first to step up. Hesitantly, she stuck out her hand as far away as she could from her body. The giraffe sniffed the leaves before opening its mouth to munch on them. Its dark tongue licked around Ellie’s hand. Giggles erupted from the girl’s mouth.

“Ellie, give me a try,” Piper interjected, sticking her hand of leaves to the creature. The giraffe moved from Ellie’s hand to Piper’s and began to feast. Disgust and amusement contorted on the teen’s face.

“God, it’s wet and it tickles.” Piper felt a shiver go down her spine. Ellie laughed and teased her sister.

Scratch what he thought earlier. If Joel could freeze time, he’d do it now. His girls were happy. God, he hadn’t heard them laugh in so long. It was better than any music he’d ever heard in his life.

“So fucking cool,” Ellie muttered at the giraffe. Before the girls knew it, their hands were empty of leaves, and the giraffe had pulled back. Its lanky legs were taking it away.

“Aw, where’s she going?” Ellie hopped back before entering a sprint, determined to follow the giraffe. “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”

Piper skipped after her, eager to spend longer with the animal.

“Okay,” Joel chuckled, chasing after his girls.

When he finally reached them, Joel couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of deja vu. There, Ellie and Piper stood, gazing out across a city. The sunlight reflected off the shattered windows of the skyline. Nature overcame the city. Vines and trees ensnared everything in sight.

“So… is it everything ya hoped for?” Joel repeated himself.

Ellie grinned. “It’s got its ups and downs… but you can’t deny that view.”

Joel laughed and then joined them. The view was lovely. His eyes scanned the scene and froze on what appeared to be a hospital.

“Look,” he turned to Ellie and Piper. “I don’t know exactly where this hospital is…”

“Yeah, we’ll find it.” Ellie didn’t remove her gaze from the view.

“Sure. It’s just…” Joel trailed off, thinking of his following words. “Maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far, there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.”

“We’re still here, though.” Ellie was facing him now.

“I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.” Taking a deep breath, Joel made sure he had both girls' full attention. “We don’t have to do this. I just… I want you to know that.”

Piper froze. All of a sudden, she felt like she was on fire. Did she want to do this? She knew what awaited her and Ellie. Sick boiled in her stomach, and Piper wished she hadn’t eaten anything that day.

“What do you mean? What else are we supposed to do?” Ellie questioned.

“Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s.” Piper could tell it was all he wanted to do by the way Joel spoke. “We forget about the whole damn thing.”

Ellie shook her head. “After all we’ve been through… everything I’ve done… it can’t be for nothing.”

With Ellie’s confirmation, Piper knew her answer. She could see the hope in Ellie’s eyes. Those eyes had been so void of anything since their entrapment with David. Piper had already failed Ellie once. She knew she couldn’t do it again. How would she live with herself if she let her sister mindlessly walk alone into death's hands?

“I know you mean well,” Joel began.

Standing straighter, Ellie interrupted. “I know you wanna protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want. Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon.” Joel laughed.

Inside, Piper cried. Her dream flashed in her mind. She returned to it every night and almost stayed in her dream that day. God, Piper wanted more than anything to have her dream come true. But Piper had made a promise. It was her and Ellie until the end, and if Ellie wanted to march right into death's arms, so would she. After all, maybe then Piper could do something good. Maybe in her death, she’d finally be able to do what she always wished- then perhaps she’d be able to save someone instead of killing.

“I’ll follow you anywhere you go,” Ellie continued. “ But there’s no halfway with this. We finish what we started.”

꧁_____________꧂

Joel’s plan was a plan. That was all Piper could say. After they’d found a way around all the rubble, Joel decided they would just walk around. They’d stumble upon the hospital eventually. However, Piper saw through Joel’s confusion. It was hard to comment on anything over her pain.

The worst of it came from her leg. Getting shot wasn’t fun. It's definitely an experience Piper wouldn’t recommend. Next came the pain in her eye. About a day or two after they escaped from the cannibalistic cult, she started to lose vision until she became completely blind.

It was tricky navigating the world with a crippled leg and a narrower peripheral vision. Some days, it was too hard. Phantom pain from her other injuries nabbed at her, cutting deep into her mind. She was weak. Piper couldn’t even walk a few miles without her leg giving out. Most of their travels to Salt Lake consisted of Piper using Joel as a crutch. Eventually, Joel assembled one for her, but she refused to use it. She just couldn’t. Not when she knew how strong she could be. If anything, Piper would just suffer through the pain. After all, it’s what she deserved for failing her sister. Piper deserved it all.

“Was this a FEDRA thing?” Ellie’s voice cut through the torment circling Piper’s mind.

Joel shook his head as they entered the abandoned encampment. “No. Army,” he corrected. “They put these places up all around the first few days after the outbreak. Emergency medical camps. Obviously, it didn't last. They had me in one just like this.”

Looking back, Joel noticed Piper lagging. Her face clenched as her hand grazed over her leg. Nodding to Ellie, he led them to a makeshift bench. The tension in Piper’s face eased.

“Were you there with Sarah?” Ellie asked, resuming their previous conversation.

“No,” Joel’s face dropped as he looked at his hands. “She was gone already.”

“Oh,” uttered Ellie.

“So what did happened?” Piper piped up to distract from the lingering pain in her thigh.

“It was for this.” Joel pointed to the scar on the side of his head.

Ellie’s eyes widened with recognition. “Ah, the guy who shot and missed. I figured that would’ve happened later.”

“No. Second day,” Joel explained.

“Well, I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people,” Ellie sighed. “They were way better at stitchin’ you up than Piper was.” She peered at her sister, hoping her teasing comment would help distract Piper. It didn’t.

“It was me,” Joel admitted. “I was the guy who shot and missed.”

Piper gulped. “Oh…” She breathed. All thoughts of her pain were replaced with concern for Joel.

“There’s no story.” Joel began. He hated telling this story. He was at his lowest. His weakest. He had lost everything. “Sarah died… and I couldn’t see the point anymore. Simple as that. And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. When I… When I… went to pull the trigger, I-I flinched. Still don’t know why.”

Piper fiddled with her fingers, tracing the scars along her palms. She’d been there. Piper would have done it, and she wouldn’t have missed. In her mind, she saw the mall, the infected, and Ellie and Riley. Unconsciously, Piper trailed up to the scar of her bite mark. The mark was a perfect match to her teeth. She could still hear Riley and Ellie’s begs–asking her to kill them.

“Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this…” Joel trailed off, looking at Piper’s, whose knuckles had turned white.

“I know why you’re tellin’ me all this,” Ellie interjected.

Joel turned to her. “Yeah, I reckon you do,” he smiled.

“So time heals all wounds, I guess.” Ellie jokingly rolled her eyes at the cliche.

“It’ll be fucking years then…” Piper mumbled, making Joel’s heart shatter.

“It wasn’t time that did it.” It was said so softly, but even through their trauma-induced daze, the girls heard it.

“Oh…” Piper softly said. A faint smile ghosted her lips.

“Well, I’m glad that… that didn’t work out,” Ellie muttered.

“Me, too,” Joel admitted.

Suddenly, he felt a gentle weight on his side. Joel’s eyes trailed over to Piper, who leaned against him. She avoided his gaze, but the gentle pressure said more than anything she could muster. Like a domino effect, he felt Ellie rest her head on the other side. There, they sat in silence, embracing each other’s comfort.

Just as fast as their moment started, it ended.

“We should probably get going,” Joel sighed, pushing himself up.

“Yeah,” the girl half-heartedly agreed.

“You know what I’m in the mood for?” Joel announced.

“What?” Ellie asked.

Joel smirked and peered down at her. “Shitty puns.”

A groan erupted from Piper’s mouth. “God no, Joel, why’d you have to-? “

“Oh-ho-ho.” Ellie chuckled, already flipping through the pages of the book. “People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.” Joel winced. “Too soon?”

“No, it’s topical.”

Ellie giggled. “Oh, I love this one.”

“Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks. Why?” She paused, wiggling her brows at Joel and Piper. “Cause they’re meteor.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” Joel exclaimed.

“Fuck you,” Ellie scoffed. “That was actually good.”

“That’s a… That…,” Joel waved his hands in search of words. “That’s a zero outta 10.”

“All right, all right.” Ellie read a new joke. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.”

“That was a three outta 10.”

Ellie shook her head. “Seven, minimum.”

“Uh-uh.” Ellie disagreed.

“I’m sticking with the three,” Piper added from behind the group.

“I’ll give it a five,” Joel settled.

“Five outta 10. Five?” Ellie dramatically gasped.

CLANG!

The trio whirled around. In between Ellie, Joel, and Piper sat a small flash bomb. Joel grabbed onto Ellie’s shoulder, pulling her close. Piper ducked and covered her ears.

As Piper’s head hit the ground, she couldn’t hear anything. She knew she was calling out for Joel and Ellie. It looked like they were saying her name if she squinted hard enough. Her head hurt, and it felt wet. She groaned and fell to her side. Two foggy figures loomed overhead. And then it was black.

꧁_____________꧂

“Is her head okay?” A faint voice tickled Piper’s senses.

Someone was touching her. Piper’s hand clasped around the person. Her eyes whirled open, and then she pounced. She fought until the poor woman lay on the ground. The teen could see the terror oozing from the woman, her hands raised.

“Piper?” A familiar voice commanded. “Piper! Let her go.” Piper tore her gaze off the trembling woman and onto Marlene.

“Marlene?” Realizing she still sat over the woman, Piper pushed herself off. She sent a silent apology, collecting herself. One thing was for sure. Everything hurt, more so than usual. “What happened?” She croaked, rubbing her aching head. Her hand felt sticky. It was covered in a clear ointment mixed with blood. Her blood.

