#jeremiah you are better than that!
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nicollekidman · 1 year ago
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i have a guess but please weigh in on conrad v. jeremiah when you're far enough
conrad 1000% but i’m not finished yet (i won’t change my mind)
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psalmsofpsychosis · 7 months ago
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Reginald Payne × Alfred Pennyworth VS. Jeremiah Valeska × Bruce Wayne: A Saga.
Hello and good evening, in tonight's episode of "Gotham TV is an insane show for insane people" we're talking about Regional Pain. I mean, Reginald Payne. He is Alfred Pennyworth's "best friend", which in the context of the show's wordplays can fall anywhere on the spectrum of "actual dear friend" to "starcrossed lover", but perhaps most importantly he is a Jeremiah Valeska mirror used to establish a dynamic with Alfred that portrays exactly where does Bruce Wayne get his uhh, interesting habits in regards to his "best friends". you see;
Reggie is introduced as a raging alcoholic and mean druggie, and through him Alfred is revealed as a post-raging alcoholic with drug problems who's barely hanging on and trying not to relapse, kept afloat almost strictly by his immense love for Bruce.
In season 4, Jeremiah Valeska is introduced as a raging alcoholic and most likely a druggie, and Bruce has only slightly started to recover from his fun alcoholism, barely keeping his head above water with an iron grip on his love for Alfred.
When Reggie shows up at the Wayne Manor's door, he lies to Alfred, he is there to ruin his and bruce's lives, uses Alfred for his soft heart, capitalises on their friendship for sympathy and offers a false story, "lost a loved one and i went insane, couldn't do it".
Post-InsanityGas Jeremiah lies to Bruce, he is there to ruin his life, uses Bruce for his soft heart and capitalises on their friendship, keeping face with a false story, "lost the other half of me and i'm not dealing with it well, i can't do this," and Bruce holds his hand through it.
Reggie provokes Bruce so thoroughly, he is willing to go through with their make-believe combat practice too, "You hit me, you draw all the blood you can, i'm giving you a pass and you'll take it, violence is true and real, it's effective." Only Alfred puts a stop to it.
in the "Ace Chemicals" episode, Jeremiah provokes Bruce to hit him, to draw blood, he wants everything Bruce has in him. The only thing keeping Bruce from packing his punches is the knowledge that he has someone to come back to; he has Alfred, and he has Selina.
Reginald and Alfred get drunk together and Reginald tells Bruce about the night the SAS team cought a snake and put the goddamn thing in Alfred's bag. He tells Bruce about how Alfred cooked and made them all eat the snake.
Jeremiah's mother was a snake dancer, he grew up around snakes, he intimately knows how to handle one. He's viper colored and he's basically a snake sleeping in Bruce's bag throughtout season 4.
Reggie is a harsh truth caller, "Why dont you tell Bruce the truth, why are you afraid of him knowing the real you?" Reggie tells Alfred two wine bottles in. "You're a dog Alfred, a vicious well trained dog is what you are."
Jeremiah Valeska sees right through Bruce and becomes his truth caller, "You're so mean Bruce, there's darkness in you, so dark, we're so alike," he tells him.
Alfred tells Reggie that he's "willing to be better than he actually is because he has loved ones to care for, he will not give in to his own violence,"
Bruce tells Jeremiah that he "wants to be better than he actually is because he has loved ones to care for, he will not give in to his own darkness."
Reggie almost kills Alfred, someone very dear to Bruce, and then stays in town, knowing full well Alfred would know where to find him and have his revenge if he survived.
Jeremiah shoots Selina, someone very dear to Bruce, and then allows himself to get cought very easily, staying near and in reachable distance.
5 years later and Jeremiah leaves Bruce half insane and completely shattered, clawing into Alfred's arms in an abandoned warehouse outside Gotham, and noone has ever loved Bruce as much as Jeremiah loves him.
Reggie tears up after Bruce finally corners him, "I didn't mean any harm. Is he okay? He is okay, isn't he?" he trembles as he asks Bruce. Bruce's voice is venom as he reminds him, "You stabbed him; why do you care?" to which Reggie answers, screaming "I care! I damn care!!" because people love each other even in the ways they hurt each other.
Bruce is the one who hunts down both Reginald and Jeremiah for a chance at explanations; Selina is the one who kills Reggie.
Selina is also the one who kills Jeremiah.
And still, throughout all this Alfred is so posessive of Reggie— he actively dissuades detective Gordon from finding out about Reggie and shoos Gordon away. When Bruce asks him why he wont tell the truth about who stabbed him, Alfred says "Believe it or not, Reggie is a mate, and you do not set coppers on your mate now, do you?"
"But he almost killed you."
"we were a team together, he's my friend, if anyone can figure him out it's going to be me, noone else can do it; it wouldn't be right."
Alfred is immediately so protective of his connection to Reggie, "noone else can catch him, i know him, only i can do it right, we know each other like the backs of our hands," he intimately personalises his connection to him.
Jeremiah Valeska hurts Bruce more than perhaps anyone had ever hurt him, but when he calls to him, Bruce determinedly goes alone; Jeremiah is his fight and his only, he's the only person who knows him, the only person who can leash him in, noone else; it wouldn't be right.
Every bit of possessiveness Bruce has Over Jeremiah is a blueprint copy of how Alfred frames his friendships and his love for the people closest to him; ALFRED is where Bruce learnt the ways and whys of human connection and friendship. Really, in the Wayne Manor everyone is just 55 strings of generational patterns in a trenchcoat.
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thegreatestheaver · 8 months ago
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i need to make like a masterpost of bible verses that just go hard. im a stupid theology nerd so they all interest me but some i think would interest even people who dont like theology. currently thinking about Genesis 3:19 "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." FIRE ??? FL;AMES ???
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achingly-shy · 1 year ago
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jeremiah’s fears about how things are going to change if/when conrad confesses he still has feelings for belly are the very reason i don’t ship jere and belly. a relationship full of doubts is not healthy and jeremiah deserves better (and we all know a part of belly will always love conrad)
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blaire-apricity · 5 months ago
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Grief
ʟᴀᴅs ʙᴏʏs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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ᯓ�� ┆ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ┆ : 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘓𝘈𝘋𝘚 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴?
ᯓ❅ ┆ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 ┆ : 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, & 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘖𝘖𝘊
─────────────── ˗ˏˋ ❅。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽ ˎˊ˗ ────────────────
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𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫
Xavier is unraveling. He refuses to accept the brutal reality of your absence, his mind rejecting the notion that you’re gone. Every day he clings to the desperate hope of finding you, even if it means chasing an illusion. Jeremiah pleads with him to let go, to find rest, but Xavier hasn’t slept a single night since you disappeared. The world insists you’re gone forever, but he can’t believe that. Somewhere, he convinces himself, you must still exist. He’s willing to turn the world upside down to see you again, despite the gnawing certainty deep inside him that you’re lost to him forever. He will never stop, not until his body collapses from exhaustion. Losing you once was unbearable; he won’t let it happen again, no matter the cost.
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𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞
Zayne appears composed, his emotions meticulously controlled, his expression unchanged. But the mere mention of your name sends ripples through his calm facade. When alone in his office, the dam breaks. Tears fall freely as memories of your smile flood his mind, shattering his composure. Your disappearance haunts him, and he blames himself for not protecting you, for not being there when you needed him. It takes years for him to begin moving on, and even then, the wound never truly heals. He will always carry the pain of losing the one person who mattered most to him, a scar that time can never erase.
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𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥
Rafayel descends into despair, his mind a tangled mess, his heart shattered beyond repair. The thought of you forgetting him pales in comparison to the agony of losing you completely. He was content just being near you, even if you couldn’t remember. Now, faced with a life without you, he breaks down, collapsing to the ground as sobs wrack his body. He retreats from the world, locking himself away in his studio, which becomes a prison of his own making. What good is anything if it’s only half? That’s how his heart feels—torn without you, the other half of his soul.
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𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬
Sylus explodes with rage. Always the controlled one, he now finds himself consumed by a fury he can’t contain. You were his unexpected source of gentleness and warmth, and now you’re gone, ripped away from him. The news of your disappearance drives him to violent outbursts. He flips tables, shatters glass, and destroys furniture, his shouts of frustration echoing through the mansion. Luke and Kieran keep their distance, knowing better than to approach him in this state. The loss of you makes him question everything. What’s the point of keeping the peace, of holding back? If he’s lost his world, he might as well set fire to the entire world in his grief and anger.
·❆   ❆ ❅    •    .     ❆❆•  · .   ❅
𝐴𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟'𝑠 𝑁𝑜𝑡𝑒: 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑎-𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠; "𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑣𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑋𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑆𝑦𝑙𝑢𝑠." 𝐼𝑇 𝑊𝐴𝑆𝑁'𝑇 𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑁 𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑁𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝐴𝐿, 𝐼 𝑆𝑊𝐸𝐴𝑅 𝐴𝑆𝐾𝐷𝐻𝐾𝐴𝑆.
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jinwoosbabyboo · 4 months ago
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"Safe and sound....Kinda" pt. 2
You went M.I.A. and the LADS Men are stressed!
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Xavier
"It's been almost a week Jeremiah we need to check places the hunter association won't look" Xavier was already on the move heading towards the first No-hunt Zone of many. Jeremiah trailed behind him almost jogging trying to keep up.
"I understand that Xavier, but you're not in the right head space to-" Jeremiah swallows his words when Xavier whipped around abruptly getting in his face. "to what? Find the love of my life? I'm done waiting around twiddling my thumbs she could be out there dying for all we know"
Xavier turned on his heels and continued on his path "If your way of helping is planting seeds of doubt then don't follow me"
After two days of non-stop searching he did it. In the deepest parts of the forest Xavier found himself at the tip of your Hunters sword nearly taking his head off. His eyes widened in shock just as yours did when you realized who you were looking at "Xav......?" Your words faded as you dropped your sword and fell into his chest almost knocking him over.
"Where have you been? What are you doing in this zone its dangerous"
"I got pulled into a rift I've been fighting alone for five days" Your breathing was labored before you began to cough. Xavier flinched from the death grip you had on his arm as you tried to keep yourself upright. That's when he noticed your ripped clothes. Since when was your uniform so short and revealing?
It wasn't.
You'd been tearing your clothes to bandage your wounds, but they weren't doing so well considering they were soaked through in old and fresh blood. Your shoes were missing along with your socks. "I kept fighting because I knew...." A cough tore from your chest making your throat burn as you coughed up blood. "....I knew you'd find me" Your grip loosened as you went slack in his arms.
"Of course I'd find you" Xavier managed you wrangle you onto his back as he sent his coordinates to Jeremiah to come and pick the two of you up. "Just hang on a little longer"
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Sylus
You dragged your shoulder along the wall of a back alleyway before dropping falling flat on the ground. You don't know how many days it's been since you told Sylus you'd be back in less than a day. Your vision blurred as your head swam from exhaustion and dehydration.
"I see her!" That voice sounds familiar....
You feel two sets of hands on you pulling you into a sitting position, but your head is so heavy. "Just let me sleep for a while"
"No you have to stay up Boss is almost here" Luke?
"Stay with us" Kieran?
You felt that comforting red and black mist engulf you and soon you were cradled in Sylus' arms. If you didn't know any better you'd say Sylus looked as if he'd been crying. His eyes seemed bloodshot, but what do you know you can barely keep your eyes open. You're probably seeing things.
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I dropped my phone & a wanderer shattered my watch .... along with my wrist .... I figured if I got close enough to the N109 Zone .... you would find me" A weak smile graced your lips. "Looks like I was right"
"Let's get you home" He whispered and it was the last thing you heard before your head bobbed one last time and darkness consumed you.
Sylus made sure you had the best medical care money can buy while staying in the comfort of his king sized bed. He wouldn't leave your side as you slowly recovered. "Were you crying over me?"
"Shut up and take your pain meds"
Sylus is hard to write because that man got Mephisto on our ass 24/7
Zayne & Rafayel here ♡
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 1 year ago
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Conrad deserves better than Belly. After he sees Jere and her kiss, he get his ass to Stanford and meet this cute and smart maybe tutor girl (Haley James style) and falls in love with her and then they show up at Jere's wedding years later and Belly is jelly
I've spent the last five days working on this one.
p.s. it's 2k words...
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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When Conrad finished his exam, he went back to Jeremiah and Belly. He was going to tell and confess his love to her before she had to get home, but when he got to his car, the scene Conrad walked on made him sick to his stomach: Belly and Jeremiah were full on making out against his car. He stopped short of the car and cleared his throat, causing the two to spring apart from their heated kiss and see Conrad looking right at them. 
Conrad’s face was white. He would rather have had someone shoot him in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to watch the two of them kissing.
He didn't know who he was more angry at. Belly, who, not even a day ago, had told him she would have fought harder for him if she knew he loved her that much. Or Jeremiah, who, although he knew how much Belly meant to his brother and how fucking in love he was with her, seized the opportunity to kiss Belly the moment he was alone with her.
‘’Conrad—’’ Belly started, guilt settling in her guts. 
He cut her off, his voice cold and cutting. ‘’I don’t want to hear it.’’ 
