#jim writes shit

[lovelylittlegrim]

Stobin headcanon that after everything both Steve and Robin go into law enforcement and become a pretty solid detective partnership. They have a really high close rate for all their cases because they’re stubborn and smart and they’ve seen some shit ™️

The only problem is that they like to do the whole good cop & Bad cop shtick during interrogations except they always forget who is supposed to be playing what role and they’re just both bad cop more often than not and now the suspect is crying (they always make the suspects cry because steve has a mean girl attitude and Robin just likes the drama of slamming her hands on the table)

And their poor chief is in the background with a headache, on the phone BEGGING hopper to take them back. And hopper has zero sympathy. He gave them a glowing recommendation for a reason. They’re good kids and great detectives but they give him ulcers.

[dustykneed]

pov: you're having your comphet removed 🌈🤯😤 (doctor's orders) 🙏🏼💫🩻

this is why bones only gets to play dress-up as a treat 😔 if they'd put him in a little blue tunic in plato's stepchildren it would've been deadly

@very-bad-poetry-captain was watching the cloud minders and generously brought these skimpy little guard outfits to my attention. and then i blacked out for two hours and...

[crashqueen-motorbaby]

headcanon that when hop adopts billy, billy doesn’t start calling him ‘dad’, instead he calls him ‘pop’ instead of ‘hop’ one day by accident and just sticks with it

[puppetmaster13u]

Who wants a WIP

Someone meets lil baby Dick Grayson for the first time

🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤🦇🐤

   “Since when did you have a kid?!” He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Gordon so shocked, which is surprising. 

   He blinked, glancing down to where Dick was scribbling in his notebook with a matching robe on before looking back up at the older man. How long has it been…? Oh. “Since six months ago…?” he trailed off at the strangled noise the commissioner made. 

   “Did… I can’t believe I’m going to ask this,” Gordon whispered. “Did you steal a child Bruce?” 

   He blinked again, confused. Did he? No, he was going to go with no. “No?” Honestly he might have more confusion in his voice than the other did. What was so surprising- Oh! 

   “I have a foster license,” he informed his… friend? Ally? Ally worked. He informed his ally. “But we’re waiting for the adoption to go through.” Technically he could pay to speed it up but that would also risk media coverage which he didn’t want, nor did Dick need it. Reporters were like vultures, he swore. 

   Well, actually, at least vultures were an important part of their ecosystem so there was that. 

   Gordon breathed a quiet curse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, alright, sure, you’ve had a kid for six months and somehow no one has found out, alright.” Well it wasn’t like he liked going out into public so that had honestly probably helped. 

   “You couldn’t have,” the red-haired man made some sort of motion with his hands. “I don’t know, warned me ahead of time before someone broke into your house? What if someone had taken the kid?!” 

   Bruce frowned, nose scrunching up at his own distaste at the thought. “I wouldn’t let them,” he informed Gordon seriously. 

   “How, Bruce? You can’t fight and would get hurt yourself, then what?” Well he could fight, even if people didn’t realize that with how passive he acted in public. “How did you even get a child, you’re never even out?”

   “A big bat-thing dropped me off!” Dick was the one to cheerfully answer, causing another officer to choke while Gordon looked close to having a stroke, looking between the two of them. 

[t4tails]

reading 90s catwoman will either break you or strengthen your bad art immune system to the point that you wont complain about boob socks so long as her back isnt breaking

[silasamerica]

If I'm being honest, I feel like Gotham positions both of Jim Gordon's main love interests to be representations of Gotham in a way.

Barbara is seen by Jim as new Gotham, a Gotham which corrupts the innocent and turns them insane and unreasonable and it's happens out of nowhere to him. It was not Gotham being inherently corrupt due to the structures put in place decades upon decades which turned her into this. It was a new distortion, a preversion on what Gotham is and should be that caused her to become this.

Leslie, on the other hand, is old, ideal Gotham. She is what Gotham should be since she is seen as innocent and traditional and natural to him. She is the bandaid for the world going mad for him. She's is Barbara's replacement. She is what Gotham should fight to achieve each day and she does her part to achieve a better Gotham that is like what it was before corruption (which never existed because Gotham was born from corruption caused by the rich and powerful). There is a reason she is depicited as a 1950s housewife in Jim's nightmares and why the reason the tragedy in those nightmares is that ideal that are based on his fantasy of the nonexistent past is that ideal being corrupted! Unable to be achieved!

