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Eddie, Hen, and Buck are sitting on a bench

Chim: Why do you guys look so sad?

Eddie: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Chim sits down*

Hen: The bench is freshly painted.

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Buck: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?

Chim: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Buck:

Buck: *sobs*

Eddie: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

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Hen: You're right.

Buck: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Cruz: If you had to choose between Severide and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Casey: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Severide: Casey!

Cruz: 63 cents.

Casey: I'll take the money.

Severide: Casey!!!

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Bobby: I regret giving you that blender.

Buck: *drinking a sandwich* why?

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Jay: I made tea.

Antonio: I don’t want tea.

Jay: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Antonio: Then why are you telling me?

Jay: It is a conversation starter.

Antonio: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Jay: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

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Hen: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Eddie: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

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*Adam and Jay are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Adam: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Jay, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

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Buck: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Eddie: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Chim: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Buck: Good thinking.

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Hank: Christmas is cancelled.

Adam: You can't cancel a holiday.

Hank: Keep it up, Adam, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Adam: What does that mean?

Hank: Al, take New Year's away from Adam.

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Bobby: I think we're missing something.

Eddie: Teamwork?

Hen: Cohesion?

Buck: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Jay: Shit.

Antonio: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Hailey: OH MY GOD ADAM FELL OFF!!!

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Bobby, about Eddie: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Buck: Are we stealing them?

Chim: New or used?

Hen: Wonderful responses, both of you.

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Adam: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Jay: The car takes a screenshot.

Hank: For the last time, get the fuck out.

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Bobby: Good morning.

Eddie: Good morning.

Hen: Good morning.

Chim: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Buck: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

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Trudy: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Jay: *turning to Kevin* How tall are you?

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Mav: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Mav and Goose, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Slider: Our turn, Ice! One, two, three- vanilla!

Ice, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.