#jack isn't like sam he's not cas... he's like dean
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So yeah, I think of S16 Dean found himself in this era of his life, knowing that what comes after is PURGATORY? he wouldn't be okay*
Also!!! Dean knows that once the Madness wears off Cas WILL be suicidal. His insistence on staying in Purgatory was just another “coping” mechanism for him to receive the punishment he thinks he deserves and once that’s gone he starts actively thinking and worrying about killing himself, just like he confessed to Dean in season 8, and S!16 Dean is infinitely more likely than S!8 Dean to like…follow up in that lol
(Also, Cas was most likely suicidal IN Purgatory once he “snapped out if it” but he wasn’t lying when he told Dean he was trying to lead the Leviathan away from Dean and he needed to be alive for that. After? Once Dean got out? I’m not sure if he still would have tried to actively stay alive had he not gotten pulled out or if he would have kept fighting if only to 1. Keep being “punished” and 2. keep trying to destroy as many Leviathan as possible to make sure they can’t get out and hurt Dean wreak havoc again)
Would S!16 Dean ever talk to Cas about those suicidal comments? Either make sure he’s not feeling this way anymore or to apologize for just…letting Cas drop it entirely way back then? Dean knows Cas is happier now, but he knows better than before about appearances and assumptions and that mental health is more complicated than that etc. Especially! since Cas hid that he wasn’t truly happy not once for literal YEARS!
* https://www.tumblr.com/colorlessjay/774179557177688064/we-angst-talking-about-s16-dean-meeting-s6-cas
Oh, these two most definitely talk in length about both of their suicidal tendencies. Like, Sam probably told Cas how fast Dean was willing to kill himself after Cas died to Lucifer and lost his mom
Meanwhile, Cas would openly confess his innate need to be punished for his crimes, because the guilt for them had held him down for so long before Jack came into his life.
It's why I like to think Dean would spoil him so much. Man still isn't the best with words, but he communicates best with actions. So I think over time, Dean would slowly build a comfortable environment for Cas to talk to him, to trust him.
I think Cas would actively take care of himself and outwardly express happiness to Dean to reassure him. Knowing Dean would be anxious about whether or not he's even making Cas happy, or if Cas forgives him the same way Dean forgives Cas
It's a two way street between the two really
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It was a post that mostly screenshots but it had some good parallels. I think it was a lot of Henry, John, Cas, and Jack. Do you remember if it was you?
I looked for these for the past few days! Was it these? This was a freeform, and very VERY messy. I've tried to make it into a list to make it... at least jumpable.
A father’s duty; work and family and protection and–
Post 1 - "Fathers should protect" Images of young John, Kelly, Cas, Jack, child John, Henry, Dean It’s too big. It’s too big for everyone. These expectations. Work, provide stability, provide food/water/shelter, protect, preparation, take on the world, uphold the world. Post 2 - "Henry & Cas" Only two images, both Cas and Henry lamenting "IF I COULD GO BACK" Post 3 (scroll) - "Broken home" Starts with the image of the cars at the broken house Cas & the dilapidated family home - And we have it again, the dilapidated family house, with Dean’s car and the ghostly truck-of-the-father, followed by some scenes of Cas in his truck. Post 4 - "@ironworked comments" Starts with images of Castiel and Anael discussing how God isn't with them " They don’t have time to process anything. There’s just no time. Cas makes the right decision, just too late... He decides to go home! He concludes that even without God, we have each other." Post 5 (scroll) - "WORK; more commentary" Starts with images of Dean and Cas in the bunker, Cas in "work clothes" and Dean clad in his sleeping robe "...then they’re tragically caught in that same fight of trying to be everything, to shoulder these intense, heavy weights of life. ...And Dean’s face transforms from something soft to dazed-and-alarmed. It’s kind of heartbreaking how even when they’re being honest with each other and looking for other ways, it’s still too much." Post 6 (scroll) - "Sam + communication, Cas in the wind" Starts with images of Sam talking to Cas, talking to John Sam expresses his frustration on the phone with Cas being gone again. It hearkens to other Sam phone calls - John, Cas previously. Plus: Dean's spinning out, and the "Jack is not family" of it all. Post 7 (scroll) - "War-son" Starts with a long text-quote of Dean talking to John's grave The tragedy of Jack, the war-son. And the legacy of heroism in The Winchester family line of heirs. (Aside/// Sam is a spare. Dean and Jack are heirs. etc etc. ) Plus: Hopelessness. Emptiness. They all feel it. Post 8 (scroll) - "Amara: Starts with Images of Amara When we look at the bomb detonated, we think about the previous detonation, intractably tied up with darkness. AMARA. Post 9 - (scroll) - "TFW reunited... too late?" Starts with Images of Dean freaking out After Jack whispers, “Don’t let me hurt you,” we’re thrown back into a united TFW, rallying themselves and not giving into their specific flavors of Despair. Dean breaks his chains and takes on death.
I made the links because I feel like there were a couple of other anons that focused on these topics, and from what I gather, it's related to the weekend discourse that I, amazingly... totally missed out on.
Fair warning again: This is hard to sift through because I'm chaotic. But there's some stuff in there you might like if you dig.
Hopefully, this is the post that you meant!
