#jody mash rock

[mashstache]

First half of issue 23, MashStache

[bison2winquote]

Mash, MashStache: Talented Warriors (Frosteysoft)

[sndfrosteyneko]

At least 10 years ago (as of 2024), I drew this comic featuring my OC Sonya Roku and put it on Tumblr. A few months later, I would design a character based loosely on this design named Jody "Mash" Rock, featured in MashStache.

“Z-Logic Hotline”, by Eben “FrostEy”, aka the guy who runs Bison2Winquote

[eben-frostey]

One of my characters, Jody “Mash” Rock dressed up as one of the greatest fighting game protagonists, Terry Bogard. Her stuff can be seen in the comic @mashstache Terry Bogard is a character from SNK’s Fatal Fury series and is also in The King of Fighters series.

[diamondscraps]

MashStache VS Diamond Legends: Ultimate Bout 28 - 1999 (FrosteySoft/ Finnyeh-Hoboco Entertainment) Mash and the sprite of her belongs to @sndfrosteyneko​ /@eben-frostey  Java sprite created by 860288840 from DA BG taken from Marvel vs Street Fighter.

[jumblejen]

Birthday Wishes for My Husband

Suptober21 Day 22: Birthday

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34661347

“Is it really Papa’s birthday tomorrow?”

Cas smiled at his son. “Of course it is.”

“I didn’t think Papa had a birthday.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I asked Uncle Sam about what he did for birthdays when he was a kid.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me about Papa trying to find cupcakes or ice cream. And him not having much presents but Papa tried to do something fun.”

“What does that have to with Papa’s birthday?”

“I asked Uncle Sam about what he did for Papa’s birthdays and he said he didn’t remember really doing anything.”

Cas closed his eyes briefly. “Did Uncle Sam say anything else?”

“Yeah. He said birthdays weren’t ever a big deal for Papa and so they didn’t celebrate.”

“Oh.” Cas swallowed hard, trying to keep his expression neutral.

It wasn’t Jack’s fault that Dean’s family was a little dense and thoughtlessly hurtful. “Well I think Papa deserves an extra-special birthday. To make up for all the ones he missed.”

“Okay Daddy! Can we have a clown?”

Cas seriously considered this request for a minute. Dean was ambivalent about clowns, but Cas wouldn’t mind making Sam uncomfortable. The idea that even Sam couldn’t connect the dots of Dean saying his birthday wasn’t a big deal because there was no one who ever bothered to make it a big deal. “I don’t think Papa wants a clown for his birthday.”

“Can we get balloons?”

“We can get balloons.”

“And cake?”

“Not cake. I’m picking up a special pie for Papa tomorrow.”

“Papa does like pie. Why aren’t we making the pie, Daddy?”

“Because I want the pie to be perfect.”

“And last time it wasn’t perfect?”

“No it was not.”

“Was that the time we had to open the windows even though it was snowing on Christmas Eve?”

“Yes it was.”

“Papa still ate some of the pie.”

Cas smiled at the memory of his husband trying to chew and swallow the less burnt part of the pie just because it made Cas sad that the pie was ruined. “But we want his birthday pie to be much better than that.”

“Okay Daddy. Can I make a card for Papa?”

“Of course you can. Do you need paper?”

“No I have the ‘struction paper that I got from Aunt Eileen and I got crayons too.”

“Okay Jack.”

“Can I make it now?”

“Of course.” Cas watched Jack slip his way out of the kitchen and heard him thump his way up to his room and the door shut soundly. Jack had the easy job, which made sense because he was only four. But Dean would love anything Jack made. Cas wasn’t so sure about his own plans for Dean.

They had agreed to have dinner at the house. Not too many people since January wasn’t the time for an outdoor barbeque, but still. Sam and Eileen were coming. Charlie. Bobby and Rufus. Claire and Kaia. It would be a little crowded around the table, but Dean would enjoy seeing everyone. And Donna and Jody promised to visit the weekend after next. Bobby was bringing lasagna, Charlie claimed you couldn’t have lasagna without garlic bread, so she had that covered, and Sam and Eileen were bringing a salad. There was remarkably little that Cas needed to do to be ready.

Cas still worried though. This felt like the first birthday Dean had since the fire took away his childhood where he could really just relax. The world wasn’t ending, there were no supernatural mysteries to unravel. It was just them. And their family.

 The rest of the evening was uneventful. Jack finished his card and Cas wrapped Dean’s presents in fun fabric bags he’d bought at a craft show. Dean had come home and they’d had a nice dinner of leftovers. Jack had gotten mashed potatoes in his hair as a result of a too-vigorous explanation of the game he’d played at preschool that morning. Bathtime, storytime, bedtime for Jack. And then Dean and Cas sat on the couch for a few minutes, cuddled up with books while Dean’s classic rock played softly in the background. Cas treasured the little kisses that Dean would plant on the top of his head whenever he reached the end of a chapter. And then it was yawning and stretching and time for them to go to bed too.

 The alarm woke Dean and Cas early as it always did. And it being January, the room was dark. Dean and Cas shuffled towards consciousness, Cas clicking on the bedside lamp before they both just fell back asleep.

“Good morning Dean. Happy birthday.”

“Morning Cas.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Cas. C’mere.” Dean pulled Cas into his arms so they were all tangled up. “How long do you think we have before Jack comes in here?”

“About thirty seconds after we start making out.”

Dean huffed out a laugh. “That sounds about right.”

“He’s going to spend the night with Bobby and Rufus, remember.”

“Yeah, he’s been real excited about getting to stay with them.”

“I’ll pack his stuff after I drop him off at preschool.”

“Hard to believe I’m forty-three.”

“Why is that hard to believe?”

“Didn’t think we’d ever get here. Did you?”

“I don’t think I knew what ‘here’ was really. Not as a thing I could aspire to.”

“You still okay with here?”

“Of course Dean. I get to wake up with my husband every morning. Our son is growing up happy. We have this wonderful little house and our lives have more peace than I thought a Winchester could ever tolerate. This is more than I knew I could have.”

“I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Dean leaned over and kissed Cas gently, little tiny good morning kisses that slowly became longer and more intense. Cas’ hand cupped the side of Dean’s face. Dean traced idle patterns on Cas’ back.

“Papa! Papa!” Jack burst in the door, the much brighter hallway light causing Dean and Cas to wince and separate a little. “Happy Birthday Papa!” Jack bounced into the bed, snuggling his sleep-warm body in between the two of them.

“Thank you Jack”

“Papa are you old now?”

“Probably Jack.”

“Does that mean Grandpa Bobby and Grandpa Rufus are ancient?!”

“Maybe you should ask them that tonight.”

“It would be cool if they were. Maybe they’re mummies!”

“Definitely ask them tonight.”

“Okay. Hey Papa?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“I hope you have the bestest birthday.”

“I hope so too.” Dean stretched and sat up, swooping Jack up into his arms as he got out of bed. Cas looked on at the two of them, memorizing the happy expressions on both their faces. “Now come on. We gotta get ready.”

“It’s birthday time!”

“And getting ready for preschool time. You coming sleepyhead.”

“Of course Dean.” Cas smiled as he got out of bed. It may be Dean’s birthday, but Cas felt like he’d already received the biggest gift possible for today. He had big plans for Dean for his birthday. And really, for all their future days too.  

[bluecarelesswhisper]

TOP 100 FEMALE SOLO SINGERS OF THE '50S AND '60S

Patti Page - All My Love, The Tennessee Waltz, Mockin' Bird Hill, I Went to Your Wedding, The Doggie in the Window, Cross Over the Bridge, Allegheny Moon, Old Cape Cod; Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte

Connie Francis - Who's Sorry Now, My Happiness, Lipstick on Your Collar, Everybody's Somebody's Fool, My Heart Has a Mind of its Own, Where the Boys Are, Don't Break the Heart That Loves You

Brenda Lee - Sweet Nothin's, I'm Sorry, I Want to Be Wanted, Fool #1, Break it to Me Gently, All Alone Am I

Kay Starr - Wheel of Fortune, Side By Side, Changing Partners, If You Love Me (Really Love Me), Rock and Roll Waltz

Doris Day - A Guy is a Guy, Secret Love, If I Give My Heart to You; Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera); Everybody Loves a Lover

Dionne Warwick - Anyone Who Had a Heart, Walk on By, I Say a Little Prayer, (Theme from) Valley of the Dolls, I'll Never Fall in Love Again

Aretha Franklin - I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You), Respect, Baby I Love You, Chain of Fools, The House That Jack Built

Teresa Brewer - Music! Music! Music!, Till I Waltz Again With You, Ricochet, A Tear Fell, A Sweet Old Fashioned Girl

Jo Stafford - Shrimp Boats, You Belong to Me, Jambalaya, Keep it a Secret, Make Love to Me!

