#jasper is my better half

[ohdamncam]

🥹🥹

[goldeneyedgirl]

Is there any chance that Memento Vivere will ever see the light of the day?

Oh no, @flowerslut got to you, didn't she?

There is a good chance, as long as I stop forgetting it exists.

It was initially supposed to be three fics: Memento Mori, Memento Vivere (Alice lives and she and Jasper fall in love), and ??? (Jasper accidentally turns Alice). There was also a one-shot of Jasper's feelings about the whole thing, and then for last year's Whumptober, I started a one-shot if Alice had survived the attack that I never finished.

Then I thought too much and started playing around with things and wondered if maybe it should just be one fic, alternating chapters between if Alice stayed human and if she was changed. I did figure out the vampire Alice plot, but the human Alice plot was just so... so bad. Terrible. It has to rot on my hard drive for the rest of time because it can't be seen by human eyes.

And then I wandered off and forgot about it. But if people care that Alice is still dead in the hole and want a happy ending, I can do that.

You just have to tell me if you want it as one long fic with alternating chapters or two shorter fics. Content stays the same, I just have to come up with a third title and figure out human Alice's story. Because I worry it might get confusing if the chapters alternate, but it also might be a fun way to explore possibilities.

(Jasper's little POV snippet below; that'll be put up as an extra chapter to Memento Mori when it's done.)

“Jasper killed Alice Brandon.”

The words hit Carlisle like I’ve stabbed him. Four plunges of the knife. I see the news sink in, and I can see him go rigid, to resist whatever reaction he wants to have. He swallows hard and nods once. 

“You cleaned up?” he asks, his voice hoarse, and his words directed to Edward.

“Yes. She won’t be found,” Edward affirms. He’s right; her grave is deep in the Olympic National Park, where only the most experience of climbers could get to easily. No hunters would go there, no police dogs could get to the scent. She’ll never be found.

I don’t need Edward’s gift to know that Carlisle is remembering other accidents we’ve had to clean up; the wet, meaty sound as we pulled off limbs to simulate an animal attack; slicing deeply into flesh to mimic ripping; impromptu pyres, and rocks filling the pockets of horror-stricken corpses. 

“What do we do now?” Esme asks. I don’t need to look up at them all. Flavours of shock, grief, frustration, rage, and pity rush to meet me. “We… we can’t leave, not without Bella.” 

Rosalie huffs, Edward growls, and Carlisle is just staring off into space.

“We’ve broken the Treaty,” Carlisle murmured. “We must leave.” 

[meatsound]

having a serious Mother Issues kind of knight set off by her passive aggressiveness lads

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - prologue

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, none Wordcount: 5.6K A/N: LILA IS BACK with a new series. this is the prologue, purely here to give people an insight to our oc Izara (who i already love btw), so not as much paige here, but she will make a much bigger entrance come first chapter of the series. again, ty so much for everyone who hyped this up based solely on the synopsis i wrote and ty for your support! i am so excited for this series you guys don't even know!! this one will be a looooong one so buckle up

-

Passport? Check. Silk pillowcase? Check. Laptop? Check.

The list seemed to go on and on, filling out three sheets of paper, both front and back. Some people called it excessive but to me it was necessary. It was better to be over prepared than leave things up to chance. I had been making lists all my life, I wasn’t about to stop now. They have worked for me so far.

Flipping through the maroon moleskine notepad in my hands, my green eyes skim over one page after another - grocery list, changes I must make to my skincare routine, presents to buy next Christmas, wedding registry. There’s a sting in my chest as I stop, my french manicured hand brushing over the soft paper: Vitamix blender, Ginori 1735 cake plate, Baccarat candlestick set.

Inhale, exhale. The pain won’t relinquish. I bring my hand to the soft cotton of my turtleneck, rubbing soothing circles on my chest just like my mum used to when I was little.

“There you go Izara, don’t you feel better? It’s a magic trick, it takes the sadness away.”

The black suitcase is laid out on the floor in front of me, clothes folded neatly in their own nooks. I keep rubbing and rubbing but the sadness won’t go away. So I stop, my fingers carefully flipping a few pages forward. 

Move to The US

Pros

Good career move?

New experiences

Cons

Leaving my family and friends

Boss talked about promotion for me in the next year

Leaving London

Visa hassle

Expenses

Wedding delayed off

Leaving Jasper (pro?)

My memories of the day resurface, the way I was locked in my car, dreading walking inside where my husband-to-be was expecting me. I had spent all day trying on wedding dresses near Soho, my mom and her sister fawning over Jasper the entire day. To everyone he was the perfect man, charming, nurturing and protective. But they didn’t know half of what I put up with. All day I wanted to scream, to throw a fit, tell everyone that they don’t know anything about my perfect fiancé. But instead I kept my mouth shut, and waited till I got into my car to cry. I didn’t like being vulnerable, for my relatives to see me weak. I had told no one about the conflicting feelings inside me, or the way I had applied for an open position to be a social media producer for the Dallas Wings. That very same morning the position had been offered to me.

So I sat in my car with my trusty lists, as usual. The moment I wasn’t sure whether to write leaving Jasper into the pros or the cons, I knew I had to go. It had been gnawing at my subconscious, making me sick to my stomach. Even according to the list this decision made absolutely no sense. But in my gut I knew had to go - desperately so.

“Izzie, are you done yet? We have to leave soon.”

My brother bursts into the room, watching the way I had undone all the packing that I had naturally finished a week prior. Clothes were all over my childhood bedroom, piles of them standing neatly. After calling off the wedding with Jasper I had decided to move back home, not wanting to stay with him and his temper under the same roof.

“What the hell have you done here?” He chuckles, shaking his head as I stand in the middle of the bedroom, notebook in hand, staring at the half empty suitcase.

“I think I’ve gone crazy Kiran,” I admit with a sigh. Two weeks ago when I accepted the job I had been so sure - now I wasn’t. This was insane, mad, completely, utterly unlike me. To get up and move, to disappoint my parents, to disappoint everyone. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, my life here. Every year I grew older I became more and more unsure. Now at 25 I felt like a complete fool, not knowing anything except this wasn’t the life I wanted. Something had to change - I had to change.

My younger brother walks over, wrapping a hand around my shoulder.

“Yes you have.”

I scoff and push him off. “That’s not helpful!”

He chuckles and begins to pack for me, just as neatly as I had done earlier. Guess being high-strung ran in the family.

“It is mad. But that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do,” my brother mumbles, neatly folding my black cashmere sweater. “I think it’s good Iz, no matter what mum and dad are saying. Don’t mind them. They’ll come around.”

“I wasn’t raised not to mind them,” I chuckle, looking out the window, ours just one of many of the semi-detached houses extending along the road I grew up on. The cherry trees had just bloomed, pale pink blossoms covering the branches, decorating the pavement.

“Funny that, neither was I,” Kiran laughs and finally zips up my suitcase, picking it up and preparing to carry it to the car. “You got everything? Passport? Wallet? Documents?”

I nod with a smile. Even if we didn’t look almost exactly the same (though, we certainly did), it was impossible not to pick up on the family resemblance.

“I have everything.”

-

The drive to Heathrow Airport is quiet. Truthfully, I was far too nervous to speak. I could feel my stomach twisting uncomfortably, a nauseating weight on my chest. I watch as we pass the streets of London, the only streets I had ever known. We pass the red double-decker buses, the abandoned phone boxes, eventually making our way onto the highway.

London is cruel, relentless to its residents, yet simultaneously captivating and thrilling. I had travelled enough to know there was no place like it. Nowhere else I could hop on the Northern Line in the bohemian, eclectic Camden, switch tubes and step out to Canary Wharf, where skyscrapers stand tall above you and the streets are buzzing with men in suits, just in 40 minutes or so. The diversity of the city, the way it could feel like a large metropolis as much as a small charming town all at once, depending on where you were. I loved this city, I always would. But it was time for me to move on at least for now. I wasn’t getting what I wanted, not that I knew what that was in the first place.

“Can’t believe my sister’s gonna be working for the league,” Kiran interrupts the silence. “When you meet Bronny you must tell him hi.”

I let out a laugh, turning to look at him. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening anywhere else except your delusions.”

“Hey, you never know!” He scoffs as we pull up to terminal 3, the butterflies growing deep in my abdomen.

“You’re such a guy,” I roll my eyes. “I’m working for the WNBA and all you want is to say hi to Lebron James.”

“Well who else is there, Steph?”

In reality, my brother loved basketball, he was the sole reason I knew the first thing about the sport. But he loved pushing my buttons more - and nothing pushed my buttons further than women being underestimated by men.

“A’ja, Stewie, Sabrina, Jewell? Arike plays for the Wings!”

“Never heard of any of them.”

I smack him on the shoulder as he’s parking the car, making him yelp. He was joking of course, but I wasn’t in the mood. Some would argue I was rarely in the mood to joke around but it’s just how I am. High-strung, intense. It was just me, I couldn’t help it. You know how some people have that spark to them? The kind where they step in the room and the place just lights up? That wasn’t me, and I was okay with it. At least I got shit done.

“Okay sorry,” Kiran whines, rubbing his arm. Neither of us wanted to get out, to face the goodbye looming ahead. So we sit for a while.

“Paige Bueckers was drafted there though, right?” My brother asks, staring at the big sign for Terminal 3 above the sliding doors.

“Yeah, she was.”

“She’s tough,” he says and I nod in agreement. I had followed her college career quite a bit, saw her go through injury and rise to the top again. She wasn’t my favourite player, I preferred focusing on the league - but it was undeniable she was a generational talent. 

“She’s also really fit,” my brother adds, making me snort.

“Kiran, I'm fairly sure she’s also really gay,” I laugh. My brother turns to me with shock written all over his face.

“You really think so?” 

I roll my eyes, “I- well yes. It’s pretty obvious, don’t you think?”

“Damn,” he sighs, shaking his head. “Takes one to know one I guess.”

Another smack on his shoulder, another yelp spilling from his lips. One drunken night years ago I had come out to Kiran as bisexual and now it was his favourite joke in the world. I don’t think he realised I was serious, or that at points in my life I had dated girls as well. Honestly though, I hadn’t even thought about girls that way since I met Jasper. Not that I’d found any girl remotely attractive in the past years, perhaps it had just been a phase.

“You’re going to come back with some 6 '5 American basketball lesbian aren’t you?” He teases, making me roll my eyes.

“We need to head inside,” I laugh, climbing out of the car. I didn’t know much about what would happen, but I certainly wasn’t going to come back with anyone. The time I spend in Dallas would be time dedicated to me, to figuring out who I was, what I wanted. I had no time for love.

I pull the suitcase towards the doors, Kiran on my tail until we both come to a halt right inside. Quickly I check my purse again - passport, phone, wallet, charger, documents. All there. Just one thing left to do.

I turn to my brother and hug him. We had never spent more than a month apart since the day he was born. I had always been the annoying, bossy older sister, ordering him around since he could barely talk. But still, it had all been out of love. I wanted him to be safe and it was my job to protect him. He was my baby brother after all, even now at 23 as he stands 6’0 tall. 

“Take care of yourself Izzie,” he whispers, squeezing me tight.

“You too, and of mum and dad please,” I tell him, holding my breath in as to not let any tears fall, though they’re already burning in the corners of my eyes.

We pull apart, and he smiles at me assuringly. “Call mum when you land, we don’t need her getting loopy.”

“I will,” I chuckle. There’s a few seconds of silence that stretches across us, our green eyes locked in each other’s gaze. We don’t need to say these things out loud, we both knew we loved each other.

“Well, have a safe flight and have fun in Dallas,” Kiran says and waves bye, turning around to walk away. “YEEHAW!” He turns around and yells before slipping out through the sliding doors. Laughing, I watch him, the ache in my chest growing exponentially. It was all becoming real. Me in Dallas, Texas.

A couple hours and a long security line later I’m sitting on the ascending plane, gazing out of the window. I stretch out my legs, glad to be short enough to fit in the seats comfortably. I’m holding a copy of War and Peace by Tolstoy in my hands, simply flipping through the pages, my mind too conflicted to focus as I watch the ground beneath me retreating further every second.

I could see Big Ben, The London Eye, Thames stretching across the length of the city, shrinking until we ascend through a thick layer of clouds, making it impossible to see anything. It’s only then I let myself cry, the first tears after ending my engagement only a couple weeks prior. I had no other plan, I needed this to work out desperately.

-

Jet lag was killing me, but I knew I could never allow it to show. It was the following day of arriving in Dallas. I spent all of yesterday sleeping, trying to let my body adjust to the time difference before my first day on the job. 

Of course I had woken up three entire hours before my alarm went off. So when I get to the first media team meeting of the season, I have already had time to drink two coffees, go to the gym, shower, shave, do my jet black hair just to have a crisis and pin it up in a slicked back bun, do my makeup and send emails and make calls to the wedding venue to cancel it. I was on fire and wouldn’t let a little jetlag hold me down. 

The maroon turtleneck and black slacks I was wearing had already been decided on the evening before as to avoid any clothing disaster. I wasn’t exactly sure how to dress for a job like this - but as I step into the tall building from the busy streets of Dallas I can tell I’m overdressed. Many of the people around my age are dressed much more laid back than I’m used to, wearing hoodies and jeans - and to my biggest shock of all, sneakers.

As I walk across the entryway the sound of my heels tapping on the tiles echo around the building, my cheeks turning bright red. I knew people were turning to stare, but instead of looking back and checking, I rush to the elevator, slipping in through the doors and facing my reflection. Maybe I was overdressed, but I look nice. The gold earrings decorating my ears contrast against my light brown skin and black hair, making them pop. I smooth over my belt, fixing the way the golden buckle of it was sitting on my slacks when a man around my age walks in just as the doors are about to close.

“Hey there!” He greets me, a charming smile on his face and brown eyes twinkling. His friendliness is so intense it nearly startles me.

“Oh, hey!” I reply, turning towards him. For a moment he looks at me, blinking, perhaps waiting for me to keep talking but when I don’t he’s quick to pick up my slack.

“I’m Trey, I do media stuff for the Wings. Basically a glorified cameraman,” he explains lightheartedly. 

“I’m Zari, they just hired me to do social media actually,” I reply, shaking his hand firmly just like my dad always taught me to. There’s a sliver of recognition on Trey’s face as he takes in my words.

“Oh yeah! They said they hired someone new! Didn’t mention you were a Brit tho. Well shit we’re prolly gon’ be working together a lot then,” he says. It’s at that moment I decide that his enthusiasm isn’t fake even though it’s suspiciously intense. Maybe he’s just an energetic guy - maybe he’s just an American.

“I suppose yes!” I chuckle and look over the buttons of the lift. “So, perhaps you know which floor I need to go to then because I don’t?”

“Oh sure thing.” 

Pressing on the number 10, the elevator finally begins to move upwards. I’m fiddling with the rings around my fingers, a nervous habit I had.

“You nervous?” Trey asks, picking up on my queues quickly. Guess I wasn’t as composed as I’d liked.

“A bit,” I admit.

Trey chuckles and wraps an arm around my shoulder comfortingly - or I suppose it’s meant to be comforting but I didn’t particularly find it so. “You’ll do good, everyone’s chill here. Except the boss but you get used to her. You can relax, Zari.” As much as the man’s enthusiasm and touchiness shocked me, I was glad to have someone show me where to go instead of wandering around the floors aimlessly. 

In a corridor full of doors Trey picks the right one, opening it for me. Inside we find a team of 10 people or so sitting around a table, their discussion immediately coming to a halt when we step in, all eyes turning to me. I feel unease settle over me, but instead of panic I inhale and exhale. I knew I could do this, this was the only plan I had. I had never not had a plan B, a plan C before. This had to be it.

“You must be Izara,” a gravelling voice says as a red haired woman, likely in her 50s, stands up. She’s dressed much more corporate, a fitted blazer and a pencil skirt accentuating her curves. I immediately notice her brows, thin and sharp, appearing almost angry. I didn’t have to be told who this was, Trey’s description had been colourful enough for me to know she was my boss.

“Yes, well I go by Zari actually, if you don’t mind,” I say in a friendly tone, walking over in my black stilettos to shake her hand. 

“You kids and your nicknames, oh well. Zari’s fine, but don’t complain if I forget,” she sighs, clearly already bothered. “I’m Linda Halford, the managing media director for the Dallas Wings. We spoke on the phone.” 

Her eyes are blue and piercing, but there’s something about her straight forwardness that feels intriguing in contrast to the excessive friendliness of everyone else I’d met so far. Hell, even the cab driver tried to strike up a conversation after my flight. I wasn’t sure if I liked Linda or feared her - perhaps a bit of both.

“It’s nice to meet you in person,” I smile, sitting myself down on the chair Linda pulls out for me right next to her. All eyes were on me of course, the new girl. I just had to get through the first week and I’d be old news. Good old boring Izara. Just get through the week.

“I hope your travels went well,” Linda says distractedly, scrolling through a document on her laptop. As I open my mouth to answer, she keeps talking.

“Now, there are many big changes this year, and our media team has been… not up to par so to speak,” she glances up at Trey, and a couple of girls sitting next to him who I suppose I would be working with as well. 

“Thanks to Bueckers, we’re about to have a lot more eyes on us. So I hired Izara-” Zari. Just call me Zari. I bite the inside of my cheek not to correct her, she didn’t seem like the type of woman you correct. “and she’s gonna help us. She’s here to innovate, to come up with ideas to boost online exposure and to boost clicks. We need to get active on Tiktok, and whatever the kids use. I need daily content. No more editing videos for weeks before posting them on Youtube, Trey.”

“My bad,” Trey says, making everyone chuckle, his eyes sparkling when they land on me.

Linda looks at him disapprovingly before continuing.

“We are sitting on a goldmine now guys. Paige Bueckers has over 2 million followers on Instagram. She is incredibly marketable, how do we use her best?” Linda asks, everyone going silent immediately, looking around, waiting for someone to bite. Fine, I will.

Clearing my throat I begin. “Well, I think it’s important that while we do use her to get clicks, we don’t make the Wings the “Paige Bueckers team” and repeat the same mistakes I personally think Indiana Fever did with CC,” My voice is steady, sure, even though deep inside I’m not quite certain about what I’m saying. I pause, composing myself - if there was one thing I was good at it was selling things with confidence. Even when I wasn’t. 

“I think we use her for clicks, make loads of content with her but use that content to uplift other players and the whole team. Not just Bueckers, not just Arike, but everyone.”

Linda nods. “Yes, Izara. How do we do that?” Zari. Just say Zari.

I shrug. “A lot of Paige’s fans are young, I’m not sure if some of them even watch the sport at all. So we try to get them intrigued. Not posting purely basketball content, but including some fan service should help with that, incentivise the young girls to get involved with the sport. There needs to be a balance.”

To my shock, when I raise my eyes from the table, Linda is smiling. It’s not the warmest smile, but one nevertheless.

“And this is why we had to hire someone all the way from England, because you guys couldn’t figure this out in this hellhole,” Linda scolds my colleagues. The praise feels good, but I really didn’t want to come off as a show off or soon my only friend in all of Dallas, Texas would be Linda Halford.

“Good job Zari, welcome to the team,” the redhead says firmly before returning to her notes. “Okay tomorrow we are all having a little Dallas Wings get together. The coaches, players, everyone so be prepared to go out after work.”

As I write this down in my calendar I’m interrupted by Linda again. “Izara.”

“Yes?” I ask.

“By the end of tomorrow I’m expecting you to be friendly with Bueckers. You’re gonna be working together a lot, I need you on her good side.”

-

“Thank God!” I groan to myself, kicking off my black stilettos the second I step into my new home. The league had provided me with an apartment until the end of the season. It was modern, nice, sleek but so incredibly impersonal it pained me. It didn’t feel like me at all, the blank white walls, the dull grey furniture. It wasn’t home.

I crash into the couch face first, mixture of jet lag and stress of the first day on the job taking over. Not only was I the new girl, but I was also the English girl. All day I’d been asked if we really eat beans on toast, and if I’d ever seen the Queen - mind you she passed in 2022. 

With too much left to do, I only let myself rest for a few minutes before getting up reluctantly, tiptoeing to my bedroom to start undressing. Throwing on a matching set of knitted cream coloured sweater and pants, I let my hair down, finally feeling comfortable.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash from the hallway, followed by even louder giggles and muffled yelps echoing around the building. Too curious about my neighbours, I step into my slippers and carefully open the door to see what’s going on.

