#jane rants ahaha

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Tell me a few things you love about Wessa!

Ahhh another ask from my fav Shadowhunter blogger! Wohoo! These are the first two things that comes to my head. But there are MORE ;)

Their dark academia aesthetic

The Dark academia aesthetic of their relationship. Now while this may come across as superficial, its more then just "loving books". It's the chaise and adventure they find in books that they then live by in their real lives. How they challenge each other in a conversation and insider jokes they share tethered in the novels they consume. Let the other rant about their favourite things and celebrate novels that invite the reader into more journeys beyond just their own. And the way they talk about characters, morals and plots as experiences and people they know almost intimately. How their choice of words matters, and they are economical about their feelings. Dark over light academia bc London is a dank dark city ahaha. And they feel well deep rather than feather light.

Their timeless love

Somewhat still related to novels, but I feel like what Cassandra Clare did with Wessa was the melting pot of all our favourite literary tropes/heroines in classical literature. Which gives it a sense of timelessness and makes them feel like they are 'endgame'.

I wrote previously that Tessa is the perfect blend between Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennet. She retains Jane Eyre’s contemplativeness, slight shyness, physical features, dry sarcasm and strong sense of self-actualisation. But also Elizabeth’s wildness, snappiness, boldness, passionate love and will for happiness, all without the arrogance that came with Austen’s heroine.

Meanwhile Will's darker side reminds me of Mr. Darcy in how he pushes those he loves away. John Thornton from North and South who is set in his ways slightly stalkerish (i'm a sucker for the stalker trope sorry not sorry) Will retains the mystery of Edward Rochester, where there is more depth to him that meets the eye and heck even Tessa says at one point that his mood swings remind him of the treacherous Heathcliff. Most of all he reminds me of Alexander from The Bronze Horseman (which only came out in the 90's but technically it came out before TID and is already considered a classic). Alexander and Will overlap in how they sacrifice their love and longing for a greater peace (War and to not upset a family) all for the love of their other one. They are deeply flawed and challenge the reader on their tolerance for forgiveness .

“I love you. I’m blind for you, wild for you. Sick with you. I told you that our first night together when I asked you to marry me, I am telling you now. Everything that’s happened to us, everything, is because I crossed the street for you. I worship you. You know that through and through…” (The Bronze Horseman)

“Alexander, you broke my heart. But for carrying me on your back, for pulling my dying sled, for giving me your last bread, for the body you destroyed for me, for the son you have given me, for the twenty-nine days we lived like Red Birds of Paradise, for all our Naples sands and Napa wines, for all the days you have been my first and last breath, for Orbeli- I will forgive you. ” (The Summer Garden).

And you find you can, because their love and longing for their partner is almost holy and like a religion to them. Those we love the most, hurt us the most, but in turn, they are also those who deserve the most grace and Mercy. If not for them, then for who?

"You are not the last dream of my soul. You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth." (Clockwork Prince).

This, coupled with the stakes of their relationship then as a unite (and also separately) echos a timber that reminds me of the setting we find in 19th century Russian literature (but with an HEA tysm CC my heart can't take it). This tragic longing we see in Anna Karenina where any choice Tessa makes she looses something in the same breath. The high apocalyptic war torn feel of War and Peace alongside the feeling of doom you get right at Chapter 1 in Clockwork Angel like we did in Crime and Punishment, when Raskolnikov kills a man, and it's all downhill from there.

Conclusion

CC wrote these two with the aim that they remain true to the history of their time, but blended it in with fresh modern air for us to be able to relate to and TRULY succeed. Who knew a historical romance about two book lovers could escalate so highly in the ranks? Now while they are so high up in the ranks of GOAT-ed couples in literature, they aren't without their flaws. Mainly not bc of the narrative or the character's choices but more to do with CC's discontinuation of their story linearly past TID. But that's a different ask for another time and tbh, that's where I seek out lovely fanfictions like the ones you create in order to fill in the blind spots CC didn't fill.

Thank you for this ask! I hope this was worth the read ILY @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone♡

Artistic Credit: Cassandra Jean

[the1975attheirverybest]

Honestly could talk about Jane Austen forever but I don't want to bore people ahaha. People made fun of me in high school bc how I obsseded I was with her. Tried to get a degree in English literature bc of her tbh, too bad it had to be two languages and I'm shit at French. But I loved the English literature courses: I even did two extra course one of Canadian literature and the other on how books/stories are adapted, reinterpreted and there was a huge part on Ja e Austen of course (with Bridget Jones, Austeland and all that stuff). I like what I do now, but I also miss that specific part of my attempted degree.

