#jared kleinman hc
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sincerealev · 4 months ago
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Thank you @milksteakkk for giving me an excuse to talk about them too 🕺🏻
Here goes:
Alana is a lesbian, and Jared is gay. Mlm 🤝 wlw solidarity
The way Alana discovered she was a lesbian is that she was watching a movie with Julie Andrews and then she was just hit with the realization
→ (Yes she had/has a crush on Julie Andrews, especially in The Sound Of Music)
Honestly, I think she'd enjoy vintage musical movies
Jared probably had a celebrity crush on Keanu Reeves at one point. I thought of this just now and it just made sense to me
Jared is the shortest of the friend group. Like, 5'5
→ Alana is slightly taller than him, like 5'6 or 5'7 (and then Evan is taller than her, like 5'9, for reference)
Jared's wardrobe is a mess, in the way that generally every morning he'll just put on whatever he finds first in his closet, doesn't take time to meticulously choose clothes that match
→ His favorite shirt is one that has a picture of a bowling ball knocking some bowling pins, and in comic sans it just says "bowling" underneath
Alana is the opposite, of course. She chooses her outfit of the day the night prior
Honestly, she's very grandmacore
→ She lives with her grandma too (yes, I know in canon she said her grandma died, but also, everyone has two sets of grandparents so shhh,,)
Jared collects stuff like miniature dinosaur figures or rocks. And also has a vast collection of comics, from vintage comics to the newest ones
Alana loves baking, when she's not busy with school work and such. Almost every week she'll come to school with baggies of cookies, or a Tupperware with cake to share with her friends :-)
She volunteers in a local library
Jared is kind of lazy, or more like distracted when it comes to school, but he also doesn't slack. He always ends up doing his assignments, studying for tests, and getting good grades (but the majority of the time he leaves stuff for the day before, which he regrets everytime)
When he's bored in class Jared will color in the squares in a notebook page with pencil
As patient and calm as she is, Alana can visibly get angry if you get in her nerves (this refers to Jared most of the time). She's good at controlling her anger though
→ Both Alana and Jared bicker a lot, honestly. It's kind of funny to see
Jared has three pairs of glasses. One of them are prescription sunglasses, which he uses to feel cool
For college, Jared studied software engineering or computer science
As for Alana, maybe she studied law or something to become a lawyer maybe?
→ I thought of that just now because I feel like she's very good at debating, and she's very neat and organized in everything she does, loves public speaking, uses logical reasoning all the time... Y'know. Tell me what you think :0
I think that's enough hcs or this will get very long. What do you guys think 🕺🏻
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Here's a drawing of them (ft. Evan) me and my gf @devildarling08 made :-) (it's from a boarding school AU we made together)
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homo-phoneic · 2 years ago
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Jared likes pushing his friends drinks off tables like a cat. They are all used to it by now but it's still really annoying
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spacexriri · 1 year ago
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jared kleinman listens to mcr /hc
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thesillychro · 5 months ago
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hmmmm, for the character asks how about 2 12 and 22 for jared kleinman?
JARED YAY!!!! He's my favorite in deh
2. That's actually a tough one, but I like how he's described to be insecure and all that cause ik damn well he is not the way he is just for nothing (if this makes sense)
12. Tbh I'm STILL on with the Jared and Alana potential weird friendship thingy,,, considering like everything?? I like to say "oh gay/lesbian (hc!!!) solidarity haha" but I think about them a LOT
22. I don't read fics too often BUT I would want people to portray him more accurately (obviously). I feel like some fanfic writers make his shell(?) break too easily and it doesn't feel right. I like when they make him make a. typical Jared joke every now and then tho cause his humor is one of my favorite traits I think
Idk if any of these make sense BUT JARED!!!!!!!!!!!
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sincerely-mike-faist-blog · 7 years ago
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“I’m not wearing a tie.” (Connor Murphy x Reader Imagine)
a/n: this is my first imagine so don’t sue me if it’s not good ok
tw; i don’t think there is any,,swearing???? if that even counts as a trigger
this is an au connor fic bc as jared would say “this doesn’t even sound like connor” so don’t attack me
you and connor have been dating since the summer before sophomore year. you remember the day he asked you out like it was yesterday.
neither of you are particularly good students, so you both were in summer school. connor didn’t really talk much, and it’s not that his grades were bad, but he never consistently came to school, so he had to make up all the school he missed in summer school.
during a lunch break one day, you decided to go sit by the tall boy with long hair and dark clothes.
when you sat down he rolled his eyes and went back to eating his lunch.
“so what’s your deal, hot topic?” you laughed at yourself. he looked up at you and cocked an eyebrow.
“and why are you talking to me?” he said without making direct eye contact.
“because you’re sexy and mysterious.” you winked at him and he scoffed.
he would never actually hold a full conversation with you. but every day, you sat in the same spot until one day he went;
“jesus, with all the time you spend around me it’s like you’re waiting for me to ask you out or something.” he chuckled and looked down at his lunch.
“well, actually i am.”
he almost choked on his diet coke. “wait, w-what?”
“pick me up tonight at 7.” you stood up, smiled at him, and walked away.
ever since that night, you guys have been together.
now it was senior year, and prom was coming up. and knowing connor, it was going to take a lot of convincing to get him to go.
you sat next to your boyfriend, who was on the bed lacing up his combat boots.
“so connor...”
“y/n, whatever you’re about to ask me, the answer is absolutely not.”
