#james march x fem reader

[darkkissx]

Not made for one another.

jpm x fem!reader

warnings; adultery, mentions of murder, angst, toxic relationships, mentions of sex.

a/n: this is kinda short; but I was in an angsty mood lmaoo

now playing: drunk walk home -mitski

It wasn’t always this way. He used to show you off, buy you fancy gifts and dresses; declare his un-denying love to you whenever you were sad. But you blinked and it was all gone. In a quick breath, a small flicker of light; he was no longer yours.

He used to make sweet, passionate, sometimes rough; depending on his mood, love to you almost each night; until he stopped. He was gone every night, leaving you alone in the quiet room that echoed of your sobs and sniffles. He would return, reeking of another woman’s expensive perfume, that often times matched the scent of the countess during the rare times you would see her.

It made you go crazy, the feeling of sadness quickly replaced by the bitter feelings of hatred and disgust. You wanted to slap him, tie him down and stab him repeatedly until you could no longer feel your arms. But you couldn’t; you still loved him. And a small, tiny part of you knew that. No matter how much you tried to ignore it. You loved James, and you always would.

You sat in bed, the pale moonlight shining down on you; enhancing your features mildly and giving your skin a ghostly hue.

A familiar voice that you had grown to despise, ripped the thoughts from your head. They were pushed to the back of your mind as you raised a brow.

“James? What are you doing here? You usually fraternize with Elizabeth for a lot longer.” You spoke viciously, your eyes that once held love and adoration replaced with despise and untrust.

“Whatever are you talking about, dearest?” The old-timey man in front of you with a thick accent raised an amused brow. His dead, cold eyes now holding amusement and cruelty.

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” You spoke, a slight shake in your voice as you stood up from the bed in which James once held you affectionately.

“Figure out what?” His face was unreadable, yet he faked cluelessness as he talked with you.

“Your little love affair with the countess!” You breathed out, crossing your arms and sending a glare towards the man.

He raised a brow once more, as he stared down at you. You wanted to shrink away, to hide. His strong gaze made your knees buckle, feeling vulnerable; but you stood your ground, staring back into his unloving eyes.

“Tell me now, do you love me; or her.” You spoke finally, awaiting his response as anxiety creeped up your spine.

He didn’t respond, keeping a tight hold on his cane; normally used as a weapon, which gave you just the answer you were suspecting. With a huff, you whipped around, reaching under the bed and grabbing your long ago discarded suitcase.

“What are you doing?” He asked in amusement, as if this were a game to him.

“I can no longer share a roof with a man whose heart belongs to another.” You spoke, throwing all of your belongings into the black suitcase; only tossing in a few things James had gifted to you.

He didn’t respond, he just watched as you ran around; collecting all of your things.

You zipped your suitcase closed, grabbing it and offering him a glare; before storming out of the hotel room.

You stomped down the hallway, tears building in your eyes, each emotion you were feeling playing a part.

You walked up to Liz sadly. “Hey Liz..” you mumbled, you voice breaking sadly. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable in front of her; since she was one of the only nice people in this hell hole trapped with unloving souls.

“Hey honey, what happened?” She asked, concerned grazing her features as she glanced between you and your suitcase.

“I’m leaving. For good, this time.” You spoke, your voice raspy and dry; from the cries you had choked out earlier. “James no longer loves me, and I refuse to sit by and watch him be head over heels for another woman.” You admitted, a sorrow filled expression lying atop of your features.

Liz nodded slowly, taking your hand in hers. “I’m proud of you, honey. And you can always stop by and come see me; I’ll keep James and Elizabeth away.” She furrowed her brows, the ghost of a comforting smile representing itself in her face.

“Thank you Liz, goodbye.” You offered a heart broken smile, as you turned and walked out of the large hotel.

You felt the eyes of your past lover burn a hole into the back of your head through the window, as you abandoned the sinister place you had once called home.

[nobitchs-world]

Me: I love horror movie slashers

My scary ass if I ever saw them:

[trueangel420]

Tate Langdon ‘one two ur the girl that i want’ imagine // insecure! fem reader & kinda sorta perv creep tate. ౨ৎ

Hanging out with tate was always the same, he’d play his guitar for you sometimes—make you listen to his music it was all so peaceful his mom wouldn’t be home half the time neither would his step father so he’d just bring you over, do whatever he can to keep you there for as long as he could. you were his neighbor of course, that’s how you two met he ran into you after noticing how you’d sit at the same spot in your yard, and cry. at first he didn’t feel anything but the more he watched you from his window the sadder he got—i mean why would a girl like you cry? he didn’t understand so pretty, so smart, perfect family perfect friends.

Ever since then he’d be by your side, he’d make sure to stay there consistently—he’d bring you to his room play his little nirvana songs and watch you sway along to them. he was enamored, and obviously obsessed, why couldn’t he keep you or atleast keep memories of you. that’s when a idea popped into his sick head—he bolted to the nearest camera store and got himself a little camcorder, stationed himself at the same window he did to watch you as always, it was his routine now. and he’d record, he’d watch you analyze yourself in the mirror, shed a tear or two maybe even sometimes tug off the tight clothes you never wore outside and opt for something baggy, something that wouldn’t show your figure and he adored your figure. he would watch you drift between outfits for coming over, and sometimes he even prayed, yes prayed that you’d for once get out of your own head and wear something like that for him—something so revealing. He finished recording and closed his blinds, setting up the room for you with music playing idly in the background. He fixed his messy blonde locks and grabbed his rings, sliding them onto his fingers. He knew you liked them, and he liked that you liked them. With everything set, he heard your soft knock on the door and let you in, you entered his room, immediately feeling the familiar comfort of the dim lighting and the soft strumming of his guitar in the background. He watched as you looked around, taking in the effort he put into making the space inviting for you.

“Hey,” he greeted putting his guitar down, his voice gentle as he took in your outfit, baggy pants again, extra large shirt again, he didn’t want to say anything about it yet—it wasn’t the right time. “i got your favorite snacks and stuff… i wanna show you something” he said making you feel curious, you shifted uncomfortably in your spot it felt like he was analyzing you sometimes and you were scared of it, someone as good looking as him would probably notice all your flaws everytime he looked at you, you debated on sitting next to him on his bed like usual, but you were just too— “Hey are you listening? come here” he murmured. You watched him pat the spot next to him, his dark eyes intensely trying to make out the outline of your body again. “C'mon, pretty girl,” he coaxed softly. You shuddered at his tone. Pretty girl? Was he speaking to you?

“Wha-... huh?” you gasped.

“Pretty girl,” he repeated with a small smile. “I wanna show you something.” He moved towards the end of the bed, grabbing the remote and patting the spot next to him again. “C'mon, it can't wait.” You hesitated but eventually made your way to the bed, the curiosity in his voice compelling you to comply.

He fiddled with the buttons on the remote before showing a blurry video. It was your house, it looked like. You felt the bed shift as he moved closer to you, glancing at you. “This is the most beautiful thing I've ever filmed,” he murmured, his breath brushing your face as he watched the screen. The camera zoomed in on your window, staying steady as you held your breath. “I didn’t know you were into... flim,” you said quietly, watching the footage. The camera waited for a moment. Your lights clicked on, and there you were, standing in the mirror, critically staring at yourself as always, holding up two different outfits—one comfortable and revealing, the other big and baggy. A lump formed in your throat as you watched further, blinking slowly, trying to understand if this was real. Tate was recording you? Watching you?

“Look at that shirt… oh, and that dress,” he said, speeding up the video to highlight the clothes that fit you better. You didn’t know how to feel—nervous? Scared? Appreciated? “Sucha pretty girl,” he mumbled again as you kept your eyes trained on the TV, unable to look away. Your mind raced, emotions swirling as you tried to process the reality of what you were seeing. You felt exposed, vulnerable under his intense gaze. Despite the confusion and fear, a small part of you couldn’t help but be drawn to the way he saw you, even if it was through the lens of a camera.

His voice broke through your swirling thoughts. “I just wanted to capture how beautiful you are,” he whispered, leaning closer. “You never see it yourself.” You couldn't tear your eyes away from the screen, watching as the video showed you trying on different outfits, each frame feeling more intimate and invasive than the last.

“T-Tate, this is wrong…” you stammered, finally looking at him. A smile tugged at his lips at your comment; he didn’t care. He just wanted you to know how he felt. “This is... this is invading my privacy, Tate,” you added, trying to sound disgusted, trying to seem uncomfortable by his admiration. He shrugged, his smile not fading. “I just wanted you to see yourself the way I see you. You’re always hiding, always doubting yourself. I thought maybe if you saw what I see, you’d understand.”

“Who do you think you are? You don’t know how I see myself. You don’t know me,” you snapped, trying to keep up the facade of discomfort. But Jesus, the way he looked at you…with those deep brown eyes, god—it was like you were the sun and he was the earth, and that’s all that mattered now. It almost distracted you from the fact that you were on his TV, undressing.

“I know everything about you, pretty girl,” he said, his voice unwavering.

“No you don’t”

He hummed lowly at your denial, leaning against your neck, his face pressed gently into your skin. “I like you,” he whispered, his breath hitting your neck and sending goosebumps rising on your skin. He liked you? Tate Langdon? Like you?

“No, you don’t… you’re just saying that. You’re trying to make me feel better. I bet you don’t even think about me,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. He paused for a moment, his gaze drifting to your lips as he took a second to gather his thoughts.

“Pretty much all I think about is you... It’s practically all I think about,” he muttered under his breath, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “Me? You think about me?” you scoffed, trying to mask the flutter of hope in your chest.

He hummed in agreement, slowly pulling your body as close to his as possible, eliminating any space between you. “Yeah… only you,” he murmured, his hand resting on your back and grabbing the edge of your baggy shirt. His lips ghosted against your skin as he spoke, a grin playing on his face, making you feel both vulnerable and exhilarated.

“...I didn’t want to scare you off just yet. I’ve been waiting patiently, pretty girl,” he muttered, his fingers moving along your hip in a mindless motion. “Hell, I know your entire schedule. Every little thing you do on a day-to-day basis,” he continued, his lips now gently touching your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “Be my girlfriend,” he whispered, his voice low and filled with longing.

Was he serious? You, out of all the girls? He chose you? Your eyes widened in disbelief, and you felt like a deer in headlights. You wanted to say yes, and with the way he was looking at you, you felt you had to say yes. “Are you serious?” you whispered, the insecurities lacing your tone. You searched his face for any hint of doubt, but all you found was sincerity. “So serious… Say yes, say you’ll be my girlfriend, and say you won’t go home,” his voice was breathy as he spoke.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. The intensity of his gaze, the warmth of his breath on your skin, it all made it impossible to think straight. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words.

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He grabbed your chin, his hold firm, his eyes boring into yours. “Say you won’t go home,” he demanded, his voice leaving no room for hesitation. You felt a mix of fear and thrill coursing through you, and with a shaky breath, you replied, “I won’t go home.”

“Say it like you mean it. Say you want to stay here with me, say you want to be mine,” he insisted, his grip tightening slightly.You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I want to stay here with you,” you said, your voice stronger this time. “I want to be yours.”

“Good... my pretty girl. Remember this, remember you’re my pretty girl,” he whispered, his grip softening as he caressed your chin. His eyes softened as he looked at you, a look filled with possessiveness and affection.

[yes-divine-ruler]

james march

one-shots

smut

For Eternity

rory monahan

one-shots

smut

My Little Pornstar

‎‏‏‎‎‏kai anderson

one-shots

smut

Make Love to Me

Ultraviolence

The Death of Peace of Mind

Bottoms Up x pre-cult!kai

Your Personal Trainer ------- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Get it Up

Vengeance

Worst In Me

Cake

Razor Sharp

Humiliated Man

Sexting the Councilman

All Part of My Plan

So Easy

Doll x bimbo!fem!reader

Obey by my Rules

Benefactor x virgin!fem!reader

Sweet Dreams

Mr Anderson x student!fem!reader

Off Limits x warren lipka

Cam Girl

angst

Love The Way You Lie

Protected

headcanons

Falling Pregnant with Kai Anderson’s Messiah

Reader loves crotchet and gardening

drabbles/blurbs

bratting out in public

overstimulation

overstimulation 2

“first one to cum is a loser”

series

“Rivals” Masterlist

All Parts (5/? posted)

[luv4divineruler]

kai anderson x fem!reader headcannons

MOVED TO @spectr3inl0ve

authors note: this is my first time writing headcannons so naturally it wont be top tier quality! i will try to write for gender neutral readers but atm im still trying to figure out my writing style and get comfortable with it :)

please remember that these are my headcannons i have for kai and may be out of character. i do however try to keep them as realistic to his character as possible as i prefer it that way!

contains ⚠️: kai anderson, slight fluff, kai being cold ig

kai anderson is not fond of pda, unless he initiates it. this would be when hes trying to make himself look like a good partner so the public perceives him as "an average man" (i will bring up the average man again)

his staged pda may look like: hand holding, swift kisses on the cheek, arm around ur shoulder and maybe around ur waist. he would be more likely to allow u to initiate it as well. he doesnt want to be viewed as clingy or touchy

in private he is tolerant of ur kisses (on his cheek, nose, wherever), hand holding, hugging, clinging to his arm, cuddling, resting ur head on his shoulder, etc. he probably likes it, but he would never let u know that

kai has invested in stocks and a few small properties. that, combined with his job as an app developer and his parents retirement funds allows him to live comfortably. and be able to spoil u.

that being said, his love language is more likely to be gift giving.

when u wake up with kai not being by ur side, sometimes a wad of cash ranging from hundreds to thousands of dollars (lucky u ;)) will be left in his place

kai may even be gravious enough to leave a simple note reading,

"*reader*, buy yourself something nice. K.A"

though sometimes he leaves the cash not for ur shopping but for u to buy groceries, household items and things that he needs such as clothes, razors, hair dye, etc. u dont complain as u live in his house for free and he makes sure ur health is at peak condition

dates arent common, but they arent rare either so sometimes he will plan take u on a date on the days he leaves cash for u to spend on urself. on these days, the money would be accompanied by a note reading,

"I'm taking u out to dinner tonight at *place* at *time*. Dress accordingly. If you would like you may buy me something to wear to dinner. K.A"

or something along those lines. If he doesn't leave a note he'll send a text and either way he'll sign with his initials. (will def write more about this so stay tuned)

he would never let u know that he likes (not to be confused with loves) when you buy outfits for him to wear.

he probably had poor hygiene before dating u. u would've had to convince him to take showers everyday and to wash his hair more. he would shower more, but would neglect his hair. when u wash his hair, u notice how he's slightly more vulnerable with u, less hostile.

when kai needs to re-dye his hair, he asks u if u want to do it, otherwise he'd do it himself or get winter (b4 her death) to do it

this isn't original (i read it in an amazing smut but i dont remember the @ 😭) but he doesn't pay attention to conversations or u talking to him while he eats. he's focused on the food in front of him. u use this to ur advantage, getting him to buy u lavish gifts he wouldntve said yes to buying if he wasn't eating.

doesn't really give compliments of assurance, only when ure literally sobbing in his arms or in a dark corner of a room.

