#jesus fucking christ can you people stop acting like your favorite shows are more important to the writers than their lives

[cigarette-room]

please read what is actually written on the post and the additions to it thank you!

writer's strike is amazing actually go girl get that fucking marvel show UNMADE get that fucking gay pirate show CANCELLED get these chronically online fandom bitches' obsessions on HOLD until the corporations learn to pay you your mf money that you deserve

[moonctzeny]

love to hate me

request:  celebrity! jaehyun + enemies to lovers + “don’t you want to know how i feel?”

pairing: friends to enemies to lovers! jaehyun x female reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff... this fic has it all folks

word count:  7.514k

warnings: toxic behaviour, public sex, light restraining, jaehyun pulls a ‘white boy punching the wall’ at some point 

summary: “You and Jaehyun meet as SM trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you deicde to leave the company and pursue a solo career. When you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. Your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other”

a/n: this is the longest it has ever taken me to finish a fic.. I have a love-hate relationship with this (no pun intended XD). I hope whoever requested this likes it!

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Of-fucking-course you had to bump into him out of all people at the vending machine. All you wanted was a drink to refresh you before you got up on stage, and now you have to deal with Mr. Too Good For This World and his relentless teasing. His eyes, lit up by an amusement that was also evident in his smirk, stayed glued on your body, raking up and down at it for a second too long. Not that you didn’t like it.

“Stare much?”, you bark at him in hopes of snapping him out of his trance, and push through him to punch in the code of your favorite drink. But alas, he always had a comeback ready on the edge of his lips.

“You look ridiculous”, he states and you have to admit that your outfit, though fitting for the Halloween special of today’s music show, was way different than anything else he had ever seen you in. Reincarnated as Dorothy Gale for the night, your stylists had chosen a short, light blue checkered dress, with red stilettos that gave a sexy twist to the character’s ruby slippers. Hair neatly braided in two pigtails, decorated by ribbons and topped off by glittery pink makeup. The image of innocence. Jaehyun had to laugh.

“Says the man dressed up as Woody”

It was unfair, you admitted, how good he looked in that stupid outfit. His hair was gelled back, a few strands framing his handsome face strategically. The yellow shirt fitted him like a glove, its bright colour lighting him up as well. And those jeans, tight in all the right places, just melted over the muscles of his thighs. The ones that you’ve come undone on one too many times.

“So”, he lilts, giving you a once over before lowering both the volume and pitch of his voice, “want a ride?”

You scoff, sparing him an incredulous look, “on what horse, cowboy?”

He doesn’t reply, only points with his eyes to his crotch that is undeniably sporting a visible tent, and you gasp when you see the outline of his dick twitching under your stare.

“Jesus Christ, Jaehyun”, you mutter with a disgusted look on your face before picking up the almost forgotten beverage that the vending machine had barfed out for you. The boy mentioned, however, was unfazed.

“They don’t call me Woody for nothing”

Almost choking at the drink that was supposed to calm you down, you catch his eyes rolling at you through your third cough. Well, that ruins one of your favourite childhood movies. “Don’t pretend to be a prude. Now are we going to fuck before you get on stage of not?”

You can clearly remember the first time you met Jung Jaehyun alone. You always spotted him somewhere in the SM buildings, joking around with his future bandmates, barely ever without company. As a fellow vocal trainee, he introduced himself to you as Yoonoh, filling up the awkward silence while your vocal teacher prepared the music sheets for the both of you to rehearse.

You were thankful the two of you always got paired up together. Jaehyun was charming, easy to be around, funny. He was a model SM trainee with the otherworldly looks he possessed, almost impossible for anyone’s eyes not to follow him when he entered a room. Radiant porcelain skin, soft brown locks, and a dimpled smile that made your heart melt in seconds.

You can also clearly remember the first time you had the privilege of hearing him sing. Jaehyun had a beautiful baritone voice, one that contradicted his flower boy image but matched his manly personality perfectly. The four walls of the small practice room resonated with his sound, that was stable and smooth like honey. The lessons were challenging but Jaehyun made them bearable through spending time with him. Maybe it was your shared struggles, or how you were always tired and vulnerable when you saw him. Maybe it was those damned dimples, but your heart always beat faster when you were around him.

“Sometimes I get discouraged”, he confides in you in that same room, hours later, early into the morning now. The vocal lesson stretched on longer than expected, leaving you two sitting on the floor, sharing a cup of lemon-honey tea to soothe your vocal chords. You let your head rest to the leather couch behind you as you stare into his handsome features one by one. What time was it? Shouldn’t you be back at your dorms by now? It didn’t matter, this was one of those moments when time seems to stop and life seems unreal. When the only thing that you care about is the person standing next to you, and whatever it is they have to tell you.

 “I fear that I will never get to debut. There’s handsome guys all over the company. I just don’t know if my skills are enough.”  

You thought he was crazy for thinking that way, wanted to scream at him that he’s just perfect and more than enough for the company, or for anything in this world for that matter. But Jaehyun was reserved, the type to always mask his true feelings behind a smile and you were more than glad that he finally opened up to you, that he saw you as someone trustworthy. You didn’t want to dismiss his feelings, so you just pet his hair while you listened to his concerns.

 As you mindlessly gaze at the rainy weather outside, a couple of droplets following their own path down the froggy window remind you that time does run by. Even if every day seemed the same, following the same routine, going to the same classes over and over again.

Jaehyun had this sad look that contorted his pretty face and you hated it, reaching up to massage away the wrinkles between his eyebrows. You don’t know which godly creature made the hourglass of time freeze this moment, nor did you know why Jaehyun leaned forward to capture your lips into a kiss. Maybe it was his way of saying thank you for keeping your ears and heart open for him, for listening to him when he needed it most.

It felt so lovely while it lasted, two young people leaning on each other during an uncertainty that anchored them far away from their emotional shoreline. But life as a trainee isn’t a fairytale and falling in love can have serious ramifications. So you promise to each other that this will be a one time thing, and then you never speak of this night ever again.

Unsurprisingly enough, Jaehyun got to successfully debut, yet you didn’t have the same luck. The company had plans of focusing on their new boy group, thus postponing your debut for an uncertain amount of time. It was hard for you to decide to switch labels, to throw away the years of hope and dedication you had pinned on this company but the faith you placed on yourself was stronger.

It’s years later when you finally get to promote as a solo artist in a different company, and you are happy to say that the decision you made all those years ago was the right one. The exposure you got wasn’t the same as being in a Big 3 company, however leaving SM entertainment has its pros. Flexible schedule, less scrutiny, great creative freedom over your work. 

This wasn’t the first time you have come across your old trainee buddy. Jaehyun had multiple comebacks in a year, so it was only natural that his group’s and your promotions would sometimes overlap. You were only a rookie, and NCT turned out to become pretty popular, so of course the wins were always tied to their names.

The first time you walked past him in the hallways, dark makeup and professional styling making you both almost unrecognizable, you expected a wave, small talk, maybe some reminiscing of the old times. Instead, you got a cold stare or at best, an arrogant smirk coupled with a “Do better next time”. It was shocking to you how much Yoonoh, the boy with the shy smile and awkward social skills, would turn into such a stranger.

How you always ended up sneaking out with him to have a quickie in one of the ready rooms, was beyond you. He rushed you inside before checking both sides of the hallway, cautious to hide from any curious eyes. The coast was clear and Jaehyun doesn’t like to waste time, so he pins you against the door he just closed behind him, face dipped in your neck. You can feel his fingers dancing on the skin of your thighs, eager to explore what is hidden under your frilly skirt, and their delicacy in contrast to his feverish kisses sends a shiver down your spine.

One pretty whine from your lips, then two, three and you can feel Jaehyun smile deviously against your neck. The softness is too enticing for him to resist, so he nips at it skillfully, trying to get a reaction out of you. He recognizes that you have plenty of talent as a singer, yet the symphonies you sing out for him in those little sessions seem to be his favorite.

“Jaehyun, cut it out. I’m going on stage in like, 20 minutes”

“Turn me on then”

Wasn’t he the one that basically flashed you in the middle of the cafeteria for just existing? Isn’t it his hard on that digs against your lower stomach? The demand made you mad, and you wanted nothing more than to entice him with a nice blowjob, only to take a big, strong bite off that cock of his. But see, you had a full face of makeup on and your career is way more important than a fuckboy, so you’ll have to get creative.

Flipping him around so that he’s the one trapped between you and the door, you start to suck on his collarbones , then nibble at the tender flesh. He seems distracted enough by it so that you open the button of his jeans and fully remove his belt from their loops with no objections. Palming him over his boxers to keep him entranced, you manage to bring his wrists together, wrapping the leather around them, then lastly fastening them in place.

His eyes widen in shock when he realizes that he’s too late, wiggling his hands in a futile attempt to free himself. Your laugh is sadistic, making the hairs on his arms stand on edge and you gloat in the effect you have on him. 

Giving your palm a good lick, you form a ring with your fingers, wrapping them around the base of his member. He hisses and drops his head back, thudding loudly against the wall. His cock enlarges and reddens as you move your hand up and down, changing the pressure according to his reactions. Jaehyun isn’t one to express himself freely but there is not much he can do to stop the low moans leaving his lips. Not when you rub circles over his tip with the soft skin of your palm.

He looks so fucking good, all squirmy and desperate and trying to hold himself from saying ‘please’. You almost want to keep going, squeeze him more until he whines and begs to cum, and admire the white beads dripping from his slit and covering your hand. Almost.

You halt your movements with a last strong stroke, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare back at him. Jaehyun tentatively opens one eye to see why you have stopped, only to come across that bratty smile that he loves as much as he hates.

“You should have dressed up as a siren. Seducing people before they realize you are a man eating bitch”

“If you want someone to jerk you off you can go ask one of your little fangirls. I want to get fucked.”

“Let me go then. And you’ll wish you never did”

You scoff at his cockiness, nonchalantly freeing him from his constraints, and the way he immediately has a hold of your jaw reminds you of a predator eyeing its prey. His eyes have a crazy look in them, moving frantically over every part of your body like he can’t decide what to grab onto first. He decides on your hips, bending you over a table full of snacks and makeup tools and flyers of today’s schedule.

“You think it’s funny to tease me like that?”, he asks you with a peremptory voice that signifies you’d better shut up.

You hear shuffling behind you and assume it’s him slipping on a condom, so you make yourself more comfortable on the wooden surface. A hard slap on your ass jolts you alert.

“I asked you a fucking question”, Jaehyun presses brusquely and flips your skirt fully over your ass, pulling your panties down until they’re bunched up right over your knees.

“It’s fun”, you moan out, breathless both from the pleasure and the stinging feeling on your right cheek, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Was the room occupied by one of the artists that have already been on stage? Or will they barge in at any moment to find you bent over and pussy dripping for Jaehyun to finally dive inside you? He chuckled at the sight of you, eyes feasting off your naked body, your ass up just the way he likes it. Not so innocent anymore, huh?

He doesn’t reply to you, aligning himself against your slit and bottoming out in one go instead. Involuntarily, you let out a small screech, the sudden stretch catching you off guard.

“You better stay quiet, siren. Or maybe you would like it if people found us like this? Saw how good you take my cock whenever I ask”

You wanted to bite back at him, but the only sound you could make was a guttural moan. It was embarrassingly loud, and you fall forward to bite your fist and force yourself to shut up. It was effective, yet Jaehyun had other plans for you, pulling your pigtails towards him in a strong grip that has you against his chest in seconds.

“Nuh, uh, uh, siren”, he hums in your ear, his panting making his voice sound huskier and smokier than ever, “How about trying to stay quiet by using your willpower alone? That way it’s more- how did you call it? Fun.” 

He slows down his pace momentarily, as if he’s giving you time to answer him. But the moment you open your mouth to talk back at him, he thrusts particularly hard inside you, forcing a whimper out of your lips.

“Fuck you, Jaehyun”

“As you wish”

Jaehyun was conceited and cocky and a dick, but he was also a good fuck. He kept at it with what seemed like all the energy in the world, fucking you against that table until you came all over him, and your legs gave out. It ended how it always did, with him moaning how fucking sexy you look and how much he hates you, and you swallowing your pride as you swallow his cum. You’d tell each other to fuck off and never bother the other again, until you meet up at the next comeback, to do this shit all over again.

And that’s how things would stay if it wasn’t for that goddamn phone call from your manager.

“...so we thought what better way to promote your new song by recording a duet with NCT’s Jaehyun?”

No, no, no this can’t be happening. No way. Anyone but him.

“Are you sure this is the only way we can promote me? Can’t I just go to variety programs like every other idol out there?”

“y/n, duets by different group members are one of the most efficient methods of promoting there is! And with NCT’s latest song topping the charts this will be a great opportunity for you. Taemin and Sunmi did it. Suzy and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Punch-“

“Alright, okay, I get it”

“Besides, since you used to be an SM trainee they specifically asked for you. The directors made some pretty big compliments on your work”

Isn’t it a little too late now? Not like they didn’t have the chance to debut you, right? That being said, there isn’t much to oppose to decline SM’s offer; your manager is right and you know it. Saying no to Lee Sooman and giving up a popularity push like that is basically career suicide. Nor could you let your manager know about your and Jaehyun’s little adventures, minutes before you have to go on stage.

“Just send me the schedule. I don’t have to record with him, right?”

“Oh no, they’ll record his part first and then they’ll send it to us. But there will be a music video of course”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

There was this little monster of worriedness that was screaming inside your head, refusing to shut up. This collaboration isn’t going to be easy, but you didn’t want to let Jaehyun’s pettiness get in the way of your career. Fumbling with your phone in your hands, you kept removing and reinserting its case compulsively, over and over again, until you mustered the courage to take matters into your own hands.You knew his number was buried somewhere in your contacts.

you [16:35]: hey it’s me, y/n

Jung Yoonoh [16:50]: y/n who??

you [16:55]: y/n y/l/n? the girl whose guts you were inside in last week? we have a song coming up 😒

Jung Yoonoh [16:57]: oh y/n right

Jung Yoonoh [16:58]: thought you’d have deleted my number

Well you sure have deleted mine, you murmur with your blood boiling, regretting reaching out to him in the first place. 

you [16:59]: i always hoard peoples contacts

you [17:00]: old habits die hard i guess

Jung Yoonoh [17:00]: like the habit of me being inside your guts?

You gasp out after reading his last message, hands awkwardly juggling your phone until you’ve forced yourself to calm down. After waiting for a while, until your face has reached its previous temperature, you feel focused again, and type out your original intentions for this conversation.

you [17:05]: this isn’t what i texted you about.

you [17:07]: we have this project coming up and while I know we aren’t exactly on the best terms, this comeback is very important for me

you [17:08]: and i don’t want to fuck it up

Jung Yoonoh [17:10]: kitty cat, relax. maybe this is a brand new word for you but i know what professionalism is

you [17:10]: don’t you ever and i mean ever call me that again

you [17:11]: glad to see we are on the same page

You didn’t expect a message back, nor did you get one. All you could do from now on, was pray that the promotions would go smoothly and Jaehyun wouldn’t do anything stupid that would jeopardize your collaboration.

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And the day you dreaded finally came. The first day of filming for the music video. 

You had already finished recording the song, a bittersweet balad about two lovers who lost their way, only for their paths to cross again. When you listened to the demo for the first time, it only took three notes from Jaehyun’s pre-recorded verse to spread goosebumps on your skin. His voice was deeper and even more developed than you remember. Long forgotten memories, shoved deep inside your brain so as not to leave a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, came flooding up again. But things have changed since then.

The sky was crying rain and lightning, fitting to the storm inside your head. Normally you'd be excited to film a music video, bubbling with energy and unable to contain a smile. Today, all you could do was let your teeth abuse the cuticles of your left thumb, until little drops of blood ruined the fresh manicure you got for the shoot. 

Following your manager inside the studio, you take a quick glance at all the props the creative directors have prepared. They were very intricate, filled with all different types of flowers everywhere. Some of the fake rooms looked like classrooms, two others were decorated like teenage bedrooms. It was a lot more than you have anticipated.

“The song will be part of a drama OST, that’s why the budget is higher than usual”, your manager tells you as if he was reading your mind. 

He leads you to the changing room, where you try on different outfits your stylist has chosen for you, while simultaneously being briefed on the concept of the music video. It’s kinda cheesy and cute, with you and Jaehyun posing as high-school students falling in love. Certain scenes of the drama, whose plot matches the music video’s, will intercept in between.

You’re seated on the makeup chair, sunk in the uneasiness caused by your co-star. Jaehyun had arrived a few minutes after you, his bare face more handsome than you’ve ever looked in your most glamorous state and you can’t help but stare at him. He is all polite smiles and bows to the staff, and even gives you a formal greeting. 

You’re not sure why you just can’t bring yourself to stop your legs from shaking as the makeup artist patiently tries to apply a rosy blush on your cheekbones. It’s like you’re scared that everyone will see right through the both of you, somehow enter your brain and find out that you’re replaying your last encounter with Jaehyun in the music show’s waiting room in your head. As you try to read through his expression, to see if he’s nearly as nervous as you are, you defeatedly can’t decode what’s going on inside his head. Not like you ever could.

You glance at both you and Jaehyun through the mirror, admiring the youthful makeup. Blushy cheeks and innocent eyes of two teenagers in love, masking the raw lust between two nemesi. It couldn’t stray any further from the truth.

A staff member leads both you and Jaehyun (who is refusing to spare even one look your way) back to the main set. The director is passionately explaining what he wants to see from you in your first scene, but you can barely focus with Jaehyun’s eyes burning holes through your school girl outfit. You block him out and walk inside the ‘classroom’, spotting the cameras and sitting on your designated seat, while you wait for your signal to start.

Of course, you had acted before. Yes, you had expected for the director to ask you for some more intimate moments with your co-star. But when Jaehyun passed you a “love note” from the desk in front of you, looking all blushy and shy and with his dimples showing, you felt that the role of crushing schoolgirl became a little too easy for you to act out. 

And maybe, just maybe he was feeling the same way too. He looked pretty flustered when he saw you dancing across class, shifting restlessly in his seat when you bent forward to tie your shoelaces. Whether you did it on purpose or not, was a question your ego didn’t allow you to answer truthfully.

Most of the individual shots would be handled at a different shoot, so all you had to do was get over this one day with him. That’s what you repeated yourself over and over again. And you did pretty well, smiling charmingly at the camera, with the director praising you for your “innocent look”. You didn’t miss the scoff slipping from Jaehyun’s lips but you were good at ignoring it, focusing on getting through the different scenes in one-shot. 

You were currently leaning your body against the wall, playing with your hair while Jaehyun glances down at you, like a boy that is ready to confess to his first love. 

“y/n, I need you to give me something more shy, more bashful”, the director yells eagerly, but you can barely hear him, too focused on regulating your breathing. The look your co-star is giving you right now might seem loving and pure to the staff, but you know all too well the motives hidden behind his facade. It’s the calm before the storm, the silence he purposefully keeps to make you squirm, right before he whispers the most sinful propositions in your ears. 

Reading him like an open book, you stand still as he leans closer, just enough so that no one besides you get to hear his words.

“Come on y/n, can’t you act bashful? Or is it impossible for you to get embarrassed after getting fucked against the window of a TV station’s building?”

Clearing your throat, you’re suddenly hyper aware of every single sound and movement in the room. Suffocating, even in the light clothes you were wearing, and desperately trying to mute out his words that bring you back to the day he was repenting.

“When you were pressed up against that glass, moaning my name, all exposed for anyone that simply looked up to see, you weren’t too shy, were you?”

You raise your palm to wipe a bead of sweat that has collected on your temple, and breathe deeply through your nose, as if a good pump of oxygen would cool off the sudden heat between your legs. 

“Shut up Jaehyun”, you simply hiss through your front teeth, but he isn’t done yet.

“You know I can’t hold myself when I see you in skirts. So pretty. And you love to tease me in them too, I’ve noticed. Flashing me again and again until you get to suckle on my dick”

You were sure his voice was barely louder than a whisper, but the thought of anyone accidentally prying into your conversation had your whole body raising in temperature. The heat didn’t take long to reach your cheeks and you couldn’t remember the last time your legs felt like jelly, as they do now.

“Perfect y/n, that’s exactly what I’m looking for!”

You blinked back at Jaehyun a couple times, your mind trying to process that the director is cheering you on instead of scolding you to focus. The trembling hands, the fast-paced heartbeat, your big doe eyes. Though involuntarily, you had nailed the scene.

“You’re welcome”, Jaehyun mouths at you just as the staff announces a break. He scurries off to his dressing room without a word, as if he hadn’t just spewed his dirtiest of thoughts on set. It was almost as if he was daring you to follow him, but it’s not like he had left you a choice. You were fuming.

“Jaehyun”, you called out to him strictly but he didn’t acknowledge you, only walked further inside the small room with his name written neatly on the door. He was removing some of the heavier jewellery, rubbing the red lines they had left on his neck and wrist, momentarily catching your eyes on the mirror's reflection. They were misty, unreadable, and with how unpredictable you knew he could be, you decided to close the door behind you.

“Closing the door?”, he muses and in just a few long strides he has managed to trap you between his body and the wooden surface. It is reminiscent of your last meeting at the music show, and the memory of you tying him up doesn’t help with the organizing of your thoughts. “What are you planning on doing to me in here?”

You point one finger against his chest, not enough to create any real distance between you, but it comforts you nonetheless.

“What the fuck was that out there? What happened to professionalism?”

“Relax, kitty cat. I was just helping you act better”. His eyes stayed glued on your hips, once again making you all wound up and jumpy under his stare, “And it worked. You should be thanking me”

“I. Told. You.”, you started, tapping your finger on his sternum to emphasize each word, “Never call me that again. Today’s already hard as it is, why do you have to make it harder?”

He takes one more step towards you, his chest now touching yours and your hand that separated you lands involuntarily on his right peck. As if his presence wasn’t overwhelming enough, you feel a hardness pressing against your thigh, and for a moment you worry he can feel how wet you really are under your skirt. His voice is a low, a deep rumble.

“I don’t know. Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

“You are unbelievable”, you scowl at him and free yourself from his trap. You turn to the big mirror to avoid looking at him anymore, and you come to the embarrassing realization of how fucked out you look right now. You had to get out of there as soon as possible, before you do anything stupid and lose any trace of self control left in you. But not before you gave Jaehyun an earful.

“What I meant was that I am out there, being paid to be all lovey-dovey with you. This is not something easy for me you know. It’s basically prostitution.”

You catch Jaehyun’s eyes in his reflection, and for a fleeting moment they turn a colour that you hadn’t seen them in for a long time. Hurt? Disappointment? Whatever it was, it was gone in a second, replaced by that smile that made him both irresistibly smackable and fuckable at the same time.

“Did it cross your tiny brain that maybe someone could hear you? Staff leaks information all the time! If they found out we were fucking…”

“Were? Past tense?”

“Are. Will be. Whatever.” You sigh, defeated, hiding your eyes with your palms as you face him once again. “Like I said, this is important to me. So no more dirty talk on set. Okay?”

Jaehyun avoided your glance, from embarrassment or uninterest maybe. “Okay”

You continue to sit there silently, but your head is so occupied with a million thoughts that you don’t notice. How you will get through the rest of the shooting, whether your manager is looking for you or not, the coldness of the glass Jaehyun had pressed you against that day. The only thing that snapped you out of it, was him suddenly taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?”, you ask panicking, but you can’t dismiss the pool of excitement in your belly.

“We have a wardrobe change after the break, remember? And since you refuse to leave my changing room..”

You clear your throat, trying your hardest to rip your eyes away from his abdomen, that you’ve so keenly marked with love bites before. His naked skin must have monopolized your attention way more than you realized, as you can’t remember when he slithered his way closer to you, towering over your height.

“Stare much?”, he almost growls, arousal dripping from his voice.

Every fiber of your being wanted to lurch forward, glide your fingers through his hair and start nibbling at those pretty lips of his. The sexual tension, amplified by the argument you just had, was filling the room like a thick liquid would fill a cup. One more drop, one more second of his staring and it would overflow. It felt so real, that you could feel that drop landing on your forehead. Then another one on your cheek, and that’s when you realized that what you felt was real.

“What the-?”, Jaehyun mumbles as he stares up at the ceiling, a big wet spot staining it and allowing the water drops to slowly wet his styled locks. As you start to put two and two together, someone knocks loudly on the door, making you both jump one feet away from the other.

“Get undressed”, a high-pitched male voice that you recognize as Jaehyun’s manager calls through the door, “the rain is ruining the set. It’s a wrap for today”

———————————————————————

A soft touch on your lower back, an even softer breath making your ears tingle. A tentative kiss on your neck that’s full of purpose and makes you shiver.

And then another touch, this time more south on your body. Fingertips grazing over your sensitive clit. Easily moving through your wetness and finally dipping inside of you. That baritone voice.

