#jiang cheng deserves the while world and i wish i could give it to him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

robininthelabyrinth · 3 years ago

Note

A-Yuan wasn’t the only child among the Wen Remnants, just the youngest.

Children's Day - ao3

Lan Wangji carefully scooped up the boy out of his hiding place, tucked beneath a pile of stones, sick with fever and fast asleep.

It was a good hiding place. If Lan Wangji hadn’t played Inquiry and demanded to know if there were any living beings around in this cursed place of death, he would never have found the small child.

He remembered him – this was little A-Yuan, who Wei Wuxian had taken down into town to play, the one Lan Wangji had bought all those toys for in his confusion, the one who called him rich-gege. Barely more than two years old, having never known anything but war.

He was all that was left, now. There was nothing else left in the battlefield.

No one else left.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes in pain.

I’ll care for him for you, he promised Wei Wuxian’s ghost, wherever it might be now. Now that you cannot.

I’ll take him back to Gusu to raise as my own – wishing you were by my side.

-Earlier-

“Sect Leader!” one of his aides cried out when he staggered back into camp. “What – who’s that?”

Jiang Cheng looked down at the girl in his arms. She was – four, maybe? Five? He had no idea.

She looked a bit like Wen Qing.

“I found her hiding in the corner of the battlefield when she made a noise,” he said hoarsely. “The Wen sect remnants…by the time I got there, they were almost all dead already, all her family. She’s – she’s young. It didn’t seem right.”

Wei Wuxian always liked children, he thought vaguely to himself as he looked down at her. It wasn’t so much of a surprise that he would keep one there…in fact, if he thought back to that horrible meeting they’d had that one time he’d come to the Burial Mounds to try to talk to Wei Wuxian, he thought he remembered there being a small child there. This must be her.

She was bigger than he remembered, but that was what happened with small children, wasn’t it?

“Her surname is Wen?”

“No,” Jiang Cheng snapped automatically, and his aide took a step back from his vehemence. “The Wen sect is dead, you understand? All of them. The cultivation world refused to allow them to live, that much is obvious enough. Her surname…”

He looked down at her.

I failed Wei Wuxian, he thought grimly. I won’t fail his legacy.

“Her surname will be Jiang.”

-Earlier-

“We found this child hiding in the Demon Subduing Cave,” one of the guards reported, looking nervous. “Lianfeng-zun – what do we do with them?”

Jin Guangyao frowned down at the child, judging the child’s age to be about five or six – maybe seven, considering the likelihood of malnutrition at the Burial Mounds. If they were any younger, he would’ve said that the child ought to just execute them as useless; any older, and he would’ve had no choice but to declare them an enemy combatant, and thereby order them executed.

At this age, though…they were still young enough to be taught to forget their current surname, and to learn new loyalties, and yet old enough to perhaps remember a little of what they had learned, living as they had for a few years with the inventor of demonic cultivation.

Jin Guangyao glanced at the papers in his hands, full of barely legible scribbles, laying out powerful new spells and interesting ideas. They would help Xue Yang with his work – but not as much as a helper would, and naturally they’d just brutally executed all the other ‘helpers’ that might have been available.

Not exactly Jin Guangyao’s personal preference, but he wasn’t the one leading the Jin sect army.

Still, his father, who had been the one leading, had retired to his tent, and now Jin Guangyao was the one with the power, left to be in charge of mopping up. That, in turn, gave him a little more leeway, which meant he could implement his own thoughts, rather than badly thought out instructions.

“Put the child in my tent,” he said, and smiled. “The poor thing must have gotten lost and entered the battlefield – after we arrived. You understand?”

The guard saluted deeply. “Lianfeng-zun is kind and beneficent,” he said, and his expression was worshipful. “I will tell the others that the child is from some distant Jin branch.”

Jin Guangyao hadn’t intended for him to do that, but – well, he couldn’t exactly refute it now, could he, and anyway there were worse things to happen. Everyone would know that he had kindly taken in some orphaned child of war, which would be good for his reputation.

He smiled and nodded, and thought of the future.

-Earlier-

“Well, shit,” Nie Mingjue said, staring at the trio of children: nine or ten years old, he thought, maybe a little older, two girls and a boy. They stared back at him, wide-eyed and terrified – they were very clearly trying to sneak off the Burial Mounds down the back way.

Nie Mingjue rubbed his face, glad that he’d insisted on doing the forward scout work before the attack tomorrow morning himself rather than let it go to someone else. He hadn’t wanted to come to this blasted place in the first place, being that he still wasn’t sure exactly what had gone down with Wei Wuxian, who’d been a good man once. But good Nie cultivators had died at Lanling City at Wen Ning’s hands, the Jin sect claiming that that brutal attack was at Wei Wuxian’s instigation, and at the Nightless City at Wei Wuxian’s hands directly, and he didn’t have any evidence to exculpate the man, either; he had no grounds to look the families of those Nie cultivators in the eye and tell them not to pursue vengeance against the man who had slaughtered their brothers and fathers and sons, sisters and mothers and daughters, like they meant nothing.

They deserved vengeance.

Just as he had, for his father.

But at the same time…

“You’re all surnamed Wen, I take it?” he asked, and they slowly nodded. “Dafan Wen?”

Another nod.

“Wrong answer,” he said, making a snap decision. This wasn’t like his father at all, not really; he had wanted to kill Wen Ruohan, who had done the deed himself, while these children clearly hadn’t done anything. “Swear to me here and now that you won’t seek revenge for your sect or family, and you can be surnamed Nie instead.”

They looked at each other.

“Your family didn’t send you to run away because they wanted you to take revenge,” he said. It was a guess, but he could tell from the way their shoulders sagged that he was right. “They wanted you to live. Well?”

They swore.

He took them home.

-Earlier-

She tripped and fell flat on her face.

“Hey, girl!”

She looked up, eyes wide with terror – she hadn’t expected to be caught so soon – but the cultivator in front of her didn’t strike her down. He was a young man, just a few years older than her, and he looked nice, kneeling to help her up.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Did you get lost?”

Lost? From where would she get lost, exactly?

Despite that, she nodded.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Here isn’t a good place, though – we’re going to have a battle tomorrow…can you tell me where you’re from?” He frowned. “Or – can’t you speak?”

An idea suddenly came to mind, and she shook her head, lifting up her hands to mime signs like the ones she’d seen Lady Wen and her brother use sometimes when they needed to talk without disturbing others.

“Doesn’t talk,” he murmured to himself. “Clothing of white, ripped all to ribbons –”

She’d torn out any trace of the red sun. White was a common color, but she was old enough to know that she couldn’t let anyone know she was surnamed Wen.

“Oh, I’ve read about this before! Are you a bird yao that’s cultivated to humanity?”

What?

She’d been thinking of trying to pass as a traumatized war veteran, but she was only fourteen, after all; it wasn’t very believable. Of course, it was a lot more believable that bird yao – who would leap to that conclusion?

“My surname is Ouyang,” the man said, smiling brightly at her. “You should come back with me – I can teach you to speak, and we can give you a name…how about ‘Luo’ as a surname? That has to do with birds. Or we could surname you Bai, instead, since your clothing is white! Or maybe -”

She smiled helplessly at his nonsense. What a silly, cheerful man! Maybe she’d overestimated his age, he couldn’t be more than two or three years older, at most, and his brain was clearly not in the right place, filled up to the brim with romantic stories and adventure tales instead of facts.

It was a nice change, actually.

She accepted his hand as she stood.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

-Earlier-

Lan Wangji had returned home and submitted to a dreadful punishment. The elders he had injured on Wei Wuxian’s behalf were either in treatment or recovering.

As for the rest that had been at the Nightless City…

Many were dead.

Lan Qiren landed in the Burial Mounds, lips pressed tightly together.

He knew he was taking a risk in coming here to Wei Wuxian’s lair – no matter what Lan Wangji thought, whatever good points he’d had in the past, the man was now little better than a mad dog. He’d caused the death of three thousand people just the day before, three thousand innocents that hadn’t had anything to do with anything; why would he hesitate to attack his old teacher?

There was already talk of a siege – Jiang Cheng himself had promised to lead it, to wipe off the stain on the Jiang sect’s record, and the Jin sect had been right behind him. Even Nie Mingjue had been dragged in against his will, suborned by his sect members’ need for vengeance. As for the Lan Sect…Lan Xichen had looked so stricken by the thought that Lan Qiren had volunteered for the grim duty, despite Lan Qiren having never been much of a fighter and even less of a general. He intended to take only the smallest possible contingent, and to limit their work as much as possible to cleansing the dead rather than killing those who remained there – that much, at least, he could do for his nephew.

Either way, though, no matter his powers, Wei Wuxian would not live out the week.

If Lan Qiren desired vengeance, he need only wait.

And yet, here he was.

Alone, practically unarmed – and here nonetheless.

An old woman came out from the cave and squinted at him.

“It’s over,” she said sadly. “Isn’t it?”

Lan Qiren looked at her. One of the Wen remnants that Wei Wuxian had surrounded himself with, he assumed; the ones he’d given up his comfortable life for, claiming he was only acting as a righteous man ought. Perhaps he even had thought he was, back then.

Perhaps he really had been, back then.

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said, and cleared his throat. “After what he did at the Nightless City – the verdict is unquestionably death. But the rest of you…there are armies coming, and armies are not known for their leniency, especially not on passerby with the wrong surname. But they’re not here yet. There’s still time to flee – if you go now, you could take on a new surname and find some quiet place to live on.”

Lan Wangji had said they were civilians. Civilian life was to be prioritized above all else.

Lan Qiren was only doing what he must.

Despite his well-meant warnings, however, the old lady shook her head.

“There’s nowhere to go, and we won’t give up our surname,” she said, polite but stubborn to the last. “But thank you for taking the time to come here to tell us.”

“Wangji said that there were children here,” Lan Qiren insisted, ignoring her refusal. “If you won’t flee with them, at least send those that are old enough out on their own, and hide the younger ones. Tell them to forget their surnames – most people won’t rampantly murder children, so there’s a chance they’ll make it through, and live. Can you deny them that, just for pride?”

That gave the old woman pause.

“We’ll do what we can,” she said, and then eyed him. “How good are you at medicine?”

Lan Qiren frowned. “I can’t provide care –”

“She’s already dead. Come help anyway.”

The woman in question was not already dead, but dying – she was in her late teens, seventeen or eighteen at most, and she was in labor. From the glassiness of her eyes, the redness of her cheeks, and the threadiness of her pulse, it was clear that infection had long ago set in. It was not an exaggeration to say she was dead, little better than a corpse.

She was little more than a child.

“I don’t want her to die alone,” the old woman said. “But if you stay with her, I can use the time to try to take care of the rest. You’re not wrong, I suppose – the children, at least, deserve a chance to live on, even if it means leaving our surname behind.”

Lan Qiren looked down at the woman, unconscious already and unlikely to ever wake, and yet still whimpering. “And her child?”

The old woman looked surprised. “Can a child born like this still live?”

Lan Qiren had almost no medical training beyond the most superficial basics that were the necessity for any battlefield or night-hunt, with one sole exception: he had supervised the births of both his nephews by himself with little aid – his brother’s wife hadn’t wanted anyone else to be present, possibly in an attempt to prematurely enter her grave, possibly just out of spite. He had studied very hard in the days leading up to those births, and knew far more on the subject than most men did.

“It’s possible,” he said. “Unlikely, but – possible.”

He hesitated for a long moment.

“I can take the baby,” he finally said. “Pass him off as some war-orphan child of distant Lan cousins, sent to me on account of their deaths. I could raise him, or else give him to my cousin to raise; he’s got a large enough family that no one would question it.”

“Why would you do that?”

Lan Qiren looked at the woman who was dying, little more than a child herself. “Because of the children I can’t help.”

The old woman was quiet for a little while.

“Very well,” she said, and leaned forward to whisper the name the young woman had thought about for her child into his ear. “That works with Lan as a surname, wouldn’t it? That’s not bad.”

“Not bad at all,” Lan Qiren agreed, and rolled up his sleeves, settling down beside the girl. “Not bad at all.”

#mdzs #lan wangji #jiang cheng #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #lan qiren #original characters #my fic #my fics #children's day #some untamed elements

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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years ago

Text

Survivor

Jiang Cheng is bone deep exhausted and the only thought on his mind is to finally get some sleep. He has endured his siblings fawning over him and healers from two different Sects checking him over even though he told them all again and again that he’s fine and now he just wants to sleep.

It’s been a long, long day.

The tiniest bit of tension seeps out of his shoulders when his tent comes into view and he releases a breath of relief when he finally steps into it, only for him to whip out Zidian when he realizes that there’s someone in here with him.

“It’s just me,” Nie Mingjue says, his hands raised, but staying right where he is and Jiang Cheng slumps.

“Don’t fucking do shit like that,” he snaps at him, because he’s tired and cranky and Nie Mingjue really should know better.

They are at war. You simply don’t sneak up on anyone but especially not on someone who has been ambushed that same day.

“What are you doing here?” Jiang Cheng wants to know as Nie Mingjue walks up to him.

“I was worried about you,” Nie Mingjue admits as he pulls Jiang Cheng into a hug and Jiang Cheng immediately melts into him.

It’s a good place to be, exhaustion be damned, and they stay like that for a long time.

“’m tired,” Jiang Cheng finally slurs out and he feels Nie Mingjue nod.

“We’ll get you to bed,” he says and gently pushes Jiang Cheng towards his bed. “Are you hurt?” he asks and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“Shouldn’t you know? I seem to recall that besides my healers some other healers were there as well. I would think they reported back to their Sect Leader.”

He’s not really mad, despite the bite in his tone, but he nevertheless enjoys it when Nie Mingjue blushes slightly.

“I was worried,” he repeats, his tone defensive, and Jiang Cheng can’t deny that something warm and tingly unfurls in his chest.

“I was worried, too,” Jiang Cheng admits, because while he couldn’t say this to his siblings, he thinks that maybe he can tell Nie Mingjue about it.

He will understand.

“There was a moment where I thought—I was very worried,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and he tenses when he remembers the fight, the screams, the panic, the blood. So much blood.

It wasn’t his first fight, wasn’t even his fifth or tenth one, but it has never been this close.

“But you got them all out, right?” Nie Mingjue asks, coming up behind Jiang Cheng, hugging him to his chest.

“The healers are not sure if two of them will make it through the night,” Jiang Cheng chokes out and Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to his head.

“But you got them out. That’s what matters for now. You got all of them out of there alive. Now it’s up to them. But you gave them a chance. You’re a survivor,” Nie Mingjue lowly tells him and Jiang Cheng spins around in his arms to bury his face in his neck.

“It doesn’t feel like something I should be proud of,” he mutters. “They caught us off guard.”

“And you fought and you won. You made it out and they didn’t. That’s all that matters,” Nie Mingjue says again and Jiang Cheng notes the slight tremor in his voice.

When he pulls back to give Nie Mingjue a questioningly look he is completely caught off guard by the soft look on Nie Mingjue’s face.

“I was so worried,” he says, for the third time that evening and Jiang Cheng can’t help it, he simply has to pull him in for a kiss.

He was worried, too. Worried and terrified and angry and exhausted. But he knew he had to fight or they would all die, and so he fought as hard as he never did before.

And now he’s crashing.

“I need to sleep,” Jiang Cheng says when they part and it earns him a kiss to his cheekbone.

“Then we’ll sleep,” Nie Mingjue decides and swiftly gets Jiang Cheng out of his outer robe, before he strips himself.

Normally, this would lead to very fun activities, but Jiang Cheng is so tired he can barely even appreciate the fact that Nie Mingjue is mostly undressed in his own tent, and so he simply climbs into bed.

Nie Mingjue is right behind him and as soon as they laid down, he pulls Jiang Cheng into his chest again.

“I’m so glad you came back,” Nie Mingjue whispers into his hair and Jiang Cheng turns around again so that he can curl into Nie Mingjue’s chest.

“Me too,” Jiang Cheng says, pressing small kisses to every part of Nie Mingjue that he can reach.

Nie Mingjue presses kiss after kiss to his head and Jiang Cheng is exhausted enough that he almost immediately drifts off.

“I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you,” Nie Mingjue whispers, so quiet that Jiang Cheng almost misses it and his last conscious thought is that this doesn’t sound like they are just fuck-buddies anymore.

He falls asleep with a smile.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng knows what Nie Mingjue is going to say before he even opens his mouth. He can see it in his eyes, can see it in the way Nie Mingjue makes even more of an effort to stay straight and come off as stern, makes an effort to keep himself closed off and away from Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng isn’t quite sure when it happened but over the last few weeks he learned to read Nie Mingjue.

And what he reads now is going to break Jiang Cheng’s heart, he just knows it.

“I think we should end it here,” Nie Mingjue says, and despite how predictable it is, despite the fact that he expected this, Jiang Cheng’s world feels like it’s going to shatter.

“I see,” he still gives back despite how he’s working his jaw in an effort to not beg Nie Mingjue to not do this.

He will not beg anyone. And especially not Nie Mingjue when he so clearly doesn’t want Jiang Cheng anymore.

They both deserve better than that.

“It was a war fling. It happens, but it also ends,” Nie Mingjue goes on and even though Jiang Cheng promised himself he would be calm he can’t do it.

Not when Nie Mingjue sounds like this didn’t mean anything at all to him.

“I said I see,” he snaps at Nie Mingjue who falls silent. “I’m not stupid, and I’m not deaf. I heard you the first time.”

“Oh,” Nie Mingjue says but then he nods. “We’ll be fellow Sect Leaders then, and nothing more.”

“It’s not like you would have had time for me anyway, what with your two new brothers and all,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says and he tries very hard not to think about the fact that he had hoped for a bond with Nie Mingjue himself.

A very different one than Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen now have with him but it’s very clear that that is never going to happen now.

Yunmeng Jiang will have to fend for themselves going on, just like they always did.

“I wish you the best,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say before Nie Mingjue can say something to that, even though he feels like crying or screaming or both.

“If you need something—” Nie Mingjue starts, but Jiang Cheng cuts him off.

“Thank you for the kind offer, Sect Leader Nie,” he presses out, overly stiff and formal, and he forces himself into a bow. “Goodbye.”

He turns around without waiting for a response from Nie Mingjue and he has to clench his jaw to keep back the tears.

Jiang Cheng thought that they had a good thing, despite how it was first formed out of mutual terror of the war and grief for their lost people and pent up energy from the fights. He thought they had made something more of it, something that allowed for soft touches and sweet promises, but clearly he had been wrong. Naive and wrong, like always, Jiang Cheng scoffs at himself, because of course he would interpret something more into this when all it was to Nie Mingjue was a convenience.

And going on, Nie Mingjue won’t have much time for conveniences anymore, not with how he’s the hero of this war and with the new bonds he’ll have to form.

But it’s fine, it’s fine. Jiang Cheng will just—he’ll just go on, like he did numerous times already.

If not even the death of his whole world could break him then a broken heart should be nothing.

It will be fine.

~*~*~

“Did something happen?” Jiang Yanli asks him when he sits down for dinner, clearly reading Jiang Cheng’s bad temper but Jiang Cheng really isn’t in the mood to lay out his stupid heartbreak to his sister, however understanding she would be.

It’s still too fresh.

“Where’s Wei Wuxian?” he instead snaps out, because he’s missing again and Jiang Cheng might have tolerated it when they were still at war, but that’s over now and Wei Wuxian will have to fall back into his role as Jiang Cheng’s second in command.

No more running off on his own.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Wei Wuxian calls out, lazily strolling into the room as if he has all the time in the world and it does nothing to lift Jiang Cheng’s mood.

“Where have you been?” he demands to know but Wei Wuxian only gives him that infuriating smile as he twirls his flute.

Jiang Cheng is too tired to even berate him over the lack of his sword.

“Here and there,” he gives back and Jiang Yanli hides her giggle behind her sleeve.

“And Lan Wangji?” she coyly asks and Jiang Cheng has to watch as his brother goes all suspiciously shifty.

“Ah, shijie, don’t be mean now. You know how nagging and annoying Lan Zhan can be,” Wei Wuxian says, but he doesn’t deny that he was with him.

And that’s enough for Jiang Cheng.

He will not have Lan Wangji of all people ruin his brother’s strenuous reputation any more.

“I am expecting a proper courtship,” Jiang Cheng says, effectively cutting whatever Wei Wuxian was about to say next off and Jiang Cheng can’t deny that he has to bite back a laugh when Wei Wuxian stares with wide eyes at him.

“A what now?” he repeats, because clearly his hearing took a turn for the worse and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“A proper courtship. I will not let Lan Wangji disrespect you like this. Either he is serious about this or he can stop right now.”

“But—Lan Zhan and I—what are you even talking about?” Wei Wuxian asks, trying to laugh his confusion off and Jiang Cheng frowns.

“Is he not serious about you?” he wonders, ready to get up and beat some sense into Lan Wangji, but Jiang Yanli’s hand on his arm stops him.

“A-Xian, is he not serious about you or are you not serious about him?” she asks and Jiang Cheng frowns, because that’s not even a possibility he entertained.

Wei Wuxian has been running after Lan Wangji since their time in the Cloud Recesses; if he wasn’t serious about him, he would have stopped long ago like he did with all his other infatuations.

“No one is serious about anyone!” Wei Wuxian exclaims all of a sudden and Jiang Cheng’s eyes go wide.

“Oh,” he breathes out, because he didn’t consider that they had a thing like he and Nie Mingjue did. “I see.”

“I don’t! Why would you even—it’s not like—no one is serious about this, right?” Wei Wuxian asks and his voice is suddenly very quiet and he looks pleadingly between Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng.

“A-Xian, it is rather obvious that Lan Wangji seems to be in love with you,” Jiang Yanli carefully says. “And going by your behaviour we just thought you are, too? Which clearly is fine, it’s just—A-Cheng is right. There should be a proper courtship.”

Wei Wuxian can’t seem to find his words at that, because he keeps staring at them, but finally Jiang Yanli’s words seem to have hit him.

Wei Wuxian gasps and slaps his hand over his mouth, as tears fill his eyes.

“I love him,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare incredulously at him.

“You didn’t know? How the hell could you not know, with how you’re running after him?”

“And he loves me?” Wei Wuxian goes on, as if he didn’t hear Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng wants to snap at him that the fact that Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian is even more obvious but he bites his tongue at the last moment.

He also thought that Nie Mingjue felt more for him than he clearly did, so maybe he isn’t in any position to judge here.

“Of course he loves you,” Jiang Yanli softly says and Jiang Cheng is not prepared for the blinding smile that breaks out on Wei Wuxian’s face.

He didn’t realize it before, but it’s been a long time since Wei Wuxian smiled like this.

One more reason to break Lan Wangji’s entire body, should he hurt Wei Wuxian.

“I have to go,” Wei Wuxian rushes out, already moving and Jiang Cheng doesn’t even have the heart to stop him.

“A courtship!” he still yells after him, because it’s important and Wei Wuxian is liable to forget.

“What an idiot,” he mutters once Wei Wuxian is gone and Jiang Yanli laughs.

“Blinded by love, is what he is,” she gives back with a wistful sigh and Jiang Cheng turns towards her.

If they already are at the topic—

“What about you and the pe—Jin Zixuan?” he wants to know.

