#jesse loves him though and doesn't blame him for being scared

[enden-agolor]

For the FD au Lukas is getting adventure gear that he wears when he's out doing his biome research 🤗 He can't always be wearing his professional attire, don't wanna risk dirtying it up. Also Dewey is his adventure companion he found and adopted while traveling.

[bored-storyteller]

Notes: slight angst/comfort, implied Spider!Reader, someone teach me spanish please

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse, Miguel O'Hara x Reader

When you become his hero

Miguel never demanded to be loved again, and he always tried to avoid loving again, or at least to love in such an intense and exasperated way.

Yet, despite what he likes to tell about himself, Miguel O'Hara is terrible with his feelings. Even the sweetest and most tender ones become heartbreaking and devastating with time.

But in all of this you have been an infinite doubt and at the same time a fixed point since you arrived.

The stereotype of the hero, Jess had called you one day, laughing, because you ran to go and take care of something like moving the boxes of someone you didn't even know, in a dimension not yours.

Miguel had seen you go by without even having time to focus.

"They do it just for the pleasure of helping." Spider-woman had justified your enthusiasm with that sentence.

He'd laughed at it without even really understanding it, but deep inside he'd felt a surge of admiration for your dedication to your task, be it for your being a hero or a human.

In your silence he had seen you several times helping those who came to you. He'd seen you covered in bandages, cradling Mayday after a long day, he'd seen you listening to Peter patiently even though your gaze said you just wanted some peace, he'd seen you high-five the wayward punk kid and he didn't even know the reason. And in all of this you smile, always.

You were always smiling, except with him. Or rather, it's not that you didn't show him your kindness or that you were serious when you were together, but there was a stiffness in your shoulders that he didn't see with others.

"I think they like you." Lyla said.

I scare them, Miguel had told himself, and he didn't blame you, nor was he willing to change that. Maybe he would, maybe he wants to, but the multiverse is so fragile, and you so powerful, and he is so wrong.

Despite what he likes to tell about himself, Miguel is the first one to be a mistake.

He had sought happiness once, he had destroyed it forever, he would never do it again.

And despite what he likes to tell about Miguel O'Hara, there are times when the roaring beast is stronger than the icy hero dedicated to duty.

He can't even say why he screamed, why his claws are stuck in the wall in front of him, in a vain grip, perhaps out of anger or desperation.

"Miguel…?"

Your voice suddenly makes him nauseous. He was alone until a moment ago, you weren't supposed to be there. Why did you come in just then?

There's your touch, your hand sliding between the wall and his palm, you hold him gently, and suddenly it wakes him up.

Miguel O'Hara is really terrible with feelings, they are always so devastating.

"No me mires." He murmurs, his hand covers the fangs and for some reason he wants to hide, he doesn't want to be seen, he doesn't want you to see him.

"No me mires, no me mires." Your delicate grip is undone as he slips away from you, his face pressed into his palms as he takes a step back, away.

He doesn't want you to see him like this but at the same time he thanks whoever he has to thank that it’s you who are there to see him.

Even though his shoulders are close, even though he tends to lean in on himself, he seems anything but fragile. He is huge, almost bestial, yet even if he is strong and big you see him suffering.

"Hey, it's okay. You're cool, really."

He didn’t believe you.

He feels you waver, and he honestly doesn't know how to look you in face, maybe out of shame, maybe out of fear of scaring you more than he already does, maybe because you could read his innermost thoughts that torment him.

You say nothing more, and neither does he. There is silence and perhaps you are gone. He is too agitated to understand it, he must calm down, he must find his demeanor so hated by everyone.

But when his chest fills with air, and his hands slowly drop as he squares his shoulders, he realizes you're still there, silent, a glass of fresh water in your hands.

You reach out to him, almost shyly, and he looks, undecided whether to accept or not. There's confusion in his head, he doesn't know what to admit and what not, he doesn't know what would hurt him more and what would hurt you.

"Thank you." He finally tells you, taking what you offer him.

The water in his throat slides down faster than he'd like, giving him more refreshment than he'd admit.

He leans back in the chair while you retrieve the glass from his hands as if it were natural to do so.

His forefinger and thumb nervously massage his temples, and Miguel knows it's to avoid looking at you, but he can't even admit it to himself. Miguel knows that he should apologize, but doing so would mean discovering that he is weak, and he is not afraid of you, but of himself.

"Hard work?"

It's your voice that interrupts the cold silence, and he looks at you almost moved by that naive, superficial question, which doesn't even scratch the surface of everything he has in mind.

But when his eyes meet yours, he realizes that he is the naive one, that you have entered in him more than he hoped and that this is your way of protecting his fragility, the way he wants.

"Yes I'm sorry." Now it's easy to tell you, now that his wall is intact around him "Why are you here anyway?"

Your lips open to say something, then close again. You think, and then here's your answer: "To help you with your work."

Miguel doesn't remember sending for you, he didn't. Yet he accepts that you put behind the real reason why you came, for him. For once you exist for him, and it's wrong to want it, yet he can't refuse it.