“This pussy is mine, isn’t it, kitty cat?”

You look up to meet the face of the familiar voice, only to meet Jaehyun’s baby brown eyes. The pleasure was enough to make you ignore the despised nickname, flowing intensely through your body. You let out a desperate moan, gripping his arms to keep your balance. His fingers are now dragging through your walls and you clench around them instinctively, confused but enamored by his touch. You are falling apart.

“Jaehyun? What are you doing?”

“I want to make love to you”

“Love? But you hate me”

He plants another kiss on the slope of your neck, his hands picking up in pace and making you feel like you’re floating on air.

“Love. Hate. Is there really any difference when I’m here, ready to please you? Willing to make you feel things you have never felt before?”

“You already do”, you admit, only seconds away from your orgasm. The bliss is so close you can almost taste it, but for now you choose to taste his lips. They are so soft and warm that you realize you haven’t kissed Jaehyun since that night at the practice room. How you miss him. Not the group visual, not the idol, not even Jaehyun. Yoonoh.

“Yoonoh”, you moan out against his lips as the pleasure overtakes you, a low buzz humming in your ears, “mmm yes, Yoonoh”

“Who the fuck is Yoonoh?”

You finally wake up, your manager shaking you awake being the first thing you see. The sun’s morning rays are peeking through your blinds, warming your skin in lines. Your phone’s ignored alarm clock is still buzzing on top of your nightstand.

“No one. I’m awake, thanks”

Fuck. That makes it what? The fourth night in a row you dreamt about him?

“Get, up. Quickly. We’re late”

You groaned at the banging of your head that was caused by you getting up so fast. It was early into the morning, as you had to get ready for the mv’s second shooting day. The heavy rainfall wouldn’t allow for the filming to continue for another week, yet aided your growing anxiety of having to encounter Yoon- Jaehyun again. 

You felt a little stupid, like a kid that goes to middle school for the first time, anxious but full of butterflies in your stomach in the thought of seeing him again. You weren’t sure who the anger, that came with the inability to control the fresh feelings bubbling from your dream, should be directed at. Your manager for booking you this job? Jaehyun for making it his goal to have you dripping wet on set? You, for letting it all affect you so much?

You decide on the former, giving your poor manager the cold shower for forcing you to deal with the problems you’ve caused yourself. Checking your phone, you realise that you are, indeed, late, and wonder how quick you’re going to have to make your morning shower.

“Is Jaehyun and his team there already?”, you ask your manager as nonchalantly as you could, feigning mildly interested in his answer.

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? The other team asked for the shootings to continue separately”. You felt your stomach drop all the way down to your condo’s basement. And the icing on the cake: “Jung Jaehyun’s request”

Maybe your manager wasn’t as clueless to your electricity, or maybe it was your sudden impulse to pluck every loose thread of the pyjama top you were wearing that made him sense the discomfort following what he’d just said. He plops next to you on your bed, boards creaking in the silent room and you feel his rough hands patting you on the back.

“I’m sure he had an overlap in schedules and needed a break, nothing to do with you”

But you knew better, and you knew your palms wouldn’t stop itching unless you picked up your fucking phone and sent him a message. 

you [06:30]: i heard you can’t make it to set today. everything ok?

You wish you never did. The radio silence from his number was way worse than any insult, any form of teasing he could give you on set. You even tried calling him, desperate for an answer, a closure even. Maybe he was busy. Maybe the shooting took longer than expected. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding you; one of his managers uploaded his latest story on his instagram, not him. Maybe at the end of the week he would get back to you.

------------------------------------------------------

Going to his dorm unannounced was not a good idea. Waiting for someone to open the door for you, you hope his members will recognise you from your trainee days, or those rare nights Jaehyun sneaked you in when you were both lonely and in need of a… well, whatever you two were.

You’re starting to worry that whoever saw you from the peephole thought you were a sasaeng and called security, when Mark opens the door. His eyes are wide open behind his glasses, clearly not expecting you and immediately yelling for his ‘Jaehyun hyung’.

Soon, the called male arrives at the apartment’s entrance, annoyed for being interrupted from whatever it was he was doing. “What is it, me and Jungwoo are watching the season fina-“

As if Mark suddenly turned invisible, Jaehyun walks right past him, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you to his room without another word.

Jungwoo, engrossed with the aforementioned show’s season finale on his computer screen, tries to cover up his naked torso in panic when he notices you. 

“Get out.”, Jaehyun orders him, and the younger man knows that his tone is not one to be argued with. It triggers the cold sweat that makes your clothes stick closer to your skin and forces your heartbeat to quicken, pumping blood all over your body. The door closes, leaving you both alone with only the sound of Jungwoo’s laptop still playing in the background. A lighthearted scene that is too oxymoronic against the tension that is just palpable at this point. What the hell were you thinking coming here?

“What the hell were you thinking coming here?”, Jaehyun speaks your thoughts out loud, and you wince at how empty your head is with excuses.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“What?”, he asks dumbly, hoping you would avoid asking again.

“Was it that hard to text me back? Am I such a waste of your time?”

Jaehyun seems angry at your confrontation, his bad mood escalating with every word that is leaving your mouth. He still avoids to look at you, toying with some plushies and decorations next to his bedpost. You realize you never had time to really notice them, barely recognizing them. You always entered the room blindly, pressed up against Jaehyun’s body and with his lips all over your neck, then left as soon as the sex was over. His apathy was infuriating.

One by one, you start to remove all of your outerwear, dropping your clothes on the floor until you’re left in only your bra and jeans. Jaehyun stares at you incredulously, then at the pile of clothes on the floor, unable to make out the reasoning behind your impromptu stripping.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting naked. Seems to be the only time you can actually pay attention to me.”

You reach for the buttons of your jeans, only able to unzip it halfway before Jaehyun has you pinned against the wall behind you, his fingers cool and pressing lightly against your neck.

“I-I fucking hate you!”, he cries, punching the surface to release some of the steam, and lets go of the hold on your neck almost completely. How tempted he is, to just fuck your right against that wall, pour out his anger by pouring out his cum inside you, then ignore each other like you always do.

It’s the easy thing to do, keeping the toxic circle going. All barking and fucking and no real problem gets resolved in the end. He wouldn’t even call a cab for you, preferring to be hated for something he wasn’t than to be rejected for showing the real him. You would still have no idea about his feelings towards you, going around saying how awful he was while asking for a round two. But Jaehyun was tired.

“Can’t you tell that I am trying to distance myself from you?”, he sighs and it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sound so emotionally exhausted.

“Why do you dislike me so much? We used to be friends and then one day you-“

“Friends? Just friends?”, he interrupts you with a chuckle and a sarcastic puff through his nose, and you shake your head.

“If you also think that what we had was more special than a common friendship then why act like you don’t know me?”

“You were the one who wanted to ‘forget about anything happening and never telling a soul about it’, remember?”

“I thought we came to a mutual agreement! I was just trying to save our careers and it worked Jaehyun, you got to debut and I-“

“And you just threw away everything we had like it was the easiest thing to do! Do you ever want to know how I feel, y/n? First you want nothing to do with me, left the company without even saying goodbye. Then I try to forget about you, become an asshole to keep you out of my life and suddenly you want to jump my bones. One day you just play blind to everything, asking for professionalism and now I’m the one ignoring you? What the fuck do you want? A fuck buddy? A professional? A friend?”

“I want you, Yoonoh. Fuck, I just want you”

You’re not sure which one of you initiates the kiss. His lips are as plump and kissed as hard as you recalled, a couple of tears staining your cheeks that you didn’t realize you were holding back. It felt so right, the way his head pushed and pulled away from yours, always inviting you back to him. One hand was situated over the dimples of your waist, the other lost between your hair, untangling it gently. You decided to lay yours over his heart, feeling its tempo and calming yourself down.

You kiss for what seems like an eternity, so drunk in bliss that you can’t remember how you made it through life without Jaehyun’s taste all over your tongue. When he pulls away from your lips, you almost whine, but his fingertips dabbing at the soft skin of your cheeks feel just as comforting.

“I don’t want us to be like this anymore”, you whisper to him and he nods encouragingly, holding you even closer. “I’m sorry for not reaching out to you all these years ago, I just thought ‘What would a brand new idol want to do with a failed trainee like me’-“

Jaehyun brings your fingers to his lips, kissing all your knuckles one by one and you think you’re gonna burst at the seams. “You weren’t a failure, you were the best thing to happen to me back then”. His voice is so sincere that you don’t dare question the veracity of what he’s saying and you let him continue. “When I saw you again I was so bitter, I decided to turn off my feelings. I think I get too comfortable in that role. I put it on for me, my members, my fans even”, he stops then, laughing sadly, “it’s how I finally got you”

It was your turn to open up his eyes to the truth, holding his face between your hands and admiring its beauty. 

“That’s not true. I kept staying because I knew what was hidden behind all that armor. I guess, the sex was the only way to get closer to you”

“Not because I’m good?”, he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and you can feel his dimples forming under your fingers.

“Eh, you’re pretty good too”

He starts pecking your neck, his smile obvious in his kisses and you squeal when he lifts you to his bed. Bouncing on the hard mattress, you let him lay his body weight over yours as he gives you a million traces of his love. 

“So, I’m guessing this means we start over?”, he asks reluctantly as he emerges from your half naked body and you hold back from cooing at him.

“I thought you loved to hate me?”

“I think I hate it, but I love you”

[portsidewonderland]

Okay, I’ve been wanting to write this for the last three weeks, but I’m finally - finally - sitting down to do just that.

First, I’m a Rogan shipper. I’ve been a Rogan shipper for the last 20 years, but in that time, I’ve grown, I’ve experienced my own sense of love, and I’m a writer so I’d like to think I’m familiar with structure, characterization, and the like.

Second, I’m focused on the film franchise, strictly speaking. Just wanted to make sure that is clear.

Having said that, when I discuss how utterly wrong the X-Men franchise is, I’m talking about from a story standpoint. When I speak of Logan and Rogue, if that ship isn’t your jam, fine, but the points I make still stand.

Finally, spoiler alert for all of the movies.

Okay, I think we’re ready to jump in.

1. After the first movie, everyone forgot the heart of what made the first movie so special: Wolverine & Rogue

I don’t necessarily mean together. I mean, the movie focused primarily on Logan’s story and Rogue’s story. It was told through THEIR POV. This is important because, essentially, we’re asked to connect with these two characters AND WE DO.

The dialogue, the acting, and their stories (which reflect each other’s as well as stand on their own) draw us in and we are hooked.

Even the critics thought some of the best scenes are the ones Logan and Marie share together. Multiple critics discuss chemistry, how they add to the scene, etc.

Regardless of whether you ship them or not, there’s a compelling story between the two. This vulnerable, slip of a girl is the most powerful X-men out there (or one of) and this growly, fierce angry, broken man who’s been alone for so long that out of everyone he’s met and seen, THIS girl brings him to his knees.

And it’s because she isn’t scared of him.

Even after watching him beat the shit out of his opponent, even after seeing the claws threaten humans and slice through a barrel of a gun, she still thinks, I can trust him.

And when he catches her in his trailer, she STILL isn’t afraid of him. She gives him lip. She calls him out on his shit.

That’s how she manages to slide through the cracks.

And that is BEAUTIFUL.

I’m not here to talk about the performances, but Jesus Christ, I love this scene so damn much. The chemistry RADIATES. The glances, the confusion, the curiosity, and the attraction. (Sorry not sorry, it’s there on both parts, I’ll die on this hill.)

Anyway, the first movie is about how this girl brings the savage, feral Wolverine to his knees. How she gets him to STAY. How she gets him to open up.

Yes, Logan wants info on his past, but he’s staying for Marie. We all know it.

When he threatens Jean after first waking up, Jean is scared. And for good reason, obviously.

But Logan STABS Marie with his claws, and guess what? She’s still not scared of him. She’s worried about him.

This is THEIR story.

Do you really think Wolverine is going to go running around in leather for anyone but Marie? Yeah, I don’t think so. I mean, he literally STABS HIMSELF IN THE CHEST to free himself and get to her.

He PROMISES her that he’d take care of her. Do you think Wolverine bullshits? Hell no, he doesn’t.

And that’s why....

2. The whole Jean thing was just not great.

Okay, can I tell you something?

I don’t see Jean as a sympathetic character. She’s engaged to Scott and suddenly, Wolverine comes strolling in and she can’t get her shit together?

I mean, okay, I get it, let’s be real.

But Scott isn’t a bad guy. He nay be a dick, but he treats Jean well. Because we’re not in Cyclops’ or Jean’s head, we as the audience don’t see any marital/romantic issues between them. Hence, when Jean gets flustered by Wolverine to the point where she lets him goad her into reading his mind, she knows what she’s doing. She likes it. She likes Logan’s attention.

Not because she likes Logan.

(I read this fic where basically Jean tells Logan he could have been anybody, and I thought that was so perfect)

But because he’s giving her attention. He makes her feel desired.

And she leads him on.

Right there, I don’t like her, and I think that’s why a lot of Rogan shippers don’t like her is that she has no problem toying not only with Logan’s feelings, but with Scott’s.

But that’s not even the worst part of this.

At the end, when Logan asks for Marie and Jean makes her comment, she adds, “I think she’s taken with you.”

Like - why would Jean say that? Why mention it?

That’s petty ass shit right there.

To me, what she’s trying to do is align herself with Logan as adults and belittle Marie for having a little crush on him. Like it’s so juvenile.

And the worst line of this whole movie is when he says, “Tell her my heart belongs to another.”

Want to know why?

Because the writers/director haven’t SHOWN this. This line is forced here to TELL the audience that we should be shipping Jean and Wolverine. It’s sloppy writing. It tells me they think the audience are idiots.

Really, Logan?

Jean has your heart even though you completely go against Tall Dark and Feral to pick up a girl, then stay at the school with her, leave a fucking mansion to bring her back, make a promise to her, go after her after she’s kidnapped, stab yourself in the chest, fling yourself on the Statue of Liberty AND RISK YOUR FUCKING LIFE TO SAVE ROGUE’S JUST BY TOUCHING HER and you want me to believe your heart belongs to Jean????

Please, tell me, why the FUCK should I buy that?

Oh, because they’re the same age?

LOL no.

Anyway, I didn’t like Jean’s characterization because of that. Because she’s leading people on, because she needs to put down Marie’s feelings after her ordeal because of her insecurity, because of it all.

Which is why I’ll never ship them together.

Logan is at his worst when he’s around Jean.

Anyway.

And Jean is just the worst.

3. They took something meaningful and they fucked it

Logan promises to take care of Rogue. Do you know important that is for both of them as individuals and their relationship?

Rogue only goes back because of Logan. Not for anyone else. Not even Bobby. She comes back, she stays, for Logan.

Where do we see that after the second movie?

He’s so goddamned focused on Jean, on everything about her, that he barely notices that Rogue is ready to get the cure.

I’m GLAD they got a scene together. Because of their looks.

I am.

But shit.

It’s like Logan has completely forgotten all about Rogue, and I’m sorry, but after that first movie, I just can’t buy that.

I can buy that he leaves to check out his past. The dog tag scene is one of my absolute favorites. That’s perfect. Makes sense.

(Also, side note: Fic is so beautiful about this but he isn’t afraid to touch her. Like, he doesn’t HAVE to play with her hair but he does. It’s playful and flirty. It IS. He could have just said he liked her hair BUT HE HAD TO TOUCH IT. And this is HUGE for Rogue because honestly SHE’S afraid to touch and of herself but if Logan isn’t afraid, she stops being afraid - if that makes sense.)

But seriously? He’s not calling the mansion, not writing to Rogue?

I don’t believe that for one second.

This is why I will never watch The Wolverine after that first time (I refuse especially after the director said he was contemplating adding Rogue at the end and didn’t and FUCK EVERYTHING.) because he just leaves because he’s upset about fucking JEAN

I’m sorry but the Wolverine isn’t ABOUT Jean.

If that was the case, we should have had point of views between Logan and Jean in the first movie, not Rogue.

We should have SEEN their development, but we didn’t.

We’re TOLD it.

I’m sorry, but how do you want me to believe that the big bad Wolverine runs off to Japan because he’s sad about Jean? Like, so he’s just going to leave Rogue alone with all of those threats? Are you fucking kidding me?

Show them keeping in touch or SOMETHING. You can’t expect me to see such a huge transformation arc in Logan in the first movie that just gets shit on in every other movie (besides the second). Because that makes Wolverine look like a big, gigantic ASSHOLE and I get that he’s supposed to be that way, but NOT with Rogue.

Which is why Days of Future Past pisses me off as much of the rest them (I’m only discussing the Rogue Cut because I refuse to acknowledge that Bryan Singer - who gave us the first movies - regulated Rogue to such a fucking small cameo.) because Rogue was treated as garbage.

Now, I’m going to assume Logan doesn’t know about what really happened to Rogue because no one told him. But honestly? If he cares about Rogue the way I know he does, he should be asking about her every single time he and Xavier talk.

I love that Logan can sense Rogue when she steps in to help. I love that Rogue refuses to let go of Logan’s mind even in the heart of danger (@bigfrogbestfrogs has an awesome breakdown of these scenes). But I’m appalled at how Kitty is chosen before Rogue? Like, even when coming up with the idea for this movie, why not involve Rogue more?

I refuse to discuss Bobby and her together at the end.

Fuck that.

4. The timelines

Look, I’m not even going to go into the shit that is the timelines.

But honestly?

Fuck everything about that.

I get Singer wanted to retcon X3, but I don’t care.

Based on Apocalypse, the future still sucks so everything failed and then the movie LOGAN takes that shit and amplifies it.

5. LOGAN (the movie)

I’m sorry, but this movie is amazing in some ways and sucks in others.

Want to know why?

Because it takes everything about what made the first movie great and emphasized it.

Laura is too young to be a love interest, so clearly, it’s paternal, and I’m here for it.

But there are so many parallels between logan and Laura and Logan and Rogue that for Logan not to say anything or feel anything in a way tgat tells the audience he’s feeling something just boggles my mind.

Even if he carried HER picture or played with the dog tags and thought of her, something that shows the audience he remembers her, dammit, and she MEANT something to him.

But FUCK how could he NOT?

And that’s why the scene where he’s reading that comic book and he sees himself saving Rogue is so poignant.

Because his gaze lingers.

I mean, obviously I’m assuming she’s dead (which is bullshit but whatever). But still.

And then when he’s dying and Laura is holding his hands and you get that prophecy of him dying with his heart in his hand and I loved how they paired it with the Logan and Rogue song. I loved that callback.

And if the films in between them weren’t such shit, it would be enough.

But it’s not enough for me.

There was so much potential and everything got shit on and it angers me soooo much.

Anyway.

That’s me venting.

Luckily we have so many talented Rogan fic writers and that our ship has survived 20 years.

But still.

What could have been...

Shit.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Lost In Language”

Lost in language and I don't know much. Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch? But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted.

Seriously? Nothing? You guys have never heard Air Supply? I mean, they’re old AF but still. It’s a funny pun. Whatever.

Back in the day (like it was so long ago) I didn’t know what to expect from this episode. The only thing I caught from the description was library, but hoo boy, we got so much more!

I love the cold opens to this show. It always reminds me that Luz is a silly ass hyper fangirl who still wants life to play out like it does on TV. 

“Learning about love and life through the eyes of a child.”

Spoken like a true person who have never done any actual babysitting. The Bat Queen gets her own soft intro for another episode, which I’m noticing more and more re-watching this show. She pays Eda to watch her baby in exchange for a butt-ton of money. Eda, in classic Eda fashion, would rather not split the cash with Luz and gives her an errand to run so she doesn’t have to do it. 

I don’t know about you guys, but liked going to the library when I was a kid. It was the only way I could play computer games or go on the internet. Getting online is the easiest thing in the world today, but when I was a kid, it was a luxury my parents couldn’t afford. And dumb-dumb kid me didn’t know that you can borrow movies and comic for free at the library too. That’s how I saw Jaws for the first time.

The library at The Boiling Isles is almost exactly what I expected. Kinda like the Hogwarts library, but with a lot more teeth and eyes everywhere. Luz has a bunch of fun just messing around, until she stumbles upon the cutest goddamn thing ever!

Amity reading to kids at the public library in her free time. My god.

I’m with Luz here. Holy hell, I did not see that coming. I thought Amity was the rival character, the Draco Malfoy of the show, the reluctant ally, the jerk with the heart of gold DEEP in there somewhere. Instead she’s at the Kid’s Corner reading her favorite childhood classic to toddlers. I didn’t know there were angels in the demon realm.

Stop. Stop! You’re already cute.

Seriously this moment made me go “aw” and laugh at the same time. It was weird. Also how does this library have a manga section? Do they import these books from JAPAN in the HUMAN REALM? Is there a publishing company that acts as the middleman? Or are these just the books that the trash slugs ended up barfing on the beach somewhere? I’m thinking too hard about a throwaway joke in the background. Big brain hurt.

AND back to reality...

Luz tries to extend the hand of friendship to Amity and Amity rejects it. I have...thoughts.

First, they this up with another parallel to Azura in the beginning of the episode. I get it. It’s a theme that they are doing, but I would have rather have Luz try to befriend Amity because she wants to, not because Azura did it. It’s not the only reason she does it, but it does kinda bug me a bit. It kinda goes back to Luz wanting life to play out like a story. 

Also, a part of me thinks that this is something Amity likes to do alone. Her way of getting away from everyone else and just do something that she enjoys and makes her feel good. We have no proof that it gives her extra credit, so she could just use that as a way to save face. She seemed so happy to do it too. 

Finally, you know what this else this reminds me of? The Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. There’s a popular fan theory that has been around since the eighties that if you look at The Karate Kid from the rival’s perspective, the protagonist is the bully. I’m more than sure that’s what going on here. From Amity’s perspective, Luz just gets her into trouble. We’ll get more into that later.

Luz walks off dejected and we get the second big surprise to punch me in the face.

Holy hell, why the fuck are you two so goddamn fucking pretty? I mean, holy shit, look at these two. My god. And ERICA LINDBECK as Emira? Jesus Christ, I’m going to be feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling in places I can’t say!

Joking aside, we get one of our first full introductions that didn’t come with a soft intro from a previous episode. Enter Emira and Emira, Amity’s older siblings who in true sibling fashion like to give Amity a hard time.  

“Hey, mittens!”

This seems normal at first. Siblings always rib each other. No big deal.

Amity storms off. The twins introduce themselves proper to Luz (and the audience) and they mess around for a bit. 

In fact, they have so much fun messing around with Luz that they decide to invite her back afterhours to check out The Wailing Star. Luz thinks that this is a great way to get on Amity’s good side by befriending her siblings. Why she would think this I have no idea.

Meanwhile the B-plot continues its adventures in babysitting. I don’t like using the word filler (so I won’t) but this B-plot is really just for two things: setting up Escape of the Palisman and jokes. It does both. No harm, no foul.

Also the twins said for Luz to meet back at midnight and Luz was at The Owl House for like a hot second. There’s like a huge gap of time there. What did she do until midnight? Whatever. If it was important it would have been animated.

Also also, I love all of Luz’s little saying in this episode. She does it a lot but they cranked it up in this episode. Featuring great hits like:

“This sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.”

and

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

and my favorite

“Call me a library book because they were checking me out.”

I hope they keep doing that.

Back at the literal Wailing Star (I laughed so hard), The twins and Luz discover that The Wailing Star brings the content of the books to life. Does that work for all books in The Boiling Isles or just the library? Enough. No more big brain. The three proceed to...mess around some more.

The twins discover offscreen (Really? Really.) that if you edit the contents of the book, you change what comes to life. Then the twins reveal their true objectives. Apparently, Amity has been tattling on the twins whenever they cut class or do whatever it is that they want. They’ve decided to look for her secret little hideaway (that they somehow know is in the library), find her diary and post all the pages all over school to teach her a lesson. 

Um, fucking no.

And here we enter the true lesson of this episode and probably the reason why Hecate is draw with two faces. People being more than just what they appear to be at face value. 

Amity appears to be the bully character of the show, and while she did bully Willow, Luz and King, there’s more to her than that. Amity is lonely. As a fellow person who grew up lonely, trust me. I can tell from a mile away. She puts pressure on herself to be the best at whatever she’s doing and to be the best. She hates that she follows the rules but people like her siblings seem to get rewarded for breaking the rules and doing whatever they want free of consequence. She sees the double standard that they live by and it angers her. But at the same time, everyone seems to give the twins a free pass so she can’t do anything about it. 

Even worse, there’s no one for her to confide in. It wouldn’t make it better but it would make it easier for her to just vent and get the bullshit out of her brain. She doesn’t like her friends and the one friend she did like...that’s for another episode. Hence, the diary. Amity is a big ball of frustration and loneliness. I know because I grew up in a very similar way.

