#jeff atkins fanfic

[toppersjeep]

Jeff Atkins (When You’re Gone)

Summary: After Jeff dies you feel lost without him. You try to move on but it’s hard for you. So when they honor him for the team you decide to speak about him. You also sometimes see Jeff just like Clay sees Hannah. Who doesn’t love a ghost of there ex?

this song inspired this

Your POV

“Hey sis are you ready for today” Clay asked me. But I pretended to ignore him. I wasn’t ready. My boyfriend was dead. This year would’ve been our senior year together. Only because he was failing classes. But part of me thinks he wanted to stay back so I didn’t have to do it alone.

But now he was gone. Part of me still felt like he was here with me. I missed him more than anything in this world. I’d give anything to see his smile.

“Y/N we gotta get going” Clay said as I started at a photo of Jeff and I. A tear rolled down my cheek. “Yeah Clay” I said wiping a tear. “You don’t have to speak you know I can say you were sick” Clay said. “No no it’s okay” I said setting the picture back on my nightstand. “Alright then” Clay said.

I then looked at the necklace Jeff had given me with his initials and a little baseball bat. But now beside it was his class ring. I never took it off for anything. At least this way he was still here.

“I’m coming” I said grabbing Jeff’s letterman jacket and putting it on over my dress. Clay and I drove to the school. We parked and went inside the school. It was in the gym. I walked over to the principal were he wanted me.

Clay and our parents sat on the bleachers. Jeff’s parents sat beside them too. The principal of course said a couple words. I just sat there thinking about him. And the first time we met. Was actually when clay tutored him.

Flashback

“I brought my sister to help since she’s so good at science” Clay said as I sat down beside Jeff. “Wow there’s no way she’s your sister she’s wow” Jeff said I blushed. “And you are so” Jeff said I laughed.

“Very funny Jeff” Clay said. “So what’s your name beautiful” Jeff said I blushed. “Y/N” I said he smiled. “I love that name” he said. “Alright enough flirting” Clay said.

And after that he got my number and we talked for hours on end. He eventually asked me out on a date. Even though clay hated the idea. Eventually he warmed up to us dating.

He was my first kiss my first everything. But I never thought I’d meet someone like him. He’s perfect.

End of flashback

“And now Y/N Jensen has prepared something in honor of her late boyfriend Jeff” the principal said. I walked up. I then went up to the microphone. I just looked at everyone sitting on the bleachers.

“Jeff… I’m sorry give me a second” I said tearing up. I then pretended he was there in that room like I did sometimes. Maybe it was real and he was there protecting me. “Love it’s okay you can do this deep breaths” Jeff said standing beside me.

Even though he wasn’t there. Part of me felt his presence with me all the time. I took a deep breath and then began to speak again.

“Jeff was one of those people that you met once in a lifetime and we all had the privilege of knowing him” I said. “I had the privilege of knowing him a lot better than all of you” I said tearing up. “Maybe even more than his parents knew” I said.

“I also had the privilege of loving him and being loved by him” I said. “I remember the first time I met Jeff it was in the library” I said. “The first thing he told me was that I was beautiful” I said. “Nobody had ever made me feel as special as he did” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“From that day forward he became the most important person in my life” I said. “We talked every day and night even when I didn’t want to” I said people laughed. “He even tried to teach me how to play baseball but I sucked” I said. “Even though he always told me I didn’t” I said.

“You could’ve easily beat me babe with practice” Jeff said.

“He always told me I could beat him with practice but I know he let me win” I said. “Being loved by Jeff was one of the best feelings in this world” I said. “The way his eyes lit up when he looked at me is something I’ll never forget” I said.

“I remember the night he told me he loved me” I said tearing up. “A girl waits her whole life to hear those words” I said. “We were at the dance in this very gym” I said. “Of course I dragged him to this dance like I always did” I said smiling. “And he came even though he probably would’ve preferred a movie night” I said people smiled.

“We were dancing on this very floor when he told me he loved me” I said. “It was a slow dance and I had my head on his chest and I remember how I felt in that moment” I added.

“So safe and so secure he then kissed my forehead and told me he loved me” I said. “He said “Y/N I’m gonna say something crazy I don’t care if you don’t say it back” and I looked at him” I said. “I then said “Jeff nothing you can say is crazy” I remember looked up at him and he just smiled” I said.

“He then whispered in my ear “Y/N I love you I know that it hasn’t been long but I’m in love with you” I remember feeling butterflies in that moment” I said tearing up. “I thought for once in my life I had my moment” I said.

“I then looked up at him and told him I loved him” I said wiping a tear. “From that moment on I loved Jeff everyday more and more” I said. “He promised me so much more than anyone had before him” I said. “…Jeff was… and is my soulmate and I’d give anything to have him here beside me” I said as tears rolled down my face.

“The night.. Jeff.. passed… before the party we had a conversation about our future this year” I said. “I know it sounds crazy for two kids to be thinking about the future” I said. “But we were in love” I said. “Madly in love” Jeff said. I smiled.

“He told me that he wanted to marry me” I said. “That he knew I was the one for him and there wasn’t anyone else” I said crying. “I said ask me again next year” I said wiping a tear. “And he told me he would little did I know he had the ring there that night” I said.

“I wish I would’ve known and said yes that very night.. I think all the time maybe he’d still be here if I would’ve known” I said. “But.. I do know that he’s still here with us watching over everyone” I said. “Jeff was one of a kind and he’d be so happy that this team won states this year” I said.

“And Jeff if you are somehow hear listening or in heaven I want you to know the answer is yes and it will always be yes” I said tearing up. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about Jeff” I said.

I then stopped speaking and walked away. The principal went back up and spoke. I went outside and sat on a lunch table.

“I’m proud of you” Jeff said sitting beside me. “I wish you were here” I said. “I am here for you always right here” he said pointing at my necklace. “You know what I mean” I said looking at him. “I know baby” he said I looked at him.

“I can’t do this without you” I said. “Hey” he said side hugging me. “Remember what I always told you” Jeff said. “No matter what you’ll always protect me” I said. “That and you look beautiful no matter what” he said I laughed.

“I should’ve said yes that night I’m sorry” I said. “It’s not your fault Y/N don’t blame yourself okay” he said wiping my tears. “I need you” I said. “And I’ll always be here but..” Jeff said. “But what” I said. “You gotta move on eventually” he said looking at me. “I can’t” I said looking at the ring.

“Love.. you will always be my first love too you know that” Jeff said. “There’s nobody else like you” I said. “Really.. what about Scott Reed” Jeff said. “Jeff what about him” I said. “Remember the day you dropped your books and he helped you”Jeff said. “Yeah” I said.

“Or when he asked you for help with the team games” Jeff said. “Jeff I don’t understand” I said. “Or how he checks up on you after the trails or just texts you” Jeff said.

“What are you saying” I said looking at him. He then looked behind me. I heard some footsteps. “Hey I came to check on you” Scott said. Jeff looked at me. “H..Hey” I said Scott said beside me. “Are you okay” Scott asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay” I said. He put an arm around me. “It’s weird without him here but it feels like he’s pushing me towards you” Scott said. “Maybe he is here” I said looking over at him he smiled.