“Bro, it’s not that heavy,” an accented voice groans probably a floor below me. Heavy steps on the stairs are closing in. Two people, I think.

“Lou, you’re kidding right?” Another girl complains, her voice bright.

“You’re too weak, just give it to me,” the other person argues, steps approaching me.

“Ha, no way, you’re just gon’ break my new plates. Ion trust you.”

“Next time you’re getting an at-home deliver- oh hey!”

A brunette girl with her hair down, only in basketball shorts and a sports bra sees me as she turns the corner, meeting my gaze as I peek through my door. She’s holding a cardboard box, full of pans and pots, hair sticking to her forehead from the humidity.

Suddenly the other girl appears, blonde, hair in a bun but other than that pretty much wearing the exact same thing.

“Who you talkin to- oh,” the blonde notices me, her blue eyes so intense my knees nearly buckle. 

“Sorry, we’re being really loud, we’re gonna try and keep quiet,” the brunette apologises. The blonde is still watching me, never breaking eye-contact. Feeling uneasy, my eyes flicker to the brunette and I smile politely.

“That’s fine, I was just checking if you were okay?” I ask. The blonde walks past my door, my eyes lingering for a millisecond on the way her biceps flex as she carries a large and apparently heavy box of plates towards the next flight of the stairs.

“We’re good, sorry ‘bout that,” the blonde answers, her voice now much quieter, less lively than before when it echoes around the halls.

“Okay well, maybe next time you should get at-home-delivery?” I suggest, watching as the girls struggle slowly up the stairs before retreating back into my apartment.

“That’s what I SAID!” The brunette complains loudly. I can still hear them bickering when I close the door, a smile spreading to my face. The first time I’ve genuinely laughed since I landed. 

It’s as if I knew those girls from somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it. Something about them was so familiar. It’s not till I hear them jogging back down for the next batch of boxes to carry upstairs, their voices loud enough to echo into my apartment, when I realise. 

“Paige I’m about to call Bob Bueckers to come help us soon, I’m dead serious.”

“You don’t got my dad’s number.”

“Pretty sure I do!”

Oh. Peeking out through the peephole my suspicions are confirmed. Walking past my door it indeed is Paige and Lou, bringing more kitchenware upstairs. And I didn’t even recognise them. I look down at my knitted set with a deep sigh. So much about being professional huh? I better make a good impression tomorrow.

-

taglist: @wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @sierrale8ne @lupinqs @lovegalor333 @d3arapril @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @bueckersfive @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch

[novaursa]

Caught by Fire

- Summary: A story where Daemon's daughter falls from the sky. And by some strange events orchestrated by fate, Otto catches you.

- Pairing: targ!reader/Otto Hightower

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Next part: the daughter

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @oxymakestheworldgoround

The streets of King’s Landing were alive with noise and color as the festival in the lower city reached its peak. Crowds pressed against one another, the air thick with the scent of roasted meats, honeyed wine, and the tang of the Blackwater rushing nearby. Musicians played bawdy tunes on lutes and pipes, their notes dancing over the clamor of merchants hawking their wares. It was a scene Lord Otto Hightower had no intention of witnessing firsthand.

Yet here he was, against his better judgment, striding through the chaos, his brocade cloak trailing through the muck of the streets. Beside him, Lord Jasper Wylde, known for his rakish charm and devil-may-care attitude, laughed heartily at Otto’s perpetual scowl.

“Come now, Lord Hand,” Jasper chided, slapping Otto’s shoulder with mock camaraderie. “Even the most dour of men must loosen their chains every now and then. You’re beginning to make Ser Harrold Westerling look positively jovial.”

Otto’s glare was as cold as the winds of the Reach. “I’ve no business in this rabble. My duty is to the Crown, not to trifling entertainments.”

Jasper waved a dismissive hand. “The Crown will not collapse because the Hand of the King partakes in a cup of mulled wine and watches a few fire-eaters. If anything, it might remind the people that their lords are not entirely made of stone.”

Otto sighed heavily but allowed Jasper to lead him further into the throng. He was keenly aware of the eyes upon him—common folk staring with mixtures of awe and suspicion at the austere man in his fine attire. It was rare for a lord of Otto’s stature to mingle so closely with the smallfolk, and rarer still for the Hand of the King to do so.

As they turned a corner, Jasper grinned and pointed toward a colorful tent pitched near the edge of the square. A sign hanging from its entrance read, Madame Lysara: Seer of Fates, Whisperer of Truths.

“You must be joking,” Otto muttered, his tone flat.

“Not at all,” Jasper replied, already tugging him toward the tent. “What’s a festival without a bit of harmless folly? Let’s see what the stars have to say about the great and mighty Lord Hightower.”

“I’ve no patience for charlatans.”

“And I’ve no patience for your endless brooding,” Jasper countered, shooting Otto a wicked grin. “Humor me, my lord. Consider it penance for dragging you out of your tower.”

Reluctantly, Otto allowed himself to be ushered inside the tent. The interior was dimly lit by flickering candles, their wax pooling onto an intricately patterned rug. The air was heavy with the scent of incense, sweet and cloying. Madame Lysara, a woman of indeterminate age with piercing eyes and a dramatic cascade of silver hair, sat behind a low table strewn with cards, crystals, and curious trinkets.

“Ah,” she purred, her voice low and melodic. “A man of great stature, though burdened by the weight of his own making. Please, sit.”

Otto remained standing, his expression carved from granite. Jasper, on the other hand, plopped down onto a stool with the enthusiasm of a man half his age. “He’s a stubborn one, isn’t he?” Jasper quipped, jerking a thumb toward Otto.

“Such men often are,” Lysara said, her gaze never leaving Otto’s. “But the stars speak even to the unyielding.”

Otto crossed his arms. “I’ll not pay coin for empty words.”

“Then you risk hearing the truth for free,” Lysara retorted smoothly, drawing a card from her deck and placing it face-up on the table. The illustration depicted a tower struck by lightning, figures tumbling from its heights.

Jasper leaned forward, his curiosity piqued. “What does it mean?”

Lysara’s lips curved into a knowing smile. “A great change approaches—a shift that will shake the very foundation of his life. And at its heart, a woman.”

Otto’s brow furrowed, his patience wearing thin. “If this is your attempt at flattery, it’s wasted.”

“Not flattery, my lord,” Lysara said, her tone soft but insistent. She drew another card, this one showing a figure falling through the air, arms outstretched. “The woman destined for you will arrive as if from the heavens, a gift of fate. She will bring chaos, but also clarity. And you,” she added, fixing Otto with a penetrating look, “will catch her as she falls.”

Jasper let out a bark of laughter. “Falls from the heavens, you say? Well, Otto, I do hope you’re prepared to catch an angel.”

Otto’s lips pressed into a thin line. “This is nonsense.”

“Perhaps,” Lysara allowed, gathering her cards. “But nonsense often carries a grain of truth.”

Jasper clapped Otto on the back as they exited the tent, his laughter echoing into the night. “Well, my friend, it seems your days of solitude are numbered. A woman falling from the sky—what a sight that will be!”

Otto ignored him, his mind already dismissing the fortune-teller’s words as the drivel they were. Yet, as they walked back toward the Red Keep, a faint unease settled in his chest. He told himself it was the incense clinging to his clothes, the noise of the city, the sheer absurdity of it all.

But the image lingered: a figure falling, and his arms reaching out to catch her.

The day began like any other, the city bathed in pale sunlight, the streets bustling with their usual chaos. Lord Otto Hightower stood on the steps of the Great Sept, flanked by a small retinue of guards. A heated discussion with Lord Beesbury over tariffs had drawn him away from the Red Keep, and though Otto’s attention was fixed on matters of governance, his thoughts were distracted by the open sky above. The festival's fortune-teller, and her ridiculous prediction, had faded into the back of his mind. Yet, when his gaze drifted upward, he found himself momentarily lost in the endless expanse of blue.

“My lord,” Ser Arryk interrupted, snapping Otto from his reverie. “Shall we return to the Keep?”

Otto adjusted his cloak, nodding briskly. “Yes, the king waits on no man.”

The party began its descent from the Sept, Otto leading the way with measured steps. He barely noticed the city around him, his mind preoccupied with the endless demands of his position. But then, a shadow passed over the sun. A large shadow.

Above the city, a dragon’s roar pierced the air, its deep, bone-shaking timbre sending the smallfolk scattering. Otto froze, his head snapping upward as a magnificent beast streaked through the sky—a dragon, its scales glinting like molten bronze in the sunlight. It swooped low, its rider clinging tightly to the saddle.

You had taken to the skies on a whim, your dragon restless and your heart yearning for the open air. Vermithor’s powerful wings carried you effortlessly above the city, the wind tugging at your hair. Below, the world seemed so small, so inconsequential, and you reveled in the freedom that came with flying. But then, as Vermithor banked sharply to avoid an incoming flock of ravens, the unthinkable happened.

The saddle strap—worn from battle and flight—gave way.

You barely had time to gasp before you were tumbling, the air rushing past you in a deafening roar.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sensation of falling. Panic clawed at your chest, but instinct kicked in. You tried to right yourself, arms flailing, the ground rushing closer with terrifying speed. Vermithor’s roar echoed somewhere above, the dragon circling back too late to catch you.

On the ground, Otto saw you before anyone else did—a figure hurtling toward him from the heavens. The memory of the fortune-teller’s words hit him like a physical blow.

She will bring chaos, but also clarity. And you will catch her as she falls.

“Seven hells,” he muttered, his voice barely audible over the commotion.

The guards around him shouted, some scattering while others moved to shield him. But Otto stood rooted to the spot, his eyes locked on the falling figure. Instinct, or perhaps fate, took hold. As you plummeted toward him, he stepped forward, bracing himself.

You collided with him in a tangle of limbs and motion, the force of your fall driving him backward. The impact knocked the breath from his lungs, and the two of you tumbled to the ground in an ungraceful heap.

“Gods,” Otto groaned, his body aching as he struggled to push himself upright. “Are you—”

“Get off me,” you hissed, shoving at his chest.

Otto blinked, stunned. He hadn’t expected the woman in the prophecy to be so…fiery.

“Forgive me, my lady,” he bit out, his tone clipped. “But you are the one who fell from the sky.”

You scrambled to your feet, brushing yourself off and glaring at him. “I didn’t ask you to catch me.”

“Should I have let you splatter against the cobblestones, then?”

Your retort died on your lips as Vermithor landed behind you with a thunderous roar, his massive frame dwarfing the surrounding buildings. The dragon’s eyes burned with protective fury as he lowered his head toward you, his hot breath ruffling your hair.

“Easy, boy,” you murmured, placing a hand on his snout to calm him. “I’m fine.”

Otto watched the exchange with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “You… you’re Daemon Targaryen’s daughter.”

You turned to him, your silver hair catching the light. “And you’re Otto Hightower.”

He inclined his head, his expression unreadable. “I suppose that makes us…acquainted.”

“Hardly,” you replied, your gaze flickering over him. “But I suppose I owe you thanks.”

“Thanks?” He raised a brow. “I’ve just saved you from death, my lady. I’d say you owe me more than that.”

You smirked, a spark of mischief in your dark violet eyes. “A debt I shall repay. Perhaps I’ll save you one day, Lord Hightower. If you’re lucky.”

Before he could respond, you swung yourself onto Vermithor’s back with practiced ease. The dragon let out a low rumble, his wings unfurling.

Otto stepped back, watching as you rose into the sky, the dragon’s powerful wings stirring the air around him.

Jasper Wylde appeared at his side, his face alight with amusement. “Well, Otto,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder. “It seems the fortune-teller was right. She fell from the heavens straight into your arms.”

Otto scowled, brushing Jasper’s hand away. “Not a word of this to anyone.”

But as the dragon disappeared into the horizon, Otto couldn’t help but wonder if fate had just played its hand—and if he was ready for what was to come.

The Great Hall of the Red Keep buzzed with conversation as courtiers gathered for the day’s proceedings. Sunlight streamed through the high windows, but the warmth of the room was undercut by the ever-present tension that came with power games and politics. Lord Otto Hightower stood near the dais, his face a mask of composure as he observed the assembled nobles.

He was in the middle of a conversation with Lord Beesbury when the heavy doors swung open, and the clamor in the hall faltered.

Daemon Targaryen strode in, his presence commanding and unmistakable. His long silver hair caught the light, and the black-and-red tunic he wore bore the three-headed dragon of his house, the fabric rich and imposing. His dark violet eyes scanned the room with a mixture of boredom and disdain, and the edges of his lips curled in the faintest smirk as courtiers parted before him like leaves before a storm.

Otto’s spine stiffened.

It had been moons since the incident with you—Daemon’s daughter—had left him both bemused and bruised, and while the Hand had worked to compartmentalize the events, he knew well that Daemon had likely heard of them by now. Targaryens, after all, had a way of knowing things they shouldn’t.

Sure enough, Daemon’s gaze landed on Otto. The Hand braced himself, his grip on his staff tightening as the Rogue Prince began to make his way toward him.

“Ah, Lord Hightower,” Daemon drawled, his tone dripping with mock civility as he approached. “Still alive, I see. Good. I was beginning to think the gods had finally grown tired of you.”

Otto inclined his head slightly, his expression carefully neutral. “Prince Daemon. What an unexpected pleasure.”

“I’m sure it is,” Daemon replied, his smirk widening. He glanced around the hall before leaning in slightly, lowering his voice just enough to make the exchange feel intimate—and pointed. “Tell me, how are your arms? I imagine catching my daughter must have been… taxing.”

Otto’s jaw tightened, but he refused to take the bait. “Your daughter is fortunate to have been spared a far worse fate. Though I must say, her impulsiveness is… troubling.”

Daemon barked a laugh, drawing the attention of nearby courtiers. “Troubling? Coming from you, Hightower, that’s rich. Impulsiveness is a Targaryen birthright, or have you forgotten?”

Otto met Daemon’s gaze evenly. “A birthright that often ends in disaster.”

Daemon’s expression hardened for a moment, but then he smiled, sharp and wolfish. “And yet, here she stands—alive and well. A miracle, wouldn’t you say? Perhaps the gods themselves decided to spare her and gift you the privilege of her company.”

Otto resisted the urge to roll his eyes, keeping his tone measured. “I consider it my duty to protect the realm, regardless of who requires aid.”

Daemon tilted his head, studying Otto as though he were some peculiar creature on display. “Duty,” he mused, his voice dripping with disdain. “You wear that word like armor, don’t you? As if it can shield you from everything—including the truth.”

Otto’s brow furrowed. “And what truth is that, Prince Daemon?”

“That no matter how high you climb or how tightly you clutch your precious titles, fate will always find a way to humble you,” Daemon said, stepping closer. His voice dropped to a near-whisper, the words meant for Otto alone. “And if fate doesn’t… I will.”

The two men stood in tense silence for a moment, the air between them charged. Finally, Otto straightened, his face carefully impassive. “If that is a threat, my prince, I would advise you to reconsider. The king does not take kindly to such talk.”

Daemon’s grin widened. “Oh, it’s not a threat, Lord Hightower. Merely a promise.”

With that, he stepped back, his posture relaxed once more as he cast a casual glance around the room. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must find my daughter. I hear she’s taken a liking to… wandering.”

Otto’s lips thinned, but he said nothing as Daemon sauntered off, his presence drawing the eyes of every courtier he passed. The Hand of the King remained where he stood, his thoughts swirling as he replayed the conversation.

If there was one thing Otto Hightower knew, it was that the game of thrones was never without its challenges—and Daemon Targaryen was one of the most unpredictable of them all.

The private solar of Lord Otto Hightower was a haven of calm compared to the bustling chaos of the court. The Hand of the King sat at his desk, a pile of correspondence before him, his quill moving steadily across parchment. Outside, the muffled sounds of King’s Landing filtered in—distant voices, the clatter of hooves, the occasional toll of bells. It was the sort of environment Otto found productive. Or at least, it usually was.

Today, however, Lord Jasper Wylde’s persistent presence threatened to unravel Otto’s carefully maintained composure.

Jasper lounged in a chair across from Otto, sipping from a goblet of wine and grinning like a man with a secret. For the past few minutes, he had been circling the same topic with infuriating persistence, and Otto’s patience was wearing thin.

“When will you act, my lord?” Jasper asked at last, setting his goblet down with an exaggerated flourish.

Otto didn’t look up from his parchment. “Act on what?”

Jasper chuckled, leaning forward conspiratorially. “The prophecy, of course. The fortune-teller. The princess.”

The scratch of Otto’s quill stopped abruptly. He slowly lifted his gaze to meet Jasper’s, his expression carefully neutral but his tone as cutting as a blade. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, don’t be coy,” Jasper replied, waving a hand dismissively. “The gods themselves have practically handed her to you on a silver platter. A Targaryen princess—Daemon’s daughter, no less—falls from the heavens and into your arms, and you mean to tell me you’re not even considering the possibility?”

Otto set his quill down with deliberate precision. “Considering what, Lord Wylde? That I should ‘act,’ as you so vaguely put it? On the basis of a festival charlatan’s ramblings?”

Jasper smirked, undeterred. “Oh, come now. You and I both know it wasn’t just ramblings. The woman spoke true, did she not? She said a woman would fall from the sky and into your arms. And lo and behold, the princess did exactly that.”

Otto’s jaw tightened. “The circumstances of her fall were nothing more than a cruel twist of fate. There is no grand meaning to be found in it.”

“Isn’t there?” Jasper pressed, his grin widening. “You’ve spent years advising the king, orchestrating alliances, and navigating the treacheries of court. Yet when fate hands you a moment as undeniable as this, you choose to ignore it? Why?”

Otto leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap. “Because she is a princess, Lord Wylde. A Targaryen princess. The daughter of Daemon Targaryen, a man whose disdain for me is well-documented. To approach her in any manner beyond what is strictly required by duty would be… unwise.”

Jasper raised a brow. “Unwise, or inconvenient?”

“Both,” Otto snapped, his voice low but firm. “She is not some court lady to be wooed with flattery or gifts. She is a dragon’s daughter, bound by blood and fire to a family that would see me undone given the slightest provocation. To involve myself with her would be folly.”

“And yet,” Jasper countered, leaning back with an infuriatingly smug expression, “she has already involved herself with you—whether by fate or accident. Tell me, Otto, has it occurred to you that this could be an opportunity? A chance to strengthen your position, to bind House Hightower even more to the blood of Old Valyria?”

Otto’s eyes narrowed. “At what cost? My life, perhaps? Daemon would kill me before I could so much as utter a word of intent.”

“Daemon wouldn’t dare,” Jasper said with a dismissive laugh. “Not openly, at least. He may be reckless, but even he wouldn’t risk the consequences of spilling the blood of the king’s Hand.”

Otto stood abruptly, the movement silencing Jasper mid-laugh. He placed his hands on the desk, leaning forward as he fixed Jasper with a piercing glare. “Listen well, Lord Wylde. Whatever foolish notions you have conjured up regarding myself and the princess, I suggest you abandon them at once. I will not jeopardize my position, my life, or the stability of the realm on the basis of a prophecy whispered in a smoky tent.”

Jasper met Otto’s gaze evenly, though the amusement never left his eyes. “Very well,” he said, rising to his feet and brushing imaginary dust from his tunic. “But mark my words, Otto. The gods are not so easily ignored. And neither, it seems, is the princess.”

With that, Jasper turned and strode toward the door, leaving Otto alone in the quiet of his solar. For a long moment, the Hand stood motionless, his thoughts a tempest of frustration and unease. At last, he sank back into his chair, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Foolishness,” he muttered to himself. But as he resumed his work, he couldn’t shake the memory of you falling from the sky—and the strange, inexplicable feeling that his life was no longer entirely his own.

[turningbloodypages]

could you do cullens (or just emmett) x reader with aspd?

Of course! 🫶 apologies for inaccuracies, i did as much research as i could

“You know i’m good on my own… you know, it’s more the being unknown.”