And as he feels you working there beside him, as his elbow brushes yours, he thinks he might be wrong. Maybe the non-canon might be more important than the canon, maybe it might still be happiness for the tragic hero somewhere. Or maybe not.

"Thank you." He tells you again, as he settles back on the semi-reclined backrest. You look at him suddenly distracted, and for once he remains helpless under your gaze, for once he seeks complicity with someone other than him.

You smile at him, and you have to admit that you like seeing him like this.

"Anything you want, boss." You wink, going back to doing that part of the work that he would do, but that he leaves to you just to have those two extra minutes of your presence.

You make him smile. Miguel really smiles, how strange to feel his muscles contract like that. You are sweet, pleasant, reassuring for him.

Maybe that's why you're a hero, a normal, simple hero.

[scoobydoodean]

❤️ Dean Being Love to Others ❤️

Season 1 Part 2

master post here (still being updated)

1.10 "Asylum": Immediately after Sam, while mind controlled by Dr. Ellicott, blasts Dean through a wall with a shotgun full of rock salt, says some big meanie things to him :( and then tries to shoot him in the head over and over... after knocking Sam out, Dean pats Sam on the shoulder and says, "Sorry Sammy" because he knows Sam's jaw is going to hurt when he wakes up jhvsdjvgjhsfdgj

1.11 "Scarecrow": Sam and Dean fight and part ways at the beginning of the episode. Dean could probably use help on the case, but he doesn't ask for it when they finally do call—he does the opposite when Sam asks if he's hinting he needs help. He says, "You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life. You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy." At the end of the episode, after Sam comes back, Dean also doesn't assume he'll stay and asks if he can drop him off anywhere. (Gifset)

1.12 "Faith": Dean struggles with believing Layla deserves to live far more than he does. He struggles both with his own "healing" being prioritized over hers, as well as having to stop the reaper so no one else gets hurt when Layla is the next to be healed.

1.13 "Route 666": DEAN WAS IN LOVE WITH CASSIE. HE WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HER THAT HE TOLD HER THE TRUTH. And even though he was hurt because of how they broke up, the moment she called and she needed his help, he jumped to go help her no questions asked, no hesitation.

1.14 "Nightmare" #1: When Max is about to shoot his step-mother, Dean steps between her and the gun and tells Max he has to go through him first.

1.14 "Nightmare #2: Throughout the episode, Dean does his best to reassure Sam that everything is going to be okay, that his visions do not scare Dean, that he is not going to turn into a monster. This culminates in, at the end of the episode, Dean telling Sam nothing bad is going to happen to him as long as Dean is around. Dean won't let it.

1.16 "Shadow": Dean lets go of what he personally wants, which is him, Sam, and John all together, and advocates for himself and Sam to separate from John because he believes that they'll be a liability (I also think he's incorrect but I do think it's still an example of him being selfless).

1.18 "Something Wicked" #1: Dean crouches down to be at eye level with Michael when he sees him upset. He tells Michael that it is not his fault that his brother got sick when Michael blames himself.

1.18 "Something Wicked" #2: Dean drives Michael's mom to the hospital because he recognizes she's in no condition to drive.

1.18 "Something Wicked" #3: Dean checks in with Michael again right before the plan to catch the Shtriga, and tells him, "Michael, you sure you wanna do this? You don't have to, it's ok, I won't be mad."

1.18 "Something Wicked" #4: There are multiple small examples of the contrast of a child's innocence and Dean's lack of innocence in childhood, and kid Dean makes the decision from childhood through the present to not resent Sam for having that innocence but to try and protect that innocence. And even as an adult, when Sam says, "Sometimes I wish I could have [the innocence of not knowing what's out there]", Dean replies, "If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too"—saying nothing of his own stolen childhood.

1.19 "Provenance": Dean is worried about Sam losing himself in research and not pursuing relationships (like with Sarah Blake) because of Jess. He tells Sam as gently as he can that he thinks Jess would want Sam to be happy.

1.21 "Salvation" #1: Sam begins to say that Mary and Jess's deaths are all his fault and that he has to fix it. Dean tells him fiercely that it is not his fault and that fixing it is a "we" problem.

1.21 "Salvation" #2: Dean holds Sam back from running into a building burning to the ground (which would instantly kill him) to try and reach the demon.

1.21 "Salvation" #3: When Sam throws him up against a wall, instead of matching Sam's rage, Dean speaks to him gently or calmly and is able to get through to him.

1.21 "Salvation" #4: Dean asks John to promise him that he'll get out if things go sideways with tricking Meg.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #1: Dean says that if finding the demon means John or Sam getting themselves killed for revenge, he hopes they never find it.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #2: Dean brings The Colt in secret when they go to save John even though he knows John would be furious, then uses it to save Sam's life.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #3: Dean says he's actually scared of what he's capable of doing to protect Sam and John.

1.22 "Devil's Trap" #4: Dean is badly hurt and bleeding out after being attacked by Yellow Eyes, but begs Sam to check on John and see if he's okay.