“come on you don’t even know what i was going to ask!” you gently shoved his chest.
he stood up so you stood in front of him, him towering over you.
“fine, what is it, y/n, my loving girlfriend?”
“so, you know how senior prom is com-“
he cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.
“as i was saying, absolutely not.” he booped your nose and started to walk out the door.
you laid on the ground and started going;
“coNnNORRRRrRRRR”
he rolled his eyes and laughed at you.
“y/n, you know how i feel about dances, why would i purposefully put myself in a room with a bunch of sweaty kids who don’t know how to wear deodorant?”
you made your best puppy dog eyes.
“god fucking dammit, y/n. i swear to god if i let you convince me i will-“
“pleaseconnoriloveyousomuch” you repeated several times pulling on the hem of his shirt.
“fine. i will go for an hour. that’s it.” he said crossing his arms over his chest.
your eyes lit up brighter than the sun.
“oh my god, we’re going to look so cute, i will get a pretty dress and we can get you and suit and tie-“
“i’m not wearing a tie.” he said sternly.
“CONNOR THAT’S THE HOTTEST PART.” you yelled.
“nope.”
“connor come on, we can give you some 2009 my chemical romance vibes!” you smiled a toothy grin.
“y/n, do i have toooo?” he said like a child.
“yes, and that’s final.”
he chuckled to himself.
“wow, look at you, ms. i think i’m hot shit and i can tell people what to do.” he put his hands up in defense.
you poked your bottom lip out and looked at your shoes.
“oh shut up you know i’m kidding.”
you giggled and he blushed. he looked away from you, not liking you seeing him blush.
“murphy- are you..blushing?” you ran around to his front and poked his cheek.
he gently grabbed your hand and you expected him to make a snarky comment, but he kissed your hand, sighed, and said;
“i hate dances. i hate school. but i love you. so i will go with you,” he rolled his eyes at the next part,
“..and i’ll wear a tie.”
you grabbed the sides of his head and kissed all over his face.
spoiler alert; you guys won prom king and queen.
-
requests are open!
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sinn-three-hcs · 7 years ago
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Through the window
sincerely three HC trying to sneak into your house through your window and how the night is spent
Evan:
first time you asked him to come over at night he almost  tried to knock on the front door.
n e r v o u s
”What if your parents see me” ”What if you’re naked” What if.....”
soon gets really good
always comes in flustered
always came over to “study’” but both of you would get sidetracked
he would listen to you ramble for hours before you two realized the sun came up
i bet evan is really good at making you get sleepy. When he realizes how late it got he can easily just start rubbing your back and running his fingers through your hair just right and you are fast asleep.
he would never tell you but he loves watching you sleep?
he has a bunch of pictures of you sleeping on his phone so calm and cute
little does he know you also have many pics of him sleeping
Jared:
 he would just come over without asking, after school, before school, 3 am you guys would spend anytime you could together.
would come over  some nights when he would be lil horny
he didn't always come for a booty call//
would defiantly come to just watch Netflix
if yall did the nasty he gets off HARD on the possibility of one of your family members coming in,
always brings snacks.I feel like you guys would have a specific emoji to ask each other to come over
you are on the second floor so its hard for him to climb but he loves you and keeps doing it
somehow manages to leave an article of clothing every time he has his own laundry pile
Connor:
a PRO
honestly so stealthy and knows how to not leave a trace
he always makes sure you are ok with him coming over bc one time you were not home and your dog went NUTS.
you guys would mainly spend your times showing each other new music you found and little things that reminded you of another.
you would read to him aLL the TIMe
he would come over to get away from his house and he loved the smell of you’re room
he wouldn't get much sleep when he was home but he would knock out in your arms.
most days he’s big spoon but he loves it when he’s little spoon and you read to him.
-
i take requests :D
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ribbon-anon · 7 years ago
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Jared Kleinman as a cat person
-Jared's always loved cats
-like, dogs aren't bad
-but cats are his fave
-he has a 3 year old tuxedo Maine Coon
-named Harrison Ford
-bc he couldn't decide between Han or Indiana
-such a nerd
-anyway
-Harrison Ford is the dumbest cat
-the tip of his tongue is always sticking out
-he's Jared's pride and joy
-he has a huge cat tree for him
-sleeps with Jared every night
-sometimes at his feet but mostly next to his head
-Jared loves his baby boy and wants 10 more
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hxveidoneenough · 7 years ago
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Reader in labor HC with Sincerely Three!
I’ve never done HC’s before so I apologize if this is crap but this is my first ever request!!! SO lets get started
Lets start with the meme boy Jared
- ok so jared n u have been together since ur senior year of high school
- you now live together in a cute little apartment
- I feel like jared would be the funny guy in an office job so that’s what he does
- he works in an office and you don’t work right now because YOURE REALLY PREGNANT
- As the days get closer to ur due date, Jared is like ’ hhhh maybe I should stay home with you today babe what if u go into labor AND IM NOT HERE’
- u make him go anyways
- but one day this actually happens n you go into labor while Jared is at work lke 30 minutes away so you call his mom first to have her come get you
- she rushes you to the hospital and once youre there, you finally call Jared and are like ‘ so uh remember how I kept telling you I wasn’t going to go into labor while u were at work? Sike, got u.”
