#jaw deformity
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Eventually, I will get my facial cranial surgery to fix my fucked up jaw. I’m so excited to not be in pain anymore, but I’m not ready for it.
I just got use to my ugly face and I’m not ready to have my jaw fixed. I’m not ready for people to switch up and decide I’m suddenly beautiful because my facial deformity is gone.
Why couldn’t I just be seen as beautiful before too?
Why am I always seen as undesirable and hideous to the point of dehumanizing mockery?
Why do people give me pitying looks when they try to pretend I’m pretty for a moment?
Can’t I still be loved if I’m not beautiful?
I’m so tired.
#jaw deformity#personal#personal vent#vent post#facial cranial surgery#tmj disorder#other unspecified disorders#disability#disabled#i want to be pretty
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I need funding to make a rubella themed slasher block buster bc I Guarantee a fuck ton of vaccine hesitancy can be defeated the same way it was created: by bold faced lying for monetary gain
#like the virus in the movie will be called rubella and it will be explicitly stated that falling vaccination rates caused the mutation#from a virus that causes significant limb and organ deformities to a virus that cause chest burster meat humunculi#we can prevent the next generation of antivaxers by traumatizing them as children the same way Jaws made shark fears a major#conservation concern#we can even find a way to make it pg13 so it gets to them early when the brain is still squishy and deciding what they'll be scared of#for the rest of their lives
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i think the right side of my jaw is slowly disocating with each passing day because it keeps popping and now it hurts when it pops in a very specific area
Oh mine does that too. Ywah probably maybe
Or you have dental problems
Do you clench or grind your teeth at all
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Artwork belongs to: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/RottenTerror/
Once again, this was commissioned by me and was posted with permission!
#furry#horrorfurry#splatterhouse#fox#furry character#furry roleplay#horror#horror roleplay#blood#anthro#furry art#resident evil#transformation#scary#deformed#multiple jaws
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I swear I’m gonna get to asks and messages soon but I’m trying to fix my sleep schedule after a rough week of hypersomnia and it is ✨not working✨ lmfaoooooo
#u guys are asking really awesome things and I wanna be more awake to respond#otherwise it’s just gonna be incoherent brain soup 😭#apple babble 🍎#I have to be up at 7am and it’s 2am and I’m not happy about it LOL#I’d take valerian root but last time I had a dream abt a naked lady with a deformed jaw clawing at a cabinet until her fingers were bone????#so I am probably N o t going to do that I don’t think ahahaHAHA#tho I might make a digital dream journal someday bc I legit never have any normal dreams ever like#they’re always SUPER vivid and straight up horror#but anyfrick#gonna try to sleep now byeeeeee#✨🌸✨
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lmfao I forgot I paid for a whole syringe of lip filler in August so I’m getting the other half for free today basically 🤍 slay
#for those new here I had a facial deformity since birth and I got it fixed last March#I had double jaw surgery and had to get lip fillers to correct it basically lol#it’s all good now
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I dont really know what I sound like anymore because I used to try really hard to have no accent because I wanted to sound smarter but then I realized that was mean and I have lived here my whole life and some of the people I cherish the most have a strong southern accent so I just started getting a little bit more of a drawl. Except I had already trained myself to not talk like that, yet because I grew up in the south I could mimic a southern accent like it was nothing so I think I might have ended up with some weird kind of hybrid accent that doesn't sound quite like either but also sounds like both.
Cause I have had people not from the South sometimes immediately guess that I have a southern accent, or they can tell I have an accent but can't immediately tell where from
And then I've had multiple southern people in the state that I live in ask me "where's that accent from?" And I just say "uhhh here. Like 30 minutes down the road actually."
And I can't tell what they are hearing because half the time the people asking me don't even have an accent and the times I recall hearing it I was living in one of the bigger cities and then in a college town, both places you are more likely to find people who dont sound southern, so that makes me feel like I do have some kind of noticable way of speaking that sounds different enough to ask me where I'm from but it is decidedly not Southern lmfao
#tbh I think the fact that I have a deep voice and a deformed jaw affects the way that I make sounds#combined with a very slight lisp i think also? which i tend to unconsciously compensate for by pronouncing certain words weird#but i am dying to kow what other people think i sound like
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blep
#Eyes#Horror#Pen sketch#Pen drawing#Wolf#Deformed#Tongue eyes#Eyes on tongue#Yes that's what those are#Traditional art#Traditional sketch#Pen#Ripped jaw#Long tongue#new artist on tumblr#New artist#traditional pen drawing#Hatching#Tags are a pain
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I'm guessing the itchy spot has some kind of real-world analog, but I'm not a biologist.
It's an antler pedicle.
Because they're on her jaw a lot of people refer to them as her tusks, but the structure is wildly different. Readers keep asking me if she could file them down, but a growing antler has skin over it, a large blood supply with lots of veins, and an unmineralized tip. It would be like trying to trying to file down your elbow. Cutting off the growing tip may halt growth, but, it would be very bloody and there's a chance it would continue to grow anyways in a deformed shape. For centaurs, even the mature, bare antler has a central blood supply down most of its length.
#runaway to the stars#jaytext#rtts centaurs#tusks grow from the root and are completely mineralized at the tip so generally filing is fine#same with other continuously growing teeth in animals that are worn down through use#but antlers grow from the tip ao that's where the blood supply is
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Do you have any tips for drawing noses? Sorry this is out of nowhere but I'm wanting to improve on my art, specifically the faces, and it's always the nose I find myself struggling most with.
