#jimin and jungkook would get so into it and hobi would have a mental breakdown every 0.2 seconds

[hollyhomburg]

Before I leave you (Pt.67)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: You and Hobi bury a dead body (That's a lie, Yoongi buries it for you).

Tags: blood, gore, body horror, death, dead bodies, everyone is pretty beat-up in this, brief implied self-harm but it's very quickly squashed- seriously it's nowhere near as bad as past scenes but i do have to tag it, Dissociation, tae is in the freeze part of fight or flight. hurt/comfort, mental breakdowns, flashbacks, discussions of past abusive relationships, everything is very fluffy until it's not,

W/c: 12.5k

A/N: Are you guys ready for Hoseok's secret reveal??? I'm really excited!!! But also terrified because this whole series has lead up to this point!!! A good number of people have already guessed his secret so congrats on getting it early <3

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

Jimin sits on the stairs going down to the basement. His arm in a sling and bandaged up to the elbow. It aches with every small movement he makes as he peals a tangerine. He hasn't had any narcotics in a few hours and they're starting to wear off.

Jimin needs all of his brain power for this; For covering up the murder.

The fewer things running through his system the less sluggish and fuzzy his thoughts are. Jimin picks his poisons and fewer things make him less coherent than the panic and pain and near constant avalanche of thoughts. Tae, Tae's hurt, Tae's-

Tae's fine, Tae's upstairs with Y/n. he has to remind himself of these facts every few breaths. Tae's going to be okay because you wouldn't let anything happen to her.

There is evidence of that virtually everywhere; In the lines across your hands that Yoongi had dabbed at with a cool cloth, the swollen side of your jaw that he'd cradled. The blood drenching the opposite side of your face that he'd tenderly washed away. Not to mention the blood on the kitchen table, the floor, the ceiling. The blood splattered across your nest-

You don't fuck with an omega's nest; you don't fuck with their packmates.

Jimin quiets his brain with a steady breath as he looks down at Yoongi, Jin, and the body between the three of them wrapped in plastic.

He manages to peel the tangerine in his hand despite how uncooperative his left hand is. Numb at the fingertips just like it’s been since the surgery.

Namjoon had stroked his fingers and tested their give every chance he got, holding onto them and prodding while they waited in the hospital room and then again when Jimin got discharged. He said that they’d probably get better. Probably.

Tae's going to be fine because Namjoon is there too- had checked out her head with that soft alpha grumble croon of his. The most soothing sound in the world, and yet incapable of soothing this.

But Jimin knows nothing’s for certain, he might never get the feeling in his hand back. (This is Jimin's penance; The reminder of these tangled few weeks and how things went will be ever present. The reminder will be the first press of every touch with his non-dominant hand. He will never regain full feeling to the tips of his fingers. Never).

There are a few of noodle paw prints in the dust here, Jimin's ass is no doubt covered in it too from resting on the rickety stairs that lead into the half-finished basement. Little paw print marks that would make you coo and take pictures if you were down here.

But you’re not, you’re upstairs getting the evidence washed off of you.

No one's in that kind of mood right now anyway. No one’s been in that kind of mood for a few hours (or a few days, if he’s being honest, from Jungkook’s seizure, to getting shot, and then coming home to a dead body in their living room).

It’s been 4 hours since you killed someone in the kitchen. 3 hours since Jimin was discharged prematurely from the hospital and the rest of the pack was summoned home via a disturbingly calm call from Jin.

It’s been a tangle of moments even for the people not on hard drugs. Jimin feels like he's doing pretty good at answering the pack’s questions given the circumstances. You'd never know that, given Yoongi's eye roll and Jin's heavy sigh.

"Minnie- we're not asking you how you would have killed him just how you'd cover it up."

They used an old shower liner to wrap the body before they carried it downstairs. It makes a squeaky noise against Jin's rubber gloves (The pink elbow-high ones that he uses to do the dishes) as he pulls back the plastic sheet to reveal what's left of the assassin's head and face.

“I already told you, I don’t know his face- not even a little.” I’d have a pretty hard time identifying his face with the state she left it in regardless Is what he doesn't say.

Jimin tucks his chin, unsettled to look at the man's half-blown apart face for long. "I think he might be the spider but I don’t know. I never met him, only heard his name in passing.”

A small tattoo on the man's wrist reveals as much. A small spider tattoo that someone going to have to cut out and bury separately. Someone's going to have to get all of his teeth too- no identifying marks. None.

He’s a little too impressed with the state you’d left him in when he thinks about it. But once he’d seen your face and Hobi’s neck, not an inch of Jimin had felt the kill wasn’t justified. The whole pack feels that way, he knows they must even though they don't say it. Everyone's a little bit in shock right now.

Even Namjoon hadn’t even given the body a second glance when the pack had tumbled into the house. The pack alpha had simply alternated his fussing from you to Hobi to tae and then Jin. Torn between who needed him first. It was the first words Jimin had heard you speak. Your wet gasp, blood that wasn't yours flashing on your teeth. "Joonie- Hobi needs you."

Namjoon had calmed only once he realized that most of the blood on the three of you was the man’s. Yoongi had a similar reaction and so had Jimin, clutching at Tae. Angry at his arm for its uncooperativeness. About ready to tug off his sling and his bandages and stitches if it meant holding tae easier. He'd even tried it, only to be on the receiving end of a disapproving pack alpha growel too.

“Jimin you can’t; your stitches.”

“Fuck my stitches hyung.”

Numb fingers meet numb faces.

He's a bit ashamed of it, but when he first looked up from Tae to you- where you sat crumpled in Yoongi's hold. Your mate laying down a volley of sweet nothings to you to get you to stop shaking. There was only one sentence running through his head.

That’s my girl.

He'd reached over and squeezed your hand, blood and all. That blood has dried now. Soaked into the lines of his palm. Coloring his fate and love lines all rusty while he eats the tangerine. He should probably wash his hands. All of them probably need too.

Jungkook had been the only one willing to speak, closing the door softly behind him, locking it and treading softly closer. Careful to sidestep both the pools of blood and the piece of a skull sitting next to the couch. He looked down at the 7 of you with a surprisingly calm expression on his face.

"Can't we have one normal fucking day?"

Jungkook was the one who’d gone to the kitchen and gotten one of the hand towels to clean your face. His lips tightened to a line when he wiped away the blood and started to see the bruising, the cut across your temple dripping fresh. Lower lip wobbling ever so slightly.

“Kookie-”

Jungkook had turned to Jin and Namjoon, “I don’t want to deal with the body hyung." His hands were already under your arms, lifting you up, helpless. "Help me get them upstairs. We need to-” he’d let out a frustrated noise. Instincts coming to the full front- instincts he rarely feels.

Who knew blood would incur Jungkook's grooming instincts?

The last time Jimin saw Jungkook; He was helping Namjoon and Yoongi herd the three of you upstairs for a much-needed shower. Hobi hadn't been able to do it under his own power. Namjoon had to carry him.

Hobi; who's choked on every word he's tried to speak. Whose eyes are still red from all the burst blood vessels. Who easily got the closest to dying out of the four of you.

Everyone shakes when they touch Hobi and everyone touches him softly. Namjoon just about snaps his teeth at anyone who tries to get close. His hands turning red from the cold of an ice pack wrapped gently around the alpha's throat.

Jimin knows Jungkook's a lot more unnerved than he lets on, shuffling from foot to foot as he bound Tae up with a towel, taking her delicately from Jimin's arms. Carrying her in the same way Namjoon carried Hobi.

Yoongi was all soft helping you upstairs. Speaking in that quiet voice that he saves for Sunday mornings and stolen moments of quiet. Every moment, all of this is stolen.

And now- the beta is down here, leaning over the body and looking at it like it will tell him something that you won't. After your initial demand that Namjoon he tend to Hobi; you haven't spoken a word. Neither has Tae. Jin's done all of the talking.

There isn’t much to say.

Jimin feels the numbness in his hands and looks at Jin. He hasn't apologized for the bullet yet. But the more time that passes the less Jimin wants an apology. Mating marks come in many forms. Jimin has a scar on his body from one of his omega's- so really? What does he have to be upset about?

The whole house needs to be deep cleaned, and then deep cleaned again. There's blood everywhere; on the couch, the ceiling, the curtains. It's a lot to clean. It's going to be a lot to hide.

That's the only reason why Jimin's not upstairs helping you and Tae clean up right now; the body is unfortunately the biggest threat to the pack's safety at the moment.

There’s a bloodstain on the stairs too, a droplet next to where Jimin sits. he makes a mental note of it but doesn't move to wipe it up. He puts a tangerine slice on his tongue and chews before he answers Yoongi’s next question.

“I don’t know how to dispose of a body, I never dealt with this part. My only job was to kill, not take care of them after. I know there’s a way that you can do it with soap.”

Jin snorts, “You only know that from breaking bad-“

Jimin’s a little miffed, “We already have a plastic tub upstairs-”

“Lye,” Yoongi corrects, looking down at the body before he stoops to retape the plastic over the man's face. It was a bitch to wrap him up, the body stiff and heavy from rigor Mortis. The blood beneath it bubbles and darkens, coagulating. Yoongi's long hair falls over his face and he tucks it behind his ear.

“We could use the soap, but it might take a few days.” Jin clarifies.

“Do you think we can wait that long?”

“Absolutely not,” Jin’s got a similar ice pack to his wrists, the skin there bruised and red and swelling where he fought to get free from the handcuffs, where he eventually ripped down the banisters and broke through them with brute strength and panic.

You’d found the keys on the man’s body soon after and released him from the handcuffs, they're wrapped up in the plastic along with the frying pan, the gun that killed him, and a few other items from the living room that were just too bloodstained, every big piece of evidence will lie right beside him where he rests.

Jimin eats another slice of the tangerine, and Jin shrivels his nose at it. “Isn’t that a little gross?”

Yoongi mirrors his disgust. “Yeah Minnie, weren’t those covered in blood?”

But Jimin just shrugs, “I washed it and peeled it hyung” And keeps eating. After a few days of hospital food, the tangerines taste divine.

Yoongi stands from where he’s kneeling on his knees with a faint crack. “One part kitty litter, two parts concrete should keep out the smell,” Jin says, eyeing the 6 by-six-foot hole in the basement's foundation, already there from the plumbing that needed replacing.

Most of Yoongi's tools are down here too. His scrap pile of wood and the dozen bags of concrete. His hack saw and his circular saw that none of them are looking at. Yoongi had only just fit in the plumbing a few weeks ago. He'd been about to re-pour the foundation anyway.

“I’d rather not have a body buried in our house.”

Yoongi touches Jin’s wrist, so feather-light, removing the ice pack to check the swelling to see if it’s gone down. Jin's left hand is just as useless as Jimin's, the knuckles bruised and ballooned.

“It’s just for a few weeks, we can deal with this once it’s all calmed down, but we absolutely can’t go try and bury it. Who knows what the neighbors heard?”

They're all silent at that, silent at the idea that these few hours might be the last few that the pack spends free.

But over the next few hours, there are no blue and red flashing lights outside or concerned neighbors that come knocking. Your one saving grace is that this all happened during the middle of the day and all of your nearest neighbors have nine to five's. Is it so simple to hope that everyone was just at work? That no one heard the gunshots over the nearby roar of the passing train?

(Maybe they're just too used to the pack next door; the one that has the noisy ruts and noisy noisy packmates. The one whose alphas have a habit of opening the windows in the back room and let the sound of their roughhousing and video games flood the street. The ones who have extra loud movie nights. They're just a bunch of kids, how harmful could they really be? At least the pack alpha and omega look respectable.)

It's a good thing that no one comes; because Namjoon has more important problems, more important things to handle beyond the body in the basement or the police at the door.

Namjoon’s hands cradle Hobi’s neck. He wheeze as he tries to speak, his mouth falling open. He's mostly clean, but a rusty trickle of water from his hair trails down his shoulders.

Jungkook tugged him into the shower first and gave him a rough clean before handing him back to Namjoon. They sit on a towel together on the edge of the nest. they only moved him in here to give him some privacy- to distract him because Hobi kept reaching for you. you'd kept reaching back, tae was already in the shower under the stream.

"Pup- your hands- you're going to hurt yourself."

The Nestroom is dark and quiet. Every single blind in the house is draw. Only the christmas lights illuminate Hobi's injuries. Namjoon will tend to Tae and then you after he's checked out Hobi's injuries. will send him downstairs with Jin for some cold water to soothe his throat once he's done. once he's been cleaned again probably.

Hobi was covered with the most blood, having been just under the man when Tae had blown his throat apart while you- Namjoon doesn't want to think of it, doesn't want to see it.

(Namjoon thinks of every moment, sees them behind every blink. Blink and he sees you sitting in his lap over breakfast squirming happily. Blink and you're kneeling in a bloody puddle looking up at him.

Blink and you're curled up in the nest wearing the first pajama pants he'd given you. Blink and he's watching Jungkook dab at your bloody cheek, blink and you're turning into his hand to nuzzle as he wakes you for sunday morning breakfast. Blink and there’s sunlight spilling across your face and blood slipping down your chin. Namjoon's smallest and most sensitive pup not so innocent anymore.)

Namjoon touches Hobi's throat with no small amount of reverence. it cools the anger in his throat. Namjoon's anger has no good place to go.

When Hobi closes his eyes, he sees it too; the explosion of the bullet and the splat of blood pouring down his face. The shower earlier felt so similar- he almost couldn't handle it. He had to concentrate on Jungkook's voice narrating everything.

"Here Hobi, I'm gonna use some soap now. I like Tae's body wash. You know she always just picks whatever bottles are pinkest because she wants all her toiletries to match. It smells good, doesn't it? Can you take a deep breath for me? Through your nose?"

Endless meaningless Jibber jabber to distract all of them.

Now he shivers and shakes in Namjoon's hold. One part terror and one part near frostbite. Namjoon turns the heat up but Hobi still shakes as Namjoon checks his throat. "Open for me baby- that's a good boy."

He flashes a light down there, listening with his stethoscope. The cold metal end of it presses against his collarbones and the bruises too. Finger-shaped that lace over his jugular like a collar. Over Hobi's heart. Every thump ba-thump ba-thump music to Namjoon's ears.

Namjoon’s growl is soothing as he scoots closer to gather the injured alpha close to his chest. Shushing Hobi as he tries to speak for the dozenth time in the last hour. “Don’t try it, careful- I don’t think he did any lasting damage but-”

Namjoon breaks and his forehead drops to Hoseok’s shoulder, fingers rub out soothing circles on Hobi's wrist even as he starts to cry. Namjoon already stitched up the deep puncture wound there. He had to hold his wrist still as he dabbed the stingy antiseptic, the impulse to pull it away too great. The wound wasn't from a bullet but from the piece of the door that embedded itself in Hobi’s wrist. Blown apart the way he could have been.

Namjoon was so close to losing everything, to losing them.

The bruises, Hobi’s eyes, and his little raspy breaths. Everything both punishment and payment for every violent thing Namjoon wants to do. He feels powerless to do more than hold the smaller alpha right now. The strength in his arms doing little to protect Hobi from the hurts he's already nursing. Hoseok leans his head on Namjoon's shoulder and Just lets the alpha hold him.

If he’d come home to the four of you dead what would he have done? more accurately- What wouldn’t he have done?

Namjoon imagines it- the same way he's imagined it thousands of times. Tae's blood on her lips as pretty as any lip stain. Jin on the floor, his little big love wrapped up in permanent stillness like a mating shroud. Your body turned small and quiet the way you'd been when he'd met you- only so much worse. Hobi with his heart slow and absent of his near-constant music. Bodies stiff as statues, turned alters meant to worship both grief and love.

He’d probably have demanded Jimin and Yoongi tell him everything they knew. And then he’d have gone hunting.

Namjoon lets out a shaky breath and pulls away from Hoseok only to continue dabbing at his wounds. The violence of his alpha's instincts calmed by the sanctity of this- of making it better. of being gentle even when namjoon wants to be anything but.

Hoseok’s mute. Throat too swollen to make more than a soft hissing sound on command. Vocal cords not damaged just swollen. Leaving his brain to hurdle through the last few hours. Eyes closed but his mind wide open.

He sees it all behind his eyes; your hand descending with the frying pan, the explosion of wood near his head. The splat of hot blood against the wood floor. Gasping and getting blood in his mouth accidentally. Choking in it- drowning a little. Everything. The sting of smoke on his eyes. Your words ring in his ears like the final notes of a symphony.

“You can take me. I’ll go with you. Willingly. That’s what she wants isn’t it?”

Hoseok’s brain teases through what you might have meant with that. The unnamed she that you mention. Who, why, and what aren’t you telling them? Is it the woman that Yoongi talked to you about before?

He's unable to say anything to Namjoon even as the alpha softy cradles his damaged throat. Unable to even whisper it out through the swelling that threatens to cut off Hobi's airway. It feels like he's breathing through a straw. Namjoon says he's not going to choke, that it only feels that way. The panic is hard to let go of.

But who do you have to go back to there? You've never talked about the family like you wanted them, like they were your pack. Who have you run from? What monsters are here to haunt you? Who is after you? Or is it something darker- more sinister?

Maybe Hoseok's heart has never truly healed from Yoongi leaving them. Maybe a wounded heart remembers. Yoongi always had them to go back to that Hoseok had never questioned. But he's never wondered about you or stopped to consider that maybe, Yoongi's not the only one who left something.

The family doesn't exactly seem like something you can walk away from unscathed. Yoongi managed it, but Jimin didn't.

Hoseok should warn Namjoon, should tell someone but- it's impossible. His airway protesting with an agonizing twinge with every attempt he makes at speaking. He wonders if this is what being nonverbal felt like for you.

The pain pulses dully without adrenaline to dilute it as Namjoon so lovingly examines the marks, again and again. But he shouldn't be spending so much time. You and Tae are bruised and battered too- even if Hoseok’s are by far the worst; you need tending to.

Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival.

Hoseok thinks of the body, not the one that sits downstairs, but the one that you found months ago in the ocean. Maybe this wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe none of this was. How far back do the coincidences go? Between Jin and Yoongi who wouldn't have a relationship to stand on without Yoongi's family- how many other things in the pack are because of this?

Hoseok struggles to speak, to talk to Namjoon about what you'd almost done, what you'd almost bartered- but nothing but air comes out, and the pack alpha shushes him. His hands grip Namjoon's shoulders hard.

Namjoon wishes he had more than just numbing cream and sutures for Hobi’s hurts. Jimin’s already offered up some of his opioids for Hobi to sleep and as much as Namjoon hates the idea of anyone swapping medication- Hobi might actually need them.

Jimin’s doctor had been a little bit liberal with them, sure that his 6 on the pain scale had to be at least a 9. He could spare one or two. The truth is that nothing hurts more than this- seeing the people that you love in pain. Jimin and Namjoon save their 10s for days like this.

With the blood cooling, Namjoon’s anger has nowhere to go. The body in the basement has already gone cold.

In the quiet of the house they can audibly hear Seokjin and Yoongi start mixing the concrete. The dull scrape of a shovel against a bucket and the sound of a faucet dripping.

Namjoon wipes at Hobi’s throat, and Hoseok tries again- futile in his efforts to speak. Namjoon shushes him.

In the basement it goes; drip, scrape, drip.

~-~

Jungkook holds Tae up underneath the warm spray of water. The glass is foggy in places and clear and others, occasional spots of red water joining the constellation of them. She rests against Jungkook's chest, her body is prone and almost lifeless. Eyes vacant and glassy.

So shaky and tired as her body rockets down from its adrenaline high. A drop so abrupt that she could hardly hold herself up. A drop so terrifying that Jungkook must do it for her.

He doesn't mind, none of him minds as he cradles the back of her head oh so gently. Tae flinches, whether from pain or the sudden movement. Jungkook meets Jimin's eyes through the foggy glass and then yours. Biting his lower lip before Jimin nods and tells him to keep going.

Evidence is evidence. Washing off can’t wait.

Jimin has joined you upstairs with the body already packed away and on its way to being buried under the foundation of the house. Jimin watches on from outside the shower as he instructs Jungkook in a quiet voice on how to clean Tae of evidence properly. He's been quiet since then. Staring at them while Tae stares blankly back.

You watch them from where you sit. Mostly you just watch Tae. When Namjoon's body doesn’t block your view. He stitches the gash on your forehead, hands pulling the sutures closed in a gentle and practiced way. The pass of the needle through your skin a distant sensation.

The wounds on your hands are in that awkward place of not being deep enough for stitches but still a little too deep to not need something. After a brief debate, Namjoon sealed them with a bit of non-surgical glue that stung terribly and then regular gauze over the top.

Your hands are swelling and clotting. Scabbing although trying to touch anything is too painful. Closing your fingers at all hurts. Namjoon holds you so lightly it hardly feels like he's holding you at all.

Namjoon apologizes after every wince.

The second he’s done he tosses his suture kit into the bathroom sink with a clang the second he’s done. Namjoon gets on his knees before you. The plastic that covers the whole bathroom crackling as he does.

Jimin had the great idea to cover the bathroom with sheets of plastic to cut down on the cleanup. Hoseok's bloody footprints join Tae's trailing from the doorway to the shower. Join the trail that you left. Parts of you are still dripping.

"It's going to scar," Namjoon says, a little sadly. Thumb skimming over the mark on your forehead.

You swallow hard. You still taste blood. You want to brush your teeth; you want to shut the lights off and go to sleep. You want Noodle and you want Yoongi you want everything from the past few hours- the past few years to be gone and over with. You want-

You want to snap at him and tell him that it doesn't matter that it will scar. That you're covered with scars already and you don't care but-

Namjoon kisses your forehead. A lingering brush. The one spot that's not bloody.

You look over at Tae and her eyes flicker blankly to you. Jungkook keeps bringing the boar bristle brush up and down her back in soothing little circles.

When you turn back to Namjoon he's pursing his lips and blinking away tears as he looks down at your hands. You resist the urge to say you’re sorry. You’re not sure what for. The terrible feral hunger in you gone as quick as it's come.

Namjoon’s fingers wrap around the hollow of your knees, and you meet his eyes, even though you don’t want to. It feels too much like a confession already.

“I’m going to say this now, before you get any ideas; This is not your fault and I am not mad at you and Tae for doing what you did-”

“Namjoon-”

He continues on, words rushing out. “I’m proud of you pup, so proud. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I promise I won’t disappoint you again as pack alpha-” You cover his mouth with your hand, gauze and all.

The bit of gauze over your palm is already turning bloody. It's hard to tell if it's your blood or if it's his. You’re the last one to shower. The last one to get clean. Namjoon shouldn’t be touching you at all.

And yet he does, yet he cradles your face, brushes the tears from your cheeks, gets blood on his hands. Evidence is evidence, but love has a steeper sort of price if you don't express it when you can.

When you take your hand away, Namjoon doesn’t try to speak again. someone says something that you don't hear, that you can't hear.

Namjoon stands and when you look up, Jungkook has the shower door open for you.

Because the bandages and the glue on your hands can’t get wet Namjoon binds your hands with Ziplock bags and duct tape. The plastic rustles, and you follow Hobi's bloody footprints into Jungkook’s arms. Namjoon closes the door behind you.

Every bit of plastic is going to get melted down later, until all the blood and terror evaporates through something as simple and trivial as fire. Fire will cleanse it of all evidence, as sure as the burning water you step under.

You're not quite sure what you're going to do about the bullet holes in the walls or the blown-apart door to the upstairs bedroom, but Yoongi’s always had a handle on the home improvement stuff.

Jungkook helps you disrobe off your bloodied clothing. Lifting your shirt over your head and stooping, telling you to hold onto his shoulders so that he can take off your sweatpants. You're pretty sure they're Yoongi's but there's no time to get sentimental as he puts them inside a garbage bag along with Tae's and Hobi's clothes.

Everything on your person is evidence. When you look back Namjoon's gone, summoned by Jin's distant call from downstairs. It's just Jimin outside of the shower. watching you, but mostly watching Tae.

You’d be more self-conscious of your nude body if your brain wasn’t still racing. It’s hard to do much with the bags on your hands. But Jungkook squirts out a healthy dollop of your favorite shampoo and gets to work once the conditioner is in Tae’s hair. She sits like a discarded ball-jointed doll on the built-in bench. Her long hair hair stuck like a sheet over her eyes.

Nothing is as important as making sure you’re not found out. And the frothy shampoo turns rusty around Jungkook's fingers. You have to have a lot of blood on your face. All the water that rolls off of you goes pink.

Jungkook is gentle even by your hairline scratching against your scalp with his fingers. The skin there is tender. Namjoon taped a bit of gauze over the sutures too. You don't remember when he did that.

You make a noise. “Too rough?” his voice has something unreadable in it, something soft and concerned.

You don't respond because Yoongi makes his reappearance at the doorway. The black shirt he wears is dusty at the front from the concrete. His eyes single focused on you the second he enters the room. You stare at him the way that Tae stares at Jimin. Jungkook just huffs and pulls you a little more snugly against his chest.

Tae stands in the corner of the shower, still staring at Minnie. Minnie who stares back, practically not blinking. Both of their anguish are hidden behind glass. Like fish in tanks that could never get out. Not really.

Part of Tae gets washed away down the drain. Swirling and gurgling down and down with no one to notice.

Tae stares off blankly into space. Sometimes Jimin talks to her and sometimes he hums through the glass, he'd be in there too if his bandages couldn't get wet either. If Namjoon hadn’t yanked him back from the doorway and told him that he couldn't.

Jungkook takes the boar bristle brush to your body too. Everything has to be scrubbed multiple times until your skin feels nearly raw from it. Tae’s fingernails, her arms, your neck, the side of your face, the hollow at the inside of your arms. Your knees. Everywhere.

He apologizes when he goes over bruises, wincing, clutching you a little tighter, a little closer to make up for the pain. But Jungkook is meticulous as he cleans of evidence until you feel groomed clean. Until there’s no more blood swirling down the drain just clear water, and the light outside has turned pearly and blue in the twilight.

Tae's still silent. She's been quiet beyond the occasional heartbreaking whimper since you both killed that man. Eventually, You push at Jungkook's hands with a pointed look in her direction where she's slumped and he goes with a soft nod. Two omega's taking care of their alphas.

Jungkook’s delicate with Tae’s head, gentle in the way he cradles the bruising, half hidden by her hair. Washing out the conditioner with a quiet hum. Namjoon had diagnosed her with a concussion pretty quickly, it's not a crack in her skull plate but she's not going to go putting her hair up in a bun any time soon.

Jungkook alternates from you to Tae. One moment you're standing, the next Jungkook is taking you up gently from the floor and Yoongi is at the glass, hand on the door- looking at you anxiously. Letting out a volley of cursing. You can't remember the last time you heard him use language like that.

"Hyung she's fine- she's just slippery, I've got her."

Their voices are so soft and grave and so quiet. Or is it just that you can’t hear it? Why are their voices so far away and muffled? Sometimes Yoongi is here and sometimes he isn't. Sometimes Jungkook is holding you, talking to Namjoon about something, and other times he and Yoongi are talking. Keeping their voices low. Your ears ring. It's so loud it deafening.

“Do you need me to take over?” Yoongi asks Jungkook. Jungkook has blood on his feet, from you or Tae you’re not sure, it soaks the hair there. Jungkook’s got hairy fucking feet for an omega- you’re not sure why you’re concentrating on it. Why you’re noticing all these things now. Cataloging little things about them like you might never get the chance to notice them again.

Your heart beats quick, fear still consuming you even though the danger has passed. You look down at the tiled floor and the room spins.

You don’t feel a thing when you close your eyes. You don’t feel anything when you think of the man that you just killed. You don’t feel anything but roaring, like the crashing of the ocean or the sound when you lift your ear to a shell. The hearing in your left ear where the gun went off feels…off, muffled. You put your hand up to toy with it and freeze when you realize it isn't right.

"Guys" You paw at your ear. But they don't seem to hear you.

"No, I've got them.”

“We need to clean up the downstairs. Kookie, where do you keep the oxyclean?”

"Guys"

They still don't hear you. Maybe you're not making a sound at all just mouthing the words. Your movement gets Tae's attention and her eyes focus for the first time in hours. Slumped on the bench, her hand grips the tiled edge hard as she tries to stand but can't. Jungkook hands Yoongi something through the steam, the black trash bag full of bloody clothes.

The notice Tae trying to get to you first. she hits the floor with a small thud and tugs her way over to you. You make a noise in your throat- a distressed chirp that makes the alphas flinch. Tae cups your cheek as you dig your finger in, slippery from the plastic- and pull something small and fleshy out of your ear.

It's soft and squishy. A curved piece of pink and white brain matter. A little bloody but bleached from the water.

You try to stand to your feet but teeter, shaking, staring down at the chunk of person that you just got out of you, that was just in you.

For a second, no one says anything, but then-

“That’s so fucking gnarly.” Your head jerks up in Jungkook’s direction.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Tae actually does look a little green, but it's good to hear her voice at the very least. She hauls herself over to the drain and starts to dry heave.

"Oh tae don't-" the sound of vomit hitting the floor joins the sound of the shower. You don't look at her. just at the lump of person in your hand.