The Cullens/ASPD!reader

Edward

Though he doesn’t fully understand, he can relate to the general disregard for others

He let’s you stay close to him whenever you’re around other people, and tries his best to help regulate

You can’t really lie to him because he can read your mind, which is frustrating at times but it helps to break the habit

Your seemingly nonexistent worry about your safety tends to stress him out, but he does his best to keep you out of trouble

Distracts you by reading to you or taking you out into the woods with him

Got all your classes changed so he could keep you calm while at school

Deescalates any fights you may or may not get into

Overall just fusses over you all the time, trying to make sure you’re alright and everything

Alice

She knew what she was getting into, and she loves you all the same

Loves to sing to you to keep you regulated

Get’s upset when you lie to her or do something to hurt her feelings, but she tries not to show it too much

Any time you get into any complications in public she simply drags you to an empty room or bathroom

Which is frustrating at first but it usually works in terms of keeping you from getting hurt

Tries to work through your impulses by taking you to do the most adrenaline boosting things she can think of

I.E cliff jumping, running as fast as possible through the woods, taking you hunting with her

She loves having fun, and would rather work through things in an exciting way than try and pretend that you don’t get impulsive

Talks you out of trouble whenever you do end up getting yourself into it

She is quite the charmer

Rosalie

Like Edward, she can relate

Spends most of her time with you locked away in her room, doing something mundane like reading or watching a movie

Her approach is to just keep you from getting triggered

When you do inevitably get impulsive, she hypes you up and lets you take your frustration out

Once took you out into the woods to shoot nail guns out of trees

Let you tire yourself out and then takes you home to take care of you

Gives you a warm bath and sings you lullubies

Emmett

Would definitely take you to a rage room

Tries to make you laugh whenever you get upset

This works most of the time

Distracts you with the most ridiculous games

You’ll be about to get into a fight and he’ll go “if you can beat me to that tree i’ll take you to get ice cream”

Other honorable mentions are attempting to beat him arm wrestling (he puts up a good fight but lets you win once you tire yourself out)

Playing baseball with him and his brothers when you’ve had a hard day

Tree climbing contests

Trying to catch squirrels (surprisingly difficult for all parties involved)

Will also resort to bear hugs if necessary

You can’t punch anybody if you’re in the muddle of having being squeezed half to death

Jasper

His ability to influence emotions is a huge help

He’s able to keep you calm in most situations

When he can’t, he’s good at talking you through impulses

He understands what it feels like to have a lack of control, and he teaches you coping methods and ways to stay calm

Finds new hobbies for you guys to try together to distract from stress

Can tell when you’re lying to him, but usually doesn’t say anything

He lets you tell the truth and come to him when you’re ready

Lots of physical touch therapy

Always holding your hand whenever you go anywhere, making sure to keep you focused on him and not the crowds

Carlisle

His medical background makes it easy for him to help you

He figures out what triggers you and stays prepared for any situation

Lots of talk therapy and discussing your feelings

He’s very civil when it comes to any altercation you may get into

Never gets angry with you, but makes sure to talk to you about what happened and discuss how you can cope better next time

He understands that it wont always be easy, and he’s there to support you on hard or stressful days

Never forces you to do anything your uncomfortable with

Likes to take you out to quiet places (library, hiking trails, etc) to try and help you cope better with being around others

But will gladly have a night in with you if you request

Esme

Doesn’t understand at first why you wouldn’t enjoy being around others

But she does her research and learns how to help

Likes cooking and baking and having you help her

Will plan the most elaborate movie/cuddle nights

Loves reading to you, singing, anything you want

Reminds you that the way you feel is okay and that she’s always there to talk

Never forces you to open up, but it the best at helping when you do

She gives wonderful advice

Always makes sure that the rest of her family knows how to support you in case she’s not there

Be prepared for the most kisses

Vampire!Bella

Tries her best to get it

She knows what it feels like to not really want to be around other people, but thats the extent of her understanding

Very protective of you, even when you don’t need it

Stands up for you whenever you get into disagreements/fights, makes sure nobody gets hurt

She was never too good at talking about her feelings, so she never pushes you to do the same

Always there if you do reach out though

Would get frustrated over lying/attempted manipulation, but reminds herself that it’s not exactly your fault

Would do petty crime with you

[gazorninplat]

As much as I love Disco Elysium, I think I was not prepared for Sacred and Terrible Air. Of course, I was expecting to know more about the world of Elysium as a whole, and Robert Kurvitz is a very good writer, but the thesis of the novel (and how it makes its points) flash-banged me.

Disco Elysium this is not, and it wasn’t supposed to be, but I think I can understand better now what the team at ZA/UM was getting at with this specific setting, and these specific narrative angles. Kinda messy, because it’s been a week since I finished it, but here are some things I’d like to highlight: 

1. The pedophilia. I surely wasn’t expecting this to be such a central theme of the novel, but a lot of its main points revolve around it. The most interesting use of this, as a narrative device, is how the girlfriend of Jesper basically accuses him of being a pedophile because he cannot relate to the adults around him. He’s still obsessed with a girl he met when he was 13 years old, and fetishizes a scrunchie he stole from her bag two decades ago. Yeah, I guess Jesper, well into his thirties, is still in love with a 13 year old girl. His girlfriend is almost half his age, and they started dating when she was 15 years old and a lingerie model (!). Zigi mentions how pedophilia was a bougie disease, and well… That idea went right into my thought cabinet (I call it “Bougie Babies for Sale).

Still processing it.

Now, let’s go back to the rest of the main characters. With all this in mind, a pedophilic overtone covers their interest in these four missing girls, but Jasper is the only one who acts on it, sort of. Khan remains in a sort of arrested development (he still uses a shirt he had when he was 13), foregoing normal adult relationships, and Tereesz joins the police as an investigator with the idea of still finding them some day (essentially letting these eternally prepubescent girls define his entire existence), leading him to a very dark path. I wonder if the brutality they afford to the “actual” pedophiles in the story (Vidkun Hird and the Linoleum Salesman) comes from the realization that they are not that different?

2. Obviously, though, this fetishization of the Lund sisters is also a fetishization of the past. The novel states it in the first few pages; they disappeared twenty years ago, in a time that most conservative people remember as the “good old days”. Basically their version of the American Fifties. Now, being obsessed with the past is a running theme in both SaTA and DE, but the angle here is different.

I already said it: the past is not remembered, is fetishized with an almost sexual yearning by a lot of the male characters of the book. They want to be consumed by it (and lucky them! It will) and do nothing more than serve it. It reminds me of a poem by Yamil Nardil Sadek, which, translated to the best of my ability, goes like: 

She awaits me

sitting on the bed,

wearing leather,

and armed to the teeth,

the Memory.

Yeah, that sums up Sacred and Terrible Air pretty well. Everyone is being consumed by the past, bite by bite, and enjoying it. Vidkun Hird, by the mythologized version of his tribe’s history; Sarjan Ambartsumjan, by a miniature ship model that requires constant, devoted thought or else it will disappear, the three main characters by the memory of that summer with the Lund girls. Even the Linoleum Salesman is being haunted and consumed, of sorts, by his sickness and dementia that only sometimes let him take a peek of the past. Beyond that, there are very few characters that do not spend time being followed by relentless ghosts. Literally, in the case of Zigi. Which brings me to…

3. The Pale. It was a really cool concept in Disco Elysium, and it’s an existential nightmare in Sacred and Terrible Air. It always was, really. But here it lets you take a look into it in a way that’s applicable in real life. The Pale is a metaphor for many things, but actually for a single one: A world where our current Capitalist reality facilitates both apathy and yearning for better days, often idealized in our collective pasts.

My favorite scene, one that was incredibly puzzling but so obvious in retrospect, is a beautiful speech by the ghost (?) of Ignus Nilsen to Zigi. I will just paste it here:

“I said terrible things, yes! I stood on a white horse, in a blizzard, and gave speeches. In the mountains, on the construction site… I swung my sword, with silver sunbeams on the hilt. And all around me fluttered white flags, crests of crowned horns made with silver thread, a pentagon between the prongs of the horns, the branches raised to heaven. Everyone who came here with me became happy, Zigi! Communism is powerful! Believe in Communism, it’s a burst of enthusiasm! I promise! It’s beautiful when you believe in a person, but without it…!”

“Without it, there is nothing.”

“Nothing. It was a blizzard, but it was bright, it was morning. Communism is white, it sparkles! Communism is the morning, it is a jubilation!” 

The Pale begins to recede dangerously around the entroponaut.

The fucking Pale recedes with talk of Communism! At first it might appear a little heavy handed (yeah, Communism, by itself, could save the world). But then I got into how Communism could be a solution to the antipathy and chronic nostalgia that sustain Capitalism, and then it hit me. Nilsen, a literal ghost from the past, is talking about a future that could have been. That he wanted to accomplish. That people, probably, can still achieve. The Pale is not eternal, it can be pushed back. Because the Pale seems to subsist on the past, it abhors any talk of the future. A better future. That’s how we solve things, and for a central thesis, is not bad at all.

With that being said, and because I’m just rambling here while pretending I’m working, there are also some things that I just didn’t understand, but maybe it was because of the translation. The original novel is written in a very poetic style, and some of that is still here, but I still need to untangle…

1. The Man. It is said that the day the Lund girls disappeared, they were joined by a mysterious Man that nobody seemed to remember correctly. A character even suspects that she was remembering wrong. Now, the Pale erases people and memories retroactively, so maybe it had something to do with it, but… Who was that? Is there any theory about that Man, or I just missed something? Some scenes and narrations were tough to parse for me (my primary language is not English).

2. Was Malin Lund pregnant? That flash with the fetus was sudden and weird.

3. What was the significance of the three meat piroshkis? They mention that it was unusual that the girls bought them (and if you do the math, you can realize early on that they were not planning to get back home. That purchase didn’t leave them enough money for the bus fare back), but that’s it. Were they for the Man? Also, the narration mentions that Lund girls’ picnic basket contained “the kind of things girls like to eat”, so maybe they were planning to see the boys and bring them the kind of things boys eat? I’m overthinking that? The chapter actually titled “Three Meat Piroshkis” just left me even more confused.

4. I don’t understand how Khan’s pen works at all. The one he brought to the school reunion. That was the part I re-read the most. Anyway, even with that, I loved Sacred and Terrible Air. Definitely one of the most enthralling reads I had, with or without the background of Disco Elysium. I’d still like an official translation that could potentially solve the issues I had, but for now, a Top 10 Book for me.

Go for it now.

[t-a-a-1]

The Darkest Hour

Ch.4: Guardian

Summary: After being labeled as crazy for trying to report that robot aliens exist on national television, you lose your job and move to Jasper City. In a drastic turn of fate, you meet Optimus Prime. You and Team Prime get together to find ancient relics that are vital to the Autobot's cause.

Along the way, you and Optimus start to develop feelings that go beyond comradeship.

But what happens when he discovers you've been lying all of this time?

For a better reading experience you can read this story on Ao3:

>>>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60642838/chapters/157365316

Ch.4: Guardians

     It was rather quiet at the base. Ratchet sometimes would look at the hangar's elevated floor. He thought he would see you there. He didn't find you as annoying as other humans. You were rather curious. Asking about all things Cybertronian. It was like talking to a child sometimes but he didn't mind explaining especially when you had questions about Cybertronian biology.

    He didn't want to admit it but he-

Beep. Beep.

"Oh? I got a video from (Y/n)!"

    Ratchet hears Jack exclaim from the sofa and this immediately gets his attention.

"I don't have enough time. I have been abducted by Decepticons. I'll lead them to the relic located in Fingal's Cave, Northern Ireland two days from now. Retrieve my cell phone from my house. I am sorry."

.

.

.

    You didn't have time.

You rapidly click 'sent' before breaking your laptop in half. You know they were coming for you and as soon as you heard the doors open, you quickly grabbed one cigarette.

    Two Decepticons dragged you across the Nemesis. You couldn't walk a lot, probably due to a broken bone or something else.

    It took about three minutes to reach another door. Everything looked the same except for a few purple colors and other doors that had guards.

    One of the doors opened and the two Decepticons pushed you inside, making fall to the floor.

"What is our status with the machine?"

"We still need to make modifications. The human mind is different from that of a Cybertronian," Knockout tried his best to figure out a way to make his machinery work. "Getting into her memories will be difficult without the proper materials."

"Then I trust that you will be making progress soon, Knockout."

    The lights in the room blinded you.  Not because they were too bright but due that you were deprived of light for two days.

    Two Decepticons carried you by the arms, you were too weak to walk, your stomach hurts, your head too and your energy was low.

"Prisoner was seen scavenging on the vault."

"I was looking for food!" you muster all the strength you had to defend yourself. "I've been here for two days and haven't eaten a thing."

"Wasn't the Energon cup I left on your cell enough?"

    The Decepticon was an automobile that you found a bit strange but you didn't have the right mind to question it. Things were just the way they were.

"Humans don't eat Energon, I'll die! Shouldn't you be smart enough to know that?"

    A taller figure walks in front of you. His steps made the entire floor move but you had gotten used to the feeling of it. He studies you, walks around you and his optics pierce through your soul.

"The fact that you are still standing after yesterday's event is admirable. I wouldn't expect anything less from Optimus' pet."

    You didn't like the sound of that but you were too tired to fight it. Your body is in pain from all the bruises and maybe a few other injuries. They had beat you up after you refused to speak. It wasn't for a long time, Megatron seemed to know that you would be a difficult one.

"What were you looking for in the vault?"

    Megatron asks and you don't say a word. You look away.

"I won't ask again," he gets closer to your face. So close that you could see his optics and the mechanics behind it. There wasn't a single thing that didn't move as small as it seemed. Everything had a function and it fascinated you. "What were you looking for in the vault? Was it your bag? Anything of importance in there?"

    You took a few seconds to respond and you raised a hand. You slowly opened it, putting one cigarette in front of his face.

"What is this ... artifact?"

    Megatron takes the cigarette in his hand, inspecting it.

"I was looking for my bag ... because I wanted that. It makes me less hungry."

    The Decepticon leader drops the cigarette on the floor and steps on it. Crushing your hopes.

"Pain may not be enough to make you speak," Megatron keeps looking at you and as much as you would like to keep the eye-staring contest, you struggle to keep your eyes open.

"But let's wait and see how you react after hunger takes over you."

"I won't talk."

    It hurts to even do so.

"Oh, but all of this would be so much easier if you did," he turns around and walks towards a berth. One that is not completely functional. At least it doesn't work with humans. Yet. "Regardless, we'll get what we want. Talk or do not talk, the choice is yours."

...

    It has been a couple of days since you had left the base. It has been quiet around here without you. The kids can be a bit nosey but nothing the Autobots couldn't handle.

    Optimus wonders what you would do if you were here. Would you be on your laptop? Maybe have a conversation with him? If you wanted, he could talk to you for hours, giving you information about Cybertronian culture. In exchange, he could ask you about human traditions. After the talk you two had about the human process of creating life, he was particularly curious about the human body.

    He had just come back from patrol duty with Bumblebee when he heard a lot of talking between his Autobot friends.

"Optimus!"

    Ratchet's preoccupied voice was something he wasn't fond of. It could mean two things. One, someone had messed up with one of his experiments. Two, bad news.

"(Y/N) has been captured by the Decepticons!"

Or three. Horrible news.

....

Bombs. Guns. Granades.

Screams. Fire. Blood. Pain. 

    When you were told that you were going to report on the war in a faraway land, you were excited. This was going to be your big step. The thing that will mark your career forever.

And it did mark you. Forever. But in ways you thought unimaginable.

It wasn't until you saw men, women and children being killed that you truly realized how stupid the world really is. It's a war and no one ever wins. So why? Why?

"Will I ever stop ... being so useless?"

    Another day of not eating.

You didn't know when you were going to start to hallucinate. Maybe you already were. You wished you could smell the outside air. You had not realized how different the air is when the majority of living creatures occupying the area are alien robots. It's a different type of smell. Clean and sanitized, kinda like the smell of a hospital but with a more metal element to it.

    The doors from your prison cell open. You are thankful because you hated the dark. Not really a phobia but many thoughts cross your mind when there is no light around you.

    Megatron slowly makes his way towards you.

He is not that intimidating. Are you afraid? Yes, of course. But if you had to compare, Optimus had a more menacing frame. Although Megatron's eyes could frighten anyone, the way he moves and presents himself does not imply any harm. You won't underestimate him. Not a bit.

"I won't say a word."   

    You say as you look at him. You sat in a corner, nothing was tying you down. Not like it matters, it's not like you could do much against giant robots.

"I did not come here for that," his voice is way less intimidating. In different circumstances, Optimus could very well have been the villain. "I have come for a small conversation."

"If you think you can manipulate me into talking-"

"I would rather like to call it ... convincing you with words."

    You knew this was going to be an interesting conversation.

"Words are powerful."

    You say as he stands in front of you. You don't stand up, having a nice view of his posture. You can tell so much by the way someone moves.

"Agreed."

    You wait for a few seconds, keeping eye contact. The room didn't look so dark now as Megatron had this purple aura that surrounded him.

    You didn't know what he wanted but you were waiting for him to speak. But he was also studying you, trying to find the best way to talk to you.

"Eons ago, I was a young gladiator trying to survive."

    Out of everything, you didn't imagine Megatron to be a storyteller. Oh, but how much you loved a good tale. Especially the ones about myths and legends of great warriors doing the impossible. Even if it's a story about a bot becoming a destroyer of worlds.

"Every day, as I exited the pit after killing comrades, I would watch the upper classes cheer for me."

    He seems to remember the cheers, the chanting crowds. But his optics had changed, for a second, he was lost. Going back to those moments. There is some fear in them and you didn't know if he was being honest or it's another manipulation tactic.

"But what was there to cheer for? I had massacred Cybertronians. Someone like me and them."

    You didn't doubt his words. At least there is some truth to them, you could tell as much.

"I would kill as I watched them eat the best kind of Energon. Drink the rarest of oils and wear the highest of tech accessories."

    Megatron gets closer to you but he never kneels. He still believes he is above you. It's comical. Telling you stories about the inequality he suffered when there will never be a time he will see you as equal.

"Do you know what that feels like? Being tortured if you failed? Your spinal cord breaking and have no spare parts to repair it? While I see others throw parts into the pit, like their lives meant nothing."

    Rage. He is filled with it. Finally, an emotion you could sympathize with or at least recognize. You didn't break eye contact nor were afraid. If he wanted to kill you, he had done so a very long time ago. You are more curious and in awe at the being in front of you.

    His metal was damaged and scratched, his tall figure and spiky demeanor. He appears to be fierce, he had to be, otherwise he wouldn't be here. But you can't help and wonder if he had been allowed a different life, would he be different?

"I don't fight for freedom," Megatron says. "I fight for my survival."

    You sigh heavily and your eyes show nothing but exhaustion. You muster the strength to speak. You can't give him anything but your sympathy.

"... You must be so tired."

    You must be hallucinating because for a moment you could have sworn you saw something else in those red eyes.

    Megatron turns around, no longer allowing you to see his face.

"Optimus was just like those Cybertronians I hated and he continues to be one. The system I fight to break, he continues to fight to repair it."

He steals a glance your way and he notices your concern.

"He was part of the crowd. Enjoying every match, every death. Laughing as it happened. How did you think we met?"

    He walks back towards you but you notice his steps have become slower. The floor didn't tremble as much as if he was being careful without knowing.

"Oh? Didn't he tell you?"

    You part your sight away from his. After a heavy sigh, you take up the courage to look at him again.

"We've been looking for ancient Cybertronian relics," you don't have another option. You had to sacrifice a little bit of truth to survive. "We don't know their function yet but we believe that they might be parts of something bigger."

"And do you know the location of these relics?"

"Just of one, the rest of the information is on my cellphone."

    He seems to be interested now or rather atypical about your wording. He probably doesn't know certain terminology.

"And where is this cellphone you speak of?"

    You muster a smile. You know Megatron can be a great negotiator, but so are you.

"If you want to know, I'll have my bag. With my cigarettes."

....

Fingal's Cave, Northern Ireland.

    The night is dark and full of mysteries. Especially in dark caves where the waves of the sea clash against the rocks. It would have been a perfect vacation, had you not been kidnapped by evil alien robots. This might be nothing for them, maybe just a nice bubble bath. But to you? It's a certain death. You don't even know how to swim.

    You stand next to Megatron. Behind you, there are a few warrior Decepticons. It was cold and humid and your intrusive thoughts made you want to jump into the crazed waves.

"The relic should be right there," you point to one of the walls and Megatron quickly looks at his army. It took only one look for them to know what they were supposed to do. Excavate.

You waited for a few seconds and noticed how fast they were putting away rocks and dust. Soon they will reach the relic and once they have what they want they will take you back to the Nemesis.

    Suddenly, a green moving circle appears on the other side of the cave. You are a bit relieved. For a moment you genuinely thought they wouldn't appear.

