#jamietarttsnorthernattitude

[altschmerzes]

Hello my friend. Do you have any of the word lock and/or boot by any chance? Perhaps in slow horses?

I SURE DOOOOO IN FACT I HAVE BOTH :)

from 'drive the wedge' (explained here)

lock

The lock on the outside of River’s bedroom door is still the only one that he has seen get any use in any part of the manor that he’s been allowed into. There’s a part of him that snarls up into a pissed-off animal ready to fight and scratch and claw at being caged every time he sees it. And then there’s the other part of him, the part that fears more than anything the day when that lock might be removed — when Frank might deem him obedient enough, housebroken enough to for it to no longer be necessary.

boot

The Park won’t let them talk to her, anyway, which is infuriating. It’s apparently beyond the jurisdiction of Slough House, which is bullshit because River is the jurisdiction of Slough House and she is the last person who had any contact with him before he was dragged off and thrown in the boot of some poor hapless bastard’s car. Some poor hapless bastard who is now dead, thanks to Patrice and an abysmal case of wrong place, wrong time.

[sighonaraa]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 and extras for dealer’s choice

NOW THAT YOU HAVE FINISHED THE BEAR (first two seasons) I CAN AT LONG LAST BOMBARD YOU WITH BEAR FIC SNIPPETS. my evil plan comes to fruition.......................

here's a bit from the upcoming chapter 3 of things are different since you've been here last! cw: suicide refs/mentions in the part below the cut

He sets the cigarettes on the floor, against the baseboard where she won’t step on them if she forgets to look for them later, and offers the door one last lingering glance before fleeing downstairs. He’s still wearing his shoes, and his shirt is an old white tee, stained in places and worn with age along the stitching, and when he assesses himself in the hallway mirror his curls are a mess and the circles beneath his eyes look more like bruises, but none of it’s any worse than he’s been all week. No need for a shower, or a quick stop at home. He can take the train straight to The Bear from here and be there before lunch is over. Still, there’s this—knot, this tight fist, that clenches in his throat and makes it difficult to tear his heart away from the hall upstairs, those doors in a row and the silence behind each of them except for the one he wishes was completely fucking silent.

He remembers Ma telling him on the sidewalk outside that if he spilled any of this to Sugar, she’d take Dad’s gun and shoot herself in the head with it, and he can’t help but imagine it for a moment. Will he return home tonight and find her splayed on the floor, face an open wound? His fault, just like Mikey. Gravestones lined along the brim of his heart, scars silvered like ghosts across the pale of his flesh. How many people is he gonna kill? How many people are gonna kill themselves for knowing him? He meets his eyes in the mirror again, the swimming blue of them. They always seem about two seconds from spilling over with tears. He hates it; has hated it forever, ever since he was small and knew beyond any doubt that the worst thing in the world would be for anyone to see how sad he was.

[thirteenemeraldcats]

Roses for use whenever!

*kicks WIP pile under the bed* DON'T LOOK AT ME.

I haven't had access to any of my WIPs for over a week, so, what's a dumb-dumb to do? Start more!

Jamie whimpers again, the sound muffled from where his face is pressed tight against Roy’s abdomen, as the bus rocks slightly beneath them. Kenneth has been careful since Jamie first went down, cautiously easing the coach to a gentle brake rather than the somewhat haphazard way he usually approaches deceleration, but Kenneth's efforts and his Coaches’ careful hands still aren’t enough to protect Jamie right now. His player’s obvious distress raises a frantic sense of helplessness in Roy, and he has to tear his eyes away from the walnut-mist head he’s cradling in his lap. Instead he stares straight ahead, studying the uncharacteristically subdued Greyhounds scattered in front of him. Between their unfamiliar silence and the eerie glow of fluorescent red lights filtering in through the front window, cast from the traffic light that’s ceased their steady progress home, Roy doesn’t find the reassurance he was looking for. As that violent red glow changes to a vivid green and the bus again resumes it’s forward motion, Jamie doesn’t make any more noise. Roy wishes he could delude himself into thinking that means he isn’t in pain but his eyes have caught on the shaking of Jamie’s bloodless fingers where they’re curled into a claw, desperately digging into the meat of his side.  Jamie’s still hurting. Jamie’s trying to be quiet.