When you’re forced to keep your anger inside you, you lash out at any little thing that bothers you just to ease your frustrations. It doesn’t make it okay but it’s the only way to cope sometimes just to get by.

The twins on the other hand seem like everything you’d want in a friend. They’re fun; they like you; they’re attractive; they’re attentive. But in reality, they live in a world where they believe consequences and accountability don’t apply to them. And they’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even humiliate their sister.

Luz seems like a happy-go-lucky, friends to all things kinda person, but she can also be innocently insensitive. She just does things hoping they turn out the way they would for Azura without considering how the people around her would feel about it.

It doesn’t make any of these characters two-faced. We just are different things to different people.

Amity discovers what’s going down and Luz (being the empathic person that she is) decide to try to go talk to her. 

Then I’m reminded that this is a horror-comedy.

My god, you’re ugly.

One climax later (don’t laugh), and Luz and Amity try to make amends with each other. They both have to think about how they’ve been treating the other, earning the title of bully or not. They’re not friends yet but this is...better.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Damn, The Owl House is one a roll. That’s what? Three 5 scored episodes already? Hot damn. This episode was fun but it really hit hard with the character work on Amity. She quickly became one of the most interesting characters and a fan favorite. And the third act provided a good amount of horror to call this a horror comedy. The B-plot is fine but probably one of the weakest only saved by several funny jokes. This is one of those episodes I kept coming back to and a favorite to watch.

Could you two please not? I’m gonna get in trouble.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

12. Granny Out of Control a.k.a. headless chickens, Gene Simmons’ girlfriend and Rapunzel

In the previous chapters: Judy and Stone act after their embarrassing encounter in the shower as if it hadn’t even happened; they implicitly agree on not telling Mike that his one-night stand was just the consequence of Judy’s revenge-fueled rumors about Stone’s sexual preferences. Ed loses his voice so the show has to be canceled, Jeff offers to give guitar lessons to Judy instead in his spare time. Granny buys a metal magazine to learn more about Seattle-based rock bands; the picture of Pearl Jam makes her think the perfect match for Judy isn’t Jeff but Stone. Krisha picks Effie up in the city to tell her that Kelly Curtis and Susan Silver have plans with her as a photographer; she also gives her the list of codenames the band and crew members use at hotels. Effie also joins her when she feeds Stone’s unsociable cat, Red who is incompatible with all girls who try to approach him.

 „I don’t know, man… Are you sure you saw them?”

“Don’t piss me off, Schmitty, of course I’m sure. I know whom and what I saw.” I mumble as I put the flashlight back between my teeth. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Not only makes he me do this stupid act, he even drives me crazy with this weak-minded questioning in the meantime. The guy obviously watches too much TV. Especially detective shows about drug cartels.

“But let’s go over it again. Maybe you were wrong or misunderstood the situation or…”

I sigh, and take the flashlight out of my mouth only to direct the blinding ray of light in his face.

“Okay, but this is the last time. And I’m only willing to tell it again because I have nothing better to do and because technically, I can’t do anything else until we finish this. Open the bag and hold it.”

“Yes sir... so you went having a shower…”

“Not that it matters if I went showering or shitting but yes, I went to the restroom.”

“And you opened the door…” he goes on with the storytelling like a small child who already knows his favorite bedtime story by heart.

“And there were they, standing at the sinks…”

“Stop. Are you sure it was them?”

“Of course I am, I could recognize Judy and Stone from miles!”

“Are you 100 % sure?”

“No, I’m only 99 % sure because there’s a very small chance that they both have doppelgangers right in this town but let’s say I’m very likely to have seen them.” I confirm while I start portioning the green leaves into the plastic bag Schmitty is holding.

“And they were…”

“…basically naked.”

“Basically?” he asks like he’d never heard the word before.

“Yes, basically.”

“How do you mean “basically”?”

“What? I’m fucking around here with sharing my weed with you and you’re already high? Unbelievable…”

“No-no-no, seriously, man, you didn’t say “naked”, you said “basically naked”. Define the difference. It’s important.” he flails fussily.

“Stop shaking the bag, it’s difficult enough to do this only with one hand. So, uh, they weren’t completely naked, they both were wearing a towel…”

“The same towel or…?”

“Hah, interesting idea, but no, they both had their own towel on. But I assume none of them was wearing any underwear…”

“That’d be normal, I mean, after showering… but that’s the weakest point in your theory, them having a shower at the same time… it sounds so unreal.”

“Yeah, I thought the same until I found the only logical reason.”

“What? That you only dreamed the whole thing? Or that it was just an intense trip due to the shrooms Mike gave you?”

“I know it sounds unbelievable but at this point, I’m pretty much convinced they did it on purpose.” I close the bag and throw it at Schmitty who hides it immediately in the inner pocket of his jacket and pats himself on the chest satisfied.

“Thanks. But I can’t follow your thinking, Scully. Why’d they secretly meet in the shower?”

“I don’t want to shock you but… I think they had sex right before. I almost entered but then I glanced them and they were almost naked, both giggling and Judy was groping Stone and… I backed out, I was so surprised, I didn’t even know what to do…”

“But they hate each other.” Schmitty protests shaking his head.

“And? Since when can’t people who hate each other have sex with each other?”

“Man, this is too much to me, Stone has Amber at home, Judy is like a nun, they can’t stand each other so obviously, they have sex??? Bullshit, that’s all I can say. I don’t know what you saw but it definitely couldn’t be a post-coital scene.”

“Look, I don’t understand the exact reasons either but…”

“I’ve always been told that as soon as we start touring, girls will try to drag me in the tour bus all the time but I imagined it somehow different…”

We both freeze at the hearing of Stone’s smug giggling and our surprise only grows when we recognize the voice that belongs to his companion.

“Sorry for ruining your wet rock star dreams but it’s impossible here to talk to someone face-to-face, even the walls have ears in this crew.”

Schmitty and I exchange a meaningful look and to his nod, I turn the flashlight on the lowest level. Walls might not have ears here but this bunk bed curtain we’re hiding behind definitely does. Even four, to be exact.

“So what’s the purpose of this conspired, hyper-secret meeting, Camden? I’m hungry so let’s get over with this as fast as possible!”

Hungry, yeah, I can imagine. So you prefer quickies, Stoney?

“I just wanted to talk about yesterday.”

Schmitty stares at me with popped eyes, even his jaws drop of shock.

“Ha. So you were thinking about it?”

“Yes but not the way you think. I’m not gonna tell you tirades about how much I regretted it or stuff because I didn’t. I only want to ask if you talked to Scully about it?”

Schmitty grabs my forearm, digging his nails into it, his other hand is shaking uncontrollably.

“No and I don’t know why I should force it, I mean it happened, it’s embarrassing enough for both of us so let’s draw a veil over it.”

“It’s embarrassing for both of us? Do you really think I give a damn about that? I mean, okay, I lost control, which doesn’t happens really often to me but who cares, I can handle the consequences. You feeling embarrassed, now that’s the last thing I care about. But have you already thought about the feelings of your friend at least for one single second?”

We both furrow our eyebrows and her words probably found their marks since Stone doesn’t answer, which makes Judy go on with the pep talk.

“Okay, neither of us is going to say a word since we both have selfish interest in keeping it in secret but if Scully shoots his mouth off and he finds out about what happened… just think into it, it’d ruin his self-esteem. I mean, it’s inevitable that it turns out later but the best strategy is discretion. Now, it’d be too fresh for him, let’s wait until he forgets about this little… intermezzo.”

Schmitty covers his still opened mouth in complete horror and even I start feeling uncomfortable now that my intuition is basically confirmed.

“So, would you finally promise to talk to Scully?”

“Dunno… I’ll consider it.”

“Jesus Christ, Gossard, would it hurt not to piss me off once in a lifetime?”

“To answer your question, yes, it would but this time it’s not about you, Miss Fussy. I was just thinking that we should let it slide since after all, it’s not as a big deal as you think.”

You fuck her and then try to ditch her? Come on Stone, I thought you were better than this.

“I mean, you make such a fuss but I don’t think Scully would let it slip, he’s probably already forgotten about the whole scene. And if I came up with it, he’d just start overthinking it; when he knows he has to shut his mouth, he becomes gossipy all the more.”

Ha, thanks Stoney but just for the record, I don’t gossip, I just process things by discussing them with other people, see also at “coping mechanisms”…

“It’s you who’s overthinking it. Just stop protesting and do what I ask you. I even use the word “please”.”

“Fuck, okay, I’ll see what I can do, just leave me finally alone with this. Can I ask you something too?”

“It depends…”

“Could we stay here for ten… fifteen minutes? You know, it’s about my reputation…”

“Fuck off, Gossard!!!”

We both exhale with a deep sigh when we hear them leaving the bus.

“Holy. Shit.”

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. Dude, you were right!”

“Of course I was right, I always am, you just never believe me.“

“But… damn… I didn’t see that coming… Gahhh.” Schmitty facepalms, rubbing his forehead worried.

“I’m surprised, though, I thought they didn’t notice me.”

“Apparently, they did. Jesus, I doubt there’s something serious between them but now that I heard it with my own ears, it all makes sense! They hook up, they are both embarrassed since they are enemies, plus the Amber-factor… and poor Jeff, he has a massive crush on Judy and she knows it, maybe she tries to have two irons in the fire… So she convinced him to keep the fling in secret not to ruin her chances at Jeff… She looks so innocent and now she turns out to be an actual snake… Do you think Karrie knows about it?” he jabbers staring desperately in front of himself.

“Whoa, stop, dude, are you insane? She’s not a bitch, they just made a mistake and she freaked out. Her worrying about Jeff sounded genuine, after all, Stone is no perspective for her, he’s got that… he’s got Amber, whatever she is for him. And I don’t think Karrie knows anything, even if she does, she’ll pretend she doesn’t.”

“But this changes everything! Jeff is our friend too and I don’t want to lie to him.”

“Trust me, he’ll never ask “And tell me Schmitty, have Judy and Stone had sex?”, so you don’t have to.”

“You’re making fun of me but you know too how dangerous information these are so you’d better have a good idea what are we going to do know.”

“I’ll tell you, Schmitty: we’re gonna act casual. Just watch me.”

***

„There’s no chance I could reach that string. Just… no. I don’t have that muscle, I’m done.” I moan as I desperately try to stretch my pinky finger to play the next chord following Jeff’s instructions.

“Hey, relax, just reach a bit further, you’ve almost got it.” he chuckles and makes an insecure move to help me out but he changes his mind in the last moment and pretends he only wanted to scratch his arm. And I pretend not to have noticed it.

“No, it’s impossible, I can’t twist my wrist that much. I don’t have freakishly long fingers like Stone, it’s enough.” I give up and put the guitar aside. We’ve been practicing for like one hour, I played him my still rudimentary sounding song idea, of course without telling him what exactly it was. He improvised a bass line to it on his acoustic bass guitar, his fingers are still running back and forth over the strings despite the fact I stopped playing. When I was a kid, Grandpa would tell me that if you cut the head of a chicken, it can still run around for a few seconds before collapsing, maybe it’s a similar phenomenon. Or maybe it’s like when a freight train hits a car and it pushes the vehicle in front of itself for miles before stopping. Headless chickens and train wrecks, why am I thinking about stuff like these while hanging out with a nice guy?

“I’m sure you can do it if you practice it. Look, my fingers aren’t long either.” he raises his palm. Is he expecting me to measure mine to his by placing them together? Could we rather just draw them around and compare the drawings like small children? Okay, he’s got strong, manly hands, that’s not bad at all. But how can he stuff those thick fingers between the strings? And those jewelries, God, they are terrible. Would he mind if I asked him to put them off?

“No, I can’t. I’m not good at these moves, I’ve already tried to play the violin, it didn’t go well. It went awful.” I protest, rather to overtalk my racing thoughts than to argue with him. I hope he’s not going to ask me about the details, I don’t feel like telling him that story at all.

“Okay, it was you who asked me for help, so…” he shrugs with a half smile, his fingers are still nerve-wrackingly torturing the instrument.

“Actually it was you who offered to help so…”

“Fair enough. I don’t want to force it so… if you want to finish all your future performances by saying “sorry, now comes the chord which is incompatible with my wrist so go the fuck home” – then okay, I don’t care.” he puts down the guitar. I try to decode the expression on his face, is he disappointed or just casual or…?

“How do you do that?” I ask quickly, I can’t bear that look.

“What?”

“This… everything…” I flail helplessly.

“I don’t know… I think I got bored with doing nothing and wanted to try something new and I realized I could do everything instead of nothing.” he leans back with a challenging smirk.

“Geez, you spend too much time with Stone.” I roll my eyes. “I mean… I played you something and you immediately knew what to do with it. Your head is full of ideas and variations, can you hear the harmonies instinctively or…?”

“I don’t know… when I hear a melody, I start hearing the other parts in my head… but sometimes I just mess around and try different things to check if they can work as a song or as an idea that I can use later. I try to keep my ears fresh, I fight against crafting only bass lines in my head, that’s why I pick up the guitar from time to time. You know, if a bass player never leaves his comfort zone, after a while, he’ll tend to operate only with the same five or five notes, it’s like a tunnel vision… or tunnel hearing…” he ends his explanation with a shrug and a lopsided smile, as far as I’ve observed, he does that pretty often.

“That’s amazing… I envy you so much. I’ve been studying and playing music for as long as I can remember but I’ve never felt that… sense of liberty? I practiced my ass off, I learned everything I could, at Juilliard, we basically dissected classical musical pieces into single notes and… I developed some weird perfectionism in the meantime, I know how good music is supposed to be composed but… I myself just can’t do it. I was so busy with studying other people’s works that I couldn’t develop the ability to create something, it’s like… my knowledge paralyzed my creativity… Or that’s just what I keep telling myself because I1m not willing to accept the fact that writing music is a gift you can’t just earn by practicing and learning…”

“Maybe you’re right.” he shrugs again and his reaction somehow hits me hard; I don’t know why, though. “I think I’ve already mentioned you that I took piano lessons but I hated it. I found literally nothing intriguing in it, it was boring, I’ve never been into Beethoven or some shit like that.”

“What?” I frown. I didn’t expect him to like the same things I do but… could he just show at least a little interest in what I like? I even talked about art and skateboarding with him. Okay, he doesn’t owe me anything, we’re not dating and all but if he ever wants something from me… okay, he probably doesn’t, it was obviously just a stupid gossip.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to trash your music, it’s just not for me, I appreciate it but I don’t like it. I’m just a Montanan jerk, did you forget?”

“You’re not a jerk, don’t say that… I’m just… nothing, forget it.”

“No, if you want to say something, don’t swallow it. Did I hurt you?”

“You didn’t… I’ve just spent my entire life playing classical music so I can’t imagine how someone is able not to like it at all.”

“Same here with sports.”

“God, I hate sports!” I exclaim and I immediately begin to laugh realizing I’m not better than him either.

“You see? But speaking of your music studies, there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to ask.”

“No.”

“No what? Am I not allowed to ask the question?”

“No is the answer to the question.”

“But I haven’t even…”

“Trust me, it’s no.”

“If you say so…”

“I’m just kidding. Most people attack me when they learn I’m a musician asking if I’d sing or play something for them, it’s so annoying, it���s like the “grunge question’ of classical musicians…”

“Okay, I get it.” he smiles. “But that’s not what I was about to ask.”

“Thank God. So, I guess you don’t want me to teach you reading sheet music either, because that’s usually the second question, which is usually asked by people with no musical hearing at all...”

“No, it’s more of a… personal one.” he hesitates squinting at me for the final permission.

“Hit me.”

“Why are you here?”

“Here? Like, here and now, with you or…?”

“No, I mean, why are you here, with the band? You graduated from one of the most prestigious music schools on Earth, you could conduct top choirs or whatever… and you’re here, loading our shitty van every single night, smelling sweat and cigarette smoke, spending days in a tour bus with beer drinking ugly dudes… Why? I guess Juilliard graduates can pick whatever job offer they want so...”

“I’m here for the money.” I answer without thinking and it immediately sounds false. Am I? Really? “I came here for the money, I don’t deny it, I had no job and however terrified I was, something told me I had to take this opportunity.”

“But… as a classical musician trained at Juilliard… why this job? I just can’t get it.”

“Well… I’ve known for a very long time that the music of baroque era is in which I’m the most interested. It’s, you know, a passion to me, it’s like punk was to you. And if you want to be really good at it, you have to go to the place where it comes from. Here in the States, you can basically hear nothing that was written before Mozart.”

“Europe?”

“Exactly. So in my senior year, I applied for a scholarship of the music academy in Leipzig.”

“And…?”

“And I won it.”

“So you studied in Europe too?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because my father died a few months before I graduated and the small firm he ran died with him… it was a very complicated period so I asked the academy if I could postpone it by one year.”

He’s chewing his lower lip and speaks up only after digesting for a few seconds what he’s just heard.

“And they refused your application?”

“No, they sent me a kind acceptation letter in which they cited their scholarship regulation that said postponement is allowed once. So I moved back to Seattle and started teaching.”

“Oh. I guess something came up one year later too.”

“Well yeah, my sister’s almost dying, that came up.”

He exhales with a deep sigh, I have the feeling he already knew all the details, he just couldn’t do the math. Maybe Karrie told him our family saga. I don’t mind, though, I don’t feel like telling him those stories either…

“Well, that’s a lot… but it also sounds like… you gave up your dreams.”

Now it’s me who can’t do anything else but shrug.

“Maybe… or maybe, it was just a warning from the universe. I’m not religious but I do believe that everything happens with a reason, maybe you can’t find it out ever because it’s something bigger than you or your shitty little life. My family needed me and they still do, or at least they need my two hands I can make money with so… plus, I’ve always been terrified of performing. I have worst stage fright, I doubt I would be able to conduct in the spotlight of the world’s biggest concert halls… anyways… have you ever heard about famous, female conductors?”

“Normally, I’d say you’re a coward and you should follow your dreams but I understand the family factor, of course. And I don’t want to act like a hypocrite either, I could have looked for another graphic design program too when mine was canceled in Missula.”

“But changed your dream instead.”

“Exactly. And maybe that’s what you should do too if universe or God or Buddha or the spirit of Johann Sebastian Bach is trying to message you that you picked the wrong dream.”

“Are you trying to say I should switch my brain to believe loading shitty vans and smelling Scully’s and Schmitty’s stinky feet is my real dream?” I giggle.

“If that’s your way, than go for it, girl!” he plays the overly enthusiastic motivational trainer. We crack up but none of us is laughing heartfelt. His face finds finally rest in a genuine, encouraging smile. “Let’s raise our glasses to the new dreams!”

We both reach our hands to clink our imaginary glasses.

“To the new dreams!”

***

I’ve been on the road with them for days and nothing. Not a single move or a sound that’d confirm we’re following the right traces. And I’m thirsty. So thirsty. But they are so envious, I know they are hiding spare water in their stupid spacesuits or what but they claim they have nothing to share. Sure. I would never drink recycled pee, anyway. But those two moons look pretty cool, the night sky compensates me for every inconvenience I’ve experienced since we started chasing that gross sandworm… everything for the melange…

However important my mission is, it gets interrupted by three quick, impatient knocks on the door.

“You’ve been shitting in there for forty-two minutes! I know you’ve finished and you’re just reading! I have to pee! Get the fuck out of there! Why do you have to do this all the time?”

Maybe because this is the only place where I can have some progress with my current reading undisturbed? I reluctantly close the hardcover volume of Frank Herbert’s Dune and glance lazily at my wristwatch.

“First of all, it’s been only forty minutes. Second, it’s shorter than a blink of an eye, if you measure it in cosmic time. Not even applicable.”

“Okay, I can use astronomical metaphors too. My bladder is a red giant that is about to explode so…”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, geez, urinary incontinence? You should see a urologist.” I remark opening the door. He basically tosses me out of is his way and almost slams it on my nose.

“It’s rather you who should see a doctor, fuck, Stone, what did you eat? Uuugh, I’m dying.” I hear his muffled indignation.

I lie down on my bed and stuff the pillow under my nape. I turn the pages back and forth for a few times until find the place where I was before Mike kicked me out. So, back to those goddamn pervert Fremen fuckers…

I barely manage to read a few lines, when Mike comes back and throws himself on his bed, unmuting the TV that is showing underdressed ladies caressing their own body and telling their erotic fantasies in seductive voice. I clear my throat. No reaction. I do it again, this time longer and louder. Nothing.

“Sorry, am I bothering?” I ask sharply but our guitarist seems to be completely immersed in the curves. “Okay, busted. I know you only went to the toilet to jerk off. You only watch Playboy TV and noname porn channels, you really need to get laid.”

“Done, last night. Remember?” he answers slowly and mindlessly, his eyes are still glued to the screen.

“No, because I wasn’t there, thank God.”

“You’re just envious because you have to practice celibacy, otherwise Amber would cut your balls off.”

I squint at the girls over my book.

“Not that I feel tempted. Jesus, I’m sick of these… udders…”

“Hey, watch your mouth! Those ladies deserve more respect! Especially her!” he points at the blonde, blue-eyed, busty woman on the screen who is dropping her lingerie standing at a bath tub.

“Why, who is she?” I look back at the text in front of me, not that I understand a word of it. Since I receive no answer I turn my head towards Mike only to see he sat up in the meantime and stares at me offended. “What? I have no idea.”

“That’s Shannon Tweed!!!” he flails outraged.

“… who is…?”

“Who is a goddess, Playmate of the Year in 1982 and last but not least, the girlfriend of Gene Simmons!”

“Oh. So she’s old as dirt.” I summarize laconically.

“Stone, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with big boobs? I thought you liked them… I mean, you are the guy who’s entitled to do anything with Seattle’s most spectacular pair of bosoms so…”

“Hey, you’re talking about my girlfriend!” I grunt.

“I’m talking about your girlfriend’s tits!”

“Exactly, that’s it! Don’t talk about my girlfriend’s tits! Anyway, how do you know what they look like?”

“Hey, first, I’m only talking about them. It’s called freedom of speech, First Amendment…”

“What the fuck, parts of the Constitution are printed now on beer tags or did I miss something?”

“…second, it is very difficult not to know what they look like, they basically poke your eyes out!”

“Only talking, ‘course.”

“Certain female anatomical features attract men’s eyes, it’s in our genetic code. Don’t even try to make me believe those features had nothing to do with you ending up with her. Wait!” he exclaims with a finger snapping. “Oh, I get it already. You miss her! That’s why you can’t stand the playmates on TV! But you could have said, it’s not a shame…”

“Dr. ‘Cready, expert of constitutional law and anatomy, psychotherapist. I’ve just said I don’t feel tempted…”

“Because those boobs” he points at the screen “are forbidden fruit and remind you of those boobs in Seattle.”

“You’re pointing in the wrong direction, Michael. You’re pointing at boobs in Indiana.”

“Whatever. You miss her, admit it. My boobies are over the ocean, my boobies are over the sea…”

“Stop!”

“My boobies are over the ocean so bring back my boobies to me…”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“BRING BAAACK, BRING BAAACK, BRING BACK MY BOOBIES TO ME, TO MEEEE!”

“I’m only saying that even huge breasts can be boring after a while.” I overshout his off-key singing.

Mike suddenly stops singing and just blinks at me completely frozen.

“You mean… you want to leave Amber?”

“Jesus, what did I do to deserve this?” I bury my face in my hands. “I mean… imagine your favorite food!”

“But that’s… risotto…?”

“Perfect!”

“But risotto doesn’t look like boobs!”

“Jesus, of course not, just imagine it!”

“Okay. Mmmh, it looks delicious. I can even feel its smell.” he moans with closed eyes.

“So you want to eat risotto now, right?”

“Oh yeah, I want it more than anything.”

“And if you could… or had to eat risotto every single day, would you feel the same?”

“Uhm, probably… not.” he opens his eyes.

“And here we are. If you’re in the position where you can play with huge breasts every day, it’s not such a big deal anymore.”

“Hm, makes sense…” he lies back. “But wait!” he sits up quickly again.

“What?”

“In that case, risotto wouldn’t be my favorite food anymore.”

“Yeah, probably…”

Congrats Sherlock. I drop my book on the nightstand, by now, I basically gave up all hope for finishing the chapter I was reading.

“But that means that you prefer small boobs now!”

“I didn’t say that but obviously, smaller tits have their appeal too. And there are girls who would look ridiculous with big breasts.”

My mind begins to wander involuntarily… Yeah, Amber is a bombshell and she drives me crazy whenever she’s around but I’ve always had a thing for more fragile looking girls…

“Who are you thinking about?” Mike asks greedily like a curious puppy.