Jiang Cheng will probably never like Jin Zixuan, especially not after the last stunt he pulled, but Jiang Yanli always had a soft spot for him and if she still wants to pursue a relationship with him, then Jiang Cheng will support her in this.

“It’s fine, A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli says with a smile but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

He’s tired of Jiang Yanli always doing what’s best for everyone else.

“It’s not. It never was. Just tell me what you really want,” he insists and Jiang Yanli falls silent for a long moment.

“I always liked him,” she finally admits and while Jiang Cheng still wants to punch Jin Zixuan in the face, if this is what his sister wants then he’ll make it happen.

“But not like this. Not if he doesn’t like me back. I don’t want to be—” she bites back her words, but Jiang Cheng still knows what she wanted to say.

It would be disrespectful to the dead though.

“I understand. We’ll do nothing for now, then. If he should show that he has a spine and actually knows how to appreciate you, we can talk about it,” Jiang Cheng decides and is not prepared for the proud look Jiang Yanli throws him.

“You’ve grown so much, A-Cheng,” she softly says and cups his cheek in her hand. “But you should have someone at your side as well.”

“I have you and Wei Wuxian,” he immediately gives back, even though he’s sure that’s not quite what Jiang Yanli means.

“Don’t misunderstand me on purpose,” she gently chides him. “You know what I mean. You should have someone you love and who loves you in return.”

It hits a little bit too close, with how recently Nie Mingjue told him to break it off, and Jiang Cheng jerks his head away from her because he can’t quite hide the bitter twist of his mouth.

“Don’t,” he begs his sister, because he’s not ready to talk about this, not ready to admit that he thought he had that already.

“What about Nie Mingjue?” his sister relentlessly goes on. “I thought it looked like there was something between you. You’ve been meeting frequently.”

“You thought wrong,” he snaps at her and then immediately feels bad when she flinches at his angry tone. “You thought wrong,” he says again, much quieter this time and understanding washes over her face.

“Oh, A-Cheng, I’m sorry,” she says and pulls him into a hug.

Jiang Cheng promised himself that he wouldn’t cry over Nie Mingjue—he needs to be strong and composed for his people—but he can’t remember those reasons when he’s safely in his sister’s arms.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng doesn’t see Wei Wuxian until the next morning, but he has Lan Wangji in tow, who does propose a proper courtship between him and Wei Wuxian, so Jiang Cheng chalks that off as a success.

He allows Lan Wangji to court his right hand man, of course, mostly because he truly wants to see Wei Wuxian happy, but also because it means the Lan Sect can’t quite openly go against them. Jiang Cheng will take any little advantage he can get.

He hates that he has to see Nie Mingjue at the banquet that evening, but he somehow manages a polite bow, before he turns away from him and then he tries to not look at him all night.

It’s harder than it should be and when Jin Guangshan gets up to say something unpleasant, Jiang Cheng is almost grateful for it.

He re-evaluates that when Jin Guangshan brings up a new betrothal between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. Jiang Cheng is glad he talked about this with his sister just yesterday, because he feels so much better shutting Jin Guangshan down now, especially when he can announce Wei Wuxian’s and Lan Wangji’s courtship in the same moment.

That, at least, gets Jin Guangshan to shut up for a while.

Jiang Cheng pretends he doesn’t see the small smile on Nie Mingjue’s face, because it doesn’t only hurt, it also brings out something bitter and mean in Jiang Cheng.

He turns away before the sneer can make it to his face. It does nothing to hide his pain, though.

~*~*~

When Wei Wuxian comes across Wen Qing, he has enough trust in Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng to ask for help before he blows up in everyone’s faces.

Jiang Cheng can’t bring himself to accept them into Yunmeng Jiang, no matter how sorry he is about it and how he can’t quite meet Wen Qing’s eyes when he tells them that, but Lan Wangji promises that he’ll settle them in Gusu Lan, since no one trusts Jin Guangshan when he tells them he can take care of them.

Jiang Cheng didn’t even dare to ask Nie Mingjue for help, and he excuses that with the fact that Lan Wangji offered and that Wei Wuxian was due for a stay there anyway.

He can help them get settled before he and Lan Wangji return to Lotus Pier and it will all work out fine.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng can’t quite hide his surprise when Jin Zixuan is led into the conference room.

“What are you doing here?” Jiang Cheng snaps at him, because he’s not really over how this guy treated his sister and even her reassuring presence at his side does nothing to help calm him down.

“I’m here to—” Jin Zixuan starts and then trails off, his eyes apparently caught by Jiang Yanli.

“Apologise, I hope,” Jiang Cheng finishes for him, because that is the only reason he will excuse his unannounced visit.

“That, yes. And make amends. And—maybe start new?” Jin Zixuan awkwardly finishes and Jiang Cheng raises his eyebrows.

“You want to start new with my sister,” he warningly says, barely believing the gall this guy has.

“If the lady wants it, of course,” Jin Zixuan hastily adds, falling into a deep bow and it allows Jiang Cheng to roll his eyes as Jiang Yanli tries to swallow her giggles.

“A-Cheng,” she says when Jiang Cheng leaves Jin Zixuan in the bow for longer than is really necessary, but he can’t help it.

That guy made his sister cry. He can grovel for a while.

“A-jie,” he questioningly asks, but of course she’s already on her way to Jin Zixuan to ease him out of his bow.

“Where’s your entourage?” she asks him but Jin Zixuan just shakes his head, going bright red in the face.

“There’s only Mianmian,” he tells them and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes again.

“Did you at least leave a letter at home?” he wants to know, because he’s not keen on having the Jin Sect accuse him of stealing Jin Zixuan away.

“I left it in my mother’s room. She should have read it by now,” Jin Zixuan gives back and Jiang Cheng sighs.

It’s clear that Jiang Yanli wants to give him another chance and as long as he behaves Jiang Cheng is willing to give that to his sister.

“Fine. You can stay. But if you even so much as stick one toe out of line, you’re gone again,” he promises him and Jin Zixuan’s hair flies, he’s nodding so hard.

Jiang Cheng just hopes that he’ll do better this time around. His sister deserves some happiness, too.

~*~*~

When Lan Wangji writes him that he and Wei Wuxian are on their way to Lotus Pier, bringing Wen Qing and Wen Ning, dread settles in Jiang Cheng’s gut.

The letter speaks of something urgent, something they have to discuss, something Jiang Cheng needs to know, and he’s not looking forward to that conversation no matter what it is.

It turns out his instinct was right when he learns about Wei Wuxian’s core—his own now—and demonic cultivation and how it’s killing Wei Wuxian and how it could all still blow up in their faces.

That conversation rivals the one he had with Nie Mingjue in terms in how desperately he wants to forget it, but he pushes through anyway.

He has to figure out how to help his brother.

~*~*~

It’s almost to the day a year after the end of the Sunshot Campaign when Nie Huaisang arrives in Lotus Pier, with little fanfare and without anyone accompanying him.

It puts Jiang Cheng on edge, despite Wei Wuxian’s reminder that they all used to be friends.

He thinks he’s proven right when Nie Huaisang asks for a private audience, with just Jiang Cheng.

“Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang greets him and Jiang Cheng let’s the bitterness get the better of him.

“That’s Jiang-zhongzhu to you,” he snaps out and immediately feels bad when Nie Huaisang flicks his fan open in a defensive motion.

“I am not my brother,” Nie Huaisang presses out before he sighs. “I hoped we are still friends,” he adds and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng feel guilty.

“We are,” he gives back with a sigh of his own. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” Jiang Cheng apologizes and then invites Nie Huaisang to sit down with him.

“You’re stressed,” Nie Huaisang observes and Jiang Cheng snorts.

“I don’t have that many relations with the Nie’s,” Jiang Cheng gives back and Nie Huaisang winces.

“Yeah, that’s my brother’s fault,” he says and gives Jiang Cheng a meaningful look.

So he knows what they had. Great.

“What brings you here, Huaisang?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, though he can already tell that he’s not going to like it much.

“I’m here because of my brother,” Nie Huaisang says and immediately proves Jiang Cheng right.

“I don’t talk to Nie-zhongzhu, in case you didn’t notice,” Jiang Cheng snaps out and Nie Huaisang laughs lightly.

“Oh, I definitely noticed. I especially noticed that you two stopped talking right after we won the war. He wouldn’t tell me why, though, until a few days ago.”

“It’s not that hard to figure out, Huaisang. He didn’t like me enough to keep talking to me,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug and he doesn’t even care that he sounds bitter.

He is bitter. Let Nie Huaisang know, what does he care.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Nie Huaisang says and hides behind his fan again. “Though it’s what he said to me as well. It’s a lie though.”

That makes Jiang Cheng freeze.

“What?”

“It’s a lie. He wouldn’t tell me the real reason until a few days ago, when he suffered a qi deviation. Not enough to kill him or even seriously injure him, but. It was still bad,” Nie Huaisang lowly says and Jiang Cheng can’t help the worry in his gut.

He wishes he could have just forgotten Nie Mingjue, could have found someone else to give all these feelings to, but he still wakes up more nights than not, searching for someone in his bed who is no longer there and hasn’t been for longer than he could ever be found in Jiang Cheng’s bed in the first place.

Sometimes he scoffs at himself for how ridiculous it is to keep wishing for something that was just such a brief moment in his life, but he can’t help it.

He loves Nie Mingjue, still, and it hurts. It never stopped.

“How is he?” Jiang Cheng forces himself to ask, because he can’t even imagine anything happening to Nie Mingjue or it will drive him insane.

“Not too well. Shaken, like we all are,” Nie Huaisang admits. “But it brought out some truths. He’s dying, Wanyin. He’s dying and he knew it a year ago. It’s the reason he broke up with you.”

Jiang Cheng blinks a few times because that is just too much information at once. His stomach drops when he registers that Nie Mingjue is apparently dying but his heart picks up when he thinks about how Nie Huaisang refers to their split as a break up.

“We never were enough to actually break up,” Jiang Cheng forces out, because he needs to make that clear right away.

“Yes, you were,” Nie Huaisang gives back without hesitation. “My brother loved you, I could see it back then and I can see it still. He’s still heartbroken, but he thinks he did you a favour. He has accepted that he’s going to die.”

That doesn’t sound right. He hasn’t seen or spoken to Nie Mingjue in a year now, but he doesn’t strike him as someone who would simply accept death as the inevitable outcome.

“Why would he?”

“It’s a family thing and no one could find a solution yet. Er-ge is trying with musical cultivation but I’m not sure how well that’s going. But Wanyin, please, that’s not—we can talk about this later. Did you hear what else I said? He loves you.”

Jiang Cheng did actually hear that, he just doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with that, even though his heart is telling him very clearly what to do.

“I heard you,” he whispers, though it’s still hard to believe.

Nie Mingjue didn’t look like he loved him when he told him they should end it.

“What are you going to do about it?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and Jiang Cheng huffs out a disbelieving laugh.

“Are you here because I you think I can help your brother?”

“Well—” Nie Huaisang drawls out but then he shakes his head when Jiang Cheng throws him a look. “Not only, okay? Yes, if you are inclined to help, that would be great, I don’t actually want da-ge to die. But I also just want him to be happy, no matter if you can help or not. I didn’t know why he broke up with you but now I do and it’s just so—so stupid! And I’ve been talking to Wei Wuxian a bit and Jin Zixuan too, and they said you don’t seem to be happy or looking for someone else and I just thought you both deserved to be happy.”

Jiang Cheng can do nothing but gape at him, because he didn’t actually think Nie Huaisang cared that much but it seems he was wrong.

“He—loves me still?” Jiang Cheng manages to ask and his heart does a funny thing when Nie Huaisang nods.

“What about you?” Nie Huaisang lowly asks and Jiang Cheng can’t meet his eyes.

He never admitted it before, not to his siblings and certainly not to Nie Mingjue, and it feels wrong to do so to Nie Huaisang now.

“I’ll come back with you,” he says instead of a real answer, but it seems like it’s answer enough anyway, because Nie Huaisang beams at him.

“I knew it,” he whispers but Jiang Cheng can’t find it in him to be mad at him for assuming.

Not if Nie Huaisang is assuming the truth.

~*~*~

“What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue gruffly asks when Nie Huaisang pushes Jiang Cheng into his private room.

Jiang Cheng takes a moment to glare at the now closed door, but then he turns around to Nie Mingjue. Nie Huaisang has warned him, but Jiang Cheng is still surprised how shitty Nie Mingjue looks; he lost weight and there are circle under his eyes that weren’t even present during the war, when none of them got any good sleep, ever.

It really must eat away at him.

“I’m here to help,” Jiang Cheng says and before he can add that he’s here for maybe something more, too, Nie Mingjue abruptly turns away from him.

“There’s nothing you can do,” Nie Mingjue shortly tells him but Jiang Cheng will not be so easily brushed off.

“Bullshit,” he says and it startles Nie Mingjue enough to turn around to him.

“Excuse me?”

“I said bullshit, you heard me quite well,” Jiang Cheng repeats and angrily crosses his arms in front of his chest.

It’s not the first time since the war that he has seen Nie Mingjue, but it’s the first time that they are speaking like this and Jiang Cheng is more nervous than he would like to admit.

“Oh? And what are you going to do that my Sect hasn’t yet tried, huh?” Nie Mingjue bitingly asks, but Jiang Cheng isn’t fazed by that.

“We found a way to deal with Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation. We found a way to restore a destroyed core. I think we can find a solution for your qi deviation problem,” Jiang Cheng gives back, matching Nie Mingjue in tone and he has to admit he enjoys the dumb-founded look on his face.

“You did what?” Nie Mingjue breathes out. “Restoring a core is impossible.”

“So is transplanting a core but here I am, core and all. I think between Wen Qing’s genius, Wei Wuxian’s unorthodox thinking and my stubbornness, we can make it work.”

“You have a transplanted core?” Nie Mingjue asks, frown on his face but Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“That’s not important right now. What’s important is that we can most likely help you.”

“Most likely,” Nie Mingjue tonelessly gives back.

“Do not be like that,” Jiang Cheng warns him. “Do not reject this opportunity just because it might not work. There’s more chance that it will.”

“But you can’t promise it,” Nie Mingjue says and it sounds so final, as if he’s already made his peace with dying.

Jiang Cheng would even believe it if he wouldn’t look so haunted.

“No one can promise that and yet we still go out on night hunts,” he gives back, because he will not allow Nie Mingjue to reject this chance.

“That’s different,” Nie Mingjue says but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“It’s not,” he says but he can see how Nie Mingjue closes himself off. “Do you really want Nie Huaisang to watch you die without even trying?”

That brings Nie Mingjue up short.

“You talked to Huaisang.”

“Yes. And he had some interesting things to say, besides the fact that you have qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng says and now the nerves settle back in.

It’s one thing to have Nie Huaisang tell him that Nie Mingjue still loves him. It’s another to confront Nie Mingjue about it.

“That little rascal,” Nie Mingjue mutters under his breath. “It doesn’t matter,” he then says louder and Jiang Cheng stomach drops, though he doesn’t allow it to crush him, not like the last time they talked.

He likes to think he has grown as a person.

“Doesn’t it?”

“I am dying. You already lost so much. I’m not going to add to that,” Nie Mingjue says, though he can’t quite meet Jiang Cheng’s eyes as he does.

Jiang Cheng can even see where he’s coming from, but it doesn’t change the fact that Nie Mingjue broke his heart a year ago.

“You could have just been honest,” Jiang Cheng lowly says. “And you could let me help now.”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if we—try, all of it, and it doesn’t work?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng can see how scared he truly is.

“Then at least we tried,” Jiang Cheng says and he decides to be brave and bold and he simply steps forwards and hugs Nie Mingjue. “At least I know I tried everything I could. At least we’ll have however long the tries will give us. It’s better than nothing, than knowing we could have done something—could have been something—but didn’t dare to take that step.”

Nie Mingjue is completely rigid in his arms but Jiang Cheng is not going to let him go so easily. He believed Nie Mingjue’s lies once; he’s not going to do it again.

“Let us try,” Jiang Cheng whispers after a long moment and Nie Mingjue slumps in his arms.

“I didn’t think you’d—I wasn’t very nice,” Nie Mingjue admits and Jiang Cheng has to snort at that, because it’s a bit of an understatement.

“You broke my heart,” Jiang Cheng admits and he can feel how Nie Mingjue jerks. “It—never really mended, either. I could never forget you. I still want—” he takes a deep breath.

He didn’t realize being honest would be so difficult.

“I still love you,” he forces out, because he will not let them walk away without being honest to each other this time.

The words barely left his mouth when Nie Mingjue’s arms come up around him and crush him to his chest.

“I’m so sorry for what I said back then,” Nie Mingjue mumbles into his hair and Jiang Cheng’s knees go a little bit weak when he realizes what this means.

What Nie Mingjue feels for him.

“It hurt,” Jiang Cheng admits and Nie Mingjue makes a pained noise. “I see now why you did it, back then, even though I truly don’t like it or think it was the right decision,” Jiang Cheng says and he frowns when Nie Mingjue pushes him away.

His face goes soft when Nie Mingjue cups his cheek in his hand.

“You’ve grown so much,” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng flushes when he hears the awe in his voice. “And I love you,” Nie Mingjue tells him, before he leans in for a kiss.

Jiang Cheng falls into it—he didn’t realize how much he truly missed Nie Mingjue—but it ends all too soon.

“I will accept your help,” Nie Mingjue mumbles against his lips and Jiang Cheng huffs out a laugh.

“You better accept my courtship too, you buffoon, because I’ll not let you get away a second time,” he decides and watches as Nie Mingjue blinks at him.

“We don’t know if you can find a solution,” he cautiously says but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter if we do or don’t,” he tells him, even though just the thought of Nie Mingjue dying is almost killing him. “I want this with you, regardless of that.”

“You’re always so much stronger than I give you credit for,” Nie Mingjue mumbles and rests their foreheads together.

“You better remember that,” Jiang Cheng warns him, because if he has to he will out-stubborn death itself for Nie Mingjue.

“I promise,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng believes him.

And now that they managed to take this step, Jiang Cheng is going to make Nie Mingjue live long enough to grow tired of him.

(It never happens; they both cultivate to immortality and Nie Mingjue regularly teases Jiang Cheng that he’s still waiting for the day when he gets tired of his husband, his heart, his entire world. Jiang Cheng never really learns to handle that and he never grows out of his blush.)

Jin Zixuan courts the hell out of Jiang Yanli and decides to stay in Lotus Pier and marry in instead, since Jin Guangyao is such a perfect heir anyways. It curbs Jin Guangyao's more murderous urges. Mianmian accompanies Wangxian to the Wen establishment in Gusu and never quite leaves again before she becomes the Second Lady Wen. Wangxian still adopt A-Yuan. Xuanli still get A-Ling.

Everyone lives and no one dies because I said so.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #mingcheng #the untamed #mdzs #canon divergence #break up #temporary though #getting back together #love confessions #meddling brothers #core reveal #fix-it #everyone post sunshot campaign lives #hurt/comfort #fluff

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trilliastra · 3 years ago

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[did someone order a wangxian fic with side jiang cheng being forever annoyed because his older brother is so dumb?]

When Jiang Cheng looks up, his mouth half-opened with the intention of giving his brother a piece of his mind for being late again, he finds Lan Wangji staring at him with a confused expression.

“Jiang Cheng.” The other man says, slowly, sliding on the chair across from Jiang Cheng when the waitress gestures for him to sit down. They both watch as she comes back with wine and a plate of crackers and fucking caviar. Jiang Cheng hates wine, but he hates being the centre of attention even more, so he takes a sip of the drink and promptly ignores Lan Wangji until the waitress leaves.

“Did Wei Wuxian invite you, too?”

Lan Zhan nods, slowly. He does not touch the wine.

“He did not say you’d be here.”

“Funny,” Jiang Cheng mutters between gritted teeth. It isn’t funny at all, “he didn’t say you’d be here either.”

The waitress comes back with a plate of oysters and Jiang Cheng watches Lan Wangji’s eyebrow twitch.

What the fuck.

“You-” Jiang Cheng slams the door open, stalks inside his brother’s house with every intention of killing him, only to immediately come to a stop when he finds Wei Wuxian stuffing his mouth with ice cream, “are you fucking kidding me?”

“Jiang Cheng,” he drops the tube of ice cream on the coffee table, trying to hide his red eyes from Jiang Cheng, “why are you here?”

“Why are you here?” Jiang Cheng gives back, hands shaking with anger and humiliation and – most likely – hunger. “You invited Lan Wangji for dinner on the same restaurant, at the same time, you invited me to, and then you stood both of us up? Do you have a death wish?”

“It’s your favorite restaurant!” Wei Wuxian whines, raising his hands. “I thought I was doing you a favor!”

“A favor.” Jiang Cheng repeats, incredulous. “A favor.” Wei Wuxian, in a complete out-of-character gesture, nods seriously, eyes lacking all the mirth Jiang Cheng is used to seeing. He does not know what to make of this.

“Did you confess your feelings?” His brother asks.

“My feelings.” Jiang Cheng mouths, looking around the room for hidden cameras, perhaps expecting Nie Huaisang to come out of a closet yelling ‘gotcha’. When nothing happens, he searches his brain for a clue, a memory, anything that might explain what is happening right now. “My feelings—” he repeats, slowly, “for Lan Wangji.” Wei Wuxian nods, earnest.

Jiang Cheng throws his shoe at him.

“You always talk when we meet! Ouch!”

“That’s called being polite, you dipshit. Do you ever use your brain to think?”

“You said he’s smart and pretty and—Jiang Cheng, not the hair!”

“It was an honest mistake!” Wei Wuxian protests, wiping the blood of the corner of his mouth. They haven’t fought like this since they were fifteen, seventeen maybe, but he regrets nothing, the idiot deserved it. Jiang Cheng is still not entirely against the idea of locking him inside a room with Fairy.

“It was a dumb mistake.” Jiang Cheng growls. “You’re the one who always drags me along to your weekly lunch dates. It’s not like I enjoy watching him make heart-eyes at you.”

Wei Wuxian blinks, bewildered. “We don’t—I don’t—he—”

Jiang Cheng tackles his brother to the floor again.

“He doesn’t.” Wei Wuxian says, lying down next to Jiang Cheng on the floor.

“He does.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, wincing when he touches his jaw. He’s gonna be sore tomorrow and Wei Wuxian will definitely be sporting a black eye this weekend. Their sister will kill them.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“He’s your best friend.” Jiang Cheng says. When Wei Wuxian doesn’t answer, Jiang Cheng risks a glance at his brother and sighs when he finds him pensive. “Hey,” he pokes him on the ribs, making Wei Wuxian squirm, “you don’t have to like him back, you know.” Wei Wuxian nods, slowly, and though his face doesn’t show any kind of emotion, Jiang Cheng sees it anyway.

His brother is the smartest idiot in the world.

“You self-sacrificing dumbass.” Wei Wuxian snorts, humorless, at his words, and if Jiang Cheng wasn’t so tired from all the wrestling they did minutes ago, he would have started pulling at his hair again. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“He’s my best friend!” Wei Wuxian protests.

“And he could be your boyfriend as well!”