[jamiesfootball]

🥀 and 🍎 (fuck me up)

favorite angst quote from a published work

Roy dragged his bum knee up the stairs, counting every aggravated step. He wondered if maybe he wasn't Sisyphus but the goddamn boulder that kept pushing everyone down the hill.

🍎 favorite angst quote from a wip

"I, um, had sex in Amsterdam when I was younger. Like really younger." Keeley's brow furrowed. That cold, sickly feeling that hadn't left her side since Brazil, it was churning now, threatening to become a storm. Roy braced for impact. "And it was my first time having sex," Jamie paused to taste the words on his mouth. He looked confused, like this was the first time he'd ever heard them. "It was my fourteenth birthday."

[babytarttdoodoo]

“Jamie walked home alone.”

Leave the first sentence of a fic in my askbox and I will write the next five.

The immediate sadness this prompt brought on :(

---

Jamie walked home alone. It wasn't the first time.

His dad had disappeared from the cluster of parents on the side-lines at some point during the second half, driven off by either the rain or Jamie's failed tackle on the sodden pitch. Not that it mattered - he wouldn't have let him sit in the car dripping with mud anyway.

Jamie pulled his trackie jacket tighter around himself as the wind picked up, sending another hail of water right into his face.

If he hurried, he could shower before his mum got home.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

🐑 Roy Kent & Phoebe, Roy Kent & West London U9 Girls Football Team, Roy Kent Needs a Hug, Humor

🐑 send me a fake set of fic tags, and I’ll try to come up with a summary for it!

It's Phoebe's birthday. What Phoebe wants for her birthday, Phoebe will get for her birthday. And what she wants for her birthday is to bring her whole football team to Nelson Road to run around with the Greyhounds for the whole day. Roy feels a headache coming on.

Fake fic ask game

[set-phasers-to-whump]

Awww happy birthday!

ahh thank you so much!!!!

[whumptober]