Rosemary Clooney - Come On-a My House, Half as Much, Botch-A-Me, Hey There, This Ole House

Joni James - Why Don't You Believe Me, Have You Heard, Your Cheatin' Heart; My Love, My Love; How Important Can it Be?

Petula Clark - Downtown, I Know a Place, My Love, This is My Song, Don't Sleep in the Subway

Dinah Washington - I Don't Hurt Anymore, What a Diff'rence a Day Makes, Unforgettable, This Bitter Earth

Mary Wells - The One Who Really Loves You, You Beat Me to the Punch, Two Lovers, My Guy

Georgia Gibbs - Kiss of Fire, Seven Lonely Days, Tweedle Dee, Dance With Me Henry (Wallflower)

Lesley Gore - It's My Party, Judy's Turn to Cry, She's a Fool, You Don't Own Me

Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made For Walkin'; How Does That Grab You, Darlin'?; Sugar Town, Love Eyes

Sarah Vaughan - Make Yourself Comfortable, How Important Can it Be?, Whatever Lola Wants, Broken-Hearted Melody

Dusty Springfield - I Only Want to Be With You, Wishin' and Hopin', You Don't Have to Say You Love Me, Son-Of-A Preacher Man

Ruth Brown - Teardrops From My Eyes, 5-10-15 Hours, (Mama) He Treats Your Daughter Mean, Oh What a Dream

Kitty Wells - It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels, Makin' Believe, Searching (For Someone Like You), Heartbreak U.S.A.

Etta James - The Wallflower, All I Could Do Was Cry, At Last, Tell Mama

LaVern Baker - Tweedlee Dee, Play it Fair, Jim Dandy, I Cried a Tear

Gale Storm - I Hear You Knocking, Teen Age Prayer, Dark Moon

Dinah Shore - My Heart Cries For You, Sweet Violets, Chantz-Chantez

Jaye P. Morgan - That's All I Want From You, Danger! Heartbreak Ahead, The Longest Walk

Eydie Gorme - Mama, Teach Me to Dance; You Need Hands, Blame it on the Bossa Nova

Carla Thomas - Gee Whiz (Look at His Eyes), B-A-B-Y, I Like What You're Doing (To Me)

Patsy Cline - Walkin' After Midnight, I Fall to Pieces, Crazy

Peggy Lee - Lover, Fever, Is That All There Is

Dee Dee Sharp - Mashed Potato Time, Gravy (For My Mashed Potatoes), Ride!

Kitty Kallen - Little Things Mean a Lot, In the Chapel in the Moonlight, My Coloring Book

Annette - Tall Paul, O Dio Mio, Pineapple Princess

Cher - All I Really Want to Do, Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down), You Better Sit Down Kids

Barbra Streisand - People, He Touched Me, Second Hand Rose

Linda Scott - I've Told Every Little Star, Don't Bet Money Honey, I Don't Know Why

Connie Smith - Once a Day, Ain't Had No Lovin', The Hurtin's All Over

Barbara Lewis - Hello Stranger, Baby I'm Yours, Make Me Your Baby

Anita Bryant - Till There Was You, Paper Roses, In My Little Corner of the World

Skeeter Davis - My Last Date (With You), The End of the World, I Can't Stay Mad at You

Sue Thompson - Sad Movies (Make Me Cry), Norman, Paper Tiger

Della Reese - And That Reminds Me, Don't You Know, Not One Minute More

Loretta Lynn - Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' on Your Mind), Fist City, Woman of the World (Leave My World Alone)

Betty Everett - You're No Good, The Shoop Shoop Song, There Comes a Time

Jackie DeShannon - What the World Needs Now is Love, Put a Little Love in Your Heart, Love Will Find a Way

Timi Yuro - Hurt, What's a Matter Baby, Make the World Go Away

Debbie Reynolds - Tammy, A Very Special Love, Am I That Easy to Forget

Gogi Grant - Suddenly There's a Valley, Who Are We, The Wayward Wind

Maxine Brown - All in My Mind, Funny, Oh No Not My Baby

Betty Johnson - I Dreamed, Little White Lies, The Little Blue Man

Jean Shepard - A Satisfied Mind, Beautiful Lies, Second Fiddle (To An Old Guitar)

Shirley Ellis - The Nitty Gitty, The Name Game, The Clapping Song

Little Eva - The Loco-Motion, Keep Your Hands Off My Baby, Let's Turkey Trot

Vera Lynn - Auf Wiederseh'n Sweetheart, Yours, If You Love Me (Really Love Me)

Eartha Kitt - C'est Si Bon, Santa Baby, Somebody Bad Stole De Wedding Bell

Lulu - To Sir With Love, Best of Both Worlds, Morning Dew

June Valli - Crying in the Chapel, I Understand, Apple Green

Connie Stevens - Sixteen Reasons, Why'd You Wanna Make Me Cry, Mr. Songwriter

Jane Morgan - Fascination, The Day the Rains Came, With Open Arms

Nancy Wilson - (You Don't Know) How Glad I Am, I Wanna Be With You; Face it Girl, it's Over

Esther Phillips - Release Me, And I Love Him, When a Woman Loves a Man

Vikki Carr - It Must Be Him, The Lesson, With Pen in Hand

Little Peggy March - I Will Follow Him, I Wish I Were a Princess; Hello Heartache, Goodbye Love

Mindy Carson - Candy and Cake, My Foolish Heart, Wake the Town and Tell the People

Sandy Posey - Born a Woman, Single Girl, I Take it Back

Bobbie Gentry - Ode to Billie Joe, Fancy

Brenda Holloway - Every Little Bit Hurts, When I'm Gone

Eileen Rodgers - Miracle of Love, Treasure of Your Love

Barbara Lynn - You'll Lose a Good Thing, Second Fiddle Girl

Dottie West - Here Comes My Baby, Would You Hold it Against Me

Baby Washington - That's How Heartaches Are Made, Only Those in Love

Kathy Linden - Billy; Goodbye Jimmy, Goodbye

Cathy Carr - Ivory Tower, First Anniversary

Fontella Bass - Rescue Me, Recovery

Barbara Mason - Yes, I'm Ready; Sad, Sad Girl

Marianne Faithfull - As Tears Go By, Summer Nights

Shelley Fabares - Johnny Angel, Johnny Loves Me

Wanda Jackson - Let's Have a Party, In the Middle of a Heartache

Tammy Wynette - D-I-V-O-R-C-E, Stand By Your Man

Mama Cass - Dream a Little Dream of Me, It's Getting Better

Faye Adams - Shake a Hand, Hurts Me to My Heart

Jill Corey - I Love My Baby, Love Me to Pieces

Dodie Stevens - Pink Shoe Laces, No

Bettye Swann - Make Me Yours, Don't Touch Me

Jan Howard - Evil on Your Mind, Bad Seed

Nina Simone - I Loves You, Porgy; Ain't Got No; I Got Life

Norma Jean - Go Cat Go, I Wouldn't Buy a Used Car From Him

Miss Toni Fisher - The Big Hurt, West of the Wall

Damita Jo - I'll Be There, If You Go Away

Patty Duke - Don't Just Stand There, Say Something Funny

Bonnie Guitar - Dark Moon, Mister Fire Eyes

Gloria Lynne - I Wish You Love, Watermelon Man

Jody Miller - Queen of the House, Home of the Brave

Gisele MacKenzie - Hard to Get, The Star You Wished Upon Last Night

Betty Madigan - Joey, Dance Everyone Dance

Ketty Lester - Love Letters, But Not For Me

Barbara George - I Know (You Don't Love Me No More), You Talk About Love

Joanie Sommers - One Boy, Johnny Get Angry

Irma Thomas - Don't Mess With My Man, Wish Someone Would Care

Diane Renay - Navy Blue, Kiss Me Sailor

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Burn; Current!Roger Taylor x reader

*Author’s note*

In light of Hamilton coming out on Disney+ today (watched it earlier this afternoon and WAS BLOWN AWAY!!!!!) I wanted to post this for awhile but never had the time nor did I think I was going to but I then thought screw it I'll post it in light of Hamilton. So this fanfic goes around "That would be enough" (If you haven't read that story GO READ THAT CAUSE SPOILERS!!!) but this time it's in YOUR POV. Plus this song had some heavy inspiration for a sequel-ish part of that fic. So I hope you all enjoy it and have a safe and happy 4th of July to my fellow American readers :)

You can read pt.1 here -------> READ ME

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@platawnic

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

@queendeakyy

_____________________________________________________________

I sat there in the pub trying to enjoy our victory at the Grammy’s with my Hamilton fam, but what Roger had told me just clouded my mind and it was all I could think about.  He was my dad. All this time I really did have a father, a freakin Rockstar legend no doubt.  The man I had come to idolize out of all the four members of my favorite rock band was none other than my dad.