    It's the first time you see a ground bridge. It's beautiful and even more the aliens coming out from it. Tall, big, strong. Everything you weren't and for a moment you feel guilty. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't be worrying about an insignificant life such as yours.

"Took you all long enough."

    Optimus stands in front of his team. A battle mask covers half of his face, he looks fierce. You had never seen him like this before. He was intimidating and you were a bit scared of what he could do.

"Let (y/n) go, Megatron."

"Did you bring her cell phone?"

    A shiver runs down your spine. You look up at him and he looks at you. Your eyes and his optics meet for a second. Unable to control your confusion, your voice betrayed you. With Megatron, showing emotion is a fatal mistake.

"What? How do you-"

"Nothing happens in the Nemesis without me knowing. Or do you think I was careless enough to leave your cell-door open?" his voice resonates within the containment of the cave. Not even the waves crashing could subside his voice. "I wanted you to contact them so they could do all the work for me."

"I am sure you must have led them to other relics. If they want you, they must turn them in as well."

    You began to panic, your plan was crumbling. It was your fault for believing you could outsmart a million-years living creature.

"It's not true! They don't have them, I never-"

"We have one."

    If looks could kill, your eyes would have killed Optimus. In fact, the Autobots have two relics. Optimus is lying and although a part of you is glad to know he could lie, right now you wish he had stayed quiet.

"Then you know what you must do."

    Megatron suddenly picks you up, putting you a few meters above the water level.

    You didn't know what to say. There was no guarantee that after receiving the relic, Megatron would let you go safely. Most importantly, you didn't understand. Why would the Autobots risk losing a valuable item over a human? There were many of you and only a few of those artifacts.

    Optimus doesn't hesitate and uses his comm-link. Speaking clearly, he calls Ratchet, ordering him to bring one relic through the ground bridge.

    Meanwhile, you see the Decepticons work on obtaining the other relic. They must be close as their excavation has become slower, maybe due that they do not want to damage the relic.

    You try to find a way to break free but Megatron's grasp is too strong.  Your body has started giving up, you haven't eaten in four days and your mouth tastes like cigarettes.

    After a few tense minutes, Ratchet comes from the groundbridge, holding the white pot that contained the relic. You instinctively move your head from side to side. You didn't want to be the reason they lost it.

"Starscream, retrieve the relic and the cell phone."

    You didn't notice the Commander before. Your senses must be failing you by now. He passes by Megatron and you know that if he could, he would push the leader of the Decepticons into the water.

"My pleasure, my liege."

    And as he passes by, you can see Ratchet's disappointed face. All of their faces, as a matter of fact. You hated being useless and being used. You thought that staying quiet was the best option. But after seeing Optimus hand down your cell phone to Starscream and his cocky smile, you couldn't have it.

"Just go!" you scream, hoping that your voice is loud enough. "I'll figure it out! You don't have to do this!"

    But it's like they weren't paying attention. Like your opinion didn't matter at all. Like you were a liability that had to be taken care of, not listened to.

    Ratchet hesitantly gives the white ceramic pot to Starscream who aggressively takes it in his claws. He happily walks back to his Master as if he had finished completing the hardest of missions.

"You have what you wanted. Now let her go!"

    Optimus threatens Megatron but it only amuses him. He looks at you, taking a few seconds to appreciate your face one last time.

"Lord Megatron, we have retrieved this place's relic."

    Starscream says as the army of Decepticons had successfully extracted the artifact and that's everything Megatron needed to hear.

"A deal it's a deal," Megatron crossed optics with Optimus.  "But this is for lying."

    He opens his claws, letting you go and dropping you into the wild waves.

    Megatron watches as Optimus jumps to save you. A selfless act, very much like him. What he was doing for you, he would do for anyone else. But there was something about it. Something that Megatron knew would catch Optimu's attention. Whatever it was, he would figure it out eventually. For now, he will let Prime have you. To let him enjoy his human pet as much as he can. Before taking you away.

"Next time, bring me all the relics you have, Prime. Or she will pay the price."

    Bulkhead, Arcee and Bumblebee didn't even hesitate to go after him. They focused on helping Optimus and it was too late regardless. Megatron was already one step inside the groundbrige, ready to go back to the Nemesis.

"How did you know they had more relics?" Starscream walks behind Megatron, curious about his actions.

"I didn't," he says. "It's all a bet. Besides ..."

    Megatron stops walking and quickly glances back. Getting a glimpse of Optimus coming out of the water, holding your fragile body.

"She's not half bad."

....

    The first thing that crossed your mind after waking up was ... work.

Fowler told you to not worry about it and that things had been taken care of.

    You didn't want to ask any further.

Especially after learning that you could no longer go back to your home.

    It took you a couple of days to recover.

Falling into the wild waters of Fingal's Cave had done more injuries than the ones the Decepticons inflicted on you. Your body crashed a few times into rocks before Optimus rescued you.

     But the pain in your body did not compare to the disappointment you feel.

    You couldn't even look at the Autobots without feeling ashamed.

Now you can't even go home now.

"I apologize as for you now have to remain here. But it must be in your best interest to stay since the Decepticons know of your home location."

    You didn't hear Optimus come through the rooftop door. Even with his massive steps and weight. Maybe you had gotten used to the sound of walking bots too fast.

"You may not be too fond of sharing a home but I promise you we are not too loud."

    The top of the hangar gave you the best view of the Nevada desert. With sad rocks and a few cacti... alright maybe it wasn't that visually appealing.

    But the night sky made up for it.

"I don't do good with people ... and bots," you pull out a cigarette from your jacket's pocket and light it up. Hearing Optimus coming closer and sitting down on the cliff with you.

    You immediately move away for a few centimeters, feeling uncomfortable at the closeness. You didn't notice your body had acted this way but Optimus did.

"I can sense some hostility emitting from you."

    Optimus optics lay on you but you wouldn't spare him a look.

"Optimus was just like those Cybertronians I hated and he continues to be one. The system I fight to break, he continues to fight to repair it."

    You didn't know if you should bring up the matter or just keep it to yourself. But after the events at the Nemesis, you find yourself unable to look at Optimus the same. Not like it matters much, but deep down, a part of you wanted to trust him ... to believe in him.

"If there are any concerns-"

"Megatron told me," you interrupt him, the act feels disrespectful but you hope he didn't feel like that. "That you used to enjoy watching him fight and kill others in the gladiator's pits. That you fight to bring the caste system back."

"While is true that I used to attend such activities, I never supported it," subconsciously, Optimus wanted you to look at him. He needed your acknowledgment, something you refused to give him at the moment.    

    "Megatron and I used to share similar ideologies. But he believed that equality could only be obtained if the other classes were eliminated."

"And you?"

"I believe that every sentient being has the ability to change."

    You let out a subsided laugh, looking down at your lap and then up again at the desert night.

    "So what? You were hoping to change a whole social class with pretty words and inspiring speeches?"

"We cannot build a new world founded on violence."

"And where has that led you? To a strange planet and your race almost extinct."

    He had good sentiments, you admired that but at some point you consider naivety to be stupidity.

"Cybertron will be rebuilt on tragedy," you say.

"And what am I supposed to do? Let him have his way?"

    You have noticed that Optimus speaks less formally when he finds himself in a tough spot. Now, it was one of those moments. Your words had hit a circuit but you didn't want for this to turn into an argument. Not when you wanted to gain his sympathy.

"I am not saying I know what's best. What I am saying is that I thought you..."

    You couldn't continue with your sentence. Because what you wanted to say was stupid and based on old ideas. Maybe deep down, you wished Optimus was that hero the world needed. But he was a leader. The leader of a war where there is no winner. He could only do what he did best. And that was making the hard decisions no one else could.

    You had put too much expectations on his shoulders. He can't be a hero and a leader at the same time. If he were to be a hero, he would have been dead long ago. But his team needed him alive, he couldn't afford to die a martyr. He must know that.

"Listen to me Prime," you called him by his first name. Now more than ever, you believe there will never be a time when you will call him by his first name. "Everyone is a slave to something. Even you are enslaved to your own stupid ideologies of hope."

    You were always precausious to never show your beliefs. Maybe years ago, you shared similar sentiments as Optimus. You saw yourself in him and you wanted to save him. Save him from the disappointment of the real truth of your world.

"But let me tell you this; you have those views because you lived through better times. You have tasted peace and solemnity," you had no stand to be lecturing him. Yet, you didn't see it that way. You were just speaking your feelings.

      "But them? Working as miners, being gladiators just for your entertainment? They never had what you did. This is their hope to have better times."

    You sigh heavily and feel your lungs struggle to breathe.

"And you just took that from them."

    Seconds turned into minutes and you thought Optimus would stand up and leave you alone. But he instinctively got closer to you. He probably didn't notice his actions.

"I used to really enjoy watching your old reports."

    The leader of the Autobots looks back fondly at the younger version of you. A few years back you had done a story about a small town that had been struck by a tornado. Many died and homes were destroyed.

    But instead of focusing on the downside of things, you talked about how the community came together to help each other build back their town. The resilience and strength. Optimus was inspired by how such small things could build things bigger than themselves.

     "Even when the report was about a catastrophic event, you always ended things positively."

"In the days where I had doubts, where I thought I couldn't do this anymore, I ... "

    He pauses, he can't understand the feeling in his spark but his voice box struggles to process words.

"I would watch you on TV and you would give me inspiration to continue my mission."

    His formality had dropped drastically and you wonder if this was his way to let his guard down and open up to you.

"But now that you are telling me this ... I think you are right," his voice cracks and your world crumbles.  "What is left worth fighting for?"

You didn't know Optimus could feel doubt and hesitancy. You are reminded of the power of words. How you, a small insignificant human could make a robot full of wisdom question the truth of his life? It was too much power and you didn't want it. You didn't want Optimus to view life the way you do. So pessimistic, so gloomy.

    You didn't believe in any of it, hope, love. None of that was enough to change the world. But Optimus didn't have to know that.

You wanted him to keep believing. To belive he could change the world with just words.

Fuck the truth.

"Megatron is full of rage," you say. "And sometimes rage allows us to live. To survive."

    You decide to overstep boundaries and you put a hand over his servo. But you don't look at him, too shy to do so.

"But faith does too."

    You were no one to question his beliefs. If you were completely honest, you would like to keep enjoying the company of this Optimus. The optimistic one, resilient, strong with unbreakable morals.

But in the back of your mind, the question still remains. There's no victory without sacrifice.

What if to win the war, to give meaning to the lives of fallen ones, he has to sacrifice his ideologies and beliefs?

What would you do ... Optimus?

"(Y/n)," Optimus calls your name so sweetly you feel your body shake up a little.

    He holds your hand, so delicately, so softly as if he is afraid of hurting you. As if he is afraid you might break. You had never been held so fondly,  your heart feels like melting.

"I have failed miserably in protecting you," He looks at your body and you feel like his optics pierce through your soul.  You feel seen but you didn't mind it one bit. "The injuries in your body are proof of it."

"I am aware we are strangers to titles but I would like to establish a new relationship."

    You didn't understand how he could make you feel in such a way. In a state of warmth and peace. How his presence alone was enough to comfort and heal wounds that go beyond physical pain.

"If you accept me as your guardian, I'll protect you and no harm shall ever find your way. I'll give my life for you if necessary. I'll do as you ask and have your safety as one of my purposes for living. Under these stars as a witness, I swear this to you."

    Like the stars above, there were many mysteries you didn't understand. You thought that maybe Optimus was one of those mysteries as well. Otherwise, you didn't understand how such a beautiful creature would ever put your life above his own. Does he see you as a bothersome being? Probably. But you don't mind. A part of you wanted to be protected by such a powerful creature. A righteous one at least. Maybe he does see you as a pet to be taken care of.

    But now that you think about it ... You don't mind devoting yourself to him either.

"I accept but under one condition," you wish you could be closer to his face, you feel a need to look closer at his optics.  "If you protect me ... then I'll take care of you."

"Care for me?"

"If you ever have doubts, if you feel lonely, or if you just want to talk,"  all of a sudden you feel shy and you quickly part your sight. You didn't have the time to think the reason why. "I want to share the burden of your decisions with you, please."

"You will do that for me?"

    He blinks multiple times, unsure of your words and you find this cute.

"You are willing to give up on your life for me," you make a small pause before continuing. "It's the least I can do."

    Looking at a desert wasn't fun. But talking always was. Especially with an alien robot with millions of years' worth of wisdom. It's strange how you always felt better after talking to Optimus. He doesn't seem to be the type to judge and that's what you appreciated the most about him.

"(Y/N), You have proven to be more than meets the eye," you hear his voice closer and immediately turn. He had slouched significantly to be able to see you face to face. It must be an uncomfortable position but he still made the effort to see you at an eye level.

    Maybe he also had a certain need to be as close as possible to you.

"I am glad the universe allowed us to encounter."

And before you could have the time to blush again, your brain replayed his words.

"Don't you mean optic? You guys don't have eyes."

    Optimus straightens his back, no longer looking at you. This time he looks up at the sky, he looks curiously at them. Putting a servo on his chin, he looks to be in deep thought.

"That is true. But that is an ancient saying of my people."

"If it's an ancient saying then can we assume your kind and mine have met before?"     You tilted your head, imagining the possibilities. You move your feet into a yoga position, feeling more comfortable.

"That is an interesting theory although I don't remember reading such things back at the archives. Maybe it's something worth investigating."

    Optimus also thought of the possibilities, maybe this could be tied to the relics.

"Oh! Do you want to investigate it together?" this could be an important piece to your report. It would also be more credible if you had an actual Transformer help you write on what is probably one of the greatest discoveries in human history.

     "We could write a report on it and give an informative presentation to the kids and the Autobots."

You put your hands up and them move them slowly in a parting motion.

"Cybertron and Earth: A Deeper Look Into Cybertronian-Human Relations and Why Our History Is Longer Than We Think."

The topic sounded more interesting to Optimus and the archivist in him started to show. You knew this by the way he would blink more often. It happened whenever something excited him.

"That sounds like a remarkable and revolutionary subject. I could try to look into Cybertron's' old archives and see if I can find something related to the topic."

If Optimus could always be excited like this, you wish you could hear him talk forever. Could he tell you all the stories and tales of his people. But would it hurt him to speak about them? To reminiscence the past may open old wounds and you didn't want to be the cause of it. You won't push it but you'll wait until he is ready.

"And I'll interview Fowler and see if he knows something or knows someone that knows more of the topic." That will be a challenge but there hasn't being a single person who never gave you an interview. Of course, you find your way. Ethical or not, it didn't matter as long as the truth was revealed.

"I  am looking forward to hearing about your findings."

"I am excited to look at your research too!"

That night you learned many things. About Optimus especially. About how he would blink a lot whenever something got him excited. About how he loses his formality in words when he gets comfortable, excited or angry. Things like this made him feel closer to you as if he wasn't from an alien race but rather just another living creature existing in the same universe. And that's exactly what it was.

One hour turned into two, then three, four. Time passed by so fast, just talking and enjoying each other company. You smoked a few cigarettes and promised Optimus to buy a few gallons of oil for him to enjoy next time.

Although you were still downhearted for being unable to return to your home, you tried to look at the bright side of things. It was something you weren't used to do. But being with Optimus, his optimism rubbed off on you.

    You two talked endlessly until you fell asleep on his servos. Optimus watched the sunrise; grateful to have met you, thinking how beautiful it was to love the ordinary. For at least, and with all the certainty in the universe he knew ... he was worthy of this.

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A/N: This chapter took longer than I expected and I think after this one I am going to work on another fic (from another fandom) because I am so close to finishing that story and I just haven't uploaded in sometime. But! I'll be writing one shots for tumblr. I'll start working on a one shot for Christmas! The poll is over and we have a winner. Thank you to everyone who voted and all the comments, notes and likes. I'll take my time to respond to each of you :) My inbox is always open for any comment, ideas, concerns or prompts ideas.

I definitely want for Reader and Optimus to have chemistry. I think it's very important to show interaction with each other and show why they are attracted instead of them just having them fall randomly? Like I want to show Optimus and Reader have similar interest and passions but having contrasting ideas. I'll probably have them dancing and being silly together at some point.

On the next chapter I'll have Reader do some actual work. She's gonna be undercover (she has to dress seductively to fit into the world of car racing where she meets a hot mechanic who teaches her a lot about cars and Optimus has to follow her around cause that's his job as his guardian. His circuits go crazy cause he can't understand why all of a sudden he finds a human attractive-)

I want Optimus to feel like he has something of his own, something only he can protect and take care of because he can and wants (by choice) and it's not forced upon him nor a responsibility to bear (like the matrix) and that lovely thing being you ofc.

Sorry for an errors and grammar mistakes, I don't proof read.

I also feel like I haven't used much of the other bots so I'll make sure to use them more often now if the plot requires it.

I think that's all for now. Thank you so much for reading and see you in the next chapter!

Previous Chapter:

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/768513873838030848/the-darkest-hour?source=share

Next Chapter: Soon

[lynzishell]

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Transcript below the cut:

[knock knock]

Atlas: It’s open!

Aspen: Tonton! Phoenix: She’s obsessed with that word now, so I’m pretty sure that’s just your name for the foreseeable future. Atlas: Better than ‘Asses’.

Dawn: I’m so happy to see you. Where’s Ash? How is he doing? Atlas: He’s okay. He’s taking a minute upstairs. I was just about to go check on him.

Aspen: Can I play? Spencer: Sure!

Atlas: Ash? Asher: Yeah.

Atlas: Well, this is new. Asher: What is? Atlas: You being the one to sneak away.

Asher: Now I know why you do it so often. It’s peaceful. Atlas: Yeah, it is. Dinner will be ready soon, but we have a few minutes. Can I join you? Asher: Sure.

Asher: We need to get a bigger apartment. Atlas: We do?

Asher: Yeah. I can’t keep using my parents’ house as storage, and it would be nice to be able to have all my stuff in one place. And if we’re serious about this company and this game, then we’ll need room to work. And you know that one day, when I’m ready, I’m gonna want to get another dog.

Atlas: I figured.

Asher: Jasper only lived here because this was his home, and I wasn’t going to downsize him to an apartment. But I will want the next one to live with us, and we can’t have that where we are now. Atlas: [lets out an exaggerated sigh… only half joking] You’re going to let that dog all over the furniture, aren’t you? Asher: You know it. On the sofa, even sleeping in our bed. You’re gonna hate it. Atlas: [breathes a laugh through his nose] Can’t wait.

Atlas: So, is this what you’ve been thinking about the whole time you’ve been up here? A new apartment? Asher: [shrugs] Kinda. It’s the only thing that keeps me from spiraling. Atlas: Spiraling about what?

Asher: [sighs] I just… I feel awful. I should’ve been here. I don’t know if he was in pain or scared. I should’ve been with him, to comfort him. He needed me, and I wasn’t here, and now he’s gone. [voice cracks] And I miss him so much.

Atlas: I know. Come here.

[knock at the door] Megan: Everything okay? Asher: Yeah. Fine. Megan: Dinner’s ready if you want to come down. Asher: We’ll be right there.

Asher: Fuck. [sniffles and wipes his eyes and nose with his sleeve] Okay, we should go. Atlas: Listen, if you want to hold off on the announcement— Asher: No. I don’t want to do that. It would feel like we’re keeping it secret or something. Besides, it will be nice to have something happy to celebrate.

Atlas: Okay. Let’s do it, then.

[silassinclair]

It’s my first time requesting, so I’m sorry if you don’t understand my bad english ;-;

May I request a GN readerx Yandere Wild West Outlaw (my brain can’t remember his name) with a reader who sleeps anywhere on anything? There will be one time this man has seen his darling somehow out of the ropes and is sleeping on the roof.

I understand if you don’t wanna do this request, but if you do it thank you from the bottom of my heart! <3

Always take care and take a break when needed~

This request is so silly I have to do it. Also your english is great, don’t sweat it!!

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Sleepy Reader

CW// Nothing, just wholesomeness

Masterlist

It’s yours and Maddox’s first night together after he took you from your home. You two are camping out in the desert by a cave. There’s a small fire lit and Maddox’s horse Jasper is munching on some carrots.

But it’s been awfully quiet, the outlaw thinks. Why is it so quiet?

He realizes it’s because of you! You’re usually always thrashing and screaming at him and now you aren’t!