Nevertheless, despite how Leslie was introduced she is later shown that Leslie was never the idealized verison he had of her in his head. If the tetch virus shows only than what is repressed deep down, then she is as able of violence and cruelty than any other criminal he has in Gotham. She is as damned as they are in soul and since the tetch virus affected him similarly he is too.

She is more closer to what Barbara is in soul and in position if given the right circumstances than she ever was to the perfect wife, the perfect mother he wanted her to be for him. She is human, flaws and all and he can't take that.

All this leads to Jim brooding in ego-centric masochism instead of reevaluating his worldview. Instead of growing, he digs deeper into the hole he's created for himself. To admit that his worldview about Gotham is flawed would be to accept nihilism.

[snoji]

me watching Twisters (2024) : this is so mckirk

[to-boldly-ship-mcspirk]

I just saw a band where the lead singer really reminded me of jim kirk and it got me thinking about mcspirk singing in the final frontier, and spock, uhura, and scotty canonically playing instruments/singing and long story short, now I'm thinking about a tos band au

[mirror-to-the-past]

Keeping my saltyness out of the tags outside of spoiler tagging so I don't rain on other people's parades, but oooogh the new Sonic movie did not meet my tentative expectations. That was a Jim Carrey dick stroking fest to an uncomfortable degree. Really didn't want Gerald's character to be done by him for a reason. The lack of attention on Shadow despite it being the Shadow movie was so frustrating, summarized perfectly by Shadow's final scene still being overshadowed by Carrey. I don't think Maria even got the fact that she was disabled mentioned whatsoever? Very strange. I had fun, had some laughs, enjoyed with fellow longtime Sonic dorks that were just as excited to see it as me, but we all went out disappointed. :/

[asexxxualauthor]

Me: (about to fall asleep)

My Brain: “In Jim Carrey’s Grinch, all the male Whos are clean-shaven—the most facial hair any have is sideburns, never a mustache or proper beard. This speaks to their exceptionally conservative and traditionalist culture, one that demands conformity and a sense of order, and which further alienates the Grinch due to his literal inability to comply. The gift and use of the razor, then, not only is a reminder of the bullying he was subjected to as a child, but a textual metaphor of the ways society attempts to strip individuals of their uniqueness and personhood in order to conform and become a part of compliant whole.”

Me: “…well thank you, but now I can’t go to bed, asshole.”

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

"trio built like a sitcom" is just SUCH a good tag I love it

I MEAN LOOK AT THEM, ALL THEY NEED IS A LAUGH TRACK AND A COUCH

[feather-dancer]

Figure screw it. This is regarding this post scrubbing older works with the intent of making them more readable aka not rewriting nor deleting them.

How much needs fixing will vary so some will be quicker to do than others. The current longer fic being tackled is As long as stars are in the sky because it badly needs it. It's just taking a while because there's just so much of it.

[adoctornotatumbl-r]

it’s so fucking evil that i have to go to work when all i wanna do is write fan fiction about the most annoying ass throuple in the universe

[echo-goes-mmm]

Ambrose and Elliot #19

Masterpost

Previous

Next

Warnings: urge/attempt to self harm (unsuccessful)

What was wrong with him? A few months ago, he’d give anything to avoid a punishment and now he practically itched for one. James had awoken some part of him that desperately wanted a good thrashing. 

Why? Ambrose was his Master, the authority on his life. If he didn’t punish Elliot, then he didn’t need a punishment. He should obey his master. Questioning Ambrose’s methods was horrid of him.

But a not-so-small part of him just wanted to know how long the leash was. He needed to know when he’d be punished. How Master Ambrose would do it. How bad it would be.

He couldn’t keep being good if he didn’t know where bad was. 

Elliot went over the rules in his head:

Obey

Eat at least three times a day

Sleep every night 

Not allowed to hurt himself, or let people hurt him

Don’t be formal

Speak his mind

No sex

Do his chores

Obey and No sex were clearly the most important. Ambrose had been very clear about sex. Elliot couldn’t risk breaking the most important rules.

‘Speak his mind’ was still confusing. And it wasn’t very easy to break if he didn’t know what it meant.

Eating and sleeping were going to be hard to avoid. And he really didn’t want to get sick again and cause more problems for Ambrose. 

