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regenderate-fic · 2 years ago

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All I Ever Wanted (Is Here)

Fandom: Doctor Who Ships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler Characters: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler Rating: General Word Count: 7,900 Other Tags: Pete's World, Post-Journey's End, Emotional, Bed-Sharing, Love Confessions, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Developing Relationship

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Summary: After arriving back in London, Rose and the metacrisis Doctor have a lot to reckon with.

For FictionPenned in the 2022 WLDW Exchange.

NOTES: sigh. title from mitski i will.

anyway. this is a pinch hit for river in the wldw exchange. please pretend jamie wrote it i guess. i was kicking around a few different ideas for characters to write about since you said you could be sold on pretty much anything and then like three hours after i took the pinch hit i thought of this tentoorose idea that i realized might hit a lot of your prompt. the specific ones i took were intimacy, silent communication, expanding on characters/world, dealing with difficult emotions, and i was trying for some rebuilding mutual trust and growth and change but i'm not sure it hit. also was going for slice of life vibes but considering where it sits in the timeline it's more like the heel of a loaf of bread where everything's pretty different from how the rest of the bread is going to be. which like i guess that's still technically a slice but it's not really what slice of life refers to i feel like. anyway i hope you like it <3

The ride to London from Bad Wolf Bay takes more than a day. They take a bus and a train and another bus, Rose and her mum and this new Doctor: they would’ve flown, but the Doctor doesn't have any papers.

Rose spends the whole trip letting her head bump against shaking windows, the Doctor’s side brushing against her. They barely talk.

They're on the train overnight. Rose’s mum sleeps, snoring loudly in the train car. Rose doesn't. She's not sure about the Doctor: every time she tries to look at him, her gaze skitters away. She just keeps staring out at the blurry landscape, not speaking, barely moving.

The final bus pulls into London, and it's seven at night. Rose still hasn’t slept; maybe she dozed off, once or twice, but not enough to count.

“Your dad’s waiting for me,” Jackie says, her eyes fixed on Rose. “You’ll be all right?”

Rose glances at the Doctor. He's looking resolutely away, staring at a billboard advertising some law firm or another.

“Yeah,” she says. “We’ll manage.”

Jackie pulls Rose into a tight hug. “Come round soon, all right?” She steps back. Glances at the Doctor. “When you’ve had a chance to settle.”

“‘Course,” Rose says. “Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Jackie hovers for another moment. For a second, she looks at the Doctor like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t: she just says, “I’ll see you later, then,” and walks away.

Rose turns to the Doctor.

“C’mon, then,” she says, tiredly taking his hand. “You hungry? There’s a chippy on the way home.”

“Chips,” he says, his voice soft. His hand is heavy in hers, heavy and warm. “Yes.”

“Right.” Rose tugs on his arm. “Let’s go.”

Her place isn’t too far from where the bus has left them. The chippy is even closer, and she sits across from the Doctor in a booth lined with red vinyl, picking at her food. Normally, she’d love this: fish and chips are her absolute favorite, and an old tradition between her and the Doctor. But today she slumps against the wall, her eyelids drooping, and she can barely look at the man in front of her, much less hold a coherent conversation.

“Sorry,” she finally manages. “I know you didn’t want this.”

The Doctor shifts in his seat. He’s not really looking at her either: his eyes are still wandering the chippy, taking in the pictures on the walls, the other customers. “It’s not how I thought my day would end, no.”

Rose nods. She looks down at her chips, a lump rising in her throat. She swallows it back down. “We’ll have to get you paperwork,” she says. “You’ll need a name. Can probably get you a job at Torchwood, if you like.” She takes a bite of a chip, chews it slowly, swallows. “‘Course, we don’t have to deal with any of it tonight.”

“One step at a time,” the Doctor agrees.

“One step at a time.”

It’s dark by the time they leave the chippy. Rose keeps half stumbling, her exhaustion getting the best of her: after the fourth time, the Doctor asks if she’s all right, and she insists she’s fine.

They go up in the elevator to her flat, and Rose fumbles with her keys. It’s lucky she kept them with her, in all her jumps between universes. It’s lucky she didn’t know for sure which trip was going to be successful, lucky she didn’t know for sure whether the Doctor would actually want her back. If she’d been more certain on either count, she might’ve left her keys at Torchwood, and then she and this new Doctor would be completely out of luck until morning came.

“Right,” she says, stepping through the door, sliding her blue leather jacket off her shoulders. “Home sweet home.” She says it with a twist of irony. This isn’t much of a home at all: it’s tiny, for one thing, with empty white walls and barely any furniture in the living room. Just a dingy loveseat that the last tenants left, and a solitary lamp next to it. She’s aware of the Doctor behind her, looking around, and then she steps into her bedroom and stops in her tracks.

She closes her eyes and leans her head back, turning so it hits the wall with a thud. “Of course,” she mutters. She’s forgotten, in the haze of exhaustion, what she’s actually working with here. “I’ve only got a bloody twin.”

The offending bed sits, perfectly made, in the corner of the small, nearly-empty bedroom. It’s got a plain brown bedspread, and a nightstand next to it with a lamp and a book: on the other side of the room is a door leading to the closet and then Rose’s desk, which is maybe the only thing in this whole flat that looks like it gets any use. She’s got papers spread all over, charting her routes through different universes, keeping track of where she’s been and where she hasn’t been and what she’s seen. She has the urge, now, to sweep them away, hide them before the Doctor goes over and sees the full weight of her desperation to get out of this universe, but before she can, she hears the Doctor step into the room, feels his presence next to her. She opens her eyes.

“Sorry,” she says, for the second time that night. “I can— I can sleep on the floor.”

“No,” the Doctor says, right away. “Not after the day you’ve had. I’ll take the floor.”

Rose fixes him with a look. “Not after the day you’ve had. Trust me, I’ve slept on worse.” Traveling between universes, she didn’t always have a consistent place to sleep: she’s slept in the backs of cars, underneath bushes, in diner booths.

“Not when you’re this tired.” The Doctor nudges her. “It won’t be good for either of us if you’re grouchy tomorrow.”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Won’t be good if you’re grouchy tomorrow either. You’re human now, remember? Can’t get by on no sleep like you used to.” She sighs. “Suppose we can add a new bed to the list of things to see about tomorrow.” She turns to leave. There’s not much in the living room, but there’s definitely a blanket— and she’s not really short enough that the loveseat would be comfortable sleeping, but if she curls up just right—

“Rose,” the Doctor says, and she turns to face him, startled into looking him in the eye for the first time since the beach. He looks— disoriented, maybe, in a way she’s only seen a few times before. “What are you doing?”

“Just—” She waves a hand. “Sorting through my options.”

“I think—” He cuts off. “I mean, if you’d like—” He glances to his right, through the open bedroom door. “I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Rose raises her eyebrows. Even during her best moments with the Doctor, she’s not sure they could’ve both fit on a twin bed for a full night. “Doctor, there’s no room.”

“I know.” He swallows, and Rose watches his face, waiting for him to find the words he needs. “But we don’t have a ton of options. And I—” He looks down. His voice quiets. “I think I’ll sleep better if you’re there.”

Rose can’t help but feel a flutter in her stomach to hear him say it. And when she glances back at the loveseat, it’s clear she doesn’t really have a better option.

“Fine,” she says. All the energy’s gone out of her body. “It’ll do for tonight.” She pushes past him and into her bedroom, opening the door to her closet and rummaging through some drawers until she finds the sweats and T-shirt she usually wears to bed. “I haven’t got pajamas for you,” she says over her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“That’s all right,” he says, his voice quiet behind her. “I’ll sleep in my trousers.” There’s a pause, and then he adds, his tone dry, “I’ve slept in worse.”

She rolls her eyes to hear her own words parroted back. She turns to see him sitting at the end of the bed, pulling off his shoes.

“Right,” she says, holding her clothes in a bundle under her arm. “I’m desperate for a shower. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

“Me?” He shakes his head, half a smile on his lips. “Never.”

In the bathroom, Rose turns on the shower. She peels off her pink T-shirt and black trousers. They don’t feel like the same clothes she put on two days ago, to make her last hop between the dimensions: they’re changed. She’s changed. Sure, her skin is still the same as it was before, her hair the same length, her eyes the same light brown— but she is no longer the woman who launched herself from universe to universe with nothing but a dimension cannon and a gun.

She’s just Rose, exhausted, trying her best.

She doesn’t take long in the shower. She doesn’t want to leave the Doctor alone for too long— she’s responsible for him now, another person dropped in this universe. Or— she probably doesn’t have to be responsible for him. She didn’t really have much choice in the matter, after all; she would be well within her rights to walk away, to tell him he’s got to figure things out on his own.

But— she feels responsible for him. And some part of her, somewhere deep down, sort of wants to be.

He’s been responsible for her for long enough, after all. It’s about time someone turned the tables.

She washes her hair, scrubs her body. She can’t help but think she’s washing the last of her home universe off of her. She already mourns the loss. This universe is— well, she doesn’t know what it is. She’s spent most of her time here grieving. She hasn’t exactly gone out to explore. But… it’s not familiar. It doesn’t feel like home. Maybe it will, someday. But right now it feels… distant.

She steps out of the shower and dries herself off. She hates going to bed with wet hair, but she’s too tired to deal with drying it properly tonight. So she just does the best she can with her towel, and then she pulls on her sweats and her T-shirt and takes a deep breath.

This is going to work out. It has to.

Rose goes back out into her room, half-dizzy with exhaustion. The Doctor is there, sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He’s stripped down to his T-shirt, but for some reason, his socks are still on. It’s weird, seeing him here. Rose always assumed that if she got back to the Doctor, she’d stay with him in the TARDIS: there’d be no need for him to come back here, no need for him to see the blank walls and the twin bed and the nearly-empty kitchen. He wouldn’t need to see the physical evidence of how desperate she was, how single-mindedly focused she was on getting back to him.

But now he’s here, sitting right in the middle of the evidence, and Rose is kicking herself for assuming she’d never need room for a second person here. To be fair, she’s not sure anyone could’ve predicted the “Doctor gets a human clone” turn of events, but still.

The Doctor moves over towards the wall, making room for Rose. He’s turned the lamp on; she flicks the main light off and heads for the bed, gingerly sitting on the edge.

“You all right?” he asks quietly.

Rose hesitates. “I don’t know yet,” she says, her voice quiet in response. She looks at him, this new Doctor, a man who both did and didn’t exist three days ago. He has the Doctor’s face, the face she’s spent years trying to find— and his voice, that beautiful voice, and his really great hair. He’s looking at her in the same way he always has, but there’s not a chance she’s the only thing on his mind. She turns to him, pulling her legs up onto the bed, folding them in front of her. “How about you? It’s not every day you get cloned and dumped off in a parallel universe.”

There’s a long pause. His body shifts as he angles himself towards her. “I’m adjusting,” he says. He hesitates. “The thing is, Rose, I—” He shakes his head. “You know this is what I always wanted, don’t you?”

Rose stares at him, her mouth open. Her exhaustion still hovers around her, but she pushes it away, willing herself to get through this conversation. She speaks slowly, the words only coming to her as fast as they can push through the fog that’s built up over the last few days of lots of action and little sleep. “What do you mean?”

“I mean—” He sits up straighter, gesturing with his hands. “I spent so many years wishing I could be with you. Properly. And I couldn’t, because I was always just going to outlive you, wasn’t I?” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. I always sort of wanted to be a regular human.”

“But—” Rose shakes her head. “The travel? The TARDIS?”

“We can still travel,” he says. “If you want to. Might be slower, but—” He shrugs. “We’ve got time.”

Rose feels a slow smile appearing on her face. “Yeah, suppose we do.” She pauses. “But, Doctor— you really— you’re okay with giving all that up? Immortality, time travel? For me?”

“It’ll be an adjustment,” he repeats. “Not sure I’ve wrapped my head around it properly. But—” He dips his head, lowering his voice. “Yeah. I’d do anything, Rose. If it meant I could be with you.”

Rose swallows. She’s always sort of hoped, deep down, the Doctor might feel that way about her— the same way she feels about him. She never let the hope become too real, even as her feelings grew, even as his affection became clearer and clearer. She always knew the Doctor wasn’t the sort to get into a human relationship, no matter how much he liked the human. Really, the best she was hoping for, jumping across the universes, was that he’d be happy to see her.

And he was.

And he still is.

She looks at him for another long moment. Everything still feels strange. She never expected to have guests in this place, not least the Doctor; she never expected to have him with her on Earth, part of any kind of human life. She’s always assumed she’d be in his world, in the TARDIS, traveling.

“It’ll be a lot to get used to,” she says. “For both of us.” Slowly, carefully, she leans against his chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. “But I think— I think I’m looking forward to it.”

His hand makes its way around her waist, and he pulls her closer. She curls up against him, and she feels the briefest brush of his lips against her forehead.

“Me too,” he whispers, and the force of his conviction would have knocked her right over if his body weren’t supporting her so completely.

He shifts, bringing Rose with him so they’re both lying down, pressed together to avoid falling off the twin bed. Rose winds up draped over him, her head on his chest, one leg flung across both of his. He shifts, jostling her, and she reaches to turn off the lamp and winds up rolling too far and losing her balance. She almost falls off the bed, except he’s there, his arm still around her waist, catching her, holding her steady. She giggles, and once she’s started she can’t stop, delirious with confusion and relief and lack of sleep. When she looks back at him, he’s smiling, and suddenly she’s hit with a complete disbelief that she’s really here in her bed with him, with the Doctor, and he’s so tangible , and— yeah, she really needs to go to sleep. Finally, she manages to turn off the light, and she curls against the Doctor’s chest again.

She falls asleep in a matter of minutes.

She wakes up to a single heartbeat under her ear and gentle fingers brushing through her hair. She sits straight up, panic running through her: she sleeps alone. She always sleeps alone. She sleeps alone, because—

“Rose?”

Oh. Because the only person she would want to sleep near isn’t with her, except that he is, and now he’s staring up at her, frowning.

“Sorry.” She lies down, rests her head back on his chest, lets his single heartbeat thud against her ear. “Not used to waking up with anyone.”

“We used to wake up together,” he reminds her. “Every so often.” They did, back on the TARDIS— mostly because she fell asleep on his shoulder watching a film, and he would’ve rather let the universe implode around him than disturb her while she slept.

“It’s been two years, remember?” Rose pokes at his chest. The jolt of adrenaline is going away, leaving her with a lovely sort of sleepiness. She nestles closer to the Doctor, and, tentatively, his hand returns to her hair.

“Too long,” he says.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t see you hopping universes to get to me.” She means it as a joke, but when he stiffens underneath her, his hand freezing against her scalp, she knows she’s gone too far.

“I wanted to.” His voice is raw, suddenly, tinged with emotion. “Rose, you have to believe— I spent months trying to find a way through. Tried to go back on our timelines. Tried to tear another hole in the universes. Best I could do was pop up as a hologram on Bad Wolf Bay.”

“Doctor, it’s all right.” Rose props herself up on her elbow, letting herself look at him properly for the first time that morning. He looks young, somehow, the freckles on his face lit by the sun as it trickles in through the curtains. Young, even as he frowns, even as he holds back tears. “It’s all right,” Rose repeats. She reaches out to touch his forehead, running her fingertips across his skin, down his cheek. “I believe you.”

He nods. She watches him swallow, his eyes studying her face, and then he rolls to lie on his side. He reaches up, pulling her down by her waist until she’s lying down facing him, their noses almost touching.

“I missed you,” he whispers. “So much. I’m probably still missing you, in the other universe.”

“I know,” Rose whispers back. “I missed you too.” She hesitates. “Why did he— I mean, the other you— why did he send us back here? If you wanted me back that badly—”

“I think—” the Doctor pauses, gathering his thoughts. “I— he— he didn’t want to get hurt. He would’ve thought it was better to lose you now, when he knew you had a shot at happiness, when he knew he needed to figure out what to do with me , than to lose you later, after years of falling more and more in love.”

“You—” Rose closes her eyes. Her voice comes out barely a whisper. “You’re in love with me?”

The Doctor stares. “Rose,” he says, full voice. “I already said I loved you. What did you think that meant?”

“Doctor,” Rose says, laughing, “there’s a difference between loving and being in love.”

“C’mon,” the Doctor scoffs. “How much more obvious did I need to get? Rose, I took you to Woman Wept. I died for you. What did you think that was?”

“I sort of thought you would’ve done that for anyone,” Rose mumbles. Off the Doctor’s incredulous look, she adds, “ Yes , I know how I sound. But still.” She prods his side. “You're the one who couldn't even say it.”

“Yes, well, I was also facing down the next thousand years of grief, wasn't I?”

That shocks the smile off Rose’s face. “Thousands of years? Surely you wouldn't have—”

“Oh, yes, I would.” The Doctor closes his eyes. “Rose, I still miss everyone I've ever traveled with. Even if I just knew them for a few days. When I start to feel— when my—” He opens his eyes, wide and earnest. “I tried so hard,” he says. “Not to fall in love.”

Rose thinks about his other self, living out the next thousand years with his grief, picking up more people to mourn along the way. A hollow feeling settles in her stomach. “I can imagine.”

“‘Course,” the Doctor adds, “it was pretty much impossible not to fall in love with you.”

That hollow feeling is still there, but now it's accompanied by a gorgeous warmth. Rose’s face tips into a smile, and she pushes closer to the Doctor, their noses almost touching. “Oh, I'm irresistible, am I?”

She watches him break into a smile. He runs his fingers along the edge of her hair, smoothing it down, away from her face, his eyes never leaving hers. She feels every touch as heat against her skin.

“You know you are,” he says, his voice low. “Caused me no end of trouble, I'm telling you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Rose grins back at him. There’s that old spark dancing in his eyes, and for a moment she’s overcome with how much she’s missed him, how much she’s wanted to see those eyes, that smile. She’s mesmerized by him, really, especially when he’s this close to her.

He nods, just once, a sharp and decisive motion, and she laughs. For a moment, they’re both laughing, their foreheads bumping together— and then Rose sits up, holding out a hand for the Doctor to do the same.

“C’mon,” she says. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us. Lots to do.” She raises her eyebrows at his T-shirt. “First thing, we’re getting you some new clothes.”

He sits up with a heavy sigh. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“What,” Rose scoffs, “you just want to go around in the same old unwashed trousers all the time?” She shakes her head. “Sorry, Doctor. If you’re supposed to stay with me forever, you’re going to need more than one pair of underwear.”

“Well, I—” He stammers. “I’m not disputing that , I just—”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Promise we’ll find you the closest thing we can to six copies of the exact same suit.” After another moment of consideration, she adds, “But I’m also buying you at least one pair of jeans.”

He makes a face. “Never worn jeans. Not sure I’ll like them.”

“Then you’ll never wear them, and we’ll wind up giving them to a charity shop or something.” Rose bumps her shoulder against his. “But there’s a whole world of clothing opening itself up to you, if you’re willing to branch out even a little bit. You could wear casual clothes. Comfy clothes, even.”

His grimace only grows stronger. “I’m not— comfy .”

“But you could be,” Rose sings. She gets up and stretches before moving to her closet, rummaging through her own clothes until she finds a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved button down. She holds up both pieces, second-guessing, and then she shakes her head and tucks them under her arm. The Doctor always liked her before, no matter what she was wearing— surely the same will apply now.

Still. Everything feels so momentous now. Every movement feels laden with meaning. It’s not hard to believe that wearing the wrong shirt could send everything off in a completely awful direction.

Rose sighs. Right or wrong, she’s committing. She goes into the bathroom and changes her clothes, and then she looks in the mirror and realizes how much of an absolute mess her hair is. She never should’ve let herself go to bed with it wet, no matter how tired she was. She runs her hairbrush through it until it’s at least not just a mass of knots, and then she brushes her teeth, watching herself in the mirror all the while.

When she goes back into the bedroom, the Doctor is standing up, pulling on his jacket. It’s a bit rumpled, and Rose smiles to see it. He’s fussing with the buttons, but when she steps up to him and starts smoothing out the fabric on his chest with her palm, his focus snaps to her. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, and she lets her head rest on his chest, listening once again to that single heartbeat. A part of her still expects to hear the too-quick two-hearted thumping she remembers, but this Doctor’s heartbeat is slow, steady, even as it seems strange.

She chuckles to herself. She can feel the Doctor move to look down at her, and she can imagine the puzzled look on his face as he asks, “What?”

“Was just thinking,” she says, still pressed close to him, still with her head against his chest. “It’s funny that I’m listening to your normal human heartbeat and thinking it sounds weird. By all rights, your old heartbeat should’ve sounded weirder.”

He laughs, somehow managing to pull her in even closer. “We’ve still got to adjust,” he says.

“I’m not complaining,” Rose replies. She steps back and moves to her nightstand, picking up her wallet and keys and phone to drop into her pockets. She opens another drawer and pulls out a wad of cash, stuffing that, too, into her pocket. It comes from her wages: she never bothered setting up a bank account or credit card in this universe, instead opting to take cash payments and shove them into this drawer. It’s a short-term solution, but then again, she was always intending for this to be a short-term universe for her. “Right. We should probably get going. I can check the fridge, see if I’ve got anything for breakfast, but I’ll be honest, it’s not looking good.” She looks back up at him, pulling her hair back into a short ponytail with one hand. “We can stop somewhere, pick something up.”

“Sounds good to me.” He’s looking at her, watching as she goes through the motions of getting ready for the day.

“We’ll have to stop by Torchwood,” she adds, and she picks up the no-longer-functional dimension cannon in one hand. She looks the Doctor up and down. “They’ll want to know you’re here. And they’ll be able to help us get some documents so you can start living like a person and all that.” She raises her eyebrows. “Start thinking about when you want your birthday to be.”

He tilts his head to the side. “If I say next week, will you give me a party?”

“If you want a party, just say so.” Rose takes his hand. “We’ll call it a ‘welcome to the universe’ party.” She frowns. “Although we might be a bit busy, you know, with the actual welcoming you to the universe and all.”

“Got it.” He squeezes her hand. “Save the party for later.” He grins. “Suppose technically I was born a few days ago. What day was that?”

“Could check the logs on the dimension cannon,” Rose offers. “See what day it was in that universe.” She pauses, thinking. “Or we’ll just use the day we came back through.” She shrugs. “Honestly, I’ve lost track of the days. Don’t mean much when you spend half your life in other universes.”

She tugs on his hand, and together they start walking. Rose pulls on her jacket as they leave, tucking the remains of the dimension cannon into its pocket, and then they’re out on the street. As promised, Rose leads the Doctor to a little cafe where they can get breakfast— “Still haven’t got any cash, have you?” she teases him— and then they go to Canary Wharf, where this universe’s Torchwood is still alive and well.

“Right,” she says to the Doctor as they step into the bustling lobby. People are walking in every direction, through doors set in pristine white walls, and Rose joins them, leading the Doctor to the largest set of glass doors. “We’ve just got to go check in with my project manager, and then hopefully she’ll be able to help you get settled.” She fumbles with her wallet until she manages to pull out her ID card. She scans it, and the reader flashes green, and there’s a click as the door unlocks.

“That was very official of you, wasn’t it?” the Doctor asks as they step into a wide white hallway, elevators on both sides.

“Yeah, well, I work here,” Rose replies. She steps up to the elevator and scans her ID again before pressing the up button. She glances back at the Doctor, who’s giving her a goofy grin, and rolls her eyes. “Shut up. Without this job, you know I never would’ve found you, don’t you?”

“Well, then, I suppose I’m eternally grateful.”

Rose shakes her head. One of the elevator doors opens, and she makes sure she’s holding the Doctor’s hand before she tugs him inside: she still remembers vividly getting separated on New Earth, watching elevator doors close in her face before being unexpectedly disinfected and delivered on her own to a dingy basement room where Lady Cassandra laid in wait.

The Doctor leans against the elevator wall, still holding her hand as she stands in front of him.

“Do I need to be nervous?” he asks. “I think I’m rather nervous. Why am I nervous?”

“Nothing to be nervous about,” Rose promises. “Renee’s nice, really.”

“I don’t usually get nervous,” he says, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

“You’ve never been human before, have you?” Rose counters. The elevator doors open, and they step out into the hall together.

“Suppose not,” the Doctor says as they start walking. “Still. Don’t like it.”

“No one likes it.” Rose bumps her shoulder against his arm. “You’ve just got to figure out how to deal. C’mon, this way.”

She pulls him through a hallway to their right, and then she stops at a door that reads, Renee Peters: Special Projects. Rose knocks twice, and a muffled voice responds, calling out, “Come in.”

“You ready?” Rose murmurs.

“As I’ll ever be,” the Doctor replies.

Rose opens the door.

Renee Peters has known Rose for two years now. She was one of the first people Rose met at Torchwood, after she kept asking all the people she met before Renee how she could get her hands on a dimension jump. She knows everything about Rose’s mission to find the Doctor: she’s helped with most of it. So when Rose enters, holding the Doctor’s hand, Renee just leans forward, peering at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Ah. Pete said you’d brought back a friend.”