"Someone please take it from me," Jimin is already there opening the glass door and holding out a cloth for you to place it in.

Yoongi presses his hands to the glass as he watches you struggle to grab the brush that Jungkook was using on you from the floor after finally getting your feet under you. Jungkook is torn, his hand on Tae's shoulder as she wretches turning from her to you like he doesn't know what to do or who to help first.

You don't care about the state of your hands you just need to get clean. You Ignore the twinge of pain in your hands as you try and get the bottle of body wash open. Ripping off the plastic bags that cover your hands when you can't unclick the cap immediately. frustrated and panicking. You ignore Jimin calling your name. The gauze falls to the floor with a wet thwack and you take the boar bristle brush to your hands. Cuts and all.

Big hands stop you. Hands that dwarf yours. Hands that you'd know blind.

Yoongi's standing under the spray fully clothed, the water pinning down his hair and quickly soaking him. His hands tangling with yours, taking the brush from you. Wordless as he grabs your wrists and jerks you forward hard.

He holds on until you stop shaking. resting against his chest. guiding your face to his scent gland. "Take a deep breath for me now sweetheart- there you go- just like that."

Jungkook doesn't say anything and neither does Jimin, not as Yoongi starts to wash you again. Jungkook just stoops to lift Tae and place her back on the bench. She goes easy, limp, and doll-like. But she's almost done- she's almost clean. Tae pushes at Jungkook’s shoulders.

"I’m fine. I need to wait for the nausea to pass before I try getting out of here.”

With you, it's going to take a little longer.

Jungkook has already shampooed your hair, but he does it again. The telltale signs of rusty red in the peach-scented shampoo. Bubbling orange-pink. Yoongi does it slower, gentler- it feels more normal. Like the slow loving you're used to.

“Do you ever feel like-” your voice is a little crackly from all the screaming you did earlier. You hate how the terror makes you not remember all the details. Did you make any sound while you killed him? Did you say anything through the rage?

The others are looking at you but you have eyes for just Jimin. his hand tightens to fists, knuckles pressed against the glass. eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Do you ever not feel guilty? About killing people Minnie?”

You are nude, as bare as you’ve ever been before him, it's hard to be self-conscious about it. Maybe this would be a little sexier- showering with Tae and Jungkook and Yoongi with an audience if you weren't literally trying to cover up a very violent murder.

You remember the words Jimin had said to you weeks ago now. “Would you kill for me?” “I’d do worse” you wonder if this qualifies as worse. You can’t imagine what would be much worse than this.

Jungkook's hands are rough as they massage a bit of soap down your back but instead of being comforting, it feels like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin.

Jimin hums. Eyeing Tae still sprawled on the built-in bench. Jimin gathers his thoughts before he speaks. “In my contract, at the beginning-” He starts but cuts off as you start to slip. Jungkook's hands find you, helping Yoongi hold you up more properly. Your mate doesn't let Jungkook take you entirely just moves a bit to the side to give him space. Any other day you'd love to be in the middle of a yoonkook sandwich but-

“Your contract?” he nods, blond hair bobbing. Yoongi meticulously removes the dried blood from under your fingernails, careful to hold your glue sutures out of the direct spray.

“I specified that I’d only ever kill bad people. of course I got a little lazier after I got used to it." He shoots an anxious glance in Tae's direction, but she's still just sitting. "But at the beginning, I’d go back and look through their files to try to find out what they’d done to warrant a hit getting taken out on them. I couldn’t always find a reason but most of the time I did."

You can see it in his face, that Jimin doesn't want to say that they deserved it. Because if they deserved a violent ending then you could say the same about the 8 of you. Jungkook's hands get a little close to the nape of your neck and you turn to him and snap.

"Don't scruff me."

"Sorry." You need it. Is what he doesn't say.

“Most of the time it was worth it?” You cling to his words. With Geumjae you’d never had to guess if he deserved it or not but this-

Jimin’s eyebrows are brought into a hard line, “Karma is a fickle thing. Sometimes it never comes but-” his eyes are downcast, "Sometimes it's a good thing, being the karma."

You sit quietly, digesting his words. Your lower lip trembles, and you don’t know if you feel terrible or better when the tears just won’t come. Yoongi delicately cradles your body, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and pulling you back against his chest.

“Yoongi.”

“Let me hold you for a minute.” You do, body sagging under the weight of your exhaustion.

Tae teeters in Jungkook’s hold, but she pushes against his hands weakly when he tries to make her stand again. Her voice sounds warbly and fragile when she shakes her head. “I’m still dizzy.”

He tries to guide her gently back to the bench, but she doesn't make it that far. Pushing away his hands when she descends to the marble floor. Closer to the wall, Closer to Minnie who mirrors her, falling to the floor too. Getting as closer to her as he can without being in the shower.

Jimin lets out a sad and bitter-sounding laugh and Tae smiles in reply while Jungkook and Yoongi share an anxious glance over your head.

He's still grinning, words twisting, eyes shining with sorrow and fondness. “You couldn’t wait 24 hours until you had to make it even, didn’t you?”

Tae closes her eyes as her smile twists and she starts to cry “Where you go, I go. We’re the same now Minnie.” Jimin doesn't mean to ask what she means. He knows.

If you're a killer I'm a killer. If you're damned, I'm damned. Even though neither of them believes in God or heaven or damnation. Not really. Not anymore. It's very half-hearted.

(I don't know if it's worth wondering if the people you love are bad people, I think when worse comes to worse, you just put the heaviness down and keep on loving them anyway).

Jimin’s eyes are soft on her, the way that they only ever are with Tae. He places his hand on the glass fogging around his fingertips. She doesn’t match his hands, just leans her cheek against it. Love is only a thin layer of glass away.

You know it hurts her a little bit, must make the dysphoria a little harder to breathe through, to let Jimin and Jungkook see her like this; just the long hair and nothing delicate to cloth her soul in. A soul that now you’ve irreparably tarnished.

A soul that is damaged beyond repair now thanks to you.

It is your fault. All of this is because of you. all of this pain and anguish and damage is because of the choices you've made. the stupid idiotic childish choices. If you'd never needed it- if you'd just been strong enough- Tae could have been whole. Tae could have been unharmed. Hobi and Jin too- if you’d just-

Back at the hospital, Tae had so many questions about Jimin’s job, so many questions about when and where, and why. But she finds her head empty of them in the aftermath. She has no desire to learn anything else about Jimin’s job. Not now that she knows what killing feels like.

Tae is never going to be able to look at red nail polish the same way again.

Jungkook reaches over and turns off the water.

~-~

Eventually, you finish washing. Wrapped up in fluffy white towels that will have to be burned too. The house smells like bleach and gunpowder. It covers everything.

Even the noodle is looking a little more grubby than usual when he zips by, meowing for someone to give him attention. You hear the saw going and you know that Yoongi is cutting the bullet holes out of the walls while the others clean up the blood.

Your skin feels pink and sensitive were the towel brushes as you go looking for pajamas, you'll get some for the others too. Later, Jin will fuss and ask to put some cream on you. Will massage it in something of an apology and pretend that Yoongi isn't going over the whole house with a blacklight to spot any errant blood splatters.

Later Yoongi will take a wood scraper to the floorboards where the man died, will rip them up, and burn them in the house's ancient fireplace just to be sure that no one finds any evidence.

You'll all pretend that Tae doesn't shake through a panic attack when you have an informal dinner in the nest. jin's rule of "no food in the nest" broken for this. You'll all pretend that Hoseok won't choke choking on all but the smallest sips of water. You'll all pretend. You're good pretenders, good liars too.

Later, Jin will put cream on your skin and dot it all with kisses, the swelling in his hands won't take too long to go down. You'll get the love and You won’t deserve a single second of it.

You don't know how you fooled yourself into thinking you ever deserved it. The last 8 months have been stolen. Not earned.

The one-year anniversary of Geumjae's death comes and passes as you go to the top of the stairs in your towel, Ears straining to hear what's going on downstairs.

There is a lot of talking going on downstairs, between Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jin. About what to do, and how to handle this. Hushed voices kept mostly out of earshot. And other more dangerous questions get asked, with equally as dangerous answers.

One of Jimin's guns sits on the kitchen counter through all of it. No one moves to put it away. They're not sure when they're next going to need it and they'd rather not get caught off guard again.

“I could talk to some people- call them. Some people owe me favors, There has to be some section of the family that doesn’t want her too-“

"Absolutely Not, I am not having you get into some weird ass mafia debt"

"Yeah, jailcell orange is so not your color hyung"

“We stay quiet. For the next 48 hours- it’s likely no one will know what happened. They’re too hurt- we need some time to regroup and think.”

Hobi’s voice is absent from the fray. You hear something quite like he's trying to speak, and someone shushing him softly. Namjoon says that his swelling won’t go down enough to talk until tomorrow. You hear the sound of someone opening the refrigerator to get ice.

The door to the bedroom has been blown apart, and a flurry of bullet holes chewed through the top corner. It sits off its hinges and in two pieces.

You remember watching Yoongi paint the door, sitting at the bottom of the stairs while he worked at the top of it and painted it to match the wallpaper in the staircase, a dark cobalt blue. You remember all of it, every little thing you watched him do to make this house into something worthwhile. To make it into a home and now it's riddled with bullet holes and stained with blood.

It's funny, you hardly remember every little thing he did for you, to make you worthwhile.

You have always been a reminder that you don't make houses out of abandoned buildings, and mates out of monsters that bite.

The water has turned the cuts on your hands white and gummy when you look down at them in the closet room. They’re already oozing, not bleeding, it will be at least a day or two until you can touch anything without discomfort. Namjoon will scold you ever so gently later and re-do your bandages.

The pink curtains are drawn already to keep out any wandering eyes from the outside. This is a dressing room after all. The whole room feels like a blush-toned jewel box and you, the one piece of cheap costume jewelry at the center.

You get up and shut the door before you sit on a small poof- something silky and tufted that Jimin had gotten Tae right after she'd come out.

You sit in your towel and look down at your wounds. Thinking about Tae's concussion. Jin's wrists. Hobi's throat. Both of their blank looks and the violence of death and trying to live. You think it all through, every possible ending to this before you pick up your phone and dial Her number.

Moonbyul picks up on the first ring. It’s like she’s been waiting for your call.

“Did you like your courting present pup?”

Your throat is dry and you don’t know exactly what to say, even less how to say it. She hums at your silence, an alpha's imitation of a purr. Waiting until your quietness builds to a frantic pulse.

In the pack, you've always been the one with the best survival instincts. Geumjae made you this way. Although the pack has spent the last few months trying to heal you; deep down you know you've never been anything more than a scared animal. Fight or Flight. Freeze or fawn.

Bullet to bullet. Tooth to tooth. Heartbeat to heartbeat. This time is different. This time you have something worth protecting.

You stand, no longer able to sit. There is a noise at the door, and you wait with bated breath for someone to come in. They don't come. But you stand and move farther inside. Hoping that the distance will disguise the sound of your whispered conversation.

She continues when it becomes clear you're struggling to speak. “I’ve got another one on the way. Hyejin’s here, wanna say hello? You’re on speaker.”

“Pup,” she giggles, and you feel like you might vomit. It’s a struggle really, not to end the call right there, not to let the fear overtake you. “We haven’t heard back from Spider yet, and I have a feeling someone’s been a little naughty.”

You lift the curtain to look outside, the train chugs past and the cars flit by like the fast small birds searching for seed in the snow. The whole world is grey and flat. The sky is orange from the lights of the city reflecting the clouds. The trees bare of all but a few crumbly leaves. It’s strange how all at once, the train is all you can look at. All you can think about.

You think about hoseok, the night at the train tracks where he stopped you from leaving. When he asked you to stay.

“Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to do to get you to stop this, please.” Your voice sounds off, even for you. Too flat, strange even to your ears.

“I’m afraid we’re too far along for that.”

"Please, please Moonbyul-" You turn, pacing back towards the door. Past Tae’s clothes, past yours, past Jungkook’s, past the alcove where Hobi hangs his sweatshirts for you. You pause there. Looking at them.

“You said- you said when it was over you’d give me anything I wanted. Well I want them alive. Even if-"

Your voice is so shaky, you're careful to make sure you're not overheard. The pack is in the other room, just downstairs. You can hear the distant hum of their sweet voices; the people you love always sound like a melody. Your absence hasn’t been noticed yet.

"Even if I’m not here.”

For once they’re silent on the other end of the line. It’s a full silence, filled with one part lust and one part hunger. Both of them are like Noodle playing with a mouse. Waiting for the right time to drive their teeth in and end this game.

But even mice have teeth. Your hand is holding your phone so hard that the plastic makes your bones ache and your cuts bleed fresh.

“If you don’t let them live, I'll never stop fighting. But if you want me to be willing- If you want me to be your pup the way I think you do."

You can’t even close your hand into a fist with how wrecked your hands are. They hurt with every clumsy movement. you hold the phone. Your every heartbeat lurching with the horror of what you're doing.

I can’t lose them; I can’t be the reason why they die. They'll keep sending people until we're all dead unless I do something.

“All of them, all of them need to be safe, Jimin- you need to let him go of his contract and let him go back to living a normal life and you need to not punish Jin for working for the FBI.” Your words rush over themselves. "Leave my pack alone and I’ll be obedient. I'll be yours. I’ll never try and go back to them again. I won’t ever try and leave. I promise.”

Moonbyul and Hyejin are silent on the other end of the phone. You wait for a few moments. They must be looking at each other, deliberating.

Everything in this room aches. The closet bedroom that Yoongi made he made for you. The wainscotting just so. Everything in this house was crafted with an equal amount of love.

It was never meant to be yours forever, you’ve been keenly aware of this fact since the moment you met Yoongi. Since the moment you met his eyes across the dining room table and the moment his teeth met your skin. Borrowed things don't belong, they never do. Good things do not last. You only get them for as long as you get them and not a moment longer.

You're looking at Hobi's sweatshirts, in the alcove where he stacks them for you to take when Moonbyul and Hyejin respond.

“We'll agree to those terms, but remember their safety depends on your performance."

"You have 24 hours to get to us pup. Make them count.”

The dial tone drones like a funeral drum.

~-~

(Hoseok, a few years prior)

The backroom at the record shop is cramped with all sorts of things from a bygone era;

A mini fridge with a decrepit desktop computer and logbook balanced atop it. Pictures and bulletins glued to the wall from the 1960's. A greasy coffee machine piled high with bags of expired tea. A cramped spot for employees to hang their coats and a yellowing old table with a pair of chairs; both occupied by people also out of place. a beta that has a thing for 1980's rap and an alpha with a broken heart who admittedly loves 2010's pop.

A poster of some glittery showgirl omega from the 20s bats her eyelashes down at Hoseok as he has a mental breakdown. Offering neither comfort nor absolution nor love.

Maybe if he'd been born an omega like that, it would have been easier. Maybe they'd have wanted him then.

Yoongi's hands rub down Hoseok's shoulder, his back, places only lovers have touched. Up and down. An endless circle. An ouroboros of affection nibbling Hoseok's fickle heart. Hoseok aches harder with every passing moment.

Yoongi looks at the clock as Hoseok continues to sob. The shop should be open right now but Yoongi won't let it. It can go out of business for all he cares. As long as no one makes Hoseok get up from this chair before he's ready.

Beta instincts are fickle things, but Yoongi has always had a third sense. Something in him always knows if people are trustworthy and if they need him. Something in their scents or faces or eyes- like small planets reflecting the cosmos back to them. Do planets bear life only when someone is willing to look for them? Do people only deserve help when they're willing to ask for it? or is it like this?

Eventually, Hoseok gets his breath back in his chest and his sobs quiet down. His eyes open bloodshot. All sadness has an expiration date (thankfully). Yoongi's hand slides down his arm and gives his hand a firm squeeze (and stays there).

It's the first time someone's touched Hoseok without wanting something in God knows how long but he's too sad to properly appreciate it or savor it. (Yoongi doesn't want anything from him that Hoseok wouldn't willingly give. Doesn't want anything but his smile. fuck- he's just a co-worker, isn't he?). Who knows when the next touch like this might come? (Yoongi is going to hold his hand tomorrow because Yoongi likes holding people's hands, Jin will give him the tacit permission to do that at least. But all of the pack are keenly aware that Hoseok needs time to heal, no matter how obvious Yoongi's crush and Hoseok's needs).

(Hoseok is definitely not just Yoongi's coe-worker at this point, but saviors come from all sorts of unlikely places)

Eventually Hoseok's sobs quiet and Yoongi sighs, pulling back. He takes one look at hoseok's red nose and pale cheeks and puffs up. "I'm making your hot chocolate and you're going to tell me what's happened."

He gets up like he needs something to do. Like he's tired of taking care of Hoseok. He doesn't take it personally, he's tired of it too.

“My mates they- they kicked me out of our den,” Hoseok confesses. Yoongi's got two mugs in his hands, they thud against the counter when he reaches into one of the cabinets.

It’s warm in here but Hoseok is still thankful for the sweatshirt the beta gave him. Not only for its warmth but for the layer of scent it provides; It’s soaked with the smell of chocolate. So comforting and heavenly that it makes Hoseok a little dizzy when he tucks his nose into it and takes a hefty sniff when Yoongi's got his back turned.

Hoseok was never given the other pack's items, never allowed or encouraged to indulge in their scents. They never asked for his either.

Yoongi hangs both their jackets above the radiator in the back so that they’ll dry faster. He bears an impressive bite mark on his arm, visible because of his short-sleeved shirt. It's bruised just ever so slightly- an alpha bite but not a mating bite because betas don't mate. A mark like that on him is as good a claim as any. Even with the other scents that cling to the sweatshirt.

Hoseok hasn’t known him long, but they’re friends even if they’ve never met up outside of work. You can't not be friends with someone you spend upwards of 30 hours a week with.

Yoongi just hums. "Have you been with them long?"

Hoseok appreciates that Yoongi doesn't use the past tense, his heart too tender around the idea of endings. Some part of him is unconvinced that it really is over. A stubborn heart for a stubborn alpha.

His hair is starting to dry when he nods. "It's been a few years." Hoseok bites his lip, "I could lie and say I didn't see signs but-" his hands end up in his hair, elbows leaning against the creaking yellow table. Tugging a little. "I'm so fucking stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid," Yoongi says, hand on the back of his head. warm rough fingers. Touching him ever so briefly as he passes to put the milk back in the mini-fridge. "It's not stupid to want to find more love where you got it."

But in truth, There's not much more than Yoongi can say. Not much more that he knows to say. He'd never met Hoseok's pack. Whereas Namjoon and Jimin and the pups have a general tendency to linger around Yoongi person at all hours and locations. Stopping by to drop off coffee or just to make funny faces at him through the window when they're on their way to work. Yoongi has never met his co-worker's pack and has never seen much evidence at all on him beyond some vague hints of scents.

That alone is enough of a hint; usually, when people have packmates they're soaked in their scents. Visceral claims to keep any wandering eyes wandering still. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wondered why Hoseok didn't wear his packmate's scents.

It’s not like the alpha smells bad at all- a little strong sure, but less genetically dominant alphas tend to smell a little sweeter like omegas.

At least that’s what Namjoon says when he feels like info dumping. Late at night when the pack asleep around them and only Yoongi's stayed up to listen. Because Yoongi likes the sound of Namjoon's voice when he gets into the details. Stroking across Namjoon’s bare chest just to feel the alpha's words rumble against his fingertips. His heartbeat against his ear the backtrack for all of it.

Whoever Yoongi’s pack is; they surely love him a lot. That much has been evident since the second that Hoseok met him. Evident in the packed bento boxes and the bunny-eyed omega that walks with him to work sometimes. Or in the tall omega and alpha pair that Hoseok has seen perusing the shelves when he comes in to relieve Yoongi of his shift.

Hoseok has worked here for 6 months. It’s impossible not to collect these details. The hickeys on his throat that he wears after weekends, how ruffled but generally loved Yoongi looks when he comes back from rut and heat leave.

“Is there a reason why they left?” Yoongi tries to be as undiscerning as possible. Voice gentle and measured. Stirring the hot cocoa and putting it in front of Hoseok.

Hoseok takes a sip and it feels like he's drinking a cup of the beta in front of him. Yoongi melts a little into the chair at the happy noise Hoseok makes.

It's good. Really good actually, Yoongi uses twice as much Swiss mix as the package instructs and a tablespoon of honey to boot. More chocolate can never be a bad thing.

Before Hoseok has a chance to respond, The phone next to the cabinet rings. And Yoongi takes it off the stand and hangs it up again in quick secession so that it doesn’t ring anymore. It has to be important but he ignores it for Hoseok's sake. Yoongi does a lot of ordering for the shop, the rare records that their boss is always trying to source and sell. It's a lot of chasing down leads and curators.

(This is not true. This is a lie that Yoongi and his boss have fed him. This phone is set up for the family's use. Hoseok doesn’t know that most of the calls Yoongi answers are more delicate than just simple stock orders.)

“I just found out that my brother has stolen from me, what should his punishment be beta?”

“How much did he steal?”

“300k”

Yoongi swallows, fighting his narrow margin of benevolence. The drops of mercy that he's allowed to show without suspicion. He tells himself that the other beta would order a far worse. People only call him when they want lighter punishment.

“A finger for every 100 then.”

The people who call ask him all manner of things. Things like “I think my child might be planning on going to the police, what should I do before anyone finds out about it?” He is both a secret keeper and a jury.

“Send them away. Out of sight and out of mind of anything that they might be able to share. I hear the military academies are lovely this year. So much snow. Yes, they take omega recruits.”

“My firstborn child presented as an omega instead of an alpha. They're my firstborn and heir, how should I proceed?”

“I can ask around for an advantageous match but I’m sorry, there is no fixing presentation.”

Hoseok hasn’t seen a phone like that in years. Didn’t even know they made old-fashioned ones like that anymore. Ones with a dial, the blue plastic worn from the number of times Yoongi's had to pick it up. It doesn't stay silent for long, ringing soon after yoongi's hung it up.

“I'm the only- they’re an all-omega group.” As if by the mention of his sub gender Hoseok’s angry burning sugar scent fills the room. In reply, Yoongi’s sweetness rises. Hoseok takes another sip and pretends it's just the hot chocolate warming his cheeks. “I guess they wanted to keep it that way.”

"I've got two omegas and they keep me on my toes, I can't imagine four." That gets a laugh out of Hoseok.

"You've got a bunch of alphas in yours though, right?" A bunch already, I wouldn't be needed. Hoseok has seen them, the tall one with dimples that looks like something out of a soap opera. The scary-looking one with the chubby cheeks who's always holding hands with the pretty academic one who likes the jazz in the corner.

Yoongi nods, "That must be nice," Hoseok's eyelashes are all clumped together from the tears. "Having so many people to take care of you."

Yoongi hums, knuckles brushing Hoseok’s hand on the table. It’s just one tender touch but Hoseok starts to break. To crumple.

Yoongi senses Hoseok breaking, pulling him in close before he has a chance to really fracture (he comes just in time, Yoongi loves Hoseok just in time). Yoongi’s scent alone is enough to soothe him- beyond the way he guides the alpha to rest against his throat. Hoseok fights it only a little, what's a little scenting among friends?

They're not just friends, it's not just scenting.

Hoseok wants to bury his nose in the beta’s throat, but that wouldn’t be appropriate, not with the scent of so many others clinging to him. He still sags into the hug. Turns his face away to avoid the temptation.

“They didn’t even tell me- and now the lease on the apartment is up and I can’t afford it on my own and-“ I’m so scared and I just wish there was someone to take care of me. I wish I was a pup again.

They sit like that at the table and Yoongi just lets him cry, He pulls back after his sobbing has cooled. They hug until they both smell like gooey chocolate chip cookies with too much brown sugar.

Hoseok sniffles, “We have to open up the shop,” Yoongi's arms tighten around Hoseok's shoulders in reply.

“It can wait a few more seconds.” Hoseok wants to say that the owner wouldn’t like that but he doesn’t.

Yoongi sips and hesitates. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” Hoseok pauses for a second, flushing before he shakes his head. “Okay, it's okay. You can say with me.”

“Are- are you sure they won't mind?” But Yoongi is already typing away on his phone, shooting a quick text to the pack group chat (a chat that Hoseok will be added to in exactly 23 days, but who's counting?)

“Not at all. It’s a bit cramped with all of us but we have a spare bed in the closet room that Tae likes to read on sometimes- Jungkook's boss slept there last night after they came back from drinking and Namjoon was so mad- he won't be mad about you though- it's just that Jungkook- he just really shouldn't be drinking."

"Is he underaged?"

"No, he's just got health issues."

"Oh." Yet another person who gets the love he needs, the care he needs. Hoseok tries and fails miserably not to be jealous over Yoongi's omega whom he's never met.

He won't be jealous for long. Later Jungkook is going to challenge him to an arm wrestle just to prove he doesn't need babying. Beating alphas in feats of strength is his favorite thing. He'll feel Hoseok’s hand in his and get completely distracted. "Wow, you've got like- really pretty hands!" and drag them close to his to compare sizes. He'll be smitten nearly instantly with Jungkook- for what it's worth. The jealousy only lasts for a few hours.

Within a few seconds his phone is ringing off the hook, he shows Hoseok the chorus of, “Yes it’s okay!” and “Poor thing, tell him he can stay as long as he wants.” "Of course hyung!" "Does Hoseok like kimchi-jjigae or should we just order pizza?" “Oh! Can we get some with pineapple?” “Gross Jk.” "Yeah we all know Minnie doesn't like the aftertaste of burnt fruit."

And Hoseok can't help but feel like he doesn’t deserve this kindness and such an effortless acceptance. There is a knock at the front door before he can say anything. A few short taps against the glass. Yoongi tells Hoseok to stay put while he goes to deal with a pushy customer who wants in. Leaving him alone in the backroom with his cooling hot coco and the poster still staring down at him.

(They say two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, but that's not the only way a secret stays buried; the best secrets are the ones you’re not even aware of.

Out of all the people in your pack. Hoseok is the only one in possession of a secret like this. The best kinds of secrets are the ones you don't even know are secrets see- he doesn't even know that this memory is enough to save you. Hoseok is entirely unaware that in his mind lies this memory.

Hoseok was the first person to get on the no-kill list, and it wasn’t because of Yoongi.

All packmates of a Don get put on the list;

no matter if they're active or past.)

Sitting at that yellowing wood table; Hoseok feels more settled now that he knows he has a place to sleep tonight that isn’t this backroom. Pulling the sleeve of Yoongi’s sweatshirt over his palms and sniffing at the collar where it was pushed up against Yoongi’s scent gland.

If he thinks hard, he can pick out a few scents here and there soaking the fabric. (Milky Omega Jin, Honey Sweet Puppy Jungkookie, Cinnamon sweet Alpha Tae and vanil-lalalala Jimin, Coffee Alpha Namjoon and Chocolate Yoongi).

It's so different from his ex-pack's scents. Their sugary sweet omega peppermint and sharp lemony evergreen, winter berry and pine, the cold smart of snow against his nose. His burning caramel scent- so off-putting. The one scent not Christmas-themed. The one that didn’t fit.

By comparison- Yoongi's pack smells like a bakery in summer. Every scent that could be added to a cake maybe (one day, in the kitchen, he’ll eat your tiramisu and realize yes- that’s exactly what it’s missing. Your cakey scent makes them all complete, the warmth of baking things).

He has somewhere to go now. Somewhere to be. Someone to trust. He trusts Yoongi- even if they’ve only known each other for a handful of short months.

And Yoongi’s pack can’t be worse than his last one.

As if in reply to Yoongi’s phone (buzzing with more texts that he doesn't check because Hoseok is nothing if not respectful of people's digital privacy. If he checked he would see "Is that the hot coworker you're always talking about? The one who always looks a little sad?")

Hoseok’s phone buzzes with the notification he's been waiting for.

Pack Omega 🌙 calling.

Pick up? Decline?

Hoseok hasn't yet gotten around to changing her contact information. He scrambles at it, spilling the hot cocoa across the table as he rushes to pick it up. Scrambling to get to it before it goes to voice mail. Blood pounding in his ears.

Hoseok’s voice is broken as he says his pack omega’s name, his old pack omega’s name.

“Byulyi- Moonbyul please-”

Moonbyul is cold on the other side of the phone. Maybe she’d have liked him more, and wouldn’t have given up on him if he didn't beg. But Hoseok has never been above begging. Not for love. Not for the thing he wants and needs the most. Hoseok needs love more than air and as Yoongi said- it's easiest to go looking for love where you once got it.

Even when you know it could hurt you.

Her voice is flat and unaffected. “I just wanted to make sure you found a place to stay tonight. Are you still going to be around to give the landlord the keys?”

Hoseok finds himself nodding even though he knows she can’t see him. “Yes- I can do that, I can do anything you want. Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Moonbyul please-”

“Goodbye Hoseok.” She says, hanging up after a second. Hoseok looks at the phone. Pushing the button to redial. It doesn't go. She’s already blocked him.

It will be a long time until Hoseok hears from his last pack again, a long long time until he says their names again. He will remember the way he’d begged, the way her name had sounded smack dab in the middle of it. And hate hate Hate how it makes him feel. He won't ever say their names, regret and self-disgust getting in the way.