His gaze shifted from Belly to Jeremiah. There was so much hate in his eyes. How could Jere do that to him? They agreed to stop hiding things from each other and talk, but Jeremiah must have forgotten already. 
‘’You broke up with her, Con, remember? We did nothing wrong,’’ Jeremiah said, pulling facts in his favor to make himself feel better — less guilty — for kissing his brother’s ex.  
When Conrad kissed Belly on the beach last summer, he didn’t know she and Jeremiah were a thing — if he could call it that — or that he liked her. If he had, he wouldn’t have kissed Belly or confessed his feelings to her. Had the situation had been in reverse, Conrad wasn’t sure Jeremiah would have backed off. 
‘’I’m done.’’ Conrad's voice was resolute, his heart heavy as he turned away, unable to bear the sight of them any longer.
Jeremiah moved to follow, calling out Conrad's name. He didn’t stop, needing to be as far as possible from the painful scene. His mind was racing with a jumble of emotions. Anger, betrayal, and a profound hurt gnawed at him. He had trusted both Belly and Jeremiah, yet they pulled this shit behind his back. 
‘’Why do you always have to act like that?’’ Jeremiah said as he quickened his pace to catch up. 
Finally, Conrad turned to face Jeremiah, his expression a mix of sorrow and resentment. ‘’You don’t get to tell me how to react, Jere. You kiss the girl I love outside my school, against my car while she’s wearing my sweatshirt. If you don’t see how disgusting and messed up it all sounds—’’
‘’She kissed me,’’ the younger one quickly defended. 
 Hearing this made him want to pack his bags, get his ass to stanford and focus on school. He needed to turn the Belly page, and in order to do that, he needed to be away from both she and Jeremiah. California seemed far enough, right?
*
The first days and weeks were tough for Conrad, struggling to accept the definite end of the relationship. She was still all over him like a wine-stained shirt he couldn’t wear anymore. 
He blocked both Belly and Jeremiah’ numbers. If he wanted to move on, he had to keep his distance from them. For a while, at least. Then, he deleted all the old pictures he kept of Belly on his phone. There was no going back for them anymore. 
He was done.
*
You met Conrad a little before Christmas break. Just like those cliché rom-coms, you walked right into him and spilled your chai latte all over his sweater. You wanted to break the cliché and not fall for the victim of your clumsiness, but after one look into those beautiful blue eyes, you knew it would be impossible. 
 After that day, you kept crossing paths around campus and, one afternoon, you asked him out. He was so surprised, but he said ‘yes’. 
Although you had sealed the end of the night with a few kisses, you decided to take things slow. You had a very busy schedule with the tutoring lessons on top of your regular program, and Conrad was unsure if it was too soon to get in another relationship, if he was ready for it. The scar Belly had left on his heart was healing, but was he ready to open his heart to someone again? 
‘’Have you ever been in love?’’ you asked one night in his dorm while studying. 
Your question had caught Conrad off guard. It was visible on his face. 
‘’Have you?’’ he returned, not taking his eyes off his textbook. 
He was trying to dodge the question. 
‘’I asked you first,’’ you said, seeing through his plan.
‘’Then yes.’’
‘’How many times?’’
‘’Once.’’
His answers were flat, annoyed he was by all your questions. He wished you would stop and get back to studying in silence, but you kept going. 
‘’On a scale of one to ten, how in love were you?’’
‘’You can’t put being in love on a scale,’’ he said, lifting his head with furrowed eyebrows. ‘’Either you are or you aren’t.’’
‘’But if you had to say.’’
Conrad started flipping through his notes. He hadn’t thought of Belly in months. He missed her — in a different way he used to. She was his friend before they got tangled into this mess.
He didn’t look at you when he finally said it. ‘’Ten.’’
*
The more time he spent in your presence, the more Conrad was — unknowingly — letting go of his past. 
The pictures he deleted months ago became pictures of you, filling his phone until there was no space left. The smell of your perfume lingered on some of his clothes and in his car. He had your coffee order memorized, along with your favorite study-break snack, which he made sure to have in stock in his dorm. 
You became part of his routine — part of his life —, brightening his days even on his darkest, saddest nights. 
He didn’t want to bother you, but nothing was calming the ache in his chest. He tried getting some air and smoking weed, he even thought of calling Laurel, but it was almost 2am in Pennsylvania. Conrad didn’t want to scare her. 
So he pulled up your contact and called, the weight of his grief still heavy in his heart, wishing Susannah was still there. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since she took her last breath. 
You were about to slip into bed when you saw his name flashing on your phone. You almost didn’t pick up, but you got a gut feeling that he needed you. 
When you opened your door, a saddened look was etched onto Conrad's face, his beautiful eyes glistening with unshed tears. The sight pulled at your heart and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him for the whole night.
Supported each other through finals and all-nighters.
‘’Getting tired?’’ you said, catching him actively fighting against his own eyelids. 
Conrad shook his head, taking a long gulp of his coffee. ‘’No time for sleep. I have this huge exam first thing tomorrow and I still have a lot of chapters to cover.’’
‘’You can take a short nap if you want. I’ll wake you in thirty minutes,’’ you kindly offered, flipping through your notes for a specific annotation. 
‘’Nah, I’m good.’’ He flashed you a soft smile, then returned to his studying. 
A few minutes later, and you couldn't help but notice that Conrad's eyes had begun to droop. They would halfway close and then he would either blink a bunch of times, or widen his eyes until they were bug eyed. It was cute.
‘’Con? Conrad?’’ you called out gently. 
‘’I'm not sleeping. I'm resting my eyes,’’ he mumbled defensively, fighting fatigue.
There was no way he was getting through the night, so you put your notes down and slipped on Conrad’s flannel shirt that was on the back of your chair to shield you from the night air. ‘’We’re gonna need more coffee.’’ 
As you came back with two fresh cups of coffee, you found Conrad fast asleep on your pillow, still clutching his pen.
And held his hand through the rainiest times — literally.
‘’Isn't California supposed to be the sunniest state?’’ Conrad asked, watching the downpour through the windshield, drenched from head to toe. ‘’The seats are all wet...’’ 
‘’You gotta learn to live with the consequences of your own actions, Connie baby.’’ 
It was his idea to get waffles when the sky was looking very gray and angry. He insisted that it would clear out, but a loud clap of thunder echoed on your way back to the car and rain started pouring. You took the road back to campus, but it got too dangerous, forcing Conrad to stop the car on the shoulder of the road and wait for the rain to calm. 
You wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoodie and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips, still the most beautiful to his eyes despite your wet hair and the slight smear of mascara under your eyes. 
 ‘’Rain happens everywhere. Even in the dryest desert,’’ you reminded him, pulling out your phone to check the weather app.‘’Unfortunately, this one isn't gonna stop anytime soon.’’
You toed off your sneakers, making Conrad draw his eyebrows.
‘’What are you doing?’’
‘’We’re gonna be here for a while.’’ You peeled off your hoodie — also wet from the rain —, leaving you in your skirt and dainty bralette. ‘’Might as well occupy ourselves,’’ you explained before leaning over the middle console and kissing him, fastening yourself to him with a stitch. 
The kiss took him by surprise, but he wasn’t complaining. He could spend hours kissing you and never get bored. 
You crawled over the console and on Conrad’s lap without breaking contact, your hands easily finding grip on his hair as you felt his hands all over your body, caressing and pulling. The windows were fogging quickly around you, creating a veil of privacy as more layers were peeled off.
Conrad once believed he had found love, that Belly was it for him, but the feelings he felt back then were nothing compared to how he felt right now. 
‘’You’re the best thing that happened to me,’’ he confessed, his forehead pressed against yours. 
*
The invitation came in a few weeks before the wedding. Conrad couldn’t believe his brother was going through with this. Everything was happening so fast and seemed rushed. Him and Belly weren’t even twenty. Who gets married so young anymore? 
He arrived in Cousins a few days prior to the wedding, surprising everyone — and stealing the attention from the soon-to-be-weds — when they saw a girl with him. 
The only person who knew exactly who you were was Steven. A few months ago, you had posted a picture with Conrad at the beach and tagged him, leading to Steven finding out about his friend’s new girlfriend. He was surprised when he saw it, but very happy for Conrad. He deserved better than someone who plays between two hearts. 
Laurel put down the table-center she was holding and went over to pull Conrad in a hug. She turned to you, making quick introductions, and Conrad held his breath. He’s always been close to Laurel and her approval meant more to him than his father’s or Jeremiah’s. 
While the two of you engaged into a conversation, he saw her. Belly. Dressed in a white sundress and talking to Taylor, she looked just the same. The only difference was, Conrad felt nothing. No pain, no old feelings rising back. 
For the first time, what’s past was past.
‘’Belly, come greet Connie and his girlfriend,’’ Laurel called out to her daughter. 
Although you had never met her, you could tell exactly who she was in the room — and not only because her dress was white. The jealousy filling her eyes when they fell on you gave her away.
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roosterforme · 8 months ago
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Aim for the Sky Part 1 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Deployments feel longer when you're alone and pregnant. You know Bradley wants to be home for all of the milestones, but you also know he trusts you to take care of yourself. That trust goes both ways when it feels like ages since you've heard from him.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, pregnancy
Length: 4000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32
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You hadn't spoken to your husband in more than three weeks. Not once since he left on a deployment of undetermined length. When you were on base, tucked away in your office or working on a project in the lab, it wasn't so bad. You could almost get lost in the idea of heading home to start dinner and find him working on a project. You could nearly pretend he'd be ready to wrap you up in his arms and ask about your day. But you knew better than to drift all the way into that daydream, because he wasn't there, and you didn't know when he would be back.
At least Tramp greeted you with excitement when you walked in each day, but you suspected that was partially because he knew you were about to feed him. Your friends kept you busy on the weekends, and Jake stopped by the Craftsman on occasion with Jeremiah when Cat needed a break. Today, he even made a comment about the multitude of pallets lined up on your driveway that prevented you from pulling all the way up to where you usually parked.
"When Rooster gets back, I'll give him a hand building that jungle gym," Jake drawled as you handed a cracker to Jeremiah. "We'll have it finished in a weekend, and then Jer can test it out."
You watched Jake kiss Cat's son on the cheek as you said, "He can teach the Nugget all about the slide and the swings when the time comes." Your belly felt a little tender as you ran your hand over your shirt, loving the feel of the bump beneath your fingers. You were nineteen weeks along, and when Bradley left, you'd still looked just bloated. Now you were starting to get round in all the places that made you excited for what was to come. And after so many weeks of non stop nausea and vomiting, you were happy you could finally eat.
Jake snorted. "You've taken to calling the baby a Nugget, too? Thought that was just your husband."
You rolled your eyes and flicked his arm. "Maybe I miss him, okay? Like a lot." Your voice shook even though you were trying for a teasing tone, and Jake's features softened. You quickly asked, "Are you two staying for dinner?"
Jeremiah was such a sweet toddler, and you were so lonely today, you were hoping Jake would say yes. But he kissed you on the cheek before he said, "Not tonight. I told Cat we'd be home by six."
You just nodded, once again afraid your voice might shake. You'd be fine; it wasn't like you needed someone with you all the time. It wasn't like you couldn't get through the night. 
Once they were gone, you made yourself some dinner and ate it while you stood at the kitchen counter. Occasionally you dropped some bites for Tramp who snapped them up out of the air before anything ever hit the ground. 
"Don't tell your dad that this is the reason you beg at the table," you muttered as he sat next to your foot and wagged his tail wildly. Even the veterinarian didn't know exactly how old he was, but he still seemed like a puppy sometimes. You could already picture him and the baby playing together.
Your gaze caught on the newest set of ultrasound photos which you had stacked up at the end of the kitchen counter. The appointment with Dr. Morris made you cry afterwards, because Bradley wasn't there to gush over the baby. You drove his Bronco that day, and you sat quietly trying to compose yourself while enveloped in his smell. He had some older ultrasound images tucked in the sun visor, and you wanted him to see the new ones so badly, you ached.
"I'm going to get ready for bed," you groaned at Tramp even though it was still early. You took a bath with the floating thermometer Bradley bought for you to use while pregnant. You drank a can of ginger ale instead of your preferred pink champagne, and you listened to one of the playlists he made for you. 
When you were climbing in bed, you took the note he left you from your nightstand. It was folded into a paper airplane that looked exactly like his tattoo. He'd even written Baby Girl on it like always. Very carefully, you unfolded it and read the short message that you already had memorized, because it just meant something more in his handwriting.
I love both of you so much, sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming. Nothing could be this good. There's no way I get to return home to everything I ever wanted. I don't know when I'll be back, so I need you to take care of yourself and the Nugget until I can take over my duties again. I won't be gone a minute longer than I need to be.
You shut your light off before your tears could fall, and Tramp snuggled in next to you. When you thought about Bradley, you pictured him in his bunk. Maybe he was alone. Maybe he was with Reuben. Maybe he was rooming with a different officer. But it didn't matter, because you could easily imagine him practically spilling out of the narrow bed, one knee bent with the pink and blue notebook propped up while he wrote to the baby.