“Yeah,” Rose says. She fishes the dimension cannon out of her pocket and leaves it on Renee’s desk. “Think we’ve got to retire this.”

Renee nods. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Rose obliges, and so does the Doctor, folding himself into one of the armchairs in front of Renee’s desk.

“I’ll file a report in the next few days,” Rose says. “Once I’ve gotten things settled. The full story is— well, it’s mad, really.”

Renee raises her eyebrows. “As mad as meeting Pete Tyler’s daughter who didn’t exist a week ago and is now demanding to speak to anyone who can get her into a parallel universe?”

Rose grimaces. She was at her absolute most desperate, when she started at Torchwood, and everyone could tell. She mellowed out a little bit after a while, but those first couple weeks were awful for her, and awful by extension for everyone she thought could help her. She’s forced her way into more than a few of Torchwood’s offices and meeting rooms. “Even by my standards, it’s mad,” she says.

“Right.” Renee leans back in her chair. “So, tell me this mad story.”

Rose does. She explains meeting Donna in a pocket universe, meeting Donna’s family in the right universe, finding the Doctor, watching him get shot. The Doctor interjects here with an in-depth— possibly too in-depth— explanation of regeneration, and the rest of the story is a back-and-forth, Rose giving a detail, the Doctor expanding, Rose correcting him, the Doctor giving off an exaggerated mock offense. Renee interjects with questions, once in a while, but mostly it's the Doctor and Rose, going back and forth. The Doctor explains the metacrisis, and Rose skillfully slips over the more complicated emotional details of being back in this universe.

Finally, they're done, and Renee raises her eyebrows.

“That's going to make quite the report.”

“Tell me about it,” Rose replies.

Renee directs them to the human resources department for the Doctor’s paperwork and the medical department for various tests and scans. Rose assures the Doctor, as they leave, that he doesn't actually have to do them, but he shakes his head.

“Aren't you just dying to know what's going on in here?” he asks, gesturing dramatically at his body.

“Suppose we'll go, then,” Rose replies.

HR is expecting them. Rose and the Doctor sit in uncomfortable chairs in front of a bored-looking man who ignores the Doctor’s jokes about not being human, technically , in favor of asking for his name.

“You going to use John Smith?” Rose asks, half-teasing.

“Er—” The Doctor looks at her, then away. “I was thinking about using Noble.” He kicks at the ground. “‘Cause, you know. Technically Donna would be my closest human relation. If we’re thinking about it in those terms.”

Rose looks at him for a long moment. There’s something subdued to the way he’s sitting, the way his eyes are darting around the room, landing anywhere but on Rose. It hits her, suddenly, that just like she’s had years without him, he’s had years without her , years during which he’s formed his own bonds. “All right,” she says. “Noble.”

“John Noble,” the Doctor adds, straightening up.

“You’re sure about John?” Rose asks. “I mean, you could go with anything.”

The Doctor leans back in his chair. “Nah. John’s a classic. Why go to the effort of finding a new name when I’ve got one right here?”

“All right, then,” Rose says. “John.”

Half an hour later, they leave, with the promise that a birth certificate, photo ID, and passport will be mailed to Rose’s address. They stop by the medical department and are told to set up an appointment, which they do: the Doctor is promised extensive genetic and temporal testing, to the best of Torchwood’s ability.

“So a tiny fraction of what the TARDIS could’ve done,” the Doctor mutters as they leave, and Rose elbows him.

“Oi, don’t be rude,” she says. “These people are just working with what they’ve got, and honestly, the technology is pretty much top of the line.”

They go back and check in with Renee. Rose promises she’ll be back at work next week, and equally that she’s going to do everything she can to bring the Doctor with her, and then she and the Doctor make their way to Henrik’s, which in this universe is completely intact.

“Still hate coming here,” she mutters as they step through the doors. “But it’s got the most options, hands down.”

“Oh, is this the same shop?” the Doctor asks, looking around. “Bigger than I remember.”

“Yeah, like you were paying attention,” Rose replies. She nudges him. “C’mon, menswear is this way.”

The Doctor is, as expected, an absolute nightmare in the shop. At first he stands away from the racks, refusing to say more than two words about anything Rose holds up to him; and then, as he starts to warm up to the idea, he starts filling his arms with just about everything in the store, irrespective of size, keeping up a running monologue about each item and what it reminds him of.

Finally, Rose manages to wrangle him into a dressing room, and she sits on a bench outside, kicking her feet as he changes. It’s a far cry from the sort of thing she was doing even a week ago, desperately jumping between universes, straining her eyes to perform maintenance on the dimension cannon, coming across countless people and creatures who wanted her dead. It’s a relief, really, to be sitting outside a Henrik’s dressing room, the most pressing concern being whether or not the Doctor’s picked out any trousers that’ll actually fit over his legs.

The door bangs open, and the Doctor steps out in a pair of jeans and a striped T-shirt.

“What do you think?”

Rose looks him up and down. He looks good , actually— she never thought to imagine the Doctor in anything but his pinstriped suit, but she’s clearly been missing out. There’s something about the way the shirt outlines his chest, the way the dark-wash jeans hang, that seems to bring out something new in him. She’s surprised by how much she likes it.

He rocks back on his heels, looking down. “That bad?” Rose realizes she’s just been staring.

“No,” she says, standing, taking two steps closer so she can smooth down the collar of the shirt with her hand. “No, you look—” She looks away, more flustered than she wants to admit. “You look great.”

“Oh.” He looks down at her, and she looks back up to see the barest beginnings of a smile on his face. “Really?”

She nods. “Really.” With a smirk, she adds, “Should’ve gotten you in jeans much sooner.”

He glances back into the dressing room. “Well, there’s plenty more where these came from.”

Rose laughs. “All right, then. Let’s see what else you’ve got.”

The Doctor disappears into the dressing room again, and Rose sinks back onto the bench. Over the course of the next hour, she’s treated to a full fashion show, featuring some of the most ostentatious patterns and poorly sized garments she’s ever seen, but interspersed with pieces that have Rose staring once more at the lines of the Doctor’s body, flushing as she realizes how completely transparent she is.

Finally, they’ve enough of a selection to clothe the Doctor for at least a week and a half, and Rose peels bills from the roll in her pocket to pay for them. They leave Henrik’s with three shopping bags each.

Back at Rose’s flat, the Doctor gets in the shower, armed with his new clothes, and Rose sits on the loveseat in the living room, her head leaned back, her eyes closed. So many thoughts occupy her mind that she can’t actually think any one of them— they just float by, disappearing the second she tries to grasp one.

She kicks off her shoes and pulls her knees up to her chest. It’s been a busy few days. There’s going to be a lot to process, once she manages to sit in one place long enough.

Eventually, she hears the Doctor’s footsteps as he comes out of the bathroom. He crosses into her room— she assumes to drop his old clothes in her hamper— and then he comes out into the living room, his hair still damp, wearing the T-shirt and jeans he tried on first.

Rose reaches up and takes his hand in hers, comforted by its solidity. He drops down next to her, slinging his arm over her shoulders, and she leans into him.

“You all right?” he asks.

Rose nods against his shoulder. “You?”

“Never better.”

Rose laughs. ��To be fair, you’ve only got about four days to compare to.”

“That helps,” he admits. He draws her in closer.

“Your shirt’s soft,” Rose murmurs, her cheek against the cotton. “We chose well, at Henrik’s.”

“That we did.” He laughs, and she feels it rumble in his chest.

She lifts her head, looking at him, his eyes on her, his soft smile. There’s so much that needs saying, and Rose doesn’t know how to say it all— but she has to try. So she swallows, and she asks, “How’s this going to work, then?”

He looks back at her, his eyes frighteningly close. “How’s what?”

“I don’t know.” Rose rests her head back on his shoulder. “This. Us. In this universe.”

His shrug jostles her head, and she smiles.

“Depends,” he says. “How do you want it to work?”

Rose hesitates. “I— I don’t know yet. Is that all right?”

He squeezes her around the shoulders. “More than.”

She feels herself smiling. “How do you want it to work?”

“All I know,” he says, slowly, “is that I want to be with you. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter.” He hesitates. “Well, as long as it’s not boring. Having to wait for time to pass normally is bad enough already.”

Rose laughs. “Well, you’ve got me, at least.”

He pokes at her side. “Not going to start jumping across universes looking for the original?” It’s a joke, but there’s something real running through it, something that tells Rose exactly how much is riding on her answer.

“Nah.” She can’t pretend the thought didn’t cross her mind, during the days they spent traveling, but— “He wasn’t wrong, leaving us both here. I mean—” She knows what she wants to say, what she needs to say, but it’s all tangled up in her mind, struggling to get out. She absently reaches for the Doctor’s free hand, running her thumb along its back, feeling his rough skin, his body heat, and she speaks slowly, giving each word time to emerge. “I don’t really like not having a choice. But if he’d given me a choice, if he’d asked what I wanted, if I’d really had the time to think about it, and if I’d been choosing for myself and not for him—” She swallows. “I don’t know. I think I would’ve chosen this.”

“Really?” the Doctor asks, his voice low.

“Yeah.” Rose closes her eyes. “I don’t know. I feel—” She lets out a breath. “I feel awful for him. All alone. But— even if I went back there, I’d keep him company for maybe sixty years, and that’s if I didn’t fall into any more parallel universes. And he’d have to watch me grow old, knowing he never would. And then I’d die, and he’d be alone anyway.” She pauses. "It would've been worth it, of course, on my end. But, you know. I'm not the one who would've outlived him. So I get why he sent me here." She manages a laugh. “And what was he going to do with you? Can’t have two Doctors in the TARDIS. Two of you would’ve torn each other apart.”

The Doctor returns her laugh. “Suppose we would have.”

“So it’s better for us to be here,” Rose concludes. “Together.”

“Together,” the Doctor echoes.

They sit in silence for another moment, Rose still resting against the Doctor’s shoulder. He’s so tangible underneath her. It’s been years, since she’s been held like this, since she’s felt another body so close to hers. Years, because she was waiting for him.

“Is it—” Rose takes a breath. “Is it hard, being here? I mean— I don’t know. I’ve lived the human life before, but this is new to you, isn’t it?”

There’s a long pause before the Doctor responds. “It’s— different,” he says. “I’ve— well, technically I’ve been human before, but—”

Rose lifts her head again. “What?”

He gives her a small smile. “Long story. It’s a thing the TARDIS can do. Very different circumstances.”

“If you say so.”

“I’ll tell you later.” His smile grows, just for a moment. “I’ve got the rest of my life to tell you, haven’t I?”

Rose laughs. She rests her head on his shoulder again. “Yeah, suppose you do.”

“Anyway.” His fingers tap against her upper arm. “My point is, it’s different. This is— I suppose I’m thinking of it as an adventure. There’s loads to learn.” He turns his head slightly, and Rose feels his breath against her hair as he continues. “About this universe. About being human. About being with you.”

Rose feels her smile curling on her face. “An adventure.”

“Yeah.” For a moment, he’s silent. And then he says, “I was angry, at first.”

Rose falters. “What do you mean?”

“When he left us here,” the Doctor clarifies. “I understood why. Same brain. But that didn’t stop me from being angry.”

“Are you still?” Rose asks.

There’s another silence. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t know what I feel.” He lets out a rueful chuckle. “I’m adjusting, remember?”

Rose hums. “It’s a big adjustment.”

The Doctor squeezes her hand. “I’ll get there.”

“I want you to tell me,” Rose says. “If you’re ever feeling angry, or sad, or— anything. I don’t want you to keep it bottled up.” She pauses, considers for a moment, and then laughs. “Maybe we can find you a really good therapist.”

She can’t see his face, but she’s sure she knows the face he’s making, his nose wrinkled as if something smells bad. “Me in therapy? Can you imagine?”

“Might be good for you,” Rose says, her thumb still running across the skin of his hand. “If we could find the right person. Wouldn’t work if you had to keep secrets. Maybe Torchwood could set you up.”

“I’ll think about it.” From his tone of voice, he absolutely will not think about it, but that’s all right. Rose has years to convince him. He presses a kiss to Rose’s hair, and her smile grows.

“Are you hungry?” she asks idly. “There’s a place down the street you might like.” Her smile becomes a grin. “And then tomorrow we can try grocery shopping.”

The Doctor scoffs. “Can’t believe this is what I’ve become. Oncoming Storm, Destroyer of Worlds, now relegated to grocery shopping .”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got dramatic titles for days, and I still go grocery shopping.” Rose taps her thumb against his hand. “You’ll live.”

“That’s what you think,” he grumbles, but he gets up, bringing Rose with him. “Place down the street?”

They walk, hand in hand, to Rose’s favorite sandwich shop. Giggling, she orders for both of them, glancing at the Doctor and saying, “Just trust me.” He doesn’t argue, and they take their sandwiches to a nearby park, where they sit on a bench and watch the sun set between the buildings of London. By the time they get back to Rose’s flat, it’s completely dark out, and both Rose and the Doctor are exhausted.

“Oh, my God,” Rose says, standing in the doorway to her bedroom, staring at the unmade twin bed in the corner. “I forgot to do something about the bed.”

“We’ll be all right for another night,” the Doctor says, coming up behind her. He wraps an arm around her waist. “Don’t you think?”

Rose glances up at him, grinning. “Yeah, suppose we will. One more night.”

He changes into brand new pajamas, and she changes into the same old sweats and t-shirt, and for the second night in a row, she falls asleep with her head on his chest.

This will work out, she decides. There’s happiness to be found, in this universe— for both of them. And she’s determined to find it. (She thinks maybe it lives in the infinitesimal space between two people sharing a twin bed.)

#doctor who #my fic #fanfiction #tenrose #tentoorose #ten x rose #tentoo x rose #tenth doctor #tentoo #rose tyler #pete's world #emotional #bed sharing #non-sexual intimacy #developing relationship #long

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doccywhomst · 3 years ago

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Hey Miss Doccy! Speaking of autism monopoly- which monopoly pieces would the Doctors pick??

as someone on the autism spectrum who's extremely passionate about my chosen monopoly piece (if you guess it, you win an arbitrary doccywhomst point), I AM QUALIFIED TO ANSWER THIS!

HERE WE GO!!!

one: cowboy on horse, hands down. he'd be like "hee hee hoo hoo" and make it gallop across the board, and he'd refer to all of his houses and hotels as "stables" and "saloons"

two: he strikes me as a scottie dog fellow?? i feel like he'd be absolutely terrible at monopoly but a joy to play with. he'd lose and hold the little dog and mope around until jamie inevitably gave him a bail-out loan

three: you already know. this bitch is so obsessed with the car that he carries it around in a special little pocket, perpetually ready for someone to challenge him at monopoly. he's quite good at strategy games, but he keeps redistributing his funds to other players and "donating" enormous sums of money to the free parking pile, so he loses

four: this hoe is the boot. look at him.

that's the most raggedy-ass leather boot man ive ever seen in my life (affectionate)

five: he'd think for a really, really long time, trying to decide between the thimble, the iron, and the cannon, and i think he'd eventually go with the cannon, probably saying something like "the best defense is an excellent offense, turlough!" before immediately and decisively losing

six: special edition cat.

i rest my case.

seven: for some reason, i think he'd choose the iron. i'm probably getting a bit psychoanalytical, but he'd pick it because it seems like a fairly innocuous and innocent piece - it's traditionally domestic, feminine, and unassuming. but irons are so fucking dangerous that it's kind of insane, which fits his personality *nervous sweating*

eight: he's a thimble. not to say that he's symbolically harmless, because he's easily one of The Scariest and most eldritch doctors ever, but he'd pick the thimble every time and spend most of the game talking in circles about the history of thimbles, who made the first thimble, why thimbles have dimples, what thimblettes are, and he'd tell sixteen different terrible jokes about thimbles. what a specimen. best character

shalka: he's so wild, i feel like he'd casually whip out a monopoly piece from the future, or like, an alien monopoly piece with tentacles n shit, and alison would just be like

war: contrary to popular belief, he'd be the wheelbarrow, or the dog. trust me on this. he radiates extreme wheelbarrow vibes and i'm not sure why, but i feel strongly about it

nine: he doesn't play monopoly. it's a game about capitalism and market manipulation, and by proxy, worker exploitation. he'd rather play with all the pieces and make a story, which is so valid-

ten: he'd be the top hat because he likes holding it on the tip of his finger like it's a little dapper gentleman. donna does the same thing with the thimble. they talk back and forth in dapper gentleman voices and wiggle their fingers until they're in hysterics

eleven: he'd have a slap fight with One over the cowboy piece until amy puts them in their get along shirt. they come to a compromise by duplicating the piece, so now there are two little cowboy horse guys galloping across the board, and they keep pretending to shoot each other. "this game ain't big enough for the two of us!" amy quits.

twelve: he joins forces with nine and refuses to play monopoly, preferring to design an increasingly complicated fantasy world for the pieces to live in, complete with maps and diagrams and magic systems and physics, and nine just sort of nods while making the plane and the cannon kiss

thirteen: she's absolutely the battleship. she slays so fucking hard at monopoly, she takes no prisoners. a menace to civilized society. you've never seen this level of chilling, merciless dedication in someone's eyes. she's dead serious about it, a total fanatic, and then she wins and it's like

end note: i want to hear how your favorite piece chalks up to this, as well as what your headcanons are! but also im right, sorry, lol

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daydreaming-of-doctor-who · 3 years ago

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hullo may I request headcanons for being in a romantic relationship with jamie?🥺 (also how do you think he would ask the reader out?)

A/N: Ah yes, our favorite Piper. Absolutely, I hope you enjoy! <3 I honestly made myself cry from what I wrote. Jamie is just such a sweetheart, thanks.

Being in a Romantic Relationship with Jamie McCrimmon:

Jamie was raised a different way, coming from 18th century Scotland. However, he would always be a gentleman and isn’t afraid to help those who need him.

If he’s attracted to you, he’s pretty good at making it obvious from the start, either by; being protective, flirting with you, or just telling you outright.

If you remain oblivious or Jamie is unsure if you feel the same way about him, he will ask the Doctor for some help in this matter.

However, once you both get past that barrier, he’s going to treat you perfectly like the gentleman that he is.

Instead of ‘dating’, he tells others that he is courting you with intentions to marry later on.

If that seems like things are moving too fast, Jamie will understand and follow your wishes.

He tries to come up with fun things for you to do when visiting another planet the Doctor has brought you to. He wants to get to know everything about you.

Jamie may even try to request the Doctor bringing you both to some exciting place for a date.

Thoughts of introducing you to his time and family may come to his mind from time to time. It’s not that he wants to leave the TARDIS, but he wants to his family to meet the person he has fallen in love with and plans to spend the rest of his life with! 😭

Zoe and Victoria (and the Doc from time to time) looking to you to help control Jamie or calm him down.

IF you both eventually decide to get married: it’s a beautiful scene in the TARDIS, with the Doctor marrying you both off. ❤️

Jamie didn’t expect to be traveling with the Doctor forever, but when the time comes and the Time Lords start to send everyone back to their proper times, he pleads with them to not be separated from you. To at least be able to remember each other, even if you won’t remember Zoe, the Doctor, or your adventures with them.

However, the Time Lords say there is nothing that can be done, sending you all away.

Returned back to your own times and places with no recollection of what happened, one thing crosses Jamie’s mind: the smile of someone. He can tell they are important to him from the swell of his heart. But how can he know of someone he’s never met?

Either way, he wants to find out. He wants to find them out there. He’s never one to give up.

#Jamie McCrimmon x reader #jamie mccrimmon #doctor who imagines #doctor who headcanons #doctor who reader insert #doctor who x reader #doctor who #Classic who

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sweetbuckybarnes · 2 years ago

Text

In Our 30s - Nine

Pairings: James Maguire + Erin Quinn

Summary: A post-series fic cantered on James and Erin. With University, Michelle and stupid decisions getting in the way of James and Erin getting together into their 30s.

Word count: 559

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Present Day

The sound of an alarm brought Erin round from her slumber, Erin pushed her leg into her husband's leg to rouse him.

James reached his hand over and turned off the alarm - then rolled over a little to wrap his arms around his wife.

"Morning Erin," James said, pressing multiple kisses to her cheek and tucking her closer to his chest.

"Morning love," Erin replied, shuffling and James watched with half-open eyes as Erin rolled over in bed and stared up at him.

They were silent as they revelled in the piece before their kids woke up.

"We better get up or else we're going to be late," James says - and this spurred them to clamber out of bed and get dressed for the day.

As Erin worked on her new novel at the kitchen table, she stopped typing as her chin rested on the palm of her hand.

"James?" She called, seeing her children quietly (for once) sitting in the kitchen eating their cereal, with little to no complaints.

"Yes, love?" he asked, looking up from the shots they had filmed on his phone yesterday.

Erin smiled at him for a second, this is the man she gets to spend the rest of her life with. "Do you still have your old video camera?" She asked. "The one you used for our 18th?"

"I'll go get it," he tells her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

James found his camera, along with the old video tapes he used.

He even found the tape he was editing in the 90s. The one he swore he would never show Erin.

"What's on this one?" She asked, taking said video tape out of his hand.

"Something I never wanted to show you in the 90s," James said, getting a raised eyebrow from his wife in return. She slowly goes to put it back in his hands, until James laughed. "Not like that!"

James goes over to their old video player, which James has clung onto thanks to his old Doctor Who tapes from the 70s.

The video was the two of them and the girls, from the 90s - along with close-ups of her in her red jacket and old school uniform.

"You were smitten with me, weren't you, love?" Erin commented, throwing her arms around her husband's shoulders smiling at the young Orla, Clare and Michelle.

"Still am," James replies, pressing multiple kisses along any skin he could find of Erin's.

The sound of fake vomit drew James and Erin's attention away from the TV. Their son, the eldest. Jamie Joe Maguire.

Erin raised her eyebrow at him, and he stopped, having always been Erin's boy (but could appreciate Doctor Who more than his ma).

"Is that you, daddy?" The small voice of Elizabeth 'Liz' Rose Maguire. The apple of James' eye. His little girl, and their youngest.

James nodded, holding his hand out for Liz and the four watched the video tape before school. They explained what everything was like in Northern Ireland in the 1990s.

It was like Granda Joe said, at Erin and Orla's 18th birthday. They never believed James and Erin, shocked to think soldiers would climb aboard the school bus every day and check for bombs.

It was like a ghost story now.

#Derry girls #derry girls fanfic #jerin #jerin fanfic #james x erin #erin x james #james maguire #erin quinn #James and Erin's two children #Jamie Joe Maguire #Elizabeth Rose Maguire

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sunmoonandeddie · 4 years ago

Text

feelings are fatal (20/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,030

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, fluffiness

masterlist

a/n: I really hope

There was something to be said about how much Bucky Barnes cared for the people in his life that he considered his friends, his family.

Hell, he’d jumped out of many, many aircrafts for Sam, even though he wouldn’t admit it was for him.

He sent his therapist flowers and a gift for her birthday, despite the fact that more than half the time, they just annoyed the shit out of each other.

The amount of times he’d pulled you out of a funk was… Well, there was a lot.

However, there was also something to be said about how overboard Bucky Barnes could go when someone he loved had gotten hurt.

Or kidnapped by a Nazi terrorist organization and almost shot in front of him.

“Alright, you’re all tucked in,” he muttered under his breath, even as he went around the bed once again, his hands carefully tucking in your comforter all over again. “There we go… Are you comfortable? Too warm? Not warm enough?”

He’d been hovering the past four days since you’d gotten out of the medbay, and the five days before that when you’d been in and out of unconsciousness.

God, the feelings that had washed over you when you’d woken up again and found that he was back and your Soldat was gone. It was so bittersweet. You loved both of them, even if it was in different ways. Different shades, different tones of love.

You just kept telling yourself that the Soldat was right.

It was time for him to rest. Your time together was over.

But that in itself meant that it was time for something new to begin.

If only you could find a way to tell Bucky how you truly felt.

You watched him with your eyelids half closed, a drowsiness slurring your words as you laid there. “Jamie… Can you stop for a moment?” You don’t even think about how your words might make him feel, how they might sound.

“Oh… Right. Sorry if I’m annoying you,” he said, his voice dropping to where it was almost inaudible. He started to head for the door, having set down the water bottle in his hands.

“What?! No!” You said, quickly sitting up. You still felt like absolute shit, but you couldn’t let him leave. “I’m sorry. That’s not the words I wanted to come out. I… I just want you to relax for a moment. I’m okay.” Pulling your arm out of the warmth of your blankets, you patted the spot next to you. “Can we just… lay down and watch a movie for a bit?”

Bucky’s baby blues softened immediately, and he nodded, toeing off his sneakers. “Of course. I’m sorry… I’ve been…”

“Helicopter parenting?”

