#jeez.... learn a little fandom history.....

[alelathedragon]

Word Girl AU: I almost killed her

I have been watching episodes of Word Girl thanks to a friend streaming it and me casually getting pulled into the fandom.. I recently learned of Word Girl's new weakness in the later seasons called: "lexonite"

Yes it's a Kryptonite clone, but it makes Word Girl not able to use her word smarts/super strength/flight. It does NOT endanger her life… And I thought What if it did?

Prospective- Theodore McCallister The Third (Tobey)

Part 1!!!

Narrator: It was a beautiful morning in the city as the sky turned a crimson re-- WAIT WHAT!?! OH NO!! The sky is turning crimson red as a meteorite was falling straight towards Earth! If only Word Girl could go and stop this meteorite, but Becky Botsford AKA Word Girl, has been occupied by A surprise math quiz!! Whatever will happen to- oh… It was tiny… Well… That's embarrassing!!

And well.. since Word Girl is preoccupied I suppose I should define Embarrassing for you!! AHEM!!

Embarrassing! causing a feeling of self-conscious confusion and distress. Makes you feel really silly when you get something wrong

For example it was Embarrassing how I thought the meteorite was going to do the planet harm! Ah ha…ha..ha oh… I'm not as good as this as Word Girl. I am just supposed to Narrate after all!! And oh look at this! It's the Tobester on his way to investigate the meteorite with his robots "

" STOP!! CEASE!! StOp calling me different nicknames than Tobey!! " The boy stopped to clear his throat and spiffy up his tie

" I have made it Cl-EAR that the only nickname I desire is: Tobey so you can respect it… Or SHUT IT!! "

Narrator: okay okay jeez Tobey, learn to have a little fun won't you? "

" Nonsense… I will not have anyone ruin this moment as I - Theodore McCallister The Third obtain this meteorite and study it for…. L E X O N I T E!! "

The Narrator presses the button to cue the evil music as lightning strikes in the background to enhance the mood of Tobey's plan

Narrator: uhm… You do know what Lexonite does…right? Tobey?? "

" OF COURSE I do you boob, and that's why I only plan to use… Just a itsy bit~ When Word Girl isn't able to fight my giant robits she'll have to spend the whole day.. no no.. 5 days.. no no no…. THE WHOLE WEEKEND WITH ME!!! UWAHAHAHAHA ITLL BE SO ROMAN- UH I UH … I mean… It'll be uh.. she'll finally learn what a minor Grounding feels like AHEM…."

Narrator: mmmm…."

" OH HUSH YOU- It's… Fool Proof " Later that evening back at Tobey's totally radical evil lair

" NOT NOW MOOOM I'M PLANNI- I MEAN- I'M STUDYING FOR…. UH… FOR.. HISTORY CLASS AGAIN!! "

He yelled downstairs before turning back to his work… His mother knew better than to not check on him after those words were exchanged, however the boy genius was able to make himself a secret room for building his robots in peace while a duplicate took his place to temporarily fool his mother.. every so often he would have to go out there and sit in his rocking chair as mother was getting slightly better at being able to tell when his duplicate was quietly nodding just a bit to much … But for now he was safe

" Darn it all..! I didn't want to admit it to that pesky Narrator but I haven't the slightest clue how much of this rock to use on Word Girl! " He complained out loud before quietly continuing to tinker on his machines

' I don't want her to be powerless, just incapable enough so that my robits are a threat and she has to hang out with me! Her way with words~' He could feel his cheeks getting warmer at the thought of her intellect. She always outclassed him and he was NOT about to use enough of this rock to make her stumble so much like the last villian did

Uughk!! Repulsive…. Though due to all of his available information on this meteorite being visual observations it would take him a good while to get this perfect… By the end of the day his plan still wasn't finished!! Normal.. but irritating!! The weekend was going to be 2 days away by tomorrow and he had to partake in school, UGH!!! He yawned real wide as he pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes… Oh… Fine… He'll find some time to get it on it's way tomorrow… And the next day… This weekend was going to be perfect

Time skip to the following Friday when school has just let out and the kids are heading home, Tobey is approached by a concerned Becky Botsford

" Hey… Tobey! "

The boy genius slowed to a stop, turning to look at his classmate whom jogged up to him as he yawned once again. Oof- he was more tired then he thought .. what does B-ecky Bots-ford want???

" ah… B-ecky~ to what do I owe the displeasure…."

Becky: heyyyy!!! ,,, hey look, I know we don't always get along but I don't know…. "

She reached up to rub the back of her head as Tobey looked at her with a scowl of disaproveal and a raised eyebrow " yessss? Well get on with it won't you? I have something very important waiting for me at home "

Becky: let me guess… Giant robots? "

" whh- I uh… NOOO- I would ne-ev-ver hahaha! Do…."

She was now scowling back at him and he sighed " alright fine, yes yes I'm working on giant robits ahahah! How else am I going to win the heart of Word Gi- I mean. Crush this city hmm?? "

Becky shook her head with a defeated sigh before she opened her arms some as she spoke: Tobey, I don't know what you're up to but even for your craziest plans I've never seen you like this in school… I mean don't get me wrong *snort * I'll take beating you in English any day (she usually has to flunk on purpose to try and keep her secret) … But… It was… Y'know "

" unexpected ??"

Becky nodded: yeah Unexpected, a turn of events that one wouldn't see coming…. Usually you're on your game in English… I dunno… I guess I was a TINY…. bit worried??? "

" H A H !!! Oh poor BECKY Bots-ford… You only underestimate my ingenious plan!!! I may be out of it now… But come tomorrow and I'll have Word Girl at her knees!! Mu huh! Mu huh huhuhuhuhahahah!!! "

He turned to start walking away, leaving behind Becky who rolled her eyes and also began heading home… On the way back he stopped at the grocery store to pick up some misalanious idems his mother gave him pocket money for and then stopped at the handy ware shop to use the rest of the money on robot building equipment~ Mom was always suspicous of him not bringing home everything she asked… But a simple excuse of having to much homework and he was sent upstairs to get it done… Well it usually worked anyway…. And today was another success! He scurried up to his room, set up the decoy and shuffled into the hidden corridoor that took him to the hidden workshop. Not a minute to waste! That… That… Ninconpoop Becky… GOAHHH!! he felt like an idiot for even thinking that word up but he couldn't find a better synonym!! Stupid STUPID! He'll show her why it was worth it though! He'll show everyone why it was worth it, when Word Girl finally gives him the time of day instead of… Ignoreing him or- beating up his robits to quickly and sending him to a groudning or juvienal detention…. Maybe he'll finally find the words… To talk to her

The next day in Fair City, Tobey accidentally slept in some from his previous night of seemingly endless tinkering to make his creation perfect~ An army of robots and … The secret weapon He woke up eventually to scurry outside in his fucking Pajamas without a second thought about it as he was too excited … Only to get outside to hear his mother calling him asking why he was in his PJs… embarrassing He got all flustered and went back to change, that's certainly no attire to win over Word Girl with!!

THEN… He got carried off by a robot toward the unexpecting city and Word Girl…

" HAHAHAHAHAH YES!! ROBITS DESTROY WE MUST ALERT WORD GIRL TO OUR LOCATION! " He slammed his finger into the remote impatiently sending the army of 100 to stomp even faster til.. he heard it, the sound of metal slamming against the concrete floor followed by that beautiful whistle of energy that followed her wherever she flew

WG: " Tobey! "

" ah~ Worrrd Girl. What an expected event! I take it your partner and you have come to see what I would like or to distract me in hopes I let my guard down in order to take down my 100 robits faster hmm~? "

WG: " Well yeah actually, you don't typically bring this many unless like I annoy you, defeat you too fast, if you want the attention like the lone- "

" ENOUGH!!! Ahem … I mean that's quite enough you have made your point… And what would you have it… I happen to want something from you and that, is to Go to the Park with me this afternoon!! "

…….. …….. …….. WG: snort ….. Giggle snort BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Narrator: OOOWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH "

Captain Huggy Face: oooeeeah ah ah ah!! Eee ee aaah aahh!! "

" STOP!! STOP … LaughING!! AT ME!!! "

They all kept laughing hysterically at Tobey as the boys' face not only lit up red from humiliation but from anger " I'M WARNING YOU! …GHHH ROBOTS ATTACK!!! "

The previously halted robots started stomping again as Word Girl had to quickly stop her laughing fit to fly after one to stop it from crushing a food kart only to be stopped in mid air by a sudden pulse of energy. Tobey pressed a hidden switch on his remote to activate the Secret Weapon, a type of pulsator that made the radiation of the meteorite wave outwards like a bat would hear sound waves… Each robot had a bit of Lexonite in them so Word Girl currently being surrounded by them made her plummet to the ground, hitting the floor and rolling over herself into the side of a wall

Tobey bit his lip, but shook his head and assured himself that she was fine… She had to be, she's Word Girl after all! Nothing can actually… Kill her. He put on his best poker face and lowered himself to the ground in front of her meeting her scowling face Returning a smug one to her and acting all proud

WG: T…Tobey… What.. did.. you DO!?! L…Lex??

" correct! Lexonite.. all of my robits have been equipped with my latest masterpiece Word Girl Repel!! …. Not my best name but it suits~! Now if you want to save the city you'll have to take me seriously and, IF … you try anything against me or my army of robits… I have a small piece of Lexonite on my person AND I will happily press the button again to knock you out of the sky~ So… What will it be then Word Girl? The city…. Or a walk in the park with me "

She coughed a bit before getting herself back onto her feet, the scowl didn't leave.. in fact it only seemed to get worse, the heroin looked disgusted by him which made him raise a brow

WG: ghhh… I knew… You were desperate …. But this?… This is a new low… Theodore… I thought you… respected me "

He jumped a little but cleared his throat some " I-I do!! I respect you very much… But you have to admit Word Girl… You and I… You are just so brilliantly more powerful than I could ever dream. I had to equal out the playing field by doing a little… Mmm… Cheating~ you know well I'm no stranger to it, so I don't see what the big deal is "

He rubbed his pointer finger against his thumb while snorting a scoff at her as her eyes widened some

WG: you don't…. YOU DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS!?!? TOBEY!! LEXONITE COULD KILL ME IF I'M AROUND IT TO LONG!! "

She basically screamed at him which caused him to back up a little bit, she's never been so frustrated at him before… But clearly she was faking it! TCH " oh Word Girl hahahaha~ the things you'll say to get out of a situation, but my intellect is much higher than that! Please give me more credit~"

WG: I WOULD!! If you even knew what Lexonite did!! You don't even know how could y- "

" QUUUUIET!! QUIET!! I've had quite enough of your complaining… Now… Park or you can say hello to the new in trend Flattened Buildings!! "

She hesitated and looked to her partner Captain Huggy Face whom shook his head desperately and made a whole lot of sad monkey sounds as she knelt down to him and put a hand on his shoulder " It's okay Captain Huggy Face… It's just a little bit on Tobey… So he said… Tch… I'll be okay and.. it's just a walk in the park… "

" and whatever else we can do to have a wonderful weekend together~ "

WG: yeah yeah su-- the whole weekend? Tobey, I am thee ONLY super hero in this city that fights crime you can't …."

" covered "

WG: huh? "

" You are covered, Word Girl~ See I can't have any other pesky villains getting in the way of Us time, all of my extra effort for the past few days was to individually build a robot to counter every single one of your enemies!! "

WG: I….. What? …. That…. That would be… Pretty awesome if that was done in literally any other fashion then how you are choosing to do it right now … Tobey why don't you just …."

" HUSH!!! …… You wouldn't understand…. Not like you would even listen to me try and explain my reasoning would you? Hmmm? I'm just an evil nerd with a power complex… Now… About that complex… Finish up your sorry goodbye to your partner so we can GO! Already "

Word Girl got a more sentimental look in her eyes as she gazed down some towards the floor " Right…. " She turned back to Captain Huggy Face " keep my secret identity life in check okay? Go home and tell… THEM… that I went to hang out with a friend alright? "

CHF: Eee eee ooo aaa….

WG: I know… I love you too They hugged before Captain Huggy Face shook his head at Tobey with a face of complete disapproval and ran off back into the city and Word Girl approached the genius boy that extended his hand to her. Eyebrows going up and down " mmmmmmmmm????? "

She made a cringed face " euuugh… This is so forced… Can't we walk to the park without holding hands? "

" AHEM… " he reached for his pocket and she quickly went to snatch his hand in her own, lacing her fingers between his as that was the most natural hand holding that came to her. Tobey's face utterly lit up in glee as his voice cracked so hard

" YEEEEEEEES!!! " he coughed and pounded his free hand against his chest to clear his voice again " I AM VICTORIOUS!! WORD GIRL IS MIIIIIIINE!!! "

WG: well I mean technically…. "

" MWUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! "

WG: kssssssh,,,,, Okayyyyyyy,,,,,"

[karaloza]

I have a confession to make to the LoZ fandom...

I kind of hate the premise of Age of Calamity.

Nintendo crafted an exquisite tragedy to serve as the backstory for Breath of the Wild--and that's a tragedy in the Greek sense, where the terrible outcome is inevitable because of the human flaws of the people involved (mostly Rhoam, but also slightly Zelda). The game needed a tragic backstory in order to be what it was--a game about moving on from loss, learning to appreciate and make the most of and protect what remains, and finding the beauty in stillness and emptiness.

And by and large, players adore it. We love exploring this desolate Hyrule, discovering ruined structures--some ancient, some a mere century old--and memories, and gradually piecing together the horror of the Calamity that left the world in this state. We love what hasn't been destroyed--the NPCs who have slowly been rebuilding civilization in Link's absence, the unspoiled wilderness reclaiming what was once settled and filling it with natural resources and beauty. We love Link as a microcosm of his world, battered and scarred to near destruction but barely pulled back from that precipice and now functionally reborn, shorn of the weight of his former role along with his memories. As he gets to start over, to recover himself without the extraneous baggage that once oppressed him, so too does Hyrule re-emerge from the ashes and even attain new growth, as with the Tarrey Town sidequest. We find meaning in the aftermath of the tragedy, in what it decimated, what it merely brushed against, and what it seemed not to touch at all.

And then along comes AoC to say nope, actually, the thing to do if possible is prevent the Calamity...and since we're the game devs at Nintendo, it IS possible! The true ending is the one where the tragedy is averted...and hence BotW never happens.

It just feels...idk, kinda cheap, like Nintendo is backpedalling away from the sad story they told us...after thousands and thousands of us found deep meaning in it. And in the process, that meaning is denied.

And I kind of hate it.

They could have done so much better. Imagine a version of AoC that instead leans in to the tragedy, letting us play as Link and Zelda and the Champions as they barrel toward a horrible foregone conclusion, seeing what little they can save along the way. Imagine missions such as rescuing a family cowering in their home as Guardians tear it apart, or escorting a group of evacuating soldiers and citizens, or being a Champion mowing down hordes of monsters on the way to your Divine Beast, only to be faced with the Blight Ganon and unable to win, but scoring based on how long you hold out.

I mean, jeez.

And at the very least, if they wanted the option to avert the Calamity, the pitch should have been "On this day 100 years ago, the kingdom of Hyrule fell...because YOU [the player] weren't there! This is your opportunity to change history!" But instead we got "What if secret time-traveling robot?" It's unsatisfying.

Okay, rant over.

[lovers-instead]

.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Bad Reputation

Fandom: Marvel (High School AU)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x GN!Reader

Summary: For some reason, your high school’s resident bad boy, Bucky Barnes, seemed to have made it your personal mission to be a thorn in your side.

A/N: inspired by this gif set.

Your eyes glance up every so often to make sure your notes are correct as you scribble into your notebook. Mr. Coulson continues to talk about history and you're adamant to jot down every single thing he says.

You feel something hit the back of your head, but you ignore it. A minute goes by and you feel it again, along with a "pssst!"

You shake your head and try to keep your focus. Something something 1894-

"Hey," you jolt when you hear a whisper and a tap on your shoulder.

