#jimin gender identity

[lokisasylum]

May every evil thing antis wish upon Jimin bounce straight back to them, their families and their faves a tenfold. Amen.🧿⚔️

And especially the armys ignoring the hate or saying he deserves it over a dog and a trashkooker cosplaying to set him up.

[lunaechaos]

man i don't know why but i can't trust people who erase canon information about a character just to label them a sexuality that doesn't even make sense

[calculosavulsos]

This is all about Jimin disassociating at the bathroom

There is a lot of theory about Jimin's song Like Crazy is about his gender journey and self acceptance, we already knew that. However there is one particular scene that reminded me Jhope EGO and it leads me to the bathroom, a very sensitive topic to the trans community.

Here Jhope looks himself at the mirror, turns his back, moves his closet way and behind it there is this very clear, broad, plain hallway. The mirror part represents the way he views himself and his gender identity while the corridor is acknowledgement of his shadow to access his self and ego (the final destination of Map of Soul).

Unlikely Jhope, Jimin's corridor is being filled with dirty, later is just narrow, another time there is people blocking his way to his self.

This is a very good visual representation on how hard it to queer and especially genderqueer people come in term with themselves because of internalized trans/homophobia (the dirty), or epistemic injustices, or/mainly because other people actions upon oneself or the community as a whole.

While Jhope's corridor had no other visible place to go, Jimin's corridor has a genderless bathroom sign and two doors (two bathrooms?), as a middle point in his own shadow. It might be implied that the bathroom represents his anima/animus, also his gender identity is emerged into his shadow, the part of himself his persona doesn't show.

The party and the alcohol are ways Jimin creates to numb his mind, his shadow. As the club is a public space, he is also using his own public persona as a way to scape from the deepest parts of his inner self. However it doesn't matter what he tries, he will end up finding her, his female part. When they start to look for each other, Jimin body is scanned - euphoria/dysphoria in art form - as they look at each other like a mirror.

The bathroom

Public bathrooms are designed to control people's bodies. Those places has a very efficient gender technology in their architecture that makes everyone revisit their own gender as binary all the time. So public bathrooms are latently violent to gender nonconforming people and all kinds of transgender people to stay in.

The bathroom still violent place to Jimin as well, as he left it implied when he sings that his reflection is letting he "endlessly crazy". To safely be in a public bathroom you must pass and it's fairly easy to notice by his works how Jimin once tried hard to conform.

No wonder is the public bathroom where he disassociates from his reality: this is where all the self and socially imposed pressure related to gender probably will culminate.

Dream

Usually dreams are used as a escapism metaphor and in this song might not be that different. However the fact of one of the lasts verses says "I need a way we can dream of" dreaming sifts its meaning to believing in some (extra) personal change. The dialogue in the music' begging is about dreaming of changing while negotiating with the fear. Like crazy was always a great bargain.

This change eventually happens in the mv, the bathroom reassembles as Jimin is not in there. This is part of his self acceptance, personal changing and growing process, but it doesn't go without consequences.

As he returns to that room (his ego?) the dirty is not all over the floor anymore, but in himself. "Alone again. What's the point?" This time Jimin is conscious of his gender identity but that one question remains. As I also see Face as the five stages of grief, the next stage is depression or "Alone".

[chumbay]

Some excerpts from an article called:

How Park Jimin of BTS Helped Me Feel Seen in My Brown, Queer Body

by PADYA PARAMITA

Jimin’s “Filter” performance, which I interpreted as a representation of gender fluidity and experimentation, assured me it was okay not to know which box I fit into, to constantly question, and to try new things. I felt affirmed in lacking the perfect word to pinpoint my gender identity. My struggles with my body, impacted by my strict upbringing, had made me feel isolated in sharing my ideal presentation with others. But Jimin had proudly displayed his moves on a global stage that was live streamed by more than 10 million people. In his rejection of gender norms, in wearing whatever he wanted, he’d reminded me that my body was more than the object of ridicule.

It’s easy to say that gender doesn’t really matter, but the K-pop industry is heavily gendered. There have only been a handful of mixed gender bands among hundreds of boy and girl groups, and being openly queer is often completely out of the question for most K-pop stars — even heterosexual artists aren’t allowed to date publicly. Despite everything, Jimin started coming out of his shell, openly wearing outfits originally designed for women, shirts with the words “gender equality” and “radical feminist,” laughing at his bandmates for claiming selfies aren’t for men, and letting his dance moves flow freely.

Jimin reminded me of myself — I was born 75 days before him, 2500 miles away. Yet both of us had tried hard to please society and performed gender in a way we weren’t meant to put on. It both took us time to realize that society’s gender norms weren’t the law, there was no “male” or “female” when it came to fashion and behavior. We would still be loved, even if we took the risk of expressing ourselves in a real way.

[andy-wm]

I have thoughts on Jimin's SGMB

It's the gayest thing I've ever seen.

And by that I mean it's joyous, light-hearted, bright, and fun.

We can all agree, I think, that this is a happy and totally harmless song. Who could criticise Jimin for declaring his love in such a sweet and innocent way?

Of course not everyone will like it, and that's fine. You don't have to like everything he does - or everything BTS does - you are an individual with thoughts and feelings of your own - I hope. But putting that aside you'd have to be a troubled person indeed to take offence at anything here.

So, it is definitely a fan song, right? Jimin is singing to his fans... isn't he?

Maybe.

But if it is (I and I'm not convinced) it's not just a fan song.

It's sweet, so sweet, but....

Maybe it's a little too sweet?

We know Jimin is CUTIE SEXY LOVELY and LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY, but let's be honest, he's also a grown man. And Army are not children (mostly). In fact we have had many many conversations about how ARMY are not children.

But this whole production is pushing the sweet and innocent barrow so hard that I can't help wanting to look underneath and behind and inside to see what's really going on because it's so sweet it's hurting my teeth.

Compare the sophistication and self awareness of FACE to the bouncy, bright and child-like song-and-dance in the SGMB music video. They are WORLDS apart and we were told very specifically that the albums were linked.

"Following his first solo album, “FACE,” where he sought to explore his true identity, “MUSE” documents his journey in search of the source of his inspiration." said the Weverse notification.

So what's really going on here?

What are you doing Jiminie?

And more importantly, why are you doing it?

You could call it a pageant, or a carnival, or a circus - with Jimin as the ringmaster.

But my view is:

This a pantomime. And it's very clever.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, a pantomime is "A dramatic entertainment,  originating in Roman mime, in which  performers express meaning through  gestures  accompanied by music." Yes, that describes it.

Merriam-Webster tells us "[A pantomime] is an ancient Roman dramatic performance featuring a solo dancer and a narrative chorus" That also makes sense.

Oxford also specified that it's a modern BRITISH tradition. "a theatrical entertainment, mainly for children, which involves music, topical jokes, and slapstick comedy." It's a perfect fit.

The British link is already there - Jimin clearly told us he's influenced by The Beatles' Sergeant Peppers Album. There's also the styling of his suit. The stovepipe pants, narrow tie, and fitted jacket are very 1960s (and 1980s) British pop.

There's something old-school about a pantomime. It harks back to childhood, and to the nostalgia of holidays. And the styling of the MV is in keeping with that nostalgic feel too - from the Mountain scene with the vintage film title, to the intertitles - or title cards , to the circular frame of the opening scene.