Completionists of 2024 - 3/4

@ahmoseinarus | Ahmose_Inarus on AO3

@jamietarttsnorthernattitude | Cartwrong on AO3

@whumpdoyoumean

@mischamouse | Worried_Mouse on AO3

Eve | @e-v-e-l-l-e

Drunk Breadstick | @drunkbreadstick Masterlist | Drunk_Breadstick on AO3

Moni | @minu-moni | Advogada_do_huaisang on AO3

@crimsonlyinglilly | CrimsonLyingLilly on AO3

Taxi | @taxi-cab-to-slowtown | TaxiCabToOwTown on AO3 | BlueSky

@galaxymagitech | GalaxyOwl13 on AO3

JRourke | JRourke on AO3

Sevenlemen | @sevenlemen | sevenlemen on AO3

Kat/Server | @amood | ServerNotFound on AO3

@andthentheybow | andthentheybow on AO3

Kyanako | @kyanako5972

FartasticDurge | @fartasticdurge | FartasticDurge on AO3

Jaelijn | @jaelijn | jaelijn on AO3

Zaniida | Zaniida on AO3

Dashing_through_snow | @dashingsnow | Dashing_through_snow on AO3

Max | @kidzwitbugz | gardensofedenx on AO3 | Scarlettbutterfly622 on Wattpad

Orso | @perpetuallylatetothefandomparty | OrSomething23 on AO3

@machaonreads | Machaon_Wahnsinn on AO3 | Fanfiction.net

Nataliya | @natk2002 | NatK on AO3

@emerald-hobbit | Emerald_Hobbit on AO3

Jayce | @fantasyismyonlyrealescape | wrestlinginjeans on AO3

@nagisreader | nagisreader on AO3

@geelizzzie | geelizzzie on AO3

@doctordiscord123 | Doctor_Discord on AO3

Quietlyimplode | @quietlyimplode | Quietlyimplode on AO3

Val | @ifitmeanslosingyouthenno | ifitmeanslosingyou on AO3

@b0amagination

@ronilani | LaniAhava on AO3

@actress4him

@2day4u-2morrow4me | 2day4u_2morrow4me on AO3

Freckles | @sylvanfreckles | sylvanfreckles on AO3

DaFlangstLairde | @daflangstlairde-art | DaFlangstLairde on AO3

CorpseBrigadier | @corpsebrigadier | CorpseBrigadier on AO3 | NeoCities

VHS_Scientist on AO3

@astralpenguin | astralpenguin on AO3

Teddog | @teddog | Teddog on AO3

NWA Creative Completionists | Creative Completionists AO3 Collection

Phase | @set-phasers-to-whump | escapsimandsharpobjects on AO3

SciFiMedic | @scifimedic | SciFiMedic on AO3

@musewrangler | Wishfulthinking1979 on AO3

@tildeathiwillwrite

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

For the Holiday gift thing, if it's not too late, I would love to read the first chapter of your Copenhagen fic or the next chapter of False confidence 💚❤️💚😊 But! No pressure at all! I love everything you write and I considered myself very lucky that you share your writing with us!

For one of the most supportive, kindest, wonderful people on this site <3333 I hope this brings you a small percentage of the joy you spread to others

After spending the night in Copenhagen, Jamie gets on the bus with a black eye and a cheeky “Roy said to tell you he didn't hit me” Only problem is no one believes him.

@badthingshappenbingo - black eye

[fanficfanattic]

When you’re sleep deprived and talking shop with the bestie @jamietarttsnorthernattitude. 😍🔥🐶🔥😴

[sighonaraa]

Sending some roses for future use whenever you want to share something you’re working on :)

i love you and your creative rose asks so much. here's a small bit from the next chapter of the sun is only a God if you learn to starve:

“You cannot escape us, mi amigo!” shouts Dani. He always tries to pitch his voice into one of those low, sing-songy horror movie villain tones whenever they play these sorts of games, and it always fails, but it does almost always make Sam double over so hard with laughter that Dani’s able to snag the ball from him anyway. Today, though, he’s preoccupied. Only half of his mind is here. The other half is distant from itself, weeks and worlds and wounds apart. He’s not moving fast. He can sense Jamie trailing at their heels, half-heartedly following the motions so no one can take him aside and ask him if everything’s all right. Isaac had tried it, the day after. He’d squirreled Jamie off into the hallway and they’d all kept talking like they could pretend they weren’t listening and only minutes later Isaac had returned and Jamie hadn’t, and they had acted as if they hadn’t heard the sharp, knife-twist of Jamie telling Isaac that it was fine, just fuck off. I’m fine. (But beneath it: A tender, broken thing. An abandoned animal turned belly-up for love. They had acted as if they hadn’t heard that, either.) It’s Dani, not Jamie, who sneaks in and steals the ball back with a triumphant shout. Sam lets him take it, but his eyes remain on Jamie. Jamie, who had once been the most competitive of the lot. Jamie, who had once chased him from one end of the field to the other, refusing to give up until he had the ball and the goal and the warm clasp of Sam’s hand on the back of his neck. Only then would he settle, calm. That gentle, light touch, and his muscles unspooled and he relaxed into it like it was sunlight on water. Colin pounces after Dani, but Dani passes to Jamie, and Jamie— Jamie jerks away from the ball, trainers grappling at the dew-slick ground, and then freezes. “Jamie?” says Dani, tentatively. “I—” Jamie blinks. His mouth moves around a heavy silence. “I don’t—”

[thirteenemeraldcats]

So what are working on now? 👀

Can I tempt you to share with any roses 🌹 🌹🌹?

I CAN ALWAYS BE TEMPTED, I HAVE POOR SELF CONTROL!