You look over your shoulder and see James "Bucky" Barnes now sitting the seat behind you that was previously occupied by Brunnihilde, "What, James?" you hiss.

James, or Bucky as he likes to be called, smirked at his first name. Not many got away with calling him that, but you did.

"Wanna hang out after school?"

You turn back around to continue taking notes, "Don't you have detention...again?"

He scoffs, "Yeah, but I'll skip it for you."

"Pass," you mumble.

You hear him sigh and lean back, "Suit yourself." Minutes pass and you turn back around and Brunnhilde is back in her seat.

________________

When you walk out of class, Bucky is waiting for you by the door. You ignore him as you walk down the hall to your next class. He follows closely behind, you hear the creaking of his leather jacket that he usually wears.

"Leave me alone, James."

Bucky rushes around to stand in front of you, stopping you in your path, "Y/N, why do you hate me so much?"

"Because you're annoying, you're a troublemaker, you never know when to shut up you, you-"

"Jeez. Alright. Damn."

"I have to go to class, James," you walk around him and continue your journey.

He catches up to you again, "I'll walk you!"

"No, thanks."

You continue to head to class, but Bucky doesn't follow this time. He stops in the hall sighing and pushing his hands into his distressed jeans. He looks down dejectedly and heads in the other direction to his class.

The bell already rang by the time he steps into class. Ms. Hill writes him off and he, to no one's surprise, get detention yet again for having three tardies in a row.

He slumps into his seat behind his best friend, Steve, and sighs. As Steve is writing notes, he murmurs only low enough for Bucky to hear, "No luck?"

"Nope," Bucky murmurs back. He looks down and looks how his black t-shirt clings to his round belly. He pats it and sighs, "Do you think they'd like me if maybe I wasn't so chubby?"

"Y/N may not like you, but they're not shallow, Buck."

"I just don't get it. Why don't they like me?"

"Probably because you annoy them so much," Steve answers with a smirk, which earns him a flick to the ear.

"Ow!"

"Steve, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

He shakes his head, "No, ma'am."

Ms. Hill goes back to giving her lecture and Steve hisses, "Quick being a jerk."

"I'll quit being a jerk if you quit being a punk, you punk," Bucky retorts with an amused grin.

___________________

You head to your usual table where Scott, Hope, Luis, Carol, Brunnhilde, and yourself usually eat.

You sit in between Scott and Carol with a sigh. It's Tuesday, but you already want the week to be over. Carol leans in and whispers to you, "Don't be alarmed, but Bucky's been looking at you since you walked over here."

You groan and let your head fall onto the lunch table, "Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"Because he likes you," Hope answers.

You snort, "More like he likes to annoy me. I don't want anything to do with him. Bad guys like that are up to know good. I don't have time for that."

"I like Bucky," Scott speaks up with a smile, "He's cool."

"You just like him because he gave you a nickname," Hope replies with knowing smirk.

"He's a cool guy!"

You hear a burst of laughter and you look up to see Bucky throwing food at Clint and Sam two tables down.

You roll your eyes and pull out your own lunch. As soon as you're about to take a bite, you hear "WATCH OUT!" and you're hit in the face with a piece of pizza.

Everyone suddenly goes silent. You look up and see Bucky's look of horror. He's immediately rushing over to you, "Y/N! I am SO sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, James." you say calmly.

He looks at you in surprise, "Wait, really?"

You take Scott's cupcake that he got from Gamora and said, "NOPE!" and smashed it onto his face.

He wipes away the frosting and smushed cake, and smirked, "That's how it's gonna be? Fine." he grabs your tupperware of pasta and dumps it over your head, "FOOD FIGHT!"

Everyone begins to scatter and starts throwing their food left and right. You grab your food, Scott's food, Luis' food, any food you can get your hands on and throwing them to Bucky.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS!" you yell at him.

"AND YOU'RE A STUCK UP!"

The doors to the cafeteria burst open and the principal, Mr. Fury, yells, "EVERYONE FREEZE." And you all do.

You're seething, glaring at Bucky, chest heaving.

"Who's responsible for this, huh?"

Everyone points to you and Bucky who are in a more isolated area of the cafeteria. Fury, watching where he stepped, marched over to you. He points to Bucky, "Barnes." and then you, "L/N, my office. Now."

________________

Two weeks. Detention for a whole two weeks. You couldn't believe this! Because of Bucky, your record was no longer clean. Your dislikeness towards Bucky just grew after that.

After school, you marched into the cafeteria where you'd be helping the lunch faculty.

"Alright James and Y/N, you'll help with dishes. You can discuss who will wash and who will dry."

Without looking at Bucky you head to the sink, "I'll wash."

Bucky cautiously follows you and stands by your side waiting for you hand him washed dishes.

"Y/N-"

"Don't talk to me, James."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs in a painted tone, "I really didn't mean to throw that pizza at you."

"Why are you like this?!" you drop the dishes back into the sink, "Why must you annoy me and bother me every chance you get?!"

"I-I don't mean to-"

"Bullshit, Barnes!"

"I like you, okay?! I like you and I-I don't know what to do! The only time you look at me or talk to me is when I bother you and I just-I just want you to talk to me, Y/N. To see me."

"Why me? There's plenty other people who'd rather have your attention!"

"I don't know. There's just something about you. You're sweet and smart. You're caring. I know-I know something like me doesn't deserve the attention from someone like you, but I can't help it."

You snort, "You don't know me though. Not really."

"Well, maybe I can get to know you now? Ya know, since you and I will spending a lot of time together here?"

"We'll see," you answer before heading back to doing dishes.

__________________

After a week of detention, you and Bucky were more civilized. You got to know each other a little bit more. You found out that he wanted to take over his dad's construction company, that he wanted to help Steve get into NYU with the money he's been earning from working with his dad.

Bucky learned that you wanted to go to school for journalism and that you have a pet bunny named Floppy.

You found out that Bucky knows Celine Dion's music very well because his mom loves her.

He found out that you wanted to be on Broadway when you were younger, but realized you had bad stage fright.

Whenever you two saw each other in class or in the halls, you didn't turn in the other direction. You gave each other a nod and a polite smile.

Then...the flowers started happening.

You walked into Mr. Coulson's classroom and found a daisy with a note next to it. You picked up the note and it read:

I saw this cute flower and thought of you. Have a good day.

-JB

You looked at the back of the classroom to where Bucky usually sat, but he wasn't there. You snort to yourself and roll your eyes. He's probably going to late, per usual.

A few minutes before class started, Bucky waltzed in and sat in the empty seat beside you. He pulls out a notebook and pencil. He writes the date at the top and looks up at the front of the class to see if there was anything on the whiteboard.

He then turns to you and smirks, "Hi."

"Hi. Thanks for the flower."

"You're welcome," he looks down at his notebook and then looks up to see you still staring at him. He chuckles, "What?"

"You're early to class and prepared....are you feeling okay?" you lean in, feeling his head with the back of his hand.

You swats your hand away, "Quit it! I'm fine! Just turning over a new leaf. I'm gonna be a changed man, Y/N."

"Okaaaay?"

Your school day went by fast. One moment you were in your first class and the next you're in the cafeteria helping clean the kitchen.

"So...what's the real reason you're suddenly trying to be a good student?"

"Does there have to be a reason?" Bucky asks as he wipes down the counters.

"There's a reason for everything, Bucky." you freeze and so does Bucky. You look up and he's looking way too smug for your liking, "It was a slip of the tongue."

"You called me, Bucky."

"It won't happen again."

"Can I hear it again?"

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Hell no."

"Okay...I do like it when you call me James, though. Just so you know." he looks at you with a soft stare and an equally soft smile.

You cleared your throat and went back to refilling the fridge with milk, "Anyway, the reason?"

Bucky sighs and walks over to you, resting against a counter as you work, "Had a meeting with Fury. Said if I don't improve on my grades, I'm gonna get held back. Means I can't pursue my goals with taking over my dad's business, can't help Stevie with school. I gotta be better."

You pause and then ask, "Do you....want some help?"

"Um...I'd like some, but you don't have to. I can't ask-"

"You're not asking, James. I'm offering."

"Sure."

So after school, while you and Bucky served your detention, you helped him study.

Eventually, your detention was over, but that didn't stop you from helping Bucky. During lunch, you two would be in the library. You two would study at the park near your house. You soon began to show you his grades and they were definitely improving.

When Bucky got his first A in a long time, you took him out to lunch to celebrate.

You guys went to the local café in your neighborhood, getting burger, fries, and shakes.

You lifted up your shake, "Congrats, James, to your first A in a logn time!"

Bucky held up his own and clinked it to yours, "And to you, Y/N, because I wouldn't have done it without you."

"Guess we make a great team, huh?"

Bucky smiles that smile that you've noticed he only does with you, "Yeah...we do."

____________

"You've been spending a lot of time with Bucky for someone who hates him," Carol states as you join them at the lunch table after what seemed like forever.

You rolled your eyes as you sat down, "I don't hate him. I never did, honestly. Just strongly disliked! But anyway, we're good now. Bonded a lot during detention and then I was tutoring him. We're....friends now."

"Just friends?" Brunnhilde asked.

"Yup. Just friends!"

After school, Bucky is waiting for you by your car.

He nervously wipes his sweaty palms down his round belly and runs a hand through his hair, "Um, hey."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know something. You know my feelings for you and, honestly, they haven't changed. In fact, they've only grown since we've been spending so much time together. And, there's another reason why I wanted to do better in school...and that's you."

"Me?"

"I wanted to be better for you, so I can show you that I'm not just that punk ass kid that doesn't care about anything and anyone. That I'm more than just my bad reputation. And, I think this past month, I've done a pretty good job at showing that. But anyway, I was wondering, if you feel the same? And if you wanna go on a date sometime?"

His confession floored you. You didn't expect him to say any of this, "James, I-I won't lie, that I have some feelings for you, but it-it takes a lot more than this for me to like someone. I mean, we just became friends. And while I do like how you've changed, I just-there's more to it than just that."

He nods and clears his throat, "Right. Got it. I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," you grab hold of his arm, "Maybe...we can just be friends for now and see how it goes?"

He nods, "Yeah. Okay. You set the pace and I'll follow, Y/N. I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all."

"I can't promise anything would come from this."

"I know. I'm just....glad you finally see me."

You smile at him with softness in your eyes, "I'm glad I finally see you too."

[rollercoasterwords]

algorithms are destroying the world make your own gd decisions about shit

if you hate freedom so much go read a google ads round robin fanfic on ff.n (I think Michelin and Bridgeport are doing the enemies to lovers back and forth rn) or go 😳 at whatever happened to lj

or change all the names and sell your erotica to bellsaplus; just know that the writing is better, and the porn is more diverse on ao3

🥂

(I say porn but JEEZ guys even if you’re reading nothing but gen-fic the writing is still usually trying to say something unlike the useless pap that capitalist “content creators” churn out — to generate clicks in order to generate data on what people do everyday sitting and watching or better—-shopping. that data is then sold to other bidders. please protect the plentiful, the beautiful, the ao3. god knows what anyone would say if they say my ao3 history)

wow ok coming in hot! i'm assuming this message is meant to be like...ranting at me the way u would to a friend on facetime and that the "you" you're yelling at isn't actually me? and i am also going to take a wild guess and say that this is a response to the tiktokification essay i wrote that has escaped its enclosure and is now running wild across tumblr. so.

yes i agree we need to protect ao3 and yes i agree anything made for the sole purpose of getting as many people to click on it as possible is probably going to be pretty soulless but i feel like this rant is maybe getting slightly away from what the original intent of my post so i'm just gonna use this as an opportunity to address a few things i've seen across people's responses that have made me like :/ (warning this gets long lmao)

the tiktokification essay was not intended to be an all-encompassing analysis of the way things are across every fandom space connected to ao3. like. i am pretty secluded over in my little corner of marauders-fandom tumblr and i generally post my little essays expecting maybe like...10-20 people to interact with the post? like, when i post stuff on this blog, it's just because when i start thinking about something i can't really relax until i sit down and write my thoughts out and organize them. so when i'm posting those thoughts on tumblr it usually feels to me like the equivalent of facetiming a friend and rambling at them, except the friend is my little handful of beloved tumblr mutuals <3 anyway, i know the post is called "the tiktokification of ao3" which is a very broad statement, but that's just because i like pithy titles. if i had known it was going to run amok across tumblr i probably would have been a little more intentional with my phrasing, but oh well! what i did do is specify in the post that i was only talking about the marauders fandom, because that's literally the only fandom space that i am a part of. it's interesting to see how widespread the stuff i was talking about seems to be across different fandoms, but for anyone who has interacted with the post to essentially just be like - "ok but this isn't true everywhere/in every case"....cool! that's because i was talking about a phenomenon i have observed specifically within the marauders fandom.

it was also not intended to be me shaking my fist and cursing the youth, nor was i trying to invite like...an "us vs. them" mindset between older and younger members of fandom spaces. this is where i've seen some stuff that's made me a little like...hm. because, ok. i am one of those people who's sort of in-between the like...older versus younger sects of fandom spaces. and so i see the ageism that gets aimed towards older people by a lot of younger teens, and i understand why a lot of older adults are fed up with young fans and feel defensive, and i get that teens can be annoying on the internet. on the other hand, i still very clearly remember when i was an Annoying Teen on the Internet, and it was because i was still just...learning, y'know? like. i was just coming into contact with complex ideas about emotion and morality and relationships and everything, and that is just part of being on the internet together. there will always be shitty people, yes, but there will also always be people learning, and especially when those people are young teens, i personally tend to try and start out by giving them the benefit of the doubt. like, i tried to be clear in the post and also included in the tags (though those do get lost when the post gets spread around) that i wasn't trying to condemn anyone for engaging in the behavior i was talking about, because i do genuinely think that a lot of it is simply coming from a place of not knowing any better. so, while y'all can vent however you want on your own blogs and i do understand the frustration, i just want to make it clear that my own intention was to say - hey! younger marauders fans! here are some things to think about moving forward in how you interact with fic, since you have maybe grown up with only one model of social media, unlike those of us who grew up with the internet (i was literally born the same year google was invented) and have seen various examples of social media and observed how it's changed over the years. and it was also intended to say - hey! older marauders fans! if you're scratching your head and wondering wtf is going on with younger fans, consider that they maybe genuinely do not know better and this might help explain some of the roadblocks when it comes to trying to communicate with each other about our fandom spaces.

i did not intend to imply that there is anything wrong with wanting people to read your fanfiction. this is another thing that like. i might have spent some more time clarifying had i known how many people were going to be reading the post. but i did state very clearly that "those sharing their work online might be seeking community, but that is fundamentally different from seeking an audience." it is completely natural and understandable to want people to read your writing!! i actually made a separate post about this after the tiktokification essay but obviously they're not going around as a pair lol. however, i stand by the statement that writing fanfiction with a goal of going "viral" or just getting as much interaction as possible is not sustainable and will not bring you deep or lasting joy. idk i'm not gonna go on about this here if u want to know my thoughts on social media culture rot u can scroll through my blog i've talked abt it in a few different posts.

i was not trying to say that negativity is a new phenomenon in fandom spaces. a few people have interacted with the essay and said something along the lines of "i disagree with this"/"this isn't accurate" because there always have been and always will be people in fandom spaces who are entitled and rude and criticize fic. which like...cool! i'm sure that's true. i do think you missed the point of the post a little bit. it was specifically about a phenomenon in the marauders fandom involving the way that changes in social media over recent years have fundamentally altered the way we view online interaction, and the way i have observed that bleeding over into the marauders fandom. it wasn't just about general negativity in terms of things like comments and messages so much as it was about how expectations relating to influencer culture and virality have led to things like...people making tiktoks about "jegulus fics i hate" or fics going viral on tiktok and people then interacting with the writers as though they are the ones who made those tiktoks. and granted, i have only really been involved in this fandom for a single year, so maybe i'm just wrong about how new this is! but the tiktok stuff at least can't be older than like...2020. so. i do actually do think it's valid to talk about how changes in social media culture might be affecting the ways people interact with ao3 and fic, and i do think there's more to it than just "people will always be negative and entitled sometimes!"