What if he was lying? Maybe he know about this all along? Maybe he kicked my mother aside as soon as she told him? So many questions were buzzing through my mind.  So many what if’s and maybes that I almost was about to just start bawling right there in the club.

“(Y/n)? You okay?” I felt a hand at my shoulder and when I turned around there stood Lin.  His brown eyes filled with concern.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You sure? You looked really out of it for a second there.” Said Renée.

“I’ll bet she’s still just star struck from having to sing alongside her favorite rock group. Am I right?” Daveed teased as he wrapped an arm around me and poked my cheek teasingly.

“Yeah how did it feel to be up there with Queen themselves (n/n)? You’ve always raved on about how you wished to perform alongside them.” Leslie said.

“Oh it was—amazing.” I trailed off. “Excuse me.” I removed Daveed’s arm from my shoulders and walked out ot eh club to try and get some air.

Once outside I was automatically hit with the cool winter LA air.  I took a left to the side of the club and leaned up against the wall trying to compose myself.  Of course I wasn’t gonna tell the guys what Roger just told me, no. This was my mess and they don’t deserve this gossip, but I’ve got to see whether Roger Taylor was either playing me for a fool or if in fact he really is my—father.

In the weeks that went by after the award season was done, I called up my mom’s brother and sister, my uncle Bobby and aunt Jodie to finally see just what the truth was.  I first arrived at my aunt Jodie’s home down in Sioux Falls and knocked on the door. The door opened after about five seconds and there stood my aunt Jodie, sheriff of the Sioux Falls police force.

“Hey, there’s my Tony award winning niece.”

“Aunt Jodie you know I didn’t win the award.”

“I don’t care you were denied that award. I’ve heard the album and I saw the show the day it came to Broadway and you were sensational!” I smiled and thanked her with a hug. “Come in, I was just making some coffee before I headed out to start my shift.”

“Oh well if you’re too busy we can talk later.” I said as I was gestured inside.

“Nonsense, besides I’m the sheriff I can come in whenever I want.” She bragged.  I shook my head playfully at her as she went into the kitchen and got the coffee poured out.  “So, you said over the phone that you wanted to talk about your mom, right?”

“In a way.” I said as I took one of the coffee mugs she soon came in with.  She and I sat down in the dining room and she said.

“Okay. What’s going on?”

“Look I’m just gonna cut to the chase. Is Roger Taylor my father?” her eyes widened and she gulped noticeably.

“Wow. That is cutting to the chase.”

“Aunt Jodie please. I’ve—been literally freaking out about this ever since he told me after the Grammy’s……”

“Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. You mean you actually met him?”

“Is it true?!” I demanded.  Aunt Jodie set her mug down and sighed heavily.

“God (m/n) you should’ve told her the truth.” She muttered into her hands as she buried her face into them.

“So it is true? Roger Taylor really is my dad?” she turned to me with solemn eyes and took my hand in hers.

“Your mom and Roger were a couple. And they seemed really happy with each other, even from being across the world from each other most days until one day she did move to London with him. God I could’ve sworn they would’ve been married by the end of the year. But you mom showed up at my apartment one night, drenched in the storm that was here that night with a heartbroken expression.”

“So—did he…..dump her? Break her heart?” I snapped lowly.

“Truth be told, your mom left him.” I looked at her in shock. “Yeah. It was also when she told me that she was pregnant. With you. Roger’s child.” She said as she stroked my cheek.  I turned away from her and I said as I stared at my mug of coffee.

“Why the hell would she lie to me all these years?”

“Believe me sweetie. Your uncle Bobby and I tried to convince your mom to tell you the truth. Especially once you heard your first Queen song. And—” But before she could finish her statement, her phone rang.  She picked it up and answered in a firm tone, “Sheriff Jodie……yeah. Okay. Alright I’ll be there soon.” She hung up and sighed heavily. “Sorry sweetie, the team needs me to do a press interview and it can’t wait any longer.”

“I understand.” I said solemnly.

“Here.” She spoke after a moment of silence.  She went over to the living room where she kept all her books and reached the very top of it and pulled out a scrapbook.  “Take this.” She handed it to me.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Your mom got into scrapbooking while she was up there. It—has all the pictures of her and Roger together. She told me to hide this shortly after you were born, but I think now since you know the truth, you should take it.” She held it out to me and I took it.  “You know, if you don’t wanna wait for me. You can see your uncle Bobby. He might have some things to tell you.”

“Wait, uncle Bobby knows about this too?!” I said aghast.  “Did the entire family know about this too? Did grandma and grandpa know about this too?”

“No. Just Bobby and I as her siblings. In fact your grandfather tried to keep your mom away from Roger when they started seeing each other. Said that he was no good for her.” With that she forced herself to leave the house so that she could meet for that press interview.

“Mom—why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?” I sighed as I left aunt Jodie’s place and headed 30 miles north to meet my uncle Bobby over at his place.

I arrived at his home/garage shop and we were both sitting down in the kitchen. He was currently eating a steak and potatoes and he even asked if I wanted anything but I told him I didn’t have the appetite to eat.  I then explained to him everything that I had found out and it was then he gently lowered his fork filled with mashed potatoes and he said grimly.

“So you met your old man?”

“Got to perform with him actually. I know you really don’t do award shows except for the CMA’s but yeah. I performed alongside Queen and Adam Lambert at the Grammys back in February.”

“And he told you that he was your father?”

“Yeah. Aunt Jodie gave me mom’s scrapbook. Would’ve told me more but she had to do a press junket or something like that.”

“Always busy that little sister of mine.” He sighed solemnly. “Listen sweetheart; when your mom first started seeing Roger I knew a bit of his playboy rep. Then again what rockstar back then didn’t have one? I just told her to be careful. Sure I wasn’t all that thrilled with her dating a Brit but I couldn’t stop her. But when Jodie called and told me that she had come back home pregnant with you, I wanted to drag her ass back there and have her tell Roger what had happened.”

“So she left—because of me?”

“Of course not sweetie. Her reason was because of the fact that Queen was finally rising to the heights they had dreamed of. She—she was honestly scared of what Roger would say if she told him. Jodie and I tried to convince her but you know your mama. Stubborn as an ox. Much like yourself.”

He stood up and went to open a drawer and pulled out a small rusted box.  He set it down before me and he told me.

“While your mom could never physically tell you the truth, she tried to see if she could write you a letter. She wrote one every year on your birthday, but could never find the heart to give them to you. She also even wrote some letters to Roger.”

“Let me guess, and she entrusted you with this like she did with aunt Jodie for the scrapbook.”

“There’s also this.” He left and grabbed an envelope from the kitchen cabinet where he would usually keep bills at.  “This…..was the letter she wrote on her deathbed. She entrusted me to give this to you when you were ready. Well, guess now’s a good time as any.” He handed me the envelope and I held that along with touching the lid of the box to reveal hundreds maybe thousands of letters.

I tried to keep the tears at bay from the hurt I was feeling in my chest.  Uncle Bobby was silence for a moment before he said to me.

“Take your time when you read these letters.”

After a couple of months of finally going through all the letter my mum tried to write to both Roger and myself throughout the years, and finally able to see every single picture of her and Roger together I was numb.