His cheeks flamed fire engine red as he slipped into the bed beside you, hesitating before pulling the blankets over him. “I don’t know if I like the parenting aspect of that,” he muttered, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. “FRI, can you turn on a movie?”

“Legally Blonde,” you added without a second thought, grinning at the confused look that painted his face. “Have you never seen Legally Blonde?”

“What? No? What the fuck is a Legally Blonde?” He asked. And, okay, yeah, he could gather from the context that it was a movie, most likely a girly one based on the title, but he loved the way you looked so aghast and the way you laughed at his old man tendencies.

“Only the greatest early 2000s chick flick of all time!” You squealed, playfully smacking his chest.

A wave of contentment, of happiness, washed over you as you laid half on his chest to watch the movie. His fingers were absentmindedly running up and down your spine, his breath tickling your forehead.

And it hit you that you could have this for the rest of your life. You could have this happiness, this peace, for the rest of your life with the man that was holding you.

Once again, you just needed to figure out how to tell him how you felt.

“Wait… So he broke up with her because she wasn’t… serious enough?” Bucky asked, his brows furrowed. “Or because she was too pretty and girly?”

“Both,” you said, glancing up at his face. “He sucks.”

“Yeah, he fucking does.”

When the movie ended, you sat up, risking a glance at Bucky’s face. “Well? What did you think?”

He couldn’t help but shake his head, groaning dramatically. “If Sam finds out that I’m a fan of early 2000s chick flicks, he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

Oh, this was good. So, so good.

“Jamie, I’ve watched Legally Blonde and other chick flicks with Sam. He loves them,” you revealed, watching the way his eyes lit up.

“There’s more?!”

You took it upon yourself to show him the best of the late 90s and early 2000s, finding that when he was distracted with tales of cheesy romance and girl power triumphing, he wasn’t so worried about your health.

But he did have a few problems with Clueless. “Let me get this straight,” he said with a scowl as he held you close in between his legs. “She’s… still in high school. Sixteen, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And he was her step-brother?”

“Yes.”

“And… he is still treated like her step-brother by her father?”

“Yeah.”

He blinked owlishly at the television that hung up on your wall, his mouth hanging open in an astonished ‘o.’ “And people just…”

“Decide to ignore that bit? Yup,” you supplied, turning your head to look up at him.

He frowned, tightening his hold around you. “I really don’t know how to feel about that. It’s a good movie. But…” His head then slightly cocked to the side. “Her step-brother looks like that one guy that helped us at the fight in Germany… You know, the one at the airport?”

“You don’t even remember Scott’s name?!” You asked, snorting. “You really are an old man.”

His fingers flew to your sides, tickling you mercilessly. “Yeah?! And what about it?! Huh? Huh?” When he finally stopped and your laughter had died out, he hid his face in the crook of your neck and took in a deep breath. “I missed you… when you were gone… Sometimes I forget just how integral you are to my life, but that… Being without you reminded me of how desolate my days were when we were separated before.”

Heart clenching, you squeezed his flesh arm with both of yours, resolving yourself to not move the rest of the day. You’d quickly come to the conclusion that cuddling with James Barnes could be considered one of the great pleasures in life. “Well, we’ll never have to be apart again,” you murmured, closing your eyes. “What if… What if we took some time away? And we went on a little… vacation or something?”

“A vacation?” He said, and you could feel his heart rate speed up underneath your head. A vibranium hand smoothed over your hair. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know…,” you admitted with a snort, shaking your head. “Just… away. Give us time to relax and really… I don’t know. Process?” Your eyes fluttered shut at his soothing touch. “Maybe we could go up to the cabin for a few days… maybe a week…”

“Yeah? You wanna stay a whole week with just me for company?” He asked playfully, even though he felt like his spirit was soaring.

Biting your lip, you pulled your knees up to your chest until your entire body was pressed against his chest. “Could spend my whole life with just you for company, Jamie.”

He’d understand, right? He’d understand that you meant ‘I love you.’ He’d understand the words that you were trying to say but were too nervous to get out, that your throat closed up and your eyes burned because the last person you said those words to in that way had demolished your heart, your soul?

But then again, he’d been the one to teach you what those words meant in the first place. Well, the Soldat had.

Bucky’s entire face was pink, all the way to the tips of his ears, and he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Me, too, malen’kaya.”

You reached up to run your fingers through his hair. It had grown out since his last haircut, and it was getting to be about ear length. “You know who you look like right now kinda?” You asked, an impish smile on your lips.

“Who?” He was clearly already anticipating the worst, even though he was letting his head tip forward to let you continue playing with his hair.

“Prince Kit or whatever his name is.” You were preening as your foreheads pressed together, his breathing even as you massaged his scalp. “From the new live action Cinderella.”

You can hear the smile, even though you can’t see his face. “You think I look like a prince?”

“Don’t get cocky on me now,” you shot back. But, in truth… You liked this side of Bucky. You had caught little glimpses of it when you were on the run with Steve, Sam, and Natasha. But this felt like the real him, and you loved it.

And as far as you were concerned, he could be as cocky as he wanted to be.

“Let me check with your doctors and get their opinion on when they think you’ll be okay to travel,” he said, his lips pressing to your hair. “And then I’ll talk to Pepper about letting us steal the cabin for a bit…”

A huff escapes your lips as you tug on his hair in retaliation. “Do you really think Pepper isn’t gonna let us stay there for a bit?”

You missed the way his breathing had hitched and his heart had skipped a beat, and he nuzzled into your hair to hide himself even more. “No, but it’s still nice to ask, you heathen.”

“Soldat, where are we going?” You asked curiously as you were led out of your ballet class, your hair still pulled back into a tight bun. “What’s going on?”

“No time to talk. We have a mission,” he said sternly, his voice deep and gravelly.

A mission?

You’d never been on a mission.

“Wait, are we leaving the Red Room?” You asked, glancing at the handlers that flanked the both of you. “Where are we going?”

“Do you understand the phrase ‘no time to talk?’” The Soldat asked with a snort, shooting you a glare.

Something was off.

The Soldat and you had been training together for over two years now, almost three, and you’d never gone on a mission.

Also, he never spoke so harshly unless there was something wrong or there were others present, and the handlers around you weren’t important enough for him to put up the mean teacher facade. No, there was something else going on.

Two hulking doors were waiting at the end of the hallway, leading to the outside world. Snow was swirling outside, frost painting the windows.

And you were still in just your leotard and tights. Fuck.

Of course, they weren’t gonna give you time to change.

You hadn’t even been outside of the Red Room since you were a toddler. Hell, you didn’t even own any cold weather clothes.

The doors opened, and you let out a sharp gasp as the icy cold wind hit you. In your peripheral, you could see the Soldat look at you and immediately move to take off his jacket, before remembering who was around and stopping himself.

It was a nice thought, knowing that if he could, he’d warm you.

Maybe you could daydream about him scooping you up, holding you in his lap… He’d run his fingers over your hair, his other hand smoothing up and down your back. That deep, gravelly voice you loved so much would murmur sweet things to you, his lips tickling your ear…

God, your little crush was getting out of hand.

Snow covered your hair as you were led out to a van that was waiting for you, smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe as the headlights shone through the dense white landscape. One of the handlers shoved your head down as you were pushed into the back seat, the Soldat following right after. A thich, kevlar covered thigh pressed against yours as you settled in. Pretending to not be cold was becoming a lot harder than you thought it would be.

“So… What exactly are we doing?” You asked tentatively after about ten minutes of terse silence.

“You’re our bait,” one of the men said simply, cocking his gun.

Ice cold water ran down your spine as you blinked at him. “Bait? What… What do you mean?” You could feel the Soldat’s thigh tense beside you, and you realized that he had known.

That’s why he’d been so cold, even beyond the fact that there were others present.

“It means you’re going to be bait,” another man said with an eye roll.

“Well, I mean… When you say bait, do you mean like bait that can be reused so you keep it alive or bait like a worm that ends up dead on a hook?” You said, your arms crossed over your chest. Being sarcastic probably wasn’t the best thing you could do at the moment, but whatever. If you were gonna die, you might as well die with a few good one-liners.

Beside you, the Soldat’s chest jolted, his lips pressed together as though he was trying to stifle a laugh.

See, you knew he’d get your humor immediately.

“Guess we’ll just have to see how well you behave,” the first man snapped, his voice threatening.

When you finally arrived at your location, it was several hours later, and you’d passed out, your head lolling back against the seat. You jolted awake when the van stopped, realizing that the sun had set. “Where are we?”

No answer.

“Great talk.” One of the handlers yanks you out of the van, pulling you over the Soldat’s lap and almost dislocating your shoulder in the process. “Fuck! You didn’t have to manhandle me, you asshole!” You’re not shocked when his hand meets your cheek, though you do have to take a moment to take a breath. “Can you just tell me what I have to do so I can do it and we can leave?”

The mission is simple enough, at least on your end. Apparently, there were a few vigilantes running around that Hydra needed gone.

And what vigilante doesn’t love a young damsel in distress?

It’s over before you realize, and you’re hit with a deep realization.

You had wanted the vigilantes to win, just for a second or two. You had wanted them to win and maybe you’d get to go somewhere where you weren’t almost killed everyday, where you were handcuffed to your bed each night, and where most meals consisted of protein shakes.

But only if it meant the Soldat could be rescued with you.

“We’re not going back tonight?” You asked in surprise when the van pulled up to a seedy motel.

“No,” one of the men said with an eye roll. “Don’t feel like driving.”

You were left alone in the car with the Soldat as the men went to get a room, but you didn’t mind. “Are you okay?” You asked softly, eyes flickering up to meet his.

The man grunted, his lips pressed into a thin line as he kept his face forward, watching for the men to come back. But his hand slowly moved down his thigh until you felt cool metal, and his pinky linked around yours.

It stays there until the men come back, and he lets go at the right second, as the van door is starting to open.

“Come on,” one of the men grumbled, leading you two down the length of the motel. “This is where you two will be staying,” he said as he opened up a door.

Brows furrowing, you looked up at him. “What? Alone?” They trusted you like that? You were going to be staying the night with your crush in a room alone?

“Just don’t get her pregnant. She won’t go through graduation for another few months,” another one taunted, letting out a loud, obnoxious laugh. They all looked the same, and sounded the same. Like Hydra had created a bunch of clones. “And you know what to do if she tries to escape, Soldat.”

There was a rock in the pit of your stomach as you walked into the room.

The men had left you alone with the Soldat because they thought he’d have sex with you.

They thought he’d already had sex with you, despite the fact that you were just seventeen.

And your Soldat wasn’t like that. Despite the fact that you were (admittedly) in love with him, and despite the fact that you’d heard of the other Soldats having… pleasure women, you knew that he’d never touch you.

Not like that.

That was the only thing that relaxed you as you walked into the room and the door shut behind the hulking man, a dim yellow light casting shadows all around the room.

“I’m not—”

“I know,” you said as you turned to him, cutting him off. “I know you’re not going to… do that. I trust you.”

He slowly nodded, a weak smile spreading over his lips, and it occurred to you that it was possible that no one had ever told him that they trusted him.

At least there were two beds, because you didn’t think your little heart could handle sleeping so close to him. God forbid you wake up cuddling him. You’d be absolutely mortified.

“I’m gonna grab a shower,” you said, pointing to the bathroom. You didn’t wait for a response before speeding over and shutting and locking the door. Fuck. You were gonna have to sleep in your leotard since you didn’t have any other clothing with you.

The shampoo and conditioner the motel provided smelled like nothing, and the body wash and face wash were the same. Even so, you took your time lathering and scrubbing and washing, taking a shower that was longer than five minutes or so for the first time.

It had been over an hour by the time you got out, every inch of your body scrubbed and then scrubbed again. It probably wasn’t good for your hair, but you washed it twice, just because you could.

What you were most surprised by was the few suitcases that were on the bed closest to the inside wall when you got out, redressed in your leotard.

“What is this?” You asked the Soldat, who had stripped out of his leather and kevlar and was just wearing his cargo pants and a white shirt.

“You didn’t have clothes,” he said bluntly, glancing over at you as he sharpened his knife on the cheap chair.

“Where did you get these?”

“Lost and found. I just grabbed a few in case one didn’t have what you needed.”

Sometimes you forgot just how caring he could be in little ways.

“Thank you,” you said with a grateful smile as you moved to dig through them, eventually moving to the bathroom to change into a fresh pair of underwear and a huge t-shirt and shorts. “How do I look?” You asked as you came out, striking a dramatic pose.

The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he looked up at you. “Radiant,” he said after a moment, having thought of the perfect word. “You always are.”

Why the hell did he have to say such things when you knew you couldn’t be with him? You were too young, and the likelihood of Madame B allowing you to be together was… zero.

He motioned for you to get in the bed farthest away from the window. “You need rest, malen’kaya. I will keep watch.” After watching you crawl under the blankets and cuddle up to your pillows, he moved to sit on the bed, caressing your cheek. “Sleep… I will be here when you wake…”

“Sometimes I forget just how fucking beautiful it is out here,” Bucky said with a breathy laugh as he pulled up the long drive to the Stark Cabin. The sun was glittering out on the lake, the leaves just beginning to turn shades of ruby and gold. He threw the car into park and rushed around to your side to open the door and help you out before you could even blink.

The look you gave him didn’t do much as you placed your hand in his. It had only been a few days since he’d even let you get out of bed on your own and walk around.

As much as you loved him carrying you around like a blushing bride, it became a bit much when he was carrying you to the bathroom because you had to pee.

“It feels like so long ago… last time we were here,” you said as you watched him grab your bags.

He barely let you walk, there was no way in hell he’d let you carry your own duffel bag.

“What are you feeling for dinner?” He asked as he led you inside, setting your bags on the couch for the time being. “I was thinking maybe I could whip up some of that creamy chive chicken I made the other week? You liked that, right?” Bucky seemed to have a nervous energy running through him as he moved to the kitchen and began to figure out what they had. “I’ll need to have some groceries delivered…”

“Anything’s good with me,” you said faintly as you watched him, leaning against the doorway. “I’m really glad we decided to do this… It feels nice… getting away from everything for a little bit…” Your cheeks flushed as you glanced at the ground, arms crossing over your chest. “I mean… I love our family. You know I do. But—”

“It can get loud and crowded,” he finished, a kind smile on his face. “I get it.”

There’s a light inside your chest as you move further into the kitchen, giggling as his hands immediately go to your waist and lift you up onto the counter. “I knew you would.”

Bucky glanced up from his phone, having put in the grocery order faster than you expected. His vibranium hand rested on your thigh, and he gave a gentle squeeze. “You in the mood for a drink while we wait on dinner supplies?”

“Depends, bartender. What are you making?” You asked, letting your legs kick back and forth. You had to do something to prevent yourself from wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him close.

Would he ravish you like in the dreams you sometimes occasionally but totally-not-often had?

“Baby doll, I can make whatever magic potion you want,” he said, winking. His lips found a place on your cheek, letting it linger before he left your side, his hand leaving behind a warm spot on your thigh that felt empty without it. The way he moved around the cabin, so confidently, was such a far cry from when you’d been spending a few days in the guest rooms after the final battle.

It was fucking hot.

You were barely paying attention as he listed off cocktails and various concoctions.

“Malen’kaya? You there?” He called out, though you didn’t really hear him as he said your name.

It wasn’t until a floorboard creaked under his weight that you focused back in on the present. “Huh? Just… whatever you think I’ll like. I trust you,” you said, rubbing your hands nervously on your thighs.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said as your tongue wetted your lower lip.

“Okay, if you say so,” he said as he glanced back at you with a fond smile, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “And… I agree.”

Your head tilted to the side. “Agree about what?”

“I’m really glad we decided to do this.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n

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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years ago

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New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 4

A/N Some strong reactions to the last chapter, which I admit caught me by surprise. Writing is a funny craft, where you spend a lot of time and effort trying to show your reader exactly the picture you have in your mind, but then also have to surrender to each reader’s interpretation of what you wrote. That said, some interpretations miss the mark entirely, and for that reason this chapter is entitled “False Assumptions”. Trigger warning for childhood disease.

Jamie’s weekly appointments continued through the grey slumber of late April and into the wakening month of May. Thursday became Claire’s favourite day of the week, for reasons she didn’t care to scrutinize too closely.

With regularity came a certain brand of predictability. Their appointments took one of two forms, she realized. Some days Jamie was full of life, witty and exasperating by turns. He would spin long yarns about some trivial aspect of his life, fascinating tales that turned out to be nothing more than surface reflections, revealing little of the murky depths beneath. He was also adept at using his considerable verbal charm to draw her into divulging more about herself than she ought. Those visits left her equally frustrated and challenged.

The rest of the time her patient arrived with a weary slump, the thousand watt bulb of his personality dimmed to an occasional flicker. Given his offhand comment about whisky and women, she tried not to ponder if he was hungover or suffering from the effects of an all-night hook-up. From a diagnostic point of view these days of low ebb were beneficial because Jamie was far more likely to offer some nugget of inner revelation, truth sneaking out through the cracks of his weakened defences.

“I was away on business, in Hong Kong, when my Da passed,” he said on one such afternoon, the skin below his eyes drawn tight and the copper in his hair somehow muted.

“Did it happen suddenly?”

“No’ really. Jen had been at me fer months tae come hame, sayin’ that Da was workin’ himself tae death.” Jamie looked out the window, eyes reflecting the overcast skies beyond. “I ignored her. Too wrapped up in my own grand self tae pay any heed. Twas Ian, my brother-in-law, who called tae say Da had dropped in the pasture. Massive coronary. I caught the first flight back, but he was gone before I landed.”

She watched Jamie’s face closely as he spoke, but beyond the understandable emotion of reliving the sudden loss of a parent, he remained inscrutable. The urge to draw him out overcame the deference she paid to Jamie’s well-defined boundaries.

“Do you think you’re to blame for his death?” she asked, half-expecting to be met with silence or a nimble deflection.

Jamie shook his head ruefully.

“Nah. I dinna think I’m tae blame. I ken it. I was the only surviving son, ye see? In the Highlands, tradition is everything, an’ a Fraser man had worked those lands fer generations. I was only meant tae complete my studies abroad, an’ then return tae Lallybroch and take o’er from Da. Instead, I left my sister an’ Ian tae watch o’er the farm while I played the business tycoon.”

“Is Lallybroch still in your family?” she wondered aloud, the name rolling about in her mouth like marbles.

“Jenny and Ian couldna keep it. I wasna well enough tae object, an’ they sold tae a developer. It’s some kind of corporate wellness retreat now,” he finished with a distasteful grimace.

For every disclosure Jamie made, two more questions arose in its wake, like hacking away at a many-headed Hydra. She wished she could delve further, but the chime from her computer announced the end of the session.

“Will I see you next week, Jamie?” she asked as he reluctantly rose to leave.

“Aye,” said with a sad smile. “I’ll be here.”

***

The following Tuesday, Claire took the afternoon off work to perform an errand she’d long been avoiding.

Her departure from the Royal Hospital for Children had been so precipitous, she hadn’t filed the necessary paperwork to close her employment file. The Human Resources department had been pestering her to complete the process for months. The threat of holding up the transfer of her accreditation finally forced her hand.

To her great relief, the personnel offices were nowhere near the actual wards. They lay at the end of a long white hallway broken by large windows looking into a series of meeting and activity rooms. Her plan was to get in, sign the damn forms, and leave without running into any former colleagues or patients.

The sun slanting into one of these sparsely furnished rooms glanced off the top of a bent head, causing it to glow like a freshly minted penny. She stopped and stared, trying to reconcile the image of James Fraser seated in a too-small plastic chair, surrounded by a group of hospital-gowned children.

He must have caught sight of her while she stood gaping. Running to the door before she could find the motor function to turn around, he called out joyfully from behind a blue hospital mask.

“Doctor Beauchamp! Fancy meeting ye here.”

She mumbled something incoherent, damning herself for the blush she felt enveloping her cheeks. Behind Jamie, a row of dewy eyes watched on. She recognized the paper-thin skin and missing hair of chemotherapy patients, and a salty knot rose in her throat.

“Can ye spare a few minutes? Ye’re jes the pair of steady hands we need.”

She longed to decline, to disappear, to come up with a plausible excuse why she couldn’t enter that room. Her heart thumped angrily in her chest, warning of its fragile state.

Seeing her conflict, Jamie extended a welcoming hand.

“Come, Sassenach. The lassies would love tae meet ye.”

The space smelled of sterile laundry and sawdust. With a habit borne of years of practice, Claire disinfected her hands in the small utility sink and donned a spare mask from the nearby dispenser, all while wondering what the hell she was doing.

The children were seated on colourful chairs arranged around a low table, its surface covered in pieces of pre-cut lumber, colourful pots of paint, a glue gun and all manner of cheap decorations such as you would find at a craft store. The little girls ranged in age from pre-school to young teen, but they all looked at Jamie as though he’d hung the moon as he addressed them.

“Ladies, I’d like ye tae meet Doctor Beauchamp. She’s a braw doctor but I bet she kens next tae nothing about woodwork. Ye’ll have tae show her how it’s done.”

A chorus of nervous giggles was the only response. Claire knew from experience that being a medical professional wasn’t going to endear her to children who spent much of their lives being essentially tortured in the name of science, hoping for some kind of miracle.

“Hello, everyone,” she waved meekly. “You can call me Miss Claire, if you like. Now, whatever are you doing with all this wood?”

It turned out that Jamie was supervising the construction of a half-dozen birdhouses. He had pre-cut the lumber for easy assembly, but was assisting each girl to create a custom masterpiece that would hang outside her hospital window. With the patience and steady manner of a primary school teacher, Jamie led the group through each step.

A waifish girl of perhaps six sat directly to Claire’s left, her bare scalp covered by a brightly coloured bandana, offset by a huge pair of peacock-blue eyes that glimmered above her mask. Eyes that were the mirror of the ones that visited her office every Thursday. Something heavy settled inside her ribs.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” she asked in a low voice as she pushed an open pot of sky blue paint away from the table’s edge. Small hands busied themselves pulling apart a package of cotton balls that looked suspiciously like the ones kept in the hospital’s supply cabinet.

“Margaret Murray, Doctor, errr, Miss Claire,” came the timid reply.

Not Fraser, then. But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. She snuck a glance across the table at Jamie, who was just then teasing the youngest girl by tickling her cheeks with a fake feather. Despite her heavy thoughts, she couldn’t help but smile. That smile faltered when she noticed that the inside of Jamie’s elbows bore a matching set of fresh bandages. A series of puzzle pieces tumbled into place.

Perhaps sensing the weight of her scrutiny, Jamie looked their way, whistling in admiration when he saw Maggie’s near-complete birdhouse.

“Tis a fine hame ye’ve built fer yer wee birds, Maggie. What is all yon white fluff for?”

“Tis clouds, Uncle Jamie,” Maggie replied with the certainty of childhood. “I dinna want the birdies tae miss the sky, even when they arenna flyin’.”

Claire watched the words hit him as surely as though they had been bullets. A frozen gasp, a shudder that travelled the length of his body and the crest of tears that he tried valiantly to blink away.

“Aye, ye’re right, a nighean. Any bird would be fair honoured tae sleep in yer skyhouse,” he managed to reply, voice bouldery with contained emotion.

When each birdhouse was complete and left along the window ledge to dry, Jamie set his small crew of helpers the task of clearing up the mess. Claire stood next to him as he loaded his tools back into a small carrying case.

“Thanks for inviting me to join you, Jamie. It was... well, it was unexpectedly wonderful,” she admitted.

“Ye’re most welcome, Doctor Beauchamp. We couldna have managed wi’out yer steady hand manning the glue gun,” he teased.

“You’re not my patient here, Jamie. You don’t need to use my title,” she said, a bit vexed by his formality.

“Aye, but it doesna feel right tae call ye by yer given name either. An’ Miss Claire is jes weird.”

She had to acknowledge that he had a point.

“What was it you called me earlier? Sassa-something?”

“Sassenach. My Da woulda skelped my hide if he heard me call a lady by that name,” he said ruefully.

“Why, does it mean something terribly offensive?” She was almost afraid to know, having enjoyed the delusion that Jamie felt as fondly towards her as she did towards him.

“Nah, tis jes an old-fashioned word for an English person in Scotland. Seemed tae suit ye, is all.” He shrugged, seemingly embarrassed by the explanation.

“Well then, Sassenach it is. When I’m not on the clock, that is.”

Jamie’s eyes danced above his mask the way they did when he smiled, and she imagined hers replied in much the same way. A long moment passed when nothing was said, neither of them looking away.

“You’re her platelet donor,” she said at last. “Maggie’s, I mean.”

“Aye. Every week while she’s in hospital for chemotherapy. Tis the least I can do.”

It was an explanation that fit all the facts, but one that she never would have guessed. Jamie had always worn long sleeves to his appointments, but she was certain the weeks when he was haggard and worn out coincided with the times he was donating the litres of blood necessary to distill into the platelet concentrate that would then be injected into Maggie’s body, helping her combat the poisonous effects of her chemotherapy.