- Jared FREAKS OUT
- ‘waIT WHAT?!’ he screams so loudly his mom can faintly hear it across the room like this boy has a loud voice anyway but holy hell when he yells
- ‘ I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU DIDNT I FUCKING TELL YOU’ Jared screamed and you could basically hear him running out of the office until he gets stopped by the lady at the front desk 
- ‘no i have to leave my partner is pushing a CHILD out right now. well Brenda i don’t care if ur son fell and broke his arm, my child is being BIRTHED.’
- even though he was 30 minutes away, he got to u in record time
- he basically kicked the door open and jumped into the room
- he is def doing a super man pose and winks at you
- you threaten to throw him out of the room before hes even sat down
- fast forward a little bit n your contractions have gotten pretty bad and youre laying on your side with your eyes closed, your hand gripping on the side of the bed so hard jared think you might break it
- ‘ babe ur joking to she hulk the bed and I CANNOT AFFORD THAT’
- you flip him off but go back to aggressively squeezing the bed until this contraction passed for a few moments and you were able to release the bed
- BUT LIKE TW MINUTES LATER THEY WERE BACK AND YOU WENT TO REACH FOR JAREDS HAND INSTEAD OF THE HOSPITAL BED AND HE LIKE PULLS HIS HAND BACK FROM YOU
- ‘youll break  my hand are you crazy I NEED THIS HAND TO DEFEAT ZOMBIES’
- you grab his hand anyways and squeeze it even harder than you had been the bed jut out of spite
- ‘OW OW OW YOU BITCH OH GOD MY HAND’
- u look up at him with these deadly eyes and he instantly shuts up and is just like ‘ i love u (y/n) ‘
- a few hours later and it was time to push so u make sure that Jared’s hand is laced with yours and you squeeze it every time
- hes trying to say encouraging words but its more like ‘wow babe - ow - you’re doing so - fucking ow - wonderful - god my hand is going numb - just keep going babe!!!’
- about an hour later the doctor places a baby boy on your stomach and Jared literally fucking cheers
- the doctor has jared cut the chord and after that they take your son off to clean him up n stuff but the whole time jared sits by your side with that big goofy smile on his face as he tells you that he loves you
OK NOW THE LEGS CONNOR MURPHY
- Connor and u were sitting at home when you went into labor bc it was late at night
- ur watching some movie and u glanced up at connor and are like ‘ hhh either i just peed myself or my water just broke’
- the boy literally JUMPS up from where he was sitting and glances at you before he grabs your hands and pulls you up
-he tells you to go out to the ca so you do that while he gathers the bags that you two had spent the time making up in the previous weeks
-he walks outie trying to be as calm as he can but once he gets in the car he just glances over at you and says ‘holy fuck’ before he starts off towards the hospital
-at this point your contractions aren’t close together but when they do hit they fucking hurt like nothing you have ever experienced before so when the first big one hits you groan in pain and COnnor looks over at you all worried and is lik e
- ‘is everything ok, goddammit I’m going as fast as i can without being pulled over but all this fuCKING traffic is making it hard to get FUCKING anywhere.’
- you put your hand on his leg and are just like ‘connor stfu its fine i was having a contraction buts its passed right now so its fine ok’
- he eventually gets you to the hospital and you get into the bed with all the chords attached to your stomach
- i feel like connor has been super nervous for this because hes so scared that hes gonna be a bad dad that when he sits down next to you he just kind of like shuts down and starts to completely doubt himself
- but ofc you know whats going on so you just grab his hand and tell him its all gonna be ok bc obviously neither f you have any real idea how to be a parent yet and youll figure it out together
- he looks at you with those super pretty eyes and u just smile at him
- he loves u so much and he feels so lucky to have someone  like you who makes him feel like this is all going to be ok instead of the way his father had been making him feel by like teling him hes gonna be a bad dad
- a few hours later and its finally time to push and Connor lets you hold his hand the entire time and hes just completely ignoring the fact that youre basically breaking his hand and he just keeps telling u how great youre doing
- ‘youre doing great (y/n), squeeze my hand all you want. Take all the fucking anger out on my hand its fine’
- the doctor puts a little girl on your chest and you tear up as u look at her
- and so does connor because ike ffuck he has a daughter and someone who is going to love him and that he already loves so much?? like he didn’t think he could love anything this much other than u until he saw his daughter
- the doctor has connor cut the chord and he does it really slowly before the little girl is taken away to get cleaned up.
- connor sits down beside of you and he rubs your hair out of your face and kisses your forehead gently
- that boy loves u and his little family so much and he swears that he is going be ten times better than his family ever was to him
OK NOW EVAN
- SO LIKE- Evan and you go over to Heidi’s every Tuesday for taco Tuesday and game night right??
- so you guys are sitting there eating and playing uno when suddenly you have this weird pain in your stomach and it’s not at all like when the baby kick so you just kind of pause and it’s your turn so Heidi and Evan both give you a confused look- ’ uh (y/n) are you ok?’