But back to the Pantomime itself...

A quick google search told me the following are important elements of pantomime. And we have most, if not all of them in this production.

Gender role reversal - TICK

Slapstick comedy - TICK

Colourful costumes - TICK

Audience participation - TICK (the children ARE the audience)

Exaggerated facial expressions - TICK

Take another look at the music video - it's all there.

Wikipedia tells us that pantomimes traditional told fairy tales or folk tales - often love stories - and that the primary role in a Pantomime was:

The 'Principal boy', a hero or charismatic rogue, traditionally played by a young woman in men's clothing.

Smart, very smart. With all the other conversations we've been having a round gender this is totally on the money.

Wikipedia goes on to say "Another pantomime tradition is to engage celebrity guest stars... Contemporary pantomime productions are often adapted to allow the star to showcase their well-known act.... If the star enters into the spirit of the entertainment, he or she likely adds to its overall effect"

Welcome, Loco.

(yes, I know collabs are de rigueur, but that doesn't change the fact that it fits - celeb guests are an established practice in Panto.)

So if this IS a Pantomime (and I'm not saying it definitely is but it looks like one to me), then it's intended to be a sung-story, told as much through dance and gestures as through words.

If it's a pantomime, what is it about?

I'm glad you asked! This little charade is the story of a young person called Jimin who is looking for love. He finds romance easily enough...

but real love takes a little longer.

Fortunately for our hero, he's brave (he will confess to his lover) and he is patient (he encourages them to do so too).

In between, there are shenanigans and goofing...

But our Charismatic Rogue is charming (if devilish) and wins the hearts of the audience - and his lover.

Let's take a closer look at how the story unfolds...

At the start of the MV, as the initial credits appear, Jimin is on stage vibing with his band. Loco is chilling on a rock like a lizard in the sun.

We get the ye olde intertitles, welcoming the audience and introducing.... SMERALDO Garden Marching Band

It's not Smeraldo Garden - Marching Band. It's Smeraldo *pause* Garden Marching Band. Smeraldo (secrets) has the emphasis.

After the intertitles, the scene opens on a group of children - they are ostensibly the audience of the band. They're playing paper-scissors-rock to see who will call for Jimin's attention.

The children run over to him and the tale begins.

Jimin, the main character of this story, immediately launches into song.

He starts off singing about Bangtan - mentioning their harmony (song and personal I think), he shows the Bangtan hand gesture we all know so well, and he sings "we gift happiness every day".

But he mentions June 12th.

Why June 12th?

Why not 13th, their debut day?

BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SONG for ARMY. He's making it clear that at this point he's referring to Bangtan specifically, not the whole juggernaut of the fandom and fame. June 12th precedes ARMY.

He's made it clear from the start - this is NOT ABOUT ARMY.

Then he leans in and whispers to the children - and the camera -"lets talk about us".

Look at the kids' faces - they're miming shock. Ooooohhh! This is a big secret he's about to tell them - and us.

Look at Jimin's expression - he's just a tad smug. This is not a shocking secret to him, this is a fun secret.

Yes, he is indeed the charismatic rogue of this story.

He sings:

"All the things we couldn't say before

And your hidden feelings too (just for you)

Don't you worry anymore

Since we're together now**

Let's be a little more honest."

So it seems our main character has a LOVER. Someone who couldn't be revealed and who hid their feelings.

<Wow, I have no idea who this could be...>

Hang on, what's happening in the MV??

On his journey, it seems our young hero has a few short-lived romances. And if you look carefully, they are all with men.

He accepts the rose from a man, and plants himself on the bench right up close to .... a man. He jumps up unperturbed, and gifts the rose to (you guessed it) another man.

Jimin manages to sidestep (or completely ignore) all the women except one, who he sends graciously into the arms of a random man before continuing on his journey.

Wait one moment... his romantic partners were ALL MEN??

ALL MEN??

ALL MEN?!!!!!

Yes darling, all men. Let's continue.

So, it seems none of Jimin's previous romances grew into anything more, but he takes his own advice with his mysterious lover and confesses first.

He smirks. He flicks his jacket with pizzazz. He's ready.

He sings:

"Ooooh I love you babe,

I'll come closer to you

I want to hold your hand,

I want you babe (yessir)

Please note the hand gesture in this choreo - it's another one we've seen many times.

The dance ends and Jimin scans the surroundings and spots his old friend...

[Enter stage left: Loco]

Oh look, the friend is a rapper a few years older than Jimin. They seem to have a lot of fun together, Jimin and his rapper friend. There are ZERO romantic overtones here. This guy happily goes along with all the goofing and silliness even though he looks a tiny bit mortified. Either they are both very good actors, or a lot of the time, Loco was holding in his laughter. And Jimin seems incredibly amused by that.

They hang out together until.... something in the atmosphere changes:

The colours become richer, light become warmer, and oh look....

It's *The Golden Hour*

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, PEOPLE. HE REALLY DID THIS.

Jimin leaves Loco, chasing the golden light as he sings about "the dazzling sky." Golden confetti (champagne, anyone?) falls all around him and then ...

fucking sunflowers bloom.

SUN FLOWERS.

BLOOM.

FOR HIM.

<I need to lie down and process this>

SUNflowers...

Remind me again what sunflowers are known for? Oh yes, they are symbolic of the sun. Guess what else? They turn to face the sun.

Yup, the sunflowers all turn their faces toward the camera. I'm not crazy, okay?! I'm not.

SMH... let's move on.

Jimin re-joins his band, and the sunflowers do their sunflower thing, and Jimin sings:

"So tell me how you feel,

let whatever you feel

wash over you"

Then he sings

"I love you babe, (yessir)

I'll come closer to you

I want to hold your hand,

I want you babe (yessir)

Please note the hand gesture again

👉 👈

The bridge is next, and Jimin takes us back to Bangtan. As all the stars appear (that ocean of purple light that surrounds them at concerts) and everyone takes their place on stage, they turn up the music. <Are my eyes watering? Perhaps>

"I think we're ready now

<NGL I may have shed a tear here>

Lets begin 1, 2

<Ok fuck, I bawled at this point. Goddammit Jimin!>

Put your hands up"

*cute wiggle-dance commences* and Jimin spots his good friend the rapper again, hiding on the sidelines. He pulls him into the chorus line and they do more silliness and everyone is having a great time.

Confetti- flower petals fall, there's laughter and happiness all around, and they bow and bid us good bye.

The show is over.

*THE END*

But wait, I am not done.

A few more things bear mentioning here:

I saw quite a few comments saying this song is for ARMY.

It is categorically NOT for ARMY. Besides the fact that we already have Closer Than This - a fan song - on this album, Jimin specifically chose a date before debut - before ARMY existed - to place in this song. No mention of ARMY at all. Accept it graciously, this is not for you.

I wanna hold your hand

This lyric is a reference not only to the Beatles song "I Want to Hold Your Hand", It's also a common theme with Jimin and Jungkook. We see them finding any feeble excuse to hold hands, shake hands, touch hands. Yes, we see you two...

I am you, You are me

The gesture used in the choreo when Jimin is singing his confession - I failed miserably to catch it in my screengrab but there's no doubt it's their "I am you, You are me" gesture. Take a look for yourself.