i was not trying to say that we have a right to treat influencers/people posting shit on other social media sites as though they are products. this is another thing that a few people have felt the need to add on, which...okay. nothing wrong with wanting to clarify that. again, if i'd known the post was going to get so much attention, i might have spent some more time talking about it. but i'll just clarify here - my observations about the way capitalism gives rise to an influencer culture that essentially leads to viewing people as products are just that. they are observations. they are not normative statements. just because i understand why we interact with influencers like that does not mean that i think we should interact with influencers like that. however, there is a difference in an influencer whose job is content creation on social media versus an ao3 writer, and the purpose of my essay was to talk about that. saying "we shouldn't treat ao3 writers this way" does not mean "but we SHOULD treat all influencers this way."

anyway, as i warned at the beginning, this got very long -- and honestly, each of these points could probably be its own separate essay, but....i'm tired rn lol. i know that most of the people reblogging the tiktokification essay probably will not come all the way to my blog and run across this post, but i'm just leaving it here because i get grumpy easily and it's annoying to see people misinterpreting or missing the point, so i want to have all the little things i've thought about addressing in one place.

and anon - the main reason i say you may have been getting slightly away from the original point is just

1 - it had nothing to do specifically with porn, and that seems to be mostly what you're talking about? which like. real. but also just wasn't really part of the original post lmao

2 - you seem pretty angry, which again is valid, but i'm just...not. like i feel like u came into my inbox wanting to rant back and forth, and the thing is that i wasn't really intending to rant in that essay! like i said, i'm not necessarily angry at the people i've seen asking for algorithms, because i think a lot of them genuinely don't know better because they have only ever used social media that is algorithm-based, and to me that's mostly just sad and something i wanted to pick apart and piece back together like a puzzle, so. apologies for hijacking your rant to as an excuse to write a whole 'nother essay lmao i appreciate ur energy tho <3

[byronblogs]

Squealing Santa 2020- Cheating

“You should have thought about that before you cheated.” Iida shows Kaminari what happens when he cheats. @tickly-floof @ticklygiggles  

Kaminari finally succeeds in cheating on his Hero History test when it rubs Iida the wrong way, punishment ensues. (He is the Class Rep and all.) Fandom; BNHA/MHA

A/N: Sorry that the characterization might not be great, but I figured it was pretty close for someone who hasn't written anything creative for months😁 hope you like it! Merry Christmas❤

    For once in a lifetime, Class 1-A was actually warned about a test before Aizawa Sensei walked into class with the paperwork in one hand and a sleeping bag in the other. Everyone had prepared differently, some spent a whole week pouring over assignments and textbooks, some let it slip into the background and crammed at the last minute, and some decided they could sneak past the Class Rep while he was leading a study group and steal the answers. Kaminari thought he was smart, and he spent a good hour patting himself on the back for getting the test copy without his teacher or Iida noticing. 

    Normally, Kaminari would have shared, if he was honest he intended to, but he was already so impressed with his expertly executed recon mission that he didn��t want Mina to accidentally say something at the wrong time or have Mineta find out and bribe him for answers. Yes, Normally he would have shared, but a success like this was hardly normal. 

    Kaminari’s second success was when he somehow managed to sneak his answers into the class and turn in his test without revealing himself. He was sure that at this point, Aizawa was either letting it slide or losing his touch. 

    Not more than a day later did the tests come back, and kaminari could not have been happier. He’d thrown a few answers to look less suspicious and managed to land himself a solid B, the highest grade he’d had in years. He was so busy fawning over it in the dorms that he never even noticed Mina come up behind him in the dining area. 

    “Is that your test, Kami? Ooh! Let me see, let me see! Did you flunk it too?” Mina had pulled the test from his hands before he could even react to her presence, thankfully she was out of the way before a startled shock jumped between his fingertips. 

    “Woah! Hey, lay off!” Kaminari twisted in his chair as he tried to grab his test back, “Be careful, you’ll crumple it!”

    “You say that like you wanna tape it to the fridge, what did you get, an F minus?” Mina giggled, using one hand to push Kami away and the other to hold the paper up as she scanned it, “Woah! What the hell, Kami!? How’d you get a B?” Kaminari nearly fell out of his chair when she removed her hand from his face to cradle the test in both hands.

    “You what?” Iida’s voice echoed through the room as he stood up on the other side of the table where he, Midoriya, Todoroki, and Yaoyorozu had been going over their grades. The Rest of the class must have been off doing the same in the solitude of their rooms.

    “Nice work Kaminari!” Midoriya cheered from his seat, ever encouraging. Several positive reactions came from around the room as Bakugou appeared seemingly out of nowhere to tear the paper from Mina’s hands.

    “Damn, Sparky, not bad, you cheat or something?” Bakugou scoffed, eyebrows quirked as he scanned the test over before Iida stomped over and took the test as well, earning an indignant growl from the blond.

    “Precisely my question,” Iida frowned over the test before narrowing his eyes at Kaminari, “Cheating is forbidden in all testing environments,if you achieved this grade through dis-honest means-”

    “Woah woah woah! Everybody slow down, I didn’t cheat! I just studied! Can we please just stop playing Ring Around the Rosie with my test?” Kaminari begged, speaking a little too quickly as he leapt from his seat to grab his test, only for Iida to catch his wrist.

    “Oh, I don’t think so, you never study, especially of your own accord. Don’t lie to me. Did. You. Cheat?” Iida seemed more bristled than usual, his frown deeper and his height towering. 

    “Jeez, Iida, let me have this!”

    “Answer the question.”

    “I- well…” Kaminari gulped, “Okay fine! Yes, I cheated, but I think I should be getting a pat on the back anyway,do you know how hard it was to sneak past you and Aizawa Sensei? My recon skills should be applauded!” He pulled his wrist from Iida’s grip and threw his hands in the air, pouting.

    “Kaminari!” Iida chastised, “You are a student of UA, you should be holding yourself to a higher standard than this!”

    “Calm down, Iida! It’d just one stupid test!” Kaminari held his hands out defensively as Iida started stepping closer, Kami stepping back. At this point, everyone had grown quiet. Bakugou had stepped back to watch the show, Mina simply taking a seat on the table to stay out of the fray, and the study group in the corner sharing looks, wondering if they should be breaking this up.

    Nobody had ever seen Iida this angry, however, nobody had ever successfully cheated on a test either, “It is not just a ‘stupid test!’” Iida’s voice had yet to raise, but it certainly seemed more strained as he stepped forward, jabbing a finger at Kaminari with every step as the test crumpled in his other hand. “As Class Rep, it is my job to ensure that 1-A is holding a standard and behaving as future heroes should, and as of this moment you have done nothing but shatter that image!”

    Iida had backed Kami into a wall, leaving the boy nowhere to go but sideways, causing Iida’s poke to miss its mark on Kami’s chest and land on his side instead. It was the strangled yelp that left Kaminari’s throat that seemed to sober Iida for a moment.

    “Kaminari?” His voice was calmer, concerned as he scanned over his classmate, “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

    “Nope! I mean! Uh-” he swallowed, “I’m fine! All good! I would like to leave this conversation though, so if you don’t mind-” Kami moved to pass Iida, a faint blush on his cheeks, only for the taller boy to gently push him back into the wall by his shoulder and reach for his side.

    “Absolutely not. You don’t have much of an honesty streak going,and if you’re hurt your injuries should be addressed!” Iida gingerly started squeezing Kaminari’s side, searching for whatever injury caused his outcry, paying careful attention to how the boy stiffened.

    “H-Hey! Easy, Iida, I told you, I’m fine!” Kami insisted, pushing at Iida’s hand, still firmly planted on his shoulder. “Seriously, man, just lay- Ah!” The squeak certainly caught Iida’s attention.

    “Is that where it hurts?” Iida questioned, gently pressing on the little spot beneath Kami’s ribs to feel for injuries.

    “No, Iida! Wahait!” Kami dipped his head low and pulled a leg up to his stomach as his giggle escaped, trying to block Iida’s fingers. 

    It took the Class Rep about ten seconds of confused staring to finally get it. “Oh.” The subtle grin that spread across Iida’s face was devilish, and his tone was no better, drawing Kami’s wide eyes up to meet his.

    “Oh god, don’t you dare.”

    “I think I dare.”

    The attack was sudden and brutal, the test still held between Iida’s hand and Kami’s shoulder was forgotten as the larger boy dug into Kami’s lower ribs, rippling his fingers up the boy’s ribcage as he squealed. 

    “Iida! No no no waIT! Gaha! Gehet ohohoff! Iida!” Kami flailed, floundering between pushing Iida away and slamming his arms down, eventually settling to slide down the wall and try to turn out of Iida’s gip, the test fluttering to the ground as his escape was cut short by a large arm pulling Kami’s back to Iida’s chest and digging into his ribs.

    “Well, I think I’ve just figured out how to discourage cheating in the class.” Iida proclaimed as he dove his second arm into the frey, scratching at Kami’s stomach. By now, the rest of the room had relaxed and started chuckling along, Bakugou grumbling something about wanting to see that fist fight and leaving for his room. Mina had taken to giggling hysterically and shouting tips from the sidelines, not that Iida was hearing any of it. #

    “Iidaha! Stohohop, oho my Gohohod! Plehease! I cahahan’t!” Kami kicked wildly as he clawed at the hands assaulting his torso, squeezing his eyes shut and slamming his head back against Iida’s shoulder.

    “Maybe you should have considered that before you cheated, after all, your plan was so well executed.” Iida spoke in Kami’s ear, causing the boy to crinkle his neck and pull his legs to his chest momentarily, a squeak breaking through his laughter. When holding his weight grew too distracting, Iida chose to sit down right where he was, trapping Kami in his lap as he counted up his ribs. 

    “Tell you what, if you can tell me the correct answer to one of these test questions without your cheat sheet, I’ll let you go. Sounds good?” 

    “Whahahat!? Nohohoho! I cahahan’t! Iidahaha, plehehease!” 

    “Great! Now, let’s see here…” Iida leaned to the left a little, peeking at a question on the first page, Kami had spent plenty of time staring at it, he must have learned something, “What President approved ‘Hero’ as a job in the states?”

    “Ihihi- ohoho gohod! Ihihi dohon’t know!” Kami started sliding down in Iida’s lap with his squirming, laughter bright if not a little panicked.

    “Sure you do! Guess.”

    “Uhuhum! K-Kehenedy?” he shrieked a little as Iida flipped him out of his lap and onto the floor, leaning over him as he started drilling into his hips. 

    “Not even close. Maybe you need some encouragement.” 

    “IHIHIIDAHA! Nohoho! Nohohot theheheHEHERE! Gehehet ohohohoff!” Little sparks started jumping from Kami’s hair and skin, not enough to hurt, but enough to be startling, so Iida pulled his hands away just in time for Kami to arch his back and kick the wall, connecting his heel right with a wall socket and promptly knocking out the power. For a moment, all you could hear was Kami’s huffing breaths and slowing yet hysterical giggles as he calmed down, this quiet was short-lived, however, as the whole room busted out laughing.

    “Oho my Gohod, Kami! What did you do?” Mina cackled, Midoriya wheezing like a dying seal in the corner, bent over the far end of the table. Even Todoroki was Chuckling wildly. 

    “What the FUCK, Sparky!?” Bakugou called from upstairs, presumably seething. Kaminari stopped sparking just as a glowing-eyed Aizawa walked into the room with his Capture Weapon gripped in his hands.

“What is going on in here!?”

    The chorus of different students laying out blame on Kami and Iida did the poor eclectic hero no good in his explanation of his test results.

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

[companionjones]

Four Years

Requested by: Anon

Request: ~if u dont take requests like this plz ignore this~ So the reader is like 19 and has a history with drugs and was mixed in with a real bad crowd as a teen. Now shes the twelth doctors companion and is trying to get sober (he didnt know she was using) and shes going through bad withdrawal. (Sweating, migraines, bad fatigue, throwing up, fever, shaking, shivering.)

Pairing: Platonic!Twelfth Doctor x Reader

Fandoms: Doctor Who, New Who

Warnings: Talk of drug use, throwing up, other withdraw symptoms

If you live in the US, please check if you’re registered to vote!

*******

    Sitting on the floor of your bathroom on the TARDIS, you were in the middle of a break between puking spells. You were shaking and your head was pounding so much that you were barely aware of the world around you. You didn’t even notice the Doctor had entered the room until you flinched away from his arm on your shoulder. You knew he was speaking to you, but you didn’t have the energy to pay attention.

    Next thing you knew, the Doctor was helping you to your feet. You didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to move, but you were too weak to fight him. You threw up in the hallway before you got to your destination.

    The Doctor helped to lay you down on a table in the medbay. You shut your eyes to shield them from the florescent-like lights, and you pulled your legs into the fetal position in a vain hope to make your stomach feel better.

    “Drink this,” were the first words out of the Doctor’s mouth that you could actually make out. He was offering you a paper cup filled halfway with a blue liquid.

    Just seeing the drink made your stomach churn, and smelling it made you gag. You tried to turn away.

    The Doctor gently touched your shoulder. “No. Come on, you can’t do that now. Come on, drink up.” He pulled your mouth open as tenderly as he could (you didn’t fight him that much because you knew that he was trying to help). He poured the liquid down your throat.

    It burned, and you grabbed his arm to ground yourself and keep from throwing up the elixir.

    He put his other hand on your cheek and stroked it to comfort you. “Deep breaths. Deeeeeeep breaths.”

    After a minute, you felt better, but you still knew you wouldn’t be out of the woods for a while. Your head still felt groggy, and your stomach still felt a little weak.

    The Doctor explained, “It’s going to lessen your symptoms for a while...enough time for you to get some sleep...I don’t know exactly how long, though. That depends on how long you’ve been using.”

    “Using...?”

    “Yes, using,” he repeated with a knowing look in his eye.

    You swallowed, “I...don’t know what you’re talking about--”

    “Don’t be stupid!” The Doctor momentarily lost his comforting composure. He quickly regained it. The Doctor sight, “Just...let me help you, alright?”

    Out of shame, you shut your eyes.

    He noticed your discomfort, and tried to lighten the mood. He pulled up a chair and smirked, “They call me the Doctor, remember?”

    Your lips twitched up as well.

    The Doctor asked again, softer that time, “How long have you been using?”

    “...Three years, I think?” you replied after a moment. “No...Jeez, by now, I think it’s been four.”

    The Doctor bowed and shook his head. “Y/n...”

    “I know. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I know,” you apologized. “But you were promising so much. I thought I would start over. Start another life.”

    He sighed, “You’re not the only one who’s made mistakes, Y/n. I’ve made plenty of my own...You can never erase your past...But you can always make better choices. You can learn from your past mistakes, and make better decisions. If you’ll let me, I can help you.”

    Taking a deep breath, you started to nod.

    He smiled, “Good...I’ll be right by your side, Y/n. I promise.”

    “Thank you so much, Doctor.”

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! If you would like to read more, I have more fics on Doctor Who on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[ckret2]

My Son’s Favorite Pokemon

Fandom: Pokémon, Detective Pikachu movie Characters: Harry Goodman, Tim Goodman, and Detective Pikachu Words: 2200 Summary: Harry adopts a Pikachu to give his estranged son for his thirteenth birthday. Notes: *casually spends the whole fic dodging the fact that we don’t know the name of Tim’s mom or grandma* Inspired by this post, which @dialovers linked to me. Warnings: Proofing is for people who aren’t riding on the high of posting fic for a movie that’s been out less than a week.

"He's going to be over the moon when he receives you," Harry told the newly-adopted Pikachu sitting on his lap. "You're my son's favorite Pokémon. He loves Pikachu. When he was a kid—a younger kid, I mean—he used to make up fantasy dream teams—you know, wild things, with crazy rare mythical Pokémon—half of his dream teams had Palkia, and one of the lake guardians to calm it just in case they ran into Dialga, heh—that's Tim. Big dreamer and smart as a whip."