"I've tought you to be stronger Angel. You should be secure with who you are. It makes you impenetrable. Untouchable."

he would tell u, as he presses a hard kiss to the top of your head

would definitely have pet names for u. probably animal related like Bunny, Little Lamb (a popular one associated with kai). he would also call u Angel, maybe babe or baby. I don't see him calling u kitten or queen. sorry

when u sleep u have ur back facing him, depending on his mood u could be holding hands or he could have his arms snaked around ur waist. if hes exhausted he may let u cuddle into his chest (idk y but i feel like he'd normally have a problem with that). either way, u always kiss him goodnight, whether that'd be on his lips, cheek, head, nose, or somewhere in between. he usually wouldnt reciprocate it, but if he's feeling generous he will

soo thats finished, i am definitely going to write some oneshots based on a headcannon or 2

taglist (dm or comment to be added): omg it looks so lonely rn

[saintlucretia]

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝐼𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓁𝓁

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤaka Saint Lucretia

ㅤㅤㅤㅤAmerican Horror Story

James Patrick March

Last Breath

A Lethiferous Date With an Art Deco Man

Melancholy Of A Sinner

Wrong Company For A Teenage Girl

Austin Sommers

Whiskey & Blood

Michael Langdon

Devil Wears A Suit, part Ⅰ

Devil Wears A Suit, part Ⅱ

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

(Feel free to request other fandoms as well!!)

[lcnelyghost]

Hey, this could be just a jpm request or with the evans but how they would react to a s/o who swears alot 💀💀

help i literally love this idea. as someone who’s scottish and has a habit of swearing quite a bit, i just KNOW james finds bad language atrocious 😭

watch you’re tongue//jpm

pairings: james patrick march x fem reader

rating: pg??

warnings; none! perhaps a lot of harsh language but this is literally tumblr lmfao

“OH FUCK RIGHT OFF!!! I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHITTY FUCKING THING!!!” You screamed, slamming you’re phone down harshly onto the table. Why was it so hard to not have autocorrect on you’re ass all the time?

Meanwhile, Mr March was in his office, listening to you go off about whatever you had been doing for the past hour or so. He groaned slightly at the foul words you were currently saying. He should’ve grown used to this daily routine by now. If you got angry at even the slightest little thing, you’d full on explode. That was why James would often hear a string of curses come fumbling out of you’re mouth.

“NOOOOOO!! OH GET YOURSELF TO FUCK ALREADY!” You yelled again. James pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, muttering something to himself with great annoyance.

“FUCK THIS SHIT!” You repeated over and over again. James now fully couldn’t concentrate and it was starting to really bother him. He was working so hard on these plans, and you’re fit of rage in the background wasn’t helping at all.

He sighed and got up, exiting his office. You heard his footsteps getting ready to enter the bedroom, so you just managed to shut up yet still tapped at you’re phone furiously.

James knocked twice right as you told him to come in. You decided to turn you’re phone off and tossed it to the other side of the bed.

“Darling, may I speak with you for a second?” He asked politely. You signalled to him that you were sort of busy but he didn’t move whatsoever.

“Please.”

You huffed and motioned for him to sit down. He sat on the foot of the bed with his hands in his pockets, exhaling calmly.

“Dear.. what it is that has caused you to be so upset? I couldn’t help but hear that, erm.. filthy language..” You cringed a little as you heard James say those words. You knew he wasn’t you’re biggest fan when it came to how many vulgar and disgusting words were said by you from time to time.

You awkwardly scratched you’re neck. “Oh, uh.. well.. I had no clue anyone was listening if i’m being honest..”

James cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “Dear, this isn’t in any way intended to be offensive.. but it was hard for me not to hear you..”

You bit you’re lip as you realised you had distracted him from his work again. You and these constant unexpected fits of rage..

“Oh James.. i’m sorry. I’ll try to keep that under control as best as I can. It’s not very ladylike of me..” You said, taking him by his hand. He smiled softly and placed a light kiss on one of you’re own hands.

“Not to worry darling… oh! These last few notes shouldn’t take too long! I’ll instruct Miss Evers to begin making dinner shortly.” He winked, you giggled at him and watched as he left the room. You returned back to going on you’re phone and just ignored what you’d recently been up to.

Suddenly, a loud crash caught you’re attention. You��re head quickly snapped up from you’re phone as you froze completely.

James had accidentally fallen over something that Miss Evers had left out. He hissed in pain as a hand flew to his mouth. What he’d only just realised is that whilst he was going down onto the floor, he’d said something that you CERTAINLY would bring up the next minute you saw him.

“SHIT!”

[marchsfreakshow]

Poems - The Speck [James Patrick March]

Drabble //fluffy to all hells

Part 4 to add to the Poems collection. Find the other parts in my masterlist. <3

Yet another poem to add to your collection, and your confidence is through the roof with this poem. You just hoped James felt the same.

Your perspective!

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

I was vigorously typing when James appeared back in our room, blood still dripping down his face and clothes. "Darling!" He smiled. It made me jump a little as I looked away from the bright screen.

"Hello." My head cocked to the side slightly as I stared at him. "Not had time to clean up yet mister?" I giggle, putting my laptop down and walking towards the man. He shook his head as he pulled me close. Occasionally, i felt the small drips of blood on my own clothes while we hugged. Not like I cared, I was writing a poem, finally, to get published in a poem competition in the newspaper. Maybe some recognition to the garbles of words I call poems.

"Not yet my dear. Sally told me your news before I could do anything else." A small grin appeared on his face.

"I'm working on the poem right now."

"Can I read it darling?" I nodded in response. "I'll read it out loud yes?"

He started to read the words on the screen outloud as I watched him.

"The speck. It appears again. The white little cloud, floating in my eye. I itch for it. My eye burns. My brain is in love. My heart hurts." Hearing him say the poem outloud made me feel slightly embarrassed, but I just gulped and kept re-reading the poem while James spoke it.

"Oh why must I be so divided? This speck. Why is it important? This piece of dust, that is still in my vision, has no reason to leave. But I blink. And you disappear again. Maybe you'll disappear again. Maybe my brain will fall. Fall to my heart. Bye bye speck. You're nothing special. You're a white cloud."

The meaning of the poem never hit me, until James read it. Thinking about people before James, and how they didn't mean much. He smiled once he finished the poem, and looked from the laptop to my own eyes. The dead stare. Was it a good or bad stare? Whelp "Yeah..?" I asked quietly.

As soon as i spoke, he held me again, bringing me as close as he possibly could be. I took this as a guess that it was a good poem. "You're going to win. And change the world." He whispered to me. It felt like I was frozen as we hugged. Affirmations were never my strong-suit, past and present. Constantly getting put down for what i wrote all the time shattered me.

Despite the negativity that lived in my head, i smiled and kissed James' bloody face. "Thank you James. I really appreciate the positivity."

"You're perfectly wonderous my sweet bird, i have full confidence you will win this competition." He kissed my hand, what a gentleman, and let me go so i headed back to my laptop.

Sighing, i typed, refined and re-read the poem about a million times before it was sent off. A breath of relief let itself out of my mouth, and i shut the laptop, laying down. "Im so proud of you my dear."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

[chiptaylorsfirst]

Kinkmas: Day 4

Day 4 - Size Difference

Word Count: 1,695

Pairing: dom!James Patrick March x fem!ghost!wife!Reader

Warning: Smut, kinda dark, violence and killing, size difference kink, fingering, slight choking kink, a bit of nibbling

Summary: After a foolish man decides to mess with you, you and James take things into your own hands, leading you to feel a certain way towards one another.

The very first day that James met you, he knew you had to be his. He didn’t understand why but he was simply astounded by how small you were compared to him. You were a petite woman who was a bit shorter than what James was used to. Women during his time were tall and fit. They weren’t as small as you and normally weighed a bit more. He liked the fact that you could be thrown around if he wanted and for some reason, you liked it too. So now when he saw his beautiful wife being hit on by a man who couldn’t take a hint, he became enraged. You were at the bar, trying your best to take your mind off of some stress you had in the past few days.

You were there to talk to Liz, knowing she’d give the best advice and brighten your day. Unfortunately, that couldn’t work because you felt your shoulder being tapped by a tall, lanky man with a smirk on his face. “What you doing here, gorgeous? You’re here all alone without a man?” You turned to face him, rolling your eyes as you did. “I’m just trying to calm my temper and you’re not helping at all. Please take your hand off of me and walk away. I have a husband who’d cut your hand off right now without batting an eye.” The stranger laughed before leaning close to you. “Woah there, sweetie. Am I supposed to be scared of that?”

“You should be,” your husband said, his voice smooth and his expression tense. “I’m James Patrick March, owner of this hotel and this beautiful woman’s husband and you are a dead man walking.” James offered his hand for the other man to shake. He just looked at him before taking a sip of the drink he ordered. “I’m supposed to be scared of you? Listen up, buddy. I’m going to fuck your wife before the night is over and she’s gonna like it because women are cheating, stuck-up, bitches who leave you with nothing but problems. You’re not gonna do a thing about it, okay, mister owner of Hotel Cortez.”

Liz simply watched, sipping on a drink she made for herself. She tapped the man on his shoulder and shook her head. “Honey, there are many different people at this hotel that you can speak to any kind of way and get away with it. They’ll just take disrespect and walk but Mr. and Mrs. March are the two people that you don’t want to piss off at all. I think you should start apologizing right now and pray to whatever creator you believe in for a slither of mercy and just hope that they’ll answer.” 

“She’s right,” the Countess remarked with a smile. “I’d know,” she said with a giggle before walking away. “Don’t ever touch me again, you fucking dog. You mean nothing to me. Leave this building before I kill you,” you said to the man before you. He wrapped his hand around your throat and James cut his hand off the moment he did it. He gave a look of horror and ran away. You grabbed James’ knife and chased after him. You felt a rush of excitement once you finally realized that this was your chance to kill someone after 3 years of being trapped in this hotel. 

Normally, James never allowed the spilling of blood in The Cortez but this was under different circumstances. James followed you and you smirked once you chased him to one of the dead-end halls. “Looks like you can’t run away from me anymore. I think I’ll do the honors of taking this pathetic man’s life. James, do you mind helping me?” “Not at all, dearest.” Minutes later, you were dragging his body to Liz, informing her that you didn’t want him dying on the Cortez grounds and that he only had a few minutes to die. Liz being the devoted friend she was, found a good place to run and hide his body before walking back in and changing her clothes. 

You hadn’t seen him again and let out a sigh of relief once you saw that the bloodstains had already been cleansed. “Darling,” James called out from behind you, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and bloodstains on the ends. You could see how large his arms were compared to your own, leaving you breathless. “Yes, Mr. March?” He smiled at the name. “You looked so beautiful and ravishing in your prime whilst killing. I almost forgot how captivating you could be during moments of rage. It fascinates me.” You fully turned around now, walking to him.

You leaned into him, your lips close to his. “Does it,” you questioned, breathing into his scent. He didn’t answer, bringing his face down to yours and kissing you. It didn’t take long before the kiss became heated and you were being carried to your shared bedroom. Once he made it in your room, James threw you onto the bed. “Please undress yourself if you’d be so kind. I’ve been waiting all day and I simply think I’ll just permanently die if I have to wait any longer.” You giggled at his dramatic statement, removing your dress and undergarments as quickly as you could without tearing or ripping them. 

You then watched as James took his time to undress, revealing the pretty pale skin that lay beneath the many layers of his clothing. You enjoyed watching him and looking at his naked body. You walked to him, your hands already on him. You touched his skin, soft under your touch. His muscles tensed and relaxed as you traced your hand over his abs. “I’m so little compared to you,” you thought aloud. 

“I know, darling. That’s why I love your form so much.” You clenched your thighs together as you continued to think about it. Something about the way that he towered over you just turned you on. He picked you up, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist as he carried you to your shared bed and gently dropped you. You landed on the soft sheets and he got beside you, his eyes glancing over yours. “Darling, you’re the most ravishing woman I’ve ever seen.” You could feel your face heating up from the way he said those words, looking up at the ceiling in hopes that your shyness would go away. 

He enjoyed you in your flustered state when you were so bold minutes ago. “Sweetheart, look at me.” You did, looking up at the man whom you had the privilege of calling your husband. He took that as his chance to kiss you, his fingers finding your bundle of nerves and pleasuring you as you kissed. You squirmed around, slightly bucking up your hips to feel more. Just as you were about to tip over the edge, you felt him remove his fingers from you. You pouted and almost whined at the loss, causing laughter to emit from him. “You are such a desperate little thing, hmm?” 

You nodded in response. He got on top of you, lining himself up with your opening. His breath hitched as soon as he felt your tight, warm walls around him. “You’re so tight but you always seem to fit me so perfectly,” he stated breathily. You felt him start slowly at first, his strokes and thrusts still deep and forceful as usual. Your moans were sweet and soft, slightly bucking your hips up to your own accord. 

He gradually built up his pace until he was fucking you into the mattress. Your moans became louder and you knew that everyone in the hotel could hear it. Neither of you cared though. It wasn’t like they would tell the owner to stop. He passionately kissed you as you tipped over the edge, squirming and trembling under him. When you came down from your high, you did something very bold that you hadn’t expected to do. You flipped your positions and pinned James down on the bed. By the eager smile on his face, you could tell that he allowed you to do so. It was obvious that he was stronger than you.

“Mm, my dear, what are you trying to do to me?” You lowered down on him, struggling a little to accept all his length inside you. “I’m not trying, sweetheart. I’m doing you.” Before he could laugh from your statement, you were already bouncing and starting a medium pace for yourself. He matched your rhythm, thrusting upward and making you moan his name. You felt so tiny compared to him and you were slightly intimidated by him. The thought aroused you even more. “Fuck, James. I can feel you, mm, so deep in my t-tummy.” He kissed your neck before speaking in your ear. “You like it, don’t you, being so small?” 

“Mm hmm, y-yes James.” You could barely speak as his thrusts became more brutal. Your pace quickened, now focused on your release. With a few more bounces and strokes, you both were cumming together. You choked James as you came, making him cum inside of you faster than expected. You rode him slower, just to calm the two of you down then you got off of him. You both laid down and you laid on his chest. His arm wrapped around you and his face had this look of bliss. “You are extraordinary, my dear. It was quite nice to see you in your element killing such a terrible person.”

You smiled. “I feel the same. Watching you was exciting also.” You tried to hide how much it excited you. “Did you wish to feel me holding a knife against your throat, Y/N? I saw the way you looked at me while I killed.” You tried your best to breathe. “Mm hmm, that would be very nice.” He smiled, slightly nibbling your ear before whispering in it. “Then let us do that, darling. Nothing’s going to stop us.” By the time the day was over, you had been spoken to by a very angry and jealous Ms. Evers. 