“But—what if it doesn’t—”

“So, what? You’re not even going to try?” Jiang Cheng says. “You’re just gonna keep lying at him? Playing matchmaker until he finds someone he wants to share oysters with?” He watches as Wei Wuxian’s eyes widen in surprise. “Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?” He teases. “You should try to set him up with Huaisang next, I bet he’d love to take Lan Wangji to that hotel next to the restaurant—”

It’s Wei Wuxian’s turn to hit him with a pillow.

“I love you.” Wei Wuxian says, sniffling against Lan Wangji’s shoulder. Jiang Cheng sighs from his spot on the couch, holding a package of frozen peas on his split lip.

This is ridiculous. His brother is ridiculous. Lan Wangji seems to love him like this thought, good for them.

“Thanks.” Wei Wuxian tells him when Jiang Cheng announces he’s leaving. They haven’t started making out yet, thank God, but that’s mostly because Lan Wangji has some shame. Wei Wuxian was born shameless, the idiot.

“For what?” Jiang Cheng gives back. “Punching some sense into you, or stealing your phone and calling him—” he indicates Lan Wangji with his head, “while you were eating more ice cream?”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. From his place next to Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji rolls his eyes as well. They deserve each other. “Both, I guess.”

Jiang Cheng shrugs. “I’m telling our sister you punched me first.”

When Wei Wuxian laughs, loud and carefree, Jiang Cheng smiles back.

#wangxian #lan wangji x wei wuxian #wei wuxian x lan wangji #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #my fic

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ibijau · 3 years ago

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Jin Rusong Lives pt12 / On AO3

Nie Huaisang discovers that it's not easy to kiss a pretty man when you have a job to do

When he was very young, a year or so after the death of their father, Nie Huaisang had wondered about his brother being single. Since he’d personally been something of a brat, and none too impressed with the changes that circumstances had forced upon his brother, he had come to the conclusion that Nie Mingjue just wasn’t nice enough for anyone to like him that way.

Nie Huaisang, moved by pity, had promised his brother that he would stay with him all his life, but only if Nie Mingjue never made him attend sabre practice again. His noble sacrifice had been met with indifference, and Nie Mingjue had just sent him to train anyway, proving that he definitely was the hardest, coldest, least lovable person in the world, and deserved to be single.

Some years later, Nie Huaisang had once more wondered why his brother was yet unmarried. At that time, he had been mostly concerned by the fact that made him heir to Qinghe Nie’s leadership, a most horrible realisation to have when he only wished to enjoy his time in Gusu, kiss pretty people, and never learn a single thing in his life.

He had at that time befriended Jiang Cheng, whose views on love and marriage were entirely unlike what Nie Huaisang felt himself. And then, there had also been that list of popular young bachelors. The second proved that Nie Mingjue was desirable, while the first offered the consideration that not everyone longed for a partner. Nie Huaisang had tried to accept his brother the way he accepted his friend, though it annoyed him that he'd have to be the one producing an heir. He’d already started taking notice of Lan Xichen around then, and no girl in the world could have been even half as beautiful.

Later still, after the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang once again reconsidered his opinion regarding Nie Mingjue’s situation. His brother wasn't quite as cold as he pretended, and it happened sometimes that he would let his gaze linger on a pretty girl, though never long enough to be noticed. Some of those girls would have made fine mistresses for the Unclean Realm, and could have given Nie Mingjue the heir which would ensure Nie Huaisang would never have to be sect leader.

But as Nie Mingjue's temper deteriorated in the years leading to his death, after witnessing the violence with which he lost his life, the same violence their father had shown in his last moments, Nie Huaisang formed a new theory; if Nie Mingjue had never married, it was because he was scared of hurting others.

For a decade, Nie Huaisang satisfied himself with that theory. It went well with the image he had of his brother, noble and self sacrificing. It also helped rekindle his hatred of Jin Guangyao by reminding him that it was his actions that had robbed Nie Mingjue of the loving family he deserved. But the truth, Nie Huaisang was now realising, might have been more simple than that.

It was just so damn complicated to have a sentimental life as a sect leader, and even more so while raising a child.

Little Jin Rusong, bless him, was the sweetest child in the world, polite, obedient, affectionate. Considering how difficult his presence made things, Nie Huaisang felt immense sympathy for his late brother, who'd had to deal with a hellspawn like himself. Nie Mingjue might have thought that his little brother would embarrass him or throw a fit out of jealousy if he tried to flirt with anyone… and Nie Huaisang couldn't deny he would have taken great joy in doing just that.

At least, Jin Rusong meant no harm when he'd cried out just as Nie Huaisang, after a decade of hopelessness, was about to be kissed again by the man he loved. With the rough evening he'd had, the little boy also couldn't be blamed for being worried about falling asleep alone, so that had ended any chance for Nie Huaisang to have more time with Lan Xichen right then.

In the morning, Nie Huaisang had the pleasant surprise of seeing Lan Xichen enter the room at the same time as the servant who brought breakfast. Although they usually dined together these days, to spend breakfast together was entirely new.

"I have been awake for a while," Lan Xichen explained before Nie Huaisang could ask a single question. "Even here I usually follow our rules and…"

He trailed off, a touch of red blooming on his cheeks as he stared a moment at Nie Huaisang, before promptly averting his eyes. Perhaps he remembered that he’d boldly offered to break some of those rules only the night before. Nie Huaisang certainly hadn’t forgotten.

"I was awake and thought I'd come see you," Lan Xichen quickly finished. "I hope you don't mind?"

"I'm always happy to have you in my room," Nie Huaisang retorted, delighted to see the other man's blush deepen. He'd missed flirting. It had been a long while since he'd done that, and he felt rusty, but he was sure Lan Xichen would be forgiving.

The three of them sat down for breakfast. Nie Huaisang, quite innocently, tried to sit next to Lan Xichen rather than Jin Rusong, but the child protested against that, saying he wanted to be sitting close to Lan Xichen. He then proceeded to also monopolise the conversation, clearly delighted to have both of his uncles at his disposal. Both men still attempted to flirt a little, but eventually had to give up and settle for exchanging fond looks over the table.

When breakfast was over, Nie Huaisang helped Jin Rusong get dressed and ready for his day while Lan Xichen watched. They all three went to the classroom, and as they walked Lan Xichen stood a little too close, causing his hand to brush against Nie Huaisang every so often. At least, he did so until Jin Rusong grabbed both their hands, seeming in an excellent mood that morning and determined to enjoy both his uncles at once.

When Jin Rusong had been handed to his teacher, there was a brief moment of awkwardness. Nie Huaisang stood silent near the classroom door, suddenly as nervous as a teenager with a crush. His only comfort was to see Lan Xichen equally anxious.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Lan Xichen suggested. “We could…” he hesitated, pink dusting his face, and finished miserably: “we could walk.”

“I’d love to walk,” Nie Huaisang replied with too much eagerness.

Lan Xichen smiled, looking more shy and uncertain than he’d done the previous night. Nie Huaisang also found it harder to think about renewing their old connection, now that it was light around them. Without darkness to soften the world around them, he could remember every reason he’d given ten years earlier to argue against their little romance, every fear of a political disaster, of blackmail if they were discovered, of losing the last true friend he had. And yet even like that, Nie Huaisang knew he could not resist his feelings, not this time.

He was tired of denying himself the things he wanted, he thought as he reached out to take Lan Xichen’s hand.

And that was when Nie Funyu found them, and scolded Nie Huaisang for forgetting that he’d agreed to see a local magistrate that morning about a series of mysterious disappearances in a nearby town. The magistrate in question had been waiting for a while already, and was quite unhappy about it. Nie Huaisang had no choice but to follow his first disciple, and could not even offer Lan Xichen a chance for a lunch together, as it had already been agreed he would eat with that magistrate.

“Duty comes first,” Lan Xichen said with a thin smile that lacked its usual warmth.

It was a comfort, Nie Huaisang supposed, to know that he wasn’t the only one irritated by this unexpected interruption.

The meeting with that magistrate went well. Once the situation was explained, Nie Huaisang offered different ways to deal with it, so that some important people who appeared involved would not be offended if they were innocent, nor allowed a chance to escape he’d they’d done something nefarious. The magistrate appeared satisfied by the solution offered, as well as by the meal. Sadly, the man was of a curious nature, and hinted very strongly that he would like to be given a tour of the Unclean Realm, admitting he was fascinated with cultivation, though lacking any talent himself.

Nie Huaisang had no choice but to show him around. This, in turn, meant that the amount of work he would normally have done during the afternoon piled up. Even when the magistrate had left, Nie Huaisang found himself busy with correspondence, before having to give some lessons to the juniors, as Nie Funyu occasionally insisted he did, “so the little ones know who you are, zongzhu”.

Then some other business came up, so that by the time Nie Huaisang was finally free to join Lan Xichen and Jin Rusong for dinner, they were almost done eating and he was exhausted. Even if he’d still had the energy to think of flirting, Jin Rusong happened to be in a chatty and joyful mood, demanding to play, and Nie Huaisang had to oblige until both of them were too sleepy to go on. Lan Xichen was very graceful about it, and offered to keep Jin Rusong for the night so that Nie Huaisang had a chance to sleep more deeply.

The offer was immediately taken, and Nie Huaisang stumbled back to his room where he dropped on his bed half dressed, too tired to bother with clothes.

The following day showed promises of more contradictions to Nie Huaisang’s plans. While he would have wanted to finally continue his conversation with Lan Xichen, as soon as he was done with his breakfast, some juniors came to find him to complain about a problem they were having. Someone’s cousin had said something about someone else’s fiancée, who happened to be close friends with the young master of a small sect who now threatened everyone with a duel.

It was only a small dispute, but Nie Huaisang had seen what happened to arguments allowed to fester, so he gave the situation his full attention and wrote right away to some of the people concerned in an attempt to make everyone calm down. But then, since he had gone to his office to write those letters, Nie Funyu found him there and took the chance to make him review some bills that he thought were not quite right.

It was nearly noon when Lan Xichen knocked on the door of Nie Huaisang’s office. He appeared slightly disappointed to find that Nie Huaisang was not alone, which Nie Huaisang thought funny. Nie Funyu did not share his amusement, and his mood turned sour when Lan Xichen asked if he might keep them company. Nie Huaisang promptly agreed, which annoyed his first disciple. It would take a while until Nie Funyu no longer resented Lan Xichen for his former friendship with Jin Guangyao, but he would have to get over it. Nie Huaisang intended to keep Lan Xichen in his life.

He just wished they could have half a shichen to themselves to decide how to make that work.

An impossible wish, it seemed.

Still, at long last, lunch time came to free Nie Huaisang from his work. Not only that, but he knew that Nie Funyu was teaching all afternoon, meaning it would be that much easier to avoid work for a little while.

Lunch was unmemorable. Some elders insisted that Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen eat with them, complaining that their sect leader had neglected them lately. It was not entirely untrue, but Nie Huaisang wished he could have neglected those elders today too. It wasn't even possible to chat with Lan Xichen in such company, though since they were sitting next to each other, their hands accidentally touched frequently.

After they were done eating, Nie Huaisang promptly asked Lan Xichen if he would mind checking something with him in his quarter. Just as quickly, Lan Xichen agreed, and they both walked there a little more quickly than was dignified for two sect leaders, worried about more interruptions.

There were none. Nobody stopped them on their way to Nie Huaisang’s quarters, and they were allowed to finally be alone together again. Nie Huaisang felt like a mischievous teenager trying to escape parental supervision to get naughty with their crush. He found that he quite enjoyed that. He hadn’t felt this young in years.

"I'm glad you're taking your duties more seriously, but surely your sect can function without you sometimes," Lan Xichen said as they closed the door behind them.

His voice warried with such petulance that Nie Huaisang almost laughed.

"Xichen, were you getting impatient maybe?" came the teasing answer.

A slight frown appeared on Lan Xichen's face, before he stepped closer and took Nie Huaisang’s hand.

"Yes, I was."

He said it so simply, as if it were evident. Perhaps it was, after having waited so many years for this. Nie Huaisang was hardly any better. Patience had been his main quality for a while, but now he was tired of waiting.

"Well, we're here now," he said, breathless. "I'm all yours, Lan Huan."

Lan Xichen shivered at the use of that name, a first between them, and squeezed Nie Huaisang’s hand, with a tender smile on his lips.

That smile disappeared when there was a knock on the door and Lan Xichen glared at it. Nie Huaisang felt just as disappointed, but was starting to find some humour in the situation. He almost laughed as he freed his hand from Lan Xichen's.

Nie Mingjue was well avenged for every bit of trouble his brother had caused him.

“Come in,” Nie Huaisang ordered. “Oh. Jin Yixin, is there a problem?”

Jin Yixin came into the room and bowed with cold elegance, while at her side Jin Rusong tried to copy her posture. He looked very serious, the way he always did around Jin Yixin, clearly trying to impress his teacher and prove that he was a worthy student.

“I come to Nie zongzhu to make a request,” she said. “Some of the concepts I’m trying to explain to the young master would profit from outdoor demonstrations. I was hoping you would allow me to take him outside of the Unclean Realm? I’ve tried using the gardens to make my point, but they are too touched by human minds and it does not work.”

The request made Nie Huaisang frown.

It was nothing particularly strange, Nie teachers also took the younger juniors past the walls of the Unclean Realm sometimes, just for a shichen, to show something about… energies? It might have to do with energies. Nie Huaisang hadn’t paid attention as a child, and he still struggled with some of those concepts as an adult. What he understood, though, was that those concepts were important to cultivate in a solid, healthy manner, and he didn’t want to deprive Jin Rusong of a chance to learn well.

“Where would you go? And when?”

“There is a little field behind the Unclean Realm that’s uncultivated, and well within your borders,” Jin Yixin explained. “I was thinking of going there. Perhaps this afternoon? Of course it can wait if you’d rather check the place yourself first.”

“No, I think I see what you mean,” Nie Huaisang replied. “I used to go there sometimes to admire the view of the mountains, and to watch the birds that live around. I suppose there’s no harm…”

He hesitated. The idea of letting Jin Rusong leave the Unclean Realm, however briefly, however well accompanied, was deeply unpleasant. At the same time, a little field trip like that was likely to tire out the child, and if he could be convinced to go to sleep early…

They wouldn’t be going very far, he thought, and Jin Yixin came with the approval of both Jin Rulan and Jiang Wanyin. Nie Funyu, who had seen her train and even got to spar with her once, also vouched for her being a very strong cultivator. She’d taken part in the Sunshot Campaign even. Clearly she was someone who could be trusted with Jin Rusong’s safety.

“Take some of my disciples with you,” Nie Huaisang ordered. “And take some distress signals too. I don’t think Qinghe Nie’s reputation has fallen so low that anyone would dare to cause trouble so close to the Unclean Realm, but let’s take every precaution. SongSong, you will be very good and listen to your teacher, won’t you?”

The little boy enthusiastically promised, and was still grinning when Jin Yixin and him left the room to go find some people who might accompany them.

As soon as the door closed, Lan Xichen pressed Nie Huaisang against the nearest wall and kissed him, unwilling to risk any further delay. After a brief moment of surprise, Nie Huaisang wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist and pulled him closer, melting into the kiss.

It felt nothing like that miserable kiss they’d exchanged on the day of Nie Mingjue’s funeral. Back then it had felt like a farewell between them, while now Nie Huaisang could hope there would be more of this in the future. Lan Xichen’s passion in kissing him, the way their bodies were pressed together, certainly promised more.

They kissed against the wall for a while, impatiently clinging to each other. Then Lan Xichen, always so clever, suggested that there was a sofa right there, which might be more comfortable than to remain standing. Nie Huaisang felt tempted to point out that if comfort was an issue, his bed wasn’t very far either, and it would be even more comfortable. But the sofa was closer, and there was no urgency. They had found each other again at last, and had the rest of their lives to explore all they could want from that.

Although they’d started sitting on the sofa, before too long they were lying on it, Nie Huaisang straddling Lan Xichen, kissing him more slowly now as they allowed their hands to wander, enjoying accidental brushes of skin on skin, but making no effort to discard their layers of clothing. There was no rush, not now that they had each other, and Nie Huaisang thought he could have happily spent the rest of his life like this, nestled on a sofa with the man he loved, lazily kissing him.

Time passed around them without their notice, until a knock on the door forced them to return again to the world around them.

Nie Huaisang’s first thought was that he had to be cursed to never enjoy a single moment of peace. Then, noticing how the shadows had grown longer, he realised with some embarrassment that they’d been together like that for a long while, and it wasn’t so surprising that someone should be needing him for something or other. He tried to get up, only for Lan Xichen to hold him by the hips, keeping him in place. Nie Huaisang almost laughed, and seeing how handsome Lan Xichen was like this, flushed and with his lips so red, he couldn’t resist leaning for one more kiss.

Another knock on the door, insistent enough to make it shake, put an end to that. Nie Huaisang, surprised by such urgency, stood up. Lan Xichen did not stop him again, looking puzzled as well, and followed him when he went to open the door, both of them trying to put order to their appearance.

One of his disciples was on the other side, looking distraught and breathless from running.

“Nie zongzhu, there’s a problem,” he explained, speaking so fast it made him hard to understand. “The men who went with Jin Yixin and Jin xiao-gongzi have returned. They’ve been beaten up, they say they were ambushed and attacked.”

“What?” Nie Huaisang gasped, so shocked he had to support himself against the doorframe. “How…" A thought crossed his mind, and he grabbed the man's collar. "Where's Rusong?”

The man shook his head.

“Zonghzhu, he’s been taken.”

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #jin rusong #jin rusong lives #has it been nearly 9 months since I updated this fic? maybe. Who are you?? the fanfic police???#I'm procrastinating so hard on the time travel fic lol #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes

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spockandawe · 4 years ago

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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

It’s absolutely no problem at all!! I don’t think I’ve been asked this before, but hey, I also have zero object permanence, so it keeps things fresh and new. And it’s interesting to see how my answers change over time! Lemme see, I think I’m going to go in reverse order, because I feel like then I’ll be doing the worst agonizing up front.

TGCF

Fifth favorite: YIN. YU. I know that he’s a minor character and him even making it onto the list is pretty solid performance, but I do feel guilty that he isn’t higher than this. He came out of nowhere in my first reading and punched me in the stomach with emotions. I find his sections so hard to read, and I was DEVASTATED when he died and BEYOND stoked to find out he was still alive in the extras. His story hurts so much! I am weak against characters who have relatively modest goals and still see them snatched away (see also: my next entry) and have to struggle on. I wish wish wish I had a way to see more of how he made his peace with things after being thrown out of heaven, and the nature of the (distant) relationship with Hua Cheng and what happens with Quan Yizhen now that he died in his arms, and still came back anyways, my god!

Fourth favorite: He Xuannnnnn. I have a hard time articulating particulars, but. I love him a lot. I love a character with a grudge, with a deep, painful grudge, where the grudge is hurting him almost as much as it’s hurting the people around him, and setting the grudge aside would also hurt, and then what has any of this been for-- I've used this metaphor for other characters, but I don’t care if I’m overusing it, because I love it. He feels like a character caught in a thorn bush, where simply being there... hurts, but trying to escape or move in any ways is going to hurt worse, and there’s no path forward that doesn’t involve pain. And like... I don’t love the way he hurt Shi Qingxuan (who didn’t quite make this list adfasgdafsd I’M SORRY) but I wouldn’t have liked to see him swallow back down all that pain and set aside everything that happened to his family and fiancee either! I’m always, always soft for characters who have no good path forward and who grit their teeth and set out anyways.

Third favorite: MU QING!!!!!!!!!! I have done... extensive screaming about him. And I love him veryvery much. I can already tell that this list is going to have a lot of mean boys on it, and like... no regrets. Especially since this is one of my FAVORITE flavors, an unapologetic mean boy who is rarely (but sometimes!) soft for the people around him, and who regularly tries to do decently by people, but who consistently gets shat upon and misunderstood and accused of acting in bad faith. I screamed when he and Xie Lian finally got to talk their friendship out in the book. I also screamed when I realized how immediately after Xie Lian’s return he started looking out for him again, and how sincerely, despite his horrible attitude about it. I still want to write more fic for him so badly. I love him so much.

Second favorite: Xie Lian! What a good boy! The best boy! He’s so sweet and gentle, but also the best fightboy this world has ever seen, and also so gently snarky with the people he loves! I just... really love me some traumatized characters who have trouble recognizing that they can be Loved, and I’m not going to write this whole essay right now, but I think in some ways, he’s the most... passive about his romance, out of all the leads? Shen Qingqiu is aggressively oblivious, but Xie Lian kind of gently shrugs off the idea that he might be Hua Cheng’s special someone, until he finally gets hit with the cluestick. I generally shy away from the idea of a character “earning” love, but he’s maybe the mxtx character who moves me most with ‘you deserve to be loved’

Most favorite: Hua Cheng. HUA CHENG. Oh my god, gotta love this boy. Gotta love this devotion. I love a mean boy who is soft for one person, and he EMBODIES it. I mean, I love Shen Jiu, but he barely manages to do the soft thing at all, while Hua Cheng is over here like ‘if I could only be the stone beneath your feet--’ It’s hard to talk about him separately from Xie Lian, because they’re a unit in my head more than just about any other characters on this list are. I don’t want to get this list to get out of control, so I’m not going to scream for too long, but... I could just watch him go forever. I want to write him forever, and that’s a huge aspect of what draws me to some characters.

MDZS

Oh god, I think I lied, I think this book is going to be hardest. Making these choices is AGONIZING.

Fifth favorite: .....Lan Wangji. Oh god, I feel bad about how low he is. But this story is just packed SO full of wonderful characters, and I’m already consumed with guilt over all the characters who aren’t going to make it. I don’t love them less! But my love for characters in this particular story is very evenly distributed. And I think that Wang Yibo’s acting is possibly scoring points with me that the book might not have earned all by itself. Microexpressions and subtle body language add SO MUCH to a character with such flat affect, and I would be drawn to such a closed-off character anyways, but it really helps. And I love, like... the combined subtlety and intensity of his relationships. It’s not that subtle once you know what to look for, and the brother/sworn brother network makes for varying degrees of how much other characters understand of the things he chooses not to explicitly express, and it gives a really interesting character to the way he interacts with the people around him. Also, love me a man with intense separation anxiety.

Fourth favorite: Jiang Yanli? I think it has to be Jiang Yanli, but these rankings are hard. So. I just talked about how much I enjoy the flat affect and closed off nature of Lan Wangji? Well, guess what, I also love it when m’girl is just very GENUINELY AND OPENLY an absolute sweetheart of a person, and I love the contrast between her genuinely kind nature and the uncomfortable pressure that her family’s dynamics put on her to start parenting at a very young age. It’s not necessarily a happy situation, but she adores her brothers so much and they adore her so much! And it’s... a very understated element of the story, but after her parents died, her baby brothers went off to war, and one wreaked havoc as a straightforward commander and one of them disappeared for months and returned as a creepy-ass zombie puppeteer. And she STILL dotes on them like before, despite knowing what they’re capable of. Like, yes, Wei Wuxian just raised an army of corpses and forced a man to eat himself, but I shall still boop him on the nose and feed him Soup. How can I not adore energy like that?