I was the only one left up on stage since everyone decided to go out to eat for their lunch break before tomorrow tonight’s performance which would in fact be Lin’s last performance with us on stage.  I took out one specific letter that was actually written just a few days before my mom finally died of cancer, the letter that she was actually able to finish completely with supposedly the right words she needed to tell me.

I had read this letter so many times that I could recite it almost as easy as my lines and the songs from Hamilton.  I sat down at the edge of the stage and looked down at it before taking out my phone and went through my rehearsal track and found the instrumental version of Burn.

Much like I had done once before when I was betrayed by my ex-fiancé at the time I was to star in the show when it first came to Broadway, I sung Burn aloud to myself filling each verse with as much emotion and betrayal I was feeling inside.

However unlike before, I couldn’t help myself but mix up some words to what I would normally sing on stage.

Play video

*Me*

I saved every letter you wrote to us From the moment I read them I knew you were his He said you were his Which makes me his

Do you know what aunt Jodie said, When we saw your first record arrive? You said, be careful with that one, love He will do what it takes to survive

You and your words flooded my senses Your sentences left me defenseless You built me palaces out of paragraphs You built cathedrals

I'm re-reading the letters you wrote to me I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line For some kind of sign And when you were mine The world seemed to burn. Burn.

You published your works to the world You told me of How you brought my mom into your bed In clearing your name You have ruined my life

Do you know what uncle Bobby said When he heard what you'd done? He said, she’s partnered with an Icarus He has flown too close to the sun

You and your words obsessed with your legacy Your sentences border on senseless And you are paranoid in every paragraph How they perceive you You, you, you!

I'm erasing you both from the narrative Let everyone wonder how (Y/n) reacted When you both broke her heart You have torn it all apart I'm watching it burn Watching it burn

The world has no right to my heart The world has no place in your bed They don't get to know what I said I'm burning the memories Burning the letters that

Might have redeemed you both

You forfeit all rights to my heart You forfeit the place in his bed You'll sleep in your office instead With only the memories of when you were mine

I hope you both

Burn

“I haven’t heard you sing that song with that much emotion since your ex fiancé cheated on you.” I turned around and there stood Lin.  He took off his newsies hat and said. “You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s going on? We’re all worried about you.”

“Just—some personal family drama Lin. You wouldn’t understand.” I said as I sat back down at the edge of the stage.

“I may not get it. But I am willing to lend an ear, if you’d like.” He said as he came up and sat down close to me.  His shoulder brushing against mine as his legs mimicked the same way mine were swinging.

“Why do you always have to make me succumb to your charms Lin Manuel Miranda?” he shrugged while giving me the puppy dog eyes.  I looked down at my letter before handing it over to him. “You can read it out loud if you’d like.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s better than just you reading in silence. My thoughts will just attack me if there’s silence.” He took the letter from my hand and proceeded to read it.

“‘My darling (y/n). I’ve written this letter over a thousand times in both versions. I could never find the right words to say but with my time coming to an end, you deserve to know the truth. You know how you’ve always loved the songs from Queen? Well, it would seem fate has decided to let you hear them for you see your father is known other than the drummer of Queen.’ Whaaaat?”

“I know. In fact Roger Taylor himself told me he was my father right after the Grammy’s. That’s why I was late to celebration. I didn’t want to believe him, thinking he was a senile old man trying to mess with me. But—hehe turns out he wasn’t. I’ve got pictures from my mom’s scrapbook that she made while she was in London of her and Roger together. All domestic like or her being in the studio with them. And then my uncle shows me some of the many letters she’s tried to write not only to me but to Roger himself about this whole shitshow. So yeah Roger Taylor’s my long lost baby daddy. Surprise!”

“My god.” Lin said after a long pause. “No wonder you’ve been out of sorts lately. I can’t blame you.”

“I’m so confused Lin.”

“About what exactly?”

“Everything. My mom lied to me for so long. Not only to me but apparently to Roger as well cause my aunt Jodie said he never knew. But then again I feel this—utter hatred for Roger because he could’ve told me sooner the moment he found out. Or maybe it would’ve been better had he never told me at all. I mean—I never knew I had a dad. I always believe he never cared about me or my mom, or died of a drug overdose or whatever. It feels like—my whole life has been nothing but one big lie. My entire family knew this secret and yet I find out now almost 30 years later that my father is Roger Fucking Taylor. My idol and favorite member of my most favorite rock band!”

“That is seriously a lot to take in. I mean—if I were in your place I’d be reacting the same way. Lost, betrayed, confused, heartbroken.”

“I just—why would she lie to me? I thought we told each other everything, and she goes and hides for all my life of who my real father was.” I sighed heavily. “You know; I used to always come up with the worst scenarios of why I never had a father. It’s all ranged from the basic ‘you get rid of the baby or I’m leaving you’ scenario. To overdosing or whatever. Or just dying of cancer or some shit like that. But no he’s been living his life as a Rock god. I mean—I should hate him but……he never knew. But then he did, how?”

“Well from what I can tell, and from the pictures you’ve shown me of your mom, you both look similar in a way. But your actions is what really makes you like your mom. I’ve seen all the plays she’s been in as a dancer or ensemble and you have that same fire as she did on the stage. It’s like—you both were made for it.”

“But I guess I get it from both of them.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Still I—I feel so angry with her for lying to me.”

“And it’s okay to be angry. And like you said, Roger didn’t know either. He was kept in the dark about it just as much as you were. But maybe when you got to know them along with Adam it might’ve brought some memories back.” He scooted closer to me and allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder.

“What do I do now?” I asked defeated.

“Well there is one option, but you’re not gonna like it.” We looked at each other and I said.

“You’re right I don’t.”

“But you’ve got to. (Y/n). you can be angry about this but don’t stay mad about it forever. Remember he didn’t know either. It’s not like he packed up and took off. Just tell him how you really feel. I’m not saying you have to accept him and call him dad as soon as you see him. Just—tell him you want to take things slow. Maybe go out for coffee or well tea since he’s British.” I softly laughed at that last remark. “Now there’s that fabulous smile my Eliza is known for.”

“Nice touch calling me my character’s name.”

“I know my Eliza like I know myself.” He shrugged.

“You know that’s Renée’s line right?”

“Yeah I know. Remember I wrote the script.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. C’mon Alexander, I’m hungry and we’ve got an until rehearsal.”

“Sure thing, let us spread our wings and fly away.”

“Okay now you’re just showing off.” I playfully shoved him as we left the theatre and went to go get lunch.

After another couple months, which made it four months since Roger Taylor told me the truth, I found myself in London to where I had told Roger and discussed with him with what I was feeling.  He said he was willing to go at whatever speed I needed in order to process this whole thing.

One day after seeing them perform at MSG, Roger and I were sitting together at Central Park right by the Balto statue having a cup of coffee together.

“So what’s new with you my dear?”

“Well…..I’ve been giving this some thought. And—I think it’s time I announced my leaving of Broadway’s Hamilton. Maybe even leaving Broadway all together.”

“Really? What made you decide that?”

“Well. Truthfully I’ve been thinking about……moving to London.” He turned to look at me and I turned to face him.  “Now before you say anything I know I should be thinking about this but I have. My aunt and uncle don’t even live remotely close to me so there’s nothing really tying me to New York. And also, I was—hoping that now that Queen’s done with touring for now, maybe you and I could……spend more time together.”

“I would like that very much.” He said with a warm smile. “I just hope you aren’t doing all this just for my sake. Like I told you before, I’m willing to go at your own pace.”

“And I thank you for that Roger. Truly I do. But…..I gotta stop giving into this anger that’s been festering up inside of me. After all you didn’t know about my mom being pregnant when she left you. And—I guess I just need some time away from home.”

“If you need a place to stay until you get on your feet. Or for even longer than that I will not say no to it. You can stay with Sarina and I. We’ve got more than enough rooms.”

“Thanks……..dad.” he looked at me surprised and he said.

“You—you actually called me…..”

“I figured it was about time I did so. I—hope I didn’t make things….”

“No, no, no, no, no not at all love.” He hesitantly reached up towards my face before he finally placed it up against my cheek.  I closed my eyes and leaned into his palm. “God. You’re—the perfect mixture of both your mother and myself.”

“You know, Daveed always teased me about just how much I looked like you when you were in drag for the I want to break free music video.” He laughed.