[lvxybby]

His Forever (james patrick march x reader)

I checked into a hotel after my night out drinking with my band mates. "Y/N are you sure you dont want us to drive you home?" My band mate eric asked me. "no...i've gotta check out the studio tomorrow...ill just uber there its closer than wasting my gas" I say walking to the check-in desk. "ok then...see you soon...love ya" eric said walking away. "bye Y/N" my other band mate brandon said following eric. i sigh and begin to talk to the front desk lady. "hi can i have a room for one?" i ask politely "sure that'll be $74 dollars" she replied. she turned around and gave me a key "room 64 sweetheart." she spoke with a smile. "thank you have a great night" i say walking off to my room. i see my room and begin to unlock it but i hear a voice...a very fancy voice from behind me "hello dear, enjoying your stay?" the male voice said as i turned around. i looked him up and down...he looked familiar but i couldn't put my finger on it. maybe the alcohol is messing with me. "oh well...i just got here" i reply nicely. the male was dressed very nice. he had a 1920's style. his pencil mustache and slicked back hair made him look so much more attractive. "oh..i see well im james march, the owner of this fine hotel" he stuck his hand out to me. then it snapped. james march was the owner of hotel cortez...he built the hotel and killed its residents. i shook my head thinking its just alcohol. i shook his hand. "well dear you shall get some rest...you seem a bit tipsy" he said bowing a bit. "o-ok have a good night" i say unlocking my door and heading into my room. i set down my things i came in with such as my guitar and small purse with my essentials in it. i look at the room. its very fancy and nice. its large and has a huge bed. i admire the room. it has rather a very sweet smell to it. like caramel. i go over to the window and open it. i pull out my carton of cigarettes and lighter. i light the cancer stick and begin to fill my lungs with the deadly smoke. tonights show was rough. so many people were there and my stage fright almost got the best of me. there was a fist fight at the bar and my guitar string broke while i was playing. it was so rough. me and brandon got into it cause he said he doesnt like the guitar solos i add to the songs, and he wants me to pay for a new bass for him, which i denied. he should pay for his own things. hes a adult who is capable to pay for his own bass. he makes enough money and im not gonna baby him. i realize i burnt all of my cigarette. i sigh before throwing it out the window. i close it and lay on the bed. i end up dozing off. i wake up to the sun light peeking through the window. i sit up and decide its best to get ready since i have to record in the studio today. i reach for my purse and look around for my phone. once i find it i call the taxi company. but no service. i dial again but no service again. i sigh before going to the studios number and dialing it. no answer. straight to voicemail. i sigh and throw my phone on the bed "fuck what am i gonna do?" i ask myself. i grab my pack of cigarettes and take one out before starting to smoke. i inhale the cancerous smoke into my lungs as i try to relieve my stress. before i knew it i ended up smoking the whole pack. the room was filled with the smoke. i threw the carton at the wall. "its ok i can make the appointment another time." i reassure myself. i think to myself before noticing the bedside phone. i pick it up but it was dead silent. not even the soft hum to let you know it was working. i look at the cord and notice it looks like its been chewed through. i slam the phone down. i sigh before going over to the door. my head is pounding from the night before. and that made me remember "the real james march" i sigh before exiting the room i walk down the long hallways but the familiar voice stops me again. "hello dear are you feeling better?" i snap around and see the same male. "james" stood there. it couldnt be him. he died in the 20's i learned about him in history class. now i knew it wasnt the alcohol.

[darkkissx]

The soft kiss of death

🤍🗡️jpm x fem!reader

warnings; suicide, brief mention of mental illness & past suicide attempts.

a/n: I hope you understand some of the things I’m tryna say in this 😭😭💗

now playing;

The shiny blade glistened, staring back at you from the palm of your hand. James was somewhere around the hotel; participating in his little “hobby” that he enjoyed dearly.

You had tried to kill yourself more than once; before you met him. You had planned on going to the Hotel Cortez, just to slit your wrists in the bathtub. That was long before James had saved you; and uncovered the truth of the eerie hotel. He had managed to convince you to stay for a while, to see if you would enjoy the quiet whispers, the blood reeking halls, and the nightly visits from lost souls. In the end, you had grown to accept the hotels signature side affects, just so you could stay by James’ side.

He gave you love, a warm feeling that blossomed in your stomach every time you saw him, or simply by the faint mention of his name; and a roof over your head to protect you from others who wished you harm. James had declared you under his protection, so none of the wandering spirits could touch you; including the living such as the countess and her boyfriend of the week.

You shook your head, riding it of the thoughts that had invaded you like a parasite. You placed the freshly sharpened blade against your left wrist, the cold metal sending shivers up your spine. In a quick motion, you sliced through the vein; in a sickly easy way, as if your flesh was soft butter.

Blood gushed out, staining your white gown a crimson red. You turned to the other wrist, repeating the motion as your vision became blackened. Tears welled in your eyes as you slid down the wall, quite easily due to the slippery red that assisted you with your gentle fall. You would finally join the man you loved with your whole heart. The man you would love for the rest of eternity; even if he stopped loving you.

Your vision faded into black, as you welcomed the soft kiss of death, that feathered lightly upon your now pale cheek.

Your eyes fluttered open, and you were dead. Blood that had now dried a bit, pooled around you and clumped together slightly. You were two skin tones paler than before, and your wrists were no longer in pain.

You got up hesitantly, checking the time. It was 30 minutes after your death. You stumbled to the door, opening it and walking down the hall. You spotted Ms. Evers scrubbing a bloodied sheet and mumbling to herself quietly and passive aggressively. “Hey.” You croaked, your voice a bit scratchy.

Ms. Evers turned around quickly, her eyes widened as they laid upon you. “Oh dear.” She clicked her tongue. “What did you do? You’re all bloody.” She shook her head, seemingly not noticing the deep gashes on your wrists, that now dried blood had trailed down.

You put your wrists in front of her, with a slightly proud smile. “I joined James. But I made a mess. Could you help me clean it?” Her eyes widened once more as she scanned your pale figure.

She clicked her tongue once more, disregarding the bloodied sheets behind her. “Where did you do it?” She asked with her brows knitted together.

“In James’ bathroom.” You offered a small embarrassed smile.

She shook her head. “Oh what a mess.” You heard her sigh, before she walked her way into the hotel room you shared with James. You walked into the room as well, throwing away your bloody gown and slipping on a long sleeved shirt, paired with expensive; yet comfortable pants.

An hour later, Ms. Evers left; the bathroom now spotless and not even a drop of blood remained.

The moon now shined down on you brightly, wrapping your now dead body in a cold hug.

I loud voice had teared your gaze away from the bright moon.

“Hello, darling.” James spoke softly; yet his voice was loud.

“Hi James.” You said, a slight smile tugging the corners of your lips upwards.

He raised a brow as he sniffed the air. “Is that… blood? And bleach?” He asked curiously, before his eyes landed upon your face. “Are you quite alright, dearest? You’re very pale.” He commented, walking up to you and placing his hand on your forehead. “You’re freezing cold, dear.”

“Have you truly not figured it out yet, my love?” You asked, your eyes, which no longer had the shine a living person owns, locking with his.

He raised a brow as you lifted up your sleeves, showing the deep gashes, followed with blood that had crusted around it, and down your arm. A small gasp tore itself from James’ parted lips as he stared down at you. He rushed to you, wrapping your cold body in a tight hug. It was enough to bring tears to your cold eyes, as you wrapped your arms around his neck; attempting to be as close to him as possible.

“But why, my dear?” He whispered softly, pulling from the hug to look you in your eyes.

“I’m getting older, not younger. And my love for you is growing. I couldn’t handle knowing one day I could walk out of this hotel, and get killed. And never see you again. This world is a dangerous place, and the only place I truly feel safe is in your arms, my love.” I admitted, placing a soft kiss to the pale skin of his cheek. He picked you up and brought you to bed. He lied next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist; bringing your body closer to his own.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, than with you. Simply standing in the same room as you is enough to bring butterflies to my stomach.” You breathed out, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

He smiled, rubbing comforting circles into your side.

“I’ve never met a woman, as ravishing as you are. You make my dead heart pulsate with love. I’ve never felt this way before; not even with the woman I thought I loved. You are the woman that I want to watch the world burn with.” He smiled, tucking hair behind your ear softly.

You lied there for the rest of the night, a comforting silence engulfing the both of you as your limbs tangled with one another passionately.

Who knew that death could save your life.

[nobitchs-world]

When you’re eating something soft and you bite into something crunchy

[trueangel420]

precult!Kai Anderson, the female anatomy. ౨ৎ nsfw , bestfriend!reader. wc : 1506

Kai sat next to you on the couch, his laptop resting neatly on his lap. He shifted around, adjusting his gray sweats, before looking at you. You and Kai spent a lot of time together; after all, you had been best friends for years. You knew everything about him—his parents situation, his insecurities—except for one thing: he was definitely a virgin. He was waiting for you to notice him, his eyes glued to you with an amused expression on his face. “What?” you asked, looking up from your notes and leaning over to stare at his computer screen. Your eyes widened as a flashing warning that read 18 or older appeared on the screen. You watched his fingers press “accept” as he entered the X-rated site. “You’re not serious, are you?” you snickered as he moved closer, your knees now touching. “Yes, best friends do this kind of thing all the time,” he argued, as if you’d believe that. Your IQ was just as high as his, if not higher.

“Kai, I’m not watching porn with you.” Kai’s face flushed slightly, but he didn’t back down. “Come on, it’s just for fun,” he said, trying to maintain his confident facade. “Fine,” you huffed, closing your textbooks and focusing on him completely. He didn’t know what to do at this point; he had expected you to say no and put up a fight. But you didn’t, and now here you are, sitting next to him and looking at his laptop.

“So, what now?” you asked, arching an eyebrow. Kai shifted nervously, his bravado faltering. “Uh, I guess we just... watch,” he stammered, clicking on a video. As it started playing, the room filled with slapping noises. You glanced at him, taking in his reaction as his eyes wandered along the screen. It was almost absurd what you were doing, sitting here watching his breaths quicken slightly, the noises becoming louder as he watched it—this definitely wasn’t normal, but it was better than studying all night. You didn’t focus on the laptop, though, only on him, despite the moans and groans and the wet slapping noises.

“Porn isn’t even a good example of female anatomy. Women don’t act like that,” you said, glancing over at him with a slight frown. “Uh, what?” he stammered, the noises from the screen still playing in the background. You let out a groan and pointed at the girl on the screen. “She’s fake moaning,” you explained. “Everyone knows porn actresses are just acting.”

"So…It's just for entertainment. It's all fake?" he asked nervously, his eyes flicking between you and the screen. "Kai," you said, confused. "Are you saying you haven’t figured that out yet? Have you ever...?"

“You’ve fucked before, right?” He felt his body warm up slightly, your blunt words making his erection jump in his pants, and thank God for the laptop; if you’d see his reaction, he wouldn’t know what to do. “I—yeah, I’ve fucked before.” His tone was almost convincing—key word, almost.

You wanted to laugh. You sat up straight, looking at him and leaning on his arm—he could feel your breasts pressing against him. “You’re a virgin, Kai?” You teased as you pressed pause on the video, “You never had sex before?” He couldn’t speak; his dark eyes looked into yours, and he let out a breath. He could feel his cock jump again. He shifted in his seat, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “I’m not a virgin,” he declared, though the words came out more like a desperate attempt to convince himself than a bold assertion.

“Really? Show me,” you blurted out before thinking, your eyes widening in shock. You quickly cleared your throat, ready to backtrack and insist you were joking. The last thing you wanted was for Kai, your best friend, to prove he wasn’t a virgin—not at all. It was as if something primal inside him snapped. He couldn’t articulate the words, but he set the closed laptop on the floor and turned toward you, his Adam’s apple bobbing once more. “Show you?” he murmured, his eyes narrowing slightly as he breathed in deeply. You had intended to laugh it off, to say it was just a joke, but the words stuck in your throat. Instead, you felt a flush creeping across your cheeks—warmth mixing with embarrassment and something else entirely. “Show you?” he repeated, his tone firm as his eyes flicked to your lips for a moment. “You want me to show you that I can fuck?” His voice dripped with confidence now. Your throat went dry, and every instinct urged you to say yes—to nod in agreement. But all you could do was stare at him, caught in the intensity of the moment.

“I can fuck,” he couldn’t; he knew he couldn't, but he’d watch so much porn; surely it can’t be that hard, right? “Kai…” You whispered as he stared at you again, “I’ll show you; let me show you,” he said, his voice strained. “I don’t think that’s—“

You found yourself flat on the couch, your legs settled on his shoulders as he grabbed at your leggings frantically—you panted the excitement making you shiver; he was greedily touching all over you—squeezing places he didn’t know he could squeeze. It was forbidden to him, his own best friend, but he was so starved. "Fuck,” he groaned, grabbing the leggings again and ripping them, the cold air hitting your cunt. god—god, kai jaw was slack as he stared at your lips, his finger touching over the folds, the wetness making him shudder—god he was so close, so close to fucking for the first time, god he was desperate.

“Kai—oh my god,” you gasped. He wasted no time burying himself in you; he’d been erect all day; he knew whether you noticed or not; it didn’t matter now; his cock was in you—well, it was almost in you. “Kai—are you—are you in me?” You stammered. You felt him prodding at you before he shook his head. He felt so deep already that you couldn’t believe it. “Just put it in, okay?” you huffed out, your chest rising and falling as you clenched around him. He inched into you so slowly, so slowly that his eyes glazed over as he stared at you. He pressed his hands on your lower stomach—he’d seen that in a video. “Kai—“ you choked before he slammed down his hips, snapping into yours.

He was overwhelmed, so overwhelmed, and you were too—but this wasn’t your first time; this was his; you couldn’t tell, though, not to with the way he’s rutting into you like an animal in heat. With each thrust making his eyes clench shut, you pawed at his lower stomach, your hands trailing down his vline—he was deep, too deep.

“Kai,” you choked your eyes shut, brimming with tears. You felt yourself whining as the noises came out louder. He pressed his palm harder against your lower stomach; he could feel himself hitting the soft, spongy spot. “Tell me how I feel,” he ordered, his pace still relentless, and all you can do is gasp. You couldn’t answer, not with him knocking against your g-spot. You heard the loud gushing noise as he continued, his lips parted slightly as he rutted slower, trying not to cum. You were so full, so full. “You—you feel—“ You whimpered, your hands pulling him closer. Dignity was overrated anyway. He grabbed your hands this time, pinning them over your head as he speed up again, thrusting into you.

“Oh, my God," you practically screamed out. He let out a huge grumble; he couldn’t hold it any longer, not with you looking like this, your back arching off the couch—he moved his hand off of your wrists to your clit, rubbing it frantically; he needed you to finish before him. You felt your eyes roll back as he kept abusing that spongy soft spot, his fingers rubbing on your clit in a quick circular motion.

He didn't know if this was working, but the way you clenched around him made his hips stutter. He kept going, and you got louder, nearing the brick of overstimulation. “thought you said it was all fake, look at you screaming” his thrusts got more desperate he could feel his stomach tighten and all you could do is whine and moan louder—you won’t be able to talk tomorrow. Dignity was overrated at this point; it didn't matter with him on top of you like this, fucking his seed into you like his life depended on it. “I'm no—“ you felt the warmth pool into you, your eyes widened despite the panicked look you had. You clenched and released around him feeling yourself finish with him. He collapsed on top of you, his breathing shaky, his head nestled in the crook of your neck as he calmed himself down. He’d never admit it was his first time, not with his ego, but it didn’t matter. You were both embracing each other, minds blank and completely spent.