Third favorite: Wei Wuxian, I think. I do adore him a lot. He gives me some of the same vibes that make me ache most with Xie Lian, where he is trying his best, and is struggling to hold on in the face of lots of suffering, and I find it really interesting that when the suffering peaked, Xie Lian was forced go on because he couldn’t die, while Wei Wuxian... expired. That line about ‘he thought that no matter how large the world was, there was still no place for him’ always sticks with me, and hurts me deeply. Xie Lian had most of his personal attachments stripped away, and was left to wander on his own, while Wei Wuxian still had a number of strong connections left, but abruptly exited life. And that informs their respective trauma so interestingly! The way Wei Wuxian bounces between high energy chaos and drained exhaustion is really fascinating to me, and was the thread that held me attached to the book through a very confusing beginning. And I’m still very drawn to how intensely he loves, whether it’s Xiao Zhan’s fantastic acting, or it’s him busting out with how much he wants Lan Wangji in the middle of the Guanyin Temple scene. He’s a fantastic character, honestly, I don’t think such a convoluted book would have held together very well without a protagonist this strong.

Second favorite: Xue Yang :X Look, he’s a good boy and I love him. Who among us hasn’t done a few mass murders that we are completely unrepentant about, but that we would really like to keep hidden from our current boyfriend, actually? Anyways, as always, love me an angry boy who makes terrible decisions for understandable reasons. And I do love a character who is consumed by agonized ragrets (see my next entry), but I DO also love me a character who has no regrets at all and doesn’t even have much interest in trying to justify himself to anyone else around him. Just look at that confidence! Look at him go!!

Most favorite: Jiang... Cheng....... I knew he and Xue Yang were going to be at the top, but those were the only parts of this list that were easy. I mean. Love a self-sabotaging angryboy who is also super super sad and keeps hurting himself in his own confusion. And while I love the romantic thread in all of the mxtx books, the agonized family thread in mdzs is one of my favorite parts, and something that I don’t really see echoed in any of the other stories. I need ten million jc+wwx reconciliations, at LEAST. He’s so sad! And so angry! And I want to see him becoming less of that thing, and for Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian to demonstrate very firmly how much they love him, because they do. I am invested in his happiness in a way that goes far and beyond any of the other non-main characters, haha

SVSSS

Fifth favorite: Tianlang-jun. I think? Oh god, but moshang. THIS IS REALLY HARD, I HATE THIS ;-; But especially since writing my fic, Tianlang-jun has really won me over. And like, he already hurt me good in the novel, just thinking about how he was an innocent young guy, just! Trying to have a girlfriend! And instead got trapped in sensory deprivation, body-rotting-hell for twenty years, when he didn’t do anything wrong!!! He suffered, so much! And I live for his intensely strained relationship with Luo Binghe, because it’s! Perfectly understandable and painful, from both of their perspectives! And he wants to hate humans so badly, but in the end, when he’s told that Su Xiyan never betrayed him, he starts helplessly asking the people around him, ‘really? is it really true?’ and then in the end he loses the only family member he has left who cares about him, and it’s just! Everything is terrible! I have a su xiyan au brewing in my head because I can’t stand it! Someone just give this man a loving partner!!!

Fourth favorite: Shen Qingqiu. But... moshang??? Goddammit. Anyways, this dumbass. I find him so endearing, in his dumbassery. I sometimes get a bit frustrated with Wei Wuxian for being oblivious, and Shen Qingqiu is just asking for me to react the same way, but I... don’t, for the most part? Because he thinks he has good information, and he’s slow to react to a changing playing field, and I still haven’t read another transmigration novel that strikes the same balance of hypercompetence and intense incompetence :ppp It’s a funny book, and he’s a funny character! And I really vibe with him, in most parts of the story, which covers a pretty darn wide emotional spectrum. Plus, the running internal commentary is choice.

Third favorite: Liu Qingge. Look, I’m a woman of simple needs, and sometimes I just need a high-quality fightboy who clearly cares deeply and is absolute garbage at expressing his emotions. I can’t articulate it much better than that. I absolutely howl at the succubus extra, when Shen Qingqiu is talking to Madam Meiyin about his future partner, and Liu Qingge is like ‘oh my god, sHE IS CLEARLY DESCRIBING ME’ and Shen Qingqiu is like ‘haha, liu-shidi, i thought you thought this was stuupidddddddd’. They’re both so dumb. I love them so much. But stupidity plus war god fighting energy has a narrow lead over stupidity and internal commentary track.

Second favorite: SHEN JIU. GOD. I’m still arguing with myself over whether he should go first, but Luo Binghe hurts me consistently through the whole entire story, so I think he wins. Shen Jiu just stabs me in the heart at strategic moments. This is it. My ideal mean boy who is soft for one (1) person, and who BOTH does unconscionable things for terrible reasons (someone just. give him a pile of girls to teach, it will be much more pleasant for everyone involved), and who ALSO gets blamed for things he didn’t do even when he tries to act in good faith. It is the best of all painful worlds. And even at the end, when he has a powerful person who wants desperately to protect him, he still tries his hardest to shove that person away, to keep him safe. I’ve got like four aus where he gets to live. I’m so invested in this character, I love him so much.

Most favorite: Luo Binghe. He was.... made for me............ Like, the overwhelming amounts of childhood angst were baked in by Shang Qinghua, but the in-story pain and suffering is PRECISELY my jam. I love a character with separation anxiety! I love a character with massive anxieties over being unwanted! Over nobody ever, EVER just choosing him! I love a character struggling with the idea that the person he loves most in the world thinks that he’s intrinsically Disgusting! I love the kind of stubborn determination that leads him to preserve a corpse for five years, desperately hoping for a way to revive it, constantly cooking fresh food, in case, in case he someday wakes up. The way Hua Cheng loves is overpowering, but he’s had time to like... learn to be mellow when he needs to be. Luo Binghe doesn’t have a chill bone in his body, and if he’s acting chill, it’s probably because he’s done some mental math and decided that being more clingy right now will probably get him pushed away harder. I love the combination of manipulative tendencies and a very, very genuine fear of rejection and being unwanted. There is nothing I don’t love about Luo Binghe, including his worst decisions. I love him so so much.

#spock replies #long post/#svsss #mdzs #tgcf #thanad-zid

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wangxiandecoded · 5 years ago

Text

Episode 10

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

Going to draw a heart over Wangxian to keep track of every time the camera shows someone third wheeling them from now on.

Wei Ying uses his Binding/Bonding talisman on Xue Yang to show Lan Zhan it’s a dynamic tool that doesn’t deserve to be named “Boring”. Even though there’s a serial killer on the loose, Lan Zhan’s opinions on his inventions matter a lot to him. Standard Wei Ying stuff.

Wangxian’s Mirrors

At this point of the show, I could not believe there was a couple who directly mirrored Wangxian. And surprise! They were two men who dressed in black and white and came together for their common vision exactly like Wangxian did. Wei Ying cannot help but connect the dots and Lan Zhan is already aware of their eminence.

Xue Yang Fancies The Yiling Laozu

Xue Yang’s introduction makes the story take a darker turn but also a gayer one. The homoerotic subtext between him and Wei Ying literally jumps out of the screen.

(This episode had a lot of moments that were just begging for alternate dialogues to be written. I just wanted to have fun with the subtext that’s already present.)

Wei Ying doesn’t want Lan Zhan to waste his precious breath interrogating the bad guy. He protectively steps up (something he does quite a lot) and puts some distance between the both of them.

But he wants Lan Zhan to hold his sword while he does that.. and if that act wasn’t necessarily considered to be intimate or romantic before, it just became that after Lan Zhan refused to do it in front of everyone.

Wei Ying has uttered many conspicuously gay things on the show but most of them are with reference to Lan Zhan. Therefore, this is possibly the gayest dialogue he has ever said in a strictly non-Lan Zhan context.

His tone is all, “Honey, you've been existing for 5 minutes, I'm the queerest person the cultivation world has seen in a millennium. You think frisking a guy is going to make me feel scandalized?” This is nuts to me because Xue Yang is arguably the most blatantly coded gay character on the show.. and here is Wei Ying all but saying he can outgay him. That he shouldn’t come after his job. And Lan Zhan just looks like..

It is curious how Lan Zhan says no to something that would require Wei Ying to go near Xue Yang again.

We get it, Lan Zhan. It was hard to see your guy giving attention to someone who wasn’t you.

When Lan Zhan is unsure what's happening back home, the first person his eyes seek is Wei Ying, his source of strength and reassurance.

SongXiao Help WangXian Fall Deeper In Love

Wei Ying is euphoric to meet another pair of Soulmates™. (The same kind of glee that queer people feel when they meet a celebrity queer couple.) His relationship with Lan Zhan just gained supreme validation and a boost to the power of infinity!

He sees everything he has with Lan Zhan reflected in SongXiao’s relationship. He admires them and is delighted that people like them who aren’t concerned with clan drama can walk the wider path of justice, and also lead successful, honourable lives. He looks to Lan Zhan for confirmation but Lan Zhan doesn’t seem too eager to publicize the super sweet promise they made at the lantern ceremony or the fact that he’s been secretly enjoying Wei Ying’s companionship on this expedition. And let’s be honest, it would’ve been more shocking if Lan Zhan did confirm any of that here.

Cheer up, Wei Ying! Lan Zhan will get plenty more opportunities to prove his love for you and he'll ace every single one of them.

No one asked for this but thank you NHS for declaring your ideal type is beautiful gentlemen who fight crime together and unapologetically go their own way.

The parallels between the two pairs write themselves. More importantly, it is while watching SongXiao leave together that Lan Zhan stumbles onto an epiphany.

This is such an underrated moment in the show. The sorrowful music and slow-motion shot of Lan Zhan looking at Wei Ying with vulnerability all over his face once again drives it home that Wei Ying is The One for him, and he is his. He was already getting tired of denying that Wei Ying is his soulmate in every sense there is, and he feels his pain and sadness in this moment. It is enough for Jiang Cheng to feel sorry for him and move on but not for Lan Zhan who feels all that his soulmate feels.

It is overwhelming and brand new information to Lan Zhan himself that he can feel it because Wei Ying is not in impending danger right now, so this need he feels to protect him and be there for him can only mean that he loves him beyond the shadow of a doubt. Wei Ying seems upset thinking about his mother and Lan Zhan gets it, without Wei Ying having uttered a word the whole time. His face shows a kind of defeat in this scene; he surrenders to everything he has known and felt for some time now : He's in love with Wei Ying and would tear down the universe without a second thought if it means it would rid him of his unhappiness. And he isn't able to do that in this moment. But thanks to Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, he’s found comfort in the truth they have each other at the end of the day, even if they have nothing left in this world. He cannot give back to Wei Ying what he has lost but he can accompany him in his sadness, and it will have to be enough. And it is, because Wei Ying can overcome just about everything as long as Lan Zhan walks by his side.

Wei Ying Says Lan Clan Deserves Rights

Wei Ying has many nice things to say about the Lan clan who he found exhausting a few months ago. Love brings about miraculous changes in a person, y’all.

Wei Ying gravitates towards Lan Zhan as if it's second nature to him and it really is.

Jiang Cheng spends a lot of time trying to get Wei Ying to spill the Top Secrets about the Yin Iron and Wei Ying is like, "Sorry, I’m bound by the Soulmate laws to tell you absolutely nothing."

Wei Ying is already embracing the idea of controlling the Yin Iron and people are rightfully getting offended by his suggestion.

What did you expect, Wei Ying? Not everyone is your lifetime confidant to give you the benefit of the doubt and reciprocate it with compassion, trust and open-mindedness.

Wangxian’s Temporary Separation

What was that, Wei Ying? Did we hear you admit that the Gusu Lan roof is softer than the one in Qinghe? Could this have anything to do with a certain law enforcer in Cloud Recesses you fell in love with at first sword fight?

There is a delicate, bittersweet air to this separation, and even the casual watcher is going to be wondering, “When did I get so invested in Wangxian that WuJi makes me want to cry?”

It's cute how Lan Zhan is like, “Okay, I’ve seen the love of my life for one last time, I’ll quietly take my leave so he doesn’t know I was waiting for him to come back.”

Turns out, "I'll sleep on your roof tonight," is one of the most romantic things we could tell the person we love. Isn't it brilliant that just few seconds ago Wei Ying had said he will take whatever ground he finds as his home for the night, and how utterly beautiful is it to have followed it up with this dialogue? “Lan Zhan, I'll sleep on your roof tonight.” Because the world is big but my home is wherever you are. That’s where I’m happiest, I'll sleep on this rugged roof and walk through thorns if it means I get to be by your side. I won't mind it at all. And how unbelievably romantic is it that Wei Ying makes a philosophical statement about life, which ends up being about Lan Zhan?

Lan Zhan hears the implications in his voice. And he openly yearns to stay behind a little longer and commit to his memory what Wei Ying looks like when he is drunkenly proclaiming his love for him under the moonlight. It is pleasantly surprising that Lan Zhan is willing to express his emotions when he knows he is safe from Wei Ying hearing them, that he doesn't mind telling him goodbye when he thinks Wei Ying won't remember it.

But the audience can hear his voice and we are going to remember it. How, "Wei Ying, I have to go," is uttered in a cadence so sweet we did not know Lan Zhan was capable of before this. And the choice of words do not simply mean that he’s going to leave, but that he has to, and most certainly not because he wants to. And how it really means, “I’m worried about everything, but especially you, and I'm sorry I have to go. I have to trust that we'll both be okay on this path. Please know that I don't wish to leave you, and forgive me for it. Wei Ying, I love you."

Even their temporary separation hurts so good. If they were meant to be best buddies, this scene wouldn't have been shot so poignantly. But we got used to seeing them together and every frame is designed to dig deeper into your heart and instil the fact that these soulmates are parting, and we don’t know when they’ll see each other again. This is the melancholy of a man who does not wish to be away from his lover but is forced to for the sake of the greater good. Anyone can see that.

The rooftop and moonlit night come as a callback to their first meeting, only Lan Zhan no longer wants to point the tip of his sword at Wei Ying, it gives him far greater satisfaction to place Wei Ying behind his sword.

I haven’t counted the number of times people acknowledge Wangxian’s relationship and/or know that they are inseparable, but it’s safe to say almost every character does that at some point. And some even know how to exploit their weakness, that in order to hurt one of them, the surefire way is to simply aim for the other like Wen Chao does here.

To summarize, Episode 10 saw Lan Zhan showing us his true colors : When he isn’t occupied with being the esteemed, intimidating Lan Wangji, he’s busy being a regular, sweet, romantic guy in love. And Wei Ying did that. He single-handedly exposes the soft side of Lan Zhan that nobody sees to the audience now and the world later on.

This episode also gave us this : Two soulmates chilling shoulder to shoulder zero feet apart because they’re falling in love.

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nekojitachan · 4 years ago

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Don’t Wanna Fall - Wangxian MDZS/CQL Fic

Okay, so this is what happens when I get stressed and feel the need to write; the mind latched on to this story. It’s basically canon-divergent (CQL/The Untamed for the most part), fix-it, and a/b/o (with some slight twists) and is all plotted out. I’d figure I’d post it here and throw up the beta’d parts on AO3.

Warnings for canon-typical violence, and more notes explaining things at the bottom.

*******

Wei Wuxian felt a precious sense of contentment as he sat near his sister and ate the soup she’d made; the emotion had been missing ever since the attack on Lotus Pier, and he knew it wouldn’t last long. Soon enough the sedative that Wen Qing had given him would render Jiang Yanli unconscious, and once Song Lan took her to the safekeeping of Lan Wangji and the Jins, then—then it was time to fix Jiang Cheng.

He pushed aside all thoughts on how they’d go about ‘fixing’ his brother while he finished the bowl of pork rib and lotus soup, unwilling to spoil his meal.

As soon as he set the empty bowl on the table, Jiang Yanli was quick to refill it. “You don’t have to—”

His sister gave him a stern look, her gaze shifting down to his abdomen before she shook her head. “You need to keep up your strength, A-Xian,” she chided, her voice pitched low so she didn’t disturb their brother, who was resting on the far side of the room. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, looking for a way to restore A-Cheng’s golden core. That’s not good… well, you need to rest.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to tell her not to worry about him, but closed it a moment later without any words spoken after another stern look. For all her gentle mothering and sweet nature, Jiang Yanli was a true force to reckon with when she believed that those she loved weren’t taking care of themselves, which seemed to be the case right now. Especially since she knew that Wei Wuxian was pregnant.

He’d managed to hide that fact from everyone else, even Wen Qing, thanks to some clever talismans (desperation truly did help when it came to inspiration) and loose robes, but Jiang Yanli had been there when he’d figured out the truth, a few weeks after his return from the enforced ‘indoctrination’ at Qishan. From the time he’d spent trapped in the cave at Dusk-Creek Mountain with Lan Zhan. Just the two of them, an alpha and an omega, prevented access to the medicines which helped control their heats and ruts (as well as prevent pregnancies for omegas), so of course Lan Zhan had gone into rut after they’d killed the Tortoise of Slaughter (fighting the thing for so long probably had played some part in that), which had then instigated Wei Wuxian’s heat and….

At least it had been his dear shijie who’d found out about the baby and not Madame Yu, who probably would have thrown him out on the street with barely any clothes on his back after whipping him half to death (it wasn’t speaking ill of the dead if it was the truth), or Uncle Fengmian, who would have guilted him into naming the father so a hasty marriage could be arranged. Which really, what good would that do? Lan Zhan had barely been cognizant (hell, Wei Wuxian had barely been conscious) when the whole thing had happened, so why should his life be ruined as well?

Not that Wei Wuxian felt like his life was ruined by any means. He and Jiang Yanli had been talking about ways to get him away from Lotus Pier so he could give birth in secrecy, maybe have a trusted wetnurse look after the baby for a couple months and then he’d ‘find’ the ‘poor orphan’ and ‘adopt them’. Perhaps not the greatest plan, but it had been a work in progress.

Then the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier, and all that mattered was surviving another day.

He finished the last of the soup and smiled at Jiang Yanli, whose expression gentled into affectionate approval. “Delicious, as always. Shijie makes the best soup.”

She smiled as she poured them both more tea. “Don't you feel better now?” Her gaze once more flickered to his abdomen when he nodded, but she couldn’t ask him about his little ‘lotus seed’ since they weren’t alone. He knew she worried about the baby, one more burden she bore, one more thing to sap her strength when she needed to focus on her own health, so he gave her as bright a smile as he could to ease her concerns.

They sat together and drank tea, content in each other’s presence; Wei Wuxian fiddled with the beaded charm bracelet on his left wrist while he waited for the sedative in the incense burner to take effect. Soon enough, Jiang Yanli’s eyes, marred by dark circles from exhaustion and worry, drifted shut as she slumped down to rest her head on her arms folded on top of the table. He finished the last of the tea and waited for Jiang Cheng to rise from the bed where he’d pretended to sleep so they could gently carry their beloved sister outside, where a carriage waited to take her to Lanling.

Song Lan, sword in hand, stood beside the carriage and bowed to them once Jiang Yanli was safely tucked inside. “Young masters,” he said as he bowed.

Before Wei Wuxian could wish the man a safe journey, Jiang Cheng shoved himself forward. “We’re trusting our sister in your care. You will deliver her untouched if you value your life,” he told Song Lan with a growl in his voice.

On one hand, Wei Wuxian was happy to see the return of his brother’s spirited, alpha nature (the way he’d been before the loss of his core), but on the other… while Song Lan was an alpha and Jiang Yanli an omega, Song Lan was a respected cultivator and owed them a debt, so could be relied upon to not harm their sister. Jiang Cheng’s threat was unnecessary and a bit insulting.

Song Lan merely bowed again, his face impassive. “I swear on my life that no harm will come to Maiden Jiang while she’s entrusted in my care, from others or myself.” He paused for a moment before he asked Wei Wuxian to pass a message on to Xingchen, only to change his mind and declare the request unnecessary..

“Thank you.” Wei Wuxian bowed to the cultivator before he left, and Jiang Cheng did the same after a moment.

There was an ache in his chest as he watched Jiang Yanli leave, but Wei Wuxian knew it was for the best; she wasn’t a fighter yet would insist on the three of them remaining together despite the danger they faced. No, best that she was someplace safe, especially considering what Wei Wuxian planned to do next.

The ache was quickly replaced by anger when Jiang Cheng slighted Wen Qing as they thanked her for her care; she might be a Wen, but she had risked her life (and Wen Ning his) to provide them medical care and shelter. Wen Ning had betrayed his own clan to help them back at Lotus Pier, and so the siblings deserved their respect.

All Jiang Cheng seemed to care about was restoring his golden core.

Wei Wuxian led his brother to where Baoshan Sanren supposedly lived, a nameless mountain outside of Yiling; he took a roundabout route in order to give the Wen siblings enough time to prepare for their arrival. Jiang Cheng tried to push forward as fast as he could, but was hampered by his lack of a golden core; Wei Wuxian used his brother’s reduced stamina to rest as often as he could, his own strength impeded by his pregnancy.

Ah, lotus seed, he thought as he placed a hand on his barely swollen belly while Jiang Cheng’s attention was diverted, what a chaotic world you’ve chosen to be born into. Interesting times indeed. Despite all the bad things that had happened recently—the attack on Lotus Pier, the deaths of Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu, Jiang Cheng losing his golden core, war about to break out at any moment—Wei Wuxian couldn’t include his unexpected pregnancy in it. True, he’d always thought he’d be mated at least when he started to have a family, but he already cherished the child growing inside of him regardless of how it had come about.

His little lotus seed wasn’t an accident or mistake in his mind; Jiang Yanli accepted it, and he was certain Jiang Cheng would, too, once he found out (and yelled at him for being shameless for a week or two). That was, once Jiang Cheng had a golden core and they were somewhere safe, so Wei Wuxian could tell him the truth (and make him promise not to say anything to Lan Zhan) without adding to his brother’s burdens.

They finally reached the appropriate mountain peak almost two days laters; Wei Wuxian sent his brother on his way, blindfolded and with instructions on what to say to ‘Baoshan Sanren’. Jiang Cheng appeared apprehensive yet determined; Wei Wuxian watched him fumble his way blindly along the trail for some time before he quietly followed. When he caught up to Jiang Cheng, his brother had been rendered unconscious by a disguised Wen Qing and was being held by Wen Ning.

“Let’s get this done,” Wen Qing said as she discarded a hat draped with long, dark veils. She motioned for Wei Wuxian to follow her to where a tent had been set up; inside it were two pallets and several low tables covered with medical supplies, as well as a burning brazier.

Wei Wuxian helped Wen Ning lay Jiang Cheng onto one of the pallets then knelt on the other and watched while the Wens did a quick examination of his unconscious brother. After a few minutes, Wen Qing nodded once, which appeared to be a signal to Wen Ning to begin to remove Jiang Cheng’s upper garments.

She turned her attention to Wei Wuxian. “Are you still certain you want to go through with this, even if there’s only a 50% chance it’ll work?”

“Yes.” Nothing had changed since the last time she’d asked him that question. “It doesn’t matter to me what happens to my golden core but Jiang Cheng can’t live without one.” He saw a flicker of pain cross her face and knew she’d been affected by his brother’s apathy before being given a hope of cultivating again. “Please, go ahead with the transfer,” he begged as he bowed low to her, his thoughts filled with how he had to make things right, had to make up for not being there to protect Jiang Cheng from Wen Zhuliu in the first place.

