#jai buchanan

[pbandjai]

Bend over come ride me like ya rover 🫦

IG - pbandjai

[tylerposey]

It's fine.

[gaybuckybarnesss]

STATION 19 7.01 "This Woman's Work"

[lt-sparrow]

came to me in a dream

[wolvietxt]

💭 thinking about…

𝖻𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖿𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗀𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗌𝗄 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗂𝗍!

pairing : bucky barnes x fem!reader warnings : angst, fluff, hurt / comfort,  wc : 1k

bucky’s been quiet lately, too quiet. it’s the kind of silence that makes your heart ache, like a distant thunderstorm you can feel in your bones. he sits on the edge of the bed, his shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world is pressing down on him. his hair falls over his eyes, hiding the turmoil in them, but you know it’s there. you can feel it in the air between you, thick and suffocating.

he’s always been good at hiding his pain, but lately, it’s been slipping through the cracks. you’ve noticed the way his hands tremble slightly when he thinks you’re not looking, the way he’s been avoiding eye contact, the way his smile never quite reaches his eyes anymore. it’s like he’s carrying something inside him that’s too heavy to bear, and it’s tearing him apart from the inside out.

“bucky,” you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. he doesn’t respond, doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s heard you. it’s like he’s in another world, a place where you can’t reach him.

you take a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. you want to reach out, to touch him, to pull him into your arms and hold him until all his broken pieces fit back together. but you’re afraid. afraid that he’ll pull away, afraid that he’ll shut you out even more.

“james,” you try again, using his real name this time, the one that feels more intimate, more personal. it’s the name you use when you want to remind him that he’s more than just a weapon, more than just a tool. that he’s human, and he’s loved.

his shoulders tense at the sound of his name, but he still doesn’t look at you. you can see the struggle in him, the way he’s fighting to keep everything bottled up inside. he’s always been like this, always trying to be strong, to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders without asking for help.

but you can’t stand to see him like this, can’t stand the thought of him suffering in silence. you reach out, your hand trembling slightly as you place it gently on his arm. his skin is cold, and you can feel the tension in his muscles, like he’s ready to bolt at any moment.

“bucky, please,” you whisper, your voice cracking with emotion. “talk to me. let me in.”

for a moment, you think he’s going to pull away, to retreat back into himself like he always does. but then, slowly, he turns his head to look at you. his eyes are filled with so much pain, so much sorrow, that it takes your breath away.

“i don’t know how,” he says, his voice rough and broken. “i don’t know how to do this. how to be…normal. how to ask for what i need.”

your heart breaks for him, for the boy who was taken and turned into something he was never meant to be, for the man who’s spent his life fighting to survive, to make up for the things he’s done. you slide your hand down his arm, intertwining your fingers with his. he hesitates for a moment before squeezing your hand, like he’s afraid to hold on too tightly, afraid that he’ll break you, too.

“you don’t have to do it alone,” you say, your voice soft but firm. “you don’t have to be strong all the time. it’s okay to ask for help, to let someone else carry the weight for a while.”

he shakes his head, his jaw clenched tight. “i don’t know how to ask for that. i don’t even know what i need. i just…i just feel so lost sometimes.”

you move closer, until your knees are touching his. you can feel the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breath. you want to wrap yourself around him, to shield him from the world, but you know that’s not what he needs right now. what he needs is to know that he’s not alone, that he’s not a burden, that he’s loved.

“that’s okay baby,” you say, your voice gentle. “it’s okay to not have all the answers. we can figure that out together.”

his grip on your hand tightens, and you can see the struggle in his eyes, the way he’s fighting to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. he’s always been so strong, so determined to keep his emotions in check, but you can see that it’s breaking him, that he’s reaching his limit.

“i don’t want to be a burden,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “i don’t want to drag you down with me.”

“oh my god… buck, you could never be a burden,” you reply, your voice filled with conviction. “i’m here because i want to be, because i care about you. we’re in this together, bucky. whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to go through it alone.”

his breath hitches, and for a moment, you think he’s going to pull away again. but then, slowly, he leans into you, his head resting on your shoulder. you can feel the tension in his body, the way he’s holding himself so tightly, like he’s afraid to let go. but you don’t push him, don’t rush him. you just hold him, your hand gently stroking his back, offering him the comfort he so desperately needs.

“it’s okay,” you murmur, your lips brushing against his hair. “you don’t have to figure it all out right now. just take it one step at a time. and remember, i’m here with you. you’re not alone, bucky. you’re never alone.”

he doesn’t say anything, but you can feel the way his body relaxes against yours, the way his breathing starts to even out. it’s not a solution, not a fix, but it’s a start. it’s a step forward, a small step, but a step nonetheless.

and as you sit there, holding him close, you know that no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard the road ahead may be, you’ll be there with him, every step of the way. because you love him, and that’s all that matters.

[miss-galaxy-turtle]

Is the Gatsby musical an accurate retelling of the original novel? No.