Sorry for the rant.

Have you seen the film “the rewrite” and the Jane Austen professor there? That’s basically what every single Jane Austen professor is like. Mine is like THE FOREMOST expert in Jane Austen in the entire world. Like everyone cites her books about Austen and name drops her alllll the time. She’s won all the awards and everything. She’s exactly like that character. Right down to the haircut.

[choerypetal]

Oblivious - Loki x Reader

In which both the reader and Loki are touched starved for one another and express their love with eachother by affection.

Enjoy 💕

Loki wasn’t and never truly understood how humans were able to express any emotions such as falling in love with each other. Seeing his brother with Jane or any other partners he was with, turned out to be more enough of a catch to prove him that love never ends and could be turned into hatred.

Such hatred he had always and never once wanted to leave without the bit of satisfaction and a need to redo it with no remorse. That is when he met you.

Out of such blooming events, you were found with Thor in a place which both of you weren’t so pleased to be meeting. However, being with the avengers, you knew what life was keeping you and with such consequences and the purpose often made with sacrifice.

Meeting Loki however, was something quite unfortunate but with much positivity you could quite still not understand. At times to times, just by simply reading a book at the Starks tower a pair of eyes would gaze at your direction. Afraid to disturb your alone time and him not being the greatest at being subtle he sure damn well, made a fool of himself. Or so he thought.

Thinking he was adorable and to your own pleasure you couldn’t help to chuckle as he fell, as the poor cup of tea ready to be given to you fell along his side. The sound loud enough for both Steve and Thor to rush to the room you both were found, thus making Loki hide the best he could the sudden shade of pink that appeared right as he himself rushed himself out of the room.

“What happened?” Thor with worried eyes glanced at both his brother with confusion and at you. The best of you was to only laugh once more knowing it was by his best intention and knew how to owned Loki something in returned.

One night when everyone slept peacefully or as so you thought, you not being able to sleep went to the living room to grab yourself maybe if it was for the best some left overs from tonight’s dinner. Thus, leaving you to not make any damn sound, hoping you were able to do such things you were wrong.

Walking your way to the kitchen however, you could feel you weren’t the only awake. Yet the darkness whiting it’s four walls wasn’t much a help either to get a descent look of whom it could be.

“You sure is wide awake.” Jumping with fright or almost a little too panicky the plate you held into your hands slipped from it’s gripped, soon to be saved by another way too familiar pair of hands. Loki’s.

Chuckling to his amusement you simply rolled your eyes mimicked a “Ahaha, very funny.”

A moment of silence was met between you both, that is when Loki decided to speak for his behalf this early afternoon, but you decided to cut him off. After all, this poor soul was only offering you some tea.

“Stop it will you? As I clearly saw what happened I thought maybe... I could do something in returned? To forgive all this embarrassing moment.” You teased him and yet still in such darkness he was able to show a soft smile almost turning itself into a smirk, nodding at your offer.

“If it’s you who is doing everything I sure don’t mind.”

The night passed as the both of you decided to spare Loki’s room and prep a little home theatre. Not truly familiar with modern mundane technology it was quite of an enjoyment to see him in a confused state, you regularly teasing him in a friendly manner.

“How can you watch such repugnance? He clearly didn’t loved her and now they are both back with each other? What an idiot.”

You looked at him ranting his heart out, not knowing you have spaced out you were lost on your own thoughts. Questioning yourself if a man like him knew what love truly was, or was he purely oblivious by this whole aspect.

“On earth to, Y/N?” A hand waved right in front of you as you gain back to reality, had a sudden heat of flush and with your hands trying to hide the now quite present blush.

Loki grew concerned, his hand trying to catch yours to have a good look. “Should I call, Bru-?”

“No no,” Trying to readjusted yourself you smiled enough so that the blush was able to tone done as well, which only made a relieved Loki.

Glancing on the clock you realized it was getting late a yawn escaped from your mouth as both of you stretched your tired body, sure to be needed of a good rest. “I guess it’s time I should go to bed.”