All Jimin's romantic moments happened with men.

I'm not saying in his life, I am saying in this MV. All of them. The only interaction he has with a woman is one brief moment where he grabs her wrist as she passes by and he swings her into the path of a guy behind him. He even scoots around the women and sidesteps them. That can't be accidental. He's making a point.

The addition of 'yessir' in the lyrics makes it clear that he's confessing to a man.

I cannot see any reasonable way to refute this. The BH subtitles include it even though you have to listen carefully to catch it. THAT IS A CHOICE, NOT AN ACCIDENT.

"Even though we're together now"

These lyrics could mean theyre an established, committed couple. But if we think a little broader than that, and a little more literally, who is he together with right now?

It's strategically brilliant.

This is his 'tell all expose' but he has built in a rock solid escape clause by using the panto format. Staging the whole love story - including the prior boyfriends and the man he's now in love with - as an over the top comedy show makes it easily dismissible as pure fiction. By including the fantasy/magical elements he just makes it more so. Deniers will be able to come up with a dozen reasons to reject this... 'It's a fantasy story', 'not all songs are autobiographical', 'he's making a point', 'he's raising LGBTQIA+ awareness'... all true maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that this is HIS song, about HIS muse. If you've been paying attention (and even if you haven't) you will know this is certainly not pure fiction.

AND FINALLY....

The most important one, I left till last. I actually want to scream this, in all caps, in the biggest font possible. But I will restrain myself.

The song is bookended by references to BTS.

That is hugely important. For those who may not be aware, this is a literary device. Bookending a story provides a start and end reference point. Here, the Bangtan bookends provide context for the rest of the lyrics - they frame the lyrics within them. That means the events happening in the song, happen within the context of Bangtan. Reading between the lines, the person he is singing to/about is within Bangtan.

This is not reaching. This is like mixing blue paint and yellow paint together. You will get green paint.

💛+💙=💚

So yes, this song is the gayest thing I've ever seen.

And I DO mean it's joyous, light-hearted, bright, and fun.

But yes, it's also absolutely and totally really really GAY

🏳️‍🌈🐥🦄🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌻🐰☀️🏳️‍🌈

Thank you Jiminie

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

A lack of curiosity, knowledge and understanding of fandom practices and behaviors are among the reasons why conservative views are more and more widely spread and accepted. While it is true that this is a phenomenon visible at a large scale in online spaces, I will only talk about kpop fandoms in this post.

A complete ignorance towards a country's laws, cultural and societal practices is also a contributing factor to this situation, which is then paired with homophobia. This mess of a melting pot is the root of dismissing any queer interpretation of a kpop's idol work or self presentation, while also trying to demonize shipping practices at the same time.

There has been extensive academic research done on these topics, their legitimacy and how it is partly a way in which fans navigate these spaces and deal with their own queerness as well.

It is most unfortunate that certain idols, particularly those that have either pushed boundaries and used art as a self expression in a way that stands out from normative understandings of gender expression and sexuality, are also those of which a vocal part of their fandom use in order to be turned into some poster children of straightness.

There is no other accomplishment for a group or individuals promoting this other than pushing a moralist, conservative agenda.

We should not normalize the lack of education, media illiteracy and the ignorance that comes with it. Particularly in a climate in which this is weaponized in ways to control people's views. Going beyond bad takes on twitter, reading is fundamental. Pick up a book, read an article or two and you will become a little more wiser and and a little less at risk of becoming a victim of kpop stan brain rot.

In the meantime, with a little bit of a shameless self promotion, I do recommend reading this piece I wrote a few years ago, called Framing Gender Identity Through Masquerade. Hybrid Masculinities in Jimin's Photo-folio.

And also check out @peppertaemint for a post on Taemin's gender presentation and its complexities. There are a few more similar topics addressed on the blog, for anyone who wants to delve deeper into that.

What you will find is that a complex conversation backed by research is more often than not a more fair approach and one which enriches our knowledge and our attempts at understanding and conversing with the art and artists we encounter.

[myobsessionsspace]

He's Been Saying It, Without Saying It, For A Long Damn Time

GENDER NEUTRAL.

GENDERLESS.

EMBRACES BOTH MASCULINITY...

AND FEMININITY

What is a man? Who decides?

He appreciates more than just stereotypical compliments

LOVE YOURSELF: SEOUL

He struggled so much with his identity and how to present himself. Who he is now is who he’s happy with.

He’s told us through art on his skin

Me, Myself & I: Jimin

Freedom

His most transparent statement to date (in my opinion)

He’s told us with his photo-folio

FILTER

He expresses it through performance.

My short and simple interpretation: Clothed in neutral colours that he originally came in, tried on the advertised to the masses, desired/accepted presentation, got rid of them all and embraced his own unique colour!

This is how Jimin CHOOSES to present himself publicly

he has also said numerous times his at home mode is sweats and baggy tees (if dressed at all)

This isn’t a new thing, just a rediscovered and more bold take

To us he is handsome, beautiful, ethereal, all that and more…

He prefers PRETTY, CUTE & DELICATE

Either one and all of them…

✨He’s JIMIN✨

💜

[stormblessed95]

But I thought Jokers said her/girl is meant to portray his MUSE in a universal language I.e love 🤔 did that narrative changed the moment you all saw gender neutral lyrics 😏 oh my bad, should've known jokers are known to make 101 excuses for your tanking ship. Btw he still went with girl at the end of the day and be mine written by him literally had be mine, my girl as lyrics. I guess a ghost wrote it.

Antis never actually read anything and it's so funny to me in a really depressing way. Lol

Jimin making jokes in the studio in his deep manly voice and beautiful giggles

And the actual lyrics being gender neutral too 😂

Would a ghost writing it make YOU feel better? Lol

In fact, Slow Dance.... Also gender neutral....

Intro: Rebirth, also Gender neutral

SGMB is all gender neutral, even Locos verse....

The only song in the final lyrics that ISN'T gender neutral in its lyrics is Who, which Jimin didn't actually write just contributed towards, but STILL was gender neutral in its original form...

And idk what you think pronouns ARE but they aren't a narrative structure or a plot point....

Let's define it together actually, some education 🥰 according to the Oxford dictionary, the exact definition is as follows:

Pronoun: a word that can function by itself as a noun phrase and that refers either to the participants in the discourse (e.g., I, you ) or to someone or something mentioned elsewhere in the discourse (e.g., she, it, this ).

a third-person pronoun by which an individual wishes to be referred to in order to indicate their gender identity.

noun: preferred pronoun; plural noun: preferred pronouns

So in what way does a pronoun change the overall arching themes of his album and the feelings he was trying to portray?

(the correct answer here is that, it doesn't... Just trying to help you out!)