Breaking ‘don’t be formal’ would embarrass Master. It was the first thing he officially ordered him not to do; to not call him Master out loud. It had consequences beyond Elliot’s disobedience.

Avoiding his chores would be too much; he wanted a few lashes or strokes of the cane, not a broken bone.

That left hurting himself. 

He went to the kitchen and plucked a cooking knife from the drawer. When his old master cut him, he avoided the big veins. The middle of his forearm would do. 

He put the blade to his skin. He pressed down, and tried to think of the relief that would follow after his punishment. The blade began to bite into him and-

He couldn’t do it. Elliot barely nicked himself, and he couldn’t bring himself to do more.

Coward.

He washed the knife and put it away. 

Gods, he was pathetic. Elliot grabbed the broom and dustpan from the closet. He already went over the floor, but he could use the time to think. Not that he was any good at it.

Somebody knocked on the front door. Oh no.

Please don’t be James, he thought as he walked over. Please not James.

He opened the door, and it was not James. Instead, an older man stood in the doorway. The stranger was large and muscular despite his salt-and-pepper hair.

“Um. Hello.”

The stranger pushed past him, and Elliot closed the door behind him.

“Are you Elliot?” said the man. His arms were crossed and Elliot was pinned between the wall and the man looming over him.

Elliot nodded. The man looked him up and down, scrutinizing every inch of him. He was used to feeling small, but next to this man he was a mouse in the face of a wolf.

He clung to the broom. As if a mere stick would protect him. He couldn’t help it: he whimpered. The man raised a brow.

“Ellie,” called Ambrose from upstairs, “who’s at the door?”

Elliot opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a raspy croak. Distantly he heard Ambrose thunder down the stairs.

___________________

“Jim,” said Ambrose, coolly. Jim turned towards him, and poor Elliot took the opportunity to scramble away from Jim, broom clattering to the floor.

“Would you care to sit down?” 

“Sure,” said Jim, dripping with faux casualness. Elliot hid behind Ambrose, clutching his shirt. Jim sat at the table nearest to him.

Ambrose wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. Jim was typically a reasonable man, but he indulged his son’s shenanigans. Personally, Ambrose blamed him for James’ worst behaviors. 

“Elliot,” he said, without looking away from Jim, “How about you head upstairs?”

“No. I want him to stick around.” Elliot began to shake.

Ambrose chewed the inside of his cheek. “Fine,” he acquiesced.

He crossed the room, and Elliot came with him, still hiding. Ambrose sat down. Elliot floundered a little, before sitting in the chair next to Ambrose. He scooted his chair closer to Ambrose until their knees were nearly touching. His face was red and Elliot started down at the table.

Jim did not let up with his glare.

“You broke my son’s nose.”

“He should be thankful I only broke his nose,” he retorted.

“You also threatened to kill him.”

“After he beat Elliot. Or did your son neglect to mention kicking him in the ribs while he was down?”

“I heard he started it.”

“He’s full of shit, Jim, and you know it. For fucks sake, look at him!” Ambrose gestured wildly to Elliot. “He’s just a slip of a man, and you think he started a fight? He’s terrified just sitting here! Elliot can barely carry a pail of water, and you think he would throw a punch? Get real.”

Elliot cringed.

“Sorry,” apologized Ambrose. Elliot shuddered.

“It’s okay,” said Elliot. He turned to Jim, trembling. “Um. You can hit me? If you want. I- I won’t run.”

“Wha- Ellie!”

Jim gaped at him, ‘tough-guy’ act gone.

“Ellie, why would you say that?” Ambrose couldn’t believe it. Teary, Elliot turned towards him.

“I- He’s mad at me,” he wept, “and I don’t understand you! Why can’t you just hurt me like you’re supposed to? Please, just slap me or beat me or something! I can’t take waiting anymore!” Elliot broke down into sobs, burying his head in his arms.

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” exclaimed Jim, staring at Elliot. “Did James do this? That little shit-”

“No, no,” he reassured Jim, “He’s been this way. But I’ve never heard him… beg like that.” Ambrose began to rub circles on Elliot’s back while he cried. 

“Look,” said Jim, running his hands through his hair. He was clearly frustrated. “I believe you about the fight. James has gotten out of hand recently, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Recently?” Ambrose couldn’t help it. “Jim, he’s been like this for years. Talk to any young woman in town. He doesn’t leave them alone. His ego is out of control, and you get worried now?”