Wen Qing made a tsk’ing sound as she rapped her knuckles on the back of his head. “Stop that, we’ve no time for your foolishness.” She gave him a narrow look once he sat up. “You know I can’t sedate you during the surgery?” At his slight nod, she held out her hand. “It’ll affect your golden core, which will lower the success rate..”

“All right.” It wasn’t ideal, but somehow he’d manage.

“Hm.” Her lips pressed into a thin line as she continued to hold out her hand; behind her, Wen Ning finished undressing Jiang Cheng then turned his attention toward them, his hands resting on top of his thighs. “I need to check your qi,” Wen Qing said, an impatient bite to the words.

Wei Wuxian hesitated; he’d been careful to not let Wen Qing lay hands on him due to his pregnancy, but it looked as if he couldn’t avoid contact any longer. He sighed as he placed his hand in hers, and tried not to flinch when her fingers pressed against his wrist.

At first, Wen Qing’s expression remained the same (slightly annoyed, which really, such a shame to see it so often on a lovely face like that), and then her dark eyes grew wide and her lips parted with what could only be astonishment. Her strong fingers bit into Wei Wuxian’s wrist for a moment, then let go so she could smack him on top of his head.

“You fool!”

“Ow! That hurt, you hit me,” Wei Wuxian whined while Wen Ning called out his sister’s name.

“You’re pregnant!” Wen Qing glared at him while Wen Ning smiled, his face bright with joy.

“Congratulations, Master Wei, that’s such good—oh!” Wen Ning ducked his head and blinked in confusion when he was smacked by his sister as well. “A-jie?”

“It’s not good news,” Wen Qing snapped, her alpha nature flaring for a moment before she let out a slow breath and controlled herself. “He should have told me he’s pregnant, because there’s no way we can do the surgery now.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian snatched at Wen Qing’s hand while he shook his head, upset at the news; what did his condition have to do with anything? “Why can’t you? I’m perfectly fine, there’s no reason you can’t—”

“Because it’ll kill the child and possibly you if I go ahead with it!” Wen Qing shook her hand free and pressed it against his lower dantian while he stared at her in shock. “There’s the fact that your body will undergo a great strain during the surgery, and then another after you lose your golden core. Even if you both survived those things… the father was a cultivator, right?” She stared at him intently as her hand drifted to rest against his curved belly. “A powerful one?” There was a knowing glint to her eyes as she spoke, yet she didn’t mention any names.

“Yes.” Wei Wuxian refused to think about Lan Zhan right then, but he could acknowledge that much.

“Yes,” Wen Qing echoed while Wen Ning stared at the both of them as if he was an owl transformed into a human. “Which means the child will be a cultivator, too. It doesn’t have a golden core of its own yet, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t benefiting from yours.” Her expression took on a bitter edge as she rocked back on her heels, her hands clasped in her lap. “I’ve seen Wen Zhuliu wield his talent. Once, he was ordered to use it against the pregnant wife of a lord who’d angered Wen Rouhan. She survived, as did the child, but the boy couldn’t cultivate. You can make decisions for yourself all you want, but I won’t be responsible for harming a child or stripping it of its future.”

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around his middle as he tried to digest what he’d learned. “But… but Jiang Cheng,” he said as he glanced at his unconscious brother. “What’s going to happen when he wakes up without a core?” It would be worse than before, now that he’d been given the hope of having it restored.

Wen Qing cast a worried glance at Jiang Cheng then shook her head. “Maybe we can—”

“Wha—what about me?”

Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing gaped at Wen Ning; as usual, the quiet beta had faded into the background until he’d spoken. “What about you?” Wei Wuxian asked as he toyed with the beaded bracelet on his wrist. “Do you have an idea?”

“What about giving Young Master Jiang my core?”

Wen Qing was quick to shake her head. “No, that’s out of the question, we’ll figure something else out.”

For once, Wen Ning didn’t allow himself to be cowed by his older sister. “What, A-jie? This was the only solution you and Master Wei could find, and now he can’t go through with it. You can use my core instead,” he offered as he lightly thumped himself on the chest.

“No,” Wei Wuxian said, even as a part of him wanted to accept Wen Ning’s offer, to go along with anything that would save his little brother. “I can’t let you do this.” It was too much of a sacrifice.

“Neither can I.” Wen Qing grabbed hold of Wen Ning’s shoulders and gave him a quick shake as if to make him think properly. “I know you want to help, but this… this is too much! It’s your golden core!”

“I know that,” Wen Ning said as he placed his right hand on her shoulder, his expression earnest as always. “What good has mine ever done for me?” When she made as if to argue, he shook his head. “I’m not as strong as you and the young masters, and I know I’ll never be because of… of my illness.” He pressed his left hand against his chest while Wen Qing appeared guilt-stricken by his words. “You’ve done everything you could for me, but I’ll always be like this. I’m sure young Master Jiang will take my golden core and make something useful out of it.”

“There has to be something else we can do, you can’t just give up your golden core like this!” Wen Qing sounded near tears as she argued with her brother, yet Wen Ning held firm.

“You’re the best doctor I know, probably the best there is, A-jie, and if you don’t know about it then it doesn’t exist. And you know I’m never going to achieve much with mine, so give it to Master Jiang so he can make a difference in the world. It’s what I want.”

As Wen Qing began to cry, Wei Wuxian finally found his voice. “Wen Ning… you don’t have to do this. Any debt you believe you may owe me for saving your life has been repaid.” He wanted to accept what his friend was offering, but it was too much—especially after everything the siblings had done for them in the past couple weeks.

Wen Ning shook his head, his lips curled in a gentle smile. “I want to do it, Master Wei. This way… this way a part of me will be out there fighting, will be setting right the wrongs my clan are committing.”

The fact that he spoke so clearly and fervently, without any stuttering or self-consciousness, convinced Wei Wuxian that Wen Ning meant every word. Wen Qing must have realized the same, since she sat up straight and wiped away her tears, her expression solemn as she gazed at her brother.

“Do you truly want to do this?”

“Mm!” Wen Ning nodded once.

Wen Qing closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if centering herself. “Very well, you’ll assist me while I repair Jiang Wanyin’s meridians.” She then turned to Wei Wuxian. “I’ll need your help with the second part of the surgery.”

“Yes, anything you require,” he promised, unable to believe that they were still going through with the transfer after all. When Wen Qing stood and went over to the brazier, Wei Wuxian grabbed Wen Ning by the arm. “Thank you,” he told his friend, his voice thick with emotion.

Wen Ning smiled once more. “You’re welcome, Master—”

“No, no more of that,” Wei Wuxian said as he patted Wen Ning’s arm. “We’re brother’s now, so you have to call me Wei Ying or A-Xian or gege.” He grinned when Wen Ning attempted to stutter out a denial. “How about Ying-ge?”

“Bu—but—”

“No buts!” Wei Wuxian frowned at his new little brother. “I mean it, we’re family now. Accept it.”

Wen Ning, his face mottled with red, gawked at him for several seconds before he ducked his head. “Even A-jie?”

Wei Wuxian hummed as he rubbed the side of his nose. “Well, I already have the best big sister in the world, but I suppose Shijie won’t mind if I take on another one.” He grinned when he heard Wen Qing mutter something about how she should have kept her mouth shut about his condition.

“Mm, A-jie is amazing.” Wen Ning paused for a moment before he gave Wei Wuxian a quick pat on the left shoulder. “Ying-ge.” Then he scurried over to his sister’s side while Wei Wuxian was left stunned silent at his new nickname.

Once Wen Ning was within reach, Wen Qing cradled his face between her hands and gazed into his eyes until he gave a slight nod. There was a rasp to her voice when she told him to prepare for the transfer, which disappeared when she ordered Wei Wuxian to her side so she could explain to him what she required over the next couple days. Basically, he would watch the first part of the operation to become familiar with the items Wen Qing needed, would fetch anything she asked him to, and would provide spiritual energy to her, Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng.

He quickly agreed to everything, considering that Wen Qing was doing all the hard work and Wen Ning giving up his own golden core, leaving him to do very little (relatively speaking).

Wei Wuxian had already considered Wen Qing a brilliant doctor, having read through the medical treatises she’d written and witnessing her talent first-hand. Now, he had to agree with Wen Ning’s assertion that she was the best one alive after watching her painstakingly heal the damage Wen Zhului had wrought to his brother’s meridians so Wen Ning’s core could be transplanted into his body, her concentration and control not slipping once over the long hours. He fed them both a slight stream of energy and tried not to think of his friend’s hands in his brother’s abdomen.

He tried not to think about how very soon, those hands would be in Wen Ning’s abdomen.

When it came time to remove Wen Ning’s golden core, the young man laid down beside Jiang Cheng without any hesitation, a reassuring smile on his broad face which froze in place when his sister paralyzed him with her needles. Wei Wuxian held his friend’s hand as Wen Qing cut into his flesh, the tightness around her eyes her only sign of distress.

If Wei Wuxian thought that time had passed slowly while she had worked on Jiang Cheng, it practically crawled during the hours it took for Wen Qing to remove Wen Ning’s golden core. Only the fact that the glowing sphere didn’t disperse into nothing when she quickly shoved it into Jiang Cheng’s lower belly made the muffled moans of agony from Wen Ning bearable, put to rest the thought that such a selfless young man had suffered everything for no reason.

It took a couple more hours before Wen Qing finished with everything (and finally allowed her brother to pass out); she slumped exhausted next to Wei Wuxian, who’d practically drained himself dry feeding spiritual energy to her, Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning. “Stop that,” she mumbled when he tried to give her a little more. “Think of the baby.”

“I’m thinking I won’t be any good for anyone if something goes wrong.” He groaned as he rested against the side of the tent as well. “It worked, right?” The last time he’d checked, he felt a steady pulse of qi in Jiang Cheng; it wasn’t as strong as his old core had been, but it was there. Wei Wuxian figured that for now, it was enough for Jiang Cheng to wield a sword and fly (for short distances at least), and that his brother would work hard to make it stronger.

“Yes, it worked.” Wen Qing cast a tender look at her brother. “It had to work.”

“What happens now?”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as if contemplating the question; Wei Wuxian got up to pour them each a cup of tea, and smiled when Wen Qing gave him a slight nod in gratitude for the drink. “Now… I’ll monitor them for a few more hours. Once he’s stable, you can leave. When he’s healed enough, I’ll let him wake up so he can go, too.”

“What about you?” Wei Wuxian frowned when she didn’t answer. “What are the two of you going to do?”

Wen Qing gave a one-shoulder shrug. “What does it matter? You got what you wanted.”

“Because I wasn’t lying when I said you’re family now,” he said as he lowered the cup of tea. “And I want to know that my family will be safe. Don’t make your didi worry about you.” He pouted for added effect.

She turned enough to look at him, her expression inscrutable, before she shook her head, a hint of a smile on her lips. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I’m adorable, brilliant and handsome, my shijie tells me that all the time.” He smiled when Wen Qing rolled her eyes at that statement.

“You’re also delusional.” When he went to complain, Wen Qing held up her hand and gave him a stern look before she glanced at their sleeping brothers. “I’ll wait until A-Ning heals, which will take longer, and then we’ll return to the Supervisory Office.”

He frowned at that and rubbed his nose. “Is that wise? What if they come looking for Wen Ning for helping us?”

Wen Qing shook her head then sipped her tea; Wei Wuxian shifted so he could lift the pot and refill her cup. “Let them come. I’ll tell them I’ve already handled his punishment.”

It took Wei Wuxian a moment to realize what she meant. “You’ll tell them that you removed his golden core for helping us.” He gazed at her in admiration, for being able to turn her brother’s sacrifice into something that would protect them both.

She nodded once. “It’s a way fo both of us to escape Wen Rouhan’s wrath without him being turned into a puppet or being tortured, and should keep him from being sent to fight.”

No one needed to know that Wen Ning had done it willingly or that Wen Qing would never treat her beloved younger brother so harshly, no one but the three of them. “We’ll still keep this a secret from Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian had planned to not let his brother know about the transfer of golden cores when it was supposed to be his golden core sacrificed, and saw no reason for that to change now.

Wen Qing nodded again. “That’s likely for the best,” she said, which surprised Wei Wuxian since she’d argued differently before. “He’ll probably suspect A-Ning of some ulterior motive for giving up his core.”

Wei Wuxian didn't say anything, he merely pressed his lips together at the thought of how Jiang Cheng couldn’t see past the hatred for all Wens and realize how much the two siblings had done for them. Instead, he inhaled slowly and took the empty cup from Wen Qing’s slightly trembling hand. “Get some rest,” he told her. “I’ll watch these two for a few hours and wake you if there’s any sign of trouble. Sleep a little then you can check Jiang Cheng one more time before I go.”

It looked as if she wanted to argue, but Wen Qing was too exhausted from the golden core transfer to remain awake much longer. She examined Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng briefly then finally stretched out near her brother to sleep, unconscious within a few seconds.

Wei Wuxian brewed more tea and nibbled on a handful of dried fruit one of the Wen siblings had packed (probably Wen Ning) while he forced himself to remain awake. He would check his brother and Wen Ning every now and then, to reassure himself that Jiang Cheng’s new golden core hadn’t vanished and that Wen Ning continued to recover, then tried to distract himself with plans on what to do next.

He’d leave Jiang Cheng on the mountain with the Wen siblings to continue healing and go to Yilin to wait for him at the inn they’d agreed upon earlier. Once they both were up to it, they’d travel to Lanling to reunite with Jiang Yanli and look into the rumors of Qinghe calling the clans together for war.

Oh, and at some point Wei Wuxian would have to let his brother in on the secret about his lotus seed, but one thing at a time. He figured he’d worry about that when he was far enough along that they couldn’t fight—well, that Jiang Yanli was there to keep Jiang Cheng from throttling him then attempting to kill Lan Zhan for ‘besmirching’ his ‘honor’.

“Ah, lotus seed, it may be small but it’s a wonderful family you’ll have,” he whispered while he rubbed his belly. “Your aunt will spoil you with the best food and your uncle will fight off anyone who dares to look at you the wrong way. You certainly will be loved.” He thought about the stranger he’d met at the market in Yunmeng, right after he’d realized he was pregnant. Somehow, the woman had known about his condition when not even Madame Yu had figured it out, and had gifted him with the beaded charm bracelet he now wore on his left wrist, which she swore would provide protection to him and his child. She also had said that his child would be a powerful cultivator and that she had an old soul, the woman’s expression wistful as she talked about the unborn babe.

Wei Wuxian wasn’t one to take such prophecies seriously, but there’d been something about the woman, a quiet yet deep thrum of power to her, a reverberation of truth to her words, and a comforting sense to the bracelet, that he accepted the gift and bowed in gratitude to her before walking away. That and… well, who didn’t want to hear that their child would grow into a powerful cultivator? Not that he had many doubts of it happening, considering that Lan Zhan was the father.

“I do hope you’re a girl,” he said as he glanced at a sleeping Wen Qing. “Someone like mom to give those stuffy Lans fits.” He didn’t think that Lan Zhan would try to force any claim on the child if the truth came out, not when there was no mating bond between them nor marriage, but there would be less pressure on the Lan clan’s heir if Wei Wuxian bore a girl; they tended to favor men as sect leaders, not women.

“You’ll be Yunmeng Jiang, just like me.” Wei Wuxian smiled as he thought about a young woman robed in purple, her long hair held back with a red ribbon. Would she have grey eyes like him and his mother, or golden ones like Lan Zhan? Best if they were grey, he decided. He hoped she would have his mother’s smile, one of the few things he clearly remembered about her, and the sense of humor everyone said he had inherited from the woman.

Mostly, he wished that his child never grew up like he did, starving on the streets and all alone, orphaned at a young age. He swore he’d always be there for his child, that they would never know such grief and fear.

When he felt as if he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, Wen Qing stirred and slowly sat up. She blinked a couple times then whirled around to her brother, her hands seeking out the pulse point on his left wrist; after a moment, she sagged in relief then continued with the examination. While she did that, Wei Wuxian brewed a fresh pot of tea.

Once she had examined Jiang Cheng as well, he handed her a cup of tea. “Everything good?”

“Yes.” Her dark eyes narrowed while she sipped the hot beverage. “Did you get any rest?” When he shrugged, she set the cup aside and snatched at his wrist, only to click her tongue after a few seconds. “You’re very low on spiritual energy and nearing the limits of your body. You need to sleep.”

“I’ll get plenty, once I get to Yilin,” he promised, even going as far as to raise three fingers by his forehead. “I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t forget that you’re responsible for more than yourself now.” Wen Qing placed a hand over his growing belly and concentrated for a few seconds before she clicked her tongue again. “What the gods were thinking by making you an omega, we’ll never know,” she said as she turned away.

“That my children will be as beautiful, clever and adored as I am,” Wei Wuxian said after he stuck his tongue at her (while her back was turned, he wasn’t stupid).

Wen Qing glanced heavenward as if beseeching the gods for patience, then shoved several things into a small bag. Once she was done, she handed it to Wuxan. “Chew on these on your way to Yilin. And be careful from now on,” she admonished, her tone harsh but eyes filled with concern, “because there’s not much else we can do for you.”

Wei Wuxian accepted the bag and gave her a deep bow. “I am eternally in you and Wen Qionglin’s debt for everything you’ve done for me and my siblings. If you need anything, you just have to ask. Anything.”

She sighed and tugged on the sleeve of his black hanfu to make him stand up straight. “I thought we were family now, there’s no need for such things.” Then she wrinkled her upturned nose. “That and it seems unnatural, seeing you act like this.”

“Aww, Qing-jie is- aiya!” Wei Wuxian stumbled backwards, away from the needles suddenly brandished in his face.

“Don’t call me that, and shouldn’t you be leaving?” Wen Qing gave him a cool look and didn’t put the needles away until he nodded.

She begrudgingly waited for him to say ‘goodbye’ to his unconscious brother then walked with him back to the trail which would lead down the mountain. Assured that JIang Cheng would be alright, as would Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian wished her ‘goodbye’ as well and went on his way. He discovered that she’d given him several small balls of herbs that tasted horrible when he chewed them, but helped push aside the exhaustion so that he made good time back to Yilin.

Still, all he wanted was to eat a good meal, have a long, hot bath and then sleep for a day or two. He thought longingly about a few jars of wine, until he felt the charm bracelet slip along his left wrist.

“The sacrifices I make for you, lotus seed,” he said as he walked, struck by a strong pang of loss yet again for Subian; if only he had his sword, he’d already be in Yilin.

If only he had his sword, maybe things would have been different when the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier.

Eventually, he finally arrived at the designated inn on the outskirts of Yilin; he was so tired, he hardly recalled much of the last half-day of travel. Perhaps that was the reason why Wen Chao found him so quickly, or maybe it was just a case of truly bad luck. All Wei Wuxian knew was that he’d barely sat down in the inn when Wen Chao, along with Wen Zhuliu, Wang Lingjiao and several soldiers, burst into the building.

He got up to run away, only to find Wen Zhuliu in his path; the man grabbed him by the front of his robes with his left hand, his right hand pressed against Wei Wuxian’s chest, before the bastard frowned and pulled the hand back to punch Wei Wuxian instead and send him flying through the air to land on top of a table. Exhausted and still drained of energy, both physical and spiritual, Wei Wuxian could do little more than curl his body in a manner to protect the child growing inside of it.

As soon as he regained his footing, one of the soldiers kicked him in the back, which knocked him onto the ground. Wen Chao, the smug asshole, trod on his right hand and taunted him, asking him why didn’t he get up and where his arrogance had gone. He was told to get back up, despite the asshole standing on his foot; eventually two soldiers had to haul him upright.

“Where is Jiang Cheng?” Wen Chao demanded to know. “What, you don't want to talk? You know you can’t save him even if you remain silent. Right now, Jiang Cheng is merely a waste. He’s no better than livestock.”

Wei Wuxian listened to the useless second son of the Wen clan insult his brother and the Yunmeng Jiang clan, as he was told to beg like a dog (a dog!) and crawl on the ground if he wanted to be let go (he knew it was a lie, did Wen Chao think he was as stupid as him?). Even Wang Lingjiao started yipping away as if she was of any importance.

Of course Wei Wuxian didn’t take them up on their ‘offer’ (blatant lie), so it wasn’t any surprise when the arrogant asshole ordered his soldiers to beat him; once again, Wei Wuxian curled up in a protective manner to protect his child as much as possible. Part of him wondered how the soldiers would react if they knew they were attacking a pregnant omega, before he decided that Wen Chao probably wouldn’t care about breaking such an important taboo (and he couldn’t risk the Wens finding out that Lan Zhan was the father).

The assault eventually stopped, only for Wen Chao to threaten Wei Wuxian as if he was anything more than a pathetic bully whose only real power lay in the weapons his father loaned out to him. There was a moment of fear when he called upon Wen Zhuliu to destroy Wei Wuxian’s core, but Wei Wuxian managed to talk his way out of it before the man moved to obey. He foolishly believed that might be improving (despite Wang Lingjiao slicing into his chest with that damn brand she never seemed to be without), before he was dragged out of outside and hauled into the air.

At first he thought they might be taking him to Qishan with the intent of throwing him in the dungeons there, but eventually Wen Chao, the pompous asshole, began talking about the Burial Mounds in Yiling. Wei Wuxian’s eyes grew wide and his heart raced when it became clear what was going to happen to him, but he was too battered and drained of energy to do more than attempt to struggle. Not a moment later, mocking laughter broke out as he was flung downward, toward the darkness and source of overpowering resentful energy that was the Burial Mounds.

Pushing all panic aside, he quickly cast a talisman for wind in an attempt to slow his descent; it worked somewhat, but he still rushed toward the ground. He tried another one, which seemed to have a greater effect (there was an odd heat around his left wrist for some reason), so he then cast his binding spell, the gleaming blue thread forming on his left wrist, which he cast out as he quickly approached what looked to be large trees. Be it by luck or the blessings of the gods, it managed to latch on to one of the tall, spindly structures. A sharp pain tore through his left shoulder when the line grew taut, but his impact upon the ground was lessened to the point that he didn’t die immediately.

No, he merely passed out.

He woke to the sound of screams, of voices calling out his names and cries of vengeance, and a wall of fierce corpses standing in the near distance. Surprised that he hadn’t been devoured by the undead creatures while unconscious, he noticed two things: that there was a glowing, pale blue circle around him and that just outside of it floated the sword he’d found inside the Tortoise of Slaughter and had placed inside his quankin pouch. Confused, battered both by resentful energies and what the Wens had done to him, Wei Wuxian managed to sit up somewhat, hunched forward as he felt for the spark of life inside of him that had been steadily growing the last few months. He almost slumped face first into the ground when he realized that his unborn child had survived everything (so far, a hysterical voice whispered in his head) by some miraculous means.

He needed to get his act together and ensure his lotus seed remained alright; that meant figuring a way to get out of the Burial Mounds alive, something no one had ever done. It was a good thing the Yunmeng Jiang clan’s motto was ‘attempt the impossible’.