[yes-divine-ruler]

James Patrick March x Fem!Reader Smut - “For Eternity” (18+)

request by @demxnicprxncess &lt;3

CW: reader takes their own life!!!, mentions of James’s horrific necrophilia, negative self-talk, angst, fingering, penetrative sex and fluff <;3

Taglist/ @v-love @evanpetersfav @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @dahmevan @charsdunkie @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @slimshadyvol2 @simp4petermaximoff @happyto-die

Word count: 2296

The hallways of the Hotel Cortez were filled with the macabre screams of your husband's most recent victim. The hotel's occupants were becoming increasingly concerned with the noise, so you took it upon yourself to warn your husband to put a plug on his murderous past time until everyone was at ease. After all, you both still had a business to run and without occupants, James’s blood-thirst would never be satiated.

The loud clacking of your t-strap heels were muted by the carpet once you ascended the stairs to the first floor. Fixing your hair as it fell in your face and smoothing out your drop waist dress, you approached room 64. The wailing had come to a halt, and as your hand hovered over the brass door handle, you thought that maybe it might've been over, and you wouldn't have to disturb your deranged husband at work.

But, deciding you wanted to see him regardless, you pushed open the door. Your hands flew to cover your mouth, tears pricking your eyes at the sight in front of you. James was in the process of slicing his victim with more than one knife, but was also slotted between her legs. You'd seen James kill a multitude of times, your marriage wouldn't work if that was kept secret, but it was unbeknownst to you that he later used them for sexual gratification.

"James?"

His head turns at the sound of your voice, his face falling when he registers what you'd walked in on.

"Darling, you needn't be in here, you know I'm busy," his tone is laced with remorse, as he removes himself from the woman, and tucks himself away.

"What is this?" You ask him, your hands still covering your mouth in shock, now bound to be covered in red lipstick, "you're sleeping with them now?"

Your chest hurt. You were so in love with this man, and nothing could ever convince you to be unfaithful to your marriage. Did he not reciprocate your love? Your absolute devotion seemed to be entirely disregarded; what you’d just witnessed a huge slap in the face. Your husband. Your husband.

"My dear it's not you," James grumbles, pacing towards you, "it satisfies my deepest, darkest desires, so I can then give you the best of me darling."

“Okay. Um-I’m just going to go, leave you to it,” you choke out, turning on your heels and closing the door behind you. Your heart felt like it was completely shattered; you weren’t enough for your husband because you were incapable of making him feel whole. In this moment, nothing anyone could say or do would convince you otherwise.

Marching down the hall with tears running down your face, the image of James with his victim replayed over and over in your mind like a broken record.

“Honey? Are you okay?” Liz Taylor placed a hand reassuringly on your shoulder; you hadn’t even noticed you were passing her.

“Yes, I’m sorry Liz, I have something I must attend to,” you brushed her off, aiming for the stairs and climbing to the penthouse on the highest floor.

Would you be punishing yourself or James more if you decided to retrieve the revolver from the first drawer of your nightstand? You knew that like your husband, you’d be stuck here, for eternity, never able to leave. Despite his overt infidelity, you argued with yourself whether he’d still be devastated with your death. “What did it matter?” You told yourself, reaching for the cold metal barrel of the gun, “he deserves devastation for what he did.”

It crosses your mind that maybe there was no ammunition in the cylinder, and if there was, maybe it was a sign. So you held it to your open mouth, and left your fate up to chance.

Squeezing your eyes shut and choking on woeful sobs, your forefinger rested gently on the trigger. Your whole hand shook as you dropped to your knees, now holding the grip with both hands to try and steady yourself.

Come on, come on, do it. He doesn’t love you, you’re not enough for him, just do it already - your mind was full with the same few whirling thoughts.

“Y/N!”

You opened your eyes as the door suddenly flew open, James standing in his bloodied apron in the doorway. The sight of him had you blink away more tears, shaking your head furiously as he approached you.

“My love- don’t be absurd, put down the gun,” James held his hands out to show he wasn’t a threat as he approached you, his eyes wild with something you didn’t see often, fear. It wasn’t enough for you to deter your eyes from the apron, that you knew he wore while he worked, and it only reminded you of what you walked in on earlier.

“Goodbye James,” your eyes closed again, followed by the fatal pull of the trigger.

You sat up, your eyes opening wide in surprise. You felt light, and numb, and wondered if you were dreaming. When your final moments flashed before you, you knew this wasn’t a dream, for you finally knew what it felt like to be dead. You felt hollow, but the ghost of your heartbeat still pounded in your ears, and you still looked around curiously to see where you’d ended up.

Clothed in a champagne-coloured silk nightgown and tucked tightly in your bed, you searched the familiarity of your bedroom for James. Almost as if he heard you stir and wake, he entered the room, in a white wife-beater and a pair of white underwear.

“You’re awake,” he spoke softly, as if you were made of glass.

You looked at him and noticed his downcast eyes, lowered lip corners, and slanting inner eyebrows. Your senses seemed to work in slow motion as he meandered over to the bed and sat on the edge.

“James? Did I die?” You ask, but you knew it was the same as asking if the sky was blue. To hear him say it would only make it real.

You reached out to grab onto his hand as he offered it to you. Despite how angry and upset you were with him before, it seemed to dissipate when you crossed into the afterlife.

“I’m afraid so, dear,” he answered, biting down on his bottom lip.

“What does this mean?” He laid down beside you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. He already missed the sound of your beating heart.

“You know what this means,” he whispered, “Our souls will be forever trapped here in the Hotel Cortez.”

Your next question was not in sequence with the others, but being once again wrapped in your husband’s arms, it felt right to ask.

“Do you love me James?”

You looked up to capture his reaction, his eyes only shuttering in disbelief as a small chuckle left his lips.

“More than anything, you know that. How obscene!” He manoeuvred you both in the bed to a seated position, “to see you die was by far the worst thing I’d bore witness to.”

James was a man of his word, and he would never lie to you, but you couldn’t help but still feel defeated by what you saw prior to your death.

“Shall I prove it to you?” He suggested when you didn’t respond, as you lay on his chest, slotted between his legs, his back rested on your plush headboard.

You weren’t sure what he might be offering, until his hands caressed the curvature of your hips, and travelled down to your thighs. The feeling of your husband’s hands were enough to make your eyes flutter shut and your lips to part; he knew you were wholly enraptured by his charm.

“My magnificent wife, my right hand woman, for you know I love to pleasure you- I will show you how much I love you,” James whispers in your ear, as his fingers ball up the hem of your nightgown, and grip onto your inner thighs to spread open your legs.

Your ache for him only intensified as he rid of your panties by pulling them down your legs, holding your thigh open with one hand tucked under your leg, bringing the other to his lips. His fingers slotted into his mouth to soak in his own saliva, before they found your clit.

A shuddering breath left your parted lips as he began to rub slow, delicate circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. The wetness of his fingers only made the moment more sensual. His fingers gathered the hair by your neck, placing the strands over your shoulder. He littered gentle kisses down your smooth skin, his lips soft like velvet. Your hands gripped at the sheets beneath you, as you spread your legs further apart to give him access to all of you.

Smiling against your skin, his finger dipped between your slick folds, collecting your already dripping arousal before returning to circle your clit.

“How does that feel my love?” He asks you, your eyes still screwed shut as you focused on the jolts of electricity coursing through your body from your stimulated core.

“So good James, oh my god,” you were already like putty in his hands. His fingers once again came down to your pulsing entrance, and with ease he inserted two fingers knuckle-deep.

A lengthy moan left your lips as his thumb now made work of your clit, his fingers beginning to pump inside you at a slow, steady pace. The room was filled with your noises, proof of your yearning and it was so crude it made a blush flourish across your face.

“You feel amazing, you are truly one of a kind,” James said, “I love how you clench around me.”

His words of praise in your ear had your legs shaking in bliss. His fingers thrust faster inside you, curling up to reach your spot of intense pleasure. Your hand untangled from the sheets to grab ahold of his wrist as he continued to plunge deeper inside you.

“That’s it baby,” he encouraged, “release onto my fingers.”

You reached your peak, closing your legs around James’s hand as he pleasured you through your orgasm. Your loud mewling provoked a low moan from James, who loved to marvel at you through your climaxes.

Once you’d come down from your high, James’s fingers abandoned you, and he moved from behind you, laying you down on the bed. He crawled on-top of you, sliding between your open legs and pulling down his underwear.

“My god I love when you cum, look how turned on I am,” James groaned, stroking his throbbing erection, spreading your arousal down his length.

“Make love to me James,” you begged, biting down on your bottom lip in anticipation for him to enter you.

“My pleasure darling,” he leaned down and connected your lips in a passionate kiss, as he simultaneously lined himself up at your entrance.

You gasped through the kiss as he entered you once again, encouraging him to bite down on your bottom lip and slide his tongue into your mouth. The slight pain of his teeth quickly subsided as his cock stretched out your inner walls, his tongue dancing with yours. It was hard to know where to put your hands, but you opted to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders for some leverage. James bottomed out inside you, hissing between clenched teeth as he felt the full extent of your warmth.

“Just like I said, one of a kind,” he breathed out, his hips beginning to rock to the steady beat of a silent drum. You’d never felt so full, your well-endowed husband the only man to ever perfectly fill you. Your thighs squeezed around his hips, as his thrusts only picked up in pace.

James steadied himself above you with outstretched arms either side of your head, as he continuously brushed against your g-spot. Whimpering, and in a total mess beneath him, your second time coming undone was on the rise.

“Darling, fuck,” James cursed, his own eyes shuttering closed as he felt the distinct tightness in his groin indicating he wouldn’t last for much longer either.

You could feel the telltale twitching of his throbbing cock inside you, arching your back only to have him thrust into you at a better, deeper, angle. It untied the aching knot in your stomach, your walls squeezing around James as you almost screamed at the feeling of your second blissful release.

James came shortly after, coating your inner walls in his warm seed, collapsing atop your shaking body as he came down from his high. You held him to your chest as he left kisses across the skin on your collarbone.

“Do you believe me now?” He spoke into your skin, before raising his head to peer into your tired, hooded eyes.

“Yes, I love you,” you said, kissing his lips once again before pulling away, although you could stay lip locked to him forever.

He pulled out with a wide smile, standing to retrieve his boxers before tucking himself back into bed beside you. His expression turned solemn.

“My love, how foolish it was of you to end your life, to be so cruel to yourself,” he whispered to you, “I never wanted to hurt you.”

You let out a deep sigh, yet you didn’t feel regret about what you did. In the end, you’d be with James until the end of time, and that outweighed the pros of being alive.

“I only need you,” you replied, resting a hand on his toned chest, gripping onto his wife-beater.

It took James a moment to reply.

“And I you, my beauty,” he said finally.

[ellecdc]

hi! i absolutely love your works, particularly your poly!marauders(w/lily). i think you write them so beautifully and harmoniously that you can't help but fall in love with them.

i wanna compliment you on your recent two-parter about remus and the whole revealing the werewolf thing. the angst to fluff had me on the edge of my seat. thank you for writing such a piece! 🤍

i hope its not too much to ask but in part 1, there's a brief mention of sirius receiving letters from i can assume is his family that lily confiscates and the group tends to love on him a bit more. let's say reader isn't in the loop about sirius' family life and she feels a bit sad that she can't comfort sirius like the rest can, and in general feels lost because it's another thing she isn't 'let in on'. i was wondering if you could write a little something on that? maybe some misunderstandings with a fluffy ending?

i hope this is something you're ok w writing 🥹 if not, its ok! still wish u the best always!

this is so sweet - thank you! & thanks for your request - hope you like it!!

pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5

poly!marauders + lily x fem!reader who find's her own way to comfort Sirius - 2.1k

CW: brief mention of Sirius' childhood, allusions to anxiety, our shy Hufflepuff reader, hurt comfort, Sirius-centric

There was this saying that you never really understood before.

Love makes you do crazy things. 

And while the definition of crazy may be up for debate, you’re quite sure it could be understood as acting completely out of character.

So here you were, acting completely out of character; voluntarily marching towards a secluded end of the library where three Slytherin’s were sitting that you had - up until this point - managed to avoid completely. 

But you couldn’t, wouldn’t, avoid them any longer; not now, not for Sirius. 

The dust settled relatively well after the news of Remus’ lycanthropy had been shared with you; the five of you seemed to find a sort of freedom in not having to hide from one another anymore. Remus could be himself, the other’s could love him appropriately, and you could too. 

But another one of those black envelopes with  a green wax seal showed up at breakfast yesterday, and the group delved into their usual hide-the-envelope-and-coddle-Sirius practice. 

Lily took the envelope and disposed of it, James and Sirius had a floo call with the Potter’s, and Remus’ mum and dad sent baked goods from Wales via owl. 

You had since gathered that these letters were coming from his parents, or at the very least from someone in the Black family; you had also gathered that the contents of the letter’s were hurtful or upsetting to Sirius. And even though he never got to read them, a heavy cloud seemed to form and follow the young ex-heir around. 

And your heart felt heavy; not because they were keeping anything from you, per se, but rather because they seemed to have a routine that didn’t include you.

And while you didn’t want to encroach in spaces that you weren’t necessarily invited in, you couldn’t help but feel like you should be doing more. 

Lily, James, and Remus all had something they could offer Sirius; they all had some way that they could support him. 

You didn’t.

And it wasn’t for a lack of trying on your part, but rather that no one seemed particularly inclined to burden you with any negativity. 

“Don’t worry about me, babydoll; this is standard Black stuff. I’ll be just fine.” Sirius had said when you asked if he was okay; his usual salacious smile significantly dimmed as it seemingly took the majority of his effort in his response. 

The others hadn’t been much help either; Remus and James effectively telling you that you were too sweet to have to worry about such horrid people, and Lily trying to assure you that they had it under control and not to worry - Sirius would be okay. 

And that was all well and good, but it wasn’t enough for you - it was about sodding time you started pulling your weight in this relationship.

So - with nothing more than the teeniest bit of courage you were sure you pilfered from your four Gryffindors and perhaps a healthy dose of delusion - you forced your feet to take you in the direction of the only person in the entire castle you thought might possibly be able to help you. 

“My, my, my; to what do we owe the absolute pleasure, little Puffle?” Barty Crouch Junior mocked as you paused at their table; Evan Rosier and Regulus Black picking their heads up to look at you incredulously and bemusedly respectful. 

“Did ya get lost there, L/N? Need me to find you one of your Gryffindor’s?” Evan taunted, earning him what looked like a kick in the shin from Regulus, though you couldn’t be certain on account of the table impeding your view.

“Erm…I-I was sort of wondering if I could speak with you, Regulus?” You managed to murmur awkwardly.

The three Slytherin’s seemed to have a silent conversation as they shared glances before Barty shrugged and Evan rolled his eyes; both standing and leaving the two of you some privacy. 

Regulus watched as you cast a hasty muffliato around the table - another trick you’d picked up from the Gryffindor’s - and as you helped yourself to a seat with your boyfriend’s younger brother. 

“Is Sirius okay?” Regulus asked quickly, his voice no more than an urgent whisper as he looked at you imploringly.

His intensity caught you off guard; you were so certain getting anything out of the notoriously stand-offish Slytherin would be next to impossible, but he had beat you to the conversation and seemed to be just as worried about his brother as you were. 

You remembered then why you liked Slytherin’s so much; you often found a kindred spirit in them, for one thing that a Slytherin valued most was a sense of loyalty.