[msookyspooky]

Heyo so I say your severen birthday post and it got me thinking. So I went to Disney world for my birthday and I was thinking what if severen takes his mate and the gang to Disney 😭(at night of course) I can see Jess and sev eating a turkey leg and Caleb and Mae taking a romantic walk and diamond dragging homer to get photos 😭

I srsly love this I definitely don't watch Near Dark and think Disneyworld but it's so perfect bc they've lived so long you can't tell me they haven't been to an amusement park including disneyworld with how huge it is.

I bet ur b day was fun!!! I went to that place ONE time at 8 years old and it quite literally rained on my parade and some of the rides 🥲 It was thundering and cloudy during the wait for the haunted mansion which was my favorite so that was a neat memory tho. So if I'm rusty, srry I have vague memories there 😭

Severen Taking his S/O to Disneyworld

- For one, they definitely did not have money to go in, not even 80's money. They probably couldn't steal enough or didn't care to so they snuck in somehow (Severen is old af and probably knows a secret entrance from when it was first built.)

- Severen found a micky mouse hat with ears and wore it just to be goofy

- Speaking of goofy...Severen and Jesse scare the actors in costume there. Severen definitely took a picture with you but whispered some terrifying shit in Goofy's ear just to watch him try to run in those shoes (He laughed his ass off too.)

- You are so right!! Severen and Jesse are eating the most basic, filling foods. He may sample your dole whip or funnel cake but he rarely eats this type of human food and he's making it worth it by eating a huge turkey leg.

- You all definitely cut in line...Do you think SEVEREN is going to stand for an hour or more for rides??? He is finding a way in probably from killing and drinking a staff member and getting their key cards to use backdoors.

- Jesse and DB venture off to Epcot just to leisurely stroll around sample different foods and listen to music and dance together...They still get odd looks and creep everyone out. A child definitely cried when Jesse stared them down for staring at him first.

- Caleb and Mae are hand in hand in line to go on the haunted mansion (It's just so they can makeout in the cars after Mae gets 'scared'. They rarely get alone time in the group.)

- Homer goes off adventuring by himself (He just doesn't want anyone see him actually enjoy peter pans flight like a kid.)

- You and Sev go on an adventure. He is high energy, playful, adventurous and eager to do things so expect for him to ask you where to go but if you say 'it's up to you'...He is dragging you everywhere 🤣

- Severen's favorite rides are actual Rollercoasters that have his adrenaline pumping (Imagine if he's never been on one? He'd love it!) the crazier the better and that nut job is laughing his ass off while your screaming...This man would love Tower of Terror or Rock n Rollercoaster or even more 'tame' rides like ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter if he got to see it before it closed

- He does enjoy more lowkey rides though like a ferris wheel or haunted mansion if it involves you cuddle up to him but please do not take him on its a small world he will complain the entire time and if he's got that damn song stuck in his head; he's blaming you ☠️

- Homer loves it bc even tho he wants to be perceived as an adult; this is the one place he goes and being a kid actually gets him better treatment than everyone else in the group.

- Mae loves talking to the princesses and Caleb loves the rides he rode as a kid before Sarah was even born like Space Mountain or Pirates of the Caribbean

- DB loves the family time you all rarely get often going your seperate ways to feed everynight

- You all meet back up at least an hour before it closes to spend that 'family time' together.

- Severen or Jesse or both know the most unsettling deaths and secrets about the place and Severen points out "Oh some girl was crushed between those two walls" too casually. Severen acted like he was going to jump in the water on Jungle Cruise claiming there's actual alligators and when you told him "Nuh uh" he was going to prove it. You just about yanked him off his feet to sit back down

- Everyone argues over what the last 'family' attraction should be

- If it involves shooting and competition tho? Every single one of them from Jesse to Caleb is having a blast

- You probably convince them to go on splash mountain just for the picture at the end. Sadly someone had to sit out (Jesse or DB for sure) So in order: Jesse or DB in the back, Homer, You, Guess Who, Mae, Caleb 😭

- You are so right DB is dragging Homer to take photos like the Mom she is 🥰

- You all stay to watch some fireworks but sneak back out halfway through before everyone else starts leaving

- The night is young and you all go get ACTUAL nourishment with blood but it's a fun time and you all have souvenirs from pics to merchandise

- Severen definitely won, stole or even bought you a cute niche character merch you love to keep for ur special day 💞

[purplebass]

This refers to my earlier parallel post over here. I didn't want to make a long caption, so here it is.

Jesse and Grace meta, Jesse and the Herondales meta.

