#jay bleu rant

[jaybleu25]

someone just commented on one of my posts saying that mario is 40 and peach is 18

i want to cry in a corner

[alifeasvivid]

hey those watch tags are actually really informative, thanks sonder!! do you have any fun watch facts? i know so little but i find all this stuff fascinating o(^▽^)o

well the history of watches is extremely long and varied so >.> how about a glossary of sorts... and a bit of impassioned ranting... and perhaps the key to my heart? XD

movement (noun) - when you hear someone refer to the "movement" of a watch, they are refering to the "engine" of it, the parts on the inside that make it function.

The two most common types (as in nearly every watch) of movements are

quartz - any watch which uses a battery or solar capacitor (except for smart watches) is a quartz movement watch

mechanical - manual wind pocket watches came first, then wrist watches. When you see steampunk stuff with lots of gears, that's what these movements are like. They do not have batteries or any power source. They are wound by hand (usually in the morning and at night) and the gears inside are then propelled by the kinetic energy until it runs out.

MOST mechanical watches now are "automatic" or self-winding and they have a rotor inside that swings when the watch is moved, thus keeping it fully wound by the motion of the wearer's wrist.

dial - this is where the hands and markers are. On a clock, this is call the "face" on a watch, it is called the "dial." Many watch dials are black. So it’s called a black dial, capiche?

crystal - the "crystal" of a watch is the flat clear thing that covers the dial. Regardless of what it is made out of, it is called "the crystal." Typically, these are made out of mineral glass, though nearly all high end watch crystals are made of sapphire (same substance as the gem).

Neither of these can be polished. If they are scratched, they can only be replaced.

Most watch parts are not made "in house." For example, Fossil does not make their own movements. Neither does Tag Heuer or Cartier (depending on the watch). It's common and accepted. Swiss movements are considered superior to Japanese movements.

Among watch makers and techs (and in some cases, collectors) watches are judged based on their movements rather than their outer appearance and brands that make their own movements are viewed more highly (in general).

The top three luxury brands (who do all make their own movements and yes they are gorgeous you can google it)

Patek Philippe (Americans will butcher this almost every time... so it's Pah-TEK Phil-EEP and say it with a snooty French accent ;P)

Audemars Piguet (Same with this one. Anglicized it's AH-deh-mar Peh-jay)

Rolex (I think you guys probably know this one)

Yes. They are incredibly, stupidly, mind breakingly expensive. Yes. They are incredibly, stupidly, mind breakingly well-made and beautiful.

And no, Rolex is not overrated. This is a dumb edgy boy take, it makes you sound stupid, don't say it.

One of the best swiss watch brands out there is Omega. Do with that information what you will.

If you want me to love you forever and ever amen, you can buy me a $6600 40mm stainless steel Cartier Ballon Bleu, automatic movement, stainless steel bracelet. BEHOLD... my beloved:

And just one more thing I want to say for now. Tag Heuer. Americans. It is pronounced TAG HOYER. Not Tahg. TAG. Not Hore, Hewer, Hooer, or Herr. Don't say those, you'll sound silly. and Tissot is pronounced Tissoh not Tiss-ott. You're welcome XD

[neelimasadanand]

What Is Up With Me

A year since medication began. And in its wonderful and weird ways, the universe has brought more mental health soldiers into my life this past year than ever before. And if there’s one of thing I’m more sure of now than ever - it’s the sheer power of being in an environment that shows you empathy. A few interactions I’ve had and a few I’ve watched my mutual have, push me to say this upfront – if you’ve been a part of my life and you have only ever seen my pixie level energy and my smiles and my love – know that this doesn’t mean I couldn’t come to you with my issues. In fact, it means you’re a constant source of happy to my pixie heart. And that Neelima is very real. She’s just not all there is in this tiny person.

I’ve been diagnosed with chronic anxiety and depression with dissociative tendencies. Now I wish I could condense what that means about me as a person but I’m still figuring out my patterns, so just stay with my while I blabber, yes?

I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. And it happened between 4th-6th grade by the hands of a trusted family member. So I had no idea what had happened. My first exposure to mental health disorders was as a psychology student in 1st year college. This means between primary school and college, I went from not knowing something had happened, it had affected my personality and that I had developed coping mechanisms; to suddenly having my jigsaw pieces put into place. Unfortunately, I have faced harassment and sexual assault in multiple degrees, at multiple ages and in various places held ‘pure’ in my naïve mind post primary school as well. But I’d formed a default resilience to it so I never really did anything about any of it. So this and the resulting dramatic, bad relationships and stupid decisions is maybe broadly why I’ve come to be a patient of these disorders.