Does it romanticize the fuck out of Gatsby and Daisy? Yes.

Is the idea of the green light being a metaphor for romantic love entirely missing the point? Yes.

Is it a really, really fun time with gorgeous music, beautiful visuals, and a wildly talented cast? You're goddamn right

[iamnotshazam]

there is something deeply wrong with nick carraway in gatsby. motherfucker has been disassocating probably since the end of the war. he watches a marriage almost implode in front of him and in the stunned silence afterwards tells the awful husband, "oh yeah i just remembered today's my birthday"

i dont think casual and high school level discussions focus on how deeply weird nick must be in person and how that affects scenes? i vaguely remember analyses usually focusing on daisy and tom and gatsby but they all use nick as a barely functioning soundboard for horrible behavior and when he doesn't say anything are probably thinking "well nick seems so chill he would stop me if this was Truly Weird" and nick is meanwhile staring off into the distance thinking about what he ate last tuesday and that green eyed bilboard

edit: right and the accident literally happens next page so the weirdness of nick is probably skipped over by most readers

[munsonseds]

I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.

The Great Gatsby | directed by Baz Luhrmann, 2013

[anneeeboleyn]

society if jay gatsby fell in love with nick carraway :

[sanguine-prince]

i’m sure i’m not the first to say something like this, but let me tell you about my poc-passing-as-white jay gatsby headcanon!!

for some background, in the 1920s there was an interesting shift regarding (white) skin tones. previously, tans were viewed as a sign that a person worked out in the fields, and therefore a trademark of the lower class. however, slowly after the industrial revolution, it increasingly became a representation of luxury, since the rich upper class would have the time to lounge about and sunbathe at their leisure.

i say all this to show that a poc gatsby would have the ostensible class and wealth for a tan, which would ‘excuse’ a slightly browner skin tone in the public eye.

(the 20s was also the setting of passing by nella larsen, so that’s neat.)

in my vision, he’s biracial (maybe his mother was black & his father was a german immigrant) with skin light enough to pass for white.

the fact that nick states that gatsby keeps his hair neatly groomed and cut might be to prevent it from curling up.

additionally, i think it could contrast tom’s white supremacy & his fear of poc social progress.

it would also create a deeper divide between gatsby and daisy, and once again the contrast between him and tom. in my mind, daisy wouldn’t know about it until the point where tom reveals everything about gatsby’s bootlegging etc. with jay revealing it to her in the car ride back (oops then she hits myrtle).

then, when she chooses tom and the life of comfort, wealth, status, etc that their marriage offers, she also rejects not only gatsby’s new money but also his race.

it’s a lot more thematically significant for the american dream as well—it’s still unattainable and essentially tainted by capitalism, and it also emphasizes that it’s restricted to the white upper class. social mobility only becomes available to gatsby when he disguises his racial identity.

similarly, it fits with gatsby’s identity reconstruction—the quintessential american is white, rich, and educated.

daisy and tom have that ticket into society because they have that inherent thing that he will never have—pedigree, in both class and race. that’s something that even nick has.

(in my mind, he tells nick all about it the night before he dies & nick understands as best he can and doesn’t think less of him, because it further highlights the differences between his & gatsby’s relationship v. gatsby’s relationship with daisy; namely, the transparency -> acceptance give-and-take that he and daisy never had. because of having to hide himself from daisy in order to maintain her affection, he builds an expectation that he must be someone that he is not as well as developing a transactional definition of love (he gives, and people love him as long as he can continue to give) in order to be loved. therefore, nick’s immediate curiosity and fascination with who he truly is is foreign to him. not to get too into their dynamic lmao i just think it’s really interesting.)

finally, the very last part where nick is sitting and looking at the bay and thinking about the first immigrants and their dreams and how gatsby embodied the purity and naivety of those dreams is further exemplified by his racial ‘otherness.’

and there’s,,, technically nothing in the book to explicitly refute this from what i remember!

(n.b.: it has been a hot second since i’ve read tgg, so lmk if i’ve got anything wrong!)

[men-worth-your-time]

Jay Buchanan Jr.

[pbandjai]

Could use some good sex right now…

[tylerposey]

I'm sorry.

[gaybuckybarnesss]

STATION 19 7.02 "Good Grief"

[machinel1ke]

Hi I’m Jordan and this is my boyfriend Nick and this is Nick’s boyfriend Jay and this is Jay’s girlfriend Daisy and this is Daisy’s husband Tom and this is Tom’s girlfriend Myrtle and this is Myrtle’s husband George

[wolvietxt]

💭 thinking about… 

𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗒 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍!

pairing : bucky barnes x reader warnings : hurt / comfort but mostly hurt, angsty, tfatws!bucky, crying, a little bit of fluff wc : 1.2k

you told him not to do it. you’d seen that fire in his eyes, the way his jaw clenched when that guy had started talking, pushing bucky’s buttons like it was some kind of game. you’d warned him, quietly, to let it go, to walk away. but you knew bucky, knew that there was only so much he could take before he snapped.

and now, here he was, sitting on the edge of your bathtub, bruised and bloodied, staring down at his hands like he couldn’t believe what he’d done. his knuckles were split open, blood caked on his skin, and you could see the beginnings of a black eye forming. his chest was heaving, his breaths coming in short, sharp bursts, and you could tell he was still wound up, still riding the adrenaline high.