“Jesus, no one.” I scoff frowning. “I mean, very slim girls look better with… proportionate breasts, you know, like small apples…”

I catch myself cupping my hands, what the hell, am I honking imaginable tits in the air? Okay, I have to talk to Eric to fly Amber here, I’m going to put an end to this, I’m pathetic.

“Say an example!”

What? I don’t know whom I was thinking about, I don’t even know if I was thinking about an existing person, maybe I was just fantasizing about freaky phantom breasts, I couldn’t even see them, it was just a desirable cleavage… and round hips… and shapely thighs…

“I can’t!”

“Just say an example, I don’t know, someone famous who looks like that, or someone who we both know…”

“Kylie Minogue?” I groan in agony. Hopefully I satisfied Mike’s need for a new protagonist for his erotic dreams because he only nods with an appreciative pout.

The ringing of the phone on the bedside between us interrupts our intellectual conversation and we both stare at the device surprised and confused for a few seconds, it’s usually us who call family members and friends, not the other way around. Finally, I decide to pick up.

“It’s Stone.”

“…” No one answers but I can hear some indistinct noises coming from the other end of the line.

“Hello… who’s that? Wo am I talking to?” I ask, and Mike pulls closer to the speaker of the receiver too.

“Ah… excuse me… I must have dialed the wrong number… you’re obviously not the Notre Dame Hunchbach…” an old female voice answers.

What the hell? Is this a prank call? Old people make phone pranks too?

“Who?” I mouth to Mike who mouths “Judy” as a response. Ah, yes. She also chose a codename, not that anyone is interested in her. “You’re talking to Dr. Hugh Jeego, but who am I talking to?”

“Ah, you must be Mr. Gossard. I’m Mrs. Albertson, Judy’s grandma.”

I almost drop the receiver.

“Ugh�� uhm… hi, Mrs. Albertson, it’s nice to meet you… I mean, even if not in person but… I guess you wanted to call Judy so…” I make an attempt to finish this awkward intermezzo but she cuts me off.

“Actually, I am glad that I can talk with my Judy’s new colleague, this job is so different in comparison to what she worked earlier, you know, she taught in a school…”

“Yeah, I know…”

“…and now she’s with a rock band, and there are so many rumors about musicians, they drink and do drugs and…”

“We… we don’t drink… that much… not before shows…” I answer and Mike nods approvingly opening a beer can with a loud fizz. “… and we prefer herbs…”

“And mushrooms…” Mike adds.

“Shut up, you ruin everything!” I hiss between my teeth while I cover the microphone with my palm.

“Who was that?”

“It was… it was Mike, our lead guitarist.”

“Ah, Mr. McCready!”

Mike pats his chest proudly.

“Exactly, Mr. McCready…” I flip him the bird.

“I hope my Judy takes care of herself, she tends to become obsessed with work, she even forgets to eat… does she eat properly?”

“I’ve… I’ve seen her eating… so I guess she does…” I try to reassure her but I’m afraid I don’t sound very convincing; after all, the eating habits of Miss Smarty Pants don’t belong to my main interests.

“I wish she ate more, she’s so skinny, isn’t she?”

“She is… I mean, she’s slim. But like… not too slim. Her body is proportionate… I mean, physically, anatomically… her shape is feminine…  and when I say “feminine” I mean she’s not malnourished…” I babble and the small apple tits appear in front of my eyes again, Jesus, I’ve started losing my sanity… For some reason, Mike feels necessary to grab the receiver and yell a gratuitous, cheesy tirade into it.

“My learned colleague is trying to say that she’s a very pretty young lady, with all the respect, of course. She’s the most virtuous girl I know, she behaves well, you can be proud of her, Mrs. Albertson.”

Yes, Mrs. Albertson, exactly, your grandchild behaves well, she brought condoms only enough for a whole fuckin’ football team, safety first… I snatch the receiver out of Mike’s hand and lift it back to my ear but before I could finally get rid of the old lady, the TV catches my attention. While we were listening to the phone call, the harmless playmate fantasies ended and the channel started airing hardcore porn. And either was the petting part very short or it didn’t even exist since the “characters” are pretty much in the middle of things and before we could react anything to avoid the disaster, the actress starts screaming rhythmically.

“What was that noise? Are women with you too?” the old woman inquires suspiciously.

“Turn down the volume, for fuck’s sake!!!” I scream-whisper to Mike.

“No, we’re alone, Mrs. Albertson… we’re just watching TV… Murder She Wrote, someone is being killed!” Mike improvises aggressively poking the remote. “It’s not working…” he groans with a miserable expression.

“Oh, I like that show… which episode? Maybe I turn on the TV to watch it too...”

If you knew… In the meantime the man starts moaning too so the obvious noises grow even louder.

“Oh, the murderer is being killed too!” I try to win some time for Mike, I admit, it wasn’t the most creative lie I’ve ever said…

“I’m saying it’s not working, it must be contact failure or low battery…” he explains beating the remote against his palm at full strength, creating a counterpart to the sound of the bodies snapping against each other on the screen.

“It’s the episode about the slasher.” I maintain the conversation and then address Mike again. “Then use the power button on the TV device or throw it the fuck out of the window, I don’t care, just do something!!!”

“Ah, great idea!” his face lights up and finally, he walks to the TV and turns it off. I swear, I thought for a second he was going to choose the window version, like Keith Moon. I’m sure he was considering it but found the box too heavy.

“It’s over…“ I transmit to Mrs. Albertson.

“It ended with a cliffhanger, what a shame…” Mike remarks and I can barely suppress my snorts.

“I hope for a happy ending…” I grin, Mike presses his pillow against his face, while the poor lady obviously doesn’t even know what to say. After a few seconds of silent, body-shaking laughter, he rearranges his face muscles and takes the receiver away from me.

“It was a pleasure to meet to you, Mrs. Albertson. Judy is a great girl and as far as we know, Effie too, please, hug her for us. I hope we can meet you in person too, when we get back.”

“I admit, I’m relieved, I want you to know I think you are just darling guys. And now, I call the Notre Dame Hunchbach, as I intended to. Goodnight, Mr. Gossard, Mr. McCready.”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Albertson.” we sing in unison.

After I hang up the phone, we stare at each other silently for long moments, before we burst out laughing hysterically.

***

Great. She’s late. She promised she’d be waiting for me at the bar counter at 9 p.m. I’m doing the third circle in this goddamn place and she’s nowhere to be found. Okay, RCKNDY is actually my favorite place and I was happy when Krisha offered to meet me here to unveil Kelly’s and Susan’s “great idea” about which I only know at this moment that it concerns my photos. The cigarette smoke irritates my throat and some unknown band is in the middle of sound check on the stage, the indistinct guitar noises and the female lead singer’s instructions blast at random moments from the speakers causing me mild heart attack every single time and making the crowd members overyell them. Despite the early hour, the place is packed; I can barely struggle through the mass of flannel-wearing guys and girls. Early hour… what am I talking… now that my lifestyle converges on clinical death, both metaphorically and literally, I usually spend my evenings in front of the TV wearing my pajamas. It’s good Krisha picked this day, Mom is working at that new side job again so I didn’t have to make anything up to prevent her from asking suspicious questions.

I visited the restroom to kill some time but it just made me frustrated all the more since I involuntarily became the audience of a bunch of girls, one of them was gushing about the kissing skills of her current crush… gah, I can’t believe I turned into this sour bitch, just because I’ll end up as a spinster, she’s entitled to have some fun…

Almost fifteen minutes have passed by and she still hasn’t shown up yet. I can’t hang out with Victor either, he’s helping with putting the finishing touches at the sound check. I guess I have to wait then. I pick a bar stool and try to decipher the list of beverages on the wall.

“What can I get for you?” a red-haired bartender girl asks. Her question catches me off-guard, since my good old answer “beer” hasn’t been an option for a while and I didn’t have enough time to consider the alternatives. She’s chewing gum with a bored face, reminding me of a ruminant… a hot ruminant.

“Uhm… I… ugh, I haven’t…” I jabber and she reacts with an impatient eyeroll, the countless bracelets are clinking around her wrist as she runs her fingers through her red mane.

“I’d like to have a virgin mojito.” I utter the first thing that comes to mind. She acknowledges my choice with a scornful scoff… Yeah, in case I haven’t felt embarrassed enough yet, she makes obvious that she’s the sexy and cool femme fatale and I’m a straight-edge cripple in a boring, worn, brown jacket.

“Hey, here you are!” someone grabs my shoulders.

“Me? I’ve been waiting for you for like… hours?” I frown while Krisha settles down on the bar stool next to me and places her beer on the counter.

“Gosh, sorry!” her eyes pop as she checks her wristwatch. “I arrived too early and went to the executive office to meet a few friends.” she points at some people talking in front of a door that probably belongs to the office rooms. “That’s Alex, he runs this place, he’s a good friend of Stone, by the way. And that girl next to him works here too, she’s the girlfriend of Regan.”

I observe the girl she’s talking about, she has a nice, bright smile. Fantastic. Krisha knows everyone here… and I have no idea who these people are, and by the way, I’m nobody.

“Regan?” I furrow my eyebrows. “It’s a unique name, I swear I’ve heard it but I can’t place it…”

“He’s also an old friend of mine. And of Stone of course. You might know his name because he played in Malfunkshun with Andy. I mean Andy Wood.”

“Wood.” we say the name at once. “Of course I know his name, I didn’t grow up in a cave…” I explain, maybe in a sharper tone than intended.

“Oookay… “ she raises both hands defensively. “Actually, Regan almost became the drummer of Mother Love Bone, until they replaced him with Greg Gilmore. They made Stone fire him, I was thinking “okay, that’s it, he’s gonna hate us forever” but somehow, he managed to convince him by using logical reasons. If you ever want to fire a drummer, just call him because he’s your guy.” she nods meaningfully and takes a sip of her beer.

“Based on my sister’s opinion, drummers probably leave the band willingly, after having spent some time with him.” I remark dryly. “Thank you.” I reach for my drink and slide the money towards the phlegmatic redhead. I suppress a smile when I see her realizing with disappointed face that I spared the tip. What was she thinking, seriously?

“Oh yes, I forgot your sister and you sew Stone-shaped voodoo dolls in your spare time. By the way, Regan has played with a guy called Shawn for a few years, he’s a huge talent. The dude is a Prince-freak, which is somehow odd in a city where you can’t make a single step without stomping on a distortion pedal but he’s an awesome singer. AND they are planning to jam with Stone as soon as he gets back. I can give you the address of their rehearsal room in case you want to assassinate him…”

“No, thanks, I already know where he lives so…”

“Right!” she slaps herself in the forehead.

“Anyway, can I finally learn why we’re here?”

“Soon. We’re waiting for someone… I’m going to introduce you to someone… who has a job offer for you!”

“Wow… let me guess… healthcare branch has discovered me and they want me to be the face of some firm’s dialyzer portfolio?” I squint at her as I loudly slurp my cocktail.

“Damn, you nailed it!” she bangs her fist against the counter. “Anyway, I’m not going to tell you anything until she arrives, you need to be punished for the self-deprecating joke.”

“Spank me…” I mumble but my retort stays unnoticed since Krisha stares in an indefinite direction next to me sending an enthusiastic wave towards someone.

“Look, Jer is here too.” she points at the target of her smile and I follow her gaze only to recognize Jerry Cantrell… he’s wearing black jeans and a black leather jacket with a white tee.

“Wait… didn’t… didn’t you mention… I mean, you dated, didn’t you?” I ask confused, trying to form coherent sentences. It’s not going well.

“Yeah, we did.” she wiggles her eyebrows.

“But exes are supposed to hate each other…” I try not to turn around too obviously, so I remove a non-existing hair from the shoulder part of my jacket. While he’s slowly walking through the crowd, I notice he’s holding hands with a long, brown-haired girl. She has a perfect body and she’s probably completely aware of it since the tight leather pants highlight every curves of her. Sure, a 10/10 chick for a 10/10 guy, that’s how world has always worked… His hair is let down… I catch myself smiling, Dad insisted on calling him Rapunzel…

“It was just a summer fling and we realized after a few dates that we weren’t made for each other. So no one got hurt.” she shrugs. “Anyway, we share the building with the management of Alice in Chains so we knew we would run into each other all the time. The music scene of this city it’s like a big, incestuous family so…”

We both crack up.

“Oh no…” she sighs annoyed, staring over me again. I don’t know what’s going on in her head but it must have to do something with another twenty-eight people I’ve never met. “DON’T TURN AROUND!” she yells at me when I try to check the cause of her reaction.

“Why, what’s…?”

“It’s too late, I guess she’s already noticed us… or hasn’t she? Bow your head…” she leans on the counter, letting her hair cover her face.

“What the fuck?”

“I said bow your head… avoid eye contact… shit, I don’t have the nerves for this right now…”

“Krisha? Oh my god, it’s you, I haven’t seen you for ages!” I hear a powerful female voice from behind my back.

“Oh, hi Amber, it’s nice to see you!” Krisha groans with a painful smile, lifting her head and letting herself be pulled in a half-embrace resigned. I have to bite my lips to prevent myself from giggling since she sends a cross-eyed grimace to me over the girl’s shoulder. So she must be Stone’s Amber.

“Hey, are you here with your little friend?”

And that must be me. I involuntarily straighten up as much as I can but despite the high bar stool, I’m still shorter than her in her heels. I wonder if Red peed into these ones too… Now that I’m checking her out properly, I realize somehow she doesn’t belong here. Mini dress, heels, perfect makeup… That’d be Stone’s type?

“Uhm, this is Effie, she’s the sister of the band’s new monitor engineer…”

“Ah, Julie, you see, I know everything…” she knocks on his temple with her index finger a few times. “I’m Stoney’s girlfriend.” she grabs my hand and shakes it aggressively. I don’t correct her, I just exchange a quick look with Krisha, her eyes confirm that it wouldn’t make sense anyway.

“And… are you going to stay for the gig too?” Krisha nods towards the stage after a few moments of awkward silence.

“Oh, no, I’m going partying with my girls, I just checked in, I wanted to say hi to Alex and ask him for a favor. We’re organizing a grunge-themed fashion show and this place would be a perfect place for it.”

“A what?”

Krisha’s face radiates shock and disgust at the same time.

“You know, this grunge thing is blowing up, the firm is about to launch a collection, you know, flannel shirts, jackets, shorts with leggings, so we’re looking for a grungy place to present it…” she explains with huge hand moves. As she begins to explain the details of her brilliant idea, I get immediately distracted. Not only because my mind is desperately trying to ignore this nonsense but because I spot Leather Pants Chick at the same sport were Alex and his colleague were standing a few minutes ago. Only a few seconds pass by until her partner arrives too, he immediately pulls her closer by her hips as he leans against the wall… they engage into a make-out session without hesitation. Jerry digs his fingers into her hair and as things are getting more intense, his hands slowly wander along her back until they reach and firmly grab their destination…

I swear it wasn’t so hot in here when I arrived, I can feel my face is burning, I’m sweating like I was in hell… Yeah, being forced to watch a hot guy smooching with a girl who isn’t you but in exchange, is much prettier than you, that’s how I imagine the first circle of hell. I can barely peel myself out of my jacket, my elbow gets stuck when Amber grabs its sleeve. I’m still a little dazed-off and stare at her expressionlessly while I’m trying to pick up the threads of conversation.

“...exactly like this one, thrift clothes are so trendy now, where did you get this one?”

She shakes the sleeve of my jacket impatiently, making me realize that’s what she’s talking about. Should I tell her the truth? That it’s not from a thrift shop, that it’s original, that Judy and I pooled the money we earned at our summer jobs together and made an agreement about taking turns on wearing it six years ago?

“I can’t… can’t remember…” I manage an effortless answer.

“You have a great taste, we three should do a thrift store tour together.” she rants on.

“Totally.” Krisha tries to seem enthusiastic but she rather reminds me of a snarling serial killer.

“Okay, I have to go, oh my god, I’m late and I haven’t even talked to Alex. We could hang out in the city next week, call me, Krish! And bring your new friend too!” she winks at me. “See you, later girls!” she finally leaves us alone, the quick tapping of heels echoes in my head even after she has disappeared behind the office door. Krisha grabs her glass and drinks its content for one sip.

“Ah, I feel much better now.” she sighs. “I’m afraid my phone is about to die. I may not be able to make phone calls for a while.”

I snort into my drink.

“I must say, she’s not the girl I’d imagine as Stone’s girlfriend.”

“Trust me, she’s not the girl whom anyone would imagine as his girlfriend. But seeing them together is always like a free circus ticket, it’s pretty funny, especially when you have coke and popcorn too.”

“Sooo… where’s the mysterious person who we’re waiting for?” I look around, although I have no clue what physical characteristics I should look for, I don’t even know if we’re talking about a man or a woman. As my gaze slowly wanders around the room, I admit to myself unwillingly, that I exactly know what I’m looking for. Long, blonde hair, black leather jacket and a white shirt. The realization makes me blush, I feel like in those good old high school days, trying to casually encounter my current crush who doesn’t even know I exist. Why am I like this all the time? Why? I’m such an idiot…

“Okay, I check Alex’s office, maybe we misunderstood each other and she went in without me noticing her. And I’m sure Alex needs some spiritual support too, the recovery will be tough for him. Do you wanna come?”

“No, I… I’d rather wait here.” I answer quickly, flushing, I’m stupid, stupid, stupid… “So it’s a she?” I shout after Krisha but she just waves me off laughing.

So… what was I thinking? I could have join her and meet her cool friends but I chose to drink here alone, not that I don’t feel lonely enough. And I ran out of drink in the meantime too… I want to procrastinate the next round until the other, friendlier bartender shows up again but unfortunately, the red-haired demon spots my empty glass and elbows on the counter opposite me with a challenging, patronizing smile.

“May I bring you a next lemonade?”

I’m about to snap back but a pleasant male voice over my head makes me change my mind.

“One more of this, whatever it is. And the lady is my guest.”

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 52)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:4918

Warnings: Language, Jealous Tony, uncontrollable powers, dangerous situation, arguing, Tony done fucked up, unwarranted action, talk of the past, Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few days have passed and the closer they were to completely removing the powers from Shannon, the weaker she got. At some point it had been too much that she could no longer stay awake long enough to do much.  She and Bruce had rescheduled the garden walks for when she had more strength. Tony had been seen around the mansion more often but each time it seemed as though Bruce was always around to keep Shannon company. He knew he would eventually have to confront Bruce about his feelings towards his wife.

Bruce would frequent the room to check up on both women then it was noticeable that the real person he went to see was Shannon rather. He would often sit next to her and read to her or just stayed and chat. You personally didn’t mind that he was here so often, you just hoped that he wouldn’t get too attached because after all Shannon is a married woman.

On one of those days that he had come to visit her, they had been sharing the bed and you had been sleeping off the exhaustion from the recent transfusion. Tony walked in holding a tray of her favorite food when he found the two all snuggled in the small bed. Shannon had her eyes closed leaning her head on his chest as he massaged her head and read one of her favorite books.

“What the hell is going on here?” He dropped the tray harshly on the table near the door. “You two are looking extremely fucking cozy.”

“Tony, relax and lower your voice. You’ll wake up Y/N,” Bruce said as he pointed over to you curled up to your pillow. “Shannon wanted me to read to her.”

Shannon was listening to them argue and had had enough of it. She opened her eyes.

“Please. Can you two not start right now? I'm exhausted and I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t fight while Y/N is sleeping.” She attempted to move and Bruce helped her, adding a few more pillows around her. “I’ll leave. You two to talk.” He smoothed her hair back. “I’ll go check on the tests we did today give me a shout if you need me.”

“No need, Mr. Nurse, I'll be here.” Tony remarks as the other man leaves. “Care to explain what the fuck is going on here?”

“Would you lower your damn voice, Stark! My head is pounding.” She rubbed her temple. “He’s just been keeping a close eye on me.”

“Maybe a little too close, wouldn’t you say?” he snapped, his eyes hard on hers. “Keeping an eye on you? Seriously, Shan? Does he cuddle Y/N too? Either he’s being professional or he’s not, and curling up in bed with you goes way beyond being a helper.”

“I asked him to sit next to me so that he wouldn’t have to raise his voice.” she shook her head. “What’s gotten into you lately? it’s like you are  being a child.”

“I’m the child?” he asked, fuming, pointing to himself. “You’re the one flouting around with Banner! We just got married, Shannon. Does that mean nothing to you? How the fuck would you feel if you saw me cuddled up to Pepper on our couch and my response was, ‘Oh, sorry, hun, she had a headache and I wanted to keep an eye on her.’?”

“Oh you wanna talk about cuddling up to other people?! Okay fine. How about the times I've seen you getting real cozy with Pepper back at the office? Or during one of your famous parties and you’ve taken countless women back to the room?” Shannon growled back getting mad that he’s getting upset over nothing important. “Yes I did get married to you and it means more than you think, Stark but if you think that for a second you're gonna get to act like this then you’ve got something else coming your way.” the lights slowly dimmed and her hand was shaking

“I’ve never been unfaithful to you, ever. Pepper is a good worker and a close friend, you know this. Those women and parties were long before you and I even had our first date. How can you tell me I can’t get mad? My best friend is lying in bed with my wife! You’ve barely looked at me or talked to me since you’ve been admitted to the mansion for these treatments. But every time I turn around, you’re with Bruce. What the hell else am I supposed to think, Shannon?”

“You only recently started showing up and that was after you found out I was sick! Half the time you're here, you're somewhere else doing who knows what.” she crosses her arms to hide her shaking hands. “I can’t just get out of bed and go find you and drag you back here.” there was a light buzz of the electrical system. “The only people who even stay long enough for me to spend time with are Bruce, Wade, and Remy and half of the time he’s here for Y/N. For Christ sake even Logan, who doesn’t always like to talk, would come see me.” By then her anger was growing and she had no idea where it was headed.

Tony stopped for a moment, trying to reel his anger in. “I can’t fucking believe this. I’m getting attacked after I found you in bed with another guy. This is fucking backwards.” He rubbed his forehead, shutting his eyes tight. “I’m here for you, Shannon! I always am! Every time I come here, it’s to see you. Sorry if i have an obligation to do some work while I'm here too, but I do.”

“What’s fucking backwards is that my husband is acting like a fucking asshole and treating me like I’m sleeping with someone else!” Her powers helped her get up and her eyes had gone red and she had no control of her powers. “What work could you possibly be doing that's been taking up your time.” she dared him to say something else to push her buttons. “So don’t you come in here acting like the victim.”

“Fine. Fuck it. Have it your way. You and Banner can cozy up all you want. I’m out of here.” He started to grab his things, ready to leave. He saw that she was beyond control and maybe it was actually best he leave.

The door slams shut cutting him off from leaving. “You are not about to run off after starting this!” her voice booms.

All anger vanished at her voice and the sight of the door. “Shannon,” he started carefully. “Let’s just let this go. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret,” he warned. The fight was officially over. It was time for him to go into survival mode. He didn’t have a suit on or near him, and the only person who could save him, was you, who was somehow miraculously sleeping through this entire ordeal.

“Aww does the Great Tony Stark feel helpless now?” the lights flickered harder. She was losing control of her powers.

At the sound of the door slamming and loud voices, you woke up. Your eyes snapped open and you heard Shannon. You immediately jumped out of bed, adrenaline charging you. Shannon was standing while Tony seemed to be shrinking away from his wife. You immediately moved to stand in front of Tony, your hand out.

“Shannon,” you began softly. “Whatever’s going on, you need to fight it,” you encouraged. “Your powers have taken over and you’re about to hurt your husband, Tony, whom you love very much,” you reminded soothingly.

“Why are you defending him!” She got angrier. “He’s acting like I’ve betrayed him. I've done nothing wrong.” She felt like she was fighting really hard to take back control. There was a look of confusion on her face. It's like there was something wrong.

You narrowed your eyes before glancing at the door, using your power to open it.

“Tony, go get Logan, now,” you ordered quickly before whipping your face back to Shannon’s. Tony ran out into the hall, shouting for Logan.

“Y/N, you know i’d never do anything to hurt him.” She groans. “I can’t control my powers.” she managed to grunt out. “This is your doing Tony!” she said as the two entered the room.

Logan ran back into the bedroom, with Tony in tow.

“Jesus, Shan,” Logan remarked.

“Grab her,” you instructed. You threw your powers out, wrapping around her, electrifying her for just a second, just enough to throw her off guard. Long enough that Logan could grab her. He lurched forward, grabbing her in a bear hug, toppling over with her on the bed. You ran over, put your hand on her head, and again, robbed her of all of her senses. When she finally stopped writhing in Logan’s grasp, you let go. She seemed to go to sleep, which wasn’t what you were doing to her. “Logan?” you asked, peering at him, wondering if he’d somehow accidentally hurt her.

“Wasn’t me,” he assured as he got up, letting her go.