As time passed since school, I had visual reminders of the abuse. They’d pop up randomly and not in the right order. Just flashes of things happening. It’d be followed by confusion and anger that physically caused my head to ache. Kid me turned to the one thing she loves the most – music. I would put on earphones, listen to music and picture something completely different. And it always worked. Whether it was being angry through Chester and hurting through Cobain, Cornell and the works or partying with 50 Cent and Jay-Z or picturing my crush and I in a Signal Fire song :P This soon turned into my method of coping with pretty much anything drastic that happened. After a couple of years, I’m not sure when, I didn’t need the music to be able to do this anymore. Sit in one place, function in that place but have my mind operating elsewhere so I could block out my abuse or my anxiety.

With age, the lack of addressing my abuse caught up to me. From small panic attacks to full blown rage for reasons I could and couldn’t justify – a whole flurry of patterns began. And for the longest time I spoke to nobody about it. I’d have attacks in the hostel rooms, office loos, outside a gig, in the middle of a party – and I either choked on it or I distracted myself till I could ‘schedule’ a breakdown. When I say attack – it’s either uncontrollable crying or uncontrollable rage as a reaction to the thoughts my mind was throwing. While being able to control it and suppress it to that extent was a good thing back then, around 2 years back I lost my ability to do that. Neither could I control when I’d be triggered nor could I control my reactions. And the happy visual reels I’d put my mind in began to fall apart too. I caught myself not being able to control where they go and how bad they get and the more anxious I got – the line between what I was seeing in my head and how I was behaving started to blur. So there it is. A 24-year-old who can go out, do her job, meet her loved ones and be there for them – for whom the bad days meant vividly reliving her abuse while being wide awake, hallucinating in the middle of 300 people or just plain nightmares that made her feel like she couldn’t get up again.

I’m not sure if it was this lack of control over my once great coping mechanism or just all of the ‘not dealing with’ that has sprouted 3 distinct energies that are a part of me but the fact is – I’m in a place where I can call them my friends now. I could’ve just said voices in my head but too cliché no? So Ms. Question Mark, Ms. Bleu and Ms. Extra.

Ms. QM has been quite the jackass over the last 3-4 years. Convincing me that everything I say or do (sometimes even while I’m saying or doing things) is mediocre or somehow painting me as a fool. She refuses to go anywhere without her “I’m not good enough’ cap. It’s like waking up one day and everyone you ever knew is now on a higher pedestal than you, better in every way and deserving of company better than yours. She had me petrified of asking superiors at work for clarification, afraid of hanging out with my best friends and also sabotage perfectly fine dates. It’s like being on red alert with your guards up not knowing if there IS a problem but being sure that there CAN be one. Fun, real fun. She also does prove useful when the lady I will next speak of isn’t around – in making sure I’m more careful of surroundings, in picking up every cue in a room, in marking human red flags (yet I do not claim to not run after them, I am but a W.I.P.)

Then there’s Ms. Bleu. Who just shows up uninvited and you’ll never know if she’s leaving till she does. She brings along a general lack of affinity towards anything and everything I would usually enjoy, takes away all my motivation to take care of myself, keeps replaying the worst moments of my life and makes me feel like I’ve been running for weeks despite barely having gotten out of bed. She’s been a part of me for so long that my mind is now programmed to processing emotions late and not as and when the cause takes place. The most recent example would be crying over whether I’d make a good life partner – what with the maniac that I am, a week after my wedding so that I could finally feel joy about having met the gem that I have.

So one lady that makes me as good as a fused tube light and another that is a special-ops analytics team for absolutely no reason – you see how they make the most ironic team? One side keeps saying “are you sure it’s okay to do this?” and the other says “It doesn’t matter coz you don’t matter” for every third task of the day. Having anxiety and depression is being audience to a daily ping-pong match in your head, where you wait for the ball to be misplaced. Guilt, shame, self-loathing – ah the perfect sad song.

But there’s also the third lady who pops up every once in a while, and I quite like her - Extra. She makes me feel good and beautiful and energetic but also brings with her the risk of the ‘too much”. Drinking too much, taking too many impulsive decisions and recently - shopping for a whole load of shit I don’t need. Going overboard with meeting people and then not knowing where all my energy went. But I’ll take her over the other two any day.

So this is what is up with me. Any given day of the week, I’ll be handling one of the three while going about the rest of my life. The real assignment starts with my next rant about how I’ve gotten to make peace with these energies and am currently taking my life back, bit by bit. But till then – HEY! I’m Neelima Sadanand and I deal with all of this and if you are too – I’m here for you in whatever capacity the universe allows :)

[jaybleu25]

whoever created apa format for essays i dont like you

[jaybleu25]

just finished the last game in the "to the moon" series

ow

[jaybleu25]

ive had to focus on so much uni work that i have been unable to think of video ideas for like a month straight help

[jaybleu25]

does anyone else need tone indicators when talking to people online or no

i genuinely have a hard time telling what's a joke and what isn't sometimes; like when people jokingly insult or something i take it seriously and then i end up being upset for the rest of the day

[jaybleu25]

headcanon time with the bros!!

in their senior year of high school, the bros started getting little stubbles because they were finally able to start having mustaches. mario just shaved his at first, but luigi wanted to let his grow out since he thought maybe having a mustache would show people that he's cool.

however, it had the opposite effect, with people at school calling him weird or a freak; they weren't used to seeing something like that.

devastated, luigi went home and was about to shave it, but then mario confronted luigi about it, asking what was wrong. the moment he found out what happened, he was furious. at the same time, he came up with a plan.

a little while after, one day, the bros both showed up to school together with mustaches, shocking everyone and causing the torment towards luigi to stop.