I really struggle w making it fit the face if that makes sense? Every time I try to add it it just throws the whole face off, especially the eyes, not to mention how to make different nose types and the angles </33
I love your art style so bad, it's so smooth and satisfying to look at and the way you draw noses like it's nbd (and anatomy in general like damn) baffles me so I was just wondering if you maybe had any tricks or not, Ty either way for sharing your art in the first place <33
@extravagav Well I can try! First off thank you very much, I often feel like I still have a very long way to go in regards to proportions and anatomy so I really appreciate your kind words <3
Hokay, so, noses. I do love noses. To start off when it comes to drawing noses I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you the most annoying advice in the world which is just to practice a lot. Find a lot of pictures of noses in a bunch of different shapes from a bunch of different angles and just draw them until your brain melts out of your ears. Pay particular attention though to the nose as a 3D object!
It's of course trickier to do than I'm making it out to be but the more you practice at imagining the nose as a 3d physical form the easier it becomes to make a nose model in your mind that you can rotate like a microwave.
This is my personal very very basic understanding of the nose's construction:
it's like three circles and a taco shell.
Okay so now that you've got a basic understanding of the nose's construction, how to put it in the middle of the god-dang face??
So the funky thing about noses is that they tend to change shape the least out of all our facial features when we're making expressions. Our eyes change shape, our mouths move, our eyebrows, our cheeks, our jaws, they all go all over the place. the nose, however, tends to be pretty stationary and doesn't deform much (save in one important way I'll get to later). So because of all this, and here's my biggest piece of advice when it comes to making the nose fit in the face, I like to draw the nose first! I do a very loose head construction, draw the nose, and then sort of "hang" the rest of the features off of it:
Two very different expressions, same nose!
Now when it comes to noses interacting specifically with the eyes the greatest thing to remember is that the part of the nose that sits between the eyes sticks out farther than you might think, and will likely be obscuring one of them, the extent of which depending a lot on the angle and how pronounced the nose bridge is.
for someone with a pretty flat nose bridge you'll be able to see most of the eye except in a more extreme angle, while someone with a protruding ridge might obscure the eye entirely. but the nose will likely be interacting with at least one eye if we're not facing the character head on. Really making your brain think in 3d is gonna most helpful here.
Finally! The nose being expressive! So the main way the nose plays in to expression is by wrinkling. the muscles that pull up your top lip and the muscles that pull down the middle of your forehead are almost all connected to the nose, so the nose tends to develop a lot of wrinkles whenever brows are furrowed or teeth are bared.
Adding those wrinkles can add a lot of impact in the expression! And not just angry ones neither:
Sooooooooooooooo yeah! noses! They're weird and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and they can do a lot to add character to a face and they can also make you want to tear your hair out in big clumps! I'm still learning myself when it comes to noses (and most other things) and I'm faaaar from a master at it, but I hope I've been able to provide at least a little bit of help. If you do use my advice going forward please let me know! Good luck!!!!! (And here's all my nose "headcanons" for the strawhats. The ones who actually have human noses, anyway):
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i love when artists explicitly write/draw eddie and steve with very noticeable, maybe even deforming scars. i love when they dont fail to mention the repercussions the things they've been through have left on their bodies. because yes, we talk a lot about ptsd and horrible nightmares and all the psychoemotional issues, but we should totally talk more about the physical side of it.
eddie with a scar on his jaw that tugs when he smiles and aches after a long effusive rant. having to use mobility aides like a crutch or a walking stick because the muscles on his leg never fully recovered and the scars on his abdomen hurt if he tries to tighten his core too hard.
steve with awful migranes and early onset hearing loss and complex vision problems and slight trouble breathing because his head/face got fucked up one too many times. the scars on his back that got infected because no one gave them notice, that are now scars that twinge when he moves his arms and hurt after a day of running around with the kids. the scars on his abdomen that restrict his range of motion. that raspiness in his voice that never went away after a bat tried to crush his windpipe.
i don't know where i'm going with this i just... we constantly recognize their heroic deeds, but i think it's also important to remember that they are not heroes. they are just teenagers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. they were doomed by the narrative, literally cannon fodder, and their bodies tell the history of that, and of how they're still here despite it all.
#and before you come for me I KNOW EDDIE IS DEAD#i Know#same as i know that canon will probably never give any character actual sequelae despite getting injured so many times#but i am talking about fanon and fandom perception here#where eddie is miraculously not dead and steve is more than a plot device#steddie
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Maroon (part six)
modern!Aemond Targaryen x f!reader
themes/warnings: angst, depiction of trauma/injury, mutual pining, language, avoidant Aemond
word count: 3.9k
series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist
The Dragonstone ball came and went. Aemond and the reader are no closer to reconciling. Aemond's personal battles threaten to get the best of him, and there is only one person he thinks of turning to.
Aemond had begun to severely dislike his weekends.
His stomach churns as he lies motionless under the sterile white hospital lights, feeling more like a lab experiment than a person. The surgeon, a man who face Aemond could now recognise in his nightmares, hovers over him again, poking and prodding as if inspecting a faulty machine.
After four months, the process was routine, almost mechanical. Aemond hated every second of it.
No matter how many times they examined his injuries, one thing remained glaringly clear – he would never be as he once was. The cold, clinical truth he had been avoiding finally settled like a dead weight on his chest. He would never regain sight in his left eye. Ever.