When your phone started ringing in the pitch darkness, you jumped, practically falling out of bed as you reached for your lamp and phone at the same time. It was a FaceTime call. It said restricted caller. You screeched his name, far too loud for your voice which has been resting just seconds ago. You shoved your glasses into place so you could see him, and shouted, "Bradley! Roo! Are you okay?"
"Hey, Baby Girl," he crooned, and his smiling face came into focus. You practically dropped your phone as he said, "I'm fine. Sorry it's so late."
You felt giddy laughter bubbling up inside you; the idea of your husband apologizing for calling and making your whole week was absurd. "No, no, no, this is perfect," you insisted. "This is great.
Bradley laughed and said, "I miss you so fucking much. Wish I was in bed right there with you."
"Me too," you replied. "It got chilly here tonight, and Tramp isn't as snuggly as you are." You missed his warmth and voice so much. It was almost Halloween, and the nights felt way too long. 
His voice was just a whisper as he said, "Tell me about the Nugget."
Your smile felt overpowering. "Dr. Morris said the Nugget looked great when I was there two weeks ago."
"Two weeks ago," he groaned, rubbing his hands along his face. "Sweetheart... I already missed so much." When he looked at the screen again, you were out of bed and on the move. "Where are you going?"
You flipped on the hallway light and said, "To get the ultrasounds to show you. I left them on the kitchen counter."
You propped up your phone and held up one of the photos so he could see the baby. "There's my Nugget," he said, voice thick with emotion as you held up a second image. "Fucking cutest baby I've ever seen."
You couldn't help but laugh, feeling better than you had in weeks. "I liked this one the best. I think it looks like the baby is waving hello."
"Shit," he gasped. "You're right. I can't wait to wallpaper our bedroom with copies of these."
You pulled the ultrasound away and gasped, "You're probably not even joking."
"I'm definitely not even joking."
You leaned on the counter and got a little closer to your phone as you whispered, "Another week or so, and I can go in for an anatomy scan."
Now you felt guilty as he nodded with his lips pressed together. "You get to find out if the Nugget is a boy or a girl."
Tears stung your eyes. You could already imagine him holding the baby in his arms, loving him or her no matter what. "Yeah," you said with a nod. "But I don't really want to do that without you there too."
It took him a moment to respond. "I wish I could get home in time to hold your hand and find out in person. But you know I don't care one way or the other. The only nice thing is that we can start narrowing down baby names soon. I actually wrote down a few that I kind of like in the Nugget notebook earlier."
Your heart swelled. "I can't wait to read all of your notebook entries. And if you're not home for my next appointment, I'll be practically vibrating with anticipation until I get to tell you if it's a boy Nugget or a girl Nugget."
You wanted to show him how your belly looked more curvy now, but when you and he both parted your lips to speak, you heard someone shouting in the same room as him on the aircraft carrier. Now your husband wasn't looking at you at all. 
"Bradshaw! It's time. Get into your flight suit."
"Yes, Sir," Bradley said before glancing back down.
"You have to go," you sobbed, unaware that you were actually crying until you heard yourself. 
"I do," he said quickly. "Right now. Listen, I love you. More than anything. You and the baby both, okay? I love you."
"I love you, too," you sobbed as your lips trembled. "So much."
"I'll be home soon," he told you earnestly. "I love you."
Then you were standing alone in your kitchen at 4:48 in the morning with tears streaming down your face. The abrupt end to the call set your nerves on edge just seconds after you had been feeling so good. You gripped the edge of your kitchen counter; that wasn't a regular call to order, that was the start of his mission you just witnessed.
There was no chance of you falling asleep again, so you let yourself cry while Tramp put his head down on your bare foot and licked your ankle. 
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Halloween came, and you could barely manage to give out candy to the neighborhood kids. You'd had Bradley with you for the previous two Halloween nights in a row, and this year you didn't even want to buy a costume without him. You were exactly twenty weeks along, approximately halfway through your pregnancy, but it was hard to be excited even as groups of kids ran up and down the sidewalk. 
You sat on your porch and dropped goodie bags into pillowcases and plastic pumpkins while Tramp barked inside the house. You commented on all of the cute costumes. You cried a little bit. Your emotions were all over the place as you tried to imagine what it might be like going out to collect candy a year from now with your baby in a tiny costume. 
When the trick-or-treating ended, you went inside and opened a miniature sized Hershey bar for yourself, and then you almost screamed. The chocolate fell to the floor as you reached for your belly. Tramp looked between you and the fallen treat as you sank down onto your knees.
"Oh my God," you gasped, eyes squeezed shut tight. You could feel the baby moving. It was kind of a wild fluttering sensation. You rubbed your palm against your shirt a little more, and the slight movement felt like a response. Your baby was right there. "Hi, little Nugget." Then you felt something like a soft thump.
You wished more than anything that Bradley was here to witness it. He was going to absolutely freak out when he got home. Then the intrusive thoughts arrived. If he got home. It had been another week and a half since that FaceTime call where he got cut off by a commanding officer. If his mission was completed, he should have called you back by now. But at least you didn't have a fleet admiral dialing your number. 
You didn't move for a long time, not until the baby seemed to get into a cozy position where the movement slowed down and then stopped. When Tramp started sniffing around the candy bar, you crawled over to it and picked it up before he could get any ideas.
Time was simultaneously at a standstill and also moving too fast. In four weeks, it would be Thanksgiving and your first wedding anniversary. You'd been holding off making plans with your parents, because you didn't know what to do. You were already overdue for your anatomy scan, dodging phone calls from Dr. Morris's office when they told you that you absolutely needed to come in for your checkup. They were starting to leave you lengthy messages about how they needed to complete the full scan to be sure there were no underlying issues. 
As you walked to your bedroom, you promised yourself you'd call tomorrow and schedule an appointment. Bradley would miss finding out if the Nugget was a boy or girl, but at least you'd get to see all ten fingers and all ten toes for the first time. You could reveal the news to Bradley when you got to talk to him. You would go to your appointment, because he trusted you to take care of yourself and the baby the best that you could.
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The cafeteria was packed when you walked in with your uniform shirt untucked and your pants unbuttoned. You finally caved and ordered a maternity uniform last week, and Bickel let you cry in his office about how ugly it was before he sent you back to the lab. It should be arriving any day, but for now, you were making do. 
When Nat saw you, she was on her feet heading your way immediately. "Your belly looks bigger!" she gasped, pulling you toward the table where she was sitting with Bob and Maria. "When's Rooster coming home?"
You shrugged miserably. "You think I know? I just work here."
Her laughter made you smile for the first time all day. Your nausea was back a little bit, and you were too afraid to even try to eat anything until you got home later tonight. When Nat scooted her tray closer to the edge of the table to make room for you, she asked, "Where's your lunch?"
You didn't want to lie, but you really didn't want them to pressure you to eat right now. "I think I'll just take something back upstairs with me." As you slid onto the empty spot on the bench, you asked, "Do you know if anyone has heard from Payback?"
You were met with shaking heads which didn't help your mood at all. What the hell was going on with this mission? Your tongue felt too thick, and your saliva practically made you gag as Bob said, "I thought they would have been home by now. Five weeks is a long time for a special mission."
Maria elbowed him in the side, but it's not like he was saying anything you weren't already thinking. This sickening feeling had been inside you for days where you were convinced something went wrong. You just couldn't fathom why you hadn't received a call yet.
"I know," you muttered. "It's okay." But you weren't actually sure if it was or not. It has been months since you had a panic attack where you had to spend a few hours with Dr. Genevieve, but you could feel it building up now. Worrying about Bradley and yourself and the baby all at the same time was mentally and emotionally exhausting.
You pretended to pick up a sandwich before heading toward the elevators in the lobby, and you stopped to throw up in the bathroom before you made it back to your office. Your anatomy scan was scheduled for Friday, almost three weeks after they originally wanted you to come in. If you were still feeling this anxious, you'd block off part of your schedule next week to visit Dr. Genevieve again.
Somehow, even though the only thing on your mind was talking to Bradley, you were shocked when your phone woke you up just before midnight on Wednesday evening. This time you rocketed to your feet as you yanked your phone free from the charger. It wasn't a FaceTime call. It said RESTRICTED CALLER. You braced your hand on your nightstand in the dark, and when you answered, you knew immediately that it wasn't your husband on the other end of the call.
"Hello? I'm calling on behalf of Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw," came a male voice in response, and then he was asking you to confirm your personal information. 
"What happened?" you gasped once he established that you really were the one and only person on Bradley's contact list. "What happened to him?"
There was a soft hum from the man, and you wanted to jump through the phone and strangle him for his lack of response. Then, as you finally managed to turn on your lamp, he said, "It looks like his flight just took off out of Hong Kong."
"Flight?" you gasped. "He's in the air?"
"Yes. A commercial flight into San Diego. He should arrive Friday morning, and I can give you the details now so someone can arrange for a ride for him." 
You were baffled as to why Bradley didn't call you himself, but if he was on his way home, you didn't care. And you weren't going to arrange for a ride for him. You were going to pick him up yourself. When you grabbed a pen from your nightstand, the only paper you could find was the love note he left for you, so you started writing the flight number on your arm instead. Then you gasped and almost dropped the phone when you ended the call. There was the slightest chance he would be back in time!
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Bradley was exhausted. He knew he could sleep for two days, no problem. He would land in San Diego and hope you were there to get him, then he'd ask you if the baby was a boy or a girl, then he'd take you home and make love to you before falling the fuck asleep. He really wanted to start building the jungle gym playset, but that was just going to have to wait for another day.
It was Friday, or at least that's what he thought, and he wasn't sure how busy you had been at work, because he hadn't spoken to you in weeks. Maybe Bickel let you take the morning off. If Bradley didn't get to see you in baggage claim like he always had before, he was going to be so annoyed that he was delayed weeks longer than he should have been. This mission turned into a three part nightmare on the high seas, and all he wanted was his wife and his Nugget.
When his flight landed, he was up and out of his seat, ready to go. Of course he ended up lifting down carryon bags for a few older passengers and one woman who had two kids with her. Of course he knelt down to help someone find their reading glasses. But all he wanted was for this line of people to move it off the aircraft so he could get into the terminal and call you.
When you answered on the second ring, shouting his name into the phone, he couldn't help but smile. "I just landed, Sweetheart. Does that mean you're here to get me?"
"Yes! I'm in baggage claim! Hurry up!"
His whole body thrummed with need as he picked up his pace at the confirmation that you were here for him. "I'm coming as fast as I can," he promised, squeezing between two groups of people walking way too slowly. He wanted to know if you took the day off. There were a hundred questions circling his brain, but the first one that he needed an answer to was, "How's my Nugget?"
He could hear the smile in your voice as you said, "Your little Nugget is thriving, Roo. But get over here and see for yourself!"
"Baby Girl," he laughed, jogging a little faster. "I'm coming." 
"Hurry," you whined, and he needed to give you what you wanted. 
He bypassed the crowded escalator and took the stairs as quickly as he could, skidding around a corner as he turned toward baggage claim. "Almost there," he panted into the phone. And then he saw you and groaned, "Fuck," loud enough that a few people shot him nasty looks. "Holy shit, Sweetheart."
Bradley ended the call as you glanced around, and he stumbled when you finally spotted him. You were wearing a new dress. It was a pretty shade of green, and it was snug, hugging all of your curves. Hugging your bump. You had a bump. You looked so obviously pregnant to him, he was ready to crawl on his hands and knees and beg at your feet.... for what, he wasn't sure. But that's what his brain was barking at him to do right now.
"Roo!" you called out, prancing toward him in that tight dress and your boat shoes, and literally nothing felt better than being with you. As soon as you were in his arms, he was home. "Bradley," you moaned against his lips as his hands found your sides. You felt different in the best possible way. The swell of your belly wasn't huge yet, but it was definitely there. He could feel it. His growing baby.
God, you were kissing him just right, fingers threading through his hair as you rubbed yourself against him. "Jesus," he groaned into your mouth, but you kissed it away as he ran his hands along as much of your middle as he could reach. He couldn't help it; when you eventually broke the kiss to take a breath, he dropped to his knees in front of you.
Your fingers were still in his hair as you looked down at him in surprise. "Roo?"
He was kissing along that green fabric and rubbing his nose against that perfect, little bump. He knew you were twenty-two weeks along, and he knew what that meant. "Please, tell me," he rasped, stroking you gently with his thumb. "Please, Sweetheart. Is it a girl or a boy?"
Your softly parted lips and smile had all of his focus as he waited to hear you tell him what he'd been dying to know. "Oh," you whispered, pushing your fingers through his hair, leaving him in anticipation as your fingertips glided down his cheek. "I don't know yet."
"You don't?" he asked, brow creased in concern. But you just kept smiling as his heart pounded. "You don't know?"
"Nope," you replied easily. "My appointment is in an hour."
Bradley rocketed to his feet. "Are you serious?" he whispered, his voice a little harsh. "I didn't miss it?"
You kissed him softly as he collected you back in his arms. "You didn't miss it, Roo. I postponed it as long as I could. You're just in time."
"Hell yes!" he whooped, pumping one fist in the air as you giggled. "You waited for Daddy," he said, smiling down at your belly as he slowly walked you backwards. "That's my Nugget." You were looking up at him with trusting eyes as he pushed you back against a pillar next to the baggage carousel. "You said we have an hour?"
