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roanofarcc · 7 months ago

Text

THE ONE

pairing. alive!reader x trevor lefkowitz

summary. (requested) It would have been fun if you would’ve been the one.”

warnings. g!n reader, mentions of death, feelings of unrequited love, not proof read

word count. 3.3k || masterlist

The boredom of the mansion was quelled the second a new guest arrived to check into the B&B. Trevor shot up from his spot on the couch and followed the group of ghosts out of the living to the front desk where Sam and Jay stood, happily conversing with the guest. For a moment, Trevor was excited to see what the guest looked like; as a ghost, he had to take what he could get. His love life had fallen to shambles and the only thrill he got anymore was ogling attractive guests as they arrived.

However, when the guest had turned around for a moment to pick up their duffle bag from the floor, Trevor felt a quick flood of emotions enter his body. He stopped short of the desk with his throat suddenly dry and hands clammy.

“Are you in the area for business or a little vacation?” Sam asked, making her usual small talk.

You pushed the duffle bag over your shoulder and cleared your throat. “Uh, neither.” Your voice was different than Trevor remembered, older and a little deeper than it had been, which made sense. You were older but still the same height you were in high school. Maturity was written across your features, but he still saw the remnants of your youth that he had once memorized.

Maybe he was dreaming. He had dreamed of you before, both before and after he died. In college, he had thought about calling you every time your birthday rolled around or when one of his friends said something funny that he knew would’ve made you laugh. But every time he chickened out, figuring you still hated him. Instead, he saw you in his dreams like some embarrassing rom-com where you came back together when you were a little older and he was less of an idiot. Then he died and he dreamed of all of the things he would have done differently if he had a redo button. But he genuinely thought he’d never see you again. When you hadn’t come to the memorial his parents put on for him, he knew his dreams were pointless. His parents hadn’t even mentioned you, meaning you were probably well moved on and married or something.

“This might sound weird,” you continued, smiling sheepishly. “But you actually held a memorial for my…friend a couple of months ago. Trevor Lefkowitz.” The ghosts all snapped their heads in his direction but all Trevor could get himself to do was stare at you. Something about the way you hesitated before calling him your friend made his stomach ache.

Sam’s eyes widened as she looked at Trevor too for a moment. “O-Oh! Yes. We did. Trevor. You knew him?”

“Yeah and I wanted to come but I thought it would’ve been weird. I wasn’t close with him when he died. We were friends when we were kids. But the more I thought about it, the worse I felt about not coming. So I figured I’d pay my respects. That and when I visited his parents they wouldn’t stop talking about this place.”

He snapped out of his daze and stepped forward, standing beside Jay and getting a better look at you. He felt bad about it, but the first thing he did was look at your left hand. You didn’t wear any rings and while he knew it was so stupid, he felt relieved.

“Sam,” Trevor said quickly. “You gotta talk to them. Please.” He couldn’t hide the desperation in his voice.

Sam obliged with a nod of her head that was directed at him. “If you would like to, after you get settled in, you could tell us about him. Trevor. I mean, after we got his parents' side of who he was, Jay and I have been interested in what he was like to his friends.”

Jay furrowed his brows. “We have?” Sam shot him a look that he understood right away. “Ohhh. Yeah, we have. For sure.”

You thought about it for a moment, fiddling with a room key in your hand. “That would be nice,” you said.

“No pants wants you to talk to them?” Jay said after they all were gathered in the kitchen, waiting for you to finish getting settled into your room. Jay worked on making lunch while Sam put on the kettle for tea. Trevor sat at the table feeling too many things at once. It was one thing seeing his parents. They were his parents and they loved him no matter his screw-ups. But you were under no obligation to forgive him. In fact, he figured you’d be mad at him forever and he’d spend life and death regretting his choices. Yet, you wanted to talk to some stranger about him?

Sam sighed, taking the seat across from him. “Yes,” she replied to Jay. “For a childhood friend, you don’t look too happy to see them.”