“It’s just like all these things keep happening and I feel like he’s putting us together” Scott said. I rested my head on his shoulder. “Your not like your baseball friends” I said. “Those guys may be my teammates but they are all assholes Jeff wasn’t” Scott said.

“Jeff used to say the same thing about you” I said. “Maybe it’s a sign” Scott said. “So why do you keep appearing every where” I said. “Because I care about you a lot” he said wiping my tears. Just like Jeff used to do for me.

“But why me” I said. “Because your special and Jeff would always tell me that” Scott said. “And I’m starting to see why he loved you so much” Scott said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah so if you are up for it I’d like too…

He began to say I kissed him.

“Prom” I asked. “I was gonna ask you the same thing” Scott said. “So yes” I said. “I’d love to” Scott said. “Told you I got you always” Jeff said to me I smiled. “What are you looking at” Scott said. “The beautiful sunset” I said.

“Hey maybe Jeff is here after all” Scott said. “He is..” I said tearing up. “I’ll always love you” Jeff said. “I love you” I mouthed and he was gone just like that. “So prom” Scott said.

“Oh right my dress is like light purple” I said he smiled.

[marleyelona]

Does anyone till like 13 Reasons Why? And if I posted my fanfic of the show on here would anyone read it?

[wtfisheonline02]

Would anyone be interested in a 13 reasons why fic iv currently got two ideas going round in my head.

1. 14 reasons why fem oc set in s2 where she knew Hannah in her old town and has come too testify. Oc × clay

2. Set in S1 and Fem oc is Jeff atkins girlfriend before his accident and she's on Hannah's tapes aswell. Oc feels the same way about Jeff's death that Clay feels about Hannah's and yk it's an Oc x Clay.

[cosmicflw3rr]

I know I say this everytime I watch a new show but I’ve been rewatching 13 reasons why AND I HAVE AN ITCH TO WRITE FOR IT. PLS PLS PLS REQUEST IM BEGGINGGGGG.

ill write for

clay jensen

justin foley

scott reed

zach dempsey

jeff atkins

pls I’m begging you to request

[altankatt]

Here is the chapter: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/altankatt/part-11-chapter-16

[jess-davis]

going on a school trip to the zoo with Jeff would include...

a/n: this was requested by an anon a while back so sorry for taking so long to do it i just haven’t had a lot of inspiration lately. requests are open btw

-you both have only been dating for a while

-so its your first time going out with him on a field trip for school

-you really don’t like spending time with Jeff at school that much

-not because you don’t want to be around him

-but because you don’t want to be around his friends

-so you talk to him when he’s not around the jocks

-but today Jeff has promised to spend his time with you and Clay

-Jeff and you totally being the ‘cute’ couple

-sneaking away from the class to have secret make out sessions

-loving animals so going to the zoo made you so happy

-him loving seeing you smile

-but making fun of you anyway to get a rise out of you

-because he loved to argue with you

-helping Jeff with the assignment you were doing on the trip

-but not giving him the answers because you want him to grow without you having to tell him everything

-Clay being part of your group because he helps he tutors Jeff

-but all of you genuinely being friends

-especially because you spend all your time with each other

-comparing him to the giraffes because he is so tall

-and him being like “i love you so much”

-you trying to stay on topic for the trip

-but you both are constantly distracted by each other

[jeffatk1ns]

Upcoming Jeff Atkins college au;

Everyone knows the move to college is one of the hugest of anyone's life, but it might not be so bad if a cute, baseball-playing counsellor with a breathtaking grin helps you assimilate.

(Please let me know your thoughts!)

[nctloveclub]

a miracle || jeff atkins

prompt: Can I get a 13 Reasons Why one-shot where the female reader is dating Jeff Atkins and she stays home instead of going to the party and Jeff goes on the beer run and gets in the accident and Clay finds him and calls the reader and he's alive but needs to go to the hospital? Clay leaves the hospital after a bit but the reader stays all night and when Jeff wakes up, he finds her asleep in the chair in his room? No smut, please.

warnings: car crash, almost death

a/n: i actually wrote something!!! im sorry i haven't been posting but i hope you enjoy this :-)

masterlist + request (read rules before requesting)

Clay didn’t know what to do, so he did the first thing that came to mind: call you. He didn’t know how this happened, and he called 911 the moment he saw the tragic scene. “Hello?” You answer the phone.

“Y/N! It’s me Clay.”

“I know, I have caller ID.”

“No time for jokes. Look something happened, there was car crash and Jeff is hurt. Oh my god, Y/N please just come.” Clay spoke quickly, almost too quick for you to function. But once you heard Jeff was hurt, you froze, you quickly asked where Clay was and you rushed to your car.

When you arrived at the scene, you saw the ambulance leave. “Clay what the hell happened?” You asked angrily. “What?! I don't know! I’m just as lost as you are.” You sigh, motioning Clay to get in your car. “Let’s just get to the hospital.” Clay nodded and he jumped into the front seat. You started the car and drove towards the direction that lead to the hospital.

You and Clay sat in the waiting room. Clay was an anxious mess but you could’t blame him, you were in the same state as him. “Clay, can you tell me what happened?” Clay sat down next to you and began to speak. “I went to the party with Jeff and everyone was drinking and partying. Then we ran out of beer and Jeff said he was gonna go on a beer run. Jeff wasn’t drinking he was sober. I left the party and walked and then I saw the crash. Then I called 911 and you.” When he finished speaking, Clay could see the hurt in your eyes.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself y/n.” Clay said, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have stayed home. I should’ve been with Jeff, this shouldn't have happened.” You rant. “But if you did go with him, there would be a chance that you could've gotten hurt too or even worse, died. Y/N, don’t be guilty for this. Jeff will be fine y/n.” You give Clay a smile before thanking him.

A doctor approached you and Clay, telling you good news. “Jeff is alive but he has some major injuries and will need to stay here.” You immediately feel relief and after 30 minutes of waiting, you and Clay made your way to the room that Jeff was in. You sat in the chair that was next to the bed, looking over Jeff’s features. His arms and face was nearly covered with small cuts, his leg was bandaged. You wanted to cry at the sight of him, god the mere thought of losing him made you cry.

You decided to stay at the hospital, you texted your parents ahead of time so they wouldn't worry. Clay stayed with you for 2 hours before leaving. You watched whatever was on tv and talked to an unconscious Jeff, pretending that he could actually hear you. “I remembered when I first met you, it was at a party actually. It’s funny, I hate going to parties, but my friends dragged me along.”

“I was making my way through the cramped crowd and i bumped into you, and you ended up spilling your drink on me.” You laughed softly at the thought. “But you apologized and helped clean me up and you asked how you could make it up. I told you over a date. I never knew that that encounter would lead to this, I’m happiest when I’m with you. I think I love you Atkins.” You finished, placing your hand on top of his. You carefully lift his hand to your lips, placing a gentle kiss on them. “I love you.”

Jeff eventually woke up, he looked over at a clock, which read 4 am. He rubbed his eyes, slightly sitting up. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. “What the hell?” He quietly murmured to himself. He quickly noticed your sleeping figure. You were sitting in the chair next to the bed, your head laid on the hospital bed. Jeff moved to wake you up, gently shaking you awake. “You’re awake.” You spoke, giving him smile. “What happened?” He asked.