“You’re right. Gods, I spoiled him. Beating a defenseless boy? He can’t even keep a job now.”

“So I’ve heard,” said Ambrose dryly. Elliot seemed a little more settled, and he leaned into Ambrose’s shoulder. His eyes were glazed and distant. Oh boy.

“You need to straighten him out. He’s lazy and full of himself. Humble him a bit. Make him work your field. I know you want to pass the farm to Claire, so put her in charge. With your support, I’m sure his older sister is more than willing to whip him into shape.”  

Elliot flinched. 

“Sorry, Ellie, I don’t mean literally.” He patted Elliot’s hair.

“I have half a mind to ‘humble’ him right now, the little monster. Shit.” He glanced at Elliot. “I’m very sorry for all the trouble. Is there anything I can do?”

Elliot looked right through Jim, a vacant expression on his face. He said nothing.

“I don’t think he’s here right now,” explained Ambrose, softly.

“Right, right.” Jim paused. “Listen, I’ll keep James away from here. I’d like for us to be on good terms. You’re a good man, and I appreciate what you do for the town. I’m sorry.”

Ambrose sighed. “As long as you can control your son, I’m still open to buying corn from you. But this cannot happen again. Understood?”

Jim stood, and offered his hand. “Understood.”

They shook on it, and Jim left.

___________________

“Elliot? He’s gone, love. It’s okay.” He coaxed Elliot off his shoulder. Elliot was still distant, his eyes unfocused. Ambrose gently took his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. He waited.

Slowly, Elliot came back to him. He flushed with shame, and looked away from Ambrose.

“Hey,” he said, “Can you please tell me what that was about?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, sweetheart. But I don’t understand, why do you want me to hurt you? Please, speak your mind.”

“I- I just. I’ve caused all these problems, and- and I just don’t understand why you don’t. I deserve it and the- the not knowing. It’s too much. Please just hit me. I need to know,” he explained wetly. “I just need to know.”

Elliot was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ambrose’s heart ached for him. It must be so confusing. Why wouldn’t Ambrose beat him? Everyone else in Elliot’s life did, so it must be coming. Elliot just wanted to know how Ambrose would do it, how painful it would be.

Ambrose reached up, and cupped Elliot’s cheek. He guided Elliot to face him, and he looked so confused but nuzzled into the palm of his hand.

“Listen to me, love. There is nothing to know. There is no catch. There is no price to pay. There is nothing you can do that I will hit you over. Nothing, ever. I swear to you.”

Elliot’s eyes were as big as saucers. “Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“What if- what if I-”

“No, Ellie. No ‘what-ifs’. Even if you do something bad, we’ll talk about it. No hurting. Okay?”

“Okay.”

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings @zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @keepingwhumpwiththekardashians @fanastyfinder @roblingoblin285 @whumpzone

[thestobingirlie]

an example of toxic masculinity in stranger things:

jim hopper

NOT an example of toxic masculinity in stranger things:

steve harrington

[c-is-for-circinate]

I would love to hear more mike wheeler - Steve Harrington masculinity thoughts (also whatever happened to Hopper to make him action guy my beloathed)! Also will we get a mike chapter for and they were married?

Okay yes! I am fascinated by Mike and Steve as narrative contrasts, and I always find myself looking for fic where the two of them meaningfully interact, and I keep meaning to write about them.

(Also: Mike deserves his own chapter of that fic, but he's getting folded into Dustin's. What Mike really deserves is his own fic that takes place in that universe, because I know what his deal is there and it's a doozy, but that is a very different post.)

Anyway! For starters, I don't think that Steve and Mike are intentionally meant to be foils. There's an element of it in the first season, where Steve exists to support Nancy's character, and Nancy and Mike are meant to be foils -- Steve is the Popular Kid, the antithesis of Mike and his friends' little group of nerds, he and Tommy and Carol are written into the same category as Troy but older and less actively murderous, and the fact that Nancy's dating him says things about her -- but they end up occupying oddly similar spaces and cool parallels come out of that anyway.

A core thing about it is that Steve and Mike are both the guy in their respective age group casts on the show. The Guy. The central one, the normal one, the presumed-to-be-straight one -- and yes, this is fandom and we have Opinions about that, but the Duffer brothers think they're both straight, and that matters here. They're white, they're able-bodied, they have money. They are, in a sense, normal.