“No, that’s not it,” Trevor said, sinking into his chair. “I messed things up with them, big time, before I left for college. I don’t know why they’d want to pay their respects to me after all these years.”

It wasn’t too often he garnered looks of sympathy from Sam or the ghosts. The only other time was when his parents came and he learned he was a child of divorce. All he wanted to do was hug his mom, but he couldn’t and he felt like a little kid lost in a grocery store. Alberta hugged him instead, which was not quite the same but close enough.

“What’d you do?” Sasappis asked.

It was more about what Trevor didn’t do. He didn’t tell you he reciprocated your feelings after you confessed the night before you both moved away to different colleges. At the time he didn’t want to be held back by his hometown; he wanted a fresh start to be someone else. It was stupid in hindsight because he didn’t change that much in college, he learned to like the person he was, quirks and all. And he didn’t realize that you didn’t hold him back, you made him better. But by the time he figured all of that out, he heard you had some boyfriend and moved across the country. He missed his chance and figured you hated him.

“Hi.” You poked your head into the kitchen and Trevor sank down further into the chair. He felt guilty, hot and festering in his veins even though there was no blood in his body.

Sam turned around in her chair. “Hey. Take a seat. Jay, can you pour the tea?”

With a nod, Jay made the tea while you took the seat beside Sam as you observed the kitchen, unaware it was occupied by a series of curious ghosts and Trevor.

“So, you still talk to Trevor’s parents?” Sam got right to it, a bit too eagerly. “Because you heard about the memorial from them,” she clarified.

You thanked Jay as he sat down your mug. “Yeah. I didn’t for a while, not until I heard that he died. They called me, tracked down my number and everything. I was surprised. Trevor and I hadn’t talked since the night before we both left for college.”

“Oh,” said Sam. “Did you guys have a falling out or something?”

“Yeah, of sorts. We were dumb kids and said some things we didn’t mean. At least, I did. I’d like to think that he did too but I didn’t get the chance to ask him.”

Trevor tried to ignore the burning gazes of his friends but it was impossible; they wanted to know every little detail, that much was clear on their faces. Even Sam and Jay looked engrossed in your words, curious to know more.

“Well? Did you?” Hetty asked, nudging Trevor’s shoulder.

“Of course I did. I was a dumb kid, like they said.” He let you walk out of his life and tried to convince himself it was better that way.

“The truth is,” you continued. “I thought I knew him better than anyone. We grew up together and he was my best friend. But maybe I didn’t.”

Trevor felt like was going to cry; it was awful and pathetic. He was the one who walked away and thought a couple of weeks would pass by and you two would be able to pretend like your conversation had never happened. But it never did and he was too stubborn to reach out. Then weeks turned into years and you grew up while he regretted letting you go.

“Best friends at age are tricky, especially when you’re leaving for college. I know one of my best friends and I got into this weird fight before we left for college. I was scared she was going to find a new best friend. And she did,” Sam laughed uncomfortably at the memory.

You smiled kindly at Sam’s rambling. “I was scared he was going to fall in love with someone at college before I got the chance to tell him I loved him. But I wished I would’ve kept it to myself. Then I at least we would’ve stayed friends.”

A couple of gasps sounded from behind him and Sam’s eyes widened as they flickered between him and you. “Y-You loved Trevor?”

A sad smile pulled on your lips as you held onto your steaming mug of tea tighter. “Yeah. And after I told him he said he wanted a fresh start in college. A blank slate. Not a partner. He didn’t like me that way and I overreacted, walked away, and avoided him for a while. He never reached out; I figured he found what he was looking for in college.”

He buried his head in his hands and stifled a groan.

Sam hesitated before continuing. “That’s… terrible.”