“Oh god that was a fun day on set. Probably one of my favorite videos to shoot.” I smiled softly at him and leaned up against his shoulder and said.

“Do you think they would’ve liked me? John and Freddie I mean.” I felt Roger sigh heavily and he said as I felt his arms wrap around me.

“There’s no doubt in my mind Freddie would’ve tried to spoil you. And John, I’d bet he’d be trying to turn you against me.” I softly chuckled and embraced my dad and nuzzled my head into his shoulder.

The two of us hugging each other finally sitting together as a real father and daughter.

[stardewitagain]

It is time!!!

I’ve finally emptied out the inbox! And because it’s around the time for religious excuses to miss work and school winter celebrations, I’ve made y’all a gift of my own! I have a list of weird things I’ve said/heard over the years and thought “hey wouldn’t it be funny if I did a ‘stardew characters as these’ thing?” So here it is! ALL stardew characters as weird things I’ve heard! Happy holidays, kiddos!

(Note: all characters are sorted by alphabet)

Abigail: my dad slept through it all cuz he’s a bitch

Alex: I hit myself in the face with a dog earlier. It wasn't my dog.

Bouncer: He’s six years old he’s lived his life

Caroline: Do you want to shit fucking tide pods?

Clint: He says “happy birthday! Here’s your gift!” And hands me his half eaten poptart

Dwarf: ...and then just beats him with a trash can

Demetrius: Do your nipples need glasses too?

Elliott: If there’s a wasp you’ll see me do the most beautiful rain dance you’ve ever seen to get away from it

Elliott’s crab: Bandit One-Nipple

Emily: Ooh who she? She purty! Oh wait that’s me- (bonus: ...and it ended with her wearing 20 shirts, 7 pairs of skinny jeans, and 5 potatoes.)

Evelyn: My dog smells like concentrated grandma

Farmer: I am only emotionally prepared to give you a pineapple

George: Oh Jesus I forgot about the sausages (bonus: oh great, I got special arthritis!)

Gil: It’s hard to work with hairy metal

Governor: Stard

Grandpa: I thought you said “I have the coolest drugs in the world” and I was like “yes you do, Alec”

Gunther: I didn’t forget horses, they are just pants

Gus: i don’t even know where north dakota is, is it the beans?

Haley: Would I give you cooties for being a lesbian?

Harvey: ^ idk, it might cancel out because we’re both gay

Henchman: I'll throw a pineapple so quick you'll think you've been shot

Jas: Mom, will you hand me a chicken tender by putting it between my toes?

Jodi: I like how you just came in here and looked us in the eyes like you didn’t just spray half a can of whipped cream into a taco shell (bonus: YOU DONT PUT SODA IN A BURRITO)

Kent: I’d like to think that was the moment when [Jodi]’s mom looked at me and said “I hope that guy dates my daughter someday. That guy who’s wearing 100 shirts and eating yogurt.”

Krobus: Dinner time does not account for cannibalism, please don’t kill each other

Leah: I’m a hipster today, would you like to ask about my vegan Prius

Lewis: Diet Coke tastes like bandaids and mashed potatoes

Linus: Do not look at me or I will die

Marlon: These are our TVs and our tater tots and they’re not having either one

Marnie: We named one of our dodos “Emergency Chicken Thighs” and he’s stuck floating in mid air and we don’t know how to get him down

Maru: (trying to remember the word for therapist) “hang on...it’s not a booty call...”

Morris: That’s what rich people smell like: pickles and salt (bonus: “what’s this smell?” “The greed of the rich.”)

Mr. Qi: it’s rock o’clock

Pam: Yes but I only have no hands

Penny: Do not make me turn this library around

Pierre: There’s not enough butter on the rolls until your house is on fire

Robin: put the feet in the trash

Sam: “We need a garbage hole...what else would you call it?” “...a trash can?” “...I forgot that’s a word” (bonus: you wrote a bible! For the garbage hole!)

Sandy: “That’s what they call me in the club” “Large patch of sand?”

Sebastian: God nerfed me by making me queer (bonus: everyone knows motorcycles are a gateway to gay)

Shane: It’s like riding a bike: you try it once, crash into a tree, and never do it again

Traveling Cart Merchant: The best I can get is barbecue toothpaste

Vincent: It's got hooves. But it's a cat. But it's a dog. But it's on fire. And it's got horns. (Bonus: Be prepared for an Oreo to fall out of your bed)

Willy: You might like getting choked but turtles don’t so keep your FUCKIN plastic out of the ocean

Witch: I’m gonna steal Jesus cheese

Wizard: I’m minding my own business, you should try it (bonus: The lgbt community came from a rainbow bird the size of a giraffe)

Thanks and credit to @just-yelling-dark-vengeance and @kennysbog for most of the things on this list!

[mashstache]

February 1st, 2023 is Mash’s 31st birthday Well, in the modern day, not in the comic’s time XD

[killscreencinema]

Kingdom Hearts 2 (PS2)

The year was 2005.  I had just graduated college and was going through a major dilemma on what I should do next (still struggling with that in fact!).  The new Doctor Who series had just finished its first season, forever reigniting my interest in the series, both new and old.  It was a tumultuous year to say the least, so the release of Kingdom Hearts 2 was a welcome diversion.

Skip to 2020, wherein I lost my job back in March, the United States has been nearly led to ruin by an outrageously mishandled pandemic, and Doctor Who kinda sucks nowadays (not because of Jodie Whittaker, whom I adore, but the writing is meh).  So what better time to revisit Kingdom Hearts 2 than now???

Well, specifically Kingdom Hearts 2.5 Remix Final Version 7 Medley HD Culmination... for the PS4.  But for all intents and purposes, I’m talking about Kingdom Hearts 2 for PlayStation 2.

The game begins with some jabroni we’ve never seen before named Roxas, hanging out with his friends in Twilight Town, when a mysterious man in dark robes keeps appearing and saying enigmatic things like, “It’s nearly time” and “Don’t you remember me, Sora?”  I have to admit, this really threw me during my original play through.  I had not played Chain of Memories, and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, which more thoroughly explains all of this shit, wouldn’t be released for me to completely ignore on DS until 2009. 

All is... relatively... cleared up shortly when Sora wakes up in a pod that he has been sleeping in after his adventure in Castle Oblivion in Chain of Memories.  Again, not having played that, I was thoroughly confused - why was he asleep?  Who is this girl Namine that seems responsible for Sora’s slumber?  WHAT IS HAPPENING???  As the game goes on, you find out that there’s a new threat to Disney world(s) besides the Heartless - a group called the Nobodies, led by black cloaked villains named Organization XIII.  Their goal is to make the plot unnecessarily convoluted... but also to claim “Kingdom Hearts” so they can regain their hearts and become fully human again.  

Who cares about all that, though, because Sora’s main objective is to find Riku and Kairi.  Again.  Are they really worth all the trouble?  Kairi is barely a character at all, while Riku was a traitorous shithead.  Sora, you can do better.

Anyway, the game plays very similarly to the first one, but the battle system his been completely overhauled with additional features like “Drive”, which allows you to switch into powerful “Forms” during a fight; and “Limits”, which are special moves you can perform with party members.  The biggest new feature, which the developers obviously based most of combat around, are the “React” commands that occur during battle.  At certain points during a fight, you can press triangle to perform a special counter attack or trigger a quick time event.  This is obviously the new hotness, as some boss fights are unwinnable if you don’t hit the react command in time, but thankfully the timing is incredibly merciful (just mash triangle until it triggers the event).  So it’s not as annoying as it could have been.

What is annoying is how bullshit a lot of the boss fights can be, especially the bonus ones at the end of the game.  Fighting any given member of Organization XIII can be hell, especially assholes like Luxord or Zexion, both of which take more luck than skill to defeat due to the nature of their gimmicky ass fights.  Those two aside, while defeating some of these bosses can be an unholy pain, they aren’t insurmountable as long as you “get gud” at the game’s somewhat janky blocking mechanic, which you’ll find to be the key to turning the tide of every major fight (especially against Sephiroth).  It’s all about finding the opportunity to get in some combos, but not getting too greedy or you’ll otherwise get caught up in the boss’s counter. 