For a moment, the bubbling excitement in Harry's chest abated. He had no doubt that Tim was as sharp as he'd ever been—no doubt, even smarter now—but was he still the excited little dreamer Harry remembered? Harry's mother-in-law said Tim was still making good—well, okay—grades in school, he wasn't getting in any trouble; but he kept so quiet these days, she had no idea what was going on in his head. He hadn't talked about the League in over a year.

Harry pulled himself from his worries. "Anyway," he said, and the Pikachu turned its gaze away from the bus window back to Harry's face. "Every single team he dreamed up—every one—had a Pikachu on it. He's always wanted to have a Pikachu."

The Pikachu smiled up at him, and Harry wasn't sure if it understood what he was saying or if it was just happy to hear its own name so many times. The shelter he'd picked up the Pikachu from didn't know anything about its training history—it came in a little roughed up, but no more or less than would be expected of a typical wild Pokémon or a Pokémon that had recently been in a battle directed by a trainer and hadn't had time to heal—and they had no idea how much human language it had learned to understand, if any. But that was okay. It was well-behaved, it was socialized around humans, and it didn't have any problems with unprompted shocking. Tim could teach it the rest in time.

Harry felt his excitement growing again. Tim's thirteenth birthday was two days away, and according to his grandmother, he still hadn't gotten his first Pokémon. Harry couldn't wait to see Tim's face when his dad showed up with a Pikachu just for him. He remembered how Tim used to smile when trainers passed through with theirs, or when he was clinging to the chain link fence surrounding the patchy dirt battlefield at the neighborhood playground to watch kids battling.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd seen Tim smile. He didn't have much to smile about, in the year leading up to... And then Harry hadn't seen Tim at all in over a year and a half, except in pictures his grandmother sent. He always looked so solemn.

If anything would make him smile, it would be a Pikachu.

The bus slowed, and Harry told the Pikachu, "This is our stop." He scooped his hands under it in preparation to carry it, but to his surprise the Pikachu nimbly climbed his arm, tugging and stretching the sleeve of his jacket, to settle on his shoulder. "Hey!" He reached up to pat the Pikachu. "You comfortable up there?"

It happily chirped, "Pi-ka!"

As he stood, he saw a woman sitting across the bus aisle quickly drop her head, fighting back a smile. She'd probably heard him gushing about his son to the Pikachu. He felt a lot more conspicuous with a Pikachu on his shoulder—people kept looking at him and smiling. As if his good mood needed to be buoyed any more than it already was.

He couldn't wait to get up to his apartment to talk to Tim. He pulled out his phone, dialed, and put it between his ear and unoccupied shoulder while he searched through his massive mess of a keyring—lock box keys, PO box keys, several keys from old cases he thought might be needed again in the future, a dizzying array of keychain cards for the stores he frequented—looking for the lone little key to his mailbox. He wasn't going to tell Tim about the Pikachu, but he could let him know he was coming to see him for his birthday. Maybe drop a couple of hints to get him excited.

The Pikachu leaned forward to peer at Harry's many keys, the mailbox door, the mail he took out of it. "You're a curious guy, aren'tcha?" He handed a piece of spam mail to Pikachu to see what it did with it, just as Tim picked up.

"Hello? Dad?"

"Hey, kid!" And suddenly, he didn't know what to say. It had been—how long?—almost three months since he'd last talked to Tim? He had to sound cheerful. He had to sound loving. He had to sound dadly. And that was hard, because he was cheerful, and loving, and a dad, but suddenly he didn't know how to act all those things at once for the benefit of a kid he hadn't seen in a year and a half and spoke to on a quarter-yearly basis—was he being dad enough? Did he sound fun and fatherly enough to compensate for three whole months of silence when he couldn't think of an excuse to call his own son? That was a lot of pressure to put on the first five seconds of a phone call. "How's—how's it going?"

"Fine."

He waited a moment to see if Tim was going to add anything else, until the silence was verging on awkward and he hurried on: "Did I catch you at a bad time? Are you busy?"

"No."

Okay. Monosyllabic. Yeah, that was fine, Tim was almost a teenager—jeez, Tim was almost a teenager—he was probably, probably picking up the uncommunicative teenager schtick. Harry glanced at the Pikachu to make sure it wasn't going to lose its balance as he climbed the stairs to his apartment. It was nibbling on the corner of the envelope he'd handed it. "Well, I—wanted to wish you a happy early birthday! The big 1-3. I can hardly believe it." He couldn't believe he'd missed the entire 1-2.

"Yeah. Thanks, dad."

He pulled out his keyring again, and started the laborious search for his apartment key. "And your grandma tells me you still don't have your own Pokémon, huh? Getting a little up there, aren't you? I thought you were gonna have a whole team by thirteen." Okay, it wasn't his most subtle segue—was it just him, or was it a lot easier to covertly interrogate suspects and interview witnesses than it was to pick his own kid's mind? Was that a problem other detective-dads had?

"Yeah, no, I—I don't want a Pokémon."

Harry dropped his keyring. "What?!"

"I changed my mind."

"You ch— But you love Pokémon! You've always wanted to be a trainer."

"That's a kiddie dream, dad," he said, like two-days-from-thirteen-year-old Tim had vast wisdom far beyond that of mere eleven-year-old Tim. "It's basically impossible to make a living as a trainer. Especially in the League circuit."

"Yeah, but..." Harry looked down at his keys in dismay, as though their ungainly sprawling collapse to the floor were somehow representative of the progress of this conversation. "But some people do. You know, the really good ones." He half knelt to pick up his keyring; Pikachu jumped off his shoulder, grabbed it, and held it up for him. He held the mouthpiece of his cell phone out to whisper, "Thanks."

"Those are just statistical outliers. They skew the data. It makes it look like more people succeed than really do." Harry's mother-in-law had said that Tim was getting really into math these days. Tim's grades had dropped after his mother's death; by now, he was shakily passing in most of his classes, but recently he'd shot up to star student in math. He must have got that from his mother. Harry had to pay someone else to tell him how to do his taxes.

He finally got his door unlocked; Pikachu squeezed in the moment the door was open wide enough for it to squeeze through. "When did this change?"

"I dunno." Tim's tone was dull and defensive, like he resented having to tell his dad about changes in his interests. "It's not a big deal."

It was a big deal to Harry. It was the biggest shift in Tim's life since—well—since the last time Harry had seen him in person. "So... you don't want any Pokémon? At all?" Harry looked down at the Pikachu. It was sniffing at the potted plant under the window. He hissed, "Hey! Fss fss! Fss!" and gestured for it to get away from the plant. He had no idea if the leaves were safe for a Pikachu.

He almost missed Tim saying, "No? Not really."

"Huh." For a moment, he wasn't sure what else to say. He considered, Would a Pikachu change your mind? but was afraid it wouldn't and that his presumption would just embarrass them both. Tim said he didn't want a Pokémon, so...

In his mind, he could still picture the smile on Tim's face when Harry handed him a Pikachu.

He didn't have any other excuses to prolong the call. "Well... I guess I'll s— Do you want me to visit for your birthday?" He could already feel his stomach winding up and preparing to sink; he knew what the answer was going to be. He should have just said he was going to show up. If he could still offer the Pikachu, he'd have had a reason to declare he was coming, instead of asking his own son for permission to see him.

But even though he was Tim's own father, he didn't feel like he had the right to demand to see him, even on his birthday—especially on his birthday. If there was ever a time when he had the right to demand Tim's company, it had been right after he moved to Ryme City to find an apartment for them. When his mother-in-law had called to say Tim was refusing to come, that was when he'd had a chance to veto a grieving eleven-year-old's decision and tell him he was coming anyway.

But he hadn't. He hadn't want to hurt Tim even more by making him move when he wasn't ready. He'd thought he'd get Tim to come later; but now, it felt impossible to ask. Like, in that moment, he'd somehow forfeited his right to be Tim's dad.

"No, that's okay," Tim said; and, right on cue, Harry felt the bottom of his stomach drop out. "You don't have to."

I want to, Harry wanted to say; but after a year and a half of being so careful not to push his son, he couldn't push now. "Okay. I'll—I'll call you, all right?"

"Sure."

"Happy birthday, kid."

"Thanks. Bye, dad."

"Bye." It wasn't until the exact second Tim hung up that Harry realized he hadn't said I love you.

With a sigh, he sank down on his couch, dropped his head into his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair. Pikachu tentatively padded on all fours between his feet to look up at his face. It was still holding its junk mail in its mouth. It had chewed off one side of the envelope. "Hey," he said wearily. "Change of plans." He wondered if he could return the Pikachu to the shelter, quickly decided that would be a pretty heartless thing to do, and said, "I guess you're gonna be staying with me a while instead."

"P—" It plopped down on its little yellow tush so it could take its envelope out of its mouth, looked up at Harry again, and said, "Chaaa!" A smile twitched at the corner of Harry's mouth.

The Pikachu ripped at the gash it had made in the envelope, noticed the colors of the decorative border on the paper inside, and pulled it out. It unfolded it, held it up, and examined it. For a moment, it looked like it was consulting a little Pikachu-sized folding map.

Harry huffed a laugh. "I'm not gonna be able to leave you in the apartment. Pikachu are really high energy, right?" That had been one of the reasons why he and his wife had decided not to get Tim a Pikachu when he was too young to be responsible for it—they would have ended up doing all the work to burn off its excess energy. "You're gonna make me really stick out when I'm on the job, though. Everyone looks at a Pikachu." He propped his chin in his hand, looking at the Pikachu consideringly. "Maybe if I got a hat to disguise you..."

Pikachu had lost interest in the spam, dropped it, and was now wandering over to the TV. It got up on its hind legs to sniff at the screen. Harry wondered if it could smell electricity.

Tim would know.

"What do you say? Wanna try out detective work?"

It twisted to smile at Harry over its shoulder. "Pika pi!"

Comments/reblogs are welcome! If you want to leave a tip or like the fic on AO3, the links are in my description!

[yayninjabob]

A story behind a story

I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I. Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it.  Well not really the story but the story behind the story?  

A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control

How I started writing again: My relationship with my writing was non existent for years.  I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit.  I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it.  Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever.  I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh. "What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked. Ffffffuck me I dont know.  Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life.  I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it.  But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least. Anyways. January was my dads bday.  2019 and that year my dad asked for something.  Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him.  Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.   "What?  A story?  A poem?  A birthday card?" "I dont care just write me something." Typical. "I dont care."  Yeah right.  What the hell does he expect from me jeez.... My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next.   He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say.  I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea. So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure.  Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day.  I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words.  It really surprised me how easy I found those words though.  Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way.  It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol. I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer."  I figured he would appreciate that.  I gave him the story on his birthday.  He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up. And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right?  He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this.  He told me "You need to write again.   You need to try." But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway.  Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno.  I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting.  It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly.  The passion just wasnt there. After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right?  Maybe you should retell another story that you love." And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux

Part I:  Remote Control I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain.  I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears.  What. A. Trip. So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better."  I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.   Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1.  It was still in Buttercup's limited POV.  I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead.  I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.   When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy.  It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.   The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it.  I didn't think anyone would read it.  But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good.  I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving. And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed.  After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism.  The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed. A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances.  Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.   And I did!  On the first day!  And I was PUMPED lol.   Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past!  I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me.  And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further. And now I'm done with Part I.  Jeez what a freaking journey.  I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.   Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit.  But.  It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more.  And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing.  Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it. So yeah.  I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad.   I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol.  And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.   Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain.  Thanks for reading. :)

[pandora15]

3-5, 7, 9, 10, 13, 17, 21, 26, 27, and 38, please?

3. Favourite character from Prequals?

*shifts awkwardly* I think y’all know the answer to that one, right?

it’s obes kenobes

4. Favourite character from original trilogy?

Han Solo!  I read quite a few fics focused on him before I got around to watching the prequels and getting obsessed with Obi-Wan.

5. Favourite character from sequal trilogy?

Hm...it’s hard to say, I think it’s a tie between Rey and Finn.

7. If you could choose any profession to have in the GFFA, what would you be?

Hmmm......I’d like to be away from all the drama and death and stuff, so maybe I’d be a farmer or something? But knowing me, I’d probably not like that very much. *shrugs*

9. What food from Star Wars would you want to try?

Blue milk sounds really cool, ngl.

10. Which character do you feel is most like you?

Oh jeez, I have no idea.  I feel like I can identify with quite a few of the characters, and also exactly none of them.  Does that make sense?

13. Would you want to be a force user?

Oooh that would be really cool - but I’d have to be really careful about it.  Definitely don’t want Palpacreep getting on my trail.

17. How were you introduced to the fandom?

Hm...So let’s backtrack to my very first semester of college, circa October 2015.  I was studying for a chem exam with people in my dorm, my friend walked up to my table and asked us if we wanted to see the midnight show for TFA in December.  Despite not really wanting to see it, I agreed because I basically had no social life and I was desperate for friends (yikes).

Keep in mind, at the time, I’d watched the OT maybe once when I was really little (and remembered very little of it) and ROTS when it came out in theaters (which I remembered more of because of Mustafar and the realization that Luke and Leia were siblings).

So yeah, I got to see TFA right when it got released, and I loved it.  Then, over the winter break that followed, I told myself I’d (re)watch all of the previous Star Wars movies so I can fill in all the gaps and refresh my memory.

I watched the OT in January 2016, liked it, and found myself really liking Han’s character!  Then, I tried to start TPM, got stuck on a scene that jarred me a bit, and decided I’d get back to it.  I ended up giving up on it because I had to go back to school for the spring 2016 semester.

Throughout that semester, I kept thinking that I couldn’t call myself a Star Wars fan without even watching the prequels.  So as soon as the spring 2016 semester finished, in May 2016, I watched TPM on one night, and then AOTC and ROTS back to back two nights later.  By the time I finished, it was really late so I just fell asleep and that was it.

And then, two days later, it hit me - Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And yep, that’s it.  I started reading a bunch of fics, realized that there was a whole bunch of Obi-Wan content in TCW (including Maul returning?? which intrigued me to no end when I first learned about it), and binged TCW that summer.

And the rest is history! :)

21. Which heroine is your favourite?

Ahsoka!!!! I love her!

26. What type of job would you want?

I feel like this question is really similar to #7?  But I guess it would be cool to do something math-y or technical, since there’s a lot of technological advancements in Star Wars, especially in the PT era.

27. Top 3 planets to visit?

Naboo, Coruscant, and Alderaan!

38. Fic recommendations?

Oh, jeez, I mean I made a post a few weeks ago here.  But here are a few that I’ve read recently and enjoyed:

somebody to someone by katierosefun

Asleep In The Morning Snow by UnderABlueSky

And Now They Walk Alone by LazarusII

Unexpected Kindness by wr0ngsideofreality (slothlover42)

And there’s a whole bunch more I’m definitely forgetting, but yeah!

(star wars asks)

[puppyenergy]

💕 Undertales

pete i owe u my life

*proceeds to write a fucking essay on why i love every single character in undertale*

i love all the characters in undertale. i just love how real they are. how real their motives feel. and how those motives don’t always have to be like “i wanna free everyone” how those motives can be flawed or how those motives can be as simple and genuine as “a lady i don’t know asked me to protect you and i’m honoring that because she likes my knock knock jokes” and how each character is connected in some way, they just feel so natural and real and alive and it brings their world to life as well.

and i also adore the fact that you can’t get to the true ending of the game until you meet and befriend every single one of these characters. it’s the fact that your bond with them is what incites all of these characters to save you. and it’s the fact that they end up being what pushes you onwards, to save them, and save everyone as well.

undertale could’ve just been a game where monsters are trapped underground and you free them someway somehow, but it’s just. so much more than that.

anyways here’s just a few reasons why i love every one of undertale’s characters in no specific order:

alphys

in all honesty, i rlly appreciate alphys’s character. for most of the neutral run, the person you’re getting to know isn’t actually the true alphys. and u end up finding out she was lying to u the whole time, using mettaton to help her fabricate this narrative. it’s so SO fitting that alphys is the one u have to go back for to get the true ending. u end up seeing her tear that persona down bc she wants to better herself. and u end up seeing her admit to her mistakes, and change, and do better. and it’s just, so healthy to see an adult character with all these insecurities who’s avoiding her mistakes actually improve herself.

sans

sans is rlly a wholesome character. it’s so clear that he genuinely cares about everyone in the underground. i mean, look at what happens when u go to grillbyz with him! everyone knows and loves him! he sells hot dogs at his sentry station to monsters, he does stand up comedy at the hotel to keep everybody happy, he starts a fucking pretend concert when ur jamming out with shyren. his entire motivation for not killing frisk the second they left the ruins is bc someone he didn’t even kno asked him not to and “someone who genuinely likes knock knock jokes has an integrity* u just can’t say no to” i’m CRYING. and it’s clear that he’s not the happiest skeleton in the world, all the jokes & puns aside. he had to give up on his past experiments and thusly had to give up on “going home.” dude is stuck in a place he doesn’t belong but he’s doing his best to make his little brother & everyone else around him happy, all while protecting frisk. jeez????

