#jj maybank blog

[jjsmermaid]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

⋆.˚౨ৎ just a girl who luvs her obx boys and needs to let her thoughts out and wants to hear your thoughts as well<3 jesse james maybank believer! rafe cameron apologist (ik ik)

masterlist

canon events aren’t always followed when i write!

this blog is 18+ only ! minors please dni !

[obx-archives]

maybank-archives just got a glow up! also hello to the new friends, thank everyone for all the support! :)

[maybanksprincess]

satisfy you

warnings: 18+, smut, cheating, p in v sex, pet names, kissing, squirting, drinking.

summary: reader is dating rafe, and he isnt satisfying her needs, jj offers to help.

pairings: nice!kook!reader x pogue!jj

you attended this big bonfire that everyone went to every single year in the outer banks.

if you lived in the outerbanks you knew that bonfires were the core place that drama started.

usually you would go to drink one or two beers, have fun, and dance with your friends a little. but this time that wasnt the case.

Rafe had been getting closer with this bartender from the country club, and it was really starting to weigh down on you.

you tried to ignore it at first, but he had started going to the country club a lot more often, more than usual. and he stopped touching you all together.

first he stopped fucking you as often, but then it quickly turned into just no attention or affection from him at all. and it really hurt.

you went to this party to get wasted, and forget about all your problems, even if it was temporary.

you drunk a few beers, and downed a couple shots, now a bit tipsy from the alcohol floating in your system.

you were sitting in the grass, knees pressed up to your chest, back up against a oak tree with a few carvings on the bark of it.

your just staring at everyone partying and having fun, zoning out and just lost in your thoughts.

your snapped out of your thoughts as you see a fit blonde walk in your direction, stopping beside you.

"sup, can i sit?" the blonde asks

"yeah, of course." i look up at him and scoot over, making room.

as he sat next to me in the grass i smelled a mixture of alcohol and weed on him.

"so, what are you doin' alone at a bonfire?" he asks while giving you a once over, admiring the sight of ur curves in that dress.

"jus' trying to get my mind off things, you know?" i look up, finally locking eyes with him.

"yeah? things like what? i bet ur pretty little kook life is awesome." he says as he brings the joint between his fingers to his lips, taking a puff out of it.

"kook life really isnt all that great jay. not as great as you think" you say with a hint of vulnerability behind your words.

"it actually sucks," you continue "all the girls are mean. all they care about is money, and their boyfriends fancy cars. and all the kooks are assholes."

he puffs out the smoke, exhaling and listening to your rambling.

"i just feel like..im stuck in bubble wrap sometimes. i dunno if that makes sense" you put your head down, feeling like you said too much.

he turns so hes sitting in front of you, his face in front of yours.

"y'know its okay to get outta the bubble wrap sometimes..." he says, his eyes trailing to the hint of exposed cleavage from ur dress.

you dont know if it was the alcohol in your system or the way he was looking at you, but damn, he was so hot.

you find yourself staring, and look away, until he uses his index finger to tilt your chin back so your face meets his.

you felt a familiar pooling between your legs, but it wasn't like the pooling that happened when rafe was around.

you barely got turned on by rafe by the way he treated you, literally having to beg him to touch you most of the time. he couldn't commit to one woman, and the better of you knew that. you just couldn't seem to let him go.

i involuntarily clench my thighs, and it doesn't go unnoticed by jj, his eyes dart down to the exposed skin on your thighs.

his cargo shorts start to tighten, as if he wasnt already hard when he first approached.

you and jj start to pass the blunt, and eventually the tension becomes too much, the weed and alcohol is floating in your systems, and you find yourselves leaning into eachother.

your lips eventually meet, and it only escalates from there.

at first it was sweet and slow, but then it quickly got hot and heavy, your tongues tangling together.

you straddle his lap, grinding your clothed core against his bulge that was straining in his shorts. his hands start to grope your ass, as his dick seeks more friction from you.

he groans, and his arms hook under your thighs, he pushes himself off the ground, supporting your weight easily.

he carries you over to the twinkie, all the other pogues are still occupied out at the bonfire partying.

he uses one hand to open the sliding door, and lays you flat on your back on the surface of the backseat. he shuts the car door and he wastes no time in connecting your lips with his again.

in between kisses, he mutters out "'m gonna fuck you so good, ya gonna forget rafe exists."

following his words, he unbuckles his shorts and slides them down his legs, kicking them to the side, along with his boxers.

you look down at his dick and your eyes widen. you've never took dick that big before, fuck you were panicking.

he smirks at your reaction, and he slides your dress down your thighs, and off, tossing it where his boxers were. he lowers his face to angle it down with yours, his arms on either side of your head.

he strokes his hard cock, his tip leaks salty white precum on your thighs. his hands go down to the waistband of your panties and he hooks his fingers into it.