“You got in a car crash. I was so scared that you weren’t gonna make it.” You said, feeling tears form. “It’s okay y/n. I’m here to stay, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Jeff spoke, carefully bringing you into a hug. “I love you Atkins.” You spoke into his chest, your voice muffled. Jeff was shocked to hear those words, you haven't been going out long, only a couple of months.

But the moment those words left your lips, Jeff felt a wave of relief. He couldn't be happier, he was hit with the realization that he was in love with you. And it was the best feeling in the world. “I love you too y/l/n. I love you too.”

this is excessively long and extra but also kinda shitty. but im proud :-)

[cassiefanfic]

Having a child with Jeff Atkins

Fandom: Thirteen Reasons Why

Character/Ship: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Warning: FLUFFITY FLUFF FLUFF

Writer: Cas

Words: 450

Summary: Jeff Atkins and Y/N have a baby while in high school

Author’s Note: I tried my best with this one.

-You find out with a pregnancy test after you kept puking between classes

-The shock quickly ended when you had to figure out how to tell Jeff

-You set up a Chinese dinner with a fortune cookie for him that says “I’m pregnant”

-Dinner feels like hours before he opens it.

-At first, he laughs, thinking that the fortune cookie wasn’t real

-”Baby look at this. It says “I’m pregnant”

-He looks up at you, seeing the nervousness in your face

-”Y/N what’s wrong- wait… are you…?”

-You slowly nod, causing him to sit back in shock as he re-reads the note.

-”M-My baby- You’re gonna be having my baby?”

-”Jeff…. I want to keep it… please.”

-Jeff throws himself from his seat and to you, hugging you close as he spins you around, before stopping and kissing you.

-”Oh baby I-I wow. This is a lot to take in. Are you okay?”

-You nodded softly before he held you closer.

-”What are we gonna do?”

-”We are gonna be a family. We will raise our kid.” He said with a soft smile, kissing your forehead.

-After finding out, Jeff was in a hover mode. He walked you to every class, gave you rides everywhere. He did everything to make sure you’d barely have to lift a finger.

-He went to all your appointments, crying when you got a look of your future child and heard their tiny heartbeat for the first time.

-His parents helped you guys out, getting you guys a house so you could live together.

-The biggest surprise came at 5 months.

-You found out about the gender of your baby, a little baby girl, a little princess.

-After the appointment, Jeff took you out to dinner to celebrate

-As dessert came, he told you to take your time with the mini chocolate cake.

-After 2 or 3 bites, your spoon hit something hard inside.

-After scooping it out, a nice diamond ring was inside in a small plastic bag with a ring inside.

-Before you could ask Jeff, he took it from your hand and got the ring out of the bag, and smiled up at me

-”Marry me. Please. I want us to be a whole family. Marry me Y/N.”

-That’s what made it the best day, the best surprise

-9 months rolled around and Jeff pulled Y/N from school to make sure she wouldn’t go into labor

-After the 24 hours of pure pain, you two finally had your little girl

-”What are we gonna name her Y/N?”

-”Julia Clare Atkins…..”

-It was perfect. All of it

-With your princess, and your prince

[pinkykitten]

13 reasons why masterlist

✰menu✰ cakes: one-shot macaroons: blurb/drabble or imagine with less than 1,000 cupcakes: headcanons baguette: preferences pies: chapter or series

✰ — cakes:

“i’ll never leave you” | zach dempsey x plus size! fem reader

“i’m happy when i’m with you” | cyrus x fem! reader

“i’m here for you” | clay jensen x fem! reader

“high” | scott reed x fem! reader

“accident” | zach dempsey x davina jensen (oc)

“my knight in shining armor” | clay jensen x fem! reader

“the name” | zach dempsey x adeline foster (oc)

“get away from her” | zach dempsey x fem! reader

✰ — macaroons:

“it has to get better” | clay jensen x fem! reader

“brother’s help” | jeff atkins x fem! reader

“who to choose?” | cyrus x fem! reader x tyler down (some platonic)

[sophiewritesworld]

JEFF ATKINS MASTERLIST

ONESHOTS:

Dating Jeff Atkins [ X ]

Headcanons

Babies makin' babies [ X ]

Reader gets pregnant and is scared of Jeff's reaction to it.

Set up [ X ]

Clay plays matchmakers on a peaceful studying session in the library with Jeff and you.

[toppersjeep]

Masterlist-(Updated)

My list of everyone that I’ve written and the series that I’ve been posting on here. I’ll try and keep this updated for all of you. If I don’t remind me :)

____

WWE MASTERLIST

All For Love Charles Leclerc Masterlist

__________

I used to love you-{Steve Harrington}(Masterlist)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Austin North (closed)

requests for austin are closed I will leave these ones up my apologies- A/N

Austin Proposes

Austin X Drew (Who’s Baby)

Topper Thornton(Another Love)

Topper Thornton (Just Come Home)

Austin(It’s You)

Joe Keery

Steve Harrington- It’s Always Been You

Steve Harrington-Upside

Andrew Garfield

Andrew(Mine)

Andrew(Baby P.1)

Andrew(Baby P.2)

Peter Parker (Another Spider-Man P.1)

Peter Parker (Another Spider-Man P.2)

Eduardo Saverin( Marks Sister)

Chicago Fire The One Jay Halstead X Matt Casey

Chapter 1-Welcome Home

Chapter 2-Get To Know Him

Chapter 3-Watch Your Back

Chapter 4-Problem House

Chapter 5-Walk Away

Chapter 6-Move On

Chapter 7-Who Knew

Chapter 8-I Want You

Chapter 9-You Love You More

Chapter 10-Think About Me

Chapter 11-Incomplete

Chapter 12-I Miss You

Chapter 13-I’m Sorry

Drew Starkey

Drew- Distance

Samuel Hunt

Greg Gerwitz-Don’t Leave Me

Greg Gerwitz-It’s Been A While

Greg Gerwitz-Jealously

Greg Gerwitz- Pretend

Chicago Fire( Check Yes Nova) Mouse X Blake Gallo

Chapter 1-She’s Sassy

Chapter 2-Trouble Ahead

Chapter 3- Who Is She

One Chicago

Blake Gallo

Marry Me? Or Him P1

That’s the way I love you

I Love You I’m Sorry

Jay Halstead

Sam Carver

This Is What It Feels Like

Random Imagines

Jeff Atkins- When You’re Gone

Max Verstappen/ Lando Norris- Cold Hearted Angel

George Russell- This Love

___

requests for f1 and one chicago are open. no longer doing anyone else above unless I have time!!

[giving-me-13-reasons-why]

Hey guys!💗

It’s been so long! But life has been kicking me in the ass. I am current laying in a hospital bed and have been for a week now, but now I am finally comfortable and have time to find content for you guys. I am always bored out of my mind so ask me questions and I will be so happy!

[euphoricaaaa]

petty argument

jeff atkins x reader

words: 360

"I can't believe Jeff missed my first cheerleading competition. He knew how much this meant to me." You said to Jess as you shoved your spare clothes in your gym bag.

"Well, you guys did have that fight big fight on Tuesday."