"Yes."
"Good," he murmured before his lips found yours, and his hands continued their excited exploration of your new curves. 
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Next up is the big reveal!!! I am so excited!!!! Get your final guesses in now! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who has been reading and interacting. Welcome to the new series!
PART 2
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798 notes · View notes
kitscutie · 2 years ago
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august (conrad fisher x reader)
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𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗂ꜱ𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀ꜱ: ᖯ𝗂𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝗄𝗂ꜱꜱ𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗆𝖺𝖽 ᖯ𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗒, ꜱ𝖾𝗑𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽
𝗉.ꜱ: 𝗂'𝗆 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗉𝖺𝖽 ꜱ𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝗂𝗇ꜱ𝗉𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖽 ᖯ𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂ꜱ 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 - 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗒𝗅𝖺𝗇, 𝗂𝗍'ꜱ 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗃𝗎ꜱ𝗍 𝗒𝖾𝗍 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 ꜱ𝗍𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗎𝗇𝖾𝖽!
ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 ᖯ𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 ꜱ𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗄-𝗎𝗉ꜱ 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖺ꜱ𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋ꜱ, 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗒ꜱ, 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 ᖯ𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗒 ꜱ𝗁𝗈𝗐ꜱ 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 ᖯ𝗈𝗇𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖼𝖾𝖽.
a/n: been wanting to write this for a while so BOOM here it is, sooo excited for season two, also im in a deep dylan obrien depression i need help :p ALSO sorry like all my fics are in different styles at the start i'm experimenting atm!
You and Conrad Fisher had known each other since you had popped out of the womb nineteen years ago in the same hospital, only a floor and two hours keeping you apart.
Your moms had been friends since rooming at college and so your friendship, some might say, had been written in the stars quite literally. Fate.
Things had started to change on your sixteenth birthday. It was just before the annual summer reunion, and of course, you and your mom had gone down just one week earlier in order to have a joint birthday celebration with the Fishers and stayed until the Conklin's arrived.
You had hit puberty and he hadn't seen you since the big change but when he did, his eyes could've fell from his skull. It was almost comedic. Of course at the time his stares meant little to you. He was your best friend after all.
Until last year. It was the start of summer bonfire and all was normal. Belly was at home, Jeremiah was off talking to girls with Steven which left you and Conrad. You found it strange he didn't have the same interest in girls as Steven and Jeremiah but who were you to say anything. You wanted him to stay.
Long story short he finally made a move and a kiss began in the abandoned life-guard tower a couple feet away from the main event, it was all going well, almost too well. And you were proven correct when Steven and Jeremiah came down the beach looking for you and found you in that very compromising position.
Seeing as they weren't exactly in a place to talk they agreed to keep it a secret and so it became the new norm for them, seeing the two of you together while your mom, Susannah, Laurel and Belly were non the wiser.
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The bonfire was in full-swing, Summer had officially begun and what better way to start it than in the lap of Conrad Fisher on Cousins Beach.
He was sat cross legged on the blanket you'd brought from the house, while you sat atop him, legs either side of his own.
"I just think we should be nicer to her, I mean that was us three years ago." You sighed, you'd had a beer or two and were feeling increasingly guilty about the disallowance of Belly to come tonight.
"None of us were allowed out at sixteen, it's only fair." Conrad replied, voice low and relaxed. Something you appreciated about him, he was a very soothing person.
"Yeah, but that's different! We all had each other and now-" You began but he cut you off with a groan.
"Can we please not talk about Belly when your sat on me?" He said, smile gracing his lips.
You began to 'ew' and berate him but were soon cut off by his lips on yours, one of his hands holding your jaw in place while the other sat comfortably on the upper part of your thigh.
It didn't take much for you to open up, his tongue instantly hitting against yours as he deepened the kiss. When your mouths disconnected, it made a sound which made your head go light and airy.
"Do you still feel bad?" He whispered. Hand moving up to put a stray piece of hair behind your ear.
"No." You answered, shooting forward to connect your lips once more. He chuckled into the kiss, teeth clashing together but you didn't care you just wanted him.
His spare hand slowly and nonchalantly drifted to the hem of your shorts, groping your ass gently, you were still in public after all and Conrad wanted to be able to say he had an ounce of class and respect. Even if it was a lie.
A disruption to the left of you and Conrad caught your attention and you went to turn your head, lips still interlocked but he denied that, hand on your jaw tightening and turning your head back to look at him.
The final straw was a resounding 'Ooh' from the crowd and you decided no matter what he did you were going to see what was happening.
Finally turning your head you found Belly. On the floor. And looking directly at you. A lot was wrong with that.
"Shit, Conrad." You said, which finally got his face away from placing delicate kisses across your jaw and to see the same thing as you. His face also dropping.
"Belly?" He said, unable to stop himself in disbelief.
Really this would've been the right time to get out of his lap but you were frozen in fear, forgetting you were sat there in the first place.
"I thought me and Y/N were like your sisters." She said, anger painted on her face. You didn't like confrontation in the first place and so saying something was hard but you couldn't let Belly think badly of you or Conrad.
"Belly look- it's different-" You defended, but she once again cut you off in anger and while your throat tightened in anxiety, you felt Conrad's hand soothe over your back. Reassuring and subtle.
"Different? I know him just as well as you do. It's not different." She seethed. Stepping closer to the two of you.
"Belly, c'mon you know what I mean." You whispered unintentionally. Your eyes were going glassy, feeling looks from all around you. Some in agreeance with you, some with her but none knew the full story.
"We've been together since last year. It was after you left to take Steven to look at Colleges." Conrad stepped in while Belly processed. Preventing another dig at you.
"I thought you weren't ready for a relationship and that, may I remind you again, we're like sisters to you?" Belly replied.
"I didn't-" Conrad started though a hurt look from you cut him off. "Look I said that like two years ago, it isn't even relevant anymore. Clearly." He said. Eyes connecting with you to reassure you, not her.
"You're such a brat." He added, seeing the affect her words had on you.
"Well you're an asshole." Belly yelled back, all while you sat stunned and quiet.
"Belly! You came, great, we can all hang out." Jeremiah said enthusiastically running over. You appreciated his intervention, as obvious as it was that he was trying to distract her.
"I'm about to take her home." Steven cut him off.
"What?" Jeremiah said, confused. Though the situation was bad she was old enough to be out past ten pm. Whether Steven liked it or not.
"Yeah, we're leaving, are you kidding me?" Steven replied as if it was obvious. Grabbing her hand.
"Ok, Steven come on. Go hang out with Shayla or something." Jeremiah answered and you couldn't help but admire the boy and his love for Belly.
You tore your eyes away from the conversation above you as they dispersed, looking back at Conrad who was sighing and pushing hair from his face.
"It'll be okay." You said, knowing what he needed without having to ask.
"I know." He smiled gently, though his eyes didn't fully match. He was worried, and you couldn't blame him.
Belly knew, and worst of all, just five months ago she had confided in you about her crush on Conrad and so it was unclear if she would ever even speak to you again.
Guilt was swallowing you whole.
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probably-writing-x · 1 year ago
Text
Fault.
Summary: you’re an incredible writer!!! could you write conrad x reader where she is belly’s best friend and goes with them to cousins for the summers, and she tries really hard to not like conrad because belly does but he likes her back and they start secretly hooking up/dating? hell maybe even throw in that jeremiah likes her too 😂 and everyone finds out somehow, i live for the messy drama 😝
Warnings: Sexual references and innuendos, 18+ DNI
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Cousins had been a part of your childhood like it had been for Belly. You’d met her in kindergarten and been inseparable ever since, so you were practically the third sibling to her and Steven. You spent countless summer days with them, then came home with Belly and spent the rest of the year counting down until next summer would come around.
When you were young, it was just fun and sun and summer and Belly’s undying crush on the older brother. Not too much of that had changed as you’d grown up now - but perhaps you’d changed.
You weren’t sure when it had changed. But, one summer, it was like you looked at that older brother and saw what Belly was on about this whole time. You didn’t see him in the same infatuating way that she did, but you couldn’t deny any longer that he was attractive. There was just something in those eyes, the sort of half smile he gave you, the way his words just rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You couldn’t help it.
Once you’d came to that realisation, perhaps two summers ago, you’d done your best to completely suppress it. You ignored it. You ignored him. You avoided being alone with him, brought up Belly whenever you felt like the conversation might be shifting. You did everything in your power to stop yourself from ever feeling that way about Conrad. It wasn’t that you didn’t want something to happen - but breaking your own heart would be better than breaking your best friend’s.
But those damn eyes…
———
“It feels weird doing this drive myself,” You point out, indicating into the last street that would lead you into Cousins, “I’m used to your Mom complaining that we’re too loud.”
Belly laughs in the passenger seat, “Now you’ve just got Steven complaining.”
You glance in your rear view mirror to where Steven was resting against the window with his eyes closed, “Shut up.”
“Come on Stevie, we’re almost there,” You taunt, turning once again into the final road to the Fisher-Beck household.
Laurel hadn’t driven you this year, she had some fancy author thing to attend so she’d be meeting you next week. Belly couldn’t wait to come to Cousins, however, so you’d offered to drive the three of you.
When you pull up into the driveway, it’s like every bit of summer ignites - the start of a million memories.
Almost instantly, the door opens and Jeremiah comes hurrying out.
“Thank god you’re here!”
He opens the driver’s side door of your car and sticks his head in, grinning widely at the three of you.
“Good to see you too, Jere,” You laugh, stepping out of your seat to hug him.
He smells like mint and limes.
“We’ve got so much to catch up on,” Jeremiah comments, hurrying around to hug Belly too as Steven drags himself out of the car.
You laugh and ruffle his hair, much to his disgust, at the same moment that the front door swings open again and the other brother steps out, squinting a little at the sun. He’s wearing a navy t-shirt and grey shorts, dragging a hand through his messy hair. He jogs down the few steps from the front door and makes his way over.
“Hey!” You clear your throat, swinging your keys in your hand.
Conrad looks at you and smiles lightly, the sort that meets his eyes in a brief moment, “How was the drive?”
You shrug, “Mostly okay, I still hate all these country roads though.”
He laughs, looking down at his feet, “Yeah, I know you do. You’ll get used to it.”
You nod and both of you fall silent for a moment.
“So do you-“
“Did you-“
You both look at each other and laugh.
“You first,” He gestures towards you, stuffing his hands into his pockets soon after.
“No, um,” You shake your head, “I was just going to ask if you have plans tonight. Someone at the gas station told us there’s a drive in movie. We were thinking we could all go.”
Conrad nods, “If it’s a musical I’m not going.”
“Deal.”
You turn back to the rest of the group as Steven and Belly are grabbing bags from the trunk.
“Oh it’s so good to see you all!” Beams Susannah as you all trail inside.
She wraps Steven in a hug, does the same to Belly and then comes over to you, squeezing you tightly.
The house is no different but it always feels brighter at the start of summer, like it’s welcoming you back. You breathe it in for a second, a sigh of relief at your return.
“Alright, get settled into your rooms and everything and I’ll make us up some lunch,” Susannah encourages.
You follow behind Belly towards the room that the two of you shared, walking past the ajar door to Conrad’s room. You ignore the fluttering in your chest.
“God it’s good to be back,” Belly grins, dropping down onto the mattress and spreading out her arms.
“Yeah, it feels like forever since we’ve been here,” You nod, setting your suitcase down onto the floor and sitting yourself on the edge of the bed beside her.
She reaches over and grabs Junior Mint, setting him down on the mattress.
“I still remember when Conrad got me this,” She mumbles, brushing her thumb over the white fur.
“At the boardwalk right?” You comment, “It was that day I was sick.”
She hums in response.
You remembered that day too. Conrad had come home with a toy giraffe stuffed in his bag and told you it was meant to make you feel better. He hadn’t won it, but he paid someone else for it. You’d kept it in your suitcase until you got home - knowing it wasn’t worth upsetting Belly over. And, to this day, on the same mattress sat the same toy you’d had for all those years.
“I don’t get him these days,” Belly shakes her head, “Sometimes I’m so sure he feels the same way about me and then other times… it’s like his heart is somewhere else.”
You swallow the lump in your throat and nod, “That’s all guys for you.”
“Not Jeremiah,” Belly laughs, “He’s been in love with you since I first brought you here.”
You laugh too, “I don’t know where you get that impression from.”
She scoffs, “You’re just blind, (Y/n).”
Belly looks up at you from where she lay and smiles, hugging the polar bear close to her chest. You smile back and ignore the slight tightness in your chest at being back here this summer - being back with the boy that your heart just seemed to pull to.
———
That night, you all start heading out to the drive in.
“Okay I’m just saying we’re not all sitting in one car to watch this movie,” Steven points out, “We won’t be able to see anything in the back.”
“You’re so dramatic, you’ll fall asleep halfway through anyway,” You roll your eyes, tugging your shoes on at the door, “I can just take my car too if it’s that big of a deal.”
Jeremiah, Belly and Steven all make their way outside, fighting over who will get shotgun in Jere’s car.
You glance back and see Conrad eventually coming down the stairs.