He took in the bleak surroundings: the bones scattered everywhere and numerous gravestones, the mist which obscured his vision after a few yards, and a lack of sunlight which made it impossible to tell the time of day. There was the oppressive miasma of resentful energy along with the endless chorus of voices calling out to him, which he did his best to block out of his head. His right hand clutched at the bracelet around his left wrist while he attempted to concentrate, his fingers quick to find the gap from two missing beads.

Had they been broken in the fall? Or during the beating back at the inn? Wei Wuxian didn’t have much time to ponder what had happened to the charm since the intensity of the voices’ shrieking increased to a painful level, as did the pressure from the resentful energy. He struggled to fight against the insidious forces, but he didn’t have much spiritual energy.

However, he remembered that the odd sword had some sort of power to it, that it seemed tied to the ghostly voices in the Dusk-Creek Mountain cave. Or maybe he’d hit his head on something during the fall, or been kicked one too many times by those Wen bastards. The thing was, he and his unborn child weren’t going anywhere unless he did something, and right then? The sword seemed the only source of power around, which meant it might be of some help.

Or it might be one huge mistake, but Wei Wuxian didn’t have many choices available as well as a history of turning mistakes into his favor (well, mostly).

He half-crawled toward the sword and only hesitated a moment to reach past the safety of the circle (where had it come from?) for the weapon’s hilt. For a moment all was quiet, and then the screaming came back in force.

Wei Wuxian

Do you want vengeance?

Young Master Wei

Stay with us

Hurt the ones who’ve hurt you, Wei Wuxian

Wei Ying

Do you want to stay?

What about vengeance?

The voices were so loud, so constant, as were their shrieks of pain and rage. He thought some of them sounded familiar, thought they might be the dead from Lotus Pier, yet he also thought he heard Lan Zhan say his name once or twice when he dwelled on the voices calling for vengeance. By the time he reached the sword, the voices were an incoherent cacophony in his head that funneled to one thunderous question as his hands wrapped around ice-cold metal.

DO YOU WANT VENGEANCE?

For a moment, Wei Wuxian could see himself standing in the Palace of Sun and Flames, surrounded by an endless sea of Wen corpses, the heads of Wen Rouhan and his sons mounted on pikes behind him. He hungered for the vision to come true, for the Wens to pay for what they’d done to the Jiangs and the Lans… and then he felt a faint flutter in his belly and heard Wen Qing chide him to take better care of himself.

“I… I want the power to protect myself and my loved ones,” he told the voice (the sword?). “To defend them from those who would cause harm.” Who had caused harm.

VENGEANCE!

He thought of Jiang Yanli and shook his head.”I want more than that for my child!” He didn’t want someone to come after her for what he’d done, he wanted an end to the fighting. “Protection!”

Child?

A child. Home

Family

It was faint, but some of the voices seemed to be breaking off from the sword. “Yes, a child, my child. I’ll fight anyone to keep them safe, can’t you understand that?” To give them a happy, safe life.” I want to give them peace, not eternal war,” he pleaded with the sword and the voices. “I understand revenge, I want it, too, but not at the cost of my child’s peace. Help me give my child peace.”

Vengeance

Family, they took away my family

I only wanted a husband and child of my own

Wei Ying

My child was so young

Was he getting somewhere with them? Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth together, his hands long turned numb from holding onto the sword, and offered the voices (the dead) a consoling smile. “Help me, and I’ll help you,” he promised.

*******

Somehow all my italics got messed up. Grrr.

So, the a/b/o here - it’s more lowkey than in other fics, if you can’t tell, and basically comes across as how people reproduce. People don’t put down omegas as being weak or lesser, it just means they are more fertile than betas and can bear children (and so usually have a protected status, especially when pregnant). An alpha/omega pairing will produce the most offspring, but other pairings can technically produce them as well, just with less odds of success. That means no one looks down on WWX for being an omega, though they’d chastise him (and his partner) for having a child out of wedlock and for him not taking care of himself while pregnant. That’s more to deal with the value placed on family and honor than anything.

No obvious scenting, either, at least not until one is in heat/rut, and it’s considered normal for people to take daily medicine (tea or the such) to lessen the impact of them if not put them off all-together, and to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

Also, I’m probably going to skip most honorifics except the immediate family ones. I’ve only the very beginning knowledge of Chinese. Please forgive any mistakes there along with the culture, I appreciate any corrections.

And I promise, a new chapter of Casts a Shadow up this weekend!

#nekojitachanfics #mumbling into the void #don't wanna fall fic #wangxian #the untamed #mdzs #cql

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lotusjwy · 4 years ago

Note

“You can trust me” for our boys Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen? 👀

ooooh boy, carrie u just know me. i wrote this so easily, idk WHY that was so easy to write honestly.

enjoy around 2k words of xicheng being mean to each other bro, i needa go make them kiss or smth this hurt

It wasn’t a very common occurrence, but ever since the events at Guanyin Temple, Lan Xichen would sometimes have days, where most people around would know to give him a wide berth, lest he spit poisonous words at them. These days were unlike the days where he had no desire to exist in the world. Instead, on these days he was infinitely angry at the world. There was never any rhyme or reason to the days – at least, no pattern that he had been able to recognise that would trigger or prompt him to get in these moods. And no one would be safe from the words he spoke, regardless of who they were to him.

Lan Wangji had learnt first-hand to leave his brother alone when he was in these moods, when Xichen had called him a disgrace to the Lan Sect ways due to his devotion to Wei Wuxian. That Wei Wuxian was a menace to their society and that perhaps they would have benefitted had he met the same fate as his parents. After the fact, Xichen had profusely apologies, explaining that he that he didn’t know why he had said what he had said and that he didn’t mean them. And while Lan Wangji had accepted his apology, their relationship had been strained for a long while after that. In order to protect their brotherhood, both would avoid each other on these days.

However, it would seem that Lan Wangji hadn’t passed this message along to Jiang Wanyin, who was currently pounding on the entrance to the Hanshi, which Lan Xichen had been refusing to open for the past ten minutes. He knew that if he let the other in, that it may come to blows with Lan Xichen’s foul mood and Jiang Wanyin’s general angry disposition. After another few minutes of having to listen to Jiang Wanyin yelling his name, Lan Xichen slammed the doors open, his face displaying the annoyance that he was feeling at the situation.

“You would think, Sect Leader Jiang, that after a few minutes of not receiving a response, you would get the message that I do not wish to speak with you.” His voice was cold and icy, not leaving any room for argument.

Or so he thought, were he not speaking with Jiang Wanyin. Jiang Wanyin who looked confrontation in the face and barrelled right through.

“You don’t want to talk to me?” Jiang Cheng’s voice was full of disbelief that the other was acting this way, so early in the morning. He’d never seen Lan Xichen acting like this.

“I want you to leave.” Lan Xichen could feel his patience growing thin, if the other didn’t leave right now, then he didn’t know what would come from the following interaction.

“Well, too bad. Since when have I ever left you alone when you’re in a bad mood? Talk to me about it, perhaps that will help you navigate back to being yourself.” With those seemingly simple words, Jiang Wanyin further entered the Hanshi and sat down in front of Lan Xichen.

“There is nothing I wish to speak about with you, at this moment. Leave.” He took a calming breath, willing himself to not lose himself.

“You can trust me, Lan Xichen.” Jiang Wanyin’s voice was earnest and full of understanding, he was being exactly the type of friend Lan Xichen would crave any other day. But not today, today he is angry at the world, and is willing to fight with anyone, and so that’s just what he does.

“I thought I could trust Jin Guangyao. Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang thought they could trust me. Yet all forms of this trust were broken within a few tragic moments.” His voice was hard, not like the usual calming voice that Jiang Wanyin had grown used to over these months. “You’ll find I’m unable to readily believe your words.”

It had been months into their growing friendship – relationship maybe – yet Jiang Cheng had never realised that Lan Xichen still struggled with trust. “And I fucking thought I could trust Wei Wuxian, yet you don’t see me shutting myself off from the fucking world over it.”

“No, you just tortured people out of spite, out of hatred towards your brother. They were innocent people you tortured, yet you did it anyway. Perhaps the world would have benefited from shutting yourself off from the world. More people would be alive.” Internally, Lan Xichen hated himself for even uttering those words, knowing this was something that haunted Jiang Wanyin even after all these years.

Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes at the other, not understanding why the other was verbally attacking him like this. “Every person I killed was a demonic cultivator, you don’t believe they deserved it?”

“Perhaps demonic cultivation is the wrong path to take, however you didn’t offer rehabilitation for them? Surely, you had other avenues to help that didn’t result to torture. No, instead you had to let your anger take charge as usual.” His voice turning to morbid fascination as he continued to speak, he could see Jiang Wanyin slowly grow more and more angry as he continued to speak his poisons.

Oh. So, he wanted to play that game? Unluckily for Lan Xichen, Jiang Wanyin had been waiting for someone to bring this up with him, thought admittedly he never expected someone he thought was his friend to bring it up.

“Do you know how many demonic cultivators I came across that were previously of the Lan Sect, Sect Leader Lan? It would seem your sect doesn’t offer its’ own members the rehabilitation that you’re so bravely offering right now.”

“You’re lying.” Xichen narrowed his eyes at Jiang Wanyin, not believing his words for a second. He’d have noticed if his disciples were following such paths, he’d have known.

“I’m in Cloud Recesses, esteemed Zewu-jun. Lies aren’t allowed here.” With a smirk, he continued speaking, a smug lilt to his voice, “I can even show you the pile of forehead ribbons that came with each of the cultivators. I have a collection, if you would like to call it that, of little mementos that link each demonic cultivator to a sect.”

“Why would you keep them? Rumour has it you burnt the bodies where they lay.” He was determined to not let the other win this argument.

“And create damage to the sect that I so painfully built back up? No, my disciples disposed of the bodies. You’re not wrong, they were burnt, just not in Lotus Pier. Lotus Pier has seen enough flames to last an eternity.” And Jiang Cheng was never present for any of the burnings. He’d witnessed too much burning flesh in his lifetime, he never wants to see or smell that ever again.

“You’ve not yet explained why you would keep articles from the bodies.” He tried to keep his voice steady and absent from any of the anger that was rushing through his veins. He’d never wanted to yell at another so desperately before.

“To remind myself that while the once first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang created demonic cultivation, that I never once came across another demonic cultivator from within my own sect.” It was an odd pride he’d always felt. A secret pride that he’d never spoken about to anyone before now. “There were countless from the Nie, Jin and Lan sects, yet none from my own. Fascinating isn’t it? That somehow the sect where demonic cultivation was founded never produced another known demonic cultivator.”

“Isn’t that because they saw first-hand what you did to demonic cultivators?” Forcing his voice to sound calm and uninterested, Lan Xichen was determined to make Jiang Wanyin feel as bad as he was making Lan Xichen feel with his words.

Jiang Cheng let out a snort, “partially, I won’t deny that. However, I believe they saw what it could to do those around them. How negatively it could impact on everyone, including themselves. The issue all you fucking hypocrites have is that you just tell your disciples that demonic cultivation is bad, and they should never pursue it, or you will punish them.”

“And what? You believe you have the upper ground here?”

“Gods no. I’ll never claim to have an upper ground, we lived through a war, we were all bound to fuck up in some way or another. But I tell my disciples in explicit detail what demonic cultivation can do to families. I remind them of Jin Ling who grew up without parents due to the inability to control demonic cultivation. Because if a genius like Wei Wuxian couldn’t fucking control it, then what luck did a lowly disciple have?”

And that was something Jiang Cheng had spent years working through himself. The knowledge the Wei Wuxian didn’t mean for everything to go as badly as it did. That he had just lost control of the situation and it had grown and grown until the unthinkable had happened, and Jin Guangyao took explicit control of the situation. It was still something he had to talk himself through, on his bad days. But he would not have Lan Xichen attempt to make him feel bad about the things that he has been through, no matter who they are to each other.

Looking away from Jiang Wanyin, Lan Xichen grit his teeth and spoke tersely, “I see.”

“That’s all you have to say?” He couldn’t believe the other was acting like this. Xichen had spat venom yet seemed to be retreating the second Jiang Cheng fought back. Coward.

“I don’t know what else you want from me.” He let out a heavy sigh, and turned back to Jiang Wanyin, his eyebrows raised, as if asking why the other was still here.

Jiang Cheng laughed frostily, voice full of hurt and regret, “I had thought that the two of us had an understanding after all these months. It would seem that I was wrong to think you would ever trust someone as vile as me.”

“No one asked for you to attach yourself to me.” He almost winced, as he said it, knowing that they were about to cross dangerous territories in this conversation. Perhaps with irreversible consequences.

“Attach myself? Lan Xichen, need I remind you who fucking approached who first, or have you coincidentally lost all memory of that moment?” Lan Xichen. That was the answer. Lan fucking Xichen had approached Jiang Cheng with hopes of friendship first, right out of his seclusion, so why the fuck was he acting so haughty now?

“I approached you out of desperation on my part. I wished to forget A-Yao’s existence, and so I approached you. You who is so very clearly unlike him. It meant nothing more to me and has seemed to have run its course.” I’m sorry, I don’t mean it, he wanted to be able to say, but his mood didn’t allow him to, his words leaving his mouth faster than he could shove them back in and never have the time to utter them.

“Of course, I’m the fool in this situation. Why would the great Lan Xichen approach lowly Jiang Wanyin for friendship or anything more? It would seem you were correct, my trust in you was misplaced, I will endeavour to rectify that mistake of mine. Thank you for the honourable life lesson, esteemed Sect Leader.” With a final, stilted and angry bow, Jiang Cheng turned around and left the room, muttering under his breath about ungrateful people.

As Jiang Cheng stormed out, Lan Xichen closed his eyes in defeat. Ah, Lan Huan, you’ve finally done it. You’ve finally pushed away everyone that genuinely gave you care. Jiang Cheng wasn’t like Wangji, who had forgiven his words without a second of hesitation, no Jiang Cheng would remember each word that had been uttered in this room. Once scorned, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t return without a genuine apology, an apology that Lan Xichen wasn’t sure he was ready to give the other. Not without thinking more deeply about what kind of a relationship he wanted with the other.

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yichens · 4 years ago

Note

for the character ask...OUR FAV BOY LIU SANG

(*´∇｀*)/💖

i had to come answer this one bc!! my son!!!! aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!! so thank you sob now i can talk about my second sour grape boy,,, wait. ok well, hissy kitten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ spot the difference (you can’t)

give me a character

(placing this one under a cut too bc oh boy. i have things to say about liu sang)

How I feel about this character

Good lord. I feel so many ways about Liu Sang. He is absolutely amazing but he also just drives me insane every day. No other character has ever given me such headaches, he must be proud. Finally someone suffers as much as him (because I bet those ears cause him a permanent migraine). I feel sorry for him. I’ll take this pain gladly if it helps him in any way.

But well. As simply as with Jiang Cheng, I do love Liu Sang. I shouldn’t really be surprised (at this point) that I fell in love with him but back when I was watching Reboot, he hit me like a truck. Which,,, he probably drove that truck himself, judging from the way he was handling the car chase with Jiang Zisuan. Just ruthlessly drove me over. I never stood a chance, not in front of that arrogance and stubbornness and enormous puppy eyes.

And with all of himself, good and bad, he makes me feel so many things. One of those, probably the strongest one, is protectiveness. He needs someone to protect him from himself because he has a nasty self-destruction streak going. Boy has not known love since he was born. He has gone through way too much to try handle it alone. I can’t even remember how old he is supposed to be in Reboot (maybe 29?), but that is way too many years of fighting a battle he was never supposed to win. But he pulled through. Cynical and prickly and absolutely terrified of any human contact but he fucking pulled through. I want to fight some battles for him now. He deserves to rest. He deserves some peace and quiet and unconditional care. I want to tell him that he doesn’t deserve all the pain he’s going through, all the pain he himself is putting his body through because he thinks he can only be used as a punching bag. I want to tell him he deserves friends. I want to tell him that it’s okay to trust people again. I want to... just protect him. And maybe this is why – because of all this fragile mess I’ve discovered from inside of him while trying to figure out who he is – I struggle so much with writing him. I feel like I’m bringing up things no one is supposed to see. I feel like I’m pulling out words from him like teeth. But at the same time, I know he’s desperate to tell these things.

So I struggle because I love him. Willingly. But oh boy does he annoy me sometimes, under all that protectiveness and fondness I have for him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I am quite sure at this point that I don’t really ship Liu Sang with anyone. No one clicks with him in my head so well that I could feel myself slipping into the proper shipping territory. But I haven’t minded any of the ships I’ve seen for him, not Pingxiesang (which makes me super soft) or him with Kanjian (which is so sweet) or even @kholran’s pool noodle Risang (which is very interesting and I will read your fic, friend, when I am out of my Pingxie pit! I just need to feed these beasts first). I am mostly just very intrigued by all these ships people come up with because it really plays to my wish to just explore his dynamic with every other character that is available for him.

But to put it simply: Not one perfect match exists for him yet in my head. Let’s give boy some time to figure out freindships first.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, this one I love because! This is what he is all about for me, somehow. So I will mention three: Xiaoge, Bai Haotian, and Pangzi.

First, like I already mentioned in my Xiaoge answer, I adore Liu Sang’s dynamic with his ouxiang. They are both so damn awkward. I feel like I’m following a train wreck happening in slow motion any time I see them interact but instead of death and flames and screeching metal, it’s. surprisingly soft and sweet? They are both very tentative when it comes to people so they somehow get each other? Even if Liu Sang is a mess when it comes to Xiaoge which I totally get because I have once in my life met a person I consider a celebrity and who I look up to a lot and I was just shaking. And giggling. And acting dumbly. So I don’t blame Liu Sang for any of that; I’m actually quite proud that he’s keeping his cool so well and despite the rough start, manages to be a huge asset to his ouxiang. I am so happy that he gets to have this budding friendship with Xiaoge because they both need it.

Then! Bai Haotian. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately and the more I rewatch some of their scenes together, the more I notice that they really develop a bond during Reboot. They are in a very similar position: brought in because of their idols, young, sometimes overlooked, struggling, and usually falling behind. And oh, definitely in need of some saving and with tragic backstories. They could be such amazing friends, and I think they come to trust and care for each other during their trip to Thunder City. Bai Haotian is so caring by nature and then Liu Sang is just right there. And Bai Haotian is so lowkey about her care; she doesn’t push if people don’t want her to, which works so well for Liu Sang. She’s there when needed. She doesn’t ask too much. She knows how it feels to look up to one of the members of the Iron Triangle and then curl your own life around them. (She also knows how it feels to have a crush on that same member and then notice that crush will never lead you anywhere, though I guess Bai Haotian comes to realize that during their trip instead of years before but well, details.) She doesn’t judge Liu Sang and somehow Liu Sang comes to rely on her a lot.

And last but not least (never the least!): Pangzi. God I adore these two to bits. Their banter is just *chef’s kiss* and when I look at them, all I can think about is a big dog trying to pat a hissing kitten with its paw. Which then turns to the kitten play fighting the dog’s big paw. And then getting tired. And falling asleep. While the huge dog just curls its body around the kitten to keep it warm, and maybe the kitten swats at the dog slightly for show but actually it enjoys it. Because it’s nice and soft and very warm. So yes, I love it how Pangzi and Liu Sang start off as enemies but come to care for each other. I cry about the peanut scene every day. Yes please adopt this poor stray kitten, he deserves a loving home ;; Give him food and a blanket and maybe he will hiss a little less (Pangzi also gives great hugs and Liu Sang deserves a dozen. For starters.)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Once again I am at a loss with this. I don’t really know what this fandom thinks about Liu Sang? I feel like our tiny Liu Sang hyping corner here on tumblr is very much unified with the opinions. We all love him a lot and want the best for him, case closed. So maybe I’ll just talk about my hypersensitivity headcanon for him? Let me do that for fun haha

So, I know he’s sensitive to sounds. Understandable, with his skills. And I feel bad for him for that because it must be horrible at times (we get introduced to him through him vomiting because he can’t handle a train station with all the noise, christ) but I also somehow relate to that. I get sensitive to sounds sometimes too. A simple click of my mouse can be annoying at times. I require absolute silence quite often, and this intensifies if my emotions are on the negative side. So, somehow I’m taking things from that. Touch hurts when he’s feeling bad about himself. Noises annoy him when he’s angry or scared. Lights look too bright or he feels like he can’t focus his gaze when he’s sad or panicking. Smells and tastes are intensified when he’s stressed. I dunno, just simple little things. Him feeling through his senses. Him just generally being sensitive with his feelings because this world is a demanding place and pushes you into feeling things. And I feel like a lot about him is already tied to his hearing so why not his feelings too? I’ve read so many nice takes on him which somehow support this so I feel like this just fits right in.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Liu Sang joins the final celebration!! Him just disappearing doesn’t make sense at all!!!! Let him get hugs!!! Let him be happy!!!! Oh my god. I was so mad about that and still am because no way did he just leave and not join his new friends for this final evening!!! Dammit. No matter how much he feels like he doesn’t belong and like he’s just “a hired talent” among them, he’s not that dull!! He got those damn peanuts and some hugs and shoulder pats from people, he was there saving the day, he managed to create bonds!!! And god, knowing Wu Xie, he would never allow Liu Sang to think that lowly of himself!!!! He would be there to offer Liu Sang the world if he wants it!! Gaaaahhhh

So yeah, give Liu Sang his moment with his new family or I am throwing something, for fuck’s sakes

thank you again for sending me these asks ♥ i’ll answer the rest during these next few days! you’re amazing!!

#i would give him my right arm #or my lungs #if he asked #so here take my blabberings #also gonna tag this as #liu sang #bc i know ppl out there love him #and we like to see each other blabber lol

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wangjiplayingwangji · 4 years ago

Note

Can I have please, a bit of Xicheng in which Jiang cheng is being defended by his disciples first, and he doesn't belive he deserves it. Only for Xichen to later do the same to him and defend him in front of other cultivators and Lan Wangji and even Wei Wuxian?

As we know JC deserves all the love and I think his sect and Xichen are more than willing to give it to him.

Thbak you so much for writing if you are interested, and if not I still wish you have a great day!!

Hello! THank you for your request!! I did write you a lil something but I hope you don’t mind that it’s just the disciples defending Jiang Cheng.

Not that I don't love two protective cultivator husbands that defend each other's honor but I just couldn’t think of an instance where Xichen would have to defend JC in front of the cultivation world, and especially wangxian.

I just don't feel like they'd push that too far to the point LXC feels like he needs to step in and vice versa that JC couldn’t clap back. So I wrote the first bit I hope that’s alright and that it’s still a good read! If you have any other xicheng ideas feel free to throw them my way and I hope you enjoy!

-----------------------------

The first time it happened was not long after the burning of Lotus Pier, culling of the Wens, and the arduous and slow task of rebuilding a Sect from the ground up.

So much had happened in what felt like just a moment and Jiang Cheng once a boy had suddenly found himself needing to be a man.

Still, one does not grow without time and still, a boy at heart Jiang Cheng finds that sleep eludes him in favor of nightmares and he ends up wandering the footways of Jinlintai in the late hours of the night and early hours of the morning.