“bucky,” you say softly, your voice cutting through the thick silence that’s settled over the room. he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t even flinch. it’s like he’s somewhere else, lost in his own head, in the aftermath of the fight.

you sigh, grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink. you’re not mad at him, not really. you’re more worried than anything, worried about the way he shuts down after something like this, the way he retreats into himself. you know he feels like he’s constantly fighting a battle, not just with the people around him, but with himself. and you know how much it scares him, how much he hates that part of himself.

“let me see,” you murmur, kneeling in front of him and gently taking his hands in yours. his knuckles are raw, the skin torn and bleeding, and you can see the way his muscles are still trembling, the way he’s trying to keep it all together. you grab a clean cloth and dip it in warm water, carefully dabbing at the blood on his hands. he winces, but doesn’t pull away, just keeps his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor, like he can’t bear to look at you.

“you didn’t have to do this,” you say quietly, your voice filled with a mixture of concern and exasperation. “i told you it wasn’t worth it, that they weren’t worth it.”

“i couldn’t just let them… ” bucky starts, his voice hoarse, but he trails off, his jaw tightening as he struggles to find the words. you can see the frustration in his eyes, the way he’s wrestling with the guilt and anger inside him. “i couldn’t just let them talk to you like that. they had no right.”

you sigh, your heart aching for him. you know he’s just trying to protect you, trying to defend you in the only way he knows how. but you also know that every time he gets into a fight like this, it takes a little piece of him away, chips away at the man he’s trying so hard to be.

“i know, buck. but there were six guys,” you say gently, “but you don’t have to fight every battle for me. i can take care of myself, and i don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

he finally looks at you then, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and regret. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. “i didn’t want to…i just…i don’t know how to stop.”

you set the cloth aside and gently cup his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing against his cheekbones. his skin is warm under your touch, and you can feel the tension in his jaw, the way he’s holding himself so tightly, like he’s afraid to let go.

“it’s okay,” you say softly, your voice soothing. “it’s okay, bucky. i’m not mad at you. i just…i just want you to be okay. i don’t want you to keep hurting yourself like this.”

he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch, and you can feel some of the tension start to melt away. but there’s still that heaviness in him, that weight that he carries with him everywhere he goes. you wish you could take it from him, even just for a little while, but you know that’s not how it works. all you can do is be there for him, help him carry it when it gets too heavy.

“i’m sorry,” he repeats, his voice trembling. “i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“i know,” you reply, your voice soft. “i know you didn’t. but you don’t have to apologize, bucky. i’m here, okay? we’ll get through this, like we always do.”

you reach for the first aid kit again, pulling out some antiseptic and bandages. as you clean and bandage his wounds, he stays silent, his eyes focused on you, like he’s trying to memorise every detail of your face, like he’s afraid he might forget.

when you’re done, you gently take his hand in yours, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “all done,” you say, offering him a small smile. “you’re gonna be okay.”

he doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into his arms, holding you close like he’s afraid to let go. you can feel the steady beat of his heart against your chest, the way his breath hitches slightly as he tries to keep it together.

“i don’t deserve you,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “you shouldn’t have to take care of me like this.”

you pull back slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes. “that’s not true,” you say firmly. “you deserve to be cared for, just like anyone else. and i’m here because i want to be, because i care about you. you’re not a burden, bucky. you’re never a burden.”

his eyes well up with tears, and you can see the way he’s struggling to hold them back. he’s always tried so hard to be strong, to be the protector, but you can see the cracks in his armour, the way he’s breaking down.

“it’s okay to let go,” you whisper, your hand gently stroking his cheek. “it’s okay to let someone else take care of you for a change. you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

and that’s all it takes. the dam finally breaks, and he lets out a choked sob, burying his face in your shoulder. you hold him tight, your fingers running through his hair as he cries, releasing all the pain and guilt he’s been holding onto for so long.

you don’t say anything, just let him cry, let him release everything he’s been keeping inside. and when the tears finally stop, when he’s too exhausted to cry anymore, you gently guide him to bed, pulling the covers up over both of you.

“i’m here,” you whisper as you wrap your arms around him, holding him close. “i’m not going anywhere.”

he doesn’t say anything, just buries his face in your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around you like you’re his lifeline. you can feel the way his body starts to relax, the way his breathing evens out as he finally starts to drift off to sleep.

and as you lay there, holding him close, you know that no matter what happens, no matter how many fights he gets into or how many times he tries to push you away, you’ll always be there to pick up the pieces, to take care of him when he can’t take care of himself. because that’s what love is - being there for each other, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

and you wouldn’t have it any other way.