“Where are the others?” He frowns, grabbing his shoes and pulling them on.
“Um,” You clear your throat, “They’ve gone already, they’re going in Jere’s car, we’re taking mine.”
He nods, “I’ll drive.”
With that, he stretches out a hand to take your keys and you oblige, following behind him to where your car sat in the driveway.
Every so often, you could convince yourself that Conrad might ever feel the same way about you. It was in the little things. The glances, the comments, the smile. You could convince that small part of yourself that he was waiting for you as much as you were waiting for him. But it disappeared quickly.
But, now, seeing him behind the wheel of your car, humming along to the song playing through the radio, it felt like this could be something. You weren’t sure why. It was just a feeling.
———
By the time you get to the drive-in, it’s packed out. Conrad drives around the back and pulls into a space, nowhere near to Jere and the others.
“We can go and find them if you want,” You offer, glancing out of the window.
Conrad shrugs, “I like the peace and quiet without them.”
You laugh, “Just us then.”
The film starts and both of you sit in relative silence. You shift in your seat and cross your legs beneath you, leaning back against the chair. There’s a couple in the car beside you and your eyes drift over to them - how he sits with her head against his shoulder, his arm around her, looking down like she’s the only person in the world. You’d never had that with someone. Not that you hadn’t wanted to, or options hadn’t been there, but it just was never right for you.
And then your eyes turn back to Conrad. The light of the film catches against his skin, glowing his eyes just a little. It shadows down his jaw, darkening his jawline and brushing over the muscles. You take a deep breath. Ignore it. It wasn’t worth it.
He turns his head to look at you and you quickly look away.
“(Y/n)…”
“I’m going to grab a drink,” You say quickly, rushing to open the passenger door and scrambling out.
As soon as you’re outside, you gasp at the air like you hadn’t taken a single breath beside him. Like he’d taken them all away.
Ignore it. It wasn’t worth it.
———
“Oh my god this storm is awful,” You hiss into the air between you and Belly, snuggling under the covers of the double bed that you shared.
It was the following day and a storm had started to sweep over Cousins. There was a chill in the air all day and it had now turned into a full blown storm in the middle of the night. The rain was hammering down, wind sweeping over the houses, and thunder claps every few minutes.
“Belly,” You hiss again, “You awake?”
You’re met with the balanced, shallow breaths beside you that tell you she’s not hearing you. You sigh and shift in the bed until you’re sat on the mattress, debating your options. Sleep wouldn’t welcome you when the weather was like this. It wasn’t that you were scared of storms, they just unnerved you. Okay, you hated them.
With another clap of thunder, you step out of the bed and pull a hoodie over the crop top and shorts you’d been wearing, padding through the silent house and down the creaking steps. You wince with the creak on each one until you’re finally downstairs, stepping through into the kitchen.
“(Y/n)?” A voice speaks softly into the dark voice and you flinch instantly, spinning on your heel.
It’s Conrad.
“Con?” You frown, “Why are you awake?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” He returns.
He’s wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a forest green t-shirt. He looks cosy and innocent.
“Yeah, I just… uh-“
“You hate storms.”
You feel your cheeks heat at his words, looking down at your feet as if he’s just embarrassed you in front of no company at all.
“Come on,” He gestures with his head, his hands stuffed into his pockets, “I’m going to start the fire.”
You follow him through into the lounge and sit down on the floor beside him as he starts fixing up the fire. You hand over logs and he sets them in place, you hand over the matches and he scratches them against the box to set it alight, holding it against the paper until it ignites. The heat hits you almost instantly in the too-cold house, wrapping you in an embrace of crackling warmth.
At the same moment, another rumble of thunder sounds from outside and you visibly flinch, glancing quickly out of the window at the hammering rain. Conrad chuckles from beside you, only quietly.
“Don’t worry, we’ve had worse storms here,” He assures you.
“That doesn’t help,” You roll your eyes, drawing your knees up to your chest.
“Oh, come on, I promise it’s okay,” He nudges your shoulder, “Nothing’s going to happen.”
“Conrad Fisher are you going soft on me?” You narrow your eyes at him, “You’re normally so blunt.”
He looks away with a smile on his lips, “For everyone else, maybe.”
You feel your breath catch in your throat, the words escaping you. There was just something about the way he looked at you, the way his eyes just melt into you.
“You know I-“ He stops himself, taking a deep breath, “I kind of felt like things were different with us this summer.”
“D- different?”
“Don’t you?” He says, “I just feel like you’ve been… distant?”
You stop yourself from speaking again.
“And, tell me to stop, but I’m-“ He half-laughs as if it’s a way of escaping the nerves, “I’m… I just thought I was so sure that there was something between us.”
“Con-“
“And you can tell me that I’m wrong but I don’t think I am.”
“Conrad I-“ You pause, biting your lip, “I can’t.”
“Just…” He shuffles in closer to you, his hand slowly rising to your cheek, thumb brushing the skin, “Tell me to stop.”
With that, he leans in and you find yourself pulled to him too, every bone in your body finally giving in to what you wanted. Your hands move to grip his shoulder, his breath fanning over your lips as he presses his against yours, slow at first and cautious.
You practically gasp at the contact, pulling him into you as if you don’t want him to slip away. His hand moves lower from your jaw and down to your neck, fingers wrapping around the back to keep you drawn to him, his other hand moving down to your waist. His fingers slip further back to the base of your spine, guiding you back against the floor as his other hand lowers your head down softly. You pull him back to your lips, fingers tangling into his hair. Both of you tangled between each other as his legs settle next to and between yours.
Once both of you are breathless, he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He mumbles, laughing gently against you.
“I think I have some idea,” You respond, gripping his shoulders once again to pull him back into you.
———
It’s much later than normal the next morning when you eventually wake up. You and Conrad had split off into your separate rooms just as the fire was dying out and, with the sun blaring through the windows now, it just felt like it hadn’t happened. Like last night was a dream.
“Hey! You’re finally awake!” Belly announces as she walks back into the bedroom, “What happened to you last night?”
“Oh, um,” You lean up onto your elbows, “You know what I’m like, I hate storms.”
She nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, “We were thinking of what to do today.”
“Yeah? What’s the plan?” You drag a hand through your hair, feeling the flashbacks of Conrad’s fingers tangled amongst the strands.
“I don’t know yet, maybe we could go out tonight? There’s a party I think, one of Jere’s friends,” Belly suggests, picking Junior Mint up from the floor and setting him back onto the bed.
You feel your heart drop. The realisation seemingly hitting you like a ton of bricks. This was awful. What had you done?
It would break her heart if she knew what had happened last night.
But, god, you wanted to see Conrad again.
She disappears again to let you somewhat wake up fully and you push yourself enough out of the bed that your legs dangle over the side, dragging your hair away from your face and rubbing your hands over your eyes.
You don’t hear anyone coming into the room until he’s already dropping down onto the mattress behind you. The weight shifts and an all too familiar figure sits behind you, leaning forward to press a kiss to the exposed slither of skin on your shoulders.
“Good morning,” Conrad mumbles softly, his voice thick with sleep like your own.
You let yourself lean into his touch for a moment, every sensation from the night before seemingly reignited. It was real. He leans forward and perches his chin on your shoulder, tilting his head to look at you from the awkward angle.
“You know when we said last night that we’d be careful this isn’t what I meant,” You point out as he turns to kiss your neck, “This definitely isn’t careful.”
Conrad pulls back and you turn around on the bed so that you’re facing him, he reaches up a hand to brush the hair away from your face, “We’ll be careful. If that’s what it takes, we’ll do it.”
“I just…” You shake your head, “I can’t hurt Belly like that, not like this.”
Conrad nods and reaches a hand down to squeeze yours, “You won’t, I promise.”
You smile, taking a deep breath.
“But,” Conrad stands up, still holding your hand like he can’t bring himself to lose contact yet, “I would like to at least see you today. So if you could figure out a way for me to get you alone, that would be great.”
“God, you’re so needy Fisher.”
He rolls his eyes at you and disappears back out of the room, leaving you with a smile on your lips that it was impossible to get rid of.
———
Later that day, you’re outside with Belly, Jere and Steven by the pool, deciding on your plans for the evening.
“I’m just saying we should go, if it’s shit we can leave,” Jeremiah shrugs, “But like everyone’s going to be there.”
“Looking for someone to hook up with Jere?” Steven raises his eyebrows, splashing him with water from the pool.
Jeremiah scoffs, “Obviously not,” His eyes glance over to you, a small smile on his lips, “I just think it could be fun.”
“Alright but if we’re going we need drinks,” You point out, the idea crossing your mind as soon as you say the words, “I can go to the store.”
“There’s no way you’re getting anything,” Belly laughs, “You don’t have a fake.”
“No, but they know me less than they know you guys - so I’ll be more likely to get away with it, no?” You mention, pushing yourself up to stand, “Need anything else if I’m going?”
They all look at you slightly suspiciously but you ignore it, hurrying inside.
“Hey! I was just looking for yo-“ Conrad starts, just stepping down from the stairs as you rush through the house.
“Come on Fisher!” You grin, grabbing his hand on your way past, “We’re going out.”
He laughs breathlessly to catch up with you, following close behind as you grab your keys and run with him to your car.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” He raises his brows, pausing at the passenger side of the car.
You smile, “Didn’t you say you wanted to see me today?”
Conrad grins, “I won’t ask any more questions.”
Both of you pile into the car and you drive off, feeling like a new level of weightlessness when it was just the two of you together. You feel his eyes on you as you drive, like he’s infatuated by every part of you, and when you look back to him he doesn’t look away - the smile on his face only brightening at the connection. Part of you still couldn’t believe it.
You drive the two of you through the country lanes, through the rolling hills until you reach any level of seclusion, pulling up on a bank just over by the beach, overlooking an area that seemed completely untouched.
“Have you brought me here to kill me?” He looks at you slightly dumbfounded, “Should I be worried?”
“Well, there’s nobody here, I figured it was perfect,” You shrug, reaching into the back of your car to grab a couple of blankets.
“It is,” Conrad says, following your moves as you both get out of the car and walk down the short bank towards the sand.
The clearing of the beach is completely empty, and you stretch one of the blankets down onto the white sand, dropping down onto the soft surface and tossing the other blanket to your side. Conrad stands above you, his head blocking the sun as he grins down at you, his hair falling around his forehead.
“Hi,” You squint up at him, reaching out your arms until you can pull him into you.
He falls down beside you, leaning up onto his elbow.
“I still can’t believe this,” You comment, reaching up a hand to brush through the locks of hair around his eyes.
“Can’t believe what?”
“This. Us.” You say, feeling your stomach flip at the words, “I never thought it would happen.”
He frowns a little when you speak, “Why did you think that?”
You take a deep breath, “I’ve always been Bells’ friend, I thought that’s all you saw me as. God, they’re probably wondering where we are an-“
He leans down and silences your worries with a soft kiss, his lips lingering over yours without any pressure.
“They’re not thinking about us,” He assures you, “I’m thinking about us.”
You feel the smile tugging at your lips and he captures it into another kiss, as if sealing it between you.
You grip at his t-shirt and the back of his neck, pulling him into you as he shifts so that he’s over the top of your frame, deepening his connection against you. You’re breathless against his lips, desperate for more of him. His hand moves down to your waist, slipping below the hem of your top to hold your skin. You hiss at the contact, the cold touch of his fingertips.
He pulls back and smiles at you, glancing back around at the empty scene around you, “You know, there’s nobody around.”
You grin, looking to the side and pulling over the other blanket, shaking it out. He grabs it from you and stretches it over his back, burying both of you under your own seclusion.
His hands and lips find you again, his hips increasing their friction against you. And, in those moments, you’re sure that you two are the only two people in the world. Nobody else.
———
You get back a couple of hours later, carrying in a brown paper bag of liquor as Conrad walks behind you with two crates of beer.
“Listen I’m just saying that-“
You stop in your tracks as the door closes behind you and Jeremiah is stood in the hallway by the front door, at the base of the stairs.
“Where did you guys go?” He asks, glancing between the two of you.
“To the store,” Conrad says, nodding down to the items in your arms, “Getting the goods for you kids tonight.”
Jeremiah nods, “I could’ve gone with you (Y/n), if you needed help.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Con was just in the house when I came through so I asked if he wanted to come.”
Conrad smiles down at his feet and you fight the urge to nudge him in his side.
“Here, let me take that,” Jeremiah offers, taking the bag from your arms.
You thank him and he walks into the kitchen, Conrad following behind him, wiggling his brows at you before he disappears. You roll your eyes, fighting back a smile he always seemed to evoke.
“Hey!” Belly comes jogging down the stairs, “I thought I heard you, did you get everything at the store?”
“Yeah, yeah, got everything,” You nod, “Conrad got beer, and we got a bottle of tequila and vodka.”
“That’s where he was,” Belly returns, “I wasn’t sure where he’d disappeared to.”
You drag a hand through your hair, “Yeah sorry it was just a last minute thing, I figured I could do with the extra hands.”
She agrees, “I don’t think he’ll come tonight, he’s been distant recently.”