Marlene dismissed the woman, who quickly left the room. “Patrol didn’t know you were coming. You got the worst of it.” The woman pointed to Piper’s head injury.

“Yeah,” Piper scoffed. “I could tell. Where’s Ellie and Joel?”

There was a pause before Marlene answered her. “Ellie’s fine. Been asking about you. Joel’s still unconscious.”

Ellie. The Fireflies. If they were here at the hospital, then… “Can I see Ellie?”

“Piper,” Marlene’s gaze grew avoidant. “All you need to know is that she’s safe.”

It was a bullshit answer. An answer Piper wouldn’t take. “Marlene, where’s my sister?”

Marlene sighed with a look that made Piper fear the answer. “She’s being prepped for surgery…” Piper shuddered, and a gasp left her mouth. She couldn’t look at Marlene. She couldn’t look anywhere. Piper couldn’t do anything as sobs choked their way out.

“You know.” Marlene stood straighter and marched over to Piper. Her eyes glared down at Piper. “Did Ellie-?”

“No,” Piper sniffled. “I…I couldn’t tell her. Not when I had- can I say goodbye?” Marlene shook her head. “Fuck…” Piper whimpered. Tears stung her skin as they trickled from her eyes down her cheeks.

“Piper, I’m sorry-” Marlene tried to comfort her.

“What about Joel?” Piper yelled. She stared up at Marlene. The pools in her eyes reflected the woman’s stern expression. “Can I say goodbye? Please, Marlene. Please.” Marlene didn’t answer her. Piper had to see Joel, she had to–“I’m saving the fucking world, and you won’t let me say goodbye?!”

Marlene took in a deep and steady breath that seemed to last hours. She raised her finger, and in came a Firefly soldier. “Grab her some paper and a pen.” The materials magically appeared. Marlene threw them into Piper’s hands. “Here, you’ll write your goodbye.”

Piper hurriedly placed the papers down and uncapped the pen. “Does Joel know?” She asked.

“Know what?” Marlene’s voice came out harsher than Piper had ever heard it.

“That you’re killing us for the cure.”

There was a deafening silence before Marlene answered. “No.”

“Are you gonna tell him?” Piper asked, tearing her attention away from the letter.

“Just hurry up and write that goodbye,” Marlene hissed.

Piper didn’t need another warning and scrambled to scribble on the papers. Her hands shook so much that Piper worried her last words would be illegible. She inhaled. She exhaled. She calmed herself, but only as much as could be expected from someone about to die. As she wrote, her vision grew sloppier. It was hard to see even with her blind eye. Still, she pushed through. With a trembling hand, she signed the letter. When Marlene snatched it out of her hands, a strangled sob scrambled out.

“Promise me he’ll get it,” Piper begged. “Promise me, Marlene.”

Marlene folded the letter and shoved it into her pocket. “Finish bandaging her up and get her prepped,” she instructed her fireflies. Then, turning on her heel, Marlene stepped out the door.

Behind her, Piper yelled. “Marlene, please! Please promise me. Please!”

꧁_____________꧂

“Welcome to the Fireflies” was the first thing Joel heard once his consciousness returned. Groggy, he pushed himself up to sit opposite Marlene.

“Easy.” Marlene gently spoke. “Ya got hit pretty hard. Patrol didn’t know who you were.”

Joel’s eyes scanned the room. Something was missing. Someone. His girls. “Where’s the girls?”

“Ellie wasn’t hurt,” Marlene began. Her answer relieved Joel, but it was not what he needed to hear. “Not even a scratch. Piper got the short end of the stick. My people are fixing her up now. They’re mostly worried about you.”

“Where are they?” He gruffly asked. His eyes stared down into Marlene’s, who remained calm.

“We lost half our crew crossing the country.” Joel frowned. She didn’t answer him. Why? She refused to answer him. “I had five men whose only job was to protect me. And I still almost got killed. How’d you do it?”

“It was all them,” Joel admitted. “Ellie and Piper fought like hell to get here.”

Marlene shook her head in disbelief. “They would’ve been dead on day one.” Sighing, she leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms. “You are the one person I never wanted to be in debt to. But I owe you. We all owe you.”

“Just take me to them,” Joel pleaded. His voice was soft, and in a tone Marlene had never heard from the man.

“I can’t.” Joel’s face contorted, and his jaw clenched. “Ellie’s being prepped for surgery. Piper soon after.”

“What surgery?” Joel questioned Marlene so slowly it sounded like a growl.

“Our doctor…,” Marlene explained, “he thinks that the Cordyceps in the girls have grown with them since birth.”

His teeth started to grind against the others. His tanned knuckles grew paler by the second. “Why is Ellie in surgery?”

“It produces a kind of chemical messenger. It makes normal Cordyceps think that she’s Cordyceps. It’s why she’s immune. He’s gonna remove it from her, multiply the cells in a lab, produce those chemical messengers… and then we can give it to everyone. He thinks it could be a cure, Joel.”

“A cure,” Joel scoffed. Then he froze.

No. No. No. No. No!

“Cordyceps grow inside the brain,” Joel stated.

Marlene gulped before confirming Joel’s fears. “It does.”

“Find someone else,” Joel gasped.

“There is no one else.” Marlene stood up and held out her hand to Joel. In it were wrinkled papers. He could see dark ink seeping through the thin sheets. “Here, this is for you.”

He snatched them from her hand and flicked them open. His hands gently straightened out any faults caused by Marlene’s mishandling. His breath shuddered, and his body trembled as he began to read.

To Joel:

I’m not really sure when and if you get this, but God, I hope you do. Marlene wouldn’t let me see you; she said you were out. She wouldn’t let me see Ellie either, and I’d rather get out one goodbye than never have said anything at all.

When we started this journey, we were just cargo, and you were our carrier. That’s how it was supposed to be. Then you did something I never thought would happen. You made me trust you. You made me feel safe. You made me feel at home, even when it was the last thing I ever wanted to feel. You reminded me how to live and not just survive.

God…I…there’s so much I want to say, but I can’t. Marlene’s getting impatient. Ellie’s going into surgery, and then I’m next. You came into this thinking we’d walk out, but we won’t. And it’s okay. It’ll be okay, Joel. Maybe now I can save someone. Maybe with me dying, I don’t have to kill anymore.

I just want you to know that when I go, I’m gonna dream of that farm. I’m gonna dream of Ellie and her puns, you playing guitar and yelling at some stupid sheep. Cause that’s my dream. A home with my family. A home with my sister and my dad.

Goodbye Joel Dad

- Piper Williams

With as much care as he could muster, Joel folded the letter and placed it in his breast pocket over his heart. A large tear fell to the floor, and Joel stifled a sob.

Marlene took Joel’s silence as a cue to speak again. “We didn’t tell Ellie. We didn’t cause her any fear; there won’t be any pain. Piper-she knows.”

Joel’s head started shaking. A physical sign of his rejection. He couldn’t let them do this. He wouldn’t lose his girls. Not when he’d just- “No. No, you take me to them. You take me to Ellie and Piper right now!” He stood up, all anger and fury, and lunged for Marlene. Joel was fast, but her men were faster. With a swift kick of the knee, Joel toppled to the floor.

“Please...” Joel cried. You don’t understand.” He kneeled in front of Marlene as if to pray. He needed the girls; he loved them. They were his redemption. “Please.”

“I do. I was there when she was born, Joel.” Marlene glared down at Joel. “I promised her mother that I would save her children. I promised. So I do understand. I’m the only one who understands. I’m sorry. I have no other choice.”

But he did. Joel had a– “I do,” he growled.

“Walk him out to the highway,” Marlene commanded. “Leave him there with his pack. Give him this.” Joel saw the glimmer of Ellie’s switchblade. His baby girl. “He tries anything… shoot him.”

The Fireflies nodded and nudged Joel off the floor with their guns. Joel scowled as Marlene watched him be escorted away. Each step farther away from the room, from his girls, was agony. In the dimly lit hospital hallway, Joel plotted. He was Joel fucking Miller, and he was going to get his girls back. The lights flickered, and Joel saw it. It was a sign reading “pediatric surgery: 6th floor.” The sixth floor. That’s where his girls would be.

“I didn’t hear anyone say, “Stop.” One of the Firefly men shoved Joel along.

“Which way?” Joel mumbled.

“Down the stairs.” They pushed Joel along.

As Joel stumbled down the staircase, he found his feet frozen. He refused to move any farther.

“The fuck are you doin’? Keep walking!” Joel stayed still. He waited. Marlene had only sent two men to escort him out—a mistake. Marlene should have known it would have taken much more to keep Joel away. “I said keep walk–”

Joel brought the heel of his palm into one of the men’s noses. CRACK! Blood poured out of the broken nose. The firefly tumbled to the floor, clutching his injury. Joel saw his chance and grabbed the gun. He cocked it and fired. The second man died. Shot right in the head.

“Where is she?!” Joel demanded, holding the gun to the surviving Firefly's head.

Through all the blood, the man looked up at Joel. “Fuck you.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

BANG! The Firefly fell limp. His radio blared to life.

“Shots fired. Shots fired!”

Joel frowned. They’d all be coming for him now, but he didn’t care. He had to save his girls. Marching up the stairs, Joel began his prowl. Expertly, his gun aimed and fired. The soldiers dropped like flies in the path of Joel’s protective fury.

BANG!

The sound of the gun followed Joel wherever he stalked along the halls of the hospital. Some of the people he came across fought. But like a bear in pursuit of protecting its cubs, they didn’t stand a chance. There was no such thing as mercy for Joel when these very people were out to kill his girls. He was swiftly making his way through the hospital–a trail of bodies in tow.