- you just nod your head and shrug your shoulders b are like ya just a pain but it’s gone now- so you start playing again
- Until the pain comes back and it’s worst that before so you once again take a deep breath and just sit there for a moment and this is when evan starts like getting really nervous and yoy can tell because his starting to pull on the corner of his cards- Heidi asks you if you’re sure you’re ok and you just nod your head
- until ur water breaks and ur just sitting a small puddle of water in your seat-u don’t wanna freak out evan so u ask him to go get you a drink from the kitchen and once he leaves, u whisper to Heidi that u think ur water broke
- AND SHE LIKE SQUEALS- Evan comes back in when he hears the squeal and is like ???? what??? -AND HEIDI IS LIKE “(Y/N) THINKS THEIR WATER BROKE”
-and evan drops the glass of water he had in his hands and it goes everywhere and u snicker- ‘now Evans water has broken’ and Evans eyes go wider than before
- ‘this is uh no times for jokes!! we gotta go!!’ Evan says and you nod your head and get up-Heidi drives u to the hospital and drops you and evan off before she goes back to the your and Evans house to get the bags you had packed
- the doctor gets you all situated and checks you and is like ???- had u waited any longer to come in yoy might have been having the baby at home because you were like 8cm
- ur like ??? I barely feel anything what the fuck-the doctor shrugs and chuckled
-evan is sitting by your bed and he’s obviously an anxious mess
- his leg is bouncing and his face is all red and his fidgeting with the bed sheets- bc like what if the baby doesn’t end up liking him and what if he’s a bad dad and messes up when it comes to taking care of the baby and goodness the boy is just a mess
- but u just smile at him and place hand on his and just whisper calming words to him- Heidi shows up with the bags you had packed and she just smiles at the scene of her son and the person he loves all lovey dovey and about to be parents
-the doctor comes in like 20 minutes later and tells u that it’s time to push so you get all situated-evan grabs your hand and is squeezing it WAY tighter than you’re squeezing his and you can’t help but laugh
-it takes like 3-5 pushes and the doctor puts a little girl on your stomach and asks evan if he wants to cut the chord and he nods-but when the doctor puts the scissors in his hands and they’re shaking like crazy and he takes one step into doing it before
- he passes out-like he drops to the floor and you burst out laughing because you knew he was nervous but not that nervous
-Heidi laughs and helps evan up and he cuts the chord with her help and he just keeps staring at the baby and he just can’t comprehend that he made that- he just loves you and his baby so much snd he’s so excited to be a dad now
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ilosebookmarks · 7 years ago
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OK Y’ALL SKIN SHOES IS BACK FROM BEING A GROWN UP
GROWING UP SUCKS, KIDS. I DON’T RECOMMEND IT.
Anyway, I’ve got a (late) fill for @problematicc-favs sin children and @watch-the-whole-world-disappear flower anon in particular, who requested: 
Jared and Dom reader and him being like "there's no way that they're a better dom than me" and being proven w a y wrong idk how but Jared keeps being cocky about it and saying he's better and the reader just tells him to shut up and proves him so wrong.
This kind of turned more into Jared being a fuckin smartass who doesn't think you can dom(me) him and you proving him very wrong.
Pretty damn gender neutral! reader ftw (hopefully -- I really did try) 
UNDER  A CUT BECAUSE IT’S LONG (~1k)
ENJOY, FOLKS. I’m open for requests. 
OK, so Jared is one of those casual Doms who only really gets dominant in the moment, and only when it feels right
He's actually pretty vanilla most of the time and talks about being kinky to sound more experienced. Y'all aren't in the lifestyle or anything, is what I'm trying to get across
One day you pitch the idea of dominating him, and he just bursts out laughing
He's had you pinned down and moaning and calling him Sir, and you think YOU can dominate HIM? HA fucking HA yeah right, but you go ahead and try, (y/n)
And oh man, the best way to make sure you excel at something is for someone to doubt you. So you start planning your revenge
Next time you're making out and it's getting steamy you ask if he's still up for letting you try to dom(me).
“If you think you’re up for the challenge, y/n. But I don’t know that you can handle all of this” (he gestures to himself)
"Oh my god. No more from you. Strip, you dork."
"But there's no music, babe."
You're fueled by 60% spite and 40% horniness by this point
"Shut up, Kleinman."
You never tell him to shut up. Those words usually make you feel kind of mean, but they suit the situation, and he's shocked enough to comply
"The only words I want to hear from you are please, thank you, and my name."
"What about fuck?” You give his butt a little swat.
“Shit?” A sharper smack to his ass,
“Oh god?”
You'll allow it.
He’s finally naked, in all his soft-bodied glory, posed with a hand on his hips and a bratty “now what?” smile on his lips. “On the bed, Jared.”
“You can end this whenever you want, baby. Remember that, okay? If it hurts, or you’re scared, or you just don’t like it, all you have to do is safeword and I PROMISE I’ll stop. Deal?” He nods. You seal it with a small kiss, followed by a more heated one, until you’re pulling his hair and full on making out.
He’s lowkey impressed by your speech because he never does anything kinky enough to really require a safeword. It makes him nervous, but in a good way, like he’s excited to see what’s coming.
You have him lie down on his back and grab the bars of the headboard.
“I’m gonna ride you, okay?” He moans. “But if your hands leave those bars,,,everything stops until I’ve made sure you won’t be moving anymore.” He whimpers.
“Holy shit, (y/n).”
“Color?”
“So green, (y/n)”
You get yourself ready, making a show of it for him, making more mess and noise than usual just to drive him crazy. 
When you finally straddle him his cock is d r i p p i n g
the poor boy has been so turned on for so long.
“Are you ready, babe?”
“P-please...please, (y/n)”
“Okayyy...” You slowly tease the head of his cock over your hole, You love the way he whines, it makes you feel sexy and powerful, so you keep it up.
You can see the twitching in his arms and hands as he struggles to keep them still and where they’re supposed to be. 