"can i take these off, pretty girl?" he asks, his ocean blue eyes boring into yours.

you nod, breathing getting heavy, the pool between your legs intensifying by the second. you were really about to get fucked by jj maybank.

you almost couldn't believe it, you both came from totally opposite sides, he grew up in the cut and you didnt. it was weird, but in that moment you didnt care.

all you cared about was getting his dick inside of you.

with the fingers that are hooked in ur panties, he slides them down your thighs with. he tosses ur panties and his eyes zero in on your spread pussy.

he groans, his cock jumping at the sight. he spreads your thighs some more, and the sudden feeling of a warm substance hitting your pussy shakes you out of your thoughts.

you look down to see his cock leaking precum onto your clit.

he spreads his precum on your folds with his tip, you both moaning at the situation. he lines his tip with your entrance and he pushes himself in.

as he slowly pushes in, he dips his head down to kiss your neck to soothe the slight pain from the stretch of his thick, girthy, cock.

he whimpers against your neck at the feeling of your tight walls fluttering around his member.

he starts to slowly thrust in and out, before his thrusts become faster and deeper. you grab onto his shoulders as a leverage, even though you weren't going to fall.

as he continues to thrust in and out of your sopping pussy, he speaks, his voice muffled by your neck. "mm what a fuckin' shame. that kook passed up the chance to fuck this pussy?"

you moan at his words, the stretch of his dick, the sound of his voice, the way his hand comes down to rub your clit, its all too much.

you start to see stars as you throw your head back, pussy clamping down on his cock. your moans and his groans fill the twinkie. the car rocking with every thrust, due to however old the junk was.

his tip nudges the spongy spot inside your pussy that makes you squirm, you start to whimper and let out long moans, signaling your close.

jj can tell by the way your clamping down on him, and the way your eyes roll back, that your close. he starts to thrust into you at a relentless speed, rubbing your clit rapidly, meeting your lips in a heated kiss.

you shout into his mouth "fuck jj!"

he smirks against your lips, pulling away for a brief moment to speak, his speed never faltering "cmon baby; tell me i fuck you better than rafe." he breathes out

i moan, tears flowing out of your eyes "fuck yes, so much better!" your eyes roll back again

he feels your nails scratching at his back, desperately trying to hold onto something. "yeah? who do u belong to now, hm?"

"you jayjay.." you barely manage to get out with the tears flowing out of your eyes.

he kisses your forehead gently, still slamming into your pussy. "cmon, give it t'me princess. cum for me baby."

following his words, you feel a unfamiliar gush of liquid come out of your hole. you've never done that before. it feels different but it feels so damn good.

you scream out, continuing to squirt on his cock.

he thrusts a few more times, groaning and moaning as he cums on your tummy, "your mine now. my fuckin' girl."

after he comes down from his high, he pulls his phone out, and snaps a picture with the flash, adding a text to it that says "jus made your girl squirt, looks like shes mine now, kook 😎"

he sends it to rafe, and then he helps u back into ur dress, then puts his shorts back on after.

"y'know i meant what i said, ur mine now." he seals his words with a quick kiss.

[princessbrunette]

ᡣ𐭩 ｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅PRINCESSBRUNETTES SCREAM SALON INTRODUCES … ໒꒰ྀི ˃̵ ࿁ ˂̵ ꒱ྀིა

PICTURE YOU ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃

♩chappell roan — picture you ♩

pairing: pervy pope, jj, john b x reader

cw: sexual fantasies, the pogues being peeping toms, masturbation.

you are responsible for your own media consumption. welcome to kinktober day five. better late than never!

pope knew was he was doing was wrong. you were his neighbour for christs sake.

at the end of the day, he was but a man— and whilst he had no intention of stooping to full pervert level like this, he had slipped up and bragged to the wrong people, AKA — jj maybank, about how his fine ass neighbour had a certain… routine, every friday night… and would leave her bedroom blinds open for it.

the regret fully kicked in when he opened his front door, seeing the excited expression on his two best friends faces.

“no. i shouldn’t have told you.” is how pope greets them.

“dude it’s fine,” jj reiterates, easily moving past him in the entrance to his house with a clap on the shoulder, an only slightly less enthused john b following closely behind with an awkward but willing smile. “we’re not gonna watch. we’re just gonna… like — happen to glance out the window. while she’s flickin’ the bean.”

“thats — that doesn’t make it any more okay.” pope stresses, following his friends up to his bedroom.

“look, she leaves her blinds open right? isn’t that what you said? have you maybe considered that… possibly, and hear me out on this… she wants to be watched?” john b, usually the voice of reason finds it in himself to convince pope just that little more, wide puppy-like eyes doing most of the convincing. he’s probably the only reason pope hasn’t grabbed them both by the scruff of the neck and hauled them out.

the night goes on, and honestly — the perverted plan is nearly forgotten about until their attention is brought to the window just across from popes, the lamp switching on as you arrived home from work. john b swivels on popes desk chair, nodding his head toward the sight with a whistle.

“oop, shows starting.”

“honey, i’m home.” jj sings out in a high pitched voice, excited for what’s to come.

“you’re so much better than this, john b.” pope deadpans, double taking at jj as he switches off the lights to the bedroom sending them all into darkness. “what the hell?”

“do you wanna get caught creepin’ on your neighbour? no? didn’t think so.”

“you done this before jayj?” there’s a lilt of teasing to the brunettes voice as his blonde counterpart grabs a seat and drags it up beside him, the young adults gathered as they watch your figure dart around the room going about your nightly activities.

“shh.”

the boys curse, ducking down slightly when you suddenly appear at your window, fingers grazing the blinds. they stay deadly still in the dark, barely even breathing as to not draw attention to the fact they’re gathered round to watch you. you look pensive, hesitant, like you’re about to draw the blinds and shut the world out and yet… you don’t. you back away, leaving them open.

“huh.” pope breathes, glancing at his wavy haired friend.

“likes an audience. interesting.” routledge hums, voice deep and breathy.

you begin to undress, and they swear the air in the room gets thicker. peeling your leggings down your legs like they’d been painted onto you for the day creates an audible reaction from your neighbour and his friends, jj even going as far as to stick his knuckle in his mouth.

“god damn.” he garbles, earning a hum of agreement.