"Yeah, I know but it was so stupid and meaningless, I can't even remember what I was mad about." You walked out of the change room with your uniform, deciding you would change once you got home.

"It's fine, boo. He'll come around." Sheri said rubbing your back trying her best to comfort you.

"Maybe. Hey, can I get a ride with one of you guys? Jeff was supposed to take me home but you know.."

"Are you sure you wanna go with us?" Jess said grinning.

You turned around and there he was. Your boyfriend leaning on his car with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You walked towards him slowly with a small smile. "So you came after all."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I was being petty by not showing up today. I should have been there to support you. To be honest I don't even know what we were fighting about. It all seems so meaningless and stupid." He said with sincerity.

You let out a laugh. "That's what I said." Looking at him you could see that he truly meant what he said so you took the flowers out of his hand and brought his lips down to yours.

Jeff wrapped both of his arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground.

"Whoo!" You hear your friends cheer from behind you.

He lowered you back to the floor, but kept you close. He angles his head toward your neck, his breath tickling your neck as he speaks. "How about we get out of here and I really make it up to you?"

"Hmm, I'd like that." You say back. Getting in his car you turn to your friends who've been watching the whole time. "Bye, girls."

"Oooh, Y/N's getting laid tonight!" They yell in unison. You laugh as Jeff pulls out of the parking lot and speeds to your house.

masterlist

request box

[cosmicflw3rr]

visions of gideon.

jeff atkins x fem! reader

summary: you have to speak at your boyfriends memorial service, in the process bringing up a bunch of old memories making you break.

A/N: I’ve been finishing 13 reasons why and I couldn’t help but write for jeff, my obsession of the month, I also don’t mind writing for any other characters🫦

you stood in your room, staring into the mirror, expecting to see a familiar face staring back at you.

but the person reflected in the glass wasn't you. Instead, the eyes that met yours were empty, devoid of the spark that once defined you.

what you saw was merely a shell of the girl you used to be, a ghost of your former self. the vibrant, confident person you once knew had faded, leaving behind a stranger you could hardly recognize.

you were brought out of your trance by a voice. you closed your eyes, trying to ground yourself before looking at your door and seeing clay. he was one of the only friends your boyfriend had that you actually liked.

clay was always kind to jeff, always there to help him out when he needed it. "are you ready?" clay asked gently, his voice soft and understanding. you inhaled softly, taking one more look in the mirror, trying to muster the strength you needed.

the truth was, you weren't ready. you weren’t ready to face the truth. for fucks sake your boyfriend was dead, and the weight of that reality was crushing you. the memories of him flashed through your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of what you had lost.

the room felt colder, and the air seemed heavier as you struggled to find the words. the pain was still raw, and the thought of facing the world without him was almost unbearable.

your eyes fell on your dresser before looking back to clay. “yeah, give me a second,” you told him softly. he looked at you for a moment, but it wasn’t the look you were expecting.

you expected him to look at you like everyone else did—like you were fragile glass that could shatter with the wrong word, glance, or touch.

Instead, clay looked at you with understanding, It was a look that said he understood, not that he was pitying you, and he wouldn’t understand it, but it was all that you needed in that moment.

he nodded, a small but meaningful gesture, before quietly heading downstairs, leaving you in your room.

your eyes fell back on your dresser, more specifically the framed picture of you and jeff. you walked over to it picking it up, you gently ran your fingers over it. smiling softly as you examine it.

It was taken last christmas, it was dark and snowing, bright christmas lights scattered in with the trees behind the both of you. he was stood behind you his arm wrapped against your neck, your hand was on his forearm the both of you smiling widely.

as you stare at the photo, the world around you fades, and you find yourself transported back to that moment.

flashback.

the two of you walked slowly down the narrow path, your fingers intertwined as you both took in the display of lights that adorned the park.

as you reached the end of the path, you found yourselves standing before a grand tree, its branches adorned with a cascade of twinkling white lights. "that’s what I’d imagine the stars would look like in a perfect place," you murmured to jeff, your eyes filled with wonder as you gazed up at the shimmering lights. jeff, however, had his eyes fixed on you, captivated by your expression of awe.

"this is perfect enough for me," he said, you looked at him realizing he wasn’t looking at the lights but at you. with a soft laugh, you turn to meet his gaze.

"your’re so annoying," you chuckled, playfully nudging him as he shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I'm just speaking my truth," he replied with a shrug.

"yeah, whatever," you responded, rolling your eyes but unable to suppress a smile. you turned your attention back to the lights. "I'm talking about the lights, though."

unbeknownst to you, jeff had slipped away from your side. he was now crouched in the snow, gathering it into a compact ball. "I see them, baby. I was just saying," he called out, his voice filled with mischief.

you shook your head, still focused on the mesmerizing lights, when suddenly you felt a cold, wet impact on your arm. startled, you turned to see jeff grinning mischievously at you, a fresh snowball in hand. "jeff!" you exclaimed, your voice a mix of surprise and amusement.

"what?" he laughed, trying to play it off as innocent, as if you hadn’t just caught him red-handed in the act.

"oh, that’s how you want to play?" you challenged, darting to the other side of the path, quickly scooping up some snow and forming it into a snowball. with a swift motion, you hurled it at jeff, hitting him squarely on the shoulder.

"oh, you are so on, y/l/n," he declared, his eyes sparkling with the reflection of the lights. he swiftly retaliated, launching another snowball in your direction.

the snowball fight escalated quickly. you ducked behind a nearby bench, gathering more snow to create more snowballs.

jeff mirrored your actions, crouching behind a tree as he prepared his own snowballs.

they flew back and forth, some hitting each other while others missed, breaking apart.

you laughed as one of jeff's snowballs grazed your arm, sending a cold shiver down your spine. "I thought you play baseball atkins?” you called out teasingly. “you’re gonna have to do better than that!" you stood up to launch a perfectly aimed snowball that caught jeff right in the chest.

jeff responded with a flurry of snowballs, forcing you to dive behind a nearby bush for cover. you peeked out, spotting jeff as he tried to sneak closer.

quickly, you formed another snowball and lobbed it over the bush, hitting him on the chest again.

"I taught you well." jeff called out, grinning. he took a running start, gathering snow as he went, and launched a snowball that caught you off guard, hitting you on the back.

giggling, you gathered more snow and threw it back at him. "call a truce!" jeff yelled. you shook your head, running to take cover behind a tree. you peeked out from behind the tree, trying to see him, but you couldn’t.

you giggled softly as you turned back and screamed when you saw him standing right in front of you. jeff immediately put his hand over your mouth, giggling as he did.

"y/l/n, people are gonna think I’m murdering you back here," he laughed softly, making you laugh too. after a second, he removed his hand from your mouth, still chuckling. you both stood there, breathless from laughter and the cold, the snow continuing to fall gently around you.

"truce," you said, sticking out your pinky and looking up at him with a playful smile. he rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his grin as he linked his pinky with yours.

"truce," he repeated, his smile widening. you smiled and he extended his hand. “let’s head back.”

you nodded, and the two of you made your way back onto the path. jeff carefully helped you trudge through the thick, heavy snow, ensuring you wouldn't slip or fall. your hold on his forearm strong.

the snow crunched beneath your boots with each step, and you could feel the cold nipping at your cheeks.

you guys managed to make it back onto the path. "I think in order to seal our truce, we should take a picture," you suggested, looking up at him with a playful glint in your eyes. he looked down at you, a smirk spreading across his face as the idea amused him.