Narratively, they very often act as central/POV character for scenes they're in, at least once Steve gets past the fistfight in S1 and awakens to the fact that he's a person who can make decisions. And that makes sense, because being The Guy also means they're the closest to the classic TV protagonist archetype, the guy who does the hero shit and gets the girl in the end. Hopper is also The Guy, and always has been: in S1 it's just him and Joyce, but even as we add more adults, the only real challenge to his The Guy status is Bob (which is of course why Bob had to die). Murray is a bizarre conspiracy nut, and queer-coded besides that. Owens is an affable bad guy. Alexei and Dmitri and Yuri are all Russian.

Being The Guy comes with a certain amount of baggage. All three of them have to be romantic leads, and have to be crossed in love about it. All three of them are protectors in one way or another. And all three of them are on occasion assholes who have one hell of a time with sincerity and affection.

And this is where we get into Toxic Masculinity, because again, while I don't think the Duffers intended a pile of parallels between these three guys, well. Firstly, The Guy as an archetype is built on a pile of toxic masculine stereotypes, so that's often there to begin with. Secondly, it's the same writers, so certain themes rhyme whether they're intended to or not.

In particular, one of the core tenets of toxic masculinity, not just in ST but as a thing in the world, is when and where it's acceptable to experience soft emotions of affection, care, and vulnerability. The first rule of toxic masculinity is don't. The second rule, the caveat rule, is a little asterisk saying 'except, occasionally, with a female romantic partner, if you absolutely must.'

And so we actually see a lot of unfolding of this in Steve! One thing we know about Steve, without precisely being told, is that he's deeply lonely -- for a popular kid he sure seems to only have two Actual Friends when the show starts and they hardly seem to even like each other. He has a new Favorite Person every season, and he clings to them with the joy of a devoted golden retriever. His mental image of happily-ever-after is a house full of kids with enough siblings to never get lonely, family vacations about close quarters and spending time together. We never see his parents. For all a lot of the 'horrible abuse' fanon is very much fanon, Steve is inarguably a lonely kid. And where do we see him reaching out for affection?

It's not Tommy and Carol, although until they break up he's constantly in their company unless he's alone with Nancy. They hardly even seem to like each other very much, and yet they've stayed at his empty house enough for Tommy to know about his mother's fireplace and Steve to insist he do laundry while he's here. No, the person who Steve is allowed to feel things with and for is Nancy, because she's the caveat, she's the exception. This is why Steve is consistently focused on getting Nancy back, getting a new girlfriend, getting a date. That's the rule!!!

The really fabulous thing about Steve's arc across the first three seasons, and even into S4, is that this quest for romantic affection and vulnerability is both thwarted and rewarded again and again. He tries to apologize to Nancy, to win her back: by the time he sees her again, Nancy's got a new boyfriend, but Steve has a new brother. Dustin is Steve's favorite person by the start of S3; he gets Steve's haircare secrets, he gets Steve's loyalty, he gets Steve's joy. In S3, Steve tries to pour his whole heart into a different girlfriend, and Robin turns him down flat while also simultaneously opening herself up with such vulnerability that they instantly become best friends. Robin is S4's Favorite Person, but the great thing about these relationships being platonic is that Steve gets to have more than one! He gets to have both Dustin and Robin in his life! He gets the other kids as part of the package! Bit by bit, instead of a girlfriend who Steve is "allowed" to be soft with, Steve gains actual friends who he gets to be real with whether it's allowed or not.

And the really tragic thing about Mike Wheeler is that he's doing the opposite. Mike starts out with three friends, three best friends, absolutely devoted to one another. As kids, they're young enough to be free of most of the stranglehold of toxic masculinity yet, although of course it's starting. And then there's El.

Mike charts a really interesting course over four seasons, and the shape of it is not a straight trajectory from 'Mike adores and is BFF with Will' to 'Mike thinks only about El.' Hell, from what we see of S1, the Party are all best friends pretty equally before Will goes missing -- Lucas is the one ready to break into a government lab for him, not Mike. Mike's trajectory is far more 'I derive the bulk of my personal self-worth from protecting other people, and as soon as somebody needs to be saved I go fully into Paladin Mode, making me feel worthwhile and important." It just so happens that the two people in Mike's field of vision who most generally need protection and saving are Will and El. Which leads to Mike's intense Will-focused devotion in S2 (El is gone but Will is also in really significant need, and Mike just straight-up activates, jumping immediately into solicitously taking care of his friend because Something Needs Doing And I Can Do It). And Mike's intense El-focused devotion in S4, where El needs a literal quest to come and rescue her. And just a lot of Mike in general.