#asks#meta requests#fathers and sons#spn parenting#heroic burderns#war sons#sending sons to war is the default of most countries folks it's not even that out of left field now is it#if just feels bad when it's framed like this no?#ANYHOO#i'm not sure how to tag this exactly#jack isn't like sam he's not cas... he's like dean#thank you for remembering this!#i love how hard-hutting the john and henry parallels are hitting me in the face when I scroll through these... goodness i had forgotten
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dean winchester and autism because this man is autistic and i will not accept otherwise:
his reaction to sam giving him the giant slinky at the end of 7x14 'plucky pennywhistle's magical menagerie'
actually physically stimming when he enters the bunker with sam in 15x14 'last holiday' and sees the christmas decorations
the boxing episode, 11x15 'beyond the mat', where dean spends the entire episode fanboying and (for lack of a better word) plays in the boxing ring
wearing the same thing (flannel, jeans, in earlier seasons the leather jacket) almost all of the time while not in disguise to work cases
eating the same thing (cheeseburger with extra onions or pie) at almost everywhere they go, as often as he can (about dean winchester and food, i could talk about that for hours he has so many issues with it and it's all john winchester's fault)
his ability to recite movies line for line, and his tendency to communicate almost entirely through references and movie quotes, and expecting people to understand what he means
about references, he makes jokes and references when it's not appropriate, he doesn't understand that something isn't appropriate in a situation where it isn't specifically pointed out to him, and he generally has a pretty messed up sense of empathy and inability to 'read the room'
‘you’re always calling me a geek, but you know every word to every led zeppelin song, backwards and forwards. you can discuss in detail every major rock drummer between ’67 and ’84… and you watch ‘jeopardy!’ every night.’ - directly quoted from sam winchester in 14x20 'moriah'
in 13x06 'tombstone' when they go into the motel and dean talks about the cowboys, identifying all of them and going into quite a bit of detail about a few of them, even though nobody asked him about it and he is absolutely infodumping. 'he really likes cowboys.' 'yes. yes, he does.'
his knowledge of cars, particularly baby, and how he takes her for a ride when he's sad because of the comfort she provides him. also about baby and comfort, the way he offers to let people drive baby when he realises that they're sad, thinking it'll make them feel better as she makes him happy and he doesn't understand how else to help
in 1x03 'dead in the water' he talks to lucas about how he didn't speak as a kid, he plays with the toy soldiers and it doesn't come across as playing with them to make lucas trust him, it actually comes across as him finding genuine enjoyment in it
in 1x15 'the benders' when he's talking to the kid who mentions godzilla, dean brightens immediately and goes off topic talking about his favourite godzilla film, and has to be reminded that he's working a case by sam
the entirety of 14x04 'mint condition', how dean gets to express his interests and be himself and how a lot of people have mentioned that he seems to be genuinely himself in that episode instead of the act he puts on
larping with charlie, no explanation needed
he shuts down when things go badly, often blasting music and ignoring everything and everyone around him
he always picks scissors when playing rock, paper, scissors, and it's actually something that comes up multiple times within the show - in 2x17 'heart', sam says, 'dean, always with the scissors,' and along the same lines, his excitement both times he actually wins the game
in 1x04 'phantom traveller', dean is terrified because of the plane and sam points out that he's humming metallica. he replies that it calms him down, and that just seems very autistic
#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#autism#autistic dean winchester#actually autistic#he's autistic because i'm autistic and i relate to everything here way too much for him to not be#i actually don't care if half of these things aren't specific to autism#i relate to them and i'm autistic and i think those two things are linked so they are now#heavy emphasis on the routines with the clothes and food#also heavy HEAVY emphasis on the few times we get to see him be a nerd#mostly the scene where sam calls him out on it because this man is a nerd and i just want that to be known#to be fair the entirety of tfw 2.0 is autistic#sam dean jack and cas#the four flavours of autism#and about castiel and autism because i'm not making a separate post just for this#i always see it get played off as 'he's an angel he literally isn't human he's not autistic he's just not human'#one misha says you're wrong and that he's autistic#and two none of the angels are like that? like yeah they don't tend to get sarcasm but the level of that is almost exclusive to castiel and#he's weird even by angel standards#the gay angel is autistic#they're also all trans but that's a different conversation#this is way too many tags i'm clicking post goodbye#meta
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I love the idea that Dean wants Sam to agree that Cas is like another brother. The third Winchester brother and Sam is immediately like no. Dean is offended because wtf Sam he's laid his life down for us. While Sam is trying to actively get it through Dean's mind that there is already another brother which Dean waves off. And also it's cool that Dean sees Cas as a brother figure he just doesn't have that type of relationship with Cas. Which is the wrong thing to say apparently. Because well why aren't the two closer? What does it take for Sam to consider someone a brother huh? Does only blood count is that why he considers Adam a brother and not Cas? Meanwhile Sam is just sitting there thinking of all the reasons it would be very concerning if he saw Cas as a brother figure.
#Does Sam explain?#No#Course not#But he does ask Dean what his qualifications for a brother is because he can't just keep adopting anyone as a brother#He gets it with Cas sure but it seems like anyone that isn't actively trying to kill them (which even that isn't a real qualification) -#Dean throws them into a family dynamic#Dean denies it of course while Sam is listing everyone who falls underneath that category#Dean says Sam is worse about it because he adopted Jack#Sam is just ????#You adopt one kid and suddenly you're the one who folds people into the mix of a found family?#Not the guy who consistently holds family as a high regard as respect and isn't subtle about adopting you into his found family?#Sure okay Dean#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#sastiel#adam milligan
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mourning pre-dabb era badass ruthless nothing-stands-in-his-way unstoppable force cas. i really miss him.
#i don't dislike dabb era cas i just feel like that's not the same cas#it's cas with most of what made him unique and special and interesting filed off and replaced with a sticker that says 'dad'#i miss when he got to do shit. when he made his own plans and did what he wanted and got shit done#(yes sometimes i complain about the shit he does but regardless I do enjoy watching it)#he's just been blending into the background I think. and i wish I didn't feel that way but i do#kinda feels like he's there to defend jack and fight with dean and visit heaven. and that's about it#he deserves more than that#he deserves to be his own person#and that's why i don't think i'll ever be 100% onboard with dadstiel because dadstiel isn't a fully fledged person#after cas fought and died to be himself!#now he's mostly jack's dad. and i don't want him to be 'just' jack's dad than i want dean to be 'just' sam's brother/parent#spn#spn rewatch
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done. | d.w.
summary: you wake up to an empty bedroom, which isn't usually a good sign. but what you might find might not be too bad. OR, dean wants a normal life.
pairing: dean winchester x reader
word count: 1.7k+
warnings: fluff, surprise sam appearance, no specific pronouns used, no use of 'y/n'
a/n: it has been years since i've written any kind of fanfic, so please be gentle with me.