Well, didn’t you have enough loyalty to use to your advantage. 

You wondered rather belatedly if you had overstepped. It was admittedly too late to ask yourself this now; standing outside of the boys’ dorm with a package in your hand.

What’s done is done. You had a one-track mind, and that was to help Sirius.

With this, you raised your hand and gently knocked on the door.

It had been James to open the door; his jaw tense until he saw you, which seemed to cause his face to melt into an awkward expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

“Hi angel.” He greeted apologetically. “You okay?”

You were confused by his greeting, and his question, and the fact that he hadn’t moved out of the way of the door to invite you in as he usually did.

“I’m fine.” You responded quickly, trying to look behind him. “What’s wrong?”

James made a sound of discomfort in the back of his throat as he looked over his shoulder, still not moving to allow you entry. 

“Listen, sweetheart; I’m not sure now is a great time…”

“It’s Sirius, is it?” You asked quickly. His responding grimace proving your suspicions. “I need to see him.”

“Sweets, maybe you could come back la-”

But later wasn’t good enough, you see. You had a one-track mind, and that was to help Sirius.

So, in the name of love making you do crazy things and still acting completely out of character for you, you shoved your way past James’ hip, bending under his arm to allow yourself your own entrance to the boys’ dormitory. 

Lily sat at the end of Sirius’ bed where she had one hand resting on his ankle; her thumb stroking back-and-forth over his achilles tendon.

Remus sat against the headboard with Sirius in his arms; his lips pressed against his hair as he murmured sweet nothings to him.

And as you stepped closer, you could see an indent where James had been sitting, opposite of Lily likely serving the same support as your red-headed girlfriend.

“Siri?” You asked quietly, causing him to stiffen significantly before sitting up and feigning nonchalance.

“Hi doll.” He croaked then, wiping angrily at the tear tracks on his face and pasting on a smile. “Didn’t mean for you to see me like this. What’s up?”

You hated the faux blase act he was putting on for your sake, but you reminded yourself why you were here.

To help.

“I have something for you.” You offered quietly, procuring the parchment wrapped package and holding it out for him. 

“Awe.” He chuckled wetly with a sniffle. “You didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Well, I suppose I can’t take all the credit for it.” You replied, watching him pause in the process of opening to look at you in confusion.

“Open it.” You encouraged.

He finished ripping the parchment from the box before lifting the lid.

You felt your heart stop as the lid fell unceremoniously from his hands and a small gasp left his lips at the sight of the small, stuffed black cat sitting inside.

You’d spent the afternoon learning about the tail of two toys; Splash the cat and Padfoot the dog. The only toys the two young Black family boys were given came from their Uncle Alphard in the form of a plush cat and a plush dog; both with black fur as a nod to the family name and the boys’ hair colour. 

Even though Uncle Alphard had given the dog to Sirius and the cat to Regulus, the boys often traded, depending on their current circumstances. 

You learned that when Sirius went to Hogwarts, he had left with the cat. 

When he returned home after having been sorted into the wrong house, Regulus had given him the dog.

And when Regulus joined Sirius at Hogwarts only to be ripped from his brother - possibly for good - after being sorted into Slytherin, he pilfered the dog from Sirius and left him with the cat.

They never discussed those plush toys again.

And when Sirius fled Grimmauld place one horrible night in June between fifth and sixth year, he left with nothing but his wand, the clothes on his back, and his school trunk.

Left behind was poor Splash the cat.

Regulus - fearing his mother would go on a warpath and completely destroy everything in Sirius’ room - quickly grabbed the cat and had kept it hidden in his school trunk ever since.

Until today. Until now.

Now, he left Splash with you; trusting that you would return him to his person, the one who needed him the most.

“How…” Sirius whispered as he quietly pulled the plush toy from the box; hands painfully gentle as if the toy would simply turn to ash should he jostle it. “Where did you get this?”

“I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you’re asking.” You tried to joke in an attempt to keep the moment light. Sirius simply turned his disbelieving gaze from the toy to you.

“You spoke with him?”

Suddenly, your fears that you had completely overstepped came flooding back; a nervous sort of nausea settling deep within your stomach that threatened to make this awkward moment horribly worse.

“I…I did- I didn’t say anything, of course! Because there was nothing to say, because I don’t actually know anything, which is fine too! I just…I couldn’t…well, you see, I just had to do something, you know? I couldn’t just-”

Your ramblings were (thankfully) cut off when the air nearly completely left your lungs as Sirius attached himself to your middle; his arms winding tightly around your body where they met in the middle of your back. You could feel the impression of Splash against your back from where he was still in Sirius’ grasp.

“I’m sorry if I upset you - I know it wasn’t my place, but-”

“You’re incredible.” Sirius whispered then. “I can’t believe you’d do this for me.”

“You’re not mad?” You whispered back, causing Sirius to pull away from you, only far enough to be able to look into your eyes with ill-hidden admiration. 

“My sweet shy girl; approaching Slytherin’s for me.” He murmured, causing Remus and Lily to snort and James to gawk.

“You did what!?” 

“You do know that a quarter of our school is made up of Slytherin’s, right?” You asked James then; Sirius pulling you back into his chest when you dared to remove your gaze from him.

“That’s entirely too many Slytherin’s, my girl.” James muttered, though he relented in his admonishment of you for your crime of daring to speak to your classmates in order to sit beside your other two lovers. 

“I can’t believe he gave this to you.” Sirius whispered; holding the cat up behind your back so he could examine it over your shoulder.

“He didn’t give it to me, Sirius.” You whispered back as you pulled away from him so you could look into his eyes. “You have a lot of people in your corner; more than you know.” 

His eyes seemed to well again, though he didn’t look nearly as heartbroken as he did when you first walked in, so you counted that as a win. 

“What did I do to deserve you, hm?” He asked then before pressing a lingering kiss to your lips.

You’re sure you could have counted at least seventeen ways in which Sirius Black deserved the nicest things you had to offer, but right now you were more focused on the feel of his lips against yours.

If love made you do crazy things, and those crazy things brought you to this; this being Sirius moulding himself to you as if he hoped he could make a home for himself inside of your soul, then you would happily spend the rest of you life mad as one could be.

You hadn’t fixed anything, not by a longshot; but you had helped, even if only just a little.

His lips tasted of salt and perhaps some sadness, but also of hope.

And for now, that was enough.

[imtryingbuck]

His Flower.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Y/n have known each other since they were babies, they love each other but don’t say anything until Bucky goes to war.

Word count: 11,963

Warnings: angst. fluff. mentions of cheating (not Bucky) mentions of domestic abuse. Swearing. Steve never visits Peggy when she’s old. Bucky knew about Steve getting the serum. Pregnancy. Sad Bucky (that’s a warning in itself) Bucky was accused of the bombing in Vienna in 2015 in this. Blip happens but none of the avengers get blipped nor do any of them die. There’s a lot…so if I’ve missed anything please let me know

Masterlist

May 21st 1922

“Y/n stop running!”

“No”

��Why?”

“You have the lurgy”

Winnie and Y/m/n was standing in the shared courtyard laughing at the two five year olds as James ran after Y/n, the latter running as fast as her little legs could move.

The two women became friends rather quickly after Y/n, her mom and dad moved in next door just when Y/n was a year old. Baby James and Y/n spent everyday since they were introduced to each other, together.

“Those two…” Winnie laughed with a shake of her head as James finally grabs ahold of Y/n, her screams of laughter makes both mothers laugh along.

That was until the screams of laughter turns in to screams of pain.

James tripped over a loose concrete slab, in turn knocking into Y/n causing her to fall face first on the ground. Smacking her face and cracking her tooth.

“I-I-I’m sor-sorry Y/n I’m sorry” James cried backing up as their mothers came rushing over. His tiny hands shook as tears streamed down his puffy cheeks, he could see the blood flowing from her lips when her mom picked her up.

“Mo-momma it wa-was acciden-t I promise”

“I know sweetie, it’s okay” Winnie said after she helped her friend. Seeing her son shaking and crying as he backs up to the wall furthest away from them broke her heart, she and Y/m/n knew it was an accident and they both knew that James would never hurt his friend.

“I-it was accident” he hiccuped.

“Wan’ Jamie, mama wan’ Jamie”

Hearing her teary voice he pushed himself off the wall and ran around his ma going straight to Y/n. “I got you” whispering in to her hair as he wraps his arms around her.

December 24th 1922

As the fire crackled next to James and Y/n as they played with his toy trains and cars Y/n’s parents argued in the kitchen, from what Y/n could tell from this latest argument was that her dad had been fucking another woman. Again.

“Jamie what fucking mean?”

“I don’t know. I think it makes you cry”

“Mama always cries when dada fucking other women”

James shrugs, honestly feeling a little bit scared because of the raised voices and things being slammed down on the counters though he was just five years old he was trying to be brave in front of his friend.

The voices got louder as Y/n’s mom was pushing her dad into the hallway, screaming at him that this was the last time and for him to never come back. A photo frame that hung up on the wall falls and smashes loudly on the floor causing James to flinch, Y/n notices and takes his hand in hers smiling - she’s grown accustomed to the bangs, screaming matches and things being broken that it doesn’t bother her anymore.

James flinched once again when the front door opens and slams shut with a deafening bang. His scared wide eyes looked at Y/n’s, she gets up and moves to sit next to him as her mom screams once more and stomps up the stairs no doubt to chuck all of her fathers clothes out of the window.

“I got you”

She promised as she wraps her small arms around his body.

March 10th 1923

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE”

Y/n screamed as she ran over to him, she was so excited for his birthday she had made him a card and got him a new wooden train.

“Ahhh who are you little monster?” He screamed when she jumped on his back.

“‘M not a monster”

“You are”

“Not”

“Are”

“Kids stop arguing, you’re both monsters” Winnie laughed hugging Y/m/n.

“It’s my birthday Flower”

“No it’s my birthday”

“No it isn’t”

Both moms roll their eyes as the kids continue to argue, heading into the kitchen leaving both of them to stand in the hallway arguing.

Y/m/n was sipping the coffee that Winnie had made her, Winnie expressed how happy she was for her friend for not taking back her husband, though finding it sad that he hadn’t been around to see Y/n. Luckily George stepped up and had even brought the five year old a present for Christmas.

“Mama where is present?” Y/n asked running up to her mom.

“Here sweetie and here’s the card you made” handing over the present and card, Y/n smiled and thanked her.

“Here you go Jamie. I made the card all by myself!”

“Thank you Flower” opening the card he smiles at her messy handwriting and the drawing of him and her that she drew. James gave her a kiss on her cheek before handing the card over to Winnie, then he opened the brown paper wrapping. “Flower…”

“It’s a train Jamie”

“I-thank you so much!” James had his other one stolen from Jimmy who lived across the street, mean kid who loved to bully younger kids.

“It’s okay. Do you like it?”

“I love it Flower”

June 2nd 1930

James and Y/n were walking down the street talking about how school went when James grabbed her hand causing her to pull it away and blush, giggling when he tried to grab her again.

“Flower stop, listen do you hear that?”

“No-wait now I do, what is it? Do you think it’s an animal? Can we keep it?”

“Yeah because animals can speak” he rolls his eyes, moving towards the entrance of the alleyway where the noise was coming from he turned to Y/n “stay here-“

“No I’m coming with you!”

“No you’re not. Just stay here”

Nodding in defeat Y/n watched him walk down the alleyway, a few minutes later she sees Jimmy and his goons running out and down the street. Running in the direction that James went she came to a halt when she saw him picking up a guy who was a lot smaller than him.

“Jamie who’s that?”

“Flower I told you stay where I told you to”

“Who is that?”

“M-my names Steve” the blonde said fixing his shirt.

“Hello Steve my names Y/n and this is James” moving closer to them she held her hand out to the blonde, turning to James “can we keep him?”

“Y/n he’s not an animal”

“But can we? We can be best friends forever and ever and ever and-“

“I’m sorry about her, she gets a bit excited sometimes” James said to Steve both watching Y/n go bright red as she continued to say ‘and ever’. “Flower breath”

“And ever and ever, please Jamie can we keep him I’ll be good forever and ever and ever-“

“Do you want to be our friend? Please say yes just to shut this one up”

Steve looked at both of them debating whether or not this was a prank, he’d gotten so use to being alone that the prospect of having two new friends scared him. But he could see the hopeful look in Y/n’s and James’s eyes, maybe just maybe this wasn’t a prank and maybe they genuinely want to be his friend.

“So…” Y/n asked getting impatient.

“O-ok, yes I’ll be your friend”

“Amazing! Come on we’re going to Mollys to get a burger-“

“And a milkshake! Have you ever been to Mollys? They make the best milkshake ever don’t they Jamie, they do so Stevie I swear”

“I apologise for her” James started.

Steve just smiled and shook his head “it’s okay bu-but I don’t have any money so I can’t come with you”

“Don’t worry about it Stevie I’ll pay for you. My father’s dead so we got money” Steve’s eyes went wide at how nonchalantly Y/n said that her father was dead.

“I-I’m sorry-“

“Don’t be I didn’t like him, so what milkshake do you want? They have vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. My favourite is strawberry and chocolate and Jamies is chocolate”

“Oh I-I’ve never had-“

James rolled his eyes as he knew what was coming. Steve looked at him wondering what he had said wrong when Y/n loudly gasped and threw herself on the ground.

“Flower-“

“He. Has. Never. Had. Milkshake. Before. Jamie”

“I know-“

“I-how, how does this even happen?”

“You going to get off the floor?”

“I can’t”

James leans over to take her hand in his and helped her stand. “Next time don’t throw yourself on the ground, your ma will get mad at you for ruining your skirt again”

“Come on Steve I’m going to blow your mind with the best milkshake in the world” ignoring James’s words she grabbed Steve’s hand and started to drag him to Mollys.

“Flower stop dragging him and be careful!”

To be truthful Steve didn’t honestly mind that she was dragging him along the pavement, he was quite excited about trying something new.

“Sooo whatcha think?” Y/n asked as soon as the glass was put in front of him.

“Flower he hasn’t even tried it yet” James laughed though he did have to admit that he was also wondering what his new friend was going to think of the drink.

Taking the straw in his mouth he took slow sips, liking the way it tasted straight away. “It’s good, I like it”

“Yes!” Y/n screamed causing some of the customers to look at her, not like she cared.

Luanne came over to serve them, she was an older lady who had grown use to the antics that James and Y/n liked to cause. As soon as she saw the two coming down the street she always had their milkshakes at the ready, knowing that on Monday, Tuesday and Friday Y/n had strawberry and the other days chocolate.

“Your usual darlings?”

“Yes please, Stevie what do you want?”

“I-I don’t have mo-“

“It’s on me I told you. We get burger and fries and they are the best”

“I-are you sure?”

“The best ever I promise”

“N-no about buying me food…you’ve already brought me a drink”

“Don’t be silly, do you want the same at us?”

“Okay, thank you”

Luanne smiled and walked away back to behind the counter. Steve watched as James or Bucky as he told him to call him, put his arm around Y/n’s shoulder and point at someone walking down the street. He couldn’t help but smile when Y/n laughed at whatever Bucky had said.