Also, you can fully leave ships out of this. Who Jimin is or isn't dating has nothing to do with his album and his consistency in saying people rather than girls/women and his consistency in his queer coding. And even if he wrote girl/women/she/her in EVERY SINGLE SONG, it wouldn't change anything at all, except make me desire my non-existent girlfriend in my mind while I sing along. 😍

"I guess a ghost wrote it" 😂🤣 antis just SAY things with their full chest and so much confidence in an effort to be dismissive and they just.... Come off as silly and bitter and (not be rude or mean, really) a little like they could use some more time in school. Media literacy classes should be mandatory I think, especially in this day and age 😂

Btw, if you are going to call me anything, I'm a yoonminkooker (they are my biases, my babies) and ARMY. That's it. Thanks ✌️

[mrs-monaghan]

https://twitter.com/parkordie/status/1714224017907839040

Nah cuz these drags won't work for Jimin lol

First of all, JIMIN is literally a unisex name which is especially given for baby girls in SK. So there's no need to add anything to make it more girly lmao. His name is commonly used by girls anyway.. we have many girl idols named Jimin but uses stage names because JIMIN is owned by mimi 🤷‍♀️

Second, people really think saying he looks like a woman is offensive ? The same person who asked 'what the heck is men ?', Regularly wears women clothing, drew a bigender tattoo on himself, thinks he looks beautiful when dressed as a girl, calls himself pretty, pretite and delicate, chose modern dance and ballet as his major which are not commonly done by men and is frowned upon in SK, repeated he's NOT manly multiple times in a single interview, likes to keep his body dainty, want to make his booty even bigger, used a woman as his reflection and is VERY fluid with his gender identity representation 🙄🙄 More than anyone else Jimin knows his feminine side and fucking embrace it proudly

If him, his dad and mom, his partner, his members, his freinds and his stans doesn't have a single problem with him not being the usual 'manly' guy then who tf have a problem with how he carries himself ?

The way it's mostly JK solos trying to drag him for this.. are they worried whether he'll steal their man or what 👀👀 or that their 'straight' man won't be able to resist a pretty Jimin around ? Is JK that weak for pretty dainty boys shaz ? 🤔

While reading your ask it took me back to this moment

(Thanks @sarah2711)

RM literally short circuited 🤣😂😂😂 I can't with this clip coz RM takes me out every single time. 😆😆😆😆😆 Dead.

(Me digressing in 1....2.....)

I am surprised that JK doesn't seem to be simping here considering the fact that Jimin was super pissed during this bomb

coz JK wanted him to be in that snow white costume so badly.

Analysis no one asked for in 1....2....

Okay so Jhope says loser will have to dress up as snow white. If you look at Jimin's face, he is not happy

But the best part for me is how JK is looking right at him 🤭🤭

Yes... so are RM and Jhope but there is a reason I'm highlighting JK 😆😆

So Jhope says how this was all JK's idea. But look at Jimin's face when he says "that's right"

This tells me Jimin knew why JK wanted him in that dress. He hee. Jin confirms that this idea is quite recent.

RM concurs adding in this little detail:

Thats the face of a cheeky man up to no good 🤭 Especially when Jhope repeats the rule... and while Jimin is frothing at the mouth 👇🏽 JK is watching him looking quite excited about the prospect of the loser being snow white

We know JK expected Jimin to lose because that's what happens more often than not. Jimin always looses in RPS and JK was counting on this happening. But Mimi wasn't having it and not only can u tell because of how mad he looks, but also because he does the tongue in cheek thing

And we all know depending on the context, this is usually a sign of annoyance.

So the members start to play and guess who JK is watching 😏😏

The reason why this analysis is most probably accurate is because of the face Jimin makes when JK wins dramatically

Did you see that? Okay I will clip just Jimin's face since he moves too quickly for a proper screenshot. But just look how done he is. Zoom in and u can see it even better.

For reasons only known to Jikook, JK really wanted Jimin to be snow white and Jimin was 1300% done with his boyfriend.

Is JK that weak for pretty dainty boys Shaz?

Hmm 🤔

Anon,

[acenolee]

Directions

Request: Can you write one with ot7!BTS × reader, where they are having an argument and the boys all pick at the reader's insecurities and the reader is hurt with happy ending?

A/N: I screwed up trying to figure out how to respond to this with the results still able to be visible, sorry! But anyways I’m glad you enjoyed my previous post and I had a lot of fun writing this one. I’m not exactly sure if I correctly portrayed the events like you wanted but I hope you like it!!

Pairing: OT7 x Reader (Gender Neutral)

~

It wasn’t how you expected to end the day, but somehow you’d ended up crawling on the floor to try and plug in the cord for the camera charger so the boy’s could review the finished product of a performance video for their new title track. You’d thought it’d be easy when they asked, but the task was proving to be more difficult as their instructions were becoming sloppy from all the fatigue.

“Which one do you want me to pull?”

“The black one.”

You closed your eyes and stifled a sigh of irritation. “They’re all black, Yoongi. You have to be specific.”

The exhaustion was clear in his voice as he called back, “It has a silver insignia on it with the HYBE logo.”

“How hard can it be to pull out one measly cord?” You heard Jungkook mutter, and felt a stab of frustration - along with a drop of embarrassment - course through your body.

For their sake, you didn’t push it.

As you carefully inspected each of the cords knotted tightly together, you found that nearly all of them had the HYBE logo in big, bold letters carved into their surface. Sighing inwardly, you reached into your pocket to grab your phone, flipping on the flashlight in case there was something your eyes couldn’t pick up in the darkness.

But you were only greeted with the same identical, impossibly tangled wires.

“They all look the same, Yoongi.” You called, already imagining the exasperated expression on the rapper’s face.

This time, however, it was Jin who responded. “No they don’t Y/N. Stop being difficult and just pull out one of the dam cords.”

You felt your patience thinning.

“Pull out the one at the top.” came Yoongi’s voice. “It’s not connected to anything important.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard.” Jimin added. “It’s the one closest to our desk.”

You faltered. The was a cord that was closer to the desk but farther down than the one that was higher than it. Both Yoongi, Jin, and Jimin had said things that contradicted one another - how on earth were you to choose which one to listen to?

"Hurry."

"It's just the one near the monitor."

"We're on a time crunch here."

"Be more specific!" You hissed, your words coming out harsher than intended.

"For crying out loud!" Taehyung exclaimed, and the shuffling of shoes echoed through the room as he got up and startled you by suddenly getting on the floor and ripping the cable from your hands. "The cord near the monitor! Do we have to walk you through this entire process? Should we give you some candy to if you ever manage to pull out the cord? It's like walking a child through tying their shoelaces step by step!"

Some of the boys laughed and you felt embarrassed. You knew that they were all tired and probably weren't thinking everything through thoroughly. Still, the dig hurt and clawed at some of your insecurities.

Taehyung held the cable up to your face. "Look Y/N. You see this here?" He made an overexaggerated gesture to the cable, whilst you bit your lip and watched quietly, cheeks flushing and heart thumping. "'And this wire over here? I'm just going to - and look at that! Plugged in just a few seconds! Amazing right?"

Without waiting for your response, Taehyung crawled out from under the table. Eventually, you followed him out to be met with a couple of irritated glares from the others. You looked down at your shoes, a mixture of embarrassment, shame, and frustrated warring through your body, and excused yourself, hurriedly walking towards the door.

"Seriously, if hyung could do it then why couldn't Y/N?" You heard Jungkook mumble before you'd fully left, and Namjoon or Hobi replying with another nasty remark about your "incompetence".

And that was your last straw.