“Whisky, women and song?” she prodded, relieved and yet frustrated that his offhand comment had kept her from seeing the truth. “Why didn’t you just tell me, Jamie?”

“I didna want yer pity, Sassenach. Fer once in my life, tis no’ about me, ye ken? I didna want ye lookin’ at me like I was some kind of hero.”

She held back her reaction that his was a textbook definition of heroism, and instead asked the next obvious question.

“Are you a compatible bone marrow donor as well?”

Jamie shook his head slowly. Although he was a close match, he explained, it wasn’t close enough. Maggie’s older brother, Wee Jamie, was a perfect match but the law prohibited him from becoming a donor until he was at least sixteen, in seven long years.

“We’re jes tryin’ tae buy her enough time,” he said sadly before stepping out of the room, explaining he’d be back momentarily.

Claire stood in a daze, running through everything she’d assumed about Jamie in light of these newest facts. A light tug on her hand drew her back into the moment. Maggie was looking up at her with wide, trusting eyes.

“Are ye the Sassenach lady Uncle Jamie and my Mam argue about?”

“I suppose I might be,” she replied, curious what had been said between the siblings that Maggie had overheard.

“Are ye a heart doctor?” Maggie continued.

“Well, no. Not exactly. I’m the kind of doctor who helps people who are sad, and I try to find a way for them to be happy again.” It sounded so easy when explaining it to a six year old.

“Sometimes Mam and Da talk about Uncle Jamie when they dinna ken I’m listenin’. I’m verra good at sneakin’,” Maggie confided, and Claire couldn’t help but smile. What a precious child. “I’m sure you are,” she replied warmly, a hand coming to rest gently on the tiny cloth-covered head.

“Mam says Uncle Jamie is more stubborn than a mule and that he canna see past his own big heid,” Maggie continued. Claire couldn’t say that she disagreed with that assessment.

“But Da says Uncle Jamie’s heart has been broken too many times, and thas’ why he’s given up on living. Can ye fix his heart, Miss Claire, so that it isna broken any more?”

She couldn’t have stopped her tears if she tried. She knelt on the floor and gathered Maggie’s thin, fragile body in her arms.

“Oh, Maggie. I’m certainly going to try.”

#my writing #outlander

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secretlittlerandezvous · 4 years ago

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A Day With The Benns - Jamie Benn

Summary: A look into the Benns household and a day spent with the family.

To the angel who requested this: From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. I don't know who you are but I love you - for this request and for the beautiful words that came with it. It keeps making me feel like my heart will burst from happiness. I also thank you for giving me a reason to write about how I see my future life and what I hope for (this is basically me writing about my dream life) 💘🕊💫

Note: D/n means “daughter’s name”. The bedtime story is an excerpt from the book “Goodnight, hockey fans” by Andrew Larsen.

Words: 2487

“The truest, best love had nothing to do with luck. Luck was faithless, and worth little. True love wasn’t fancy, and it wasn’t magical, but simply true in every sense: honest, loyal and sure.” — Sonja Yoerg

It was that kind of a morning when you wake up and you know summer finally arrived. The sun was nicely warm and comforting unlike the stinging and cold winter sun, the birds were chirping in the trees from early in the morning and the air was fresh and warm. Y/n was woken up by the streaks of sunlight creeping into the bedroom through the window. She opened her eyes for a second and then closed them again and enjoyed the peace she felt which was quite unusual in the past few weeks. She didn’t hear a baby crying or the older kids running around the house wildly, she wasn’t woken up by them jumping on the bed to wake her up or by her husband leaving early for work. She loved her life and the chaos of it but it felt so nice to have a calm morning for once. After she fully enjoyed the silence, she opened her eyes, stretched her arms, and with a smile already present on her face she turned around to see her husband. Jamie had his back to her, but she certainly enjoyed the view at her husband’s muscular back and arms and she even blushed at the sight of him. But what warmed her heart, what couldn’t be beaten by his tattoos or muscles was the way he talked to their four months old baby girl. He had his arm protectively around her and Y/n found the contrast of his strong tattooed arm and her tiny little hand and fingers covered in a pink onesie absolutely adorable. He tickled her on her belly, and she smiled at him or watched him with her bright eyes with pure love. Y/n and the kids wished he could spend a little more time with them but they all understood why he couldn’t and whenever he was home he made the most of it and he dedicated his time to help his wife and to entertain the kids.

“Good morning my loves,” Y/n said happily as she looked over Jamie’s shoulder, kissed his cheek, and then smiled at their daughter who got even more excited when she noticed her.

“See? I told you mommy will wake up soon to give you a breakfast,” Jamie said to the little one. “Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I can’t do honey.” He said to Y/n and kissed her back.

“Not sure if anyone would want you to breastfeed babe,” she joked and took their daughter into her arms to feed her. “Are the kiddos awake?”

“Don’t think so,” Jamie mumbled. “I’ll go wake them up in a bit.” But first, he wanted to enjoy his wife’s company.

She was beautiful. He found her so beautiful. And he adored everything about her. Her kindness, the way she always loved him even though he could get a little grumpy sometimes. The way she handled everything with such ease. How smart she was. How supportive and understanding she was of him and his career. How she raised the kids, took care of them and their household on her own when he was away, and never used that against him. How good she was at her own job. How she created such a loving atmosphere in their family. Everything.

Jamie soon left to wake up the two older boys who even despite the complaints got out of the bed pretty quick and happily ran downstairs to help their dad in the kitchen. Y/n stayed behind a little to take care of D/n and to put herself together before she headed to the kitchen to join the rest of the pack. She heard laughter and giggles coming from there and she stopped and listened to the conversation they were having, she smiled to herself and enjoyed everything that was said.

Y/n often felt that she didn’t have enough time to pause and enjoy the present moment, but she was slowly learning to do so. The kids were growing up way too fast for her liking, life kept moving forward without a chance of it ever slowing down and she got sad at times when she realized how fast the kids will turn into adults. Y/n wanted to stay stuck in time, stay this old for a little longer and have the kids stay little longer, and have more time to process it all. But mostly she wanted a little more time off for Jamie who even though never said it out loud regretted not being there for them all the time. But they knew he loved them more than anything or anyone else in the world and that was enough.

“Can we go skating with you dad?” Their oldest son asked with hope, but he knew what answer was coming. He asked the same question, every morning when Jamie was home and about to go to practice. Each time the answer was no but he never gave up. The positive attitude towards everything and how he was never losing hope was Jamie’s favorite trait of their oldest son. It reminded him of Y/n.

“You know you can’t come with me buddy,” Jamie said with a sad voice. He hated saying no to him and he even wished he could bring the boys with him, but it was never convenient. “But I can ask the boys and we can go skating together on the weekend. What do you think?”

“I think we should hurry up,” Y/n joined the conversation, but no one heard her because the boys started screaming in excitement. She then sat down at the table and enjoyed the pancakes Jamie and the boys made for her and she helped their younger son with eating because he preferred to play with it rather than eating it. “Did you guys tell daddy where you’re going today?”

“No,” the older boy said. “We’re going to the zoo with the kindergarten.”

“And you wanted to miss the zoo to go skating? The zoo’s more fun for sure.” Jamie answered.

After the tasty breakfast, everyone headed to the bathroom to get ready for kindergarten and the day. Jamie helped them brush their teeth and hair, he even let them use a tiny little amount of his deodorant because both boys adored their dad and wanted to be just like him. It wasn’t rare for the boys to draw on their hands and pretend the drawings were real tattoos or them putting on Jamie’s hockey gear and playing hockey around the house. Y/n in the meantime prepared their outfits, soothed the crying baby, and managed to get dressed up without being disturbed.

“I’ll drop the kids at the kindergarten,” Jamie whispered as he wrapped his hands around Y/n’s waist from behind and hugged her tightly. “And I’ll try to get back home sooner than usual, and we can then do something fun.”

“Aren’t you amazing?” Y/n said happily, turning around to face Jamie, wrapping her hands around his neck, and kissing him before he got to answer. She expected a cocky answer from him, and she wanted to avoid it.

A few minutes later the whole family was outside their house, all of them about to head in different directions to different places. The boys were going to the kindergarten, Jamie to the arena and Y/n and D/n were going for a regular check-up at the doctor. “I love you boys,” said with a proud face and kissed all three boys goodbye.

“And we love you girls,” Jamie said, kissed Y/N and their daughter and the boys repeated after him before they all jumped into the car.

Later that day after Y/n returned home from the doctors and the grocery store, she cooked lunch for herself and then picked up the boys from the kindergarten. They then went for a walk around the neighborhood to put D/n to sleep in her stroller and the boys being the amazing brothers argued about who was gonna push the stroller. Y/n felt joy in her heart she couldn’t describe. She was simply proud of how loving the boys were.

When Jamie returned home, 2 hours earlier than usual, he expected to find his pack in the living room and he secretly hoped they would greet him, but the house was empty. He went to the living room and that’s when he finally found Y/n and the kids. They were in the garden enjoying the warm weather and the sunshine, eating some fruit, and playing with way too many things but they seemed to be enjoying. Jamie watched them from behind the glass door and adored Y/n once again. She was smiling widely, she glowed and looked even prettier than usual at that moment. She was showing D/n some flowers they probably picked in their garden and D/n was from what Jamie saw laughing at it. The boys were sitting on the blankets around the girls, their younger son was drawing something (and judging from the dozens of papers lying around it wasn’t his first artwork that day) and the older son was playing the puzzles while telling Y/n some exciting story. She listened carefully to every word and looked at the kids with so much love and adoration that Jamie wondered how he could get so lucky.

“Dad!” The younger boy screamed when Jamie came to the garden and both boys happily ran towards him to hug him.

“When you said you were gonna come home earlier I didn’t expect it would be this early,” Y/n said to Jamie as he sat down next to her. “But I’m not complaining. I missed you.”

“Missed you too love,” Jamie whispered as he leaned closer to kiss her and he then picked up D/n and took her in his arms to cuddle with her. Jamie was such a great dad and Y/n always knew he would be even though Jamie used to call himself a boy dad and say that he wouldn’t know what to do with a girl. But the moment they found out their next baby was going to be a girl he changed his mind completely and couldn’t wait to have a daughter. And from the second she was born she had him wrapped around her finger. “If you want you can go take a nap, I’ll stay there with the kids. I know you didn’t get much sleep.” Jamie offered.

At the first moment, she wanted to accept the offer and go to bed but when she looked around, she changed her mind. The sky was still blue, the sun was still shining, and the kids were having way too much fun and there was no way she was gonna miss this moment with her whole family. “I think I’ll stay right here.” She said with a smile.

The family stayed in the garden until the sun disappeared from the sky and just when the air got significantly colder, they all realized it was time to head home and have dinner. Neither one of them wanted to move because they were having so much fun but all of them were hungry and tired after a long day. The boys happily helped Y/n with dinner and although it took a little longer and the kitchen was a little messier than if Y/n did it on her own she enjoyed it as any other activity with her loves. Dinner was a favorite time of the day in the Benn family because it was usually the time when they all gathered and spent time together. For Y/n it was a time where she finally had everyone home and that was when she felt best even if it meant Jamie would leave for a game later. Jamie loved it because he was finally home with the ones most important to him and nothing could ever compare to the warmth of being home with his family. The kids loved dinner just as any other time they would get to eat but even they knew it meant they would most likely be all together.

“Dad? Can you read to us tonight?” One of the boys asked Jamie after the dinner.

“Of course!” Jamie answered with excitement. “Go brush your teeth and I’ll be there in a second okay?”

The boys listened and ran upstairs to their bathroom to brush their teeth and put on their pajamas and quickly jumped to bed and waited for Jamie. Jamie soon left Y/n alone in the living room so she could feed the baby in peace and went to the boys’ room.

“Alright, boys, ready?” Jamie asked the boys as he sat down with the book the boys picked. It was their favorite book about hockey that Jamie got them when they were younger and both Jamie and Y/n lost track of the number of times they read it to them. “A young boy doesn't want to go to bed. The hockey game is on! ‘What if I can't fall asleep?’ the boy says. ‘Don't worry,’ says his dad. ‘You will.’ After his parents have tucked him in and turned out the light, he shines a flashlight on his prized hockey possessions around his room: the posters of his favorite players, the pennant for his favorite team, the puck.” Jamie read. Not for too long though, the boys well asleep after a few minutes. “Good night boys,” Jamie said quietly as he left the room.

Y/n just finished putting D/n to sleep when Jamie walked into their bedroom. “That was quick,” Y/n noted.

“Told you I have a talent at putting the kids to sleep.” He said with a grin. “Abd good night to my little princess.” He whispered and kissed his little girl gently on her forehead before Y/n put her into her crib.

“You’re just lucky,” Y/n answered.

“I am,” Jamie said with a proud smile as he looked at his wife. He knew he was lucky. He hardly ever told this to his family, but he knew they knew he loved them more than anything. “And now I can finally focus purely on you.” He announced when he got out of the shower and went to Y/n.

“This was one of the nicest days in a while Jamie,” Y/n snuggled to Jamie and traced Jamie’s tattoos mindlessly. “Oh, and you better don’t forget to take the kids skating on the weekend. They were talking about it all day.” She laughed.

“I told the team and they all agreed to hang out,” he said. “And now give me a big kiss.” He said seriously.

“You’re horrible,” Y/n laughed before she kissed him. No matter how annoying and cocky he could get she loved him with all her heart.

#jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn one shot #jamie benn writing #jamie benn imagines #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars writing #dallas stars one shot #dallas stars imagines #nhl players imagine #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #nhl writing #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey one shot #hockey writing #hockey imagines

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thebrochtuarachs · 4 years ago

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Something in the Rain - “Finding Solid Ground”

A/N: Hi all! This chapter has been in the drafts for quite sometime now but I only had the time to pick up the writing. Thank you so much for your patience with my slow updates but rest assured, I absolutely love this story and daydream about the chapters ahead. As always, your comment and suggestions help a lot moving this story forward. Hope you all are keeping safe and healthy! Till the next one!

AO3 / C1: A Day In June : C2: Definitely, Maybe : C3: So We Meet Again : C4: Friday Lunch

XXXXX

She was 45 minutes late.

Claire was running as fast as she could, catching some curious eyes on her as she raced towards Mrs. Kim’s Korean Street Food Hub to hopefully, still catch Jamie for their lunch.

She got off from her morning surgery quite late due to some complications but she still went as courtesy and because, in all honesty, she still wanted to see him. Their last encounter kind of left them in an awkward place and she was hoping that this meeting could help clarify some things. She has been waiting for this all week but alas, life (and medicine) had other plans.

Claire entered the store and knew instantly that he wasn’t there. The place was empty after the lunch rush and she sighed in disappointment.

“Claire!” Mrs. Kim suddenly called out. “This is for you, left by your friend”, she said while handing her a piece of paper.

“Thank you” Claire replied, opening it on spot.

Hi Claire,

Sorry, I left before you arrived but I have to get back to the office. Don’t worry about the wait, I really don’t mind but I just have a packed schedule today.

Forgive me if this is too forward but here’s my number. No pressure! Just figured we can text or call whenever is a better time to catch up. Just hit me up when you feel like it and I’ll be on the other line.

I do hope to hear from you soon. If not, I’ll be here next Friday, same time :)

Jamie

Claire did not waste any more time and punched in Jamie’s mobile number to call. After three rings, he answered.

“Hello?”

“Jamie? It’s me, Claire.”

“Claire, hi! I see you got my note.”

“I did. I am so sorry. My surgery ran a little bit long and…”

“Don’t worry, I figured that must be it.” he said cheerfully, cutting her off before she went into a long explanation. “I mean, you save lives and all, couldn’t be angry about that.”

Claire sighed relief on the other line and couldn’t believe just how understanding he is. So understanding that she’s starting to wonder if he’s even real. She hasn't really met anyone that chivalrous and it captures her.

“Oh, wow. Thank you - and thank you for the note and your number. My guilt would’ve eaten me alive if I couldn’t apologize to you.”

“You don’t think it was too forward?”

“No, not at all. To be honest, I was going to ask it last week before we got, erm, interrupted.”

“Well, that’s good to know. And in any case, I would’ve given it.” Jamie said.

She could hear his smile from the other line and she couldn’t help but smile too.

“Anyhow,” Claire followed. “I am so sorry I missed you today. To make up for it, would you happen to be doing anything tomorrow?”

“Hmm, let me check." Jamie checked his board calendar. "Nope, my weekend is free. Anything you had in mind?”

“Well, if you’re up for it, I’d like to invite you to the center tomorrow, see what we’re doing with the kids. Fair warning though, they get a little rowdy sometimes.”

“I’m game! Text me the details and what time to meet you.”

“Really? Great! Sure, I’ll text you the details in a bit”

“Will wait for it. Claire, sorry to cut this short but I have to run to a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Oh no, please. Go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow, Alright, bye!”

It was a Saturday, two weeks since their encounter by the crossing, and now she’s waiting for him to arrive and bring him to one of the most special places for her.

Claire hadn’t absolutely thought through what inviting Jamie to the center would mean. Reflecting on yesterday, a part of Claire thought she may have panicked and this invite might’ve been a mistake. On another end was a part of her that was excited to see him and if she was really being honest, spend time with him, and show her the work they have been doing.

She had told her their meeting story and the extended invite to her friends and staff but left out the part about their lunches. She messaged the team on WhatsApp about their upcoming guest and her inbox has blown with messages asking her for more details about the man himself. She messaged that they’ll be able to find out for themselves tomorrow when they meet him and turned off her phone.

“Claire?” Deep in thought she hadn’t seen or hear Jamie arrive. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Spaced out there for a bit” she embarrassingly admitted.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jamie asked as Claire pointed the way in.

“Erm, nothing much. Just thinking about giving you fair warning about everyone upstairs. They’re quite curious about you, Jamie Fraser.” she said jokingly the half truth.

Jamie got a bit nervous suddenly and Claire felt it. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll save you if they get too rowdy. Be ready to answer questions though." She said, smiling, hoping to ease his thoughts.

“Is any topic off limits? Should I not mention anything to them?”

“I leave it to you. But if you ask me, just be yourself and charm everyone away”

Jamie chuckled and Claire turned to him. “What?”

“You think I’m charming?”

Claire laughed and smacked him in the arm. “Oh, bug off!”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Anyway!” Claire interrupted. “Today’s event is just art and crafts and a story session. The rest, the kids can do and play how ever they like. I usually just play with any kid who asks me to and time just flies and suddenly, the afternoon is done.”

“Got it. I honestly hope I can help more than distract or whatever”

“Pssh, you’ll be fine, Jamie. You’ll be fine”

The moment the elevator doors opened, a line of people greeted Jamie and Claire at the entrance.

“Hello, everyone” Claire greeted but to her surprise, no one spoke or moved. Everyone was just looking at Jamie. “This is Jamie. Jamie Fraser, our guest for today”

She ushered them closer to the stunned group and began to introduce them one by one.

Mary, the receptionist and admin assistant.

Mrs. Graham, the secretariat and head of operations.

Joe, also a surgeon from Claire’s hospital.

Frank, the history professor he’d met a week earlier.

Geilis, a botanist and herbalist.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Thank you for having me this afternoon.” Jamie said and it was only then that the ice was broken.

“Hi, Jamie was it? Can I call you Jamie?” Mrs. Graham prodded.

“Yes, Mam”

“Alright, this way. Let me show you around”

As Mrs. Graham swept Jamie away for a short tour, the rest of the group crowded Claire with questions.

“Okay, he is even more handsome than in the pictures!” Geilis excitedly said.

“Pictures?” Claire asked.

“Ugh, I sometimes forget you’re a doctor who needs to catch up to the times” Geilis pinched her nose jokingly. “Jamie was named one of Scotland’s most eligible bachelors in a tatler magazine last year. There’s pretty striking photos of him in a tux and in casual clothes.”

“I remember that issue. Gail had one lying in the house and I happen to peruse it one time. You’re right, the pictures don’t do him justice.” Joe chimed in.

“I had no idea. I mean, I just literally bumped into the guy on the street!” Claire said, a curiosity pooling in her mind. She had to look for that magazine later.

“Such a meet-cute story. Ugh, Claire! It’s like something out of the books or movies” Geilis added.

“Psh, he seems too manly for me. I mean, who is that fit and that put together.” Frank mused.

“I think he’s quite charming” Joe added.

“If you ask me, Claire, I don’t know what’s going on between you two but keep it going” Geilis added.

“Aish, nothing is going on. I just extended a polite invite to make up for - “ Claire stopped as Jamie and Mrs. Graham arrived back, thankful for the Interruption.

“Make up for what?” Geilis asked, not missing that info.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Mhm” Geilis hummed raising an eyebrow to Claire. She’ll pull it out of her later.

---

It was a long but fun afternoon for everyone.

Afterwards, one by one, the space cleared out, the kids were picked up, saying goodbye to the staff with some even approaching and waving at Jamie as they left, leaving him with a heartwarming feeling.

“Well, another successful weekend, folks!” Frank called out and the team gave themselves applause.

“Great job to Joe and Mary for taking on the storytelling and painting sessions this afternoon and I would also like to thank our guest, Jamie, for being patient and helpful with the kids” Mrs. Graham added, earning another group applause.

“Thank ye, I hope I helped at all today but otherwise, I enjoyed today and thank ye for inviting me.” Jamie shared.

“Come join us anytime” Joe patted him on the back. “Alright, everyone, have a goodnight. See you all next week, I’ll bring Gail and Lenny along.” With that he made a way for the elevator and it was everyone’s cue to leave.

Claire approached Jamie just as he was going to her. “Well, how are you and how was it?” she asked. If she expected to spend time with Jamie, well, it didn’t happen. First, he was whisked away by Mrs. Graham. Afterwards, it was Joe asking help to build his set. Next up was Mary who got him assisting on getting and serving the food, and the rest of the time, it was kids calling out on Jamie here and there and he was more than happy to oblige.

“Fun and a little bit tiring” he replied and Claire gave a small laugh. “But in all honesty, thank ye for inviting me to come here. Made me miss my niece and nephew”

“I’m glad you had fun and I’m glad you got to see what we’re doing here.”

Jamie might be overthinking things but he knew that Claire sharing this part of her to him seems like a big thing and he intends to cherish that.

“Anyway, I’d like to offer to drive ye home...or to the nearest bus stop” he added, panicking he put her in a tight spot.

Claire paused, eyed him jokingly, intentionally making him more flush and nervous.

“I’d take that offer but” she began and Jamie swallowed the lump on his throat, “I actually live nearby so we don’t need to drive”

“Okay,” Jamie sighed in relief which Claire found very cute. “Lead the way, then”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #SITR #something in the rain #fanfic #fanfiction #jamie fraser #claire fraser #jamie x claire #AU #light AU #fun AU #mia writes #TB writes #feel free to drop your comments and suggestions #would love to hear from you guys

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ebdaydreamer · 3 years ago

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New Chapter

Written for @mashikkara for the @b99fandomevents summer fic exchange, inspired by the prompts ‘ 'Moving Houses' and 'Santiago getting a promotion'. I hope you like it!

Summary: Everything in Amy's life is going great: new house, new baby on the way and a promotion that takes her one step closer to her dream of Captain. She's happy - of course, she is - her life is going exactly how she planned. Except there's just one small catch...

[AO3]

“C’mon, Ames, this one is it, I can feel it!” Jake insisted, gently pulling his wife along.

Amy couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. “Babe, you’ve said that about the last three houses.”

“And? Were they really so bad?” Jake asked, “Or did they just not meet up to your impossible standards?”

“The first one was in a sketchy neighbourhood, the second one had a weird smell and the third one was a health hazard!” she insisted.

Jake rolled his eyes, “Squeaky stairs and a couple of broken cabinets are not health hazards, babe.”

Amy bit her lip as they reached the door of the fourth house, “It’s just… with another one on the way, and Mac still being so young I don’t want to have to spend months working on a house.”

Before Jake could reassure her, the estate agent opened the door. “Hi, you must be Jake and Amy. I’m Linda, c’mon in.”

They stepped inside to a spacious living area, complete with a fireplace and huge sliding glass doors that let them peer into the garden.

Linda began her tour, “So, as you know, this place has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, one of which is just here-” she pointed at a door on the left, “and through here is the kitchen.” She led them through a large archway to the right, revealing what had to be a brand new kitchen in blue and white with an island that could seat 4 around it.

“Now obviously there’s not enough room in here for a dining area, but there’s enough space in the living area that you could find room in there if you need it.” She turned to face them with a smile, “How many of you will it be?”

“Four, in a few months,” said Amy, unable to stop herself from holding her bump and smiling. They’d hoped that they’d be moved into a house in time to have the sex reveal party there, but they were running out of time.