*i also love this line bc both sans & papyrus can turn ur soul blue and the blue soul is integrity.

papyrus

papyrus is also a great character and i’m not just saying that bc he has some of the best lines in the game. also his battle is so fun. it’s the first battle in the game where ur heart turns a different color. this skeleton BELIEVES in u. he believes that everybody is capable of being a good person. i love how he comes out of the gate boasting about how he’s going to capture you and become part of the royal guard but he ends up wanting to be ur friend instead. bc despite how many times he calls himself great, deep down he’s insecure and just wants a cool friend who thinks he’s also cool. yet he still has these great messages about boundaries and how it’s important to have many friends and not just cling to one person. tbh i think that’s one of the best messages papyrus gives, besides the fact that anyone can be a good person. i also love how he lives to not only uplift himself but others as well………

undyne

man i fucking ove undyne’s PERSONALITY, like, the moment i fell in love with her was when she was standing atop the cave and was like “first let me tell u the history of our people………ACTUALLY, U KNO WHAT? SCREW THIS! WHY SHOULD I TELL U WHEN UR ABOUT TO DIE” and there’s just all these close up shots of her face and her theme song is blaring and she like, whips off her helmet and u see her face for the first time but it’s this dramatic shot of her standing on top of a fucking mountain its so ANIME AKLGHDKSLHGDSH. both her battle & her hang out are probably my favorites in the entire game. ITS JUST SO FUNNY LIKE. “undyne clenches her fist and shakes her head.” “undyne thinks about her friends and pounds the ground with her fist.” “undyne suplexes a boulder just because she can.” AND THE DYNAMIC OF HAVING TO RUN AWAY FROM HER AND SHE CHASES AFTER U BUT UR JUST WALKING THE ENTIRE TIME AND SHE FUCKING STOPS WHEN U GET A PHONECALL AND PAPYRUS IS LIKE, in the middle of undyne chasing frisk down to kill them, “hey human! let’s hang out with undyne later!” AND THEN RESUMES CHASING U AFTER UR DONE. she gets too hot in hotland and passes out, but if u give her water then she just. goes home. without saying a word. bc even tho she has been consistently trying to kill u, and u could’ve just left her there, u HELPED her. up till that point she was convinced u were faking kindness. but after that, she realizes ur not a bad person and leaves bc she can’t kill someone who’s not a bad person. her soul mode is literally the color of kindness. i can go on and on, how obvious and cute her crush on alphys is, alluding to how she literally just keeps soda at her place even tho she hates it bc she knows alphys likes it and won’t let u drink it bc that’s for her crush omg. how she teaches papyrus how to cook bc she doesn’t want to tell him that he’s not fit for the royal guard. how much she admires asgore and goes as far to say frisk reminds her of him bc they’re both so kind. and god everything she says after alphys confesses to her that she’s been lying about everything undyne is so FULL OF LOVE FOR HER FRIENDS

HOLY FUCK I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT WHAT UNDYNE DOES IN NO MERCY TOO I’M SCREAMING

THERE’S A REASON WHY THE NARRATION IS SO DIFFERENT DURING HER NO MERCY BATTLE AND WHY NARRATOR CHARA ADMIRES UNDYNE AND THINKS SHE’S THE BEST CHARACTER IN UNDERTALE AND THAT’S BECAUSE SHE IS

(i have a theory that chara, during no mercy, thinks that undyne has the best chance of stopping u which is why they get so excited when she arrives and so upset when she loses. i also just think chara and undyne are rlly similar too, in like. so many ways. also ik i’m going off on like 3 different tangents i’m so sorry to anyone who’s reading this i just get rlly excited about undertale.)

mettaton

mettaton is probably close second for my favorite battle. i honestly love his character and how it never rlly hits u how the whole “evil human killing robot” facade was so obvious until u play again. he’s obvious trying to do what he loves, entertaining people, while being saddled with this task to pretend he’s an evil robot trying to kill you. the reveal that he’s actually a ghost inside a robot is even more like a punch in the gut bc u realize that…alphys never made him. she made him a body, sure, but not him. i rlly like watching let’s players react to his battle bc of what he says towards the end, about how humans have so many actors and entertainers, but monsters only have him. and how much life and happiness he brings to the underground, and how he would leave a gaping void if he were to leave. it’s rlly sweet to see let’s players connect with that moment imho. i also love how he returns home to visit his cousin after their phone call.

also death by glamour…objectively sexiest undertale song

napstablook

speaking of mettaton’s cousin, napstablook is so sweet. ik this post is getting massively long but it wouldn’t feel complete without them. honestly, the fact that after mettaton left, they wanted to start getting to know their other neighbor (undyne) but was too intimidated to talk so they started making her a mixtape which is just a bunch of dudes screaming their signature wrestling moves is so fucking adorable and hilarious. also the fact that they just straight up avoid the apocalypse by not answering when it knocked on their door.

toriel

toriel……..is my mom. enough said.

ok no i lied not enough said. dude how heart breaking was it learning that all the kids she tried to protect in the past ended up leaving her and getting killed by her fucking ex-husband’s order?? hello???? and that she was so desperate to not lose another child that she was going to destroy the exit to the ruins, which would mean she would never be able to hear another knock knock joke from her only fucking friend (sans), and she would just be stuck in the ruins forever bc she’s goddamn immortal. i’m gonna CRY.

asgore

i like how asgore is written, i don’t like his actions tho. i definitely love all the build up to him, the parallels, how he’s always painted as a nice guy and every character tells u to talk to him, but the second u get to him he destroys ur mercy button and ur left with no choice but to fight him or get killed. new home & onwards is when undertale’s storytelling is at its strongest, is what i personally think. asgore definitely plays a part in that.

flowey & asriel

flowey & asriel are such complicated characters idek if i can summarize what i think about them but i guess all i’ll say is i’m just happy with how undertale treated the both of them.

frisk

me when it’s revealed that they’re their own person and not the player or chara

chara

ok finally on to the character who, if i had to pick one to be my favorite, would claim that spot.

i will admit. i am a big chara stan. :pensive: i personally think they’re the most relatable and interesting character in undertale. i also hate how they’ve been treated by the fandom, like they’re evil. i think it’s undeniable that they are the narrator in all paths in the game. they are woken up by frisk’s determination, after all!

of course, with the true ending, u help their brother gain closure on losing them, proving both chara & asriel that the idea of “kill or be killed” is wrong, and then helping them finish the plan that they both failed- destroying the barrier and freeing the monsters. then flowey encourages chara (and indirectly, the player) to not reset and to let frisk live their life, which chara does, unless the player decides to start a new game.

the one thing i just rlly like about chara tho is that they’re always encouraging u, making all these silly puns, jokes, quips, providing advice and tips on how to spare monsters- like they r rlly invested in helping frisk. it’s clear they’re a good person. they knew almost every monster in the underground. they’re incredibly smart. they’re a big fucking nerd and into anime. they liked gardening to the point of having a gardening knife specifically for cutting plants. they cared about their family so much that they had bff necklaces with their brother, they knitted a sweater for their dad, they loved their mom so much they talk like her. but they’re not a flawless character. they’re coded as a mentally ill abuse victim. they hated humanity, they ran away to a place where people are said to never return. when they messed up, they got so upset that they laughed to cope. they’re flawed, but their brother idolized them so much. and on top of this all they had this pressure on their shoulders that they were “the future of humans and monsters.”

but their plan failed, and it was either kill or be killed by the humans attacking them. and u all kno how that ended. :(

i guess in a way that’s kinda why i think chara and undyne are rlly similar. they’re both incredibly determined, they both wanted to free the people they cared about, they both had a loved one who didn’t want to hurt people, they both shouldered this huge responsibility, and they both would not hesitate to hold ur ass responsible if u ended up doing some awful shit.

✌️

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG OMG this is my only excuse

[joanna-lannister]

margaret-rhee replied to your post : margaret-rhee replied to your post :...

Oh I think my favorite theory is that Bran somehow messes something up in time and makes the mad king mad (like saying burn them all is referring to the white walkers) kind of like Hodor. This is my favorite mostly because Bran annoys me and I would believe that this whole show is his fault somehow 😂 What about you?

I just hope they do Maggie justice whatever happens. I really liked how they wrote her this season (and how she was actually in scenes) so I’m hopeful that she might get a good end If she has to be written off at all

Oh, I love that one too! Some people hate and tried to debunk it but if that's true, it's pure genius imo! I don't hate Bran but I understand what you say, I think he will have a big part to play against the Night King tho. I love this theory too : Bran=The Night King. Still don't really get how it works but I love it.

Oh my dear I have so many theories, for almost everything! The GoT/ASOIAF world is so rich! I always wanted to write down my favorites somewhere but I'm kinda afraid to receive hate because the fandom is so messed up, but now it's the right time, I guess? It will be long and I'm so sorry, if you read everything : THANK YOU ❤️ So... let's go!

the Night King & the White Walkers win: everybody dies and everyone is sad lol

no more Wall: and no more Night Watch, the White Walkers are totally annihilated and the human race survives

the Iron Throne will be melt down: by wildfire? dragon fire? not sure. they fought so many years over this ugly piece of shit metal, it would be cool in the end if no one sit on it and if the human survives, they symbolically destroy it to rebuild a better world. as for Westeros, they are either united under one King or Queen or each Kingdoms are ruled by noble family, just like before Aegon's Conquest (the North=Stark, the Westerlands=Lannister...)

Sansa is queen: in her own right? consort? in the North? of Westeros? I don't know but I truly believe she will survive and be in charge one way or another, the Sansa queen imagery is too strong and it would be such a waste to kill her just for shock value so she will be happy in the end i hope or i will hunt D&D

Sansa marries Jon: my shipper heart talks here but i believe to unite the North or Westeros these two are the perfect match

Arya marries Gendry: okay I have big doubts about Arya survival, don't know, a bad feeling but I think she will marry him, maybe not in a tradional way but some kind. We still have Robert quote "I have a son, you have a daughter. We’ll join our Houses." I always tought it was a foreshadowing for these two. So maybe she marries him before the big battle and dies here or she marries him at the end and they have somehow a happy ending. honestly i just want her to be happy with Sansa 😊

Melisandre dies saving Davos: oooh the sweet irony...

Daenerys dies beyond the Wall: (or what's left) when I watched GoT the first time, I thought "She is going to win and will be the queen" but then, the Red Wedding happened and it totally change my perception of the show and more I watched it more I realise her visions in the House of the Undying are a metaphore : she never touch the throne, she hear her dragons, follow the sound and pass the Wall and find Drogo & Rhaego. (And here people will hate me) I think when she's gonna learn Jon has a better claim than her to the throne, she will get angry. Jeez, she fought men for years, she survived in their world, and just like that, one man has more claim than her because of a piece of paper ? She will lose control and make a huge mistake and when she realise it, it will be too late and she will try to fix it because at her core, she's a nice girl. maybe by killing Viserion? but she will die with Drogon (like Rhaego, he's her baby and he carry Drogo's name) and she will find some peace because even if she fail, she did the right thing in the end if i'm right, i will cry my ass off for days lol

Alliance Lannister-Stark: okay if the Dark!Daenerys or Dany is the Night Queen theory happen and Winterfell destroyed, i want the Starks to ask for help to the Lannisters. This alliance would be so ironic but in the end, the Starks betray the Lannisters and execute them like Ned

Cersei dies in childbirth: i know most of her fans hate this idea but this is probably my favorite. her love for her children made her do terrible things, she wanted their safety but it backfired her. she blamed Tyrion for Joanna's death (jeez, i understand). it's kind of poetic, tragic and ironic. i can see her sacrifice herself in order to save her baby, maybe Qyburn performing a c-section like Maggie did to Lori? D&D could totally write this for shock value plus it somehow fulfills the Valonqar prophecy twice: Jaime, her little brother, got her pregnant and indirectly caused her death and baby!Lannister, the little brother/sister of her children, caused her death

Baby!Lannister survives: two possibilities here : 1) he's raised by the Starks, he know nothing about his birth parents and hates the Lannisters. I think about this quote : "If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa’s dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya." It would be funny that Sansa save the last Lannister and raise him as his own. 2) Tyrion promises Cersei to take care of the child, just like Ned with Lyanna, and escape with him. And because History repeats itself, they end up like Daenerys & Viserys. Flashforward 16 years later : baby!Lannister is all grown up, wants to avenge his family and say "I will take what is mine and they will hear me roar". Black screen. End of the show. LOL And then they can make another spin-off

Jaime & Cersei die in fire: If Cersei don't die in childbirth, I can see her burned with Jaime. Maybe by Daenerys or, imo, the White Walkers attack King's Landing (like Stannis in Blackwater), they have no way to escape, Cersei uses wildfire and burns the city. They exchange one last kiss and turn into ashes... "A day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth" I mean... it's pretty poetic and romantic

Cersei kills the Night King: As above : the White Walkers attack King's Landing, Cersei uses wildfire and burns the city. Like, she saves the world by accident 😂

Jon dies: no comes back, no magic, he dies. Period. LOL

Sam wrote ASOIAF: cliché but i love it!

OMG! I have so many others ideas but I stop here, this is so long! I'm so so sorry... If you have read this big mess, BIG THAAANK YOU. If you haven't, it's okay I understand 😂

Same! I really liked her too this season (Lauren is so goooood), guess it's the Angela Kang effect (hell I even liked N*gan dialog but i still hate him lol). Maggie deserves a happy ending with baby!Gleggie and all the love in the world, she has already suffered enough. And even if she unfortunately don't come back, I'll tell myself she's okay, she's safe and she's doing good like this 😊

[xxbyimm]

Enya’s unexpected journey - Chapter 21

For all other chapters, click the number: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16a, 16b, 17, 18, 19, 20 . 

OR: List of chapters

Hi.

It's been three months (yes, I feel SO FUCKING ashamed about that) but I finally found some energy to finish this chapter! I feel a bit anxious about posting again, but there we go... the damage is done. I have to admit I fucked this up by allowing Thorin and Enya to do their thing. And I'm not even sorry.

Please let me know what you think of the next chapter of their story!

Enjoy <3

PS. Gelek menu caragu rukhs = you smell like orc dung Uzfakuh = my greatest joy Ghivashel = treasure of all treasures.

Chapter 21

Summary:  Enya meets Bard the bowman. Will he allow her to leave Laketown? And will Thorin be happy to see her arriving in Erebor, or... not?

Taglist: @symphony25 @oakenshieldsmizimel, @nelswp, @bellastellaluna, @imagines-for-multiple-fandoms, @leah-halliwell92, @sassytyphoondetective, @jotink78, @armitageadoration, @patanghill17, @sweeticedtea, @evyiione, @fergrigori, @thegreyberet, @maeoneill, - Tumblr doesn’t want to tag some of you properly, I’m sorry!!! If you wish to be on this list, please let me know.

Warning: Enya’s swearing. Contains smut. Seriously. SMUT AHEAD. Proceed with caution.

‘Da, she’s not waking up!’

