#jalapeno topics

[lolahasmoxie]

Conversations at 3 AM (E.M.)

PAIRING: Eddie Munson x Reader

WORD: 1.3k

WARNING: nudity, language, casual intimacy, established relationship, friends to lovers, mentions of getting pregnant, mentions of sexy times, heart-to-heart talks (Eddie & reader are 25)

CONCEPT: You and Eddie aren't used to people sticking around.

DIVIDER FROM @firefly-graphics

Even though you were born at 6 a.m. on the dot, you were a night owl through and through.

During high school and college, summer meant you became a nocturnal creature, much to the annoyance of your family. There was one person it never annoyed, though.

You had met Eddie in elementary school after he moved into the trailer across from yours. From the day you met, you had been thick as thieves. For years, your friends watched as you skirted the line of will they won't they, watching the other traverse dating and relationships with an envious eye. It wasn't until a year ago, when Eddie kissed you during the middle of a movie night, that you had finally become more.

Tonight, you'd had dinner at Steve's house with the whole gang, seeing as Mike, Dustin, and Lucas were all in town for a long weekend from college. The boys had planned a one-off campaign at your shared apartment the following night, and by midnight, you and Eddie were in your home.

Side by side, you brushed your teeth, trying not to laugh as Eddie made faces at you in the mirror. Once in your Queen bed, Eddie's hands began mapping your body, and in a practiced routine that felt like breathing, you let him love you until sleep came for you both.

However, this time, sleep only came for Eddie.

You had tried everything to fall back asleep: counting sheep, listing Metallica songs followed by Black Sabbath, breathing in time with Eddie. Nothing worked. So, as carefully as you could, you crawled out of his hold, placing your pillow closer to Eddie when he started to stir. As his gangly arms wound around the object, you entered your kitchen.

You had been at the table for a while when you heard soft footsteps coming down the hallway. Turning your head, you watch as your tall metalhead boy walks into the kitchen naked as a jaybird, cock dangling freely as his hands wipe at his eyes like a little boy.

"What time issit." he mumbles as Eddie comes up behind you. He wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss on your hairline. "Why are you still up?"

"Almost 3 a.m. and I tried to go to sleep, but no dice," you say. He nods in understanding before sitting next to you at the table.

"I was having this great dream; you were wearing that black number you wore to our last show at the Hideout? Anyway, you were letting me drag you to the bathroom to do unspeakable things to you when I woke up, and instead of rubbing against my pretty girlfriend, I was humping your pillow. By the way, I'm pretty sure there's a stain, and I'm sorry in advance." You can't help but smile as you dip a carrot into the hummus.

"Didn't want to wake you up. You know how I toss and turn when I can't sleep."

"So there's no reason you're up at almost 3 a.m. eating," he paused as he reached for the container of hummus. "Jalapeno hummus? Holy fuck, you're not pregnant, are you?"

"No, you asshole," you playfully slap Eddie's arm as he tries to play off his terrified expression. "Nice to know how you feel about the topic, though."

"I'm just warning you, we could be on a babymaking schedule to get knocked up; I will still probably freak the fuck out when it does happen, so just a heads up for when we get there."

"Duly noted." you chuckle. Eddie laces his hand into yours and brings them to his lips. You can feel his eyes on you; you know Eddie will give you your space to work out whatever is going on in your brain. But he's also a persistent asshole who won't stop until he finds out why you left him alone in bed. "Does this ever feel too good, Eds?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us. I mean, we disagree on things, but we never really fight. Being together with you has always just felt scarily easy; I've never had that with other boyfriends." You sigh as you look at your joined hands. "Feels like I'm waiting for something, but I don't know for what."

"Easy, I know what it is," Eddie says as he gives your hand a squeeze. "You're waiting for the other shoe to drop." When you meet his gaze, those cow-brown eyes study you, looking at you with more love than you think you can handle.

"Elaborate, please."

"You and I have always been alike," he begins. "our dating histories are littered with people telling us we were too much. Too loud, too needy, or too whatever. But here's the good part, babe. You will never be too much for me. Ever."

"You mean it?" You're impressed that he could sum up your feelings so succinctly. He grins at you, a beautiful smile spreading from ear to ear.

"Of course I mean it. I had to watch you date assholes for ten years; you really think I'm gonna let you go now that I'm lucky enough to call you mine? Not a chance, sweetheart." You reach out a hand and cup his cheek, and you can't help but smile when Eddie leans into your touch.

"Thank you, Eddie."

"No problem; you know, I had resigned myself to loving you from afar a long time ago. Sometimes, when I wake up next to you, I feel like I gotta pinch myself to make sure it's real."