[jaybleu25]

is there any reason why some lights look more yellow and others look kinda blue or no

i noticed it going down different streets growing up and it always confused me because houses with yellowish lights always looked more welcoming but ones with blueish lights seemed creepy

[jaybleu25]

the urge to write another high school bros related story even though not that many people care about those qwq

[jaybleu25]

Before I start the question, I gotta say, I’ve been a big fan ever since I saw your Never Have I Ever vidéo. As for the question, I want to know what would happen if your AU’s Mimi fell in love? My friend says that would be a scary thought considering how Mr. L’s death drove her to throw Luigi off a cliff.

I'm glad you've stuck around since then! I've been a bit worried recently that people don't like my more recent stuff as much as my older stuff, so hearing that gives me a bit of relief qwq

As for Mimi having a love interest, I don't think she necessarily had feelings like that towards Mr. L. I kind of made them to sort of be "best friends" during the time they got to know each other while both were minions of Bleck. In my AU, Mr. L "came to be" after Luigi was brainwashed by Nastasia, forgetting all of his memories he had as "Luigi" so that Nastasia could make him the "perfect minion/soldier" for Bleck. He was essentially a blank slate at first; his old clothes were gotten rid of by Nastasia so he wouldn't remember anything if he looked at them (except his socks since they didn't have any spares at first), so he wore all white. He forgot how to do basic things and what anything was, so Nastasia had to reteach him, but now with a different context.

When Mimi heard there was a new member who seemingly didn't know anything and was learning how to be a minion, she took this as an opportunity (and so did Dimentio and O'Chunks once they also realized). She took Mr. L without Nastasia knowing, and Mimi started interacting with Mr. L herself. She thought if she did this, maybe she'd be able to make a proper friend; one that liked what she liked. One that understood her. She felt like the odd one out at times. Dimentio was weird and annoying to her, sometimes taking her diary to mess with her, Nastasia was too serious all the time, and O'Chunks...was O'Chunks. With how different L was compared to everyone else, she thought she finally had a chance to properly have a bond with someone.

With how much time Mr. L was around Mimi (and Dimentio and O'Chunks) instead of Nastasia, he began to pick up on things. He started acting like them, doing things they liked. Mimi made Mr. L's outfit for him, thinking it would make him the "best and 2nd most fashionable minion" (Mimi considered herself the most fashionable with all of her outfits).

Being around the other minions made Mr. L go from being dull and serious with no emotion to being a bit more chaotic, more fun, and more confident. Much to Nastasia's dismay, who wanted Mr. L to be more serious so that he'd be able to stop the "heroes" without his emotions getting in the way.

The minions only really had each other as "friends". Nobody else really liked them. And because of that, even though they weren't really together for very long (especially Mr. L, who only got to be around for a few days to a few weeks until he was "removed" by Dimentio), they still became very close because they were all each other had. That's why Mr. L meant so much to Mimi. He was the only person out of everyone in the group that actually spent time with her and knew about her.

When Luigi came into the picture, seemingly "taking L's place", Mimi was furious. She avoided him, thinking that he had no right being in control of L's body (a belief headspace Mr. L also shared). Luigi didn't remember anything about Mimi or the others. The only things Luigi knew were from stories Mario and Peach would sometimes tell him (but even then, they still hid a few things at the time because they didn't want to remember the bad parts). It didn't help that after the events of SPM, Mimi ended up getting separated from Nastasia and O'Chunks, being lost and alone for a long period of time. That loneliness made her miss Mr. L even more, with her eventually not being able to take it anymore and trying to get rid of Luigi for good. She thought that maybe "getting rid of" Luigi would bring Mr. L back.

Then the Flicker stuff happened, where she learned that Luigi and headspace Mr. L shared the same "health"/hp (to clarify, headspace L and actual L are different; normal Mr. L is Luigi, and headspace Mr. L is what Luigi sort of imagined him to be like in his head while also being a representation of Luigi's more negative thoughts and feelings). She realized then and there that when she tried getting rid of Luigi, she almost got rid of Mr. L too. It was the final thing that solidified the fact that Luigi and Mr. L were in fact the same person.