And before you knew, crawling out of his bed to join yours his grip stopped you from doing so. The look on his face, became enough to tell you that he needed you. Sure he wasn’t the greatest at expressing but his facial was one of his forte.

“Stay for the night. Please?”

You knew deep inside how you felt for him, and within just these simple gesture something good was inside. Either way, you accepted with no hesitation crawled right back to the bed and snuggled into his arms.

Holding you close he gently caressed your hair, kissing the top of your forehead.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Loki.”

And for once in a life time, you were found in a place to call it ‘home’. And Loki was one of it and so was you to him.

[valwrite]

leap frog; daveed diggs

masterlist.

summary: rafael casal can’t keep a secret. (read the sequels: hopscotch, hide & seek.)

warnings: possible second hand embarrassment, fluff, mentions of murder, cursing

fic type: drabble

word count: 2366

author’s note:  ahaha, i hate myself for writing this but i also love it, gn. feedback is appreciated! oh, and if i don’t reply to a comment or something, it’s just cause i’m dumb as shit and haven’t figured out how tf to do that yet 🥰

It was official. Y/N L/N was going to murder Rafael Casal.

And, boy, would she make sure it looked like an accident.

The man was a nuisance, a mad man, a big mouthed buffoon. And the reason she now had to avoid one Daveed Diggs at all costs from here on out. Considering Rafael lived just one door down from her made this a challenge, as Daveed had a habit of treating the other man's apartment as a second home.

The trouble began two weeks prior, when, after a miserable night out, Y/N had stumbled into the building elevator, feet aching to get out of her heels and breasts desperate to be freed from their confinement. Before she'd had the chance to press her floor button, a hand slid between the closing doors and in stepped Rafael Casal. The two exchanged glances and greetings before riding up to their shared floor in a comfortable and welcomed silence. Had this exchange taken place three months before, perhaps Y/N would have felt a lot more awkward and intimidated by her attractive neighbor. However, things had changed between them ever since they'd become friends. She'd tag along on nights out with his friends (who'd seamlessly welcomed her in as one of their own) and he'd come round for dinner every time he so much as smelt her cooking from next door. The elevator had reopened and the hallway they shared came into view. That was when Rafa made the proposal she'd end up regretting: “Do you wanna come in for a few drinks?”

She'd accepted because, well, it was free alcohol. The fact that his company was anything but bad was just an added bonus. A few drinks turned into many, even some shots finding their way into the mix of things, as she and Rafa talked the night away: she shared details of the horrible blind date she'd been set up on that evening while he ranted about how insufferably boring Daveed had been, claiming the man hadn't brightened up the whole night after hearing Y/N would not be in attendance at their get-together. She was sure her cheeks had turned as red as they'd felt when Rafa made that revelation.

The real mistake came towards the end of their drinking session and, really, neither of them knew how to explain how or why they wound up locking lips. What they did know was the following: it was a meaningless kiss, both of them laughed right after and it had been the most uncomfortable kiss either of the two had shared in their adult lives. Kissing him, Y/N would later realize, wasn't the problem though. It was what the kiss had unearthed.

“Oh my god, you have the hots for Diggs?!”

In three months of friendship, Y/N had learned three fundamental things about Rafael Casal:  he preferred pancakes over waffles, friendship with him was a package deal that included Daveed Diggs and, lastly, Rafael Casal was the biggest gossip in town.

Any secret, any hook up, any scandal. You name it and it was almost a guarantee that, not only did Rafa know about it but he was the source of it all. So, having him become aware on the fact she had a massive crush on his best friend? Yeah, there was no chance in hell Y/N could ever speak to Daveed again without self-combusting in embarrassment.

Now, back to present times, where Y/N finds herself tiptoeing around her own apartment, anything capable of making noise switched off and her own breathing being the only sound in the living space. Five minutes had passed since Daveed had last knocked at her door, saying nothing but her name yet still managing to put her on edge.

The logical part of her brain told her to open the door, because the poor guy was probably just confused as to why she had suddenly started ignoring his texts and stopped hanging with him and Rafa while they watched the Warriors play. The rest of her brain told her to stay put, wait it out and, once she was sure Diggs had left the building, grab the participation trophy she'd been given back in elementary school and use it to go beat Rafael's ass.