The worlds you visit this time around are somewhat blander than the first game, if I’m being perfectly honest.  Mulan world is just feudal China with a Disney aesthetic and The Pirates of the Caribbean feel like a retread of the Neverland stage in the first game... but with far more irritating enemies.  The world I was most looking forward to, Pride Rock aka Lion King world, is a gray wasteland like at the end of the movie by the time you get there.  The only new world I truly enjoyed was Space Paranoids, aka Tron World, if only because I love the look of that movie, so it was a refreshing visual change of pace for the game.  You also revisit some worlds from the previous game, but with new story from their respective movies sprinkled in.  Whatever my complaints, I am eternally grateful that the game designers made the Atlantica episodes (Little Mermaid world) into a series of rhythm mini-games instead of having to fight as a mermaid again, which was a pain in the ass in the first game. 

One thing that got revamped and vastly improved, that caught me by surprise, was the Gummi Ship missions.  In the first game, they were mostly a nuisance - a dull mini-game you were forced to endure between worlds.  In Kingdom Hearts 2, they take on a much more epic scale, and are a lot more fun.  It almost felt like I was playing Starfox a couple times, which ain’t a bad thing! 

Overall, Kingdom Hearts 2 is a worthy enough sequel, but just doesn’t feel as grand or epic as the first.  Maybe because the novelty of the game’s concept isn’t as endearing this time around or maybe because this is the point in the series that the story begins to go off the rails.  I don’t rightly know, except that it felt like a mostly hollow gameplay experience the second time around, even with the difficulty cranked up to Critical Mode.  Can’t wait to play Kingdom Hearts 3! 

[my-proof-is-you]

Chasing Your Demons - Ch. 20

Summary: You thought you had left Dean Winchester behind you. After what he did, who could blame you?

But, when Dean is in trouble, his brother and your childhood best friend calls for help. You’re mad, but that doesn’t change that you care about them.

Soon you find yourself helping the younger Winchester and getting closer to him again. Dean has changed, but you want to help bring him back to who he was. If it works, though, what will the future hold for you and the brothers?

*I do not own and gifs or pics

Masterlist

You

You had laid in bed all night thinking after the kiss with Dean. It didn’t help that you also felt the need to avoid Sam after your breakup. You stayed under your covers, pretending the outside world didn’t exist.

Luckily, a distraction arose. Sam knocked on your door early the next morning to tell you that Jody needed help with a case. You were definitely glad to go do something that would keep your mind occupied, but you were even more glad to get to see Jody.

In the time since your mom had died, you had never really had a mother figure. Your dad was definitely not one to join the dating market, and the hunting world is generally made up by mostly men. When you met Jody, though, you had an instant connection to her. And even though you wouldn’t really consider her your “mom,” you still loved getting to see her and ask her advice on things. Plus, she had the same take-no-shit attitude you had, which made you kindred spirits.

You were the first one ready and in the Impala. The boys—who had presumably been sleeping before they got the call—took a little longer, dragging themselves into the garage with to-go coffee cups.

Shit. The car ride.

You hadn’t thought about the awkward silence that was bound to happen when you began your trip. Thankfully, though, Dean immediately turned on some classic rock at a high volume. Sam put his headphones in and leaned his head against the window to sleep some more.

You leaned back in the seat, still exhausted from your lack of sleep. You looked out the window for most of the trip, but every once in a while you would catch Dean looking at you in the rear-view mirror. He would quickly avert his gaze, and you would roll your eyes before looking back out the window.

The only conversation to be had during the trip was about the hunt for which Jody needed your help. It was a couple of shifters—your favorite. Ever since they killed your dad, you had loved hunting those bastards the best. You knew it probably wasn’t healthy to get fake revenge like that, but you didn’t really care.

After hours of driving with very few stops, you were itching to get out of the car. The tension in the air was suffocating. When you pulled up to Jody’s house, you immediately hopped out, not bothering to help with anything from the trunk.

“Honey, I’m home!” You yelled as you opened the door to the house.

Jody came around the corner from the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. She had a slight look of confusion, but she smiled as soon as she knew it was you.

“Well I wasn’t expecting to see you! I’m glad you’re here, though. Lord knows I have a hard time wrangling those damn Winchester brothers,” she said as she hugged you. You chuckled a little, wanting to humor her but not wanting to talk about them.

The boys came in shortly after and Jody hugged them too, admonishing them for not calling more often.

“Come on in! I just made dinner, and there’s lots since Alex is staying with a friend this weekend,” she said, leading you all to the dining table.

“This smells fantastic, Jody,” you said. It really did. She had made chicken with an incredible white sauce on it along with steamed veggies and mashed potatoes. You looked over at the boys, who were already eating as if they hadn’t seen food in days.

“God, you guys,” you said, giving them a glare and motioning your head toward Jody.

“Oh, uh, thanks, Jody. This is really good,” Sam said. Dean said something similar, but it was hard to tell around all the mashed potatoes he had shoved in his mouth.

Jody chuckled, and looked at you as she began eating too. “So, lady, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few years. What’s new?”

If only you knew, you thought to yourself. It wasn’t the time to tell her the truth, though.

“Oh, you know, just hunting and stuff. Hooked back up with these two a few months back.” Your face turned beet red as soon as you realized how poorly you had chosen your words. Jody looked at you, confused again, and you knew you would be doing some explaining later.

The rest of dinner was spent catching Jody up on what had happened with Dean and hearing about the various adventures Jody was experiencing raising a teenager. You helped take the plates to the kitchen when everyone was done eating and heard Jody from the other room.

“Why don’t you boys go pick us up some pie and ice cream for dessert? We’ll take care of the dishes.”

You heard the boys agree and the front door open and close. You were washing dishes at the sink when you saw Jody come up next to you in your peripheral vision.

“So. Wanna explain what’s going on with all that? You could cut the tension with a knife,” she said, nudging you with her elbow while drying off the dishes you rinsed.

“Hmm, how to explain,” you began, not looking up from your work. “My best friend--who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend’s brother--called me to help find said ex-boyfriend who had become a demon. My best friend then became my boyfriend and we found and cured my ex-boyfriend. Then my ex-boyfriend told me that he had been lying to me about cheating on me for two years. My then boyfriend broke up with me, and first ex-boyfriend kissed me.”

Jody had stopped drying and was just staring at you, open-mouthed. She sucked in a breath. “Okay,” she said with wide eyes.

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Yeah.”

“Let's go sit down,” she said, pulling you toward the living room.

You explained everything in detail about what had happened—Jody listening and not interrupting the entire time. When you finally finished, you felt a tear run down your cheek.

“Jody, what am I going to do?”

“Well first off,” she said, wiping the tear away from your cheek, “you’re not going to cry over these boys. They have caused you enough grief.”

You gave her a little half smile, trying to hold back the tears.

“Secondly, you have to figure out your feelings. As much as I know those two can be dumber than a box of rocks, I also know that they care about you. And it’s clear you care about them.”

“Yeah, but I have no idea how long that could take. It’s all so confusing,” you said, rubbing your hand over your face.

“I know. But you have as much time as you want. Those boys can wait. And after what happened, they oughta know that they should give you as much time as you want.” Jody smiled. “And just so you know, you are always welcome here if things get a little…crowded and you need to clear your head.”

“Thanks, Jody,” you said as the front door opened. The boys came in with grocery bags in hand and looked from Jody to you, concern crinkling their brows in almost identical ways.

“Dessert time!” Jody said, pushing up from the couch. You smiled and followed her to the kitchen. Though you knew you couldn’t talk to the boys just yet, you could at least smile and make small talk while you ate some ice cream.

Sam

Sam watched as you climbed the stairs to go to bed. You were going to sleep in Alex’s room, and he and Dean would be sleeping on the couch and floor. He felt concern worm its way through his heart at your look of utter exhaustion and the way your eyes were puffy from what he could only assume was crying.

When you were out of sight, Sam turned to Jody who was standing right behind him with her arms crossed. Sam looked past her to Dean who had a frightened look on his face.

“Uh, what’s up, Jody?” Sam asked cautiously. She turned so she could see both brothers.

“What are you two trying to do to that poor girl?” She asked, looking between the two of them.

Dean sighed loudly. Both of them had known this was coming. Sam sat down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair.

“We aren’t trying to do anything, Jodes. It just somehow became….a mess,” Sam said.