“oh you really lucked out here pope. the only neighbour i ever had was a 70 year old woman. trust me when she left her blinds open you look the other way.” john b doesn’t remove his eyes from the scene as he recounts the anecdote, causing pope to screw up his face.

the truth was, pope did have his own fantasies and perversions. he told himself time and time again, he wasn’t watching. he was at his desk first, you left your blinds open. visions of you at the library you worked at, helping him with research in that little mini skirt he saw you wear once. bending over to rummage shelves, sweet fat crescent of your pussy on display through your panties. pope would have no choice but to take you right there on the table behind the bookshelves, the two of you trying to stay quiet as he disappears between your thighs, seeking out that sweet nectar…

when he snaps out of it, you’re already on the bed, in perfect eyeshot of the window. just you, that dim lamp that made your skin seem to glow, an oversized tshirt and some panties.

“you guys don’t feel wrong doing this?” pope speaks in a hushed voice like you might be able to hear.

“how could something so right be so wrong, my friend?” jj pulls out a joint to stick into his mouth, only to have it plucked from his lips and tossed aside by the heyward boy.

“i’m drawing a line.”

“alright, that’s fair.”

“you guys are missing it.” john b hums, entranced by the way you palm at your tits through the top, eyes fluttering shut as your body starts to relax into the bed. “putting on a show for us.”

silence falls upon them finally as they stare, your hands trailing down to lift the hem of your shirt up and over your breasts, massaging the fat and plucking at the nipples.

“oh wow.” pope breathes, jj breaking out into a grin.

“this is some american pie shit right here.”

“grow up.”

“i’m just saying.”

it seems like forever before your hands reach down to your panties, fingers gingerly dusting over the thin fabric of what appears to be baby blue panties with a pink bow at the top centre. jj even swears he can see the gloss of your arousal on your open thighs from where he’s sat. you begin to rub yourself through the material, teasingly and you pull your bottom lip beneath your teeth, sucking in a breath.

“th’atta girl.” john b murmurs, and the air in the room suddenly feels too hot, too stifling. it wasn’t this hot five minutes ago.

“its like i… can’t look away.” pope justifies in just above a whisper, finally perching down to a more comfortable view, watching the way your head tosses side to side, back arching just that little bit as you try and find a better angle. patience leaves you, and you’re pulling the panties off all together.

“would you look at that.” jj marvels, before glancing at his two friends. “y’all mind if i jerk off real quick?”

“what?” pope screws up his face, and john b glances at him.

“yeah, uh. i mind.”

“it can’t wait?” pope adds, shaking his head and jj throws up his hands.

“i thought that’s what we were doing’ here alright my bad!” he dodges john b’s disapproving swat, eyes wide. “oh that’s where you draw the line? y’all are not real freaks.”

“no.” john b shakes his head, pope chiming in with a “thank god.”

but as their attention lands on you once more, your fingers sinking into that glossy hole — they begin to really reconsider their choice.

[psychoticfemmm]

waves and whispers

pairing: Rafe Cameron x Maybank!reader

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of gold and violet. The salty breeze swept through your hair as you walked barefoot along the shore, the cool water lapping gently at your feet. The beach was quiet, save for the rhythm of the waves and the distant cry of seagulls. It felt like you had the whole world to yourself.

Well, almost.

You could feel Rafe’s presence beside you—warm, familiar, and undeniably close. He had been quiet for a while now, just walking at your pace, hands stuffed into his pockets as he stole glances your way when he thought you weren’t looking.

“What?” you asked, laughing softly, catching him in the act.

Rafe grinned, the kind of smile that made your stomach do flips. “Nothing,” he teased, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

“Uh-huh. Sure,” you replied, nudging him playfully with your shoulder. The two of you had spent the entire day together—swimming, joking around, and lounging under the sun. But now, as the day faded into night, something about the air felt different. Charged.

“Come here,” Rafe suddenly said, his voice quieter now.

Before you could question him, he took your hand gently in his, pulling you just a little closer. The world around you seemed to blur—the golden sky, the whispering waves, the fading sun—and all you could focus on was him. His blue eyes held you there, soft yet intense, like he was trying to memorize every detail about you.

“Rafe,” you whispered, your heart racing.

He didn’t say anything. Instead, his hand came up to brush a loose strand of hair from your face, his fingers grazing your skin and sending chills down your spine. You felt the heat of him, so close now, and your breath hitched as his gaze dropped to your lips.

“I’ve wanted to do this all day,” he murmured, so low you barely caught it.

And then he kissed you.

It was soft at first, his lips capturing yours gently, like he was savoring the moment. But as you leaned into him, your arms wrapping around his neck, the kiss deepened. Rafe’s hands settled on your waist, pulling you flush against him as the waves crashed softly at your feet. The whole world melted away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect, fleeting moment.

“What the hell?!”

The voice cut through the moment like a knife, and you froze, pulling back from Rafe with wide eyes. You knew that voice.

JJ.

Your older brother stood a few yards away, his expression a mixture of disbelief, anger, and… yeah, mostly anger. His blonde hair was windblown, his hands clenched into fists as he took a step forward.

“JJ—” you started, your cheeks burning.

JJ pointed a finger at Rafe, his eyes narrowing into a glare. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Him? You’re kissing Rafe Cameron?”

Rafe tensed beside you, his jaw clenching. “Back off, Maybank,” he muttered, trying to stay calm, but you could feel the tension radiating from him.

JJ let out a bitter laugh, completely ignoring Rafe’s words. “Oh, I’m sorry—am I interrupting your little romantic moment?” His voice dripped with sarcasm, but his eyes were locked on you now, disappointment flashing through them. “What are you doing with him? Of all people, Y/N?”

“JJ, it’s not what it looks like,” you stammered, though even you knew how ridiculous that sounded. It was exactly what it looked like.