Shoving the door open forcefully and whirling around to face the startled members, you snapped bitterly, "It's not my fault that some of you can't come to an agreement about the location of a plug. They all look the same and were tangled - I'd like to see you try when the instructions are half-backed and coming from a bunch of unpleasant people."

Some startled gasps came from staff nearby, whilst the members expression's morphed into pure anger and shock.

"Who are you calling unpleasant?" Namjoon snapped in defense of his members, the anger in his eyes so evident as he leaped up from the couch that you took a frightened step back. "It was a less than a pleasant experience with you here."

"And I could say the same for you." You huffed, trying to mask how much his words hurt.

Namjoon's face twisted into a scowl, and Seokjin put a hand on his shoulder as though restraining him, the two sharing a brief look that you couldn't decipher.

“Look, Y/N,” said Jin tiredly, his tone indicating that he wanted this argument over. “We’re tired, your tired, we get that it would’ve been easier if the instructions were a bit clearer, but we’re just-”

“You’re just what?” You demanded before you could stop yourself. “Looking for an excuse for dragging me here and just using me for the crap your to tired to do?”

And then Namjoon shrugged Jin off and started berating you, the rest of the members soon jumping on the bandwagon of criticism. Soon both parties were shouting angry insults at one another, striking nerves and wedging an even deeper wound than it initially was. By the time the staff decided to separate you and the boys, you and Namjoon had been reduced to tears after a screaming match and some of the boys had extremely hoarse voices.

As you packed your keys and threw your belongings into the car, it suddenly became very clear that this incident wasn’t going to be cleared up anytime soon.

-

The next few weeks were rough.

Neither you nor the rest of the boys wanted to talk about what had happened before, and the anger simmering just underneath the surface was evident. A simple collision was enough to incite anger, and you found yourself getting into various mini arguments with the boys.

To make matters worse, you had no choice but to stay with them, as your parents were away and you didn’t have enough money to rent a hotel. Even with the tension between the two groups, the boys wouldn’t stoop as low as to make you homeless. But still, the next weeks were utter hell.

“Do you want me to give you instructions for that too?” Jin said bitterly when you struggled to cook dinner and got in the way of his own cooking.

“Oh just shut up.” You snapped.

When you went up to your room you bumped into Namjoon, who was more than happy to snap some remarks.

“Watch where you’re going,” he practically snarled. “In addition to being unable to understand simple directions, are you incapable of seeing as well?”

The two of you ended up in a screaming match, and come morning you’d gotten into a heated argument over waking up Yoongi after he’d fallen asleep in the living room.

Hoseok exchanged small pleasantries with you, but that was about as far as you too went in the light of this new tension. Both Taehyung and Jungkook were happy to avoid you, but you did have your mini scrapes with the maknaes occasionally, and Jimin ignored you entirely.

By the end of the second week, you found yourself hurt more than you thought possible and crying into your pillow as soon as you were in the privacy of the guest room. You’d been excluded from social outings like going to restaurants, hanging out at the park, binge watching series and going to parties, something that you’d all planned to do together before the argument.

You finally snapped one night, the three weeks worth of hurt coming out in an flow. The boys were more than startled, perhaps from the sheer harshness of your tone or the abrasive language you were using, either way, you didn’t care. You weren’t even aware of what you were saying - heck, you didn’t even remember how the night ended or how you’d gotten to your bed, you just remembered breaking down into tears later, your voice raw from screaming, your body physically exhausted, and heart aching.

A Week Later

It was so cold.

You lay on the ground, shivering and curled up in a ball, watching a video of your dog playing with your siblings. It was the only comfort, the only thing that could take your mind off of the fact that your friendship with Bangtan was probably over.

You were considering rooming with a friend in their collage dorm when a knock came to your door.

“Y/N?”

“Go away!” You shouted, voice trembling as you were haunted by guilt and hurt.

“Y/N!” Taehyung called from the other end of the door. “Please just let us in. We want to talk.”

“Find someone else to be your punching bag,” you snarled. “I’m not in the mood for it.”

“Y/N please-”

You closed your eyes and tuned them out.

It was just too much work to get into another argument.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, only that you were still on the floor when you heard the sound of someone wiggling the doorknob and then - pop! - it was open.

Footsteps echoed in the room and you heard a voice calling your name.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

“It’s so cold in here…”

You rolled over and were met with the concerned looks of the boys. Groaning inwardly, you mumbled,

“Just leave me alone.”

“Y/N don’t push us away.” Hoseok pressed, and you opened your eyes when you felt a hand on your shoulder. “God - you’re shivering.”

He grabbed your arm gently and turned you around so you would face him, rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm you up.

“Just leave me alone.”

“Please will you talk to us?” Jungkook pleaded, holding your shoulders gently.

“Y/N.” Jimin murmured, trying to drape a blanket over your shoulders. “Have you eaten? Your so cold.”

“I’m fine!” You hissed, shoving them away.

“Y/N please I don’t want to fight anymore.”

This time you actually did pause - the person speaking sounded close to tears. When you glanced over Hobi’s shoulder, you saw that Namjoon really did look like he was about to cry.

Surprise rippled through you. “Joon-”

And then the two of you burst into tears.

“I’m sorry!” You gasped, clenching Hobi’s shirt as he two started to tear up and rubbed circles into your back. “I was so mean and I said such awful things! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of it-” You were just blabbering things at this point, overwhelmed with emotion. It took away your physical strength and left you weak. “You guys work so hard and you were probably just tired-”

“Shh.” Jungkook had started to run his fingers through your hair. “It’s okay. Of course we know you didn’t mean anything.”

“We’re sorry as well.” Yoongi added, he extended his palm and you held it as Jin lowered himself to the ground and started wiping away your tears. “We took the argument too far and we’re sorry for exploiting your insecurities.”

Jin lowered himself to the ground and brushed the hair out of your face so he could look into your eyes. “I’m sorry Y/N. I can’t take back what I said but I hope you know how sorry I am. I’lll make you what ever you want after okay?”

Sniffling, you said, “O-okay.” And he smiled softly, reaching up to wipe away you tears.

You only cried harder as Jimin and Taehyung soon joined the huddle, cuddling you and whispering tearful apologies.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin apologized. “I-I really don’t know what else to say but how sorry I am and how much I regret what I said.”

“It’s okay.”

“But it’s not.”

You beckoned him closer and he slipped his arms around you. “Let’s just put this behind us, yea?”

Jimin nodded. “Okay.”

Namjoon still hadn’t moved and was just watching you and Bangtan, tears in his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Hobi said into your ear, noticing where your gaze had flitted to. “He’ll come around soon - he’s felt really guilty.” This time you couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears and started to break down again. “Don’t cry, don’t cry. You’re okay, you’re okay.”

“H-Hobi,” You choked out, leaning into his chest as another way of crushing emotions overwhelmed you. “I-” You worrried that you might hurt him asyou grabbed his shoulders, but if he felt any pain, he didn’t react. “I-I’m so-don’t go-”

“It’s okay,” Hobi repeated, patting you on the back. “Just breathe Y/N, I’m not going anywhere.”

You closed your eyes, the last of your strength ebbing away. Jungkook’s strong arms wrapped around you to support you. Jin passed you some tissues and Yoongi switched places with Hoseok in an attempt to calm you down. You’d known Yoongi since middle school and although the rapper was often seen as a cold person, he really was more on the calm side. Something about his gentle nature never failed to soothe you, and it worked now as well.