"You're such a cheeseball," you tease. "Why don't you head back to bed? I'm gonna clean up and join you in a minute." You stand from your chair, but Eddie stops you with a tug of your hand. In a flash, you're on his lap. Your hands hold onto his shoulders, although you're in no danger of falling. Edde's grip is secure as he gives you a look you are all too familiar with. You speak his name, and he raises a hand to push the hair from your face.

"You know, it was very mean to leave me in that big bed all by myself," he begins, his hand cupping your cheek. You feel your body warm as his thumb caresses your cheek. "Why don't you let me take you back to bed and help quiet that big brain of yours. Sound good, sweetheart?"

You lean in to kiss your man, his arms wrapping tight around you as he fists your shirt in his hands. When his tongue runs along the seam of your lips, you happily grant him access, tangling your hands in his hair while you slowly start to grind against him. When you feel him hard and warm underneath you, you think you may never want to sleep again.

You both enjoy the kiss, neither of you rushing things. You pull back when you need air, and while Eddie's face is happy, there's something else. You raise an eyebrow as he licks his lips.

"You taste like salsa." You can't help but laugh as you lean forward and bury your nose in his neck. He pulls you closer, hands caressing your back like you're the most precious being in his universe. You can feel his chuckle as your chests press together.

You stay still for a moment to enjoy being surrounded by him. One of the things you loved about being nocturnal was how quiet the world was at almost 3 a.m. You hum contentedly when you feel Eddie's lips against your hair. You close your eyes, wanting to commit this moment, this feeling to memory.

"Alright," Eddie taps you on the ass and breaks the silence. "Let me take you back to bed, alright?" You climb out of his lap and softly kiss the corner of his mouth.

"I'll go brush my teeth. Why don't you go make sure the bed is warm." Eddie hops up, cock bobbing comically as he begins to do a naked run back to your room.

"I'll keep the home fires burning! If I fall asleep, wake me up with head!"

BONUS: THE NEXT DAY

Dustin: I'm just gonna have a seat here, and we can get started.

Eddie: fair warning, my naked ass has been on that chair.

Dustin: 😳

Dustin: like, recently naked?

Eddie: last night.

Dustin: you're a fucking animal.

Eddie: 😁

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

Alright folks, I've taken up reading tma again (sorry for the delay, had a bunch of stuff to sort out before) and finally arrived at mag 60! Since I now have a faithful audience of one (1) person that I must disappoint, may I present:

The Magnus Archives but I'm halfway through season 2 (and the confusion somehow got worse)

The episodes are named "MAG[...]" and that's apparently because of "Magnus".

I know, that's pretty obvious. I'm dumb, ok?

There's Michael, he's tall, distorted and HANDsome and I love him.

He kidnaps people and talks about philosophy. What an icon. I'm gay

That (the kidnappings, not me being gay) really annoys the main character. I think he should take another cup of coffee and let Art be.

Speaking of our favourite jalapeno, he entered his paranoid era!

Babygirl is archiving all over the Magnus and spying on his colleagues. What a slay.

Scary Switcheroo Sasha is Not Happy At All about it.

Well, to be honest, nobody is. Except Martin. An absolute gem.

"I am not a who, I'm a what" WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THAT SENTENCE? IT'S SO PHILOSOPHICAL I'M PUTTING THAT ON MY METAPHORICAL YEARBOOK AND EMBROIDERING IT ON EVERY TABLECLOTH I CAN FIND

GERARD KEAY IS BACK HE'S ON HOLIDAY I LOVE HIM.

Simon Fairchild is everywhere who is that man is he dead is he God's servant did he write Ex Altiora?

Same for the Lukas did a guy named Lukas decide to make a plethora of children, give them all his name and raise them in the true ways of evil so that they can keep his legacy alive? Are these all clones determined to make our overpopulated planet experience loneliness?

These two names scare me more than my neighbour, which is impressive. My neighbour is very dreadful.

I can't even see an alliance between the both in my worst nightmares it would be so awful like- oh wait they did it. Nevermind.

Fairchild/ Lukas ship when?

OKAY THIS IS DERIVATING CHANGING TOPIC...UH... MICHAEL. I LOVE MICHAEL. I THINK HIS HALLWAY LOOKS FANCY.

Oh yeah funny thought since both Michael and the door are part of something bigger, does it mean that Helen became part of it too? Will we get Cool Technicolor Helen ?

I Do Not Understand the link between all of these. Is it a plot made by Jürgen Leitner to confuse me?

When does Elias Bouchard reveal his cover and accept his identity of secret weedsmoking hypervillain ?

Agnes the orphanage girl is sus, amirite?

So, yeah, season two started, even more spiders, ceaseless watching, meat, rot, insects, my unending love for Basira (my queen), and the boneturner guy who got a new job where he, well, turns bones. Fascinating!

It's behind you.