BANG!

And then silence. His breath stilled as the sign for pediatric surgery came into view. He scoured each room for any sign of his girls. But he found none. Still, Joel trekked. A faint light seeped from beneath a pair of doors up ahead. Quiet beeping sounds echoed louder than the shots from before.

“Do we have enough power?” Someone asked.

Joel pushed the door open with the butt of his gun.

“She’s ready,” a nurse said. Her hands hovered over Ellie.

The young teen’s hair lay long and brushed. All the grim from before had been washed from her body. She looked clean and peaceful as she lay on the surgery table.

“Unhook her,” Joel uttered. The nurses gasped at the sight of the gun, immediately raising their hands.

The surgeon, however, seethed with anger. In his hand, he held a scalpel. The blade glinted over Ellie’s scalp. “How did you get in here?”

Joel carefully watched the blade. “I said unhook her.”

No one except the surgeon made a move. The surgeon surged forward and stood between Ellie and Joel. In his hand, he defensively held the scalpel. “I won’t let you take her.”

BANG!

The surgeon dropped dead. Nurses screamed and cowered.

“Unhook her!” Joel yelled. “Move!”

Quickly, the nurses unhooked Ellie. Silently, they prayed to a god, to anyone to have mercy. The beeping monitor went silent. Blood trickled down Ellie’s arm from where the IV was placed.

“Cover her arm,” Joel commanded. “Fast.”

Within the blink of an eye, one of the nurses had covered the wound.

“Turn around.” Joel watched as the women quickly turned away. Just as fast, Joel lifted Ellie off of the table. She was cold but breathing. Her head flopped against Joel’s shoulder, and he worried. If Ellie was in this state, what about Piper? He didn’t have the arms and the strength to carry both girls out of the hospital. Joel held Ellie tighter. He’d have to do something he never wanted to do. Joel would have to get Ellie safe and then find Piper. He just prayed she’d be fine until he could rescue her.

Elevator doors closed in front of Joel. His arms ached from the unconscious weight of Ellie. He sighed, and Ellie snuggled closer to him. Soon, the silver doors slid open. Joel stepped out into the hospital’s parking garage. If the Fireflies had power, then they’d have cars. Working ones. The low rumble of a car engine drew Joel’s attention. He shuffled over to the vehicle.

CLICK!

“You can’t keep her safe forever,” Marlene taunted. Joel turned around. There stood Marlene with a gun. But it wasn’t pointed at Joel. No. It was pointed at Piper.

“Joel,” Piper sobbed in Marlene’s clutch. Relief flooded her body at the sight of Joel holding Ellie. She was alive. Her sister was alive.

“Piper…” Joel met her dark eyes. “Let her go.” He demanded.

Marlene shook her head. “No. I won’t let you take them, Joel.” Her hand pushed the barrel of the gun deeper into Piper’s head. The girl groaned from the pain.

“Let her go!” Joel yelled.

“Joel!” Piper gasped. “Take Ellie. Take her and let them have me. Save Ellie. Save her.”

Shaking his head, Joel fought back tears. No, he had made it this far. He was going to save them both. He had to save them. “No, Piper. No. I’m gettin’ you both out of here.”

“No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, they’re gonna grow up, Joel,” Marlene scoffed. “And then you’ll die. They’ll leave. Then what?” Marlene cocked her head. “How long till they’re torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders?” Piper whimpered under Marlene’s grip. Her grasp tightened around the teen’s neck, making it hard to breathe. “Because they live in a broken world that you could have saved.”

“Maybe,” Joel agreed. “But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you,” Marlene scolded. “So what would she decide, huh? ‘Cause I think Ellie’d wanna do what’s right. And you know it. It’s not too late. Even now…even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

Joel gazed down at sleeping Ellie and then at Piper. They were his world. Maybe he wouldn’t be saving the world by taking them, but he’d be protecting his. It was selfish. He knew, but Joel deserved to be selfish, and so selfish he chose to be.

“Piper…” Joel muttered. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Piper whimpered.

BANG!

The world thrashed around Piper as the tight hold on her loosened. Marlene groaned. Her body was on the floor as blood flooded from her.

“Joel!” Piper screamed, running to him. Her feet tripped over her hospital gown as she ran. “Joel!” She collapsed at his side, clutching his shoulders. Sobs ransacked her body. Joel leaned his head against hers. It was the best he could offer with his hands full of Ellie.

“I got you,” Joel whispered. “I’ve got you, sweet girl.”

A guttural cough cut through their reunion. Joel’s softened face grew dark as his sight landed on Marlene. It was a pitiful scene. The woman’s hands clawed at the floor over to the discarded weapon. A trail of her blood trickled after her.

“Piper,” Joel calmly said. “Take your sister and put her in the car.” He passed Ellie’s body into Piper’s arms. Momentarily, she buckled under the weight. Regaining herself, Piper limped over to the vehicle. She braced Ellie against the doors before lifting her to lie in the back seat.

Behind, Joel stalked after Marlene.

“No, wait.” Marlene raised her hand. “Wait, wait, wait.” Joel peered down at her. “Please,” she begged. Her breaths had become pants as her body pumped more and more blood onto the concrete. “Let me go.”

“You’d just come after them.” Joel cocked his gun and aimed. “You’d come after my girls.”

꧁_____________꧂

They had left the city far behind. Now, the tall buildings were specks of dust in the wind. Piper sat with her head against the passenger window. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. One thing was for sure: Piper didn’t feel numb. After she danced with death in the smoke of the room, she was almost butchered in; Piper found it hard to feel anything but pain. A part of her only wanted to feel pain. It made everything easier: the guilt of failing Ellie, the guilt of leaving Joel in that basement, the guilt of– Piper hissed. Her nails had dug into the skin around the scar on her thigh. Damn, these hospital gowns for being so thin.

“You okay?” Joel asked, peering over at her.

Piper removed her hand and shrugged. “I’m…” fine. It was the easiest thing to say. She’d said it before, and Joel didn't push. But was it what she wanted to say? “No.” Joel stayed quiet. She was thankful for it. As long as she continued to look out the window, maybe she could trick herself into thinking she wasn’t telling anyone these dark thoughts–that she wasn’t telling anyone the truth. “I don’t think I’ve ever been okay. Ever.”

Getting into a more comfortable position, Piper continued. “I was twelve when I first…when I first killed someone. I thought I could trust him, that he’d keep me safe, keep us safe.” Joel peeked at Ellie through the rearview mirror. “But his safety came with a price. One I couldn’t pay, so I–”

“Piper,” Joel interjected. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“But I do, Joel. I need to. Please?” Joel nodded and remained silent. “I killed him, and then FEDRA decided that if I could kill a man in self-defense, I could kill for them. So I did. That’s all I did for five years.” She stifled a sob. “I couldn’t–mess up, get sick, nothing, or else they’d leave Ellie all alone. It was my punishment. Then, one night, we ended up in the clutches of the Fireflies. They kept us chained in a room until you came along. Next thing I knew, Ellie and I were special cargo to be taken across the country.”

Piper sniffled and then chuckled. “You know when I first met you, I hated you.” She laughed again. “Funny how we ended up here, huh?” Joel gazed over at Piper. Her laughter died down, returning to sniffles. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” Joel replied.

“When you said,” Piper hesitated, “you weren’t afraid of death, that you welcomed it, what did you–what did it feel like?”

Joel sighed. “It felt…easy. Every day after Sarah’s death was filled with pain. It still hasn’t gone away,” Joel turned to give Piper a comforting smile. “But it has stopped hurting.”

Piper nodded, taking in Joel’s words. “When I was trapped in that building, knowing I failed Ellie, that I’d failed you-” Joel desperately wanted to tell her she hadn’t failed. She had survived. They all had. “I wanted to give up. It was easy just to lay down and breathe in the smoke till I–” She looked down at her hands. “But, I didn’t…and some part of me still wishes I did. That’s why I didn’t tell you or Ellie. It was easy to keep quiet and march like a lamb to slaughter. I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I wouldn’t have to feel all this guilt and hate. I wouldn’t have to be a killer. I wouldn’t have to be Piper.”

A warm hand encased Piper’s shoulder. Joel’s fingers rubbed up and down in a soothing manner. “Even if some part of me wanted the easy way out, the others didn’t. I-” Piper took in a shaky breath. “Thank you, Joel. For saving me. For saving Ellie.”

Joel knew that no simple “you’re welcome” would suffice. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Piper and pulled her to his side. “Always,” he whispered. “Always.”

Pulling back, Piper wiped tears and snot away from her face. “Joel?” Her quiet voice questioned.

“Hmm?” He hummed.

“What are you gonna tell Ellie?”

Joel sighed. His hand holding the wheel tightened. “I don’t know, kid. I don’t know.”

As if on cue, Ellie groaned. Her body shifted on the back seat. Piper grew quiet and leaned back up against the window.

“What?” Ellie mumbled.

“It’s all right,” Joel cooed. “You’re with me.” Ellie pushed herself up but immediately toppled back down. “Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.”

“I was with the Fireflies, and then…,” Ellie groggily furrowed her brows. “What drugs?”

“They were runnin’ some tests on you…” Joel trailed off, finding his next words. “And some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you… people that are immune. Dozens of ’em. And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually…They’ve stopped lookin’ for a cure.” Joel heard Piper hold her breath at the lie.

“Where are my clothes?” Ellie wondered in her dazed state.

“Raiders attacked the hospital. I barely got ya outta there. We’ll find you some new ones on the way.”

Ellie laid her head back down, snuggling into the seat. “Were people hurt?”