You decide to put him out of his misery and slide down the remaining length of his cock in one fluid movement.
Jared s h r i e k s   and thrusts up, but you pull up off him
“(Y/N)! (Y/N), PLEASE. PLEASE” he’s sort of sobbing without actually crying, and you didn’t know that that was a Thing for you, but damn, apparently it is. 
“Please what, hon?” you tease.
“Please...” his already flushed face gets even redder. “Please...(whispers) fuck me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.” You’re teasing his slit with one hand and holding down his hips with the other, “Please what?”
Every part of Jared is shaking. “Fuck me! God, (y/n), please fuck me! I’ll be good! I’ll be so good, just ride me, please, fuck...”
You cut off his babbling with a long, passionate kiss. When you come up for breath you check that his hands are in position, that his arms and shoulders haven’t locked up, and hover over his cock once more.
There’s no other way to say it, reader: you ride him into the fuckin mattress. 
You’re loud and expressive and you take exactly what you want and get exactly what you need, and all Jared can do is watch and moan, whimper, sob, desperately gripping the headboard.
After you come you sort of collapse face first into him, giving him lots of kisses and soft caresses that you know he desperately wants to return. 
But there’s still one small issue...ya boy is still rock hard.
“Was that not hot enough for you, Kleinman? You still think I can’t dominate the fuck out of you? Hm?” You lightly pinch his nipple and he closes his eyes in pleasure.
“Hey, none of that. Look at me.” 
He does. You hold eye contact and slowly start stroking his dick.
“Now admit it.”
“Admit what?” Like this idiot doesn’t know. You stop stroking and he whines again.
“I’ll keep this up for as long as it takes babe. Do you really wanna do that to yourself? I’ll make you come right now if you want. All you have to do is admit that I’m just as good a dom(me) as you are.”
“God, (y/n), you’re so good, so hot, fucking perfect. So much better. Fuck, you’re so good at this and I love it now PLEASE make me come PLEASE god...”
You’ve heard what you need to hear. You stroke Jared’s cock quickly, no real skill needed when he’s this turned on, and he comes all over his stomach in near-record time.
You’re snuggling after he’s cleaned himself up. You plant a small kiss on his cheek and settle your head on his chest
[[contented silence]]
“I told you so.”
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fly-like-a-grayson · 7 years ago
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Jared Kleinman headcannons (Clothes Shopping)
A/N: I'm not sure these fit the request -You dragged him to the mall at like 8 am because you didn’t want to be surrounded by people - He was not happy about it and you let you know that - “You’re honestly the most annoying person ever” - “Shhh, Jar., you know you love me. If you didn’t, you would have jumped out the window.” - “I still might” - When you actually go to the mall, he insisted you get a milkshake to apologise for bringing him so early - When you were sitting down, you explained why you brought him there - “We’re seniors now! We gotta look stylish and shit. We rule the school, we gotta look like we do at least.” - “We don’t rule over anything, but I’ll indulge” - You first took a stop at Forever 21 which was just like stepping into a tumblr aesthetic blog - You looked around for some nice high waisted shorts as Jared trailed behind you - “But why do they have to be highwaisted?” - “I don’t wanna have a muffin top, Jared” - “But I have a muffin top everyday, we could be muffin twins. You always say my muffin top is cute” - “Because it is!” - He did the lil hug from behind thing, “Anything you do is cute.” - CUE THE INTENSE BLUSH - “Whatever, you loser”, you said using a half assed insult to mask your feelings- - You tried on a sunflowers dress and Jared said ZOOWEEMAMA which made you blush cuz you knew he meant it as a high compliment - Then y’all made your way to Hot Topic - “Maybe we’ll see Murphy here!” - “Jared don’t be an ass” - He gasped, “If I’m not an ass, then what am I?” - But at Hot Topic, he kept on wearing the accessories - “Babe, do I look good in this Louise hat?” - “Jared! Take that off! The person who put that on before you could have had lice.” - He would also put on the bras and ‘try to seduce you’ - “Hey, how about we get outta here and I’ll show you what's under this?” - Some random employee would catch him and yell, “Sir! Take that off right now!” - He’d get you kicked out by repeating that and putting on the underwear also - It was hilarious though - Then you guys left the mall and went to Kohls - Jared found a shirt he really liked with a portrait of Batman painted on Starry Night - You found a nice shirt with your Harry Potter house crest on it (EVEN IF YOU’RE HUFFLEPUFF OR RAVENCLAW BECAUSE ALL OF THE HOUSES MATTER! M’KAY? M’KAY!) - You two are comfortable with each other so you try on your shirts in the same fitting room because why not (there are places with undefined fitting rooms, fight me) - When Jared takes off his shirt first, you just give him a hug and call him a big teddy bear - “Get off me that’s gay”, he says with a blush - You guys are blushy people when you compliment each other - He does the same hug thing when you take yours off but you don’t tell him to get off - You look in the mirror and just smile at the two of you - You’re both cubby but it doesn’t bother you - It used to, but since you two started dating you were always there to pick each other's confidence up when you’re a lil down - Jared always said it just gave more of you for him to love - But he never admits to saying that, or any cute things for that matter - But then he ruins the cute moment by saying something stupid - “Wanna have sex?” - “Jared!” - cue his mischievous laughter - But then you actually put the clothes on that you came to try on - Jared wouldn't stop complimenting how good you looked in the shirt - You told him how the shirt he picked out for his personality - Jared bought both of the shirts and you two went to his house to cuddle (and make out whoops) - you didn't leave with a lot of clothes, but you still had a blast