The food had come and true to her word it was amazing, Luanne came back over to hand them new drinks winking at Y/n who winked back, he found out that the second milkshakes were free. For the first time in Steve’s life he laughed and smiled genuinely, he had no idea that being beat up in some dingy alleyway would lead him to be making two new friends who actually seemed like they cared about him already.

Steve knew he had made two friends for life.

14th February 1931

“Hey Stevie” Y/n sang as she skipped up to him.

“Hey Y/n/n you still doing that?” Referring to her skipping, it was a new phase she was going through. Every where she went she skipped.

“Of course” she giggled.

“Where’s Bucky?”

“With his girlfriend” she grumbled. Poor James thought his best friend liked his girlfriend but Steve observant as always knew that this was indeed not the case.

“Yo-you still don’t like her I guess?”

“No. Are you okay? Is your eczema play-“

“Asthma, Y/n I have asthma”

“Oh yeah ah, is it playing up today?” Receiving a nod she nods too. “How about we walk super slow so you can catch your breath”

“I-I need to g-get back to home, n-need to help ma cle-clean up”

“That’s okay I’ll help you and your mom I don’t mind”

“A-ar-are you sure?”

“Of course, plus I’ve missed your mom”

Arriving at the Rogers’s residence Sarah greeted Y/n with a tight hug and a kiss to her cheek happy to see the young girl again. Ten minutes into cleaning Y/n told Steve to sit down as his asthma was getting worse, Sarah tried to help out but Y/n just shook her head and told her that it was fine.

She truly didn’t mind helping in cleaning up, she had grown use to having to do it at home since her mom was always working and her step father was too lazy and drunk most of the time to do it.

A year after kicking her father out of the house for the last time her mom got divorced from him as he was wanting to marry the woman he had been cheating on her with. Unfortunately her mom married another lazy man who only thought of himself.

But her mom was happy so Y/n was happy for her.

When her father died for some reason her mom received all his money. Which it had annoyed his new wife tremendously.

“It’s getting late darling, you should head home-oh just before you go here’s some mon-“

“No need to Mrs Sarah, I’ll see you tomorrow Stevie”

Waving goodbye and leaving the house before Sarah could argue about giving her money, skipping down the street she didn’t realise how dark it was when she was in the warm home that belonged to the Rogers.

As she got closer to home she came to a stop when she heard strange noises come from an alleyway, choosing to inspect the sounds she crept down the dark path, furrowing her eyebrows at hearing two different voices she was about to pop her head around before freezing.

“Oh Bucky” a girl moaned.

Slapping her hand across her mouth she started to stumble back. Of course she knew that James was going to be having sex, he was handsome and every girl wanted him, and of course she knew what they was doing she wasn’t stupid but hearing what followed after the girl moaned broke her heart.

He called his girlfriend Flower.

The name that he had always called her he was now calling someone else it. It was her nickname that he gave her since they was four and now he was calling some girl he had been dating for two months her name.

It broke her heart.

For three weeks she had managed to successfully avoid James she knew it was silly for not talking to her best friend over a nickname that he had every right to call someone else but she just couldn’t help but feel down knowing that she wasn’t his flower anymore.

“Y/n, Bucky and Steve’s here for you” her mom shouted from the door, she could hear her talking to them from where she was stood at from the top of the stairs.

Her heart dropped when her mom told both boys just to head up to her room. Scrambling and knocking over her little brother she ran into her room, shutting the door quietly before jumping on the springy mattress causing the metal bed frame to squeak loudly.

“Knock knock little monster” she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Come in” and she also knew that he would be frowning at her response, it wasn’t the usual one she gave him.

“Hi Flower” if he noticed her tensing he didn’t say anything about it.

“Hi Y/n/n”

“Hi boys. What are you doing here?”

“Missed you, you haven’t been around much” James said watching her reaction.

“I’ve been busy” she shrugged. It wasn’t a total lie but wasn’t the whole truth either.

“Doing?” James knew that she was lying, whenever she did she could never look him in the eyes.

“Things”

“What kind of things?”

“Things James! I do not understand why you are so nosey”

“Because I miss my Flower” stating it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He frowned when she flinched at his nickname for her. “W-what was that for? Why did you flinch”

“I-I don’t know what your talking about”

“You flinched when I called you Flower”

“You did Y/n” Steve interrupted, he did hate having to come in between his best friends but he knew that if he didn’t it would probably go on and on.

“I-“ sighing with a huff she shrugged her shoulders. She knew James better than anyone she knew he wasn’t going to give up any time soon. “I heard you”

“Heard me? What are you talking about?”

“Calling your girlfriend Flower”

“I-I’ve never-”

“In the alleyway when you were having sex”

Steve shifted awkwardly on his feet whilst James stood still like a statue. He couldn’t understand what the problem was, so what he was having sex at least it was with his girlfriend, why would his best friend be upset about that?

“You called her Flower James.”

Oh. Oh shit.

“I-you-it-“

“Whatever it’s just a nickname right? I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken to you in weeks but it hurt Jamie, but she’s your girlfriend-“

“I broke up with her”

“Right…so can we be friends again?”

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I broke up with her?”

“No. I just want to be your flower again”

“You’ve always have been Y/n, nobody will take that away from you”

Sliding off the bed she jumped on James, wrapping her arms and legs around him hugging him like she had never done before.

Yes it hurt because he had called someone else the name he had given her but she realised she was being silly for not talking to him over it, he was her best friend as well as Steve and that’s all that mattered.

December 10th 1941

The Second World War had been going on for three years and now America was getting involved after the attack on Pearl Harbour, it’s all everyone spoke about, before there was young men leaving their homes and families to go over to Britain to help fight, a fight they had no reason to be apart off other than to help beat the bad guys, now no one had a choice but to fight.

When James told Y/n that he too enlisted in the army it crushed her heart, she knew he was doing it to help defend his country but that didn’t stop her from being scared. Scared of losing him.

“I can do this all day” Steve panted as the guy tried to get closer to him and Y/n. Y/n couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Steve’s confidence, she knew that he could not in fact do this all day. His asthma was getting the better of him.

Just as Steve was about to leap forward to defend himself and Y/n the guy was pulled away by the scruff of his jacket.

“Pick on someone your own size” James kicked the guy away, watching as the bully scramble away.

Y/n and Steve stood there frozen on the spot at seeing James dressed in his uniform.

It was really happening. She was going to lose her best friend.

���Why are you wearing that?”

“Because I’m a pirate. I’ve been recruited Flower, I ship out tomorrow” though James had a smile on his face his stomach churned at reminding himself of when he was going to fight, churned at not knowing when he was going to see his Flower or Steve again or if he ever would.

“Tomorrow? T-that’s not enough time-no Jamie you can’t-“

“I have to Y/n-“

“Tell them no.”

“You want me to tell the US Army no?”

“Yes”

“Flower”

“Or I’ll do it if your to chicken”

“Chicken? Really?”

“Guys stop arguing.” Steve tried to intervene but it was too late. He watched as his two best friends argued back and forth, feeling annoyed at the fact that he had been rejected once again no matter what name he used or what area he said he was from. And yet his best friend had been accepted by the Army and was allowed to go and fight against the bad guys.

“Anyway come on, we’re going to the Stark Expo”

What James failed to mention to the pair that he had a date with Connie or was it Bonnie? He couldn’t actually remember but whoever he was going on a date with the other girl was for Steve, he felt slightly bad that Y/n would have to be fifth wheeling even if he knew that she would end up leaving under the arm of some guy.

“-so I told him that he had to look after his own children you know? And guess what he said to me-Stevie? Ste-not again” Y/n muttered when she realised that not only had she been talking to herself for god knows how long, but when she turned around she saw the small frame of her best friend going into a recruiting tent that was set up at the Expo.

Following after him she watched as he went into a small makeshift room, entering she laughed when Steve tried to cover his naked chest.

“Steve seriously? You can’t keep doing this-“

“Why not? I can fight, just because I’m smaller then everyone including you doesn’t mean that I can’t help“

“You’d be killed straight away Steven!”

“So what?”

“So what? Steve-“

“I’ve agreed to be part of a science project for a doctor-“

“A science project? Steve what the hell are you talking about?”

“I-it doesn’t matter what does matter is that I’ve been accepted and I’m going to war”

“No. I forbid you from going”

“Forbid me?” Steve scoffed finding her behaviour stupid. He wanted to do that right thing and she was forbidding it. Ridiculous. “You can’t stop me Y/n”

“I-I don’t want to lose you too”

“What are you talking about? Buck will be fine”

“He might not Steve you don’t know this. I can’t-don’t want to lose my best friends please just stay with me here an-and wait for Ja-“

“No Y/n I’m doing this! Stop being selfish”

Being called selfish had whatever response she was going to reply back with to die on her tongue. Y/n was called selfish time and time again by her step father when she wouldn’t look after her siblings, his children. She had grown to detest that word, hated to be called it which James and Steve knew.

Steve instantly knew that he had messed up but before he could apologise he watched his best friend nod, spin on her heels and walked out.

James looked around with a smile on his lips when the flying car got higher off the ground frowning when he didn’t see Flower or Steve, his eyes darted around to find them, his left eye twitched slightly when he saw Y/n coming out of the recruiting tent he knew she had probably tried to talk to Steve out of signing up. 

Ever since the war was declared Steve had become slightly obsessed with going on the front lines along with the rest of the hero’s and fight. James and Y/n took it in turns to get Steve away from the recruiting centres, took it in turns comforting him when he got turned down because of his health problems.

Leaving the girls where they were he went to find Steve to see what had happened. “Steve seriously man just give up”

“Don’t start Buck I’ve had enough of Y/n trying to stop me.” Steve told Bucky how Dr Erskine had given him the opportunity of joining the war to the whole conversation between him and Y/n, he quietly told his best friend that he had called their friend selfish.

“You called her selfish? Steve!”

“I know okay I know I messed up but-“

“Did she say where she was going?”

“No, I thought she was going to find you”

Bucky goes to reply when he gets interrupted by the two girls that he and Steve were meant to be on a date with, asking if they were still going dancing, James sighed before telling them no he had other plans. The girls wasn’t happy but James didn’t care, he needed to find his Flower.

Saying his goodbyes to Steve he turned on his heels to go to Y/n’s house.

Knocking on the door he waited patiently for someone to open, Y/n’s little sister opened and smiled instantly showing Bucky her missing front teeth. “Y/ns in her room”

“Thanks little one”

“‘M not little anymore!” She pouted, the same pout that reminded him of Y/n’s when she was younger.

“No, no you’re not” ruffling her hair he laughed when she tried to hit him, he’s always had a habit of winding up their younger siblings.

Bounding up the stairs nearly tripping over the toy train that belonged to her younger brother he turned the corner and knocked on Y/n’s bedroom door.

“Go away”

“Wow that’s rude Flower”

“Jamie?”

“Who else is calling you flower?”

“No one”

“Are you going let me in or we going to keep talking with a door in between us?”

“You may enter”

Entering her bedroom his heart clenched in his chest at seeing her eyes and cheeks red, tear strained track marks on her puffy cheeks. Ever since they were young he’s always hated seeing her cry.

His stomach dropping when he sees the photograph in her hands, knowing exactly which one it was. James had dragged Y/n and Steve to Coney Island for the day, James made Steve go on the Cyclone which was absolutely terrifying yet amazing at the same time. Steve didn’t quite enjoy it like Bucky or Y/n as he vomited pretty much everywhere.

Winnie, had taken the photo that morning they were standing outside the home James grew up in, smiling at the camera. Y/n in the middle of the two guys, Bucky had his arm around her shoulder and she had hers around Steve.

It was the only photo she had of the three of them.

“Flower…”

“He’s leaving me too, a doctor-a scientist has told him that he can join if he takes part in an experiment James. I-I don’t want to lose you both Jamie”

“Hey-hey your not losing either one of us doll-“

“But I am. This war is dangerous and if I lose either one of you I-I-“

“I promise you that I’ll come back-“

“You can’t promise me that Buck”

“I’m with you ‘til the end of the line, you know this. And I’ll always come back to you Y/n, always. Especially if you let me make an honest woman out of you” his voice went quieter, serious, hopeful that she would hear the genuine words that he spoke.

“You…want to-after going on a date with someone else on your last night of freedom-want to make an honest woman out of me?”

“I, yes. Y/n flower it’s always been you”

“I should be the one making an honest woman out of you-wait-what?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her facial expression when she finally registers his words “I’ve been in love with you for so long Y/n”

“And you’re telling me this the night before you ship off to god knows where?”

“You know me Flower, I’ve always been good with timing”

“You really aren’t” she laughed.

“Am too. But what do you say? When I get back I’ll marry you, get us a nice house maybe on a farm? We can have all the animals you want-yes even a dinosaur even though they don’t exist-and we’ll have children, and we can be happy forever”

“Y-you really want that with me?”

“There’s no one else in this world that I want that life with Flower”

Instead of verbally answering she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and nodding so fast Bucky thought her head might fall off. Bucky held her face in between his hands just staring at her, he knew that she would never see herself in the same way he has always seen her, he lent in pressing his lips to hers hopefully being able to show her how much he loved her without saying those words out loud.

That night they slept arm in arm with one another both equally dreading for the sun to come up.

When the sun finally made an appearance, he left with the promise that he would be back in an hour so that their families could walk him to the docks, and not without stealing another kiss from her.

Hand in hand an hour later with Winnie, Rebecca, Y/m/n, Y/n’s stepdad and siblings met up with Steve who was waiting outside Mollys with three milkshakes. Everyone walked ahead whilst the three best friends walked slowly behind them, wanting to try and delay the inevitable.

“My promise still stands Flower, I’ll come home and we’ll have the perfect life together. I promise”

“You best come home to me then Jamie or I’ll beat you up”

“Wouldn’t doubt that for a second” he chuckled, everyone else joins in. “I promise to be safe and come home to you Flower. And I’ll write to you when I can okay?”

“I’ll write back to you I promise.”

When the last signal called for all soldiers to get on the ship, Bucky swallowed the sob that tried to make its way out of his plumb lips. Hugging his ma and sister one last time, and his best friends mom and siblings before making his way to Steve, hugging Steve he asked the blonde to look after Y/n which Steve promised he would. Standing in front of Y/n he smiled sadly and wiped her tears away before kissing her one last time, he’d already grown addicted to the way she tasted and the way her lips fit perfectly against his.

He couldn’t wait until he got back so he could spend the rest of his life kissing her.

March 15th 1942

“Y/n there’s a letter here for you!” Her little sister shouted from the bottom of the stairs, there was only one person that would be writing to her, hearing her sister she fell out of the bed with how fast she was trying to get out of it, running down the stairs she grabbed the letter out of her sisters hand.

“Y/n slow down” her mom tried to warn her but it was no use she was already running back upstairs. The excitement getting the better of her. Ripping open the envelope she settled back on her bed.

***

Dear Flower,

It’s been three months since I last saw you and I’m missing you more and more everyday, how are you? Have you been missing me? How’s Steve been? I’ve wrote to him too but I know you’ll tell me the truth.

I’m still holding on to my promise I made so don’t be finding any other man, please.

I’m sorry it’s not the longest letter but I don’t have much time, I’m sorry.

I love you Flower, I should have told you that the last time I saw you but just know I do with all my heart, I’ll see you soon.