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m sure we can convince him,” You glance over to where him and Jere are stood in the kitchen and he laughs at something his brother has said, his eyes creasing as he does so.
You’re sure this is the brightest he’s seemed in a long time and you feel your heart swell a little at the sight.
And then Belly moves beside you and you’re flicked back to reality momentarily, a reality where your stomach sank at the thought of lying to your best friend.
———
All of you arrive at the party an hour after it had started, having made your way through at least half of the drinks you’d brought with you. You were wearing a pink floral fitted mini skirt and a white corset top that hugged your figure. You’d felt Conrad’s eyes on you almost as soon as you’d come downstairs.
The boys follow behind you as you all disperse amongst the party, you holding onto Belly’s hand as the two of you make your way to the kitchen.
“I’m already a bit buzzed,” Belly says into your ear, wearing a romper that she’d stolen from you, “I don’t think I should drink any more.”
You smile at her, “Here,” You pour lemonade into a red solo cup and push it into her hand, “They don’t need to know.”
You take your own bottle of beer and crack it open, holding your thumb over the top as you move back through the mass of bodies in search for the three boys’ heads that would pop up over the crowd.
“Wait,” Belly stops you, grabbing your arm, “I need to ask you something.”
You frown at her, shifting to face her against the moving bodies around you, “What is it?”
She leans in closer to you as she speaks, “I think I’m going to tell Conrad how I feel.”
You feel your heart drop, a lump forming in your throat.
“I just… I’ve been waiting for too long. And if I don’t say it now I never will,” She explains, “I can’t do that any more.”
You still can’t find the words, certain that you’ll stop breathing if the lump in your throat gets any larger. Your hands start to feel a little numb and you grip tighter onto the neck of the beer bottle to feel like you could be grounded at least a little.
“I have to say something,” She persists, “And hopefully he’ll tell me he feels the same way.”
Without realising, you stumble a little in the crowd and she reaches out to catch you.
“Are you okay?” Your best friend frowns at you.
“I just- I need some air,” You return, trying to force your words to be loud enough over the pounding music.
You push your way through the remaining people until you get to enough of a clearing, where you can get outside into the garden. Instantly, it’s like you’re gasping for a breath it was impossible to find.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Belly asks you, holding your arm as if holding you up.
“Um,” You drag a hand through your curled hair and look back at her, “Yeah, yeah, sorry, I just felt a bit dizzy in there.”
“God you terrified me,” She half-laughs, “Come on, the boys are over there.”
Belly guides you over to the beer pong table set up at one side of the terrace in the garden, Steven and Jeremiah are stood on one side and Conrad on the other.
“Hey! Bells, (Y/n)!” Jeremiah waves, “Come join us, we’re just starting.”
“Okay but I’m not drinking,” Belly grimaces at the sight of the half-filled cups.
“You can join our team then, (Y/n) can go with Conrad,” Steven shrugs, “Let’s go rookies.”
You walk over to Conrad’s side of the table and watch his eyes drag up and down the sight of your body, cocking your brow at him when his eyes finally meet yours. He blushes, fighting back a smile.
Jeremiah throws the first ball and it bounces from one of your cups, Conrad catching it as he throws it back, sinking it into one of the cups at the edge of their triangle.
“Nice shot,” You comment quietly, sipping from the beer in your hand.
He reaches an arm around your shoulders and takes the bottle from your hand, bringing it to his own lips to take a sip.
“Come on, drink up,” Steven breaks the moment, gesturing towards the ball now landed in one of the cups on your side.
You roll your eyes and pick up the cup, tipping back the drink and grimacing at the overwhelming taste.
“Alright, my turn,” You say, picking up the ball and lining up to throw it towards them.
Conrad’s hand falls to the small of your back, the bare skin between your top and skirt. You glance back with slightly widened eyes but quickly try to ignore it. He was buzzed, that’s what it was. All of his inhibitions were lowered, and his widened pupils couldn’t help but focus on you. You throw the ball from your hand and it bounces to land in their front cup. In one movement, you shift to stand directly in front of Conrad, trying your best to shield his desperation for you. The other three seem too distracted anyway, bickering over which one of them has to drink as Conrad holds your waist, pulling you back against him.
“Con,” You say under your breath, tightening your grip on the edge of the table, “Not here.”
He listens almost instantly, his hands loosening on you as he steps to the side, eyes not leaving you.
“We’ll leave early,” You mention quietly and he smirks, pursing his lips together.
“Come on losers, one of you has got to drink,” Conrad encourages, clasping his hands together, a new lease of life seemingly coursing through him.
You go about the rest of the game and you and Conrad both grimace through another two cups each before you eventually win the game, pushing your remaining cups to the other side for the rest to drink.
“Alright, I need to find the bathroom,” You mention, checking your reflection in the black mirror of your phone screen, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
You squeeze Conrad’s forearm before stepping past him to walk towards the house, trailing through the bodies and eventually making your way upstairs to the nearest available bathroom, shooting him a text of ‘second door on the left’.
You sit yourself on the closed lid of the toilet until, only a minute later, there’s a tap at the door. Without so much as a second thought, you stand up and unlock the door quickly, grinning at the sight of Conrad on the other side. He glances once over his shoulder to check for any prying eyes in the empty corridor before stepping in, hands gripping your waist instantly and turning you around, pressing you against the door as it closes behind you. You gasp at the contact and your mouth falls open, Conrad dipping his head to kiss at your neck.
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you in this,” He grumbles, pressing against you, “You’re killing me (Y/l/n).”
“Yeah? I couldn’t tell,” You smirk, your hands moving down to unbutton his trousers, pushing him back until his back hits the opposite wall.
———
You adjust your skirt once, twice more, before stepping outside, running a hand through your hair once again, dragging a finger under either of your eyes. Conrad had left a couple of minutes ago so it was likely safe for you to do so too.
“There you are!” Belly exclaims, hurrying over to you as soon as you step onto the staircase, “Conrad said you were being sick.”
“Um,” You swallow to compose yourself, “Yeah, yeah, just too much beer I think.”
“Okay, yeah, Steven’s been sick in the garden too, I think we’re going to head home,” She nods, “Are you okay? Do you need some water or something?”
There’s that feeling again, the sinking in your chest. The sick in your stomach, not the kind of sick from Conrad’s lie. This was real. It was real because your best friend was stood in front of you and she cared about you, so openly and blatantly she cared about you, and you were lying to her. Over something that would break her heart. You were lying to her.
“Come on, let’s go,” She puts an arm out for you to take her hand and leads you down the staircase to where the three boys are waiting at the bottom.
Conrad looks up at you as you come down, a smile on his lips before he looks back down at his feet. His hair was messier than normal and you wondered whether anyone had questioned it.
“You feeling okay (Y/n)?” Jeremiah frowns, “Here, take this.”
He tugs the flannel from around his shoulders and hands it to you, waiting for your arms to slip into the sleeves.
“Oh, yeah, thanks Jere,” You nod, adjusting the material around you.
Conrad clenches his jaw, opening the door and stepping out without another word. You all follow behind, taking the shortcut that lead you back towards Susannah’s house, eventually reaching the familiar setting. Steven stumbles and clings onto Jeremiah, telling him that they should carry on drinking, and Belly looks at you every two seconds as if you’re about to break beside her, Conrad doesn’t look back at you.
Everything just feels… off. Jeremiah’s shirt seemed to itch around your arms and it didn’t sit right around your shoulders, and Belly’s arm was linked in yours but it just didn’t seem to rest there properly and it made your arm ache when you focused on it for too long, and why wouldn’t Conrad look at you?!
You eventually get back into the house and Jeremiah carries Steven’s weight through the corridor as quietly as he can, making sure he takes one stumbling step at a time. Belly tells you she’s going to get in the bathroom before anyone else does and you and Conrad are left stood in the doorway.
He glances back at you.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” You offer, pulling Jeremiah’s shirt from around you.
“You could’ve used mine,” He mumbles softly.
“Your what?” You frown, blinking at him in the low light.
“My jacket, you could’ve borrowed it,” He shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
“Conrad Fisher are you jealous?” You scoff, and for a moment in your laughter you forget about everything that had been worrying you on the way home. It’s just you and him again.
He rolls his eyes, “No, I just mean-“
You step forward until you’re directly below him, waiting until his eyes will meet yours.
“Admit it,” You state simply, “Admit you were jealous.”
“Im not jealous it’s just-“ He stops, “I don’t- I didn’t-“
You raise your brows, fighting to stop yourself from laughing at him.
“Good night,” He grumbles turning away from you.
You grab his hand and stop him, turning him around so that you can press the quickest peck to his lips. Conrad looks at you with a smile on his lips, drawing you back in to kiss him again, a second longer.
It’s only when you pull away that you both think to glance to the top of the stairs - to the figure stood at the top of them.
“What the fuck?” Steven mumbles, stumbling a little and catching himself on the wall.
Conrad looks at you almost instantly and you watch the worry cast over his face, him watching the exact same expression pass over yours.
“Come on, man, let’s get you to bed,” Jeremiah encourages, hurrying back over to Steven and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
He pauses when he sees the two of you at the bottom of the stairs, both looking up like you’ve seen a ghost.
“Good night guys,” He frowns, hooking his arm below Steven’s armpits and dragging him towards his bedroom.
Conrad looks at you again and his mouth opens as if to say something, stopping before he speaks, closing his mouth again, waiting, and then saying, “I’m so sorry (Y/n).”
You look at him and frown, hearing the way the words catch in his throat as if assuring you they’re honest. You can practically feel the way his chest would have been tightening against the words, the way he’d struggle against them.
“Hey,” You reach out a hand and take his, squeezing it, “Not your fault.”
He looks down at you and swallows the lump in his throat.
“Come on, not here,” You encourage, pulling his hand with you as the two of you walk through the empty bottom floor.
You lead him into the lounge where the two of you sit down in front of the fireplace. You cross your legs and face him and he stretches his out towards the fireplace, leaning back against the couch behind you.
“Okay, chances are Steven’s not going to keep his mouth shut,” You begin, “Even drunk, he’ll probably remember what he saw.”
Conrad just nods.
“Look, I get it. It’s only been a couple of days, and this ruins things and I totally understand if you don’t want this to carry-“
“Woah, woah, woah,” Conrad bolts upright, “What gave you that impression?”
“Well,” You look down at your hands in your lap, “I know we’ve been hooking up but everyone knowing is going to make this into something and I don’t know if you’re ready for that or if you want that or… I don’t know.”
“(Y/n),” He takes one of your hands and interlocks his fingers with yours, his large grip folding over your knuckles, “I want this. Not just sneaking off and hooking up, I want this. I want you.”
You feel your heart skip a beat, your whole body feeling like it could ignite under his touch.
“If they find out now, then we deal with it, okay?” He waits until your eyes find his, “We’re in this for the long haul, right?”
You nod and watch the corners of his lips curl up into a smile. You turn so that your back is against the couch beside him and he wraps an arm around your back, your head resting on his shoulder and his resting atop yours. You’re sure you could stay like that forever. And, somewhere along the line, both of you drift off to sleep.
———
When you blink your eyes open, for a second you hope you’re dreaming… or perhaps this is more like being in a nightmare. Stood directly in front of the pair of you, are the looming figures of Jeremiah, Steven and… Belly. You nudge Conrad and he blinks awake too, groaning at the stiff pain in his neck.
“God I thought I was dreaming last night but I wasn’t, was I?” Steven gestures between the two of you, “I mean, you guys are…”
You glance at Conrad and back to the others, scrambling to your feet, “I can explain-“
You reach out for Belly but she pulls away, storming out of the room as quickly as she can. You feel the tears bubble in your eyes, the lump in your throat.
“I mean, seriously (Y/n)?” Steven scoffs, “You knew how she felt about him. She’s meant to be your best friend.”
“I didn’t mean for-“
“Conrad?!” Jeremiah exclaims, “Seriously, of all the people you could’ve been with you went for Conrad? The one person you knew would break Belly’s heart.”
“It wasn’t like that,” You shake your head quickly, “It just happened and-“
“Well maybe if you weren’t so busy thinking about fucking-“
“Hey!” Conrad stands up beside you, stepping ahead so that he shields you from them, directing his anger onto his brother, “Don’t talk to her like that.”
“You’re fucking unbelievable, do you know that?” Jeremiah laughs, “I tell you I like a girl and you take that as a sign to get her for yourself?”
“Jere, stop,” Conrad warns, “You’re going to say something you regret.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Jeremiah raises his voice, “You knew that I liked her, you knew I fucking liked her and you just cared about yourself.”
“It wasn’t like that, (Y/n) decided who she wanted to be with, I did too. It’s not always about you Jere,” Conrad shakes his head, “When are you going to grow up and realise that?”
“When am I going to grow up? How about you growing up and realising you’re going to break her fucking heart?” Jere shrugs, “I mean, seriously, emotionally unavailable Conrad? In a relationship that’ll last? You’ll break her heart and she’ll come crying to-“
“Stop!” You raise your voice, pushing to step aside from behind Conrad, “Both of you stop fucking talking about me like I’m not even here. I can’t deal with this right now, I need to find Belly.”