"I think that’s a good idea," jeff said, his smile softening as he reached into his pocket to pull out your phone. you both huddled together, the cold air making your cheeks a rosy pink.

your back pressed firmly against his chest, and he loosely wrapped his forearm around your neck, he leaned his head against yours.

you grabbed his arm with one hand for balance, leaning into him while you raised your phone to snap the picture.

as you both looked at the picture, you couldn't help but smile at it. "perfect now it’s sealed" he said, grinning as you saved the photo. jeff chuckled, his breath visible in the frosty air.

you laugh softly, the sound mingling in the crisp air. jeff glances at your phone time, then back at you with a soft smile. "let's hurry up and finish this so I can take you to get hot chocolate at monet's after," he says, before he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer for warmth as the two of you turn around to walk back up the path.

end of flashback.

a tear falls down your cheek, you quickly wipe it. remembering the feel of jeff's arms around you, the sound of his laughter—it all comes rushing back and for a brief, beautiful instant, it's as if he's right there with you again.

you take a deep breath, knowing that in just a few moments, you'll need to stand before everyone at his memorial service to honor his life and the love you shared. but for now, you just want to imagine that he is here next to you, that everything is okay, that everything is perfect.

after a moment, you sigh softly and place the photo back down on the dresser. you kiss the tips of your fingers before gently touching the picture one last time. then, you grab the paper filled with your heartfelt words, written meticulously from front to back.

leaving your room, you close the door gently behind you. as you walk down the stairs, you stop on the last step and see your parents and clay speaking in hushed voices. they don’t notice you right away, forcing you to clear your throat softly. the three of them turn to look at you, a bit startled. “hey, honey,” your mom says gently, moving over to you as you step onto the floor.

“you friend clay is going to ride with us over there,” she explains. you nod, clutching the paper tightly, afraid to let it go. clay glances down at the paper, understanding that it holds your speech, the words you’ve prepared to say goodbye.

she gives you a small smile, grabbing your hand gently. you smile back at her weakly.

the drive to the school was silent, the only sounds being the hum of the car engine and the occasional whoosh of passing vehicles. It was almost ironic that it was raining, the droplets on the window creating a mesmerizing pattern as they slid down.

your parents finally arrived at the school, and you all stepped out of the car, walking into the gym where the rest of the school had gathered.

the gym was filled with a somber atmosphere, the low murmur of conversations blending with the soft patter of rain outside.

your parents turned to you with gentle expressions. "we'll be sitting next to jeff's parents if you need us," your mom said softly, her voice filled with understanding and support. you looked at her, managing a tight-lipped smile.

you dad stepped forward, pulling you into a warm embrace and kissing you gently on the head. you mom followed, wrapping you in a comforting hug, holding you close as if to shield you from the pain for just a moment longer.

after a moment she pulls back smiling sadly before they walked away, leaving you and clay standing together, your emotions still swirling in your head. "I can’t do this, clay," you told him, inhaling sharply.

he turned to you, his eyes filled with worry and confusion. "what do you—"

you shook your head, feeling the urge to run out of the gym right then and there. "I mean I can’t go up there and talk in front of everyone."

clay's expression softened, and he placed a his hand on your shoulder. "hey, listen to me. I know it's hard,and I know what I’m about to say is corny, but it’s true.” he paused trying to find the right words. “jeff would want you to be strong. he believed in you, and he’d want you to believe in yourself too."

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "just take it one step at a time," he continued, his voice steady and comforting. "If you need to go outside for a moment, I'll go with you."

you nodded, you watched as principal bolan walked up to the stand. "we are gathered here today to remember and honor jeff, a bright young man who had a bright future ahead of him," he began, his words echoing through the silent gym. he called up jeff’s parents, your heart ached as you took them in.

as you watched them take their place behind the stand you looked at their faces which were etched with grief, your mind began to race. memories of jeff flooded your thoughts, but you couldn't seem to focus on any single one.

the room seemed to close in on you, and the weight of the moment made it hard to breathe.

your thoughts were a chaotic jumble, making it impossible to think straight.

suddenly, you felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. It was clay bringing you back to reality. you took a deep breath and tried to steady yourself. principal bolan's voice broke through your haze, "and now, jeff’s parents would like to invite his girlfriend, y/n to the stand."

you took a deep breath and slowly walked up to the stage, each step feeling heavier than the last. your heart pounded in your chest as you approached the microphone. as you reached the stand, you hesitated for a second, gathering your thoughts and trying to calm the whirlwind in my mind.

you then stepped up to the microphone, the cold metal sending a shiver through your fingers. you adjusted it slightly, the sound of your movements amplified through the speakers.

finally, you lifted your gaze and looked out at the sea of faces sitting on the bleachers. the room was filled with people, some faces you recognized, others you didn’t. the collective silence was almost overwhelming.

you cleared your throat, hoping to dislodge the lump that had formed there. the sound echoed slightly, breaking the heavy silence for a brief moment. you took another deep breath, unfolding the paper.

your trembling fingers ghost over the words you have written down, you looked to clay who nods.

taking another deep breath, you began, "I- I never thought I’d have to write this. call me naive, but I thought jeff and I would be together until we were old and had gray hair." you let out a humorless laugh at the unrealistic dream. "If a year ago, someone had told me I’d be standing here, giving this speech, I’d have never believed them. but here I am."

you inhale sharply, feeling the tears sting your eyes. "I remember the day I met jeff like it was yesterday. It was two years ago." you read the words off the paper, recounting the memory that was now so long ago. but you didn’t need to. you knew that day was etched into your memory forever.

"It was here, in this school," you continued, your voice trembling slightly. "I was walking to the library, I had books in my hand, i remember I was so stressed-“

flashback.

you hurried through the somewhat empty hallways, your mind racing with the sheer number of tasks you needed to complete before the end of the day.

the pressure was mounting, and it felt like you had about fifty things to do in such a short amount of time.

just as you were mentally organizing your to-do list, someone collided with you forcefully, sending your belongings scattering to the ground and causing you to stumble back a step.

you frustration peaked as you looked up and recognized the culprit—montgomery de la cruz. “what the fuck, monty?!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with exasperation. he continued walking past you, his arms raised in a gesture of surrender.

“sorry, y/n,” he called back, not even breaking his stride. you rolled your eyes, annoyance bubbling up inside you as you bent down to gather the scattered papers that had fallen from your grasp and were now strewn all over the floor.

you let out a huff of frustration, “you’re a dick!” you exclaimed, your voice echoing in the hallway. just then, you heard another voice chiming in.

“come on monty.” the voice said, you looked up and saw a baseball player standing there. you couldn’t recall his name, but you definitely recognized him—he was one of the jocks, one of liberty highs golden boys.

you glanced back at monty, who was laughing cockily as he made his way outside to the fields.

shaking your head, you returned to picking up your scattered papers. just as you were about to reach for one that had landed a bit farther away, someone else picked it up for you.

you looked up to see the guy who’d said something, he was one of monty’s friends. “oh, thank you,” you said, standing up and trying to organize your papers as he handed you the ones he had picked up.