All my love

Your Jamie.

***

“So…what did he say?” Y/n was so engrossed in the letter she didn’t hear her bedroom door squeak open or see her mom and sister standing in the doorway.

“H-he said he loves me, momma he loves me”

“Have you only just noticed?”

“What?”

“That boy has been in love with you for as long as I can recall” her mom said as matter of factly.

“I-I need paper a-an-and a pen I need to tell him that I love him too”

Her mom smiled before handing her a piece of paper and a pen that she hid behind her back, she even gave her money so she could get a stamp to put on the letter.

***

Dear Jamie,

I love you.

I’ve been doing good, helping down at the factory with the rest of the women it’s good, I’ve made a friend her names Dot her husband is also fighting, she’s got two kids and Jamie they are the cutest little kids I’ve seen! Of course I have been missing you Jamie! Steve’s doing okay, he’s got a crush on a British woman names Peggy (but don’t tell him I told you that) she’s pretty, smart and really nice. I think she likes him too!

No other man will take me away from you Jamie I promise, I can’t wait to marry you and be able to wind you up for the rest of our lives together, I’m joking. Or am I?

Don’t apologise for your letter being short, anything is better than not having any from you, as long as you are okay and safe that’s all that matters to me.

I love you with all my heart to Jamie, honestly and truly.

Be safe and come home to me.

All my love

Your Flower.

***

Folding the letter and sliding it in an envelope her mom had given her when she was writing, she slipped her letter into the envelope sealing it off she ran downstairs slipping her shoes on she ran out of the house and down the street to the post office.

“A-a s-stamp pl-please” she panted at the worker.

The second the stamp was sealed securely on her envelope she posted it. Her heart raising rapidly, the temptation to just stand there and wait for the mailman to collect all the letters was there until someone cleared their throat from behind her.

“Sorry, I’m sorry” she muttered before leaving, now she just had to wait now until Bucky wrote her back. Shouldn’t be too long. Hopefully.

June 21st 1943

She last received a letter from James three months ago, he told her where he was and how he was doing, told her all about his comrades, told her that he’d come back to her. Ended that letter like the rest, with him telling her how much he loved her. Writing back as quickly as possible she told him how things were going, telling him about her news friends from the factory, and like all the others she ended it with telling him how much she loved him.

Everyday for three months she waited patiently for a letter to come, sighing deeply when she never received one. She was starting to get nervous at the prospect of something bad happening to him, but she kept pushing that thought away as she saw Rebecca everyday at the factory and she hadn’t said anything to her.

Six months after James left for war Y/n moved to a small apartment above the post office, it was small but enough for just her. One night after finishing her shift at the factory, Mary who worked at the post office came running out to her handing her a letter, Y/n ran up the stairs struggled to open her front door like always before she managed to get it to open, quickly closing and locking the door - keeping her promise to James who had made her promise to keep her front door locked at all times.

***

Dear Flower,

I’ve missed you terribly. How are you? I hope you’re okay and safe.

How’s Steve doing? He’s not been really responding to my letters. I’m a bit worried about him.

I’m sorry my letters are getting shorter, it’s just things have been hectic lately.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers every day and night, I’ll come home soon and I’m all yours forever I promise.

I love you more than anything Y/n.

All my love

Your Jamie.

***

Wiping her tears she moved to get her paper and pen, settling on her couch she started to write.

***

Dear Jamie,

I’m missing you more and more every day, I’m doing okay and I’m safe, you do not need to worry about me just as long as you are safe and sound that’s all that matters to me.

Steve will be getting the serum tomorrow (22nd June) I’m scared for him but Peggy has told me that everything will be okay. She’s even said I can come along too, Rebecca has said she will cover my shift because she’s an angel. Steve’s been busy but he’s okay I promise, oh…he jumped on a grenade BUT don’t worry it wasn’t a real one! I screamed and cried when Peggy told me, then I smacked Steve…he deserved it.

I’ve already told you not to worry about the shortness of your letters, I reread every single one of them over and over again.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers day in and day out.

I love you more and more than you’ll ever know. 

All my love

Your Flower.

***

Sealing the letter in the envelope she unlocked the door and skipped downstairs where Mary unlocked the door and handed her a stamp, Mary knew the routine that Y/n had every time she got a letter that she waited long after closing so her new friend could post it that same day.

“Thanks Mary”

“Don’t need to thank me, how is he?”

“He didn’t say…but he said he misses me, it’s hectic over there so”

“It’s understandable, are you meeting Steve and that Brit tomorrow?”

“Peggy-“ Y/n laughed “-and yes, it’s a very big day tomorrow”

“What’s happened again?”

“H-he has a special operation and I’m just going for emotional support” she smiled, Peggy told her not to say anything to anyone but Mary had overheard Y/n talking to Steve about it. So she told her Mary that it was an operation he was having.

“Well I hope it goes well. I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight darling”

The next morning Y/n waited outside for Steve and Peggy to show up, nearly ten minutes later a sleek black car pulled up and Peggy got out greeting her. Instantly regretting sitting in the middle of two people who were flirting, made worse by Steve as he didn’t realise that Peggy was in fact flirting.

Just like the car ride Y/n blanked out most of what Dr Erskine was waffling on about, her eyes kept going to the bed where Steve lay strapped in to Howard Stark, still slightly star struck.

Everything happened next was lost on her. Her heart raced when she heard Steve screaming in the chamber, a beast of a man was released from said chamber it looked like Steve, her best friend Stevie but this guy was huge. Strong. Muscly. Taller.

Before Steve had to look up to her and now it was the other way around. He said her name and smiled, he pulled her into his arms as she gaped at her best friend’s transformation. Steve released her to look at Peggy as she moved closer.

The unmistakable bang of a gun firing sounded in the room, Steve wasted no time in knocking Y/n on the ground covering her body with his. Dr Erskine had been shot, Steve took off barefoot after the gunman, Y/n’s hands were drenched in blood as she tried to put pressure on the wound, Howard Stark helping her by covering his hands over hers.

It all happened in a blur.

It all happened to fast.

She didn’t like it, she was scared.

She wanted Jamie.

She was always safe with her Jamie.

“Y/n? Y/n look at me love, it’s Peggy. I need you to concentrate”

But she couldn’t. There was too much blood. There was chaos in the background and the only thing she could focus on was the shaking of her hands covered in someone else’s blood.

“Y/n please darling snap out of it” that sounded a lot like Howard she thought to herself.

She could hear them talking then she saw Howard standing and moving away slowly. Then everything came into focus. The look of distress in Peggy’s eyes, the destruction of the room, the white sheet covering a body.

“S-Steve?”

“He’s, he’s okay. We need to go love”

“I-I-I want Jamie”

“I know but he isn’t here right now an-and he will be rather mad at me if I don’t get you out of here, so please follow me”

Despite the blood on Y/n’s hands Peggy still took them in hers and helped her stand, although Peggy didn’t really know Y/n all that well she knew that Steve cared deeply for her, making her care about the woman. Her main focus was getting Y/n to safety and then she could worry about everything else.

December 10th 1944

It’s been well over a year since Y/n watched Dr Erskine get shot and killed, in that year she went back to work in the factory. Nothing really changed for her in that year that had gone by, months would go by without a letter from Bucky she knew that he was still alive as his family wasn’t informed to state that he was dead.

It brought her some relief. But that didn’t stop the sadness from sinking in when she didn’t get a letter.

Steve had become a circus monkey for America, gaining himself the name Captain America. When she saw one of his shows for the very first time she couldn’t stop laughing. The outfit. The way he looked so unsure and uncomfortable. The music. The acting. It was laughable.

“Stop laughing Y/n” Steve said walking into the tent as she followed behind him.

“I-god you look ridiculous Stevie”

“Stop laughing!” He tried to act mad but her laugh had his lips turning upwards. For Steve it had been a long time since he heard her laugh like that. He missed it.

In October of 1943 Steve showed up at her apartment acting different, he was quieter, avoided talking about Bucky. Y/n had asked him if there was something wrong but all he did was give her a tight lipped smile and shook his head.

He wanted to tell her that he was told that Bucky and his unit had been captured as POWs, he wanted to reassure her that he was going to do everything in his power to get him back, to bring him home to her so they could get the life he’s knows they’ve always wanted with each other. 

But he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to say them words and see her smile fade, tears gather in her eyes so he remained silent and listened to her rambling about something one of the girls said at work.

He couldn’t fail her, he was going to bring Bucky back no matter what it took.

Unbeknownst to Y/n not only was Bucky captured and then saved by their once scrawny little friend but that in ten minutes there was going to be a knock at the door and she’d be taken by two soldiers to go somewhere.

“It’s like I’m invisible” Bucky mutters when Peggy doesn’t even give him a second glance, he found it funny that Peggy had to practically spell it out for the blonde to understand what she was trying to hint. He knew that if Y/n was here and saw the exchange she would have been smiling so wide with her hands clasped together against her heart.

A small smile made its way to his lips as he thought about Y/n, his Flower. As soon as he got back to camp from being saved by Steve he went straight to his tent and wrote a letter to her, sealing it up in an envelope he got from one of the soldiers, giving it to the person he needed to for it to be sent off. Already excited for her letter. He missed her more than anything.

“You thinking about her Buck?” Steve’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Of course, she’s always on my mind-what?”

“Who’s always on your mind?”

“Ms Potts from down the street-“ he rolled his eyes “-Y/n, you’re an idiot sometimes Steve I swear”

“I’m always on your mind Jamie?”

Bucky’s eyes went wide looking Steve in the eyes, the blonde just smiled at him. Slowly turning around, his heart thumped loudly in his chest, blood rushing in his ears he turned to find the source of the voice he has missed hearing.

Well aware that his unit, his team, strangers that became friends were standing around, he didn’t care if they saw their Sergeant with tears gathering in his eyes.

He didn’t care about anything other than Y/n who was currently standing in front of him. Her flower print dress fit perfectly, lightly moving as she stands there. Her eyes focused on him as he took her in, god she was so beautiful.

“F-Flower?”

“Hi Jamie”

“Wha-how-your really here? I’m not dreaming again am I?”

“No” she giggled, the sound making his heart tingle.

“If you don’t kiss her I will” Dum Dum shouted making everyone laugh. But not Bucky. No it made him move quicker than he’d ever moved before, cupping her face in his hands he smiled before placing his lips to hers. Steve joined in with everyone else as they cheered and clapped. 

“You’re really here” Bucky whispered against her lips, resting his forehead against hers breathing in her scent.

“I’m really here”

That night he took her to his hotel room that they had been allowed to stay at, and made love to her for the first time. Three times that night. One more time before they had to say goodbye to each other again.

Just as she was about to get into the car Bucky kissed her one last time, and got down on one knee, proposing to her with a metal nut - that he had found in the room they shared - asking her to marry him before she could answer he promised that once he was back he’d buy her a ring.

Kissing him she held out her hand for him to slid the nut onto her finger.

“I’m getting married to my Flower” he said as the car that carried his love away. Steve smiled at his best friend’s happiness.

January 28th 1945

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Dot asked Y/n as she threw up for the second time that day.

“I’m okay. Must have been something I ate”

“You sure? Didn’t you say you saw James last month?”

“Yes…why?”

“Did you two…you know”

“Wha-oh, yes, a few times” she admitted, her cheeks going bright red.

“Do you think? Maybe? Right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You might be pregnant” Dot whispered.

Her head spun as the words from her friend settled in. She hadn’t had her period she realised. No. Surely not, right?

“Go and see the doctor after your shift and check” Dot continued.

“I have half an hour off before I start back up again”

“I’ll cover you”

“You’ve got kids you need to-“

“My mom’s here to help me, I’ll be fine”

“But-“

“No buts missy, you need to find out if you are.”

After twenty minutes of arguing back and forth with Dot, Y/n finally caved. Going to the hospital she waited patiently for her bloods to be taken. Completely unaware that across town two families were receiving the worst news.

Getting her keys out of her bag she froze when she saw Steve standing outside her apartment dressed in civilian clothing as Bucky called it now.

“Steve? Hey! What are you doing here?”

“Y/n, I need to talk to you”

“Is it Jamie? Steve? Where’s Bucky?”

But Steve didn’t answer instead he took her keys from her shaking hands and unlocked the door, pushing it open he turned to grasp her arm and guided her in to her apartment. His heart sinking further into his stomach than it already was before coming to her apartment, when he saw the metal nut still sitting on her finger.

“Steve…”

“I failed you Y/n/n I-I’m so sorry”

“He’s okay. He is. I know it”

Shaking his head the scene replying over and over in his head like it had for the past week since he watched his best friend fall to his death “H-he-he’s gone Y/n, I’m so-sorry” He jumps up just in time to catch her as she falls to her knees, a painful sob leaving her lips.

Sadly Steve wasn’t done.

“Y/n…there’s something else, Michael…he’s been killed”

Michael was her half brother. She was close with him, closer to him than she was with her younger siblings. Michael never failed to make her laugh, he always acted like he was the oldest one of the two though there was eight years between them. Y/n was the first person he told when he got his orders from the Army, she hugged him as he cried. It’s not that he didn’t want to fight and help it was that he was terrified.

“No! No you’re lying.”

Helping her stand he took her home where her mom’s screams and cries could be heard from outside the home. Watching as mom and daughter cling together from the doorway Steve let a few tears fall.

Two days after finding out that her best friend turned fiancé and her sweet younger brother were killed Y/n found out she was pregnant. A few weeks later they buried Michael.

On the second of March 1945 Peggy arrived at Y/n’s apartment, eyes red and swollen. They held each other as they cried. Y/n gathered that Steve never got his letter to let him know he was going to be an uncle.

When Peggy noticed the small prodding bump her heart ached. She knew she had to keep the promise that she gave Steve, that she would look after Y/n. Steve had told Peggy that just before Bucky fell he told the blonde to look after his fiancée, the two best friend’s last thoughts were on their best friend and fiancée. Neither one knowing that she pregnant.

A month later Y/n and her family, Winnie and Rebecca were at the cemetery, she smiled sadly when she felt her baby kick for the first time when the preacher said James Buchanan Barnes, they watched as two empty coffins were put into the ground.

She knew that the baby she was growing inside of her would have been so loved and spoiled by its father and uncle Stevie, it broke her heart knowing that her unborn baby would never meet the two greatest men she had ever known.

Five years passed after she lost three men closest to her. After she gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl that she named Hope Jamie Barnes, she moved out of the tiny little apartment she had and moved into a farm house that had acres of land.

Just because her Jamie wasn’t with her anymore didn’t mean she was going to give up on the life that he had planned for them. She still wore that metal nut, everyone thought it was strange but luckily for her they never asked about it. However it no longer sat on her finger but around her neck on a silver chain.

A wedding ring sat there now instead.

Two years after Hope was born her mom made her get married. “You’re twenty nine now Y/n you need a husband” her mom told her, reluctantly she agreed and married a man named Frank. At first Frank was okay, nice even but things changed only after a few months of marriage. It started with small things such as telling her what to wear, how to act. Then it turned nasty, the abuse was mental, verbal and physical.

