#jk jk i love taliesin

[big-moon-little-moon]

so called TPK enjoyers once they realize their graph paper wife is a part of the P that's supposed to get TK-ed

bonus:

[localcryptic]

torn between "i need to draw my ocs at their lowest moments, suffering in agony, covered in blood, etc" and "i should draw my ocs in their dream home surrounded by loved ones and petting a cat"

[fatestitcherr]

i am losing my mind over them omg 

[utilitycaster]

This is going to be long and also not terribly well-edited or organized as I want to post it now but also want to watch The Unsleeping City in 45 minutes. Anyway welcome to why I have really loved Caduceus in the post-hiatus times especially, and particularly in Eiselcross, and how I think missing the mark with Caleb is a brilliant choice, and some thoughts about religion in D&D. Obviously everything I say is subjective and a reading of the text so to speak but the religion part will dip into my own projections so like...especially subjective.

Caduceus has, from the start, always been a unique and necessary perspective within the Mighty Nein, and he’s a voice that’s both desperately needed within the group while having many of his own limitations.

I’ve always shied away from the therapist interpretation. I think that’s to an extent how Caduceus sees himself at times - in fact, I think part of his current arc is that he’s starting to move away from that idea of himself - but the fact is he’s not actually in that role. No one really is and that’s a good thing; found family slash sort of coworkers is a good place to find a confidant, but for a capital-T Therapist you need someone outside that circle.

I’ve mentioned in passing a few times that while I get why some people, and especially ex-Catholics, find a lot of resonance with Essek, my own experience with religion maps incredibly well onto Caduceus. I grew up Jewish and moderately religious, and went to a Jewish school until high school and having most of my social circle within that community. And as most religious minorities can attest, there is a sense of one’s religion being tied up with familial duty or responsibility and dueling pressures to and to not assimilate. I still find a lot of meaning in some religious practices and still practice many of them, but I’ve definitely changed a lot of those practices due to my experiences in high school and especially college, sometimes for good reasons (ie, “this is not in line with the values I’m finding within myself as I gain experience in the world and engage with new perspectives”) and sometimes for more neutral/selfish ones (ie, “I don’t want to go to services on Friday night, I want to go out drinking with my friends.”) Caduceus is a cleric and has a personal relationship with his deity and I don’t think it’s at all in his nature to abandon that, but I think it is a relationship that is changing, and I can say from personal experience that’s even if it’s for the better, even if it’s an evolution rather than a rejection, changing traditions you were raised in because of the outside world is not easy. Anyway, I see a lot of my college self in Caduceus and what he’s going through now, and it is a very quiet and internal struggle but still an important and difficult one.

More generally, while Caduceus is young for a firbolg, he’s still got 80-100 years of experience with the life he once led and probably thought he’d lead for his entire life. His family ventured out, but as far as I can tell, always in the direct service of the Wildmother. Caduceus fulfilled that when he rescued his family. It’s no surprise that he’s felt a little adrift since then. Indeed I think he felt a little uncertain at various other points too - certainly when the party stole a boat in Nicodranas, and he indicated at various other times that he’d had doubts - and that has got to mess with the fact that he had those doubts even while he was on a mission for his family, given to him by his goddess. He apologized to his parents for wanting to continue adventuring, even though they were fully supportive of his decisions.

I’ve already talked about Caduceus changing in Eiselcross especially - finding other things out in the world that were perhaps not directly given to him by the Wildmother but which still could use his help, and changing some of his approaches as a cleric. He admitted to Lucien that he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be doing at this time, and again, that’s a really hard place to be, especially for someone like Caduceus. I am really excited to see how his experiences in Eiselcross and beyond change him.

Back to the limited perspective and his words to Caleb: one thing Caduceus has always excelled at is a sort of...kind disregard for politics. I think some of it is just not having the inclination or taste for mind games, which tend to require both a certain intricacy and a good amount of deception, neither of which Caduceus is good at nor likes. This has often served the party well - Caduceus was the one who got them to involve the Dynasty when the Laughing Hand got out, and he might be the one who is willing to pull in Essek despite others’ doubts. But there is a benefit to politics; there’s telling someone only what they want to hear, which can often be bad, but there is an element of telling people what they should hear in a way in which it will be received, and I don’t know if he’s mastered that either. An unique perspective is valuable, but it’s still only one perspective.