So? Anything to tell me that might be useful to know? Am I having any paranormal experience? Any tickets for the next Grifter's bone concert you're willing to share? Who the fuck is the clown grandpa and why does his memory seem to linger on the podcast like duct tape scars on thin paper?

Good luck answering these, you have an hour.

With love (and infinite hate for Jürgen Leitner),

Vik.

[2024-grimoire-challenge]

May Week 4: Changing it Up

This week we will change it up from the depth of divination we've dived into the rest of this month and do some fun practical activities as summer gets on in full. Along with that we will still be doing the gem/ herb/ other study we normally do, but this week will be a lot of hands on stuff! So let's get our hands dirty witches!

Monday - What's in the cauldron?

Practical - Pick one of those Witchy recipes you see floating around, or just any recipe you'd like really! One you haven't made before or have been wanting to make for a while, and make it! I'm making honey lavender bread this week, along with a maple butter pork butt, cut into thick slices and kebab'd with some onion, pineapple and jalapeno! Write out the recipe, the directions, and if it has any ritual connotations/ magical associations or purpose, add those to the recipe!

Research/ New Page - Herb Study - Pick another herb from your list and go nuts! Study everything about it from its history and myths around it, to how to grow it and what its associations are!

Tuesday - Artsy Fartsy Witchy Stuff

Practical - Is there any craft you've seen on the internet or in a movie or show or even in a book that you've wanted to make that pertains to your craft and your practice? What is a better way to celebrate your craft than to get out and do it! Get the materials, make the craft and write up a little snippet about it and its purpose/ uses in your grimoire!

Practical/ Mental Health - Yeah, that's right, we care about mental health. Get up, get out, and enjoy the outdoors! Take a walk, drink some water, take your meds, take a nap and relax! Life can get so busy and it is just as important to take care of ourselves, mentally, emotionally and physically as it is to take care of the myriad tasks we have going on.

Wednesday - Dirty Hands? The doing is the thing!

Practical- Ya know all those herbs we've been studying. Well, at least where I live it is summertime. So if you're able, even if it is in a small planter in the house, get some herbs and plant them! Basil, lavender, lemon balm, thyme, sage, anything! Plant em and care for them. It can help give you a better understanding of the herb to watch it grow and care for it!

Thursday - Candles and incense and crystals, OH MY!

Practical - Okay, so its not all writing and research for this challenge. Getting your hands dirty is sometimes the best way to learn! So get a ritual, or spell (make one if you need to and want to!) and perform it! DO the thing. Whatever it is and whatever it is for, add it to your grimoire if you'd like! My grimoire is a few different books that collectively make up the things that pertains to my practice. I keep my spells and rituals in one book. My information in another. Recipes in yet another. Divination/ dreams in yet another. It's a nice little collection. But however you do it, make a page for your spell or ritual. Do it in your lab book if need be so you can look back at it and change it, expand d on it if need be.

Friday - Music, is it magic?

Practical/ Rest - Is there any music that you use to feel Witchy? Is there any music that helps you get in the zone? Make a playlist, or several if you're extra organized, and just put it on and listen to it. Feel it. Really get into the music.

Research/ New Page - Gem study/ Other - Whether it is the gem you're doing or another form of study, take time to really discover all you can about the topic you've chosen. Myths, legends, practical and magical uses! History, physical properties, all of it!

Gosh that's a lot even this week! I'm proud of all of you keeping up with this challenge and can't wait to keep going for the second half of the year! We're nearing that halfway point! Keep up the great work everyone and if you ever have any suggestions or ideas of just want to chat about the challenge, reach out to me on this blog or my main @thehazeldruid

Good luck and happy crafting witches!

-Mod Hazel

[danothan]

on the topic of barry’s food preferences, i love this little pattern of him putting jalapenos on everything

our white bread boy is full of surprises

[mesetacadre]

on the topic of of food

1 large can of black beans 2 medium sized jalapenos 1 large onion and 1 large bell pepper and a handful of cilantro sautee the vegetables and cilantro in a very large amount of chili powder for ~8 minutes then pour in the beans and bring them to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer it. also make some rice

.

[kindred-spirit-93]

I’ve been listening to thunder bringer on loop and let me tell you I also feeel things. Specifically gender envy oh gods I need that voice I need to sound like that

literally ever cast member is the perfect fit for their roles its unreal, from backing vocals to lead characters they all bring this musical to life and quite frankly i owe them mine.