Jesse is torn because he loves Grace, but at the same time: 1) he doesn't like what she did and hasn't processed it bc he's just learned about it! -- we know, later on, that he forgives Grace even though we don't get to see them talk about it, which also means that probably Jesse doesn't need to talk about it, he just decides to forgive Grace and as a reader, it is shown to us when Grace runs to the Institute all wet and scared and Jesse doesn't hesitate to go to her and after that, we see how they're back to their sibling dynamic. Even ghost!Kit tells Grace that Jesse believes in her;

2) he feels like he failed as her brother because he couldn't protect her, and since he only appeared as a ghost at night, he couldn't stop all of this from developing how it did - he physically wasn't there, and since he was the one to insist on getting the runes who killed him, in a way he's blaming himself. From the things he says, it's evident that Jesse, despite looking confident, blames himself for having failed Grace;

3) he also feels loyal to the Herondales, by this point. It isn't just because he loves Lucie and because she gave him his life back, which, even if he didn't love Lucie, he'd be forever grateful for. He could have loved Lucie but at the same time, not liking her family or not being liked by her family. Think about Romeo and Juliet. Lucie and Jesse are often compared to them in CoG/CoI. When Will and James first met Jesse, they're wary of him, but then they come to trust him, and welcome him in their family, in their group, and at the London Institute, and he eases himself into their family dynamics as if he had always been there. Jesse feels grateful to the Herondales: they gave him a roof over his head, clothes, food, and their trust in him, something he never expected considering it was his mother conspiring to hurt them all these years. They could've well kicked him to the curb and opposed to his relationship to Lucie. I'm sure Jesse would've managed anyway, but he didn't have to, because the Herondales are like that. Will said that Lucie likes to save abandoned sparrows, but Will is like that too, and so is Tessa (the woman still hoped that Tatiana could be saved). And knowing that Jesse sacrificed his last breath to give it to James is enough for Will to trust Jesse, who "gave up his life" to save James, a stranger.

Between past and future And to go back to the Grace point, even James wouldn't hold it against Jesse, if he forgave Grace. I think that, by that point, Jesse already forgave Grace but his loyalty and gratefulness towards the Herondales made him unable to pick a side --- Jesse doesn't want to pick a side. He wants both: Grace, aka his connection to his old life before dying and during his time as a ghost, and Lucie and the Herondales + his extended family, which represent his new life after he was revived. A life he hadn't had the chance of living, in which he can finally have control over what he wants to say or do, and become the person he wanted to be and couldn't be, because of the circumstances (being a ghost). Jesse wants to forgive and protect Grace, whom he cares for, but at the same time, he doesn't want that his choice pits him against Lucie and her family, whom he also loves. It's a tough choice, if you think about it, and that's why, in a way, he wants to talk to James first. He wanted to be sure that James was okay if he forgave Grace, that things won't change if he did that, bc Jesse liked how things were progressing between them. Heck, by the end of that chapter 16, James acknowledges that he and Jesse can be friends and he and Jesse both didn't expect that. Like I said, even if Jesse will marry Lucie in the future, James isn't expected to be the best bro with him. Just look at him and Alastair. James doesn't hate Alastair, but he doesn't love him either. They tolerate each other because Alastair is his brother-in-law, but at the moment, there is no indication that he and Alastair will be more than cordial with each other and become superb friends. On the other hand, James and Jesse experienced the same trauma: they were manipulated like a puppet and stripped of their freewill. Many relationships are born on shared experiences, because we feel like the other person understands us, what we went through. And Jesse understands James, and what drove Jesse mad is not just what his mother had done to James, but that it had been Grace, the sister he loves, that had been her mother's instrument to do that to James. And it sort of reflects on Jesse and his own experience. Jesse is a logician character, he ponders the things he says and does, he seems very confident of what he says or does, sometimes even arrogant, and he doesn't seem to like when things don't go as planned, or he couldn't make them go the way he liked them to be. It was easy for him as a ghost, he could just disappear. But this is real life, and he didn't expect Grace to act like she did. He didn't expect Tatiana to use Grace that way. He knew that Tatiana was problematic, but he was shaken when he discovered the extent of her revenge. Jesse was afraid to lose the Herondales and their friends and Grace too, since she was locked in a prison and he might've become lonely as when he was a ghost, if he had. And he didn't want that. That's why he probably went for the "easier" way and initially didn't openly forgive Grace in the prison and in front of James. Because Jesse ponders a lot, and he is also very caring and forgiving, in the end, he always knew that his sister was already forgiven in his heart, and that he wouldn't lose the Herondales in the process.

TLDR; Bottom line is that I don't find Jesse's reaction OOC, for the things I have explained. We have to remember that the Jesse we "knew" before CoT is the Jesse we saw interacting with Lucie and fewer times (I think just once or twice, at max), with Grace. Even so, we knew the Jesse through Grace's eyes. We didn't know the "real" Jesse, the living Jesse, the Jesse who interacts with living people like him, and we got to know him as he interacted with the rest of the characters. Even so, his personality shone through, to me. Like I said, Jesse is a very rational character. He sees the facts, and tries to find the best way to solve problems in a realistic approach, but he also has a little hard time giving up his control (that's why he's super mad when Lucie commanded him as a ghost). That's why, in my opinion, his dynamic with Lucie works. She's his opposite, and gives him the thrill of the irrational, the unexpected, the illogical - you name it, that he finds so hard to give up. While at the same time being reliable and confident and steady, someone who thinks a lot and is very loyal if he loves you. And it is clear, as it was stated several times, that Jesse loves Lucie, but he also cares for Grace and he wants Grace in his life.