Lotus Pier had begun taking shape under the Yunmeng Jiang’s siblings dedicated care, but it was the first time in as many months that Jiang Cheng felt the Sect was stable enough to do without him. And through careful planning and with a handful of capable disciples, Jiang Cheng left Lotus Pier in the capable hands of his sister.

Wei Wuxian had been hard-pressed to avoid the conference at all costs, so much so that even the Lan contingent containing the Youngest Jade of Lan hadn’t been enough to convince him. As such he had also remained behind, instructed to teach the remaining disciples in their Sect Leaders stead, though Jiang Cheng couldn’t see Wei Wuxian teaching them any more than troublemaking. Still, with no more excuses and nothing left to be done, Jiang Cheng left to attend his first discussion conference as a Sect Leader.

The days’ events were bland and tackless, Jin Guangshan sat on his throne of pilfered gold and sought to discuss the splicing of the territory they’d left ransacked rather than what should be done with refugees and prisoners of war. Those gathered also seemed more or less complacent to avoid such unpleasant topics and instead licked the boots of the man who’d sacrificed the least to win over tyranny.

Jiang Cheng made his displeasure at the proceedings known and attempted to steer the conversation somewhere productive a variety of times but received no more than what could be seen as patting the head of a particularly disorderly child from his fellows. Jiang Cheng seethed silently at his place setting, speaking only when spoken to with terse and snappish answers under the meetings had finished.

He had no sooner waited for the announcement for the ending of the days’ discussions before he left with a snap of his cloak, not bothering with the custom pleasantries after what is meant to be a “hard days work.”

He retired to his rooms for the night, his only company the visions of his father’s disappointed gaze for how he acted that evening.

And so he ended up here, a ghost along the walkways of the Jin’s estate, unable to sleep away his woes or the visions of his parents.

He rounded a corner into the gardens stopping for a moment when the loud tones of fighting reached his ears. He considered going back, not privy to embarrassing himself further by instigating something with his presence, but something made him creep into the shadow of a pillar nearby and wait.

Peering around the trunk of a tree not far from him Jiang Cheng could make out the signature gold of Jin Sect cultivators as well as the voices and dark robes of his own disciples amongst the bushes.

“-is no more than an insubordinate child!” One of the Jin Cultivators was spitting. “Your so-called Sect Leader is no older than I am! He’s merely a boy playing with his parent’s toys!”

Jiang Cheng flinched where he stood in the dark, he was no fool, he knew what the other Sect’s thought of him, but to hear it so plainly spoken with such disdain would send anyone reeling. And his actions earlier in the day certainly wouldn’t help this reputation either.

“What do you know!” A voice shot back, one that Jiang Cheng recognized as Jiang Huang, an orphan after the siege but determined to follow in his parents’ footsteps as a Jiang disciple. “To your Sect Leader, you are the toys! Disposable, replaceable, and eventually not worth his time! Does your benevolent ruler even know your name? Or the many names of his children?”

“You-!”

“Sect Leader Jiang can call all his members by name and treats everyone with respect! Something you Jin’s know nothing about. Sect Leader Jiang was never disrespectful in his suggestions at the conference, your Sect Leader just can’t stand hearing any voice other than his own!”

“That’s right, that’s right!” Jiang Zhou spoke up. “Discussion conferences aren’t mean for the spoils of war, many things need to be decided while everyone’s together for only a few days yet Jin Guangshan refuses any topic with serious implications!”

“Sure, Sure!” Jiang Ai called out after her shixiong. “Jin-gongzi, you say our Sect Leader is no much older than yourself, but tell me, what have you done that’s comparable to losing your family only to return stronger and proceed to wage war, earn a space at the Sect Leader’s table and rebuild your sect from the ground up? I’m very interested gongzi, surely you must have amassed a great many accomplishments to seem so sure of yourself?”

“You- You- Hmph! What will I gain wasting time explaining my exploits to you? You’re lucky those of us in Jinlintai are more than gracious! I won’t be so forgiving next time!”

The Jin boys ran off after being so sorely defeated and after a moment the remaining Jiang’s dissolved into giggles and quiet excited chatter, exceedingly pleased with themselves.

Jiang Cheng remained where he was long after everyone left, wondering what his disciples saw in him that was worth such fervent defending. The Jing Cultivator was right, he did nothing but make a scene and embarrass himself and his legacy, those following in his footfalls are right to be shamed by his actions and yet-

And yet-

I will work harder. Jiang Cheng decided, staring up at the same watchful moon his parents had surely both stared at in their lifetimes. I will work harder, and one day I will be a Sect Leader worth defending. I will be worthy of those who follow me.

Kofi

#thanks for asking!#mdzsnet #I missed writing little ficlets ngl #jiang cheng #my writing #mdzs ficlets #I hope you like it!#Anonymous #long post

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amedetoiles · 5 years ago

Note

Jiang Cheng for the Give Me A Character thing

[All gifs are mine. No stealing or reposting, thank you. ♥︎]

★ How I feel about this character

I love (1) fashionable angry grape!!!! But he also frustrates the fucking hell out of me. sTOP TALKING TO PEOPLE’S BACKS U STUBBORN FUCK I don’t know why I always pick the trashfire characters. Like he has a very demeaning view on the worth of people’s lives when they are not directly under his responsibility, and we know he makes some Choices on this. He’s sharp-tongued, prone to anger and putting his foot in his mouth, and has an intense fear of failure/low self-worth. A truly perfect (horrible) storm when you toss him into this oppressive hierarchical society with an impending war and shitty abusive parents. BUT his earnestness in wanting his family to be safe and together is very moving and heartbreaking. He tries really, really hard through it all actually. It would have been very easy to side with his mother, but instead, he nopes the fuck outta that disaster, takes his sworn brother, and goes to their sister instead. However bitter he is that he’s never good enough for his father, he for the most part makes a rather concerted effort to not let that be Wei Wuxian’s fault. He is (grudgingly) proud of his brother and proud to be Wei Wuxian’s brother. Jiang Cheng is a person who loves and feels so intensely that he doesn’t know what to do with that tornado of emotions, and oh man, is it a journey watching him try suffer.

★ All the people I ship romantically with this character

Zero..? I’m not super interested in romantic ships for Jiang Cheng. I ship my guy with therapy, recovery, and emotional growth with his family. However, I do have a soft spot for meaningful courting combs being kept safe in a handkerchief hidden somewhere in the back corner of a drawer that he never looks at and pretends doesn’t exist but is always acutely aware of.

★ My non-romantic OTP for this character

YUNMENG SHUANGJIE. Need anybody even ask? *screams and screams about it in the corner* Look, they deserve happiness after all the massive fuckery they and the rest of the world put each other and themselves through. I have read excellent meta about letting go and moving forward from unfixable relationships. But– I call bullshit. They’re brothers. Not only that, they want to be brothers. They want to reconcile. They just don’t know how for a lot of traumatic childhood reasons. But they should be allowed the chance to try, now, without all the distractions of war and imminent death. Like sure, they could be have a version of happiness and at peace without each other, but I don’t think they could ever be whole without this relationship. You can’t be Jiang Cheng without Wei Wuxian, and you can’t be Wei Wuxian without Jiang Cheng. Their happy endings include each other, so why not watch them bloom together?

★ My unpopular opinion about this character

Jiang Cheng was Right™ to be upset about the golden core transfer. (Is this an unpopular opinion? I have no idea what’s popular and unpopular.) He wasn’t being an ungrateful whiny little weasel or other what-have-you reasons that I’ve stumbled upon in the, uh, not-so-nice side of fandom. I say this even though Wei Wuxian is hands-down my absolute favorite character whom I will die on this hill defending. But Jiang Cheng was being rightfully angry over being forced to undergo a life-threatening operation without his consent that left his brother crippled, then lied to about it for 13/16 years. Was his sacrifice very noble and heartbreaking? Yes! Did he do it because he loved his brother? Yes!! Was it still selfish as fuck? You betcha son!!! I don’t know how anyone can look at the utter devastation on Jiang Cheng’s face during the golden core reveal and think “stop crying and be grateful.” That shit hurts.

I’m not judging here. For an orphan, who just lost his second family and was wrongfully blamed for it, to then have to hear his little brother say he wants to die, Wei Wuxian would’ve done anything to save him. But it doesn’t make it any less selfish. While we as an audience knew exactly the kind of sacrifice and pain that Wei Wuxian endured, Jiang Cheng didn’t. To him, his sworn brother and best friend simply decided very abruptly without explanation to fuck off to demonic cultivation and then more or less abandoned him after Jiang Cheng sacrificed his core to save him. Of course, that’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault because he didn’t know (funny how that works), but as you can see, we have, before you, the Twin Idiots of Yunmeng.

★ One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

OCTOPUS HUG HIS BROTHER AGAIN GDI!! I will forever be mad about Jiang Cheng’s loud ass pining from across the courtyard in full view of like everyone, followed by his stubborn unshed tear and bittersweet smile whispering, “Take Care.” Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian in his pretend post-resurrection zen of “that was all in my past life” only to have the most heartbroken face as soon as Jiang Cheng looks way.

Please gtfo with this goddamn bullshit, and go fucking hug each other, you absolute mORONS.

#the untamed #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #mdzs #cqlwuji #ask meme #陈情令 #!mine #!meta #!gifs #yunmeng shuangjie #i love (1) fashionable angry grape #long post #woot thanks for sending so i could ramble about my grape and play around with photoshop #this creative block of mine has been the wORST #this got very long because i am verbose as usual i apologize

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago

Text

Light on the Door (ao3) (WWX in the Nie sect) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3

Nie Mingjue had hoped, somehow, that he would be able to avoid having this conversation. He wasn’t sure how he intended to avoid it – fobbing it off on another family member was beneath his dignity, it was pretty much inevitable to need to happen at some point during adolescence, and no matter how tempting he wasn’t going to up and die just to avoid some awkwardness – he’d still been hopeful.

The time for hope, however wistful and unsustainable, was gone.

“I want to start by telling you that this is a normal development,” he said, trying to keep his tone straightforward and casual, and failing miserably by the expression on Wei Wuxian’s face. “When you start to get older –”

“Please tell me we are not having the sex talk,” Wei Wuxian said, his voice faint with horror. “I have read way too much porn to be having the sex talk with you.”

“I wish we were having the sex talk,” Nie Mingjue grumbled. “I could give you a book, tell you to ask me any questions you like, and call it a day. Sex isn’t even an embarrassing subject.”

Wei Wuxian’s shoulders loosened. “Good point. Okay. So what talk are we having?”

“The secrets of the Nie sect cultivation method talk,” Nie Mingjue said, a little dryly. “Or, as my father called it, ‘when a boy and his saber start feeling strange things about each other’.”

Wei Wuxian’s face suggested that he was, once again, suffering horribly and unjustly from the Nie clan sense of humor. Which he somehow shared, so Nie Mingjue didn’t know what he was complaining about.

“I’m going to ignore that,” Wei Wuxian eventually decided, “in favor of focusing on the key parts of that sentence, namely ‘secrets’. What secrets?”

“Our cultivation path starts in a manner that’s very similar to orthodox swordsmanship paths,” Nie Mingjue explained. “And we are open to guest cultivators and outer disciples continuing to practice that sort of path, but the main part of the Nie sect, especially the clan, practice something a little bit more…unorthodox.”

“Unorthodox,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding as if he were rolling the word around in his mouth to savor the taste. “What do you mean, unorthodox?”

Nie Mingjue decided to just cut to the chase. “We utilize resentful energy from shedding the blood of the evil creatures that we hunt to cultivate our sabers into saber spirits capable of fighting evil semi-independently.”

Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. “Wait, what? That’s why I keep imagining that I can hear Suibian? Or, well, not hear…”

“Saber spirits don’t really talk, but they certainly have feelings,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “Lots of them, sometimes.”

Baxia calmly radiated a fuck you too feeling at him, but in a fond sort of way.

“Mostly ‘I want to destroy evil’ feelings,” he added, because it was true.

Wei Wuxian still looked stunned, so Nie Mingjue figured it was time to continue explaining.

“In orthodox swordsmanship cultivation, only the most powerful cultivators have swords that obey only their master – but because we cultivate our sabers’ spirits, all of them only obey a single master. Because they’ve been cultivated through the shedding of blood, they’re full of resentful energy themselves; they become far more powerful, but also more difficult to control.”

“Qi deviation,” Wei Wuxian said, jumping ahead at least ten steps in the talk. “Because of the proximity to resentful energy?”

“Not proximity. We cultivate our sabers through our own cultivation – processing the resentful energy and purifying it so that our sabers stay true to our principles. As the saber’s cultivation grows, it becomes more difficult to process it without becoming unbalanced, and eventually, absent a breakthrough, it will result in a qi deviation. It’s the trade established by the founder of our sect: we gain the ability to defeat evil now, but we pay the price later.”

Wei Wuxian obviously didn’t like that, and Nie Mingjue didn’t want to jump straight into the ‘so eventually all men die and some sooner than others’ section of the talk anyway, so he pulled it back.

“You’ve reached the point in your cultivation where you’ve started to sense Suibian’s rage,” Nie Mingjue explained. “It will affect you, making your temper shorter and you more impulsive; you’ll need to keep a careful check on it…as much as is reasonable, anyway. I’m not exactly one to talk about keeping your temper.”

He tried. Very hard, even, and he mostly even succeeded in mastering his temper into more appropriate channels – look, he hadn’t once tried to stab any other sect leader over the table in a Discussion Conference, and he was sitting across from Jin Guangshan, a walking pustule with wandering hands and no morals; Jiang Fengmian, too lukewarm to do anything except apparently whine about how Wei Wuxian preferred to stay in the Nie sect; and Wen Ruohan, his father’s murderer, a narcissist with delusions that he deserved to be emperor of the world, and all around creep.

A few instances of having to excuse himself to go break a table or stab a wall was totally reasonable.

“You’ll go a lot more night-hunts from this point onwards, which will help you shed more blood and strengthen your saber further,” he continued. “But you have to remember at all times that your saber will reflect you; that means it’s your duty to cultivate it properly, to teach it to hate evil and value righteousness. Principles are just as important – no, more important – than increasing power.”

“I didn’t even know resentful energy could be used like that,” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “Isn’t it something we have to fight against? Or is it just – it’s energy. We use spiritual energy for the most part, but we use resentful energy for the sabers…couldn’t we use resentful energy for ourselves, too?”

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes and flicked him in the forehead. “No. Using resentful energy without a channel is demonic cultivation.”

“So what?” Wei Wuxian said, his eyes bright. “If you can use it –”

“Are you made of steel?” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “Our sabers can absorb and redirect resentful energy without suffering from moral corrosion; even so, they eventually become fixated, obsessive, reckless and undiscriminating, which is why they need masters – someone who can direct them towards defeating evil when they lose the ability to tell the difference themselves. If you use resentful energy yourself, you yourself may become subject to those same issues, and where would you be?”

“Letting you and Nie Huaisang order me around,” Wei Wuxian said promptly. “Obviously.”

“Brat. Do you want to hear the details or not?”

“Of course I do! I’m just surprised that Nie Huaisang didn’t slip up and tell me about it earlier.”

“He doesn’t know,” Nie Mingjue said, and winced when Wei Wuxian stared at him. “It’s not necessary to tell him until he starts feeling Aituan the way I feel Baxia or you feel Suibian, and given the extremely slow rate of his cultivation, that might be a while out yet. He’s happy as he is; why burden him with secrets?”

“Because he deserves to know that you might die?”

“He knows that,” Nie Mingjue said, his mind suddenly pulled back to the terrible months before his father died. “Trust me. He knows.”

Wei Wuxian was quiet for a moment. “He might cultivate more if he knew that he could eventually have conversations with Aituan,” he suggested.

“He might cultivate less if he knew it was increasing his chances of an early death,” Nie Mingjue rebutted. “It’s the cultivation path of his ancestors; he can’t abandon it, but he can waffle and drag his feet. And if he doesn’t form a golden core properly, if he doesn’t learn to defend himself, he’ll die sooner than any qi deviation will kill me and that’s – that can’t happen. You understand that, right?”

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian said. “Don’t worry, da-ge. I’ll take care of Huaisang.”

Nie Mingjue put his hand on the back of Wei Wuxian’s nape and shook him. “I don’t want to send you off before I go either, brat; don’t get so wrapped up in protecting Huaisang that you forget that. So be careful.”

“I will,” Wei Wuxian said. “I promise.”

“So, do you think it’s time to give Wei Wuxian the talk?” Nie Huaisang asked Jiang Cheng as they dangled their feet in the river.

“What?” Jiang Cheng said, turning to look at him. “Are you joking? You have so much porn –”

“Not the sex talk,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Sex isn’t a talk; learning about sex is a book explaining the mechanics, a lifetime of listening to soldiers, and a very enjoyable process, to hear the stories. And to read them, of course.”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng said, flushing red. Nie Huaisang assumed his version of learning about sex had been a little different. “If you didn’t mean that, then what did you mean?”

“Porn can teach you about mechanics, as long as you take it with a solid pound of skepticism about how flexible the human body is and remember where the holes are,” Nie Huaisang said wisely, even as Jiang Cheng put his head in his hands and groaned. “But it doesn’t teach you about feelings.”

“Feelings.”

“Yes, feelings. I-like-you feelings. Like the stupid expression that Jin Zixuan get every time he sees Jiang Yanli practicing saber, or when he hears about those rumors that Sect Leader Nie would snatch her up as his bride in a second if he ever broke the engagement…”

“Why are we talking about feelings?” Jiang Cheng said, not raising his head.

“Because Wei Wuxian is an idiot.”

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about,” Jiang Cheng said, notably not disagreeing with the assessment. “And other than getting himself thrown out of Teacher Lan’s class because of his stupid theorizing about demonic cultivation, he’s usually pretty smart.”

“I’m well aware. He’s my shixiong,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “And a genius. Doesn’t mean he’s not an idiot.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “What type of feelings talk? The one about not marrying someone who doesn’t love you because you’ll be miserable your entire life one?”

“No, and I’m not touching that with a ten-foot spear, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you,” Nie Huaisang said. “I meant the one about liking people, and how to recognize it when that’s what you’re feeling.”

“Wait,” Jiang Cheng said. “Are you saying that Wei Wuxian likes someone?”

Nie Huaisang closed his eyes. “Oh,” he said, in tones of pained revelation. “That’s my problem. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Hey!”

“I’m going to write to da-ge and tell him he needs to find more smart people to join the sect. Otherwise there’ll be no help for it; my brain is going to end up deteriorating into nothing but mush –”

“Hey!” Jiang Cheng slapped him upside the head, which Nie Huaisang supposed he deserved. “Now stop being a jerk and tell me who Wei Wuxian likes. I didn’t even know there were any girls around for him to like.”

“For the first time in my life, I want my saber,” Nie Huaisang said.

“…what?”

“It’s supposed to give you strength. To support you as you suffer through hardships untold –”

Jiang Cheng pushed him into the river.

Nie Huaisang surfaced a moment later, dripping wet. “Okay, okay,” he said, grinning; it was a hot day and he had been asking for it. “I’ll stop. The reason you’re confused is because the person Wei Wuxian likes isn’t a girl.”

Jiang Cheng looked blank.

Nie Huaisang mimed scissors and pretended to snip at his now soaked sleeve.

“Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng said doubtfully. “But he flirts with girls all the time. Like when we went to Caiyi Town –”

“To be fair, that threw me for a while too,” Nie Huaisang said. “But no one ever said you couldn’t like girls and boys. After all, they’re both really pretty!”

“I guess,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Well, you don’t count. You like boys and girls equally, too.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do,” Nie Huaisang said patiently. “Zero interest in either is still equal.”

Jiang Cheng scowled in the way that suggested that Nie Huaisang was right, but shouldn’t say it.

“Look at it this way: if you never end up liking anybody, you can be friends with your future wife and she’d never need to be worried about you liking anyone else.”

“…that’s true,” Jiang Cheng conceded, looking intrigued by the idea. “Anyway, enough about me. We were talking about Wei Wuxian. Who does he like?”

“Lan Wangji.”

“I know that,” Jiang Cheng said with a scoff, and Nie Huaisang had a momentary hope that maybe he’d been the slow one for once when Jiang Cheng ruined it all by adding, “He’s his best friend, too; we all agreed on that. I was talking about who he liked.”

Nie Huaisang covered his face for a moment and sighed.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s start this from the top: how would you like the opportunity to be Wei Wuxian’s only best friend?”

“…what do you mean? How could that happen?”

“I’m Wei Wuxian’s shidi, my da-ge is his da-ge, and you’re his best friend – and Lan Wangji can be his boyfriend.”

“Oh, I see, that – wait. Wei Wuxian likes Lan Wangji?!”

“And he has no idea,” Nie Huaisang said. “And that’s why we need to give him the talk.”

Jiang Cheng seemed to be struggling with the idea, but in the end he said, “And I get to be his only best friend afterwards, right?” so somehow Nie Huaisang thought it was all going to be fine.

“I need to have a talk with my saber,” Wei Wuxian said, batting his eyelashes at the door guards. “You don’t mind, do you?”

Of course they minded. The Wen sect hadn’t taken away their weapons for their own good – it was a move designed to humiliate them, to weaken them, to show them their place.

But under the circumstances…

“Let him in,” Wen Zhuliu said, his arms crossed over his chest and his face as unmoving as stone. “Once the issue is resolved, he returns to the rest of the group and the incident is never spoken of again.”

The incident being the mysterious snapping of several Wen sect swords during the night when no one was around, which went on for a few days before someone stuck around and realized it was the angry spiritual energy pouring out of Suibian that was causing the issues.

Weird, but, well, everyone knew Nie sabers were weird. The best weapon to use against resentful energy by far, of course, and yao spirits in particular, but still – weird.

Wei Wuxian went into the armory, his heart hurting at all those brilliant shining swords sitting around as if they were merely spares for the Wen sect instead of treasures for their respective masters; there was Sandu over there, and Bichen, and even Suihua. Only lucky Aituan wasn’t here by virtue of Nie Huaisang having believably ‘forgotten’ it back at home; that had been good – Nie Mingjue had nearly had a fit at the idea of Wei Wuxian taking Suibian anywhere near Wen Ruohan and it would’ve been worse if there’d been Aituan to worry about, too.

They’d had to talk him down for a long while to get him to agree. To convince him that the Wens were not yet so daring that they’d commit murder at their indoctrination camp, that they’d be safe enough even if uncomfortable, that the time could be better spent in finalizing the preparations for the war that they all knew was coming.

Having to hand over Suibian at the beginning, though – it’d been hard.

“Hey, baby,” Wei Wuxian said, reaching out to run his fingers down her blade.

Saber spirits didn’t speak the way people spoke, more an amalgamation of raw feeling and sub-human levels of thought, but he liked to think he could hear Suibian saying where have you been you jerk let’s get out of here I want to stab something already.

“No stabbing,” Wei Wuxian said. “And sadly, no getting out of here; we’re stuck. I just got let in here long enough to try to talk to you…since when do you break swords?”

Baxia said.

Suibian didn’t have a word for Baxia, only a feeling like lightning turned solid, a blood-drenched pillar made of stone that could hold up the weight of the world, accompanied by an incredible amount of respect that Suibian certainly never felt about any human up to and including Wei Wuxian – who Suibian seemed to treat more as a little brother than anything else.