Aemond’s stitches had been removed earlier than expected, the result of the extensive, borderline-experimental treatments his mother had ensured that he underwent. Her desperation to fix him bordered on obsession – nothing but the best surgeons, the most cutting-edge procedures, were made available to her son. ‘Nothing but the best for the Prince of the City’, they would say. And Aemond knew it wasn’t really for his sake. He had to be perfect. He had to be fixed.
A Targaryen heir couldn’t walk around looking all deformed, not in this family, not in this city. Yet no amount of money or prestige could make him whole again. The best the world had to offer still wasn’t enough.
He clenches his jaw, his body completely tense under the surgeon’s touch. The treatment felt less like healing and more like a futile attempt to erase the ugly truth. He felt wronged, betrayed even. He was so used to being in control, or at least, having some semblance of it. It was the only way he could bury the darkness within – the bitterness, the anger. But he has no control left. Now he is the one who bends to everyone’s will.
His mother demanded justice for him. She wanted Luke relieved of his seat at Dragonstone, and inheritance of Driftmark. At the very least, she argued, the boy should be demoted for a time or sent away to learn the error of his ways. Viserys would have none of it. According to him, both Aemond and Lucerys were equally at fault. Just boys being boys. Yet, nine times out of ten in the weeks following the accident, Viserys frequented Lucerys’ hospital suite accompanied by his precious firstborn Rhaenyra.
Aemond barely saw him. He normally wouldn’t care; he trained himself not to. But nothing was right. He didn’t deserve any of this. Luke would limp for months, and that’s it, but Aemond lost his fucking eye. He felt that childish angst resurging inside him, and he knew he was no longer in control.
He recalls the Dragonstone Ball, the night from a week prior when he’d finally emerged after months of hiding, his public reappearance carefully orchestrated to show that Aemond Targaryen was still here, still powerful, still beautiful. He tried to convince himself that he had come to terms with everything – a plain-faced lie. The crowd, the so-called elite of society, had clamoured at the sight of him. They had been shocked, though not in the way he’d expected. They hadn’t recoiled at his injuries. Some had barely seemed to notice.
It wasn’t as bad as they thought.
That had been the general statement. Whispers circulating the Valyrian hall, their astonishment turning to confusion. Why had he stayed away for months? Why all the secrecy? He looks fine, he heard them murmur, their eyes barely lingering on the faint scar on the side of his face.
Some even saw his appearance in a twisted light, and deemed it as an enhancement to his aura. But they didn’t care about him, not really. They saw a carefully curated image, a version of Aemond that fit neatly into the narrative of a rebellious, aristocratic heir who felt the need to challenge his younger nephew into a game of chicken, only to pay for it dearly. Some had even dared to call him The Dark Prince of the City, a new title he loathed.
What a relief it must be for everyone that he was only a little bit fucked up. How fucking fantastic. To them, his injury was cosmetic, an insignificant blemish on a life still dripping with wealth, status, and power. It doesn’t matter that there is an aching emptiness inside of him, a sense of loss and injustice that stretches far beyond the physical damage. It doesn’t matter that he can barely look at himself in the mirror. It doesn’t matter that he can’t allow himself to be with you.
But it does. It all does.
He closes his eye, his mind drifting back to the night of the ball, when he last held you in his arms. When he last tasted you. Oh sweet seven hells, the way you melted unto him. The way you felt…
I can wait, you promised. But how is that fair? Is there even anything left of him for you to keep waiting for?
“It’s almost time for us to have an ocular prosthesis put in,” the surgeon says casually, as if making small talk about the fucking weather. “Your mother has already vetted some top-of-the-line models, I’m sure you’d be pleased – ”
Oh, will he? The best prosthetic eye, was it? Gods, this must be what winning the lottery must be like.
“ – or she also mentioned that we could go about the traditional route? Apparently, it had been custom to have gemstones installed in place of – ”
"I don't care," Aemond snaps, cutting the surgeon off mid-sentence. Without waiting for a response, he pushes himself up from the reclined seat. He knows the surgeon’s sudden shift to small talk signals the end of the session. It always does.
"We're finished?" he says, not bothering to hide the bite in his tone. "Good. Cheers, doc."
“Wait, Aemond, remember to regularly apply the ointment – ”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Aemond says rushedly, barely glancing at the surgeon as he walks to the door. “Oh, and that’s Sir Aemond to you. We’re not friends.”
In the week following the ball, you find yourself slipping back into the familiarity of your routine. Hours spent poring over your dissertation with your supervisor, extra shifts at the bookstore, and meetups with Jace that often blurred into late-night conversations over coffee. You threw yourself into distractions, eager to escape the lingering effects of that eventful night, but the high was hard to shake off.
For a night, you felt like you were floating on clouds. Everything had aligned so perfectly – Jace had been the ideal partner, Baela’s custom gown made you feel like royalty, and the ball itself was something from another world entirely. Things couldn’t have gone better.
You could have gone with Aemond. But that doesn’t matter now.
He made his choice – one that had been crystal clear until it wasn’t. Until he’d pulled you out of the ball, and kissed you with such fierce intensity that your legs nearly gave out beneath you.
He avoided you, but also stalked you. Dropped you as his partner to the ball, but sought you out during it with an emotion in his eyes you couldn’t fully decipher.