It's a little funny, thinking of how different things might have gotten if he'd just told yoongi their names. If he hadn't let his alpha pride get in the way. A few days from now they'll talk about it together. "I don't like the way saying their names makes me feel- it feels- I hate how much I want to say it- to see them again- saying their names just reminds me of the power they had over me."

Never again, will Jung Hoseok beg for someone to give him the bare minimum. This is his lowest point. The moment where it shifts- for good.

His head is in his hands when Yoongi comes back into the room. Still sniffling, crying yet again. Yoongi sets a palm in his hair, ruffling it. Eyeing the spilled hot cocoa with a raised eyebrow.

“If you wanted coffee you could have just said so-“ he makes an attempt at levity and is rewarded with Hoseok’s small snort. Wiping his wet cheeks. Neither of them is aware of the secret. Neither of them is aware and so much worse off for it."

Hoseok grins, “Are you buying hyung?”

~-~

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~-~

Notes:

in the story there has always been this question- mainly raised by jimin during his secret chapters- if the m/c is actually in love with them or if she's just manipulating them- at the beginning of this chapter- we actually see jimin finally dispel the last bit of him that thinks even a little bit that this is the case. once he sees how much she put her body on the line- that question isn't even in the back of his mind- even a little. i ended up re-editing this part alot because of it.

every time i write something from jimin's pov i'm always like "why is everything so meandering? why are things disjointed?" and then i remember that's literally jimin's character- that he is in a lot of ways an unreliable narrator.

(TW) i have this idea in my head that namjoon DOES NOT become a good person in the event that all of them die like- a whole separate idea of him becoming a doctor for the family through yoongi's connections with the soul purpose of one day killing moonbyul and her entire pack…including their pups on accident which ends up destroying the last bit of namjoon's innocence as a person…and he ends up becoming one of the families assassins alongside jimin as a result, in this event jungkook does not stay with them and instead moves on and yoongi stays and tries to get them to stop only to ask them to kill him as their last kill because he's unable to cope with the loss of jin, hobi, the m/c and tae. BUT ANYWAY I DIGRESS THAT IS NOT THIS STORY.

i think in this story there is this really interesting dynamic of femininity and death and morality- that being said red nail polish is definitely a metaphor for whose comfortable killing and who isn't. i like the contrast between tae who will never wear red nails again- vs the moon pack who all are not allowed out of the nest if their nailpolish isn't perfect like- thats another layer of the fucked up shit.

are you suprised that the m/c is going to leave? Did you see it coming from a mile away? i mean...it is in the title of the series 😈

….the parallel between hobi losing his voice and the m/c not having a voice at the beginning of the series- you can project whatever meaning you want onto that <3

also on that subject the line "Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival." it's worth mentioning that thats not what i think is the most necessary thing to their survival but it is their own interpretation of what keeps them alive. like i for one actually think that the m/c is a lot more pragmatic than anyone gives her credit for but i digress. i could go on about all of their strenghts.

what did you guys think about hobi's secret reveal???? a fair amount of people have guessed it and i think when someone got it at the beginning of the series i lied and said it wasn't- i'm allowed to be an unreliable narrator too!!! kudos to everyone who got it! i feel like it could have been revealed better and originally the big one off was slated for next chapter but i decided to shift it to this one (mostly because i think the next chapter is about to get up there in terms of word count tbh 😭) but T-T its done now! please give me praise because i'm baby and this week has honestly been really hard

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Chubtober Day 22!

Apparently I’m going rogue now and not following prompts again 😅 I didn’t have much time to write this weekend due to traveling so today’s post is an idea from my drafts.

⚠️ I just want to give a trigger warnings that this idea has some pretty heavy topics. There is discussion of grief related to a parent’s death, trauma related to an accident, injury recovery, and a variety of mental health issues with coping mechanisms related to food and physical activity. Please use your discretion and skip this post if you need to!

—-

Character & Relationship Breakdown

Dance Professor Jimin/Writer Namjoon/Personal Trainer Jungkook

Artist Taehyung/Choreographer Hobi

Music Therapist Yoongi/Private Chef Jin

Taehyung and Namjoon are brothers

Jimin and Taehyung are childhood best friends

Plot Outline

Taehyung and Namjoon are in a car accident with their mother while Tae is driving who is not at all responsible - hit by a drunk driver. Their mother dies, but they are injured. Both are grieving and Tae feels incredibly guilty even though he shouldn’t.

Taehyung can’t face Namjoon due to the grief and unnecessary shame he feels and shuts himself away at home. Hobi is unsure of what to do beyond making sure his partner is comfortable, although Tae thankfully has very minor physical injuries.

Tae is spending most of his time watching his mom’s favorite kdramas and eating her favorite foods as a way to stay connected to her. He all but abandons his artwork, closing and locking the door to his studio with no interest of going back in.

Hobi quickly becomes an enabler because he can’t possibly address Tae’s weight gain considering the reason behind his binge eating. All he wants is for Tae to feel safe and loved as he recovers from so many different sources of emotional trauma and grief.

Hobi is unwavering support for Tae even if it isn’t always received. He would never question what Tae needs, never stopping him from eating or sitting around with his mom’s memories if it helps.

He is also in constant contact with Jimin, trying to lessen the younger’s emotional load knowing that Jimin is carrying a lot. Helping him gives Hobi comfort knowing that he can’t really help Tae right now.

Namjoon has a major leg injury that leaves him nearly immobile without help from his partners. Jimin and Jungkook are both strong enough to help him move around, but Namjoon has little interest in moving aside from bathing and sitting on their balcony. He spends most of his time reading books, looking through photos, and eating in whatever comfortable corner he asks to be left in.

Writing that used to be his perfect outlook felt like the hardest task in the world. Namjoon didn’t even bother to charge his laptop anymore knowing that he would never get a single sentence worth writing out of his head.

On top of his grief, Namjoon begins carrying a lot of guilt because he’s so observant. Jungkook can’t hide his emotions so Namjoon sees when Jimin comforts their partner who is near tears from not being able to help.

Namjoon sees the stress on Jimin’s shoulders because of Namjoon’s physical and mental state, Jungkook’s emotional state, and the fact that Jimin has basically temporarily lost his best friend with Taehyung and Namjoon’s sudden isolation and healing period.

Yoongi and Jin try to support them without hovering, understanding the fragile state all five are currently living in.

Yoongi sends messages of support and suggestions for healthy coping mechanisms that are rarely used. Jin drops off food regularly at both homes, sharing bolstering words and warm hugs with his friends to offer even a moment of relief.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi set up therapy, grief groups, anything they could think of with little participation or willingness from their partners. Tae and Namjoon continue the isolation and emotional eating, the only apparent source of comfort the brothers can seem to find.

Their partners allow the behavior to continue because they don’t know what else to do. Hobi can’t see Taehyung cry anymore, the only way Jungkook can help is by offering Namjoon food, and Jimin is simply emotionally drained.

Jungkook becomes the worst in terms of enabling. His whole being screaming to help, struggling to see his dear Namjoon so broken and his precious Jimin crumbling under the pressure.

He brings home treat after treat just trying to get Namjoon to crack the smallest of smiles. He takes up cooking almost all their meals so Jimin can have a break as his partner has been stress cleaning and handling all the things Namjoon usually handles like finances, errands, and bills on top of his already heavy emotional load.

And Jimin is just barely holding on. He is such an empathetic person that he breaks from the emotional load in small moments that constantly bounce around his mind.

Randomly hitting a wall in the middle of the day after yet another failed conversation about Namjoon calling Tae or going to a grief group leads Jimin to tell Jungkook that he needs to go for a run before he has a breakdown.

Jimin becomes so stressed that he starts losing weight as his partner and best friend are piling on the pounds. He starts running daily to escape the feeling of failing them, searching for constant control on the simple things like bills and chores so he feels like something is actually right and in order.

All Jungkook wants is to help, but he knows when he’s making it more difficult so he puts his energy into other things. Getting Namjoon anything and everything he could possibly want to eat, hitting the weights hard to always be strong enough to move Namjoon around the house, offering simply intimacies like long, tight embraces to help Jimin ground himself.

The more Namjoon watches his partners hold themselves together with tape and glue, the more he eats to fill the nauseous void of warmth in his body.

Jin notices the shift in all three of them during his short visits and starts to accommodate his deliveries. He makes larger portions for Namjoon considering his growing stature, includes heavier proteins for Jungkook seeing his increasing muscle mass, and prepares an entirely separate bag labeled for Jimin to keep it out of Namjoon’s grasp as he watches the younger run the weight off his already tiny frame.

However, there are things that slow Namjoon’s gain slightly in comparison to Taehyung’s.

Namjoon is genuinely trying to hold back sometimes out of guilt. He sees the worry in Jungkook’s eyes and hears Jimin’s calls with the physical therapist about his health.

Taehyung, on the other hand, knows if he’s not eating, he's going to spiral even deeper. It’s his one source of joy now aside from cuddling with his partner and since Hobi isnt stopping it, he'll eat himself sick most days.

Also, Hobi has to be out of the house for work and errands so Tae is left alone to eat whatever he can find while Namjoon always has someone home to contain some of his eating and food access.

Jimin had switched to teaching online courses only for the next year and Jungkook adjusted his schedule for regular clients only since Namjoon has caregiver-type needs. Plus, Jimin will occasionally put his foot down and make healthy meals or snacks when Namjoon has physical therapy or Jimin is having a particularly bad day.

Hobi, instead, leaves Taehyung a pile of snacks, hoping he doesn't clear the pantry while he’s at work. They just don’t have the ability to be home together all day like the others do.

Also, all three supportive partners are clearly active by nature, but Jungkook and Jimin are outwardly fitness-focused people which has some effect on Namjoon even subconsciously.

Tae has absolutely no issue choosing to be sedentary, finding his couch and bottomless snacks surrounded by memories of his mother the best place for him.

On top of Namjoon’s partner’s influence, he has physical pain working against him and sometimes, he just has move around or relocate to find comfort as well as doing his physical therapy exercises.

Jungkook and Jimin prepare extra servings of their own balanced meals, hoping the Namjoon will choose to eat with them which be often does out of guilt.

Tae is left with instant meals, anything Jin brings over, or delivery. He can’t cook at all, as if he even would find the energy to do it, and Hobi usually doesn't have time to make him anything significant.

So, Tae's diet becomes a daily intake of carbs and sweets. Especially because he has taken up a method of grief that directly affects his waistline - eating all of his mother’s favorite foods.

He will gladly order her favorite noodle dish and dumplings plus whatever desserts, snacks, and candies she loved, being his exclusive diet for the first few months.

Tae is fixated on his mom’s favorite food while Joon can’t even look at it. Tae is using the food to connect with her while Joon is using the food to avoid the memories of her.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi continue their attempts at getting their partners to attend therapy sessions or even simply talk to each other to no avail.

After nearly six months, Jimin finally goes to Yoongi and begs him in tears to help, knowing that he’s said no to offering therapy before because of conflict of interest, but he explains that all three are at the end of their emotional lines to help.

Yoongi agrees and meets one on one with each of his friends at their own homes, baked goods from Jin in tow. He has watched his friends deteriorate since the tragedy and knows it will be difficult.

After some visits, Yoongi convinces Tae and Namjoon both to leave their homes and come over to his house, telling them that it would help if he could sit them at his piano while they play together.

Tae shows up not knowing that Namjoon is mobile again, his leg injury finally healed well enough to get around himself. He tries but can’t hide the tears that fall after realizing he and his brother attempted to heal using the same method.

They had never spent so much time apart and certainly had never weighed as much as they do now.

Both feel slightly betrayed to know that Yoongi invited them at the same time, but they know it’s what is necessary to starting processing their grief that has spiraled for too long.

Confronted with their grief again and seeing each other for the first time since their mother’s funeral, the emotions are, as expected, high.

Yoongi talks them through some things while Jin mollifies them with baked goods. The sugar and neutral ground to talk helps them realize that both were harboring a lot of assumptions that were never quite true.

The visits continue with music and lots of high quality food as the brothers mend their relationship and process their grief.

He gets Taehyung back in front of his easel that had long gathered dust and encourages Namjoon to write short stories as a method of processing his emotions.

Yoongi listens to what they have to say and asks Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi if they are in therapy and if they would like to come over to some of these sessions.

Hobi and Jungkook jump on the opportunity immediately, wanting to see the progress with their partners and have the ability to share without hesitation of harming their progress.

Jimin finds the offer difficult, unsure of where he stands with Taehyung after months apart and terrified to implode everyone’s success with his own struggles.

Yoongi helps Jimin find a partner and caregiver based grief group, knowing the younger has an incredibly unique and deeply rooted emotional burden to process.

Hearing of Jimin’s honest admission, Taehyung and Namjoon regress into their former habits of seeking comfort and relief in food. Yoongi is able to help them all process the emotions together, but he is also honest about the fact that Tae and Namjoon may never entirely kick this hardened habit of covering up difficult emotions with a full stomach.

Even with the grief relapses and poor diet choices, all of them are so grateful to Yoongi and Jin for helping all of them start seeming like themselves again.

However, it also means that it’s time to address the fact that in a year since their mother’s death, there is at least 150 additional pounds between Taehyung and Namjoon that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon.

[jooyeone]

forget that episode of run that was just brainstorming new episode concepts, give us run bts: forbidden concepts. nothing but drinking games episode. two part tattooing episode; part 1 they learn tattooing + practice their new skills on honeydew melons, part 2 everyone designs a secret tattoo for their randomly selected member (to be tattooed by a professional, obvi); after the finished tattoo is revealed, the tattooee must guess who designed their new ink. "build a baking soda volcano" episode. episode where they shadow zookeepers; wear the inevitable khaki uniform, put together various animal diets (can be relatively tame or high ick-factor [veggie-heavy vs. bugs, whole raw fish, baby mice, etc.]), shovel poo, squeegee windows, maybe hold baby penguins... you get the gist. knitting episode; final knitted product rated for speed vs. accuracy. egg fight battle royal: they just pelt each other with eggs; some are raw, some are boiled, and some of the eggs are shall we say less than fresh. diy brewery long-term project. roller derby episode. blindfolded pedicures episode. printmaking episode but they only make counterfeit money. precision driving course episode (namjoon sits in the passenger's seat + does live running commentary). lifeguard training episode. making balloon animals episode. topiary shaping/pruning episode. "finally determine once and for all who holds their alcohol best (and worst) by administering a series of field sobriety tests while the members do shots and attempt to assemble flat packed furniture without the instruction booklet" episode.

[prints this] [writes ‘for your consideration’ on the back of the envelope] [slides it under the door of the run production team]

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Drunk Mafia BTS

Summary: your mafia boyfriend gets drunk and shows a different side to them.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, crack, alcohol consumption, mean!Namjoon, crying!Jungkook, mentions of sexual undertones, cute but annoying drunk Hoseok, mafia!au (but not really mentioned mafia), emotional Yoongi who needs readers love and reassurance, cute Jimin.

W.C.: 2.4k

Request: hi!! can you do a drunk bts mafia reaction?

Notes: Like I’ve said before, I love Mafia requests.

Jin:

You knew that you should not have left Jin alone with his brothers for thirty minutes.

You knew that leaving his side so you can go and talk to Jisoo about girl stuff, leaving Jin unattended with his brothers, especially the maknae when there is alcohol involved was a no-go. But you did it anyways, so now you are here – dealing with a flirty Jin who has one too many drinks in his system.

“You’re so pretty,” Seokjin cooed, body weight leaning into yours as you walked him to the car. “But!” He announced loudly, shocking you. “I haves a girlfriend, ACTUALLY! A fiancée. So, my compliments need to stop. I-It’s just that you look so much like her, that it is uncanny.” He rambled. “You even have the same, comfy, soft boobs! Are you her doppelganger?” Seokjin asked with a curious voice – a voice that does not suit his mafia boss persona.

Laughing at his question, “No, Jinnie, I’m Y/N. The actual her.” Mouth dropping wide in astonishment, “No way! Baby!” He yelled, flying into you, sending the both of you to the ground. But even in his drunken state, his reflexes still worked, and he turned you guys around to where he took the beating of the ground while you fell onto his chest. “Ooo, I like this position,” he said cheekily, smiling up at you.

“Of course, you do, you drunk.” You chuckled, “Now, get up. We need to get your drunk ass home.”

Yoongi:

The sound of breaking glass was what caught your attention from the book you were reading. Closing the book, you put it aside to see if the sound would repeat again, which it did. The breaking glass was coming from above you, which is where your boyfriend’s office was. Standing up, you quietly, but quickly, made your way up the stairs, slowly hearing the curses and angry words coming from your boyfriends’ mouth. Once you got to the office door, you quietly knocked on the door, silencing all of the commotion on the other side of the door.

The door opened, showing the distressed man in front of you. Trying to hide his tears, he turned around and made his way over to his desk, silently telling you that you can come in.

“Yoongi, what’s wrong?” You asked softly, walking up behind him, putting a few feet between you guys.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?” He replied, being short with you.

Spotting the bottle of whisky on his desk, you connected the dots that he is stressed since whisky is his escape drink.

“Well,” you started off, “There’s broken glass on the floor from you throwing it, whisky on the desk, and you’re obviously crying. So, something is wrong.”

“Wow, why would you ask me since you apparently know what’s going on.” He snapped, turning around to look at you, eyes blank.

Taking a few steps back, you coiled in on yourself by his harshness. Realizing that he wants you to leave him alone, you respected his wishes. “I’ll leave you alone then. I just wanted to check up on you.” You bowed, turning around and leaving.

Before you could walk out the door, you felt a soft grip on your arm, pulling you back.

“Please don’t leave.” Yoongi asked, voice raspy. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Not saying anything, you pulled your boyfriend into a hug. Your actions caused your boyfriend to breakdown, shocking you at the sight. The most dangerous man in the underworld, the one who scares the law itself, was falling apart in your arms for a reason you do not know.

Hoseok:

“And a BOOP!”

Trying to stay calm, you watched the finger – for the twentieth time – come in contact with your nose. Your eyebrow twitched from irritation. Surprisingly you were keeping your composure really well. You were not blowing up on your boyfriend yet.

But the thing that you do not get is how the man who can kill a person with a smile on his face, not even flinching, can act so childish and love messing with your nose whenever he is drunk.

It is like trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll.

“Your nose is so cute!” Hoseok squealed, face moving close to you, breaking your personal bubble boundary, “It has a little arch to it!” He added, a squeal evident in his tone.

That was a new one, you concluded.

“Can I run my finger over your nose?” He asked, voice innocent.

Releasing a sigh, a sigh that seemed to be very offensive that Hoseok took to heart. “Are you mad at me?” He sniffled, looking away to hide his face.

“No, Hobi.” You reassured softly, “I’m just getting a little irritated, but I am not mad at you, I promise.”

Sniffles growing louder, you realized that you messed up.

“I’M ANNOYING YOU?!”

Fuck.

Before you could say anything else, your body was met with the couch while your boyfriends body was thrown on top of yours. ‘I’m sorries’ were spewing out of his mouth rapidly, body shaking from the sobs racking over his body.

“Yes! You can run your finger over my nose.” You said, hoping it will calm him down.

As if a light switch was turned off, your boyfriend immediately stopped crying, a huge smile gracing his face. “Yay! Thank you!” His finger running over your nose, face morphed into a concentrated look.

Namjoon:

When you walked into your home, your sense of smell was met with alcohol – mainly whiskey and cigars.

“Oh no,” you whispered to yourself, preparing yourself for what was possibly going to happen.

Namjoon is drunk by now, and this only happens when he is overly stressed, or in need of an outlet for his anger. So, a drunk Namjoon equals an angry drunk Namjoon. You have only seen this side of him just once, and it was not pretty.

You did not speak to Namjoon for a week because of it.

He promised you he would not seek comfort from alcohol ever again – but he broke his promise.

Walking into the living room, you found your boyfriend sitting in the single sofa chair, the top three buttons of his dress shirt undone, showing the caramel skin of his chest. But his beautiful sight was ruined when you saw the whiskey bottle sitting on the side table with the cigar on the ash tray, and a glass of whiskey in his ring clad hand.

“I am surprised you have not started yelling yet,” Namjoon mocked, interrupting your train of thought. “Last time I drank, you freaked out on me.”

Taken aback by his words, “I didn’t freak out on you? Plus, I am not going to now. I am curious on why you are drinking, whiskey especially.”

“Oh, so am I not allowed to drink certain alcoholic drinks?” He asked, sarcasm and mockery laced in his words. “Wow, you’re more controlling than I thought.”

You could feel your heart break at his words, eyes stinging from the tears that are wanting to spill. “Wow. Um, okay.” You said, not knowing what words to use. You were beating yourself up mentally from how weak you are and your inability to stand up for yourself. So, choosing the cowardly way out, you turned around and made your way to the guess room that was in your house, locking the door and hiding yourself in there.

Jimin:

Sitting at the booth in the bar, you listened to your best friend Yoonji vent about her and Namjoon’s relationship.

Tonight, was club night with the boys.

Having a boyfriend who is a mafia boss that owns his own private club was awesome, especially during parties. Not having to pay and wait in line was awesome, drinks and food was free, and the best of all – sitting in the VIP section away from the drunk people.

“I just wish that he would make more time for me,” Yoonji stressed, eyes tearing up. “I feel so alone sometimes…” She trailed off, taking a gulp from his glass.

A frown was on your face, watching your friend cry was one of the worst things ever. Before you could add your opinion in, you felt a body that was all too familiar fall on top of you. A pair of lips attached theirs to yours, shocking you from the abruptness.

“My Love!” Your boyfriend announced, a drunken grin of his face, cheeks tinted red from the alcohol he has been drinking. “I have missed you so MUCH!” He stated, lips now turned downwards.

“I’ve missed you too, Jiminie.” You replied back, honesty laced in your words. “But, I’m talking with Yoonji here,” you motioned towards your friend, your boyfriends head whipping around quickly to look at her.

“Ooops! I’m sorry Yoonji!” He apologized truthfully, head turning back towards you. “Is it okay if I lay my head on your lap while you talk with Yoonji? My head hurts, and I PROMISE! I won’t speak of anything that you guys say to Namjoon!” He promised, sticking his pinky in the air towards you.

“Wait, what?” Yoonji asked in shock. “How do you know we are talking about Namjoon?”

“Cause silly! You just admitted to it,” Jimin giggled, already making himself comfortable on your lap. “Plus, the both of you came in upset, so it’s kinda obvious that you two are arguing.”

And that was the last thing your boyfriend said before he was lulled into a deep sleep.

Looking up at Yoonji, you gave her an apologetic smile. “Jimin’s extra blunt when he’s drunk?”

Taehyung:

As you conversed with your boyfriend’s gang members girlfriends, you could feel the heavy stare on your back from your boyfriend. You knew that you looked hot – thanks to the constant compliments and love that your boyfriend gives you everyday has helped with your self love. Wearing a sexy, but appropriate dress to the ball that was thrown by an ally mafia gang was a good idea because it was messing with your boyfriend. You knew the little things that riled up your boyfriend of three years – and this dress was one of them; especially when he had alcohol in his system.

“Um, Y/N?” Madison, Jungkook’s girlfriend of seven months spoke, catching your attention.  

“Hm?”

“Taehyung is I think glaring at you,” She said nervously.

Smiling at her innocence, “Oh, is he?” You asked, turning around to look at your boyfriend who just finished downing his glass of wine. When the two of you made eye contact you gave him a gentle smile and he winked at you. You could see that he has had a lot to drink due to the flush of his cheek and aura that he was giving off.

“He literally has been undressing you with his eyes all night.” Suri commented, bringing a blush to your cheeks from her bluntness.

“And you are right,” Taehyung admitted, surprising you from his sudden appearance. His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest, head ducking down to nuzzle into your neck. His breath smelt like alcohol and cigarettes as he pressed kisses to you neck. “You’ve looked so beautiful all night that I got turned on.”

“You’ve smoked a cigarette?!” You yelled, shocking the girls and Taehyung.

“What? No, baby—”

“Do not ‘baby’ me,” your voice came out deadly. “You told me you quit!” You accused, glaring at your boyfriend who looked scare, something that you will later laugh at since he is the biggest mafia boss in the world.

“I did. I just had two with Jackson and Namjoon!”

Not wanting to make a bigger scene, you walked away with a nervous and apologetic Taehyung.

“He’s totally not getting anything tonight,” Suri chuckled into his cup of wine.

“$20 he is,” Jisoo, Jimin’s friend had bet.

“You’re so on.”

Jungkook:

“Ugh, another fucking voicemail,” Jungkook grumbled drunkenly. “Y/N, this is my hundredth voicemail, when will you answer? Please answer. I’m sorry that I snapped and scared you. I know that I acted out irrationally during the argument. You’re right, I am childish and short tempered, but that doesn’t give me the excuse to say what I said and act how I acted. Wait? Did I say that right? hopefully because I want to make this right with you. I love you, Y/N, and I know that I have a suckish way of showing it, but I do. You’re the light in the darkness that I live in. never would I have thought of meeting you, meeting love in this Mafia world. I just want, need, you back, baby. Please come back to me,” Jungkook stopped, the sobs taking over him. The scary realization of losing you might be coming true. “Please give me one more chance to make this right.”

And with that, he hung up.

On the other side of the city, you listened to the voicemail that Jungkook had sent to you, tears streaming down your face and blurring your vision, your mind already being made up. Putting on a bra and shoes, you grabbed your purse and made your way to Jungkook’s mansion. When you pulled up, you were met with Phil and Leo at the gate. The two guards gave you smile, relief filling their eyes.

Walking into the mansion, you were met with a disastrous living room that had glass and frames on the carpet. A sigh escaped your lips as you realized that you had of fixing up to do.

“I am this drunk that I am imagining you standing right in front of me?” Jungkook asked, scaring your soul out of your body it felt like.

“It’s actually me, Kook.” You giggled, eyes tearing up at the relieved look in Jungkook’s eyes.

One minute his was on the stairs and the next he was squeezing you into his chest.

“You’re back,” he croaked. “Thank God, you’re back to me.”

[bang-tan-bitches]

Y'all I had a dream.

It's so crazy, it would only be compared to a Hopping High Mad Hatter.

OMFG.

This dream starts out okay like I'm with my friends and holy shit, we looked amazing. (Like why can't I be this gorgeous irl!?) I think we all got a glow up. You guys were there too! Y'all were in the front desk and we're wearing suits.(You definitely could have snagged your bais's in even with out the suits. Just saying.) You two also have to halfs of a crown. Like a gold Laurel wreath tucked behind A and B's right and left ear respectively.(I can tell you apart cuz A had a lip ring!)

And holy shit we are transported to this beautiful gymnasium that's was decorated with these whimsical balls of glitter and the ribbons seemed to dance on their own. Good God, I want to go there just for the scenery.

Then the dream flashbacks to yesterday. Omg that gymnasium was suddenly the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. We were called in to clean. And apparently so was BTS. Intersting. We are seperated into a girl's and boys line. And BTS is obviously, in the other line. Mr.K, one of my teachers from America, comes and grabs Tae. But something's is wrong. He's really....small? Like he's a traniee again! What!? But I could not even read a book when that happened. Then I realised, somehow, I really don't know how, I screwed with the time line. I was having a mental breakdown, cuz I wasn't supposed to do that. It's as if I already knew I made a mistake but did it any way. I could see all the members. They were all teens and so was I. Jungkook was still so small and Namjoon had blond hair. Jimin was taller that Jk but we all know how long that lasted. Yoongi was very skinny and kinda pale and had a bandana tied to his head. Jin was still prettier that me as a teenager. Hobi still had a smile that could generate solar energy. And Tae was still an alein with a boxy smile.

We finish decorating and the boy's come over to hand us all an ice cream, and poor jungkook had to go to the girls line. We were all distracted by screen, but not me. When kookie came to give me mine, I did a litte bow and said (네, 감사합니다) which means (Yes, Thank you.) He was surprised I said thank you, and I was surprised that he was surprised (inseption). And he goes over to call his hyungs. They all walk over to me and me along with them are transported to a room whose only noteworthy point is white. Literally. It's so boring it's giving me anxiety. All the boys are now adults and so am I since I screwed with the time line.(Good job🤦) And holy mother of God. Not to brag or anything but adult me...she is hot as hell.

(Shhh let me have my delulu dreams)

Namjoon walks up to me a puts a gold laurel Wreath on my head. And tells me dead in the face "당신의 누이, 왕국의 사랑받는 공주. 우리와 함께 집으로 돌아가십시오" (which means-Your our sister, the beloved princess of the kingdom. Please return home with us.)

And I look at them like any sane person would since their korean and I'm Indian so there are a LOT of signs pointing to the fact that I am definitely NOT their sister or hell, even their half-sister! But they insist and I'm way to curious for may own good so dream teleported we are to this beautiful palace where we are....

Say it with me now,

Teenagers all at the same time cuz I screwed with the time line.

Well, fuckity.

Then as soon as we step INTO the palace we are all....

Say it with me now,

Adults all at the SAME TIME cuz I screwed with the time line.