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sincerealev · 1 month ago
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OHMG HI I love your deh fanart please feed me with some headcanons for my five bbs 😔🙏🙏
Hello!! Thank you so much, that means a lot <3 /gen
I've made some posts already with hcs of the sillies, you can find them here:
Evan hcs
Connor and Zoe hcs
Jared and Alana hcs
So, HERE'S MORE HEADCANONS THEN 😼😼
(ty to my awesome gf for helping me think of hcs cuz my mind was almost blank at the moment of writing this 😭🫶)
Connor helps Evan study for math tests, and Ev helps him with literature assignments in return <3
Evan constantly "steals" his boyf's clothes, and jokingly claims that there’s “an imaginary contract between them” that states that, the moment they started dating, Connor's clothes also became his
They enjoy watching horror movies together <33 (Connor got him more into horror movies). They'll have sleepovers a lot, and have horror movie marathons past midnight
"Hey, Ev... What if we watched [horror movie] and kissed during the scary parts? 🖤"
Their favorite horror movie to watch together is Scream (1996)
Alana and Evan are besties 🫶 Like, very close friends
Sometimes they'll have sleepovers, and Alana will tell him gossip about the school (which she's got a ton of). Even of people Evan doesn't know of, but he eats it all up 😭. But they'll also gossip about their crushes/partners,,
(before Evan and Connor started dating) Alana would sometimes give Connor advice to ask Evan out and stuff
And Zoe would give Evan advice on how to talk to and ask out Connor
Alana and Evan are library buddies, and during college they both got jobs at a Barnes And Noble
Zoe and Jared are one chaotic duo. They'll text and facetime a lot, sending each other memes, and also will plot different pranks to pull on their friends lol
All five have pets:
Evan has his golden retriever, Aspen, which I've talked about before 🫶, Connor has a white ragdoll cat, Winter, which I've also talked about... Alana has a bunny named Cocoa, Zoe has a ball python named after a Greek god (I always forget which one), and Jared has a tortoise named Sheldon (of course (also Sheldon turned out to be a girl lol) )
(more under the cut cuz this post is getting long)
Zoe and Jared will put their pets up against each other and have them race
Jared for some reason can do a near perfect Mickey Mouse impression 😭 And he likes using it all the time around his friends. For example...
Con: (after Jared said something that annoyed Connor) Kys.
Jar: [Mickey Mouse impression] Ohoh!! That wasn't very nice, pal! ☝️🐭
Zoe is also guilty of stealing clothes... She's stolen some of Jared's graphic tees, and is yet to return them 💔
The whole gang loves going to Alana's house, because the energy there is just perfect: All cozy, and feels like home. Alana's grandma is very fond of them all too <33 And will give them all delicious food and deserts when they go visit
Murphy twins headcanons!!! Zoe will sometimes read through Connor's diary, which he doesn't know...
The twins will pull pranks on each other a lot (their parents are already used to this)
One time, Connor put fake spiders in Zoe's bed while she was sleeping. That next morning wasn't very pleasant
Connor and Zoe will ALSO constantly steal from each other's closets; Lucky for them, they're very close in size
They love going to the mall together and being goofballs
On family road trips, the twins will always argue over who gets to control the music
Though they won't admit it to anyone or each other, everyone around them can tell they get along very well and love each other <3
Oh yeah... I don't remember if I've said this one before, but they also argue a lot over who was born first (they're both convinced it was themselves), but their parents have never told them because that'd just be fueling the fire more lol
Now for Evan and Zoe... They give each other music recommendations
Zoe will recommend music from Feeltwood Mac or TV Girl, and Evan will recommend Radiohead songs
Zoe treats Evan as if he was her own brother (where Zoe is the older sibling, obviously 🙄 (Evan is literally older))
Zoe will never grasp the concept of Evan and Connor being together. How can such a nice and polite guy like Evan be with such a mean old ogre like.. her BROTHER?? 😞
Since Evan is close with Alana, Zoe’s gayass will ask certain questions,, such as, “What’s Alana’s favorite candy?”
Jared and Evan hcs: Jared honestly considers himself to be part of Evan's family. They have a cousin type of relationship, and Jared honestly looks up to him (He’d never admit that)
They play video games at Jared’s house, and one of their favorite games to play is Cuphead (you know who is who. Evan's also VERY bad at that game, but he still enjoys playing)
There will be moments where they both geek out over something they both enjoy, like a new comic book series releasing or something
Evan will always be the first person Jared goes to for advice
From when they were younger, Jared had stolen multiple of Evan’s toys and to this day is YET to return them (they both forgot, obviously)
And finally, some more Treebros hcs to finish off:
Evan is often Connor’s “muse”, when he draws or paints (he's got MULTIPLE drawings of Evan, and when Connor shows them to him he gets very shy <3 But Evan is always VERY impressed)
Sometimes they go on late night drives and will park in empty parking lots,, and then kiss <3
Connor has convinced Evan to try shotgunning with him, and it was definitely an experience 🦋
Evan is obsessed with doing his boyfriend’s hair and styling it, he'll do ponytails or even braids
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Jared’s Bar Mitzvah
No one requested this but I thought this would be really funny.