Operation: Avoid Double D was working, much to her own surprise, and she'd even started to feel a little impressed with herself when- thud! - a noise came from her balcony. The door of it lay wide open, much like the book she'd been reading out there before Daveed had come knocking, but the curtains were drawn shut, gently moving with the breeze from outside. Like a scene from a cheesy horror movie, she approached the balcony with caution, reached out to draw the curtain aside and gasped at the sight of Daveed comfortably sat in her chair, skimming through her book- a very, very worn out copy of Emma by Jane Austen - and sipping on her iced tea.

“I... How... What...” There wasn't a coherent sentence to be found in Y/N's brain. “Why are you on my balcony?”

“Well,” Daveed snapped her book shut and discarded it on to the small table next to him, all the while smiling innocently up at her. “I knocked on the door and you didn't answer.”

“So you figured breaking and entering was the only solution?!”

“Hey, hey, there was no breaking involved. Just, y'know, entering.” He stood up, reminding her of how much taller he was. “You're the one that left your balcony door open to the world, I just took advantage of that and jumped over from Rafa's.”

Y/N couldn't help but turn her back on him to gaze over at Rafael's own balcony. A fresh batch of laundry had been sat out to dry on it and Y/N noticed how the only plant Rafa owned had now died, nothing left but a dried up mess in it's place. She then thought of the space between the two balconies and, more importantly, the space beneath them both. Granted, she wasn't living in some top floor luxury apartment but she imagined a seven story drop was nothing short of unpleasant. Yet there was Daveed, all smiles and charms, having just jumped over the space as if it were nothing but some innocent, childish game of leap frog. She both wanted to scold him for being so reckless and praise him for being so brave.

Until she remembered the fact she was supposed to be avoiding him and this, clearly, was ruining any of her attempts.

“What do you need so badly from me that it compelled you to do something as stupid as that?” It seemed to be that scolding was the option she'd chosen.

“Answers.” Oh god no. That's it, time to eBay a body bag and a fake passport.

“Answers to what exactly?” When she was a child, Y/N had always tried to play coy to avoid confrontation. It appeared to be she hadn't changed much with age.

“Do you have any of those blueberry muffins left?” Okay, that was not where she thought this conversation was going. “Rafa ran out of the batch you made him and he's too afraid to ask you for more, since you demanded payment last time, so he sent me over here to charm two muffins out of your pantry.”

“You're in luck. I made some last night.” They could have every last piece of food in her kitchen for all she cared, so long as that were the only thing Daveed wanted from her. Though, she was still contemplating manslaughter when it came to Rafa considering he'd sent over Daveed, knowing fine well why she was steering clear of the man. He was shameless in his meddling.

“So,” Daveed's voice and footsteps followed behind her into the apartment as she desperately aimed for the kitchen area. “how come you didn't answer the door earlier?”

“I was, uh,” I was trying to avoid you because I want nothing more than to bake muffins with you and have you nakedly recite poetry to me and that's an issue because we're friends and you don't even think about me that way. “Shower. I was showering.”

“You hair's not wet.”

“Never heard of a hair dryer? Jeez old man, catch up.” At this point, her hands were clammy from her own nervous sweat but she'd pulled out the tray of muffins and shoved the lot of them over to him. All she had to do was get him out of her apartment, then things would be fine. “Here you go, thanks for stopping by. See you later.”

“Wow, wow, wow! Calm down, girl!” Did he have to smile at her like that? “Why're you trying to get rid of me? I asked for two muffins, Y/N, not the whole batch.”

“Just take them, I forgot that I don't really like blueberries anyways.” If there was an Olympic sport for colossal idiots, she'd have won gold, silver and bronze.

“You didn't answer my question,” Daveed took one step forward and she took one step back, internally screaming as she felt her back bump against the counter. “why're you trying to get rid of me?”

“I'm not!”

“Okay then, why haven't you been answering my texts or calls?”

“Because I lost my phone.”

“The same phone that I saw on your coffee table?”

“You found it! My hero!” The body bag was no longer going to be used on Rafa, she was pretty sure she was one more comment away from dying of embarrassment.

“Y/N.” When had Daveed gotten so close to her? And why did he have to say her name like that? Her hand gripped on to the surface behind her and she gulped, struggling to maintain eye contact with him.

“Daveed.” She replied lamely, just begging that he'd turn around, grab the tray of muffins and leave.