A moderately stupid little brother, even.

“Nice try,” Wei Wuxian said patiently. “Baxia isn’t here, so she couldn’t have possibly told you to go break Wen swords.”

Baxia said they broke one of ours.

Wei Wuxian stared. “You can’t possibly mean…old Sect Leader Nie’s? You weren’t even forged then.”

Baxia was. Baxia remembers. Baxia hates them.

“Hey, I hate them, too. Remember me? Your master?”

If it makes you happy.

“Wow, really? Jackass.”

Jerk.

“Pointy object.”

Oblong meat.

Wei Wuxian snickered. “Okay, anyway, you need to stop.”

They are the tools of evil men. If they are not destroyed, they will do evil in the future.

That was Suibian in a nutshell: carefree and arrogant, with a bone-deep sense of righteousness regardless of anything.

They said sabers reflected their masters – Wei Wuxian could only hope that it was true.

He ran his fingers down the flat of the blade again, as much to comfort himself as to calm Suibian.

“I know. But we don’t have a choice right now, okay? I know you’re not very good with thinking about the future, about consequences – I know I’m not very good at it, which means you never had anyone to teach it to you – but right now we need to behave or else bad things will happen to people we love. I told them the breaking of the swords was because of a talisman I carved into you that I forgot to deactivate, so they don’t know about you, but if you keep it up, they might figure it out…”

He sighed. “Don’t make me make it an order.”

Suibian was not happy with him right now, but Wei Wuxian could feel the reluctant agreement.

“Just wait,” Wei Wuxian said. “Soon enough you’ll have all the evil you could possibly want to fight, and more besides.”

Soon, there would be war.

#mdzs #nie mingjue #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #jiang cheng #suibian #my fic #my fics

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years ago

Text

Get Together

This fic was also inspired by this prompt from @mingcheng-prompts

Jiang Cheng stares at the letter in his hands.

“You can’t be serious,” he says, but when he raises his eyes at Nie Mingjue he seems deadly serious.

“Of course I am,” Nie Mingjue replies and pushes a scroll towards him. “My courtship gift.”

Jiang Cheng blinks but doesn’t move.

He knows he can’t say yes—could never, not with everything that happened—but he wants to.

Jiang Cheng learned to appreciate Nie Mingjue over the course of the last few gruesome weeks, learned to rely on him and trust him to have his back in battle—and yes, maybe even fell in love with him—so of course he wants to say yes.

But he can’t.

“I have nothing,” he tells Nie Mingjue and doesn’t make a move for the scroll. “My Sect burned. My parents died. My people are scattered.”

He’s not even sure he still has Wei Wuxian.

“There is nothing I can give you.”

“Good thing then, that I’m here for you and not your Sect or for what you can give me,” Nie Mingjue easily replies and doesn’t seem put off in the least.

“No,” Jiang Cheng tells him, though the word barely makes it out of his mouth.

Nie Mingjue observes him in silence for a few minutes, before he sags with a sigh.

“I respect your wish,” he says but he still pushes the scroll closer to Jiang Cheng. “You should still take this. Consider it a gift from one Sect Leader to another, if you must.”

“I shouldn’t take this,” Jiang Cheng replies as he gets up.

If he accepts this, and finds something thoughtful, something useful, something he would like, then his resolve will crumble.

And he can’t afford that. They are still at war. His Sect is still barely more than ground into dust.

“Nie-zongzhu,” he bows low, before he walks out of the tent, away from Nie Mingjue, without looking back.

Jiang Cheng wonders not for the first time when fate will stop taking things away from him.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng has to admit that he thought things would change between him and Nie Mingjue with the rejected courtship, but they don’t.

Nie Mingjue treats him the same as before, except that now Jiang Cheng flushes whenever Nie Mingjue comes close or smiles at him or is simply nice to him.

Jiang Cheng is flushing a lot, even though the war is still raging.

He really wishes he could have said yes to Nie Mingjue.

~*~*~

Fate does not stop taking things from Jiang Cheng. First his brother-in-law, then his sister and to top it off his brother as well.

The only thing left is Jin Ling.

And—inexplicably—Nie Mingjue.

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asks, a shade of desperation to his voice, because Jin Ling won’t stop crying and Jiang Cheng is inevitably going to fuck him up, just like he fucks up everything else.

“I’m here with an offer of courtship,” Nie Mingjue says and puts another letter and the same scroll on the table.

Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his mind.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he hisses, allowing the anger to take over instead of giving in to the want and hurt.

“Nothing. I simply have made up my mind about what I want. And what I want is you.”

He sounds completely serious as he says it, too, and Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his sanity on the battlefield.

“Look around you, Nie-zongzhu,” he snaps out, aware that Jin Ling flinches at his tone and Nie Mingjue at the title.

Jiang Cheng tries to calm Jin Ling down and tries to ignore Nie Mingjue and his reaction as best as he can.

If he calls him anything but Nie-zongzhu then he’ll crumble and give in. And he can’t do that.

“I have nothing left in my life,” Jiang Cheng belatedly finishes and Nie Mingjue frowns.

“That’s not true. You have your nephew and your Sect. That is not nothing. And you have me, too, if you accept the courtship or not.”

“Why are you so—” Jiang Cheng wants to say ‘good’ but the word chokes him up.

Nie Mingjue seems to understand it anyway.

“Because you deserve it.”

“I don’t,” Jiang Cheng says over Jin Ling’s head, the boy still crying and Jiang Cheng woefully unprepared to deal with him.

“I think you do,” Nie Mingjue softly says and then stands up to correct Jiang Cheng’s grasp on Jin Ling.

It doesn’t immediately calm him down, but Jiang Cheng feels more secure holding Jin Ling like that and the small kindness is enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“I can’t,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and hides his face in Jin Ling’s baby hair. “I can’t.”

There’s a brief silence where Jiang Cheng thinks that Nie Mingjue will simply storm out on him, but then he feels lips pressed against the crown of his head.

“I’ll be here when you can,” Nie Mingjue promises him right before he leaves.

Jiang Cheng can’t bear to watch him go, and it’s only much, much later that he realizes that while Nie Mingjue took the letter with the official courtship, he left the scroll behind.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t touch it.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is shaking as he steps off Sandu and if he’s not careful he’s going to crush the scroll in his hand.

Maybe it would be better anyway.

“Where is Nie Mingjue?” he demands to know from the first disciple that has the guts to step close and to their credit, he is immediately led to a study room.

“What the fuck is this?” he hisses as he throws the scroll at Nie Mingjue. “What the hell are you up to?”

It seems like he caught Nie Mingjue off guard because the scroll hits him square in the chest but when he lowers his gaze at it, understanding crosses his face.

“It’s a gift,” Nie Mingjue slowly says and picks the scroll out of his robes to put it on the table.

“A gift,” Jiang Cheng hisses. “Preparing me for the fact that you’re planning to invade us?”

It’s—just the thought makes Jiang Cheng sick, because he barely had time to build Lotus Pier back up again. He only managed the most necessary buildings so far.

Not to mention the fact that he trusted Nie Mingjue, that he thought he was in love with him.

“It’s nothing like that,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng has to give it to him, he stays remarkably calm.

“Then explain what it is!” Jiang Cheng demands and Nie Mingjue sighs.

“I mean, I guess it was intended that way, once, when we first started? But it’s not anymore. We keep track of the layout of all the Sects. I know you all thought us stupid but Qinghe Nie always expected a war ever since Wen Ruohan first came into power centuries ago. We made it a habit to sketch out every Sect’s layout so that in the case of a war we could help them rebuild. None of you are as sturdy as we are.”

It’s a sensible explanation and it makes sense, Jiang Cheng guesses, but the hurt about the perceived threat from Nie Mingjue of all people still sits deep.

“Why give it to me?”

Nie Mingjue stares at him as if he’s stupid, and Jiang Cheng thinks that’s probably fair.

“It was supposed to be a courtship gift; my gift to help you rebuild Lotus Pier like it used to be if you wished it so. You rejected me, twice, and I thought it cruel to keep this from you despite that.”

Jiang Cheng can’t keep Nie Mingjue’s eyes any longer and so he stares down at the scroll again.

He had looked at it, of course, and he had studied it very carefully; there were paths and buildings on that plan that even he didn’t remember.

“Show me the other ones,” Jiang Cheng says, because he needs the proof that this was not simply to attack him again, now that Yunmeng Jiang is weakened beyond belief.

Nie Mingjue simply nods and leads Jiang Cheng to a huge library. It seems like Nie Mingjue knows his way around here very well, because there’s no hesitation as he makes his way over to a shelf and gets three more scrolls out.

“We even have one of the Wen Sect, in case someone more sensible ever took over once Wen Ruohan inevitably destroyed everything,” he says as he hands the scrolls to Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng opens all three of them, just to be sure, but they are what Nie Mingjue promised.

“You wanted to help us rebuild,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“Qinghe Nie always wanted to help in the case of war,” he agrees and before Jiang Cheng can snap at him that he is deliberately misunderstanding him, he goes on. “But yes. I specifically wanted to help you rebuild.”

“Why?”

“It was supposed to be a courtship gift, remember?” Nie Mingjue asks with a sad smile and takes the scrolls back from Jiang Cheng.

“But why?” Jiang Cheng asks again, because that’s the part he doesn’t get.

Everyone left him alone; his family is dead, Lanling Jin is just waiting for him to die or move a toe out of line, Gusu Lan is too busy rebuilding themselves and for all that Nie Mingjue tried to court him—twice—even Qinghe Nie didn’t so much as offer help.

Well, Jiang Cheng guesses he has to rethink that part, because clearly Nie Mingjue did want to help.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re fierce and beautiful and strong. You’re a natural leader, you’re a good Sect Leader, a good uncle. Because I admire you and I’m in love with you,” Nie Mingjue easily says as if it means nothing to him to say all of that out loud, about Jiang Cheng of all people.

It means the world to Jiang Cheng.

“Ask me again,” he whispers, begs almost, because he’s tired of keeping himself from this.

He’s tired of rebuilding and of raising Jin Ling and having to do it all alone and if Nie Mingjue wants this, still, after Jiang Cheng was already stupid twice, then he’ll take it.

He will allow himself at least this happiness.

“Jiang Wanyin, will you let me court you?” Nie Mingjue asks without hesitation and just the thought that Nie Mingjue waited even though Jiang Cheng rejected him twice, that he still wants him, brings tears to Jiang Cheng’s eyes.

“Yes, please,” he breathes out and Nie Mingjue doesn’t waste any time before he pulls him into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” he mutters into Jiang Cheng’s hair as if he’s the blessed one here, when really, Jiang Cheng can’t believe that he should get this lucky.

“I’m sorry I was stupid,” Jiang Cheng says into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder.

“You weren’t. There was a lot going on, and I understand,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng slings his arms around his middle.

“I like you, too,” Jiang Cheng belatedly says, and even though he’s not yet ready to tell Nie Mingjue that he’s in love with him, too, it doesn’t seem to matter to Nie Mingjue.

“That’s good to hear,” Nie Mingjue gives back, and pushes Jiang Cheng away from him, just far enough to duck down and press a light kiss to his lips.

“We’re going to take this slow, okay? Rebuilding first.”

Jiang Cheng has difficulties swallowing around the lump in his throat, so he simply nods, grateful that Nie Mingjue seems to understand what he so desperately needs.

His Sect back to a point where he doesn’t have to fear for their simple survival every night, and a reassuring, steady presence at his side.

“Thank you,” he says again with feeling and Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

“Always,” he promises.

And for once in Jiang Cheng’s life, someone keeps that promise.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #mingcheng #mdzsbingo #the untamed #mdzs #getting together #hurt/comfort #courting #misunderstanding #first kiss

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trilliastra · 4 years ago

Text

[much fluff with a dash of angst, but mostly jin ling coping with being a sect leader and his uncles being there for him. jin ling & jiang cheng & wei wuxian.]

Jin Ling has been a Sect Leader for exactly four months and eighteen days when the letter arrives.

Sect Leader Yao wishes to invite you and…

Jin Ling rolls his eyes. It’s always an invitation for dinner or a ‘sumptuous trip to try our most beloved meals’ and it always ends with Jin Ling visiting their crops and listening to hours upon hours of a speech about the advantages of having Sect Leader Yao as ally and biggest business partner.

Jin Ling always leaves with a headache and the certainty that not even the finest crops in the world are worth enduring that old hag’s voice for days.

He’s wondering if he could get away with ‘accidentally’ dropping the letter in the fire when the word ‘marriage’ catches his attention.

Dread spreads through his body. His uncle has warned him about this, lectured Jin Ling about taking his time, being careful around pretty ladies, but he thought he had more time! He’s still sixteen, why would he want to marry anyone right now?

He keeps reading, curiosity getting the best of him, and then he realizes, Sect Leader Yao is proposing an alliance through marriage, but not with Jin Ling.

With his uncle.

Jin Ling does not mention the letter to his uncle. He does not think that would end well for him or Sect Leader Yao, and though Jin Ling would not mind if the old man was accidentally pushed into a pit so deep he could never escape – it would save him so much time and tears of frustration – he does not want his uncle to start a war. One murderous uncle is enough, thank you.

So Jin Ling does the next best thing and throws the letter into the fire, pretends it never happened and leaves Sect Leader Yao to deal with it alone.

That’s not the end of it, though. Of course not. Jin Ling could not be that lucky.

The second letter comes the next week, and by the time the twelfth letter arrives, Jin Ling is just about ready to start a war himself, so when Wei Wuxian shows up unannounced, he cannot be blamed for throwing a whole jar of wine on his head.

Wei Wuxian’s entire bright demeanour is particularly annoying when Jin Ling has been experiencing a headache for the past – what, month?

“You look stressed.” Wei Wuxian points out, wiping the wine off his face with the sleeve of his robe (‘such a waste’, he had said, but instead of leaving as Jin Ling had hoped, he simply collapsed on a chair and grinned, ugh).

“The letter just won’t stop!” He grits out, angry, throwing the closest letter – from Ouyang Zizhen’s father of all people, apparently, he has two daughters that would be just ‘perfect’ for Jin Ling’s uncle – towards Wei Wuxian.

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian laughs hysterically for a good minute while Jin Ling stares, unamused, “I did not think Jiang Cheng would be this disputed.”

Jin Ling tries not to take offense on that, but the words come out of his mouth before he can hold them back, years of having to defend his uncle from other disciples getting the best of him. “He would be a great husband!” Jin Ling argues. “If he wants to!”

Wei Wuxian raises his hands, placating, but he still has that knowing smirk on his face. “I know.” He says, softer this time. “He always liked to pretend to be cold and angry, but we knew-” Jin Ling feels a shiver run down his spine at the mention of his mother so casually. His uncle talked about her, told him stories about his parents, but he never looked at ease while doing it, his eyes always trying to hide the pain, “Jiang Cheng is especially warm inside, he takes criticism to heart and he hurts just as easily, just as deeply. Maybe even more than the rest of us.” Wei Wuxian gets a distracted look on his face, lost in thoughts and memories that Jin Ling knows he will never understand, does not know if he even wants to.

The pain and the heartbreak that molded his uncle while he was growing up, Jin Ling has long understood that it came from years of self-doubt and self-loathing.

‘I am proud of you, it does not matter what happens, who you are, what you do, I am proud of you’, Jin Ling heard those words more than once as he grew up, his uncle wiping his tears of frustration and anger when he failed at hitting the targets with his arrows, lost a fight with one of the older disciples. He did not think much of it at the time, but after the temple, after hearing the pain in his uncle’s voice while arguing with Wei Wuxian, the pain of being left alone – Jin Ling understood that those were words his uncle wishes someone had told him.

“I know.” Jin Ling says, softly, before looking down at the pile of letters still on his desk. He lets out another groan of frustration. “But why me?” He cries out while Wei Wuxian starts giggling again. “They should send these to him!”

“Oh, my dear A-Ling.” Wei Wuxian says, taking deep breaths to control his laughter. “They want your help.”

“No, no.” Jin Ling groans, pacing around the room. Wei Wuxian watches him patiently, drinking from a new jar of wine one of Jin Ling’s servants brought. “I will not be Jiujiu’s matchmaker! I have other things to do! Did you know there are rumours of a ghost terrorizing a village? At least twenty families have arrived to Lanling yesterday, I do not have time to help Sect Leader Yao se – seduce Jiujiu!”

Wei Wuxian – proving to be just as useless as Jin Ling had thought – snorts and reaches out for another jar of wine. “You are pathetic.” Jin Ling points out, rolling his eyes when Wei Wuxian merely shrugs.

“You are the Sect Leader.”

“I know!” Jin Ling cries out, throwing his arms up in frustration. To his horror, he feels himself starting to tear up.

He hates crying, even more in front of others. He knows he does it a lot, he’s always been a crier, but he is, as Wei Wuxian pointed out, a Sect Leader now. He cannot just burst into tears every time he feels tired or sad or—overwhelmed.

“Jin Ling—” Wei Wuxian starts, softly, but a knock on the door stops him.

“Sect Leader,” his secretary calls, sounding panicked, and though Jin Ling wants to tell him to leave, he takes a deep breath and orders him in, “you have a visitor.” He announces.

“Who-” Jin Ling tries to ask, but the door flies open before he can finish and soon enough his uncle is stalking into his office.

If it weren’t for the secretary still watching them, Jin Ling would have dropped everything and ran into his uncle’s arms, crying as if he were five years old again.

“You do not have time to write,” his uncle accuses as soon as the door closes behind Jin Ling’s secretary, “but you have time to chat with him.” The tone is not as cold as it used to be and Wei Wuxian offers him a wave and a teasing grin instead of flinching like he also used to do.

“I did not invite him,” Jin Ling turns around, scrambling to wipe his tears. It has been a rough couple of days, emotion got the best of him, “he just showed up and now he refuses to leave.”

“Not fair!” Wei Wuxian cries out, pretends to be wiping a tear while his eyes shine with mischief. Jin Ling’s uncle rolls his eyes, expression so soft Jin Ling feels himself tearing up again.

His uncle deserves so much more than an arranged marriage.

“A-Ling.” Jin Ling looks up, finds both his uncle and Wei Wuxian looking at him with concern. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shouts, starts rearranging the papers on his desk as to have something to do with his hands, something to distract him from all these emotions, the tiredness, the overwhelming happiness of having his family with him after all this time where he forced himself to be strong, to deal with everything alone, to—

“A-Ling.” Jin Ling feels a hand on his shoulder, strong and careful and loving.

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling sniffs, suddenly so exhausted he feels his legs giving out. He is quickly supported by his uncle and Wei Wuxian, “I do not want you to get married to Ouyang Zizhen’s sister.”

“What?” he asks, helping Jin Ling to the chair and kneeling in front of him. He runs a hand through Jin Ling’s hair, touches his cheek softly. “What are you talking about?”

“You should marry for love.” He whispers, weakly, and then – nothing.

When Jin Ling was a child, he used to have nightmares about losing two faceless people, a woman he would call mother and a man he would call father. He’d wake up, shaking, heart beating fast, and immediately run to his uncle’s room.

He would also have dreams where his uncle died, but those never seemed so scary because once Jin Ling woke up, he knew it would never happen. His uncle would never leave him.

That certainty never wavered, not once, even when Jin Ling was in Lanling, even when his uncle got hurt fighting Su She, his uncle would never leave him.

But as soon as Jin Guangyao died, as soon as Jin Ling was pronounced Sect Leader, as soon as his uncle left to Lotus Pier, Jin Ling realized it was time he let his uncle go.

The faceless woman in his dream is different this time. She’s holding one end of a rope while the other end is tied around Jin Ling’s neck and when he tries to run, she holds him back, the knot so tight Jin Ling feels himself suffocating, unable to scream, to call for help.

From afar he sees his uncle burning, fire surrounding him as he shouts, one hand stretched out in front of him, reaching out for Jin Ling while the woman drags him away from his uncle, farther and farther. And while his uncle burns, Jin Ling chokes.

He startles awake, gasping for air as his hands search for the rope around his neck, a rope that isn’t there anymore.

“A-Ling.” His uncle calls. When Jin Ling looks at his worried face, he collapses against his chest, relieved. “Breathe,” he whispers, pulling Jin Ling closer to him, one hand on the back of his neck, comforting, “I am here.”

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling sobs, holding his uncle’s robes tightly. He should not be acting like this anymore, he should not behave as a child, he is not – he is a Sect Leader now, he needs to be strong. Ashamed, he sobs harder, hides his face in his uncle’s chest, “I am sorry, I should not –”

“Stop.” His uncle orders. “I should be the one apologizing. You were not ready for –”

“You were a year older than me when you became a Sect Leader!” Jin Ling protests. All the things his uncle did when he was younger, the war, the people he lost.

“I was not ready either.” His uncles confesses. Jin Ling pulls back, surprised. “I had no other choice, A-Ling, but you – you have me and your friends and – Wei Wuxian, I suppose,” he adds, rolling his eyes, and Jin Ling, despite himself, smiles.

He notices Wei Wuxian by the door, arms crossed in front of himself, eyes shining with tears, Jin Ling imagines, of regret for years lost, bonds broken.

“I will try to visit more often.” Jin Ling’s uncle promises. “And if you do not write back,” he threatens, “I will drag you back to Lotus Pier and feed you to the water spirits.”

Jin Ling blinks. “I am a Sect Leader.”

“I don’t care. Learn when to ask for help, brat, and answer to your uncle’s letters.”

“My, my, A-Ling,” Wei Wuxian says for the first time, eyes still wet, smile brighter than before, “it seems your uncle was lonely.”

“Wei Wuxian.” Jin Ling’s uncle growls, reaching out for a pillow and throwing at Wei Wuxian’s beaming face. The other man ducks away easily, cackling.

This is how his uncle’s life must have been before. He was not ready to become a Sect Leader then, but most of all, he was not ready to lose his entire family.

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling takes his hand, “do you wish to get married?”

His uncle furrows his brows, confused. “This again?” He glances at Wei Wuxian, then back at Jin Ling. He sighs. “Maybe one day.” He says. “But that is not important right now.”

“It is important!” Jin Ling argues. “I want you to be happy!”

“Marrying one of the Ouyang girls won’t make him happy.” Wei Wuxian says, pulling a chair to sit on the other side of Jin Ling’s bed.

“You are married to Hanguang-jun!” Jin Ling points out.

“Because I love him.” He answers and Jin Ling is relieved he doesn’t go on a rant about Hanguang-jun’s eyes or something, it has happened before. It was disgusting. “Jiang Cheng should marry someone for love.”

They both turn to look at his uncle and Jin Ling’s eyes widen when he sees him blush. Does that mean–

“Enough with this.” Jin Ling’s uncle says, forcing him to lie back, fluffing the pillows around him. “I will deal with the letters.”

Jin Ling sighs, relived, as his eyes start to drop shut. “Do not start a war.” Both his uncles snort.

“I promise.” He whispers and Jin Ling falls asleep surrounded by his family.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng & jin ling #jiang cheng & jin ling & wei wuxian #mdzs #my fic #did you catch the hint jiang cheng might already have someone he loves?#bc that might become a fic soon #wink wink

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