The problem with all of that is the part where, unlike Steve who keeps forging new platonic relationships, Mike keeps neglecting his more and more. The S3 Will fight is so good at illustrating that, because look -- we all know Will has a crush on Mike, but at no point during that fight does Will ask, even subtextually, for romantic attention. He's asking for platonic attention, which Mike is absolutely failing to give. "Where's Dustin right now? You don't know, and you don't even care." But as Mike says, they're not kids any more -- and this is how growing up is supposed to work!

(Note: I don't want to say that it's toxic for Mike to be in love with El, or really caught up in that relationship -- he's fourteen! she's his first girlfriend! he thought she was dead! But Mike's an asshole in S3 because he's caught up enough to not notice his friend's feelings until they explode at him, and yeah, I do think part of that is because he knows he's Not Supposed To.)

S4 is a lot, because here's where we're really seeing the culmination of a lot of what Mike's been unfortunately moving towards. We've hit a point where those vulnerable feelings that Mike's allowed to share, at most, with his girlfriend, feel like too much to even share with his girlfriend. He can't say 'I love you'. He can't even talk to Will. The conversation he does have with Will is honestly mostly about Mike and his feelings of inadequacy, of not measuring up, not being special, but it has to be couched in the context of El. If there's a reverse-Bechdel test to be done on S4, past the very first episode I'm pretty sure Mike fails it -- I don't think he has a single conversation that isn't about his girlfriend in one capacity or another.

In contrast, S4 Steve is, yes, pretty focused on girls-in-general and Nancy-in-specific, and yeah, there's a little bit of backsliding going on there. But he's also having conversations with Robin about her fears and longings, having weird little interludes where Eddie's the one bringing up Nancy rather than Steve himself. He's hurt at the end when Nancy is clearly still with Jonathan, but he's able to move on, to go fold clothes and care about Robin's love life instead of his own -- his optimistic happy ending in S4 is that his best friend is going to get the girl, not him.

I think there's a lot more to say, which I only brushed on briefly here, about other aspects of Mike and Steve that work in parallel or contrast -- their protector thing, which feels very intrinsic but shows up very differently in both of them, the way Steve says 'I love you' so easily and Mike has trouble saying it at all, the way they are both very much extremely normal guys, at least on paper. There's so much to say. I think that has to be a different post.

I will say, in terms of Hopper: Jim Hopper is what it looks like when those pent-up feelings that you aren't allowed to express to anybody other than a romantic partner sit and fester for decades. Fuck, there were things about Vietnam he didn't even tell his wife, that sat like poison both emotional and biological between them. When we meet him in S1, he's processing grief with drugs and drinking and processing fear with rage. He has spent so much of the past four seasons processing fear as rage.

Of course Joyce is the one person he's allowed to, sometimes, on occasion, be soft with. Of course nearly his every interaction with Mike is macho dominance posturing. Of course the entire trajectory of his relationship with El is a push-pull of Hopper retreating into authoritarianism and anger instead of the terror of honesty, and then getting to see the consequences of that when his daughter pulls away. Every season has broken him down a little more that way, but then the yo-yo pulls back (Season 3 whyyyyyyyyy). By Season 4, he's been beaten and starved and frozen and shattered enough that we get maybe the most honest monologue of his life, to a Russian prison guard, because they're about to die so what do the rules matter any more. It's a clear window into an endless pit of self-loathing, because for twenty or thirty years Hopper's been letting those feelings eat in instead of out, and bit by bit they've been devouring him.

El is hope, for him, and Joyce is hope, and the cracks that broke open in Kamchatka to maybe let in a little more air that might not seal right back up again are hope. But it's hard. It's hard! It makes him an absolute asshole, including and especially towards the people he wants most to protect. (And there's that protector thing again.)

Anyway, I am on the record as liking Steve a lot and having very little patience for Mike and Hopper, but like. They're not that different, at their core. They just put the pieces together in a different order.