The moment your eyes fluttered open, you knew something wasn't right.
The air was a little too still, and your bed was a little too cold. There was no noise except for the gentle drip, drip, drip of the tap in your bathroom and the occasional rumbling of the bunker's old pipes. The light from your alarm clock illuminated the room in a dim red glow, and after rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you could just make out the time: 03:26.
You sat up slowly, squinting through the darkness to make out your surroundings. Your bedroom was in the same state you had left it in when you'd gone to bed, but there was something missing.
Rather, there was someone missing.
Dean's side of the bed was empty, the sheets strewn around haphazardly. There was no sign of him anywhere, not even the slightest thing to point you in his direction. You wondered if he'd had a nightmare and left the room to clear his thoughts.
You threw the blankets off your legs and shivered as the warmth from the covers instantly left you. Sliding your socked feet into your slippers, you wrapped your robe around your body, sighing in relief as the newfound warmth spread through you.
Despite being the only one in the room, you made sure to sneak out, careful not to make any noise. You tiptoed past Sam's room, knowing the smallest sound would wake him up—pure instinct.
There was no one in the library. Nor was there anyone in the kitchen. For the first time in what felt like a very long time, the bunker was empty. Normally, you were lulled to sleep by the faint clicks from Sam's keyboard or the light chatter from Cas or Jack, both of whom never needed to sleep –
A pang in your heart caused you to stop in your tracks.
Things were different now. The bunker was different. Two of the most important people in your life were gone, and you had no way of seeing them again. Despite your success in literally killing God, you couldn't help but mourn what used to be. You missed your little family, the little life you all made with each other.
You saw a faint flickering light from underneath the door to the "Dean-Cave" and heard a few familiar voices that made a smile creep onto your lips. Pushing the door open, you were greeted with the sight of just the person you were looking for.
Dean was fast asleep on one of the recliners, legs stretched out in front of him and neck craned at an awkward angle. A beer barely rested in his grasp as an episode of Scooby-Doo played on the flatscreen TV. Miracle was protectively curled around his feet, his big brown eyes staring up at you curiously.
You knew better than to wake Dean outright. For all you knew, there was a weapon expertly concealed and within arm's reach. Instead, you tiptoed into the room, reached for the TV remote, and turned down the volume slowly. Then, you took the beer from his hand and placed it on the side table before resting a gentle hand on his pyjama-covered knee, careful not to step on the dog.
"Dean," you whispered, thumb tracing gentle patterns.
Ever alert, Dean's eyes flickered open slowly. He looked around, confused for a moment, before his green eyes landed on you. For a moment, you worried that waking him was a mistake—he needed all the sleep he could get—but the faint smile that tugged on the corner of his mouth told you that you had done the right thing.
"Hey there, sleepyhead."
"Did I wake you?" His voice was laced with sleep, low and gravelly. If it wasn't three o'clock in the morning, your heart would have skipped a beat.
Oh, who were you kidding.
"No, no. You're okay," you smiled, standing back as Dean readjusted his position on the couch. He sat forward and winced as he stretched out his neck, finally rubbing his eyes. Miracle stood up, leaving the room with a huff, no doubt going back to your bedroom. "I woke up and you weren't there. I got worried."
"I'm good."
You raised a sceptical eyebrow.
"I'm good, promise," his tired eyes softened. "Just couldn't sleep before. Couldn't switch off."
You nodded in complete understanding. "Right."
You were going to try and get him to come back to bed—selfishly, you slept better when he was with you—but he just looked so damn comfortable in the recliner, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.
"You stay here," you said, voice still soft as a whisper. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm gonna go back to—"
"No, I'm awake now," he said, shooting you a pointed but playful look. He sat back in the recliner and patted his lap before stretching out his arms. "C'mere."
You used every ounce of energy you had to not run over and completely melt into his arms.
You moulded into him like a perfectly crafted puzzle piece, your legs and arms finding the most comfortable position almost instantly. Your head found its perfect spot somewhere just under the dip of his shoulder, and you couldn't help but breathe him in: smoke, beer, linen, and Dean. Your Dean.
"What were you thinkin' about?" you asked gently, wrapping one of your arms around his neck, your other hand intertwining with his. Dean was never really one to share his feelings, and though (with your help) he was starting to get better, there were times when you had to fight tooth and nail to bring down the steel walls he had put up.
According to him, it was one of your best strengths—being able to accept someone in their entirety, despite their faults, no matter how large. Your ability to empathise was beyond anything Dean could imagine. It was one of the reasons he loved and trusted you so deeply.
"Everythin'," he said with a sigh.
"Everything?" you repeated with a furrowed brow.
"Just," he began. "Everything that's happened. To Sammy. To me. To you. It's been a hell of a ride."
You nodded, trying to let your mind flick over the happier moments instead of the darker ones.
"It's been a lot," you agreed.
It was the understatement of the goddamn century.
"And I think about the people we lost," he paused, looking down at your interlaced fingers. "I think about every single one of 'em, all the goddamn time... And I wonder sometimes why I keep goin'."
You frowned, lips parted as you attempted to find some kind of response.
"But then I realised," he continued. "It's you."
You blinked. Once. Then twice. "Me?"
"After everythin', you're still here. I mean, you look at me like I'm some kinda hero or someth—"
"You are, Dean," you reassured. "I mean, you saved the entire world. More than once. You gotta stop saying you're not."
Dean sighed, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "See? All of that, and I’ve got nothin’ to give you."
"You give me everything just by being here. By coming home every day."
"You deserve more."