JJ scoffed, shaking his head. “Not what it looks like? I just saw you two practically swallowing each other’s faces!”

You groaned, embarrassed beyond belief. Rafe, however, stepped forward, his voice steady but low. “You don’t need to talk to her like that, Maybank.”

JJ turned his glare on Rafe, squaring his shoulders. “And you don’t need to be anywhere near her.”

“JJ, stop!” you said sharply, stepping between the two of them before things could escalate. “You don’t get to decide who I spend my time with.”

JJ’s expression faltered just slightly, his anger giving way to something softer—protectiveness. “I’m your brother, Y/N. It’s my job to look out for you. And this guy?” He shot another glare at Rafe. “He’s bad news.”

Rafe let out a humorless laugh behind you. “Classic.”

“Rafe,” you muttered, giving him a warning look before turning back to your brother. “You don’t have to like him, JJ, but you do have to trust me.”

JJ stared at you for a long moment, torn between his instincts and his trust in you. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t like this. At all. But fine. I trust you. Not him.”

He shot one last glare at Rafe before turning on his heel. “You’re lucky she’s here to stop me,” he muttered as he walked off down the beach.

The tension hung heavy in the air as JJ’s figure disappeared in the distance, leaving just you and Rafe once more. You let out a shaky breath, turning to face him.

“Well,” you said, trying to lighten the mood, “that went great.”

Rafe smirked, shaking his head as he tucked his hands back into his pockets. “You really think that’s the worst reaction I’ll get? I’m just getting started with the Maybank family drama, aren’t I?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped. “You have no idea.”

Rafe grinned, pulling you close again. “Worth it,” he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

And somehow, despite the chaos that had just unfolded, you couldn’t help but agree.

[erwinsvow]

when you start dating pope, it’s like you’ve also started dating jj. they come as a joint package, which you kind of already knew but not to this extent. jj almost always crashes your dates, shows up to the picnic you packed and spread out on a towel at the beach, starts snacking on the heart-shaped fruit you’d cut up for pope. sometimes the two of you ditch dinner because he needs to run to go help one of this friends—more often than not, it’s jj. even when you’re just cuddling in pope’s room, sneaking up there to be alone even though his parents know and love you, you’ll hear the roar of jj’s bike and groan into pope’s chest.

if you’re annoyed (besides for the occasional whine) you don’t show it to your boyfriend. this is his best friend, and by association, should be your friend too. you welcome him to everything you and pope are doing, pack extra food just in case, make pope buy a large cream when he really wanted a small because you know jj will eat the rest.

it’s nice, you’re beginning to think. you just want pope to be pleased with you—which he always is. you don’t understand the implications of this little trio you’ve become a part of until a little later.

in pope’s truck, smooshed in the front between pope driving and jj in the passenger seat. you’ve been driving for what feels like ages, listening to the two boys talk back and forth, cracking jokes and making each other laugh. you’re too sleepy to engage, quietly watching the road ahead for as long as you could before your head dips and settles onto pope’s shoulder.

“hey, pretty girl-” pope starts, trying to shift his arm to keep the wheel stable. “we’re almost there, don’t fall asleep on me now.”

you mumble something indecipherable against his shirt, when you hear jj speak up.

“nah, man, let her sleep. who knows what kinda freaky shit you put her through. she needs to rest.” you barely understand him, just hearing your boyfriend and his friend exchange words quietly, laughing.

“jj, help me out here so i can drive,” and you feel yourself being moved from pope’s shoulder by big, warm hands on your arm and then on your waist. you don’t resist, only pull away from jj’s touch to give pope a kiss on the cheek, before leaning away from him and melting into jj’s grip, head against his chest, his arm around your shoulder and hand playing with your hair. you’ve never thought about it before, but jj smells really good—not exactly the pine and saltwater and cotton scent of pope, but musky like the forest and the sand at the beach. you’re out within a minute, chest rising and falling evenly and quiet snores filling the truck.

jj stares down at you in his arms for a little too long, and then looks up at pope, who’s looking at the two of you. they both smile.

[letsyapthenightaway]

OuterBanks x reader idea

New season spoiler!

I haven't seen the new season of Outer Banks but I need a kook plus-size reader who has always been there for the pogues. She fit in well with Kooks and Pogues. But the Kooks are too stuck up to see past her looks and the Pogues are too in their heads to see that she understands them.

Stood by them no matter what, was the one who thought things through. Kinda like the mom of the group but also seen as too naive? Ditzy? Idk but she was always put in last place.

Maybe she liked Pope then JJ but they both chose Kiara, maybe some jealousy towards her? Whenever she would say something even if right it would get overlooked. She's had her fair share of interactions with Rafe, she doesn't like what he's done but she also sees him differently than the others because something about her makes him wanna be open to her.

I know Rafe has a love interest in the new season but the reader was always the one he would look for. Even with their differences she would give him advice, comfort him, and he would be protective of her.

Again! I haven't seen the newest season idk the context of JJ's death or how the pogues react. But just going off what I'm imagining reader is hurt. Still, she puts the pogues in front of herself making sure they are all okay. Maybe they all once again overlook her ways of helping them.

Idk if I want Rafe to call them all out on this dynamic they have, causing her to finally break down in front of everyone as he comforts her. Or have him speak to her in private like how they usually do but this time instead of her helping him it's him helping her.

I'm about to sit down and watch the new season just so I can see if I can write this. If someone else does write this please let me know so I can read it!

[watchyourmouthorgetslapped]

We got more JJPope in the first 5 episodes of this season than in all of s3. We're so back.