Shannon lied, motionless on the bed. Her eyes closed. She’d passed out, possibly, her powers over taking her.

“Shit,” you breathed, terrified you’d hurt her somehow. “Someone go get Hank,” you ordered, your voice shaking.

Logan ran off to go find Hank and came back a few moments later.

“What happened here?” Hank asked as he noticed that some of the lights were busted.

“We had an argument and then something went wrong it’s like her powers went haywire.” Tony said. He walked over to where she was.

“Well it looks like what Charles and I had predicted, we predicted her powers would try to control her once more and it caused her to enter into a comatose state.” He moved to set the monitors into a new setting to watch for any changes in her during her new state.

“She’s what?” Tony looked up. “That can’t be true, right? Tell me it’s not true!” He looked exasperated. He had been the reason that she entered this phase and it was going to kill him if she didn’t come back.

----------------------------

Shannon was now in her comatose state next to you. The only light in the room was the moonlight. You’d been lying on your bed for hours, staring straight up as Remy lay beside you. You’d already explained that Shannon and Tony got in a fight, causing her powers to finally take full control and shut her down physically. You told him you were worried it was your fault, even though Hank had assured you a million times it was her powers that did it.

“You okay?” he suddenly asked.  

“Not exactly,” you admitted with a sigh.

“Well, physically though. Between the session from today and having to use your powers on Shannon yesterday...” he said.

You shrugged. “I’m a little weak.”

“What got them fighting anyhow? Tony and Loki?” he questioned, curious. It’d been a day, but Remy’d heard about the fight between Loki and Tony. He decided to give you some space, seeing as within 24 hours your boyfriend was fighting your best friend’s husband, and you had to use your powers to basically deactivate her. Now she was comatose.

You bit your lip, thinking if you wanted to confide in Remy what the fight was actually about.

“They were… Loki’s jealous of you,” you blurted out.

He made a noise of disappointment. “I don’t like speakin’ out of turn, chere, but he ain’t no good for you.”

“Remy,” you moaned, exasperated. “Don’t do this. Not now, please.”

“Well when the hell should I do it?” he challenged, his voice more stern than normal. “When you’re married to that maniac?”

Your eyes glowed purple. “Don’t,” you begged through clenched teeth.

“Y/N/N, what can he possibly give you?” he asked, a pleading in his tone.

“A life,” you answered, turning your head towards him.

His face was still soft as he peered at you. “What kinda life is this? This is an idea of a life. This ain’t no real life.”

“I love him, okay? We’ve been through everything together. He understands me.”

“And you think I don’t?” he asked as if he were offended. “Both of us orphaned. Both of us have got this odd power in us. Both of us don’t really belong anywhere. Come on, you know you love travelin’, that’s why you’re always doin’ your science out in the field. We’re both nomads.”

You shook your head, turning away from him.

“I can’t do this, I love him,” you said in return, your voice thick. You flung your legs off the side of the bed and tried to get up and leave the room. You only made it to the doorway when Remy’s voice caught you.

“Look at what he’s doin’ to you, darlin’. Every time he is around, there’s a fight. Shannon’s wedding, here, New York… Confrontation follows that guy like a shadow. Life with him has not been easy, and it ain’t gonna never get any better,” he stated, begging in his voice.

“You don’t understand, alright? I love him. I nearly died for him.”

“Well maybe that’s what’s wrong. You’ve done all this for him. What’s he done for you?” he asked.

“He’s done more for me than I can ever repay,” you assured, your voice ominous, and Remy had no choice but to believe you.

“Is that all you want your relationship to be? ‘I owe him this’, ‘She owes me that’, ‘I owe him my life’.”

“Don’t cheapen the situation,” you ordered. “Loki didn’t trick me or ask me to do anything. Everything I’ve done, every choice I’ve made was on me.”

“And what about now? I understand before, but now. You’re not in jail any more together, you don’t have to be together.”

“But I want to be,” you insisted.

“Really? Because when we were dancin’ earlier, I felt the spark. You can lie and say you didn’t feel it too, but I know you did.”

"Why now? Why are you telling me this now? You have had years."

He frowned at you incredulously, as if you'd lost your mind. "Years? When exactly was I supposed to tell you? When we were kids and you were about to leave for college and I couldn't follow you there? Or how about when you graduated and went all over the world for research. Or maybe when you skipped out on the entire planet to go play Prince and Princess,  and wound up in prison. Tell me, when was I s'pose to tell you mah feelin's?"

You threw your hands out to the side, exasperated, shaking your head. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm in love with someone else and I can't change the past."

Without much warning, he closed the distance between you two and his lips were on yours in a warm embrace, his hands in your hair. The sensation hit you as if you'd been electrified. His energy and yours combined and for half a second, you forgot everything but Remy LeBeau - then suddenly you remembered Loki, and nothing but him. You shoved Remy away, only taking a split second to charge your fist.

You slammed your knuckles into his jaw and it nearly sent him to the floor.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" you demanded with rage, your fist still charged with purple energy.

While he was still bent over rubbing his jaw, he answered, “I was thinkin’ I’d change your mind. Shoulda seen that comin’,” he noted. He straightened up, his hand still touching his jaw. “You pulled your punch,” he remarked.

You crossed your arms. “Yeah and now I’m wishing I didn’t. Remy...I love Loki. You don’t get to do this to me. You’re my oldest friend.” All you could do was shake your head and walk off to your room, having nothing further to say to him. You laid on your bed, your chest tight as tears rolled down your cheeks.

------------------------------------

The following evening, Tony came up to visit Shannon. You were absorbed in a book. You’d still been healing Shannon even while comatosed, but now that she was unconscious all the time you had no friends. Remy kept his distance and you think word had gotten around the mansion and now no one spoke to you. You honestly thought they were being courteous and giving you room.

However, Loki hadn’t been back since the fight and this didn’t help your morale. No Loki, no Shannon, no Remy, no anyone.

Except Tony. He was here, looking like someone had taken the light out of his life. You eyed him up and down for a moment before finally getting the courage to ask, “Gotta long face, Tony… What’s up?”

Maybe it was the fact that Shannon was comatose and couldn’t talk to him. Maybe he was desperate. Maybe he was lonely, but for whatever reason, he opened up to you. “I put her here. And it’s not just fighting your pretty boy that did it.”

You frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“I pushed her away from you. You’re her best friend and here you were the one to fix her. I just… I didn’t trust you, Y/N/N. After New York, you were this different person. You were vivid, full of life, curious. Then you went up there, came back, and suddenly you’re trying to kill us for… him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.”

You pressed your lips into a firm line. “Did Shannon ever tell you what happened? While I was gone.”

“Other than you were brainwashed, no. Why, does it matter?”

“Depends on who you ask,” you noted with a bit of a humorless laugh. You put your book on the nightstand and looked back to him. “I met Loki here, on Earth. I was able to see him. This got Thor and Loki wondering if I was Asgardian. Well, we went there and sure enough, we found out my parents were Asgardian and Frigga started to raise me with Thor and Loki. I felt as if I belonged somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, Earth feels like home, but so does Asgard. Earth is what I know, what I grew up with, but Asgard has this familiarity to it. Like a childhood home.”

Tony sat there, listening.

“So here I am, I finally find out who my parents are, what race I am. Not to mention this magic I have. Then suddenly… Loki learns he’s adopted too, he’s not even Asgardian, well he’s half. He became consumed with rage. He’d been lied to. He’d been treated differently his whole life and now he knew why… In his fit of rage, Thor had to stop him from killing another race - the Frost Giants, his true race. When he did that, Loki ended up trying to commit suicide. Odin held onto him on the bridge, and Loki he… he just let go,” you recalled, the feeling bubbling back up inside you. “I’d gotten somewhat close to Loki. I’d cracked his hard outer shell a bit. And for some reason, that day, when I saw him falling, all I could think was ‘not him, I can’t live with out him.’ And I jumped after him. I mean, I was kind of raised with him, we were both lost people tied to Asgard, orphans - you know? There was this common ground.We had gotten to know each other very well in two months. I was completely in love.” A fond smile pulled at your lips as you remembered those easy days. “Shannon was the same way with you. I don’t know if she ever told you,” you stated.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“She didn’t care much for you, until she worked in your lab. She admired your work, and your mind, but it wasn’t until she worked with you every day that she really fell hard. She just kind of saw you for the persona you put on.”

Tony didn’t even argue the point you made. He knew that you knew him well enough to know he was mostly show, all a distraction for his insecurities and fears.

“But she saw you for this sensitive, sweet, intelligent guy. The same thing happened with Loki. He was this cold, rigid man. But once I got him to open up, he was the most romantic, caring man I’d ever met. He’d just been looked over all his life. No matter how hard he worked, no matter how many battles he won, no matter how many academic challenges he crushed, he never earned the praise of his people or his father.”

“Maybe we have more in common than I thought,” Tony muttered. “But why go through all that, for him? I mean, the brainwashing, torture, nearly killing the avengers and Shannon… All that for him?”

“It was never, ever our intention to kill any of you, let alone hurt you. We were sincerely hoping that we could at most turn Bruce into a wrecking machine that you would have to focus on. That was the best case scenario… But it didn’t happen.” You bit your lip. “Thanos said he would kill Loki if I failed… What would you have done? If it came to fighting Rhodey and your friends, to keep her alive?” you questioned, your tone slightly challenging.

Tony’s eyebrows slowly rose as he gazed at the floor.

“I was just trying to save him, save us, save our lives. We’d endured a year of suffering and torture… I didn’t want it to all be in vain. What would you have done?” you asked.

After several moments, he finally spoke up. Tony Stark being speechless was something you never thought you’d witness.

“Can’t say I’d have done much differently,” he agreed begrudgingly.

You gazed down at your hands, toying with your fingers.

“Tony, I still mean what I said years ago. You’re still one of my greatest friends, and you’ve always been great to Shannon. Don’t be so hard on yourself. She loves you more than anything. I wish we could go back to what we were,” you noted with a half grin. “I know we can’t but… I’d like to at least start over.”

A smile played at his lips. “Yeah, I’d like that too,” he stated. “But no starting over. Too much work and I don’t want to have to remember all your favorite things. Let’s just call it even and say it’s water under the bridge, yeah?”

A laugh escaped you. “Agreed.”

“I guess everyone is turning over a new leaf,” he commented, seeming amused.

“How so?”

“Well after Lokster and I went rounds, we went out for drinks.”

“Really?” you questioned, a skeptical laugh escaping you.

“Yeah.”

“How did that go? I miss him. Even though he’s an ass, I wish he’d come around.”

Tony winced. “Yeah, about that….”

You frowned. “What about it?”

“Remember that we’re friends again when I tell you this--”

“What?” you questioned, your eyes narrowing as you started to get off the bed. “What did you do, Tony?”

“He was feeling really… well homesick. I guess. He thought maybe he’d be better off just going back to Asgard and I said, ‘Well why don’t you?’”

“What!?” you all but shrieked. “Tony, why? How could you do that?’

He stood up to meet you at eye level. “Hear me out. Look, he misses his home. He thinks his dad will you know, go easy on him since he served a sentence out here. He confided some things to me and I thought maybe… Well… you just changed so much since you met. I just wonder if maybe you aren’t better off without him.”

“Better off without-- That is not your place to decide!” you yelled.

“I know.”

“How did he even leave? He was under probation here and you’ve got a travel restriction on him.”

“I may have lifted that so he could leave.”

“You did this on purpose!” you accused angrily.

“Y/N/N, listen to me,” he begged, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m just thinking of you here. Ever since you met him your life has been one train wreck after another. Did you ever wonder if maybe you two aren’t meant for each other? Maybe your lives would be easier apart. You want to live here on Earth, and he wants to be on Asgard.”

It seemed as if Shannon could feel strong emotions that her friend was feeling and that caused her to wake up. It’d been so long since she’d been awake but it's like she was perfectly fine.

“Y/N, what's wrong? Did Tony tell you something to piss you off?” She sat up looking from her best friend to her husband who she remembers she still had to finish talking with.  

“Babe, you're awake!” Tony exclaimed, rushing to her side to hold her hand. “Are you feeling okay? Do you need something to drink?”

“I’m fine, Tony. I'm more worried about Y/N. What did you tell her?”

“I told her that I gave Loki permission to leave New York and go back to his family on Asgard. I figured that he should get to go back, seeing as he missed his family.”

“Tony, what were you thinking?! He shouldn't have left, let alone by himself. They still had things to fix. You had no right to do that.”

"Shan, sweetie, you need to rest. I can take it from here. I'm going after Loki," you said defiantly as you started to grab clothes and a suitcase.

“Y/N, I can’t let you do that by yourself. The least I can do after everything you’ve done for me is go with you and help you sort out this problem.” She looked over at Tony, giving him a look. “As for you, we’re going to finish our conversation before I passed out when we come back.”

Tony looked away, knowing he was going to get an earful from her when she got back about everything that’s happened.

“Y/N, finish packing. I’ll go shower and get dressed really quick. Think you can pack my bag?”

"Of course," you said solemnly.

“You just woke up. I dont think it’s a good idea for you to be going to another planet just yet, babe.” He watched her get up and start heading for the bathroom.

“I know I probably shouldn’t be doing this but it needs to be done. Who knows how things will go when they talk? I need to be there in case of anything.” And with that, she walked into the bathroom. A little while later she was showered and dressed. Just then Bruce walked in to do his routine check on her.

“Shannon! You’re awake. You shouldn’t be up and walking around just yet.” He rushed to her to make sure she didn’t fall. “Where are you going?” He noticed the two packed bags.

“Y/N and I are going to go find Loki and have him come back to earth so those two to talk things out.”

“Where exactly are you going?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t too far

“Asgard,” she simply responded.

“No, Shannon! I can’t let you do that. Who knows how your body will react to you entering their planet.”

“I’ll be fine. If anything, the doctors over there can check me, plus my healing factor has been active this entire time so I’m okay.”

“I’d rather me or someone else go with you two just to make sure,” Bruce said, not seeing how Tony reacted to him saying that.

“Babe, he’s right you two shouldnt go, healing factor or not you are not at 100 just yet.”

“I am a grown ass woman I can go where I please and if you really want to come Bruce, I’m not stopping you. Just don’t think I’m going to do everything you say,” she called over her shoulder  as she grabbed her bag and both women headed out the door.

“Wait, let me grab some things and I’ll go with you both. Just to keep you girls safe.” He went to the room that was close by, no one had realized he had switched rooms to be closer to Shanon. “Alright, I've got everything, you want to lead the way?” He gestured to you to go ahead of them.

“On it,” you said confidently as you walked out of the mansion, far away from it, and out into the field behind it. Shannon and Bruce were just behind you, following you out.

Tony pulled Bruce back. “You better not dare try anything while you three are there, got it?” he warned the taller man. “Remember who she’s married to, Banner.”

“Relax, would you? As her doctor, I’m keeping it professional.” He walked away in hopes of ending the conversation there.

As soon as everyone made their way beside you, everyone’s luggage in hand, you took a deep breath. “Heimdall, open the bifrost, please,” you requested. It was so odd, you hadn’t been to Asgard since the fall. You wondered how it would feel returning to your ‘home.’

Heimdall opened the rift and within the blink of an eye, a rainbow shroud formed around you to take you away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876​ @magpiegirl80​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @iamwarrenspeace​ @marvel-imagines-yes-please​ @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification​ @thejemersoninferno​ @rda1989​ @munlis​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @bubblyanarocks3​​ @igiveupicantthinkofausername​​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @feelmyroarrrr​​ @kaelingoat-blog​ @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​ @damalseer​​ @heyitscam99​​ @yknott81​​ @sorryimacrapwriter​​ @glitterquadricorn​​ @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm​​ @alyssaj23​​ @sea040561​​ @princess76179​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​�� @sarahp879​​ @malfoysqueen14​​ @ellallheart​​ @breezy1415​​ @marvelmayo​​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles​ @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711​

Loki: @lostinspace33​​ @ultrarebelheart​​ @lenawiinchester​​ @esoltis280​​ @tngrayson​​ @wangdeasang​​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​​

UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Unforseen Chasm (Part 52)

Part 52 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 4918 Warnings: Language, Jealous Tony, uncontrollable powers, dangerous situation, arguing, Tony done fucked up, unwarranted action, talk of the past Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93​​ what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it

A few days have passed and the closer they were to completely removing the powers from Shannon, the weaker she got. At some point it had been too much that she could no longer stay awake long enough to do much.  She and Bruce had rescheduled the garden walks for when she had more strength. Tony had been seen around the mansion more often but each time it seemed as though Bruce was always around to keep Shannon company. He knew he would eventually have to confront Bruce about his feelings towards his wife.

Bruce would frequent the room to check up on both women then it was noticeable that the real person he went to see was Shannon rather. He would often sit next to her and read to her or just stayed and chat. You personally didn’t mind that he was here so often, you just hoped that he wouldn’t get too attached because after all Shannon is a married woman.

On one of those days that he had come to visit her, they had been sharing the bed and you had been sleeping off the exhaustion from the recent transfusion. Tony walked in holding a tray of her favorite food when he found the two all snuggled in the small bed. Shannon had her eyes closed leaning her head on his chest as he massaged her head and read one of her favorite books.

“What the hell is going on here?” He dropped the tray harshly on the table near the door. “You two are looking extremely fucking cozy.”

“Tony, relax and lower your voice. You’ll wake up Y/N,” Bruce said as he pointed over to you curled up to your pillow. “Shannon wanted me to read to her.”

Shannon was listening to them argue and had had enough of it. She opened her eyes.

“Please. Can you two not start right now? I'm exhausted and I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t fight while Y/N is sleeping.” She attempted to move and Bruce helped her, adding a few more pillows around her. “I’ll leave. You two to talk.” He smoothed her hair back. “I’ll go check on the tests we did today give me a shout if you need me.”

“No need, Mr. Nurse, I'll be here.” Tony remarks as the other man leaves. “Care to explain what the fuck is going on here?”

“Would you lower your damn voice, Stark! My head is pounding.” She rubbed her temple. “He’s just been keeping a close eye on me.”

“Maybe a little too close, wouldn’t you say?” he snapped, his eyes hard on hers. “Keeping an eye on you? Seriously, Shan? Does he cuddle Y/N too? Either he’s being professional or he’s not, and curling up in bed with you goes way beyond being a helper.”

“I asked him to sit next to me so that he wouldn’t have to raise his voice.” she shook her head. “What’s gotten into you lately? it’s like you are  being a child.”

“I’m the child?” he asked, fuming, pointing to himself. “You’re the one flouting around with Banner! We just got married, Shannon. Does that mean nothing to you? How the fuck would you feel if you saw me cuddled up to Pepper on our couch and my response was, ‘Oh, sorry, hun, she had a headache and I wanted to keep an eye on her.’?”

“Oh you wanna talk about cuddling up to other people?! Okay fine. How about the times I've seen you getting real cozy with Pepper back at the office? Or during one of your famous parties and you’ve taken countless women back to the room?” Shannon growled back getting mad that he’s getting upset over nothing important. “Yes I did get married to you and it means more than you think, Stark but if you think that for a second you're gonna get to act like this then you’ve got something else coming your way.” the lights slowly dimmed and her hand was shaking

“I’ve never been unfaithful to you, ever. Pepper is a good worker and a close friend, you know this. Those women and parties were long before you and I even had our first date. How can you tell me I can’t get mad? My best friend is lying in bed with my wife! You’ve barely looked at me or talked to me since you’ve been admitted to the mansion for these treatments. But every time I turn around, you’re with Bruce. What the hell else am I supposed to think, Shannon?”

“You only recently started showing up and that was after you found out I was sick! Half the time you're here, you're somewhere else doing who knows what.” she crosses her arms to hide her shaking hands. “I can’t just get out of bed and go find you and drag you back here.” there was a light buzz of the electrical system. “The only people who even stay long enough for me to spend time with are Bruce, Wade, and Remy and half of the time he’s here for Y/N. For Christ sake even Logan, who doesn’t always like to talk, would come see me.” By then her anger was growing and she had no idea where it was headed.

Tony stopped for a moment, trying to reel his anger in. “I can’t fucking believe this. I’m getting attacked after I found you in bed with another guy. This is fucking backwards.” He rubbed his forehead, shutting his eyes tight. “I’m here for you, Shannon! I always am! Every time I come here, it’s to see you. Sorry if i have an obligation to do some work while I'm here too, but I do.”

“What’s fucking backwards is that my husband is acting like a fucking asshole and treating me like I’m sleeping with someone else!” Her powers helped her get up and her eyes had gone red and she had no control of her powers. “What work could you possibly be doing that's been taking up your time.” she dared him to say something else to push her buttons. “So don’t you come in here acting like the victim.”

“Fine. Fuck it. Have it your way. You and Banner can cozy up all you want. I’m out of here.” He started to grab his things, ready to leave. He saw that she was beyond control and maybe it was actually best he leave.

The door slams shut cutting him off from leaving. “You are not about to run off after starting this!” her voice booms.

All anger vanished at her voice and the sight of the door. “Shannon,” he started carefully. “Let’s just let this go. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret,” he warned. The fight was officially over. It was time for him to go into survival mode. He didn’t have a suit on or near him, and the only person who could save him, was you, who was somehow miraculously sleeping through this entire ordeal.

“Aww does the Great Tony Stark feel helpless now?” the lights flickered harder. She was losing control of her powers.

At the sound of the door slamming and loud voices, you woke up. Your eyes snapped open and you heard Shannon. You immediately jumped out of bed, adrenaline charging you. Shannon was standing while Tony seemed to be shrinking away from his wife. You immediately moved to stand in front of Tony, your hand out.

“Shannon,” you began softly. “Whatever’s going on, you need to fight it,” you encouraged. “Your powers have taken over and you’re about to hurt your husband, Tony, whom you love very much,” you reminded soothingly.

“Why are you defending him!” She got angrier. “He’s acting like I’ve betrayed him. I've done nothing wrong.” She felt like she was fighting really hard to take back control. There was a look of confusion on her face. It's like there was something wrong.

You narrowed your eyes before glancing at the door, using your power to open it.

“Tony, go get Logan, now,” you ordered quickly before whipping your face back to Shannon’s. Tony ran out into the hall, shouting for Logan.

“Y/N, you know i’d never do anything to hurt him.” She groans. “I can’t control my powers.” she managed to grunt out. “This is your doing Tony!” she said as the two entered the room.

Logan ran back into the bedroom, with Tony in tow.

“Jesus, Shan,” Logan remarked.

“Grab her,” you instructed. You threw your powers out, wrapping around her, electrifying her for just a second, just enough to throw her off guard. Long enough that Logan could grab her. He lurched forward, grabbing her in a bear hug, toppling over with her on the bed. You ran over, put your hand on her head, and again, robbed her of all of her senses. When she finally stopped writhing in Logan’s grasp, you let go. She seemed to go to sleep, which wasn’t what you were doing to her. “Logan?” you asked, peering at him, wondering if he’d somehow accidentally hurt her.

“Wasn’t me,” he assured as he got up, letting her go.

Shannon lied, motionless on the bed. Her eyes closed. She’d passed out, possibly, her powers over taking her.

“Shit,” you breathed, terrified you’d hurt her somehow. “Someone go get Hank,” you ordered, your voice shaking.

Logan ran off to go find Hank and came back a few moments later.

“What happened here?” Hank asked as he noticed that some of the lights were busted.

“We had an argument and then something went wrong it’s like her powers went haywire.” Tony said. He walked over to where she was.

“Well it looks like what Charles and I had predicted, we predicted her powers would try to control her once more and it caused her to enter into a comatose state.” He moved to set the monitors into a new setting to watch for any changes in her during her new state.

“She’s what?” Tony looked up. “That can’t be true, right? Tell me it’s not true!” He looked exasperated. He had been the reason that she entered this phase and it was going to kill him if she didn’t come back.

----------------------------

Shannon was now in her comatose state next to you. The only light in the room was the moonlight. You’d been lying on your bed for hours, staring straight up as Remy lay beside you. You’d already explained that Shannon and Tony got in a fight, causing her powers to finally take full control and shut her down physically. You told him you were worried it was your fault, even though Hank had assured you a million times it was her powers that did it.

“You okay?” he suddenly asked.  

“Not exactly,” you admitted with a sigh.

“Well, physically though. Between the session from today and having to use your powers on Shannon yesterday...” he said.

You shrugged. “I’m a little weak.”

“What got them fighting anyhow? Tony and Loki?” he questioned, curious. It’d been a day, but Remy’d heard about the fight between Loki and Tony. He decided to give you some space, seeing as within 24 hours your boyfriend was fighting your best friend’s husband, and you had to use your powers to basically deactivate her. Now she was comatose.

You bit your lip, thinking if you wanted to confide in Remy what the fight was actually about.

“They were… Loki’s jealous of you,” you blurted out.