“Yes,” Joel solemnly said.

“Is Marlene okay?”

Joel gulped. “I’m takin’ us home.” Ellie half-presently nodded before dozing off again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to the young teen.

After Piper was sure her sister was out, she turned to Joel. “Joel?” She asked.

“You should get some rest,” Joel brushed off her inquiry. “You’ve been through a lot.”

Piper scoffed and shook her head. “I’m not tired.”

A knowing smile crept onto Joel’s face. “That’s what they all say, kid.” Piper wasn’t having it. Sighing, Joel compromised. “Just rest your eyes. It’ll be a long drive.”

“Okay…” Piper reluctantly agreed. She sniffled one last time before closing her eyes. The constant rumbling of the car’s tires rolling against the road beneath lulled her to sleep. Her breath slowed, matching the cadence of her younger sister's slow inhales. All the while, Joel drove. Strangely enough, he found himself feeling content. His girls were safe, and they were going home. Home.

꧁_____________꧂

“Well,” Joel’s hands slapped against his thighs as the car hood shut. Steam angrily fled into the air. “She got us close enough. We gotta walk the rest of the way.” He trotted to where the girls sat and leaned against the car's frame. “Probably about a five-hour hike… but we can manage that. Remember?”

“Yeah.” Ellie nodded.

Piper finished rolling up the sleeves of her shirt. Joel had found both her and Ellie new clothes. The hospital gowns weren’t the chosen attire for an apocalyptic world. “Yeah,” Piper chimed.

Joel flashed them a smile, and then they went off. Piper found herself welcoming their journey. She hated to admit that she missed trekking through nature. While driving in a car was nice, easy, and fast, it wasn’t what she was used to. Besides, Piper preferred feeling the ground beneath her own two feet.

“You know,” Joel huffed. The hike was getting to him. “Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time. I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitoes and such. But she was a big climber… or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl… she’d see a big rock and just… pew.” He chuckled as a memory of his daughter appeared in his mind.

Piper nodded her head and playfully nudged Ellie. “Sounds like someone I know.” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Sounds more like you–” Ellie countered.

“Well, you were the one who climbed up a tree and couldn’t climb down.”

“That was–”

Joel snickered at their bickering. “She woulda liked you two.” Piper and Ellie stopped arguing. “Not to say the three of you are the same.” Joel smiled as if he knew some inside joke the girls didn’t. “Definitely different kids.”

“How so?” Ellie wondered, stepping up beside Joel. Piper stood on Joel’s opposite side. Their attention was drawn to Joel.

“Well,” He began, “she was a lot more… I wanna say girly, and I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly.”

“I’m not,” Ellie smirked. “If anything, Piper’s more girly than me.”

Piper wasn’t sure if she should take it as a compliment or an insult. However, responding to an insult was preferably much more fun. “Hey!” She feigned offence.

“Yeah, you’re not,” Joel agreed with Ellie. “She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you two don’t.” Ellie smiled broadly at Piper and winked. Piper rolled her eyes but smiled back. Joel laughed. “But you know why I think she’d like you, Ellie?”

Ellie’s smile fell. “Why?”

“Cause you’re funny,” Joel stated. “I think you would’ve made her laugh. Anyway, I bet you would’ve liked her back.”

“Yeah, bet I would’ve,” Ellie muttered.

“And for Piper,” Joel said, not forgetting the other girl. “Sarah would love to try and make you laugh. And she’d look up to you.”

Piper paused, and a soft smile appeared on her face. “Thanks, Joel. Sarah sounds nice.”

“She was.” Joel concurred. Briefly, he looked down at the cracked watch adorning his wrist. Once he glanced up, he beamed. Ahead stood the faint outline of Jackson. Home. “Not much further now.”

Joel and Piper eagerly continued down the path. Ellie did not.

“Hey, wait.” Joel and Piper whirled around. Ellie’s eyes widened as if she didn’t expect them to respond. “Fuck,” she softly cursed. “Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone.” Joel placed his hands on his hips. His ears listened as Ellie spoke. Meanwhile, Piper grew distantly quiet.

“When I got bit in the mall, I-It wasn’t just Piper and me.” Ellie looked away. Piper could see the tell Ellie tried to conceal. “My best friend was there, and she got bit, too.” Ellie sniffled. Piper felt her own eyes grow watery. Riley. Sweet Riley. “We didn’t know what to do, and she says, “We can just wait it out… be all poetic and just lose our minds together. And then she did. And I had to…” Piper wanted to draw Ellie into a hug, but she knew her sister had more to say. The comfort could always come later. “Her name was Riley… and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam and Henry.”

Joel shook his head. “That’s not on you.”

“I know, but…” Ellie tried to argue, but Joel continued.

“Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope.” Joel peered over at Piper. He wasn’t just saying this to Ellie. It was a message for both of his girls. “You can feel like… like you’ve come to an end… and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’… you find something new to fight for. And maybe that’s not what…”

“Swear to me,” Ellie interjected. “Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.”

Piper looked away. She had never been more interested in her feet. Joel had an expressionless face as he answered her. “I swear.”

After a moment, Ellie spoke. “Okay.”

She had believed him. Piper let out a shaky breath and looked over at Joel. They shared a glance. Their eyes agreed to the lie. It was a necessary one. A lie that they both now concealed.

The rest of the journey to Jackson had been uneventful. Tommy had found them close to Jackson when he was on patrol. The reunion was sweet. Joel hugged his brother before breaking away, allowing Tommy to steal hugs from the girls. They hadn’t been expecting it by how brief and tight the hugs had been, but they had been welcomed embraces.

Maria smiled when they walked back into town. The streets had changed from the snow-covered, Christmas-decorated roads to colorful and lively bustling ones. People discarded their winter gear for lighter clothes. The summer sun and heat crept over the mountains, waiting to pounce. But for now, the air was at a pleasant temperature. As Maria showed them back to the house they had stayed in during their brief stay in Jackson, Piper spotted a familiar head of curls. Charlie. He amicably waved at her. By amicably, Charlie practically jumped where he stood, calling out her name. Piper flushed a deep shade of red and flipped him off. Joel laughed, and Ellie smirked. Her clever eyes darted between the two teens. She had something to tease her sister about.

The sun had begun to set as Joel, Piper, and Ellie settled back into the house. Each crawled out of their rooms after a long nap. Joel was the last to emerge. Age had made his cravings for naps extremely powerful. With a yawn, he pushed open the front door. A wave of deja vu fell over him.

There sat his girls on the porch. Ellie was teasing Piper about the boy they’d seen on the street. Piper rolled her eyes and denied everything, making it hard for Ellie to continue her interrogation. Instead, the young teen pulled out her pun book. Fingers flipped through the pages, landing on a particular joke. Piper dramatically groaned, and Joel realized he had seen this all before.

It was the dream. Joel’s dream. Here they were, his girls safe and sound with a whole life ahead of them. Joel felt a pleasant warmth spread throughout his body. He stood and leaned against the door frame for ages, capturing this moment in his head. The girls had been his redemption–a sinner’s redemption. Now that he had his dream, Joel was content with just living it. This was why he missed that day. This was why he stayed. He, too, deserved a second chance. They all did.

꧁_____________꧂

Thank you all again for your support. If you enjoyed this series please comment and reblog so that more people can embark on this journey with Piper, Ellie and Joel. :)

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tlou-obsessed · 1 month ago

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-Winnie The Pooh

#can I just say that these two make me wanna sob #the evolution of their relationship has me sobbing on the floor #I am crying at that moment in tlou2 #i am literally thinking of not watching to protect my mental health #there is something so beautiful about missing puzzle pieces finding each other and fitting perfectly #joel miller #pedro pascal #tlou #the last of us #joel and ellie #ellie williams #tlou 2 trailer #tlou 2 #bella ramsey

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stromblessed · 2 years ago

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Joel thinks he needs to be the ultimate protector, but doesn't realize how invaluable he is to Ellie as a provider and a nurturer

I keep thinking about how Joel goes through aalllll of that in ep 8, the torturing and the killing and the tracking, thinking he's on the warpath, probably thinking he's either gonna rip some bitches apart right in front of Ellie or simply avenge her -

Just for the end goal of simply being there for Ellie. He doesn't even get there in time to pull her off of David, or to guide her out of the burning restaurant. He's only in time to be someone safe for her to hug and hold onto.

Joel is forever stuck in this place where protection is the one thing Sarah needed from him on outbreak night, that he couldn't give her. On day 1 with Ellie, he defaults to the trauma of failing at being that protector, and throws himself at that FEDRA guard, tells Ellie to be careful, etc.

But he does not provide for her - Marlene provides, for a bit. He definitely doesn't nurture her - Tess does, however briefly and gruffly. Joel thinks he's just there to be a trigger finger and a pair of fists. And he WILL use those things to protect this little girl - the absolute bare minimum that he failed to give to Sarah. To prove he can. That he won't fail like that again... until he does. Over and over again.

But I wonder - does Joel ever think about how he was able to provide for Sarah? Working a blue-collar contractor job to support her as a single parent, give her a home, posters on her wall, cute clothes, money for fixing broken watches and eating eggs for breakfast? Working so hard that he forgets to buy a cake on his own birthday?

Does Joel ever think about how he was able to nurture Sarah? He was emotionally available. He made her smile and laugh. He was a tough man's man who still hugged and held his daughter and talked to her and apologized to her and teased her and carried her in his arms. She could tease him back and scold him and go through his things without fear of him snapping at her or stonewalling her. They watched bad movies and took care of their neighbors together.