After a while, you sniffled and looked around for Namjoon. He still hadn’t moved but his tears had dried.

“Joon?” You whispered, and his jaw clenched. “I’m sorry, please don’t-”

You couldn’t continue due to the sudden onslaught of tears as Namjoon rushed over, pulling you from Yoongi’s arms and wrapped you up in the tightest embrace you’d ever felt. He buried his face in your shoulders.

“Oh my god,” he kept repeating. “I’m sorry - oh god I’m so sorry.”

“Me to.” You sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh. You have nothing to he sorry for.”

You felt a blanket being draped over your shoulders and a hand ruffling your hair.

Taehyung.

He squeezed your hand, tears clinging to his eyelashes and said, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N. Please forgive me?”

“I already have.” You whispered. The rest of the boys had circled you, Namjoon, and Taehyung and had begun snuggling. They handed you tissues and said they would bring you food later, they just wanted you to warm up right now and settle down, they were concerned by how much crying seemed to take out of you.

After you’d all moved to the couch and you’d managed to calm down, you looked at them and said. “I don’t ever want to fight again - I missed you all so much.”

“We missed you too.” Namjoon replied, rubbing your head. “From now on let’s try to settle arguments in a more…reasonable manner. Yes?”

You and the boys quickly agreed, and you all fell asleep like that - you in the middle and the others cuddling you.

-

I hope this was okay, I might go back and edit some because I’ve been writing this on a plane. Once again I apologize for any cringe and feedback is always welcomed.

[not-goldy]

So when he says jimin is sexy he means JIMIN IS SEXY AS A MAN. He's not imagining Jimin as a woman when he says Jimin is pretty. He's seeing him for whole is and he's expressing attraction for that too.

In one of your old post in original blog you said if Bigender tattoo means something for Jimin, in your understanding he might love JK from both Man's and woman's pov. But now you are saying this? That JK means Jimin sexy as a 'man' and doesn't see extra feminine features in him ? If locals mistake him for woman (even babies thinks he's a pretty girl multiple times and call him 'aunt' while others are 'uncles') and his fans loves his feminine side and he accepts his feminine side.. how his supposed partner doesn't know about it ?

Locals mistake Jimin for a woman because they don't know he's a man. They can't tell his gender just by looking at him. That's the beauty of ANDROGYNY.

Not all androgynous people identify as Bigender and not all who identify as Bigender are androgynous. Being Bigender goes deeper than mere looks. So let's not limit his identity to his looks.

It's one thing to appreciate the beauty of Park Jimin. Its another to think he's only beautiful because he has feminine features. He's a gorgeous MAN. If he identifies as Bigender I doubt it's because he thinks he looks feminine. Because he doesn't need to look feminine to be Bigender. If it's jx looks HE'S ANDROGYNOUS he doesn't need to co opt the Bigender label.

Jimin's beauty is not because he looks feminine its because HE IS BEAUTIFUL PERIOD. AS A MAN HE IS BEAUTIFUL AND AS A WOMAN HE IS STILL BEAUTIFUL BUT BEING BIGENDER WOULD IMPLY HE IS BOTH OR NEITHER.

WHAT PART OF THAT DONT YOU GET???

And I think Jungkook appreciates ALL OF HIM not jx parts of him that reminds him of a woman. THAT WOULD BE FETISHISM.

Didn't he ever tell Park Jimin not to wear a ring on his pinky cos MEN DON'T WEAR PINKY RINGS???????

He knows JIMIN IS A MAN AND YET STILL CALLS HIM PRETTY. THAT'S how he affirms Jimin.

[just-orbiting-you]

I know you are mainly a jikook focused account but im wondering what do you think of vmin because after watching ays and just so many small things piling up here and there for me in chap 2 i feel like my view on them and their dynamic has changed drastically.

i’ve been itching to talk about vmin lately.

i think a lot of what i feel about vmin comes from my feelings about taehyung. so do be warned here.

vmin have that “we grew up together so we stay in touch but have nothing in common anymore so its awkward” energy to me. i think they definitely were very close at one point, i find it hard to believe you can fake moments like jimin comforting tae in bv3 without having somewhat of a connection.

even then, they’ve always had a strong difference in maturity and personality which made them butt heads. again, my read on them:

- i happened to read a tkkr post saying that the members have talked at length about jimin’s anger and how he was so problematic. and would want them to answer for that claim, because idk where the hell that came from. to me, jimin emphasizes his consideration of others and maintains this expectation for the people around him. from what we see and what they tell us, he is kind and polite, but angry when there’s reason to be. jimin is heralded by much of army for being emotionally mature.

- tae on the other hand, is self-serving to a fault, so much so that its at others’ expense. he comes first, everyone else is second, much more immature. tae also touts a “macho” exterior (from what i saw in ays, seemingly not totally joking). even jimin said that he used to mock him openly.

my vmin lore is rusty, but the dumpling incident and the bunk bed story are enough to showcase their differences. jimin was considerate enough to give tae the top bunk, assuming they would switch so it would be equal. but tae refused. why? cuz he had it good and didn’t want to give it up. they had scheduled practice, it wasn’t supposed to take long, if tae waited to eat they could all eat together. but it was all about him he had to eat first. tae expects people to rush to him at the drop of a hat, make accommodations last minute and include him in things when he shows up in the middle of a shoot. these are all things i don’t think jimin would even dream of doing and it creates a rift.

in are you sure, you really see how jimin has learned tae’s immaturity very well to the point where he just gives in at any chance. he’ll join in on joking but often kind of babies him. where jungkook doesn’t put up with tae’s bullshit, jimin will. and that probably comes from putting up fights with him about it for so long that he gave up. it’s just how tae is. and if tae sees anyone else acting in ways he wouldn’t (ham/pink sausage clip, sunscreen on the boat) he calls it out immediately. jimin will say something is harsh to protect tae, but tae does it in an oddly insulting way.

the sunscreen specifically showed me a difference between vmin. tae says “even if i was scared, i’d never cower in front of jungkook.” purely because jimin backed down while playfighting with jungkook, he had to make a weird backhanded comment about jimin’s “pride” and how he isn’t manly enough to fight back. and i think this is a main difference between vmin identity wise, where jimin is very comfortable in his masculinity and gender expression, to the point where he told fans calling him masculine and strong wasn’t what he wanted. but tae not only had this plan to bulk in the military but has these weird power fantasies about jungkook that jimin debunks immediately. i think this boils down to another difference in personality you might not expect. but tae’s attitudes here i feel match the assumptions i would make about his friend group. so it ends up making sense.

i think similarly to how tae has seemingly found stronger connections outside of jimin, i think jimin has always had a strong friendship with jungkook, but also has built a true connection with hobi and more recently yoongi as well. namjoon has been a collaborator and mentor for jimin music wise and they get along well too. i think they have filled the vmin gap in their friendships with better ones. jimin will support all of his members til the end, which includes tae. i think with how absent i feel they have been in each other’s lives as of late, tae doesn’t even think to publicly support jimin.

on shipping them, its null and void. vmin shippers are also just another tae stan in disguise.

of course its nice to maintain friendships with old friends, but the fandom still calling them soulmates feels like we are hanging on by a thread. there’s not much left behind the aesthetics of a fanmeet, “i like you the most,” and a screen recording of a youtube performance. we never will truly know how their friendship has changed but that’s my two cents.