He made a noise of disappointment. “I don’t like speakin’ out of turn, chere, but he ain’t no good for you.”

“Remy,” you moaned, exasperated. “Don’t do this. Not now, please.”

“Well when the hell should I do it?” he challenged, his voice more stern than normal. “When you’re married to that maniac?”

Your eyes glowed purple. “Don’t,” you begged through clenched teeth.

“Y/N/N, what can he possibly give you?” he asked, a pleading in his tone.

“A life,” you answered, turning your head towards him.

His face was still soft as he peered at you. “What kinda life is this? This is an idea of a life. This ain’t no real life.”

“I love him, okay? We’ve been through everything together. He understands me.”

“And you think I don’t?” he asked as if he were offended. “Both of us orphaned. Both of us have got this odd power in us. Both of us don’t really belong anywhere. Come on, you know you love travelin’, that’s why you’re always doin’ your science out in the field. We’re both nomads.”

You shook your head, turning away from him.

“I can’t do this, I love him,” you said in return, your voice thick. You flung your legs off the side of the bed and tried to get up and leave the room. You only made it to the doorway when Remy’s voice caught you.

“Look at what he’s doin’ to you, darlin’. Every time he is around, there’s a fight. Shannon’s wedding, here, New York… Confrontation follows that guy like a shadow. Life with him has not been easy, and it ain’t gonna never get any better,” he stated, begging in his voice.

“You don’t understand, alright? I love him. I nearly died for him.”

“Well maybe that’s what’s wrong. You’ve done all this for him. What’s he done for you?” he asked.

“He’s done more for me than I can ever repay,” you assured, your voice ominous, and Remy had no choice but to believe you.

“Is that all you want your relationship to be? ‘I owe him this’, ‘She owes me that’, ‘I owe him my life’.”

“Don’t cheapen the situation,” you ordered. “Loki didn’t trick me or ask me to do anything. Everything I’ve done, every choice I’ve made was on me.”

“And what about now? I understand before, but now. You’re not in jail any more together, you don’t have to be together.”

“But I want to be,” you insisted.

“Really? Because when we were dancin’ earlier, I felt the spark. You can lie and say you didn’t feel it too, but I know you did.”

"Why now? Why are you telling me this now? You have had years."

He frowned at you incredulously, as if you'd lost your mind. "Years? When exactly was I supposed to tell you? When we were kids and you were about to leave for college and I couldn't follow you there? Or how about when you graduated and went all over the world for research. Or maybe when you skipped out on the entire planet to go play Prince and Princess,  and wound up in prison. Tell me, when was I s'pose to tell you mah feelin's?"

You threw your hands out to the side, exasperated, shaking your head. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm in love with someone else and I can't change the past."

Without much warning, he closed the distance between you two and his lips were on yours in a warm embrace, his hands in your hair. The sensation hit you as if you'd been electrified. His energy and yours combined and for half a second, you forgot everything but Remy LeBeau - then suddenly you remembered Loki, and nothing but him. You shoved Remy away, only taking a split second to charge your fist.

You slammed your knuckles into his jaw and it nearly sent him to the floor.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" you demanded with rage, your fist still charged with purple energy.

While he was still bent over rubbing his jaw, he answered, “I was thinkin’ I’d change your mind. Shoulda seen that comin’,” he noted. He straightened up, his hand still touching his jaw. “You pulled your punch,” he remarked.

You crossed your arms. “Yeah and now I’m wishing I didn’t. Remy...I love Loki. You don’t get to do this to me. You’re my oldest friend.” All you could do was shake your head and walk off to your room, having nothing further to say to him. You laid on your bed, your chest tight as tears rolled down your cheeks.

------------------------------------

The following evening, Tony came up to visit Shannon. You were absorbed in a book. You’d still been healing Shannon even while comatosed, but now that she was unconscious all the time you had no friends. Remy kept his distance and you think word had gotten around the mansion and now no one spoke to you. You honestly thought they were being courteous and giving you room.

However, Loki hadn’t been back since the fight and this didn’t help your morale. No Loki, no Shannon, no Remy, no anyone.

Except Tony. He was here, looking like someone had taken the light out of his life. You eyed him up and down for a moment before finally getting the courage to ask, “Gotta long face, Tony… What’s up?”

Maybe it was the fact that Shannon was comatose and couldn’t talk to him. Maybe he was desperate. Maybe he was lonely, but for whatever reason, he opened up to you. “I put her here. And it’s not just fighting your pretty boy that did it.”

You frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“I pushed her away from you. You’re her best friend and here you were the one to fix her. I just… I didn’t trust you, Y/N/N. After New York, you were this different person. You were vivid, full of life, curious. Then you went up there, came back, and suddenly you’re trying to kill us for… him. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I still can’t.”

You pressed your lips into a firm line. “Did Shannon ever tell you what happened? While I was gone.”

“Other than you were brainwashed, no. Why, does it matter?”

“Depends on who you ask,” you noted with a bit of a humorless laugh. You put your book on the nightstand and looked back to him. “I met Loki here, on Earth. I was able to see him. This got Thor and Loki wondering if I was Asgardian. Well, we went there and sure enough, we found out my parents were Asgardian and Frigga started to raise me with Thor and Loki. I felt as if I belonged somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, Earth feels like home, but so does Asgard. Earth is what I know, what I grew up with, but Asgard has this familiarity to it. Like a childhood home.”

Tony sat there, listening.

“So here I am, I finally find out who my parents are, what race I am. Not to mention this magic I have. Then suddenly… Loki learns he’s adopted too, he’s not even Asgardian, well he’s half. He became consumed with rage. He’d been lied to. He’d been treated differently his whole life and now he knew why… In his fit of rage, Thor had to stop him from killing another race - the Frost Giants, his true race. When he did that, Loki ended up trying to commit suicide. Odin held onto him on the bridge, and Loki he… he just let go,” you recalled, the feeling bubbling back up inside you. “I’d gotten somewhat close to Loki. I’d cracked his hard outer shell a bit. And for some reason, that day, when I saw him falling, all I could think was ‘not him, I can’t live without him.’ And I jumped after him. I mean, I was kind of raised with him, we were both lost people tied to Asgard, orphans - you know? There was this common ground.We had gotten to know each other very well in two months. I was completely in love.” A fond smile pulled at your lips as you remembered those easy days. “Shannon was the same way with you. I don’t know if she ever told you,” you stated.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“She didn’t care much for you, until she worked in your lab. She admired your work, and your mind, but it wasn’t until she worked with you every day that she really fell hard. She just kind of saw you for the persona you put on.”

Tony didn’t even argue the point you made. He knew that you knew him well enough to know he was mostly show, all a distraction for his insecurities and fears.

“But she saw you for this sensitive, sweet, intelligent guy. The same thing happened with Loki. He was this cold, rigid man. But once I got him to open up, he was the most romantic, caring man I’d ever met. He’d just been looked over all his life. No matter how hard he worked, no matter how many battles he won, no matter how many academic challenges he crushed, he never earned the praise of his people or his father.”

“Maybe we have more in common than I thought,” Tony muttered. “But why go through all that, for him? I mean, the brainwashing, torture, nearly killing the avengers and Shannon… All that for him?”

“It was never, ever our intention to kill any of you, let alone hurt you. We were sincerely hoping that we could at most turn Bruce into a wrecking machine that you would have to focus on. That was the best case scenario… But it didn’t happen.” You bit your lip. “Thanos said he would kill Loki if I failed… What would you have done? If it came to fighting Rhodey and your friends, to keep her alive?” you questioned, your tone slightly challenging.

Tony’s eyebrows slowly rose as he gazed at the floor.

“I was just trying to save him, save us, save our lives. We’d endured a year of suffering and torture… I didn’t want it to all be in vain. What would you have done?” you asked.

After several moments, he finally spoke up. Tony Stark being speechless was something you never thought you’d witness.

“Can’t say I’d have done much differently,” he agreed begrudgingly.

You gazed down at your hands, toying with your fingers.

“Tony, I still mean what I said years ago. You’re still one of my greatest friends, and you’ve always been great to Shannon. Don’t be so hard on yourself. She loves you more than anything. I wish we could go back to what we were,” you noted with a half grin. “I know we can’t but… I’d like to at least start over.”

A smile played at his lips. “Yeah, I’d like that too,” he stated. “But no starting over. Too much work and I don’t want to have to remember all your favorite things. Let’s just call it even and say it’s water under the bridge, yeah?”

A laugh escaped you. “Agreed.”

“I guess everyone is turning over a new leaf,” he commented, seeming amused.

“How so?”

“Well after Lokster and I went rounds, we went out for drinks.”

“Really?” you questioned, a skeptical laugh escaping you.

“Yeah.”

“How did that go? I miss him. Even though he’s an ass, I wish he’d come around.”

Tony winced. “Yeah, about that….”

You frowned. “What about it?”

“Remember that we’re friends again when I tell you this--”

“What?” you questioned, your eyes narrowing as you started to get off the bed. “What did you do, Tony?”

“He was feeling really… well homesick. I guess. He thought maybe he’d be better off just going back to Asgard and I said, ‘Well why don’t you?’”

“What!?” you all but shrieked. “Tony, why? How could you do that?’

He stood up to meet you at eye level. “Hear me out. Look, he misses his home. He thinks his dad will you know, go easy on him since he served a sentence out here. He confided some things to me and I thought maybe… Well… you just changed so much since you met. I just wonder if maybe you aren’t better off without him.”

“Better off without-- That is not your place to decide!” you yelled.

“I know.”

“How did he even leave? He was under probation here and you’ve got a travel restriction on him.”

“I may have lifted that so he could leave.”

“You did this on purpose!” you accused angrily.

“Y/N/N, listen to me,” he begged, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m just thinking of you here. Ever since you met him your life has been one train wreck after another. Did you ever wonder if maybe you two aren’t meant for each other? Maybe your lives would be easier apart. You want to live here on Earth, and he wants to be on Asgard.”

It seemed as if Shannon could feel strong emotions that her friend was feeling and that caused her to wake up. It’d been so long since she’d been awake but it's like she was perfectly fine.

“Y/N, what's wrong? Did Tony tell you something to piss you off?” She sat up looking from her best friend to her husband who she remembers she still had to finish talking with.  

“Babe, you're awake!” Tony exclaimed, rushing to her side to hold her hand. “Are you feeling okay? Do you need something to drink?”

“I’m fine, Tony. I'm more worried about Y/N. What did you tell her?”

“I told her that I gave Loki permission to leave New York and go back to his family on Asgard. I figured that he should get to go back, seeing as he missed his family.”

“Tony, what were you thinking?! He shouldn't have left, let alone by himself. They still had things to fix. You had no right to do that.”

"Shan, sweetie, you need to rest. I can take it from here. I'm going after Loki," you said defiantly as you started to grab clothes and a suitcase.

“Y/N, I can’t let you do that by yourself. The least I can do after everything you’ve done for me is go with you and help you sort out this problem.” She looked over at Tony, giving him a look. “As for you, we’re going to finish our conversation before I passed out when we come back.”

Tony looked away, knowing he was going to get an earful from her when she got back about everything that’s happened.

“Y/N, finish packing. I’ll go shower and get dressed really quick. Think you can pack my bag?”

"Of course," you said solemnly.

“You just woke up. I dont think it’s a good idea for you to be going to another planet just yet, babe.” He watched her get up and start heading for the bathroom.

“I know I probably shouldn’t be doing this but it needs to be done. Who knows how things will go when they talk? I need to be there in case of anything.” And with that, she walked into the bathroom. A little while later she was showered and dressed. Just then Bruce walked in to do his routine check on her.

“Shannon! You’re awake. You shouldn’t be up and walking around just yet.” He rushed to her to make sure she didn’t fall. “Where are you going?” He noticed the two packed bags.

“Y/N and I are going to go find Loki and have him come back to earth so those two to talk things out.”

“Where exactly are you going?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t too far

“Asgard,” she simply responded.

“No, Shannon! I can’t let you do that. Who knows how your body will react to you entering their planet.”

“I’ll be fine. If anything, the doctors over there can check me, plus my healing factor has been active this entire time so I’m okay.”

“I’d rather me or someone else go with you two just to make sure,” Bruce said, not seeing how Tony reacted to him saying that.

“Babe, he’s right you two shouldnt go, healing factor or not you are not at 100 just yet.”

“I am a grown ass woman I can go where I please and if you really want to come Bruce, I’m not stopping you. Just don’t think I’m going to do everything you say,” she called over her shoulder  as she grabbed her bag and both women headed out the door.

“Wait, let me grab some things and I’ll go with you both. Just to keep you girls safe.” He went to the room that was close by, no one had realized he had switched rooms to be closer to Shanon. “Alright, I've got everything, you want to lead the way?” He gestured to you to go ahead of them.

“On it,” you said confidently as you walked out of the mansion, far away from it, and out into the field behind it. Shannon and Bruce were just behind you, following you out.

Tony pulled Bruce back. “You better not dare try anything while you three are there, got it?” he warned the taller man. “Remember who she’s married to, Banner.”

“Relax, would you? As her doctor, I’m keeping it professional.” He walked away in hopes of ending the conversation there.

As soon as everyone made their way beside you, everyone’s luggage in hand, you took a deep breath. “Heimdall, open the bifrost, please,” you requested. It was so odd, you hadn’t been to Asgard since the fall. You wondered how it would feel returning to your ‘home.’

Heimdall opened the rift and within the blink of an eye, a rainbow shroud formed around you to take you away.

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords​ @oldfreakything​ @adefectivedetective​ @dontbetooobvious​

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Marvel: @reigningqueenofwords​ @flowerbunbunny​ @zelda2248​ @misz-adrii​

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, Ep. 1 (Cont)

So obviously, Hibiki lived. What, you thought she died? Nah, not yet.

The show punts us back to the present.

And Hibiki’s in a brand new school! Looks good. It looks better than most University campuses. So it be in the psuedo-future, where pods and towers and glass are everywhere, and god knows how the condensation works in the building.

And it’s a music academy! Because fuck you, this is a musical anime. What, you thought she was going to a technical school? Trade school? No buddy. Better get with the choir ‘cause we singin’ out here.

All the teachers hate Hibiki, because she’s the world’s biggest goof.

This is karmically balanced by her having such a swanky dormitory that it outrivals most high end studio apartments. Look at this shit. Look how many square feet that is. A family could live in here. Is she paying for this? How can you afford this?

“i saved my money”

Her roommate? It should be obvious.

Her soon-to-be wife. This is not an exaggeration. She literally acts like her housewife. This is something even the voice actresses keep in mind. It’s that ingrained.

I... what? But. But they do...

She loves her idiot girlfriend.

Tsubasa is going solo for depressingly obvious reasons. Also, she goes to this school! Nobody really cares, though. It’s sorta weird really, you’d think more people would freak out that a pop star of national acclaim would be getting classes at their school, but nah! Not a damn person cares. It’s just the usual.

Oh right. Hibiki cares. That’s real fucking creepy, Hibiki.

This scar is important. It’s what she got after the whole incident. You might say it’s going to show off her... forte! Eh? Eh...? ‘Cause, ‘cause it’s a forte symbol, and it means force in italian, and it means she’s gonna get stronger, and... okay. Okay, I’ll shut up.

Harry Potter jokes aside, Hibiki isn’t just tailing Tsubasa to be a creepy stalker. She wants answers; mainly an explanation for what the fuck happened during that whole Noisefest 2017 thing, and why they were in admittedly cool outfits singing to themselves without any music (because presumably the music is only in our perspective, not theirs).

Hibiki’s really hung up about not dying, and she’s worried the whole Symphogear revelation was just part of a near death hallucination. Like seeing angels right before dying, except a bit more anime.

Anyway, time to go to sleep together with your bestest friend in the whole wide world who clearly would not marry you at the drop of a dime.

In the top bunk of a bunk bed. Clearly heterosexual behavior. Straight as straight can be.

Meanwhile the Noise are wrecking shop in some undisclosed location somewhere as the military keeps attacking them.

This is a bad time to point out that guns, bullets, and all conventional artillery and means of warfare have no effect on the Noise. This is also a bad time to remind you that this is not the first altercation; so much so that civilians are on a first name basis with them.

“i am literally being thrown into a meat grinder”

Tsubasa shows up explicitly to clown on the military, putting the F. U. in SNAFU.

Tsubasa is currently an angsty gay mess. Her girlfriend’s gone, she’s in the same school as the person she sacrificed her life for, and she’s real fucking lonely. Also her family sucks ass. I mean real ass. Not the traditional ass. We’re talking advanced ass.

Abridged footage of Tsubasa defeating the Noise.

“why the fuck were we even sent out to begin with”

Meanwhile at Lydian, where fully stocked healthy buffet options are just The Norm in this cafeteria. You know, just making more higher tier casual food restaurants be put to shame by this.

Hibiki eats the SHIT out of things. Spiritually, she’s basically Goku.

Tsubasa comes in and some girls sorta lose their shit but otherwise they’re really keeping it together for being near a celebrity. Hibiki gets up and-

“uhhhhhhhh hi”

Awkward sniffing noises.

“aw damn shits gettin real too bad i cant watch this i got a four course meal to get to HA CHA CHA”

And in a single hand gesture, Tsubasa absolutely destroys the shit out of Hibiki.

Annihilated. Never living that one down. Total destruction of her ego.

You know it’s bad when even your girlfriend-to-be roasts you for it.

Yeah, pirating is the only way to get the- I mean! Digital goods are only to be retrieved through purchase.

Anyway. Our lovely little nerd sets off to buy some limited edition CDs of her favorite idol and also her classmate, Tsubasa; the clipped wing of Zwei Wing. A fitting, but unfortunatre title. Hibiki is all giddy about this until her Hibiki sense tingles.

The patented HibikiSense technology only goes off in two scenarios: When she’s hungry, and when she’s in danger. Using her limited, but sharpened, braincells, Hibiki understands that she already ate several times. So the only thing left is-

You know, you’d think there’d be zone warnings about this kind of stuff it happens on the regular. But this is Hibiki, so she probably never paid attention to them.

Intense fax noises in brain.

Hibiki, being A Good Person, goes out of her way to save a little girl she heard in danger.

Weirdly, the day changed rapidly, but fuck it, we all know it’s for the drama.

I want you to take a moment to process this picture. How long do you think the Noise have just been standing there to catch those two? Do you think they all collectively went “You know, they’re gonna end up here, so let’s just wait it out for a bit.” And then just stood there for hours? These are the things that keep me up at night.

Hibiki makes her run to the shelter with the girl, but failed to realize having 4 meals in succession is a real bad thing to do before running what culminates a triathlon.

Hibiki remembers Kanade’s words of advice, though. They ring out something like:

So she keeps going. And going. And going.

What a thrill...

She makes it to the roof of some... power facility complex? With strong Megaman vibes? And they hide out there, blissfully unaware that this does not stop something that has rockets phase right through them. And can, y’know, fly.

Surprise, motherfucker. Thought you saw the last of me.

Cornered, and out of options, she does what any main protagonist would do in the worst possible situation.

Whips out some good ol’ fashioned superpowers, baby!

Even the noise are confused! They literally look at each other and go “uhhh, what” and wonder what the fuck is going on!

“ohhhhhhh my GODDDDD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING MY EYES”

Naturally it’s just GOTTA be an EVENT everybody’s gotta know about.

“oh my god the gaydar’s OFF THE CHARTS”

The impact of this is that this is Kanade’s old relic, which was used as the basis of her Symphogear. This gives two implications: She’s alive (she can’t be), or someone else is wearing her duds in a hand-me-down fashion.

GUNGIR DATTO?!

“no fucking why. is. is she alive? she cant be. she died in my fucking arms. i SAW her die. how the fuck- who stole her clothes? thats impossible. oh my fucking god. my brain cant take this. who the fuck is running around in my deceased girlfriend’s clothes. im going to fuck them up so bad. im going to rewire their skeleton so they have legs for arms. theyre gonna be lanky fucking kong once i get my hands on them. ohhhh my god. i need to destress at panera or something. fuck. oh my fucking god.”

As the elemental piss stream vortex keeps pulsating out of Hibiki’s chest like a strange, pulsating flashlight of energy, her very body transforms to embrace the relic and become..

Feral? She’s turning feral? Oh shit. I didn’t remember this. Oh boy. Better go see a dentist later.

Oh Jesus Christ.

I hope you never watch AKIRA, Hibiki.

Oh. Oh, you thought this was gonna be a happy transformation? You thought wrong, viewer. Hibiki is no longer fucking around. And to think, this is just the beginning...

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18

==>

Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18.  We’re with Jane... that might not be good.  Especially given Lollipop proximity.

Jane scoffing at troll genocide again.  :(

Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.

GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?

Pfffff

Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.

I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.

It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation?  Are they black with each other or something??

What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.

Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah

GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.

Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon

or anyone for that matter

JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.

....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this.  Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.

Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:

Oh god they named the baby Tavros.

Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really.  I can see why they singled out page 18.  I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.

HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!

Eeeeuugh

JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world

God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????

You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.

JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly

Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this.  This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:

jesus

D: D: D:

This... is actually making my stomach roil again????

like

not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with

FAN SCENARIOS

ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole

but once its CANON????????   D: D: D:

suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation.  Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.”  D:

andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY

Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER

AAAAAAAA  D’:

i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me

Rose surrogate?

JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!

Pffffff.  Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here.  I should... TRY to lighten up about this.  Try.  D:

(...wait, shit.  Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page.  God damnit.)

[[ EDIT:  askshenhibiki said:

Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.

Ah, let’s see...

ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........

Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.

...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]

Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario.  I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this.  Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?

==>

Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.

Oh wow, John went for the mustache.  Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?

Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.

D:  D:  D:

Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!!  What the hell! >:(

Is this about politics?  Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever??  Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.

Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.

KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

Yep, that triangle’s fucked.  Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...

...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.

JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave

She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.

Oh SHIT.  Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???

Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.

There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.

JADE: its... JADE: ME???

Okay what the FUCK.  It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all.  Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole

I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience.  But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??

And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either.  Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript.  Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation?  Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her.  Never mind.  Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.

Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW

==>

Page 20...

Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.

Hm... same stupid tooth poison?  No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole.  Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.

Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center?  That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.

ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao

ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE.  WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.

And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.

Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?

ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok

ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE

ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.

JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?

Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(

ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!

I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit...  And, I mean, what the hell could she even do??  It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.

==>

She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.

Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers.  I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.

What is with people being bathed in light here?

each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.

Uhhh.... huh.

So.

If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????

John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.

Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?

Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer

Pff

(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript.  Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party.  Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

Pfffffffffff

The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.

Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of.  Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?

since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest

My damn god, people.

...alright finally, everyone’s talking.

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

...Huh.  Huuuuhh.  What the fuck is all this for.  Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?

Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots

okay there’s the labor going into good distraction

alright corpse get back up

JADE: i am not jade.

Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now?  To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business?  And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers?  And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage?  Huh.

The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.

Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD  D:

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

Well fuck.  So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something.  Relevant, possible, I dunno.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

Okay that’s good.  So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved.  Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.

.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart.  Dammit.

==>

Terezi talk Terezi talk

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

Oh my GOD.  So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????

That’s pretty interesting!  Heck my stomach’s even calming down!

they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP

Yeah that’s pretty terrible!

...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge.  I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.

--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<

PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping.  That means things must be pretty fucking bad.

--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.

Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi.  Yep, that’s Gamzee.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.

Jesus.  Fucking.  Christ.

I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is.  Why would it be anything else.  I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.

The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.

Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey

ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

ROXY.  WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO.  I MISS IT.  YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.

Touching photo.

Alright lemme post split.  I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.

[nat-20s]

Top 5 Breakdowns over David Tennant- any fandom/show/ play you've seen? I really liked the dw one you did, just hoping you could expand over/ include other things he's been in.

Oh anon you are QUITE the enabler thank you.

So this is like half actual breakdown list and half just like David Tennant recommendations in general because I love that funky little scot.

+1. This isn’t going on the official list because I already did the previous list you mentioned (i’m glad you liked it, btw!!!) but yeah. Doctor Who. He plays the doctor in a very fuckin uhh mercutial way (he plays a lot of characters that way and I am 100% enamored by it every fuckin time he just does it SO WELL AUGH) and like highs were so high and the lows were so low and he was so FURIOUS AND CRUEL but also so GENTLE AND KIND and like oof!! The multifacetedness bitch!!!! That’s what it’s all about babey!!!