[easthavenhq]

Cooper Hawkins is looking for his youngest sister!

Character: Cooper Hawkins

Type of Connection: Youngest Sister

WC Name: Megan Hawkins (Meg)  

Age Range: 28-30 (there's a big age different between them) 

FC Options: Melissa Roxburgh, Danielle Campbell (anyone you think who looks like Jesse Lee Soffer) 

Would you like to be contacted?: Yes please! 

Connection Description:

tw: sibling death, tw: drowning accident, tw: boating accident, tw: mental abuse mention, tw: emotional abuse mention, tw: physical abuse mention

Ryan Hawkins was the first of the Hawkins clan, then Ethan, then Annie, then Cooper and finally the baby Megan whom they all called Meg. Growing up Cooper idolized his older siblings, his brothers were his best friends and his sister Annie was someone whom he admired and aspired to be like. Meg was someone Cooper always took care of and adored and wished to protect with everything he had. He made a promise to himself to always watch out for Meg. The Hawkins siblings were well known and well liked by the town and could do no wrong.

They were one big happy family. They were fun and successful and everyone loved them. That was until one 4th of July Annie and Cooper had decided to take their family boat out onto the water alone, without their parents permission. Thomas and Heather were too busy at the diner to notice they were gone. He was eleven at the time and Annie was a little bit older. They drove it illegally, neither of them having a boating license but Annie really wanted to go and she always had a way of making Cooper follow in her footsteps. So he did, because all he cared about at the time was if Annie was happy.

They were having a good time and being safe until Annie decided to jump into the water after Cooper had told her and begged her not too. It was a while until Cooper had realized she hadn’t come up from the water. Panicked and scared, Cooper illegally drove the boat back to shore for some help. Once reaching his parents & some cops, they ruled it as a drowning accident. This nearly destroyed not only the family but the town. They always said that Annie held the family together and her death tore it apart.

His father was furious and devastated and wrongfully accused & blamed Cooper for Annie’s death even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. Growing up for Cooper wasn’t easy anymore. He wasn’t the happy go lucky kid he used to be. His father mentally, and sometimes would physically and emotionally abuse him . It went on for years, and his two older brothers followed in their fathers footsteps. Cooper closed himself off and didn’t talk to them until he actually needed too. The only ones who truly cared about him and were worried about his well being was his mother & his little sister Meg. He was thankful for them even if he didn’t show it often.

Cooper & little sister are super close. After Annie's death, since Megan was little and doesn't remember much, he sworn to himself that he'd protect her at all costs and not let anything bad happen to her. She and his mother were the only ones who cared about his well being. This character can be 100% up to you, though I'd like to keep her background please.

[ziracona]

What do you see happening after Josh is being rescued? Does he meet everyone of his friend eventually or some of them keep their distance? I read one of your answers about them abandoning him and honestly I don't think they didn't care at all about him, but the events were so traumatic and scary that they probably had a hard time taking into consideration that small possibility of him being alive. Plus I guess it's also part of the smooth flow of the game if it makes sense, Mike doesn't go after Jess either after he sees her falling into the mines and accuses Josh of killing her without being 100% sure that she is dead and without seeing Josh around when shit happened to her. But if I were Josh maybe I would be upset knowing they didn't come for me at all. So how would a reunion go?

That’s valid! You can interpret the lack of an interest in rescuing Josh to multiple things—that they are very sure he’s dead, if you want to be as generous as possible to them. That they think he’s probably dead and are afraid of dying too more than willing to save him, that they’re (sans Chris) too mad about the prank he pulled, etc. And I can see why people would go for any number of them. I think to me it has always read like they think he is probably dead, and the whatever he has, 30%, 20% chance? Of still being alive just isn’t enough for them to feel motivated to face very likely death to go hunting for him, especially with flamethrower dude just dead doing the same. Which makes /me/ angry, because Mike went batshit after seeing Jess wounded and dragged through a window and more trying to save her, multiple characters can kill themselves trying to save the others in the finale, etc, and I just think if you /can/ save someone who is your friend—or like, you have a shot anyway—you don’t know it is too late. You should. (& true Jess can still be alive and Mike will assume she is dead, but in his defense, so do basically all blind playthroughs she looks like she falls four stories or something while already almost dead I can’t fault Mike for assuming that was a 100% death there. Boy really tried. Whereas Josh’s vanishing from the shed is much less confirmed. There is no ‘I watched him fall’ here. Just a neither he nor his dead body were still in the shed so /something/ happened). Like I do get it, that’s a terrifying situation and not helping doesn’t = not caring, but I will hold it against characters if they don’t risk themselves to save their friends and I will be unhappy with them. Loyalty is very important to me. But it is a truly terrifying situation.