An extended snip from the spoils of yesterday's sprints :)

Jamie’s good at following instructions. Roy tells him to jump, he jumps. Roy tells him to run suicide sprints until he pukes, he runs (he pukes). Roy tells him to stay still so Roy can tie him to a bike and use him as a mush-dog for a morning, he does.  (Roy wasn’t expecting that last one to work if he’s being honest. It was only once he’d watched Jamie wrap the rope around his own waist, then blink at him in earnest expectation while he stood frozen in bemused perplexity, did he realise the depth of the hole he’d dug.) So Roy had thought that following the simple instructions of, oh say, a recipe book, would be well within the little prick’s range of ability.  Jokes on him. “You measure the chocolate chips with your heart man.” Roy has his hand locked around Jamie’s forearm, forcefully preventing him from emptying the entire bag into the mixer. He knows that if Jamie actually wanted to break his grip he could do so with ease, so it says something about his higher-order thinking that he just pouts at Roy instead. “No, Muppet, you measure them with a fucking measuring cup. It’s right there in the name and all.”

[jamiesfootball]

Do you want more words? More words to use or save:

Team, save, Liverpool (or any other city) and/or tackle

I was very good about sticking to sentences and now I'm not. All of these are from the 5+1 sleepy Jamie pavlovian fic (yes, it still breathes)

Team

Jamie Tartt was an expert in surviving humiliation. After all, it's not the first time his dad's embarrassed him in front of his friends. It's not even the first time his dad's embarrassed him in front of his team. It's definitely not the first time his dad's embarrassed him in front of his coaches. Not even the first time he'd embarrassed him in front of Lasso. It was just the first time Jamie embarrassed himself by having a fucking cry about it in the middle of the locker room.

Save

[redacted]

Liverpool or another city Manchester

Richmond ruined him for Manchester.

tackle

Jamie's hair trickled wet onto his neck as he bent to pick up the towel he'd left on the floor. His ears felt like they were ringing, when his dad marched him back to the bathroom by the arm with a grip hard -- harder than that time he hit a rock on his bike and his arm landed on the upturned handle, harder than the time old bat's nephew through a fit at Jamie for nutmegging him and tackled him like they was playing rugby, knocking the air out of him as he stared up at the sky. Hard, like something he didn't know yet.

[lunar-years]

do you have any ted lasso blog suggestions?

I fear a lot of ted lasso bloggers are starting to move on to other things lol. However there are also still plenty of us still here :)

Here are a few wonderful blogs I know of that are still pretty ted lasso centered: @mitskijamie @jamiesfootball @jamietarttsnorthernattitude @royjamierot @abubblingcandle @fanficfanattic @tedlassosource @thetarttfuldickhead @babytarttdoodoo @goodmorninglovelies42 @itsfckingwalnutmistmate @pghumfort @thwipped if you want to see really fun brett/roy art....hmm I'm absolutely sure I'm missing people but that's who I can think of for now!

[lady-of-the-spirit]

29, 65, 78?

29. give us a spoiler for one of your stories.

Jamie and Sam have to uber Dani to the hospital 🥺

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written?

"Jealousy? Never Heard Of It" is up there, because I think it's really funny and I based it on Ben Wyatt's "pizza? never heard of it" line. obviously.

"Everyone Loves Sersi" is also up there because it summarizes both the fic plot and my own feelings so well. sweet and simple.

"my heart is a stone, my body is not my own" has to take top spot, though, because. I just love it. it's such a good lyric. it stabs me in the heart every time and it just captures the essence of the fic so well. AND it's from a musical no one ever talks about. I'm 100% sure I'm the only person who's used a song lyric from this musical as a fic title before. (I'm sure because I've checked.)

78. how do you choose where to end a chapter?

sometimes? vibes. I'm just writing and I feel it come to a natural ending. sometimes it's that but I also just want to be done with the chapter. Other times I actually know where I want to finish the chapter so it's just a matter of getting to that point. And deciding that is me deciding what suits the rest of the chapter - what's the best way for this chapter to end, both for the story (what's the best cliffhanger) and for the emotions (what makes the most sense for the rest of the chapter)?

fanfic writers ask game!

[set-phasers-to-whump]

💔? For the ask game :)

thank u for the ask!!

What prompt was the most difficult?

i think it was day 13 (familial curse). i wasn’t sure which prompt i was gonna use and then it was a bit difficult getting my ideas together and making it fit the prompt. but it didn’t turn out too terrible i don’t think!