“sorry he’s such an ass,” he said laughing, a hint of apology in his voice.

you rolled your eyes and let out a dry laugh. “there’s no need to apologize for him. believe it or not I’m used to monty,” you replied with a sigh, making the guy chuckle.

dot a moment, the two of you stood there in silence, just looking at each other. then he broke the silence. “my name’s jeff.”

“y/n,” you said, and he smiled warmly.

end of flashback.

“a few days after that, we started talking, and before I knew it, we were inseparable.” you choked on your words, your voice trembling with emotion. “I thought we were inseparable.” you paused, inhaling softly, trying to steady yourself.

“every moment jeff and I spent together was perfect. he was the perfect boyfriend—thoughtful, caring, and always there when I needed him.” you paused again, a tear slipping from your eye, tracing a path down your cheek. “he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I thought he was my forever, but I had seemed to forget that nothing is forever.”

you paused once more, your eyes welling up with tears, your vision blurring. your voice broke as you continued, the pain evident in every word. “the night I found out jeff died was like having the ground ripped out from under me. It felt as if my entire world had shattered in an instant.”

flashback.

the music was blaring, reverberating through every corner of jessica’s house, which was packed with people. the air was thick with the mingling scents of various perfumes and colognes, mixed with the unmistakable aroma of beer, snacks and sweat.

as you weaved your way through the crowd to the living room where you had left jeff to go to the bathroom. you stopped seeing he was no longer there and that a group of people had begun to play such and blow in yours and his spot on the couch. you began to scan the room for familiar faces, until you finally spotted sheri in the kitchen.

you made your way over to her pushing past people, “hey sheri,” you called out as you finally made it to her, raising your voice to be heard over the deafening music. she looked up from her red solo cup, a bright smile spreading across her face as she recognized you.

“hey y/n!” she responded.

“what a party, hmm?” you remarked looking around at the lively scene around you.

“yeah, it’s wild!” she replied, taking another sip from her cup. you watched as she seemed to focus on something else.

you looked around trying to find jeff so you could let sheri enjoy her night. “have you seen jeff?” you asked, glancing around the crowded room once more.

she pointed towards the front yard. “he’s out there talking to clay.”

with a grateful nod, you navigated your way through the crowd of people, finally stepping outside into the cooler night air.

there, amongst the scattered groups of people, you spotted jeff and clay.

a smile spread across your face as you made your way towards them. “clay, is jeff bothering you?” you called out teasingly, causing both boys to turn and look at you, jeff looking at you with an amused expression.

“hey baby,” jeff greeted you, his face lighting up with a wide grin. “I was just trying to convince clay here to stay a while longer.”

“I’m going home,” clay responded, his expression tinged with frustration. he made a move to leave, but jeff quickly intervened.

“just hang with me and y/n for a while, man.” clay’s gaze shifted from jeff to you, and you offered him a gentle, reassuring smile.

clay was one of the few friends of jeff’s that you genuinely liked, the only one who seemed to truly care about him. “I’m going on a beer run soon, come with me.”

your eyebrows furrowed in concern as you looked at jeff. “are you driving?” you asked, the worry evident in your voice.

jeff turned to face both you and clay, holding up his solo cup. “It’s coca cola, my friend and beautiful girlfriend,” he assured you. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes playfully at his response.

to be absolutely certain, you took the cup from jeff’s hand and tasted it, confirming without a doubt that it was indeed coca cola. jeff rolled his eyes playfully at your cautiousness, leaning in to plant a light, affectionate kiss on your cheek as you handed his cup back. “It’s coke,” you told clay, feeling a bit more at ease now.

jeff, sensing your lingering concern, added, “I had two beers, two hours ago. I’m good.”

you nodded, feeling a bit more reassured by his explanation. you and jeff had been to your fair share of parties together over the past two years, and he always made sure he was sober when he drove. you trusted him.

“no. no,” clay said, shaking his head. you could tell something was up with him, but it wasn’t your place to pry. “thanks, jeff. I'm gonna take a long walk home and consider the wreckage that is my life.”

you eyes softened with empathy, and jeff shook his head. “you're a funny dude, clay.”

“so I've been told,” clay said with a hint of resignation in his voice. “see you both monday?” he asked.

“yeah,” jeff replied, taking a step back as he watched clay begin to walk away.

“take care of yourself clay,” you added, he looked back at you and nodding with a tight-lipped smile.

you heard the guys shout clay’s name as he started to walk away. “see you guys,” he told them before continuing.

you and jeff shared a concerned look, both of you clearly worried about him. “he didn’t look too good,” you said, watching clay as he walked off into the distance.

“no, he didn’t,” jeff agreed, also watching as clay left. you turned to jeff, wrapping your arms around his neck, and his hands instinctively found your waist, holding you close.

“you’re a good friend,” you told him, examining his face as he finally tore his eyes off clay to look at you with a soft, contemplative expression.

“I try,” he responded modestly, causing you to tilt your head slightly at his humble words.

“he’s lucky to have you,” you said with sincerity, and he smiled softly before leaning in to kiss you.

the kiss was soft, slow, and sweet. It lasted just a moment before he pulled away. “well, I’ve gotta go on this beer run. wanna come?” he asked.

you pulled away from him, grabbing your phone to check the time, wincing as you read it. “I would, but I can’t. I’ve got a curfew,” you replied regretfully.

jeff groaned playfully, but you knew he understood. you laughed, rolling your eyes. “I know, I know. I would stay longer, but I’m already in trouble for pushing it last weekend.”

he admired your face, gently moving a loose strand of hair out of your eyes. “nah, baby, I get it,” he said with a reassuring smile.

you smiled, giving him another kiss, savoring the moment before he grabbed your hand and led you towards his car. “shit, sheri’s blocking me in. I’ll be back in a sec,” he said, letting go of your hand and disappearing into the house to find her.

you pulled out your phone, quickly texting your parents to let them know you’d be home in about ten minutes. just as you hit send, you felt a hand gently rest on your waist.

you turned around and smiled at jeff. “well, sheri has to get her keys, so in the meantime, I’ll walk you to your car,” he said with a charming grin.

“such a gentleman,” you teased, laughing softly. your laughter was contagious, and jeff chuckled too as the two of you began the short walk to your car parked on the other side of the street.

“I try,” he joked, making you smile as you unlocked your car. jeff opened the door for you, ensuring you were safely inside before closing it gently.

you put on your seatbelt and turned to look at him. he had his arms resting on the base of your window, his head comfortably perched atop them.

you smiled at him, feeling a warm sense of contentment. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked, your voice hopeful.

he smiled lopsidedly, his eyes twinkling. “of course,” he replied, the promise hanging in the air as you started your car.

you looked into his eyes, feeling a strange but compelling feeling. “okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you told him gently, trying to make out the unfamiliar way he was gazing at you. It was different, more profound than ever before.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he echoed, leaning his head into your car and pressing his lips to yours. the kiss lingered, neither of you wanting to pull away, savoring every second of the connection.

when he finally did pull back, jeff kept his eyes closed for a moment, a serene smile playing on his lips. when he opened his eyes, they sparkled with a warmth that made your knees feel weak. “I love you, y/l/n,” he said softly, the words filled with sincerity.