But I also get why they’d be terrified to go out there. I don’t think it makes them evil to not want to risk it till they have to, it just makes me disappointed in them. I don’t think I said I think they didn’t care about him—typo if I did, because I certainly don’t think that at all! I think Chris was traumatized and felt very sure he was dead, Ashley didn’t care (she explicitly says she thinks he deserves it and tries to stop Chris from saving him the first time), Emily doesn’t care a lot one way or another and is mostly on her own trauma right now and thinking about Matt and the awful shit she saw, that Sam does care but thinks he is probably dead and is in team mom mode and cares more about trying to keep as many friends alive as possible right now than anything else and doesn’t want to lose the others, and Mike is still pissed but also feels very bad and would prefer for Josh to make it but is also more focused on group survival and not losing anyone else since he just lost someone he loves horribly (based largely on how his reaction to the safe room scenario is either to kill Emily and feel awful but do it because he very vocally and visibly doesn’t want the others to be killed and she won’t go peacefully, and he’s terrified of losing them, or to try but not be able to because he loves Emily, and instead give the gun to the others to try to save themselves with in the event she /does/ turn). And although he’s a right coward bastard for leaving Josh if Josh gets grabbed instead of killed, down in the mines, I do think he cared about Josh. He seems truly sorry to some extent when he finds him, and does /try/ to lead him out of the mines. At the point they make the decision to go for the cable car key, I don’t think they don’t care at all, except Ashley. I just think they should care more. Although I tend to give Chris a pass because he just watched a man get beheaded, has strong reason to think Josh is dead, is injured, and spends the entire rest of the game more or less in traumatized mode quiet in the corner.

But that said I can also see why people would interpret the reactions to mean they all believe he is very dead, and mean they’re going after his corpse! I can see lots of basis in-game to interpret in quite a number of ways. And be generous to the fool kids if you want to! I /super/ hold abandoning Josh in the mines wildly against Mike, but Mike is still one of my favorite characters in the whole game. I love how flawed the cast is and that you go in hating most of them and only slowly grow to care because you don’t want them dead-dead, which keeps you there long enough to see some of their good sides. *cheff’s kiss* the great ability of the horror genre. The bar to initially invest is so low, it lets you have such a multi-faceted cast.

Okay anyway, original question! What do I see happening after Josh gets rescued and exorcised.

I think he meets up with all of them again eventually. Interesting to think from Josh’s pov how he’s going to feel. I expect to some degree he does feel abandoned, and fairly, and in RoB it is very clear he is afraid to some extent of Mike and Chris after being dragged off and tied up and left in the shed, and the things they said to him. He also /definitely/ feels massively guilty and self-blaming about all of it. He’s telling himself through Hill that no one will come for him and it’s his own fault by the final chapter. And mostly he’s just afraid of Mike and in ptsd dissociating mode by the time Sam and Mike find him. So, mixed feelings on his part I expect. Lots of fear and pain and hurt at being abandoned and so universally believed capable of murder, hurt, left to die alone in the mines. Pretty damn betrayed, and that on top of the hurt from what happened to his sisters and the inherent paranoia of paranoid schizophrenia. Hurt that they just left him. Hurt they didn’t believe him. Hurt nobody came for him until it was too late. Hurt he got betrayed again. Probably pretty miserable overall. But with that, also feels really bad about going too far and hates and blames himself intensely for everything, and I expect is also kind of not just traumatized but ashamed of what happens to him, and everyone knowing about the possession and the cannibalism. Probably he wants to lock himself in a room in the corner of a big house and never come out. But also is intensely and miserably and hopelessly lonely. Probably feels all of his friendships are likely broken beyond repair.

I don’t think they are though. Chris “I’m not your bro” six seconds later “bro are you for real?” Hartley almost dies trying to save him and wouldn’t care about the possession stuff except to be worried about him. Sam is angry and harboring some resentment, but clearly reacts to Mike reporting he is gone with regret. Mike would probably feel very guilty for leaving him and be hesitant to reconnect and then defensive doing it, but I think he cares. Jess wasn’t even there for this shit so probably she does. Same for Matt maybe? Ashley and Emily are harder to guess for. I think Ashley would be incredibly angry and resentful—I mean she wants him dead in-game, but might eventually join the others if the others got over stuff? Bc she’s also kinda a joiner? Really it’s hard to say she is a very...hair-trigger character. Volatile and intensely and massively changeable. Probably the least predictable of all. That kind of person scares me deeply in real life because I have been very backstabbed by them before. >.> But anyway hard to say. Also a lot of this depends on what ending, even assuming they all live. But I usually assume that like, Mike almost shot Em, didn’t, Matt tried to save her, Sam saw the workshop, etc ending. Emily I really don’t know. She’s a very self-reliant and hard person. She didn’t have anything very specifically for or against Josh with her experience, but wasn’t that close to him before, so I think she just kinda falls wherever she falls.