He also realizes that you’re no where to be found… It makes him panic slightly. He shoots up from where he’s sat and he looks around the camp. The desert is dangerous, what if you got stung by a scorpion or bit by a rattlesnake!?

“You come out from where you’re hidin’ missy! Or I outta shoot-”

He nearly trips and falls flat on his face. Looking down he sees you taking a dirt nap, quite literally in the dirt. How did you get so far away from camp? Did you sleep walk? Fall asleep while trying to escape? Whatever it is Maddox doesn’t give a damn, he’s glad he found you.

“You’re a dumb little thing. What would you do without me?”

From this moment onward Maddox sees a repeating pattern. You sleep anytime, anywhere. And on occasion you can even “teleport”. He thought about calling a priest to perform an exorcism on you once.

“Sweet Jesus, this ain’t possible… How’d ya get out here!?”

When you fall asleep while on his horse he sits you in front of him so he can act as a back rest. He doesn’t want you falling off now.

Loves it when you fall asleep on him. You’re so vulnerable when you’re asleep like this. He can touch you without getting yelled at or smacked. So he takes advantage of it.

Combs his hands through your pretty locks of hair and caresses your plush cheeks. Sometimes when you squirm in your sleep from a nightmare he shushes you like a baby and rocks you back and forth.

Stays by your side from now on when you’re asleep after… the incident.

The Incident:

After over a week of being on horseback and foot Maddox finds an old house for them to settle in temporarily. It’s a cute house with victorian architecture. It’s definitely abandoned and all the owner’s belongings are still there. They most likely fled due to the Native American tribe near by but Maddox isn’t afraid of them. He actually gets along with the tribesmen better than the whites who hate him for being half American and half Mexican.

“This place is nice. It almost the same size as my old home.” Y/n mutters as she admires the decor. But her eyes feel heavy, she needs to sleep. This past week has been exhausting.

Maddox notices how worn out she is. She’ll be no good to him if she’s a mopey, tired slug. So he brings her upstairs to the main bedroom. The bed is dusty but it’ll have to make do.

“You’ll sleep here sweetheart. But I’m gonna have to tie ya’ down. I don’t need ya’ escaping now.” Maddox ties a rope from the bed post to her ankle.

Y/n doesn’t even bother to yell or fight back from being tied down. She just falls asleep immediately like a hibernating bear. When she’s asleep Maddox unpacks some supplies down in the living room. He also cooks up a can of beans and digs in.

It’s quiet. All his life he’s been alone, but he’ll never admit he feels lonely. He’s never had anyone to trust or rely on. Most nights he’ll sleep under the stars and talk to Jasper. But he’s a horse so talking to him is one sided.

Even though Y/n is sleeping just upstairs he misses her. Misses her snarky comments, creative insults, and the way she smacks his chest when he gets too close.

“What are you doing to me woman..” The outlaw mutters to himself as he trudges himself up the creaky wooden stairs. He’s in front of her door and he opens it slowly, peeking his head in. But then he slams it open when he sees she’s gone.

“Y/n?” He shouts, looking around the room and searching every corner. She’s missing again! Maddox runs like a cat out of water as he searches the whole house. What if she got hurt!? He could never live with himself.

He kicks open the front door and looks around the property. What if the tribe found her and thought she was a threat? Every negative outcome of what could happen to her comes to his mind. Getting eaten by a coyote is a possibility too.

Maddox takes his hat off and grips his black hair.

“FUCK!” He shouts and kicks the dirt on the ground, the cloud of brown blowing with the wind. Maddox walks back to the house in defeat where he tells Jasper that Y/n’s gone, and she is never coming back. But the horse only exhales loudly and shakes his head back and forth.

“She’s gone buddy. I know you liked her but she’s probably dead in a fuckin’ ditch somewhere!” The man snaps.

Jasper slams his front leg down and neighs loudly. His nose is pointed up towards the house.

“What are ya’ on about you?” Jasper never behaved like this before unless he wanted to try and tell him something. He’s a smart horse, so any sound or motion me makes is usually when he tries to convey a message.

Maddox looks up at the house where Jasper is looking and squints his eyes. He puts his hat back on to cover his eyes from the beating sun. Looking closer he sees a familiar head of h/c hair on the roof!

“Y/n!?” Maddox says in disbelief. How the fuck did she get up there!? Does she even know she’s up there? Probably not.

“Shit boy, what do we do?” He turns to his horse. Jasper neighs louder and Maddox looks back up and sees that she’s about to fall off the roof!

“SHIT!”

Y/n turns in her sleep and falls off the roof. Maddox feels his heart drop and he breaks off into a sprint. Just before she hits the ground he catches her, making them both fall to the dirt.

“Y-You?” Y/n wakes up and sees she’s outside and that god forsaken outlaw is beneath her. His head is under her dress making her squeal and scramble away.

“W-What in the hell!? What do you think you’re doing? Why am I outside and why was your ugly mug up my dress!?”

Maddox groans and rubs his head. He turns to her with a glare and grabs her wrist, pulling her up.

“I ain’t ever takin’ my eye off you again! You ought to be a witch or somethin’!”

From that moment onward Maddox sleeps next to Y/n in a bone crushing cuddle. When he feels her move in the slightest he wakes up and tightens his hold. No way in hell will he let something like that happen again.

[junkdrawerfics]

Swan Sisters (Part 5) FINALE

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Jasper Whitlock x Reader + Bella and sister!Reader

Summary: You and Jasper need a little comfort after the events of Port Angeles, so a cuddle session ensues. When you return home, you catch Bella in the middle of her research. The big reveal happens, followed by a long list of questions

Plus! A sweet bonus scene with a white dress ;)

Warnings: None. Intimacy, but nothing sexual. Just some good cuddling.

Word Count: 3268

---

The second your car door swings open, Jasper is there.

“Are you okay?”

His hands trace over your arms, your sides, scorching gaze following just behind. This time, you welcome the warmth. His touch is so gentle, just the barest whisper over your clothes, erasing the memory of the touch of those men.

A sigh drips past your lips, “I’m okay, Jas. They were just humans.”

The blond purses his lips. It doesn’t change the fact that someone touched you. That they threatened you. When Alice had shared her vision with him, he’d almost ran straight to Port Angeles to rip their throats out. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to you. Life without you is a life he doesn’t want to live.

You squeak as Jasper effortlessly sweeps you up into his arms. Before you can even complain, you’re in his room, being gently laid on the bed. There’s a pause. You look up at the blond, tilting your head. Jasper’s eyes, a dark burning amber today, hold an unspoken question as he hesitates at the edge of the bed.

Your features soften. A small nod.

Jasper climbs over you, careful to not jostle you too much. You let out an amused hum as he settles on top of you, his arms wrapping around your waist, face buried in your neck. Your small body is fully eclipsed by his.

Any lingering tenseness disappears here. You love this. Just laying here, Jasper’s full weight on you, like the most amazing weighted blanket ever. Concern still swirls around you, not your own, so you curl and arm over his shoulder, the other hand carding through his messy hair.

“I’m right here, my love,” you whisper, words dripping with tenderness.

Jasper just presses his lips to the soft curve of your neck. You sigh, eyes fluttering shut. 

Nothing feels so perfect, so right, as having Jasper in your arms, every part of you touching in some way. For just a moment, it’s like you’re sleeping. The stillness. The peace. The comfort.

You could stay like this forever.

After a few seconds, or maybe hours (you can’t tell anymore), you gently tap Jasper’s shoulder. He pulls back, slowly, reluctant to leave his comfortable position. Those dark eyes fall on your features, half-lidded and unfocused, his lips pouting just a little.

How can he be so cute?

“I love you, my sunshine,” you confess, brushing your nose against his. 

Jasper’s mouth quirks up into one of those lopsided grins, a touch bashful as he leans forward, capturing your lips in a slow kiss. He doesn’t have to say it for you to feel how much he loves you.

Even so, when he pulls back, eyes warm with adoration, the words are murmured against your lips like a promise, “I’ll love you for forever and an eternity, darlin’.”

You melt. Every inch of your overflows with fondness, crippling and soft and lovely. It fills the whole room, leaves Jasper’s head spinning as he slumps against you, just breathing in your scent. You hold him tighter. As tight as you can because you never want to let go.

Forever and an eternity.

It doesn’t feel long enough.

---

“(Y/n)?” Edward knocks lights on the door.

Jasper groans, not too pleased to have your cuddle session interrupted. Any other time, you might have told Edward to get lost, but you did just leave him alone with Bella. Curiosity gets the better of you.

Once Jasper settles at your side (you want to spare Edward at least some awkwardness), you tell him to come in.

Edward cracks the door, eyes narrowed as if still expecting to find you in some compromising position. You smother a smile when he nods to himself and stands up a smidge straighter. Poor Eddie. You scare the man once and he never recovers.

“How’d it go?” You chime expectantly.

“We stopped by the precinct.” Your smile drops. Why would they-? “Waylon Forge is dead. Carlisle thinks it was one of us.”

Not one of the family, of course. But a vampire. Waylon Forge. Your brow furrows at the familiarity of the name. He is was one of dad’s friends. The thought makes your heart plummet. Charlie must be so torn up.

Jasper looks down at you with a furrowed brow. The sadness eases under his gaze, replaced with the warmth that you immediately recognize as his ability.

You cast him a grateful smile, “Him and Charlie have been friends for so long. I should probably go, make sure he’s okay. Bells too.”

If there’s another vampire in town, one that hunts humans, you’ll need to keep a closer eye on your family. Hopefully the vampire won’t venture too close to town, but you can’t be too careful right now.

“Agreed.”

You give Edward a pointed look, “You have to keep an eye on her at school.”

He nods, as if that was already the plan. It probably was the moment he ran into Carlisle. Still, it’s good to know he cares about her so much already. It makes it easier to trust him with her. Surely nothing bad can happen with both of you watching out for her.

“Okay.” You turn, give Jasper a chaste kiss on the cheek before you jump off the bed. “I’ll go home. Charlie will probably be worried about me too, now. He’ll want me to stick closer for a while.”

“Be careful,” Jasper warns, tense again without your touch.

“I will,” you promise, “We’ll have to spend some more time at my place. No way I’m giving up my daily cuddle time.”

Edward balks, quickly making an excuse to leave. You giggle, a little too wickedly. It’s just so fun to make Edward uncomfortable. It is payback for the mind reading, even if he can’t help it. And all the dramatics he’s been doing lately.

“He can’t even handle that, but just wait.” You turn back to Jasper, who looks on with amusement as you rub your hands together conspiratorially. “I bet he’ll be twice as gross with Bells once they start dating.”

“If,” the blond corrects, though he’s still smiling, head leaned against his propped up arm.

“Semantics.” You wave it off. “I’ll know by tonight which way Bella is leaning.”

He perks a brow, but you don’t offer much more.

Insteady, you sing a quick good night, and add, “Make sure you go hunting, love, your eyes are getting dark.”

The blond huffs out a low laugh, but you’re already gone, ducking into your car and driving straight home.

---

When you do get back to the house, it’s quiet. The lights are off. Charlie must already be asleep, which surprises you a little. Part of you expected him to stay up until you got home, to make sure you were safe. He must be really worn out from what happened. Poor thing. You’ll have to make him his favorite for breakfast.

The sound of Bella typing meets your ears when you step into the house.

It’s almost eerie. Every ‘click’ that breaks the still silence seems to echo in your mind. Either her death or a new future. 

You creep up the stairs, careful to avoid all the creaky steps. At the end of the hall, opposite yours, is Bella’s room. Her door is opened just a crack, electronic light pouring out across the carpet. It draws you closer. Slowly.

You brace yourself against the frame. The clicking pauses for a few seconds and you still. You don’t know why. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if she figures it out. You want her to. Yet still, something lodges in your throat as the clicking continues.

Things will change.

For the better, you remind yourself. You’ll be able to talk. No more secrets. No more lying.

Taking a deep breath, you push the door open. Its quiet groan announces your entrance.

Bella flips around, mace in hand, pointed right at you. You hold your palms up, lips pulling into a tight, apologetic smile.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” you whisper.

She blinks wildly, as if to banish something from her sight. You wonder how you must look to her. Already pale skin bathed in cool, white light. The amber of your eyes shining through your contacts. Too still perhaps as you hold your position until she relaxes, mace dropping to her lap.

She doesn’t speak though. Bella just looks at you with narrowed eyes. You glance behind her, at the screen of her laptop. It’s illuminated with an ancient painting. A man leans over a woman, teeth to her neck, blood dripping down her porcelain skin. 

She knows.

Dragging your eyes back to Bella, you hold her gaze. Waiting.

Until she breaks the silence, voice impossibly steady, “Are you one of them?”

You tilt your head slowly, thoughtfully. It’s a vague question. Maybe on purpose. To give you an out. But you don’t want it.

She needs to say it though. “One of what, Bella?” 

For the first time, you watch her hesitate. It’s only for a second though before her eyes harden with steely determination. That’s your sister.

“A vampire.”

A grin breaks out across your lips, unnaturally wide and probably not appropriate at this moment, but you can’t help it. Relief rains down on you like a storm. She knows.

“I am.”

Bella doesn’t even flinch, just presses on, “And the Cullens?”

“Them too,” you hum, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Do you…?” She eyes your smile suspiciously.

“No. We drink from animals. For all intents and purposes, we are vegetarians.”

The silence returns as Bella mulls it all over. It must be a lot to take in. You remember when Jasper first told you. You’d been shocked for quite a while, which scared him so bad. Somehow he ended up being more terrified of your reaction than you had been at the reveal. It’s a fond memory for you now, but Jasper gets so embarrassed when you bring it up.

“Are you…scared?” You ask eventually. The silence is getting tiring.

Bella shakes her head, “No.”

“Surprised?”

You grin at her deadpan look.

“I was, when they told me,” you say, nerves finally eased enough that you can casually drop onto her bed, “Now come on, hit me with all those questions. I’m sure you have a ton.”

“How long have you been one?”

“Just about a year now. Jasper told me when I started bringing up our future together, and I decided soon after that.”

The bed shifts as Bella sits beside you, closer than you expected. You glance at her from the corner of her eyes, just to check. There really is no fear in her eyes, like she said, just intrigue, curiosity, a touch of excitement maybe.

“How old is Edward?” 

“Edward?” You raise a brow, watching as her face flushes. Love bird. “I don’t know exactly. I think Carlisle changed him during the Spanish Flu.”

Her eyes blow wide, and you have to muffle your laughter. How would she react if you told her Jasper is about sixty years older than him? He’s the second oldest in the family technically. You scrunch your nose a little. The whole age thing does feel a bit weird at times.

“Does the sun hurt you? Is that why the Cullens disappear on sunny days?

“Nope. That’s a myth. So is the whole garlic thing.” Carlisle once told you it was the Volturi who started spreading those rumors to get humans off their trail.

“So why avoid the sun?” Her voice brims with eager curiosity.

Mischief dances in your eyes as you chime, “I’ll let Edward show you. I’m sure he will once you tell him.” He’ll be so theatrical about it, too. You can’t wait.

But Bella purses her lips. She looks conflicted again. You shift, covering one of her hands with her own. Your grin turns softer when, instead of flinching, she flips her hand to hold yours. Change for the better, you remind yourself again.

“Should I talk to him? Isn’t this supposed to be some secret?”

“Well, yes.” Technically you suppose. “But you like him, don’t you?”

Her cheeks heat up all over again, making her look like a cute little strawberry. That’s enough of an answer for you.

“Tell him. I promise you, things will go so much smoother once you do. He likes you too, he’s just…scared. He doesn’t want you to think he’s a monster.”

“But he’s not,” Bella says instantly, like it's obvious.

“Try telling him that,” you grumble, rolling your eyes, “You’re probably the only one he’ll believe. He’s stubborn, just like you.”

“And you,” she points out, finally cracking a smile when you pout at her. “Do you have any powers like Edward?”

“Well, no, bu- wait.” You pause. You didn’t say anything about his ability. “How do you know about that?”

“He told me about how he can read minds at dinner”

Oh, his will is far more breakable than you thought.

“Really? He didn’t say a word about being a vampire, but he told you he can read minds?” 

Bella nods.

“I can’t believe him,” you snort, “I can’t. He’s such a bad liar! I leave you alone for an hour and he spills that?” You’re going to give him so much grief for this in the future.

“So you can’t do anything like that?”

“No! Which is totally unfair, by the way. Only some vampires have abilities like that.”

“What about the others?”

“Well, Alice can see the future, kind of. And Jasper can sense people’s emotions,” you explain, leaving out the details of it all. “I met a woman recently who can electrocute people. That was shocking.”

“Oh my gosh,” Bella groans, pulling her hand back in disdain.

A wild giggle escapes you, “I couldn’t help it! It was right there!”

“Looks like becoming a vampire didn’t help your sense of humor.” You feign insult, slapping a hand to your chest.

“Such hurtful words! And from my sister!”

“Shhh!!” Bella rushes to slap a hand over your mouth, muffling your cackle. “Charlie is asleep. You’ll wake him up.”

“Dad sleeps like a log,” you say and push her hand away, “We’re fine.”

“Does he know?”

“About me being a vampire?” You snort again. “No, of course not. And he won’t.”

Bella fidgets, brow furrowing, “Why not?”

“It’s dangerous.”

“But not for me?”

You wince. How are you supposed to explain that? Technically yes, but we’ve seen that you’re eventually going to get turned because you and Edward are going to fall madly in love! That or you’ll die a gruesome death! Neither really put the soul at ease.

“Weeeeell,” you sigh, drawing out the sound much to her annoyance, “Kind of. Alice says you’re not, and we kind of just go with her visions. They’re pretty accurate.”

“That’s comforting.” Her sarcasm is practically tangible.

“Can’t give you much else, girlie. You’ll just have to trust me.”

Without faltering, she says, “I do.”

For a moment, the urge to cry sweeps over you. Nothing’s changed. She still sees you as her sister, even after all this. Relief is not a strong enough word to describe how you feel. It’s overwhelming in the best way possible.

“I didn’t think you were going to take this so well,” you choke out eventually.

This time, Bella reaches for your hand. Her skin is so warm against yours. You savor it, holding her hand tightly. 

“People are supposed to be scared of stuff like this.” Your voice warbles as you laugh. “You’re pretty weird, Bells.”

“(Y/n), it’s not like you’ve changed. You still make stupid jokes.” They’re good jokes. “And you still protect me, just like when we were younger.”

“I’ll always protect you,” you insist, clutching her hand to your chest. “You’re my little sister.”

Bella just nods, “Exactly. So, I’m not scared.”

Her logic is solid. Leave it to Bella to be one of the few people in the world who sees the logic in not fearing a blood-sucking creature. Granted, a vegetarian blood-sucking creature, but still. She might just be a touch crazy.

“So…how should I tell Edward?”

An easier topic. You smile appreciatively at the shift, though your grin turns notably evil when you think about how to answer. Bella narrows her eyes, growing increasingly worried as a giggle escapes your lips.

“Okay, listen. This’ll sound crazy, but what if-”

And just like that, things go back to normal. You stay up all night, talking just like you used to. About Jasper. About Edward. You share a few embarrassing stories that make her laugh, that will definitely get you killed if he figures out you told her. But it’s worth it, because you have your sister back again.

Everything you’ve ever wanted is finally in reach.

And you don’t plan on ever letting it go.

Forever and an eternity.

Maybe it will be long enough.

---

✨BONUS✨

You let out a trembling breath, looking at yourself for the thousandth time in the mirror.

“You look great,” Bella murmurs, stretching on her tiptoes to prop her chin on your shoulder, hands clasping around your shoulders.

“Are you sure? I want it to be perfect.” You worry your lip as you touch the skirt of your dress.

Porcelain white, falling in waves to the floor. It shimmers with every movement, like light dancing across the surface of the ocean. Lace swirls across the satin, curling around individually stitched pearls. It’s stunning, better than any dress you saved on Pinterest.

“Everything will be perfect,” Alice sings as she glides into the room, bouquet in hand, “I’ll make sure of it.”

“I thought that was the maid of honor's job?” You eye your sister with a teasing smile.

“I delegated,” Bella mutters, adjusting her own dress.

Of course she would. You expected as much, though your chest still swells with gratitude as you look at your sister. She squeaks when you tug her into a sudden hug, ignoring Alice’s snipping about wrinkles.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you murmur.

Bella begrudgingly hugs you back, “Of course I’d be here. You’re getting married.”