zeus' va delivers every single fucking time without fail, he captures the regality and arrogance so well omg

mr jalapeno is an absolute genius in songwriting, the first few listens to thunder bringer (and the musical in its entirety) i focused more on the music and enjoying the animatics, but as of my 17th epic binge sesh lol im coming to really appreciate not only the brilliance of the lyrics but also the themes and motifs that correspond to each figure and i could go on forever but im already severely off topic lol im sorry

in conclusion. we stan

[sueske]

you're not that fond of minakushi? OMG ME NEITHER!!! i can't believe someone else actually agrees with me on that too. personally i don't like it cuz i think their love story is lame and they're not good parents to naruto. minato is worse for obvious reasons but my unpopular opinion is i think kushina isn't a great parent either. when she's talking to baby naruto she's mentioning all the things they she wants him to know of, and she mentions girls 😭 like lady he isn't even 5 minutes old!! and she says this world is made of men and women and you'll eventually notice girls...but knowing he did NOT notice girls 🤭 just makes me wonder how she'd react to him being in love with sasuke. and i don't think she'd react positively. (another unpopular opinion) even before that scene she was talking really traditionally and i feel like she'd also put expectations on naruto and want him to behave exactly as she wants him to and she won't accept anything else. i feel like she'd be just as bad as everyone else who puts expectations on him already. and his story with sasuke would end in tragedy even if his parents were alive, bc the way she was talking only about girls as if there's no other option...yeah she's definitely one of THOSE parents. another thing i don't like is when she said everything and minato didn't bc she's the mOtHer and kishi has every woman's entire personality bc a mother and a wife but that's the narrative writing, not her. he even made her give up her dream of becoming the first female hokage 😭 cuz women sacrificing their dreams for dumbass kids is fine bc their dreams obviously aren't as important as men's 🙄 anyway ppl always make her and minato the "good parents" in sns fics and make sasuke's parents to be the "bad" ones as if little miss red hot jalapeno wasn't the one talking to naruto about girls only 🤨 i need then to lay off on sasuke's parents fr...i feel like the only reason they might disapprove is bc they're really traditional and want to uphold their family name...but they clearly don't have any specific expectations for sasuke, if fugaku telling sasuke to walk his own path, a different path from his brother itachi, is anything to go by. so we not only have evidence that kushina would most likely not approve of naruto being gay but we also know sasuke's parents are more accepting of him being different. case closed. this is similar to when in fics they make naruto the nice kind angel and sasuke the jerk for no reason 😭 they truly think sasuke and his family are just jerks naturally and naruto and his family are sweet and accepting, just bc they're louder and more extroverted...it's like how ppl treat introverts irl, they think we hate ppl and are rude for no reason. anyway that got kinda off topic but yeah that's why i don't personally like minakushi. i feel like most ppl just have a bias towards them bc they're naruto's parents and everyone has a soft spot for the MCs parents. especially if they're dead and the Mc never got to be with them. what's your reason?

…okay I don’t like minakushi cuz I don’t like minato lol. the one shot also left me 😐 I’ve also complained about kushina giving up her dream of becoming hokage to become the hokage’s wife instead before but that doesn’t make me hate her or anything. I don’t hold kushina’s last words to baby naruto against her either, she was trying to cover what she considered to be major topics before she died. to make up for lost time, to make up for the fact she wouldn’t be there to see naruto grow up and offer her advice and opinions then. I’ve also answered how I think sns’ families might react to a relationship here. I do think kushina would be the type of mom to be really involved in her son’s life and make her opinions and what she thinks he should do known.

[shining-gem34]

FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE A CHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.

NAME — Rook

PROFESSION — Mercenary/Traveler (In space)

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND — It varies from planet to planet, but if he isn't at his ship, you can try your luck at a bar or the street markets. He likes to listen to people and chat with them to gain insights on various topics.

Specifically for planets revealed in-game:

Jarilo-VI: Underground Fight Club or Old Weapon Testing Ground.

Luofu: Cloudford (where his ship is located at) or Aurum Alley.

Penacony: Clockie Plaza (Golden Hour) or Dream's Edge.

FAVORITE FOOD TYPE — Heavily seasoned and spiced foods with refreshing side dishes to balance it out. Otherwise, he's not too picky about food types.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK — Fruity Cocktails with Jalapenos. If he's in the mood for something heavy, straight-up vodka.

WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE — Rook doesn't have a preference for dating locations. Wherever you take him, Rook doesn't care because the most important thing for him is being able to spend time with you and have fun.

IDEAL GIFT — Whatever you give him, Rook will hold it close to his person (or keep it safe) and treasure it because you gifted it to him. Bonus points if it's something practical he can use.

HOW MANY DATES UNTIL THEY KISS — It depends if he feels confident enough to express his affections physically that isn't holding hands or a chaste kiss to a cheek. A kiss on the lips is a big step for Rook.

Tagged by: @memovia & @rvinfall (and I can't remember who else I saw doing this but wheoitw) Tagging: You!! Show me your character in a dating sim!