Linda’s smile brightened, “Congratulations! So you already have one? How old are they?”

“He’ll be five next month,” Jake answered. “He’s really excited.”

“Well you should know, the schools around here are excellent,” Linda assured them, “and there’s been quite an uptake of young families moving to this neighbourhood, so there are plenty of other kids to have playdates with.”

Amy’s grip on Jake’s arm tightened: that was exactly what they had wanted. Mac had tons of friends at school already, but most of them didn’t live close by. In fact, one of his closest friends - Jamie - had moved just a few streets over to this house a couple of months ago.

“Shall we explore upstairs next,” Linda asked, “or would you like to see the garden?”

Their tour ended in the smallest bedroom, and Linda left to give them a moment.

“Ames,” Jake called, pulling her attention away from the window, “I know there are other houses on your list but this-”

“Me too,” she smiled. “I can see this being our home, where we raise our family. And Mac will make so many new friends, and he can play in the garden, and we can get him that swingset he’s always wanted.”

“Yeah! And we can get a sandpit and some chairs and we can have barbecues with everyone from the Nine-Nine…” Jake trailed off as Amy’s face drop as she was reminded. “And, the Nine-Three once you become their favourite Lieutenant ever.”

Amy had received her results of the Lieutenants exam two weeks ago now, but she hadn’t told anyone but Jake and Holt. There wasn’t a Lieutenant position available at the Nine-Nine, so Holt had helped her look into other precincts, sending a glowing recommendation over with her application, and she had quickly been accepted at the Nine-Three. Luckily, her new Captain (whoever they were, Holt had been very tight-lipped on the Nine-Three, assuring her it would be a great fit and asking her to trust him) had been very understanding about her pregnancy and the transfer wouldn’t be until she returned from maternity leave, so she still had a few months left with the Nine-Nine.

A few months left to tell the squad she was leaving.

Linda returned, peeping around the door. “So, how are we feeling?”

Jake and Amy didn’t even need to look at each other.

“We want to place an offer.”

“Charles, please don’t cry,” Jake begged.

Charles just sobbed louder. “How can I not! My best friend is moving away!”

“Charles, it’s not that far. You can still come visit us anytime.”

His best friend turned to him, face red and blotchy, “You mean it?”

“Of course, buddy!” Jake placed his hand on Charles’ shoulder. “Mac loves hanging out with his Uncle Charles and his cousin Nikolaj.”

“Nikolaj.”

“What about Auntie RoRo?” Rosa piqued up.

Amy answered her, “Of course, Rosa. Come round whenever.” Amy gestured around the briefing room, “All of you are welcome anytime.” She was sure Jake would be the only one to notice the tightness in her smile. He knew how eager she was to have the squad over, for them to feel at home to make up for not seeing them at work.

“And, you’re all welcome to our house-warming party,” Jake declared. “And our house-moving-in party, especially you, Terry. When are your next days off?”

Holt interrupted, “If that’s all, may I start the briefing, considering we are currently in the briefing room?”

“Actually, Captain, we do have one more announcement.” Amy could feel Jake shaking with anticipation, knowing he was revelling in Holt’s somewhat tired expression, but they knew he was used to the squad eating up briefing room time. Besides, their next announcement should cheer the robot up. “Now I know you’re all wondering, why the move?”

“We are not,” said Rosa.

Jake ignored her, “You’re all on the edge of your seats! Amy, would you like to tell them why we’re moving?”

Amy grinned, “I’m pregnant.”

With an ear-splitting shriek, Charles fainted.

“Yes!” Jake cheered, high-fiving Amy, “We got him first time!”

This pregnancy was not going as smoothly as the first. Her doctors were worried because Mac was early, and she was a bit older, which meant increased risk. Amy was already on desk duty and couldn’t lift anything too heavy, soon enough she’d be on bed rest.

Her last couple of months at the Nine-Nine being spent like this: it saddened her a bit.

“Hey Sarge,” Rosa greeted, sitting across from Amy at her desk. “Or is it Lieutenant yet?”

Amy fought back any reaction. “Nope, still just Sarge.” She still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell the squad about her transfer. She needed to do it before she went on maternity leave, she needed to do it soon.

This weekend, at the house-warming party/sex reveal. Most of the renovations and decorations were done, the baby’s room was all that was left and they were waiting on Terry’s next day off so he could paint a mural.

“Did you need something?” Amy asked.

Rosa slapped a file down on her desk, “I’ve been staring at this for two hours and my brain is mush. I need a second pair of eyes.”

“Thank you,” Amy grabbed the file, “I’m bored out of my mind.”

Amy spent the rest of the day consulting Rosa on her case. Helping others out had been the only thing keeping her sane during desk duty, and Amy suspected Rosa had noticed, as she had been regularly slapping case files down on her desk claiming she needed a ‘fresh pair of eyes’, or ‘her specific expertise’.

Gripping the file, Amy felt her throat tighten. As much as she loved working with the whole squad, she’d probably miss cases with Rosa the most. Sure, she’d miss working with Jake, and they always did work really well together, but there was something about working cases with her best friend that made her day just a little brighter.

Amy almost told her about the transfer then and there but stopped herself. This weekend. She wanted to tell everyone at once, so she was committing to the party this weekend.

The weekend finally arrived and Amy’s stomach was in knots, but she refused to back down. She was a Santiago, goddamnit: when they made plans they stuck to them.

Guests were milling around the house, most of them being led by Mac who was giving them a tour, which seemed to linger for a very long time in his bedroom. His grandparents in particular - all three sets: Santiago, Peralta and Cozner-Holt - were made to sit through a long presentation about his toys.

It was fitting in a way: their first sex reveal party was ruined by the cake being destroyed and this one would be ruined by her announcing she was leaving all her friends.

“Ames,” Jakes grabbed her hands and Amy startled. She hadn’t noticed him approach. “Breathe, you’re freaking out.”

Amy inhaled deeply. “They’ll all be so upset, it’ll ruin the party!”

“Or, they could be super happy for you?” Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “They’ve been even more anxious than you were waiting to hear about your Lieutenant exams results.”

“Mija,” a soft voice called out to her. Her mom, she hadn’t noticed her come over either. She really needed to calm down. “Are you alright? You look upset.”

“Just nerves, Camila,” Jake assured her. “Y’know, pregnancy and hormones. She’s just been a little anxious recently.”

Her mom cooed and Jake stood aside so she could embrace her. She began stroking her hair and Amy slowly felt herself calm down.

“Tell you what, why don’t we cut the cake now?” Jake suggested.

Amy nodded, staying in her mother’s arms as Jake left for the kitchen.

He came back carrying the beautiful white cake (that had not been baked by Peraltas this time) and placed it on the dining table.

“Everyone, if I could have your atten-”

Jake was cut off by the lights going out.

Amy groaned, “Please don’t tell me there’s been a power cut. Nothing good ever happens when I’m pregnant in a power cut.”

Lights suddenly returned to the room, but they were not the ones that had just gone out. Instead, the room was lit up with blue and pink laser lights.

Mac’s face lit up and he started pointing to the back door. “Auntie Gi!”

Everyone turned, to see the one and only Gina Linetti in the door frame. “Correct, Mac! Auntie Gina is here and the party can begin!”

The crowd started clapping: another classic Gina Linetti entrance.

“Gina!” Jake rushed to hug her. “I thought you couldn’t make it!”

She giggled, “Last minute change of plans, Jacob.”

“We’re glad you’re here, Gina,” Amy grinned, her mood thoroughly lifted. “But can we have the normal lights back, please?”

Gina rolled her eyes but clicked a button on a little remote in her hand, and the laser lights disappeared. “Thank you for being my prop man, Charles.”

“My pleasure,” Charles beamed, switching the lights back on, clearly very proud of himself. “But the suspense is killing me, can we cut the cake now?”

Laughter rippled across the room as everyone crowded around the table.

“Ok,” said Amy, grabbing the knife, the excitement beginning to bubble. “We are having a-”

She lifted up the slice of cake: pink.

“GIRL!”

“IT’S A GIRL!”

“Congratulations!”

“One of each!”

Charles burst into tears.

Once everyone had calmed down (well, Charles wasn’t exactly calm, per se, but he was calm enough) and had a slice of cake, Amy knew. It was time to rip off the band-aid.

“If I could have your attention, once again?”

The chatter quieted down, as people turned their gaze to Amy, who had stood up from her very comfy chair.

Band-aid: off.“I got my results from the Lieutenant’s exam. I’m gonna be a Lieutenant.”

Whoops and cheers rippled throughout the room. Her father raced over to embrace her, whispering in her ear, “I’m so proud of you.” Amy felt tears swell in her eyes at his words but fought them back. Not yet.

“But,” she had to shout, regaining everyone’s attention, “unfortunately, there isn’t a position open in the Nine-Nine, so I’m transferring to the Nine-Three.”

And everyone’s faces dropped.

The silence seemed to drag on forever, until Terry spoke up. “Congratulations, Amy. You’re gonna be a great Lieutenant and they’re gonna love you there.”

Some people perked up, congratulating her, but the squad was still clearly tense.

“When do you transfer?” Charles asked, his voice still hoarse from crying.

Amy tried to smile, “Not until after my maternity leave.”

“So you’ll be on desk duty, go on maternity leave and then that’s it?” Rosa snapped.

Her smile dropped, “Well, yeah, but I mean, we’ll still see each other all the time. You guys all have keys for the house.”

“I don’t,” Scully piped up for the first time.

“Me either,” echoed Hitchcock.

“Uhhhhhh,” said Jake and Amy in sync, staring at them for a moment, before ignoring them and turning back to Rosa.

“But none of us will ever work on a case with you again,” Rosa frowned. “How long have you known?”

“Rosa-” Amy began.

“How. Long. Have. You. Known?”

Amy began to stutter, which seemed to be answer enough for Rosa, who stormed off upstairs.

Whilst the mood of the party still wasn’t great, it had improved significantly as people chatted and danced to the music. Rosa still hadn’t come down.

Amy was sitting on the sofa, one of Mac’s juice boxes in hand, feeling guilty when a ‘thud’ alerted her to a presence next to her.

“She’ll get over it,” Gina told her. “Once she realises she’s sad, not angry and also super duper proud of you.”

Amy sighed, “I just feel so bad-”

“Don’t,” Gina cut her off. “Don’t feel bad for pursuing your career, your dreams. I certainly didn’t when I left the Nine-Nine. Does that make me a bad person?”

She smiled, “Of course not, but-”

“She’s just gonna miss you, dude,” Gina interrupted again. “Also means she’s stuck with Boyle and Jake most of the time, which sucks.”

Amy laughed, the guilt slowly ebbing away. “Thanks, Gina.”

“Don’t let other people stop you from achieving your dreams: new Gina-mandment.”

It was Amy’s last day at the Nine-Nine, and Rosa was still being stand-offish with her. It stung because it reminded Amy too much of when they first - before they were friends.

They were in the briefing room, and Amy had tried to sit next to Rosa, who immediately got up and made Scully switch seats with her. Amy had tried to listen to Holt, but all she could think about was the friend she hurt.

She zoned back in once she heard her name. “-Santiago’s last day with us here in the Nine-Nine before she goes on maternity leave, and then becomes a Lieutenant in the Nine-Three.”

He looked at her, a rare warm smile across his face, “We’re all very proud of you, and we’ll miss having you as one of our own.” He turned back to the squad, “I apologise for being so overly sentimental. Dismissed.”

Most of Amy’s last day at the Nine-Nina was taken up by people coming up to her, congratulating her on the baby, the promotion, saying they’ll miss her - everyone but the one person she wanted to hear it from the most.

It was near the end of her shift when Holt called her into his office.

“Everything alright, Sir?” she asked, lowering herself into the chair across from Holt.

Instead of answering, he asked a question of his own. “How has your last day been, Lieutenant?”

“Good,” Amy smiled. “Finished everything up,” she nodded, feeling the tears come on, “said my goodbyes.” She carried on nodding, fighting back the tears. Pregnancy and saying goodbye was not a good combination. She knew she’d be emotional wherever she left the Nine-Nine, but the pregnancy hormones were making it a thousand times worse.

His lips quirked upwards ever so slightly. “I just wanted to tell you again how proud of you I am. It has been my absolute honour to be your mentor, and I cannot wait to see you make improvements elsewhere within the NYPD. I hope your time here, with us, with me, proves itself useful…” he trailed off, the guise of formality dropping. “And I am so elated to see you succeed. I know it won’t be long until you yourself become a Captain, and make great change in this city.”

Amy was freely crying now. “Thank you, sir. I just want you to know that whatever good I do, whatever change I make, it will be because you helped me get there. You set the example. I can only hope to live up to you.”

Tears glistened in Holt’s eyes, “You already have.”

After crying with Holt for a while, Amy pulled herself together and left his office, heading to her desk to collect her things. As she was putting the last of her stuff in her bag she heard a cough. She looked up and saw the one person who’d been avoiding her all day.

“Look, dude, obviously I’m super happy for you,” Rosa said quickly, making it impossible for her to get a word in edgeways. “You totally deserve this and if you need to leave to get that amazing career that you deserve then of course you had to do it. You’re gonna crush it. I was upset that you didn’t tell me earlier, so we could’ve made the most of your time here. But then I realised whilst I was brooding that I was the one wasting the last of our time working together. But I was too stubborn to tell you that, but now you’re leaving I can tell you.” Rosa finally took a breath, her face getting red as her eyes began to water. “I’m sorry.”

Amy just pulled into the tightest hug a pregnancy belly would allow.

“As soon as I can we’re going on a girls night,” she declared.

Rosa chuckled into her shoulder “If anyone in your new precinct gives you crap just call me. I’ll bring my axe… and my throwing stars, just to be sure.”

The sleuth sisters laughed.

3 months later

“You sure you’ve got everything?” Jake asked as she got out of the car.

Amy rolled her eyes, “I’m sure. I’m not your child, you don’t need to fret over me.”

“I’ll send you updates if you send me updates,” Jake offered, getting out of the car to hug her goodbye. “And I’ll bring the kids when I pick you up later.”

She smiled at her doting husband. “Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You too.” He kissed her goodbye.

Amy watched him drive away before turning to the building before her: the Nine-Three. Her new precinct.

Walking into the building, Amy kept her eyes peeled for anyone she might know. There had to be a reason Holt recommended this place so highly yet refused to tell her anything about it.

“Lieutenant Santiago!”

As much joy as being called that gave her, it was overshadowed by the joy at hearing that voice.

“Captain Kim!”

She turned around to the older woman holding out her hand. “Welcome to the Nine-Three, Lieutenant. I’m so glad to have you onboard.”

Amy spluttered, trying to get past her shock.

“So, a nice surprise?” she asked.

Finally finding her tongue, Amy cried, “Yes! Absolutely!”

“Good! I’ve been so excited to work with you, the wait was killing me,” Kim chuckled. “When Holt reached out to ask if we had an opening here and that you were looking to transfer, I said yes in a heartbeat.”

Amy’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? I thought with the impression the squad must have given, especially my husband…”

Kim waved her hand, “Oh no, water under the bridge. I actually found it inspiring how close you all were.” Kim began walking, leading her to her office. “After Holt was promoted again he reached out to apologise, and we got to talking. He gave me lots of advice on how being so close made you better detectives. And lots of other advice.” She opened the door to her office, gesturing at Amy to have a seat. “The last Lieutenant was an older gentleman. Good at his job, but very resistant to change. I hope with your help we’ll be able to do some good here and make this precinct an actual force for good in this city.”

Amy beamed. “I can’t wait to get started.”

#b99 #b99 fic #b99 summer 2021 fic exchange #b99fandomevents #brooklyn 99 #peraltiago #amy santiago #jake peralta #rosa diaz #charles boyle #gina linetti #captain raymond holt #my writing

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typical-simplelove · 3 years ago

Text

It's the Memories - 40s Series (J. Oleksiak)

Summary: On your and Jamie's wedding anniversary, you both recount the love story you both had throughout the war.

Series Masterlist

A/n: Here's the next part! This one took a bit of time, but I hope you enjoy it! This one exists in the same universe as the Roope fic from earlier in the series (yes, I know they're both reader inserts, but oh well!) Let me know what you thought!

Warnings: Mentions of war, doctors appointments

Word Count: 9.1k

Note: Italics are flashbacks.

“You know,” Alissa, your eldest daughter states. “We don’t really know you guys’ love story. We know that you met during the war but nothing else.”

“In the spirit of celebrating your wedding anniversary, what if you shared?” Dawson, Alissa’s husband states.

You look at Jamie. “What do you think?”

“That’s a lovely idea,” Jamie says. “I guess we start at the beginning, then.”

“How did you first meet?” Clara, your granddaughter asks.

“That’s a difficult question, Clara,” Jamies says, and you begin to shake your head. “What? It is.”

“I’m confused,” Alissa says.

“Your father has a memory of meeting me before I remember meeting him,” you explain.

“Really, dad?” Alissa asks. “Mum has an amazing memory; I think she’d know if she met you before.”

“Why would I forget meeting the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“He’s making things up,” you say. “But thank you for the compliment. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met.”

“Really? Some of the soldiers in my unit were quite studs. Like, Roope? If he didn’t have a girl back home, I think I’d be slightly scared of you want him.”

“But I married you,” you remind him.

“Right, that you did.”

“Dad, why don’t you tell your version of meeting mom, and then, mom, you go,” Brandon, your son suggests.

“Jame, you go,” you tell your husband.

“Well, we were on the USS Harmon heading for England, and your mom was a Red Cross nurse.

When you signed up to be at the Red Cross, you were expecting to help in the Texas Area, not in England. However, you jumped at the chance to help the troops overseas as a nurse. That’s how you ended up on the USS Harmon. Not an easy trip, you found it incredibly difficult to be on the ship. You were incredibly seasick and were in constant need of a toilet or bag.

Tonight was no exception. One of the other Red Cross ladies said that going outside would be good for you to do to settle your stomach. Yeah, as you were standing outside, you didn’t think it was working. You were cold, and your stomach was so queasy you weren’t sure if you’d make it through the rest of the trip.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” a soldier asks.

“I mean, technically, no,” you answer.

“May I ask what’s wrong?”

“I’m quite chilly, and I’m incredibly nauseous. I’m afraid I’m going to throw up.”

“Here,” he tells you as he shrugs off his jacket. “Take my jacket; you look like you need it more than I do.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ll probably head inside soon.”

“Well, here’s a bag that I always have on me. I don’t get queasy often, so you can have my bag.”

You take the bag out of his hand. “Thank you. I’m going to head inside now. Again, thank you.”

“Of course, have a goodnight, ma’am.”

“Goodnight.”

Despite the dim moonlight, Jamie knew you were the most beautiful woman ever.

“You really thought grandma was the most beautiful woman in the world?” Clara asks.

“I did, and she still is,” Jamie answers.

“For everyone’s information, I don’t remember that,” you say. “Also, you never got my name so who are you to remember that it was me.”

“You greatly underestimate my love for you,” Jamie says.

“I don’t think so.”

“Mom, you go,” Alissa directs.

“Sure, well, we met after we’ve already landed on land.”

“Oh, thank goodness, we’ve made it,” Elizabeth says. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.”

“I was ready to hurl myself off of the boat,” you say. You were glad that you’ve landed; you weren’t sure what you’d be able to do if you had to go another day on that boat.

“Well, let’s go find the rest of the Red Cross ladies, so we can head to our base,” Clara says.

The three of you head off towards the signs that say “Red Cross”. On your way, though, you trip and fall. Luckily, though, someone catches you just before you’d hit the ground.

“Oh, thank you, sir,” you say. You look up and see the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Oh course, ma’am,” he says to you. He sets you up, and you catch a light tint of red on his cheeks. “Lieutenant Jamie Olesiak.”

“Red Cross Nurse, Yn Yln. Nice to meet you.”

A weird look crosses Jamie’s face. “Yeah, nice to meet you, too,” he says. You couldn’t quite tell what Jamie’s expression was.

“I have to go, but it was nice to meet you,” you tell him with a smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“See you around,” Jamie says and watches you walk away. There’s a soft smile resting on his face. He knew that you were going to be a vital part of his life.

“You are already so whipped for her,” Tyler says, clapping Jamie on the shoulder. “This is going to be interesting.”

That was true, Jamie was indeed quite whipped for you.

“Your dad had a weird look on his face, and I still can’t quite tell you why,” you say after recounting the story.

“I probably had a weird look on my face because I already remember meeting you,” Jamie recounts.

“Sure, sure,” you say. “I’m not saying that I met you, but you should know better than anyone that when I get sick, I get tunnel vision and forget everything.”

“So you’re telling me that there’s a chance that we’ve met?”

You smile. “There is a chance, but I guess we’ll never know.”

“Grandma, tell us about the next time you saw Grandpa again,” Clara asks eagerly.

“Well, it was at a pub about a month later,” you begin. “It was a day off for both of us, and we happened to run into each other.”

You followed Elizabeth into the hole-in-the-wall pub that she said was amazing. She went on a date the previous week at this place and ate here. She insisted that she absolutely had to take you. You both take a seat at a table and look at the menu.

“Ms. Yln?” someone says from the table to your right. You slightly swivel your head to see who it is.

“Lieutenant Oleksiak,” you say with a smile. Your simple smile was enough to set Jamie’s heart rate through the roof. How is that possible? “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Jamie says with a flirty edge in his voice.

You raise your eyebrows. “Is that so? Aren’t you smooth?”

“I have to try for a pretty girl to remember me.”

“Pretty girl, huh?” you repeat.

“That’s a bit of an understatement because you are so beautiful.”

You feel the heat rush to your face. Jamie really knew how to flatter you. You were about to say something when someone at Jamie’s table cleared his throat. “I’ll let you get back to your table and company,” you say. “It was nice to see you again.”

Jamie looks at you with a soft smile before returning back to his table.

“So, Jamie?” Elizabeth asks. “He’s cute.”

You nod.

“Maybe you should ask him out or something.”

“No, no,” you say and drop your voice. “I can’t have anything distracting me while I help nurse these soldiers back to life.”

“Why are we whispering?” Elizabeth loudly whispers. Jamie glances at you from the corner of his eyes and softly chuckles. This was why you wanted to whisper, so Jamie couldn’t hear you. Despite you finding Jamie incredibly attractive, you didn’t want to lead into his advances knowing he could distract you from your ultimate goal.

You glare at Elizabeth, and you hear Jamie chuckle again.

“Oh, that’s why we’re whispering,” Elizabeth says in a whisper this time.

You sigh and shake your head. “Let’s just eat.”

“Grandpa, did you hear their conversation?” Clara asks cheekily.

Jamie nods. “I did indeed. It pained me just a little bit knowing Grandma didn’t want to date me, but I knew she’d fall for me eventually.”

You shake your head playfully. “You never lost that cockiness, did you?”

“May I remind you that you married me and knew exactly what you were getting yourself into all those years ago?”

“That I did.”

“How long did it take for you to finally go on a date with dad?” Alissa asks.

“It took me scheming with her friends for us to finally go on a date,” Jamie answers.

“How long was that?”

“Almost a year.”

“A whole year?” everyone gasps.

“In my defense, it wasn’t like we saw each other every day. For the first twelve months, we probably only saw each other once a month.”

“Tells us about that,” Sawyer, your four-year-old grandson says.

“If you insist,” Jamie says and throws a wink. Despite being together for years and years, he still had the ability to make you flustered and bring heat to your face with just a simple wink.

July 1942

“We have boxes and supplies for the nurses,” Jamie says to the woman sitting at the front of the nurses' offices.

“Perfect,” she says. “You can just bring it to the back for Ms. Yln. She’s in the last room on the right.”

At the sound of your last name, Jamie smiles. “Yn?”

“Oh right, you’re Jamie, right?” the woman says. “Elizabeth was telling us about the soldier who’s quite keen about her.”

“Keen is an understatement,” Tyler says from behind Jamie. “We just go down the hall?”

The woman nods. “Yes, that exactly.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, but what’s your name?” Tyler asks.

“Kate,” she responds.

“Kate, I’m Tyler,” he says with a smile. “I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around,” Kate responds, and Tyler and Jamie head down the hall.

The boys walk down the hall, and Jamie knocks on the door that you’re standing in. At the sound of a knock, you turn around and lookup.

“Ms, Yln, we bring supplies,” Jamie says with a smile that ignites the butterflies in your stomach.

“That’s perfect, thank you,” you say. “You can leave them on the table over there, and I’ll put them away.”

“I’m going to head back to the truck and grab the final few boxes,” Tyler says. “You can stay here and help her begin putting them away.”

Jamie nods. He’d do anything to spend more time around you. “How can I help?” he asks.

“Just put the supplies where the labels match,” you tell him.

“That makes sense,” Jamie says in a tone that makes you giggle. Hearing you giggle, Jamie looks at you and thinks he’s fallen for your more.