I suspect Caduceus’s feelings towards Caleb are more complex than “turn that frown upside down” (and in general what people say on Talks is going to be ooc, in modern and fairly casual terms, etc) but I also think he may be approaching Caleb from a grief counselor perspective, when trauma is a much different thing, and he may be ascribing intent where, as was said on Talks, this is just there in Caleb whether or not he wants it. And I think this is a great character choice from Taliesin (I really do hope he’s on Talks in two weeks)! Why would a cleric of mourning and how death affects the living have an extensive knowledge of Caleb’s experiences? He wouldn’t! I should note I think Caduceus’s advice has often been very good - towards Fjord as Fjord was reaching out to the Wildmother, and to Beau and Veth in the conversation after the hag encounter especially - and those were conversations about things like religious faith and familial relationships and one’s place on the world, which are things Caduceus has experience with or is going through himself.

I feel like I’ve called characters foils a whole lot now and I don’t think it even fits entirely here, but it is fascinating to contrast Caleb and Caduceus, one of whom has drastically changed his path multiple times, willingly and unwillingly, and one of whom is in the midst of great and unclear change. I think they have more in common than they necessarily believe, and I absolutely think Caduceus’s intentions have always been good, just lacking in some understanding (which I also think Veth and Beau have at times gotten wrong too, in different ways). But Caleb is someone who has understandable difficulty talking about his past, and Caduceus is someone who doesn’t always quite realize if he’s off the mark, and I don’t know if they will resolve this, because neither is in the wrong.

One of my favorite things about both campaigns of Critical Role but especially this one is how interestingly and believably characters misunderstand each other. It was one of my favorite things about the twins in Campaign 1, and it’s been a throughline among many different characters in Campaign 2. Like, if I say I think a PC is misunderstanding someone else, there is an unspoken “and I think that’s fascinating and I want to know what happens next”, and the fact that he’s only just realizing how much he’s changed and how much he might change and expand his horizons is one of my favorite things about Caduceus.

[onepinch]

and yet a trace of the true self (matt’s flawless irish accent)

exists in the false self (whatever taliesin was doing)

[commander-vas-normandy]

This is the only kind of reactions I am accepting for fics from now on XD

4

ENJOY YOUR FILTH FRIEND

Matt x gn!reader

18+ below the cut. MINORS DNI

Your heart stopped at the sound of a knock on the door. You started to pull away, but Matt’s stern hand on the back of your head held you in place. You whimpered and he gave your cheek a light smack.

“Come in,” he ordered, voice level as he spoke as if his cock wasn’t in your throat.

Your heart was racing in your ears, distracting you from anything else Matt and the other person were saying. It felt wrong to know someone was standing on the other side of the desk, completely unaware of your presence, but that didn’t stop the way your tongue teased Matt’s cock despite him holding you in place.

[greylunar]

Taliesin Blathers (extended edition)

Hello! This is mostly just for the people who have left me an ask/were interacting with me more regularly before the past month or so. I’m back! I don’t mean for this post to sound like I’m some hot shot youtuber or even have that many followers haha, but just to say that if you’ve reached out to me in the past couple weeks or sent an ask or haven’t received an answer for an ask you sent a while ago, its not because of anything you’ve done, I was just not able to use the computer for a while. I still want to try and answer all the asks I got about the HP quiz [I know it was eons ago but even if people don’t still care about it I still want to honor the fact you all deserve to have your asks answered], because it was something a lot of people cared about and something I put effort into, but I’m just gonna say if any body here supports JK’s views on trans folks things are gonna get real awkward real fast haha. That said, as none of my content on tumblr or the quiz directly support JK and the majority of it is just me continually dunking on the way that she set up the houses, I’m gonna keep going with it! If anyone has any suggestions of how they think I could best do this while actively not supporting J.K, I would love to hear them! And if anyone I guess came here from Harry Potter and is now curious about my experience being trans or why what J.K. said isn’t cool, send me an ask! This blog is always going to be a place of support and education, and I hope we can all continue to learn together and love one another. I hope you are all doing well, staying safe, rising up, and that you (as always) know you are loved c:

[tsanasreads]

Paused no longer: a recap of the last 3.5 months

Happy New Year, my lovely readers!