And you two are there, I run to you guys, hug you both and call you my Aunts. Holy fuck when did this happen!? Oh! and that crown situation? You are two queen's of the kingdom ruled by 7 kings and they have 1 sister. Me. Fantastic. That's why you two had half a laurel crown each cuz you shared the title of Queen. A few kids run to my and I swear they look exactly like replicas of BTS. But the Rap line were all girls. So three nieces and four nephews come running toward me and omg, these are the strongest kids I have ever seen. They literally tackle me to the ground in giggles and I give them each a giant candy bar like the not-a-parent-yet aunt I am. Then as we were walking into the throne room (I knew it was the throne room cuz of the very obvious and large THRONES in the room) For the king's the thrones formed a semi circle and they sat age wise so Namjoon was the center.

You two sat on a throne couch right below him and I sat right in between you 2 and joon.

Then I woke up to write this at 3:37 am so I am very delusional and trying to remember what joon told me cuz I only know basic Korean. Also side note I ate more sugar the I should have the evening before.

(P.s-I heard drinking a glass of apple juice should help give you vivid dreams B. Also this is written in my doc's and titled "Holy Fuck" fitting name if you ask me!)

Omg baby that dream is crazy amazing. I love dreams like that and we are so fucking honored that we could be in your dreams and as Queens?!?!?! HELL YES!

I love everything about your dream. I love how detailed and vivid it was. That is incredible.

I haven't had a bts dream in so long. I(B) did have a crazy vivid nightmare the night before last: the entire dream took place in the day time and vampires were everywhere. They were chasing me and going to kill me and I was able to kill a few by stabbing them in the neck with ballpoint pens but there were these 4 hot vampire guys that I was terrified of because they were like super powerful(and so fucking hot) but I remember hiding under a table in a Mexican restaurant hoping they couldn't smell me and then at one point I escape and I'm running outside in this super crowded area like a fair/amusement park and I'm trying to call the police but I realize I'm in Italy and I don't know how to get the police and I'm crying telling people there are vampires and no one believes me and the hot vampires catch me and I know they're going to kill me and one slices my wrist in public and starts licking my blood and my blood was so hot and sticky and I felt sick and then I woke up.

Dreams are insane and you are so lucky to be able to dream about BTS and being their sister princess.

You are an absolute delight and we cherish every ask we get from you. You're amazing.

We hope you're staying safe and you were able to go back to sleep. Please send us anymore crazy interesting dreams you have. You're wonderful.

[msiopao]

The One with their Baby Ducklings

pairing: namjin x maknae line (ft. uncles sope)

summary: after the disaster, nobi realizes that they are all namjin’s baby ducklings that have been following them since the very beginning

Yelling.

That was the first thing jungkook heard when he woke up. judging by the sound of the voice, it must’ve been jin and he was angry. this time, he was very pissed off and jungkook wanted to stay inside his room to avoid the wrath of jin, even though he doesn’t even know what caused it. the words sounded muffled and he was confused with what happened but something inside told him it was something he wouldn’t want to hear.

“SERIOUSLY! YOU SHOULDN’T DO SOMETHING YOU DON’T KNOW WITHOUT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE THE SITUATION IF TURNED FOR THE WORST!”

“YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN HURT! THANK GOD THE CABINETS ARE NOT WOODEN OR OUR HOUSE WOULD’VE BURNED DOWN!”

“YOU SHOULD’VE CALLED ME TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE WANTING TO DO SO I COULD TELL YOU HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY AND SAFELY!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MY HEART STOPPED WHEN JIMIN CALLED ME ALL FRANTIC AND SCARED?!”

“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!”

a knock from his door made him jump and he burrowed under the covers to hide from his oldest hyung but peeked his head out when he heard the second oldest’s voice.

“Kook?” Yoongi’s voice came through from the other side of the door. “you awake?”

“ah hyung, i think he’s still sleeping.” That was the voice he recognized to be hobi’s.

“are you serious? after all that, he’s still sleeping.”

jungkook stood up to go to the door and he slowly opened it to peek out and see the faces of yoongi and hoseok.

“oh, jungkook!” hobi whisper-yelled and jungkook smiled. “can we come in? we’re not exactly comfortable being out there right now.”

the youngest made way for the older two to enter and they sat on nobi’s bed while jungkook laid on his.

“what happened?” jungkook asked.

hobi laughed while yoongi let out a small chuckle. “it appears while hyung and i were out, the other 3 caught the kitchen on fire.”

with the mention of ‘fire’, jungkook turned around and wildly looked at them. “fire? is nobi okay?”

“seriously, we tell him the kitchen bursted into flames and the first thing he cares about is nobi.”  yoongi’s quiet complains made jungkook quietly growl causing yoongi to wave him off quietly. “yes, she’s okay. but right now, i think she most prefers the flames over her yelling mother out there.”

“apparently, to what we heard jimin say, they wanted to make chicken but they left the oil for too long and caused a grease fire,” hoseok explained.

“ah, seriously. asami sakura,” jungkook groaned and slapped his hand against his forehead.

“you know, when we passed by, nobi was close to crying.” yoongi hit the back of hoseok’s head for the careless confession.

“yah, don’t say that to him,” he quietly scolded causing the younger to mumble an apology. they nervously looked at jungkook, expecting a glare due to how territorial he was to the girl.

“what he meant to say was that nobi’s feeling sorry and i think she was just shaken up.”

“i’m going out there,” jungkook stood up but the other two held him down.

“no. you’ll be roped into a situation you have no business in being in so just stay in here until everything is re-solved,” hoseok reasoned. it didn’t go well with the youngest.

“if the 3 of them almost burned the dorm to the ground, don’t you think it’s an issue we should re-solve by talking it out as a group?”

yoongi and hoseok looked at each other in defeat, knowing that there was nothing else they could say without jungkook arguing with them.

...

nobi sat on the beige couch, fingers fidgeting slightly and hair fanning the sides of her face as if it was an attempt to hide in shame. taehyung and jimin were both looking at the floor, head hanging in shame.

“what were you all thinking just cooking something like that out of the blue?” jin asked angrily, draped over the loveseat with his leg on top of his knee. his voice was hoarse from all the yelling and scolding. “you could’ve gotten badly hurt! burned!”

“it wasn’t their fault, hyung.” nobi looked up to meet his eyes. “i asked them and it’s all my fault. i couldn’t wait for you to come home and i really wanted to try something new.”

“what do you mean ‘something new’? you help me cook all the time!” jin said.

“i wanted to cook something for you and showcase what i’ve learned from you,” nobi mumbled. “i’m sorry, hyung.”

namjoon looked at jin and he nodded. “listen, you three. sure, we’re angry and we’re mad. but we were just worried because you didn’t know how to put it out and we don’t know what we would do if you got hurt. you’re more than our members and co-workers. you’re our family, you guys. do you understand?”

tears gathered in her eyes at her leader’s words as there was no one else she wanted to impress. he’s her idol and him telling her that was enough to get the waterfall to spill down her face.

“i understand that it was an accident and you were just trying to eat something. but, dear god, i will never forgive myself for leaving you here and being hurt because i wasn’t here,” jin sighed.

“your lives are our top priority and we will do anything to keep you from hurting yourselves anymore than you have.”

the appearance of the last 3 members from the hallway made everyone look at them and jungkook immediately stuck himself beside nobi on the space that taehyung made by scooting to the edge of the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“sorry i wasn’t awake to help,” he mumbled to which she just smiled softly.

“you would’ve probably made it worse.”

“i’ll just ask this: are you guys okay?” yoongi asked, the slightest tone of worry in his voice.

“yea,” the maknae line, minus jungkook, replied quietly.

“a fire. thank god for the fire extinguisher,” jin kept muttering.

“that must’ve been the feeling that we felt!” hoseok giggled at the unfamiliar dread in the pit of his stomach earlier. “yoongi-hyung and i had this weird sense of dread and we thought we were going crazy!”

“i think something was trying to tell us it was a fire since the song played in my speakers,” yoongi added.

“maybe fate was trying to tell us you were in trouble?” hoseok wondered. “sorry your uncles weren’t there to help, kids.”

“you’re not our uncles, hyung.” jimin’s comment made the self-proclaimed uncles look at him wildly causing him to stutter out, “more like,,, cousins?”

“either way, we apologize for not being there to help you.”

“shouldn’t you have called me first though, asami sakura?” yoongi pointed, fake hurt plastered on his face.

namjoon and jin shared a look that meant they were done with this whole thing. but they appreciated the others’ attempt of lightening up the mood.

“you should be punished for this whole thing,” jin said causing the three to deflate. “but since it was an accident and you didn’t meant to, i won’t make it very harsh. just cleaning up this mess and dish duty for 3 months, one for each of you. and you 3 aren’t allowed to be at home without one of us to stay behind.”

surprise was evident on their faces as they were expecting something harsh like cleaning the whole dorm but hey, they’ll take just dish duty. they were grateful for jin’s understanding as the situation wasn’t in their control and they couldn’t help the fire from happening.

“namjoon, you stay here while i go take a bath. good lord, i need a nice bath to calm myself,” jin stood up and walked to the hallway. “my heart is still beating.”

“i woke up to him. but at least he got it out of his system by screaming and yelling,” jungkook explained.

nobi was still quiet but she moved closer to his side and he tightened his hold around her.

“i think i’m spiderman,” hoseok massaged his chest, on top of where his heart was supposed to be. “like i got his instictual feeling!”

“no, you are anpanman.”

jimin’s quiet retort made the others chuckle and namjoon observed his little family.

the mood has turned from dark to light in a matter of minutes and jin returned with his signature pink hoodie and grey sweats while running his hands through his hair.

“since you’re hungry and you weren’t able to eat, we’ll just order chicken. no cooking from now on! you’re not allowed to be near the stove! 6 feet apart between you and the stove!” jin warned and the three nodded.

“accidents happen, you guys. but we just have to continue moving forward while making changes to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” namjoon smiled which soothed the remaining fear in her stomach.

jimin, taehyung, and nobi thought the same thing as they looked at their mother and father simultaneously.

something flashed in their eyes and it was the same exact memory from when they were still trainees and suffered at the mere thought of debut. 

when the 6 of them, including yoongi, were crying and having a mental breakdown, namjoon and jin were the only ones who kept their cool and offered their hands to pull them out of that hole. when their doubts and worries overtook their minds and caused the biggest arguments in their group, namjoon and jin were the ones who stayed up many nights, figuring out ways for broadcasts to give them a chance to debut and keeping the group together.

despite their ages, they were still just children and people who were naive that got angry at the simple thought and acknowledgement of disappointment. but namjoon and jin were the ones who forced themselves to mature so they could help the others and make their dreams come true.

in a way, they dragged the others from their slump and dark thoughts and made them trail behind jin with his words of encouragement while namjoon stayed behind to make sure no one strayed away and succumbed to the temptation of sadness and giving up.

they were namjoon and jin’s little ducklings, following behind but refusing to leave the line even though they were more than capable of being their own ducks and spreading their wings to fly.

they were a family and they will continue to stay on that line until they die.

they will always be the baby ducklings since their trainee days.

a/n: maybe this wasn’t what you guys wanted :(. but i personally thought this was cute and if i did that, i think my parents would actually kill me

[purpletigertaetae]

Welcome to the Magic Shop!

Pairing: Platonic!BTS x Reader

Word Count: 1916 

Genre: Slice of life

Rating: PG

Warnings: So much fluff, I mean TOOTH ROTTING fluff

Tagging: @taetaesbaebaepsae, @illneverrecover, @triheartedhero, @lvupmushroom, @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife, @thecozywhaleshark and the rest of Cirque or course!

Notes: So recently, I’ve had the worst week and then burst into tears yesterday when I listened to Magic Shop. Turns out, this week had been bad for almost all of my friends as well. This is how I imagine our boys would take care of us. It’s a little out of my comfort zone, I’m not the best at writing fluff (I’m not the best at writing in general), but here you go! Hope you enjoy!

          It had officially been the worst week of your life. It had seemed to go on and on, one disaster after the next, happening back to back. God definitely had it out for you this week. Monday had started off okay, until you left your apartment. What was supposed to have been a sunny day led to sudden downpours and you were wearing a white shirt. Upon reaching the office, the coffee machine had exploded and your previously white (see-through, at that point) shirt had turned a splotchy brown. Tuesday, your computer broke down and your 25-page proposal for your client had been, unbelievably and shockingly, erased. Wednesday, the printer malfunctioned and broke right as you were printing an important document to submit. Yesterday, your apartment had flooded, and you had to fork over a couple thousand dollars you didn’t have, to get it fixed. Today had been the worst day of all. A friend had created unnecessary and mind numbing drama, your boss had decided that your rewritten proposal wasn’t good enough and you had to listen to an hour lecture about how he expected more from you, and while at lunch, your high heel had broken, snapping clean and twisting your ankle in the process. At this point, you couldn’t wait until 7 to get home, eat some ice cream and cry in bed.

          At 4:45 you got a text message from Jungkook, Noona, are you coming over after work?

          Every Friday you went over to the boys’ tiny, four-bedroom, apartment. In this big city away from your hometown, they had become your family. Your best friends. Seeing them always brightened your day, but recently they had been very busy. They were gearing up to release their album and, in that hassle, it had been a full week since you had seen them last. Today, however, you didn’t want to see anyone. You figured you wouldn’t be good company, especially because a mental breakdown was imminent.

          No, Kookie, not today. I’m really tired. Maybe next week. Honestly, you were just going to go home, get into some sweats and cry a river.

--

           Jungkook knew you well. In the group of the seven and you, he was your best friend. So that text threw him off. He knew that something had gone wrong, and he also knew that you needed your friends. He came out of his room, his phone in his hand and walked into the living room, kitchen area. Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi were lounging around on the sofa and Jin and Jimin were meddling in the kitchen, figuring out dinner. Namjoon noticed Jungkook walking in and asked, “Kook? What’s wrong? Why are you frowning?”

“Noona’s not coming over tonight.”

“YAHH, why?” Jin yelled from the kitchen, “What’s wrong? Is she busy?”

          At the yell, Hobi and Taehyung came out from their respective rooms into the living room.

“What’s going on? Why is Jin Hyung yelling?” Hobi asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Noona’s not coming over, Jungkook said.” Jimin replied, worry evident in his eyes.

“I think she’s had a bad day at work, or something’s gone wrong. We should go over and comfort her, Hyungs.”

“That’s a good idea Kook, but I have a better idea.” Hobi replied, “Let’s make her weekend magical. We’re taking her to the Magic Shop.”

Yoongi groaned, “Oh man, that’s going to take a lot of work.”

“Come on Hyung! For Y/N! Let’s do it!” Tae grinned and the boys began preparations.

--

           At 7:30 you finally reached home. You stood outside your apartment rummaging in your bag for keys, but you couldn’t find them. Brows furrowed, you cursed angrily, realizing your keys were sitting on your desk at work. This day literally could not get any worse.

           Taehyung from inside heard you curse and whispered, “Hyungs! She’s here!” But when the door didn’t open, he realized you couldn’t find your keys and yelled, “Y/N, come inside! The door is open.”

           You looked at your door in shock. Someone was inside? That voice sounded an awful lot like Taehyung. You cautiously opened the door and entered, your eyes widening and jaw dropping in the process.

           When you stepped inside, you were greeted with a transformed apartment. Your couch had been pushed back and there were blankets and pillows littered everywhere. A soft gauzy tent had been set up with pink and white cloth, creating a beautiful shimmering pillow fort. All along the entrance and on every available surface, candles were lit, casting soft light into the otherwise dark apartment. When you looked at the center of the apartment you saw seven smiling faces: one boxy smile, one eye crescent smile, one gummy smile, one bunny smile, one soft lipped smile, one cheek dimpled smile and one sunshine smile. Looking at them, and your apartment, you promptly burst into loud ugly sobbing tears.

           At your response, the boys all looked at each other and then at you in shock. You just kept crying into your hands. Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook jumped up and scrambled towards you, trying to console you.

           “Shhh jagi, no crying.” Jimin wrapped his arms around you in a back hug while Tae extricated your hands from your face, wiping your face in the process. Jungkook stood behind his two Hyungs jumping on the balls of his feet, “Noona please don’t cry! You’ll ruin the surprise!” At their tender touches and caresses, you let out a mixed sob laugh and finally tried to quiet down.

           “Wh-wha-what is going on?”

           Jungkook and Tae took your hand while Jimin and Hobi got up and opened the entrance to the fort. “Welcome to the Magic Shop!” All the boys chorused.

           “We got to take Army to the Magic Shop, but jagiya you didn’t get to come. This is your personal Magic Shop! We’re here to take your worries away!” Namjoon gave you another dimpled smile and you gave him a teary smile in return.

          Jin got up and looked at the maknaes, “Boys, take her to her room and get her dressed in the softest clothes you can find, while I set up here.”

          You numbly followed as the maknaes took you to your room and picked out your favorite sweats and hoodie. “Noona, we’ll be right outside okay? You come out when you have changed and are ready!”

          Jimin and Tae followed Kook outside and waited patiently, while in the living room, Yoongi fiddled with the stereo system, testing to make sure his back track was working. In the kitchen, Jin pulled out the snacks and warm food he had made and carried it into the living room. Namjoon threw a couple of blankets into the dryer so they would be fluffy and warm and brought them back out into the living room. Once you came out of the room, the maknaes led you to the fort and placed you right in the middle. “Here’s your seat of honor, now relax, have some food, and enjoy the show okay?” Yoongi tucked a warm blanket around you and put a cup of piping hot chocolate into your hands. He got up and pressed play, while all the boys got into a half circle around you. Your eyes widened again as they began playing their entire setlist for you. Some songs were cut in half so the personal concert wouldn’t go on and on, but they also included some of your favorites like Paradise, Let Go, and Love Maze. Your eyes lit up in wonder and amazement as you watched your favorite boys perform your favorite songs for you. They danced around you, making you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe and making you blush when they danced suggestively, winking and cracking up along with you.

          Every once in a while, they would sit down and say a couple of comments, just like they would in their concerts. Except these comments were different. Each comment was about you, your character, your personality. Namjoon commented on your cunning intelligence, and your ability to find the answer no matter how difficult the problem. Seokjin commented on your beautiful face, laughing, “It’s even prettier than mine jagiya!” Yoongi commented on your sharp wit, making him laugh when no one else could. Hobi praised your beautiful spirit making even him, Mr Sunshine, happy when he felt down. Jimin commented on your resilience, “Jagi, you can withstand anything the world throws at you! You’re so strong!” Tae complimented your ability to let loose and be childlike, willing to have fun even with little kids. “Plus, Yeontan loves you!” At each comment, your heart lifted, your eyes growing softer and softer until they were filling with unshed tears.

          Finally, Jungkook spoke. “Noona, you’re my best friend, my older sister. I was gifted with six older brothers, but not a sister until you came into our lives. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the day that you spilled that coffee over me was the best day of my life,”

          “YAH WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU MET US?!” The boys’ yelled, making you giggle.

          “Okay, okay, one of the best days of my life. Noona, you’re the strength behind us, BTS and I hope that we can be the same strength for you! This is the last song of the night! Hit it Yoongi Hyung!”

          Yoongi hit play one last time and the opening tune for Magic Shop began playing. At the soothing melody, your heart began to sing, and your tears spilled over onto your cheeks. The comfort they sang about was one you had been searching for all week. These boys, these seven, loud boisterous boys had shown you comfort when you were fresh out. They had seen you at your worst and they still loved you, cared for you and showered you with affection. They were your universe, your galaxy, your entire life. As they sang, you sang along softly, swaying gently, tears still streaming down your cheeks.

“You gave me the best of me, so you'll give you the best of you… So show me…”

“I’ll show you”

“So show me”

“I’ll show you”

“So show me, I’ll show you, show you!”

          As the song came to a close, you let out another mixed sob laugh and all the boys turned towards you.

“Uhhh, hyungs? Why is she still crying?” Jimin whispered, “I thought she was feeling better?”

“Jiminie, these are happy tears. I love you all so much. So so so much. Thank you.” You choked out.

          At that, all the boys rushed to you and enveloped you in a huge, bone-crushing hug. Your cheeks were smothered in light kisses as they all, even Yoongi, kissed your tears away. “Jagi, we might not be with you all the time, but we’re always in here.” Yoongi touched your heart and looked you deep in the eyes. You nodded, wiping your tears away.

“Hey! No crying now! Time for the encore! Waiting for you Anpanmaaaaaaaan!” Hobi jumped up and took up the superman pose.

“Hyung that’s my line!” Tae pulled him down and got up.

“Hey, no! I want to open the song!” Jimin pouted. From your position in Yoongi’s arms you chuckled at their antics, the stress of the week gone. You relaxed deeper into Yoongi’s arms as Jungkook pulled a blanket around you, and Joon lightly kissed your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut, finally, finding the rest you had craved.

The Magic Shop always came through in the end.

A/N: So, I wrote this yesterday, and I didn't edit it, so excuse any errors. I’m cringing so hard as I write this because I honestly don't think I did a very good job. But I’d love to hear your concerns, critiques or questions! Back and Forth part 3 will be up on Friday :)

[bulletproof-reacts]

BTS reaction: their partner being late to their wedding

I’m making it slightly shorter by skipping the part about the person having to go to the bathroom, I hope that’s fine with you. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you like it! xx

Jin/Kim Seokjin: 

He’d be so stressed. Like, all of the members would be, but he would be one of the most stressed ones. Actually panicking. He’d probably be thinking about the worst case scenarios, and just get more stressed knowing all the guests were watching him having a mental breakdown. Upon seeing the bridesmaid/groomsman he’d hope everything was fine, while still preparing himself for bad news. He’d be so relieved knowing you were just delayed his knees would almost give out, and the entire audience would relax because they could all visibly see him relax, which probably meant you were coming soon.

Suga/Min Yoongi: 

We know he’s been struggling with social anxiety/anxiety in general before, and that would definitely come to play in this scenario. He wouldn’t show it a lot outwardly, like he would go stiff and probably fiddle a bit with his fingers, but that would be it. But in reality he’d be almost blacked out, while sweating and just overall panicking. He’d probably want to leave, but he’d stay put both because he wants to wait until he’s sure you won’t show up, and because he’s just paralyzed and frozen to the ground. When he gets the news that you’re just late he’ll be unimaginably relieved, but he won’t show it as much as Jin. Mainly because he’s so worked up emotionally at this point that it takes him a while to calm himself down enough to move again.

J-Hope/Jung Hoseok: 

I feel like he’s the kinda guy who would always believe something bad has happened if you’re late to something, or not answering when you usually do. In this case he’d probably just start fearing that you changed your mind last minute and don’t want to go through with the wedding after all. And he’s another member who would be visibly stressed. He’d have that upset pout on his face, and he wouldn’t be able to stay still. Once he’s heard that you’re just late he would immediately start smiling and relaxing though. And once he sees you, he would tell himself how ridiculous he had been for even thinking that you would bail on him now when you haven’t before.

RM/Kim Namjoon: 

He’d probably be the calmest of the boys in this situation, because he’s so used to having to stay level-headed in every situation. They all do, but Namjoon in particular, as the leader, needs to be calm even if the others aren’t. He’d probably just assume that you’re late, and wait calmly at the altar. He’d have worries about you having gotten into an accident and stuff in the back of his mind, and he’d get more worried every minute. But he’d be mostly worried, and not so much nervous. When it’s confirmed that you’re indeed only late, and there hasn’t been an accident, he’d just stay calmly and wait by the altar, smiling at the guests and chatting with his groomsmen, while waiting.

Jimin/Park Jimin: 

He’d probably be more similar to Hobi. He’d slightly panic because “what if they don’t wanna go through with the wedding anymore?”. He wouldn’t be as visibly nervous though. Like, people would be able to tell that he’s not feeling great from the look on his face, but other than that he would stay calm on the outside. He’d be getting very worked up emotionally tho, which would lead to him being similar to Yoongi after finding out that you’re just late, in the way that he’d need some time to calm down emotionally before visibly relaxing.

V/Kim Taehyung: 

Honestly he would be a lot like Namjoon. He isn’t worried at all that you might get cold feet and decide to not go through with the wedding, because he knows the both of you love each other and really want this. So he would assume you’re just delayed, while worrying slightly about the possibility of you getting into an accident. And once he knows he can relax he’d talk to his groomsmen (aka BTS) to kind of stop himself from getting more nervous about the wedding in itself.

Jungkook/Jeon Jeongguk: 

He’s a mess. Not really because of the situation, but more because he’s having every reaction to it. Like, he’ll be telling himself that logically you’re probably just delayed, while also worrying that you’ve either gotten into an accident or decided to cancel the wedding. And outwardly he’ll be pacing around, just to suddenly stay still a while before pacing again. He just doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he’ll seem to be more of a mess that he actually is. Once he finds out that everything is under control, the nerves for the wedding will set in for real, so people won’t really notice a change in his behavior, because he’ll act the same but for another reason.

[hollyhomburg]

Butterfly (Part 2) (Reader x Ot7)

-Link for the first part in my Masterlist-

Summary: You’d always imagined that your relationship would be over if your seven boyfriends found out you self-harmed. But after a slip-up, everyone finds out about your bad habit. To your surprise, they make it clear that they’re not going anywhere.

Warnings: Graphic depictions of self-harm, Blood, Self-esteem issues, Self-hate, Bad self-talk, Insecurity, Polyamory, Brief explicit sexual content, Mentions of breakdowns, Slight emotional abuse, Self-conscious! Taehyung, 

W/c: 9.0k

A/n: Yeah so Jungkook fucks up in this one, be warned a lot of the shit he says is like 100% not okay. please, if you're triggered by self-harm don't read this.  For the record: writing stuff like this is very much a part of my recovery and I'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary of like not doing it! 

song rec: Good side by Troye Sivan 

One month later:

You sit with your back up against the wall of your bathtub, your head tipped back against the cold porcelain; it cools the sweat that condensed on your neck. Feeling something like a high flick through your veins both supple and leisurely. Your breath comes out in huffs as the euphoria fills you. Your phone dings next to you, a pleasant afterthought to what you’re feeling right now. You cast it an empty glance, another message dings on the screen as you look at it.

Yoongi (10:32): Are you coming over again today? You left kinda suddenly. Yoongi (10:33): It’s a Sunday…

Whereas a few minutes ago a text message from him would have sent you into an anxious spiral, now it just makes you feel nothing- though you have no idea if It has anything to do with him knowing your secrets now or the fact that cutting makes it basically impossible to care about anything. You’re numb, your heart feels like it’s at the bottom of a frozen ocean, your thoughts and worries disappeared into the mist in your mind, darkness dragging in your veins so thick that nothing gets through. 

The seconds drip by slowly and not at all. Seconds could have gone by or hours and it would feel the same. Your eyes unfocused on the white tiled wall of your bathroom across from you. Amazingly soft, it seems like it’s barely been a few seconds before you hear your phone ding again.

Yoongi (10:45): Princess?

Yoongi’s pet name for you any other time would make your heart flutter with warmth. And Fuck, the rational part of you that just won’t shut off no matter how deep you go. You know you should really respond to him, that’s what you usually do when you don’t feel like this right? He’s going to worry, really Yoongi’s done nothing but worry over you and fuss the last few weeks. 

You know he hates feeling like he’s overbearing, but he knows you need it. It had been a little bit of a fight because you’d been trying so hard, to put back up the walls torn down as he’d been moving to get closer to get you to talk about your dysfunction. The rest of your boyfriends did the same, parrying every indecisive look with nothing but care. 

Every single time you went back to your apartment they tried to stop you. Every time you went to the bathroom they measured each minute. More than once they’ve thought: ‘fuck- did I put my shaving razor away?’ You can tell- they breathe a sigh of relief every time you come back into the room, and yesterday when you spend a few extra minutes playing on your phone you heard one of them come to check on you- but disappear once they heard the sound of your phone. They didn’t know to what extent you’d go to hide it, but you knew they didn’t have to worry about that. Why do it when you could be caught? A small sick part of you felt pride at the way you could evade even them. 

But then the other part of you retaliated with a vengeance- a war in your head. Let them love you. Let them care. Don’t sneak off and find an easy solution to the anxiety clogging you up like oil.

Don’t do it- Don’t- Just tell them what you need- too late.

That’s what had happened today. Your mind flicks back to the morning.

The rappers had excused themselves early, you’d made your nightly home cuddled between Seokjin and Namjoon and though elder of the two was still asleep. Namjoon had woken you up. Murmuring a sorry for waking you darling against your skin as he retracted his arm from under your body. And while he got ready for the day by showering and doing his morning routine. You had gone to the kitchen to make breakfast. Something that you love to do when you had the time.

It was an off day for you anyway and you didn’t mind. You wanted to give back any way you could now that they were doing so much for you. Maybe if you could do everything for them- it would convince them to stay with you. Maybe if you did enough- it could repay the kindness they had for you.

You stumble into the kitchen ready to make pancakes and a fruit salad for Hobi who didn’t like heavy meals in the morning especially if they had dance practice. Hoseok had a meeting with the choreographer after their meeting today couldn't be full for it. You found Jungkook already sitting there. Enjoying a bowl of cereal and reading the news on his phone. 