Is that emotion the very same that you feel? Perhaps it was only momentary, and the next time you see him, his gaze will display cold indifference. Aemond is fire, and then he’s ice, keeping you in a state of uncertainty. What you have with him is suspended in limbo – you told him you would wait, and you plan to make good on your word.
It’s because of him that you refused Cregan when he texted you – your number practically offered up to him on a silver platter by Jace – and asked if you wanted to ‘have dinner some time’. You said you were having a particularly busy week, so maybe a rain check? You weren’t exactly lying. You did keep very busy – intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter. But as you sit on your worn-out couch, research papers strewn on the coffee table after hours of struggling to break ground on your dissertation, the idea of having dinner with the handsome Stark seemed all the more tempting.
That when you hear it – a faint knock at your door.
Living alone has never given you much anxiety before, and you didn’t think it would start tonight. But who could be knocking at your door past midnight, when you hadn’t buzzed anyone in? You were never on close terms with your neighbours, either.
You sit on your couch looking like a deer in headlights, staring at the door like it’s supposed to silence the knocking.
When did you get so wary? It could be Jace. Maybe Helaena. But then again, they’re not the type to show up unannounced. And besides, if it were them, you’d have already –
Aemond’s voice calls out your name, partially calming your racing mind.
You sense hesitance in his tone. Almost embarrassed. Like he knows he shouldn’t be here.
“Aemond?” You find your voice, and move quickly to the door. As you open it, the question is on the tip of your tongue – What the hell are you doing here? – but the words stick in your throat.
“Hi, darling,” he says weakly, exhaustion etched in his voice. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
Something resembling a gasp escapes your lips when he turns his head slightly, revealing the fresh bruise blossoming beneath his right eye, a vicious mix of maroon and violet. The skin is split, blood dried along the cut, though his eye itself looks unharmed.
“Aemond, what – ”
“Can I come in?” he interrupts, his voice barely a whisper. “Please.”
He walks past you as you step aside, his eye trained on you the whole time. A newly-arrived guest in your home and he has already claimed the space, his presence intoxicating. The air feels heavier, as if your modest apartment has shifted to accommodate someone like him. Or maybe it was just the effect he has on you, what do you know?
You gesture for him to take a seat, anywhere he’d like, and he waits until you settle right next to him before he visibly relaxes. The tension in his body eases, and his shoulders drop as he glances down. It becomes apparent to him how battered he must look.
He starts to say, “I’m sorry for coming over unannounced – ”
“What the fuck happened, Aemond?” you cut him off, your sharp tone making him flinch. He swallows nervously, eyes darting away before he responds.
“I got into… an altercation. Nothing to worry about, really – ”
His nonchalance is grating to you, frustrating you to no end. How can he say that, when the skin below his good eye is an angry colour it should never be in? “Nothing to worry about? Look at you! Gods, why am I just sitting here… I have to get the first-aid kit – ”
You start to stand, but his hand shoots out, grabbing yours with surprising gentleness. “It’s fine. Just... sit with me?”
He’s not being fair, using that tone with you. His question reminds you of the first time Helaena brought you to their penthouse. She needed to pick something up from downstairs, when Aemond had wandered into the living room, a book tucked under his arm. “This is my brother Aemond!” she exclaimed at the sight of him. “Aemond, this is my new official best friend. Don’t scare her off! I’ll only be a minute.”
You’d stood awkwardly, watching Helaena leave, and when you finally turned back to Aemond, he was already lounging in a plush chair, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.
“You know you can sit with me, if you’d like,” he had called out. “Promise I don’t bite.”
He had kept that promise – literally, at least. His bite stung far more – he drew you in, made you fall for him, and just when you thought things seemed too good to be true, he ices you out and avoids you for months.
But sure, Aemond didn’t bite.
You ignore his plea, pulling your hand from his. The expression on his face morphs into disappointment, but you force yourself not to dwell on it. If he’s offended, it can most certainly wait until his injury is dealt with.
“I’m getting the first aid kit,” you say firmly, before disappearing into the bathroom. When you return, he is leaning forward, head held in both hands like he’s burdened by a migraine.
A fresh surge of panic rises in your chest. You sit next to him, clutching the small first-aid kit, suddenly feeling like it’s far from enough. “Aemond, you should probably go to a hospital. You might have a concussion or something – ”
“I don’t,” he says flatly.
“How can you be sure?” You reach for his face, gently turning it toward you. Pulling out a disinfectant wipe, you start dabbing at the bruise. He tries to hold still, but every wince betrays the pain he’s trying so hard to hide.
“Got hit in the face, not in the head,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Okay, smartass.” you reply, still unconvinced. Your nose scrunches at his tone, and his lips tug at the sight. He’s grateful that at least his lip wasn’t split – he knows you’d make things far more difficult for him if he had to resist the urge to kiss you. Especially with the way your reactions are always so damn adorable.
You apprehensively apply antiseptic to a cotton pad, dabbing it over his bruise. “I don’t know if this is enough, Aemond, we really should call someone… Helaena – ”
“It’s fine, darling. I’ve been through much worse,” he says coldly, and your face falls at his insinuation. You’re afraid to know just how much worse – what he went through, what he still could be going through. He reaches for your knee, and squeezes gently as a gesture of reassurance. “I’m sorry. But trust me, I’ll be fine.”
You shoot him a look of disbelief. He’s comforting you? It almost feels absurd – he’s the one who looks like he ran face first into a pole, yet here he is, acting like it’s no big deal.