[finishinglinepress]

FLP CHAPBOOK OF THE DAY: All the world collected by Lynne Sherbondy

On SALE now! Pre-order Price Guarantee: https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/all-the-world-collected-by-lynne-sherbondy/

Lynne always planned to become a poet, but her life took a pivot and she wound-up writing plays and screenplays. Still, she never stopped writing poetry. The poems in All the world collected are her most recent. #poetry #chapbook #life

PRAISE FOR All the world collected by Lynne Sherbondy

All the world collected is an account of what it means to live with loss and look it squarely in the eye. Lynne’s writing is emotionally connected and has moments of utter brilliance. She has achieved a voice that is fierce and heart-shatteringly honest about topics that are often avoided. A must read for anyone ready to explore issues of grief.

–Lael Cassidy, author of before the bloom

In Lynne Sherbondy’s All the world collected, she offers a list of the things that bring joy: “Free delivery, thin crust pizza, jalapeno jelly, Cosmopolitans…” then adds “none of it kept time from taking her face./Yet life put its fingers on us/and bent us with hope.” Each poem in her first chapbook brings the reader in close to the beauty of the world, without sparing us the pain. It’s a balancing act that she pulls off with panache.

–Tina Barry, author of Beautiful Raft and Mall Flower

Please share/please repost #flpauthor #preorder #AwesomeCoverArt #poetry #chapbook #read #poems

[lavender-long-stories]

This is going to read like and old style author's note.

So. Some of you know that I am a pretty active cook, and I have been canning recently.

While working on some tomato products, my grandmother brought me some more tomatoes from her sister's garden that did better than ours, along with a large bag of banana peppers that she told me were hot.

I thought that was fine. I have handled hot peppers before. I don't own disposable gloves. I will just thoroughly wash my hands with dish soap to make sure all the oils get off.

Biggest fucking mistake.

I cut all 30 or so large peppers and nearly died coughing cleaning the seeds out.

At first, there was no pain for like an hour, then it started to burn, which I didn't panic about because I had cute jalapeno before and suffered for an hour of mild irritation. NO. Within the next few hours, I was in the worst pain of my life, and the only relief was running my hands under a cold tap.

I tried everything every site suggested. Pain killers did nothing, neither did allergy medication, the topical medication I could even feel a difference. I tried every home remedy: honey, yogurt, milk, flour, stainless steel, vinegar, baking soda, lemon, butter, nail polish remover, mustard, shampoo, conditioner, oil, dish soap, etc.

Many stories online said they went to the ER and even morphine doesn't help because of the way that peppers burn and the only thing they were given was a cocktail that put them to sleep.

I couldn't sleep, even after we tried to rig up a bowl of ice water by my head. I think I fell asleep for 10 minutes, and the pain woke me up.

I spent the rest of the night wrapped in a heating blanket on a chair with my hands under a cool tap in my bathroom.

I thought maybe the creams were finally starting to work around 7 in the morning, but I did the math, and the life of the capsaicin (the chemical that makes peppers hot) is 18 hours, and it was just wearing off. By 9, my hands were no longer burning, and I was finally able to sleep.

18 hours of pure hell, both in pain and pure boredom, because all I could do was watch videos, and I am a severe multitasker.

I am fine now. My hands feel weirdly tight, but they aren't insanely dry because so much of what I was slathering them with was moisturizing, and I am dying to get back to writing.

I had planned to spend the whole evening writing. That obviously didn't happen.

PSA: WEAR FUCKING GLOVES WHEN CUTTING PEPPERS. THERE IS NOT CURE FOR THE PAIN.

[chordsykat]

24, 32, and 40 for Nita?

24. What smells bring back specific memories to your oc? What are those memories like?

I always pictured Nita and I sharing a love for the smell of the ocean. Like, how it just brings back fond memories of summers by the seashore and that sort of thing..? I wonder if she can "smell a difference" between the west coast and east coast beaches. I sure can. But both give me good vibes. :)

It's worth noting, the more I go on with these characters in their current iterations, the deeper into metaphor I am comfortable diving. Those reading my comics will see Nita talking about campfires being a place of comfort for her (having to do with her association with the fire element, of course). Now, that's not a *smell* but I think the smells of firewood would certainly fit this ask as well. :) 32. What five ingredients would you throw into a cauldron to make a potion based on your oc? How would you cook/mix them? What would the potion do?

Hahaha. Should we just go with the boring sugar, spice, and everything nice? :) Sugar's in there, certainly... probably a whole bag. Spice too. Two of my favorite spicy-spices -- cayenne powder and arbol because I headcanon that she's quite dominant in the bedroom (wait this is my own character... So I guess I *canon* that she tops). And, and, and let's do a few jalapenos as a throwback to one of her inspirations -- Elisa Maza (Elisa's "catchphrase"/one of her favorite foods). And of course... the main ingredient in any MTL OC concoction: A $5 Hot Topic gift card! Cook on the stovetop or the microwave for as long as you feel like it. This potion's recipe is friendly to everyone, even newbie cooks, and easy to drink. This is a typical love potion, though it's not romance-specific. The user becomes utterly enchanting to everyone around them and finds their ability to sway others to their will, multiplied by a factor of 22 and a half. Also leaves the user's hair sleek, shiny, and manageable. :D 40. Are there any habits your oc has picked up from people around them? Do they know where they’re from? Does your oc try to stop themselves from doing it?