You stopped startled. “Oh,” you said, “Good morning” Jungkook didn’t look at you, sighing and parroting a good morning back. But it sounds tired, and annoyed and more than a little passive-aggressive. He sounds like the fact that you’re in the kitchen with him makes him want to leave. 

You try to fight the anxiety down, tiptoeing around him trying not to make too much noise and disrupt his reading, mentally berating yourself for every little bit of noise you make. Maybe it’s just better if you go back and snuggle with Seokjin, but you want to make breakfast for the others, want to see their eyes light up and eat with them like normal. You want to do something normal with your boyfriends. So you stay, even if every sigh from Jungkook makes you want to bolt. 

You remember how it used to be, between the two of you, how a few weeks ago he would have jumped up and snuggled you from behind, back hugged you and stolen pieces of banana out of Hobi’s fruit salad. And asked you how he could help. How Namjoon would come up behind the two of you cooking and sling an arm around each of your shoulders and tease the two of you with kisses asking for a bite of. How you’d shriek and giggle and feel your heart bursting with love. 

You accidentally make a clanging sound when you dropped a whisk into the glass bowl, and Jungkook sighs again this time louder. ”Can’t you be quieter? I’m trying to read.” He says, not even looking up from his phone. 

“Sorry,” you say meekly. “I’ll try, I’m almost done then I’ll be out of your hair.” And you really had but Jungkook had been all about ready to leave the kitchen by the time you were finishing up the first pancakes. “I’m making pancakes, do you want any? I can easily make more for you? ”

“I’m on a diet.” Jungkook answers. Nothing more nothing less. Namjoon and Hoseok wander into the kitchen before you can really answer. Hoseok has fresh hickeys doting his collarbones and Namjoon has that shaggy sated look that he gets after sex. 

Judging by the way he’s hanging onto Hoseok’s hand they’ve just found a more carnal comfort between the two of them- come to think of it you thought you heard something from the bathroom when you passed it. Now you wonder if it was a muffled moan. Hoseok grabs onto your hips and back hugs you as you through a grin over your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your neck as he whispers good morning. Definitely post sex, Hoseok is always especially touchy and needy afterward. 

“Oh my god I love you” he says as he reaches over to the already chopped fruit salad and pops a blueberry into his mouth making a noise and squeezing you a little tighter around your waist. You can’t resist smiling, and making a happy “ummhmm” noise as you flip a pancake.

“There’s one already ready for you Joonie.”

“Thank you Darling,” he says, as Hobi takes his fruit salad and sits down, leaning over to cuddle into Jungkook slinging his legs over his lap. Jungkook accepts the affection without complaint. and you see his hand rest gently over Hoseok’s on his knee.  you turn away before either of them catch you staring, ignoring the way your heart stirs sadly at the sight of them. Why do you feel like you’re intruding? 

“Has anyone woken the monster yet?” 

“No, he looked too happy wrapped in between Tae and Jiminie. and he was up late last night getting the track ready for the meeting today.” 

“Will you go get him up kooky?” 

“Make her do it.” Namjoon puts down his fork and swallows his bite of pancake as Hoseok’s arm shudders on its trail up Jungkook’s thigh. “She’s already making breakfast kooky.” 

“It’s alright!” You say, taking off Jin’s apron and laying it across the counter.  

“No,” Namjoon says, sending a commanding glance your way. “Jungkook can do it.” 

Jungkook huffs and pushes Hoseok’s legs off of his. “Fine,” pronouncing the syllable like it’s a knife intending to carve out something from the room and take it with him. “it was too noisy in here to read anyway.” he stalks off. 

“Why was he so grumpy today?” Hoseok asks as soon as he’s out of the room. and you share a short glance with Namjoon, he’s looking at you with so much concern in his eyes that you have to look away. 

“It’s okay. Probably nothing” You say, immediately undercutting your words by the way you shift from foot to foot and then toss down your dish towel, “I’m going to go apologize to him-“ 

“For what!?” Hoseok asks as Namjoon tries to stop you. The second you round the corner to Jungkook’s room you freeze, Jungkook is leaning over Jimin who’s still in his loose pajama pants and a too big black shirt of Taes. The light at the end of the hall silhouettes both of them as Jungkook presses Jimin against the wall. As he leans in for a kiss, suddenly, your desire to apologize disappears, and you would have turned to leave if Jimin hadn’t seen you over Kookies shoulder, Jimin smiles and stops inches away from Jungkook’s lips. 

“Good Morning Y/n!” Jimin says cheerily, detangling from Jungkook,

You shrink back, already trying to move away, “Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt- I was just-” 

“Jesus Christ!” Jungkook groans, turning in your direction even as you mutter out another sorry and try to head back down the stairs. “When will you learn to not be in the way?” jimin’s lips are parted, agape at the scalding tone Jungkook uses with you. 

“I’m sorry I-I-“ you stutter and fall silent, unable to meet Jungkook or Jimin’s eyes, your apology falling short. Jimin puts a hand on Jungkook’s arm his mouth opening and closing. 

“You what Y/n? What could you of all people have to be sorry for?” Jungkook growls out, and it sounds vapid. Everything in you deflates in a second. Jungkook gives you a moment to respond and when it comes clear you won’t He gives another frustrated huff before he turns and walks into his room, shutting the door behind him roughly. Jimin is standing wide-eyed and too drowsy to really process all that’s just happened but to his credit, he does reach for you. you flinch out of his way.  “Jagiya” 

“Yeah- fuck that- I’m- I’m out,” you say, swallowing back your tears avoiding Jimin’s concerned look.  “I’m out- I’m going back to my apartment- see you later Minnie” You run back down the stairs even though Jimin is calling your name and hurrying after you, You tiptoe shakily into Jin’s room where he still sleeps oblivious to the earthquake of emotions shaking it’s way through you, still sprawled out on the bed. You grab your things from his desk and close the door with a click. Namjoon calls your name too before the door shuts behind you. 

Which had lead you to your current predicament. Sitting on your bathroom floor, blood running down your wrist. 

They did such a good job of caring for you and you fucked up again and again. You knew you didn’t deserve their care. Confessed to them as much. But Deep down you hated how worried you were making them. Maybe it wasn’t to late to save them from you- from this mess. Maybe if you tried talking to them again, they’d let you leave them over this. 

Maybe now that they had seen what it was like to love you like this- they were rethinking their decision of staying with you. 

Maybe Jungkook was right- maybe you should just learn to not be in the way. 

You’d heard them in the kitchen the night before, as you got ready to stay over “she’s staying the night?” Namjoon had asked on his way inside the apartment. Jimin must have nodded while he turned over a pot of kimchi jjigae “Thank god, now we can keep an eye on her.” he had said hushed. The desperation and relief in that sentence more belying stress rather than concern. 

You were making them more stressed all the time, too stressed on top of their busy lives. You missed the days when they would pull you close and tell you that they were lucky to have a girlfriend like you, someone that took away their stress instead of adding to it. They had a comeback coming up in a month, and work was going to pick up. And they wouldn’t have any room at all in their schedules to bother with you, least of all time to deal with this mess. Didn’t mean they wouldn’t worry about it though. 

Yoongi (11:10): Are you doing it again? Is that why you’re not responding? Yoongi (11:11): Y/n? Yoongi (11:13): Fuck…

The guilt was just another thing that was going to eat away at you and it makes self-hate curdle in your veins, like lemon in milk. But then again, Jungkook hates you enough for the two of you. 

The fight today wasn’t the first thing to happen between the two of you. The increasing distance between you and your youngest boyfriend is something that’s increased each day. Where you even still together? Every time he catches you smiling or laughing or doing anything at all normal a frown fixes on his face and his whole body tightens. You couldn’t stop thinking about it- your fight today, how he’d practically snarled those words at you. 

And you know he’s right. You’re so in the way all the time, you were sorry- he had to know you where sorry. Maybe if you just pay for it a little more, cut a little more than you already have, he’ll know you know and then he won’t have to remind you. 

Fuck you should really text Yoongi back. But you know what will happen if you tell him- he’ll cancel their meeting and then you’ll be even more in the way than you were before. As if on cue your phone dings again.

Yoongi (11:16): Fuck this waiting. I’m coming over. Seokjin wants to come too. Jimin told me what happened with Kooky today. Namjoon’s going to talk to him later. Yoongi (11:16): Is that okay? That we come over? Yoongi (11:17): Fuck… just answers me at least.

You don’t have the energy right now to do anything- to protest against him coming here. You’ll let him in let him tare down the walls, He would probably just show up anyway even if you told him not too.

You force your nearly numb fingertips to move, your shaky hand hovers over the phone to your right; your bloody fingertips leave marks against your phone as you type out a message:

Y/n (11:20): Don’t let Jin come up if you don’t think he can handle it.

Jin has always more sensitive, more prone to uncontrollable bursts of feels that give way to anxiety in moments like this and you don’t want to make him upset. He doesn’t need to be upset over this. It’s not really a big deal, it’s just you, as usual, self-destructive tendencies and all. 

Your phone lights up even before you’re done thinking about your next message. Maybe a warning, maybe bring some Band-Aids, or bring me some sleeping pills to sedate me, or a lie- I’m not at my apartment don’t come over. Lie lie lie. It would be easy- just do it, you’ve lied to them before.

Yoongi (11:23): Fuck, he’s driving, okay. Okay.

Yoongi (11:39): Here, we’re coming up right now.

You try to care that he’s about to see you like this, A hand comes up unbidden, pulling down your shirt to cover your chest. It’s black, so the blood from the few less deep cuts under your breasts won’t stain it. Somewhere in the last half an hour, you’d moved to your wrists- It always felt so much better to cut there after all and you don’t really have to hide them every more but it’s not like you’re going to go around wearing tee-shirts any time soon. You can tell by the way it feels that you’d gone a little too far this time, it’s too numb, but there’ s little you can do about it now. 

You spend the few seconds before you hear the keypad and the lock turn for your front door wondering if you should try to stand- to act normal when he obviously knows what happened. Only one set of footsteps. Then a quiet knock on the door. 

“Baby…” comes from the outside. Yoongi sounds desperate and more afraid than you want him too. 

“Only come in if you’re prepared to see.” Bland, when did your voice start to sound so empty? 

“Oh fuck off, Y/n, you know I can handle-” Yoongi says, always a little gruff in inappropriate situations, always a little bad at comforting people no matter how hard he tries, always prone to cursing when he’s feeling things so strongly that he can’t just not, and if you didn’t know him so well it might make you angry instead of endeared, but with how just- nothing you are right now it almost makes you want to laugh. 

It’s not hilarious As he opens the door, rolling his eyes as he does it but freezing as he sees you stretched out, languid in your high, and sees the blood. it feels like the floor drops out from under him. 

“Told you that you weren’t ready.” You say blandly. Not a single amount of emotion on your face. This was why you cut- both for the nothingness and for the pain that distracted you. To Yoongi you look so gone- besides your pupils, blown like you actually are high.  

Your right wrist is completely unmarked- but the other one, and your opposite thigh- they’re. The only word that Yoongi can think to describe them is mutilated. You make to sit up but Yoongi doesn’t let you, Instead of going to the sink and getting a wet washcloth. Before sitting next to you.  

His hands shake as he grabs your arm gently. Pressing the damp cloth to your wrist. It’s cool and barely hurts hurt as he slowly wipes away the blood. You still wince and he still chokes out “I’m sorry I’m sorry” and you try to tell him try to say- don’t worry none of them that deep there’s just a lot of them so it only looks like they’re bleeding a lot, but Yoongi silence you with a look, his cheeks wet. Really you hadn’t gone deep at all today, these marks wouldn’t scar, and if they did, they would be barely there white lines, gone before spring. 

Normally, you’d struggle to meet his gaze, you’re so empty, that your mind can’t help but fixate on Yoongi, who isn’t looking at you, his russet hair hanging over his eyes as his teeth worry at his lower lip. “Yoongi you don’t have to-“ he sends you a glare, and then moves onto your thigh, even wiping off your phone.  

“Where’s Jin?” you croak, your throat dry. 

“He’s getting snacks at the convenience store for our movie night.” 

“Movie night?” you ask, Yoongi sighs, knowing you’d forgotten, though you obviously have more on your plate than thoughts about a movie night. Obviously, they all have more on their plate.  He’s so glad he made the choice to come over- when Jimin had come to find him shortly after you left and said, “I’m worried about her- something just happened with kooky and then she left and I think she might be- I know you have to go meet with management today but-“

“I know I’m shit at saying my emotions out loud, or expressing my needs or - or telling- or showing you I care, but I need to say it.” Yoongi’s voice is shaking as he takes your hand gently in his, tears drip down his chin and he wipes them away angrily. 

“Please don’t- don’t die on me, don’t…kill yourself, please. I don’t care where I am- what I’m doing- if I have to run 100 miles, stay on the phone with you the whole night, or cancel a fucking tour to come and get you, if I have to hold you down to stop you- at least tell me if it’s getting bad. And if you can’t- then fuck, fuck at least tell Namjoon, or Seokjin, or someone, fuck-”

“Yoongi,” you say, grabbing his chin softly, wiping away one of the tears that’s gotten trapped on his lower on his lip. Trying to make your words as clear as possible. “I’m not gonna kill myself.” 

“Are you sure you’re not trying too?” He asks, gesturing to your wrist and thigh. Sometimes Yoongi is the bluntest spitfire in your whole group, and you’re thankful right now, because his words are cutting through your haze of adrenaline and the release of endorphins left over from your high.  And in the sterile light of your bathroom you admit, your skin does look a little…shredded. It looks a little concerning, and concern is good, that means you’re feeling for once. 

A bag of candies falls in the hallway, the jawbreakers already open, rattling against the tile as they fall to the floor, multicolored. Both your heads snap up, to behold Jin in the doorway. The bag of snacks in his hands fall to the ground joining the gobstoppers on the floor. 

“Fuck,” he says, his eyes wide and terrified as he takes in the scene in front of him, Yoongi and your bare wrists on the floor of the bathroom. Seokjin strong arms himself into the bathroom.

 “Jinnie I’m sorry I didn’t want you too-“ Jin looks down at you a little angry but more than a little sad.  He holds up a finger stopping your words as he goes to where he knows he first aid kit is. Your bathroom isn’t small by any means but there is barely enough room for Seokjin to sit in front of you and wrap your arm with a bandage. Yoongi pins himself by the wall slumping from his crouch onto his ass and holding your hand. As Seokjin takes out the things he needs to patch you up. 

You let him do it, limp even when he runs the disinfectant over them. The sting barely hurting compared to how your whole body is throbbing. “You shouldn’t have whipped off the blood now they won’t clot as well,” Seokjin says too Yoongi who quickly replies, “I didn’t know-” 

“Please” you stop them, “don’t fight over me, and don’t fight over this- it’s not worth it, I’m-” 

“If you say you’re not worth it, I think I might punch a wall” Yoongi informs you. A tear from Seokjin’s eyes single drops onto your wrist, but Seokjin quickly wraps up your arm with the gauze, covering it. But you still feel the slight prick of coolness. Seokjin is hunched over, his longer hair falling into his eyes. 

“Jin-“ Yoongi says, 

“I don’t- we can’t- I can’t talk about this right now,” Jin says, gritting his teeth looking up at you, trying desperately not to cry. “Because if we do, then I’m going to try to convince you to promise never to do this again and then well fight because I know you won't and I don’t- I don’t want to be like that right now.” You nod, as Yoongi bites his lip looking from you to Seokjin. “I don’t want to fight with you when it’s clear you're struggling.” 

“I don’t want tonight to be like that either.” You breathed out, a tiny drop of relief breaking through as Jin finishes tucking the gauze in place so that it won’t unravel. 

“We’re gonna do movie night at the dorm tonight. Get some of your stuff, you’re sleeping over again.” 

“Okay?” you say as Jin helps you up, you don’t quite understand the implications of his words. He sighs and presses a kiss to your forehead, explaining, the words soft against your skin as he holds you around your shoulders. His muscles shaking as he holds you firmly but not roughly. Behind you, Yoongi leans his forehead against the cool back of your neck. 

“Because I can’t let you be alone tonight. I won’t get a wink of sleep if you’re not next to me” you almost say that you’ll be good for a few days at least, that you won’t need to cut again for the next few days, maybe more if the severity of this is anything to judge by. But one look at Seokjin steely sad eyes, like he’s telling himself he will not break alongside you has you nodding softly alongside Yoongi. 

Seokjin takes a while to calm down, driving back to the dorm gives him something to think about other than the fact that when he fell asleep you were alright and then by the time he’d woken up you’d already fallen apart. But your hand wrapped in his over the center console is enough to ground him. The gauze wrapped around your wrist poking out from underneath your sleeve.

 In the back seat, Yoongi calls and tries to reschedule the meeting for tomorrow, but then compromise, settling for later tonight. The rappers might not be home by the time you finish the movie but they can at least be there for the beginning of it. And you knew that Hoseok had a meeting with the choreographer and wouldn’t be able to be back until after the meeting at all.

Yoongi sends a short text to the group chat about what happened, it’s a new one, made freshly by Jimin after they all realized that Jungkook, that maybe it was better if he wasn’t in on the conversations of your mental health. The group chat has everyone but Jungkook and you in it. and if feels weird to exclude you both but they all know they need it in order to have real conversations about what’s going on. 

Yoongi (12:27): We’re on our way back to the dorm with Y/n 

Yoongi (12:29): Before anyone asks, she’s okay, but yeah, she cut again. 

Joonie (12:31: I’m going to talk to him. 

Jimin (12:33): Don’t bother, I tried and he ran away to the studio to practice. Hobi and I are following. 

Hope (12:34): I’ll try to talk some sense into him 

Hope (12:34):  She seemed fine this morning

Tae (12:35): Fuck I just woke up

Tae (12:35): I’m so worried 

Hope (12:37): Do you think it’s okay if Jimin and I call her? 

Yoongi (12:38): Yeah I think she’s doing better now. 

Your conversation with Hoseok and Jimin is short, but Jin doesn’t let you let go of his hand on the console. “yeah Hobi I’m alright, Jin and Yoongi they- No I know -I'll do better in the- that’s sweet of you both to say but- No I didn’t mean it like that Jiminie- okay I'll stop the bad self talk.” you suck in on your lower lip, and Yoongi sees you wipe a tear out of the corner of your eyes. 

“I love you too Hoseok, Love you too Jiminie, Don’t work yourself too hard today and drink lots of water!- I’ll probably be asleep when you get home Hobi but yeah, we can totally all go on a date tomorrow. See you in a bit Jiminie” your eyes flicker up to meet Yoongi’s in the rearview mirror and something thick and longing clogs his throat, he can hear Jimin saying something to you through the speaker, “Promise” you say to him, before you end the call. 

Later that night, Jungkook comes in from practicing at the studio to find the kitchen empty. Halfway through the day, Hobi and Jimin had come in to do a little bit of practicing before the choreographer got there. And Hoseok had tried to talk to Jungkook before he’d turned the music up when the elder had started to say, “ Kookie I need to-“ and kept working at the moves to his solo song. 

Hoseok had been pissed and rightfully so. Jungkook could tell by how he danced falling into step beside Jungkook when one of their group songs came on, all of the moves aggressive and nothing easy and fluid like usual. Jungkook had kept practicing until Hoseok had gone to meet with the choreographer, jimin sighing and going home,  glaring at Jungkook before he let the practice room door fall shut with a slam behind him. Hoseok would be there until the rescheduled meeting later that night, the same one that was supposed to be that morning but Jungkook had no obligations.

Why had Yoongi rescheduled? Jungkook didn’t know. It was unusual for Yoongi to cancel meetings. Usually, he was the one making them. Jungkook practices until the early hours of the evening, only going home when the moves aren't getting any better- they’re already perfect Jungkook drops his bag on the floor of the empty kitchen and pushes back the sweaty hair from his forehead as he kicks off his shoes and pours himself a glass of water. 

It’s a little surprising to find no one in the kitchen at this time of night, usually someone would be cooking, usually, you’d be here- helping someone do something with that adorable smile lifting your whole face, the same one that always made he want to kiss you. 

And then you’d look and see Jungkook staring, and he’d see your happiness falter and then come back more strained, less genuine and more tainted. Even though you tried to be happy Jungkook could see the distress lurking in you and it made him feel angry, why where you pretending to be happy? Why couldn’t you just be honest with them? He’d never ever lied to you, and you just lied and lied on the daily. 

Jungkook hears noise coming from the dark living room and goes to investigate, suddenly the lack of dinner makes sense, there are take out containers littering the coffee table and a movie blaring from the TV. Jungkook gets angry again, because it’s one that he’d been waiting to see. They couldn’t go to movie theaters because they stood the chance of being recognized and he remembers vividly discussing how interested he was in the foreign film and how he wanted to wait to watch it in high quality with you- oh.

That’s why no one had told him there was a movie night and take out waiting at home. It was one of their rituals, to pile in all soft and snuggly with each other, especially when one of them wasn’t feeling the best. Because of you. 

You’re wearing a pair of baggy sweat pants and a large pink sweatshirt that swallows your frame in between Taehyung and Seokjin, He recognizes The sweatshirt you’re wearing as one of Jin’s, stolen by you regularly after Jin had spilled soy sauce on the sleeve. 

Your shoulder is tucked underneath Taehyung’s arm; your cheek rest against his chest and your hood up, his arm hung over yours to intertwine with your fingers. The two of you have a weird contrast going on, Tae with his red sweatshirt, hood pulled up and you in the pink. His other hand holds onto Namjoon’s next to him, whose other hand is playing in the back of Taehyung’s overgrown hair. 

Your feet stretch sideways into Seokjin’s lap, though he looks very much asleep His hands resting on your thighs. Yoongi sits with Jimin in-between his legs on the other settee by the window. Yoongi isn’t watching the movie at all, instead, his eyes rest only on you, but Jungkook can see the tell tale signs of sleepiness dragging his eyes down. 

Jimin too, doses in the soft light, blinking sleepily at Jungkook when he notices him standing in the doorway, hovering like he’s unsure if he should join, if they want him to join. 

A movie night, regular and habitual, he hadn’t seen any message about it in the group chat, and the realization that he was left out stings him from his throat to his heart. For the third time today, Jungkook finds himself pissed off.

Before he can make his escape, Jimin says his name, a small strained but sleepy smile and concern coloring his features. At Jimin’s words, everyone looks at him, Taehyung and Yoongi say a sleepy hello and offer him some of the takeouts, Seokjin remains asleep. 

Your eyes flicker to Jungkook’s for a second. You look exhausted, your eyes so empty, more empty than usual. you have none of your strained happiness, none of you’re unsureness, There’s just...nothing.  And instead of smiling, of saying hello, you flinch, actually flinch when you see him staring. You turn yourself into Taehyung’s shoulder to hide your face turning your whole body towards the couch. 

 Taehyung sends Namjoon a worried glance as the question “how was your day?” dies in his throat. Taehyung pulls you more snug against his chest crowding you in, in the way that everyone knows you like best. Biting his lip as he casts a worried glance Jungkook’s way. A look that Jungkook perceives as accusing instead of what it is, which is worried. 

How many times have you told them that you love feeling small and wrapped up? How many times had Jungkook held you tightly? Pressed you against the wall? Because he knows you like to feel pinned in and kept? Knows that you like to feel small? And now you’re turning away from him, hiding, your hands drawn up protectively against your chest. 

“Sorry for interrupting your movie night.” Jungkook says sourly, keeping his voice low so that he doesn't disturb the peace there more than he already has. he turns and walks away before his temper has a chance to rise. But Namjoon jumps up and runs after Jungkook. For a moment Jungkook thinks Namjoon’s going to comfort the youngest, pull him to his chest in the way that Namjoon always does- because he’d always had a soft spot for the youngest even when they where both kids. 

But Namjoon doesn’t pull Jungkook into his embrace, instead, he grabs Jungkook’s wrist, not roughly, but Namjoon’s always been like a big teddy bear, he tries to be gentle but a lot of the time his strength gets away from him. 

“Oh no you don’t- you don’t get to go run to your room after what you said today” it’s not a usual thing for the leader to get so pissed off at the youngest. It only happens when he’s really being an asshole but somehow that knowledge only makes him more bitter. “Jimin told me how you yelled at her.” 

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook spits. 

“Don’t play dumb with me-“

“What happens between the two of us is none of your business, I thought we agreed to not get in the way of each other's fights.” It feels petty reminding Namjoon of the rules that he’d set up when they’d all started their relationship. And Namjoon’s eyes darken as he sucks in his cheeks, jaw tensing. Trying not to let the anger get the best of him. At that moment he’s more leader than a boyfriend. When did things get this way between the two of them? 

“Yeah, but when my girlfriend goes and cuts herself because of how you treat her you can’t expect me not to.” Namjoon’s words cut through Jungkook’s irrational anger like a knife. He stops trying to tug his hand out of Namjoon’s grip. Fuck he didn’t think, he didn’t realize how far he’d pushed you. 

“You mean she… is she okay?” Jungkook almost crumbles under the sudden crashing and destructive wave of guilt, his anger swallowed up by horror. swallows back the guilt. Namjoon huffs, letting Jungkook’s wrist fall,

“Yoongi and Jin went and got her after she ran out this morning, they told me it’s bad, but she won’t even show us. She said she doesn’t want to be in the way of our movie night. Doesn’t that sound familiar?” 

When will you learn to get out of the way, he had screamed at her. Jungkook can’t think through the emotions in his head, the fact that you went and did that because of what he said. “I- I didn’t realize, I thought- I’m so-” Jungkook covers his face with a hand, his shoulders shaking. 

“Jungkookie,” Namjoon places his hand on the youngest shoulder, the darkness of the hallway almost blue in the winter light. “I know that you have trouble with this... whole Thing and that things haven’t been great between the two of you but please- please” Namjoon begs, gritting his teeth and trying not to cry. “Please don’t make it worse. I know it doesn’t seem like she’s trying to get better to you- but she really is- just- I’m not blaming you for her actions- But the things you say are negatively affecting her.”

“I didn’t mean too- I didn’t think that I was-” Jungkook can’t help but stutter.  

“Doing anything other than trying to change her mind? by holding your affection hostage? Yeah, I know.” Yoongi calls Namjoon’s name, and he knows that they have to get going soon to make it to the meeting on time. “I know you weren’t acting with the intent to harm her. If she’s gonna get better- she has to choose it, by herself, for herself, and not because she thinks that will make you happy” Namjoon’s hand lies gently on Jungkook’s shoulder where he stands, half turned to walk away and frozen as his lower lip quivers. The eldest lies his head on Jungkook’s shoulder for a moment, and doesn't say anything more before he pulls away. 

Jungkook’s frozen to the spot as he hears Namjoon’s feet disappear down the hallway. Jungkook listens to him and the chorus of goodbyes as Yoongi and Namjoon leave the apartment, and only when the drone of the movie blares through the hallway does Jungkook’s chest collapse in on itself. 

He shoves his fist in his mouth to stop his sobs from making enough noise to alert the others to the hot tears that carve a path down his cheeks. He stumbles through his blurry vision. Hand groping along the wall trying to find his room, so that he can break down in private, he doesn’t want to take away your support system right now and he knows Jimin would come running when really he should be comforting you. 

You deserve it more than he does.  He locks the door to his bedroom and collapses onto his bed, letting the pillow muffle his sobs. He didn’t believe that he could hurt someone he loved, but he’d hurt you. Jungkook didn’t look down at his hands and see someone vindictive, but he’d kicked you when you were already down today. And it made him feel guilty and disgusting and like the worst boyfriend in the whole world, if you still wanted to be 

Today you hadn’t failed him- today he’d failed you.

You rest your head on Taehyung’s shoulder, trying to stay awake long enough to say Goodnight to Hobi and the others but you don’t think you're going to make it. The rappers are still all at the studio, and a text confirms the fact that they won’t be back till the early hours of the morning. 

Seokjin and Jimin have already gone to bed with the promise that as soon as you and Taehyung want too you’ll join them. The movie you’d wanted to watch for ages has faded though you’d fallen asleep near the end of it and woken up just before Seokjin and Jimin tucked in. 

Kisses on your forehead roused you as Jimin’s plush lips dragged against your skin, a kiss to your forehead, either of your cheeks, nose and lips, his eyelashes tickling your skin. Jimin lifted your left arm and pressed a kiss to just under the gauze, your pulse point beating against his mouth. before softly smiling and kissing you on the mouth, wishing you sweet dreams before seokjin treated you in kind. 

“Jesus you two- making me blush.” you’d said, rubbing your face against Taehyung’s chest to hide your face and smile. Feeling a little better, enough so to tease them into chuckles, Seokjin’s windshield wiper laugh bouncing off the walls. Taehyung’s chest shakes underneath your cheek. 

Now the drama that Taehyung was trying to catch up on blared in the background, a pleasant afterthought, but he wasn’t paying attention to it. His hands smooth out your hair, pulling through the tangles gently. A thumb brushes against your cheek. 