You rolled your eyes, sitting up to look at him directly with a firm, but loving look. This wasn’t a new conversation; in the past, the two of you had argued over whether or not you deserved Dean, or whether you deserved a life that was a little more sane… a little more normal. A life where you could wake up every day knowing that you didn't have to look over your shoulder and defend your every move.
These arguments usually resulted in screaming matches between the two of you.
Dean raised his hand, stopping you before you even got the chance to speak. "I didn’t mean that... I’ve been thinkin’... after tomorrow, that’s it.”
“What?”
“After tomorrow’s hunt. I’m done.”
You shook your head, disbelief quickly washing across your features. “You mean—?”
“I’m done.”
It felt like the air had been completely knocked from your lungs.
Done? You didn’t think such a concept existed for Dean. He had lived one way his entire life. Hunting was all he knew, all you knew. The idea of starting anew, starting fresh, was… oddly terrifying.
“I got a job application. I’ve filled it out—gonna hand it in at the end of the week.”
You could only shake your head in utter bewilderment.
“I’m tellin’ Sam tomorrow. He’s been thinkin’ about hanging it up too... for a while, I think.”
You had officially forgotten to breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, disguising your shock by clearing your throat. With wide eyes, you looked at Dean, thousands of words on the tip of your tongue, but none of them amounted to what you truly wanted to say.
You couldn't imagine it—waking up in the morning, working a 9-to-5 job, then heading back to a two-bedroom apartment in the middle of some city, drinking coffee, and going to meetings. You couldn't imagine leaving it all behind.
But then you looked at Dean, and for the first time, you noticed a hint of something different in his eyes. A spark of something that you just couldn't put your finger on. It was a look that made your insides buzz with a mixture of excitement and anxiety.
"Okay," was all you were able to say. "One more tomorrow. Then we're done."
"Deal."
You fell back into Dean's embrace and listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat. Your brain was filing through a hundred different thoughts at a million miles an hour, but the heaviness of your eyelids began to take over.
After tomorrow, everything would be over.
But everything would begin.
+++
When Sam woke that same morning—mind you, at a way more reasonable time than 3 a.m.—he also woke to a quiet bunker. There was no quiet chatter from you and Dean in the kitchen, no breakfast being made or coffee being brewed. It was silent.
He eventually found the two of you, curled up together on one of the recliners. He couldn’t imagine the position you were in being comfortable in any way, all squished together on the tiny couch, but the peaceful looks on both your faces made him pause.
It was still early, and you hadn’t planned on leaving for another few hours anyway. So Sam left you there. He could get everything ready himself.
Besides, it was only a simple vamp hunt.
a/n: that job application will continue to haunt my dreams
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x reader fluff#dean winchester fluff#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean x you#dean x y/n#dean winchester x y/n#sam winchester x reader#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#dean fluff#dean fic#supernatural fic#*my writing
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Dean's ribs are aching.
He presses a hand against his skin, feeling the solid bones under his palm, and tries to imagine the ornate carvings running across them - remembers what the x-ray looked like. But his mind keeps getting stuck on the feeling of Cas's hand, strong and sturdy, in the center of his chest, and the pleasant burn that'd taken his breath away when he'd pressed into him.
A sensation that had been perfectly balanced on the knife-edge of pain and pleasure.
Dean lets out a shaky breath and tugs the scratchy motel sheets closer as he turns over, unable to stop being so aware of it all. A particularly loud snore from the bed next to him tells him that Sam isn't having the same problem.
It only takes another few minutes of Dean gritting his teeth and willing himself to go to sleep before he gives up with an angry sigh.
When he exits the room quietly, hoping to get some air and clear his head, he nearly walks straight into Castiel himself. "Jesus, Cas!" Dean yelps, then catches his volume, glances at the room behind him, and adds in a hissed whisper, "What are you doing here?"
Cas, for once, looks startled and a little guilty. "Hello, Dean," he says, voice rumbling quietly, "my apologies, I didn't expect anyone to leave the room until the morning."
"Yeah, that doesn't really answer my question, buddy. You were kind of loitering."
Cas shifts his weight a little in a nervous gesture that amuses Dean because it looks almost human. "I've been informed that watching over you while you sleep from your bedside is" - he squints his eyes - "creepy."
Dean can't help the huff of a laugh that escapes him. "'Cause it is."
Cas frowns. "And I can no longer sense either of you due to your sigils, so..."
(Dean presses his hand to his chest, echoes of the pleasure-pain running through his ribs.)
Cas's eyes flick down at the movement, but snap back up before Dean can put a name to the expression that passes over Cas's face. "So I have been watching over you... both of you... from outside your room instead. While I still know your current location," he adds sadly.
"Keeping tabs on us like this is still creepy Cas," Dean says, but there's no heat in it. In fact, he's surprised to realise that he really doesn't mind the idea of Cas watching over him- them.
"I can no longer sense you," Cas repeats, more upset this time.
A blue neon sign for the motel shines from above them, casting a moody blue light over Cas - catching the tips of his messy hair, and lighting up his eyes so that they're almost glowing. He's lit up in a way that reminds Dean of the Angel he really is, and it makes his ribs ache.
Dean grips the shirt over his chest in a tight fist.
Again Cas's gaze flicks down.
"What do they say?" Dean says so quietly it's nearly just a breath.
Cas must understand what Dean means, even though what he said makes no sense, because he replies, "It means you are to be kept away from all the eyes of the Angels, and none have permission to know of your location or gaze upon you." Cas reaches a hand up, suspends it in the air, and then lets it fall back to his side.
Dean feels a pulse race through his bones as he impulsively reaches for Cas's hand and places it on his chest, covering it with his own and pressing it down firmly. Warmth that feels like protection and safety rushes out from where their hands press together.
"I give you my permission," Dean says quietly, into this moment they've created, under the unnatural blue light of the motel sign, and the silent night around them.