-His parents would get so excited they would spend SO MUCH MONEY FOR THEIR LITTLE BOY
-They would make him start Hebrew school really early, like maybe 10 years old. They wanted everything to be PERFECT
-basically the whole time would be just him flirting with random girls instead of paying attention
-His parents rent out this giant hotel ballroom. It's filled with flowers and doilies at all the tables and balloons and a sign that reads "Congrats on becoming a man!"
-The whole thing is so damn cringy
-Jared messes up on his Hebrew SO MUCH
-LIKE EVERYTHING IS WRONG  AND SOUNDS AWFUL LIKE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT STILL CAN TELL IT'S WRONG
-When the ceremony is over, he'd go straight to the dance floor and dance to like Party Rock Anthem or some shit like that
-Jared would choose all the music so ofc it would be incredibly awful and memey
-like All Star would def be played at least two times
-His parents would let him drink 1 (O N E) glass of champagne or something not too strong, but he sneaks more and ends up tipsy as hell
-like he is just casually drunk at his own bar mitzvah
-keep in mind that bar mizvahs are when you are 13 years old
-he'd definitely end up kissing some random person by the end of the night without them asking, and I can just imagine them throwing a drink in his face or something omg
-on the way home, he'd go out the little sun-roof thing in the car and scream "BEST. NIGHT. EVER." and then pass out on the couch the second he gets home
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astrochemstry · 3 years ago
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Jared Kleinman HC: having a crush on him, you don't wanna admit it but everyone knows
I was lying in bed and then i got this idea and it sounded really cute so i made it a reality asjdfbasjh im having a brainrot
Reader is gender neutral and its romance
OK SO JUST IMAGINE
YOU LIKE THIS GUY
YOU DON'T WANNA ADMIT IT BCS HES COCKY AS HELL
BUT EVERYONE KNOWS
E VE RYO NE KNO W S
YES EVEN HIM
OK lets go to the start so
SO I HAVENT FINISHED THE BOOK AND STUFF BUT
I DO THINK JARED WENT TO SCOUT CAMP AS A KID TOO
SO you met there
And as in met
He accidentally uh
Well yk those log things you gotta walk on??
He slipped and accidentally bumped into you
And you fell on the mud lmao
Bro was trying vv hard not to laugh actually
“Kleinman, apologize to (Name).”
“Sorry.”
hE AINT GOOD AT THIS FORGIVE HIM PLS
Ok so like youre still mad but
Throughout your time there he makes it up with
aCTS OF SERVice
sO some hcs here are from @/bemorecronch pls check them out vv good at writing jared and hilarious as hell
So one of their hcs is that if he likes u he randomly gives u food
oH diD I NOT MENTioN??
THIS GUY LIKES YOU TOO
So like one time you dropped your snack and like vv frustrated bcs you fell in mud and now your snack fell in mud
So he goes up to you and shoves his spare sandwich onto you
Youre like ???? but then he jsut raises and eyebrow
“Don’t you know how to eat or did that dirt change everything in you??”
You choose whether you smacked him or not
But like after that and everything, he sat with you and just ate with ya
Then the crushing started
SO YEARS PASS
WELCOME TO HIGHSCHOOL OR WHATEVER TOOK PLACE IN DEH
yOU MEET AGAIN
“Arent you that mud person from camp??” “Arent you that asshole who shoved me??”
Sassy conversations
Murphy siblings live for it tbh
They love you
And then heres the thiNG
SO ONE TIME AT THE CAFETERIA
You guys just sat together and ate bcs i mean thats what you did at camp too
You guys we’re vv close and be reminded you have a crush on him
So liKE your body started to heat up and ik for some skin colors it wont be visible youre blushiNG BUT SINCE YOURE SO CLOSE HE CAN FEEL THE HEAT
Hes concerned bro “are you okay??”
“Yes im fine- just-” tHEN HE PLACES HIS HAND ON YOUR FOREHEAD
TO CHECK YK
Totally not an excuse to touch you
coIUGHGHcouG HH
So like you just froze?? Bcs oH SHIT ohIUSHAHH????
Alana was there and you were like oh thank god
But alana
aLANA KNOWS
ALANA SEES IT
But dw she doesnt like say it out and tease you
Takes you away and stuff “Oh god! (Name) are you okay? Lets go to the nurse.”
She doesnt take you to the nurse lmao
“So, you like someone?”
React how you want she aint gonna fall for you denying it
anYWAYS SHE DOES KEEP IT A SECRET
But like its you who, well, makes it less of a secret lmao
Like youre very expressive abt it
Everyone knows
The school knows
And you guessed it!
JARED KNOWS
Bro is happy as hell you like him back but don't forget hes a little shit
Teases you tbh
Like if youre sitting down and reading or smth hes just like “oh whats that??” and gets vERY CLOSE
From acts of service to physical toUCH
If you like passed a test or something he just awkwardly goes up to you and pats your back
“Good job” “uh thanks”
Hes silently crying inside bcs of that
Ok but like one day lets say Alana encourages you to confess
So you do and like when you see Jared youre just
Oh shit oh fuck oh no nope nO
But like he sees you and he just goes to you like “whats up??”
Its just casual
Too casual
So you didnt wanna confess in like a crowded hall lol so you tell him to meet you at some place like uh idk you choose
So Jared
Aint dumb ok
An asshole but this shit is fucking smart
And first thing he thinks is ‘theyre gonna confess. Definitely.’