“What's really up?” His words were softer and more serious, much like the look in his eyes. “You won't answer your phone, you haven't watched the recent games with us, you won't answer the door to me. I just... Look, if I done something or said something that made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I really miss you though, so does Rafa. So if there's anything I can do to fix whatever I did, just tell me. I'll do it. Anything.”

And now, ladies and gentleman, please buckle your seat-belts and get ready for take off, destination: Guilt Trip.

“No. Fuck, Daveed, no. You didn't do anything. Trust me, it's all my fault. I'm really sorry.” The words tumbled out of her quickly whilst her eyes fixated themselves with staring down at her nervous hands. “I know that Rafa told you and, just, I'm really sorry. I promise, I'm trying to get rid of them, it's why I've sort of been avoiding you. I don't want to ruin our friendship.”

“Rafa told me... what? Who are you trying to get rid of?”

“Wait,” Oh sweet hypothetical baby Jesus, had Rafael Casal not spilled the beans? Did he really not know? “he didn't tell you?”

“I'm confused.” Daveed said, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he continued to gaze down at her. “Was he supposed to tell me something? Wait, did he make a move on you or something? Cause I'll put him in his place if I have to.”

“Technically we made a move on each other.” The words flew out of her before she could stop it and she noticed immediately how his face contorted into a frown. “Not in that way! It was just a drunk kiss that we both regretted.”

“And he was supposed to tell me about it?”

“Huh? No! Ugh, look Daveed,” She'd already made a fool of herself enough, she may as well just round it all off with the mother of all embarrassments. Go big or go home, right? And, well, she was technically already home and with nowhere else to go. “I like you. Like, the way a bee likes honey or the way a dog likes a bone. A lot. But I get it, you don't like me and that's chill but would you please just give me the time and space to sort myself out and get over it so we can go back to being friends?”

“But I don't wanna be friends with you, Y/N.” Well done, idiot. So much for honesty being the best policy. “I mean, I don't know how I feel about being compared to honey or a bone but I do know how I feel about you. I think you're smart and beautiful, and stubborn and kind of a dork. And I really like it, you. I really like you.”

“Oh.” Oh? Oh?! Fucking oh!? That's all you can say to that. She couldn't stand living in her own head-space.

“I'm gonna ignore the fact that you and Rafa made out or whatever and just get straight to the point of asking you on a date. Tomorrow night, seven pm. Wear something easy to move around in.” Gentle fingers tilted Y/N's head up by her chin, forcing her to stare into his eyes. They were warm and welcoming, like chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven and melting with love. “Who knows, maybe by the end of the night you'll finally get a good kiss from a Bay Boy.”

“Why would Rafa kiss me at the end of our date?” At least she could still joke among the shock. “And you more or less just demanded I go on a date with you. No questions were made.”

“If demanding is what it takes,” He leaned down, his mouth hovering dangerously close to hers. “then so be it.”

Where she'd expected a kiss, she found nothing but empty space and the sight of Daveed picking two muffins out of the tray. Wide eyed and honestly a little confused about what events had just transpired in her kitchen, she watched as he finally headed for her door, suddenly not enjoying the thought of him leaving as much as before.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He was halfway out of her apartment, grinning back at her. “Rafa did tell me, I just wanted to hear you say it yourself.”

He slammed the door shut on the sound of Y/N cursing out the very man that was Rafael Casal.

[asterrixxxx]

Ok so I just finished season 1 of tma and like

Damn, crazy shit man, I can fucking feel the homosexual energies emanating from Jon and Martin. Ahaha what if we were archivist in the Magnus Institute and we just got attacked by some fucking wild worm bullshit and we were both boys😳... Jk... Unless..... 😳😳

I'm legit in love with Tim's voice, it is the best thing ever, Sasha is amazing and an absolute gal and I really don't have anything to say about Elias, so far he seems chill.

I'm going to fucking murder Jane prentiss, crazy ass bitch. No I would not still love you if you were a worm, fuck you. I also want more Michael, gimme the mystery lad.

So much things happened, I'm probably gonna need to remember some things about certain statement or cases or something for future reference but I'm so fucking stupid im surprised I've had enough attention span to pay attention to whatever Jon is saying half the time.

Also I got jumpscared to hell and back in that 3rd last episode when Jon was suddenly surprised by that spider, like holy fuck don't do that to me jesus.