[r-cameron]

pov: you just like looking at him but won't admit it

[beautyinsteadofashes]

obx + text posts

[macicameron]

intro 𓇼

my name is maci cameron!!

my family: rafe, sarah, ward, wheezie.

my friends are: kiara, john b, cleo.

18, obsessed with pink, music, summer, the beach, taylor swift, late night walks !!

old men, old women, please dont send nudes or dm me <3

admin to oc: @maybanksprincess

inbox: open <3

dms: open <3

[enemiestolovershoe]

Masterlist

my wattpad

💋 Smut

🍒 Fluff

🎸Angst

Friendship and Desire 💋

Unspoken Feelings 💋

New Beginnings , Pt 2 ����

Unexpected Firsts 🍒💋

Silent Tension 🍒🎸

Tent of Temptation 💋

From Batter to Better 🍒🎸

Double the Joy 🍒

(Best Friends only!)

I‘m here 🍒

Out of my Cage 🍒🎸

Breaking Point 🍒🎸

Not such a silent night 💋

Unexpected Truth 💋

Caught in-between two shores 💋🎸

Beneath the Bruises 🍒🎸

More than just friends 🍒

Crash Into Love 🍒

Forever Starts Tonight 🍒

Crossed Tides 🎸

All this Time 🍒🎸

A Saturday to Remember 🍒🎸

Entangled with the Enemy 💋

Unintentional Rivalry 🍒🎸

Subtle's Overrated 🍒

Drummer's Desire 💋

coming soon

[starkeyshirt]

Manipulated

little! rafe cameron

caregivers! the pogues

in which rafe is manipulated by more people than just his father.

tw//: manipulation, low self esteem, guilt, feeling unwanted, pushing, talk of drug use (cocaine).

<<•>>

When people hear of Rafe Cameron, their minds drift to the cocaine addicted, polo shirt wearing, bad tempered young man with a rich dad and a pretty sister. Those who know him better think of a cold blooded killer, the guilty suspect in Sheriff Peterkin's murder and an accomplice in several others. But truly, do any of those people really know Rafe Cameron?

Rafe Cameron is a boy with a complex personality, substance abuse issues, and a devotion to his father. It's hard to look at such a bad person and think, "Hmm, maybe he's just misunderstood." But the truth about Rafe is that he isn't a bad person; he's a lost boy with daddy issues to a point causing damage beyond repair.

Throughout his entire life, Rafe has wanted to please his father. He wanted to draw the pictures in art class he thought his father would like and do good in the subjects his father enjoyed. He wanted to beat his sister in making his father a father's day breakfast or in buying him a new watch. Rafe wanted to hear his father tell him he was proud of him. He wanted his fathers trust and love, he wanted to be useful and needed with every step he took.

Rafe was never a mean kid. When he was a little boy he didn't have many friends and he didn't like going to school. The other kook boys were loud and obnoxious and uncaring, and Rafe was quieter with a lazier personality. When he first started kindergarten, being his father's only child attending school at the time, he cried every day when his father picked him up and clung to him for dear life. He couldn't tell anyone why; it was that childish urge to hold onto your parents and cry and never let go. He didn't want to be in school wearing polos and khaki pants, he just wanted to be at home with his daddy.

Then one day, when Rafe came crying to his father at the end of the school day, Ward Cameron didn't bend down and scoop his distraught son into a comforting hug. Rafe could tell his father was on the phone, and even though he took his hand and led him to the truck, his father paid him no attention whatsoever. As Rafe sniffled in the backseat, he listened to his father's phone call. It was something about Sarah being upset with whatever babysitter had to watch her while their dad was at work. When they picked his crying little sister up and his father cuddled her and talked to her and comforted her the whole way home, little Rafe felt anger for the very first time. He hated his sister and his father for liking her more.

That night while she slept, Rafe cut a chunk of her hair out with safety scissors.

Rafe was never the same after that day, and he was suddenly aware of the dynamics in their household. Sarah always came first, Rafe was always second. Sarah didn't have to compete for anything, but Rafe sure did. He learned to really and truly hate his sister, to take everything from her that he could in hopes that his father would someday realize he was just as good of a person.

As he grew older, Rafe also grew erratic, impulsive, and emotionally unstable. He received little to no love from his father by the time he was nine, but he still spent every waking moment trying to receive that praise that only Ward could give him. And we all know how things went from there.

Rafe was aware of the things he's done; he knew he was wrong and the guilt ripped away at him everyday. But there were things about Rafe that nobody knew; people controlling him who weren't his father.

•••

Rafe didn't know what he was supposed to do. His brain was short circuiting, but he knew Barry was pissed.

"You do realize what you did, right man? By hurting the guy, you're putting a target on my back, Country Club!" Barry yelled, shoving his finger into Rafe's chest. He watched him quiver.

"I- I didn't know what to do! He was gonna kill him!" Rafe stuttered back, shoving his arms forward in a weak attempt at proving his point.

Barry laughed and rolled his eyes. "That's what you signed up for!"

"I changed my mind..." Rafe mumbled, rocking forward to place his head in his hands. Tears welled at his eyes and his chest was stinging.

Barry knew how to work Rafe. He had his brain wired so he performed when he needed him to but also in a way that Barry could trigger when he crashed. And Barry liked to think he was the only person who could control Rafe in that way; he helped Rafe discover that softness, and he was the only one who could access it.

Rafe's abandonment from his father caused strains on his mental state. A lifetime of fighting for his father's praise, competing for his love - well, that left very little time for a childhood or any way to relax. Barry saw it before Rafe even knew it happened. When Rafe reaches his breaking point and emotions spill from his eyes, that's when Barry can see his mind drifting away; it's a clear switch of mindsets, of headspaces, that Barry recognized well. Something he has used for leverage in many deals, and he could use said leverage to control Rafe.