🍾🥂🎆🎇🎊🎉

I said I would probably be back in 2017, and I am. Turns out what I needed wasn't so much a break from blogging per se, but a break from feeling obliged to read. And the space to be completely unproductive in my spare time. Or something. 2016 was hard and often crappy. Here's hoping that 2016 is an improvement.

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In the last few months of 2016 I did not read very many books. I watched rather a lot of K-dramas and played rather a lot of board games. In total I ended up only reading 71 books in 2016. Most of them in the first half of the year. Here's a chart:

I was in Sweden for the first three months of the year, Australia for the second three months and Belgium for most of the last six months. Make of that what you will. Though I did end up seeing in the new year in Melbourne. Also, this year has had 3 summers and 3 winters, more or less. If a seasonal body clock was a thing, mine would be very confused.

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Anyway, I wanted to say a bit about the books I read that didn't get reviews. Two of the books I read I did review and those will be going up in the next few days. I will skip those now. The other books I read were:

Of Power, Politics and Pesky Poltergeists by JK Rowling

Of Heroism, Hardship and Dangerous Hobbies by JK Rowling

Chimera by Mira Grant

Skin by Ilke Tampke

Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger

Poison or Protect by Gail Carriger

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secretes Illustrated Edition by JK Rowling

Seeing Red (Ambassador 1) by Patty Jansen

Daughters of the Storm by Kim Wilkins — review coming

Mars Evacuees by Sophia McDougall — review coming

The two Hogwarts books were interesting and pretty much what I expected after reading the first one. I live in hope that one day we'll get a complete (paper) edition of all the worldbuilding and backstory that JK didn't put into the actual books. I suppose for now that's on hold because of the Fantastic Beasts movies. Chimera by Mira Grant was the conclusion to the Parasitology which I enjoyed and which was a satisfying conclusion. When I finished it, I contemplated trying to write a review and found that I didn't have much to say that I hadn't either said in a review of the first two books or that wasn't a spoiler. So. Read that series if you like SF horror and don't mind reading about a tapeworm apocalypse. Or if you liked Newsflesh but thought there was too much US politics in it. Skin by Ilke Tampke was a gorgeous historical fantasy set in pre-Roman Britain and featuring such side characters as Taliesin. It's probably the book I regret not reviewing the most, but it didn't happen at the time and now it's too late. It was really good, though, and I am very much looking forward to reading the sequel when it comes out (later this year, I hope). The review should have also counted towards my Australian Women Writers Challenge. Alas. Romancing the Inventor and Poison or Protect by Gail Carriger were romance novellas set in the Soulless/Finishing School universe. The first featuring a long-awaited f/f HEA for Genevieve and the latter featuring Preshea and showing us that she's not all bad, despite being Saphronia's school antagonist. Both were fun reads, as one would expect from Carriger. Read them if you have enjoyed either of her series. I look forward to more novellas to come. The Illustrated Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling and Jay Kay was, obviously, the same story we all know and love with the addition of gorgeous artwork. I enjoyed it, but I think I liked the illustrations in Philosopher's Stone more. Maybe that was just because they were more novel, though. I did discover that you can line up the Diagon Alley illustrations from the two books and get a super long Diagon Alley, so that was cool. Seeing Red by Patty Jansen is a science fiction novel I've been meaning to read for ages and finally got around to. I enjoyed it but didn't feel a burning need to read the sequel immediately. I am actually more keen to read Soldier's Duty, which is set in the same world but a different time period.