I had to think about this one (which is awesome because that's the point, eh?) and I am not sure about this but I *think* if I was going to have her pick up anything, it'd be Nathan's tendency to "roar" at people. Readers will recall she kinda-sorta started doing it *at* him in the first Dethkomic when they got lost in the woods... and it's just funny as hell to picture in my head. I think I wanna make that a thing.

Anyway, I can't see her NOT knowing where it comes from -- but it could be easy to fit as an extension of her own growing backbone... and character development is always fun! So, no. No stopping it. Embracing is far more likely. ;)

These are some amazing questions are they not? Thank you so much for the asks :D The original prompt list is here!

[buildingshitwithcrab]

Taco Bell Creamy Jalapeno/Quesadilla Sauce Copycat [Edible]

I don't have any photos to go along with this post, but the topic came up among some ShiftyThrifting discussion, and perhaps it's time that I share my 15-20 years of field study with the world. I don't have any family anecdotes filler, either, but I will include some notes after the recipe, directly related to its production. Please read the whole post before beginning.

This recipe makes A LOT of sauce at once. Like, you know a large pickle jar on the middle shelves, before you get to the giant sizes at the bottom? That big of a jar full (28-32 ounces?) It is 8x the ingredients called for in the foundation recipe, because frankly, I've learned the hard way that I will use it all. Halve or quarter these amounts, if you don't want to commit to that much sauce on your first endeavor.

Ingredients: 1 c mayonnaise* 1 c sour cream* 5 T pickled jalapenos, diced or sliced** 5 T brine from pickled jalapenos** 3 t sugar*** 4 t paprika (mild, for accuracy) 4 t cumin 1 t cayenne 1 t garlic powder 1/4 t salt***

*keep cold until ready to add **16 teaspoons, by recipe; 5 T is the same amount, with less scooping ***have more available, for personal preference

Special Equipment: blender, stand or immersion whisk

Procedure: 1. Into blender jar or container compatible with your immersion blender, place jalapenos and brine. Blend until as smooth as you can get it, more or less a puree. Transfer into a large mixing bowl, preferably with a pour spout, for later ease.

2. To jalapeno puree, add all dry ingredients and whisk together.

3. Add but DO NOT MIX YET cold mayonnaise and sour cream.

4. SLOWLY and steadily, whisk thick ingredients into puree, scraping sides as needed. Do not over-mix. As soon as there's a consistent light orange color, it's good to stop.

5. Pour into large, clean jar with lid, and seal. Must be refrigerated, and should keep for about two weeks. Shake well before each use. Ready to eat at completion, although the flavor is best if left to sit and chill for at least 12 hours; 24 is better.

NOTES:

Over-mixing will lead to a thinner final sauce, greatly reducing the creaminess. Taco Bell is probably using some stabilizers like xanthum gum to keep the sauce held together from factory to shipping to prep. Patience and care in mixing, as well as adding the creams cold and last, are the most important lessons I've learned, over the years.

If you'd prefer or it's what you have, you can split the sour cream to 50/50 with plain Greek yogurt. It alters the taste very slightly, but still remains very close to original. All Greek yogurt may alter it more, but I haven't tried that as yet.

As someone with soy sensitivity, I have tried soy-free mayonnaise before, but it is noticeably different in the final flavor. I do not recommend.

I have tried making a batch with all sour cream once, very early on, and it just did not taste right. You need the mayonnaise, for authenticity. If you're okay with the result being a bit off in order to go mayo-free or soy-free, go for it, it just won't be as close of a duplicate.

I reduce sugar and salt amounts for personal preference and family needs, and I have done so here. I... forget what the original amounts for them were, at this point. If you need more salt or sugar, please add it! TB is no doubt adding more than I do here, but do bear in mind that the jalapenos & brine will have a good deal of salt already.

Testing the spiced puree for salt & sugar levels isn't going to be helpful. It's much more potent before the creams are added, and it is best to combine everything before tasting for salt and sugar levels.

The spiced puree, without creams, would probably make a good overnight marinade and grilling sauce, but I haven't tried that yet.

A food processor is not going to get the jalapenos pieces as fine as they need to be for a TB-comparable result. If you're fine with it being a little less smooth, however, you may certainly try one, if you don't have a blender.

If you do not cook often, be aware that there are mild and hot paprikas, and TB is using the mild.