The first time it ever happened, Rafe was terrified. He couldn't understand what had changed; one second he was freaking out with frustration tears flowing down his cheeks and a heat in his chest, and the next he was being shushed on the drug dealer's shoulder, soaking his shirt with sobs.

Rafe had never let himself be so weak in front of anyone before, not since that last time in kindergarten when he cried on his father's shoulder. He didn't understand what was different either, he didn't feel the switch in his brain - and if he did, he didn't understand it. All he knew was suddenly, he was encapsulated in a warm embrace much like the one he daydreamed about for many years and he had a distinct warm, calming feeling in his chest. His mind was quiet, and things were peaceful until he woke up the next morning and lost his shit again.

Things only became routine when Barry threatened him. When Barry turned him in because he was trying to be resilient against whatever mind games were being played on him, but Rafe learned his lesson. Barry was in control and he had proved that, and when he returned to the Outer Banks, Rafe came back to him like a kicked puppy with his tail between his legs.

Since that day, Barry has felt like a god; he held the remote to control Rafe Cameron, the rich and completely mentally unstable young man with a bad temper and a quick impulse to shoot a gun. Every time he visited Barry, he was freaking out. And every time he was freaking out, Barry did the same thing he did that night before he turned him in: Barry held him and let him cry into his shoulder, he whispered soft things into his ear and Rafe's mind melted away. Rafe would hug Barry tight and embrace himself in having at least one person he felt he could hold onto.

And then Barry would let him sleep in his trailer, he would share his bed and let Rafe lay with his head on his chest. Rafe didn't talk much when he felt like this, but Barry made up for it. He talked nonsense and told him stories Rafe would forget when he woke up in the morning. Rafe would never admit that he enjoyed the relaxation this weird situation brought him, but every morning after, when he was snapped out of his little daze and back into reality, he was always scared and furious. He always felt out of control of his own body and he usually had to break something to feel better.

Rafe felt the familiar fog in his chest starting to well up as he avoided Barry's gaze. He had never felt that way when Barry was angry before; he had only ever fallen into that mindset when Barry was hugging him or saying nicer things. Rafe didn't know what to make of himself, mostly because he didn't trust his mouth to say what his brain wanted it to and partly because he was afraid Barry would hurt him.

  "Are you even listening? Nah nah, don't be starting that baby shit with me, Country Club. Get the hell out of here, man!" Barry shoved Rafe away from his trailer by his chest.

Rafe stumbled, glancing at Barry with a dull and blank look of confusion and highness, but layers of sadness and guilt hid underneath. He could hear Barry shouting as he stumbled away, although he couldn't make out what he was yelling; he was far too busy watching his own far away feet to notice. He felt like he was drunk, his vision blurring and his mind not comprehending right. Rafe didn't know where to go, either. He couldn't walk back to Tannyhill from Barry's, it was much too far. And he didn't really know anybody who lived on the cut.

Rafe started thinking about the things Barry used to talk about when he felt like this. He mumbled to himself about sea animals and the beach, making up little stories as he stumbled along in a childish attempt to keep himself awake and on his feet. Sooner or later, the kook found himself walking up the driveway of the pogues' chauteu, ready to fall over his own feet or fall asleep standing up.

If Rafe was in his normal mindset, he would have never risked going to the pogues with everything going on, but with that fuzzy feeling in his chest and the cloudiness in his head, he found nothing wrong with it. It was Kiara who opened the door after he stumbled up the steps and knocked on the door. Her face dropped into a scowl once she saw him. Rafe flinched and angled his eyes down, something normal Rafe would never do.

"What the hell are you doing here, Rafe?" Kiara hissed. Rafe saw JJ come up behind her with the same scowl on his face.

"I- I didn't know where to go." Rafe stuttered, suddenly very aware of the way his words slurred and how his tone was higher than usual.

Rafe refused to watch either of their faces, but he took the silence as his response; he was not welcomed there, just as he should have assumed. The oldest started to back himself up, still refusing to make eye contact. How could he have expected anything more? After everything he'd done to them he deserved a rightful beating, too.

   "Wait," Kiara blurted just as Rafe had turned to step off the steps. Rafe hesitated to turn back around, but he did just in time to watch JJ punch her in the arm. He looked confused. Rafe didn't blame him. Rafe hated himself too.

   She too hesitated before continuing, "This isn't normal, so please inform us on what the fuck is going on."

   Rafe flinched a little. He didn't know why. He hated how out of his mind he felt. It was like he was high without the bliss, he couldn't function but instead of enjoying it he felt vulnerable and useless. And very tired. "I-"

    JJ looked fed up with his stuttering. He pushed past Kiara, despite her protests, stomping over until he reached Rafe. He then didn't hesitate to shove him with great force down the chauteua's stairs. "That's for messing with us. Now get yourself off of our side of the island."

   JJ wasn't a mean boy, but he protected what little he had and Rafe knew that. He respected it, deep down. He just never showed it and that led to actions that disrespected JJ. Rafe hated everything he'd done. He hated that he helped his father steal the gold, he hated that he stole the cross from Pope, he hated everything he ever did to hurt anyone. Rafe didn't know why he did the thing he did. He wishes he could change.

  Rafe didn't move from the dirt at the bottom of the chateau steps, shaking from his position on his hands and knees on the soggy ground. Wet earth smushed in between his fingers and made him feel real gross on top of everything else. Rafe felt his lip begin to quiver and his breathing grow rapid, and even as much as he tried to hold back the fuzzy feeling in his head, he caved. The blond boy fell forward onto his elbows in the mud, salty tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. He pressed his forehead into the mud, heaving as the floodgates opened and he was left a sobbing mess.