Cas's eyes are wide and Dean feels his hand shaking. "You..." he visibly swallows and licks his lips. "You shouldn't say things like that to an Angel, Dean."
"Yeah? Well, too late. I mean it Cas. You've got my permission. And I know that means jack to symbols literally carved onto my bones, but it means you physically checking in with me if you want to know where we are - use your cellphone - and if I text you our motel room, and you're not, y’know, doing rebel Angel stuff, you can be our lookout." Dean feels silly all of a sudden and drops Cas's hand, stuffing his own into the pockets of the sweatpants he shoved on before he left the room. "And if I can't sleep, maybe we can talk outside again like tonight. Or whatever."
After a beat of pure silence the light on Cas's face from the sign seems to intensify and Dean can suddenly hear it buzzing.
The handprint on his shoulder pulses in time with the beat of his heart and the ache in his ribs.
"I would like that," Cas rumbles, a gentle smile on his lips.
Dean clears his throat and absentmindedly rubs his chest again. "Okay. Well. Good talk. I should- I should go back to bed- lots of big days coming up- world to save- goodnight, Cas." Dean doesn't want to call what he's doing running away, but he certainly does a good impression of it when he turns around and ducks back into the room.
A soft, "Goodnight, Dean," follows him inside before the door clicks shut behind him.
#anyone else sad that they never bring up the rib carvings ???? just me ???#destiel#destiel fanfiction#spn#destiel ficlet#deancas#castiel's angel powers#more fic at 12am lets gooooo ! who needs sleep anyway sleep is for the weak (I'm saying this and sobbing on my floor I need to go to bed)
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Sam: hey Cass! I made you a drivers licence to go with your truck. Kind of a tradition between me and Dean that when you first drive by yourself you get one with your real name. Well, I guess two people isn't much of a tradition, but, here! I know it's a bit late but, y'know, there was a lot going on.
Cas: thank you that's very.............[squints at the details] the name is wrong.
Sam: Oh, well, you needed a surname and I thought Winchester would be-
Cas: No, that's fine. But my name is Cas.
Sam: Yeah, I put Cass.
Cas: No, it's Cas. With one S. My name is Castiel. Can you not- do you not know how to spell my name? Sam, if you need to borrow Jack's reading books, you just need to ask him, he'd be happy to help you.
Sam: Wh- dude I know how to spell! But we've been spelling your name as Cass-two-Ss this entire time. That's how you spell Cass!
Cas: We? As in, both of you? And - not Bobby surely? He knew how to spell my name?
Sam: Look, look, look I can prove it. [Pulls out his Blackberry that he's kept since 2009 and scrolls up a text chain with Dean] Look, "CASS said we're all boned." That's like two days after he met you.
Cas: I- this is...ah I understand. You faked this. You're doing a prank on me. Some sort of Gabriel-esque unreality game. I will not be fooled again, as I was when you showed me the video of "house hippos". Well played, Sam, but not well enough.
Sam: I'm not- urgh, [calling out] DEAN
Dean [yelling back from the kitchen] YEAH?
Sam: HOW DO YOU SPELL CASS? ONE S OR TWO?
Dean: HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HIM, MAN? IT RHYMES WITH ASS. TWO.
Sam: see? And Dean gave you that name so really, he's the authority. You're Cass.
Cas:
Sam:
Cas:
Sam:
Cass, resigned: our partnership has been built on a foundation of misunderstanding and foolishness. But still we must endure. Thank you for the card. Samm.
Samm: You're welcome. Hey. Did you just feel like a, reverberation in the universe? Like something small but significant has changed?
Cass: No.
Samm: Ah, that's a relief.
Deen: HEY EVERYBODY, COME GET SOME LUNCH.
#SILLY#just to say btw not being able to spell well or intuitively doesn't make you stupid!!#it is not an indicator of your worth nor the quality of your ideas or thoughts#literacy isn't an easy skill for a lot of people and so so many have been failed by school systems globally#anyway. hehehe#cass#castiel supernatural#cawis creates
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Cereal Confessions
Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N Female character
Summary: Y/N is an emotional drunk, Dean catches her in the kitchen with a box of cereal.
Warning: None
English isn't my first language.
The bunker was quiet—eerily so—as Dean Winchester pushed open the heavy steel door. It had been a long day of hunting, and all he wanted was a cold beer and a decent night's sleep. What he didn’t expect was the muffled sound of sniffling coming from the kitchen.
Dean froze, hand instinctively reaching for the knife tucked at his waistband. He crept closer, boots silent against the smooth floors, until he rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks.
There she was, Y/N.
Her hair was disheveled, her makeup smudged, tears streaking her cheeks in black lines. She was sitting on the floor, clutching a cereal box like it was a lifeline, her gaze fixed on the cartoon character printed on the front.
“Y/N?” Dean’s voice was rough but gentle, the kind of tone he reserved for the people he cared about most.
Her head snapped up, eyes wide with surprise, but they quickly softened when she realized it was him. “Oh, hey, Dean,” she slurred, her voice thick with alcohol. “Didn’t know you were home.”
Dean stepped closer, crouching down beside her. “What are you doing?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.
"J-just went our for the night, for a drink or t-two y'kno."
He could clearly hear that it had been more than a drink of two, unless she meant an entire bar or two.
She held up the cereal box like it was a holy relic.
"You better hide that from Sam before he takes it away. You know how he is about his rabbit food." Dean jokes walking a little closer."
“Just look at him, Dean.” She pointed to the smiling cartoon mascot. “He’s so lonely!"
"W-what?"
"Always there. Watching. Waiting. Families and couples come and go, and he’s just…left in the corner. Alone. Unloved.”
Dean blinked. “Uh…"
Her fingers traced the box’s edge, her expression crumpling as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “They toss him away when they’re done.”
"Are we still talking about cereal, sweetheart?”
And there it was, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall. The weight behind her drunken ramblings hit Dean like a sucker punch. This wasn’t about cereal. This was about her.
He sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face as he debated what to do. Part of him wanted to let her be, to let her cry it out. But the other part—the bigger part—couldn’t leave her like this.
“Y/N,” he said softly, shifting to kneel in front of her. “No one here tossing you away. Not Sam, not Cas, not even Jack. You’re stuck with us, apocalypse 3.0 or not.”
Her teary eyes met his, glassy and uncertain. “Even you?” she whispered, her voice so small it nearly broke his heart.
Dean swallowed hard, his throat tightening. He rose to his feet, pulling her with him, standing so close that Y/N had to tilt her head back to keep looking at him. “Definitely not me,” he murmured, his voice low and steady.
Before she could process his words, he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a kiss that was as soft as it was grounding.
For a moment, the world stopped spinning, and all Y/N could feel was the warmth of Dean’s mouth against hers. He could taste the saltiness of her tears but didn't care.
When he finally pulled away, she blinked up at him, her thoughts no longer muddled by alcohol but clear and sharp.
“Come on,” Dean said, offering her his hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up and to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Y/N took his hand, her heart still racing from the kiss. “Okay,” she whispered, letting him pull her towards her bedroom.
As Dean led her out of the kitchen, the cereal box lay forgotten on the floor, its lonely mascot smiling up at the ceiling.
---
What do you think? @jackles010378 . Thanks for tagging me in the story idea.
@libby99hb @winchesterwild78 @suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @deans-baby-momma @ancles @tulipsvanilla @thesilmarillionblog
@jays-bonnie-on-the-side @kr804573 @kamisobsessed @hobby27 @globetrotter28 @kindollss @muhahaha303
@shadysoulangel @lyarr24 @spxideyver @impala67rollingthroughtown @panickedbitch @deansimpalababy @livya99
@yvonneeeee @ladykitana90 @stoneyggirl2 @imsiriuslyreal @panickedbitch @roseblue373
@n-o-p-e-never
#jensen ackles#fanfic#x reader#jensen fucking ackles#fluff#dean winchester#spn#supernatural fandom#supernatural dean
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During any of s6Cas’s future deaths, does s6Dean think “fuck he wasn’t real was he”? about meeting s16Cas and him being around in the far future? Or does he think that they’ve changed timelines so Cas being dead is Dean messing up and losing a future that has Cas in it (and therefore a future where Dean grows old because how can he keep going without him…)
Or does he desperately cling to the idea that Cas WILL be back, he’s SEEN him…
Oh definitely the third one
I think it would make Cas' death more devastating for Dean. I mean, think about it
Dean's experience with future time travel (especially with Endverse) made him believe his present-day actions influence the future. So seeing Cas die is not just seeing his best friend die; it's seeing his best friend's future happily married self die too. It's knowing he's killed Cas in more ways than one
it's not just the feeling of loss anymore, it's the feeling of ripping away something amazing from one of the most important people in your life. It's the feeling of destroying someone's happiness because you were careless and crass
Like, at first, S6 Dean would think his future is guaranteed to be good. I like to think Dean clings to the idea that "If Cas' body is still here, it means we can still bring him back"
So, I think Castiel's Death to Lucifer felt like a nail (the first of many) in his coffin. His anger towards Jack is his own anger towards himself. His resentment towards Jack is because he thinks Jack is powerful enough to destroy the happy future Cas had.
Which makes Cas coming back from the Empty the first time to be so funny, cause in this AU, it's basically Dean celebrating that his guaranteed happy future isn't too far away. That Cas and Sam are gonna be okay and married and happy
Then the thing with the final confession happens, and Dean has reached a form of acceptance that he'll never see future Cas ever again
but that's angsty. Ask me funnier questions
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Zachariah's "Mary"
DEAN: (shaky) Sammy, let’s get out of here. MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. (Dean stops) I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. (She blinks and her eyes turn yellow.)
5x16
///////////////////////////
Michael re: Dean + family
JACK: No. Dean -- he's strong. MICHAEL: He's a gnat. I'm a god. Who would you bet on? JACK: You don't know anything about Dean. MICHAEL: I'm in his head...literally. I know everything. Like, I know how sad he was when you died...on the outside. On the inside, well, it's not that he was happy -- he just didn't care. 'Cause you're not Sam. You're not Cas. You're a new burden that he was handed. You're a weak, helpless thing. You think that they care about you, love you? You're a job, a job none of them wanted. And you --
&
DEAN: Shut up! MICHAEL: You don't need them. You don't even like them. They're not your family -- they're your responsibilities. They're a weight around your neck.
14x10
BONUS:
DEAN: The hard way. Surviving a lonely childhood, a stinking war... only to get married and have his wife taken by a demon... and later killed by one himself. That man got a bum rap around every turn. ... HENRY: I'm sorry. I wish I had been there for him. ... DEAN: Your responsibility was to your family, not some glorified book club!
8x12
&
JACK: NO! Leave me. I can't stop this. I'm coming apart. I don't want to hurt you. Don't let me hurt you. DEAN: Hey, hey, hey, we're not giving up on you, okay? (to Sam) Uh... magic. Magic. One of Rowena's spells. Come on, we've got to do something!
15x18
///
Kids aint supposed to be grateful! They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart.
#i'll just leave this here#anxiety is the uncharitable assumption about what you mean to your family#spn 14x10#spn 5x16#jack dean mary#mary dean jack#jack and dean#it's about the anxiety maestro#and jack ISN'T like sam or cas because at his core he's like <OMITTED>#family responsibilities
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Dean wakes up and it's the 24th of January. His 46 yo body aches in new parts that he knows were fine last year but it's nothing he really minds nowadays. Sometimes he can't even believe he made it that far, so if the punishment these days for defying Chuck and Death several times in the past is backpain and some aching joints, that's more than welcome. 24th of January it's like any other day for him. He hasn't celebrated his birthday in years, maybe since he was eight and just because he stole a biscuit and some candles that clearly didn't add up to the right number. A birthday celebration is something Sam always had because he damn well made sure of it. So this year, the 24th of January lands on a Friday that looks like every other Friday when you are (finally) retired from hunting and you live in a big house with your now husband that came back from the Empty and decided to stay for good after a very heart-touching reunion where everyone cried like a baby (including Sam). Said husband is now missing from the shared bed and his side is slightly cold but since he put all the cards (and his heart) on the table, a missing Cas isn't something that scares him anymore.