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And as for reading goals this year. Well. I want to avoid burning out again and don't want to put too much pressure on myself and risk enjoying the reading less. Right now, it's important to me to actually enjoy the things I do since a lot of 2016 wasn't enjoyable. (Don't get me wrong, there were high points like the release of Defying Doomsday, finishing my PhD and seeing friends.) But at the same time I'm not ready to completely give up the blog. So my goal is going to be to read and review at least one book a week. I toyed with choosing a day to regularly post the review, but I'm not sure what will end up working best. Also, I hope to read more that that, but that's the bare minimum I will not hate myself for meeting. Or something. In the meantime, keep and eye out for a few reviews next week. Two from last year and one that I've got a head start on since I ended the year very close to the end of An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows. Oh, and one more resolution: I plan to put down books I'm not enjoying more easily. More DNF and less feeling guilty about it. Something I've been trying to work towards for a few years now. Which means that right now I'm going to do a purge of my currently reading lists on LT and GR and move the books I'm halfway through to a DNF shelf in iBooks. Cue determination. Content imported from Blogger http://ift.tt/2iRTD3G. If you would like to leave a comment, please do so at the aforementioned link.

[adventures-in-lyres]

Yesssss go fjorddddd

Its ok beau. You're getting info. Oh shit. 20 misses

22 misses. Shit. Yall are fucked

83 damage damn. Oh no. Matt laughed. Oh no. Holy shit butterfliesssss cuteeeeeee

100. You boss bitch...I love you.

The despondent yup is so sad.

Oh nooooooo wisdom saves again

Beau. Whyyyy

Ahhhhhhh 18 fails.

Slowed isnt bad. Not the worst. De-monked

Half a monk.

Whoops. Fucked up. Saved by prone. Taliesin is tryin so hard to keep all you dumb babies safe.

Ashley is the best hobbit.

Oh my god. You're gonna banana peel the robit.

Rage yasha rage.

Curse that fucker. Jk oh God youre gonna die. Pls no. Fjord. You just found love.

Oh no. Poor babyyy

What the fuck is on your flask sam

Cool monk shit pls work

Oh thank God. You did it. You're up there but now what. Oh thank God you're freeee.

Yay sacred flame did a thing

Calebbbbb save the very stabbed fjord

Oof ouch

Banishment again serves that fucker right

Oh no.

Awww healing spell from jester

Holy fuck one minute in and beauyasha content Holy fuck

[vexie-chan]

Nah I'm with you...

In D&D, depending on the DM, permadeath is a choice. One of my husband's characters died and he and the DM discussed their options. They chose to let the party quest to bring him back and whether or not he was rezzed was dependent on the success of the party.

It sounds like Matt is the same way, from things they've said on Talks. They discuss how they want to deal with their characters. Liam chose to let Vax remain dead. As I wrote when Taliesin had Caduceus decompose Molly, he let Molly go. He chose to lay that character to rest.

This doesn't mean that they loved those characters less. Liam loves Vax a LOT and that was evident in his play as Liev, and Taliesin has talked about what Molly meant to him. But they let them go. And it's disrespectful to force them into a place where they HAVE TO rez those characters. It's disrespectful to be angry at them for their narrative choice for THEIR character.

It sucks to see your favorite die-believe me, I know. There was a while where every fav i fell in love with ended up dying. It sucks to not have a favorite around anymore. I get that. But robbing them of their death is not the solution. To insinuate that you can't keep loving a character because they're gone is actually pretty sad, if you think about it.

But that's how life works and that's how fiction should work. Neither Vax nor Molly was a poorly written death created for shock and awe (looking at you, jk rowling), they weren't done as plot devices. They died as people do. It's not always fair, but that's life.

These characters aren't ours. Death does not mean a loss of love for them or us. Respect the creators and their choices.

Under this read-more lies a very controversial opinion (you have been warned) that I’m sure many of my followers don’t share, and it’s only my opinion and I don’t mean to tell other people what to theorize or think about things but I had to get something off my chest, just from my point of view:

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