  Rafe just couldn't help it. He hated himself so thoroughly that he might actually do something to himself if he wasn't so afraid. He felt so lost and alone, he had nobody to go to and he didn't even understand what was going on with his body. He felt used and manipulated by everyone, he felt abandoned by his father and like a useless toy of Barry's. Still, he missed them both. As he cried in the mud Rafe wished his dad was next to him, rubbing his back and telling him, "You're a good boy, Rafe. A good boy." He wished he was in Barry's arms instead of on the ground by himself. He even wished Barry was making fun of him for being such a baby, because even negative attention would be some attention.

  Rafe was choking on his saliva and sucking in oxygen roughly and desperately when he felt two grounding hands being placed on his shoulders. He panicked initially, flinching away and diving his face into the mud even more. When the hands didn't move or hurt him any further, he subconsciously dropped his defenses and leaned into the contact. The hands pulled his upper body over and Rafe didn't resist. He still had his eyes closed when the hands placed his head on a warm lap, crying harder with the thought that he might never feel such loving gestures again - he  didn't have anyone who loved him so kindly, and he didn't even know who these hands belonged to. Rafe dropped his butt from its nearly downward dog position, flopping into the mud entirely out of pure exhaustion. He was just so, so tired. So sad and so tired.

  Rafe slowly calmed himself as he felt the mystery hands run themselves through his hair and over his neck in rhythmic motions. They were so gentle and so kind, Rafe questioned who would treat a monster like himself with so much love and care, even if it was just for a moment. As his breathing slowed and the waterworks died down, Rafe came to his senses enough to hear that whoever the hands belonged to was humming softly to him. It wasn't a tune he recognized, but that made it even more comforting.

   Shamefully, Rafe opened his eyes and lifted his red face from the lap that he had properly soaked with his tears. He felt guilty just for that. Looking up, Rafe was met with concerned eyes belonging to none other than Kiara Carrera. "Rafe? Can you hear me?"

  Rafe heard her, but he was terrified. He didn't know how to respond. Glancing over, he was met with the wide eyes of none other than JJ, John B, Pope, and his own sister. He was mortified.

  "Rafe?" Kiara, while in no way liking the other male, couldn't help but be concerned when he collapsed in a full meltdown after being pushed; Kiara had seen him function fine in far worse fights than that. Rafe didn't seem right, and although he never truly did, she knew Rafe enough to know that this was not what normal out of his mind Rafe was like. No, this was very different.

  Rafe shifted his eyes down and nodded, closing his fingers together in his lap. Kiara was just glad for some acknowledgment that he had heard her. She sighed lightly.

  "Okay, good. Can you help me understand what's going on?" Kiara asked kindly. She didn't intentionally start speaking to Rafe like he was a scared child, but when he wasn't answering her, she didn't know how else to talk to him.

   Rafe wasn't sure how to explain what he felt. He felt like he was broken and this wasn't a normal thing to feel. Without looking up, Rafe spoke quietly. "Fuzzy."

  Kiara scrunched her eyebrows together. "Fuzzy? You feel fuzzy?"

  Rafe nodded and then paused. Even quieter this time, he spoke again. "Broken."

  Without a second thought, Sarah intervened. No matter how much Rafe did to hurt her, she couldn't watch her own brother sit in the mud any longer. "Hey, Kiara? Why don't you bring him in to change."

  Kiara sent Sarah a grateful smile. John B, JJ, and Pope made no effort to help, but they separated off to the side to give the girls a clear path into the chateau. Carefully, Kiara stood herself up, extending her hands back down for Rafe to grab onto. Hesitantly, Rafe did just that, He grasped Kiara's hands clumsily, using them to support himself on wobbly legs as he stood. It took a lot of supporting from Kiara and a lot of focus from Rafe to make it up the stairs.

   Pope and John B seemed very neutral; they were neither helping not being ignorant to Rafe. JJ, on the other hand, still sent nasty glares towards him. Rafe physically flinched away from JJ on his way through the door, stumbling into Kiara and almost making them both fall.

  "It's okay," Kiara spoke kindly. "he just doesn't understand that sometimes people aren't what they seem."

  Rafe had merely nodded, but her words meant a lot. He wanted to hug her, but he didn't think she would like it and he didn't want to make her muddier.

Sarah led them both into what Rafe assumed was John B's bedroom. Most of the items in there seemed like they would belong to him and some of Sarah's stuff mixed in with it. Sarah passed Rafe a towel, which he held in his right hand while he shivered. The blond girl then went from drawer to drawer in the dressers, pulling out some shorts and a shirt she thought would fit her skinnier older brother. He was much lankier than John B, but she figured it would just have to do.

"Here you go," Sarah passed Rafe the clothing. "the bathroom is the next room to the right, you're welcome to clean up in there if you would like."

Once again, Rafe adverted his eyes back down to the ground with a slight nod. He then shuffled slowly out of the room and the girls waited until they heard the bathroom door click to move or do anything.

Kiara turned to Sarah. "Have you ever seen him like that before? I mean I know he tried to drown you and all, but something really seems to be up there. "

Sarah nodded. "No, I completely agree. Something's up, and if we want to be even average human beings and try to sort things out, the boys have to be on board."

"Let me handle them." Kiara made a finger gesture to the kitchen.

Sarah smiled fondly and copied her gesture, directing hers towards the bathroom. "And I'll check up on him."