No doubts bcs he knows u like him lmao
So you meet
And bro got a huge smirk on his face
“Soo- what did you want to talk about?”
Hes just so calm?? And casual? That youre freaked out and suspicious bcs you expect him to spit out some mean things and stuff
“Uh- this is- wait uh” “go on.” “weLL- uH”
Then he laughs
You guys know what im talking about
“You sound like Evan” hes wHEEZing
“LOOK i LIKE you okay???”
“Everyone does” “No i mean- the- the like like”
Bro acts like he doesnt understand
So uh yeaH you kiss hiM
Look he knows u like him but hes still shocked bcs daMN
In the end, he just goes “oh i know you do. Everyone does.” with a smiLE
Smack him smACK hiM
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readbyred · 3 years ago
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Meeting Jared at summer camp
Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen
Pairing: Jared Kleinmanx Gn!Reader
Warnings: none
A/n: this is a part of a larger fic I'm working on so I’ll keep it vague
It's like this kid has made it his mission to ruin your summer
He’s crude, rude and always acts like he’s better than you
And on top of all that he seems to always be around to make a snarky remark when you are trying to enjoy life with your friends
But the thing that annoys you the most is his bragging
He always claims that back home, he's treated like a god
He has a lot of friends that are cooler than yours and insists on having a super hot vixen girlfriend that is, just by the way, hotter than you
You wonder why here at camp he doesn't even have a half of that
Not that you think about him often! Pff, he’s just some guy you hate
Anyways
As you start to get paired up more (in order to break the obvious tension between you two) you notice he’s sort of… Alright
He makes you laugh and doesn't always seem so inattentive like he did before
Worryingly enough you started to find him interesting
He still looks down on you but his act is slipping
You two still are not friends of course!
Just two campers who have to spend time together, nothing more
But it would be a lie to claim that inviting him into your friend group hasn't crossed your mind
You doubt he would accept though
As lonely as he seems he’s equally proud
So you do nothing and let the summer go by
Only a few days before departure you were proved wrong
After a failing out with your friends, your group scattered around, not wanting to sit together
You decided to sit alone
That's when you heard someone plop down on the log by your side
“God, (Y/n) you look pathetic”
It's none other than Jared Kleinman, of course
Whether you decide to ignore him or actually dignify him with a response, he can tell something is off and stays by your side
Finally you ask him, why he did that
“I just felt bad looking at you (L/n), you were sitting here all alone”
He tries to play it off as if he was doing you a favour
But he’s not looking at you when he says that
And his voice doesn't seem so convincing
It's pretty clear he needed company as much as you did
Or more
So you smile
Maybe Jared isn't so annoying after all
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sincerely-mike-faist-blog · 7 years ago
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pls pls pls
i really want to start writing imagines and headcanons so pleaseeeeee put some requests in my ask. literally anyone in the cast (evan, jared, connor, zoe, alana) or i can do like the actors (ben, mike, will, etc...) i’ll do smut, fluff, angst, anything pls i’m just so bored and i want to write
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sinn-three-hcs · 7 years ago
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Description: “sincerely three doing the do” Warnings: NSFW//sex//cursing Word count: 561 Evan: -probably pretty vanilla but one day he really wants to try something new? -"could I um? Maybe- I'm not sure- go down on you?” -He was nervous but he wanted to make you feel good without you feeling you needed a return -He got g o o d. -As much as he did it to you, you would simply go down on him. -It was very push and shove. -You'd try something new -He would find something else to add to the night -Lingerie wasn't something he thought about but when you showed up to his room on his birthday in a new little suit he would lose it -He would gaze at you for what seemed like minutes -He didn't want to touch you he just wanted to look for ever -He loved you -He wouldn't be the type to rip that off of you. -He would want to see you in it again so he slowly put surely peeled it off with traces of kisses Jared: -Jared always talks about sex. About how good he is. But honestly hay boy is a nervous ball when you come towards him naked and quite confident -His hands love tracing your sides Shakey shakey hands -"Y/n? I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna need help. Porn only teaches you so much.” As soon as you start guiding him he gets the idea. -He's a bit scared of hurting you. -You try to jump right into kinks but that boy needs to go a bit slower then he comes off -He says he hates the daddy kink but he comes so hard when you play kitten idk -He would absolutely have a playlist -“Sexy time with y/n” was definitely be on Spotify -Had a lot of old r&b and some shit he heard in a movie that actors were fuckin too idk he tried -He loved the idea of shower sex but both of you we're clumsy -Netflix and chill yes my boy -You both decided that you would play old walking dead episodes when you guys did it to make sure you wouldn't miss anything knew -I feel like one time you guys tried doing sexy food stuff -Like whip cream and shit -But it was a lot of work and no one wanted to clean up after -Never again Connor: -he's so calm and smooth -All of sudden his hand was under your shirt gripping your waist a little tighter -Hickeys. Everywhere. Color bone behind your ear. On your stomach -One day you guys were actually playing around and he made like a legit stickfigure out of hickeys on your stomach. -As much as you'd love getting your hair pulled -he begs for it -He loves to be dom. -He probably flips positions all the time -But -He loves watching your face when you come for him -You always are under him looking him in the eye -He makes you mellttt -He's so good at going down on you -He loved it when you wear his shirt after sex -You two crash after sex -It would be so exhausting -But still good -Angry sex was popular between you two _________________ Requests open for Hc’s
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