After about five minutes of placing bandages and supplies away, Jamie finally decides to open his mouth to say something. “Are you doing anything this Friday?” he asks.

“Oh, I think Elizabeth wants to take me and Kate to this pub that she’s been to and that she says is amazing,” you say oblivious to the true intentions behind Jamie’s words.

“Oh,” Jamie says deflatedly. He wasn’t sure what answer he was looking for, but it wasn’t that.

“May I ask why you wanted to know?” you ask with a smile on your face looking up at Jamie.

He meets your eyes. You could give him that smile every time, and he knew you could get away with anything. (You got away with everything to this day with that smile.) “Oh, I was just asking.”

You widen your smile. “Why were you just asking?”

“No reason.”

“No reason?” you ask in a voice that Jamie knows that he can’t resist.

“I wanted to ask to see if I could take you out for dinner,” Jamie replies in a voice that was a cross between a mumble and a whisper.

“Oh,” you say; however, your voice was very low. Jamie only knew what you were saying because of the shape of your mouth. “Maybe another time?” you suggest.

Jamie’s mood does a three-sixty and smiles. “Yeah! Another time.”

You were going to say something else, but you could hear Tyler approaching the room you were currently in. “This is the last of them,” Tyler says.

You nod. “Thank you so much for this. Um, see you around?”

Jamie smiles at you. “See you around, definitely.”

August 1942

“If it isn’t the elusive Ms. Yn Yln, the Red Cross’ finest nurse,” Tyler says as he walks into the medical examination room. Once a month, the pilots had to come in for a check-up to make sure that the altitude changes weren’t causing them to get sick. Today, you were making those checkups. It also happened to be that you were going to be examining Jamie’s unit.

“How am I elusive, Mr. Seguin?” you say with a chuckle.

“You drive Jamie crazy after he sees you for all of five minutes. Your smile or laugh or whatever makes him go crazy, and then he doesn’t see you again for a while. Just when he’s about to kind of get over you, there’s an opportunity for him to see you again and make him go crazy about you again.”

“Oh.”

“He’s head over heels for you, so I’m asking you to be nice to him, please,” Tyler says.

You nod. “Let’s get started on this examination.”

You finish the examination in twenty minutes, and you deem Tyler healthy. You excuse Tyler and tell him to send in the next soldier.

“Guess who’s conducting our examinations today?” Tyler says to the men in front of him. “Yn Yln.”

Jamie blushes at the mere sound of your name.

“This the girl that Jamie is in love with?” Miro asks.

“Yup,” Tyler says, putting an emphasis on the p.

“I’m not in love with her,” Jamie grumbles with a smile on his face.

“No, no, you are,” Tyler insists. “You have the same look on your face that Roope has whenever he gets a letter from his girl back home.”

Roope was about to contradict Tyler’s comment, but you walk out before he can say anything. “Tyler, you were supposed to the next person back.”

“Yn,” Jamie says and immediately stands up.

“Jamie, you’re next?” you ask with a smile. Jamie nods enthusiastically, and you laugh in response. “Follow me.”

Jamie follows you into the examination room with a blush lining his cheeks. “I never got the chance to take you out for dinner,” he says.

You turn to face Jamie. “In my defense, I don’t really know how to reach you, but you do.”

“So, this is my fault?” Jamie says with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, just a little bit,” you say teasingly.

“Can I at least get a redo? A chance to take you out?”

You nod. “Sure, you can take me out.”

“I can’t wait,” Jamie says and flashes you a smile that makes your heart beat faster.

“Why don’t we conduct your examination first to make sure you’re healthy enough to even take me out, yeah?”

“What?” Jamie says, and his face pales. There’s a chance he might not be healthy enough?

“Don’t worry,” you say with a light chuckle. “You were able to walk in here fine, so I think you’re going to be just fine.”

“Oh,” Jamie says relieved. Turns out, he was fine. Jamie left the examination room walking on clouds knowing that he would finally get the chance to take you out.

“You’re telling me that mum didn’t go out with you the first time you asked her out?” Alissa asks.

“She did not,” Jamie answers. “Your mum strung me along thinking I had a chance with a beautiful woman.”

“I did not,” you say. “In my defense, I had a job to do, and I didn’t want it to get in the way. Also, I really didn’t have any way to contact you.”

“But, you guys are here now, so it doesn’t really matter,” Clara says. “Grandpa, continue telling

me the story.”

September 1942

It was a Sunday afternoon, and you had the day off. To take advantage of the day off and the nice weather, you, Kate, and Elizabeth decided to head into the town to go for a walk and grab dinner later that evening. You were walking on the path that was adjacent to the duck pond. The three of you were talking about the recent film Kate saw when she went on a date (not with Tyler, he also had yet to follow up on the date he wanted to have). You wanted to stop for a moment to observe the view. So you told the girls to continue ahead, and you’d catch up with them later.

“Isn’t this weird?” a deep voice says next to you. “Maybe the universe wants to tell us that we should finally go out on a date.”

You turn to the voice and smile. “Hello, Jamie.”

“Yn, how are you?”

“I’m doing well, and you?”

“Could be better, but oh well.”

“How so?” you ask.

Jamie looks at you and smiles. “You could finally let me take you out.”

“That’s what’s causing your so-called foul mood?” you tease. You were going to let him take you out one day; however, you weren’t going to go after him. You were going to stick to your proclamation that you didn’t want to get involved with anyone because it might make it difficult to do your job. You weren’t going to go out of your way to look for him, but you also weren’t going to avoid him. If Jamie happened to stop by and see you to confirm a time and place for this date, then, yes, you’d go out with him.

“It is,” he says. “You keep saying that you’ll go out with me, but we never end up going out. I wonder why that is.”

“I, for one, don’t know where to go to find you,” you say in defense.

“So, this is my fault?”

“It kind of is your fault,” Brandon says to Jamie. “From what I can tell, mom didn’t have any way to get in contact with you or see you, but you did.”

“Wow, traitors,” Jamie says feigning hurt. “Your mother did just admit it, though, that she wasn’t outright going out of her way to try to make this date happen.”

“That’s on you, mom,” Alissa says. “Dad, though, I think it’s mostly you to blame. As far as I can tell, you were holding on to each encounter with mom. On the other hand, mom was totally fine with what she could get from you.”

“See?” you say to your husband. “It kind of is your fault.”

“Just continue the story,” Sawyer whines.

“Okay, okay,” Jamie says and continues.

“I mean, I’m a very busy person, and, as I’ve said, I don’t know how or where to find you,” you say. “However, you know exactly where to find me, yet you never come to try to set up this date.”

Jamie looks at you and smiles. He knew he was falling for you hard because he immediately agreed with you. You could have said that the earth was flat (it’s not, very much round), and he’d believe you. Jamie was falling for you, hard, and he needed to figure out a way for you to either feel the same way or find a way for him to get over you. One thing that Jamie was that he wanted to marry you one day. You had the energy, spunk, and wit that he knew he wanted his future wife to have. On top of that, you were so beautiful that he didn’t have to worry about what your children would like because as long as they got your looks, they were set for life. “Well, then, how about next Friday? I’ll pick you up at the nurses’ station where you are at 6, and I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“I’d like that a lot,” you tell Jamie.

As the days got closer to Friday, your smile somehow got wider and wider. You didn’t know if it was possible, but you were floating on clouds by the time noon rolled around on Friday. You were sitting in the common area of the nurses' station on your break when Jamie walked in with a sad expression on his face. “I didn’t realize it was already 6,” you say trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, my bad,” Jamie says, but his facial expression has yet to change. “Yn, I’m sorry. We have a last-minute mission to fly tonight, and I can’t leave the base.”

“Oh,” you say softly. You look up at Jamie and see how sad he looks. You knew that you had to be positive for him so that he doesn’t get distracted as he flies tonight. “Hey, don’t worry about it.”

“Really?” Jamie says, and his eyes perk up.

“Yeah! I mean, we are in wartime, so there are going to be some hiccups of things that need to take precedent. We’ll have that date eventually, don’t worry.”

Jamie nods and a smile developed on his face. “Okay, if you’re sure. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” you tell him. So, you and Jamie weren’t going to get that date. Despite you trying to act nonchalant about him and the date, you deep down were disappointed. You knew that you shouldn’t be this disappointed, but you still were. You knew that if you didn’t stop yourself that you’d be halfway to loving him by the end of the month.

October 1942

Despite already having one date already planned, you hadn’t seen Jamie in almost a month. It seemed to be a theme between the two of you. You understood, however, that it happened. After all, you and Jamie were both working during wartime. That didn’t mean you didn’t miss him, though.

On this particular Saturday in October, Kate wanted to go to the cinema with you and Elizabeth to enjoy the last few days of warm weather. So, at 6pm, you, Elizabeth, and Kate left base and headed off to the cinema. Before going to the movie, the three of you decided to go and grab dinner first. There was a pub not far from the cinema, so that’s where the three of you went.

“I’m sorry, we currently don’t have many open tables that are clean,” the hostess says. “Do you mind waiting a few minutes?”

“Of course, no problem,” you told the hostess and went to find the other girls. You went in to try to get a table first. When you find Elizabeth and Kate, you notice that they’re talking to a group of American soldiers. Interesting, you wondered who they were.

“Yn, look who we ran into?” Kate says excitedly. You scan the group and smile. Of course. Who else would it be except for Jamie, Tyler, Esa, Roope, Miro, and Jason?

“Well, look who it is,” Tyler says. “Miss breaks Jamie’s poor heart.”

Jamie elbows Tyler in the ribs and turns to you. “Ignore him.”

“Hi, Jamie,” you say. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that by the way.”

“Don’t worry, truly. We’re both busy.”

Jamie looks at you with a curious eye. “Sure, but I feel like if we were able to have our date, then we’d be seeing each other more often.”

“Is that so?” you ask. “You could have come to me.”

Jamie laughs and shakes his head. “I guess as long as you have no way of reaching me, then it will be my fault?”

“Uh-huh,” you say with a smile.

“Whatever can I do to make it up to you?” Jamie asks.

“You can join us for dinner and head to the cinema with us,” Kate pipes in.

Jamie looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Did you want me to come?”

“If you would like, but I’m not sure if there’s going to be enough room at your table for everyone,” you say.

“Don’t worry, Kate and I will do our own thing,” Tyler says and winks at Kate.

“Why don’t I go in and see if they can accommodate all of us?” you suggest. “I’ll imply we’re going to be tipping very, very well.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jamie offers. This man was way too sweet.

“Thank you,” you tell him and lead him towards the door. “Thank you,” you say again as Jamie holds the door open for you. “Thank you,” you say once again as Jamie helps you steer through the crowds.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, you know,” Jamie says.

You feel the heat rush to your face. “Maybe then you shouldn’t keep doing things that result in me thanking you.”

“Noted,” Jamie says. He didn’t say it in any different or notable way. However, the way he said it brought warmth rushing to your face and made your heart flutter. You wanted to further contemplate these thoughts, but, thankfully, you and Jamie walked up to the hostess’s podium.

“Would it be possible to accommodate six more people?” you ask. The hostess tells you to give her a moment to check. When she returns, she tells you that it’s possible and that a table can be ready in just a few moments. “Why don’t I go out and tell the rest of our group that the table will be ready and that they should come in.”

“No, no, I don’t think so,” Jamie says protectively. “I’m not letting you go out there alone with drunk soldiers walking around this place. I’ll go.”

Your heart warms at his words. “You’re going to let me stay here by myself, then?”

Jamie looks at you. “You got me there, but no. I think it’s better here, so I’ll go get them, okay? Don’t go anywhere. Don’t move.”

You nod. “Yes, sir,” you say and mock salute. Jamie just smiles at you and shakes his head. As he’s walking away, he turns back around and glances at you. You take a small step to your left as a joke, and Jamie just widens his grin. You’d do anything to get a smile like that out of him.

He returns with the rest of the group in just a few moments, and you’re all heading to your table almost immediately. Jamie falls in step with you and leans his head down to whisper in your ear. “I thought I asked you not to move.”

You look up at the man next to you. “Sure,” you say. “May I ask why it truly matters?”

“I was worried about you,” he says softly.

You look up at him and grab his hand. You intertwine your fingers with his and squeeze his hand. “May I ask why?”

“No reason,” Jamie says, but you know there is a reason. You wanted to question why he refused to tell you the reason, but you opted that it was better to do it another time.

“Grandpa, what was the reason?” Clara asks.

Jamie looks at you. “I guess you’ll finally find out.”

“I guess I will,” you reply. “What was the reason?”

“I love you. Well, I loved you.”

“I know you love me, but why were you worried about me?”

“Because I loved you,” Jamie repeats. When he notices that you don’t quite understand what he’s referencing, he decides to explain. “I loved you and never stopped worrying about you. I didn’t want you to leave because I didn’t know if you’d disappear from my life again.”

“Why would I disappear from your life again?” you ask puzzled.

“I was in love with you, and it seemed that I only saw you once or twice a month. I didn’t like that.”

“Oh,” you say. “I hope that me taking a step about an inch to the left didn’t give you a heart attack.”

“No, but you holding my hand did,” Jamie says. “Clara, did you know that Uncle Tyler made fun of me for almost three weeks because of grandma holding my hand?”

“Really?” Clara says through giggles.

Jamie nods. “Yes, he did. Almost every day after that, I would bring it up, or I’d drift thinking about it. Uncle Tyler was ready to tease me every time.”

“It’s a good thing you guys got married, then,” Clara says.

“Why’s that?” you ask your granddaughter.

“Because you get to hold grandpa’s all the time, and it isn’t a memory anymore,” Clara says excitedly.

“Was that the reason you married grandma?” Sawyer asks. “So that you could always hold her hand?”

“That was one of the reasons, yes,” Jamie says and winks at you. “I married her because I loved her and couldn’t go a single day without her.”

“Is that why you married grandpa?” Sawyer asks you.

“I married your grandfather because I loved him more than anything in the world,” you reply.

“Do you still love him the most?”

“I do,” you say and smile at Jamie.

November 1942

To celebrate Thanksgiving, the American Red Cross was putting on a Thanksgiving dinner for the troops. On this day, you got the day off and were able to join the rest of the nurses and soldiers celebrating the holiday. You and Elizabeth made your way to the mess hall as directed and walked inside. You were both met with the smells that reminded you both of home. You began to grow sad imagining what your parents’ house must be like with all the cousins running around and the smells of the food cooking that you’d be missing.

“Well, look who it is,” Esa says. “The woman who is in love with Jamie but refuses to go on a date with him.”

“That’s not true,” you say. “We planned a date, but we had to cancel because he had a late-night flight. Speaking of Jamie, where is he?”

“Jamie? He’s outside.”

You say a brief thanks and go out to find him. You look around briefly before finding him.

“Hey,” you say quietly, not wanting to scare him. Jamie was sitting on a bench with his head between his legs. “Is everything okay?”

Jamie looks up and sees you. “Hey, yeah, I think so.”

You sit down next to him and begin stroking small circles on Jamie’s back. He never knew that such a simple touch could be so comforting. “Did you want to talk about it?”

Jamie shrugs.

“Okay, well, I’m here if you want to,” you say and continue to stroke soft patterns on Jamie’s back.

Almost five minutes pass before Jamie says something again. “I never realized how much I miss my family. Obviously, I know that I miss my family and stuff because obviously, I’m on the other side of the ocean. I never really got homesick at first, but the holidays are making me realize how much I miss everyone.”

You nod. You understand where he was coming from. Just the other day, you got a letter from your mother about how your sister was pregnant. Pregnant! You never realized how much you were missing. “Anything I can do?”

Jamie looks at you and smiles. “Let me take you on a date?”

You begin to giggle. “Really? Wow, you’re really using your moment of weakness to egg that on me, aren’t you.”

“I mean, I really like you, so it shouldn’t matter,” Jamie says. “Though, if me being in a moment of weakness means that you’d let me take you out, then yes.”

You shake your head playfully. “I’m all for you taking me out.”

“Then, why haven’t I taken you out?”

“You were going to, but then you had a night flight to make. We just haven’t found a time that works recently.”

“How about before Christmas?” Jamie proposes.

“I can do that,” you say with a smile. Would this be the time you finally got a date?

December 1942

“Knock, knock,” Jamie says as he knocks on the door in the examination room you were in.

You turn your head to the noise and smile widely when you see that it’s Jamie. “Jamie.”

“Yn.”

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you ask.

“I have something for you,” Jamie tells you. “It’s a holiday present.”

“Holiday present?” you ask curiously.

Jamie blushes. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you celebrated Christmas or anything, but I wanted to give you a present anyway. So, I’m calling it a holiday present.”

“I didn’t get you anything, though.”

Jamie looks at you, and he thinks he falls more in love. “It’s not a gift exchange, yn. It’s a gift for you from my heart.”

“From your heart?” you say teasingly, and Jamie blushes further. “I’m kidding, don’t worry.”

“Here,” he hands you a red bag. “Open it.”

You take the bag out of his hand, and your fingers brush his ever so slightly. At the touch, you feel the heat rise to your face. Your next immediate thought is “what would it be like to hold Jamie’s hand entirely?”

“I think you’ll like it,” Jamie whispers. He’s quite flustered after the little touch you both just experienced.

You nod unable to meet Jamie’s eyes. The effect he had on you was indescribable. You take the wrapping paper out of the bag and peer into it. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you just open it?” Jamie suggests.

“Or, you could just tell me,” you say flirtily.

“Or, you could just open it.”

“I’ll open it,” you say. You take out the box and open it. Inside is a delicate, simple necklace with your initials on it. “Jamie, you gasp.”

“Do you like it?” he asks eagerly.

“It’s beautiful; I love it,” you tell him with a look of hesitation in your eyes. Could you accept a gift like this?

“I thought you would, but I can also see the hesitation in your eyes. Yn, please, take the gift.”

“Thank you, Jamie, it’s beautiful. Can you help me put it on?” The minute the words come out of your mouth, you want to take them back. If he said yes, then that’d mean Jamie would be touching you. That also meant that you’d probably fall even harder for him.

“Sure,” he tells you. You take the necklace out of the box it’s in and hand it to him. You turn around and adjust your collar and hair so that Jamie has easy access to place the necklace on. He lifts his hands above your head, and you feel the cold of the necklace hit your chest softly. You’re standing there for a few moments as you feel Jamie fiddle with the clasp of the necklace behind you. When finished, Jamie readjusts your collar and tells you he’s finished softly.

“Thank you,” you tell him. You’re barely meeting his eye. Why would you? You just had an extremely intimate moment with someone you’re falling in love with. The heat is radiating off your face, and you’re pretty sure Jamie’s face is a deep crimson, too.

“Of course,” he tells you in a whisper. “It looks beautiful on you.”

You smile at him. “Thank you.”

All of a sudden, Jamie takes a step closer to you, and you do the same. He puts his hand on your waist and begins to lean down. Was he going to kiss you? Was Jamie Oleksiak going to kiss you? Just as he’s getting close to your lips, he’s interrupted by Tyler yelling from the hall.

“Big Rig! We have to go,” Tyler yells. You and Jamie jump apart from each other, and you’re both barely able to meet each other’s eyes. “Woah, dude, why’s your face so red.”

“No reason,” Jamie mumbles and then turns to you. “I’ll see you around?”

You nod. “Thank you so much for the gift. I’ll have to be sure to get you something.”

Jamie smiles at you. “Let me take you out. That’ll be enough.”

“It’s a date!”

“Do you still have the necklace?” Sawyer asks.

“I do still have the necklace,” you answer. You pull the necklace from where it’s sitting around your neck to show your grandson. “And, I still wear it every day.”

“I’ve gotten your grandmother many, many necklaces over the years, but I love that one the most,” Jamie says.

“It’s really pretty, grandma,” Clara says.

“Just like grandma,” Jamie flirts with a wink. Despite the both of you getting quite old, Jamie never hesitates to flirt with you. You smile at your husband as your grandchildren and children moan and throw out a few “ew”s and “yuck”s. You didn’t care. You were in love with your husband and didn’t care who knew.

January 1943

Despite Jamie saying that all you had to do was let him take you out, you still wanted to get him something. In the past month since he gave you the necklace, you had yet to take it off. You also had yet to see him, so it only made sense that it was okay that you haven’t gone out with him. You were still reeling from the memory of Jamie’s hands on your waist and him so close to you. Every time you think of the memory, your face would grow warm and a giant smile would erupt on your face. You only hoped that you’d get to have these moments in person than always in your head.

You spent any and all free time daydreaming about Jamie. You thought about when you’d finally be able to go out with him and have a cute date. You couldn’t wait for it. In the meantime, though, you still were trying to figure out what to get him as a holiday gift.

On a Saturday off, you opted to go into the town to try to find a gift for Jamie. Kate and Elizabeth were both busy, so you’d be on your own. You got off the bus and walked around the main street trying to find a cute shop from which you could shop from. You find one and walk inside. Looking around, you notice that you’d probably be able to find exactly what you would need for Jamie.

You once recall that the soldiers were complaining that the rain was making it incredibly cold in the barracks. You figured that Jamie was in a similar situation, so you decided you were going to try to find a blanket for him to use while he slept. It wasn’t as expensive or nice as the necklace he got you, but it was the thought that counted, right?

You try to find someone who works at the shop to ask if they had what you were looking for. For about twenty minutes, you’re talking with the shopkeeper and find what you’re looking for. You find a green blanket with a white star in each corner. You weren’t sure what each star was meant for, but you figured it probably wasn’t too big a deal. You also opted to buy him a small pocket notebook he can put in the breast pocket of his uniform. You walked out of the store thirty minutes after you walked in and went looking for somewhere to have lunch.

“Yn?” you hear from behind you. Of course, of course, you happened to run into these boys.

“Hey, Tyler,” you say to the man. “Day off?”

“Indeed,” Tyler replies. “Don’t worry, Jamie is just around the corner.”

“I wasn’t --”

“Doesn’t matter, we know how crazy he is for you, so we only hope you’re just as crazy for him,” Roope says.

“Oh, um --”

“Why are we stopping here?” Jamie asks obliviously.

“Guess who we ran into?” Esa teases.

“Who?” Jamie asks, not noticing that you’re standing right there.

“Hey, Jamie,” you say softly.

Jamie’s face turns a blush pink at hearing your voice and looks at you. “Oh! Yn, I didn’t see you there.”

You laugh. “Don’t worry.”

“Why are you in town today?” he asks.

“I had a day off, so I decided to go shopping. Actually, I bought you a holiday gift.”

Jamie frowns. Does this mean that you aren’t going to let him take you out? “Oh.”

You look at him weirdly not sure why he’s acting the way he is. “Here,” you say and hand him the bag.

He takes the bag out of your hand and looks inside. He takes the blanket out and smiles. “A blanket? How did you know this was what I needed?”

“Some of the other soldiers were complaining, so I figured that you’d need one too,” you tell him, and the heat rises to your face.

“Meet us at the restaurant around the corner, okay?” Denis says. “We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone for the time being.”

There wasn’t any room for argument as the group walked away leaving you and Jamie alone.

“I hope it’s warm enough for you.”

“I’ll constantly be warmed at the thought that you bought something for me,” Jamie flirts.

“Oh, yeah?” you say with a raised eyebrow. “Who knew you were so smooth?”

“Every girl I’ve ever gone out with,” Jamie says confidently.

“Oh,” you say sadly. So, he just wants to take you on one date and that’s it?

“That’s a lie,” he corrects. “You’re the only one, yet I still haven’t taken you out yet.”

“Oh,” you say a bit more chipper.

“Because you got me a gift, does that mean I can’t take you out?”

You look at him with a smile. “You can take me out whether or not I got you a gift.”

“I have to join the boys for lunch, but do you want to join us?” Jamie asks nervously.

“Is this you taking me out?” you tease.

“No, I--”

“I’m only teasing. I’d love to join you guys,” you take Jamie’s hand, and he leads you towards the restaurant. Your shopping accomplished exactly what you wanted to get done, and you happened to leave that day with much more. Another fond memory of and with Jamie.

February 1943

“Let’s go over the plan one more time,” Kate says.

“I don’t even know why we need a plan,” you tell them. The plan? The attempt to get you and Jamie together at the Valentine’s Day Dance that night. The Officer’s Club was throwing a Valentine’s Day Dance for the soldiers and nurses to try to give the soldiers something to look forward to. The past month has been hopeful in the war effort with it being possible that it could be over soon. To celebrate, a Valentine’s Day Dance was being thrown.

“We need a plan because the two of you won’t ever get together unless we throw you two together,” Elizabeth says.

You shake your head. “I still don’t think we need a plan.”

“Too bad,” Kate says. “We have a plan. Elizabeth? Please go over it again.”

“Kate and I are going to coordinate with Tyler and Miro to put you and Jamie together as much as possible,” Elizabeth explains. “We are going to ask that they play a slow song so that Jamie will definitely ask you to dance because he is that kind of gentleman after all.”

“But, what if --” you try to say.