“Tell me what happened,” you demand, putting the contents of the first aid kit back with an audible snap of plastic.
Aemond hesitates, jaw clenching as he tries to find the right words. You can already tell that he’s going to try to downplay it. He says, “I, uhhh, got into a fight, I suppose.”
“What, you just felt like it?” you say bitterly. Ever since you’ve known him, Aemond has always been the most composed out of all his siblings. But it seems as if another Aemond came out the night of the accident. If you don’t look close enough, you would think he has changed completely. But you do, and you know that your Aemond is still in there somewhere.
He doesn’t answer right away. If he were to say he never feels like breaking things, like letting it all spiral out of control, he’d be lying through his teeth. “You should see the other guy,” he replies, leaning back with a cocky smirk that you just want to wipe right off his lips.
With your own.
“It’s not funny,” you mutter, lightly slapping his arm, and he puts on an exaggerated grimace.
“Don’t hit me. I’m already injured,” he playfully scolds.
You sigh deeply. The boy isn’t making any of this easy. “Who did this to you? Who… who did you – ” Your face contorts into obvious worry, and he exhales sharply, his eyes flickering with distaste.
“Not Lucerys,” he sneers. “You don’t need to worry about your little friend. One of Alys’ degenerate friends at the club. Must have been a Greyjoy. He certainly smelled like one.”
The callousness of his tone, the way he spits the words without a second thought, feels wrong. You’ve heard Aemond make cutting remarks before, but they were always sharp, witty, delivered with a certain sensitivity. Now, it’s like he doesn’t care who he hurts.
“You got into a fight because… you wanted to defend Alys, is that it?”
“No, gods.” He immediately shakes his head at the notion. “She had nothing to do with it. She left early… she wasn’t even there by that point.”
“Then what?”
The truth of it was, he heard the news of Lucerys’ early induction into the board at Driftmark, like some hero’s welcome. Lucerys, the Velaryon heir, rewarded for his resilience, for living through what nearly destroyed Aemond. His grandfather Corlys, being the CEO, had always doted on him – the raven-haired grandson who didn’t bear the slightest resemblance to him nor to his late son Laenor.
Lucerys was treated like the golden child. And Aemond… Aemond was left to lick his own wounds in the shadows.
So Aemond heard the news, and went on a bender. It was nothing if not immature. He knows it. But he hates that he can’t just let it go, that he can’t turn the other cheek like he’s supposed to.
“They said some idiotic things,” he mutters finally, his tone hollow, “and things got unruly. Next thing you know – ” He clicks his tongue, shrugging as if it’s no big deal.
“You just threw yourself into a fight? For what? To feel something?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, darling,” he says, his voice flat. Your frustration reaches its peak, and you wordlessly walk to the kitchen to retrieve several ice cubes, wrapping them in a clean hand towel to create a makeshift cold compress.
When you hand it to him, he just looks at you with brows raised. “Press it against your face,” you explain, your voice clipped but calm.
He looks amused, and he hovers the compress over his bruise for a mere second, before dropping it on the couch beside him, shaking his head. “I’ll pass,” he says, his tone dismissive.
“Just do it, Aemond.”
“It’ll cover my fucking eye,” he mutters, his voice breaking. “and I want to be able to see you. I want to… look at you.” He shifts uncomfortably, gesturing vaguely to his eyepatch. “As you can tell, this one is permanently out of commission.”
His vulnerability chips away at your frustration. “Aemond… ” you whisper his name softly, as his gaze burns through you. “You don’t have to act like this doesn’t bother you. You can be hurt, you can be angry. You can feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Just don’t shut me out.”
His jaw clenches, but his gaze doesn’t leave yours. “I’m not shutting you out.”
“Right. Sure,” you reply, unable to help the sarcasm. “Then stop brushing me off when I try to help you.”
He exhales sharply, his shoulders stiffening. “I don’t need you to fix me.”
“I’m not trying to fix you, Aemond,” you snap, but your voice cracks under the strain. “I’m trying to be here for you. There’s a difference. Why can’t you see that?”
“Because it’s not that simple!” His voice rises, sharp and biting, his frustration finally matching yours. “You can’t just magically undo what I’m going through. Who I am –”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” you shoot back. “I know I can’t make everything better, but I’m here and – ”
“You shouldn't have to stay,” he mutters, quieter this time. “It would be easier for you if you let me go.”
“You don’t get to decide what’s easier for me, Aemond,” you say, voice trembling with emotion. The silence stretches between you, and for a moment, you think he might actually let you in.
But then he stands abruptly. “I shouldn’t have come,” he mutters, pacing the room. “This was a mistake.”
“Then why did you, Aemond?” you ask, standing too, your heart pounding in your chest. This was not how you expected your cluttered little night-in to go.
“Because… because of you!”
“Me? I have done nothing but try to help you, even when you push me away… I wait for you, and I keep waiting and – ”
“Why?” He leans over you, tilting his head. “Why wait? I can’t deal with what you seem to expect of me. I can see it in your eyes. How can you look at me like that?”
“Enlighten me,” you challenge, stepping closer. “Like what?”
“Like… I’m better than I am.” Like I’m good. “I’m not. I would ruin you.”
“And yet, here you are,” you insist. “You came here. You sought me out.”
He looks away, jaw clenching again. “I shouldn’t have. Alys would have taken me in, tucked me into bed without all this questioning. Not… whatever this is.”