“Yeah, well, you two better clean it up. She looks like crap, and after what she told me I don’t blame her.”

“We don’t know how to fix it, Jody. She’s pissed, and she has the right to be,” Dean said. Sam looked at his brother and saw absolute devastation in his eyes. Sam knew that Dean loved you, but he had no idea that it was this deep. Sam felt a little pang of jealousy that he didn’t want to examine run through his chest.

That’s because you know the truth, Sam. You know you don’t love her like Dean does.

Sam shook his head and ignored his inner voice.

“I don’t like to tell you boys what to do,” Jody began. Dean rolled his eyes. “But you need to give her some time and space to figure all this out, okay?”

“You’re right. And we will,” Sam said. He and Dean both knew that would be hard for them, and Sam wasn’t sure how long they could last. He just hoped you got your feelings in order before they pressured you too much and scared you away.

Dean

Dean laid on the couch, trying to will sleep to come. It wouldn’t, and he couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss with you. Every time he remembered the feel of your soft lips on his, his heart would beat faster. Eventually, he pulled back the covers and carefully stepped over a snoring Sam on the floor.

Dean climbed the stairs, going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He looked up at himself in the mirror, noticing how bloodshot his green eyes were. He looked for another moment before his eyes suddenly turned pitch black. Dean jumped back in fright before slowly returning to the mirror, looking at himself in horror.

When he looked again, though, his eyes were back to their normal green. Dean knew that the Mark was getting antsy. He hadn’t killed in a while, and things like this started happening when he didn’t.

He turned off the light and stood outside the bathroom. He was going to turn and go back down the stairs, but something made him walk quietly down the hall instead. It was as if a magnet was pulling him toward you, urging him to push open the cracked door to your room.

Dean stared at your sleeping form from the door way. He knew he was being creepy, but he couldn’t help it. He walked quietly to your bedside, watching you sleep. You looked peaceful, and it was nice to see the lines of your face smooth and not filled with anger. You rustled a little and rolled over in your sleep. Dean thought he saw your eyes open, but you were still asleep, your breathing even.

Dean turned and left before he got caught watching you. He closed the door silently and leaned against it. The new image of you sleeping had already seared itself into his brain, right along with all the other memories he had of you.

Dean crept down the stairs and crawled back under the covers on the couch. He closed his eyes and started to drift. Something about seeing you had made him relax, and it wasn’t long before sleep took him.

Dean woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of voices drifting in from the kitchen. Sam was still asleep, so he laid for a little longer, eavesdropping on the conversation between you and Jody.

“You look much better this morning, Y/N,” Jody said. Dean heard the scraping of a chair and imagined that Jody sat down at the table with you.

“I feel a little better. I actually slept. Thanks for the talk last night, Jody. I really needed that,” you responded.

Dean figured the two of you had talked when he and Sam went to get dessert the night before. He and Sam had talked, too.

“Dean, what are we going to do?” Sam asked, fidgeting in the front seat of the Impala.

“I don’t know, Sammy.”

Sam paused for a moment before speaking. “Be honest…are you still in love with her?”

Dean didn’t want to answer. In his heart he knew the truth, but he didn’t want to hurt Sam. He gripped the steering wheel tight.

“That was answer enough,” Sam said, noticing Dean’s hesitation. Dean looked at Sam, who was staring straight ahead. He wasn’t sure what the emotions on Sam’s face were. Anger? Jealousy?

“Regardless, we have to leave her alone. Neither of us can go after her right now. She needs time and space,” Sam said.

“Agreed.” Dean pushed the gas pedal down hard, speeding them down the road toward town. He didn’t know how long he could stop himself from pursuing you, but he knew he would do whatever it took to get you to forgive him.

Dean shook his head to clear the memory. He didn’t want to eavesdrop anymore and end up hearing something he shouldn’t, so he stretched his arms and groaned a bit so you and Jody would know he was awake.

He sat on the edge of the couch and lightly kicked Sam so he would wake up. He groaned too, rolling over. Dean got up and walked to the kitchen, where he headed straight for the coffee pot.

“Mornin’,” he said to no one in particular.

“Good morning, Dean,” Jody responded. He looked up and smiled at Jody before looking at you. Your face wasn’t angry, but wasn’t happy either. Your y/h/c hair fell in front of your face as you looked down and smelled your coffee, your eyes closed. Dean resisted the urge to reach out and tuck it behind your ear—something he used to do when you were together.

Sam came stumbling in, his hair sticking up everywhere.

You and Jody both stifled laughs before Jody spoke. “So, y’all ready for a hunt today?”

Forevers:

@malfoysqueen14

@divadinag

@lynne1993

@awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce

@infj-slytherclaw

@onethirstyunicorn

@sammykb1994

Deanies:

@tftumblin

@deans-baby-momma

@akshi8278

@weepingwillowphoenix

@playingdeep17

This Fic:

@icequeen6666

@my-soul-is-the-moon

@teenwaywardasgardian

@lilulo-12

@heyyy-hey-babyyy

[eben-frostey]

MashStache will come back, soon enough. And you’ll get to see Jody “Mash” Rock wear this I guess!

[jasonmargosart]

FUGAZI!!! 2019

Ian Mackaye destroying, as he was wont to do. From a photo by Jody Morris

Guess this is my punk rock/manga mash-up. Figured out how to use screentones in Clip Studio Paint and also started rereading Akira recently so that influenced it heavily. Hope my katakana lettering is accurate.

[kraffblr]

The Unspeakable Radio Show 29 w/ROMderful. by The Unspeakable Unpronounceable bringing you a collection of selections from his hometown and around the world. It's the last of our lockdown session episode! Huge love to everyone that's enjoyed all of our guests and held it down during this year 💖 We're ready to bring some brand new concepts to the show soon and take your experience with us to the next planet 🛸 Please enjoy our latest Unspeakable session by our host. Followed by an hour of our final guest, Midlands based producer, artist and pineapple connoisseur. We are joined by the wonderful ROMderful. 🌻 Check out our host @unpronounceable0121 Find out about The Unspeakable: https://ift.tt/2NqxI01 https://ift.tt/2GH5Ynp twitter.com/UnspeakableUFO Support: @ROMderful https://ift.tt/2k9BKf2 https://ift.tt/2ixXEsx https://ift.tt/31ZYoNT https://ift.tt/3gXpHN1 Tracklist: Reuben James - BBQ Energy ft. Adam Flowers & Keyon Harrold Stanzah! - Sunday Best Digital Mozart - Ryd Zone Act 1-2 LA SOÜLCHYLD - BADU DJ YUNG VAMP - MONEY LONGER LIL UZI VAMP Meekz - Like Me Masego & Medasin - Sunday Vibes Metal Fingers - Licorice Chunkz - Greece (Drake Cover) JUST BE HONEST, ALRIGHT? [JORJA SMITH] PIE2K - _cielitolindo Unpronounceable - Classique w/DeeDONTCARE Knucks - Thames cay caleb. - GRAN TURISMO CARS LOCK D'OH [GIGGS X DONAE'O] KIDBEATZZ Slow Down (Edit) The Look Of Love (Jay Dee Remix) Pete Rock - Smooth Sailing Lion Babe - Treat Me Like Fire Big Sean - Deep Reverence ft. Nipsey Hussle LOVERBOY™ - D'Angelo - Left & Right (Madlib Mash) J Dilla - The Look Of Love Pt.1 (Instrumental/Loop) cay caleb. - GET MONEY, IT AINT THE SAME [MIST] Raja Calif - Touch It (raja x jr jarris) Jabair - Dancehall King KayFaraway - You & Me (Prod ROMderful & CayCaleb.) N.E.R.D - Jump ft. Joel Madden & Benji Madden cay caleb. - TOO MUCH OF A GANGSTA TO LOVE YOU [DARKOO X ONE ACEN] MF DOOM - Kon Queso DJ YUNG VAMP - I GET DA DRIP U GET DRIP Poison (max9k × Borae flip) KayFaraway - AGENDAS (Prod by ROMderful.) Lil Wayne - Lollipop (BADER AFRO FLIP) cay caleb. - HEARTBROKEN LIFE HAS CHANGED [T2 X JODIE] ROMderful. Takeover Session:

[lindsayslife]

Where the Crawdads Sing - Delia Owen Rating: 4/5 Genre: Historical Fiction Pages: 384

[Caution: Spoilers]

Synopsis

Where the Crawdads Sing takes place in the marshes of North Carolina - where town outliers live. This book centers around Kya, or people in the town know her as Marsh Girl. The book starts off with her mother leaving her abusive Dad and eventually all of her older siblings living her at the house with him. She has to take over her mother’s roles of keeping the house clean and cooking at a very young age. Eventually, her father leaves her at 10 years old and she has to fend for herself. She makes money by selling mussels before the sun comes out and gets by on grits, crackers, and mashed mussels. 