I love that Joel eventually taught Ellie to hunt. How to keep watch and be alert and keep herself alive. He probably thought that needing to transfer his skills to Ellie means he's already failed at protecting by default, but he SUCCEEDS at providing! Where so, so many other characters in this show fail!

To Joel, the happy fun times with Ellie - however brief they are, just little bright spots in a few episodes - are probably detours, little distractions he allows himself, but he's there for her again and again. Apologizing to her. Making her smile. Giggling at her stupid jokes. Teasing her. Asking her about herself. Telling her stories. He's not all the way there yet, but he's been there enough that Ellie CHOOSES him. Even when Joel may not be the best choice - the best protector.

And now at the end of ep 8, there's ultimately nothing Joel can do. But he goes through hell - to nurture her, in the end, after Ellie spends weeks protecting him and providing for him. But that nurturing, loving nature is what Ellie needed the most, the one thing Joel thought was worth the least, and I am. Unwell.

#tlou #the last of us #tlou spoilers #joel miller #spoilers ahead for season 2: definitely not thinking about how ellie rejects joel's ultimate act of protection nope not thinking about it #I had one of those dads who thought protection was all he was needed for and then he turned around and served emotional abuse daily #and he couldn't provide in the end either - it's fine between arcane last year and tlou this year my daddy issues are fine they're FINE

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where-our-stories-start · 2 years ago

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#the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #guns cw #found family #joel protecting ellie

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joelswritingmistress · 1 month ago

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Halloween: Chapter 1 (Joel Miller x OC)

Synopsis: Nicole is seeing the man (Joel Miller) who she began house sitting for in Haddonfield. Upon feeling a lingering presence following her beginning on October 30th, Nicole starts to feel uneasy. The name Michael Myers is often thrown around in the town he was supposedly murdered in, but Joel convinces her to let her guard down.

Other reoccurring characters: Ellie, Marlene, Michael Myers, Dr. Loomis

Pairing: Joel x OC Nicole

Warnings: Sexual references, eventual violence, swearing, age gap (20s & 40s)

Nicole couldn't think of it as a coincidence; she couldn't ignore it. Not when the same green station wagon she had seen earlier that day sat dormant by the curb. She had no idea how long it had been parked out in front of the home where she volunteered to house sit. Aside from the man’s beagle she was alone, and an eerie feeling made the hair stand up on the back of her neck when she imagined the intentions of the stranger behind the tinted windows of the strange vehicle.

Paranoia crept in as she sat by the front window under the cover of darkness staring out toward the desolate street.

What did he want? Why was he parked out front?

Questions swirled in Nicole's mind and she felt frozen. The one that spooked her the most was: why? There were a limited number of answers as to why someone would follow a young woman and then park outside of the house where she resided. All of them were disturbing and left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Shit..." Nicole swallowed hard and felt compelled to stay put by the window. A memory of the opening scene from Scream flashed through her mind and she tried her hardest to think rationally.

She glanced over her shoulder toward the corner of the living room and eyed a wooden baseball bat. Without another thought Nicole hurried away from the window to retrieve it and then prepared to sit perched by the window for as long as the car lurked.

Since high school she had been babysitting or house sitting to make money. As a college graduate she hated how that fear of a stranger breaking in had not even remotely subsided. It was surely irrational and unlikely, she knew, though the thought still haunted her at twenty-three years old in the same way it did when she was sixteen. This time, there was valid reasoning for her anxiety. Nicolr closed her eyes for a moment to take a deep breath.

A faint jingling sound made her eyes immediately snap open and she abruptly rose to her feet. Nicole eyed the thin silver handle on the front door as it slowly rocked from side to side.

No... Nicole closed her eyes again for a brief moment and then reopened them. The handle continued to turn with a polite consistency as if not to disturb whoever was inside.

She raised the bat above her shoulder and took a step in the direction of the front door. Realistically Nicole didn't know what she would do if an intruder actually walked in.

It's locked, she reminded herself though the notion didn't make her feel any better. Someone was attempting to slip quietly into the house uninvited.

When a loud click sounded off she almost thought she was in the midst of a nightmare. Inch by inch the door creaked open and all she could do was wait.

Nicole felt the thud of her heartbeat in her ears and then the worst thing she could imagine happened.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Her body froze. A wave of panic reddened her face and left a paralyzing tightness in her chest just as the door eased open.

"Hello..." a familiar, scratchy voice greeted.

Nicole stared straight ahead, her body still aching with fear as a man entered the home. He glanced over to where she stood like a statue gripping the bat with white knuckles and a smile spread over his face in Cheshire Cat-like fashion.

"Joel?" A warmth spread through her limbs and her body relaxed. Nicole's hands ached as she loosened her grip on the wooden handle.

"What the hell are you doing honey?" He let out a chuckle and gently closed the door behind him, securing the lock.

"I thought..." she swallowed hard and let her body completely relax. "I thought you were away again tonight... that's why I'm watching your dog."

Joel continued to grin and reached a hand down, accepting the bat from hers and ran his other hand over the trim beard he sported. All the fear she had been feeling died down another notch when he kicked off his shoes. “I was going to stay up at that conference a second night but I wanted to.. sleep in my own bed.” He added, “Thought I’d surprise you.”

She couldn't help but smirk at him a bit, though needed to voice her concerns. "I didn't see you pull up. Someone... someone's parked outside.”

Joel squinted his eyes and then pulled the curtains back. His eyes shifted from side to side as he scanned the street in front of the house. "Where?" He asked.

Nicole joined him by the window and felt the conflicting emotions of relief and fear when she saw that the station wagon had disappeared.

"It... it was right there," she pointed with her index finger. "A green station wagon. I saw it earlier too. You don't think-"

Joel leaned in and kissed her, pulling her toward him by the cheek as he cupped the side of her face with one hand.

Nicole kissed him back for a moment until his grin separated their lips. "Joel you don't think... could someone be following me... or us?"

He laughed out loud and tapped under her chin with his first two fingers. "That's movie shit honey." Joel looked back out the window and then drew the curtain back into place. He smiled wide again, highlighting a set of dimples beneath his perfectly trimmed facial hair. "Probably someone who was visiting a neighbor or something."

Nicole took a deep breath and then gave a subtle nod.

"Look if this is too much-" he began but she immediately cut him off.

"It's not." Nicole shook her head and then subconsciously reached for the string on his hoodie that hung against his chest. She toyed with it a moment and then finally managed a smile. "I... sometimes being alone in someone else's house like this just freaks me out, I guess."

Joel snaked his fingers through the belt loops on her jeans and guided her back to him, connecting their lips again. "Well, you're not alone anymore."

Nicole felt desire replacing the anxiousness and fear that had paralyzed her body a moment before and melted against him. She disregarded her feelings of paranoia and immediately switched gears when his arms were around her.

Joel sat back on the couch and reached for both of her hands. He gave a gentle tug, prompting Nicole to sit on his lap as they continued to make out on the couch.

Nicole sighed into a long kiss and felt him do the same. “I'm glad you're home early.”

"Mmm… I missed you." He whispered against her lips.

Nicole eagerly slipped her tongue back into his mouth, moaning as she did and let out a deep breath through her nose as they parted.

She unbuttoned her jeans and then shimmied them down, maintaining eye contact with Joel a she purposely took her time. When his Adam's apple moved up and down in his throat she couldn't help but grin.

"Mmm..." he gave a small smile back and unfastened his belt. “Do you still want to spend the night herr?”

Nicole straddled him before he could remove his pants and kissed him hard again.

Joel leaned his head back against the couch cushion. "You didn't answer my question."

"I’d love to,” Nicole replied. She looked down, taking the top button on his pants between her thumb and index finger before regaining eye contact as she unclasped it.

The sound of breaking glass by the front door made both of them jump and Nicole put her hand over her chest.

"What was that?" She looked at Joel, who was now immediately on guard.

"Stay here." He rose to his feet and listened intently as he made his way slowly toward the front door.

Nicole swallowed hard, not feeling quite as crazy about the station wagon now as she watched Joel ease his way across the room. When he opened the front door her heart rate picked up.

Joel looked up at the light fixture that hung by the door and pressed his eyebrows together angrily when he saw the bulb had been shattered and the small lighting display hung crooked against the house.

"Fucking kids," he mumbled to himself.

"What is it?" Nicole asked, not masking the fear in her voice. She pulled a blanket over her lap.

Joel shouted aloud. "Come back again and you’ll fuckin’ sorry!”

"Joel..."

He slammed the door and locked it before switching his gaze back to Nicole. "I used to love mischief night as a kid. Now I fucking hate it."

"What happened?"

"Someone shattered the light bulb and bailed." He made his way back to her and placed his hands on the back of the couch behind where she sat, capturing her lips again as he bent down to kiss her.

Nicole kissed him back for a second and then forced him to look her in the eye. "I have a bad feeling. That car-"

"It's kids, honey.. classic mischief night shit." Joel kissed her again, this time drawing his lips down her neck. "Besides... I’m confident I can tune up anyone who's stupid enough to try to break in here." He smiled to try easing her mind and then removed the blanket from her lap. Joel repositioned his lips so they hung by her ear and spoke quietly, "Take the rest of your clothes off.”

Nicole took a breath and smiled, closing her eyes when he began to kiss her neck again. Before she could respond there was a pounding knock at the front door.

"Mother fucker..." Joel pushed away from her angrily and stormed toward the front door. Nicole held her breath as he flung it open.

Nicole's heart was pounding in the seconds leading up to the big reveal of who was on the other side of the door. When Joel gave a hearty laugh she let her guard down while laying back under the blanket in her half-dressed attire.

"Marlene." His voice was accompanied by a sigh. "You come here because you and the rest of the Haddonfield police caught the little prick who just smashed my light up?"