5. Good omens. I mean, duh. There was no fucking way I was gonna survive good omens. Like, honestly, even without miss tennant I wouldn’t have survived it because HA HA HA HA H O L Y SHIT MY FAVORITE BOOK FOR THE LAST DECADE WAS GETTING AN ACTUAL SCREEN ADAPTATION I GENUINELY DID NOT THINK WE WOULD EVER BE HERE THIS SHIT IS LIT. but then but THEN it was like. The way that he portrayed crowley definitely fit into a particular niche that david tennant KILLS. Like god okay I could spend an whole fucking essay on this point so I’m gonna distill this down to just. THE moment that I was like “okay okay okay okay fuck I’m GOING THROUGH IT” was when his voice cracks as he tells aziraphale that he lost his best friend because like in context OOF and out of context I have been Pavlovian trained for the past decade to Utterly Lose My Shit when David Tennant is like this close to crying and he expresses that with his whole body THE ASSHOLE! LET ME REST. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS MISTER!!

4. The Escape Artist. Lesser known (I think?), but a VERY GOOD miniseries! The tone is much darker, and he’s a much more serious character. Similar vibes, role wise, to broadchurch. I’m not sure how much rewatch value it has but watching it for the first time had me like MISSION STATUS: SICK!!!! It’s like a cat and mouse mystery and like. I’m not gonna go to in depth into the story because I think it’s more enjoyable to go into it not knowing much and too me it was one of those things that took like 3 hours to watch all of and a full week or two to like. Process. Also I’m not usually one for drama and I was ABOUT it so I would recommend!!!

3. JESSICA JONES (season 1). Holy FUCK dude. Definitely his darkest and most evil role, and the subject matter is VERY heavy and I definitely would NOT recommend it for everyone because it could be, how you say, triggering as fuck or even just because it is incredibly dark and that might not be your thing. Funnily enough, it’s DEFINITELY not my thing, personally, I tend to avoid narratives about sexual assault because so many of them are, uh, ya know, bad, but Jessica Jones season 1 really is done FANTASTICALLY! The David Tennant breakdown was just a level of cognitive dissonance because I had never seen him play like a VILLAIN villain. I mean, yeah, he was Barty Crouch Jr., but that was for like 30 seconds and while the dude was creepy there was a layer of campy over the topness that is present in most fun fantasy franchises. I remember when he was cast as the purple man me and my parents were like. Yeah he’ll obviously crush the role because he’s talented but in the back of our minds we’ll probably still be thinking of like the doctor and I wonder if we can fully accept him playing the role. Yeah there was fucking NONE OF THAT. When he played Purple Man I never ONCE thought of his other roles and I didn’t even, like, think of David Tennant, ya know. I was just like oh shit this man is evil and terrifying and I want him dead! Please die!!! And yes, I know that that’s how acting works or whatever but also ACTING ya know!!! Of any of the roles on this list this one definitely made me be the most like SHE HAS THE RANGE because I really think it highlights how INCREDIBLY GOOD at his job he is!!! I have not ever rewatched Jessica Jones season 1 though because while it is honestly like a triumph of television it is also A Lot to deal with and I am very rarely in the kind of mindset where I’m able to watch it. But yeah. David Tennant knows what the fuck he’s doing and it is very good.

2. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING BABEY. Literally I knew nothing about the play or why I should care but the promo material was like. Catherine Tate and David Tennant are costars again and I was like OKAY SIGN ME THE FUCK UP HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH. For real I think on screen chemistry Catherine Tate and David Tennant are one of if not just straight up my favorite duo of all time. They are just so DELIGHTFUL and ENCHANTING and BEWITCHING and basically I want them to costar in everything ever. @azirafeathers was like “sherlock holmes adaptation where she’s sherlock and he’s watson” and I haven’t stopped thinking about that since!!! I would give my left thumb or at least like a solid $60 to see that. Like PLEASE it would be PERFECT. I LOVE THEM. And god this production of much ado is definitely like. “Here’s Benedick and Beatrice. They’re two chaotic dumbass bisexuals that are like fives on the kinsey scale and they fall in love much to their surprise” and it’s TERRIFIC. That’s exactly what I like to see. Like it’s set in the 80s and the set design? The visual gags? The costumes? The soundtrack? THE PHYSICAL COMEDY? It all SLAPS. David Tennant really balances “fun and funky slut” and “utterly PINING idiot” so fucking well. I have said it before and I will say it again David Tennant peaks when Catherine Tate is being mean to him. Also really iconic to give him the role that is like the only man in the play that is (after a bit) CHUGGING his respect women juice. I mean LOOK at this utter buffoon.

I’m in love. This play made me a proud morosexual. Plus it’s all FREE ON YOUTUBE THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE THREE HOURS AND WANT TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKIN TIME GO WATCH MUCH ADO!!

1. H A M L E T. So imagine that you’re 14 and it’s 3 am and you’re casually watching David Tennant’s hamlet on youtube or at least the parts they put up and you’re painting stars on your ceiling with glow in the dark paint and it makes you realize that you have an excess of black bile and a melancholic temperment and you’ll understand why, while this might not be my all time favorite david tennant role (though it definitely is high up on the list) , this is absolutely my number one David Tennant Related Breakdown. Hoo boy. This probably doesn’t come as a shock to literally anybody that knows me irl bc I Will Not shut up about Hamlet and it is this productions fault. Different people will respond differently too it, and I’m definitely 1000% biased because a: I love him and b: it was the first production I ever watched and it’s what got me On My Bullshit, but this production honestly makes me like. Get Hamlet. Or not get hamlet, personally, as a character, we’re never meant to fully understand him honestly, but it made me understand the ALLURE of the play. I watched it and I was like oh. Yeah. Okay. I can see why people have been obsessed with this for 400 years. I know why it’s considered one of the greatest roles and one of the greatest plays of all time. And I went absolutely feral for it. It solidified Horatio permanently as one of my all time favorite characters in anything ever. David Tennant has this tendency to put manic and desperate energy into the characters that he plays, and that of course works extremely well for hamlet. Plus, like, he plays characters that are drowning, that need the assistance and kindness of love to try and float, and even with that might not be able to keep their heads above water, and the characters that are opposite him are basically always wonderful. Because I am deeply deeply predictable, the core dynamic of Hamlet and Horatio’s relationship is probably like THE most appealing and interesting and important aspect of the play to me, and Peter de Jersey (who is absolutely INCREDIBLE in this production) and David Tennant pull it of breathtakingly beautifully. Every time I watch this I have to lie down for a while. Every time I THINK about this I have to lie down for awhile. So, yeah, number one David Tennant based breakdown is over his hamlet.

Honorable mentions

this gifset-I have not seen what this is actually from but it made me have a conniption. I’m in love with her. She’s my idealized self. I don’t know what to do with myself. I spent 5 hours looking at this now. What the fuck. 

The Decoy Bride- I didn’t have a breakdown over it BUT it is a recommendation. Very silly rom com, very much a comfort movie like music and lyrics or singing in the rain for me. Great for sleep overs or rainy sunday afternoons. 

Richard II- I haven’t seen it but based on one (1) clip and some stills I would be lost in the sauce for a week after a viewing. 

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger- watch nativity 2 danger in the manger. 

Fright Night- jesus fucking CHRIST mister tennant went full slut

Casanova- Mister Tennant Goes Full Slut part 2- has blue colored contacts and it’s weird

[renaroo]

Day 25 Sweaters: What I Miss

Disclaimer: Batman and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: Canon-typical violence & language, One sided pining Pairings: ReneexDaria Rating: T Synopsis: Renee runs into Daria. Or, rather, Renee shows up at Daria’s restaurant and hopes beyond hope she can pull off being surprised after so much time it took for her to come back where she really belonged. ReneexDaria. Sapphic September: Sweaters.

A/N: I don’t think I’ve ever written for Daria and Renee’s romance? Even though I adore them so much and they’re up there in my mind with Holly & Karon and Kate & Maggie for iconic couples of Gotham. So it’s time to fix that.

Renee was a smart detective. She should have known better. It wasn’t exactly like it took much more than common sense to know that showing up, unannounced, without a plan, to the one place in the world you would be wanted least was ever something desirable to do to an ex. She knew it was stupid long before she stepped through the door.

She knew a lot of things. But Renee had always been more stubborn than she was smart at the end of the day and that was going to always have been her downfall.

It was a trait she inherited from her family all too strongly.

So despite all signs, despite all common sense, Renee sat down by herself at a table for two, checked the clock to know what shifts were about to change, then gave a simple order to the teenage waiter who came to serve her.

“Non-sweet tea,” Renee answered before he could get a word out. “And a water with lemon. Poblano pepper with extra brown rice, taquitos mexicanos with papas and a Dos Equis.” She waited for the shock to drop from his face and gave him time to write down what he could remember. She paid attention so that she knew for sure that the important parts were written down, then she tilted her hat up. “And, please, tell the chef I send my highest regards.”

The last part was enough to make even the nervous young man take pause and look at Renee questioningly. But it didn’t last for long. He slowly nodded and then cleared his throat as he left to immediately tell anyone in the back about the strangeness.

There was no telling if he would go to management or to the kitchens first to describe his encounter, but Renee took the gamble because she knew that either way she was going to get what she wanted. And that, in itself, was a pretty sickening thought. Since what she wanted was fairly self-destructive and selfish if nothing else. And it was going to uproot the foundations of whatever life her ex had built for herself since leaving Renee at its least.

No one came out with her drinks, Renee studied the clock and figured that she wasn’t even going to get her customary chips and salsa for the meal due to the calamity she had no doubt unfolded in the back of the restaurant.

Then, finally, there was the stomping of feet and, as Renee looked dup, she was met by someone who probably thought Renee would never darken her doorsteps again.

“Renee!” Daria all but bellowed. She’d grown a bit thinner since the breakup. Her eyes had more of a wrinkle, she let her hair grow long enough to be tucked behind her ears. Ironic, as Renee had cut off most of her own hair in recent months.

It was amazing how exhausted from a full shift, older and sharper on all her edges, Daria still managed to be the most beautiful woman Renee had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

“Daria,” Renee answered in turn. She waved to the adjacent seat. “I’ve got room for one more if—“

“Grab your coat, we’re taking this outside,” Daria ordered.

Not getting up quite yet, Renee remained calm. Cool. It was the key to maintaining control of the chaos that she always seemed to drag into her own life. At least, that’s what Tot kept telling her.

She should’ve probably listened to more of his advice before getting into the situation to begin with.

“So my money’s not good here? I can’t order our favorite meals and eat peacefully?” she pressed smoothly instead.

Daria looked immediately frazzled. “Our favorite— Renee. Get your coat. We’re taking this outside before it’s more of a scene,” she ordered.

Renee let out a small breath and tilted her hat back down before following orders. “As you insist, ma’am.”

There was a vein in Daria’s jaw that pulsed at the comment but she wasn’t going to say another word until they were out the door. It was the sort of restraint that made Renee feel restraint.

Once they were out the door, Gotham hit them both with a blast of wind. Snow was supposed to fall later that night, and the gushing air of the not-so-distant Gotham Bay seemed intent on reminding the whole city of it. Especially Renee and Daria as the latter led the former straight for the nearest street corner, far enough from her restaurant that yelling was less likely to be heard or acknowledged by patrons.

Responsibility, patience, an understanding of how to act in public. Renee was remembering all over again how many things Daria was capable of that completed her.

“What the hell, Renee?” Daria asked, wearing nothing more than her work clothes and a completely bewildered expression that battled valiantly with her confusion and anger.

“I’m back in Gotham,” Renee answered. “It felt like a night to eat at my favorite place.”

“Oh my god,” Daria hissed, hugging her arms in the wind and looking off. “I haven’t… You haven’t said a single word to me in three years. That’s almost as long as we were living together. Jesus Christ.”

“I could argue that it goes both ways but… you’re right. I haven’t reached out to you in three years. After you broke up with me,” Renee acknowledged sharply. “You can see why I might assume that there’s good reason for not being the one to initiate it.”

“Until tonight,” Daria laughed darkly. “Of course you should’ve reached out to me. No one has known how to get a hold of you since you went off the grid. Your mother has talked to me more than the entire time we were together simply because she sometimes hopes I can tell her you’re alive. And those are the worst because I can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Renee said truthfully. “I didn’t ever want to put that on you.”

Daria glared at her angrily. “But you put the onus on me to fix things if there was a chance to,” Daria said lowly. “Right? Because I broke things off. But you… You were the one who refused to fight for us. Even when we were still together for those last months… you couldn’t gather the fucks to give us a fighting chance. You drained me. You took my heart and returned it without an ounce of love left.”

Though she had been quiet for most of the outburst, Renee let out a breathy sigh and looked back at Daria. “So I take it you haven’t been dating since the breakup.”

Shocked at first, Daria’s mouth opened before her thin lips pulled back as she gritted teeth, her hand pulling back but not before Renee was already grabbing it at the wrist, stopping any forward momentum.

“Don’t,” Renee warned. “Don’t assault an officer.”

“You’re not a police officer anymore, Renee,” Daria reminded her. “You’re… I don’t even know. What are you now?”

Despite herself, Renee allowed a coy smile to tug at her face. “That’s the question, isn’t it?” she asked back.

“Don’t play games with me,” Daria warned. “Dammit, Renee, don’t… don’t you…”

“No games,” Renee assured her. “I’m still a detective. My hours and payroll are just a little different.”

“Never-ending, is more like it,” Daria muttered, rubbing her arms for warmth.

Without hesitation, Renee slipped her coat off and began to reach to wrap it around Daria instead, only hesitating when the other woman pulled back, a suspicious look in her eyes.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Daria assured her.

“You’re freezing,” Renee countered. “And I have more layers. And more coats if this ends with you saying pretty definitively that you never want to see me again.”

“It might,” Daria answered defensively .Still she didn’t flinch away as Renee helped drape the coat over her shoulders. She even shuffled her arms a bit to help the coat more fully fall into place. Then she looked around and back to Renee. “Why did you come here, Renee? What do you want?”

“I miss things,” Renee answered simply. “Even if they’re things I know I can never get back — or even if they’re things I don’t deserve back — I miss them. And I was hoping to see more of them. Try to earn them back.”

“I’m one of those things?” Daria asked, unimpressed.

“You’re not a thing to be missed,” Renee answered. “You’re the part of my whole. You’re that thing that I don’t deserve because I’ve just proved to be all the reasons you left me for in the first place. Haven’t I?”

Daria didn’t rise to the bait, but she seemed more comfortable and calm. Her eyes shifted over Renee’s body carefully. “If I’m not something you miss, what do you miss?”

“Silly things, insignificant things,” Renee answered with a shrug. “Gotham air. The Batsignal annoying the shit out of me at two in the morning. The sweaters my mom would make and send me every Christmas.”

The last bit got a genuine laugh out of Daria. And, in turn, Renee smiled. “You always looked cute in those sweaters.”

“You only say that because you never had to wear them,” Renee answered. “Listen, believe it or not, I did order food and beer because I’m hungry. And if you just got off work… well, I’m betting you wouldn’t mind a free meal at a restaurant where you don’t serve the desserts, right?”

Daria took a breath. “You can’t just walk back into people’s lives like this, Renee.”

“I know, I’m not pretty enough to get away with it,” Renee joked.

“I’m trying to be serious here. I loved you with everything in me and you… The person you were just gave up in front of my own eyes and left me with someone I don’t recognize even today,” Daria warned. “I don’t think my heart can take you at only your word alone anymore. I can’t make crazy moves just for old memories.”

“Is dinner a crazy move? Because that’s all I’m asking for right now, I swear,” Renee assured her. “Plus I have plenty of questions for you. Questions I’d love to hear you answer.”

Daria shook her head, a small smirk on her face. “You’re incorrigible, aren’t you?”

“I’m just an enigma, as complex and as simple as that may mean,” Renee answered, holding out her hand. “Dinner? For real?”

With a long sigh, Daria took Renee’s hand, answering the first of many questions for the night.

And the possibilities, endless as they were, began only then.

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

[lynneshobbydomain]

Love’s Sacrifice Chapter Two: Alexina and Griffon VxFemale OC

Author’s Note: And that’s what she wrote so far. I haven’t gotten to write chapter three yet. But I may just do so in the near future, so stay tuned. This is inspired by @spirit-of-the-void Ebony and Ivory. You should check it out! Links down below like always. 

Chapter Two: Alexina and Griffon

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was how much pain I was in. It felt like white needles were all over my upper torso, like a horrible sunburn at the beach. Even trying to peel myself up from the carpet made me want to scream in agony. My muscles ached, my head pounded, the world was moving too fast and everything looked as though there were two of them rather than just one. I could still smell a faint stench of sulfur on the air, blood and rotting meat. I could smell ash and fire, and I looked towards where I had set the candle out. A pool of wax in a porcelain plate greeted me and I wanted to groan. It was going to be a bitch to clean, but at least it wasn’t on the floor.

I tried to get myself up again, my arms shaking underneath my weight. My body practically screamed, as though I was ripping myself in half just trying to sit up. I remembered once how hard it was for Alexina to get up, and I wondered faintly if this was what I was going to feel for the rest of my life. Better me than you. I took a breath when I finally managed to get myself upright. It had been more of a chore than I wanted to admit. The room still spun uncomfortably and my stomach turned with the feeling. A bad rollercoaster ride, a bad car ride, it was the only way I could describe the constant movement that I was feeling, and how my stomach swished around inside of me as though it too wasn’t contained.

My vision finally stopped blurring and showing me double after a while. My eyes caught something black in the corner of my eye and when I looked I noticed that my arms were covered in a black ink like substance. The designs were just swirls and random little marks, but I could feel something pulsating through them. I couldn’t tell if this was the mark of the demon that claimed me or if something else was involved. I doubted that it was a mark, while demons did lack subtly, I don’t ever recall them marking territory. However, every demon was different, and I couldn’t just assume because of my lack of information. It would be another thing for me to research.

Regardless, the ink was troublesome. I still felt as though I was being stabbed multiple times and when I decided to take my shirt off to see if that would help the pain, I nearly screamed again as the cloth rubbed my body the wrong way. The ink didn’t look fresh, it didn’t look as though I spent hours in a tattoo parlor. Sensory issues, was that my new torment as well? Even rubbing my palm against the carpet brought me pain. I was going to have to find some way to try to keep things from touching me, and covering up was the opposite of a good idea.

I would need something that would stay still. The first thought that appeared in my head my vest coat that I sometimes wore. I could string it up enough so that it’ll persevere some modesty since it had a built in corset. It could be strung tight enough that it wouldn’t move and rub the ink in the wrong fashion. The rest I would just have to deal with, and hope that the pain was minimum. I was grateful that I had the foresight to do the ritual in my room. I could just crawl into my closet and dresser to grab what I needed and change out of my pants and underwear, with the reminder that I would have to laundry in the near future.

Once I got myself dressed, the ache and the dizziness slowly were disappearing. My body was still uncomfortable every twist and turn I made, but I had to power through. I needed to go back to the hospital and see if the demon really did follow through in his promise or if I had fucked myself over and Xina.

“So pretty boy’s awake, eh?”

I felt a tingling sensation in my arm as well as a sudden coolness that relieved the ache. I looked to see a bird over by my dresser. He was a large bodied bird, with blue and black feathers gleaming in the little daylight that could peer through the curtain. His golden eyes were watching me, studying me.

“Looks like you’re still human for now,” the bird cackled, “but what are you going to do when the time runs out, kid?”

‘You give up your humanity.’

I would no longer be human. I might have been on the right track with the demon claiming territory. The ink was probably a way for my energy to transfer to the demon, or to Alexina. Yet for some reason, the ink transformed into a bird. There was still some black ink that was swirling around on my arm, but the majority of it had left with the bird.

“Okay kid, looks like you didn’t read the terms and conditions when you applied for this, so I’ll break it down for ya.” He fluttered suddenly towards my face. I nearly fell backwards in surprise, but caught myself. “You and demon energy seem to be in a bit of a war right now. As in you’re subconsciously trying to turn it into something you can work with. I never met a human that can do that, but since when has life been boring?”

'The spell should have failed.’

My eyes narrowed at the bird, but I had a feeling that he liked to hear himself talk. All I had to do was stay silent, and see what he spelled out for me.

“A little freebie tip from one demon to another,” the bird continued, “If you’re desperate to hold on to what little humanity you have left, you better pick something that you can hold on tight to. And I’m not talking about another human. You people are fucking fickle.”

I suppose that made sense. Something to hold me steady if something goes wrong. To keep me present. I didn’t want to lay down and let the demon take me, he was looking for a fight, aching for one. Who was I to deny him that? I slowly got myself up to my feet and had to close my eyes as the world spun again. I felt my balance shift wrong and I nearly toppled back onto the floor. Fuck.

The bird cackled again, as though my suffering was a point of amusement for him. “Jesus, did I really get stuck with a fucking sissy? Oh christ.” The bird squawked. “This is just fucking unbelievable. What are you going to do? Faint on us every five seconds?”

“Be quiet.” I snapped, my eyes narrowed towards the bird. The bird stilled, and I kept my gaze steady. When he stayed quiet, I finally released my breath. “Who are you?”

“Jeez. Gotta do all the damn work.” The demon bird sighed, “Griffon. Don’t you dare forget it, pretty boy. What do I call you?”

I licked the corner of my lip, “You can call me V.”

“Fucking…do you think you’re all mysterious and all that? Is that why you’re giving me a pseudonym? For someone that’s not a witch, you certainly act like one.” Griffon cackled again, “Whatever suits your fancy, V. Whatever suits your fancy. You made a deal with a demon, not a smart move. What could be so important that you’d toss half of your life away?”

“The modest Rose puts forth a thorn, The humble sheep a threatening horn: While the Lily white shall in love delight, Nor a thorn nor a threat stain her beauty bright." (1) I quoted absently as I walked to find my poetry journal. Xina had it made for my birthday a long time ago. I wrote as many poems that were mine as well as other favorites from other authors. Most of them were William Blake, considering he was what got me into poetry to begin with.

“A regular ol’ Shakespeare then.” Griffon sighed. “Whatever floats your boat, V.”

White-hot pain returned into my arm as he disappeared in black ink. I sharply inhaled and tried to slow my exhale so that the pain wouldn’t make me pass out. I couldn’t reach her like this. I was too drained already and it was just from one familiar coming back to me. I barely stumbled towards my bed before falling flat onto it and nearly screaming when the covers rubbed me wrong.

This better leave soon. This pain…I was so drained from it.

There was a noise that sounded far away. A sharp ringing that made me bolt upright and looked over towards the door. I strained my ears and yes, there it was again. I pushed myself up painfully and ignored how the markings pulled and yanked onto my skin as I hobbled my way through towards the kitchen where the phone hung on the wall. I flipped it off of the receiver and grabbed it midair, my favorite trick that made Xina roll her eyes at me sometimes.

“Vitale.” The nurse’s voice was soothing. “She’s awake and out of ICU.”

It worked. “I’ll be there soon.” I placed the receiver down. How much time had passed since I had passed out? I glanced at the clock. 6:30…it was nearing sunset now.

“Is she the Hathaway to your Shakespeare?”

I was grateful that I didn’t startle easy, but he still gave me a minor heart attack. I barely had to glance over my shoulder to see him partially out of the ink. Apparently the ink for him went through my arm and my shoulder blade. I was curious what the rest of the ink could do, but I had a feeling I didn’t want to test that theory out yet. I was barely strong enough to have Griffon come out when he wanted.

“Something like it.” I decided that it was just best to go with it.

Griffon hummed softly, “Don’t think she knows what you did, does she.”

The unasked question was what was I going to do when I saw her. She was going to comment on the ink, it wasn’t as though it was only seen by people who had powers. No, everyone was going to know that I had gotten myself marked.

“ I told my love, I told my love, I told her all my heart; Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.” (2) The quote came to me unbidden and it didn’t shock neither one of us.

He seemed satisfied with that answer and disappeared back into the ink. I grinned slightly. I wondered if the bird knew that I was fucking with him. Regardless, we were stuck together for the foreseeable future. While it was best to get along with one another, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t have some fun while doing so. It was a good thing that it was quite a walk from the apartment to the hospital. I had some thinking to do.

~

Hospitals were one of the places I always found unsettling. I knew that it was a place for healing and a place for help, but I also knew it was a place for lost causes. It was a place where people went and sometimes would never return. There were plenty of times I thought Xina would be the same, a new statistic in whatever horrible study they decided to do. Hospital deaths, the disease she would’ve been murdered by, so on and so forth.

As I walked through the hospital, I felt as though there was some sort of static electricity that kept me on guard. I felt the ink move and shift on my arm, as though reacting to the energy that I was feeling. I didn’t think that it was dangerous. Whatever was here was down on their luck. There was a certain room that I walked by where the energy felt tense, ready to snap. Anger and resentment.

“Nero! You’re awake?” I heard a soft girl’s voice say as I paused near the door.

“Well hell! Look at you! Give us all half of a heart-attack and you’re right as rain!” A southern voice answered.

“Fuck off, Nico.”

I didn’t bother to listen into the rest of the conversation. Whoever it was that in the room he didn’t sound up to par.