[jmdbjk]

I think he wants us to grow up some...

Besides bringing up the topics of mental health wellness, the dangers of over-drinking and finding out Jimin can turn out bangers for songs, there were a few other take aways from this past week:

1. Jimin has introduced us to the fact he says “fuck off.” I bet he says it a lot. If I had to put up with all the bullshit he does, I’d be grumpy and yell fuck off a lot too. I want to hear him say it while he’s reading comments during a live. While giggling.

2. Jimin keeps prodding us constantly and subtly by showing us things that are queer. This is not new. There is a message there. At the very least, Jimin is interested in showing us different ideas about gender identity using his own performances. Try to comprehend. Google is your friend.

3. Jimin tried to gently introduce us to visuals of him being touched intimately by women AND men who are not the other members. Touching his face is intimate. Touching his torso is intimate. Sliding a hand up his thigh was intimate. It was a touching gangbang... ahem... okay, that word was extreme, sorry, where were we? Oh yeah... anyway.

4. Jimin has images of people making out in Like Crazy. People kissing. Each other. On the lips. Swapping spit and stuff...well, I’m just assuming that. I bet he’s done that before too. Rabbit spit is spicy. 

5. Jimin partying in a club. With people. Dancing on the bar. Throwing back shots. Dancing with men who are not the other members. Maybe your eyeballs had probably fallen out of your head already so you might have missed it. Go find them and then go look at the video again.

6. Jimin is not afraid to show us his body art. However, he understands the power of teasing us and he wields that power deftly. But he sure wanted to show off his beautiful moons and he did. FINALLY!

I think Jimin wants us to grow up so he can show us the adult that he obviously is. I want us to grow up too so he can show us his adult themes. Stop telling any of them to what to do. They are grown ups. 

[5and3nevermind]

I knew something was off about that translation I even pointed it out on twt and got harassed by the jimin is straight truthers (they're in full force after muse era which is so disappointing). Glad to know I was right thanks for posting that!

Anon, I’m so sorry that people were bothering you. Somehow the fandom has reached a point where people are harassed for having an opinion, even an opinion that isn’t harmful or combative.

I have to say, I’m mystified by the determination of some people to prove that Jimin is straight. Why is it important to them that people see Jimin as straight? It certainly doesn’t seem to be important to Jimin.

His conversation with Joon didn’t reveal that he’s “looking for a wife” or any other gendered hints about his personal life or about the meaning of Who.

And we can’t forget that Jimin wore a portrait of Robert Maplethorpe not once but twice during Face era. We’re talking about a photographer who’s best known for documenting the gay male B/D S/M subculture of the 60s and 70s in NYC. That’s pretty specific. Jimin knows that when he films a music video, it will be watched for years by so many people. I think it’s safe to say he was aware of whose picture he was wearing.

Of course, this isn’t proof of Jimin’s sexual identity, but it does show that he is not on a mission to tell the world he’s straight. So, why have certain fans decided they will make this their own mission?

I’d be so curious to have a civil conversation with some of these people who are out to prove his straightness, although I don’t think that’s possible. I wonder if they realize that Elton John, George Michael, and Ricky Martin all sang about women at one point or another. I wonder if they are aware they dated and/or were married to women at various points in their lives.

Anyway, of course it’s worth noting that Jimin used “she” during Who. But it’s also worth noting that his album is called Muse, and that muses are traditionally depicted as female. It’s also worth noting that we got an English version of Be Mine (plus the rest of the album) that didn’t include female pronouns.

We don’t know anything for sure unless Jimin chooses to tell us, but if we’re going to explore this topic, shouldn’t we look at the big picture and not just one song?

[banghwa-moved]

Like Crazy (2023) as a discussion of (queer) loneliness 

hiiii anyways i keep saying Like Crazy is incredibly bisexual/queer and its been hard to explain why without writing an essay so. without further ado:

*DISCLAIMER* I am not claiming I know anything about how Jimin identifies or the intended message of the album, nor am I claiming my interpretation as above any other. This is just my reading of FACE and Like Crazy as a gay person of colour and a grad student writing a thesis on transness where I discuss topics of loneliness as a systemic form of violence and intimacy. I am also looking at this from a very Western perspective; though I know there are likely many Korean and likely queer Korean authors, theorists, and poets evoking similar ideas, I’ll be making reference to authors that I am familiar with who are better known in a Western context.

Loneliness as a cycle of abjection

“I want to introduce Jimin’s true feelings that I didn’t bring up anywhere else. I looked back on myself and honestly expressed my […] emptiness and loneliness.”

I don’t think it would take a particularly high level of analysis to conclude that FACE, and Like Crazy more specifically, are meant to explore loneliness as a process of self-alienation. Non-binary author Olivia Laing describes the cycle of loneliness as one where: 

“[…] the lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself.” 

It’s very clear from the beginning of the music video for Like Crazy that Jimin struggles with reconciling a comfort in loneliness with a need to experience intimacy. Regardless of his efforts, the rot of loneliness is never far, seeps in through the walls and stains his hands. As (ironically) relatable of an experience as loneliness is, it does not occur in a vacuum. Rather, the unique experience of queer loneliness and rejection is one riddled by othering from acceptable sexuality and gender experiences and an inability to be framed within normative categories. Robert Phillips, scholar in language analysis as it pertains to gay male sexuality, wrote on abjection through a trans studies framework. To him, the process of horror or unease that defines abjection, through which the “other” is separated from and by an “us,” goes beyond “casting out” and becomes more interactive process; the hegemonic is protected by rejecting whatever does not conform, that is ambiguous, that does not fit in box. “The anxiety at the root of this unease with transgender subjectivity can be traced back, in part, to a fear of the ambiguous.” Loneliness, like queerness, acts as a sort of mark of Cain, a characteristic that becomes so impeded in our being that it if first noticeable and then rejectable. 

Despite being marked by loneliness, Jimin is the center of attention for the first act of the music video, featuring him crowd surfing and posing delicately for pictures. Yet, despite his yearning, he makes no move for intimacy. The music video implies the possibility that it is the result of this very hypervisibility as a figure of softness and boyishness, inviting parallels to be made here with the foucauldian references and the power play between surveillance and identity in other areas of the album, namely Set Me Free Pt. 2 (a discussion for another post for another time…..).

Hedonism as an escape

“[Like Crazy] expresses the emotions of the moment when you run away from reality to forget your wounds.”

The overlap between loneliness and overt sexuality is why eroticism is so culturally important to queer communities. Like Crazy explores desire and intimacy through what can be called a queer lens, as an escape and as an unsuccessful means to being perceived and acknowledged outside of suffering. The whole poem is absolutely beautiful, but a specific excerpt of gay Asian-American poet Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous comes to mind: “Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here? I was still here once.” As Like Crazy, Vuong’s poem discusses intimacy as the antithesis to loneliness. To be intimate is to come out of ones self.  The erotic becomes an avenue to salvation (I will permit myself a little shoutout to Christian mythos by drawing parallel to the Song of Songs - we all dream of kissing God, of laying with the presence of something larger than us, and finding deliverance from it!). 