"Actually..." she cleared her throat and paused. "Can we come inside for a minute?"

Joel gave a subtle glance over to Nicole and then headed out the front door. "Why don't I come out?”

He closed the door behind him and headed onto the front porch. A smile spread across his face when he saw Marlene’s surrogate daughter, Ellie Williams, standing off to the side eyeing the ground.

"Well, what do we have here?" Joel asked, just slightly amused. He half-smirked to himself as Ellie looked up at him and then turned back to Marlene. "Don't tell me this one’s responsible for this." Joel motioned to the broken light without looking at it.

Marlene glanced at Ellie for a moment, giving a look of utmost disapproval. "She’s going to replace it for you,” adding, "And now she's not going out tomorrow night for Halloween."

"Oh, what the hell? Come on!" Ellie began but Marlene immediately silenced her.

"He can press charges for damaged property," she went on. "And that means I arrest you."

"Whoa easy there chief." Joel smiled wide again. "I'm not going to be the guy who makes a mother arrest her daughter over some crummy light fixture." He glanced at Ellie. "I did dumb shit like this when I was a teenager too, kid. But, damn, are you fucking up my night."

“Marlene isn't my mom,” Ellie corrected.

"I'll send her by tomorrow with the replacement," Marlene promised.

Joel eyed the broken light and tapped it with his fingers. "Home Depot, forty bucks. Don't sweat it." He nodded toward Ellie. "Next time you do shit like this don't get caught.”

Ellie almost flashed a grin but she fought it off and then cleared her throat. "We'll be by tomorrow." She looked at her caretaker.

"You'll be by tomorrow," Marlene corrected.

"Does that mean I get the car?"

Joel let out a louder laugh before motioning to Marlene. "This kid is funny as shit, you know that?"

"She'll be by tomorrow," Marlene repeated, dryly.

Joel continued to get a minor kick out of the situation and smiled wide again. "Don't get caught sneaking out tomorrow night," he said to Ellie. "I know you're going to try." Joel raised his eyebrows at Marlene. "Happy Halloween. Lights out so don't come knocking again until tomorrow night." He laughed at himself and then reopened the door, returning his attention to Ellie. "Night kid."

Joel re-entered the house as Marlene pulled Ellie with her off the porch toward her squad car. He laughed to himself again and locked the door before returning his attention to Nicole.

"I told you it was kids." He raised his eyebrows. "And the sheriff's kid no less."

She laughed, feeling a bout of relief. "I heard."

Joel approached her again and kissed her once on the lips before sitting beside her on the couch. "Now will you let your fuckin' guard down honey?"

Nicole smiled when he snaked a hand beneath the blanket. "Do you want to go down the hall?" She asked him.

Joel shoved his pants down so they fell around his ankles and pulled her back on top of him where he sat so they were face to face. "I think we're doing fine right here."

Nicole wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, smiling as he chuckled and pulled her lips back to his. She let the station wagon fade to the back of her mind as she indulged in her desires for Joel. After the sophomoric disturbance that evening, she was convinced the perceived threats were all nonsense. Life was good.

CLICK HERE FOR NEXT CHAPTER

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elliespuns · 11 months ago

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[Ellie and her guy friend, in her bedroom] Ellie: YOU PUT IT IN THE WRONG HOLE YOU IDIOT- Joel: *kicking down the door* now what in the FUCK did I just hear?! Ellie: Not much, he just plugged the laptop charger into the headphone jack

#the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #ellie and joel #joellie #protective joel #the last of us part 2 #tlou part 2 #tlou incorrect quotes

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year ago

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Slow Hands | Chapter 6

“you're like a mirror, reflecting me”

A/N: it’s a double chapter weekend bby! Although, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing regarding the pain I’m about to cause. But hey, not everything can be butterflies and rainbows all the time, right? This chapter will take your emotions for a spin. There is violence and triggering themes. Tread carefully.

Summary: your first date in over twenty years doesn’t go as planned.

~word count: 5.2k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: angst, trauma responses, self-deprecating thoughts triggered by trauma, negative body image, trauma triggers, mentions of bodily scars, mild violence, swearing, confrontations, use of one homophobic swear from an asshat (dyke) the word rape is mentioned, panic attack, unwanted attention, hurt feelings, protective! Joel, feral! Darkish! Joel, Soft! Joel, flirting, internal thoughts, slow burn, emotional development, deep conversation, pet names, no age gap, readers nickname is beanie (coffee beans) reader has no physical descriptions (skin color/body description) +18 minors dni! Please let me know if I missed any warnings. I wanted to included the two words that can be triggering ahead of time. Please heed the warnings.

main masterlist series masterlist playlist

The last time you had ever gone on a date was a week before outbreak day. You had met the guy in line at your local grocery store and he had swooped in when you nearly dropped an entire carton of milk. That’s where you gained your catchphrase; fiddlesticks. He had taken you to a quiet cozy Italian restaurant and you remember your smile being infectious. It had been years since you dated anyone, and this guy was giving you all those warm fuzzy feelings that you so deeply yearned for. Your second date was set for September 26, 2003. You often wondered during the oddest and sudden moments if he had survived. He had called you an hour before the date informing you that he might be late because his mother was feeling ill and he was going to go check up on her. That was the last time you ever heard from him.

Now you were in your bathroom in Jackson with the comforting glow of a flickering candle on the countertop. The temperature of the shower was scalding and created a thick sheet of steam that enveloped your mirror in a dewy cloak. As the condensation began to slowly dissipate you found yourself staring into the void of your mirror. You used one hand to hold the towel wrapped around your body in place while you used your other hand to apply a bit of homemade moisturizer to your skin. A year ago you had come to Maria with the idea of creating some self-care products for the women of Jackson. From moisturizer to face wash and homemade candles. Only a handful of the women came to your home to sample the products. In the moment it had stung your heart like a thousand needles that only a few people, including Maria and Dina showed up. You just wanted to do something nice for the community. So much for trying.

You have to take the towel off eventually you know..

That inner voice that plagued your brain was fully awake now and ready to onslaught an attack on your already sensitive emotional state. You hated seeing your skin. You hated seeing all of your scars. Your body was littered in them, and while they were marks showing that you were a survivor, you still felt bile rise in your throat every time you had to look at them.

Take the towel off.

I don’t want to.

Take it off.

Joel will think you're hideous when he sees your scars.

No, he won’t. Joel isn’t like that.

No? Are you sure?

You’re ugly.

An unfinished hack job.

Stop. Please.

Please.

“Please fucking stop.” You nearly whimpered as you stared back at your broken reflection. The towel dropped from your grip and you immediately clung to the porcelain sink. Your knuckles ached from how hard you were gripping the edges of the sink.

An ugly, worthless, waste of goddamn space and air.

Tears began to freely fall as you forced yourself to look at the scars that littered your body like a torn, shredded canvas. As soon as your fingertips lightly brushed the jagged scar that curved under the swell of your left breast, you fell back into the wall, sinking down with a gut-wrenching sob that shattered you to the core.

You weren’t sure how many hours had passed but it must have been a couple hours because you could faintly hear someone knocking on your front door. Joel did say he would walk with you to The Tipsy Bison at 8pm. Had you really been sitting on the floor, naked and trembling for that long?

In a haste you scrambled to your feet despite your knees feeling like wobbling jello. You snatched the towel up from the ground and quickly wrapped it back around yourself. You dressed your body in a fury as you struggled to pull a pair of jeans over your damp thighs. You threw on whatever clean t-shirt you had along with a flannel. You paused at the mouth of your closet, staring at a dress that Maria had gifted to you during your first Christmas in Jackson. It was so beautiful, delicate, and dainty. You dreamed of having the confidence to wear it one day. It was too pretty to be collecting dust like this. Your fingers brushed across the soft material with a heavy sigh. Maybe one day, but that day was not today.

fiddlesticks.

Joel was occupying himself outside on your porch while he waited for you. He went from pacing the length of the porch, to sitting on one of the steps with his hands resting between his thighs. He went the extra mile to actually style his hair and wear a shirt that wasn’t completely faded. As much as he denied that this was in fact a date, he knew in his heart that it was, and he wanted to look his absolute best for you. He felt embarrassed with how fast he rose to his feet when he heard the lock to your front door click open. He had a small bouquet of wildflowers clutched gently in his hand. Maria had helped him pick them and use a bit of twine to hold them together.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as his gaze landed upon your frame leaning in the open doorway.

Wow, he thought silently to himself.

She is so beautiful.

“Hey, I hope I didn’t rush ya or anythin.’ I didn’t wanna be late either, although time doesn’t really exist anymore, huh?” He stammered as his palms began to sweat. “You–look beautiful. I hope that’s not too straightforward, but what kinda gentleman would I be if I didn’t compliment ya. Sorry, i’m ramblin’ off the fuckin’ walls.” He shook his head to the side with a nervous chuckle. “Brought these for ya. Maria helped me pick ‘em. Tried to be careful n’not smash ‘em.”

You almost felt a sense of relief over the realization that Joel was just as nervous as you were. He looked like he was about to combust as he held the bouquet of flowers towards you.

“Joel, you didn’t rush me. I just..lost track of time.” You softly spoke with a reassuring smile as you gently removed the bouquet from his grasp. “Thank you, you don’t clean up so bad either. Did you do something different with your hair? I like it. These are beautiful.” You brought the flowers up to your face as you inhaled their sweet floral scent.

Joel could feel the heat rise to his cheeks as he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. “Yeah, I uh–jus’ wanted to look nice for the occasion. The Tipsy Bison is quite the high end establishment y’know.” He teased. It felt nice to crack a joke through his brewing nerves.