This book details her falling in love with her older brother’s friend, Tate. It starts out with Tate leaving her beautiful feathers on a stump near her house. Eventually they meet up and he teaches her to read. He has to go to college but promises to come back on July 4th to visit.

When July 4h comes, he doesn’t come back. Kya is distraught from being lonely again - this even feels worse than before because she is heartbroken. Chase Andrews, a guy from the town of Barkley Cove tries to woo Kya but comes on way too aggressive and almost scares her away. They develop a relationship too but you can tell Kya doesn’t truly love him - she is just with him to ease her loneliness. 

After years Tate decides to come back. Kya is so upset with him but he still pushes to talk to her. He tells her that Chase isn’t serious about her and is with other girls out in town. He also mentions to her that she should write a book on the Marshes wildlife.

It is so badass when she is writing those books as a marsh expert - about the birds, mushrooms, grasses, plants, etc. 

Throughout the book there is a present day investigation going on to try to figure out who killed Chase Andrews.

Discussion

At first while I was reading this book I thought it was pretty slow and a bit boring. I usually like to read out loud so when I came home and starting reading this book out loud - you can hear how beautiful the writing is. Then I would say the book really picked up at around halfway and I couldn’t put it down.

1. The North Carolina marsh where Kya lives has long been a sanctuary for outsiders. How does this setting shape the novel? How does growing up in this isolation affect Kya? In what ways does her status as an "outsider" change how others see her?

This setting shapes the novel because seeing people who live in the marsh as outsiders alienates them from the community. Growing up in isolation forces Kya to be self sufficient and to grow up at a very young age. People have many presumptions about Kya without ever even talking to her - they see her as a wild animal instead of a little girl.

2. Why does Kya choose not to go back to school? Do you think she makes the wrong decision? How does Kya’s lack of formal education shape her vision of the world? Would her character be different if she had gone to school?

Kya chooses not to go back to school because she spelled “dog” wrong and everyone laughed at her. She felt like a complete outcast. I honestly don’t blame her for not wanting to go back - I don’t think the students there would ever be open to accepting her so she would have to go there and feel terrible everyday. I think by her staying in the marsh she learned more practical things with how to survive and eventually about the marsh’s wildlife. I think Kya’s lack of education makes her only know about the Marsh and not about the outside world - which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think she would’ve had a more normal life if she ended up going to school. Maybe she would have met Tate at the school and she would’ve went to college with him, they would’ve gotten married, etc.

3. After Jodie and Pa leave Kya alone, she becomes close to Jumpin’ and Mabel. Why are these two adults drawn to Kya? What do they teach her about the world? Do you agree with Jumpin’s decision to protect Kya from social services (p. 110) and to encourage her to live alone in the marsh? Why or why not?

They are drawn to Kya because they see how hard she works with trying to beat other people who sell mussels to Jumpin’. I don’t think they have kids of their own so they feel a connection to want to help her by putting clothes on her back and buying her wares. The main lesson they teach Kya is that racism is unwarranted and disgusting - especially during the part where the white boys from town are making fun of Jumpin’ then Kya throws a rock at them (I think?). I think Jumpin’ sees that no where else would be a home for Kya - even if she has foster parents to give her clothes and send her to school, the marsh is her home and she wouldn’t be happy elsewhere. Even if she has to fight for every cent.

4. Why do you think Kya’s mother leaves in the beginning? Do you agree with her decision?

Kya’s mother leaves in the beginning because she is sick of Kya’s dad abusing her and being a generally terrible person. I think she should’ve left with all the kids, not just herself. At the end it reveals that she was mentally unstable and didn’t even recall leaving but it was a terrible idea to leave her children there.

5. Kya often watches the other young people from town—she even nicknames them "Tallskinnyblonde, Ponytailfreckleface, Shortblackhair, Alwayswearspearls, and Roundchubbycheeks" (p. 80). What does Kya learn from observing these girls? Why do you think she keeps her watching secret? Do you agree with Kya’s secrecy?

By observing these girls she learns how society thinks girls should look and act. I think it is best for Kya to watch in secrecy - if she were to approach them they would not be receptive.

6. How is womanhood explored throughout the novel? What does being a woman mean to Kya? How does she relate to the other women in Barkley Cove?

It starts with Kya getting her period and not quite knowing what is happening. Luckily she has Mabel to help her with it. Sexual desires are also shown throughout the novel - especially with Tate. I think Kya sees being a women more in biological terms - her body can have babies now. She relates to other women in Barkley cove by trying to look prettier by wearing her mother’s lipstick and dressing nicer.

7. Discuss Kya’s relationship with Tate. How does Tate’s understanding of Kya change over time? Is Tate a good partner for Kya? Why or why not?

Their relationship starts out with Tate leaving beautiful rare feathers for Kya on a stump by her house. Eventually he leaves her a note and some extra things for her boat. When they end up talking Kya reveals that she could not even read the note he gave her - so he vows to teach her to read. I think their relationship is really beautiful and he would be the perfect person for her - no one else understands the marsh like he does and they are both really into biology. I think after Tate goes to college he starts losing some of. his true self, which in turns leads to him losing his thoughts about staying with Kya. Years later he wants her back but I don’t think he understands the depth of how much he hurt hear by not coming back that 4th of July.

8. Tate’s father tells him that poems are important because "they make ya feel something" (p. 48). What does poetry mean to Tate? What does it mean to Kya? How does poetry help Kya throughout the novel?

To Tate poetry help understand emotions and to get in touch with them. To Kya poetry is. a means of escape from the lonely life. She writes to get her word out there and to relate situations to words.

9. On page 142, Kya watches the fireflies near her shack, and notices that the females can change their flashes to signal different things. What does this realization mean to Kya? What does it teach her about relationships? How does this lesson influence Kya’s decisions in the second half of the novel?

It shows Kya that people can be deceiving to get what they want in relationships. This really stands out with. Chase Andrews - he just stays around Kya so that he can eventually have his way with her and get what he wants.

10. Discuss how Kya’s observations of nature shape her vision of the world. Do you think these lessons adequately prepare her for life in Barkley Cove? Do you think human society follows the same rules as the natural world? Should it? Why or why not?

In human society there are consequences for some things that don’t have consequences in the natural world - like the bugs eating the male bugs after having sex. If you were to kill someone in human society - you don’t just get away with it like bugs do.

11. Is Chase a different kind of man than Tate? How are they different? Is one man better? Do you think that their differences are biological or learned? How does Kya see each man?

Chase is different from Tate because he is deceptive. When Tate didn’t come back that was horrible but at least while he was with Kya he wasn’t ashamed of her, physical touch isn’t the only thing he wanted (he loved her for her mind and personality as well), and he wasn’t seeing other people while they were together. I think their differences are more learned. Kya sees Tate as someone who abandoned her and she sees Chase as someone who eased her loneliness.

12. By the end of the novel, Kya has come to realize…

Most of what she knew, she’d learned from the wild. Nature had nurtured, tutored, and protected her when no one else would. If consequences resulted from her behaving differently, then they too were functions of life’s fundamental core (p. 363).

What does she mean? Do you agree with her philosophy? What do you think it means to be a good person? Do you think Kya is a good person? Why or why not?

A good person is someone who fights what they believe in and treats people with kindness. I absolutely think Kya is a good person - even with killing Chase because she was living in constant fear everyday because he tried to rape her. If he didn’t attack her first, she wouldn’t have killed him.

13. Were you surprised by the verdict in the Chase’s murder trial? What about by the ending of the novel? Do you agree with Tate’s final decision? Why or why not? 

I really thought the trial could go either way - the evidence they proposed for her being the killing was not solid enough to convict her. I do agree with Tate’s final decision - I think it’s best to keep everything a buried mystery.