The sound of a honey-sweet voice in distress lured Enya from her slumber. Her body felt wrecked. She clenched her teeth when a burning sensation spread through her limbs, making her hiss softly. Good gods, what happened? She felt like she had a little (alright, a lot) too much to drink last night and then decided to run the marathon. Enya slowly opened her heavy eyelids, her senses still hazy from her recent unconscious state. Her surroundings seemed blurred and it took her vision a few seconds to adjust to the dimmed light. There was a wooden ceiling above her, the thick beams hoovering over her body. The room was warm though and Enya heard fire crackling in the distance. She was wrapped in a woolen blanket.

What the actual fuck?

The last thing she remembered was practicing her water skills on the docks… What happened? It seemed like she built a new habit in which she accidently woke up in all kind of places; not being able to recall how she got there in the first place.

‘She will wake up, sweetheart. Don’t you worry…’ The voice of a man hushed the little girl. ‘What if it’s the same as with mom?’ she answered. ‘What if she….’ There was a short silence between the two. ‘Don’t talk like that, Tilda. She’ll come around eventually, I’m sure of it. All we have to do is get her warm. Can you get some extra blankets from upstairs for me?’

Enya groaned softly as she attempted to get herself to sit up straight. How many hours had passed? For how long had she been like this? There was no time… The others must have reached the lonely mountain by now. She had to join them. She had to… ‘Hold it, my lady.’ Strong hands supported her sides and gently pushed her upright. Enya hissed again as a sharp pain shot through her spinal cord, a sign of her body to take it easy and let it be. She clenched her jaw, knowing she had to pull through. There was no time. She would kill for a heavy painkiller right now… Stupid damned middle earth!

‘Easy now…’ the man coaxed. ‘You’re lucky to be alive, my lady. You need some rest.’ ‘No time.’ Enya replied and looked up to see to which kind villager she owed her life, and probably her dignity as well.

‘Well hello there!’ her mind squealed and Enya bit her lip. If Thorin hadn’t been her one, if Mahal hadn’t designed them for each other… She would definitely not mind to hit that! This human male was very easy on the eye with raven black long locks and carefully trimmed facial hair. His hazelnut colored orbs were beautiful. The man himself was eyeing her in a friendly manner. He seemed intrigued by her appearance. Enya smiled faintly and sensed there probably was a lot of passion hidden below that kind surface. Yes, he was good-looking… But still… there was no way he could beat Thorin, nor could he best her king’s panties shredding gaze. ‘Jeez, how could we ever forget about that intense “sexual predator” stare our king can muster?’ her mind mused. ‘I mean, I know I lost my panties at some point… where are they anyway En?’

Well, since Thorin ripped them off her in the bedroom of the master of Laketown... Probably there. What if the master looked under his bed and found that shredded, lacy piece of underwear…

Oh god no.

She could only hope the master didn’t know what panties were… Or never found the need to search under his bed. Or be sexually active for that matter, because who would…? A giggle got stuck in her throat and pressed her lips together. This was no moment to get all jolly, god damnit.

‘Thank you.’ Enya murmured softly to the man as she tried to regain her composure. ‘I believe I owe you my life.’ The man shrugged. ‘It was nothing my lady. Allow me to carry you closer towards the fire.’ ‘I’m fine, I can walk.’ she muttered, scrambling herself together. The man inclined his head and took a step back. Enya took a deep breath and carefully lowered herself from the table. ‘See? I’m-’ she began, but then her surroundings became quite blurry again, making her grasp the table behind her. ‘No, you’re not fine. You’re as white as a sheet!’ He established. ‘Please…’ Enya nodded shortly, not liking the fact that this stranger was right. There was no way she was gonna walk towards the fireplace without collapsing down on the floor. She needed a break to catch her breath again. The man lifted her up and took her in his arms.

‘I found you on the docks. You were freezing cold and for a moment I thought you were dead.’ The man told her as he lowered her into a chair next to the hearth. ‘To be honest, I was a bit surprised to find a dwarrowdam like you. because I was under the impression all the dwarves of Erebor left this morning. Are you part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield?’ ‘Oh… Yes.. I-I was delayed.’ Enya answered, a little distracted by the fact that stranger knew the name of her one. ‘I meant to go after them as soon as possible, but something went very wrong.’ She stared in the distance and her brows furrowed together as she tried to remember what happened to her. ‘What’s your name?’ the man inclined as he studied her curiously. ‘Enya Blueheart.’ She said. ‘Princess of the firebeard clan.’ ‘I am Bard. Or Bard the bowman, as they like to call me around here.’ ‘Bowman? Now that’s an interesting name. What is your trade?’ ‘I’m a bargeman. I enable the trade between Laketown and the Woodland realm.’ ‘So where does the bow come in?’ Bard smiled faintly, not really looking forward to share his painful family history with a mere stranger. A dwarrowdam even. It puzzled him that this dam seemed genuinely interested. Every local was familiar with the story. Didn’t she know…? ‘The story is widely known around here, my lady.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ Enya said. ‘I didn’t mean to insult you. I grew up in...’ she paused, trying to figure out how much she wanted to share with this man. ‘The land I grew up in differs from here. I didn’t even know about my own heritage until I came to middle earth.’ ‘So you didn’t know you were a princess?’ Bard asked. Enya laughed. ‘Up until recently I believed I was a human. It was quite a shock when I learned that I am, in fact, a dwarf with royal background.’ ‘Nogrod…’ Bard muttered as he vaguely remembered something about the firebeard clan and the awful way they met their demise. It was a gruesome tale in which the last fire warlock of the clan died fighting a foul creature that served Morgoth: a dragon.

‘Miss Blueheart…’ Bard began as he handed her a drink. ‘May I ask how you ended up here?’ ‘Please, call me Enya.’ Enya replied and took a sip from the ale he had given her. ‘It’s a long story, I wouldn’t even know where to begin… Also…’ she grinned. ‘You successfully dodged my question about the bow, but that doesn’t mean I forgot it. Why the bow?’ ‘Alright. If you tell me your story, I tell you mine.’ The bargeman gave in. ‘Deal, but you start.’ ‘My family consists of a lineage of bowmen, but the people, or rather the master and deputy in this town like to call me by this name to give offend. My grandfather was Girion, the lord of Dale. He is the human who failed to take down Smaug with the precious black arrows when that wretched evilness came to take the lonely mountain. The city of Dale was destroyed because of this failure.’ Enya sensed the deep resentment Bard had for his forefather, but she decided not to pursue the matter. Instead she gave him a bright smile. ‘Mine died fighting a dragon too.’ ‘The warlock…?’ Bard immediately asked. ‘But your family was…’ ‘Yes. My grandfather was Emrak, the last fire warlock of the firebeard clan.’ Enya said, choosing her words carefully. There was no need to tell him more than he needed to know right now. Black holes, another dimensions, witch powers, memories that had been wiped away… it would be too much for a man who basically lived in the middles ages. Even a kind one. ‘My grandmother escaped from our city and got my mother elsewhere. I grew up thinking I was human.’ She laughed when she saw a frown appearing on Bard’s face. ‘A very tiny human.’ She added. ‘I just thought that my family was… different.’ ‘So you never met a dwarf before?’ Bard questioned, clearly puzzled by her story.

Well, shit. This one was clever, too. ‘All inhabitants in my country are men.’ Enya admitted. ‘Except for me and my family, of course.’ ‘What is this country you speak of?’ he asked. ‘It’s called America.’ Enya replied matter-of-factly. ‘A-me-ri-ca?’ Bard repeated slowly. ‘I’ve never heard of such a realm in middle earth.’ ‘And that’s why my grandmother Gigi chose to live there.’ Enya grinned. ‘Very few know of its existence. It’s quite a small country, and safe too.’

Lies, of course. Oh well, it wasn’t like Bard knew she was telling lies. She just alternated… the truth. ‘Whoooooop guuuurlll!!!!’ her mind cheered. ‘We dodged that question with style!!!’ ‘When I found out about my ancestry, I went looking for my roots.’ She continued. ‘And I ended up in the company to reclaim their homeland.’ Bard nodded, seeming to find her story reasonable enough, at least for now. ‘Yes, I heard about this quest. You support their mission?’ ‘I think they’ve got a noble cause.’ Enya smiled. ‘But something tells me you don’t.’ ‘No, I don’t.’ Bard agreed. He tried to keep his facial expression clear, but there was a flicker of anger in his eyes. ‘I seem to be the only one in this cursed town who thinks straight and thinks Thorin Oakenshield cannot enter the mountain. I tried to reason with the master but he wouldn’t listen.’ He ruffled his fingers through his hair, clearly upset by the subject. ‘The master is only thinking about the wealth that lies beneath those rocks, but he won’t consider the safety of his people. The dwarves will awake the dragon, I’m certain of that… and then what, Enya Blueheart? No one will be able to stop that evil thing. You and your company will die trying, leaving Laketown vulnerable to bear the consequences of their greed.’ ‘This is not about greed!’ Enya countered fiercely. ‘Erebor is their home, it’s the place where they belong! They just want to live in peace, don’t be-’ ‘As do we.’ Bard interrupted her. ‘Everyone in this town has lost someone that day in Dale. We don’t want any more trouble.’

Her blood started to boil as she heard this complete stranger judge the dwarves she had grown to love. He was harsh. He didn’t know how much they suffered, how much they were longing for their home… ‘But he lost things too.’ Her mind mused. ‘I bet he dreads the fact that our little journey towards Erebor will more or less force him to take his grandfather’s place. He’s just terrified. Cut him some slack.’

‘I understand you, I really do.’ Enya said, exhaling slowly to keep herself from yelling. She was in his home, after all. She’d better suck it up. ‘But don’t be harsh, you shouldn’t underestimate the dwarven race. We found a way to kill Smaug without him leaving Erebor.’ Bard shook his head. ‘I doubt that. Smaug is said to be huge and terrifying. And you’re telling me there is a way, INSIDE the mountain, to deal with such a great fire-drake?’ Enya tilted her head and her lips curved into a smile. ‘I’m certain of it. And I promise you I will do my best to make sure Smaug doesn’t leave Erebor, unless chopped up in pieces.’

There was a short silence between them, as they both pondered about the discussion that just had taken place. ‘What kind of weapon other than a black arrow can pierce a dragon’s hide?’ Bard mused while drinking his ale. ‘Do tell me: what does Thorin Oakenshield possess that is THAT powerful?’ Enya smirked. ‘I can’t tell you. It’s confidential.’ ‘Oh come on!’ Bard laughed. ‘It’s not like I’m going to tell Smaug about it.’ She pursed her lips. ‘Nope. I’m not spilling the secrets here.’ Bard shrugged and held up his cup of ale. ‘Alright, if you won’t tell this poor man how you plan to kill that fire-drake, let’s make a toast instead. To our grandfathers. Our ancestry.’ ‘To success.’ Enya approved and the cups clanked as they clashed against each other. ‘Thank you for saving my life, Bard.’ Enya repeated. ‘I don’t know how I can ever repay you for that.’ ‘You don’t-’

‘Da, is she a REAL dwarf?’

Both Bard and Enya almost jumped from their seats as a little girl appeared next to her, viewing her meticulously. She had the same brown eyes as her father, but her hair was much lighter; a more dark blonde color. She wore a blue dress and held a few heavy blankets in her arms. A teddy bear peeked from under the folds. She couldn’t be older than ten and Enya found her adorable. Bard wasn’t as taken with his daughter as Enya was, and he heaved a sigh. ‘That’s impolite, Tilda. You cannot ask that.’ ‘It’s okay.’ Enya reassured him. Bard smiled apologetically. ‘This is my youngest daughter, Tilda. Tilda, this is Enya Blueheart, princess of the firebeards. She belongs to the company of Thorin Oakenshield.’ ‘But.. where is your beard? And why isn’t it fiery?’ Tilda inquired. ‘Da always says that ALL dwarves have beards!’ A giggle escaped Enya’s mouth when she saw Bard’s humiliated face. ‘I know. But thank god, beards don’t run in my family.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘That is a very good question.’ Enya replied as she stood up, ignoring the pain in her back. ‘I will ask my fellow dwarves when I see them again.’ ‘I really think you should rest, because-’ Bard began, but he was interrupted by his daughter. ‘Where are you going?’ she asked as she stared up at Enya. ‘You just arrived here! I brought you blankets! Can you please stay and tell me more about your family?’ Enya shook her head. ‘I’m sorry Tilda, but I really have to get going. I’ve got things to do.’ But Tilda wasn’t having any of it and folded her arms, a haughty demanding expression displayed on her face. ‘Will you get back?’ ‘I might.’ Enya answered. ‘I can’t promise you anything.’ ‘But I never talked to a princess before!’ Tilda sulked. ‘Well, you talked to her just now.’ Bard told his daughter while sending her a warning glare. ‘Miss Blueheart has to be somewhere else, she doesn’t have time to chat with you.’ ‘I’m sorry, da.’ Tilda murmured. Enya tilted her head. ‘You know what, Tilda? When Erebor will be restored to its’ former glory, you are a welcomed guest and then I’ll show you all of my dresses.’ The child beamed. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Alright, then that’s settled.’ Bard said and turned to Tilda. ‘Will you put the blankets upstairs again?’

As the child ran upstairs the bowman eyed Enya curiously. ‘Do you even own a dress?’ he asked. ‘No.’ Enya granted. ‘But I have no doubt I will, in the future.’ ‘Let me get you one.’ Bard offered. ‘I still don’t think it’s wise for you to leave right away, but if you must… please let me find you other…’ A frown appeared on his face. ‘clothes.’ ‘Thank you, but I think I’ll be fine.’ ‘No, you’re not.’ Bard pressed. ‘Your clothing is still soaked and you’ll get sick if you travel like this.’ Hm, she knew he was probably right. Her skinny jeans hadn’t recovered yet from her recent adventure, and she doubted that they ever would. She knitted her brows together as she tried to regain the events of the previous day. She knew she had been practicing her water skills at the docks. And then something interrupted her, disturbing her. Wounded her.

But what?

The room started to spin around her and Enya took a deep breath as she tried to steady herself again. ‘You’re probably right.’ she muttered. ‘That would be most kind of you-’ A gasp left her mouth as Bard broke her fall by catching her in his arms. ‘See?’ he told her. ‘You’re exhausted. You’re not going anywhere before you have something to eat and I’ve found you some decent clothing to keep you warm.’ ‘There’s no time…’ Enya spluttered. A grin rose on Bard’s face, his eyes sparkling. ‘You’re not gonna kill a dragon like this, miss… Patience is a virtue.’

Finding her way towards Erebor was easy. The dark-brown colored breeches that Bard had given her were a bit too big, but one of Bain’s belts prevented them sliding down from her hips. The loose grey shirt and a blue coat she had put on weren’t perfect either, but it worked. Bard hadn’t been keen on the idea that Enya would have to cross the town like this, and he insisted she should wear some sort of dress above her clothing. He told her that the climate in the town already was unstable and that the master wouldn’t be too happy to find out that there still were dwarves in his territory. On the other hand, Enya insisted that she was fine; she could handle any situation. For a moment it didn’t look like they were going to find a satisfying compromise, until Sigrid came in and turned out to be a very resourceful young lady. She had wrapped a skirt around Enya’s breeches to mimic the presence of a dress. Enya shivered as the cold wind howled against her. It was surprisingly cold around the mountain and she suddenly felt very grateful that Bard had insisted on her wearing some sort of dress. Although it made the process of climbing the slopes a bit more complicated (she never wore those things anyway), she luckily didn’t have to worry about getting sick. She groaned as she lifted her skirt for the hundredth time to conquer the hill towards the old overlook where the company was supposed to meet Gandalf. If they still were there…

During her visit at Bard’s she learned that he had been very kind to the others in the company by smuggling them into town and delivering them some weapons. She didn’t understand why the town master and his creepy deputy Alfrid had decided to scrutinize the poor man’s every move. Although he was wrong about the quest- he was generous man, loyal to his neighbors and a hard working widower. They probably didn’t like him because he was a sight to behold, and they were… well… ‘Butt-ugly.’ Her mind commented. She smiled as she remembered Bard’s goodbye words as they parted their ways on the docks.