“Still, it means a lot to me,” you insist. “We’ve been waiting to go through with it because I wanted you here.”

“...really?”

“Really.” You pull back to look at her. “You’re my sister. The day wouldn’t be complete without you.”

For just a second, it looks like she might cry, eyes glimmering with tears. But, ever the tough chick, she coughs and looks away, blinking rapidly. You giggle, patting her shoulder before turning back to the mirror.

“Are you ready?” Charlie peaks his head into the room, eyes going round as saucers as he sets eyes on you. “Wow. You look…beautiful, baby girl.”

You smile bashfully, twisting back and forth a little to make your skirt sway, “Thanks dad. And yes! I am ready! As I’ll ever be, at least.”

He nods, offering you his hand.

Now or never.

The moment you step out into the aisle and lay eyes on Jasper though, every single worry fades away. Everything in the world disappears with it.

All that’s left is him, dressed in a stunning, fitted black suit, gold eyes looking at you with such adoration it makes your knees weak. And his smile. His smile that fills your life with so much light, so much love, it chases away every shadow, every inkling of darkness.

He is your sunshine.

And you love him more than you ever thought possible.

Forever and an eternity starts with the words, “I do.”

---

That's all folks! I hope you enjoyed this series! I wanted to throw the wedding in as a little bonus :)

Thank you all for reading!

@avadakadabra93 @glaciuswduo

Edit - Okay I might add more. I just need to take a little break and work on some other Jasper fics I really want to write! But keep an eye out!

[popatochisssp]

I heard there are playlists of the boys but I cant find them anywhere 😭

If it wouldnt be much of a bother, could you give us the links? For the 10 first boys?

Who told you, who's talking about me? Are they saying nice things? 🤔

Well anyway, I'll do you one better, and drop all the links, for everybody!

Consider these a work-in-progress, some are definitely less filled out than others (because it is apparently not the Right Moment for me to accept new music into my brain), but nearly every playlist has a minimum of 30 songs, and the majority are more in the 60-70 range, so there's something to work with!

Here's the links, and as bonus, a personal favorite pick for a song on each playlist that I think suits them most:

Sans (Undertale): Ok by Madeon

Papyrus (Undertale): The Walker by Fitz & The Tantrums

Sky (Underswap Sans): More (RedOne Jimmy Joker Remix) by Usher

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Stars by Switchfoot

Jasper (Underfell Sans): Way Down We Go by KALEO

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Oh No! by Marina and The Diamonds

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): Have You Ever by The Offspring

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Footsteps (Go Higher) by Pop Evil

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Drive by Incubus

Ash (Undergloom Sans): 25 or 6 to 4 by Chicago

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Fly by Hilary Duff

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Becoming the Bull by Atreyu

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): arrow by half•alive

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): Count Your Last Blessings by Sum 41

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Back From the Dead by Skillet

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): All That's Left by Thrice

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): All My Friends by Madeon

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Moonshine by Caravan Palace

Spectr (Transcendtale Sans): Magnum Bullets by Night Runner

PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus): The Growl by Conway

Xanth (Ascendswap Sans): Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + The Machine

Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus): Feeling Good by Michael Bublé

Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans): Rollin' by Limp Bizkit

Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus): Remember by Disturbed

Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans): Shadow by Livingston

Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus): Do You Call My Name by Ra

Kohl (Descendtale Sans): Screaming Bloody Murder by Sum 41

Bram (Descendtale Papyrus): Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Nine

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Cussing and a mild mention of killing vampires

Notes: This chapter is… the longest one yet and definitely my fav so far - I love me some protective men, enjoy!! [FYI: Y/m/n is your middle name]

Word Count: 5096

Series Masterlist

• March 12th, 2005 • Forks, WA •

Jasper

I pull my motorcycle to a stop at an outlook over the Olympic Forest just outside of town, not wanting to go far for her first ride, but also wanting to get her alone and just be. I reach a hand behind me for her to take as she climbs off before I pop out the kickstand and get off myself. She’s handing me my protective gear as I turn to see what’s got her eager to leave my side and I’m met with the second most gorgeous view, the first being the girl before me.

The deep green of the forest clashes against the oranges, pinks, and purples of the descending sun to make for a spectacular sunset. To make it even better, I can see the reflection of it in her eyes - the duality of beauty rendering me speechless for longer than I’d like to admit.

This gorgeous creature, this kind and beautiful soul before me is meant to be mine. My singer, the greatest temptation a vampire could ever experience and I have found her. How on earth a monster like me is supposed to be an equal for an angel like her, I might never know.

Reader

He’s staring at me in such a way that I feel completely alive. It’s causing my face to heat, but I could care less about being embarrassed-this beautiful sunset and the vampire next to me have snatched all rational thought.

I turn to meet his eyes and I can tell a million things are running through his mind by the slightly unfocused look. The hint of a grin on his perfect lips bring a smile to my own, “Penny for your thoughts?” I ask.

“You’d have millions.” He jokes, but I’m slightly lost and tilt my head. “My thoughts are nothing but you, darlin’. You’d have millions if you had a penny for each one.”

My mouth gapes like a fish for a few seconds, for someone so stoic usually, he sure can make a girl swoon. So instead of replying, I turn my gaze to his hands, running my fingers over them and up his wrist. Before they could ascend any further though, one of his hands reaches up to stop me. Fearing that I’ve unknowingly pushed a boundary, I glance up in alarm.

“There is a reason I wear sleeves, sweetheart.” He explains quietly with a sad half-smile.

“If you think any part of you could scare me, you’re wrong Hale.” I mean it and I know he can sense the truth of my words.

“I’ve done things, horrible things for a horrible person, and I did them without question-“

“So tell me and let me prove that none of that matters now.” I lift a brow daring him to defy me.

In response he pushes the sleeves of his shirt up to reveal scarred forearms. Not just typical scarring, but bite marks. I let out a gasp at the hard ridges and pits that penetrate his skin, there must be hundreds and they have to have been painful to permanently damage the skin of a vampire. My wide eyes meet his and I can tell he’s holding his breath for what I might say.

“Who-what could do this to you? Why? How?” Questions begin tumbling from my lips as my fingers float across his damaged skin, anguish beginning to seep into my bones as his explanation begins.

“I was the youngest major in the Texas Calvary, evacuating women and children from the battlefield when I… came across three women that I thought required assistance. Being the gentleman and soldier I was, I offered them aid and it cost me my life.” He inhaled a deep breath before continuing, still watching my hands explore his skin. “Their leader Maria, was the one that changed me with the intention to use me as a general for her own army. An army of newly turned vampires, impossible for anyone, human or vampire, to beat. I was…” A heavy pause, “Also in charge of dispatching them once they outlived her usefulness for her.”

I meet his eyes as he struggles through that last sentence. Unbelievable. This man? This kind, gentle, sweet, considerate man was used to train and then kill other people for a woman clearly not strong enough to do it herself? I’m in shock at the audacity.

“If you’re waiting for me to run screaming, you’ll have to try harder.” I whisper, afraid I might scream in frustration should I speak any louder.

He puffs out a breath at my words and shakes his head. “You amaze me at every turn, you know that?” One hand pulls away from my touch to run fingers across my cheekbone in a tender gesture, drastically contrasting the story his skin tells.

“You think you can scare me, but I’m still here.” I’m here because I’m a magnet drawn to you and I don’t ever want to be pulled away, but I keep those words from slipping out with the rest.

“I’m a monster that has killed more people than I can remember, and that’s okay with you?” He asks honestly and bluntly, eyes searching mine.

“You did what was asked of you by someone that manipulated you, that is not on you and it does not make you a monster, Jasper.” The conviction in my voice is strong.

“You feel so strongly for my past and my demons, but you won’t let me in that pretty little mind of yours, why is that?” He taps on my temple gently, questioning my very being.

“Who said you aren’t already in here?” It’s my turn to tap my own temple, but my words and actions are a little more harsh now that my own demons are rushing to the surface. “You are in every single thought night and day, Hale-“

“Then why do you play this game - one moment you’re all in and the next you’re scared-“

“Because someone like you don’t waste their time with someone like me!” The quiet is deafening for a few beats following my confession. “You are gorgeous, and-and mysterious, and everything a girl could dream to have-“ but he interrupts my ramble with hands cradling my face.

“And utterly taken by you. You, darlin’. Never have I felt so alive, so seen by someone. Someone that is so incredible she caught me off guard with a door and a simple look, me-a vampire!” His words are frantic.

“I’m just a plain ‘ole regular girl like everyone else, the one you date before the real one comes along and-”

“No.” One word, one syllable and yet it holds so much weight. “Do not diminish yourself because of the value you’ve placed upon me, I will not allow it.”

What do I even say to that? Before I could articulate a response, his face lowers and his forehead rests on mine. “You are everything I need and I want you to understand that I’m not going anywhere and no other will ever take me away from you or catch my eye if you’re worried about something like that.”

A rumble in the distance reminds us of our surroundings again, darkness having moved in and a storm notifying us that it’s on the way.

“Let me get you home, sweetheart.” A kiss is delicately placed high on my cheekbone, tender and cool to soothe the heat that might be permanently settled there.

• March 13th, 2005 • Home •

Reader

The outing with Jasper yesterday has had my mind in a spin since he dropped me off at home. I can’t believe he not only indulged my request, but that I got to essentially be a human backpack for an insanely hot vampire. And our conversation… I can’t even - he flipped my world around and stole my breath away.

I’m still breathless. And looking for my stupid hat.

“Mom, have you seen my Cubs baseball hat?” I yell from the top of the stairs.

“No sweetie, did you check the bottom of the hall closet? Maybe it fell in there!” She yelled back from her spot fixing lunch in the kitchen.

I huff and run to the closet, swinging the door open and spotting the blue hat tossed haphazardly on top of our snowshoes. Great, now I’ll smell like feet. I hurry to the bathroom and grab the fabric spray from under the sink as the front doorbell rings.

Shit-shit-shit, he’s early! I finish tying my shoes to prevent myself from tripping down the stairs in my haste. As I reach the top, I hear my mother beat me to the front door to invite Jasper in, swinging the door wide in her excitement at a boy standing on our front porch.

“Good afternoon, ma’am.” He drawls in his southern accent, he offers his hand out to shake my mother’s, “Jasper Hale.” His eyes flicking up to meet mine as I descend the stairs, my mother accepting the gentlemanly gesture.

“Oh good afternoon dear!” My mother turns to me, “I made lunch in the kitchen if you two are hungry.”

“No thanks mom, we’ll just get going!” I tell her breathlessly, popping a kiss to her cheek as I brush past, “Love you!”

She sputters a second, trying to catch up, “Love you too dear, just be home at a reasonable time!” She yells after me, standing in the doorway to our home.

“I won’t keep her too late, ma’am.” Jasper flashes her a smile, “Promise I’ll keep her safe, to the best of my ability.” Finally he gives in to my tug of his jacket sleeve to follow me down the front steps.

My mother continues to stand on the porch, watching us like a hawk as Jasper opens the passenger door for me to Edward’s Volvo. He throws a wink at me before shutting the door and walking around to the driver’s side, waving goodbye to my mother who returns it.

“In a hurry, doll?” He asks, placing his right hand on my headrest as he leans over to back out of my drive.

I can’t think straight when he invades my space like this, “I just spared you from the third degree my mother was about to lay on you back there. You’re welcome, Hale.” I huff, trying to not let his proximity affect me.

He chuckles, for what I’m not entirely sure: my increasing heart rate or the comment about my mother.

“I think I can handle your mom.” He eventually responds, hands now having returned to safe territory on the steering wheel.

“Oh of that I have no doubt, but she would’ve kept us entirely too long and I’m not about to let you keep me from watching the most interesting game of baseball I’ve ever witnessed.” I responded.

Lord knows my mother would’ve embarrassed me by asking what his intentions were and we don’t need that kind of talk. We don’t need it yet, anyways.

• March 13th, 2005 • Cullen Residence •

Reader

Jasper parked the car in the garage of his massive home, if a work of architecture could be called ‘home’. He speeds around to the passenger side to open my door before I even got the chance to reach for the handle.

“I can open my own door, you know?” I mention as I stand from the car.

“Where I’m from, a lady should never have to open a door for herself.” He states matter-of-factly, shutting the door and moving past me to lead the way, arm brushing my shoulder and creating goosebumps in its wake.

Flustered by his chivalry, I follow him silently inside.

“Where is everyone?” I ask, taking in the view of the forest from the large windows.

It takes him a minute to respond, having disappeared somewhere momentarily just to return with a jacket draped over his arm and a warm-looking scarf in hand.

“Edward is picking up Isabella and should be here any moment to get us. The rest of my family is in the clearing warming up.” He answers, draping the scarf around my neck with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

Before I could comment on the look, Edward honked impatiently from the driveway.

Jasper

A little part of me wishes I just ran to the clearing while Y/n rode with Edward and Bella, just to clear my head from her scent. The rest of me is happy to have a few more moments in her presence, even if for just a little while.

I make eye contact with my brother in the rear view mirror, knowing he can read my thoughts. He gives a small dip of his chin in acknowledgment, as if to say he understands the internal conflict of wanting to be close to her while knowing it’s also torture to do so.

“Are you warm enough?” I ask, catching her rubbing her hands together in her lap.

“Oh I’ll be fine, I’m just excited is all.” She responds, I can tell she isn’t entirely telling the truth the way the little white lie taints her emotions. Unfortunately I can’t tell if it’s about the temperature or her excitement at the prospect of watching a vampire baseball game. I chuckle and glance out my window, now I know how Edward feels not being able to read Isabella’s thoughts.

My brother lets out a small laugh himself causing the women to turn on us, “What?” They ask in sync.

“Edward finds my thoughts amusing is all, nothing to worry about darlin’.” I tell Y/n. I notice her face blanche and immediately realize I never told her of Edward’s power.

“He-he what?” She stutters, clearly worrying over the invasion of privacy she was never warned about and I kick myself for not having this conversation beforehand.

“Edward can read the thoughts of those in his vicinity. He’s respectful with his power though, he wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.” I reassure her, using a portion of my power to round out some of her nerves.

“I can hear you, but it sort of passes through.” Edward hesitates, “It’s like sitting in a room full of people conversing, but not really paying attention even though you can hear them talking all at once. I’m used to communicating with Jasper this way, I apologize for not prefacing my abilities sooner.” He finishes, glancing back to look over his shoulder with a sad smile.

“Thank you Edward, I appreciate that very much.” Y/n sighs, “I think it’s actually a pretty amazing power to have.” She tells him with a smile.

“Sometimes it is,” Edward glances to Bella, “Sometimes it isn’t.”

“Why did we have to wait for a thunderstorm to play baseball?” She turns to ask me innocently after a beat of silence.

“Oh you’re about to see.” I tell her with a grin as Edward pulls the Jeep to a stop at the edge of a clearing, the rest of my family gathered not far away.

As I help her out of Emmett’s Wrangler, I remove my jacket to place around her shoulders.

“Before you say anything, I don’t need it. Keep it warm for me.” I can’t resist placing a kiss to the crown of her head, her scent mingling with mine making for a heady mixture. I turn and lead her to where everyone is gathered, Emmett sending a pointed look my way at the interaction he just witnessed. I shrug as a way of answering, trying not to make it a big deal since he’s always been worried about my loneliness the last few decades.

“Alright let’s pick teams!” Carlisle announces, attempting to wrangle our rowdy bunch.

Reader

As the Cullen’s separate into their teams, I follow Esme as she tugs Bella and I over to home plate explaining the game. Carlisle and Rosalie play-flight over who gets to go first, but my eye is on Jasper as he warms up with a few test-swings with a bat.

“We could use a few impartial opinions.” Esme smiles at us, shifting Bella and I to stand behind her as she assumes the ‘catcher’ position.

Rose is up to bat first, Jasper and Carlisle on her team while Emmett, Edward, and Alice make up the opposition. The latter taking up her place at the pitcher’s mound - she nods her head and announces, “It’s time.”

First pitch from Alice and Rose absolutely smashes it, the thunder cracking in time with the strike of the bat.

“Okay, now I see why you need the thunder.” Bella says, impressed. “That’s gotta be a home run, right?”

Rosalie rounds second and heads for third, a blonde blur on the field. “Edward is fast.” Esme tells her with confidence.

Right when I think there’s no possible way Edward could get his sister out before she slides home, a baseball rockets it’s way out of the woods and straight into Esme’s hands. Tagging her adoptive daughter with the ball, she looks over her shoulder at us for confirmation.

“You’re out!” Bella motions a thumb over her shoulder at a very not happy Rose.

I turn to look at Jasper, completely blown away by what transpired, but I’m distracted in the way he idly spins his baseball bat. My emotions must catch his attention, because he doesn’t stop as he makes eye contact. Who knew something so basic as flipping a bat could be so attractive?

“Babe, c’mon! It’s just a game!” Emmett yells from across the field, garnering my attention from his brother.

Rosalie brushes past Bella to intimidate her umpire call as Carlisle takes his place at home plate. Another beautiful pitch by Alice and powerful swing by the doctor, the ball heads straight for the middle ground between the two brothers in the outfield. Colliding together, they miss the ball and their dad claims second base.

Next up is Jasper and I’m positively vibrating with excitement to see him in action. Showing off again with his idle bat tossing, he settles in and sends Alice’s next ball into orbit, but Emmett manages to snag it out of thin air.

“My monkey man.” Rose says proudly from her spot next to me, I huff in aggravation at Jasper getting out so early.

Just as Rosalie takes her second turn and is running for first base, Alice yells out a warning, “Stop!”

After a few seconds and hearing something that clearly Bella and I fail to pick up with our human ears, the family not gathered around us returns to our sides in a hurry.

“They were leaving and then they heard us-“

“Let’s go.” Edward cuts off Alice to grab for Bella, but Carlisle stops his son.

“It’s too late.”

Jasper is at my side as the rest of his family shuffled around us, “What’s happening?” I ask him worriedly.

“Vampires, they heard us playing and are on their way here.” He answers me completely serious, zipping up his jacket that I’m wearing. “Stay behind me, don’t move and don’t attract their attention.”

“Jas-“

“No one touches you.” He meets my eyes as his words send ice through my veins, will it come to that?

I will my heart to calm as I get shuffled to stand behind him and Emmett, I rest a hand on Jasper’s back to anchor myself.

I can’t see them from my hiding spot, but I hear one with a slight accent, “I believe this belongs to you?”

“Thank you.” Carlisle replies curtly.

“I am Laraunt, this is Victoria and James.”

“I’m Carlisle, this is my family.” I feel Jasper tense under my hand like he’s concentrating. Readying for a fight? What do I do if this turns into a vampire brawl?

I turn to look at Edward over my shoulder but he doesn’t meet my gaze and Bella has her head turned down. Hiding her eyes I realize - her human eyes, acting shy in the face of new vampires so that they might not be interested in her.

Carlisle and the one speaking for the group, Laraunt, continue their efficient conversation as I step closer to Jasper. From this position I can see all three strangers and fear begins to worm it’s way into my chest. I’ve become so comfortable with the Cullens’ that I’ve forgotten they’re vampires. Vampires as dangerous as the ones before me look, minus the red eyes.

The tall one missing a shirt, James presumably since Laraunt and Carlisle are still conversing, seems to lock in on Bella and Edward. The grip I have on Jasper tightens and he reaches a hand back to pat the outside of my thigh in reassurance at his earlier statement.

“So, could you use three more players?” My heart almost stops, how do we get out of this? “Come on, just one game?”

Seemingly reading my mind, Carlisle plays along with a little chuckle, “Sure, why not. A few of us were leaving, you could take their place.” I feel Jasper’s arm nudge me in the direction of Edward and Bella, a sign to join their departure.

“We’ll bat first.” Carlisle announces, throwing the ball to the newcomers as our group begins to separate.

“I’m the one with the wicked curve ball.” The female, Victoria taunts in a low voice.

Jasper let’s out a low laugh, “Well I think we can handle that.”

As everyone begins to take their new places and I make my way towards Bella, I notice that one of the new males seems zoned-in on Edward, or rather, Bella. Next thing I know, a breeze shifts Bella’s hair and my heart shudders in my chest - the wind, our scent-

“You brought a snack?” James threatens as he leans into a crouch. Snapping his gaze to me as I let out a gasp, “Two snacks?”

Jasper let’s out a deep growl as he lunges in front of me, the rest of his family surrounding Bella and I in a protective stance.