Now that Luigi remembers everything from when he was Mr. L, including his feelings towards the other minions and how they used to be a sort of "family" to him...he doesn't know how to feel about them anymore. He knows that they treated him better when he was Mr. L (except Dimentio obviously), but when he was Luigi, his real self, they didn't like him very much. This gave Luigi mixed feelings. He's still in the process of figuring these feelings out, and because of that, he's avoiding them. Mimi being banned from the kingdom helps him do that, but knowing that, it means that if Luigi ultimately decides that he still does care about them, then he'll have to seek Mimi and the others himself. It'll have to be his choice. But even then, who knows how that'll go? Will Mimi and the others be able to accept that he's the real Mr. L? That he now remembers everything? Only time will tell.

[jaybleu25]

important message to you all (mainly youtube viewers):

[jaybleu25]

do you guys ever feel a certain way to the point where you just can't focus on doing a task even though you're supposed to have it done by a deadline

[jaybleu25]

heard it was bisexual visibility day, wanted to share a story from when i was 12

so back then, i was still kind of figuring myself out. i had crushes on both guys and girls (and at the time i had a crush on a girl who was an online friend of mine), and after learning about bisexuality, i thought "oh, maybe that's what i am".

then my younger brother found out about it, and he didn't seem to mind all that much. but then he decided to tell our parents (who fyi, are 'those' kinds of religious people who don't like lgbtq+ people)

when my parents found out, they called me downstairs to talk with them, and they had a long talk with me about how "being gay is wrong and against the bible", and that if i liked the same gender that i would go to the bad place (don't feel comfy saying the word but you can probably guess)

ever since then, i've kind of been scared of having crushes since i'm scared my parents will hate me. and because of that fear, i just...have not had a crush in ages. the last time i had a genuine crush on someone was near the end of elementary school (6th grade for me).

the thing that confuses me the most though is that one of the main things in christianity is that you should "treat others the way you want to be treated", and that "only God can judge you" and that God loves all of his children no matter their flaws or who they are. but my parents and a lot of 'christian' people seem to ignore those things and are so hateful to people just for existing

i've done whatever i can to not be like my parents. i try to treat everyone with kindness, if people are being mean then i just try to avoid them, etc. it doesn't matter to me what someone's religion is or who they like. as long as you're nice to me or a decent human being, you're good in my book.

i'm still in the process of figuring myself out. i don't really know what i am, and me not having any crushes for years doesn't really help with that. i could still be bi and the feelings are just hidden away from me; i don't really know for sure.

either way, even if i don't know what i am, i want to make sure my blog (and my channel) are safe spaces for everyone, and that everyone feels respected and loved no matter who they are or what they do. i want to give people the love and safety that i never got to have

long story short, keep being you, and don't let other people keep you down. happy bisexual visibility day/month <3

[jaybleu25]

just saying: i feel like more people should make art of the more rare friend duos in mario, like luigi & peach or mario & daisy; they're such good friendships and i barely see anyone talking about them or anything

i see stuff about it, but it's super rare

[jaybleu25]

had a few weird/creepy things happen last night (and before i get into it, i'm okay, just a bit freaked out qwq)

so first thing: yesterday i had the car to be able to drive to uni since my parents were going to a concert. after classes were done for the day (i finish on wednesdays at 8 pm), i went to a parking structure to get back to the car.

as i was getting my keys out of my backpack though, a white truck came nearby and parked close by, and two people came out of it dressed completely in black; black pants, black garbage bags over their torso, and a black mask or something that covered their head completely. they ran towards me while laughing, running around while i kept trying to get my keys out of my bag frantically (because, again, this is happening at 8 pm and it's super dark so this is terrifying). then they ran back to their truck, and immediately drove away. i finally got the keys and got in my car, and when i looked out the back window and saw them driving away, i saw it was two girls. no clue what they were doing, but it scared me qwq

second but minor thing, there was a two-way street that i was on to get out of my uni, and there were two cars in the other lane going the other direction. but at one point, the car behind the other car all of a sudden started trying to get in my lane. they were driving towards me. kinda like this (yes this was drawn in ms paint):

then, the last thing that happened last night. i finally get home, and as i was getting into my driveway, i saw a person standing near a nearby yield sign and staring directly at me. and since it was super dark, i couldn't make them out, so i could only make out a figure. but then, i realize that it's wednesday, meaning it's garbage day where i live, so i have to bring in the garbage bin into the garage. i go out there to get the garbage bin, and i look where the person was standing, and they're gone. but then it gets worse. as i'm pulling the garbage bin into the garage, i see them coming back, this time towards my direction. i started freaking out, hurrying to put the garbage bin in the garage. then i closed the garage and rushed inside.

so anyway, tl;dr, 8-9 pm was really scary for me last night qwq