‘I do hope you succeed, Enya Blueheart. If you should fail, I’ll promise you I’ll take my grandfather’s place on the wind lance and shoot the last black arrow.’

It was a generous promise, because he didn’t owe her anything. He had done more for her than needed. In fact, her female intuition told her that Bard had been a little bit too kind. Enya shrugged away the thought. A groan escaped her as she finally reached the overlook and found it to be empty. The dwarves were nowhere to be seen, and even Gandalf (who was known to be notoriously late) wasn’t there. Had they managed to get inside Erebor? Enya closed her eyes and tried to remember the outline of the map Thorin had carried with him. She wished she had paid more attention to the destination of the journey instead of the dwarven king’s gorgeous features.

Well, at least it wasn’t entirely her fault. She couldn’t help it that her one was excruciatingly beautiful. Even Dolvira had noticed, right?

She continued her path northeast, making sure to keep the ruins of Dale on her right hand. Apart from the wind, a deadly silence reigned the slopes of the mountain. Enya almost felt like the bull in the china shop. What if she accidently woke the dragon? ‘That’s impossible.’ She huffed. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re less loud than thirteen dwarves…’ Well, to be fair that actually depended highly on her mood. She could, in fact, be a lot louder (screaming and cursing came to mind) than the others. A smile went across her face when she remembered Fíli and Kíli’s faces when they learned she was able to swear like a sailor. They weren’t that shocked though, they mostly seemed impressed anyway. She bit her lip. The rascals even asked her to learn them a few. In turn she learned some Khuzdul swearing words that had left even Bifur shocked. ‘Gelek menu caragu rukhs’ she muttered with a smile. ‘No… No.. don’t go there.’ She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to focus on the task that laid before her. She had to pay attention now. The secret door was on one of the mountain slopes. She scanned the area around here. The fact that there was a door, meant that there had to be a way to access it somewhere, a stairwell… or…

She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth falling open in awe. A giant stone dwarf-soldier stood proudly against the mountain, carved directly from the mountain slope. It was magnificent in its own right, but once you looked closer… you could see the stairs carved in it. Enya gasped. Jesus, that was brilliant. Scary, but brilliant nevertheless.

‘I AIN’T CLIMBING THAT!’ her mind screamed. ‘I REFUSE! BLUEHEART, YOU’LL DIE IF YOU TRY!’

Enya heaved a sigh. So much for stunning self-confidence, eh? She walked up to the soldier and looked up. It was a pretty long distance to climb, and since she hated heights she probably should give the fire witch way of traveling a chance. She sat down on the rocks, making herself as comfortable as possible. She closed her eyes, focusing on the kilometers of earth stretching out beneath her feet. And all that she had to do was getting it to move upwards. She took a deep breath and smiled as there was something stirring under her. ‘Grow.’ She whispered. ‘Bring me to the platform I ought to be.’ The ground started shaking and she felt herself rising.

‘WE’RE GOING TO DIE!’ her mind howled. ‘STOP! STOP IT! OPEN YOUR EYES!’

Enya resisted the urge to do what her stupid inner voice suggested. There was no need to panic. She was totally safe, totally…

‘ENYA!!’ The voice of Dori happily greeting her reached her ears. The peeked through her eyelashes, and was relieved to see a platform. She quickly got on it and gave Dori a hug. ‘Glad to have you back again.’ He said with a big smile. ‘It’s a bad idea to try to kill a dragon without our fire witch…’ ‘You had instructions, Blueheart.’ Dwalin stood there watching her, his arms folded. ‘Well…’ she winked. ‘I’m bad at listening to my king anyway. I’m sure he’ll overlook the matter after he calms down.’ She looked around. ‘Where is he anyway? And where’s my favorite halfling?’ ‘Bilbo just went inside, but Thorin went in earlier.’ Balin replied, his face expressing genuine concern. ‘Are they both looking for the Arkenstone?’ Enya inquired. Dwalin shook his head. ‘No. Thorin went to the east wing, had to collect something before we go down.’ ‘But he’s gone for quite some time now, brother.’ Balin pressed, his tone worried. It seemed like they had been arguing about this subject for a while now. Dwalin gave his brother an ominous glare. ‘I still think we should go looking for him.’ Balin continued. ‘NO!’ Dwalin countered. ‘He told us explicitly not to follow him. He’ll be back. He’s our king and we should listen to him!’ ‘Which way?’ Enya mouthed at Balin while Dwalin continued yelling at him. The dwarf smiled at her and gestured with his head.

Turn right.

She nodded and slipped past Dwalin, through the secret door. She turned right and took a little sprint to make sure the dwarven warrior wouldn’t come after her to drag her back outside. Time to find her king.

‘Blueheart.’

She had wandered through the narrow corridors of Erebor for about twenty minutes when she heard his low voice calling her. It resonated through her body and evoked pleasant shivers that ran down her spine. She cocked a brow and turned around. ‘Oakenshield.’ He stood in the doorway of one of the many chambers in the hall, his arms leaning casually against the doorpost. The tension between them sparked and immediately became unbearable, the sparkles shooting between them almost visible to the naked eye. ‘Balin was concerned about you.’ She began. ‘He thought we should start looking for you.’ ‘I should have known that you would end up here anyway…’ Thorin grumbled, but his eyes twinkled as he spoke. ‘You never listen.’ ‘Mmm… You’re dodging my question, sir.’ Enya purred as her hands caressed his face, the coarse facial hair scratching her fingertips. ‘But alright... Does my presence here in Erebor make you mad?’ The dwarf king closed his eyes and sighed. ‘Yes. I want to protect you, I need you to be safe. And you won’t let me.’ Enya smiled and kissed him gently, earning a soft growl in return. ‘I was born to do this, Thorin.’ ‘I know.’ ‘And I can look after myself.’ ‘I know, but…’ His arms wound around her, pulling her closer to him. His lips brushed faintly over her cheek, finding their way to the pulse point under her ear. His breath tickled her neck and Enya’s brain, once again, stopped functioning. It was too easy for him to seduce her… Far too easy. ‘But what?’ she dared him, her voice sounding heavy with lust. She felt him smiling against her skin and she bit her lip. ‘But I want to take care of you.’ Thorin whispered in her ear. ‘You cannot deny me that.’ ‘I wouldn’t dare…’ she hummed softly against his lips. ‘Please take care of me.’ A low chuckle escaped his mouth, a faint smile opening up his face and his blue eyes already darkening with desire. He knew exactly what she meant, and it seemed that he had no problem with that at all. ‘Right here, my queen?’ A deep pink blush rose on her cheeks. ‘Yes.’

Thorin wasted no time and lifted her up, his arms sliding around her and his big sturdy hands covering her bottom. Their mouths clashed, hungrily taking in each other; like they had been apart for ages instead of twenty-four hours. Enya’s hands wandered over his torso, struggling to take off his heavy belt that held his clothing together. Thorin groaned and with one arm he steadied her against him, while leaving his other hand free to pull at the strings of her shirt. Enya pushed herself onto him, grinding against his hard length and Thorin hissed in response. They both gasped in surprise as the belt gave in and sprang open. It slipped down his body, landing on the floor with a loud clank.

‘Who gave you this clothing?’ Thorin inquired matter-of-factly, but the slightly tense undertone in his voice made Enya smile. Oh, she couldn’t help herself when he did the whole protective and jealous lover thing… It melted her heart. As if he ever would have to fear competition from others… Though it was really sweet to see how much he cared. ‘Bard.’ Enya replied, while kicking off one of her boots. ‘The bowman?’ the dwarven king muttered while knitting his brows together. ‘Oh Thorin, don’t be ridiculous!’ she giggled as she dropped the other boot on the floor. ‘I met him this morning in Laketown. He seems to be a nice guy.’ Thorin narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. Enya shook her head in disbelief. ‘Thorin…’ ‘As long as he doesn’t think you’re nice.’ He growled. ‘I will not-’ Enya put her lips on his before he could tell her the consequences the poor male would suffer for simply being kind to a future queen. ‘Are all dwarves this jealous and protective?’ she teased. ‘Yes.’ Thorin stated. ‘We are. And you’re no better.’ ‘No better?’ she countered. ‘Who says I’m-’ ‘Very.’ Thorin said in a low voice. A shiver went through her body and Enya bit her lip. He carried her into the room, towards a desk that stood in the corner of the room and put her on it. The dark-brown wood was cold against her bum and Enya was vaguely aware that the room must have been a private library once. The walls were covered with bookshelves and in the corner of her eye she saw a fireplace with a cozy chair, but.. At that moment she didn’t care where the fuck she was. Thorin was holding her and she needed him. She stripped him of his thick woolen vest and threw it in a corner. Her own blue coat followed seconds later. ‘And you… You stir things in me...’ He confessed while staring down at her, setting his hands on either of her sides. ‘Which makes thought of him eyeing you in ways he shouldn’t unbearable.’ His jaw was set in a harsh line, his lips pursed together, and his blue orbs were watching her fiercely. The red and blue undershirts he wore complimented him, the low V-necks revealing some bare skin and chest hair.

The sight was mouthwatering. Thank god her panties got lost hours ago, because with him looking like this, they would’ve come down on their own accord.

Enya couldn’t help herself and her hand traveled from his neck to his broad chest, her fingers unbuttoning the blue shirt. Thorin eyed her intently, his gaze fixed on her movements. She rucked the piece of clothing up and pulled it over his head. The red fabric followed the blue one on the floor shortly after. She bent forward and kissed him softly. Her nails trailed down over his abdomen, the muscles jolting under her touch. Thorin inhaled sharply as her hands went further down and cupped him through his breeches. A mischievous smile was displayed on her lips as she proceeded by undoing the laces and letting one her hand slip inside, stroking him slowly. Her other hand palm caressed his strong jaw, while her mouth left a pattern of kisses along his throat. Thorin’s head fell back and his lips formed a perfect ‘o’ shape when a moan escaped him. Enya dipped her tongue into his collarbone and trailed her way up to his jawbone. Thorin buckled his hips in response, pressing himself further in her hands. ‘Mesmerizing vixen!’ He hissed as his mouth searched for hers again. ‘Let me-’

He grasped her with force, but was alarmed when she whimpered in pain. ‘Are you alright?’ Thorin asked and he loosened his grip on her, careful not to strain her further. ‘Did I hurt you, uzfakuh?’ ‘No, not you. It happened… earlier.’ She said absent-mindedly as she gnawed on her bottom lip. His bared chest was very alluring to her, making the simple task of forming words difficult. Or remember the vague pain in her back. All she wanted was to go back to kissing his muscles, the scars, the… ‘Do enlighten me on this subject.’ he interrupted her train of thoughts. ‘Oh…’ Enya replied. ‘I hurt my back when I took a tumble from the docks into the water. That’s why I got other clothes…’ Thorin heaved a sigh while eyeing his queen with a soft smile. ‘And I thought you would be safe in Laketown…’ Enya laughed. ‘I told you- you’d better keep me close.’ ‘Perhaps I should...’ Thorin whispered, his breath tickling her face. Enya licked her lips in anticipation as he leaned in slightly, their lips almost touching. The air around them was so loaded, so strained, it made her head spin. He’d called her intoxicating many times before, but she was certain he himself was more tempting than she ever had been. ‘Let me do the work...’ He grumbled against her mouth. ‘You take it easy here.’ ‘You know that’s not in my nature…’ she hummed. ‘I’m not gonna take it laying down, if that’s what you mean.’ Her mouth curved into a smile. ‘In fact, I remember something you said about me being allowed to torment you once we’d be in Erebor…’ Thorin chuckled, lifted her up and on the other side of the room he lowered her on a soft rug before the fireplace. Enya moved her hand and five flames shot from her palms, ready to devour the carefully stacked logs that had lain there for… ages. Thorin hovered over her, his lips ghosting over her collarbone and making their way south in an antagonizing slow pace. His coarse beard caused her skin to burn slightly and his kisses left a tingly sensation. Enya’s cheeks reddened, her breathing changing rapidly. ‘I said that?’ he purred. ‘I don’t recall…’ ‘That damp prison wall we almost made love against…’ Enya blurted out. ‘Almost, yes…’ Thorin agreed. ‘But I think we caught up with that a few days later, don’t you?’ ‘Aye.’ She replied, as her mind went back to the long night in Laketown. Especially that round in which he had her pinned against the wall, slamming his hips against hers… The mere thought was enough to make her legs turn into jelly again. It had been perfect, he was simply perfect. She could’ve died a happy dwarrow that night…

Her thoughts stranded as Thorin pushed her shirt up, pulling it over her head and dropping it carelessly on the floor. His fingers loosened the skirt around her hips, stripping the cloth off. He undid her belt and slid her breeches down her body. He then kicked his own boots off and got rid of his trousers. ‘You’re so beautiful…’ he murmured while his hands traveled over her bared skin. ‘Mine.’ Enya groaned and their mouths met in a passionate kiss again, tongues swirling around each other. Her hands raked through his hair, tugging on the braids, her fingers memorizing the beads tied in it. Thorin broke the kiss but went on by caressing her face and leaving small bitemarks in her neck. His tongue journeyed south and dragged over her chest, flicking over both nipples before sucking on the sensitive skin. Her eyes rolled back when she felt his thick hand shoving between her thighs, parting her folds. One finger entered her while his thumb grazed her clit. A soft hiss escaped her mouth. ‘Fuck!’ Thorin sat up and with his free hand he lifted her right leg. Enya cried out as he kissed her foot and worked his way up; his beard deliciously scraping over her skin and leaving her with a slightly burning sensation. It was too much pleasure; his one hand still working her up and his mouth coming closer and closer towards her heated core… Her legs started to shiver in anticipation.

Oh god.

His hand pulled away from her, and her body arched up involuntary. Thorin chuckled and the low sound vibrated against her thighs, leaving her aching for his touch even more. ‘Oh god.’ She murmured softly. ‘Please..’ He leaned forward, placing featherlight kisses between her legs. She whined as the world stopped spinning, every nerve in her body focusing on the movements of his mouth. She cried out in agony as the tip of his tongue slipped briefly over her clit, the feeling leaving her begging for more. Thorin groaned softly as his hands moved under her ass, his fingers digging in the flesh of her buttocks. Enya bit back another moan as she felt him moving between her thighs, his beard setting the sensitive skin on fire. That damned beard was an absolute turn-on, a- Her breath hitched when his tongue lazily dragged over her entirely, swirling back to flick over her sensitive nub. Her fingers tangled into the rug beneath her, desperately seeking something to cling unto. Her teeth sunk in her lower lip as she gave in to all the remarkable pleasure he was giving her. Boy, he never stopped to amaze her. He knew exactly how to work her up and then to cool her down just enough to get her all crazy in seconds again. Her mind briefly wondered how he had become such a- She lost track of her thoughts when Thorin purred against her, the sound against her setting her off. Her body started shivering and Enya knew she wouldn’t survive long. Of course, she wanted more, in fact she wanted him to stay between her thighs forever, but she also wanted to last. And her treacherous body.. it would come undone far too soon for her liking, it had proven her that before.

‘Thorin, I NEED you!’ she demanded. ‘NOW!’

With ease, he pulled her on top of him. ‘Your pace. Ride me.’ He rasped as his fingers trailed over the curving of her hips. ‘Take me, my queen.’ ‘Your wish is my command.’ She breathed in his ear. ‘Alas I changed my mind… YOU can easily wait a little longer…’ ‘Cheater.’ Thorin husked while delivering a sharp smack to her ass. Enya shot up, her mouth opened wide in shock and her cheeks burning bright. ‘Excuse me sir!’ she exclaimed. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Thorin cocked a brow, arrogance all written over his face. ‘You asked for it.’ ‘Did I?’ With a smile she placed soft kisses on his neck, traveling down to his chest. She swirled her tongue over his nipples and playfully tugged on them with her teeth, earning a loud groan from him. Then she trailed further down south, her hands massaging his abdomen and her tongue delving over his hipbone. She then took his thick shaft in her hand and swirl her tongue over the head. ‘Enya...’ Thorin panted, his blue eyes wide open as he was watching her movements. Enya smiled coquettishly, her gaze burning though his while she took him in her mouth. Thorin made a strangled noise and his head fell back against the rug. The warm light of the fire brushed over his skin, making him even more irresistible. Enya went down on him, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked him hard. She flicked her tongue over the head, and her hands traveled just further down to caress his balls. A harsh, Khuzdul word left him and the sound echoed through the room. Enya smirked, feeling quite certain she was well on her way to drive him as insane as he had done to her before.