I felt the relieved feeling on my arm and Griffon’s head was close towards me. “Kid’s a quarter of a demon.”

That explained the energy. “You should go back.” I told him quietly. “Humans frighten easily.”

Griffon seemed to take that answer for what it was, and hid back into my arm, just in time for a nurse to come rounding the corner. I nodded my head politely towards her and she gave me an exhausted smile as she hurried past me to whoever needed her at the time. The woman at the front desk told me the room number, so I had to be getting close.

My heart sped up slightly at the realization that I still hadn’t come up with a proper explanation. The truth was easy, it was convincing her that this was the correct path that was hard. I finally reached her room and walked in. She looked worse for wear, as though death had touched her and then decided to leave her. Her skin still looked unhealthy and thin around her bones. I couldn’t wait to see her healthy again, with more pink and more round like she was.

"I look terrible.” She croaked, peering at me through half-lidded eyes. There was a soft smile playing at her face, chapped lips cracking uncomfortably.

I sat down on the chair that was nearby, my book of poems resting on my lap. “How are you feeling besides looks?”

“Terrible.” She answered, turning her head to follow me. Brown eyes glanced at the book on my lap and then back at me. “William Blake.” The judgement in her voice was loud.

“Nothing wrong with it.”

“You could be reading Robert Frost, William Shakespeare, hell even a new and upcoming poet.”

“And yet.” I held my book up giving her a slight smirk. “Here I am.”

She rolled her eyes, exaggerated and teasing. “So.” I raised an eyebrow, already knowing the next question that was going to come. “You went and got yourself tattooed all the way around huh?”

“Not…” I paused. It was easy to think that the truth could be told, but sitting before her now, I wondered how well she would take that. Honesty was something I valued, something she valued. Yet here I was, hesitating over it. “Not quite.”

Xina let out a slow, long breath. I felt the ink move and shift, as though threatening to come back out. I gingerly placed my hand against my arm, hoping that the message was sent. I didn’t want her to freak out when I hadn’t explained anything to her yet.

“You did something stupid.” She finally concluded, watching me. “V…what did you do?”

Made a deal to keep you safe from harm. Yet the words were clogged in my throat. I gripped the book tight in my grip and I was the one that had to slowly inhale and exhale, hoping that it would help loosen my tongue and my throat. “Self-closed, all repelling; what Demon hath form’d this abominable void. ” (3)

“Oh boy, poetry again.” Griffon appeared and I watched as Xina’s eyes narrowed. I felt my heart thump nervously in my chest. “Pretty boy here-“

“Made a deal with the devil, I know.” Xina’s voice was clipped, cold as ice. Griffon trilled nervously, ruffling his feathers. I wondered if he felt my discomfort, or if he didn’t like the way Xina sounded. She was a force to go up against when she was healthy and this hospital bed wouldn’t restrain her for long.

She forced herself to sit up, her hair falling limply around her face as she propped a pillow behind her. I would reach out to help, but I was no longer certain my touch would be welcome. “Damn it, V.”

“It was the only way-”

“-that is such bullshit-”

“-that I could be assured-“

“-there were other methods-“

“-that you will live.”

Her eyes narrowed at me dangerously. As if to show me that she was feeling better, she dragged the pillow from behind her and tossed it at me. I was grateful that the many needles that were embedding in her skin were keeping her movements limited. Griffon squawked and headed up somewhere high and away from me. I caught the pillow, and tossed it lightly back at her. She dragged it back behind her, but the look on her face promised me that she would’ve done so much more if she had the ability and strength.

“How?” She finally asked, breaking the awkward silence. “How did you…why would you…”

“Your days were counting down, they no longer had any faith.” I remembered the first night in the ICU. With how many times she had stopped breathing and how often she was coming and going through the hospital doors, there had been talks. Discussions of whether or not she should continue to be here or if she should be made comfortable for a death at home.

“So?” She gripped the covers tightly. “I would’ve beaten the odds, just like I always do.”

“Not this time.”

She closed her eyes and bowed her head, hair shielding her face, but I already knew her expression. Helpless and hopeless. “I knew that this would disappoint you.” I said after a moment of silence. “I couldn’t risk not seeing you alive. I wouldn’t take it back.”  I was surprised that Griffon had stayed silent through this exchange. Perhaps he was also wondering what type of reaction he was going to get, or perhaps he knew what kind of situation I was in, and knew that him saying anything at all would only land me in hotter water.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Exasperated, tired, Xina finally pulled her head up and looked at me. Her eyes wandered, tracing the ink and probably taking in what I was wearing. Normally she would be teasing me right about now for my choice in clothes, but I suppose this would have to do for now. She turned her attention towards Griffon. “Is he trying to watch over you and make sure you keep your end of the deal?”

Griffon cackled. “Looks like girlie thinks you need a babysitter Shakespeare.”

“After the idiotic move that he just did,” Xina deadpanned, “he needs a lot more than just a babysitter.”

“Xina.” I scooted the chair closer towards the bed and managed to grab her hand, forcing her to look at me. “Please.”

Her eyes still were cold, and I watched her shoulders slowly lose their tension. Finally she lowered her head and dragged my hand to her forehead. “You’re a fucking lunatic, V. Absolute fucking lunatic.”

“And you are my sanity.” I replied.

She choked out a laugh and she picked her head up. Tears were slipping down her cheeks and I felt my heart break and shatter at her expression. I never wanted to see her cry, and yet I couldn’t deny those tears were because of me. I squeezed her hand, trying to assure her that I was close by. I wasn’t sure if I could hug her, just because I wasn’t in too much pain now didn’t mean it wouldn’t suddenly spark if I held her close towards me. I didn’t want her to think that she was the cause of any of my pain. I didn’t want her to know how this ink affected me.

“You’ll be able to go home soon.” I assured after a moment of silence. “Nothing that happened to me changes anything.”

“Does it?” It was eerie to hear both Griffon and Xina say the same thing at the same time. It must have startled them since they both looked at each other.

“Hathaway, your boyfriend’s a piece of work.” Griffon ruffled his feathers slightly.

Xina groaned and I hide my smile as I looked between the two. For some reason, it made me happy that they were getting along. Still, I could also foresee a lot of shenanigans from the both of them. “Why that nickname of all things?” She looked at me. “Are you doing that teenage 'quote as many verses as you possibly can to freak people out'?”

It was weird how easily I forgot that. Her reminding me of it made me wonder if that’s the reason why I decided to quote poetry back at Griffon from time to time. I knew I was fucking with him, but I hadn’t remembered it was a classic of mine. It had been a long time ago. I merely smiled and she rolled her eyes, already knowing the answer. She rubbed her eyes, brushing away the tears that I longed to push away for her. She was exhausted, drained. I let her hand go. “Rest.” I told her quietly. “I’ll be here for some time.”

“You should go and get things done around the apartment before they think I died in there or something.” She told me.

“While you lie here and suffer? Grant me today, and tomorrow I’ll leave you.” I bartered instead.

“…Alright.”

(1) The Lily by William Blake

(2) Love's Secret by William Blake

(3) The Book of Urizen by William Blake

To read on AO3

To read Ebony and Ivory and support the inspiration: SpiritChilde

[replicarters]

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, pt 2

PREVIOUSLY

so my dude @yvenly, unbeknownst to me, loves a hellraiser and has a fuckin shirt of the scary man that he was wearing while reading the first part. jake assures me that the scary man is not going to come and get me and nothing i own is haunted. i trust jake, so fortunately i am able to continue what i started to do the other night, which is watch a scary gory movie starring a space angel. i can confirm it is both gory and scaring me. let me remind you, me, and god that i am only 20 minutes into it, and it took exactly 6 minutes to get to the point where i was gently pissing myself. i shudder to think what the remaining hour and ten minutes hold.

i would very much enjoy if it held more of this:

and less deep crimson rivers, but i know i'm wishing for too much.

hot topic is making breakfast, terribly. this charred, molten husk, for instance, lying atop a burner, is either toast or a severed steak. i think it's toast. everything is burning and she should stop. now, just last night, hot topic was bumming smokes, recklessly flipping curtains open, sitting on the couch weird, and emptying the contents of her backpack all over the floor. but now all of a sudden it's "hey what's up let me make breakfast", so, great, now i'm invested in this blossoming love story. god, what if hot topic dies??? i don't think i could handle that. she and joey are friends now! hot topic's trying to make her food to repay her kindness! it's all fine with me as you might guess.

hot topic's name actually is... terry... or teri... or something. hmmmm. i like to imagine the mental force of will required to not constantly go "yeah?" at your own name not being used to address you. acting!

here's where it starts to cross over into the gay danger zone, when hot topic says it's her first time cooking. and the turn of phrase she uses is that she's a... kitchen... virgin...?

is that... so...?

joey offers to boil some water and says it's a specialty of hers and they laugh awkwardly like two heteros having a hetero time. joey also starts to make a suggestion to hot topic, and i thought to myself, "is she going to tell her to go watch cartoons?" and that's Exactly what she fucking did. i bet hot topic is a big fan of the snorks.

that cookbook appears to be campbell's microwave cookbook, which is wonderful on about 15 different levels. microwave cookbook being levels one through ten.

hot topic dances on the edge of the gay event horizon by sneaking a peek in joey's closet Come On Now is this for real

and joey is apparently not that great with toast either so i don't know how these girls are going to feed each other after they defeat the hellraiser and get married.

one LITTLE detail left out until the change in camera angle is that hot topic isn't wearing any pants. that seems like it was pretty important information for me to have, for the f/f hellraiser 3 fanfic i am now writing.

everything is all fine and dandy until the music starts going again and hot topic gets upset. she really loves it here. she wants the movie to flip into a lesbian romcom instead of being the mind-crushing hack-and-slash that it is. you guys what if she gets hacked and slashed?! oh god i don't want it

"uhhh a guy's head exploded in the first six minutes; we can't go back." yes, joey has to solve this mystery, which, i mean, she's braver than me; if i watched a guy get blasted all over the hospital walls after chains pulled his head apart i'd have a repressed memory that wouldn't resurface until years and years later, at which point i'd pass out in the grocery store as a grown adult with kids or something, and when i came to i'd remember the hell out of it and wouldn't stop screaming until my vocal chords snapped.

oh my good god

there's something important happening here but all i heard was "we're going shopping." forrrrrr strap-ons?

oh, they came to the hobo man's art gallery that's only open at night, and that i keep calling the pyramidhead gallery in my head. also check out those pants. yikesaroo! i can hear 1992's sears catalog calling from a landfill!

gracious me this whole ensemble! noooo.

"maybe they're closed." they're not closed, they just cannot let you in dressed like you belong in a parade on stilts. it will offend the art and we'll have more bad guys roaming around in the spooky shadows.

some man with a dog across the street says the pyramidhead gallery is closed every day, except for he apparently doesn't know it's open exclusively at 12:01 am. he says it's been there for months, closed. hot topic says that's bs; her boyfriend just bought something there last week. ew so the boyfriend that threw her out is imitation danny zuko. girl, run far away because that guy's busy communing with unholy messenger rats.

then for no reason at all, this poor pup gets dragged away by its neck, growling because dogs know stuff. does the dog also know its owner is an irresponsible sack of shit who needs to learn what a proper harness is? sheesh.

"chill," hot topic says. "there's a back door, right?" and then she pulls a lock pick out of her tits. like, not on a chain or anything, so i guess it was just resting freely in her cleavage. another important detail for my fanfiction.

there are more ugly paintings inside but joey gets right down to business and finds a file drawer that's pretty much exactly like every file drawer we have at work. just full of accordion folders with papers shoved in them.

"ughhh," joey says, "this is gonna take Forever." i literally... had that moment with my boss at work yesterday trying to find some paperwork. but it's not gonna take forever, not with the music going, it's not...!

the most illuminating revelation is that the gallery is a total scam; everything they have comes from bankruptcy sales, high school art classes, insane asylums... wait, what? uh oh.

uhhhhh ohhhhhhh.

thankfully we leave immediately and head straight back to the loser room. yeahhhh fistbump brah! fistbumps existed in 1992! imagine that. we can truly trace all tradition back to our ancestors.

danny zuko spies a hot blonde and motions to his mark sheppard-looking bartender that he wants to hit that, so the bartender pulls a rose out from the... ice bin...? "here babe take a cold-ass rose" "oh baby the frozen petals are burning me up" - is that what's supposed to happen?

so danny zuko comes over, the girl's like, "oh, it's you~" and he tells her she's beautiful she says "oh no there's lots of girls here more beautiful than me" and he pretends like he cares about how she feels blah blah blah

and then we come to sex noises so the arctic rose worked pretty well. i think i'll spare you a screenshot of the actual sex; i'd rather take a picture of a head split in half. my favorite part though is that he constantly has his hands on her tits so you don't see any nip. so we can watch the other graphic shit we've seen and yet we're not allowed to look at a boob? the fuck?

oh ps the statue is in the background, watching them.

and at the exact moment danny zuko comes (ugh) the statue's eyes open. ohhhhhhhhhhhohohoho fcukinggfkhgkldhgl

then the eyes close again.

hot topic and joey are back at her apartment. joey's broken out of a pair of scully specs so i guess things have gotten serious in here.

hot topic prepares to walk out the door and joey is like HOLD ON???? WHY LEAVE??

she's trying to get some tape and succeeds and this is extremely untoward and i am offended!!!

hot topic guesses joey got what she needed, and prepares to show herself out. joey's face immediately falls and she's like no????? and she invites hot topic to stay in her spare room.

hot topic gets very emotional and says that's great, and offers to do breakfast! oh boy!!

even at the thought of inedible trash breakfast, joey is thrilled. this is Fucking Gay

"so cool... Radical!"

the girl danny just boned stands in front of this painting which, to be honest with you? kind of looks like dukat? maybe dukat if he roided up before the reckoning.

danny's already done with this and has important things to do like getting a scuff off his ugly red cowboy boots. it all goes south pretty fast.

"but you gave me a rose."

"and tomorrow, i'll give one to somebody else." ooooooh

"you shit," the girl says, speaking the truth.

there's yelling, the girl backs up toward the statue, i'm biting my nails because something's clearly gonna happen

LAUGHS NERVOUSLY OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO

chains, chains, it's always chains, hooked chains come out of the statue and sink into her. danny zuko, for as vile as he is, didn't plan this at all as even he's like "what the ffffuuuuuuccckkkk"

hello!! furby's awake!

the statue gets one more hook right into her forehead and then? and THEN, the all-time grossest fucking thing happens, and i swear to god i'm not making this up but also you're kidding if you think i'll actually screenshot it: the hook pulls THE ENTIRETY OF THE GIRL'S SKIN OFF HER BODY IN ONE SHOT, and THEN, STILL ALIVE and screaming bloody fucking murder, the girl, looking like a page out of any muscular system biology book, is DIGESTED BY THE STATUE.

and then once properly absorbed, her face appears SO ALL THE FACES ON THIS STATUE ARE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SKINNED AND EATEN HKFLGRHLGKLSKB I'M SCREECHING

i guess a nutritious meal was just the thing to get ol stoneface back to normal. HE'S HERE, THIS IS HIM, THIS IS THE GUY!! jake says his name is pinhead? just going to call him pincushion, hope that's okay. honestly it's more like nailcushion, those look like a bunch of nails sticking out of him. why does he love metal so much!!!

and all danny zuko has to say is "jesus christ!" like he couldn't even pretend to barf.

and pinhead FUCKING RESPONDS: "not quite." buddy, i'll say.

he starts getting poetic and i never expected him to have an accent. who do you think you are, shakespeare? i've never heard of shakespeare writing a scene where taming of the shrew ends with a flesh barbecue.

pinhead does one fun thing which is compare himself to danny zuko, which in my mind is exactly right but danny zuko cries and whines and says "no that's fuckin evil man!!!" yeah, just. like. you!

according to pinhead, there's no good, there's no evil, only flesh. is this what he does, just eats people? i didn't expect this either.

"you will help me," he says.

no Fuckin way danny zuko says, bringing out a gun like this is going to do anything other than increase pinhead's desire for flesh cakes.

oh my god and then pinhead laughs and says "how touching, that is the gun you used to kill your parents?" LMAO WHAT????

zuko unloads the gun and pinhead spits every bullet out of his mouth. just lets em drop right out onto the floor. danny zuko then drops his gun.

looks like you're in this for the long haul, pal!

he drops to the floor and starts sobbing. puny man sobbing in his boxers dot jpg.

there is a place, pinhead says, at his right hand for this manchild. yucky.

aaaand true to form, danny zuko takes a minute to think it over and then signs right up. this is so insulting to danny zuko; maybe i ought to start calling him his real name which is JP, which also is not really a name.

meanwhile, joey is full on channeling murphy brown and lookin cute. her friendly grandpa cameraman runs up to give her a package. something for her story? mmm something for something. grandpa cameraman, ever a decent person (oh god what if HE dies?) says if there's any way he can help, just give him a call. i think the first thing he can do to help is contact a priest specializing in exorcisms, get to that statue, and end this before it starts hopping railroad tracks.

scully specs are back on, tape is in the vcr, quest to quit smoking is shot, and we are go.

the tape is of a girl in a room at what looks like that asylum that was referenced before, and she's talking about The Box.

"demons," she says. "demons live in the box." well girl, we are way past that, the demons are out of the box, in statues, in hospitals, that box barely has anything to do with anything anymore.

"it's a gateway to hell." yeaarrrrgghhhhh somebody close it, then!

this is a really nice shot, i just wanted to stop everything and have you look at it. hands!

uhhh thennn the tv switches to an image of a dude

and that dude

starts talking

to joey

NOOOOOOOOPE

"she's telling the truth, joey," this guy that sounds Suspiciously like pinhead says.

joey tries to rewind the tape to see what the hell that was, but there's nothing out of the ordinary there... nnnnggghhhhgdhflk

anyway, demons live in the box. it "opens itself", they come out, that's the sitch. fuck all this.

s-s-s-speaking of the b-b-b-box, here it is at joey's apartment, where hot topic is currently all alone. god if anything happens to her i will be devastated beyond belief. pleeeease don't eat her please don't eat her.

hot topic stares at the box the same way i stare at the box: with off-the-charts trepidation. but she notices what i also noticed, that it looks a little different, like now it has color.

"man, joey must've polished you up some, huh?" oh no please don't

i'm pretty much. gonna shit. please put it down please please please joey will be so sad if you are dead and i can't take it!

oh god and then the phone rings and she puts it down thank jesus

absoLutely not the phone call i wanted her to get.

jp wants hot topic to come over. no no, no, no no no, no, and no!

pleeeeeease just wait for joey to get home she'll protect you and you can both be safe! if you go over to jp you're literally going to be devoured by a hell beast aaaaahhhhhhhh

well thank the lord she says she just can't and slams down the phone. score one for pure love! can you win against the delicate softness of girls being nice to each other, pinhead, can you?!

uh wait, then hot topic triggers joey's messages and it sounds like cameraman telling her she got a job that she wanted across the country. ??? what happened to pure love?!

joey comes home and the place is just a sty. it's dark and hot topic's not there.

and she finds this note that says, "enjoy monterey, you liar".

welp, love is dead and the demons are coming! might as well start breaking ourselves down into bite-sized chunks!

that's all for this evening. we’ll have another fun jaunt tomorrow! now, what do you think is the best technique for cutting off your own arm? just grab a hacksaw and go to town?

[dekumidoriyall]

One of the hardest things about sharing a space with someone is the transparency that kinda comes with it. It's harder to hide your bad hair days or your bad moods, mostly your truest selves.

However, that's not bad in itself, it's refreshing at the end of it all. During January I was fighting against the current i think (not to say don't fight against every current, there are some you should flow with and some you shouldn't). I didn't want my truest and emotional self to show and it was a struggle coming "home" and it felt like I couldn't unwind. I put home in quotes because at the beginning of the year I didn't call it that just bc it wasn't to me quite yet. Even when talking about it then, I would say the house or something along those lines.

Anyway, I was an emotional wreck in January. There was strife so much in my life and relationships and it wasn't even my truest self, it was the byproduct of not being transparent, of having to be "on" all the time. Which backfired by creating a burnout in me which turned me kinda bitter and I would say one of my least favorite versions of myself that I could be.

God is doing a great work in me though. Although my depression days are some of the toughest (though not as bad as the suicidal depression I used to have), they have lessened since January, and I still feel mentally stronger in some of those moments. The biggest thing however, is God's ability to move and talk through people. And no one has ever been able to get through to me besides that boy, but I honestly think it's a combination of who he is, and most importantly how He is. (capital H means Pops™ [God]) because on one hand, God has opened my heart and ears to be willing to see the weeds Hes trying to pull out of my heart. Causing conflicts to highlight some of the things I can change. I know now I am not bound to who I was or even who I am at this moment, but who I am in Christ, and more importantly who I will be.

And I was struggling so hard to be the jazz that's fun and goofy all the time, and not ever letting myself relax and just be neutral me, that things became chaotic. But God shed light on that and many other things since then. So first there's conflict with the boy which brings to light some shit I was doing. Then god is like hey maybe listen, bc you don't have to be this way.

I literally burnt out so much, not only was i, in turn, not acting like myself, but I was pushing others away. But thank you God, bc the boy was patient anyway and i respect him.enough to take his opinions on me. Bc dad has said some things about me that AJ did, but I don't respect his opinions of me bc he hasn't tried looking past the surface, and the boy does, he sees things a bit more dimensionally, and a lot of people don't.

Once I started treating this place as a home, that there are any facets of me besides fun and good, that I have neutral times too and that I don't have to be "on" all the time, things started progressing. And God started working in me even more. Bc it says in scripture that you can't fix something that doesn't come to light. So by not letting myself be transparent in January it just created more problems plus a roadblock to advancing myself further. So of course I am in no way perfect, but I am striving for a Good Life in the will and ways of God. And I pray even when the going get tough, that I come out stronger and better and honest and transparent.

Anyway March has been a better month except for maybe around my bday when i was EXTRA MOODY ™. I am currently working on better communication and not acting on a feeling.

Example: the highlight of my month so far on the jazz improvement section is that a GIRL called an the other NIGHT and he went all the way outside and the speakers picked it up and this girl isn't even talking anything important, all I hear is all might. And I'm sorry but if you're calling bc you finished a series a boy really liked and talked about at 9 fucking pm, it's cause you kinda like him bc otherwise, send a fucking text. NOW, usually, and what I wanted to do was just get in a funk mood and go to sleep not tell the boy goodnight and honestly, the Lord was like "jazz, that'll make you feel worse, you're gonna have the same discussion you always have with the boy where he gets upset that you're upset and not communicating and then that's TWO problems you'll be upset about. " But He also said "focus on me and my word and my promises" and I was quickly reminded that I don't have to act on what i feel.

So I accepted that I was upset about it, but understood that I shouldn't be. And that I (capital.bold i) get to choose how to handle it. And that is such powerful thinking. So I showered off my bad mood and decided I wouldn't let it affect me in a way that I would in turn hurt myself (mentally or emotionally) or my relationship. And honestly?

I was better for it. Not only did I not cry myself to sleep like I probably would've, I also stopped a cyclical argument that me and ykw have had one too many times. Bc idk if y'all notice, but a lot of y'all's arguments are about the same thing in slightly different ways half the time. And arguments are just a symptom of a deeper issue, like in my case its not really about him being upset that Im upset about his girl friend; but really the underlying issue was that I don't communicate, but I act out in a cold shoulder kinda way (WHICH I AM IN CONTROL OF HOW I ACT, NOT HOW I FEEL). It's a small shift, but redirecting the focus from the symptom to the underlying reason, helps progress things a little better.

And so everyone's a winner when you don't act on how you feel sometimes. I did the opposite, I decided to make some jokes, and be affectionate despite me really wanting to cry. But tbh in the shower I was like if i actually have to fight for the boys attention, it's not worth it. I'm not here to compete with other girls. (God is not going to give me a man who would put me through that, so I know my future is secure, maybe not with the boy but with a man of God. No boy is worth feeling overlooked or underappreciated. No man of God will make you compete for his attention, for some of the fruits of the spirit are love and faithfulness. There's no room for the "fruits" of the flesh like jealousy and anger). So I feel secure in God. And getting to know God better has made a big difference. I know that he isn't circumstancial. HE IS. And that's so good and lovely. He is who he is no matter who I am or who other people are. And He will make all things good, even my mistakes! The enemy thought he won bc Jesus died, but He rose again and defeated death! How good is the Lord! To make what seemed like the worst day, the best thing to ever happen for believers. And God has never not come through. He makes a way where there is none! :) Man I'm all fired up! Lol I guess I kind of went on a Jesus tangent bc I could have never made the decision to not be moody after that call without Him. It was because of my confidence in God (not man or boy) that I was able to act in good faith. And I pray i can handle situations to come like that more often to the point where it's habit :)