I do not recall the blog where I found the foundation recipe. I only remember that the lady who posted it had two sons who were nuts about the real sauce, so she came up with a home version that they liked. I, a lifelong huge pain in the ass for accuracy, tried that recipe and while it was good, my own mania for perfect quesadilla sauce at home knew there had to be ways to make it greater. I still do not consider my recipe today to be a perfect match, but I do feel it's close enough that if TB were to discontinue the sauce tomorrow, I'd be pissed but I'd survive, giving them the finger every time I satisfied a craving for a quesadilla at home.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Friday, August 16th, 2024

8:02am: sleep was no good but it's ok, I can always try again tonight lol (tomorrow I can sleep in!)

10:32am: aha that was painless and fun topic discussion and I got free cold brew + lemonade (? Cal idk)

Haha the rest of the day went CRAZY, tbh not really bc I have hella leftovers but definitely ain't no zero cal day. Got bibimbap, thai spring rolls, Thai tea and cheese buldak but it was not what I thought it was gonna be, it was rice, chicken thighs, sauce, cheese, jalapeno and green onions lmao it tasted like Mexican food 😂 I thought it had rice cakes in it but it did not. Idk maybe they ran out

[stripedwolf88]

Top 5 all time favourite dishes?

And top 5 hyperfixations?

<3

Ah food! One of my all time favorite topics.

1. Chicken Florentine my mom makes

2. My abuela's tacos (we put cheese, onions, lettuce, pickles (not that I eat those yuck), cucumbers, and salsa) with some of my spanish rice

3. My abuela also makes a chicken enchilada casserole type dish

4. My dad's steak with scallop potatoes and grilled onions and jalapenos with a side of either broccoli or asparagus

5. My mom's Carbonara

Hm hyper fixations? Let's see.

1. Taylor Swift/Gaylor/Kaylor stuff. I know that's a bit obvious but seriously I've never been this invested in something like this before.

2. Anything related to science. You give me something new to learn about the earth, how the body works, new discoveries in evolution, doesn't matter, I'm interested.

3. Stuff about justice and ethics are things that really grab my attention. Actually, this should probably go above the science thing but, eh, they are kind of on the same level.

4. Analyzing movies and songs and books.

5. Putting anything together. It could be a shelf or a toy. It could be anything. Give me the instructions, and I'll do everything to figure it out.

These were fun! Thank you for sending them. <3

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

I don't get it either, obligatory I am an omnivore, but I'll sometimes be a "fake vegetarian" cuz I love vegetarian options and am picky about meat. I also just love eggs. I'm a big time believer that everyone deserves delicious food, no matter their dietary restrictions, convictions and choices. ESPECIALLY comfort foods.

(i hijack this post for my vegan tamales Texas pasty lady imposter syndrome)

I really love the challenge of making vegan/vegetarian options. My favorite is tamales cuz I think they lend themselves well to meat free/plant based if you know what you're doing. They're also inherently gluten free. People can get weird about vegan tamales, but my cousins and my friend's vegan gf mama love em.

I kinda stall out on fillings tho cuz I feel like I'm missing obvious choices. I don't really like using meat substitute/plant based cheese products cuz they're kinda expensive and hard to find where I live. I would rather go extra steps to make a mushroom chorizo or something like that. But IIII am not vegan and know nothing of the desire for substitutions for dearly missed foods like cheese.

Vegan/Vegetarian tamales I do make are chile sweet potato, bean, and cream cheese jalapeno. The possibilities with tamale fillings are endless, but I keep being timid. Nopalito/cactus is an option that I've never cooked with cuz I'm chicken. Rajas/pepper strips are a common tamale filling also that's meatless. I've heard of people putting carrots in them, too. My internet research has suuuucked on this topic.

If I was in the city, it'd prolly be easier to find ideas from what people are making, emphasis on latiné vegans, but alas. I have a rival/coworker who spent time in vegan kitchens in Austin, but he's one of those people who make it weird that tamales gotta have meat. Even tho neither of us have any literal skin in the authenticity game (we pasty) we just Texan. I'm extra inauthentic, NOT vegan AND pasty. Idk what it's like for actual vegans coming up in Hispanic/Latiné families, but I wanna know what they think makes good vegan tamales.

There's also SO MANY WAYS people make tamales. I'm self conscious about having zero skin in the game, so I always tell people "this is just how IIIII learned" omitting other Central and South American countries, just Mexico is HUGE with tons of regional differences and THEN those all trickle thru the US and what's available and convenient from place to place family to family etc

There's absolutely gotta be big money vegan tamales in California, but my mom in law who taught me the craft calls it "Baja food" so I wanna stick to what's local, but I'm getting desperate at this point as tamale season gets closer.

Part of the reason I try to make good vegetarian food even though I’m not vegetarian is because of the one week my dad was convinced he was gonna go vegan.