Your throat clenches at his words, and you have to swallow back the pathetic sob that nearly rises out of you. “Is that what you want? Did you come here for a pat on the back and quick roll in the hay? Is that how you see me?”
“That’s not what I meant.” His eyes snap back to yours, full of anger and regret.
“I’m not going to ignore what’s happening with you, Aemond. I can’t. I care about you. You’re a lot better than you think you are. You’re good and kind and fair. But you’re just – ”
“Broken?” he interrupts, his tone biting, as though the word itself is a weapon.
“Aemond – ”
“Am I just a fixer-upper to you then, darling? A project for your brilliant mind?”
“That’s not true. You know it isn’t. You’re lashing out on me, and I just want to help you!”
“I don’t want your help.” His words are clipped, final, made clear over and over. But you don’t back down.
“Then what – ”
“I just want you,” he confesses, the words tumbling out of him like something precious. You stay silent, trying to process his words.
He continues, his voice growing more pained. “That’s just me. I’m fucked in the head for wanting impossible things. I want you to stop looking at me like I’m still the Aemond you used to know. Maybe that Aemond was never even real. I want you to stop wanting to fix me. And I… I just want you to love me.”
You say nothing for a while, your chest rising and falling, betraying your erratic breathing. He says in finality, “Like I said – impossible.”
“It’s not impossible,” you find your voice, your eyes never leaving his.
“What?”
“It’s real, Aemond. And quite frankly, it’s driving me insane,” you admit, feeling braver than you ever have before.
“Darling – ”
“You want me to love you?” you ask, your voice steady despite the chaos of the evening. “Well, you have it.”
He shakes his head slightly, like he’s trying to shake off your words. “You don’t actually mean that – ”
“I love you, idiot.”
“You love me,” he echoes, the words tentative, like he doesn’t quite believe it. He looks at you, like he’s seeing you for the first time. “I don’t think I’ve ever understood you,” he murmurs, almost to himself.
“Just what every girl wants to hear,” you tease, a small, weary smile breaking through the tension.
But Aemond isn’t smiling. He’s still staring at you, his hand twitching like he wants to reach out but doesn’t quite know how. “You love me?”
“Aemond.” You can only nod, growing unsure of yourself. Is this him realising that he doesn’t actually mirror your sentiment? Fire and ice – he wants your love, but can’t love you back.
In the heaviest of silences, you do what you’ve expertly done thus far.
You wait.
Series taglist (comment below to be added): @caught-in-the-afterglow @aemondtargaryensrider @punggo66 @dollfaceyourfear @candypurplebutterfly @moonmaiden1996 @mxrgodsstuff @lolitaisreal @blue-serendipity @melsunshine @thejanecampaign @fxngsfxgxrty @padfooteyes @msmarvel-19 @tempo-rary-fix @lauraneedstochill @julczimozart @sarcasticfangirl @witchyv @pyjama-shorts @bellaisasleep @zillahvathek @thincrusttheworks @krispold @yougotthatlove @raging-panda @fleetingly-artistic @throughgoeshamilton @polireader @katsav17 @minttea07 @kravitzwhore @meggiemay82 @hedonefox @daenysx @schniiipsel @namoreno @afro-hispwriter @aemondswifeisme @emcharra @malfoytargaryen @iiamthehybrid @fullmetalriotts @kellzlib @justsumtuffstuff @daydreamy-me @yentroucnagol @kezibear @queenofshinigamis @paprikaquinn (continued in comments...)
Some notes in the margins...
Maroon is back! Grateful to all of you lovely readers who waited 🖤
The suspense at the end! Gah!!! If I'm honest, I hit a wall right there. Does the night culminate in heated passion? Is it the right time? Would it be good for either of them?
I'm sure you'll know my decision from the first passage of part seven 😆
As always, I am eager to hear from yous!
#maroon#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen#modern!aemond targaryen x reader#modern!aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd#ewan mitchell
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~Bad Ideas for Skyrim Mods~
Stylish Lore-Friendly Vampire Lady Attire 4K CBBE 3BBA BHUNP HDT-FMSP SSE AE WACCF OWL CACO ACE: Puts Serana in a stylish tuxedo and top hat.
Immersive Mud: Replaces the mud in Morthal and along the coastline with a deformable mesh into which actors and objects can sink. Characters with legs have a chance of getting stuck in the mud, increasing with the mud's depth and their armour's weight. You can escape from the mud by jumping repeatedly or using Whirlwind Sprint, but any boots you have equipped will stay buried, and must be dug out with a spade.
Realistic Lore-Friendly Fishing Rods: Adds three thousand, seven hundred and twelve new variants of fishing rod, each with different chances of fishing up various types of treasure, rubbish and water-dwelling fauna.
Organised Bears in Skyrim: Adds stronger tiers of bears to bear levelled lists, from Dire Bears at level 32 all the way to Evolved Ancient Frozen Panda Deathlords at level 78. Diversifies bear spawns with exciting new bear archetypes, including slow and tanky armoured bears, powerful bear warlocks, deadly bear crossbowmen, and even bear necromancers who can conjure fearsome bear draugr.
Silent Hill in Whiterun: Puts a small hill on the Whiterun tundra which makes no sounds whatsoever. Maybe it could go in that empty part east of Rorikstead.