“Oh? Well, I hope I am dressed for the occasion. Let me just go put these in some water and then we can head out.”

“Darlin.’” He breathed softly like the gentle warm breeze, “You are most definitely dressed for the occasion.”

You mustered up a convincing smile before quietly slipping behind the door to the kitchen. You grabbed a spare vase from the cabinet and filled it up with a bit of water before gently placing the bouquet inside the vase. You left it on the center of the counter before you met Joel outside on the porch once more. After locking your door, he had offered you his elbow which you gratefully took. Your hand gently wrapped around his bare bicep as you walked down the steps together. The sun had just begun to set as the buzzards sang their tune, and the fireflies twinkled luminously, dancing on either side of your heads.

Joel was counting the amount of steps to the Tipsy Bison silently inside of his mind while you were counting out-loud all of the fireflies that you could see.

The bar was rowdy, but that was expected. It was the one establishment in Jackson where people could let their hair down and have fun. It was a slice of normalcy that both the young and old could enjoy.

Joel could sense your hesitation as he went to reach for the heavy-set door handle. He turned to you with a gentle expression on his weathered features. “Hey, we ain’t gotta stay for long, okay? S’okay with me. If you’re not havin’ a good time, we can leave.” He murmured. Joel wanted to make sure that you were aware that he wouldn’t be offended if you did want to leave. He just wanted you to feel comfortable and most importantly, safe.”

You responded by gently squeezing his bicep as you looked over at him. “Joel, thank you, but I'll be alright. Let's just go in and have a good time, okay? You still owe me that dance.” Your voice floated sweetly to his ears like a song.

“Don’t think I've gone and forgotten that darlin.’ I’m very much lookin’ forward to it.” He grinned.

Me too.

His hand grasped around the handle as he pushed it open, allowing you to step inside first before he followed suit behind you. You could feel the pads of his fingertips brush across your covered lower back as he maneuvered you past a group of people. His close proximity was nearly intoxicating your senses as you got a proper inducing whiff of his scent. Pine, gunsmoke, and soap with a hint of..cologne? He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to look nice for the occasion.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in!” Tommy remarked from behind the bar as he slipped past one of the patrol guys. He hugged his brother first, giving him a light clap on the shoulder before he turned to you. “Ain’t you lookin’ like such a peach this evenin’ Beanie. Can I getcha guys somethin’ to drink?”

Joel hugged his brother back with a light slap to his back before he pulled back one of the bar stools for you. “I’ll jus’ take a beer, and for you darlin?’ Y’want anythin?’” Joel asked you as you quietly thanked him for pulling the stool out before you sat down.

“I’ll have a beer as well.”

“You betcha. Two beers comin’ right up!” Tommy spoke an octave louder so he could hear over the music and chatter.

Two full, nearly overflowing glasses of beer were placed in front of you and Joel as he took the unoccupied seat beside you. He lifted his glass towards yours, gently clinking them together before he brought his lips to the rim of the glass and took a sip.

You mirrored his actions before setting the glass down in front of you. The beer was decent, better than you had expected it to taste. Then again, did anyone really ever drink beer for the taste? You were more of a wine person yourself. “So, this is the infamous Tipsy Bison?” You mused as you looked over at Joel as he set his glass down.

“Yep, she ain’t much, but it’s nice t’see people get together and have fun. A taste of normalcy, y’know? How’s the beer tastin?’”

“Definitely a taste of normalcy. It’s actually..pretty good? I wasn’t a big beer person before the outbreak, but maybe this is me turning over a new leaf?” You shrugged as you glanced up at him over the rim of your glass.

“Tommy perfected the recipe for it pretty well. The whiskey ain’t too shabby either. Glad that you’re enjoyin’ it darlin.’” He nodded in your direction as he took another sip from his glass. He leaned in close then so that it would be easier for you to hear him. “So, while I was out on patrol today, I finally wrote a letter to Tess. Ripped the bandaid off and everythin.’”

“Joel, that’s wonderful. How do you feel after writing it? Does it feel like there’s a weight that has been lifted from your shoulders?” He had your full and undivided attention as you gently rested your palm on the top of his hand for a gesture of comfort.

“I feel..better? Like I ain’t carryin’ all this heavy burden with me. I poured my heart out on the paper, just like ya told me to. It was hard. Like, really fuckin’ hard. I felt like I was forgivin’ myself in the process, n’lettin’ her go. That’s the main reason why I wanted ya to accompany me tonight. I was seekin’ some comfort.” He admitted softly as his eyes glanced down to where your hand rested upon his.

“Of course it was hard, it’s never easy to be vulnerable like that. I’m really proud of you for takin’ that step, Joel.” You softly responded with a small lopsided smile. “Well, you know I'm here for you regardless of the circumstances. I have to thank you.”

“For what?” He was leaned in so close now, you could nearly feel his warm breath fanning your cheeks.

“For encouraging me to go out and have a good time. I wanted to say no to your offer earlier. I was thinking of every possible way that I could get out of having to socialize like this. Joel, you’re that extra push that I didn’t realize I really fucking needed.” It wasn’t easy for you to be vulnerable like this either. You were practically throwing your heart into Joel’s weathered palms, hoping that he would hold it tenderly. There was that nagging voice trying to convince you that this was all good to be true. It poked and prodded at you, but for the first time in a long-time, you drowned the voice out.

“You ain’t gotta thank me for that darlin.’ I’ve encouraged you yeah, but at the end of the day, you’re in control of your own actions, ain’t ya? Let's make a toast to you, Beanie. Undeniably the most beautiful woman in this whole goddamn town, with a heart made of pure fuckin’ gold. I’m so happy that you exist, darlin.’ You make my life jus’ a little bit brighter.”

His eyes were twinkling dazzingly under the warm glow of the dangling fairy lights. He had no idea just how terribly you needed to hear that.

He was so happy that you exist.

You made his life brighter.

You did that.

You threw your arms around his neck gently, hugging him so tightly he felt like you were stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His arms were looping around your waist, hands splayed out across your back as he hugged you back. He got a whiff of your sweet syrupy fragrance. You smelled of saccharine peaches and honey. You smelled of home.

I could kiss him right now. I could press my lips to his and pretend that every breath that I take, I feel like I'm dying. If I kiss him now, maybe breathing won’t feel like a chore. Maybe then I'll be okay. Maybe the voices will stop, and the curtain will fall. If I kiss him now, maybe everything will fall into place. You thought to yourself as you felt the wiry patches of his beard gently scrape across your cheek as his grip around you tightened.

If I kiss her now..everything changes. If I kiss her, that means I have to keep my promise to do better. If I kiss her now, my thoughts will be consumed with her. If I kiss her now, I'll always protect her. I’ll keep her safe. If I kiss her now, I won’t be able to stop.

His eyes fluttered shut as the sounds of laughter and chatter were drowned out by his thoughts. He pressed the faintest kiss to the side of your head, just nearly grazing your temple before he slowly pulled away. You both were looking at each other like you were the only two people in the room.

He gestured towards the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the bar with a tilt of his chin. “Still wanna have that dance with me?” He rasped softly.

You were already reaching for his hand once more as you slipped off the stool. “Show me your moves, Texas.” You shot him a bold, mildly flirtatious wink as you pulled him to the dance floor. Some country folk song was being played by the live band made up of 3 men and 1 woman. You didn’t know the words to the song, but that didn’t matter. Not when Joel was delicately holding hand in his and twirling you playfully. His eyes crinkled in the corners like creases on a well-loved book. His dimples were even peeking through and making an appearance.

You both made one another feel effortlessly young again.

By the fifth song, your feet were beginning to ache and you desperately needed to pee, so Joel gently released you from his grip as he was left to his own devices. He finished off his beer when he noticed Ellie and Dina slowly swaying together. From where he was standing, he could see his kiddo blush under the fairylights as Dina whispered something in her ear. When Dina kissed Ellie for the first time, his heart felt warm. Ellie and him might not be on the best of terms, but he just wanted to see her happy and loved. It all came to a crashing halt when Seth intervened on their moment with a harsh hateful tongue.

“Jus’ what this town needs, another loud mouth dyke.” The older man spat with disgust.

Ellie had whipped around in a fury, storming right up to Seth with her finger pointed at his chest in an accusing manner. “The fuck did you just say?”

Dina was already stepping in front of her, trying to talk her down when Joel sprung into action. He couldn’t help it. His blood was absolutely boiling as he shoved Seth roughly. “Get the hell outta here. Don’t you fuckin’ talk to my kid like that. Y’hear me?!” Joel wasn’t fucking around, not in the slighest.

“Y’get your hands off me!” Seth spat back as he stumbled from the force of Joel shoving him. Maria ultimately had to step in between the two of them as she led Seth outside to cool it off.

Joel’s fists were clenched tightly at his sides and his jaw was as sharp as glass. His face softened when his gaze landed upon Dina and Ellie as he approached. “Y’alright kiddo?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ellie hissed as she faced him with a disappointed look etched across her face.

Joel struggled to hold his composure as Ellie’s words stung like a poisoned blade piercing his gut. “He had no right. He had no fuckin’ right Ellie.” He tried to reason with her.

“And you do?!” Ellie responded exasperatedly as Dina was trying yet again to pull her away from the confrontation. “I don’t need your fuckin’ help, Joel.” Ellie knew her words were harsh, and she knew they would hurt him, but she was exhausted and frustrated that he lied to her for so long.

Joel’s face fell as he slowly looked around the bar to find faces staring back at him. He cleared his throat as he slowly backed off, “right.” He mumbled quietly.