You know what he made for dinner that whole week? Steamed vegetables, rice, and canned beans. All unseasoned. Technically a nutritionally complete meal. It tasted awful.

How could a man usually so good at cooking forget literally all of that when faced with the possibility of making vegan food?

I thought there had to be a better way. And it turns out there is. Vegetarian food doesn’t taste bad. Cartoons that depict vegetarians eating a singular leaf for a meal have ruined us. A lot of stuff that meat eaters eat in everyday life is technically vegetarian or easily made vegetarian. Why when faced with one restriction do so many people forget every single egg sandwich or apple pie they’ve ever eaten?

[keefwho]

May 07 - 2024 Tuesday

10:31pm

4.5/10

Im writing on time tonight because DS went to sleep early and I did my dishes early partly because my tummy hurts.

This morning I did my whole body shave with the manscaped attachment I don't usually use which was a good idea, it's bigger than the thing I usually use. It's just not as good at trimming unless you are only going against the grain. I took my shower and for breakfast I made oatmeal using some frozen cut up apples and a side of spam. It was a light breakfast since I've been eating big meals lately. I did my monthly finances finally, just 2 days late.

For work today I warmed up by sketching human torsos but my head wasn't really in it so I didn't do a great job. That didn't bode well for what commissions were going to turn out like. It was just one of those days. I had a bit of trouble on the commission because GT, the guy paying for it, just wanted me to redraw a black and white image of a guy on a motorcycle but as a cat instead. Partway in I didn't think my usual process would be best so I decided to wing it instead and do something more like a lineless color study which turned out to be a good idea. I stopped stream halfway through because little things kept going wrong and my tablet died which required me to restart my computer. DS seemed upset at that which sucks because she's definitely my favorite viewer to have.

Off stream I asked TK if she wanted to hang out in her server VC while I worked. She said she had just showered and likes to wind down after so in a bit we could. In the meantime I worked on the commission with some music. I got distracted a few times but not too badly. She alerted me when she was good to go so I joined her and her boyfriend to chill. NJ joined as well. I mostly listened until I decided to speak up about some frustrations I had today. It turned into a big rant session to NJ who was kinda becoming my therapist for some reason. He asked some good questions but didn't have very good advice in my opinion. He also implied every thing I said was wrong which wasn't productive, I felt like I was defending myself at every turn on things I was confident I was right about. Eventually the topic was abandoned and I left briefly to start lunch. I made stir fry rice with canned ham and mixed vegetables. It came out okay, I wish I had added more jalapenos. I continued work in the call. TK asked what I was working on and I had to explain it was someone's character performing receiving fellatio. Then I worked on something of my own which was my otter giving head and I actually showed them that one since they were curious. It was a strangely classic case of showing "normies" some relatively extreme furry art, but they appreciated the quality of it. Especially the background. After an hour of working on that, I switched to my custom pony VRchat avatar. I more or less finished work on the basic body shape I think, but I'm not sure I'm sold on it yet. TK left and I hung out with the other guys until I was done working. Then I got off to decompress.

I watched episode 2 of Black Mirror this evening. I already got all my thoughts on it out to DS, but my view was trying to positive in that maybe their society would improve with the introduction of the guy's podcast on the state of the system. I think it was left open ended. I got the impression at the end that it was implied he had a LOT of work ahead of him. After watching, I booted up KSP with the goal of further figuring out a way to organize my crafts and do a couple missions. The craft organizer mod is unfortunately bugged which makes it very hard to use. I might just have to get rid of it and think of another way to organize. DS got in bed early and we called to do our usual routine of puzzles and KH2. She talked to me a bit about her struggles lately and I empathize with all of it. It's stuff I'm also working on and making headway I think. Its progress I wish I could share with her somehow without lecturing about how I'm doing it. I know the best thing I can do is support her as she figures out what works for her which I'm eager to witness and hear about. I reached the end of the game in KH2 and next is the final final boss I think. After DS fell asleep I continued KSP a little bit. I also ate the first chicken strip I've made that come un-cooked which was something I was very slightly worried about. I knew it wouldn't really be a big deal, and it wasn't. Since they're frozen it isn't very gross handling them. I just know I gotta wash my hands when I'm done. Its unrelated that my tummy has hurt all afternoon and evening and still is. I keep having to go but it's all ordinary. This has happened before, its just uncommon for me. No idea what could have my stomach like this but I think it's already passing. I getting very cozy watching a Twitch streamer play Fallout 4, I'm probably gonna watch until I happen to pass out.

I wanted to practice "self as context" from my ACT book today but I didn't out of simple laziness. I'm guilty of feeling like I already know everything I need to know but that is foolish and I know it. I turned this journal into a sort of practice by writing it from the perspective that I'm reading it which helps me provide better context for events and makes me look at my own writing style. It helps prevent rambling in a way that I ignore and forget about as soon as the words have been typed.