Three years into their marriage she had become numb and use to it all. Became use to the women talking and giggling like school girls when they saw her in the store or on the streets, the same women who were sleeping with her husband. It didn’t bother her anymore that her husband was cheating on her, the more women he had to satisfy him the more he was away from her home, the less she got beaten and berated.

It didn’t even bother her that he had gotten one of his mistresses pregnant or when the mistress’s husband found out and beat Frank to within an inch of his life. In fact she smiled.

Y/n and Peggy’s friendship became non existent after Y/n got married and Peggy married Daniel Sousa, when Peggy and Daniel started dating Peggy had asked Y/n if she was wrong for it but Y/n told her that she deserved to be happy and if he gave that to her then she should have that happiness.

Peggy worried if Steve would have been mad, Y/n had to remind her that he wouldn’t have wanted her to live a life of loneliness.

When Hope was five she was wise for her age, she knew Frank wasn’t her father, she knew her daddy had passed away when he protected the country from the bad guys. Hope enjoyed her nighttime stories where her mama would tell her all about her father, hearing about how funny, kind and loving her father was always made the little girl smile. One night Y/n showed Hope the few photographs she had of James, Hope giggled and pointed at her eyes and then at James’s “same mommy same”. It was true, Hope had the same colour eyes as Bucky and like Bucky’s eyes they changed lighter when she was happy or giggling, turned darker when she was sad or when she was poorly.

Every Sunday Y/n and Hope had a routine, they would go to the cemetery to put flowers down on the graves of James and Steve. They would sit on a blanket and eat the sandwiches that Y/n would take with them, they would sit, eat and talk for hours - depending on the weather. Hope would show the headstones all her drawings and tell them all about her schooling and friends, told them her favourite colour - the rainbow that’s her favourite colour.

Y/n knew that there was no bodies in the coffins but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t sit there with her daughter in her lap and tell the two empty graves that she loved and missed them. Every time.

It was still a tradition that they both did even as Y/n got older and weaker.

In 1970 her husband was killed, Franks brother Robert was arrested and charged with his murder. Robert found out that his wife was having an affair with his brother. Y/n went to see him in prison after Robert sent her a letter begging her to see him, he swore that he didn’t do it. That it was a man with a silver arm. Y/n believed him when he said he didn’t do it, he was with his sister, her husband and their children, along with Robert’s children. But she didn’t believe him about a man with a silver arm, that was a bit far fetched.

At Franks funeral Y/n stood there with Hope on her left side and the nine children he had with nine different women. She tried to comfort the children he had with the women he had cheated on her with, they allowed it until everyone left and it was just them standing at the grave. His oldest started laughing causing the others to join in, Hope looked at her mom with a raised eyebrow that reminded her so much of Bucky, she just shrugged.

They told Y/n that they were happy he was finally gone. Told her that they hated him and was glad he was dead.

It surprised her but they were at the age where they realised that their parents marriages broke up when their mom cheated on their dad, or when they saw Frank hit their mom. It was nine teenagers/young adults who knew that what the preacher was saying as the coffin was lowered in the ground that it was all lies, he wasn’t a good man, he wasn’t a good husband or father, he was everything they hated. He was everything the five boys had promised that they would never turn in to. He was everything the four girls promised that they would never end up with.

They all kept in touch throughout the years, it was nice. And through them years all nine of his offspring kept their promises.

As the years went on Y/n became more and more proud of Hope and the woman she had become. Hope got married and had children, her first born son was named James, her second son was named Steve.

“M-mom there’s someone here to see you” Hope stuttered from the doorway.

“W-who i-is it darling?”

“I-he-hold on”

Hope appeared at the door with a nervous smile on her face, her fingers twisting together as a man walked slowly towards her. His eyes going to the woman and then to the man behind him, he was scared.

“Hope?”

“Mom-“

Y/n slowly turned to face the doorway, her eyes widening as she sees the ghost of her best friend towering over her daughter.

“S-Stevie? You’ve come to take me to Jamie?”

Steve frowned looking at the woman who was the last person on his mind before the plane crashed in to the water, his best friend who had aged yet her eyes remained the same. Then he looked at Hope confusion written on his face, she looked up at him and smiled sadly.

“Mom I’m just going to get you a drink.” Nodding her head to Steve and Sam to follow her she went into the kitchen. “She thinks your taking her to heaven to see my dad”

“Dad?”

“James? He’s my father”

Steve’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. When Hope answered the door telling him that she was Y/n’s daughter he assumed that she had married and had children, he did not expect the woman in front of him to be the daughter of his best friend who he watched fall to his death.

“What?”

“Bucky Barnes is my father…you’re my uncle, well that’s what my mom always called you.”

“Oh. Now I see it, it’s your eyes”

“Mom always said I had the same eyes as him” she laughed.

Steve goes to open his mouth when there’s a sound of a cane hitting the floor, all three turn to face the doorway where Y/n stood.

“Are you re-really alive and not just m-my imagination?”

“I’m really here Y/n/n”

“H-how?”

“When I crashed the plane-ow stop hitting me” he cries out when she hits him with her walking cane, Sam and Hope laugh.

“Still mad at you for crashing that plane”

“I’m sorry. I was frozen and they found me a few years ago” Steve finished his explanation. Y/n nodded and sat down, being ninety five years old her legs weren’t as strong as they once were.

“This is my daughter, she’s beautiful isn’t she?”

“She is, she’s got Bucky’s eyes”

“Yes she has. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Sam, he’s the one that helped me track you down”

“I-it’s nice to meet you Sam.” When Y/n reached out to shake Sam’s hand Steve noticed a glint of a necklace. He watched as her free hand went to the necklace and started lightly tugging on it, he wasn’t the only one.

“Mom? Mom your alright, your safe don’t worry” Hope says softly, moving closer slowly. Sam looked at Steve worriedly.

“I-I don’t-don’t let him hurt me anymore”

“Mom he’s dead, he can’t hurt you anymore I promise” Hope helped pull the necklace out, handing her the thing she knew her mom was trying to hold.

Steve’s breath get caught in his throat at seeing the metal nut Bucky gave her all those years ago.

“S-Steve? Your dead. Hope wh-who is he? I-it’s not Stevie, he’s dead”

“It’s okay mom, he’s a friend. Let’s get you back to bed okay?” Turning to Steve and Sam telling them she’d be back in a few, they both nod.

Waiting patiently in the kitchen Steve can hear Hope calm Y/n down, his heart breaking when Y/n asks for Jamie. When Hope comes downstairs she offers the two a drink, both declines politely.

“Mom keeps forgetting things, she’s been like this for a while now.”

“The thing on her necklace, what is it?” Though he knew he just couldn’t see it lasting this long or that she even kept it.

“My dad proposed to her with it, it’s a nut. She’s kept it on her chain ever since-well, she’s wore it since he gave it her”

“Did she ever marry? Have other kids?”

“Yes, he died in 1970 and no I’m her only child”

“I’m sor-“

“Don’t apologise, bastard deserved it”

After an hour or so the men take their leave, the blonde asking if he was able to come back and see Y/n again, Hope said yes.

The year was now 2016, Y/n’s health declining as she was nearing one hundred. The doctors told Hope that it would be better to keep her in hospital for the rest of her time on earth, Hope told them that, that wasn’t going to happen. Y/n had told Hope that when she was going to die that she wanted to go when she was at home. No matter what.

Steve had showed up one day to talk to Hope, to tell her that her father was alive after all this time. Hope begged him not to tell Y/n. Y/n struggled to understand and come to terms with the fact that Steve was alive, she had grown so confused that she started to tug on her necklace. Hope didn’t want to imagine how her mom would react to the news that the love of her life was alive, not when she spent so long mourning him.

At first Steve was confused but understood at the same time. He told Hope that he and Bucky fought and the only way he could get him to snap out of whatever Hydra had done to him was by saying Y/ns name, Hope smiled at that. Hope asked Steve if he had told James all about her and how her mom was still alive, Steve said no but with her permission he would. And he did.

After seventy years of going without a father it was strange when she met Bucky for the first time, a man who didn’t look a day over thirty was her father when she looked like his mother, it was strange.

Bucky cried. Cried for never knowing Y/n was pregnant in the first place. Cried for never being there throughout Hope growing in her mother’s stomach. Cried for never being there for either one of them for nearly seventy years. Hugging his daughter for the first time ever Bucky crumbled.

Hope was very honest about hers and Y/n’s life, told Bucky how Y/n’s husband was a cheating abusive arsehole. Both Bucky and Steve clenched their fists at hearing that. Shocked when Hope told them that apparently a man with a silver arm had killed Frank, and because Bucky had his arm covered and gloves on Hope didn’t realise that it was her father that did it.

Bucky was open and honest about what had happened to him, expecting his daughter to look at him differently so when she threw her arms around him and cried he was shocked.

It took Bucky exactly twenty three minutes and fourteen seconds for him to ask when he could see Y/n. Having to think it over she agreed but on the condition that she was the one that would tell Y/n the truth.

Telling her mom that the man she had still been in love with after all those years since she had lost him, that he was still alive was the hardest conversation she had to have with her mom. Y/n didn’t believe her, of course she didn’t she’s spent seventy years mourning him. Seventy years wishing she saw him again, hoping and praying that he would still love her the way she still loved him.

Hope told Y/n that she had met him, hugged him, laughed with him but she still didn’t believe her.

A week after telling Y/n that Bucky was still alive her health deteriorated. Hope had to tell Bucky and Steve that Y/n didn’t have long left. Bucky was determined to see his love for the last time.

James stood in front of the house that Y/n had made a home since she left Brooklyn, the two floored farm house stood proudly in front of acres of land, due to his enhanced senses he could smell the lingering smell of animal food and waste. Hope had told him all about the animals Y/n rescued over the years, told him that when she was seven they had three horses, cows and goats, that in recent years Y/n had been rescuing cats and dogs from the streets or abusive homes rehoming them to those she trusted. Bucky smiled at hearing that she had lived the life he wanted for the both of them, smiled at hearing that Y/n’s kindness and love for animals never stopped.

Checking his hair was fine for the umpteenth time in the two hours it took them to get there he turned to face Steve.

“You ready Buck?”

“Y-yeah” Steve knocks on the door and they both wait patiently for Hope to answer. 

“Hi, come on in-oh”

“T-they wanted to come, hope that’s okay” Bucky explained. Behind him and Steve stood the rest of the Avengers.

“We’ve heard all about your mom ever since blondie came out of ice, wanted to meet her” Tony spoke leaning in between the two super soldiers to hold his hand out.

“Oh right, come in.” Leading them all upstairs where Y/n was, Bucky’s nerves sky rocketed the closer he got to the bedroom. “You ready?” Hope asked.

“Yeah. She knows I’m here right?”

“She does, if it helps she’s nervous too”

Nodding his head he watched with a steady breath as his daughter - which he still found weird saying - twisted the door knob and opened the door.

Though older and frail Bucky thought she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. His eyes stayed on her face as he moved closer, with every step he took his heart started to beat slower.

“J-Jamie?”

Wetting his lips and gulping he nodded “hi Flower”

“Took you long enough to come and get me”

“I know my love b-but I’m here now”

“Are we going to see Stevie?”

“Stevie’s right here darling”

“Is my mama going to be there too?”

Frowning he looked back to Hope as she stands at the doorway with everyone behind her. Hope shook her head and mouthed “she thinks you’re taking her to heaven”.  His frown deepened, looking back at Y/n whose eyes didn’t move away from him.

“I’ve missed you Flower”

“I’ve missed you too Jamie. Ha-have you met Hope? She’s your daughter Jamie”

“I have met her, beautiful isn’t she?”

“She is. The best thing I’ve ever done”

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve raised our daughter amazingly”

“Sit down silly” sitting on bed next to her he took his gloves off and held both her hands when she reached for him. Y/n didn’t flinch when his silver hand touched her. “Don’t let Frank hurt Hope okay? Y-you have to promise me Jamie th-that you’ll lo-look after her”

“Doll he’s-I promise that no one will ever hurt her”

“Good. He’s mean. He hurts me Jamie”

“I know doll I know, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you from him”

“Not your fa-wh-who are they Jamie?”

“They’re Stevies friends Flower”

Hope nudged Steve further into the room and nods to the others letting them know it’s okay for them to go in too. Steve says hello and introduces the team to her, each giving her a smile.

For three hours Steve and Y/n talked about growing up together and all the things they use to get up to, everyone laughed and asked Y/n questions about the two super soldiers, she answered them as best as she could sometimes she repeated herself or looked panicked when she saw strangers standing in her room.

Bucky though held her hand with the both of his, his eyes on her the whole time. Tracing over each line with his eyes, his heart clenching when he saw the unmistakable sight of a scar that ran down the side of her face.

His breath got caught in his throat when she took out the metal nut around the necklace. “Y-you kept it?” He asked interrupting when Sam was talking about.

“My Jamie gave it me during the war, he proposed to me” she smiled “you look like him”

“Do I?”

“Yes, but my Jamie was more handsome”

“Was he now?”

“Oh yes-“ a yawn cuts her off. Hope tells everyone that it was best if they left now so she could get some rest, and they do. Each say their goodbyes and waits for Steve and Bucky downstairs.

“We’ll come and see you tomorrow okay?” Steve says after he pulls away from giving her a hug and a kiss to her forehead. Y/n nods and smiles. “I’ll wait for downstairs Buck”

Bucky nods, then looks at Hope who understands without being verbally told that Bucky wanted a few minutes alone, she follows behind Steve.

“I have always loved you, you know? I still love you. I’m sorry that I didn’t come home to you when I promised you over and over that I would, I’m sorry I let you down Flower”

“Y-you didn’t let me down Jamie, never.”

Bucky smiles softly at her, watching as her eyes start to droop. “I’ll let you get some rest my love. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise”

“O-okay Jamie. S-see you tom-tomorrow” Giving her a kiss to her forehead he stands and moves to the door, taking one last look at his first and only love.

“Thank you for the best years of my life”

He says before shutting the door and heads slowly down the stairs.

After Hope says her goodbyes and gives her dad a hug she busies herself cleaning the kitchen, she smiles happily to herself seeing her parents together something she had always wanted to experience.

She doesn’t know that her mom is in her bed with her hand wrapped around the piece of metal that she had wore and cherished from the moment James gave it her, she doesn’t know her mom is thinking about meeting her Jamie again.

She doesn’t know that her mom takes her last breath with a small smile on her lips.

A year after loosing the love of his life Bucky had to bury his only daughter, heart attack took her. In 2023 Tony had perfected his father’s Time Machine with the help from Bruce. Steve was going to be returning the stones, they all gathered together in the empty space and watched as Steve vanished.

“4…3…2…1” Bruce counted down for Steve’s arrival.

Once the smoke cleared Bucky had his eyes down as he knew that Steve wasn’t going to be coming back, he knew he was going to go back to live a life with Peggy. His head snapped up when he heard the voice that he always heard in his sleep.

There stood on the platform was Steve, Y/n and a two year old Hope.

“Fl-Flower”

“You died Jamie. You promised me you would be safe but-“

Bucky cuts her off by pressing his lips against hers, holding both of his flowers tightly.

One month after Steve brought Y/n and Hope to the future, Bucky and Y/n got married. A month after that she finds out that baby Barnes number two would be arriving.

“I love you Flower”

“I love you Jamie”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77