Like Crazy communicates a power struggle between desperation for intimacy and an addiction to loneliness. What Jimin says about it and the juxtaposition with the actual visuals of the music video paints the picture of an attempt to build closeness on the foundations of perpetual solitude. In Like Crazy, closeness is futile. Loneliness becomes a lifelong lover, and intimacy an occasional affair. Though still better than perpetual solitude, it is marked by disillusion: “I’d rather be lost in the light.” Rather than evoke the image of a passionate one-night-stand, it acknowledges of the persistence of loneliness. queer latino write John Paul Brammer evokes this feeling: 

“Loneliness, I find, continues too. Our relationship with solitude is one of the most important ones we have in this life. No matter how full and vibrant and loud we make things, the quiet always finds us.”

Despite Jimin’s desires for closeness, we don’t actually see him making any move for closeness. Rather, despite his best efforts, he walks against the course of those around him in a repeated shot before knocking the camera’s lens away; again, a parallel to the surveillance of set me free, as well as a possible denial of him pace against the grain.

Queer desires and longing

“Let me have a taste / Give me a good ride.”

For non-queer people, what is difficult to understand in the particularities of queer loneliness is its entwining with desire. It’s an unspeakable yearning - as much in the ways it is indescribable as it is often life-threatening to do so. It is a profound sense of non-belonging felt in the knowledge that you are not as others are or see you because of a fundamental issue with how - and for whom - you experience desire. As a result, the erotic and sexuality along the margins of what is normative, i.e. reproductive cisgender heterosexual missionary sex after marriage, are profoundly radical and embodied manifestations of queer desire: kink, bondage, leather, sadomasochism, casual sex, chemsex, etc. all contribute to this expression of queer intimacy and self actualization.

I know I’m being a little dramatic in the set-up here but it is really difficult to try to explain this inherent outcasthood to straight people. It is such a specific experience that is so untranslatable, and yet it is a feeling that I pick up so strongly in the Like Crazy music video. The remedying of sexuality with the profound alienation that queer people feel up until, very often, a dramatic and self-destructive discovery in young-adulthood, is something that straight/cis people just can’t understand. Leading African queer scholar and (erotic) writer Keguro Macharia writes: 

“what is the taste of loneliness? / salt-bitter-sweet-nothing / after midnight, in cars, in booths in sex shops, in dark bedrooms, in anonymous hotel rooms, encounter after encounter, trading orgasms for ‘hold me’ and ‘let’s cuddle’ ‘if I suck you off, will you cuddle with me’ ‘if I let you fuck me, will you cuddle with me’.”

I’m not knowledgeable on kink culture so I won’t get too into it but I think it’s really interesting how submissive the lyrics come off. What is striking about the way Like Crazy approaches desire that sets it apart from any generic “we found love in this club”-type pop song is its desperate tone rather than one that boasts virility with promises of a “good time.” Instead, Jimin is the one pleading.

Queer loneliness as liberation

“She’s saying, ‘Baby, don’t think about it / There’s not a bad thing here tonight.”

Like Vuong’s poem, Like Crazy could also become a larger question on a heterosexual culture that is increasingly anxious about bodies and touch. The music video can be clocked as having the intention to discuss the erotic - the Robert Mapplethorpe reference is enough to assert this - yet it does so very tamely. Everyone is clothed, no one touches too much, the atmosphere is fun, chill, controlled. Jimin, despite his expressed desperation for closeness and hedonism as told through the lyrics and through his interaction with those at the party, through the careless throwing back of shots, does not find what he needs. The environment is too controlled, too “straight” (as in “proper,” or “innocuous”). He himself does not find any intimacy. He stays at the center of it all, untouched, and not daring to get closer. 

Something that is reflected by a lot of trans theory writers (some whom I’ve read including Paisley Currah and Dean Spade) is that the normalization process in inclusion produces and reproduces ideas on who is and “insider” and who is an “outsider.” I read a bit of Melissa Caroll’s thesis on the political implications of queer loneliness as part of my own (much shorter) thesis. In it she discusses how “straight” culture, through the aforementioned social accounting processes, delimit the realm of the socially accessible, in a process Denise Riley calls loneliness. Caroll says: 

“Currently, any public declaration that “I am lonely” presumes that we are registering this feeling based on what we have been led to believe that loneliness, as a term, means: sad, alone, lacking, in need or want of friends, odd, bizarre, queer, and unhappy.”

Heteronormative abjection of queer and trans modes of being are increasingly reclaimed as constructive and disruptive political strategies. As postmodernist feminist scholar Julia Kristeva writes, abjection is “the place where meaning collapses.” Rejection of inclusion to instead embody abjection and loneliness is another cornerstone of queer self-affirmation that is explored, again, through the erotic and the sexually obscene. The tame nature of the music video, Jimin’s desperation, implies a dissociation from himself and a refusal to face himself. There is an acknowledgement of the futility of his desires for closeness beyond what he is “marked” for, that it will “break” him yet he refuses to be “saved.”

So, regardless of whether Like Crazy truly is an attempt to explore the unique nuances of queer loneliness, it is clear that what it does discuss is struggle against self. The music video depicts not romantic rejection or conflict, but rather an imposed alienation. A self-rejection from an objected self and from a normative way of life. The stained, leather clad hand presumably belonging to Jimin himself dragging him to the party, the knocking away of the camera as a refusal to accept a self or to showcase that “wound,” the interplay between the warm shots of androgyny and desire contrasted with the cool setting of the club. The premise of the music video and its use of a movie itself is a refraction of this longing and abjection in a way; what does it say to attempt to translate a profound feeling of disorientation and loneliness within a normative context through the reference of a romance film featuring a White, conventionally attractive, heterosexual, cisgender, normative couple as a man of colour often read as gender non-conforming? 

TLDR: Whether Like Crazy or FACE globally means to discuss queer loneliness and desire, the way they are ultimately explored and the play on gender and belonging imply a framework that is, intentionally or not, queer. 

[andy-wm]

Who is your gender bias?

Alongside the concept of an 'ult bias', i think we should also celebrate our 'gender bias'.

Jimin is my gender bias.

I know we've talked about this A LOT but i need to say it again today.

Jimin is a fucking hero.

He had to work incredibly hard, challenging himself and his own beliefs and the accepted wisdom of society while directly in the public eye.

Its hard enough to go through this without an audience.

He is watched from every angle, at every moment and because he challenges their viewpoint, plenty of people love to find fault with him. He had to tread a careful path.

He had to make choices and it cost him, but ultimately it freed him.

Hurry up and be me soon...

Jimin has come a long way since 2014.

These days he looks comfortable in his skin.

He has a remarkable ability to adorn himself with any accessory or item of clothing and make it his.

He presents masculine with femme energy just as comfortably as he adopts a soft femme look while still being in his 'boy zone'. And he does it all so effortlessly and unselfconsciously.

He's also a pro at adopting any look - be it sexy minx or androgenous cool - and taking it out of the gender conversation completely.

He is beyond gender.

He is, simply, Jimin.

I aspire to that level of comfort in my own body and with my gender identity.

It brings joy to my life, seeing him flex his own self as gender.

Bravo, Jimin, you are my absolute gender hero.

And just for laughs... (but its all true)