He was looking at you captivated, all his focused narrowed down to you feeling his heart pump full with red shimmery love. Your soft eyes, and your cheek pillowed against his arm, you were so small folded against him, Your body ropey from sleep and the stress of the day that taehyung wishes he knew the remedy too. You look up, attention snagged by Taehyung’s eyes which dont back down in their staring when you catching him watching you. He looks a little sad-happy, melancholy and lost in his thoughts. He swallows thickly but his hands still go up to cup your cheek, guiding your face to his. 

The brush of his lips against yours is soft and achingly gentle. It’s been a few weeks since the last time you were intimate with this particular lover though you know Jungkook drags him into bed more nights than he doesn’t. You don’t let your heart linger on the thoughts of your youngest boyfriend, not now when tae is offering himself up in the most gentle unassuming way he can. Taehyung’s lips are hungry but soft in pressure, ready for you to pull back away and say- not right now because today has been kind of really shitty even if you haven’t given up on it yet.  

But you don’t do anything but kiss back as the passion builds and takes some of the breath from your lungs. It comes rushing out of your pink mouth over his face in warm waves buffering back any lingering tension. His strong hands hold onto the small of your back holding you against him. The thick Pads of his fingers run over the ridges of your spine appreciative and syrup slow. 

Taehyung breaks the kiss abruptly, standing, reaching for the remote. He shuts off the TV plunging the room into darkness, but he tugs you up and through the dark and quiet apartment to his room. Everything is gray in the light of recently fallen night, the lights not yet put on, everything monochrome. His sheets smell like him but you don’t mind at all as Taehyung kisses you again with the lights off. His lips the only available sensation drowning you in their tidely pull, he pushes you gently back onto his bed and when he kisses you again he can feel the smile that stretches your lips as you let him have control over you, let him because this is what you like, this is how you like it. 

At least this he knows. when there are so many other question marks in your relationship. 

His hands trail scaling paths on the skin around your waist. Your fingers scratch against his skull as his hands become hungry making Taehyung moan softly against your mouth.  

But this is still achingly soft and compared to what you’re used too- you’re used to the bite of his hands the nibble of his teeth against your lower lip or your neck, not these trailing sensual and delicate kisses. It works you up faster somehow- maybe because you’re so unused to it. But your breath is heaving. Tae leans up so that you can remove your pants and shimmy them down your waist. He doesn’t eye the square of tapped gauze on the side of your thigh or the fresh cuts that he knows it hides. He heard enough about them from Yoongi earlier. 

The tips of his fingers hook into the waistband of your underwear and pull them down, sliding them over your calves and off slowly, before pressing a kiss to the inside of your ankle. Letting his hands brush over all of you, Taehyung wants to feel every inch of you, even the ones that he can’t touch. That you won’t let him see, not that he’s any better. Looking down at all of you flustered and blushing in the half-light, all of you on display just for him, he feels so lucky. 

lucky, and unsure, but maybe this helps? maybe this is enough? maybe profering up his own intimacy will be enough in exchange for the certainty of knowing you, or maybe it was terrible to think that those things could be exchanged and not given when ready. 

but what else can he offer?

You’re panting even though you’ve barely been touched yet; Taehyung’s eyes are hot and devouring like burning embers on you. You sit up, legs parted to fit his hips in-between, his hands still on either of your ankles. You reach forward, hand brushing against the generous length tenting in his red boxers already fully hard and twitching. The thickness makes your breath heavy as you think back to the many times that length has been inside you. 

“Wait,” he says, your hand just reaching inside his red boxers but not his shirt, never his shirt, because Taehyung never lets anyone see him without a shirt on. He kneels at the edge of the bed, fixing you with an unsure expression, sucking on his lower lip; his hands shake as they tug on the bottom of his red hoodie up. Your hand finds his, stopping him when you realize what he’s about to do. 

“Tae- you don’t have too.”  But he takes it off anyway, something he’d never done- for you or any of your boyfriends in bed. He shakes in the warmth of his bedroom, his shoulders and chest bare to you for the first time. And sure Taehyung has a little tummy and he’s not as toned as some of your other boyfriends but he’s still gorgeous. His soft lines and honey tones make you want to dip your fingers in and find out what the skin tastes like. 

He’s shaking, and you can tell that his comfort is tenuous, but he reaches for you, pulling your arms up around his neck, and your still clothed chest against his bare one. 

The kiss you share is full of so many things- it’s hello and it’s okay all in one and somehow it makes you so sad that Tae is still shaking, that he flinches when your warm palm slides down his neck to his pectoral.  So you keep it there, his heart beating against your fingertips, stampeding towards some end. His hands tremble against you as they slide up under the back of your sweatshirt. 

“Please.” He mutters against your lips as he slides them higher pulling your sweatshirt up slowly, seeing if you’re going to make him pull it back down. “I won’t hide from you if you won’t hide from Me.” he says, and then repeats the earlier, “please.”

And in the darkness- an inch from pitch black you can barely see him and he can barely see you. Your hands reach, equally shaky, as you strip yourself of Jin’s baggy sweatshirt, leaving you in nothing. You feel vulnerable and raw, with Tae’s hungry eyes roaming over you, but then you can feel his warm skin against yours for the first time and it feels amazing.  Taehyung shivers and groans with your warm breasts press against his chest. 

It feels kind of silly now- how long you both denied yourself of this intimate feeling. Taehyung spends full minutes running his hands over the smooth skin of your back, his touch appreciative and exploratory as you touch him too. Sitting cross-legged in-between his. Your core pressed up against this hips. The thin material of his boxers soaking through with your wetness. 

Tae doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of The way that your skin feels pressed against his. Taehyung doesn’t think he’ll ever want to go back, no matter how much it makes him shiver and fear that the words ‘not enough,’ will fall from your lips. Taehyung’s already breathing heavy as he pulls away for a moment to look at your face. 

You look like Tae feels- like you think you don’t deserve this feeling- but loving yourself alongside others is a learning curve and a process. If he shakes with the weight of trying something new you shake with uncertainty too.

“Can I kiss them?” he asks a barely uttered question. You feel the desire more than hear it in his fingertips skipping over the scars and fresh marks under your breasts. Your nipples peak in the air, despite the fact that it feels almost too warm. You don’t say no, but you suck on your lower lip, but your arms move a little bit, covering them a little. Taehyung knows a ‘no’ when he sees it, even though you won’t say it.

but surprisingly “Why do you want to?” you ask. and taehyung feels a little bit of precious surety come back. 

He doesn’t let his eyes linger over the fresh ones because he really doesn’t want to cry right now. His thumbs skim over your sides, the old ridges there gently. “Sometimes it feels like i dont know how to help you, like whatever we’re doing is all wrong, and we can tell it is but we don’t know what else to do. but i’m willing to try new things, to try everything in the hopes that it might make it better.” because taehyung is absolutely petrified that what he can give you, the way that he’s capable of loving you isn’t enough at all to keep you from hurting the way you do. 

and at the same time He’s willing to try everything to try to find something that fits. 

You deliberate again, and then you lift your hands, nodding your permission. Tae leans you back against his bed. Tae’s mouth brushes over some of your scars, the touch soft and barely there. He speaks his next words pressed against them. 

“I don’t love the part of your brain that’s convinced you that you’re all of the bad things you think you are, that you don’t deserve this.” His lips press over the old deep scar underneath your left breast, and then down to the ones that are red and barely healed from a few weeks ago. 

“But I do love the part of your brain that laughs at the small inconveniences that would ruin another person’s day, but i love the way you love me- the way you love all of us. it’s so beautiful and i’m so glad that i get to see it. We get caught up in it and get careless- being in love makes people careless because of how consuming it is. And i’m so scared cuz i know love isn’t enough. I love every inch of you- except the part of you that makes you do this, but even then I-“ 

“Tae,” you say, your hand covering his cheek, “you don’t have to say these things.” He rests his forehead against yours.  

“But I want too, I want to tell you why I love you with your flaws and not despite them so that you stop thinking that love is like a scale for me. There are no cons that could out way the fact that I love you and that when it comes down to it I will always want you here, next to me, and safe. I want to tell you because if you understand, maybe you’ll stop thinking that leaving me, leaving us, is the best thing you could do. Because it’s not- it’s actually the worst.”  

“All i want is for you to be happy and i have no idea how to make that happen accept for trial and error, and as much as i hate it- i’m so scared,” Your kiss is tentative and filled with so much warmth and tenderness, an earth shattering and heart-rending love that fills you up so much you almost feel like you’ll choke. 

But still- it kind of makes you hopes you can at least try to get better one day. Even if recovery is a word you’re not even close to thinking about let alone trying to implement. You tug your own mouth down Tae’s chest, and press a gentle kiss to his collarbones, Tae’s sensitive spot is usually his ears and the spot just behind them, But he shivers because he knows you’re going to go lower.

Your kisses are tentative but warm in the darkness, and you don’t feel the need to say the same things that Taehyung does but he gets the picture, you love every inch of him the same way that he loves every inch of you and his showing you by kissing and running your hands across every inch, but not too quickly, but slowly so that he knows where you’re going and doesn’t have a chance to get overwhelmed. 

you go slowly, but why does it feel like time is running out?

Though the sex that night wasn’t the best you’d had, for either of you, it made you happy and calm in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Tae doesn’t even make to tug back on his sweatshirt after you’re done, instead holding you close. you don’t mind that he falls asleep before you do. 

A few days later, Tae walks into the kitchen shirtless and actually makes Jin flip a pancake onto the floor. Namjoon knocked over a chair, and Tae fights the urge to cover up as he slides next to you, your warm hand on his thigh is enough as he looks down, stifling the flush that blossoms on his cheekbones and refuses to meet their stares. Jiminie slings his arms around his shoulders and presses a kiss to his shoulder. Wordless praise that Taehyung needs.  

His lovers don’t mention anything about his choices, though he catches Namjoon sending you a proud expression- who knows maybe you’d told him about the other night. But none of them shy away. He doesn’t catch any of them giving him expressions of disgust none of them hiss that he should cover up. And though he does pull on a shirt after he’s done with breakfast, the day feels like a victory for everyone. 

The day is a victory, even if the others are slow in coming, you hope there are more after that.

(Please comment and reblog! Likes are nice, but they do little to support content creators!)

[btsismy6thkink]

BTS REACTIONS: You being stressed over exams

Requested: Nah, but seeing as i’m in the middle of an exam i felt it was fitting :P

Disclaimer: Nahh not really, some are more smut than others but mostly fluff, i will put a little * at the ones with smut in it.

Jin:

Jin looked over at you sitting on the floor of the living room having built a fence of books making it hard for him to come near you. This was on purpose because you knew Jin would try and distract you in anyway shape or form but right now you regretted it. You wanted to just relax especially since you had been studying for your exam and writing for the past 29 hours literally only having 3 breaks and you were basically looking like a zombie at this point.

Jin jumped over the fence of books before planting him behind you putting his head on one of your shoulders, “lets eat, you haven't eaten much”. “Jinnie i can’t i have this exam I'm trying to finish.” you sighed reading some more, “i will feed it to you if you just chew it and swallow?” you sighed deeply in frustration throwing your one book as far away as you possibly could making Jin laugh because it was only about 1 meter away. “See you need strength i will cook you dinner and feed you” this time he didn't give you a choice, he had already jumped up and walked to the kitchen making you smile at how cute you boyfriend is.

Yoongi*:

Yoongi came into to the bedroom after a long day producing, he enjoyed it but he also enjoyed the attention you always gave him when you walked into the bedroom after a long day, only problem he couldn't find you anywhere. Confused as to where you could be, he decided to just yell for you, hearing a muffled yes from the closet. He walked slowly over to it opening it up, meeting you sitting in darkness with only your computer as your light. “Exams?” he looked at you questioning if this was why you had planted yourself in the closet. “Yeah i have until tomorrow to finish” you said still writing hoping he would just leave, but you weren't surprised that it took him more than just a simple excuse leave you alone. “Are you almost done though?” you looked up at him when he asked this rolling your eyes, “Yes babe but i need to proof read it so be patient little grasshopper.”

This was the last straw suddenly Yoongi had lifted you up from the ground and over one of his shoulders smacking your nearly naked butt. “Be a good girl and help Daddy relax.” He said throwing you onto your shared bed. He unbuckled his belt and let his jeans come off in one movement. “I don't got all night” he looked at you with his ‘daddy’ eyes meaning if you didn't obey you wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow and honestly even if you weren't feeling having sex right now sucking your hard boyfriend off was not the worst thing in the world.

A/N if you want something more detailed? idk just let me know but i also don't want to make them too long so just let me know and i can make a smut for each of the boys ??

J-Hope:

Hoseok HATED when you didn't have a good time when he was around meaning, when you were in the middle of a mental breakdown writing your exam paper he walked over to you and began to tickle you. This worked on so many levels not only did you find it hot but also you loved seeing your boyfriend laugh as you laughed being tickled. He pulled away when you were dying from laughter and he though enough was enough, “so movie and kimchi?” he looked at you with hopeful eyes knowing your answer would more likely be ‘no i need to finish’ but to his surprise you smiled at him while nodding your head looking like a happy toddler who got a piece of chocolate before dinner. “Thank you Hobi, you're amazing.”

Namjoon*:

Namjoon looked over at you every once in a while, it was his day off but you had to make your exam assignment meaning you doing what you needed and Joon sitting close by reading a book of his own however he was don't with this. He knew you needed a break and he sure needed a break from you just sitting there all innocent as if you didn't know it turned him on anytime you were near him.

He walked over to you closing you computer making you let out a soft whine before he grabbed the book you had been taking your information from and throwing it to the side before leading you to the bed and pushing you onto it. “Now baby girl, i will help you relax but you better make it up to me after this.” He separated your legs removing your panties before doing what he was there to do.

Jimin:

Jimin had now been patient, he had been wanting to spend time with you all day and seeing you look stressed out didn't help him from leaving you alone. So he thought about all of the way in which he could help you stress down and for some reason one specific thing came to mind. He walked over to you picking you up from your seat on the bed bridal style not answering your questions where you were going. He carried you up some stairs after leaving the apartment and appearing in front of a metal door having to put you down to unlock it.

“You know that you’ve been working since 7 this morning and its 1 in the morning now right?” He looked at you hoping you would say you didn't notice, which in fact was what you said making him smile a little. Just knowing you didn't ignore him on purpose made him feel more confident in his choice of distraction. He walked out onto the rooftop smiling at you still in the doorframe. “Let look at the stars, you can see some up here when its just right” You walked over to him, not saying anything but just hugging him tightly because you just loved him that much more for distracting you with this romantic gesture.

Taehyung:

Tae didn't like distracting you when you were finally doing something, you tended to not have the best attention span as he knew making him barely breath whenever you started doing things like exams or studying in general but at the same time he could see how stressed you seemed but he didn't want to be the one distracting you, making him need to use his secret weapon. He walked into his bedroom and coming out just as quickly with Yeontan running after him and over to you sitting on your computer as you were already sitting on the floor. You couldn't help but laugh, knowing this was Tae’s plan you just decided to enjoy the adorable puppy in front of you. You kissed the top of his head as you turned to tae blowing a kiss at him not wanting to get off the ground in case Yeontan would feel the need to move away from you. “Lets walk him yeah?” Tae asked knowing your answer by how much you loved the ball of fur.

Jungkook:

You had been writing your exam all day, and had finally send it off leaving you an anxious mess because you didn't think it was good enough. However your boyfriend having a different idea in his head just cuddled you closer to him as you were already in bed. “stop thinking y/n” he muttered into the crook of your neck. You sighed know he was right but still, you did overthink everything, “make me fall asleep then?” you closed your eyes knowing he would only have one thing to do. Which as predicted ended up with him singing spring day as it was your favourite for him to sing when you wanted to relax.

[sugaabooga]

Parties and Apples

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Christmas

Summary/Extra: Christmas Package #2! What happens when you experience an odd first meeting with Jungkook at the grocery store, then see him at a Christmas party?

“Jungkook-ah! Go buy some fruit!” Jin calls from the kitchen.

Jungkook groans. “Why me?”

“Because it’s you or Yoongi! And I don’t think it should be Yoongi!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and reluctantly detaches himself from the comfort of the couch. If it were anyone else besides Yoongi, Jungkook would’ve made them go instead of himself, but Yoongi was probably sleeping and Jungkook didn’t want to wake him up. Who knows what would happen if Yoongi was woken up from his well-needed sleep?

Jungkook stretches shortly before looking out the window.

It was snowing. Hard.

“Uh… Hyung? Are you sure you want me to go right now?” Jungkook slightly smirks, knowing Jin would never let him go out in this kind of weather.

Jin looks up from the cutting board and glances out the window Jungkook was standing next to.

He shrugs. “Put on some warm clothes and head out. It’s just windy.”

Jungkook’s mouth drops open in shock. He stands still, next to the flashing Christmas tree with several gift boxes scattered underneath for a few moments until Jin yells at him to hurry up.

Jungkook sighs and heads into his room to change into a hoodie, thick jacket, beanie, and some sweatpants that would match with his Timberlands. Before he heads out of the apartment, currently lived in by seven loud, young men, Jungkook grabs a pair of gloves from the counter and waves Jin a bitter goodbye.

As Jungkook steps out of the apartment building, his nose immediately scrunches up as the sharp, dart-like snowflakes hit his cheeks. Jungkook shoves his hands into his pockets and sprints to the nearest grocery store, which was just a few blocks away.

When he steps into the market, he sighs in content of how warm it was.

Jungkook quickly makes his way over to the fruit section and half-heartedly grabs a couple of apples, not minding if they were bruised or mushed.

“This should be enough, right?” he mutters as he looks at the overflowing bag of the eight apples he had chosen. He shrugs then skips over to the registers, but stops in the front of the aisle with snacks lined up on each side. His eyes shine bright with pure joy at the seemingly endless rows of chip bags.

Jungkook hums as he carefully takes a look at the banana-flavored snacks, when he suddenly feels less weight in his hands and hears tumbling noises. He looks down and notices all the apples have ripped through the bag. He groans and quickly moves to pick them up, but notices two of them have rolled towards you at the opposite side of him. Jungkook slightly jogs and leans forward to grab the apple, when he feels his legs give out from under him.

He lets out a strangled noise as he falls onto the floor. Jungkook starts to get up when he notices the girl, that was standing a few meters away from him earlier, on the ground next to him. He must’ve knocked you over with him.

“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Jungkook reaches out a hand to you and offers an uneasy smile.

You get up on your feet, unaware of his hand that was waiting for you to grab. You try to offer the same cute smile he had on his face, but it turns into more of a grimace.

“No...It’s fine,” you say as you hand back an apple that was next to your feet. You slightly bow and quickly make your way o u t  o f  t h e r e.

You were not very outgoing and your first impressions were not the best. You had a slight RBF and seemed very unfriendly, since you just weren’t much of a talker.

After you had left, Jungkook scratches the back of his head in confusion. That interaction was pretty awkward and you had made him feel like he had done something wrong. He shrugs, since he wasn’t even going to see you again for the rest of his life.

As soon as Jungkook steps through the door of his apartment, he gets hit in the chest with a pair of slippers. He looks up and sees an object hurling towards his eye. Jungkook immediately lets out a small noise and covers his eye with his hand.

“SHOOT! JUNGKOOK! ARE YOU OKAY!?” Jimin screams.

Jungkook manages to nod and waves Jimin and Taehyung away. “I-I’m fine.”

Namjoon clumsily runs out of his room and groans. “What do we do!? The party’s in two days! And Jungkook’s going to be singing! He can’t have a black eye!”

Jungkook widens his eyes. He had totally forgotten about the Christmas party they were going to throw for themselves and other close friends. Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jin were planning to bring their girlfriends too.

Before Jungkook can even have a mental breakdown, Jin helps him out of his layers and layers of jackets, drags him to the couch, and lays an ice pack on his eye.

“Aish….. Taehyung’s girlfriend is really judgemental too!” Namjoon adds.

Taehyung gasps. “EXCUSE ME!? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW YEJIN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND NICEST WOMAN I HAVE EVER MET IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!”

Taehyung’s friends shake their heads and snickers at Taehyung.

“Watch them break up in a few weeks,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, making a small smile grace Jungkook’s face.

“I’ll be fine. I can just perform with a hurt eye. It’s not like we’re going to go to Hongdae anyway,” Jungkook attempts to reassure.

The rest are somewhat comforted by the youngest’s words and leave him to rest on the couch.

Jungkook stares at the Christmas tree and moves his gaze to the snow outside. He couldn’t help but think of the girl from earlier. Why was he so intrigued by her? She wasn’t that special. Jungkook falls asleep on the comfortable couch, dreaming of a nameless girl, holding his hands and dancing in the snow.

“Namjoon. I already told you! I’m not going to go,” you protest to your older friend that you had befriended while working at a restaurant a few months back.

“Y/N!! You have to! I live with this guy that’s the same age as you and I really want you guys to meet,” Namjoon tries to convince.

You roll your eyes. “Another guy!? Why are you trying to set me up with this guy? You’ve been talking about him ever since we’ve become friends.”

“I can already feel the certainty that the two of you are going to be the perfect match. Besides, we both know you don’t want to end up living alone with ten cats.”

You sigh. Namjoon had a point. “What…...What time?”

You can feel Namjoon’s triumphant grin through your phone’s speaker.

“6pm.Oh and just a warning. He got a black eye today, so don’t be freaked out if a part of his face his all purple.”

Jungkook wipes his sweat away from his forehead as he braces himself once more to lift the small stage.

“......so Hobi, you can come in through the right side then the three of us will join to do the short Christmas rap,” Namjoon instructs. “And someone please help Jungkook.”

Jimin and Jin help Jungkook to organize the stage and move all the things needed to amplify the sound, onto the stage.

Jin hurries around the house to clean the apartment and cook food to feed 20 people. As all seven are running around the house to prepare for the party for their friends and girlfriends, the time quickly passes and soon it is 30 minutes till six.

“Yah! I need some help!” Jin shouts from the kitchen. All but Yoongi, who was still trying to figure out how to work the speakers, rush over to the kitchen to help Jin set everything up on the counter. Surprisingly, everything managed to fit.

The stage fit perfectly, after the TV was moved into Hoseok’s room, the small speakers hung from the wall incredibly well, and all the food was able to fit on the long counter that was attached to the sink. All the young men fall into tired silence when Namjoon suddenly adds in, “Oh I forgot to tell you guys, but I invited my friend Y/N.”

Everyone widens their eyes.

“A GIRL!?” Taehyung and Hoseok screams.

“Y/N’S A GIRL’S NAME!” Jimin yells.

“The girl who worked at the restuarant with you?” Yoongi asks, calmly.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE!? WHAT IF WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH FOOD!?” Jin freaks.

Namjoon nods at Yoongi’s question and quiets the others. “Calm down guys. And Jin hyung, one person doesn’t make much of a difference.” Namjoon then rolls his eyes at Jimin and Taehyung. “And for your information, it’s not like she’s my girlfriend or whatever, okay?” 

Jungkook could care less about the situation, but questioningly looks at Namjoon when he stares at him with a suspicious look in his eye.

The doorbell rings a few times, signaling that someone has arrived. The party has begun.

“Freaking Namjoon,” you mutter under your breath as you walk to the apartment where the said party was taking place. You shiver and pull your coat closer to your body and redo your scarf for the nth time.

You weren’t exactly nervous, but you were scared to go to a party. You grew slightly anxious when met with the sight of a crowd of people you didn’t know. You tried not to think of how it would feel when met with the sight of nineteen other people you had never met in your life.

You were standing in front of the closed door way quicker than you had wanted to. You took in a breath and rang the doorbell. The door opened right as you pressed the bell, like someone had been waiting for a doorbell ring.

You looked up from your scarf to be met with round, rather familiar doe-like eyes, a circle of purple outlining one of them. You were wondering where you had seen this man. He seemed so familiar. The bright eyes, thin lips slightly curved up in a tiny smirk, round cheeks….

“Oh!” you suddenly shout, scaring him and you. Jungkook’s wide eyes turn wider (if possible) and he looks at you knowingly. It was you. The girl that he, for some reason, couldn’t stop thinking about for the past week.

He had only seen you once, but he remembered your small frame and all your features from both that day at the store and from his dreams.

“Yes…?” he asks, expectantly.

“Are you the guy Namjoon wanted to hook me up with?”

Jungkook sighs in disappointment. Of course you wouldn’t remember him. You had barely seen him and obviously you didn’t take as much interest in him as he had done to you.

“Uh….I don’t know…? Namjoonie-hyung didn’t tell me anything about that.”

You gestured to his eye. “He told me the guy had a black eye.”

Jungkook stands still at the doorframe, unknowingly blocking you from coming inside the apartment.

Why were you so different? The other day, you had even ignored Jungkook’s hand that was stretched out towards you, but now, you were suddenly so open and direct.

“Then that must be me,” Jungkook slightly laughs then realizes you were still standing out in the cold. He immediately apologizes and gets out of the way to let you in.

That’s when you remember him.

“The apple dude,” you murmur.

“Hmm?” Jungkook tilts his head.

You quickly shake your head and you’re suddenly the girl that Jungkook had first seen at the grocery store. “Uh...Um….”

“Y/N!”

You look up relieved at the sight of Namjoon with a wide smile, running to you with arms open.

“You made it!” Namjoon gives you a short hug then looks over at Jungkook.

“I see you two have already met!”

Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest. “Hyung. What-”

“I called this amazing girl here today because I thought the two of you would fit perfectly with each other. You guys have pretty similar personalities!” Namjoon grins. 

He sure was determined to set the two of you up.

“Joon!” Namjoon’s friend, Jackson calls over the loud Christmas music.

“Oop! I’ll be right back. Get comfortable!” Namjoon pats your shoulder before leaving.

You awkwardly stand until Jungkook decides to be the first one to speak up for the first ever time in anything social.

“D-Do you want anything to drink?”

In just a few hours, your coat and scarf hung on a chair near the door and you were currently laughing hysterically at Jungkook’s story on the patio.

You wipe away a fake tear and give him a wide grin. “I think Namjoon actually was right this time.”

“Hmm?”

You turn to face him with the happiest grin Jungkook had ever seen in his life.

“There were times…. Many times when Namjoon would say how I would match with a guy. One of them being Jackson who’s currently having the time of his life.”

Right then, a loud WHOOP is heard from inside. The two of you break out into laughter.

“But Namjoon was never right,” you continue. “Until now. I think it’s a good thing that I came.”

Jungkook smiles, resembling a bunny, you had taken note. “Same here. Today wouldn’t have been so fun without you.”

You smile and look out to the rest of the city. People were having parties, dates, and spending their last hours of Christmas with their loved ones. 

It was nice.

“We had met before, right?” you ask as you take a small sip of the apple cider in your hands.

Jungkook looks at you in shock. “Y-You remember?”

You nod and chuckles. “You were the guy that ran me over while picking up apples. How could I forget?”

Jungkook breaks out into a nervous chuckle. “Yeah… Sorry about that. I didn’t know you remembered, so I didn’t bring it up.”

“Fair enough.”

It becomes silent once more, but rather than the awkward silence it had been a couple of hours earlier, this one was comfortable. 

You look up at the sky.

“Wow,” you breath out. “As cheesy it may sound, the stars look brighter tonight.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook sighs as he looks at you with pure adoration and amazement in his eyes. You were breathtaking under the moonless night with the light of the stars being reflected in your eyes. “They’re beautiful.”

You turn your head to meet Jungkook’s sincere eyes. You don’t feel sensual tension between the two of you like you had with previous guys. Instead, you feel every emotion in its purest form. Innocence. It was a type of connection that you didn’t want to break. It couldn’t….shouldn’t be broken by the evil of the world.

Jungkook hesitates, then opens his mouth. “Y/N. I-”

“Oh! There you two are!”

You frown as Namjoon and Jimin come out onto the patio, interrupting whatever Jungkook was about to say.

Jungkook’s expression mirrors yours, frowning in disappointment.

“The performance is going to start and we kind of need our vocal,” Jimin winks.

“Ew hyung. Stop.” Jungkook pushes Jimin away and shoos the two men away. “I’ll be there in a few.”

Jungkook sighs and shakes his head and you giggle at his cute reaction towards his older friends.

“I have to tell you something,” Jungkook straightens up, making you look up with curiosity. “But….. I’ll tell you after the performance!”

He playfully says as you groan.

Jungkook carefully takes your wrist and drags you back in the house and seats you in the chair at the back. “Look for me!” he waves as he heads to the back to prepare for the special Christmas stage he and his friends had worked on for over five months.

You lean against the side of the chair and comfortably position yourself so you had a perfect view of the whole stage.

Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi come up on the stage first and you let out short cheers during their short, but impactful rap about their hardships everyday, but how Christmas comes along to end it for a short moment.

Next, Jimin, Hoseok, and Jungkook come up on stage and perform a cute dance to parts of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Let it Snow. You don’t think you’ve ever been so hyped for someone dancing. Especially to cute things. 

The third stage was Taehyung and Jin singing All I Want For Christmas is You. You watch as two girls, closest to the small stage, grin and clap excitedly for the pair.

They must be their girlfriends.

After a couple of more Christmas based stages, all seven of them come up on stage and announce how this will be their last song and after this, everyone should start packing up and go home.