Sarah approached the bathroom door, gently pressing her ear against it for any signs of her older brother still getting himself cleaned up. She was met with silence. Drawing her eyebrows together, she knocked lightly and spoke up. "Hey, Rafe? Are you okay in there?"

On the other side of the door, silent tears slipped down the dirty blond boy's face as he struggled to unbutton his khaki pants. He knew how to unbutton them, he did it every day! So why couldn't he do it now? Rafe let out a frustrated whine as he yanked on the pants to no avail.

Sarah heard the small whine, knocking on the door again. "Rafe, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Rafe sniffled loudly and nodded his head, despite knowing his sister couldn't see him. "Help."

Sarah opened the bathroom door as soon as she heard his small voice, nearly melting at the sight of her older brother clad in just his ruined khakis and his socks with tear tracks down his cheeks and a pout evident on his face. She wasn't sure where this soft spot had came from, but she was pretty sure this is how she remembered Rafe before their father created a drift between them. It strangely made her happy to remember him this way. "Oh, Rafe."

Sarah watched his bottom lip quiver as he adverted his eyes to the ground. "It's okay, buddy. I can help you."

And she did just that, quickly unbuckling his pants for him and allowing him to do the rest. She gave him as much privacy as she could, turning around to grab the new pair of shorts for him, only needing to help him further with buckling those properly. John B's surf shirt somehow managed to still be a bit short on Rafe but also hugely baggy around his shoulders. Sarah giggled about it to herself, finding it funny how two boys of the same height could vary so much.

Rafe was getting very, very tired. At this time of night when he felt this way, he would normally be reading bedtime stories in Barry's camper, all curled up into his side. He let out a yawn. Sarah led Rafe back to the main area of the chateau, where the rest of the pogues were spread out along the floor or the couches. Rafe shuffled his feet as he watched all of their eyes shift to him, feeling guilty and insecure with himself all over again. Kiara elbowed John B, and he awkwardly spoke up. "You can sit over here if you want to."

Rafe looked to Sarah, seemingly asking her to confirm he was being genuine. She smiled and nodded, ushering him forward to sit on John B's right. Sarah took her seat on the couch on the other side of her brother, with Kiara by her feet. JJ and Pope were sat on the other side of John B. Lamps illuminated the space and allowed for a golden glow, the TV quietly playing the news in the background. JJ and Pope were talking amongst themselves about something Rafe couldn't bring himself to find interest in, and Sarah and Kiara did the same. John B was kicked back in his seat with his feet propped up on the coffee table and his arms folded behind his head. His eyes were closed and Rafe studied his face. He thought he looked pretty funny.

Hesitantly but curiously, with a childish hue clouding his brain, Rafe lifted up his fingers and touched John B on his nose. When the other boy's eyes opened in confusion, Rafe leaned back and erupted in a fit of giggles. Despite his better judgment, John B felt himself smiling, too.

"What, is that funny?"John B asked Rafe, a chuckle of his own escaping his lips.

Rafe smiled proudly and nodded. "Funny."

Pausing to watch Rafe for a second, John B could've sworn he had seen these very same mannerisms before. The same giggles and simple happiness that shone through Rafe's eyes; John B knew he had seen them through someone else's, he just couldn't figure out who's. Then, it hit him.

"Hey, JJ?" John B shifted his attention to his blond best friend. Rafe still watched John B intently, like a bored small child.

"What's up, B?" JJ replied, shifting his baby blue eyes from Pope to John B.

John B sighed, "Do you remember that time your cousin was being manipulated by his old dealer? Years ago, before he started his own operation?"

JJ immediately nodded. "Yeah, the dude like, controlled his head. He could shift his headspaces pretty much with a snap of his fingers. It was fucked."

John B raised his eyebrows and looked over at Sarah and Kiara, who seemed to be brought to attention like John B himself was. "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sarah nodded slightly. "He does buy from that Barry douche. But JJ, how did your cousin act? Rafe seems to be acting like he did when we were younger, as far as I can remember, anyway. "

"Yeah, my cousin did too. It was just like he was a little kid again, and he couldn't come out of it willingly. I don't remember how he got over it, but maybe he never did." JJ put the pieces together in his head, too. It made sense; most of the dealers on this island were all the same, with the same mind games and tricks that they would use to both protect their operations and keep them running. Since Rafe was undeniably hooked on cocaine, it seemed almost certain that what side of him they were seeing was triggered by Barry.

As the others continued to chime in around him, Rafe grew very tired of having no attention. He was trying to be patient, he really was! But it was hard; he was tired and bored and starting to get hungry. Rafe brought his legs up in a crisscross on the couch, shifting around to face his younger sister. Gently, he tugged on her hoodie sleeve and started to fiddle with it between his fingers. Sarah smiled at him, bringing her other hand up to his hair. She rubbed gentle circles in his short hair, and he relished in the feeling by leaning into her touch.

"Well," JJ spoke up. "I would say we have our best bet on what happened, and the only thing left for us to do is keep him comfortable."

"What do you think, brother? You want to crash here for the night?" Sarah asked Rafe, ruffling her hair.

Rafe smiled brightly and nodded with enthusiasm. "Food?"

Kiara giggled. "Yes buddy, we can find some food."

[princessbrunette]

jj be like “hey i got you one of them sonny angels” and hands you this

[maybankiara]

ok but the fact that in every fic i've written that included jj was about him finding a family, letting go of his past, learning that he deserves to be loved and have a home, given that was where his character's been heading since the first episode, only for the pates to do... literally anything but that. what was the point? out of all of them, he was the one who deserved a happy ending the most.

[afabuloussecret]

That new edit trend

“Name one thing you'd let *character* do to your face”

“I’d say sit on it”

Me: I would choke on it…gladly…