“The girls are with us.” Carlisle asserts, “I think it best if you leave.”

“I can see the game is over, we’ll go now.” The one in charge tries to placate the tense situation. “James.”

As the new vampires turn to leave, Carlisle urges Edward and Jasper, “Get Bella and Y/n out of here, go!”

The four of us jog back to Emmett’s Jeep, Jasper keeping me from stumbling in the mud.

“Okay I’ve got it-I’ve got it, I’m alright!” Bella yells at Edward while he tries to buckle her in. “What, n-now he’s coming after me? Us?”

“Listen to me-James is a tracker, the hunt is his obsession. I read his mind, our reaction on the field set him off. We just made this his most exciting game ever, he’s never going to stop.” Edward explains, frantic in his words and his driving.

“So what do we do?” Bella panics.

“We kill him-“ Jasper starts.

“Rip him apart and burn the pieces.” Edward finishes.

“Where are we going?”

“Away from Forks. We’ll get a ferry to Vancouver.”

“I have to go home, now. You have to take me home.” Bella orders him.

“You can’t go home, he’s just going to trace your scent there-it’s the first place he’s going to look.”

My chest constricts, my mom. Jasper grabs my hand, no doubt feeling my growing fear. “My mom.” I whisper to him as his eyes bounce between mine searching for what to say.

“My dad is there!-“

“It doesn’t matter!”

“Yes it does! He could get killed because of us! What about Y/n’s mom?!”

“Just let me get you out of here first, alright? Neither one of you are safe.”

“It’s my dad, we have to go back!” She argues back, exasperated. “We’ll figure out a way to lead the tracker away somehow-I don’t know, but we have to do something!”

“Jasper, you have to take me home.” I plead with him while squeezing his hand.

“Darlin’, I-“

“I’ll go anywhere you want me to, I just need to make sure she’s okay! If I disappear, she’ll hunt me down.” I try to reason with him, short of panicking myself.

Pulling up at Bella’s house, both her and Edward leap out of their seats and for the door. Just as Bella slams the front door in his face putting on a show, Jasper hops in the driver’s seat and peels out of the driveway in the direction of my house.

“You go inside, make up a reason to leave tonight. I’ll wait in the car, but if you aren’t out in five minutes, I’m coming in to get you.” He orders me and I nod.

“Thank you, I can’t leave her without saying anything… Thank you, Jasper.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m taking you far from here until this is settled.” His voice steady even though my life is turning upside down as we speak.

As the large vehicle rumbles to a stop just in front of my porch, I leap from my seat. The light above the door flicking on, my mother swings it open before my fingers could grab the handle.

“Everything alri-“

“No, mom.” I brush past her to ascend the stairs. “Bella is leaving for her mom’s tonight, I need to go with her!”

“Sweetheart, it’s too late for a drive like that!” She says, chasing me.

“She can’t drive by herself, she needs me mom! I can make sure she’s safe and keep you updated.” I plead with her as I throw random articles of clothing in my empty gym bag.

“Y/n, you can’t-“

“Mom,” I turn to her, dead serious, “I’m going whether you let me or not. She’s my best friend and she needs to leave. I can at least make sure she’s okay and gets to her mom’s. I’ll turn around and come right back afterwards!”

“Your phone stays on and charged.” She says with her hands on her hips, “I call, you better answer after the first ring. Anything - and I mean anything happens, you call me and Chief Swan immediately, Y/n Y/m/n.”

“Yes ma’am.” I snatch my bag and give her a hug as I rush out of my room. “I love you.” I murmur into her shoulder.

“You’re my world, sweetheart. Please be careful?” I nod, “I love you too.”

After a peck to my head, I race down the stairs and back out to the Jeep.

“It’s going to be alright.” Jasper tries to soothe me, both with his words and an artificial wave of calm.

“Don’t.” I bristle, “Nothing about this is alright.”

Immediately the foreign feeling vacates me and a coldness slides into my chest. I know he was only trying to help me, but I can’t take it, I can’t take the easy way out right now. So I glance out my window as the trees rush past on our way to his house.

• March 13th, 2005 • Cullen Residence •

Jasper

This day-this whole thing is fucked. And not at all how I saw this weekend going. I promised her mother I would keep her safe and now a fucking group of nomadic vampires is hunting her and Isabella.

Three vampires aren’t really much when it comes to my family of seven, but seeing as I’m the only one trained to… deal with the dispatching of vampires besides Carlisle, the odds aren’t great that we all come out of this unscathed.

And Y/n. This fragile human that already means so much to me is caught in the middle, caught up in my dangerous world. I told her that nothing and no one touches her and I meant it. If I can be sure of one thing, I know I can do this for her.

Slamming on the breaks as the Jeep slides into the garage, I grab Y/n’s hand as she meets me behind the vehicle. I tried to soothe her worry after we left her house, but I obeyed her request to stop. I almost feel useless - not being allowed to do what I do best and fix emotions, but I know her sense of autonomy shouldn’t be infringed upon if I want her to let me in. I slam the button to shut the garage door to shield us from potential prying eyes and make my way across the enclosed space.

“What now?” Y/n asks me as I throw her bag in the trunk of Carlisle’s Mercedes.

“I stay with you, no matter what. You and Isabella, I can protect the both of you.” I turn and meet her gaze, resting a hand on her cheek in reassurance. “You are mine to protect and I take that charge very seriously.” My words snatch her breath, so I give her a half-smile.

“After… everything, you’re not opposed to violence, Hale?”

“For you? Violence is my middle name, darlin’.” Before I could comment on the shudder the wracks through her and the arousal trickling into her scent and emotions, my family rejoins us in the garage.

Snatching the keys to the Mercedes Emmett tosses my way, I seperate myself from Y/n.

“I’ve had to fight our kind before,” I hesitate choosing my words, glancing at Y/n, “We’re not easy to kill.”

“But not impossible.” My brother responds.

“I don’t relish the thought of killing another creature, even a sadistic one like James.” Carlisle laments.

“What if he kills one of us first?” Rose questions harshly from her seat on the counter.

“I’m going to run Bella south and lead the tracker away from here-“ but Carlisle stops Edward before he could finish.

“No, Edward. James knows you’d never leave Bella. He’ll follow you.” My adoptive father glances at me, “Jasper-“

“I’m not leaving her.” I level my gaze on Carlisle and boost my words with my power, “None of you are trained like me, I stay with what he wants - the girls.”

“I’ll go with them, Jasper and I will drive them south.” Alice pipes up, “I’ll keep her safe, Edward.”

“Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?” I can feel Alice’s hesitation in what I feel is her confidence in the outcome of all this.

I will that emotion away immediately, nothing will hinder a positive outcome in this scenario. Y/n and Isabella will make it through this unscathed and James will die, end of story. Nothing threatens what’s mine or my family’s and lives, nothing.

Next

[haphazardlyannotated]

So I was thinking about how Steven, Connie and Stevonnie all have a duet with one of the main Crystal Gems and I realised how masterfully these songs are deployed to tell us things about them.

First of all, On The Run for Steven and Amethyst.

Amethyst is the Crystal Gem who relates the most to Steven's experiences and vice versa. They're both the 'juniors' in their household, they've both been struggling with being respected by the older Crystal Gems for a while now, and though Amethyst is very much Steven's guardian when it comes down to it, she's also Steven's peer in a way that Garnet and Pearl just aren't even when they try to include Steven.

And now this song sets them up as parallels in other contexts, too. They're both from earth! They both don't wholly belong in one category (Steven as a half gem, half human, Amethyst as a Crystal Gem who never fought in the rebellion and whose existence runs against the Crystal Gems' original wishes for Earth), and as we are about to learn, they both came into existence at the cost of other life and might harbour guilt about it, even though they had literally no say in this.

And then later on they continue to be parallels, especially in season 3 (though they share the child of divorce energy during the Sardonyx Arc). They both compare themselves to impossible standards of what they 'should' be (Steven to the idea of Rose, Amethyst to Jasper) and it is their recognition of their own struggles in each other that allows them to at least partially overcome them. No wonder Smoky Quartz is Steven's first fusion with another gem!

Next up: Do It For Her, sung by Pearl and Connie.

Speaking of parallels! It's pretty obvious watching the episode that Pearl is spending some time in projection city regarding absolute devotion to a beloved, if not revered partner, but she might actually be closer to the truth in some respects than she realises.

Remember Lion 2: The Movie? When Connie said that she didn't understand why Steven would hang out with someone as normal as her? Doesn't this remind us of someone else who feels like she's objectively inferior to a special (in several ways) someone? Someone who stepped out of the predetermined role she was supposed to fill to join her loved one on their dangerous path? Who lived a double life to avoid retribution from controlling authority figures? Couldn't say.

Also, they're both the knowledgable planner to their all loving goofball partner.

With all of this, I think Do It For Her both draws parallels between Pearl and Connie as well as Pearlrose and Connverse, and shows us how the example of Pearl and Rose's unresolved dysfunction could stop Steven and Connie from falling into the same trap before it was too late. I think seeing Pearl demonstrate the end of the road they were beginning to walk was what enabled Steven to step in before they got to Pearlrose's point, where Pearl was to deep in her self sacrificing mindset for Rose to reach her.

And finally, Here Comes A Thought for Garnet and Stevonnie.

First of all, obviously, Garnet and Stevonnie as an embodiment of the love and harmony between Ruby and Sapphire and Steven and Connie respectively.

It also draws parallels between Ruby and Connie and Steven and Sapphire though. (I saw a great meta about that in my lurking days, which I will link here if someone could kindly direct me to it). Sapphire and Steven as people who would rather bury negative feelings, like Sapphire tries to in Keystone Motel and Steven in... the entirety of suf to name just the most prominent one. Which of course only leads to more problems in the long run, because they haven't processed the feelings at all.

On the other hand, the comparison with Ruby draws attention to a trait of Connie's we maybe wouldn't have noticed otherwise: She is, for the lack of a better term, much more confrontational about things that make her unhappy. Just look at The New Crystal Gems.

Also, letting Ruby and Sapphire demonstrate their conflict resolution for Steven and Connie gives us an insight into what goes into keeping Garnet together through everything. Love takes work indeed. It's also worth pointing out that Connverse have been paralleled with both Pearlrose, Rupphire and (a little bit in We Need To Talk) Gregrose this way.

This show has so many layers, I swear, I'll be on my deathbed and I'll still find new nuances to write an essay about. Well done, Crewniverse.

[from-now-on-im-switzerland]

Oh mah God, your jasper fanfics are so stinking cute! A continuation of the baseball one would be perfect!

Like maybe after hanging out with her the feelings get stronger and he decides to distance himself in worry, and the reader, albeit confused, respects him and is a little heartbroken. Maybe at one point he worries about her for a moment when Emmett tells her she didn't look well (she's sleep deprived from stressing about him but trying to keep it to herself) so he pulls a creepy (can't find a better word) Edward and shows up outside her room and senses her heartbroken ness and feels like he has it too but brushes it off thinking it's just hers instead of his own. She starts getting closer to the wolfs and he tries acting like it doesn't bother him and pretends he could care less when she starts sitting with them in the cafeteria after he shows back up at school. And it's not until Alice has a vision of her getting discovered by volturi and "ended" that he starts keeping an eye on her again, and when a guard of the volturi blends in at the school and he notices does things begin and yeah....or something like that lol take the idea into your jar of boredom writing or something 😂

I feel like you'd write this perfectly! And spot on with the jasper and his accent..

Uhm...YES!? You're so creative this is such a good idea. I should be doing my college coursework right now, but this is all I'll think about so I'm doing it right now!! Also forgive the gammer 🥲😫

Okay, it won't be a DIRECT continuation of the Baseball one-shot bc it's already part of of a different fic I'm writing. I'm just gonna take out Y/n's friends but the baseball game still happened okay?

(sorry 🙏) (I don't know if that made sense.)

>I just like the cold.

>Jasperxf¡reader

>As I said, not a direct continuation but instead the start of a new series? (lmk)

>could be a tad longer that what I'd usually write 🥲

>TW, Panic Attack

°Jasper's POV°

When I saw her eyes for the first time, in that cramped hallway, I melted inside. My icey veins (filled with the venom that could end her life in an instant) were fueled with warmth as they must've once been long before. And that all too familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat hasn't left me alone since I caught her scent for the first time.

I thought it was just me being hungry. I hadn't eaten that day and it could've been that she just had tasty smelling blood. But knowing my luck, that obviously wasn't it. I can't put my family through this again, I just can't. I've tried to maintain a friendship with her for the fair few weeks she's been here but it's getting harder and harder.

I can't believe I was once angry or annoyed with Edward for falling for a human. I guess karma's a bitch huh? Y/n has no clue about my feelings, I hope. Why would I tell her? So I think it's best, for her safety if I just stop being friends with her. It'll keep her so much safer I know it will.

"I thought that too" Edward said, appearing in the corner of my room.

I didn't jump, I heard him race up the stairs.

"What?" I asked, annoyed I was interrupted by Mr Thought Police himself.

"About Bella. Remember when we left for half a year? And I left her? I thought it'd make her happy. Safe. But it took us both almost dying for me to realise we were safer together.." Edward said, reminding me of the very thing I wanted to try and avoid.

"But that's you, Eddie. You and Bella, by then she already loved you, by then she knew the risk and by then it was too late for stupid mistakes. I'm in a grey area right now, where she doesn't know a damn thing and I just want to keep her safe." I said, sighing as I heard Emmett approach my room aswell.

"Bro, she really likes us.." Emmett said, racing over to the other corner of my room. "I mean for some reason you specifically, but she's told me! We're actually like best friends now so if you want me to be the middle man..just let me know." He said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I've seen you together before, walking around the school. You've been especially close ever since you almost abliterated her head with a baseball...but oh well."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jasper?" Emmett teased. Edward laughed as he joined our brother over at his side of my room.

"No Emmett you don't, because I have no right to be jealous in the first place, she's not mine to be jealous over." I said, not meeting thier eyes.

"But you want her to be." Edward said.

This drew my attention as I looked up and saw his face. Care and amusement radiating off of him.

"I'm glad you find my dilemma so amusing, none of us ever laughed at you, you moody asshole" I said, throwing a pillow full force in his direction.

He caught it. "It's just funny to see how much of a little boy you're being about something that is so crystal clear" he said, tossing back the pillow.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked, fed up now.

"She's your singer. Just like Bella was mine. I've heard your thoughts, they're too loud to ignore. That feeling? that burning? It's nothing you've felt around anyone else is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but I don't want to have to go through the same old debate of “do we turn her or not” and that's even if she feels the same way.." I said.

"Dude, you're literally an empath. You can find out yourself" Emmett said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I hate using my gift on her as it is. The thought of manipulating her in any way makes my skin crawl, alright? If it's to help her then I can deal with it but I won't just use it to be nosy, that's not fair" I said. "you can still be friends with her if you want Emmett but I can't do it. I won't let myself drag her into this life. I know you wanted the same thing for Bella, Edward but maybe I can make it happen for Y/n. If anyone deserves a blessed life, it's her." I said, walking out my room, speeding out the house and into the forest to clear my head.

I just need to keep away from her. I'll keep her safe that way.

°Reader's POV°

This week had been..strange. Emmett had been even more friendly then he usually was; it was perhaps due to the fact that he could've killed me the other week with that baseball, but y'know, life goes on. And at no point had I even had a chance to speak to Jasper. Even in class, he'd moved seats. Of course, that was his last resort after they wouldn't let him change his lesson plan.

It ached my heart a little because, I really liked him and for some reason it's like a flip had been switched in his brain and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was Friday, and I was determined to atleast get a conversation with him.

While Emmett was babbling on about something to do with gorillas, I interrupted him. "Emmett when did you..uh...see Jasper last?" I asked.

"last I saw he was with Rose and Bella in the cafeteria.." I saw a small glint in his eye as he answered. "But..i don't think he wants to talk to you.." he said just as I began to walk off.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Is he..is he mad at me for something? Why won't he speak to me?" I rattled off a few of the questions I'd kept to myself all week.

"Woah, calm down. It's..." he hesitated. "it's not my place to say but I think he might just be trying to avoid talking to you because he knows if he does, he won't be able to not talk to you. " he said, in a really confusing tone.

"You've complicated this way too much than you needed to. Is he still there now?" I asked reffering to where he said he saw him.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

I took off without a thank you, which I felt bad about, but I was too focused on getting that conversation with Jasper.

I was almost running to the cafeteria, as I knew the bell was going to ring at any moment. I made it in the cafeteria and spotted him immediately, and he saw me too. His eyes met mine for less than half a second, before he looked to the floor.

He left his conversation with his sisters and went to walk out the opposite way that I was coming in. I ran this time, and caught up to him.

"Hey! What's going on? Have I done something?" I asked, needing answers.

He audibly sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in. "No, you haven't. You haven't done a thing, I promise." He said, and began to walk away again. I moved infront of him to stop him from walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, I wasn't finished. If I haven't done anything then what's the issue? Why can't you talk to me I want to be here for you." I tried to take a hold of his hands but he wouldn't let me touch him. And he didn't meet my eyes, he refused to even look at my face.

"Because...Y/n" I heard his voice shaking. "I just can't be around you, it's not your fault, you're not the reason why I just-" he paused, and bit his inner lip. "I just can't okay?" he said, pushing past me. He sped off down the hall not looking back, leaving me behind.

The bell rang through the halls, louder than I'd ever heard it before. It started to hurt my ears but my eyes couldn't pull away from his figure.

Tears swirled in my eyes as I watched him walk off, and my breath quickened. Then, what I feared, that feeling tightened up in my chest. No. Not a panic attack. I can't, not at school. I took one last look at Jasper walking off before racing back out of the cafeteria and into the school parking lot.

The cold air hit me like a kind wave, and the small droplets of rain coated my face as I looked up at the sky, desperaty wanting it to swallow me whole. It was a small sense of relief before the feeling washed back in like the tide. I ditched my backpack and jacket, throwing them on the floor, needing the coldness on my skin. I tried to slow my breathing down but it wasn't working. I made my way down the steps, now in a short sleeve t-shirt, tripping slightly on the last step as I made my way across the lot. My breathing wasn't slowing and I couldn't stop it, I guess I'd just have to ride it out.

"..Y/n?" I heard from the trees.

I span around, my breath not halting and my panic increasing. As my heart rate was about to rocket even more, Seth Clearwater stumbled out from the trees. I had met him a few times, he and his friends all the way down at the Reservation were good friends with the Cullens.

"Seth?" I aksed, I didn't want to start hallucinating people. That would be a whole new area for me that I wouldn't be able to keep up with.

He made his way over to me. "Yeah, it's me. It's Seth. What's going on? Hey...hey" he was inches away from me now. I tied to move away but he stepped closer in fear I was going to somehow hurt myself. My tears wouldn't stop and my head was looking very which way "Y/n. Look at me."

His order sent a small shockwave into me for a second and I snapped my eyes up, his face blurred due to the tears streaming from my eyes. He took his thumbs and wiped under my eyes, but new tears replaced the stains he wiped away.

"Breathe with me okay?" he asked.

I wanted to try, there's nothing I hate more than this shit. But sometimes you can't help but just ride out the attack until it's done. I nodded my head vigorously and he began to breathe, waiting for me to follow suit.

"Okay in..." he took a breath in and let it out softly. "..and out.."

I tried my best to follow suit but my throat needed as much air as it could get. And it kept speeding up the pattern.

"No Y/n with me, c'mon you got this.." he said, holding my hands.

"In.." he breathed in once again and I followed suit. "and out" he breathed out again.

Slowly but surely my breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace but my shaking didn't stop.

"there you go.." he continued the pattern as he slowly walked me over to a stone wall, and sat me down.

"You're freezing, Y/n." he said, touching my cheek after wiping yet another tear..

"I'll be fine..I like the cold when these things happen.." I laughed slightly, to ease the awkwardness, if there was any.

"I know, it helps a lot doesn't it?" he said, sitting down next to me.

"wait, you've-"

"yep" he cut me off, with a sheepish smile. "I get it. You're inside somewhere when that ugly feeling hits. You beeline it for the nearest exist and the air just gives you something else to feel. It doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps. The cold, it..it helps you feel something different other than that thing in your chest.." he said, describing what it was like for him.

I nodded along as he said so. "yeah..that's...exactly it." I smiled.

He looked up from staring at his feet and smiled back at me, before frowning. "Y/n your lips are slowly going blue, I know how much the cold helps but I won't let you catch hypothermia.." Seth said, pulling me into his chest and offering me a hug.