“It was all so stupid in hindsight. I always thought about reaching out, just to check in. The night he died I even dialed his number that I found in the phonebook. I was going to call but decided against it. Then two weeks later his parents called me to tell me he died and I couldn’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if I had called. He was here, he wasn’t even home so it wouldn’t have changed anything but I…I don’t know.” You nervously played with the button on your shirt, looking at anything but Sam and Jay. “Sorry. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I don’t even know you and it’s not like you knew Trevor. It’s just...I haven’t talked about him to anyone. I’d feel bad bringing any of this up to his parents. And being here…I don’t know.”

“Don’t apologize! His parents said the same thing when they were here. I guess if you believe in spirits maybe…maybe his is still here. But that’s…crazy.” Sam was a bad liar but she was lucky her ability to see ghosts was so insane no one would think she’d be lying about that.

You hummed, taking a sip of tea. “That’s a nice thought.”

Trevor wanted to talk to you; he wanted you to see him more than he was sure he wanted anything “Oh, man,” he groaned loudly. “I should have called. I should have-” Pete placed a hand on his shoulder, looking down at him sadly. He wanted to curl into himself and disappear.

“I’m sure he felt the same way. He probably wanted to reach out too,” Sam offered in an attempt to make you feel better.

Jay nodded. “Oh, yeah. Trust me, I was a dude in college once. There was not much going on up here.” He tapped on his forehead.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. Trevor wished he could tell you for certain that he had been an idiot and he regretted it still. He loved you back, he just didn’t realize it until you were out of his life. What if he had said so that night? Would he still be alive? Would you two have been married? There were a million different outcomes of his life that played through his head at a dizzying rate. “This is probably weird for you guys, learning so much about some guy you didn’t know but died in your house.”

Sam and Jay exchanged a look. “You know, it’s almost like we did know him.”

You ate lunch and didn’t bring up Trevor again, neither did Sam and Jay despite the buzzing questions the other ghosts spit out at you and Sam. It wasn’t until you left that Trevor felt like answering them.

“Oh boy,” Jay whistled. “That was rough, no pants. How’s he doing?”

“Bad. Obviously bad!” Trevor said.

“Bad,” Sam repeated to Jay.

“Well, I mean, what’s his side of the story?” Everyone turned to Trevor, but Sam answered before he got the chance.

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say he realized he felt the same way after they stopped talking, right?”

Trevor huffed. “How’d you know?”

“It’s written all over your face, honey,” Alberta said.

“And he never told them?” Jay asked.

“I thought about it,” Trevor signed. “A lot, but I thought I lost my chance. And now they’re here and I still can’t tell them the truth.” He wanted to tell you, not to have it translated through Sam. And there was a slim chance you’d believe her anyway. Believing in ghosts was one thing, but trying to convince someone that not only were ghosts real but the ghost of an old friend who was actually in love with you was in front of them was a whole other thing.

Sam frowned. “He thought about it but figured he missed his chance,” she told Jay.

“Man, this sucks,” Jay replied.

“You could knock over vase again,” Thorfinn suggested. “Maybe they fall downstairs and die or see us like Sam.”

“No!” Sam was quick to shoot down that idea. “There will be no murder attempts, guys.”

“There’s gotta be another way for no pants to confess his feelings without someone else dying in our house. Seriously, that’s a lawsuit we do not have money to pay for,” said Jay.

“You know what’s romantic?” Isaac began. “Letters.”

A gasp fell from Hetty’s lips as she tugged on Isaac’s arm excitedly. “Yes! Have Sam pen a letter.”

“You could say everything you wanted to them without having to first convince them ghosts are real,” Sass added. “It could work.”

“That’s a great idea!” Sam said, earning a confused look from Jay. “I’m going to write them a letter from Trevor telling them about his feelings.”

Jay nodded, impressed. “That could work. But how are you going to explain to them why you have the letter?”

“Just tell them Trevor’s parents found it and brought it to the memorial thinking they were going to show up,” Alberta said. “Say they forgot it and you held onto it for some reason.”