Ok, I think I've ranted off for long enough, might do this whenever some shit goes down that I want to talk about or when I finish a season so sorry if I'm being a annoying but I've gotten into tma and if I've gotten into it you guys are gonna hear about it

[binnieheart]

Oki so im really sad bc a boy i liked ghosted me so i gotta rant about it in my tags

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

Songs that made me cry the firs time i heard them as a baby 13 year old.

I remember listening to it, and it used to make me feel powerful. Now, i listen to it, and it feels empty, like lies. I have heard the contrary too many times. Seen the contrary too many times. Seen people over and over again endorse the contrary too many times.

Also i have grown tired of the message, “noone can love you until you love yourself.”

and lately i have been seeing “you canot love yourself, until you have been shown what love is”

and i want to believe the latter is true. i want to believe that this emptiness i feel is not the result of my own failure to appreciate myself. because appreciating myself is possible the hardest thing anyone could ask me to do. not because i dont deserve to be appreciated, tho sometimes i do doubt this, but because it is really hard to love yourself, when those are your imperfections and your insecurities and all those things you have to see everyday and you have to hear the world talk about like you should be ashamed of them. overtime, when you hear the words “fat” or “ugly” or “undesirable” its your reflection that comes to mind, and not some other image like vernon dursley or donald trump or ugly betty. its not a public or fictional image, but it’s you. which is so deeply personal, and you cannot detach yourself from it.

and the media doesnt help. do you know how many fat characters there are? you go to a con, and find all the fat people, and figure out who’ll they’ll be dressed as. personally, on like a universal level i dont particularly care about men, so i dont know what characters there are in that department, but for women. It’s Ursula. Are there are other characters? maybe. i only ever see Ursula. I was watching the show the other day, and there was a character she was fat, and she was a good friend, and kind person, and she was quiet. i saw myself. and then, yknow what? the longer the story progressed it turns out she was one of the bad guys. So hey, maybe we could stop villifying fat people, that would be nice? i looked up ‘fat cosplay’ images, and on the first page, only 4 of them were canonically fat characters, and most the images there were people making fun of fat people. the canon ones: Ursula. Hulk. Garnet (from Steven Universe). Jade? or is it Jane?- i get those 2 mixed up- (from Homstuck, end even then, HS character’s size is largely up to interpretation, which is great, but im not sure it’s canon, because the way the kids and trolls are portrayed is certainly smaller than a lot of the villains such as the black king, certain members of the felt, lord english & more), but there’s a problem there

and you look to advertisements? p much always skinny women

plus size models? maybe an AUsize 14?if you’re lucky.

plus size clothes in stores? hard to find, and inconsistant. do you know how hard it is to buy bras for example? now when i was 12 i was a 16c, now an 18c. but most stores wont carry 18 in their normal range and you have to go to plus size, and what happens when its plus size? well they start at c-cup but they make the cups waay bigger? why? because they have no idea how larger women’s bodies work.

weight loss? ahaha yeah. my depression is laughing at you.

i mean 100% my depression is the reason i am fat. the reason i gained like 20kg in 8th grade. oh also a shitty mother who threatened me into silence instead of taking my feelings about how much i hate everything seriously. thats another rant.

also on weight loss: sure i have lost 10Kg in the space of a couple months before, in fact ive done it multiple times, but then life gets tough and i start stress eating again, and it all comes back, in a similar time frame. how do i lose it? i just stop eating. i replace a meal with an ice tea or soup. something liquidy, that is mostly water. and i distract myself by playing video games. but you know what? dieting takes time and money. eating healthy takes time and money. when i was in highschool, id eat what my mother gave me. when i work over the summer, i eat a lot of bread because its really easy to make a ham and cheese sandwhich, and bread is really filling, because i often work 5 hours shifts, with an 1hr transit either way, and no break.

and you know what? and if you cant afford the time and money to make good food choices, you can do what i did- just cut food. but that requires a lot of time and personal stamina also.

and then other people exercise. (good luck getting exercise clothes if youre size 16+) and honestly, even just getting any shorts that are suitable?

and going to a gym is embarrassing (because gyms are definitely marked at people who are fit and thin / muscular)

and i think people well then say ‘just lose weight’ forget how often mental health ties into it? youre often speaking to people with depression (low motivation, low energy) and people with anxiety (discomfort, insecure, get panic attacks worrying about how people perceive them) which is super ignorant

sorry i have a lot of thoughts and feelings