He was so so warm. It wasn't a stuffy warm either, the kind of warm where you feel sticky. It was that cozy warmth. That homely warmth on a winter morning.

I shivered in his arms at the contact. "Oh..jeez your pretty hot. Are you ill or something?" I asked.

He chuckled slightly. "No Y/n, I'm just a warm person.." he admitted.

"C'mon, let's get you back inside.." he said, rising us up to our feet.

"No!" I wriggled out of his grip, my heart fluttering again, in slight panic. I feel if I see him again today, I'll get worse.

He took hold of me again gently. "Okay..I'll take you home yeah? We just gotta grab your stuff that you graciously dumped on the stairs.." he said, smiling.

I laughed slightly as we walked slowly over to the steps. He jogged up them and picked up my stuff. He placed my jacket over my shoulders and carried my bag over to my car.

He walked confidently over to the drivers seat.

"I swear you're like..16 can you even drive?" I asked, a smile paying on my lips.

"I'm 17 now actually. And it's fine don't worry, hop in" he said, unlocking the car with my keys he must've taken from my pocket.

We got in the car and threw our seat belts on.

"Thanks for this Seth. Aren't you missing a lesson right now though?" I asked, I didn't want to ruin his education.

"Oh nah, me and the boys are on a part time timetable for this school and the one down by the Rez, so don't worry about it...anyways.....where's the handbreak?"

My eyes shot in his direction only to see him holding in a laugh.

"Uh. What do you mean where's the handbreak?" I asked.

He finally giggled. "Don't worry, I'm just joking. We'll be fine. I've never been to your house though, so you can be my sat nav" he smiled turning on the car, and pulling out of the car park.

°Jasper's POV°

I walked away from her. Every fibre of my being telling me to look back. I fought against it, but gave in. I looked back and saw a glimpse of her as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

What am I doing?

I felt the dread and panic leaking from her as I started to walk away. And I just left her. I left her feeling that way. I know I'm doing this to keep her safe but I can't pretend that I'm perfect, leaving her in fear.

Special thanks to my power, I'm extremely sensitive to even my own emotions and with years of practice I've managed to get a good control of it, but Y/n..I feel her emotions so much more than anyone else's.

My still heart is telling me not to go near her, to keep her safe...but her scent, as much as it tempts me, it deals me a great source of comfort..I can't explain it. I'm near her and I feel safe. I'm a monster and have nothing to fear really, but in her presence it's like we're the only two on earth.

Which is why I must do this. I can't that let angel be manipulated by the devil deep inside me. I won't allow it.

I let out the breath I was holding in during that encounter, again not that I needed to, but I think people would notice if I wasn't breathing. I made my way to the science block and yippee! I was next to Sire Brain Detective and his wife.

I was waiting outside the classroom to catch Bella before Edward got there. I caught her scent in the hallway and rushed to her side.

"Hey Bella, can you just maybe kinda block my thoughts from Edward please?" I asked, a sheepish smile following close behind.

"Why?" She asked, squinting her eyes a little.

"Well you've never had the problem, but Edward is very nosy. And I'd just like my thoughts kept to myself for today." I said.

We kept on walking into the classroom and to our seats.

"So it's nothing to do with Y/n then?" she quizzed.

Even hearing her name makes me feel sick.

"No. Bella..just please can you do it?" I was begging her at this point as I smelled Edward down the corridor.

She looked up as she caught his scent too. "Okay, but you owe me" she said.

"Thanks Bella." I said.

Edward walked in the class and met my eyes immediately, a hint of confusion crossed his face before he sat down next to his wife and realised. "Oh c'mon how is that fair?" he said.

"How is what fair?" Me and Bella said at the same time. We looked at eachother breifely before opening out books as instructed to.

°Reader's POV°

Awkward, sweaty and sleepless. That's all I feel right now. I close my eyes and he's there. I open my eyes an he's all I can imagine. Everything I tried, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even tried counting sheep, but the sheep soon morphed themselves into horses, then I soon saw him riding a horse, actually imagining him as a Cowboy. I snapped my eyes open and drank some water I left by the side of my bed, before making a last attempt to get some sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning in the same directions over and over again, I got up and opened my window. Again, the cold air washed over me and it was almost instant relief. Just like Seth said, it gives you something else to feel.

I watched the trees as they swayed in the wind, thier green leaves brushing against eachother at each breeze. Out of all the places my Mum had placed me while she did her book tour, Washington was probably my favourite so far, well specifically Forks. Since the beginning of the year, (when my Mum's book tour started) I'd been placed in a random city in the state she needed to visit, and Forks was this really nice and small town. Where everyone knew everyone. Of course, the thought of litteraly everyone talking about me as the new arrival didn't appeal to me at all, but when I had moments to myself, it was impossible for me not to gawk at the nature around me. The grey skies, while annoying to some, gave me a nice comforting feeling. The rain, which everyone hated, was my favourite weather. I don't know what it was.. I guess I just like the cold.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone buzzed under my pillow. It was my mum calling, I answered of course, but I wandered why she was calling at 4am.

"Mum? what's up?" I asked, trying to hide my tired voice.

"Oh my god Y/n I'm so sorry.. I forgot about the time zones...go back to sleep, I'll ring you at a better time.." she said.

"wait what do you mean the time zones? you're in Washington too?" I questioned, wandering what she meant.

"No..honey, that's why I called. I got to my hotel and they said they had my reservation booked for next year, so they flew me out to the state I was supposed to be in." She said, sounding ashamed. "I tried to mention you, and say how I could catch my own flight..but.. they-they wouldn't listen to me..."

"Mum... Mum it's okay, don't worry about it I'll be fine okay? Just make me proud." I said.

"but I only gave you enough money to last a couple months not over a year..nearly two! And you're in your last year of school, what will you do all day? How-"

"Mum" I cut her off "I'll get a job, it'll be fine. You've been doing book tours since I was like 15, I know how to live on my own." I said.

"but that was when you were 5 minutes down the road...or a bus drive away..now I'm on the other side of the country!" She panicked.

"wait, the other side of the country? where did they fly you to?" I asked. The phone went silent for a few seconds before she answered.

"I'm in Georgia, honey.." She said. "I called you as soon as I had time, I'm sorry I've left you there, I can book a flight and cancel the tour-"

"-No, Mum don't. I'm not gonna pretend hearing you were in Georgia didn't scare me a little bit, but I'm perfectly fine here in Forks. I like it here.." I said honestly.

"but honey-"

"No 'buts'." I said. "Mum some kids leave the nest at early ages, some never leave..maybe it's my time to make a life for myself.." I said, with tears threatening to spill.

"I-in Washington, are you sure?" Mum's voice was shaking by now.

"Mum, I'm old enough. I know it's scary, it'll be difficult too but.. sometimes life just throws you in a new direction and you can't help but see where it takes you.." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one full of wisdom little lady" she joked. "well...I guess it isn't the craziest idea you've had." she said, sadly.

"so yeah?" I asked.

She took a deep breath "Yes Y/n, yes. Start your life.." she said.

"Okay.." I said.

It wasn't long before I was off the phone and trying to sleep again. I prayed when I rested my head on the pillow, he wouldn't plug my mind, but much to my dismay he returned and my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and managed to drift off to sleep just before my alarm rang for me to start getting ready for school. The ringing of the bell threw me back to that moment. That moment he left. Just like that.

°Emmett's POV°

Since the day Jasper told Y/n that he couldn't be near her anymore, she hasn't been in. And I'm worried about how she's taken it.

I didn't tell Jasper I was gonna go pick Y/n up today as I didn't want him to go all emo and be like “ugh you're gonna smell like her all day!” so I instead took my absolutely, positively, non-judgemental wife.

"So why are we on our way to a humans house right now?" Rose asked me from the passenger's seat of my jeep. "what purpose is she serving us other than pleasing our noses?"

"Babe, she's my friend..and I'm worried about how she is. She didn't come in at all last week since Jasper didn't want anything to do with her, and I'm not gonna let my idiot of a brother be the reason she fails school.." I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

Rose went silent and looked out the window. "Just let me know when we're there.." she said, closing her eyes.

"That would be now.." I said, pulling up outside her house.

I got out the jeep while Rose stayed in, and made my way to the front door. I hesitated before knocking and waited for an answer. A good minute went by, so I knocked again and as I did, the door flew open.

"I told you three times already, Mrs Henderson doesn't live here anym-" she cut herself off when she saw my amused face.

She rubbed her eyes. "Emmett?"

"The one and only!" I replied.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was drained, and she looked a lot less bubbly than before. Her eyes drooped slightly and dark circles hung below them from lack of sleep.

"To get you to school, missy!" I said, not wanting to comment about the elephant in the room.

"But Emmett, Jasper said-"

"Fuck what Jasper said, it's your life and it's your school too. What..just because he's being a little bitch right now that means you can't get educated? I don't see how that's fair.." I said, crossing my arms.

She rolled her half-lidded eyes. "Okay, let me get changed.." she said, turning back into her house and shutting the door.

I celebrated my victory behind the wood of the closed door and waited for her to open it again. I sat on the step and prepared to wait, when the door swung open again. She stepped out with all her stuff. "C'mon then, let's go." she said, plastering on a fake smile.

"I thought you were atleast gonna cook some breakfast? It's like half seven in the morning..." I said, standing up and leading her to the jeep.

"Nah...not hungry." she said, climbing in.

I got in too, and put the radio back on.

"Hey Rosalie" Y/n said, tiredly a sheepish smile across her face.

My head quickly turned to my wife and I begged her with my eyes to be nice. But she didn't even look at me and instead looked for Y/n in the wing mirror.

"Jasper's an idiot, but he cares about you and he's doing this for your own good, I'd take it as a win." she said, before closing her eyes again and turning up the radio.

I started the jeep up again after a small awkward silence with nothing but the music blaring and began to drive to the school.

"yeah but does he know how much it's actually hurting?" Y/n whispered, any normal person wouldn't have heard it but of course me being a beautiful, immortal, gifted being...I did.

Passing through the familiar streets of Forks, it didn't take me long to get to the school, I parked the jeep and Rose got out. I turned around in my seat to face Y/n. Her sleep-deprived look catching me off guard once again.

"You ready girl?" I asked, grinning.

She sighed. "Not really, Emmett" she replied sadly, staring at a particular stone wall in the car park.

"Well c'mon, you got this. Let's go" I said, getting out.

It wasn't long before she climbed out herself. As she shut the door.

"Thanks for dragging me in Emmett, but I'm gonna go incase he appears from around the corner or something.." she said, with low energy as she dragged her feet toward the doors of the school.

°Reader's POV°

I couldn't thank Emmett more, I wouldn't have been able to get here on my own accord. It's just a shame I didn't have the energy to express my gratitude to him as much as I wanted to.

It was about 10 minutes until my first lesson so I walked to the cafeteria to get a drink. As I opened the doors, I saw Seth and some of his friends from the Rez sat at a table and so I wasted no time in going over there.

"What are you lot doing here?" I asked.

"Part time, time-table in each school! How do you keep forgetting that?" one of them said.

"Uhm..Seth?" I looked to him for help, I could barely remember any of the other's names.

"Alright, sit down." he pulled a chair from the table behind him and turned it next to him, facing their table. "Here we have Quil, Leah my sister, and Embry." he said.

I had only met the rest of them once but Seth I had seen a number of times, and he's who I was closest to...now for a very obvious reason.

"So what's your first lesson?" Quil asked.

"Science.." I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek afterward to simmer down the anxiety I felt creeping in.

I started boucing my leg too, which Seth took notice to. He offered me a smile, which I returned, weak as ever.

The bell rang, louder than before, and I covered my ears, burying my head down against my chest. Each time I hear that bastard bell it gets louder and louder, and the memory of that last conversation with him gets clearer and clearer in my mind.

°Jasper's POV°

"I'm telling you man..she's-"

Emmett would not stop. I told him I didn't want to hear it, but he was following me all over our house, not leaving me alone.

"her eyes don't look the same, she doesn't have nearly as much energy as she used to, I haven't seen her smile, and if I'm being honest I don't think she's eating properly.." Emmett said.

Hearing his words made my non-beating heart ache.

"I've been picking her up all week and she never eats breakfast, and when was the last time I saw her eating in the cafeteria? Uhh let me think, I haven't!" he said, in my face.

I was looking at the floor, guilt riddling my body. She's like this because of me.

"I get it. Emmett. Okay?" I spat, my voice quavering.

He moved back slowly, almost realising that this was hurting me too, and left my room.

After staring out the window for another moment or two, I sped off out the house before anyone could question it. I ducked and dived between branches, breaking them if they were too big for me to dodge. I raced through the woods rembering the route to her house when I met her before school, when we first started to talk to each other. I ran to her. Wondering what I was going to do when I got there, would I beg her to forgive me? Would I stop this madness and just tell her everything? At this point, I couldn't see anything but her angelic face, and hear her sweet voice and before I knew it, I came to a swift stop by the trees of her house.

I approached it slowly, still deciding what to do, until I lingered by the side of the house where her bedroom was. I climbed up a tree that rested just by it and waited to see her or atleast hear her.

"fuck sake..just go away!" I heard her complain as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "You don't want anything to do with me so why won't you get out of my head!" She panicked, her voice wailing as she spoke.

"It's not fair.." she said after a minute of silence. She got up. "It's not fair." she repeated. She tossed her chair on the floor. "It's not fair!" she threw a picture frame against the wall. She repeated those three words, growing more aggressive each time and trashing a new part of her room until she ran out of energy.

She breathed heavily and sunk against the wall, sobbing. She cried, and it was like a thousand hot knives were cutting me all over. She cried and I had to fight as hard as I could not to rush in there.

She cried and I felt heartbreak. My breath quickened too, as her emotions laced with my own. Sat in the tree in that moment I didn't know which emotions were mine and which were hers.

She cried and cried until she fell asleep, and that's when some of her emotions filtered away from my body. Though she fell asleep and tears were still staining her cheeks, the aching in my heart wouldn't leave or subside. It stayed.

[artxmus]

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ミ ˖ ✞ JACKPOT

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀synopsis ミ ˖ ✧ you thought you scored the jackpot in a man; he was hot, and nice. what more could you ask for? ─ there was only one thing, he wasn't looking for a date that night.

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀warnings ミ ˖ ✧ minors do not interact obviously, this game is not for you. drugging. kangaroo goes by a fake name. the reader is kinda miserable and sad guys. it's gender neutral.

word count ─ 1417 words

you had stepped away from the dating scene for a while ─ after a few.... not so great encounters that left a bad taste in your mouth whenever you thought of trying again. your friends didn't much seem to understand why you would want to stay single, but it'd become easy to tune them out after enough of their chatter.

that night had been no different from your friends' usual antics, dragging you away for a night out that you didn't much protest to like you usually would. you'd been busy and stressed, so a night out didn't seem all that bad to you; and so, you gave in to their demands after a bit of back and forth, dressed nice, and went out with them.

you weren't much of a drinker, your friends knew that, and yet you found yourself sitting in that bar for hours, taking refuge in a corner away from your friends who downed drink after drink, becoming too rowdy for you to keep up. the only you reason hadn't left, was because you didn't want to leave them (a mistake on your part you'd come to realize).

and that's when he approached you; and while you'd normally try to shrug off whoever it was, ignore them and hope they'd go away, as you normally did on the night your friends dragged you out; you just didn't this time. you couldn't, not when he approached you with such a grin that was almost a little chesire, and what looked like a burn scar that covered half his face (he was attractive, you had to admit to yourself, and you think the scar made him even more so). curiosity got the better of you, and you turned to him when he pulled up a seat beside you and greeted you so friendly.

attractive or not, you eyed him skeptically, returning his greeting slowly, "hello?"

"you look like you don't want to be here."

you blinked at him; well, he wasn't wrong.

he glanced off towards the group you'd been staring at, your friends finding dance partners with each other or strangers they picked up conversation with, drinks in hand. ─ you're not sure how you found yourself interacting with such a crowd, but you did, and you simply couldn't get yourself to cut off contact when they were the only people you could call friends.

"your friends?" he asked, and again, perhaps just being paranoid, you eyed him with furrowed brows and an expression that gave way to your thoughts. he chuckled, his grin remaining as wide as it was since he sat down next to you (and you can't argue with your mind when you thought he sounded hot ─ maybe it was the alcohol talking), "you stare, a lot. anyone ever tell you that?"

he leaned back in his chair, twisting his body to spread his legs and rest an arm on the back and his chin on his wrist, still smiling at you. and now you were flustered, and again, you blamed the alcohol as you glanced back at your friends, oblivious to the interaction between you and the scarred man.

you tried not to stutter when you answered, "yeah, they're my friends. i'm kinda the one who looks out for them."

"did they drag you out here?"

you chuckled awkwardly, shoulders loosening from the tense way you had first regarded the conversation with the man, "is it obvious?"

he held out his hand, an arm covered in a scar similar to the one on his face, and looking almost pink against the lighting of the bar. as you met his hand with your own, there was a quiet note in the back of your head, mentioning how strong he was, firm in shaking your hand, (and you weren't all that surprised). and that only made you just a little more flustered.

"i'm jasper."

you returned his smile, "[name]."

you're not sure how exchanging words with him that night led to what it did ─ dates and a blooming relationship that you were hoping to make official, call him your boyfriend. ─ and you think, you hit the jackpot; he was nice, and hot. what more could you ask for?

─ nothing, you think; because he was everything.

"you're going over to his place?" your roommate asks, staring at you with a tease in their grin as you sat down on the couch beside them, dressed comfortably as you waited for jasper to come pick you up for a quiet night at his. as always, they were ready to poke and prod at you, "i thought you'd never get here. i mean, you, really?"

you glanced at them from the corner of your eye, and then you sighed and shook your head, unamused by their antics (why you continued to put up with them, you're not sure ─ well, yeah you are, after all, they paid half the rent.) you scoffed as you scrolled aimlessly on your phone, waiting for that text to let you know jasper was there to save you from whatever else your roommate had to say, "very funny."

they laughed, and the familiar ping of your phone as the message appeared at the top of the screen gave you relief, a simple 'i'm outside' leading to you standing up and quickly saying goodbye to your roommate.

but they made sure to get in one final jab just before you left, "try to get laid while you're there!"

half the rent, you reminded yourself, half the rent ─ and then you were shutting the door behind you and quickly marching outside the building with haste to reach your date's car.

as you slide into the passenger's seat, he's glancing at you curiously, a smile on his face you've come to get used to, and really enjoy seeing, "you don't look happy."

"just," you sigh through your nose, and lean back against the seat, sending him a tense smile, "it's just my roommate, don't worry about it."

he hums, but he doesn't pry. and you try to ignore how annoyed you'd been in favor of focusing on wants to come ─ you were going to have a quiet date with the nicest guy you'd ever managed to bag, you weren't going to let your roommates teasing ruin that.

and you didn't; because after a box of pizza, a few beers, and some movies in, you were laid back on the couch as he hovered over you, a hand in your hair and stealing your breath away in a heated kiss. you can feel his hand on your waist, lifting your shirt and running his fingers along your side. his scar tickles your skin, and then he's grabbing your waist and keeping you still against the cushions. you moan into his mouth, your arms tightening around his neck as you attempt to pull him closer than he already was.

you're kind of dizzy from it all, your fingers grabbing at his shirt. you're lost to the kiss, completely distracted by his touch. so much so that everything else becomes muffled to your ears and a blur to your mind.

─ and then there's an unmistakable sharp pain in your neck that has you jolting and pulling away from jasper. your hands leave his shirt and you're grasping at your neck, just where you felt the pinch. you're looking up at jasper as he continues to hover over you, his smile wide and playful as it always was, and yet there's something else, a more malicious lip to it that causes you to reoil ─ or, at least try to, with your back pressed against the arm rest of the couch there's not much distance you can't put between you and him after all.

"what─" you're spluttering over your words, your thoughts a mess from alarm and the make out with him that had only just been interrupted.

you can just barely register as he drags a scarred thumb against your cheek, not all that reassuring as your faced with a smile that held intent, "this was fun," he said, and your heart races as his voice begins to muffle to your ears, "but i have a job to do. you understand, right?"

your vision becomes spots of black, and you think, for a moment as your consciousness begins to fade; you really shouldn't have let your friends drag you out that night.

so much for bagging the nicest guy, right?