Sam explained that to Jay before she rushed off to find a pen and paper. Trevor nervously tried to gather his thoughts. It was a lot of pressure, putting everything out on a piece of paper, but he had to do it for both himself and you. He couldn’t go another moment without you knowing that he did reciprocate your feelings and that you were the only person who knew him so well. He needed you to know how much you meant to him and how he regretted letting you walk away in the first place. He should have chased after you the second the realization hit him like a truck. He should have shown up at your dorm like he imagined himself doing a hundred times over until he talked himself out of it.

After Sam returned she and Trevor were left alone. He spilled his guts. Every regret, everything he didn’t say, she wrote down. He admitted to loving you too but being too much of a coward to admit it after he let you go. He told you how he missed you but he wanted you to be happy; that was all he had ever really wanted. And for a while, when it was just the two of you in high school, that was what he tried to do. He didn’t know why he thought stopping was the right move, but he couldn’t take it back. All he could give you was the letter of his feelings. He hoped it was enough to bring you both closure.

After it was written, Sam went upstairs to deliver it. She knocked on your door and sucked in a deep breath before it was swung open. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you said.

“I found something that belongs to you.” Sam held out the letter and you took it with an odd look. “I forgot about it until a little bit ago. Trevor’s parents brought this letter with them to the memorial, but they left it here and I, well I’m not sure why, but I kept it. And when you were telling us about Trevor, I remembered I had shoved it in a drawer. Super weird, I know, but it’s all yours.”

You flipped over the envelope to see your name scrawled across the front. Sam awkwardly lingered in the doorway for a moment before she realized you weren’t going to open it with her standing there. She let you be and returned downstairs to a nervous Trevor pacing back and forth across the kitchen.

“Did you give it to them?” he asked, chewing on his nails.

“Yeah, I think they’re reading it now.”

You didn’t come out of your room for a while and Trevor wondered if you’d even read it at all. He guessed he couldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t. In your head, he was someone else, some asshole who didn’t even call you on your birthday, so you didn’t call him when his rolled around a couple weeks later. Maybe you had saved face for Sam and Jay and deep down you really hated him. Maybe you threw the letter away and were busy packing your bags.

But then you showed up, eyes rimmed red, and clear tears streaked down your cheeks. Trevor didn’t know if he was relieved or worried.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, abandoning her cutting board on the counter where she was helping Jay with dinner.

You smiled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “Yeah. I just wanted to say thank you for this.” You held up the letter.

Sam sent a small smile in Trevor’s direction before she ushered you into one of the kitchen chairs. “Dinner’s still cooking but while you wait, how about a chocolate chip cookie?”

Your eyes widened slightly before your brows furrowed. “Chocolate chip? Those are my favorite.”

“Oh, what a coincidence,” she said, looking once more at Trevor who stood in relief mixed with something else that was warm but nice inside his chest. He knew they were your favorite, which is why he told Sam to make them. He still remembered most things about you.

And now you knew how he felt after all that time. You knew that he didn’t forget about you. In life and death, there would always be a soft spot he had for you and dreams of what could have been but never was. At least now you knew he had loved you and he regretted not owning up to his feelings; he hoped that gave you some kind of closure. He hadn’t been much for spilling his feelings when he was alive, but death had changed him a little and he didn’t want you to go the rest of your life thinking your feelings about him had been misplaced and unreciprocated. You knew the truth and you seemed at peace with it.

Pete appeared beside him, clapping him on the shoulder gently. “You okay?”

Trevor nodded. “Yeah. I think I am now.” And he hoped you were too and that you’d continue to be until you were old and gray, living your life out to the fullest.

#cbs ghosts #trevor lefkowitz #trevor lefkowitz x reader #trevor lefkowitz x you #cbs ghosts fanfiction #sam arondekar #jay arondekar #hetty woodstone #sasappis #isaac higgintoot #alberta haynes #pete martino #thorfinn #flower montero

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