I think mostly though that they’d reconnect. Definitely Chris would jump to it, and I think Sam would too—she’s a well educated, empathetic and understanding person. She’d know he needs her. And Chris is his childhood best friend and cares the whole game. I think Mike would try to go too because of guilt, and because he’s a decent guy. Probably so would after not much time those least effected by what Josh did. I think Josh would be alone while being exorcised and probably reocvering in a hospital some after, and Chris would be the first, or Chris and Sam possibly. I think he’d be afraid to see them, and it would be complicated and messy and painful for them all, but it would be okay and sort itself out and they’d find old ground quickly. And having them there would be /incredibly/ vital to helping him recover. I think eventually he’d get back on his feet, and a lot of his old friends would be around and stay in his life. I think things would get better. I’d say the OG ExorJosh comic writer I think did a good job of guessing about what a lot of it would be like. Hard, and slow, and messy. But a lot of them care for him, and I think that would matter enough to help things get okay between them again.

[mmikmmik2]

I think some of my previous posts may have put too much of the blame for violence against denizens on Simon, or overemphasized how important it was to make that distinction, but overall I do think he was more of a driving force there than Grace.

I have two arguments for why this doesn't make Grace too heroic. First, even if one of them were completely responsible for coming up with all of the bad parts of the Apex, the other one was still like "yeah that sounds awesome!!!" and happily went along with it, with no criticism and lots of encouragement. Grace has some culpability for everything bad Simon brought to the Apex; Simon has some culpability for everything bad Grace brought to the Apex. However much either of them contributed to the Apex's beliefs and practices that are violent towards denizens, both of them shared those beliefs and acted on those practices. They're both murderers.

Second, Grace clearly seems to me to be the driving force behind her and Simon's efforts to manipulate and brainwash the kids in the Apex and trick them into staying on the train forever, instead of just explaining about the True Conductor and how high numbers are good (i.e. the things Grace really did believe were true, based on an honest mistake) and the truth about exit doors and letting the kids make informed decisions about what to do next. Personally I think the harm she did there is underrated by fandom. Look at her in Mall Car. There is no way Jesse is better off on the dangerous Saw train than safe at home with his family he loves and misses. Grace didn't care. She tried to prey on a scared kid's emotional weaknesses and vulnerability to make him stay on the crappy train forever and betray his real friend who genuinely loves him and wants to help him, just so she could add one more kid to her crowd of toadies. She didn't think that's what she was doing, but that's what that was. It's despicable.

As for why I think Simon is more responsible for the violence against denizens... (1) his military thing (2) his emotional investment in violence against denizens - how he looks directly at them (and sometimes verbally mocks and dehumanizes them) as he's doing them harm, while Grace treats hurting them during raids more like another small component of the Look At Me, I'm So Great Show Starring Grace Monroe (3) Grace taking point on the occasions they do play along with denizens and her greater patience with train puzzles (4) this dialogue

Simon: I know you told me to loosen up, but we do have Apex procedures for something like this. Grace: Okay. Whaddaya got? Simon: When encountering a null that cannot be overwhelmed with force, nor avoided in its entirety, the null in question must be incapacitated. Grace: Hmmm. Now who could have written that one? Simon: (laughs) You know I don't like to take credit for things.

I mean, Grace is probably referring to the very formal phrasing, and I'm sure the rules are a formalization of the things they were already doing rather than the direct source of their SOP's, but it seems significant to me that the show took a moment to have them explicitly say that Simon wrote rules about how the Apex are supposed to deal with denizens.

We know that Grace at least contributed to the idea of wheeling denizens, the writing in Mall Car associates her with the idea, and it ties in well with what I said above about possibly her worst contribution the Apex being their recruiting practices, because wheeling denizens is associated with the attempts to recruit Jesse and Hazel and probably other recruitment that didn't occur onscreen.

Dream Hazel's dialogue at the start of New Apex seems really strange to me if Grace was more prominent than Simon in coming up with the wheeling idea, though.

Hazel: You killed Tuba! You killed Tuba! Grace: No, it was Simon! Hazel: He didn't come up with the idea to wheel denizens on his own! It's your fault she's gone!

Everything else Hazel says in this scene is so direct and so accusatory. She flat out says "You tried to control me!", she flat out says "You killed Tuba!", she flat out says "It's your fault she's gone!" I don't get why she would be vague and indirect about how Grace contributed to the wheeling idea if it were genuinely more on Grace than Simon. I mean, I guess maybe it's supposed to be bitterly sardonic? But nothing else in this scene is written like that. Everything else is 100% straight up Dream Hazel or Dream Grace hurling very direct accusations at Grace and assigning her the greatest possible culpability. I dunno, jeez, maybe Grace herself doesn't remember at this point. It's not like she knew how much it would affect her life when the idea first came up.

Ultimately all of this is really subjective and based on individual interpretation of very scant and ambiguous evidence. I would say there's probably some wrong answers haha (not your argument, you're making a reasonable case here), but not really any right answers.

[scoobydoodean]

❤️ Dean Being Love to Others ❤️

Season 1 Part 1

master post here

1.01 "Pilot": Dean is extremely lonely but when Sam tells him at the end of the Woman In White case that he needs to return to Stanford, Dean looks away so Sam doesn't see him upset, and then when he turns back he's smiling (very unconvincingly—but he's trying!!) so that Sam doesn't think it's a big deal, and reassures Sam that he'll be okay on his own so Sam doesn't worry.