“I love you too, jeff,” you replied just as softly, your heart swelling with emotion. he tapped gently on the base of your window, a tender gesture.

“alright, drive safe, baby. sweet dreams,” he said, his voice filled with affection.

“sweet dreams,” you repeated, watching as he winked at you before walking off into the night.

you laughed softly to yourself, before finally driving off.

——

It was the morning after the party, and you slowly stirred awake, turning around in your bed to look out the window. the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow in the room.

you weren't quite ready to get up yet, so you lay there for a few moments, savoring the peace and quiet.

with a sigh, you rubbed your eyes and slowly sat up, feeling the weight of sleep still lingering. your gaze drifted to your nightstand where your phone lay.

you reached for it, expecting to see a text from jeff. however, the screen remained blank—no message, no response to the texts you had sent last night. a knot of worry began to form in your stomach.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you typed out a quick message.

good morning

did you get in safe last night?

pls text me when you get this.

I love you

after hitting send, you sighed again and headed to the bathroom, hoping for a reply soon.

as you brushed your teeth, the silence felt heavy. you tried to shake off the unease that settled in your stomach, telling yourself that he was probably just sleeping in.

after all, jessica's party had likely run late into the night. you rinsed your mouth and stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to convince yourself that everything was fine.

you got ready for the day, putting on your clothes and fixing your hair. every few minutes, your eyes darted to your phone, hoping to see a notification that would bring some reassurance.

the anticipation was killing you, making the simple act of getting dressed feel like an eternity.

heading downstairs, you were met with an unexpected and unsettling sight. your parents were sitting at the kitchen table, hand in hand, tissues scattered around them.

your mom's eyes were red and swollen from crying, and your dad looked completely drained, his face devoid of any emotion. the scene was so out of the ordinary that it stopped you in your tracks.

confusion and concern washed over you as you approached them cautiously. "mom? dad? what's wrong?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly with a mix of fear and curiosity. "did something happen?"

"sit down, sweetheart," your mom said, her voice shaky and barely above a whisper.

you did as she asked, your heart beginning to pound in your chest like a drum. "what's wrong? what happened?" you asked again, the restlessness and anxiety building up inside you.

the silence that followed was deafening, and you could feel the tension in the room thickening with each passing second.

as your leg began to bounce up and down, a palpable sense of anxiety filled the room. your dad took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a look of profound sadness. “y/n, jeff he—”

your heart stopped, and you sat up straighter, tension gripping you. “he what, dad?” you said, the words coming out harsher than you intended.

“jeff was in a car accident last night.”

you froze, a whirlwind of confusion and hurt sweeping over you. “i-is he okay? what hospital is he in? we have to go see him!” you exclaimed, desperation lacing your voice.

a tear rolled down your mom’s cheek as she struggled to maintain her composure. “honey…” she began, but her voice broke, unable to continue.

you looked at her, hoping she wasn’t about to confirm your worst fears. “mom, what’s wrong?” you pleaded, your voice rising with panic. “you’re scaring me. Is he okay?!”

your mom grabbed your hand, her grip trembling. “sweetie, he—” she began, but her voice faltered. your dad’s voice was barely a whisper as he said, “he didn’t make it. he died in the accident.”

the words hit you like a ton of bricks, and you felt as if the air had been knocked from your lungs. In that moment, it was as if you had left your body; your physical form was present, but you were watching yourself from outside of it.

“you’re lying,” you said, laughing humorlessly. “like—it’s some fucked up prank, right?”

your mom’s eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled softly, trying to steady herself. You looked at them, taking in their reactions—the sorrow etched on your dad’s face and the tears streaming down your mom’s cheeks. “no, no,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

“please, this can’t be true,” you continued, your voice rising in desperation. “there must be some mistake. jeff can’t be gone. I saw him just last night, he was just-“ you inhale sharply. “this isn’t real. It can’t be real.”

your dad placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, his grip firm yet tender. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wish it were different, but it’s true,” he said, his voice breaking.

suddenly, you felt a tightness in your chest, your breathing becoming rapid and shallow.

panic surged through you, and you felt as if the walls were closing in. “I can’t breathe,” you gasped, clutching at your chest, you looked at your mom panicked. “mom i- i can’t breathe.”

your mom immediately moved to your side, grabbing your forearm. “y/n, try to breathe with me,” she said, her voice calm but urgent. “Inhale slowly through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. just focus on my voice.”

your dad knelt beside you, his eyes filled with concern. “we’re right here with you. you’re safe. just keep breathing,” he encouraged, his hand gently rubbing your back.

you tried to follow their instructions, focusing on the rhythm of your mom’s breathing. slowly, the panic began to subside, and your breathing started to even out.

you leaned into your mom’s embrace, feeling the warmth and comfort of her presence.

as the tightness in your chest eased, a new wave of emotion crashed over you. the reality of jeff’s death hit you with full force. you started sobbing uncontrollably, your body shaking with each breathless cry. your mom held you tighter, her own tears mingling with yours.

“we’re going to get through this together. you’re going to get through this,” your mom whispered. “we’ll find a way to keep going, for jeff.”

as you clung to your mom, the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in. jeff was gone.

and your life would never be the same.

end of flashback.

tears stream down your face, and you struggle to continue. the grief is overwhelming, and you can barely speak. "that was the last time I saw him. the last time I felt his touch, the last time I heard his voice.” your voice breaks and your hands tremble, the weight of your words pressing down on you.

“and I know everyone is mad at him. they think he was stupid, that he did this to himself. but I can’t—” you shake your head, your eyes filled with tears that refuse to stop flowing. “I can’t let everyone think that—in the time that I was able to know jeff, he never once drove under the influence, no matter the situation. he was always responsible, always careful. and if you knew him, you’d know that—"

you let out a soft sob, your heart aching with the weight of loss.

your voice breaks again as you try to continue, and sobs overcome you, shaking your entire body as you try desperately to stop them.

but you can’t stop them; they just keep coming, wave after relentless wave. you cover your mouth, looking up at clay, who is sitting in the front row.

your gaze falls on clay, your eyes silently plead for help. he meets your gaze, and in that moment, he understands completely. with a nod, he slowly stands up and walks to the stand, gently taking the paper from your trembling hands.

you let out a soft sob, your heart aching with the loss that feels too great to bear. clay’s voice is steady, but you can see the pain in his eyes as he continues. "jeff was a light in all of our lives. his kindness, his humor, his support – these are just few of the many things that jeff was that i will try to carry with me."

clay's voice falters for a moment, but he presses on. "It was an honor to be loved by him, and an even bigger honor that he allowed me to love him. jeff showed me what true love is – a love that is patient, kind, and selfless. he made me a better person, and for that, I will be forever grateful."

you eyes silently plead for help. he meets your gaze, and in that moment, he understands completely. with a nod, he slowly stands up and walks to the stand, gently taking the paper from your trembling hands.

a tear falls down, making its path down clay's face as he continues, his voice trembling. "jeff's love was a gift and one that I will cherish for the rest of my life. and to him, the love of my life, I will never forget you. and I’ll be forever awaiting the day till we meet again."

as clay finishes, his eyes meet yours, and you clasp your hands together, placing them over your mouth as you look at him through a veil of tears.

the room seems to blur around you, the only clear thing being the connection between you and clay, a shared understanding of the loss you both feel.

clay opens his arms, a gesture filled with compassion and solace, and you find yourself gradually moving towards him. each step feels heavy, as if the weight of your grief is trying to hold you back, but the need for comfort propels you forward.

distance between you closes slowly, your heart pounding in your chest, and when you finally reach him, you collapse into his embrace.

and after a moment, he gently guides you outside, both of you desperately needing a breath of fresh air. the warm air hits your face as you walk together in silence. “you know, you helped jeff a lot.” you started inhaling, “he had lots of friends sure but the only one who truly had his best interest at heart.. was you.”