He wasn’t able to mourn his hurt feelings for very long when he heard a scream. Not just any scream, your scream. A frightened, blood curdling scream that rattled his bones and sent hot blood rushing through his veins as he took off towards the bathrooms.

His pulse rose to a high level as he shoved open the women’s bathroom door in a haste. The last thing he expected was to find you violently thrashing on the ground while Tommy was desperately trying to calm you down.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” You cried out desperately as you clawed at Tommy’s arms.

DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!” You wailed as Tommy was gently yet firmly holding your wrist in his grasp.

“BEANIE!” Tommy yelled equally as desperate. “It’s me. It’s Tommy. You’re safe–”

Joel was on his knees in an instant as he physically pushed his brother out of the way, forcing Tommy to release his grip on your wrists as you scrambled back towards the sinks, fear laced in your irises as you tried to tuck yourself into the corner.

“Tommy, what the fuck happened?!” Joel whispered harshly. He didn’t want to yell and freak you out any further than you already were. He knew that he needed to remain calm for your sake.

“Fuck if I know Joel! I heard her screamin’ and came in here and she was just thrashing on the ground. She was mumblin’ to herself about someone touchin’ her.” Tommy responded with a harsh breath as he raked his fingers through his hair.

“Who touched her, Tommy.” Joel’s voice dropped an octave. He sounded calm, and menacing all at once. His pupils were already turning a shade darker as his jaw clenched so tightly, Tommy was afraid it would break.

“She said that Lucas stopped her on the way to the bathroom. They were chatting and when she tried to leave, he–”

“He what. What the fuck did he do to her Tommy.” His face trembled with burning rage as he struggled to keep his yelling at bay.

“He grabbed her. I don’t know if it was in a suggestive way or what. All I know is she flipped out after the fact and then this is how I found her.”

Joel released a shuddered breath as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment. His nostrils flared as he exhaled. He could feel the adrenaline pumping in his veins already as he stood back up. His heart shattered when he saw your entire body facing away from him as he quietly and hesitantly approached.

You heard the creak in his knees as he crouched down a few feet away from you.

“Beanie, hey. Honey, it’s Joel. Can you..look at me please darlin?’” His tone was lengths softer than it previously was with Tommy. He made no attempt to try and touch you in your vulnerable state.

You slowly turned your chin over your shoulder, struggling to make eye contact with him as your eyes nervously darted around the room. You were desperately trying to find something to focus on in an attempt to ground yourself.

“Beanie, focus on me honey. You’re okay. You’re safe now. It’s jus’ me and Tommy in here. No one else is comin’ in, okay? I promise.” He murmured reassuringly.

When your gaze finally landed upon him, his heart shattered right down the middle. Splintered off into a million tiny fucking pieces. You looked terrified.

“Please don’t touch me, Joel.” You croaked out above a whisper.

“I ain’t gonna touch you without your permission Beanie. You have my word.” His eyes stayed locked on yours in a softened look as he waited for you to give him permission to approach further.

When I get my hands on this motherfucker, I'm gonna kill him. Gonna make him wish he was never born.

A total of ten minutes had passed by before you were slowly and hesitantly scooting from your makeshift hiding spot between the sinks. Your face was puffy and blotchy with tears as you reached for Joel’s hands. “I’m–I'm sorry. I–I didn’t mean to cause such a scene.” You mumbled as he gently grasped your hands in his.

“Beanie, you did nothin’ wrong at all, honey. This is not your fault.” Joel was careful with his word choice.

“He didn’t–he didn’t even–we were just talking and–” fresh tears were beginning to brew along your waterline as you struggled to form a coherent sentence.

Joel released your hands for a brief moment before you felt his skin make contact with yours once more. His calloused palms came to gently rest around your cheeks as he held your face in his hands so delicately. “You listen to me, alright? I don’t care if y’all were jus’ talkin.’ Hell, I don’t care if y’all were flirtin.’ He had no right to touch you Beanie. No right at all. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances were, he put his hands on ya, and that ain’t right.” He whispered firmly as you leaned into his soft touch subconsciously. “I need you..to stay in here with Tommy, okay? He’s gonna take care of ya for a minute and i’ll be right back, okay? I’ll be right back for ya baby.”

Baby.

He pressed a featherlight kiss to your temple before he slowly dropped his hands from your face as he stood up. Tommy placed his hand along his shoulder to try and stop him. Tommy knew his brother well enough to know what he was about to go do. As a mediator, he couldn’t let that happen.

“Joel..” Tommy warned him under his breath as he tightened his grip around his shoulder.

“Don’t Tommy. Don’t fuckin’ tell me what to do. I need you to get her a glass of water, and then just sit here with her. Don’t leave her alone, y’hear me? I will go take care of this.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a demand from the older Miller brother.

“Joel, y’know I can’t let you go’n do that.” Tommy sighed.

“Don’t care. Goin’ to do it anyway.” Joel bit back as he yanked his shoulder from his brother's grip and slipped past the bathroom door that was left ajar.

Most of the bar-goers had gone home for the evening, including Dina and Ellie. The patrol guys were still out, and Joel was seeing red when he saw Lucas laughing with Cody and the rest of the guys. His footsteps were heavy along the wooden floors as he approached. He loomed over the table as his calloused hands came to rest along the back of the chair Lucas was presently sitting in. “Get the fuck up.” Joel hissed behind him.

“Joel? What the hell man, what’s the problem?” Lucas craned his head upwards towards the older man.

“I said, GET THE FUCK UP!” Joel’s voice boomed as Lucas’s face fell.

“Hey man, no need for a’that–” He was caught off guard when Joel yanked him up from the lapels of his jacket. “When I fuckin’ tell you to do somethin’, you do it. You don’t fuckin’ question my orders ever. Y’hear me boy?!” his voice was laced with venom as he dragged the younger man away from the table.

“Joel, get the fuck off of me! What the hell is the meanin’ of this?!” Lucas barked back as he was dragged out the door and into the alley. His shoulder ached painfully when Joel shoved him with all of his force against the stone wall.

“Y’fuckin’ touch her?! HUH?! Answer me!” Joel demanded as he yanked him by his jacket once more.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT JOEL!” Lucas bit back as he attempted to push Joel off of him. Despite the older man's age, he still overpowered Lucas without breaking a sweat as he flipped him around with his arms painfully twisted behind his back, and the side of his face scraping against the wall, drawing beads of blood to the wounded surface.

“Don’t make me fuckin’ ask you again. Did you fuckin’ touch Beanie?!” He growled as he twisted his arms further. “Fuckin’ answer me, Lucas!”

“Are you fuckin’ insinuatin’ that I raped her?! For fuck sakes Joel! I grabbed her fuckin’ arm and she flipped! That’s all I did!” He cried out as he thrashed against the wall. “That’s all I did man, I swear!” He pleaded.

“Y’grabbed her arm?! That’s it?!” Joel bellowed threateningly.

“I swear, that’s all I did man! She was walkin’ away and I grabbed her arm to tell ‘er that she looked nice, and she freaked out! She’s fuckin–” His voice was caught in his throat when Joel had twisted his right wrist at such an unnatural angle, the bone had snapped from the pressure and sent the younger man buckling over in pain as he sank down into the wall.

“You never fuckin’ lay your hands on her again. Y’hear me?! Fuckin’ touch her again, and i’ll break the other one.” Joel hissed as he grabbed ahold of the back of his head and yanked it harshly. “Y’touch her again, and i'll kill you with my bare hands. Do I make myself clear?” He growled against the younger man’s ear before releasing his head with a firm shove forward. “Go the fuck home before I change my mind.” He spat with disgust.

Lucas was scrambling to his feet in a hurry as he cradled his broken wrist in his good hand. He took one look at Joel before he shoved past him.

Joel waited until he could no longer see his shadowy silhouette in the distance before he returned to the bar. Inside he found you sitting on one of the stools with a cup of water held in your trembling hands, and a light blanket resting along your shoulders. Maria was on your left, and Tommy was on your right.

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe.” Joel announced as he approached with his hand outstretched towards you.

You slowly lifted your chin upwards to look at him. Your lower lip wobbled as you slowly slipped off the stool and placed your clammy palm in his. If only you had known what he had just done to Lucas in the alley minutes ago. Would you be afraid?

Joel acknowledged Tommy and Maria with a tight nod as he laced his fingers through yours. He whispered softly to you that everything was going to be okay, but you didn’t hear him.

The walk back to your home was in dead silence sans the crickets chirping and the leaves along the tree branches gently swaying in the breeze. You hadn’t spoken a single word as Joel gently sat you down on the couch. He made you a cup of tea that he tirelessly tried to coax you to drink, but you wouldn’t budge. You were closing in on yourself faster than he could keep up.

He is now sitting alongside you, playing with his fingers nervously. When you finally spoke, he could barely detect your voice from how soft and timid you sounded. His face fell for the third time that night from the words you uttered.

“Please leave, Joel.” Your voice cracked as your throat was rubbed raw from how hard you had been screaming.

“Beanie..” He softly pleaded with you.

“Joel, please. I need you to leave.” You whispered.

The couch creaked from his weight lifting from the cushions. He didn’t have much fight left in him after the night's events. What was supposed to be an evening filled with fun, drastically changed in a blink of an eye. He respected your wishes as his boots padded softly to the front door. He paused as he pushed down on the door handle, praying that you’d change your mind and ask him to stay. You didn’t, so he left.

He was greeted to an empty home. No lights on. No shitty puns. No Ellie. No you.

He cried himself to ruin in the shower with the water beating down on his back like a million ice shards. His sobs wrecked through his entire being as the weight of his actions crushed into his spine like a tumultuous wave. He had failed once again.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤎

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