Very Realistic Horses: 2023 Edition: Speeds up horses. They now canter as fast as a human can sprint, and gallop faster still. Horses need to eat and drink at least once per day, and will feed automatically on nearby water and grass while not being ridden. When stabled, they'll pretty much take care of themselves; otherwise, they should be left near some grass and a river or lake. If you don't feed or water your horse for one day, it will refuse to run. If you don't feed or water your horse for three days, it will die. If you don't clean up your horse's manure, which it deposits by the side of the road every three hours, you will be fined 100 septims or arrested.
Immersive Dragon Bridge Bridge Dragon Overhaul: Replaces the dragon-themed bridge outside Dragon Bridge with an actual dragon. Instead of walking across her, for a small fee she'll lift you up ever so carefully in her jaws and deposit you on the far side of the gorge.
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hello!! so im going to try to make a disability inclusive picrew and id like some help making sure i include as much as i can!
the person would be seated and pretty much all of the body would be visible. ill post it when im done!
its mostly focused on phys disabilities, bc i so rarely can find picrews w good diverse mobility aid options, but ofc im including non phys disabilities as well! (sorry for clunky phrasing, im unclear on the preferred term for non phys disabilities so thats the term ive been using)
what i have so far is below the read more. be warned it is a very long list! (every option/category of option i could think of)
if you think i missed something, please recommend it!!! (related note: id much rather get recommended something that is already on the list than miss something!)
category: head
various jaw shapes
missing jaw
crooked/misaligned jaw
category: skin
wide range of skin tones, including white/extremely pale (albino)
freckles, lots of scar variation (including burns), vitiligo, acne, facial hair, eye bags, other skin conditions (trying to make a list)
breathing tubes, masks, bandages
bindis
category: eyes
blue, grey, green, hazel, medium brown, dark brown, black, red
heterochromia options
lazy eye options
clouded eye options
closed eyes that look like winking and closed eyes that don't
missing eyes
category: mouth
general expressions
variations for color
variations for cleft lip, scars, facial paralysis
category: ears
ear size, shape, missing ears, deformed ears
category: eye/ear accessories
earrings, earplugs, hearing aids, bone anchored hearing aids, headphones, earmuffs (modifications for missing/deformed ears), cochlear implant
glasses, sunglasses, blue light glasses, eye patches, eye masks/bandages
category: nose
various shapes & sizes, bumpy noses, deformed noses
category: eyebrows
lots of expression options, thickness options, color options (including white)
one missing, scarring, eyebrow slits
category: body
body types: very skinny, skinny, fat, very fat (options for muscularity too if i can figure out how)
body hair, scarring, freckles, tattoos
range of missing limbs, deformed limbs, prosthetics
diabetes patch
category: hair
wide range of hairstyles, bangs, and colors
patchy hair, scalp scarring, receding hairline
category: head coverings
range of hats, hair accessories, headbands, bandanas
range of hijabs, turbans, kippot (+ more variation in cultural headwear if theres space)
head bandages
category: clothes
range of styles and colors
adaptable to body types (+ breasts), missing/deformed limbs
category: shoes
range of styles
adaptable to body types, missing foot/feet
category: hand accessories
gloves, bracelets, rings, nails, wrist braces, splint rings
range of types, adaptable to missing/deformed hands
category: pins
range of queer pride flags
pronoun pins
animals, fandoms/characters (def muppets, feel free to recommend characters and i'll try to include some of the most popular ones)
general disability pride, cripplepunk, madpunk, sign union flag, & pin (for systems), specific disabilities (need some help with these, send me specific flags and i’ll include them!)
category: seat
chair, manual wheelchair, power chair, spinny chair, throne, rollator, electric scooter
category: mobility aids
cane, white cane, crutches (underarm/axillary and forearm), rollator, walker (with and without wheels), electric scooter
joint braces (shoulder, elbow, knee, ankle, back, others?), joint tape, compression garments
category: other disability aids
AAC tablets, word cards, glucose monitor, sunflower lanyard, inhaler, medical id bracelet
stoma bag, central line catheter, picc line catheter, heart monitor, breathing tube, feeding tube (nasal and abdominal), tracheostomy
stim toys/chewelry, stuffed animals, phone
service animals
#disability#chronic disability#chronic illness#physical disability#physically disabled#cripple punk#cpunk#cripplepunk#actually disabled#disabled#disabled community#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#madpunk#neurodiversity#neuropunk#actually mentally ill#mental illness#actually chronically ill#words from my weird little brain#disability picrew tag
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The last dragon the Targaryens ever hatched, according to the books, was described as a green female, "small and stunted with withered wings", and was said to be sickly, though laying five eggs which never hatched. A skull later displayed in the throne room was later described as being "no bigger than a mastiff's skull, and oddly misshapen", likely belonging to her.
I'd seen quite a few fanart of the unnamed last dragon and they usually depicted her with an aspect of majesty and beauty, which sounded odd for what was the dying gasp of a once-powerful empire. So my take on the last dragon is the opposite, an absolutely pitiful and grotesquely deformed freak of nature, with basically everything possible wrong with her, at a glance clearly something not bound to have lived very long. Clubbed feet, a kinked tail, a severely shortened upper jaw that caused painful breathing and eating difficulties, a crooked neck, and said withered wings being hideously disfigured, one berely functional as a forelimb to hobble around on and the other a useless appendage with tangled digits. Unable to breathe fire, fly, or be used for riding in combat, she is a perfect representation of the Targaryen dynasty in its final years: frail, impotent, and a mere pathetic shadow of the glory and fearsomeness of its forebearers.