You stand up and head to the counter to grab a cookie before they start. When the song starts, you can’t help but have a smile creep up your face.

It was the classic Christmas song that has everyone in the Christmas mood, Last Christmas.

As Jungkook starts to sing, you feel your breath catch in your throat. His voice was so soft and angelic. He said every word, every lyric with such genuine emotions that you felt that maybe he had given someone his heart, but they had taken advantage of him and tossed his feelings away. 

You couldn’t help but feel Jungkook had his eyes on you the whole entire song.

But maybe it was just you feeling that way. He could’ve been looking at the pastries that were almost untouched on the counter in the back.

As the song ends, the 13 people and you cheer loudly. Some go on the stage to smother them in hugs.

You think of going too, but then again, you didn’t really talk to anyone this whole party, finding comfort in Jungkook’s presence and spending the entire night on the patio talking about life. 

You swirl your cup, now filled with hot chocolate, out of nervous habit. Jungkook was still on the stage, but instead of interacting with the ones around him, he was looking back at you with a lovestruck expression on his face.

As soon as he makes eye contact with you, his smile grows wider and he makes his way down the steps. He jogs up to where you were and you immediately tell him how great all the performances were.

“Which one did you like best?” Jungkook asks with genuine curiosity.

“Hmm… Maybe the last one, since Last Christmas has always been my favorite Christmas song. It sounded better when you guys were performing it! You’re really good at singing! I didn’t know you were such a great singer!”

Jungkook shyly grins. “Thanks....”

You don’t say anything after and the two of you fall back into silence once again, just gazing at each other with bright eyes that spoke more words than you could ever say in your lifetime.

Jungkook breaks the silence. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you tilt your head.

“Look up.”

You glance up, but even before processing that you were standing under the mistletoe for over five minutes with the man you had grown feeling for over such a short time, you feel Jungkook’s plush lips against your own.

It was a simple, small kiss that put you in pure bliss.

When the two of you break apart, Jungkook’s bunny smile reappears.

“About what I was going to say earlier…..” Jungkook suddenly turns shy. “I was going to say, I think I fell for you from the first time I saw you.”

You barely contain your excitement at his words and pinch yourself to calm yourself down.

“And I think I just fell harder for you after spending the whole night with you, today.”

Jungkook glances at your expression and nervously twiddled with his fingers. “I-I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I can totally understand, since we’ve only talked today and met each other two days ago, but I just found myself really wondering about you and I couldn’t help but feel-”

You gently place your hands on his shoulders and give him a small peck. “Stop your rambling, Jungkook!”

He immediately turns red.

“The feelings are mutual.”

“By the way, how’d you get that black eye?”

[bts-is-my-life-as-always]

Bts gif reaction to their s/o self harm scars.

Request: Anyways, I was wondering if you could write a reaction of the boys reacting to those kinda scars on their s/o? Because I’m very insecure about my scars and am afraid that they scare people away and I will never be accepted with them. :( Thanks in advance! It would mean the world!

(Credits to gif owners)

-Trigger warning-

First of all I would like to express once again how brave you are if you are able to live through life with all the hardships that you face, you are all beautiful no matter what, and I am sure that bts would not mind the scars that you bare on your body, they are really understanding and that’s why I love them so much, because they will never judge someone of their past or pain, I really hope this reaction can make you feel just the slightest bit better, because I know just as much as many armys, or anyone out there Just how you feel and if you need anyone to talk to I am here, I love you all, and I do not take any of you for granted.

Thank you.

Rapmon:

When rapmon first laid his eyes on you, he thought you were the most beautiful and the most powerful women he’d ever met, and he continued to think like that even when you revealed to him of your past, your scars, you were so scared to tell him, but he was determined to find out about what hurt you, and why sometimes you’d always try to bring yourself down, when in his eyes, you were the only gem and the only person that mattered to him, when you were chocking on your words, trying to explain what happened, he’d just silently hug you, protecting you from your own feelings,

“I’m here now, and I’ll never leave your side, your so beautiful in my eyes, don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me, I’m here always”

Jin:

He first saw them when he walked into you getting changed on accident, and all he remembered was how you screamed at him out of the blue, you were fully clothed only you were wearing shorts, and then the second time, he really didn’t mean to, he just had a habit of living with 6 other guys which meant that he didn’t really see the need to knock, this time he didn’t walk out, this time he just stared at you questioning why you were so shocked when you were fully dressed, the only thing that showed was your legs, then he realised the scars, he would step closer to you trying to take a closer look, he’d question,

“Y/n? What is that on your leg? Are those scars?” But as soon as he saw you breakdown and sobbing chocking up how he shouldn’t have seen that, he’d caress you into a hug, and he’d whisper,

“Everyone has their own story, and to some their story is there forever, yours is in a form of a scar, it’s part of you and I’ll love it like I love you, don’t hide away from me”

Suga:

(Out of everyone in bts, suga has probably been through the hardest time, not saying that the others didn’t, but from what we know, his parents weren’t all that supportive in the beginning when he needed them the most, we also know that he’s been in depression, and from what I can tell you, and my experience no one can ever cure depression, just help it subside away)

He’d probably open to you about his worries, and when he feels like his depression is coming back to him, he’d want you to make him feel better, so when he’s bringing himself down, or shutting himself in one place, you’d always drag him out, and show him where the light is, so he wouldn’t suspect your past, until he saw the scar of where you used to cut and pick at the scabs, he’d just hold you and whisper,

“Your so brave, I’ll listen to you like you listened to me, let’s be each other’s pillar, I’ll always hold you up”

Jhope:

(I have a slight feeling that Jhope also went through depression, I’m literally just stating my opinion, I know that the whole of bts probably has at one point, but I think hobi would’ve gone through it like suga, took it quite hard)

Hobi knew more than anyone the feeling of depression, how lonely it could get, and how the thought of suicide was so tempting to him, he remembered back to how he used to get through it, he’d just dance and listen to music, and try to forget everything, and when he saw a similar image from you, he’d find it hard to question you, only because he didn’t want to see you breakdown, but when you literally refused to talk to anyone because you were slowly falling back into depression without meaning to, he’d talk to you, even if it feels annoying at that time, he’d just have you spill it all out, and you’d naturally trust him enough to show him your scars, which he’ll just caress and place light kisses onto

“Thank you for trusting me enough to spill all your feelings, I will never leave you, I will never ever hurt you, you are beautiful in my eyes”

Jimin:

Jimin would have a slight idea, like when he was lifting you up to take you to bed because you fell asleep, and when your sleeve slightly rose up and he went to take a look at your wrist, you jolted awake and covered yourself and distanced yourself, since that day, you’d spoken less and less to him, scared that he might think differently of you, what you didn’t expect was for him to confront you about it, the usual you with extreme anxiety that he’d never seen before came out and you were having a full blown breakdown in front of him, he’d be worried out of his mind and cradle you while you spilled everything to him and cried together,

“You didn’t have to hid away from me, I would never judge or degrade you for something like that, I love you”

V:

Tae would feel absolutely devastated, we know how he’s been through a lot of deaths of people around him and close to him, he’d have a difficult time trying to process that you could’ve been one of them, and that he could’ve potentially never met you, and he’d cry and cry into you, and somehow him crying would sooth your pain, just knowing that someone would cry for you, and someone would’ve been in real pain if you were gone, made you (as morbid as it sounds) feel better, he’d just cradle into you, his heart hurting more than anything that someone could make you feel that way

“Tell me if anyone, I mean anyone ever says something like that to you, I will find each and everyone of them and ask them why, and how they could do something like that”

Jungkook:

It’s hard to remember a childhood that never really existed, you constantly tried so hard to please everyone around you, hoping and wishing that you weren’t that different to the other kids, it was hard, moving from one country to another, and then moving from one town to another, soon each and every friend that you made, you were sure hated you, the constant moving just made you not want to make friends anymore, why do that when all that’s going to happen is you move away, and you never speak to them ever again, so you spent your childhood locked away, you first didn’t know what this was, in fact you had no idea that you were ill, you had no idea you were mentally sick, you always sat in the corner of the room tucked away, and slowly crying yourself to sleep, soon you found your second home to be music, you dove yourself into music, loving the sensation of being enclosed and to yourself, you couldn’t hear anyone, and no one had to hear you cry, but before music existed, you found other ways to take the pain away, like falling over on your knees on hard concrete just so the physical pain would wash over the mental pain, the scars were still there over the past few years, and you couldn’t help but notice that it was quite ugly, each and every time you wore skirts or dresses you hated your legs being shown, so you hid them, jungkook always noticed how you hid your legs, it sounded stupid but he’d never ever seen your legs, so when he came by unexpected you almost hid your whole body away from him, not wanting him to see any of it, but jungkook being jungkook he hugged you as soon as he opened the door, and sat you straight down on the couch and cuddled into you, as soon as he felt you relax just a little from his touch, he would realise how your legs were on full display this time, he’d tilt his head slightly, looking over every detail of your legs, intrigued since he’s never seen them before, but as he landed on the scar on your knees, he knew instantly that they would’ve meant so much to you, and he knew how its story would be a hard one to tell, so he just caressed them with his hands, and whispered,

“You legs are beautiful, can’t believe I haven’t seen them until now, you can tell me about this beautiful scar later, I just missed you so much”

A lot of you have been opening up to me, and telling me about your hardest times in life, and remember, I’m always here if you need, and every soul is beautiful, every single one of you in so precious, and I don’t want to loose any of you, never, so I’m always here, love you all again, and don’t give up, ever.

[duyxjpg]

LOVELY MESS  pt. 2  [BTS AU]

BTS!COLLEGE STUDENTS × READER!COLLEGE STUDENT

PART 1 

Okok let's get going. Meanwhile the boys are arguing over the new rules in the house you are having some intern crises, which means:

You: *throws herself at her bed and screams silently* (yes u scream silently bc u r that psycho) anywayssss

You are like dafaq they thought I am a boy???!?!?!? Omg what if they don't want me in their house? What if I am bothering them all??!,!

Your mood: plz kill me already *pulls her hair* *facepalms* "okok calm down Y/N you got this" 

Also you: *opens window and looks down and thinks whether to jump or not* *gurl pls calm tf down*

Well after having 63839202 mental breakdowns you decide to go down and introduce yourself properly. And you also want to know if they are really OK with u living with them (for now). While you are going down u try to remember their names you are like:

"Wait who was who again" *sweats nervously*

"Great, fucking great" you think. Okok you got this.

The one who glared at me was Min Yoongi. *You would never forget his name, your dead ass is scared of him*

Wait who was the one smiling brighter than the sun? Well his nickname was Hobi so you would call him like that.

The one who didn’t even looked at your direction and completely ignored you was something like Kookie. You would just make sure that he is the “Kookie guy”. Okok next one the one who told u they didn’t expect you was Jin and the other one who said that they thought u r a boy was Tae? You hoped so and cursed why you choose a dorm, where too many ppl were living together. Then you cursed at yourself for not remembering their names properly.

*goes back to her room before facing them*, bc you need to make sure that you remember the names of your new dorm mates*

Thinks harder. The one who got dimples deeper than the ocean was something like Joon you guessed and finally the last one who had very intense glare was Jimin. You go girl you are not that bad at remembering their names.

So once again you go out of your room and this time you really really go down. As soon as you reach the kitchen you see seven boys staring at you like u r not a human being. *cringes internally bc they are all handsome af*

You: *stands in front of the kitchen and stares at them almost forgetting how to breath*

YG: “We were about to call you over for dinner” *smiles akwardly* sure min yoon gi just don’t be so obvious tbh

You: *is somehow terrified of this boy bc ?????????????* 

SJ: “C’mere we have so much to talk about and I cooked you need to eat” *there is almost no food left bc of him* 

You: *smiles sweetly* “So what are we eating?” *looks at Tae”

TH: *middle of eating* *blanks out* 

You: *looks at guks* 

JK: *not even ttying to hide the fact that he avoids you like no tomorrow* 

You: *blinks a few times* thinks= why dafaq is he avoiding meeeeeee???

JM: *notices your look at Jungkook* *laughes* and tries to explain through his laughter* 

You: *is startled from his sudden outburst* 

JM: “Don’t take it personal Y/N. It isn’t about you, well it is but it is not! Well he is afraid of all female.” *continuous to laugh* 

BTS: *joins Jimin* VS *an not amused Jungkook* 

PS you are still standing middle of the kitchen LOLOoOOl poor you  

NJ: “Don’t be brats already let her live, Y/N c’mon sit down” *shows his deep ass dimples* 

You: *smiles and sits down as said* you are such a lucky bitch srsly tbh

HS: *judges other members and then looks at you and smiles brightly* 

HS: “So let’s start eating and actually make a real talk, we don’t know each other yet!” wellllllll he got his point tbh

YOU: “True let’s talk” *is nervous af* 

TH: *looks weirdly at you guys* 

TH: “I have an idea” 

You: thinks -dafaq is wrong with this ppl? Did I accidentally end up in a mental institution ??- kkk bitch say whaaat? 

JK: *knows exactly what goes through Taes mind* *looks at you* 

JK: “Let’s play truth or dare” *laughs evilly internally* 

BTS: *all nod in agreement* 

You: *gulps and smiles nervously* U R SO DEAAAAAD BEAATCH  

KK I hope you guys have fun reading my AU bc I am having fun creating it! Well well if you want more just let me knooow~~~~  

[okiekp13]

To the Stars 10

I want to say sorry folks for the long ass wait; I have recently moved and could not find the teime to write like I wanted too. Please enjoy!

Chapter 10

Hushed voices reached your ears; it was warm you noticed, no longer were you out in the snow. However, the dull ache and pains from being tossed from your shuttle like a rag doll were still present. You could feel blankets that weighed heavily on top of you; it was getting hot under them making you sweat. Try as you might move it was a feeble effort; barely able to crack open an eye you could see the blurry silhouettes of two people talking but couldn’t make them out.

“It is nostalgic having you home Jimin, and to bring such galactic garbage with you too.” A woman’s curt tone reached your ears.

“Eomma I took care of them didn’t I? Besides, they were following her; she had been a bit reckless to save Jungkook.”

“You wish to scold her when she wakes after she put her life on the line to save his sorry self? He should have been more vigilant and protected her; when will you boys stop acting like children and protect your own?” The woman spoke hotly.

“Eomma...we are all safe now that's all that matters.”

“When were you going to mention she is your mate?”

“I...uh...well.”

“Mmhmm thought so. She will come around soon; go look after the human before he has a heart attack.” The woman ushered him out.

If you had the strength you would have smiled at the exchange; you were safe and that lifted a great weight off your chest. Yoongi must have been worried sick you thought; you would have to get up soon to see him...yet the warmth and weight of the blankets lulled you back to sleep again. Why get up right away anyways it was so comfy.

Flashbacks of the mission plagued your mind; flashing between trying not to get caught and being chased by the galactic scum. Fear had your heart racing until it was all you could hear in your ears; pounding and pounding until it felt like you couldn’t breathe, the cold grip of fear making your mind irrational. Someone was yelling but you couldn’t make out what the voice was saying; thrash as you might you couldn’t get enough air or move it felt until fangs bit into the juncture of your shoulder pinning you against a strong body a low growl reaching your ears. You knew that sound and instantly relaxed. Sinking against the body you knew so well; finally feeling air in your lungs and your fear leaving you.

“Geez you’re a handful aren’t you.” Jimin scolded.

With great effort, you opened your eyes to see it was indeed Jimin holding you; a deep furrow between his brows as he fretted over you. Carefully he laid you back down on the bed and covered you up with the blanket yet again; laying beside you he ranted as he brushed strands of hair from your face.

“You never think things through, do you? Do you have any idea how freaked out we have been? Yoongi has nearly had a heart attack every day or a major mental breakdown, Hobi had to lock him in his room to keep him from storming up here and shaking the life out of you. My mom has been giving me nothing but grief from that stunt you pulled and even though I took care of it it's my fault you’re hurt like this making me feel like an ass! Jungkook is on scrubbing duty for a year because of that stunt and I will be locking you away from any more missions I nearly died from worry over this crap! My mom is already planning our future as we speak the woman is a demon when she gets an idea in her head all because she found out you are my mate and holy hell we need to avoid that if at all possible…”

You couldn’t hold back anymore as you broke out into a fit of giggles; his confused glance down at you made you laugh even harder. To think a big brave captain of a big bad ship could be worried over something so little as yourself was just too much.

“Are you broken?” Jimin asked fighting his own smile.

“Maybe...I did take quite a fall from the sky you know. I had to fight off all those soldiers too in the snow might I add and I got to see you be a badass for a second and save me.” You smirk.

“Yep your fucked up. Are you at least feeling ok now?”

“Sore and battered but not dead I’ll make it. Yoongi really freaking out?”

“If Hobi didn’t use his skills as a siren to keep him docile we would all be dead by now so he could get to you. For such a small man he is something else when he is pissed.”

“Yep...like a cobra just waiting to strike, freaked me out the first time too.”

After a few shared laughs Jimin helped you up and you worked your way down to the main level of Jimin’s family home which was more like a stone fortress built into the side of a mountain. His mother was a beauty like you had never seen before; pale spots dotted her skin in such an alluring way you could see where Jimin got his looks. His father was built like a tank; pure muscle also covered in pale spots of the snow leopard, his people all wore thick fur clothing to protect them from the elements. Upon seeing the crew crowded around a table talking; brought relief to you...worrying about them had stressed you out more than you would like to admit. Jungkook was the first to spot you and immediately grabbed you up in his arms apologizing nonstop until Jimin pried him off. Your eyes landed on Yoongi who looked worse for ware; dark circles from hell lingered under his eyes instantly making you feel sorry. 

“Yoongs…” You whimpered. Making your way to him a bit wobbly you sank down into the chair next to him and hid against his collarbone as you let your emotions go unsaid; he didn’t need to hear it he knew you well enough. Wrapping and arm around you he squeezed you tightly; you could tell he had been miserable and worried about you just as much as you had him.

“You took long enough.” He muttered. 

“Well excuse me I’ll go into a coma next time.” 

“Better fucking not!” Yoongi growled. 

Laughter erupted from around you; the crew you had learned to love and accept like family sat around you. Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. Maybe you had died and this was your heaven? 

“You guys act like and old couple! Have you always been like this?” Hoseok asked laughing. 

“Like I would settle for a bratty kitten like this please!” Yoongi growled. 

Hoseok laughed his head off as he smacked the table. 

“Right because you were busy toying with me just last night were you not?” Hoseok winked at Yoongi who went pin straight against you. 

“Min Yoongi what have you been up too?” You smirked at him. 

“Shut up cat! You fish boy can it!” 

“Only if you make me big boy.” Hoseok laughed dodging all attempts by Yoongi to hit him.

What the hell had happened while you were out? Jimin collected you from Yoongi who was about to mess up Hoseok’s pretty face; but the siren seemed to be welcoming it. Being led through the house you were shoved into a bathroom of sorts with a large hot spring in the floor. Jimin shut the door rather roughly jamming a plank against it so no one could get in.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

Jimin turned to you with a feral look in his eye; advancing on you until you were cornered against the wall. Without a word he started to strip you of your clothing before his own; shoving you toward the spring until you walked in. The hot water a welcoming relief to your tired body and aches; the man before you looked as regal as you remembered. His dark locks hanging over his eyes; his pale spots decorating his skin teasing you with glimpses of his muscles as he moved. 

“I think you owe me kitten...making me go through everything like you did. Part of me wants to love you to death and the other wants to bash your head in for being so reckless! So I guess I’ll knock out two birds with one stone, get you washed up and get some of my frustrations at the same time.” He smirked. 

“The hell--?” “Shhh not a peep out of you this time. Just relax and let me handle everything.”

That was in no way enough of a warning; Jimin crowded your body against the side of the hot spring, his form towering over you as his eyes locked with yours. You stared back not wanting to give in to his dominance just yet; his pupils dilated as he waited for you to look away first. You could see the restrain in him; he was trying to control his want to completely take you over. Grinding his hips against yours you could feel how hard he was; a low purr vibrating through you as he nuzzled her cheeks with his nose not breaking eye contact. Finally you give in and sigh when he nips at your jaw down your neck and back up again nuzzling behind your ear chuffing as he scents you. 

His grip grew tight on your hips as he pulled you against him; perhaps it was the slight manhandling that was turning you on or the pure animalistic masculinity he was expressing that had you melting in his grasp either way you wanted him and bad. Meeting his growls with your own you were raking your nails against his scalp as you pulled him down so you could devour his lips. Hearing Jimin groan into the kiss you let your hands explore as much of him as you could reach relearning every plane and curve of his body like you would never see it again. Grinding against him desperate to alleviate the ache growing between your legs all because of him and the need to have him inside. Impatience had Jimin lifting you up off your feet so you were straddling his waist, quickly and harshly he rubbed at your clit with his thumb breaking the kiss to watch you jerk and fall apart before him. 

“Listen carefully kitten; we won’t be having a repeat of that little stunt now will we?” He growled.  “J-j-jimin.” You moan.

“Answer me!”

“No no I... it won’t.”

“Good. Now you are going to take everything I give you no complaints you hear me?” He growled by your ear making you shiver.

Seeing you nod he quickened his pace on your clit as he slowly pushed himself inside you not even bothering to warm you up; the stretch was both stinging and pleasurable at the same time you weren’t sure which was more. Taking a snail’s pace at easing in until he bottomed out to pulling out before sliding in again; just as you were starting to calm down he slammed his hips into you making you cry out. Soft and sweet was not happening; he had a point to prove and you were all for it as you felt him hit your cervix so deep you were seeing stars. He pressed down harshly on your clit as he rammed into you; your screams and moans music to his ears. 

Your fluttering walls teasing his control as he lost himself in the feeling of you...his mate...his own slice of heaven riding him like a steed. The way your body would dance for him always mesmerized him making him proud he could evoke such a reaction out of you; hearing his name on your lips like the most beautiful song to his ears. Feeling you wrap your tail around his leg to help anchor yourself making him push up into you harder and faster; your walls were starting to squeeze on him...he would fill you up so you wouldn’t forget who you belonged to. Pulling a roar out of your lungs he felt you come on him screaming his name as he pushed you past sensitivity until he emptied himself inside you. 

A tangled and panting mess the two of you were; the hot water felt nice against aches you had completely forgotten about. Jimin was dutiful and cleaned you until he was satisfied before cleaning himself. Carrying you out of the hot spring he dried you with towels before wrapping you up in one while he rummaged through some shelves to pull out some clothes for you. They were the tribal clothing you saw everyone else wearing; they were made out of a hide of some sort with the inside lined with fur. A pair of pants and a tunic like shirt felt like the coziest blanket you had ever been in; he found you some boots to wear before he dressed himself. Pushing you toward the door he led you back to the main room of the house; everyone had gone it was empty, he guided you to the kitchen where he told you to sit at the table. 

Before long you had a meal set before you with plenty to drink as well; not sure what animal the meat was you still dug in and moaned to have some food in you. Downing your water as you tried to eat as quickly as possible; your stomach was growling at you in impatience from waiting. When you finished you had a full on food coma settle over you.

“That’s it for today kitten; back to bed.” Jimin chuckled at you dozing off at the table. 

“No I just woke up...I want to see everyone.” You mumble.  Jimin could only shake his head at you; leaving the dishes for later he picked you up again not surprised you didn’t fight him since you were dozing off in his arms. Taking you back up the stairs to your room he laid you down on the bed with fresh blankets already on it; probably thanks to his mom. You fought sleep you really did; but every time you blinked your eyes got heavier and heavier. Jimin went to leave but you grabbed his sleeve...you didn’t want to be alone. 

“Stay.” You whine.

Chuckling Jimin crawled into the bed with you and pulled you against him with the intention of only staying until you fell asleep before he would go and join the others. However the comfort and security of having you in his arms soon lulled him to sleep as well. Finally feeling safe again you welcomed the heavy slumber that awaited you; the scent of Jimin easing any worries you may have for the time being. 

[kimmy-trans]

【A.R.M.Y 1기 BTS MAGAZINE Vol.1】BTS interview

Q: What was your childhood dream job? You know people dreamt of becoming the President, policeman and teacher etc.

V: Doctor.

Jimin: I changed it a lot. I changed every day as I read manhwa. I wanted to become a chef when I was reading ‘Cooking Master Boy’.

Jungkook: Professional gamer.

Rap Monster: Everyone probably dreamt of being a professional gamer.

Suga: I wanted to become an architect.

Rap Monster: It doesn’t suit you at all!

All: (laughs)

Suga: I don’t know why I wanted to become an architect. I remember when I was in primary school and I said architect is my dream job. 

All: Why? What’s the reason?

Suga: I was properly wondering whether the word 'architect’ exists or not (laughs) I still don’t know why that was my dream job. 

Jin: I wanted to become a farmer. When I was in middle school, I went to help in my uncle’s farm in the countryside. I fell in love with the atmosphere and the peacefulness of the countryside that I felt back then. 

J-Hope: Wow, this hyung is so pure. Is being a farmer still your dream?

Jin: If there’s a chance, I still want to farm.

V: I’m the same with Jin hyung. My uncle is also…

All: Oh~ Is he farming? 

V: He’s a doctor.

Rap Monster: How is doctor and farmer the same occupation?

V: I mean we were both influenced by our uncles.

All: (laughs)

V: Once I was sick and I went to see my hospital uncle.

Jin: What the heck is 'hospital uncle', it should be doctor uncle (ㅋㅋㅋ)

Rap Monster: I have a plane uncle.

V: Anyway, I was in pain and crying. I went to see my uncle, he wore a mask, white gown and had gloves on, he looked so cool. That’s why I wanted to become a doctor. 

J-Hope: You guys probably don’t believe me but I wanted to become a tennis player. I played tennis in primary school. 

All: Stop. How long are you going to keep talking about (becoming a) tennis player (ㅋㅋㅋ).

J-Hope: Ah~ I haven’t participated in the ISAC games but I did sports when I was a child! 

Suga: Do you still remember when we went to Thailand and we played tennis there, you weren’t extremely that good (laughs).

J-Hope: Of course! I haven’t played for 7 years~ It’s just a dream, dream! My dream. Back then, I really wanted to become a tennis player, so I worked very hard. My wish was to be like Maria Yuryevna Sharapova, hitting the ball into the air while saying 'oh-i’. 

Suga: You suit to be like 'euhahaha’ while playing it. 

All: (laughs)

Rap Monster: My dream was to be the apartment’s security guard.

All: How come? What made you decide to be that?

Rap monster: One day, I came home from school and a young ahjussi asked me: “have you eaten yet?” It was so cool. 

Jin: So “have you eaten” was cool? 

Jimin: He fell for the uniform.

Rap Monster: I think that’s why (laughs).

J-Hope: My dream was the coolest!

V: Doctor is the coolest~

Jin: Do you know how cool a farmer is. 

Jimin: (suddenly) When I was in middle school, I wanted to become a policeman. 

Jimin: When I was watching the TV, it was so cool to see the policeman having a confrontation with the criminal.

Jungkook: I wanted to become a badminton player.

Jin: You just said you wanted to become a gamer.

Suga: Just say one.

Jungkook: When I was learning badminton, I was really into it.

Q: When did you have the dream of becoming a singer?

V: 6th grade of primary school.

Suga: 5th grade of primary school.

Jimin: Let’s talk about it one by one.

Jungkook: 1st grade of middle school.

Suga: I think it was the 5th grade when the artist Stony Skunk released their 2nd album. I didn’t have that much interest in music at that time, but one day I was watching a music programme and I was shocked by Stony Skunk’s performance. They naturally dominated the stage… I fell in love with their stage for a long time and then I heard Epik High ‘FLY’ and thought “ah, I have to rap”. I wanted to fall deeper for the hip hop genre, so I started to write music. It somehow felt like that's what I’m supposed to do. I don’t think I’ve changed my dream.

Jin: When I was in 1st grade of middle school, I had a conversation with my friends and they all said: “I’m going to become a singer!” We just vaguely talked about it. Blindly, I just thought singers are cool. That’s what I thought at the time. You know like “I want to try to achieve the dream that I recklessly dreamt of. It’s a cool dream.”

J-Hope: I was extraordinary in school when I was a child.

Rap Monster: I don’t think you can be not extraordinary.

J-Hope: It might seem that I’m bragging but my friends would always push me out to make me dance. It felt so good when I was dancing on the stage in front of many people. 

Jimin: Oh~~~ Stage.

J-Hope: With all of those experiences, I thought I need to learn dancing. I started to learn dancing properly and watched dance videos. The singers that sings and dances looked so cool, that’s how it became my dream. 

Jimin: My dream started off from dancing too. 

Rap Monster: When I was 1st grade in middle school, I really liked music and recklessly thought “I want to make music.” I think it was in the 2nd grade when I went to Hongdae and saw these hyungs rapping, they were so cool. I thought “I want to make music like them” and that’s when it became my dream. 

Suga: (points to V) You?

V: I was similar to Hobi hyung. I was staying quiet in school and when we were preparing for the school festival, you know those kids that are eye-catching. 

Rap Monster: I think you were one of them. 

All: (agrees)

V: When there was a school festival, I was always the most eye-catching student. I gained popularity from performing Big Bang Daesung sunbaenim’s ‘Look at Me, Gwisoon’ in 6th grade of primary school. 