“(Y/n)…”
You hear the faint tone of Conrad’s voice behind you but it’s overshadowed by the blood pounding in your ears as you hurry through the house to find her, catching sight of her just by the pool.
“Belly!” You call, pushing open the door, “Belly please just talk to me!”
“You knew, (Y/n),” She spins on her heel to face you, her eyes puffy with tears, “You knew I liked him. From the minute we were in middle school I told you I liked him. I told you every summer since, and you listened to me every single fucking time. And then, what? You just wanted him for yourself this whole time.”
“It wasn’t like that…” You shake your head, “I never meant for it to happen, especially not like this.”
“Then what was it like, (Y/n)?”
You pause, seemingly incapable of finding any words in the moment, “I- I just…”
She crosses her arms over her chest and looks at you as if you’re a person she doesn’t recognise.
“It was a couple of summers ago, I don’t know what changed. He just seemed… different. And then I noticed it more last summer, just the little things in how he was acting with me, I couldn’t explain it. I never told you because I knew how much it would hurt you to think that I liked him too. But the other night things just happened and he told me how he felt about me and… I never meant for you to find out like this, and I never meant to lie to you.”
“Well, which one is it? Did you not want me to find out or did you not want to lie to me? You can’t have both.”
“I-“ You fight back the tears stinging at your eyes, “I didn’t want to break your heart, Bells. But I could feel myself falling in love with him and him falling in love wi-“
“In love?” She steps forward, eyebrows raised against the redness of her cheeks, “It’s not love, (Y/n). Conrad doesn’t love you. You’re just there and he knows he can have you. You’ll realise that eventually.”
Her words are void of any emotion other than hatred, spitting from her mouth like she’s desperate for them to escape her. She storms past you and down the side of the house, each one of her steps carrying more anger than the last.
You feel your chest tighten, the way it seems to contort and twist when you’re on the verge of tears.
The garden door opens again and it’s Conrad this time. At the second your eyes meet his, you release every emotion in side of you, letting out a sob. He reacts almost instantly, hurrying down to scoop you into his arms, letting you bury your head on his chest, soaking through his t-shirt. One of his hands grips around your back and the other holds your head against him, running through your hair.
“It’s okay, (Y/n),” His voice is soft, like he is terrified of breaking you further.
You pull away from him and look up to his face, shaking your head through the tears still spilling from your eyes, “How is it going to be okay, Con? They hate us. All of them hate us.”
“Hey,” His hands move up to either of your cheeks, thumbs brushing under your eyes to swipe away the tears before they can even fall, “It’s you and me, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
You let yourself sink into the feeling of his arms around you, his heartbeat sounding less certain than his words did.
“You’ve got me.”
And in that moment, you know it’s true.
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imbestforyou · 1 year ago
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LOST WITHOUT YOU
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blurb - not requested
pairing: conrad fisher x reader
summary: reader calls conrad to pick her up from a party after she can’t find anyone
word count: 361
warnings: drinking, kinda unedited
a/n: this is the first thing I've written in like a month and it's actually so cute 🫶
masterlist | navigation
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conrad was the type of guy who cared about how you felt. if there were tears in your eyes that you were trying to hide? he would notice. if you were feeling uncomfortable in your body? he would notice. faking smiles to make others feel comfortable? he would make you laugh until you couldn’t stop.
and tonight was no different. ‘cause when he picked up the phone he could immediately tell something was wrong.
you went to a party with jeremiah, steven, and belly. conrad was at home sick. you drank a bit and were having a bit of fun. but before you knew it, the party was boring and you couldn’t find any of your friends. and they weren’t answering your calls. your last option was conrad. and you felt horrible to call him.
“hey conrad?”
“hey baby what’s up? are you okay?”
“um, im so sorry but i can’t find jere or steven or belly and i already started drinking. and i want to go home and i feel horrible to do this to you because you’re sick and i should find another ride but-“
“hey hey. it’s okay. i was already feeling better anyways. do not get in another car, i’ll be there in five.”
you both said your goodbyes and you waited outside the front of the house sitting by the curb. just like he promised in five minutes he was there getting out of the car and making sure you got to the passenger seat safely.
“im so sorry conrad.”
“no- hey, stop apologizing.” he cut you off, “i’m glad you called me. i would rather be throwing up on the wheel sick than you get in some random person's car and me not knowing where you are or who you’re with. okay?” he put his hand on your cheek and leaned in to kiss you.
“okay.” you sighed, “i’d be lost without you.”
he smiles, “well, I'll always be here.” before he shuts the door he kisses you again.
he puts his seatbelt on before opening his phone and calling someone, “and i’m gonna kill jere for supposedly being the dd and not having his phone on.”
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allforhee · 10 months ago
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ੈ✩ — 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒. (BLURB) | LEE HEESEUNG
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୨୧ pairing — older brother's best friend!lee heeseung x park!fem!reader
୨୧ synopsis — living under the protective eyes of your older brother, park sunghoon, he thinks he knows you the best. but litte does he know that heeseung knows you love your sour patch kids more than you love his usual swedish fish. (inspired by the summer i turned pretty scene where conrad knows belly's taste of candies more than jeremiah)
୨୧ genre — non!idol au, you're 20 and hee is 22, you and hee are dating but sunghoon doesn't know, sort of childhood friends to lovers?
୨୧ warnings — cursing, forbidden (ish) romance, cute fluff where heeseung knows you best, backstreet dating behind sunghoon's back, heeseung and sunghoon having a little quarrel, possesive/sassy-ish hee
୨୧ word count — 562 words, 3148 characters (sort of proofread?)
୨୧ author's note — first blurb and i lowkey wrote this on my phone during english class.. had to get this out of my system cause i absolutely loved this scene in tsitp. plus i felt like i needed to write something since i won't be releasing "it's a crisis"'s full fic anytime soon since i'm busy with exams coming up :(
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𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓.
the car comes to a stop under the gas station’s bright led light. sunghoon takes off his seatbelt as he grabs his wallet in his pocket, before exiting the car, leaving you and heeseung alone.
you could feel the tension between you and heeseung. the heavy rain outside making it seem louder. he was slumped over in the backseat with his phone in his hand, the bright light illuminating his features.
when did he become so handsome?
sunghoon opens the driver’s side’s door, “we’re two hours away from home, gas is filling up and i’m gonna get some snacks. you want any y/n?”
“i’m down with anything, honestly.” you respond.
as sunghoon is about to close the door, heeseung takes off his seatbelt, whispering a “i’ll come with.” before closing the car door.
the mini market’s door rings a slight ding! as sunghoon pushes the door open. the constant buzzing of the refrigerator and the broken acs filled the room. the two split up searching for bare necessities like snacks and water to keep them company on the way home.
as a couple minutes passed, the two found each other again at the cash register, dropping the things at checkout.
in sunghoon’s hands was a bag of swedish fish, meanwhile in heeseung’s was a bag of sour patch kids.
“don’t waste your money bud, she likes these better.” heeseung snickered, a smirk on his face.
sunghoon lets out a sigh, “they’re practically the same.” he defends himself.
“not to y/n. she thinks swedish fish tastes like candles. she likes sour.”
“why do you even care, hee?” he asks him. “she’s my sister, i know her.”
heeseung licks his lips as he lets out a small laugh, “i don’t.”
“that’s bullshit.” sunghoon scoffs.
“you still want these?” the cashier asks the two, pointing at the swedish fish.
“yes yes, of course.” sunghoon answers.
“i tried to warn him.” heeseung laughs at his best friend.
“why are you acting lik—like this?!” sunghoon asks, a slight bit of anger heard through his voice.
“relax, you big fucking baby. i’m just messing with ya man.” heeseung chuckles, giving his best friend a pat on the back.
with a glare, sunghoon taps his debit card at the scanner, paying for their snacks, picking up the plastic bag and murmuring a small thank you, to the cashier, before they rush out back into their car in the pouring rain.
as the two car doors slam, you take the plastic bag from sunghoon’s hands, diving in.
“what did you get?” you ask the two, ruffling the inside of the bag.
“ooh! sour patch, my favorite!” you glimmer, opening the package as you dive into the sour goodness. but you didn’t miss the bag of swedish fish in sunghoon’s hands.
“oh! i could, um, eat this swedish fish… after?”
sunghoon opened the bag before he responded with a “no, no it’s okay. i got them for me.” as he popped a little fish in his mouth, chewing with disappointment.
“okay.”
sunghoon’s brows furrowed, knowing damn well that his best friend was right.
even from the backseat, he could feel heeseung shooting him a look that was screaming i told you so! before he put the car into ignition.
as sunghoon pressed the gas and started driving into the dark rainy night, his sister chewing on her sour patch kids, he heard heeseung letting out small whisper right in his ear.
“you see? my girl knows her sour patch kids.”
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taglist; @ariadores
back to my masterlist?
© 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐇𝐄𝐄, est. 2024 | do not plagiarize, modify, translate, or repost my works on any platforms.
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heavcnslyre · 1 year ago
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— jeremiah fisher x reader
series masterlist
(message me to join the taglist!)
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“as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything — and everyone — around you.”
12-17-24 UPDATE! MOVED TO WATTPAD
https://www.wattpad.com/story/386683335?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=superncvas
notes: ( does not follow complete canon timeline / storyline, written for a female reader, no major warnings apply other than swearing, playlist depicted in each chapter title—this is super taylor swift coded, just like the show )
chapter one, “gorgeous”
chapter two, “cruel summer”
chapter three, “lover, you should’ve come over”
chapter four, “out of the woods”
chapter five, “it’s time to go”
chapter six, “this is me trying”
chapter seven, “afterglow”
chapter eight, “all of the girls you loved before” COMING SOON
chapter nine, “soon you’ll get better” COMING SOON
( more chapters to be added )
status: unedited
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jinwoosbabyboo · 1 day ago
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Nevermind I'll Get It
How I imagine the LADS Men reacting to you being too impatient to wait for their help. [Requested by: Onliafaze]
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Zayne
MC: Zayne can you help me real quick
Zayne: *sending a quick email* Yes what is it
MC: Can you grab my tumbler off the shelf for me I want to drink my tea on the balcony without bugs flying in it
Zayne: Yes give me on minute
MC: Okay
Less than three minutes later there's a loud crash in the kitchen
Zayne: What was that?
MC: Nothing!
Zayne finds you halfway off the counter trying not to step in glass
Zayne: I told you to give me a minute
MC: Yea and then two minutes passed
Zayne: So shattering multiple glasses was a better solution than waiting?
MC: Just help me down
Zayne: I should leave you there to think about your actions
MC: Zayne please!
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Rafayel
You walk into the living room and find Rafayel sketching in silence
MC: Raf can you help me bring this box in?
Rafayel: What is it?
MC: A new bookshelf and it's heavy
Rafayel: Yea just give me one second cutie
You leave the room and suddenly Rafayel hears you scream bloody murder
Rafayel: *Rushes to you* What happened?!
MC: I DROPPED IT ON MY FOOT GET IT OFF!
Rafayel: I TOLD YOU TO GIVE ME A SECOND!
MC: AND YOU TOOK FIVE!
Rafayel lifts the box off your foot and moves it so it won't fall on you again
Rafayel: *Inspecting your foot* Two seconds if you would've waited two more seconds
MC: I thought I could carry it on my own
Rafayel: Thats what you get for thoughtin' now look at you *holds your foot up*
MC: *pouting* Put some pep in your step next time
Rafayel: At least I have feet to step and put pep in … you almost lost your toes being impatient
MC: I know you're not talking you are literally the most impatient person alive
Rafayel: That's beside the point
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Xavier
MC: Xav where's the step stool?
Xavier: I think Jeremiah still has it
MC: Well can you come grab this wine glass of the shelf I don't feel like climbing the counter
Xavier: Yea give me one second
MC: Nevermind you sound busy
Xavier hears the sound of glass shattering and your cry of pain.
Xavier: What happened?
MC: The glass slipped out my hand when I jumped down and now I have glass in my foot
Xavier: Why didn't you wait for me?
MC: You sounded busy
Xavier: I'm never too busy for you wait for me next time
MC: Okay okay whatever please get this glass outta my foot
Xavier: *Scoops you up off the floor* Alright does it hurt?
MC: No it feels great I wish I could have glass in my foot all the time yes it hurts!
Xavier: No need for the sarcasm you did this to yourself
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Sylus
MC: Sy can you come get Mephisto off my vanity he keeps building a nest with my stuff
Sylus: Maybe he just wants to feel half as pretty as you
MC: Come get him before I dismantle him
Sylus: I’m coming sweetie give me one minute
2 minutes later....
MC: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!
Sylus walks in the find you chasing Mephisto around the room
Sylus: What’s going on.
MC: I tried to scoot him off and this bag of wires cracked my concealer in half and got it all over the place
Sylus: He doesn’t like being pushed
MC: How was I supposed to know that?
Sylus: You would've known if you had given me a minute sweetie
MC: I gave you one and two minutes passed after that so that’s not my fault….
Sylus: *Raises his brow and smirks* and what did we learn from being impatient
MC: That my concealer is not Mephistos color
Sylus: No.
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 1 year ago
Note
The part where Jeremiah’s like if I start kissing you I’m scared I won’t be able to stop or something like that! Chills
My Jeremiah stuff keeps flopping, why are you doing this to me...