1.02 #1: Even though they would work faster alone, Dean insists they ally themselves with Haley and her brother Ben on the trek through the forest, because he (identifying with Haley) knows they are definitely not going to be convinced not to go in the woods, and he wants to be there to protect them. He relates to and empathizes with Haley (the oldest) wanting to find her brother.

1.02 #2: Dean immediately chooses to act as bait in the Monster's lair, putting his life on the line, while Sam helps Haley and her siblings get out of the cave.

1.02 #3: Dean notices Sam is upset at the beginning of the episode and asks him if he wants to drive Baby (which Sam says Dean has never asked him in his life lmao)

1.02 #4 & #5: Sam has been understandably cranky for a lot of the episode, still raw from Jess's death, and in the forest in a quiet moment, Dean broaches the subject with Sam one-on-one, and talks to him very gently, calmly, and lovingly about how he can't let his anger tear him apart—how it'll kill him. When Sam asks how Dean copes with his anger and grief, the very first thing Dean does is point to Haley and Ben—people he barely knows—telling Sam part of how he copes is by saving other families so they can have what his family doesn't get to have.

1.03 "Dead In The Water" #1: Dean empathizes closely with Lucas. He approaches him even though Andrea (Lucas's mom) thinks it's useless, and tells Lucas about his own family and how scared he was as a kid so that Lucas knows someone understands. By doing so, Dean is able to get Lucas to communicate for the first time since his trauma, through his art. By the end of the case, Lucas is talking again.

1.03 "Dead In The Water" #2: Even though they got caught impersonating public workers by the Sheriff, who then gave them an out (leave town now and no trouble), Dean has a bad feeling and is so worried about Lucas and Andrea that he turns the car around, risking possible retaliation by the sheriff, even though Sam suggests the problem with the ghost has been resolved and there is nothing to worry about.

1.03 "Dead In The Water" #3: After kicking down the bathroom door where Andrea is locked in and drowning, Dean immediately grabs and hold onto Lucas, shielding him from potentially seeing his mother dead while Sam pulls her from the tub.

1.04 "Phantom Traveler" #1: Dean checks up on Sam about how he has been sleeping and about his nightmares. He isn't pushy or demanding.

1.04 "Phantom Traveler" #2: Dean faces his fear of flying and agrees to get on a plane that he knows a demon is going to try and crash, because he knows Sam will need help taking down a demon and they have people to save.

1.05 "Bloody Mary": Dean, the whole episode, is the figure speaking to the innocence of everyone blaming themselves for the deaths of others (which is what the whole case is about). 1) He logics a little girl (who 100% did summon Bloody Mary who then killed her dad) into believing that it couldn't have been Bloody Mary. I love the way he does this, because he doesn't say something like, "There's no such thing as Bloody Mary". He validates her fear as rational by not excusing it as a child's imagination or something silly. Instead, he applies what she knows about the legend itself, telling her it couldn't have been Bloody Mary, because her father didn't say the words. 2) He is the one who points out in the car that Charlie is innocent—she isn't responsible for the fact that her former boyfriend killed himself. 3) After a string of nightmares and lack of sleep that was already concerning Dean, when Sam indicates he blames himself for Jess's death and therefore will be perfect bait for Bloody Mary, Dean pulls the car over and pleads with Sam not to blame himself for Jess's death. He applies several very logical arguments for why it isn't Sam's fault, and even offers for Sam to blame him for Jess's death instead of himself.

1.06 "Skin" #1: Dean turns the car around to go back 400 miles because Sam just makes a face. THEN Sam insists on getting up to go investigate at 5:30 AM and he doesn't have a reason even to do it that early but Dean does it for him <3

1.06 "Skin" #2: In the car, Dean tells Sam that he's sorry—"I really wish things could be different. I wish you could just be Joe College". This is especially striking in context with Shifter!Dean's comments in the episode. When Sam admits that he never really felt like he fit in at Stanford, Dean says, "Well that's because you're a freak" then, "Well I'm a freak too. I'm right there with you all the way."

1.07 “Hook Man”: Dean assigns himself to go find the unmarked grave and dig it up by himself so Sam can be with Lori, and at the end of the episode after watching them say goodbye, suggests, “We could stay”.

1.08 "Bugs": Dean tells Sam that John used to go and check up on him at Stanford, despite us being able to infer that Dean doubts that John would ever do the same for Dean. Dean makes sure that Sam knows John cares about him even if deep down Dean isn't sure he himself is truly cared about. He doesn't let resentment or jealousy stop him. His primary concern is making sure Sam knows that he is loved.

1.09 "Home" #1: Despite promising himself that he would never go home, when Sam has a vision of someone dying in their old house, Dean agrees that they have to go and check it out, putting aside his trauma to go and save strangers.

1.09 "Home" #2: Missouri spends the whole episode low key bullying Dean (in a funny way it ain't serious) but when she is winded after a long day, he is the one to instantly move to help her down the stairs without a thought. He has manners and he respects her and wants to help her!