Rap Monster: So that was your debut stage.

V: Yes, that’s why I was so popular in Geochang. 

Rap Monster: Geochang’s specialty.

J-Hope: So, it’s look at me Taehyungie? 

V: After that I was being complimented as the festival’s character. But in middle school, my popularity gradually started to drop. At the time, I thought “I’m good at performing on the stage”, so I said that to my father. And my father…

Suga: I think we’ve already heard the next part for more than 100 times.

J-Hope: The saxophone story has no end.

V: What do you mean saxophone! I haven’t even mentioned it. 

Suga: Aren’t you going to say, “my father asked shouldn’t you learn an instrument?”, and that’s how you started to learn saxophone.

V: Ah, yes…

Jin: I think that’s all you needed to say. 

Rap Monster: Yeah, you just need to talk about what made you want to become a singer.

Jin: Ah, it’s saxophone (laughs).

V: I didn’t even mention the word ‘saxophone’! 

All: (laughs)

J-Hope: I think he will talk about how he started to learn saxophone no matter what the question is. 

Rap Monster: We went from school festival and suddenly to instrument (ㅋㅋㅋ). Ok, what about you Jungkook? 

Jungkook: In middle school, there was a b-boy club so I joined in and started to learn. But my parents told me not to learn it, because b-boying will stop me from growing taller. 

J-Hope: That’s right, they said that a lot. 

Jungkook: So, I stopped b-boying and started to look for dance videos. I saw Big Bang’s G-Dragon and was like “ah, this is it!” That’s when I started to dream of becoming a singer. 

Q: Was hip hop the first genre that you came across with? How did you start wanting to make music? 

Suga: Um. I’ve always had the dream of wanting to make good music and let many people hear it. I’ve been listening to a lot of music and the hip hop genre just became the base. 

Rap Monster: I think I started off with wanting to make my own music, regardless of the genre. Of course, I like hip hop, I started off thinking “let’s show Kim Namjoon’s sincerity even if it’s not hip hop”. I hate making fake music. 

J-Hope: Um... I started learning dance first, so it was easy for me to stumble upon the hip hop genre. So, I thought of (making) hip hop music from the beginning. Then I met Rap Monster and Suga hyung, I was directly influenced by them and that’s when I got into hip hop. 

V: I’ve always liked hip hop since I was a child.

Jin: I became interested when I was a trainee. Remember the song recommendation list that Rap Monie gave us every week? (looks at Rap Monster) seriously I listened to it every single day~ While listening to the songs, I became interested and started to fall for it. 

Suga: That’s right, Rap Monie did a lot of work. 

J-Hope: Time to be educated!

Jimin: In the beginning, I just recklessly wanted to be a singer, but I got a lot of help from the hyungs. The hyungs taught me about the genre and they recommended songs so it was fun. That’s how I became interested in hip hop. 

Jungkook: I’m saying this because we’re talking about it now. It was honestly very hard for me.

J-Hope: Yeah, Jungkook had the toughest time when he first came across the genre hip hop.

Rap Monster: Yeah, actually no one can force anyone to love (things).

J-Hope: That’s right.

Jungkook: At first, I kept listening and tried many attempts but it was so difficult.

Jimin: Yeah, we’ve talked a lot about that in the old days.

Suga: What happened?

Jimin: One day, he came up to me and said: “hyung, I don’t understand, it’s so difficult.”

Suga: That’s why we recommended other genres apart from hip hop. We just told them to listen to a lot of music. 

V: That’s right, hyungs gave us a lot recommendation lists. Especially Rap Monie hyung.

Rap Monster: Jungkookie likes choreographing dance and listening to hip hop would help him with choreographing, so in the beginning I recommended a lot of R&B songs which are easy to listen to.

J-Hope: Right right. The biggest incident is that Jungkookie went to U.S to get familiar with music (laughs).

Jimin: Ah-woo. He did a great job (there). 궁디팡팡! (T/N: it’s a cute way of saying slapping his behind/bottom because he did a good job.)

Q: After BTS debuted, you released 3 albums in a short amount of time. Have you had a time when you felt having a mental breakdown while you were preparing for the album? 

V: There were a lot of regrets and difficulties with every album. After recording, we listen to it and regret about it, thinking “I should’ve done better, I should’ve put more emotions into it.” But the recording was completed, so we couldn’t do anything about it. That’s always a shame, so I think that is the most difficult for me. 

Jin: None of the albums were easy, especially O! RU L8, 2, I’ve had a cold few weeks before we started recording until we’ve finished working on the album. I couldn’t use my voice the way I wanted to, it was physically and mentally tiring. 

Jimin: For me, it was N.O too. I don’t know why it was so tiring. 

J-Hope: That’s right. Jimin was tired at that time.

Jimin: I had few more lines than before (laughs) so I think I felt pressured at that time. 

Rap Monster: Oh? Everyone is talking about O! RUL8,2? For me, 2 Cool 4 Skool was really tiring. Because of one song… I’ve mentioned this in other interviews too. I had to adjust the same part for over 20 times. I felt that I’ve sold my soul. When I think about it… (shakes his head) they kept telling me to change it and I was so angry that day. I couldn’t even scream because I was in the studio. So, at dawn I went to the park alone for about an hour? I put on my earphones and shouted (loudly). Then I could write the introduction and it went smoothly afterwards. Wah, seriously I was writing the lyrics while screaming, hanging down from the horizontal bar and I was on the verge of tears.

Suga: Yeah, writing lyrics was difficult during that time. I checked my inbox recently and I had 'No More Dream lyrics edit Suga 1’ and I sent up till 27. I looked at that and thought how did I do that (laughs).

Jimin: At that time, Hobi hyung also went there and came back (points at the sky).

All: (laughs)

Jimin: (draws dark circles and in Hobi’s tone, who was tired back then) yah, pay attention… let’s finish this quick…

Jungkook: (bursts out laughing) 

J-Hope: (laughs) 'No More Dream’ era was so tiring!

Rap Monster: I was really worried at the time. I had the pressure and I thought can we really go out (on the stage) like this.

V: When we were learning one choreography, we even tried matching up the angle of our fingers. 

J-Hope: We spent a lot of effort on the performance and of course it’s still the same now. When we practice a choreography, if one of the members was just a little bit different, we would stay up to practice the whole night.

Suga: The most difficult back then was that those who have trained for a longer time, they are supposed to guide the dongsaengs in every aspect but when we were actually debuting, none of us have done it before.

All: (laughs)

Rap Monster: We were really scared.

Suga: We were so scared (laughs). We would stay up worrying about what will happen if we don’t debut. The dongsaengs might hear us so we talked quietly like “what should we do?”

J-Hope: We’re talking and laughing about it now. But the fear rises again even when we think about that time. 

Suga: Now even when I’m worried I’m like "let’s at least write one line" (laughs). Seriously I nearly went ‘wow’ with this album. Even if I wasn’t sick in the middle, I still wouldn’t think that we had enough time.  

Jungkook: Me too. I wish we had more time to prepare.

Suga: That’s right. If I wasn’t sick, the time wouldn’t be that tight but I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I handed it over when the recording finished before the mastering stage. I feel as my life was shortened by 10 years (laughs).

Rap Monster: That’s right. The time was set and it was near the end of the year, so we had to deal with the awards ceremony schedule and work on our album in the studio at dawn. We can’t use the excuse of not having enough time and give up on the quality of the album.

J-Hope: But I feel like as we release albums, it will get even more tiring in the future. We won’t have enough time. Actually instead of saying we don’t have time, it’s more like we want more time to produce more perfect and better music. 

Rap Monster: We need to have higher expectations. We need to gradually improve the quality.

Suga: It’s such a scary thing to say to fans that we didn’t have enough time, if we say that, they might get disappointed so try not to say that. 

Rap Monster: I think it’s such a shame. We’re not trying to ask people to understand how we’ve worked on our album. I wish people could acknowledge that we’ve really put the effort in. When each album is released, there’re one, two areas that we need to improve on. I think this shows that our outlook on music making has got broader. 

Suga: I think Rap Monie is right. Back then, I thought that I just need to be good at rapping but now I pay more attention on the details. 

J-Hope: It seems that we’ve grown/ developed.

Q: How did you feel when you first heard the 3 title songs?

Suga: While I work on the songs, I’ve already heard it thousands of times, so I thought I wouldn’t feel a sense of pleasure to hear it again after the mastering stage. When I heard it, I was so impressed and thought “after all the hard work, it’s finally done.”

J-Hope: I didn’t realize it when I was listening and practicing to ‘No More Dream’, but one day I was like “ah! this is the one, it’s so good.”

Jimin: (laughs)

J-Hope: I felt the same with 'Boy In Luv’ recently.

Suga: You had the same intuition this time?

J-Hope: Didn’t I say that? (points to Jimin) 

Jimin: Suddenly! In the studio! (laughs)

J-Hope: As I went into the studio, the feelings just unexpectedly rushed up. Just then, Jiminie was there, so I said to him: “I’ve been thinking as I came here and I can feel it coming.” 

Jimin: That’s right (laughs).

Rap Monster: You can’t believe in Hobi’s intuitions.

J-Hope: The intuitions are really coming (laughs). Believe in me.

Rap Monster: Even in the same situation, I think I’m like Suga hyung. I didn’t realize it when I’m working on the song but once it’s done and I listen to it, I feel so proud, thinking “it has finally finished!”. Especially N.O after the mastering stage, I listened to it with big speakers, when “big house, big car” came on, I thought “this is the one”. 

Jungkook: “Big house, big car” is the best part.

V: It was so shocking (does the dance).

Rap Monster: When I heard 'Boy In Luv’, the feelings came. Rather than “it’s going to be a hit”, I felt that this is going to a second starting point for BTS. I think the most important is that people realizes that “BTS is this kind of artist!” Actually, I wanted to show that through this album. 

Jin: I remember when I first heard 'No More Dream’, I was so excited thinking “ah, so this is our first song”. 

Jimin: I had a hard time recording for 'No More Dream’ so I don’t remember much. When I heard N.O’s dance break part, I thought “wow~ it’s going to be so fun performing this song!” 

V: That’s right, N.O’s dance break part made me 'wow’ too.

Q: BTS have been performing on various stages, is there a memorable stage? A stage that you will remember for the rest of your life. 

V: My school festival’s stage. Every year I just watched but it was so nerve-racking when I was standing on the stage. I thought that people in school wouldn’t know about BTS, but I was surprised because the cheering was so loud. And the story continues (laughs) when I went back again, the teachers knew about BTS. 

Jimin: That’s right, there were a line of girls standing outside of the office. 

Jungkook: So envious!

Jin: I’m so envious~

J-Hope: That’s why you want to attend school! (laughs)

V: There was seriously (describes with his hands) this much of people standing in the line so it felt great. Jiminie and I looked at each other and giggled. 

Jimin: (laughs)

Suga: Ah, I should have debuted while I was in school!

V: Seriously it felt so great.

Jungkook: I have 2 (memorable stages). The Incheon Korean Wave concert which was on my birthday and the 찌찌트레일러 (the ripped concept trailer)

All: (bursts out laughing)

Jimin: Ah, are you talking about the time when we ripped our outfits?

Jungkook: That stage was so memorable for me. It was so shocking. I was dancing, then moved to the back and saw one of the members was naked. 

Suga: I honestly thought that you guys got too excited and ripped the outfits.

All: (laughs)

Jungkook: Wow~ I still can’t get that out of my head.

Jin: I have 2 too. One is the debut showcase and the other one is same with Jungkookie, the Incheon Korean Wave concert.

Jungkook: Kya~ (in awe)

Jin: I saw a lot of people when I went on the Incheon concert’s stage. Before I went up there, I heard the cheering for the sunbaenims was so loud and my hands were shaking. Since I’ve never stood in front of so many people before.

J-Hope: Same. If I had to pick the most memorable stage, it’d be our debut stage but the Incheon concert was memorable too. I was feeling it at the time and suddenly, I nearly made a mistake by saying Battle of Incheon (laughs). 

All: (laughs)

J-Hope: It was the first time to perform in front of so many people so I felt a lot after I got down from the stage. I thought “if this amount of audience comes to our solo concert in the future, I’m definitely going to get goosebumps.” And I wished that would happen. I also thought “I need to work harder.”

Jimin: Our debut showcase is still fresh in my memory and I can’t forget that time when we won an award on MelOn Music Awards ceremony and worked hard on the stage. Seriously, I didn’t think that we would win. When we got the award, I was so dumbfounded that I didn’t know it was a dream or not. Before standing on the stage, we said “let’s do well” and rubbed each other’s shoulders (laughs).

Jungkook: I can’t forget our Gayo Daejun stage.

Rap Monster: Me too. And Incheon Korean Wave concert. Before the opening of Gayo Daejun, we were on standby and it felt so long. I was so nervous. During that short amount of time, I had so many various thoughts, like “we’ve finally made it to perform on this stage.”

All: (agrees)

Rap Monster: I can’t forget the feeling when I looked at the Incheon Korean Wave concert’s audience seats. The seats were so spacious when we were rehearsing. 

J-Hope: That’s right, I was wondering “will the seats be filled up?”

Rap Monster: I wondered “will they hear my voice from here?”

Suga: I think I’ve been to various places to perform. So, instead of being nervous, I was always more worried about not making any mistakes. There was only one time that I felt the stage was scary and exciting. Our debut showcase. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I don’t think I can forget the time when I was waiting at the back. 

Jimin: Ah~ I got goosebumps.

Rap Monster: That stage was so nerve-racking so I can’t remember much, I only remember when I was in the waiting room and when I was holding the cake. It’s seriously going through my head like a film.

Suga: We’ll stand on various stages in the future but after as time passes, the first stage(s) will always be unforgettable.

Rap Monster: That’s right. Our debut stage is unforgettable too. First times are always memorable. 

Q: You must feel stressed while you’re experiencing many things.

Suga: (I think) even the time you spend on feeling stressed is a waste.

Jungkook: When something is not getting nowhere, I’m like “why is this not working out?”

Rap Monster: That’s right. I’d think “is this all I can do?”

V: (agrees) When it’s not working out.

Jungkook: I know that I need to work harder and practice but sometimes time passes faster than you think. At those times, it’s so stressful…

Jimin: I can’t sleep when I’m stressed. It gets in my head and it won’t leave me alone for the entire day. The worst is when I get many criticizes on my singing or dancing. I’d feel so down and I’d just want to be alone in silence.

J-Hope: Me too, I think I’m stressed the most when I get criticized.

Rap Monster: Right. Direct stress. 

J-Hope: When you get a lot of feedbacks and you feel like “what am I going to do?” it feels as if the path ahead is blocked (or feel completely helpless).

Q: Is there a way to relieve these kinds of stress?

Jungkook: I eat.

Rap Monster: I’ll dig into something unconditionally. It could be game or music. The song I released earlier ‘Too Much’ was made when I was really stressed. Listening to it now, it’s just like the title 'Too Much’ (laughs). Back then I thought I could create something cool when I’m stressed. I think I was wrong, so I decided that it’s better not to write songs while feeling stressed. 

Suga: I think my personality have changed a lot. I used to express it out when I’m stressed. I expressed it out and ended it through something. But now when I’m stressed, it just dissolves inside my body. I don’t even have a hobby.

Rap Monster: Photos!

Suga: I like taking photos but it’s not like I feel catharsis 'wow, it’s amazing (in a greasy tone)’ when I take photos. 

All: (bursts out laughing) 

Suga: Although I really like cameras, I don’t go 'wow it’s a lens (in an impressed tone)’ when I’m using the camera.

Rap Monster: Len…s! 40mm! (being possessed by a spirit)

All: (bursts out laughing) 

Suga: Even if I get stressed now, I know a way to be less stressed. “If I do better, then I won’t get stressed. I need to be more perfect.” When I think in that way, I won’t be stressed.

Jungkook: Actually, I don’t think that much (innocent).

Rap Monster: Jungkookie is just disconnected. Suga hyung exudes and Jungkookie is disconnected.

J-Hope: Ding~ Ding~ (does sound effects)

Jungkook: As soon as I feel stressed, I go ‘aaaagh’ and I’ll be okay.

Jimin: I still don’t know how to relieve stress. I’d either pile it up or stay alone and wait for something funny to happen. When I’m in that state (points to Jungkook) he often rollicks and makes me laugh. If I keep a straight face, he will just stay quiet.

Rap Monster: (points to Hobi) How do you release stress? I’m curious.

J-Hope: Me? I get stressed when there’s a problem, if the problem gets solved then the stress is relieved. Apart from that, I don’t really get stressed.

Rap Monster: Don’t you get stressed over little things?

J-Hope: Um…I don’t but when I do, time is the answer. Stress is also relieved when I eat sweet things (laughs). 

Jimin: (points to V) How do you relieve stress? I’m curious about V. 

V: Me?

Suga: Actually V does the most (to relieve stress), right? Some behavior to relieve stress.

V: You can tell from my face when I’m stressed. Like this ‘I’m in a bad mood today’ (pulls the face), ‘I’m so stressed’ (pulls the face). When I’m moody, if someone talks to me, I will be spaced out and I will either play games, read webtoons or watch movies.

J-Hope: He does a lot.

V: I try a lot but I still haven’t found many solutions to solve the problem.

Jin: I relieve stress by making and eat something (laughs).

Rap Monster: As always. Eating!

Jin: I was talking about how I relieve stress!

J-Hope: This hyung is getting stressed. Quick, he needs to eat something. No (points to the snacks on the table) quick, give him the snacks.

All: (laughs)

Jin: No, I must eat the food that I make. Or I will sleep. If I sleep, 80% will be relieved.

Jungkook: Ah, really?

Jin: Yeah!

Rap Monster: Sleep is the best!

J-Hope: Everything is solved with sleep.

Jungkook: I don’t fall asleep easily.

Suga: Who believes that you don’t fall asleep easily?!

Jungkook: Strangely, it’s difficult for me to fall asleep on the bed.

Rap Monster: When I put my head on the pillow, I fall asleep straight away.

V: Rap Monie hyung snores when he lies down.

Jin: These days, I must wear a headset to sleep because of Rap Mon.

Jimin: (excited) Wow! You can hear it through the headset. Seriously! You can hear ‘papapak’ and it vibrates as well.

Jin: He snores every day.

Rap Monster: That’s why my neck hurts when I wake up. I’ve been snoring diligently.

Jimin: I was seriously startled. V left a pair of headset on my bed. I was like ‘what are you doing~ take care of your stuff’ and put it aside but when I was sleeping at night ‘this isn’t right! I need the headset!’ and then put it on. But I can still hear (Rap Monster’s) snoring!!

Suga: I don’t know anymore. I think I’ve got used to it.

V: Me too, it doesn’t really affect me.

Jin: Even when I’m furthest away from Rap Monie, it feels like I’m next to him. Do you know that? Rap Monie is very sensitive before he falls asleep. If I rustle slightly, he will say: “Jinie hyung…”

All: (laughs)

Jin: Then he falls asleep and snores (laughs).

Suga: When we go abroad or go on a business trip, we share a room, right? We share one room and then we give him a room to himself.

Rap Monster: (bashfully) Why do I always snore…

J-Hope: (points to Rap Monster) You should sleep with manager hyung.

Jungkook: That’s right!

Jin: Yeah!

V: Right!

Jungkook: They can have a collaboration!

All: (bursts out laughing, especially Jimin)

V: Two-tops!

Suga: No! I’ve never seen this kind of collaboration!

Jungkook: (acts out snoring collaboration)

All: (continues to burst out laughing)

J-Hope: You’ve got to feel that.

Rap Monster: Someone recorded and let me listen to it before.

Jimin: It’s so funny. When other people snores, he throws pillow and covers his face with duvet.

All: (claps and laughs)

Jin: Seriously, when other people do that, he would wake up and tell them to get up.

Jimin: (laughs, almost crying)

Jungkook: (claps like a seal)

Suga: In the past, Jiminie snored and Rap Monster tapped him and said: “yah, stop snoring.” Then he lied down and started to snore.

All: (stomach hurts and can’t laugh anymore)

J-Hope: Wow~ Seriously, you.

Suga: You have no conscience!

Rap Monster: I… made a mistake. (grins) I relieve stress through snoring!

Jimin: If Jungkookie snores slightly, hyung blocks his nose. When hyung puts his head on the pillow, it’s not snoring but roaring.

Rap Monster: No… (voice got smaller)

Jungkook: It’s fortunate that I don’t wake up in the middle of sleep. Falling asleep first is the best.

Jin: Can’t wake up in the middle of sleep. We only have 3 hours to sleep, try to let Rap Monie sleep first.

All: (shakes their head) oh~ no way! (shrieks)

Jimin: Rap Monie is so sensitive to the point that we can’t chat outside of the room. He’d tell us to be quiet and stay outside.

V: But hyung sings when he goes to the bathroom.

All: (laughs)

Jin: And puts music on.

Rap Monster: No~ Why are guys being like this~

All: (having fun driving Rap Monster crazy)

Suga: And he vacuums at dawn.

Jin: I just thought of the trainee days. Vacuuming at dawn.

Suga: I thought “why is he like this? when he’s going to turn off the vacuum cleaner?” I wanted to go out and say something to him but he turned it off just in time. I thought “ah, so he finished now!” 

Jin: When he showers, he’d suddenly sing passionately.

All: (laughs)

Jin: I still remember that. Younha’s Waiting!

Jimin: (laughs with tears) 

V: (holds stomach and laughs)

Jungkook: (claps like seal)

J-Hope: Ah, seriously (laughs).

Rap Monster: My endorphins~

Suga: So, I opened the door and shouted: “be quiet!!!!!!” (laughs)

V: It was so funny.

Jungkook: How come I don’t remember that. Was I sleeping?

Jin: You weren’t there at the time.

Suga: It happened when you were in America.

Jimin: Ah, it was seriously so funny.

Rap Monster: But I only snore these days.

Suga: Yeah, you don’t do those things these days.

Rap Monster: Recently, we got a new dark horse (points to V).

Jungkook: He sleep talks so much.

All: (copies V)

Suga: But we all got used to it so it’s fine.

Q: It seems that you know each other very well to the point you’re used to each other’s habits. Like the 7 members, BTS and ARMYs are getting closer too. During this neither long nor short period, you’ve met many ARMYs. What goes on your mind when you think of ARMYs?

Rap Monster: I really want to meet people face to face. But I know that some people may see that as non-charismatic. The ‘next door oppa’ style may seem non-charistmatic, but I want to have a conversation with my fans face to face. When I have a conversation, the inspiration I get from the fans will be reflected in my music. Then I let fans enjoy the music and I think that’s great.

Jin: I want to chat with each fan but that’s not an easy thing to do. It’s such a shame (that I can’t do that). I want to keep growing and show my best side to the point that my fans can proudly say ‘that’s my singer!’

Jungkook: I’m grateful towards our fans. I want to do something for them but I don’t know what to do. I want to convey things but I’m worried that they might misunderstand so I don’t talk much. And they seem to think that I don’t express myself, so I’m a bit upset about that. Therefore, I will keep working hard and get closer to them.

Suga: I’m the same with Jungkookie, I can’t express myself well. I find it difficult to express my feelings and emotions to fans. Rap Monie wants to meet people in person but I’m not good at doing that. However, I won’t ask people to understand that. I think I will change myself while having conversations with many people and deliver what I have in mind. Have a sincere talk with each other.

Jungkook: It seems easy but difficult at the same time.

V: I think fans’ love is fascinating. I’m receiving so much love but all I can say is ‘thank you’ and 'I love you’. It’s difficult to reply to each fan and I can’t do anything (for them). Showing them good performances is a matter of course. I think it’s my homework to find the ways to repay (fans’ love). 

Jimin: I think the best repayment is to not disappoint our fans. So, I want to show my coolest and best side.

J-Hope: Actually, this is going to sound the same. It’s amazing/ fascinating that there are people who loves me and loves our group. I’ve always wanted to repay (the love). When they give us gifts, we either wear or use it. We usually read the tweet mentions and messages on the fancafe. We go back to the dormitory and read all the fan letters. 

Jimin: That’s right.

J-Hope: We try to read all the delivered writing and thoughts, and we’re so touched. I think this way of expressing is not easy. So, I want to express myself more. I think even saying 'thank you, I love you’ for thousands of times is not enough (to repay).

Source Trans: KIMMYYANG

[ik-jams]

Mafia AU: BTS' reaction to their S/O being the little sister of the rival gang leader and when their brother tries to hurt the member they kill their own brother.

WARNING: I KNOW Y'ALL WOULDN'T KILL YOUR BROTHERS SO DON'T ATTACK ME. THIS IS MERELY A REQUEST THAT LOOKED INTERESTING AND I DID IT. OK now, Yo. This title. I Hope this is what you wanted, this gon be my first time writing a Mafia thing. Please send feedback if you can guys. ~ ♥♥

————————

Jin/Kim Seokjin:

Very shocked that you would kill your own family member for him. He watched as you took out the gun He had given you only to protect yourself but here you are protecting him shooting your brother for him. He was planning on killing him sooner or later but this wasn't the way anyone thought it would go down.

Jin: Wasn't that your brother? You just..

You: He.. He was going to hurt you a..and I was scared. I'm sorry.

Jin: You don't need to apologize. -He holds your hand-

You: -You look at Jin unable to stare at your dead brother any longer- I killed him. Was it.. right for me to.. kill him?

Jin: It was right. I'm sure it was the right decision.

~~~~~~~~~~

Suga/Min Yoongi:

He would think hard about what you just did. Killing your brother for him, he felt some happiness but also some worry. Exactly how far would you go to protect him? You were willing to kill a blood relative for him, would you die for him??

Yoongi: Y/n? -You were still holding the gun up, looking at your brother in shock-

Yoongi: You can put the gun down. -He takes it from your hands- It's done now.

You: I shot him.

Yoongi: You did.

You: I.. -Still staring at your brother-

Yoongi: -He wraps his arm around your shoulders- Let's go, there's no need to stay any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~

J-Hope/Jung Hoseok:

He watched the argument go down. He'd be confused as to how you gathered enough mental strength do such a thing. Even he would hesitate if he had to kill family. You didn't seem too proud of your decision anyway though.

Hobi: Are you okay?

You: Sure, killing my brother was simple. Of course I'm not okay Hoseok.

Hobi: I was planning on killing him at some point anyway.

You: Hoseok! -You smack his arm-

Hobi: It's the truth. -He holds your face-

Hobi: Let's get home. I believe I have something pleasurable at home that'll make you feel better, kitten.

~~~~~~~~

Rap Monster/Kim Namjoon:

He was extremely worried about you, He saw tears go down your face as you held the gun up. He thought you wouldn't be able to do it but you did it, he wanted to know what you were thinking and feeling that made you shoot your brother for him.

Namjoon: Baby? It's okay, calm down.

You: I killed him. I killed my brother. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. My god.

Namjoon: Sh. Come here. -He holds you tightly against him- You protected me. I love you for that. I love you and appreciate you. Thank you, baby. Thank you.

You: Namjoon I'm scared, wasn't there another way? I don't..

Namjoon: Maybe there was but what's done is done okay? He was dangerous, his death was coming anyway.

~~~~~~~~~

Jimin/Park Jimin:

Smiling, shocked, as a Mafia boss who has been waiting for this guy to die and for him to be killed by his own sister was too interesting. He of course would make sure you felt okay, although he felt proud of you he also felt worried, you just killed your sibling.

Jimin: You okay, honey? -He rubs his thumb against your cheek-

You: I feel tired, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Jimin: -Now takes your hand and starts making you walk- We're leaving. You know? At some point someone else was going to kill him.

You: I-I guess.. Are you trying to make me feel better?

Jimin: Is it working?

You: I don't know.

Jimin: We'll be in bed in the dark, and after tonight you can tell me if it worked.

~~~~~~~~

V/Kim Taehyung:

Worried x100 for you. Although you knew what he did, he never expected you to get involved this much. After doing that he would immediately run towards and hold your face asking you if you're Okay.

Tae: Do you know what you did? Are you okay? Can you move?

You: I killed him.. I don't know. Oh my god I killed him.. Taehyung I killed him! -Mental breakdown-

Tae: Sh. Sh. Y/n listen to me. Calm down I know it's hard but just listen. I believe you did it for a good reason. You did this feeling that it was right.

You: Was it? Was it right?

Tae: ... Yes, It was right.

~~~~~~~

Jungkook/Jeon Jungkook:

Jungkook was a cold mafia leader; he never thought you had the heart to kill a sibling for him but apparently you did and that made him quite moved. He looked at you trying to figure out how you felt about your decision. Trying to see if you regretted what you did.

Kook: You did good.

You: -Unable to say anything-

Kook: -Rubbing your shoulders- I know it's hard to process but I promise you this was the correct decision.

Kook: Staring at him isn't going to change what happened to him.

You: -Still shocked, unable to speak or move-

Kook would end up having to carry you back. He understood what had just happened and some of how you felt. He hopes you'll feel better about your decision someday.

~~~~~~

Note: I tried to make all of them have different reactions so that I could maybe catch one your personality's. 💙