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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Under the moonlit sky of the golf course, everyone was getting ready for bed. Steven and Taylor had gotten tablecloths and cushions from the debutante ballroom. It wasn’t as comfortable as a real bed, but it was better than sleeping on the grass. At least it was summer. And thank god it wasn’t pouring rain.
Not feeling tired yet, you decided to walk around. These past nights, your dreams have been haunted by bright blue eyes and a sweet smile, as if pressing you to make a move on Jeremiah Fisher. You shared a kiss on the boardwalk last summer and didn’t stop thinking about it all year. It was embarrassingly pathetic.
Talking about Jeremiah, you spotted him by the golf cart, folding tablecloths to make blankets. A smile curled on your lips and you walked toward him. 
‘’Hey, Jere.’’ 
‘’Hey,’’ he returned, short and dry. 
A frown drew between your eyebrows. ‘’Do you want to go inside and finish the movie?’’ 
‘’Not really. It’s kinda late.’’ He continued folding the tablecloths, completely ignoring you. 
‘’Oh. Okay.’’ You nodded, understanding. It was late. ‘’If you ever need a place to sleep tomorrow night, you can come to my house. I’m sure my parents—’’ 
‘’That’s very kind of you, but no thanks.’’ 
You lowered your eyes at the grass, watching it slip between your toes in your sandals. You were trying to be kind, but he obviously didn't want your help. 
He was still upset about the house and his aunt and dad teaming up to sell it, but there was something else. Something related to you. 
Last night, on the boardwalk, he was sweet and touchy and even gave you some of his candy he and the boys won. Now, he was a different person. Cold. Distant. It’s like he didn’t want to talk to you, to be with you.
You could only think of one thing related to you that Jeremiah could be acting strange over. 
‘’Is it because of the kiss we shared last summer?’’
You hadn't talked about it since it happened and kisses often make things awkward in friendships.
Jeremiah shook his head. ‘’It’s not that,’’ he said. ‘’I…I liked the kiss.’’ 
‘’Then why do you keep pushing me away? Since you arrived in Cousins, you’ve been so confusing. You almost hold my hand in the theater and now you push me away like I have plague. I can’t decipher those mixed signals, Jeremiah. I'm not a detective, I'm a teenage girl.’’
With a deep breath, Jeremiah looked directly into your eyes. ‘’Because when I’m alone with you, all I think about is kissing you and if I kiss you, I don’t know that I can ever stop.’’
His words hung in the air, mixing with the crickets' chirp, a confession of feelings you were not expecting to hear tonight — or ever. Your heart started beating faster in your chest, realizing that you had been wrong about Jeremiah. He wasn’t giving you mixed signals because he was playing with you, he was giving you mixed signals because he was scared of his feelings for you. 
You opened your mouth to speak, but Jeremiah spoke first. 
‘’Life has been really hard these past months, but I never wanted to push you away. I wanted to call you after our kiss, I wanted to ask you on a date and hold your hand and kiss you again. But I found out about my mom and I couldn’t think about anything else,’’ he admitted, his voice soft and earnest. 
You looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity, but you didn’t see any. 
‘’When I saw you at Rosie’s, I was so happy.’’ A genuine soft smile tugged at his lips, thinking back to two days ago. ‘’Seeing you face to face is much better than through your instagram.’’ 
You raised an eyebrow at him. ‘’You stalked my instagram?’’ 
Jeremiah covered his face and groaned, embarrassed. ‘’Is that all you picked up?’’ 
You uncovered his face and intertwined your fingers with his. ‘’No, but it’s an interesting anecdote. I didn’t know you were the type of guy who stalked girls on social media.’’ 
‘’I’m not!’’ he defended, regretting saying that now.
‘’I know.’’ You chuckled. ‘’I’m just teasing you.’’ 
A sense of warmth and comfort enveloped the two of you, the tension that had been lingering between you dissipating. Although all of your friends were sleeping a few meters nearby, it felt like there was no one else in the world but the two of you. Especially when you looked up into his eyes. It’s so easy to get lost in their beauty and forget everything else.
Jeremiah let out a small laugh, relieved that you were taking his confession and embarrassment in good spirits. He looked down at your lips, thinking about the last time he tasted the vanilla cupcake lip gloss on them. Were you still wearing the same? It probably wore off by now, but Jeremiah was dying to know if you tasted the same. 
Taking a small breath of courage, he leaned in closer, closing the distance between you and gently pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was soft and tender, Jeremiah’s hand coming to cup your face gently while yours reached his shoulder to pull him down to your height. 
When you broke apart, you smiled against his lips, dying to kiss him again. ‘’Do you want to set your blanket next to mine?’’ you suggested, glints of hope in your eyes.
Jeremiah nodded. ‘’If that’s okay with you.’’
All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully  @aerangi  @hallecarey1  @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup
TSITP taglist: @msmarvelknight  @maritaleane @dingus0401 @idontknowwhatimdoing777 @nomorespahgetti @lomlolivia @5sosbands @bloodyhw @depthsofdespairr @a-band-aid-for-your-heart @gilbertscurls @brandirouse86 @leilani-nichole @Veescorneroftheworld @papayaboyluvr  @bchindureyes @bellysbeach  @slytherinambitious @darylscvmdumpster​ 
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fazedlight · 10 months ago
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Awakening (Kara character study, small part supercorp softness)
“But why can’t I be matched to Tali, mom? She’s my best friend!”
Alura turned to Kara, her jaw tensed with frustration with the stubborn child. “Kara, you know better than this. Stable matching can only be achieved if there is a true bijection between disjoint sets-”
“We don’t even have a true bijection because the population is constantly changing, we don’t sort according to all possible preferences, we don’t even have-” “It is not in our nature, Kara,” Alura said, with a dangerous tone in her voice. “We are not Daxamites.”
“But-” 
“The answer is no.”
---
Kara is thirteen Earth years the first time she’s called “dyke.” She doesn’t know what it means. She had only been to school for a couple of weeks. Before that, the only substantial English she had spoken was the couple months with Eliza, Jeremiah, Alex, and Kal. 
Clark, not Kal. Saying “Kal” would put her baby cousin- her older cousin- her cousin in danger.
Alex’s face flushes, and her eyes almost burn with anger, as she shoves Jake Howell against a locker. Kara could do it easily herself, but showing her newfound strength to humans would put her in danger too, somehow. Kara doesn’t think asshole is a nice word, given how Alex growled it. But she suspects dyke isn’t a nice word either.
That night after dinner, Eliza sighs, and hugs Kara gently - and Kara resolves to never get called dyke again.
---
“She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she smells nice. Hell, I want to date her.” Kara flushed with discomfort, as the words came unbidden from her lips. But Alex didn’t remark on the odd statement, and Kara shoved the thought away.
Just weeks later, awkwardness would turn to tension as Lucy growled. “You and Hank, why do you all lie?”
“When you are an alien,” Kara choked, “You’re willing to sacrifice anything, everything, betray your fundamental instincts - just to fit in.” Something tugged in Kara’s soul at that moment. That she had always tried to fit in, long before she became an alien. But there simply hadn’t been time to linger.
It was only weeks later, when Lucy was saying her goodbyes before leaving National City to rejoin the military, that Kara felt the uncomfortable spike again. “I do know what it’s like to hide,” Lucy confessed.
Kara tilted her head, questions like why? and what do you mean? floating through her mind. But she thought it would be kinder not to ask. “I hope someday, you can be all that you are.”
Lucy gave a small smile. “Me too.”
---
She hadn’t expected meeting Lena to feel like lightning in her veins. The younger Luthor was quick-witted, and beautiful, and playful. Kara felt herself flush with the gentle teasing during their first coffee, and found herself marveling at never quite having a friendship like this before. 
---
“So… so she’s gay?” Kara asked, the word heavy in her throat. “And are you saying, you’re gay too?”
Alex sighed and paced in front of Kara, her frustration just as apparent as her confusion. How can you not know if you’re gay?, Kara wondered, at the same time feeling strangely allergic to the conversation. Wouldn’t it be obvious? “What’s changed?” Kara asked.
---
Yeah, he was… immature. Irresponsible. But they connected - orphans of a lost planet, who spoke the same tongue, who had the same bewilderment in their first moments on an alien planet with newfound powers. And if being in his bed brought her pleasure, it was only proof of their connection, that a good relationship could come of it.
Sometimes there were those flashes - Mon-El had been confused by Alex’s coming out, not understanding the concept. The more the merrier would ring in Kara’s head, and she’d chase away the image of Lena’s face.
---
“I couldn’t have done it, Kara.”
Kara’s chest heaved as she gazed down at Lena, hearing Kal’s words flash through her mind. Lena clung to Kara’s arm as Kara hovered above the reservoir, and some corner of Kara’s mind knew that she should go land, that the danger was over. That Lena was safe. That the city was safe.
But she could only stare down at Lena, whose heart hammered in her chest, whose panting breaths from her climb had not yet slowed. I almost lost her, Kara thought, forlorn. I couldn’t lose her…
It was that moment that her world came crashing down, that realization made her feel like she was drowning. That romantic love wasn’t merely a combination of friendship and lust. That shared experience didn’t mean a shared connection. There was something that ran deeper.
She was in love with Lena, and she could no longer deny it.
---
It was a drunken movie night, after Lena’s breakup with James, when Kara heard I love you fall from Lena's lips.
“It was always you,” Lena confessed, her words slightly slurred from the alcohol as Kara finished pulling the covers over her. “I just wanted to be close to you.”
Kara stood back, feeling her heart pound as she watched Lena slip into slumber. I wish I had told you, Kara thought, her mind flashing to a moment long ago in a forest. I wish I had told you, before…
Kara spent a fitful night trying to sleep on her couch, and Lena’s eyes flashed with shame the next morning as she woke. But they left for Noonan’s, leaving the conversation behind.
---
It felt impossibly brief, that window of time after Kara had revealed her secret, where everything felt almost right with the world. Maybe someday, she and Lena could finish that conversation.
But she found herself in a kryptonite shell.
The universe ended soon after, and even magic couldn’t fix how they had broken. Until the day Kara finally found her hands in Lena’s, vowing together to take down her brother, and Kara felt again that hopeful wonder of what a future with Lena could hold.
And then she found herself in the Phantom Zone again, the words ringing in her head, I wish I had told you.
---
Sleep had eluded Kara in the weeks back from the Phantom Zone. So she was already wide awake at 2am, when she heard Lena’s heart begin to hammer. 
Kara tensed, rushing to her window and ears tuning in as she prepared to fight off an assassination attempt or catch Lena as she fell.
But as she shot into the sky, she nearly tumbled when she realized that Lena wasn’t in distress. The shaky breaths and small laughs caused Kara’s chest to tighten in anguish. She’s fine, Kara thought, feeling tears prick the edges of her vision. She’s fine. 
---
“Are you okay?” Lena said, when she finally found Kara in the Tower, sitting on a step. “Alex said she couldn’t find you - you were in the Fortress?”
Kara glanced up from the steps. “I just, um. I was reading in the Fortress, I fell asleep there.” It had the benefit of being true. The Fortress was far enough to drown the sound of Lena’s heart out.
Lena shuffled next to Kara, taking a seat. “I don’t remember seeing any beds there.”
“I float in my sleep,” Kara shrugged, staring at her hands as she let silence fall.
Lena shifted, uncomfortable with the quiet. “Are you okay?”
Yeah, Kara almost said, but something stopped her this time. Perhaps it was the poor sleep. Perhaps it was the litany of I wish I had told you that would replay in her mind.
How many more times am I going to do this?, Kara thought. How many more times am I going to carry that regret? “I love you,” Kara said finally, sensing Lena tense up next to her. “I know… I know that door is closed. But I love you. I should’ve told you so long ago.”
“You… you heard me last night,” Lena wondered softly. “So you went to the Fortress?”
Kara grimaced. “I stopped listening as soon as I realized,” Kara said, fighting a panic. Will she be angry? “I never meant to- to invade your privacy. I’ll be more careful.”
“The door isn’t closed,” Lena said. “If you don’t want it to be.”
Those words made Kara brave enough - or maybe just confused enough - to finally tilt her head up to meet Lena’s gaze. “But- last night-”
“I’ve been trying to get over you. Not very successfully,” Lena added, with a wry grin.
“Really?” Kara smiled.
“Really.” 
---
The matching laws had been long dismantled by the time a smiling Alura officiated their marital rites. Kryptonians didn’t have concepts like best man or matron of honor, but that didn’t stop the two women from inviting Alex and Kelly to stand at each of their sides as they said their vows.
Kara never imagined that it’d be a woman’s wrist she’d place her wedding bracelet on. Though she supposed she never imagined marrying on an asteroid of her father’s creation, or marrying for romantic love, or marrying someone her people would call Hero of Argo for the creation of a black rock.
She never imagined finally telling Lena her secret. She never imagined Lena’s forgiveness. She never imagined the feel of Lena’s lips pressed against her own, hands tugging at her robes, as she whispered zhao against Lena’s lips.
And she never imagined being the one to make Lena’s heart race.
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