#jay halstead incorrect quotes

[stelacole]

chicago pd incorrect quotes

Jay: grinning mischievously "What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?" Sav: deadpan, staring at Jay in disbelief "Don't ever speak to me again." Jay: laughing, clearly enjoying her reaction "What? Mozzarella's a great name!" Sav: shaking her head, sighing dramatically "I can’t believe I just heard that. My brain is shutting down." Steffy: from the background, chuckling "I think my baby Sav is about to file a noise complaint on you, Jayjay." Jay: laughing harder "I’m just saying, Mozzarella sounds like the kind of princess who knows her way around a pizza oven." Sav: groaning, hands over her face "I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that."

[lineartists23]

Adam: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Jay: The car takes a screenshot.

Hank: For the last time, get the fuck out.

[kasinonightlife]

Hank: Nadia, you'll be working with Lindsay and Halstead.

Nadia: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Intelligence: *Blank stares*

Nadia: ... Of people on a team.

[xwilltruman]

chicago one as things i tweeted (p2)

[gregorygerwitz]

Jay: Do you know what I do when I get stuck on a case?

Will: Eat a jelly donut and plant evidence?

[pleasantpuppytimemachine]

[inside-district21]

[Family AU]

Alvin: We’re having a baby.

Jay, confused: Oh, congrat-

Voight, slamming down adoption papers: It’s you, sign here.

[weird-kid-maxx]

*The group is getting into the car* Jay: I’m driving. Adam, out of view: Shotgun! Kim, turning to face Adam: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Adam: WOAH- Adam, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

[crazybagelbitch]

Jay: I feel funny.

Mouse: You hit your head, that’s why. You have a concussion.

Jay: No, I mean I’m hilarious.

[vroomvroommuppett]

very proud of this one

[sylvies-chen]

Jay: I thought you said you were going to have cereal

Hailey: I changed my mind, what’s the big deal? I don’t feel like cereal, god, just lay off!

Jay: *holds back a smirk* you couldn’t reach the bowls in the cupboard, could you

Hailey: ... no I could not.

[lineartists23]

Jay: I made tea.

Antonio: I don’t want tea.

Jay: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Antonio: Then why are you telling me?

Jay: It is a conversation starter.

Antonio: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Jay: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

[kasinonightlife]

Nadia: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Jay: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kim: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Erin: *Cocks gun* Magic missile.

Hank: What the fuck is wrong with you people...

[incorrectlinstead1]

Jay: Kevin, my old arch enemy.

Erin: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?

Jay: I have a life outside of you, Erin.

[crotisforeverbaby]

Jay: I arrested my brother once.

Hailey: You did not!

Jay: Honest to God. I gave him a speeding ticket.

Hailey: You knew it was his car and you pulled him over anyway?

Jay: No, I was right there in the passenger seat.

Hailey: Get out!

Jay: He was doing 45 in a 30.

[madhare0512]

Incorrect Chaos Crew

brought to you by @existential-bisis

Kidnapper, negotiating: We have Firefighter Casey! Give us $10,000 and he will be returned to you unharmed!

Casey: Woah woah wait, you think I’m only worth 10,000?

Kidnapper: Wait what-

Casey, grabbing the megaphone: MAKE IT 50

Jay, outside: MATT SHUT UP

BONUS:

Kelly at the same time: Make them pay, babe!