“No, we refuse to take any possible worst-case scenarios,” Kate interjects. “It’s not happening. Just enjoy the night and try to finally be with him, so you can both get together finally.”

You nod. “Okay, we’ll get there.”

. . .

The three of you walk into the Officer’s Club, and you’re met with an exorbitant amount of Valentine’s Day decorations. It was truly beautiful, and you felt that the worries of the war slowly drift away. You three walk to find your friends (mostly they want to put their plan into action as soon as possible).

“Hey guys,” Elizabeth says as you walk up to the group. You scan the group and see Tyler, Roope, Esa, Miro, John, and Denis, but you didn’t see Jamie anywhere. Maybe he was getting a drink?

“Hey, ladies,” Tyler says. “Don’t you three look beautiful.”

You all smile in thanks and compliment the boys back to him. You wanted to ask about where Jamie was, but you didn’t want to seem obvious. Thankfully, though, Kate says something for you.

“Where’s Jamie? We need him here, so he and Yn can finally get together.”

“He’s sick,” Roope answers.

“What?” you ask worriedly.

“Yeah, he caught a cold, so he’s staying in tonight. He didn’t want to get anyone else sick or get worse.”

“I hope he’s okay,” you say with a tinge of concern.

“He’s a big boy; he’ll be okay,” Tyler answers. “Although, you can go and see him. I’m sure he’ll love to see you. Our barracks are just a minute walk away.”

Your ears perk up. “Should I? I wouldn’t want him to be alone tonight.”

“Yes, yes, go,” Kate urges.

“I’ll walk you over to see him,” Roope offers. “Despite how close it is, you shouldn’t walk over alone.”

“Thank you, Roope,” you say, and you both head out. As you’re walking, you begin making conversation with him. “How’s your girlfriend back home?”

Despite the dark sky, you know that Roope has blushed. He always does when talking about his girlfriend back home. He’s so in love with her that it’s sickening but also cute. “She’s great. I got a letter from her the other day.”

“Do you miss her?”

“More than anyone or anything in the world.”

Your heart softens at Roope’s words. “You’ll be back home soon to see her; I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so,” Roope says with a sigh. “Here we are.”

“Thank you for walking me,” you say.

“Of course, just try to get him to walk you back, or wait for someone else to leave for the night to walk you back. If you’re not back in a few hours, I’ll come to make sure you’re good, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” you say.

“That’s what Jamie would want for the girl he loves.”

“What?”

Roope looks at you, and his eyes go wide at his mistake. “Nothing, enjoy seeing him.”

Jamie loves you?

You knock on the door and hear someone mumble a “come in”.

“Hey, Jamie,” you say as you walk in.

“Yn?” he asks.

You laugh. “Hey, some of the boys mentioned that you were sick, so I thought I’d come to see you.”

“But I’m sick,” Jamie pouts.

“That’s what I just said,” you said comically.

“Oh.”

“Can I do anything?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I think I’m okay. Just hang out?”

“That I can do,” you say. You ended up staying that night for about two and a half hours until Roope came back. Jamie ended up falling asleep almost half an hour in. You wanted to leave, but you knew that Roope and Jamie would be disappointed in you. You watched Jamie sleep for a bit (in a noncreepy way). There was something very calming about the way he slept. There was something that warms your heart the way he bundled into the blanket you bought him. Just the mere thought and sight of Jamie warmed your heart. Maybe you loved him, too.

July 1943

Jamie couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep running into you and falling for you. For the past four months, you and Jamie have randomly run into each other, but each time, Jamie wishes he finally got an actual date to go on a date with you. Every interaction fueled the fire and love in his eyes that kept him going. Every interaction fueled his love for you. Jamie knew you were the most beautiful woman ever. Jamie knew, now, though, that you were the only person for him. Jamie knew that he was going to marry you one day. He tried seeing you and expressing how he feels through chance, but now he was going to get help.

Jamie walks into the Nurses Station in search of Kate or Elizabeth.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Oleksiak, let me go get Yn,” Kate says teasingly as she sees Jamie walk inside.

“Actually,” Jamie stops. “I need your help.

“What for?”

“I keep leaving Yn and me seeing each other to chance, and I’m ridiculously in love with her,” Jamie explains. “I need your help to ensure that I can finally take Yn on a date.”

Kate nods with a giant smile on her face. “Let me help in any way I can.”

. . .

“Don’t forget,” Kate reminds. “We’re going to dinner at that nice restaurant tonight, so dress up nicely.”

You roll your eyes. “I know; you’ve only mentioned it a million times in the past four days.” You, Kate, and Elizabeth were going to a nice restaurant in town to celebrate. Celebrate what? You weren’t quite sure, but you weren’t going to pass up an opportunity to get dressed up.

You get off your shift at 5 that night, and you head to your barrack to get changed. You had a dark green dress that you bought recently but had yet to wear. You style your hair nicely into a ‘do that you know makes you look your best. You adjust the necklace Jamie got you so that the clasp was sitting at the back of your neck. At 5:50, you’re walking back to the Nurses Station to meet the girls. That’s where they decided to meet.

When you show up outside the Nurses Station, you don’t see anyone waiting outside, and most of the lights are off. You couldn’t recall if you were supposed to meet inside or outside, so you went inside knowing that it’d be more comfortable. You walk inside. Instead of seeing Kate and Elizabeth inside, you see Jamie standing there in his Army dress navy blues looking handsomely dashing. He looks almost like a prince.

“Oh, Jamie!” you say surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, yn,” Jamie says as his eyes admire your appearance. “You look so beautiful.”

The heat rushes to your face from being under Jamie’s gaze and his compliment. “Thank you, but you haven’t answered my question.”

“Oh, you look stunning,” Jamie says again. He couldn’t find the words to talk to you because you were so beautiful. Imagine how beautiful you’d look on your wedding day? Jamie, get ahold of yourself, Jamie thinks to himself. You need to take her on a date before you can propose to her.

“Thank you, Jamie; you look quite nice in your dress blues. However, what are you doing here? I’m supposed to be meeting Kate and Elizabeth for dinner tonight.”

“No, you’re not,” Kate says from behind Jamie. Where did she come from?

“You’re having dinner with Jamie instead,” Elizabeth says and emerges from her hiding place.

“Wait, but I thought --” you begin.

“I need help to get us together to go on a date because every time I brought it up, it never happened. I was tired of just seeing you about once a month,” Jamie explains.

You nod. “So you guys worked to get me here?”

Jamie nods.

“Why?” you ask curiously.

Jamie throws a deep chuckle your way and walks towards you. “Is it not obvious, Yn? I am so incredibly in love with you that I can’t keep doing whatever this is. Yn, I need you in my life, and I need you as more than a friend.”

“Well,” you begin after Jamie’s confession. “I’m incredibly in love with you, too, and I want all of that, too.”

Jamie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Oh, thank goodness. Does this mean I can take you out for dinner now?”

You giggle. “Yes, you can.”

Kate clears her throat from behind the two of you. “Flowers?” she asks, reminding Jamie.

Jamie mentally smacks his head. “Right,” he says and takes the flowers from Kate. “These are for you.”

You smile at Jamie’s bashfulness and giggle. “Thank you, Jamie.” You take the flowers from Jamie and lean in to smell them. “They’re beautiful.”

“But not as much as you,” Jamie flirts.

“Okay, you flirt,” you laugh. “Ready to take me out?”

“I’ve been ready for a while,” Jamie says and extends his hand for you to take.

“Be good, you two!” Elizabeth calls out as you both walk out.

As Jamie leads you to the bus, he leans down and places a kiss on your forehead. “You look beautiful.”

You smile at him. “You told me that already.”

“I’m going to keep telling you that for the rest of my life.”

“Thinking about forever already?” you say with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I do plan on marrying you,” Jamie tells you.

“I could be okay with that,” you tell him with a smile. Yeah, you wouldn’t mind marrying Jamie and spending the rest of your life with him.

Present Day

“That’s beautiful,” Alissa says.

“Did you really know you were going to marry grandma?” Clara asks her grandfather excitedly.

Jamie looks at you with a smile. “I did know that I was going to marry grandma. I knew she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and I knew that I was going to marry her the minute I met her.”

“You did?” Sawyer asks.

“I did,” Jamie reiterates. “My life is split into two -- before I met her and after I met her.”

“Which one’s better?” Clara asks excitedly.

“After I met her,” Jamie answers. He puts his hand in yours and looks at you with the most loving eyes. “Every day, I’m living my dream. I love you, Yn.”

You smile at your husband. “I love you, too, Jamie.”

Jamie gets up from his chair and walks over to you. He bends down and groans slightly at his back pains that have come from old age. He kisses you softly. The love in the kiss hasn’t wavered since day one; it’s only grown. You never once doubted his love for you, and he never doubted yours.

Meeting after docking in England (or maybe on that ship, depends on who’s telling the story) was what set your life in motion. You could never imagine a life without Jamie. After all these years, the love you have? It’s in the memories that you’ve shared and will continue to create.

Taglist: @goalision @coffee-ontherocks @glassdanse @barzal-burakovsky @boqvistsbabe @heatherawoowoo @heaveniish @stars-canucks @tkapuckit @mellany1997 @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @heybarzy @2manytabsopen @habsfan @besthockeyfics @plds2000 @kaitieskidmore1 @iwantahockeyhimbo @tysonsjosty @barzysandmarnersbitch @ollywahlygator @leafs-forever @laurenairay @no-pucks-given @sixmapleleafs @davopuck @thebestoffanfiction @islesnucks (Join my taglist here!)

#Jamie oleksiak #Jamie oleksiak imagine #Jamie oleksiak fic #jamie oleksiak x reader #nhl fic #nhl writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars x reader #claudia writes

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mymelodyheart · 4 years ago

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Miles Between Us Chapter 1 ~Stories She Wrote~

PICTURE SOURCE

PART 2 OF WONDERWALL SERIES

Hey guys, I'm back and thrilled to give you part 2 of WONDERWALL series, Miles Between Us. It is a continuation from my holiday ficlet, All I Want For Christmas Is You. If you haven't read the first part, I suggest you do if you wish to get an insight into Jamie and Claire’s history (Here is the link) Otherwise, this ficlet can also be read as a stand-alone.

I know All I Want For Christmas Is You ending was bittersweet, but it had to be done. Otherwise, there wouldn't have been a Part 2 in this series. I had to leave the story open to possibilities if it is to have a chance of growing. And besides, making this into a series allows me to take breaks from writing and refresh my brain in-between ficlets. So I hope this next part of the story will make up for leaving you hanging all these weeks.

Anyway, before you continue, I'd like to thank you for reading, commenting and giving feedback to my stories. They're all very appreciated even if I sometimes don't comment back. As a hobby writer, I always look forward to your response, and they spur me to continue writing. Without the readers, I wouldn't be here. So thank you for being part of my writing journey.

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

So now everything is said, without further ado, I wish you all happy reading. ❤️

Previously ...

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp and James Fraser met and fell in love during the Holiday Seasons. Unfortunately for their budding relationship, after two weeks of a whirlwind romance, Claire has to return to London to finish some work commitment that could take a year to fulfil. It doesn't help matters that Jamie's PTSD condition prevents him from visiting her as loud city noises can trigger panic attacks. They are both in love with each other and are willing to find out where their relationship will head to. But can they find a compromise to bridge the gap of hundreds of miles to give their love a chance?

After sitting on her bed most of Saturday working on her laptop, Claire Beauchamp rolled her neck and stretched her back, her arms extending above her head. She flinched when her joints cracked.

Over the past few days, her boss, John Grey, forwarded manuscripts and drafts from the author she was working with. She hadn't eaten anything all day, and her stomach was beginning to grumble, and her eyes blurry from reading.

She'd read so much in the past hours, she was practically cross-eyed, and the bridge of her nose hurt where her specs rested. Words upon words had sifted through her brain, but now the lines were beginning to blur together.

She glanced back down on her laptop and opened a file in her document folder, her eyes scanning through lines she knew by heart. She'd been going through her own work lately wondering if she had what it takes to be a writer. Someone who would give her an honest opinion ought to read it before contemplating getting herself a literary agent if she was to start a new chapter of her life and take that leap of faith in her dream career.

A sudden urgency took over, and she needed Annalise to read her work, like right now. Which reminded Claire, her friend was away with Willie, shopping and sight-seeing. He was staying over their place for the weekend for the first time since she and Annalise left Lallybroch. After declining their invitation to join them earlier, the loved-up couple left her to her work with the promise of dinner when they returned.

She was about to reach out for her cold coffee from the bedside table when Raiders of the Lost Ark's theme song blared from her phone. At the same time, a picture of her uncle Lamb appeared on the screen. He was wearing a high-crowned, wide-brimmed, weather-beaten fedora hat and had a lopsided grin plastered to his thickly stubbled face. Rugged, she thought, just like her favourite pair of distressed leather boots, and very Indiana Jones.

Smiling, she tapped the answer button and put the phone on speaker. "Uncle Lamb! Long time no speak!"

"Sweetheart," he started in a deep familiar voice, "how are you?"

She frowned and pushed her laptop aside. Something was off. "Oh you know, same old ...just finishing work and ..."

"On a Saturday?" he asked, cutting her off.

"Look who's talking."

He chuckled. "You're young. You should be out. There are so many things to do in London ...especially on a Saturday. "

Claire rolled her eyes but opted to change the subject instead. She wasn't ready to give her reason for working overtime nor share her future plans nor talk about the handsome Scot she met during her holidays. Not just yet, anyway. "So ...to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice, dear uncle?"

"What?" he said gruffly, pretending to sound offended. "Can't I call my favourite girl in the world and check up on her?"

She mentally sighed. Something must be up since her uncle never called. It was always she who usually phoned, and when he did call on a rare occasion, it was either because something had happened or he was in London. She dismissed the latter since she knew he was in Papua New Guinea. The next conclusion she landed on was his health but thought it absurd. Her uncle was strong as an ox, ate healthily, only smoked the occasional cigar and regularly went for doctor's check-up, a requirement in his job as an archaeologist travelling to remote places.

Unless. "You sound suspiciously chipper. Let me guess ...you met someone. There's a woman in your life."

He coughed like he was choking on a drink. "No! Why would you say that?"

Alright, he sounded repulsed by the idea enough. Or was that denial? "I don't know. You seem so ...how shall I say it ...unlike yourself. You normally skip the niceties and get to the point."

He lets out an impatient breath. "Claire, darling, am I really that awful?"

"No," she replied, ignoring the ache in her throat. She missed their time together but tried not to make it apparent in her tone. He was a busy man, and the last thing she wanted was her uncle worrying. "You don't seem like you're rushing off to anywhere. It's rare you sound this relax."

"It's way past my bedtime already," he sighed. "And besides, work is on stand-by at the moment until we get the license to start digging on site. People here are so damn laid back, and nobody seems to be in a hurry to process the paperwork. I'm not about to hand out cash to speed things along even if bribery is rampant here."

"I see. So you're in Port Moresby then?"

"Yes. As soon as we have the license sorted out, we'll be flying to Lae first thing tomorrow. Hopefully, anyway." He cleared his throat. "Speaking of paperwork, I received an email from my lawyer. Your trust fund has matured, dear. I'll send you the details where to go to and who to contact, and maybe you can start planning your life. Perhaps take a sabbatical and travel with me if you wish."

Ah yes, the trust fund.

After her parents died, everything they had owned was put into her trust fund by her uncle to secure her future. She'd already received a small lump sum when she turned eighteen, and the money had afforded her, though small and cramped, a decent rental two-bedroom apartment in London with high windows, which was premium in this expensive city. And Annalise, her best friend and roommate made enough money to help pay the ridiculous expensive utility bills. Her own wage just about covered the other expenses with almost nought left for savings, but she hadn't worried knowing there was money in place in her name. She was counting on it to support herself when she pursued her dreams of writing.

"About that, I think I'll let that sit in the bank for a while. It's not like I need the money right now, nor do I have the time to spend it."

"As you wish," her uncle replied. "And another thing I need to discuss with you ...South Lodge ..."

"What about South Lodge?" South Lodge should have been her family home if her parents hadn't died, and she knew it was a highly coveted property because of its historical significance. It was never put into the market for sale since her uncle thought it wasn't his place to decide. It was put on a twenty-year lease to a high profile politician, its payments going towards her trust fund.

"The lease is up, and the occupants will be moving out soon. Unfortunately for you, that information made it to the local news and you were mentioned as the legatee. So don't be surprised if you're bombarded with offers now that your name is out. I'm willing to bet, property investors and developers will be itching to get their hands on it."

Claire took off her specs and pinched the bridge of her nose. God, she hated adulting, paperwork and dealings with lawyers. Maybe she should just sell South Lodge and be done with it, so she could concentrate on her future plans. What do I need a five-bedroom house with one acre of garden in Oxford for? "I'll think about it, uncle. I just have a lot of things going on at the moment. I'm quite sure those things can wait."

"Of course dear."

"Thank you for letting me know." She thought of Jamie, and the Highlands and how much life was a lot simpler there. She really needed to double her effort to tie up loose ends in London and have a heart to heart talk with Annalise. Is her relationship with Willie serious? If not, her friend would have to eventually find a new roommate. After quickly glancing at her bedside clock, she realised they would be here soon and hopefully with a takeaway. Annalise did mention something about sorting dinner out tonight.

"And Claire?"

"Yes?"

"Your upbringing hasn't been the most ideal. Enjoy the money and treat yourself. Don't spend your life doing things that don't bring you joy."

She smiled. Her uncle must have had a rude awakening of some sort to sound so philosophical. Or probably, he did meet someone special. Either way, she wasn't going to push for any answers for now. She really needed to get out of bed, do a few stretches and have a shower before Annalise, and Willie arrived. "I'll try," she finally said.

"Good. I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing."

"Sadly, yes." She shut her laptop and got out of bed. "Take care of yourself, alright? And I'll phone you sometime next week after I've figured out our time differences."

"Absolutely, sweetheart. Talk soon."

"Love you, uncle Lamb."

"Love you, too."

She terminated the call with a swipe on her screen and rubbed her eyes. She'd been working for seven hours straight, and her eyeballs felt like they're made of sandpaper. Glancing at the corner table, she smiled when she saw Jamie's gifts. Willie had brought them with him when he arrived last night from Inverness. She knew Jamie was making up for his absence, but it couldn't be helped when there's the danger of his PTSD condition worsening in the city. To her delight and surprise, he'd sent her a leather-bound journal, a framed selfie photo of them together, driftwood bookends he made and a box of her favourite Lindt chocolate.

With a contented sigh, she made a mental note to call Jamie after dinner. And to ask her boss first thing Monday morning if she could take her work to Scotland the following weekend to surprise her boyfriend. After all, she was just taking her uncle's advice, and after the work, she'd put in the last couple of weeks, and the extra hours she planned to do the next few days, she deserved a little joy in her life.

..........

Claire leaned forward, and nervously examined her best friend's face. Annalise was hunched down, scrolling her laptop, tongue darting out as she read the paragraphs on the screen.

What's that look for? Doesn't she like it? She couldn't tell. It was the first time she's showing her work to anyone, one of the stories she had written during her spare time before embarking a career as an editorial assistant for Dreamcatcher Publishing Company. She needed to hear her friend's opinion to know if she even had a small chance of becoming a writer.

Annalise took her sweet time, and Claire wasn't sure if her inscrutable expression was a deliberate act to prolong the suspense, or if she genuinely had no reaction to what she's reading. If it was the latter, Claire would definitely kiss her dream of being a writer goodbye. If it's the former, she's going to strangle her friend for making her suffer.

She heard the door to the apartment open and close, followed by the sound of keys jangling and heavy footfalls, announcing the arrival of Willie. He'd stopped by to order some food at a local Indian takeaway while Annalise headed straight home to prepare the table for dinner. Instead of calling out to him, she held her breath for Annalise's response.

Just when Claire was starting to accept her hope of being a writer would never amount to anything other than a pipe dream, she saw the reaction she impatiently waited for. Annalise's mouth formed a comical O, followed by her eyes' widening and random shallow sighs.

Yessssssss!

This was massive. Despite Annalise having seen works from established authors Claire had edited for, she'd never witnessed her friend looked this excited. Annalise simply couldn't hide her gobsmacked expression, even if she tried.

"Oh, dear Lord," she whispered, her gaze flicking to Claire and then back to the screen. "Why didn't you tell me you had this? I knew you wanted to be a writer, but this ..."

"So?"

Annalise took a massive deep breath, her fingers almost shaking. "Oh my God, Claire."

"Oh my God, wot? Oh my God good or oh my God, bad?" Claire asked, even though she already knew deep in her bones, what the answer was. But she desperately needed to hear the words.

"This is bloody good," she said, as she went back to a previous page, and reread it all over again. After a couple of minutes more, a slow smile started to spread across her face, as she stole a few cheeky glances over at Claire.

Claire knew she could rely on her friend to tell her the truth. If her work had been bad, friend or not, Annalise would have been forthright and told her the hard facts. Nevertheless, she tamped down her own growing excitement. "The question is though ...is it good enough for the mass?"

Without hesitation, Annalise nodded vigorously, her blue eyes big as saucers. "Oh, Claire, are you kidding me? You really have no idea, have you? Of course, it is! I need to read the rest. Please tell me it's finished."

Claire relaxed for the first time and slumped back against the headboard of her bed, relief soothing her wild heartbeat. "It's finished."

Annalise let out a whoop as she gripped the laptop tightly. "Oh my God! Give me everything ...I won't be able to sleep tonight if I don't read at least one more chapter of this story."

"I've got ten more finished materials."

"Oh my God, oh my God! You're killing me. I want it all."

Willie poked his head by the frame of the doorway to her bedroom and eyed them suspiciously. She wasn't sure what he expected to find, but his eyes narrowed when he saw Annalise's flushed face.

"What are ye both up to?" he asked, frowning. "Ye sound like ye're looking at porn on the internet."

Annalise grinned and motioned him over. "Sort of."

Willie hesitantly entered the room. "Sorry?"

"In actual fact, much better than porn ..." Annalise announced, smirking at Claire.

"Annalise!" Claire wheezed when it dawned on her, her friend must have been reading the sex scene part.

Annalise reached out and reassuringly squeezed Claire's hand whilst looking at Willie. "Take a look at this. Claire wrote it."

Annalise handed the laptop to Willie, and both of them earnestly watched his face to gauge his reaction. As he sat down on the edge of the bed and read, Claire knew he would be the real test. Willie being a bloke, she didn't expect him to have the same reaction as Annalise, but she hoped he would appreciate the storyline and plot. Claire already understood, if her story was going to be good enough to be published, its success would be based on women's purchasing power. If he liked her style of writing even a smidgen, then she would be laughing.

Claire held her breath in anxious anticipation, and approximately a minute and a half later, she got her response.

His eyes bulged out, and then the tips of his ears glowed with red. In all sort of ways, he was so similar to Jamie but yet so different. But there's no mistaking how vibrantly their ears always lit up when they're embarrassed. Or moved.

"Kind of explicit," he commented hoarsely, before tucking a tongue into his cheek as if trying to find the right words to say. "But it is an intriguing story with great flow and interesting characters. It's no' the genre I would typically read, but the first few paragraphs of what I've seen so far are riveting. It makes me want to read more."

Annalise, enthusiastically nodded in agreement and waved a hand in the air. "There it is."

"Ye have a gift, Claire," Willie added, eyes still fixed on the screen and working overtime as his focus became more intense. "The dose of mystery ye've woven into the lines is remarkable and intelligent."

She felt herself beaming in vindication. "Thank you."

He briefly glanced up at her. "Now that I remember, Jamie did vaguely mention ye wanted to be a writer."

"That's the plan," she beamed.

"Good. Because if ye can produce something like this, then yer talent is wasted on editing other people's work."

"She's got ten more finished stories," Annalise piped in.

Willie arched an eyebrow at Claire and continued reading, and when he finished, he shook his head and let out a low whistle. "Is Jamie the inspiration for this story?"

Her face heated. "I ...ah ...wrote that years ago. And ...um, I've revised and edited it a million times in the past. I wanted Annalise to read it first and find out if it's good enough to be published."

Annalise grinned at Willie, still looking a little flush like she was having a physical reaction to the few lines she'd read earlier. "So what do you think?"

Willie didn't miss Annalise's excited reaction to the story. "It's verra good but I didnae realised graphic scenes affected ye so much. Ye're beet red!"

"Only when it's very well written," Annalise smirked, taking the laptop from his hands and moving towards him to sit on his lap.

Willie pulled Annalise closer and kissed her, and Claire sighed. It's both beautiful and terrible being in the presence of people, so in love. While she's ecstatic to see her best friend smitten and happy, it made her sad that Jamie couldn't be here with her. She missed him terribly, and it's only been a fortnight since she had last seen him.