But it was not enough. They craved each other, the feeling of being united once again. She straddled his lap, lowering herself just enough to touch him. Her breath hitched as she grinded herself against him, the friction causing sparks of pleasure through her body. Thorin moaned, his hands gripping her hips and kneading the soft flesh. Their eyes connected as she allowed him to enter, his girth deliciously stretching her. Her eyes fell shut as she took in the feeling of him being entirely inside her. It was a powerful and addictive sensation, satisfying but then always leaving her hungry for more. She never knew she was even capable of being insatiable like this, but then she met Thorin, who’d easily complied with her wishes for hours… there were no limits. She never had wanted someone this badly, but he was her aphrodisiac, her life.

Thorin huffed, his hips surging forward and his fingers digging into her hips. ‘My pace.’ She growled while lifting herself up and eyeing down fiercely. A dirty smile crossed his lips, his eyes displaying pure desire. ‘I’m yours.’ He agreed. ‘Take me.’ Enya bent down and their mouth crashed. Her hips surged forward, making them both moan into the kiss.

Oh, she liked this, having all the control… Her view was absolutely stunning, her breathtaking king laying under her. She knew it wasn’t easy for him to let go, which made the meaning of their lovemaking so much more intense. A token of trust, of his love for her. She threw her head up when her hips found a circular rhythm that made him stroke the sweet spot inside of her.

It was all too much, and at the same time too little. She watched Thorin under her, his face displaying nothing but sheer pleasure. His eyes were darkened. Over his chest laid a thin layer of sweat, which made him even more desirable. She wanted to tell him how much she cared, how much she loved his stubborn and majestic ass, but her brain short-circuited and left her as a panting, sputtering mess. Thorin lurched up, taking her into his arms as she still rode him. The gesture was intimate, sexy as hell. And his eyes... she couldn’t bear to look into them, or to look away. He was intense, blazingly hot. She needed him more than life itself. ‘Mahal, Enya…’ he panted, his lips brushing over hers. ‘Ah!’ ‘Thorin!’ she moaned, rocking back and forth against him. He was incredibly close, she could feel him getting more rigid with every second. His breath hitched, coming in unsteady pants and fanning her ear. Waves of pleasure surged through her and every move of her hips took her higher. Her heart pounded in her chest, her vision became blurred. She was standing on the edge, she needed to… Thorin groaned and his mouth crashed on hers, they hopelessly clung onto each other while both seeking their impending release.

‘Enya, ghivashel!’ The sound of Thorin’s low voice in her ear, speaking in the language of their kin… It was enough to send her over the edge. Her nails dug into his back as she realized she had crossed the point of no return. She cried out as her orgasm peaked and took hold of her, shattering her body and numbing all of her other senses. Thorin stirred. A harsh growl left him as his own pleasure cracked; his shaft pulsated as he spilled his seed inside her.

He laid on his back and nuzzled her against his chest as they circled back to each other. ‘I wish we could stay like this forever.’ Enya whispered. Thorin smiled and caressed her hair. ‘I know.’ ‘How does it feel?’ she asked softly. ‘Being home again?’ ‘I can’t wait to show you everything’ Thorin confessed. ‘It’s confusing ... For a second I allowed myself to believe that it was alright. There was no dragon, just us... risking to be caught in my father’s study.’ Enya giggled and kissed his jawline, his beard tickling on her lips. ‘Now that would be something…’ Thorin smirked. ‘He’d probably kill us both if he found out.’ There was a short silence between them wherein they let their thoughts wander. ‘I’m sorry.’ Enya muttered. ‘For everything you’ve been through. I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass sometimes.’ ‘Sometimes?!’ Thorin countered while biting his lip in an vain attempt not to laugh. ‘Would you imply that I’m always difficult?’ Enya sniggered and she moved her fingers to tickle his sides. Thorin burst into laughter and it was the most beautiful thing she heard. He didn’t laugh often, and she enjoyed the sound of his baritone voice vibrating through his chest. It was a warm sound, comforting and tempting at the same time. ‘Yes… you are.’ He breathed. ‘But you’re also incredibly sweet, kindhearted, witty and the most beautiful dwarrow I’ve ever seen. Every male envies me.’ He caught her gaze, a stunning smile displayed on his lips. ‘You match my temper, Blueheart. That’s good.’ He cleared his throat. ‘As for me, I owe you an apology. The way I acted towards you during the journey was unforgivable.’ ‘Hey’ she said. ‘I would have made myself very clear if you were really crossing hard boundaries. I understand you weren’t all too happy that I destroyed your self-control while you needed all of your strength to focus on the quest.’ ‘I kept insisting you were doing everything wrong. I wanted to keep myself sane, but you were so… alluring. Even when you... breathe.’ ‘Don’t worry.’ Enya smiled. ‘I understood your tirades as: you’re devilishly charming and I want you but I can’t lose my shit.’ Thorin chuckled. ‘Lose my shit...’ ‘I do have unusual ways of expressing myself.’ Enya admitted, biting back a giggle. ‘I assume I have to adjust my vocabulary once I become queen?’ ‘Perhaps.’ Thorin mused. ‘Although I wouldn’t mind watching you shock a few annoying and tedious nobles with your language.’ Enya grinned, picturing the scene in her head. ‘We have to go back.’ Thorin told her, his voice sounding full of regret. ‘Yes…’ Enya agreed as she sat up straight and grabbed her shirt. She threw it over her head and shot him a playful glance. ‘Now let’s go kill that dragon...’

[fraddit]

My recent experience with depression, anxiety, and ADHD

I figured I would make a post about this, because I know that at least a few of my mutuals are dealing with some or all of these things themselves and might find this helpful.  Who knows?  Very long, very personal, but mostly positive post under the cut.  Like, really, more information than you probably ever wanted to know about me and my problems.  Proceed, if you feel so inclined.

First, a brief history, for context.  Throughout elementary and high school, I consistently scored in the 99th percentile on standardized tests.  Then, I almost flunked out of high school, barely got my diploma, took a year off, and started art school college for an animation English degree.  I was going to write novels.  After a year or two of that, I decided I could write without a degree, so I dropped out.  What followed was a decade of several strangely varied and unrelated jobs and no novel writing. Working a stable corporate gig while not accomplishing (or even pursuing) any of my personal creative goals was DESTROYING MY SOUL.  So, I quit my job to become a full-time student and finish my degree, because at least that was kind of in the same universe as actually being creative.  And now, a year or two later, here I am, 32 and a few semesters away from finally finishing that English degree.  Clearly brains won’t get you everywhere kids.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7 and was on some form of medication until sometime in high school, when I decided I didn’t want to take it anymore, for reasons I won’t bother getting into.  It never occurred to me to even consider medication again until this semester, when everything fell apart.

ADHD can impact a person in a multitude of ways.  For me, the biggest impact is probably executive function issues.  I can wander through the garden of my ideas all day long.  I cannot make myself sit down and do work, no matter how much I may want to.  For personal goals, that means a literal solid decade of zero accomplishment.  For school, that means procrastinating papers until the night before or morning of or sometimes even two weeks late, on the night before the professor has to turn in their grades.  And the level of personal effort it took to make myself write that two-week-late paper was herculean in measure, when it really should not have been.

I’ve since learned that many professionals suspect this very common procrastination habit of ADHD folks is actually a kind of self-medicating by way of adrenaline via stress response.  Which sounds entirely plausible to me, because every semester since I’ve been back at school, I’ve found myself pushing the risky boundaries of procrastination further and further, like a drug addict needing a higher dose to get a fix.  A very unsustainable and unhappy process all around.

Which brings me to this semester, when the wheels finally fell off the car, and one of the campus psychologists found me crying on a bench outside the counseling center because they were closed for lunch and meetings, and I didn’t know where else to go.  I couldn’t do any of my homework, was crying every day, and having panic attacks.  To put it simply, I was a fucking mess.

I made more appointments at the counseling center, I spoke with my professors about what I was going through (hello more panic attacks), and for the first time in over a decade, I remembered that there are medications I should maybe try, and I made an appointment to see the psychiatrist at the campus medical clinic.  (Also, guys, if any of you are students, look into your campus resources.  There’s support for everything at my school.  There’s even an office that’s only there to help guide students to all the other support options.  Seriously, mental health, child care, food, housing, you name it.  Get the help you need.)

When I explained everything I had been going through, the very nice psychiatrist at the clinic told me, with an unsettling degree of alarm in her voice, that I was “deeply depressed”. Which, I knew, but she really sounded shockingly concerned.  And it’s like, jeeze, I maybe didn’t realize just how bad things had gotten, because I was just living with this shit every day, so it was kind of ‘normal’ for me.

Anyway, she agreed to start me on meds for my ADHD.  The one I’ve been taking is called Vyvanse.  I started on the lowest dose and have been gradually increasing.  A month in, I’m at a dose where I can clearly tell a difference, and it’s having a noticeable impact.  I wrote a meta yesterday.  I was thinking the thoughts, and just sat down and wrote it.  This morning, I got up and wrote some more, just notes for future things to do, but I did it.  Fuck, I’m writing this fucking thing right now.

I thought that maybe I should write this shit out, and it took a little while sitting and getting my momentum going, but now I’ve written 800 1300 1650 words.  And I’m sitting here actually crying as I type this paragraph, because this small little thing is like the biggest fucking thing in my life.

I don’t have any way to accurately explain what a big deal it is for me to have actively decided to write something and then to have actually actively produced content of my own volition and design, that wasn’t assigned to me and didn’t have a due date or a grade attached.  And, that I’ve done it repeatedly now…

OVER TEN YEARS.  Over ten years I went, writing almost nothing. Might as well have been zero words. Guys, I’ve been walking around with a trilogy of speculative fiction novels in my head for over ten years, I’ve been planning another unrelated novel for the last two.  I’ve been planning something like 30 fanfics, across two fandoms, and another 20 metas for the past year.  Part of me probably assumed feared that none of that would ever see the light of day. But now, it suddenly feels like maybe I’ll actually manage to write some of it.  And I’m hoping like fuck that it’s not just a fluke.

Now, the ADHD meds aren’t the only thing I’ve been doing to contribute to this ‘good place’ I’m in currently.  I’ve been going to counseling.  Apparently, I have a lot of negative feelings about myself and my inability to accomplish jack shit for a whole decade.  Who would’ve guessed?  I also have weekly sessions with the disabilities accessibility team at my university to work on external methods for dealing with my executive function issues. (Again, if you’re a student, utilize your university resources.  You’re already paying for them with tuition.)  And, this is obviously not an option for everyone, but even before I started the ADHD meds, I took advantage of the fact that I live in a state where certain botanical products are easily and legally available and found a brand of gummies that really help with my anxiety and panic attacks.  (They’re high cbd, low thc, so calming and don’t make you high.)

So far, the meds aren’t 100% sunshine and rainbows.  With the dose I’m at right now, where I’ve been Getting Things Done, I can actively feel the drug, which is… not the greatest.  I feel jittery, vaguely anxious, like I’ve drank way too much coffee but worse.  And, the decreased appetite is something I really have to be vigilant about, because I don’t have any room to lose weight.  These were both known possible side effects of stimulant meds, so I wasn’t surprised, and perhaps the doctor and I will be able to fine tune the dosing or try another med or something.  But right now, I think I’m really leaning toward, I’ll put up with the side effects, because holy shit, I can finally actually do what I want to do.  Also, I think (and Nice Doctor Lady thinks) the new higher dose is having a positive, stabilizing impact on my mood.

I guess my reason for writing all of this, other than pure catharsis, is to say, if you’re dealing with shit like this, try to be willing to consider all your options.  For whatever reason, I didn’t think about trying medication for my condition.  It wasn’t even like I was anti-meds or something.  I just didn’t even think about it.  Not until a few months back, when I sent a random ask to an ADHD blog on here, asking how they managed to make themselves write, and they responded with I had to get medication.  Suddenly, it was like… why have I not been considering this option?  So, this story is for anyone else out there that maybe also hadn’t thought to consider this option.

And really, not just the medication.  I’m a hide behind walls, overly independent, do things on my own, never ask for help sort of person.  But, I guess I finally reached a level of desperation where I was like, Clearly, doing this by myself, my way, has not gotten me the results I want.  So, fuck it, I’m going to ask for help from every professional available to me.  Which, I’m very lucky, and currently have ready access to multiple resources in a way not everyone does, but being open to getting this much assistance is very new territory for me.

I’m not really sure how best to wrap this up.  If anyone actually read all of this, I’m astonished and… Hi, I guess?  You really know quite a bit about me now.  Hopefully, I haven’t scared anyone off.  And, if anybody has further questions about any of this or you want to talk about your own issues, I’m sincerely available for that. I think the world we live in today makes it too easy to feel completely alone, even when you’re surrounded by people, and I’m here for chats, if you need it.

[winjennster]

Hi! (This got LONG- I'll have to send in parts.Hope that’s OK!) So, this is an unfair question to ask you, but I really wanted to get an opinion from a fellow American and respected fan author. Since you're a NYer and touched on the subject in PA, I felt if I was going to ask an author it should be you. I'm sure you know where this trainwreck is going. For a few years now, this story touching on 9/11 has been marinating in my head. There. I know. It sounds awful and insensitive and exploitative.

Pt.2 The last thing I want is to use a national tragedy as a ploy for kudos. Many fic readers now weren’t born when the attacks happened or were too young to remember. I know it isn’t my job to shove history down readers throats- if someone really wanted to learn about it, they’d look it up. But at the same time, I’ve seen people in SPN fandom reblog *deep sigh* 9/11 memes. And I just want to grab them and shake them. I thought ‘If 1 person read this and learned/felt something that’d be great.’

Pt.3 I’ve learned a lot through fic myself. I’ve been ok with letting this live in my head. Too soon, too soon is what I always think. Writing an actual novel with OCs centered around 9/11 is one thing. But a fanfic? Jeez. If it wasn’t myself wanting to write this, I’d be disgusted at the idea. Heck, I was outraged with the gift shop in the museum on Ground Zero. I made up my mind something this real has NO place in fic world. The problem is, a few weeks ago I sat down and wrote a little preface

Pt.4 Mistake. Now this REALLY won’t leave me alone. It’s gotten to the point where I have nightmares. I’m at such a moral crossroads. I’ve searched through Ao3 for fics dealing with this and found a few. In my opinion, they weren’t respectable at all. To be clear, my story would not be MCD. Of course, I’d tag appropriately and include trigger warnings. The second someone expressed distaste I’d remove it. It could take years to write who knows. Might never see the light of day.

Pt.5 I just really need an opinion about this. I’m destroying myself with it and had to get it out. I apologize for sending this on anon, but I am very uncomfortable with my name being attached to this right now. THANK YOU for reading all this and if it skeeves you out, please feel free to ignore it! Lord knows I've skeeved myself out enough.

First of all, all of my most humble of apologies for taking so damn long to answer. I’ve been on the road and haven’t had time. 

Secondly - WRITE THE THING

We deal with things through fic (at least I do) and yes, it’s been more than long enough. I’d be happy to read a well researched 9/11 fic. I think if it’s demanding to be written, then fucking write it. Go for it! Do the thing!!!

Also? For the record, it’s not just fanfic. John Winchester’s Journal discusses 9/11. John theorized there were demons involved and even touched on potential issues with the numerology. 

I’m sure there are people who will disagree with me, but I do feel enough time has passed. Write, baby. Write.