#creature design#speculative biology#fantasy biology#house of the dragon#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire#dragons#the last dragon#asoiaf#got#hotd#house of the dragon spoilers#hotd spoilers
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No thoughts, just Punk!Simon.
Punk!Simon who dresses like he shops exclusively at Hot Topic. We're talking band t-shirts, combat boots, leather anything he can get his hands on. His style is bold, accessories maximized, and his entire wardrobe can be condensed into one of three colors: black, gray, and dark gray.
Punk!Simon who likes to wear lots of jewelry. Thick chains, bulky rings, decorative pins pressed into his jackets. His pieces are mostly silver and always real, none of that fake, turn your skin green shit. Keep him far away from metal detectors because he will set them off.
Punk!Simon who listens to only the grungiest of grunge rock music. Ask him for recommendations and he's spouting off six or seven bands that are so underground they may as well reside in the Earth's mantle. Don't leave him in charge of the playlist when driving together unless you want a bad case of tinnitus for the next four hours.
Punk!Simon who’s tatted up to high heaven. You thought he only had his left sleeve done, until you saw him working out without his shirt on one day. Turns out it doesn't just stop at his shoulder, but continues downward, wrapping around his trunk like vines of black and gray ivy.
Punk!Simon who's sporting more than one set of piercings. You ask him how many he has and (with a smirk) he tells you six, and you try to take a mental tally of the ones you've seen. 1) eyebrow 2) industrial 3) nostril 4) snake bites 5) areolas 6) . . . 6) . . . . . Huh. Where's the sixth?
Punk!Simon who experiments with a little body modification. Not just the normal piercings and tattoos, but things many people would consider to be on the more extreme side. Stretched lobes, sharpened canines, . . . bifurcated tongue? 👀
Punk!Simon who, on an uncharacteristically unmasked day, grabs your attention as you enjoy a round of drinks with friends. One minute you were sitting there, chatting, just minding your business, and the next your gaze was locked onto Simon's tongue as it darted out from in between his plump lips. You tried not to let your eyes linger, but you couldn't help it. You'd never seen something like that before in person. A tongue split right down the center, cut with surgical precision from the looks of it. It had clearly been done on purpose, not an accident or deformity, but you hadn't expected to see it as you watched him lick away a bourbon droplet from the corner of his mouth. As you stare, said mouth then curves slyly, impish, into a grin just shy of wicked. The movement makes your eyes dart upwards, where they meet Simon's, and he's giving you a look that says one thing: Caught you.
With that taunting expression, Simon turns in his seat, plants his elbows on the table, and blocks out the rest of your group as he asks lowly, “Somethin’ the matter, sweet’eart?”
His tone makes you startle, eyes rounding in surprise, mouth fluttering open and closed like a flailing fish. “N-No, I was– I– You– I–”
“Wha's wrong?” His brow furrows, teasing. “Cat got your tongue?”
Oh, the bastard.
But the reminder has your gaze dropping back to his lips unthinkingly, almost like you secretly wish he'll grant you another peek for your sick fascination.
He doesn't, keeps that serpentine tongue tucked within the confines of his jaw, but it's like he can read your mind because his smile curves further, drawing even closer to you as he says, “Curious?”
It's like the rattling of a deadly snake's tail, the way he hisses out the question. It means to warn you of danger ahead, of expert predation, of total and utter annihilation should you let him take a bite.
You drag your eyes back up to his smoky ones, half expecting to find slitted pupils that speak of poison. There isn't, just a mirthful quirk to his brow, and a solitary nod is all you can offer him in return.
“‘S alright.” He tips his chin in encouragement. “Go on, then. Ask.”
Another glance to his lips as you rummage through the dense brush that entangles your brain. Plucking one of the first you find, you ask, “Does it hurt?” eyes moving back to his.
That earns a little chuckle from Simon, an even smaller shake of the head. “Not now that it's healed,” he tells you truthfully, cheek dimpled in amusement. A beat passes, him waiting for another of your questions, and when you don't conjure one up, he jokes, “That it?” Clearly, he expected a barrage.
You take a second, searching for another, then simply, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why'd you do it?”
Simon raises his shoulder in a shrug. “Dunno. Wanted to do somethin’ fun; different I s’pose,” his reasoning is as carefree as his voice sounds. He leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. “Plus, ‘s more useful than you think,” he tacks on at the end, something mischievous glinting in his eye. Deception maybe. Bait definitely.
Useful, he says? You doubt it. Having a second tongue sounds like a burden honestly. You'd have to learn how to talk, eat, and drink all over again, just like when you were a small child. But if he said so, and with such confidence, then it begs the question: “How?”
How is having a second tongue useful?
Throughout your entire conversation, Simon's maintained steady eye contact with you, his focus never faltering from yours. But now, as your brow creases in confusion, Simon breaks away, lids lowering as he gazes down at the floor. He rolls a thought around his head for a moment, that cheeky look still etched into his face. When he huffs an amused breath through his nose, it only deepens his smirk that much more, and then slowly, painfully unrushed, his eyes rake up, up, up your body, until settling on yours once again.
The look he gives you now is dark, a grin like the devil’s as he peers up at you. The tip of his forked tongue pokes out as it makes another swipe across his bottom lip.
No thoughts, except for Punk!Simon who takes you back to his place and shows you just how useful two tongues can be.
#split tongue simon riley my beloved 🖤#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost cod#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#call of duty#modern warfare 2
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