After a few seconds of watching them unashamedly snogged in front of her, Claire clapped her hands, and they both immediately pulled away. "Right, that's enough you two. So, where's the dinner I was promised?"

Suddenly looking self-conscious, Willie promptly lifted Annalise from his lap, plonked her down onto the bed and jumped up, and Claire couldn't help but grin at him.

"Right on it," he muttered, before disappearing from her bedroom.

Annalise laughed and playfully shoved her shoulder. "Passion killer."

Claire ignored the jest. "So you really think I should publish my story?"

Her friend nodded excitedly. "Absolutely! You should have let me read it sooner. From what I've seen so far, you have good, solid material, and I'm convinced, when I read the rest, it will not disappoint." She stood up and smiled. "Come on, in as much as I'm all fired up after reading your story, I'm famished." She got up and left the room.

Instead of moving from her position, Claire stared at her work for a few seconds and just breathed. Although Willie and Annalise were sincere with their praises, she couldn't help but still feel nervous. This next step in her life could either turn out to be huge, or it could get her mocked out of a dream career she loved.

Pushing aside her doubts and thinking of Jamie, she quickly compressed a copy of her story's file and sent it to him via email to read, hoping he would like her written work too. Who knew, maybe, after reading it, he would be as fired up as Willie and Annalise.

After hearing the whoosh of the email sent, Claire launched herself off the bed to join her friends, looking forward to Jamie's reaction later and daydreaming of a future in Scotland with her love.

#melodyheart #wonderwall #milesbetweenus #Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser #outlanderfanfic

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eberles · 4 years ago

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Memories

Jamie Oleksiak

Request: Hello!:) Can you write something (super) sad with Jamie Oleksiak? I don’t have a specific idea in my mind so I’d like to leave it up to you completely if that’s okay 💕

A/N: officially the longest thing i’ve ever written coming in at 5300 words!! based this fic off of The Vow, so it’s sad but not like sad sad. i hope you enjoy it i feel like this is one of my best works so hopefully you guys think so too! 🥰 italics = flashback

Warnings: angst, sad, mentions of car accidents & hospitals

Every Friday you and Jamie had a date night, it was the one night a week the two of you could wind down with each other and you never missed it unless Jamie was on a roadie. This Friday you guys went to your favorite restaurant and saw a movie after, the movie was some stupid romantic comedy and in all it’s cheesy glory it had the two of you laughing all the way to the car after the movie. It was a fairly hot night in Dallas, both you and Jamie wearing shorts and light t-shirts, walking back to the car hand in hand at around 11 PM.

“AC, I need the AC.” you groaned, buckling your seatbelt, not even in the car for a whole minute before complaining about the horrible heat.

“Don’t pressure her, it takes a few minutes.” Jamie spoke, softly patting the steering wheel as if to give the car some comfort after your harsh tone towards “her.” You laughed, putting up your hands in surrender as Jamie buckled his seatbelt and began pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. It was fairly quiet tonight in Dallas not many cars on the road, so you and Jamie decided to have some fun and sing along to the radio at full blast not having a care in the world. Pulling up to a stop sign, you looked around before turning the music down and undoing your seatbelt, smirking at your husband in the driver's seat.

“You know, i’ve always wanted to get knocked up in a car.” you whispered as seductively as possible, Jamie smiling at you, his eyes going wide once he realized, and you took no time to lean over the center console and press your lips against his. Tonight was supposed to be like every other Friday night, dinner, movie, sex, it sounded simple, but it was truthfully all you wanted and everything you looked forward to during the week. Tonight ended differently than your other Friday night dates, only a few seconds into kissing and there wasn’t anything to stop what happened next. You never predicted for your once blissfully in love moment to be completely ruined within a matter of seconds. You couldn’t have predicted the drunk driver speeding up behind you and shoving your car full force through the intersection. Yet it happened. With your seatbelt undone the collision caused you to go right through the front windshield, your head suffering most of the damages as you landed on the hood unconscious.

Everyone’s life was based on moments and how one decision you make could impact you for the rest of your life, no matter how big or small. Jamie felt that meeting you was one of life’s greatest joys, he knew the second he saw you that you were meant to be, that you were his one true love. Jamie used the one opportunity he was given to talk to you and he knew it would change his life forever.

-4 years ago-

Jamie couldn’t stop staring at the back of your head from a few feet away from you in line at his favorite coffee shop. You paid the barista and said “thank you” before turning around with your drink and walking passed Jamie, stopping at the door briefly to turn and look back at him realizing that he was already looking at you with a small smirk. You gave him a smile and continued out the door and made it the short distance to where your car was parked.

“Ugh!” you groaned, turning around almost bumping into Jamie who came walking up behind you with a small bag in his hand.

“You forgot your bagel.” Jamie smiled, handing you the bag feeling giddy inside that he was given the opportunity to talk to you.

“Thank you, you’d think I would remember my breakfast after spending 20 minutes waiting for it.” you laughed, looking up at his broad figure just now noticing how tall he really is.

“Yea, it’s what i’m here for.” Jamie said, mentally face palming at the corny line he just gave you.

“Um, i’m Y/N.” you reached your hand out to him, and noticed a small blush on his face.

“Jamie.” he shook your hand, both of you laughing awkwardly and pulling away from each other.

“Well, thank you for this.” you said, opening your car door handle.

“You know, um, I noticed that we have the same coffee order.” Jamie mumbled, and you turned back to look at him, a smirk showing on your face.

“Is that so?”

“Yup.” Jamie nodded his head, as if to confirm it and you could already feel the butterflies bubbling in your stomach.

“How intimate.” you giggled, keeping your eyes on his and noticing how the squint when he smiles.

“I was thinking, we should drink our coffees together. You know, to create a bond over our joint tastes...in coffee.” Jamie said, looking down at you and giving his award winning smile. You agreed closing your car door, the two of you walking back into Weekend Coffee together. You grabbed a table while Jamie ordered his coffee and pastry, coming back to the table and telling you he swears by their pastries. It took Jamie all of about 5 minutes to fall in love with you and you with him. The next few months were spent getting to know each other and falling for each other's quirks and habits.

Jamie woke up in the hospital with virtually no injuries having to listen to the doctor explain to him that his wife was in a medically induced coma. He sat by your side as often as he could and made sure to place your wedding band on your finger where it belongs. Jamie replayed the significant moments in your relationship in his head while he sat by you.

“Babe, you can’t keep doing that.” Jamie walked outside to where you were crouched over a grey cat giving him some food to eat.

“I know, but I love him.” you frowned, going back inside his apartment.

“I can’t keep him though, I'm allergic.” Jamie mentioned, and you knew that already, but the poor cat having to stay outside in the heat made your heart ache.

“Do you want some fruit? I bought it this morning.” you pulled the bowl of fresh fruit out of Jamie’s refrigerator and looked at him while he just smiled at you. Jamie, in those moments, confirmed the thoughts he’d been having for a while now. “What?”

“I want you to move in.” Jamie continued looking at you as he flipped the pancakes he was making for breakfast and you gasped.

“Yes!” you put the fruit down on the counter, coming up behind Jamie and pulling him away from the stove to give him a kiss.

Jamie smiled at the memory, and looked over at you with a tear in his eye. You had a tube down your throat connected to a ventilator to help you breathe and he couldn’t get over the sight. He blinked back the tears and put his head in his hands thinking about your wedding.

“I vow to always love you, and always try the new pastry flavors at the cafe, no matter how weird they may be.” you said looking up into Jamie’s eyes, making him and both your friends laugh at your vow to him.

“You wrote your vows on a Weekend Coffee menu?” Jamie asked, noticing the paper in your hand and you smiled shyly holding it up over your face. Jamie held the same menu up with his vows on it and you both laughed in shock. “Okay, I vow to love every bit of you, now and forever. I promise that no matter what gets in our way, we will always find our way back to each other.” Jamie said, promising his love to you in every way as long as you were both alive.

“Do you take each other as man and wife?”

“I do.” Jamie said proudly, a wide smile covering his face.

“I do.” you smiled just as big, letting a happy laugh leave your throat as you said it. The wedding was small, just having Jamie’s bestest friends there who grew to be your friends as well over the years and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

A few days later you started breathing on your own so the doctors removed you from the ventilator and told Jamie you should be waking up soon and you did. The nurse told Jamie to give you some space when you woke up, knowing that you wouldn’t be fully coherent and probably scared.

“Hey.” Jamie whispered from the end of your hospital bed, seeing the eyes he fell in love with finally flutter open. You looked around the room feeling confused and avoiding eye contact with Jamie. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital, you were in a car accident, you suffered from some head injuries, but you’re okay.” the nurse explained in a soothing tone.

“Was anyone else hurt, doctor?” you asked softy, looking directly at Jamie and feeling uncomfortable under his confused gaze.

“What?” Jamie whispered, feeling his voice about to give out. “Y/N, you know who I am right?”

“You’re my doctor.” you stated, and watched as the man in front of you looked at the nurse and back at you before coming to sit in the chair beside you.

“Um, i’m your husband.” Jamie said, reaching for your hand and feeling his heart break when you pulled away from him holding a scared expression on your face. You glanced down at your left hand gasping when you noticed the wedding ring. Jamie walked out of your hospital room with the nurse feeling frustrated as she explained how brain injuries were hard to diagnose because of how unpredictable the brain is.

“She doesn’t remember me!” Jamie said frustratedly, pulling at the ends of his hair.

“The swelling in the brain can cause confusion and memory loss sometimes, but it’s normal.” the nurse explained, watching Jamie walk down the hallway of the hospital with tears in his eyes.

Jamie went home to pack a bag for you and came back to the hospital later that night. He fell asleep laying on a few of the chairs in the waiting room and was woken up by you tapping his shoulder lightly.

“Hi.” Jamie said sitting up, his voice gravely from the short slumber he was in.

“What are you doing?” you asked, wrapping your hospital robe tighter around your body.

“Sleeping.” Jamie yawned, and you smiled awkwardly before nodding your head. Jamie grabbed the bag he packed for you and moved it closer to you. “I brought you some clothes.”

“Thanks.” you spoke, sitting on one of the chairs next to him. “I’m hungry.”

“Okay.” Jamie laughed, grabbing your bag and walking with you to the hospital cafeteria. Jamie explained to you that you were a painter and had your own studio and you were shocked to find out you didn’t follow through with going to med school.

“I remember being in med school and...being engaged to Samuel.” you said, noticing how Jamie put his head down a little. “I just, I don’t know.” you got up from your seat in the cafeteria heading up the stairs hearing Jamie run after you.

“Babe, babe, just wait!” Jamie called after you and you tensed hearing the pet name he used, but stopped on the stairs turning to look at him.

“The best thing you can do is to go back to your life, with me. You heard what the doctor said.” Jamie said, putting emphasis on the word “best.”

“But I don’t know you. So what? I’m just supposed to go back to a stranger's place.”

“It’s our place.”

“There’s no proof of our love? A journal?” you asked, feeling helpless. Of course, you wanted to believe Jamie was your husband for the right reasons and that you were in love with him, but it was so hard for you.

The next day you got ready to leave with your parents not feeling like going home with Jamie was even an option at this point.

“Wait hold on, I have a letter you sent when I was away.” Jamie ran into your room, holding up his phone. “You said you wanted proof.”

Hey baby,

I’m at the studio right now and I miss you so bad these paintings are starting to look like you. I’m sending you a letter because I thought it would be a fun surprise for you on your roadie. I hope it actually makes it to you. Anyways, I love you and I can’t wait to see you when you come home next week.

Love you always,

Y/N

“Just think about it, you quit med school, you pursued being an artist, you moved to Dallas. These are all things you did way before meeting me, you know it to yourself to at least experience the life you set up for yourself.” Jamie said, grabbing onto your hands and pouring his heart into those few sentences. “Come home with me.”

“I guess I could try it out, to see if it will help my memory. If it doesn’t work out, i’ll come home.” you turned to look at your parents as you spoke and your parents understood. They loved Jamie and just wanted the best for you. You drove home with Jamie taking everything from Dallas in on your ride from the hospital. You spent the night looking around your shared apartment at the pictures and smelling the perfumes you had on your vanity. Nothing felt familiar when you went to sleep alone, Jamie sleeping on the living room couch.

When you woke up you took a shower and came out disturbed to find out you had a tattoo of a bird on your shoulder, and changed into an oversized sweatshirt before going into the kitchen area where Jamie was.

“You look nice.” Jamie said, smirking slightly, taking in your interesting clothing choices.

“Really? This is the only thing of mine I feel comfortable in.” you said, hugging the material around your body awkwardly.

“That’s mine actually.” Jamie laughed, pointing to the Stars logo on the front and you laughed while apologizing and he assured you it was okay that you wear it. Jamie went to practice and you managed to find the video of your wedding chuckling at your corny vows and tears up at Jamie’s. You noticed the name of the cafe on the menus and decided to go there for the afternoon.

The next few weeks went by as seamlessly as they could when you’re suffering from amnesia. You and Jamie made small talk in the mornings and at night before retreating to your own beds. Nothing felt normal for you, but you were trying everyday to discover new things around the apartment that might jog your memory while Jamie was at practice. Today you were feeling curious about your old life and Samuel and how things ended between the two of you when you remember being so blissfully in love with him. You called your mom and asked where he worked so you could visit him and although she was hesitant on telling you she eventually gave you the information. You took a short bus ride to locate his office building that he worked at and asked the receptionist to show you where his office is.

“Hi.” you said walking into his office, smiling widely when he turned to look at you and you realized he hadn’t changed a bit.

“Y/N.” Samuel said, shocked to see you standing in his office after no many years apart. You explained to him what happened with the car accident and how the last thing you remember is being with him.

“Can you please explain what happened with us?” you asked, shifting in your seat across from him in his office.

“Only you would dump a guy and then come back and ask for answers.” Samuel said, fidgeting with the pen on his desk. “A cruel, pre wedding dumping.”

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused not fathoming why you would call off your wedding to the guy sitting in front of you.

“You just changed. You weren’t sure about med school anymore, and you really weren’t sure about me.” Samuel explained. “It’s okay though, i’ve been with Rose for about a year now.”

“Right.” you shook your head slightly disappointed that the guy you last remember loving had moved on from you.

“I couldn’t wait forever, Y/N.” you nodded your head agreeing with him and stood up to leave.

“I’ll let you get back to work.” you said, both of you going in for a hug, something you hadn’t felt in ages. Feeling Samuel’s arms wrap around your waist made you pull back to look at him before leaning in to kiss him with your hands cupping his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” you said, pulling away and walking out the door.

The next day you woke up ready to explore a different part of your new life that you hadn’t yet understood. The artist side. The last time you wanted to be an artist you were in high school so owning your own studio and actually selling paintings to people was one of the biggest things you had to wrap your mind around.

“I’m ready to see the studio.” you said at breakfast with Jamie, hoping he would take you there and show you around.

“Yea? Alright! We’ll go after this.” Jamie said excitedly, ready to show you a huge part of who you were. It was a short walk from your apartment so after breakfast the two of you went there and Jamie unlocked the doors for you.

“This is it.” he said, opening the door and letting you inside first to take everything in. “It’s cool right?”

“Wow.” you said slowly walking around the room, looking at all of your art supplies and paintings all over the room.

“You used to come in here and blast the music and get so lost in your art.” Jamie explained, watching you look around at everything, stopping to touch a few of the pieces you had on the walls. Jamie handed you a paintbrush when you stopped in front of your latest unfinished piece and you hesitated before taking it. “Go ahead.”

“I don’t really know what i’m doing.” you felt panicked and insecure in those moments, with Jamie watching over you knowing he wanted nothing more than to know you still remember how to make art.

“Hold on.” Jamie said, running over to the stereo you had in the corner of the room and turning it up loudly before walking back to you with a big smile on his face. “Just try it.”

“Can you just turn the music down please?” you asked, voice shaky feeling anxiety erupt in your stomach and spread all over your body.

“I swear you used to listen to it way louder than this-”

“I have a clinically bad fucking headache! Please turn it down!” you threw the paintbrush, yelling over the music at Jamie and rubbing your temples. Jamie turned off the music, feeling anger bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to blow up on you, but he wanted you to realize it was hard for him too.

“I’m trying to help you! We don’t speak to each other like this, Y/N. This is difficult for me too.” Jamie explained, before turning around and walking out of your studio. After he left you spent some more time looking around before going back to your apartment. Jamie went for a walk and stopped at your favorite takeout place before returning home to you.

“Y/N?” Jamie called out, not seeing you in the living room.

“I’m in here.” you responded, and Jamie walked into your bedroom seeing you packing a bag. “My sister is getting married soon and I just feel like I should be there for her. She has an engagement party coming up so I want to help her with that.”

“Okay, but what about your life here?” Jamie asked, watching you walk around your room grabbing more things to pack away.

“I don’t know, I just- I can’t do it.” you said. “I’m sorry, it’s just going to be until after the wedding.”

You invited Jamie to your sister’s engagement party, per your family's request, and against your sisters. Your sister never minded Jamie, but she always preferred you with Samuel, since she was the reason you guys had met in the first place. Your parents insisted on Jamie being a part of this event, not as your date, but just so he could feel welcome in this aspect of your life since it was new for all of you.

“Y/N!” Jamie said, spotting you once he entered the backyard to where the party was happening.

“Jamie! You made it!” you said, walking over to him and noticing his suit. “You look nice.”

“I was thinking that we should try a new method. We should start from the beginning, and I would like to take you on a date.”

“A date?” you asked, feeling uneasy at his question when you looked behind him briefly noticing Samuel. “I don’t know, the weddings coming up-”

“But if we go before that, you could still take me as your date.” Jamie said, smirking. Suddenly feeling smooth and confident with his choice of words.

“Okay. A date.” you nodded your head in agreement, smiling widely up at Jamie before both of your attentions got turned to some toasts being made.

A few days later and Jamie was getting ready for his date with you. He picked you up at your sister’s house, just outside of Dallas.

“Where are we going?” you asked curiously, noticing that Jamie was driving back into the city.

“It’s a surprise.” Jamie said, and not long after you made it to your first destination which was parked on the side of the road, you knew it looked familiar from the day you explored on your own, but you couldn’t pinpoint it. “This is the exact spot where we first met. I’m gonna take you down memory lane.”

You guys got out of the car and headed into Weekend Coffee where Jamie brought you to the table you first sat at together and left to go up and get you the same order you both had that day.

“This is my favorite pastry of all time and the day we met I forced you to try it.” Jamie said, sliding the pastry over to you for you to try. You took a small bite and moaned in satisfaction making both of you laugh at your reaction.

“It’s amazing!” you took another bite, and listened as Jamie explained to you how you always order that pastry and whatever new flavor they have that time and split them. The next stop on Jamie’s list was the rink where the Stars practice and also where he taught you how to skate very quickly into your relationship.

“What do you think?” Jamie asked, handing you a sweatshirt to wear while you're inside the rink.

“Um, I can’t skate. I’ll eat ice.” you said, shaking your head and Jamie laughed throwing his head back.

“I got you, don’t worry.” Jamie said, finishing the laces on his skates before kneeling down to help you tie yours the proper way for them to be secure on your feet. Jamie stood up on his skates and walked towards the opening of the rink before turning to look at you. You nodded slowly wobbling behind him, and watching as he expertly took his place on the ice.

“Hold my hand.” you shrieked, holding both your hands out for him to take. Jamie grabbed a hold of your hands and led you onto the ice, but he quickly moved his hands to your waist to help stabilize you.

After a little while of him holding you tightly, you hadn’t realized when he started pulling away from you and you were skating on your own. You gasped realizing he was watching you from about a foot away and that caused you to lose your balance. You felt your skates come up from under you and you closed your eyes bracing yourself for the fall, but it never came jamie saving the fall, holding you in his arms.

“Oh my god! I thought I was gonna die!” you yelped, and looked up at Jamie seeing him smiling down at you.

“I think you learned even quicker this time around.” Jamie smirked, standing you up straight on your skates. The two of you wrapped up the lesson and made your way back out to his car.

“Kiss me.” you said to Jamie once both of you were in the car. Jamie looked at you with wide eyes and you were already smiling confidently at him.

“Are you sure?” Jamie asked, already starting to lean into you and you nodded your head yes before pulling him in by the back of the neck. Jamie put everything he had in that kiss and you could feel all his emotions pouring into it.

“This is nice.” you said, pulling away with a smile on your lips. Jamie nodded, leaning in to kiss you again, finally letting himself feel safe in your embrace because for the first time in months he felt close to you again. You pulled apart both of you breathing heavy and your faces flushed and Jamie drove you back to your sisters house and of course, walked you to the door like a gentleman.

“I miss you. I miss us. I love you.” Jamie said, and you gave him a sad smile before looking around to avoid meeting his gaze.

“I should get inside. Goodnight Jamie.” you walked into the house, giving him a small smile before closing the door. When you walked inside your sister was sitting on the couch watching tv and waiting for you.

“Hey! Were you out with Samuel?” your sister asked excited.

“No, I was with Jamie. I like him.” you smiled, trying to fight off the tears beginning to pool in your eyes, but that didn’t help and they came rushing down your face.

A few days later and it was your sister's wedding, you didn’t bring Jamie as your date knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to him to give him that kind of hope. Jamie kept his distance with you, not wanting to overwhelm you with his presence at the reception.

“Hey, you want me to introduce you to people. Can’t feel good to be the one left out.” Samuel said, coming over to where Jamie was standing at the bar.

“I’m not the one left out.” Jamie said confidently.

“If you say so. You just seem weird over here all by yourself.” Samuel laughed, getting his drink from the bartender.

“I’m just waiting for Y/N.” Jamie said, slight irritation in his tone of voice

“Good luck with that.” Samuel said, starting to walk away from the bar.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Jamie asked, before Samuel could get too far away. “Y/N leaves you, has a whole life without you with some new guy that's different and now you get to watch her reject all of that.”

“I like it a little bit, I guess.” Samuel smirked, a condescending chuckle falling from his lips.

“You wanna know what I like? I like that Y/N told me everything about you, that when she was with you she’d wake up at night panicking thinking, ‘is this all there is?’” Jamie said, taking a sip from his drink.

“She told you everything?” Samuel asked, a smile on his face. “Did she tell you that she kissed me a few weeks ago?”

“Look, you obviously love her and think that you're gonna get her back, but she outgrew you. It’ll probably happen again, man.” Jamie said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, i’ll be sure to think about that when i’m in bed with your wife.” Samuel said, and that was the final straw for Jamie as he threw a punch to his face knocking Samuel to the ground.

“Jamie!” you yelled, running over and seeing Samuel on the ground. Jamie turned to look at you and ran after you.

“What was that?” you felt Jamie coming up behind you so you stopped short turning around once you were out of earshot from everyone.

“I’ve been driving myself crazy trying everything possible to save us and you’ve been kissing Samuel?” Jamie said, frustration hitting him like a brick.

“That’s not fair!” you said, looking up at Jamie.

“No? I see the way you look at him, it’s the same way you used to look at me.” Jamie whispered, looking at the ground and back up at you. “Your memory’s not coming back. I’m a stranger.”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you Jamie. I’m so tired of disappointing you.” you let the tears fall down your face freely.

“I know. How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to leave?”Jamie asked, before turning and walking away from you.

9 Months Later

You were finally getting around to unpack your things from Jamie’s apartment. You hadn’t realized the last box was holding something very near and dear to your heart. It was your wedding vows, the ones written on Weekend Coffee menus.

“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patients that love demands.” you read the menu outloud, feeling a pang in your chest and your breath hitch in your throat. You decided to take a ride to the small cafe where everything started, upon arriving you saw Jamie outside the doors reading the “closed” sign on the glass. Jamie turned, walking away from the door and doing a double take as he saw you approaching and stopped in his tracks.

“Hi.” Jamie said, walking closer to meet you halfway on the sidewalk.

“Hi.” you responded, both of you stopping in front of each other.

“I hope you didn’t come all the way to the city for a pastry.” Jamie said, turning to look back at the sign.

“Actually, I moved back here six months ago.” you said, smiling up at Jamie.

“Really? That’s great.”

“I’ve actually started to paint again.”

“That’s amazing!”

“It’s crazy what my hands remember, that my mind forgot you know?” you said, gesturing to your head as you spoke. “So, thank you.”

“Wasn’t me.” Jamie said, shaking his head noticing the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Yes it was. You did everything. You never wanted anything but the best for me.” you said, reassuring Jamie, wiping the tears that started to fall down your face.

“I just wanted you to be happy.” Jamie confirmed.

“Isn’t there somewhere we used to go when this place closed?” you asked, smirking at Jamie hoping he’s getting the hint that you want to go out with him.

“Yea, let’s go.” Jamie said, both of you walking the same direction. Jamie smiling down at you when you reached for his hand.

You never regained your memory, but the love between you and Jamie was true, it was real and raw and able to be felt no matter what forces were between you. It was a love that anyone could feel being in the same room as you, it was kind, patient, and honest.

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