“im sure jeff didn’t consider me a friend.” clay deflected looking at the ground as you walked.

you touched his shoulder gently as you stopped making him stop as well. “clay. jeff considered you his closest friend.” you told him. clay looked at you his gaze unrecognizable but then you saw the tears slowly build as he nodded and looked at the ground.

you look around almost finding it ironic how you guys ended up at the baseball field, where you had been countless times before with jeff. your eyes fell on the dugout. “give me one second I need to do something.” you told clay, he said a quick okay before you jogged lightly over to it.

as you approach the entrance of the dugout, your eyes are frantically searching.

flashback.

jeff had his hands covering your eyes, leadimg you forward gently.

it was your 3 month anniversary, you had told him nothing big needed to happen but jeff insisted to at least take you out. "where are we going?" you asked, it had felt you two had been walking forever.

“no you will.” he assured giggling softly.

"I doubt it," you said jokingly. after a few more steps, he finally uncovered your eyes. you blinked, adjusting to the dim light, and found yourself staring at the baseball field, the grass slightly damp and the air filled with a faint earthy scent.

"wait, why are we here?" you asked now curious, despite the initial confusion.

jeff just grinned, his eyes sparkling. he gently pulled you towards the fence. "you'll see," he whispered, his voice filled with excitement.

he helped you the fence first, his hands firm and reassuring, then climbed over himself with ease.

he led you straight to the dugout, your footsteps barely making a sound on the soft grass. the field was eerily quiet, the only sound being the distant hum of crickets.

once you reached the dugout, you looked around, puzzled. "what are we doing, jeff?" you laughed, the confusion evident in your voice. jeff pulled out a small pocket knife, the metal glinting faintly in the dim light. "I know you said you didn’t want to do much, but I just wanted to leave something behind," he said, his eyes mischievous and full of intent.

carefully, you watched as he began to carve your initials into the wooden post, the sound of the blade scraping the wood the only thing heard between you two. “I know you said you didn’t want to do anything crazy. but I still wanted to do something that would be here forever.”

“jeff, you’re crazy," you said softly, your voice tinged with both amusement and disbelief.

you glanced around the quiet field, your eyes scanning the shadows and hoping that nobody was around, and that the two of you wouldn’t get in trouble.

when he finally finished carving, you both took a step back to admire his handiwork:

j + y/i

etched into the wooden post with careful precision. a seemingly perfect heart drawn around it.

jeff turned to you with a satisfied grin stretching across his face. "there, now we’ve left our mark," he said, his voice brimming with a hint of mischief.

you smiled back at him, feeling a whirlwind of emotions—"I guess we have," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might ruin the moment.

as you both started walking back, jeff playfully nudged your shoulder. "bet you can't catch me!" he shouted, taking off in a light sprint.

laughing, you begun to chase after him, "oh, you're on!" you called out, picking up speed. The cool air filled with your laughter, and the thrill of the chase made your heart race.

jeff slowed down just enough for you to catch up, and as you reached him, you playfully tackled him to the ground. both of you tumbled into the grass, breathless and giggling. "I got you." you declared softly.

he grinned, lying on his back and looking up at the stars. "okay, okay, you win this time y/l/n," he admitted, still laughing. you both lay there for a moment, catching your breath and enjoying the peacefulness.

you smile catching your breath beside him, feeling the cool grass beneath you.

he turned his head to look at you, his eyes soft and full of something you couldn't quite place. "what?" you asked, suddenly self-conscious. "Is there something on my face?"

Instead of answering, jeff leaned in closer, his gaze never leaving yours. before you could react, his lips met yours in a sweet, gentle kiss. the world seemed to stand still for a moment, the only sound being the soft rustle of leaves around you.

as the kiss ended, you both lingered close, your foreheads almost touching. jeff's eyes searched yours, a tender smile playing on his lips. the moonlight cast a soft glow, making the moment feel almost magical.

you reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair from his face, your fingers grazing his cheek. "I didn't expect that," you whispered, still feeling the warmth of his kiss.

jeff chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I didn't either, but it felt right," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.

for a while, you both just lay there, admiring each other. the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this perfect moment.

eventually, you helped each other up and continued your walk, occasionally bumping into each other and joking around.

end of flashback.

the sight of those initials brings a fresh wave of tears to your eyes, and you start crying again, the sobs coming from deep within you.

yet, there's something about seeing the carved letters that brings a you a sense of solace.

no matter how much time had passed, no matter how you felt, there'd always be a reminder that what you and jeff shared was real. jeff was real. your love was real.

you run your fingers over the carving, feeling the rough edges of the letters. just then, clay comes over, it’s quiet between the both of you for a moment.

you sniffle wiping your tears, as you inhaled shakily, you look at him and can tell the concern in his eyes. "are you okay?" he asks softly.

you look at the initials one last time and then back at him. "I will be," you reply, your voice trembling slightly.

clay gives you a tight-lipped smile, understanding in his eyes. without another word, he takes your hand, and the two of you walk back together.

as you walk, you start thinking about how you'll learn to be okay. the pain is still there, and you know it’ll be there for a good while but you know that with time, you'll find a way to live with it.

you'll learn to carry the memories and the love you shared with jeff, finding strength in the fact that those moments will never be forgotten.

[fangirlings-things]

“Can I talk to you?” he approached you in the garden and sat by your side on the grass, where you were alone. The sounds of the party still behind you as the night went on.

“I don’t know if I can face you right now, Jeff” you said with a sight, your arms resting over your knees as you kept your eyes in the street. From minute to minute, at least a car would pass by and then leave it had never been there at all. “I even went to buy drinks so that I did not have to talk to you so can you just give me some space?”

“Look, I just… I am sorry” when those words left his mouth, you finally turned to him with an angry expression on your features. He had said some pretty bad stuff while you two were fighting earlier and now, while he apologized, you found it hard to forget them. “I didn’t mean any of that, I was pissed”

“The fact that you didn’t mean them doesn’t change the fact that I heard them and they hurt me, Atkins” he averted his eyes from yours at that, ashamed of himself. “But” you continued and that made him frown. “I also said things I regret and I to, am sorry”

"It’s alright, love” he passed his arms around your body and brought you closer to him. “I love you”

“I love you too” you sighted happily against him. “But no more bullshit”

He chuckled and kissed your hair. “No more, I promise”  

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

Requested by anonymous

A/N: I hope you like it anon, this one was very sweet to write, Jeff deserved better!!!

gif credit: @vsnom