Sam's in the kitchen, drinking something that's doesn't look like coffee but fortunately isn't a smoothie either. The rays of morning sun that enter from the kitchen windows reflects on his face, his skin looks healthier as it does his own since all of them left the bunker, and Dean is so glad he got to live enough to see his little brother grow and become the man he is today.
"Hey! Where's everyone?" He asks, ruffling Sam's hair quickly enough to avoid retaliation.
Sam huffs and closes the book he's currently reading. Something on civil rights that probably has to do with the online degree he started to pursue a year ago but maybe it's Sam's morning lecture because that's what lawyers-to-be like to read. Dean prefers novels and fiction in general and his growing library is a testament to that.
"Cas and Eileen went grocery shopping" he says. "They took Miracle for a walk and Jack tagged along".
Jack has been spending some time in Heaven these days. There are a lot of things to be fixed and rebuilt under God's supervision but most days, when he isn't needed, he loves to stay in his room reading some comics, gardening with his Dad or going fishing with Dean (the first time he said "Dad! Look what I caught!" Dean cried so hard he couldn't stop for what felt like hours, scaring all the inhabitants of the lake and the poor boy in the process). So, yes, Jack has things to do Upstairs but he wanted to be at home when Uncle Sam and Uncle Eileen came visiting and decided to stay for the night.
He hears Baby's rumble accompanied by a happy bark soon followed by a soft crack of the main door. Both Cas and Eileen carry an excesive number of grocery bags for a single meal for today and Dean doesn't understand why since he know the pantry is more or less full but that feeling is quickly forgotten when Cas makes a beeline (bags and all) to put a kiss directly on his lips. It's quick and chaste, just a brush of lips on lips, but Earth-shattering anyways. Some form of a ritual between them, kissing the other one every time one of them come back from an errand or from just staying outside gardening or giving Baby some maintenance. The kiss means I love you, I'll always come back to you, and it hasn't lost his meaning after all these years.
Dean's voice comes as a squeak after that and he tries to mask it with a manly cough that fools exactly no one. Less alone Cas, whose big smile holds the brightness of a thousand lights.
"Do you need some help with that?"
"We are fine", Eileen says at the same time that Sam says "We should continue fixing the basement, don't you think?"
And that's a weird thing to say because the basement has been Dean's work in progress since he and Cas bought the house four years ago and the second thing Dean's hands love doing the most after touching Cas (out of the bedroom that means everywhere whenever he wants but inside most of the time there are rules) is fixing things. And Dean loves his brother's company, he really does, but he can't do jack shit in that regard so Dean works on it in his time alone. But he follows Sam anyways and lets Cas, Eileen and Jack do their thing since, after coming from the Empty, Cas discovered an interest in cooking (with varying degrees of success) and probably he wants to handle that today.
And ok, maybe being retired from active hunting (not from training new recruits, mind you) has softened Dean's instincts because he should have suspected that there was a plan behind everything because, when they go back to the house, the dining room has been decorated with birthday paraphernalia and the table is full of food and the people he loves the most are wearing a small party hat (even Miracle!) and matching smiles. He doesn't cry when a big pie is placed in front of him with two candles shaped in the form of a four and six and Jack proudly announces that all of it was made from scratch by he and Dad. He doesn't cry when Miracle comes with a box in her mouth that contains a ticket "to anywhere in the country, just you and me, Dean". He doesn't cry either when Sam and Eileen give him a gift of their own in the shape of an envelope that contains an ultrasound of who's going to be a future Bobby or Mary Ellen. And he definitely doesn't cry when he is suffocated in a big hug by his whole family and Cas whispers "I love you so much, Dean" and Jack says out loud "I love you, Dad!".
The question that has been trapped inside his chest the whole day escapes from his mouth only when he and Cas are alone in their room at night.
"Why all of this?"
Cas kisses him. Soft, languid and slowly, like the passage of time.
"I can remember you been proud of us everytime we achieve something" he says. "When Jack built a chair for his room without using his powers, the first time I changed Baby's oíl without your help, when Sam announced he wanted to study Law again, when Eileen got the job she wanted. You were so happy for all of us, Dean, but you should be celebrated too".
There are a lot of things Dean wants to say but none of them come to mind. He's also at lost for words when Cas produces a small box with a ribbon from a lingerie shop he recognises.
Cas's smirk and raised eyebrow are full of dirty promises and sexy rules he's more than happy to follow. But that's, well, that's a story for another time.
"
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Mildly obsessed with the idea that angels (and nephilim) see more colors than humans do.
Jack doesn't realize that sometimes he sees things that Sam and Dean don't. It just never comes up.
But then one day, he and Sam are poking around one of the storage rooms in the bunker, and Sam discovers a big box of prisms in various shapes and sizes.
"Oh man, I used to love playing with these when I was a kid!" he says with a huge smile.
"Are they game pieces?" Jack asks, picking a pyramid-shaped one.
"They're called prisms," Sam says. "Come on, I'll show you."
Sam takes Jack up to the roof, the latter carefully carrying the box. On the way up, he explains about light refractions. Jack listens with rapt attention, as he always does whenever Sam teaches him things. He's pretty sure that Sam is the smartest human in the world. Or, at least, the smartest human that Jack has ever met.
When they get to the roof, Sam shows him how to angle the prisms just right so that a rainbow appears on the floor.
"It's like magic!" Jack exclaims.
"Nah, it's just science," Sam laughs.
Science was so freakin' cool.
They spend the next few minutes holding up multiple prisms, trying to get the perfect angles to combine the rainbows together into one big super-rainbow.
"Okay, I got these four to merge," Jack says, holding two prisms between the fingers of each hand.
"Almost." Sam nods. "I think if you maybe lift them higher, you can get the colors to touch."
"They are touching," Jack says. "See?"
Sam looks at the ground again. There's about an inch and a half of space between each rainbow.
"The color right next to the violet on this one is overlapping with the color next to the red on that one, and then also the color next to that color," Jack continues.
Sam moves his gaze from the ground to Jack. He tries to spot the kid's usual tells—the ones he has whenever he tries to pull a prank on him, Dean, or Cas.
"What are the names of those colors, by the way?" Jack asks, and then clarifies: "The English names. I only know them in Enochian."
Sam realizes that Jack isn't joking around.
"It's so weird. These colors are everywhere, but I've never been able to find crayons that match them," Jack continues.
"Um...I don't know, buddy," Sam says. He tries to keep his tone casual. "I bet Cas knows, though."
"Probably," Jack agrees. "Cas pretty much knows everything."
Sam chuckles and shoots a quick text to Dean:
something weird on roof. bring cas
Dean and Cas materialize on the roof a few seconds later. Castiel almost never flies in the bunker; he's learned that most humans find it unsettling and rude to suddenly appear before them, and he doesn't want to make his human family uncomfortable in their own home—and he wants to set a good example for Jack.
Cas looks worried. He wouldn't fly if he didn't think it was absolutely necessary. Sam feels mildly guilty for how he phrased his text.
"What's wrong?" Dean immediately asks, already scanning the roof for potential threats.
"Nothing's wrong," Sam says. "Can both of you come over here real quick?"
When they do, Sam points at the colors on the ground.
"Are these rainbows touching?" he asks.
"No," Dean says, at the same time that Cas says, "Yes."
"You and Dean can't see these colors?" Jack asks, bewildered.
"They can't," Cas answers. "Humans can only see a certain spectrum of color. Other species, like mantis shrimp, can see more. But still not as many as angelic beings."
"So you and Jack just see a bunch of crazy colors all the time?" Dean says. "That's trippy as hell."
"How are we just learning about this now?" Sam says.
"It's never come up," Cas shrugs. He goes over to Jack and picks a couple more prisms out of the box to inspect and angle in the sunlight.
They stay on the roof to watch the sunset. Sam and Dean ask Cas and Jack if they see any extra colors. They do.
Later that night, Jack tries to describe the colors that he and Cas can see. He's unsuccessful, but the effort is appreciated.
One of the ways Jack tries to describe the colors is in terms of taste, physical sensation, and sound. Which is how Sam and Dean learn that angels and nephilim experience varying degrees of synesthesia.
#jack kline#supernatural#castiel#castiel is jack's dad#supernatural headcanon#jack the nephilim#destiel#(like in the background)#sam winchester#dean winchester#supernatural drabble#sam winchester and jack kline
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Hi, scoobydoodean! Are you of the opinion that Cas' confession parallels John's private speech to Dean before he went to take Azazel's deal which killed him. Like, they're both deals to save Dean. And they only decided to say things left unsaid about how much they loved Dean and were proud of who he was, right before they knew they were going to die. I don't know if that's a stretch, and if it's not, what does it say about Cas and Dean if it does parallel John? I don't know.
You know—I could have sworn I've mentioned that very thing before, but probably just in passing, because I can't find it in my archive. Cas and John have some interesting parallels, and I don't doubt Dean notices (and occasionally chafes) at their similarities (because their similarities tend to dig into some of Dean's biggest issues with his dad). It isn't just that Cas and John both sacrifice themselves for Dean, giving him a deathbed speech about what a good person he is (one that is touching and heartfelt but still comes with painful consequences for Dean that they don't foresee).
John and Cas have also both been known to do the following:
Ignore phone calls for weeks at a time.
Disappear without anyone knowing where they are for long periods, leaving their loved ones worrying.
Try to handle The Mission alone and ice others out of it to "protect" them.
Die leaving Dean to care for, protect, and then (if necessary) kill their sons—sons who are being pursued by powerful forces who want to manipulate and use them—sons who are not actually children.
Trade out a car for a truck, funnily enough.
John and Cas are also both soldiers, and Cas understands the soldier's mentality: The Mission comes before everything (this is what Sam and Dean ultimately clash with John over at the end of season 1). Cas has admired John's handwriting (8.08), and I think is probably a little interested in John as a model of the failed protector, though he knows Dean considers John a deadbeat (5.17). Cas has his own issues with his own father to contend with, and I think because Chuck is the absent father but not the protector father (except very specifically with Cas in a few early moments—bringing him back to life 2-3 times)... Maybe one could argue that Cas wishes god was more like John—that his absences weren't always for lack of love but were somehow mission-oriented. Chuck bringing Cas back a few times gives Cas hope that maybe his father is out there watching and caring about him and ready to help him despite his absence and silence. Even as late as season 14, Cas goes off alone to find a way to reach out to his father for help with Jack. Perhaps we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that Cas going off alone in search of help from an absent father instead of communicating with his family is part of what leads into Dean and Cas's "divorce arc". Perhaps we should consider more carefully if something underlying Dean and Cas's conflicts is how they perceive their fathers.
Maybe to an extent, quite unconsciously, Cas wants to prove that he can be absent from his family and still love and protect them from a distance... because if Cas can do that successfully, it means maybe god loves him from a distance too? Maybe he thinks it can make sense of Chuck's behavior—bringing Cas back several times but still so silent. It isn't until AU Michael tells Cas that Chuck is a writer looking at failed drafts that Cas starts to catch on—and he doesn't want to catch on, is the thing. He wants to reject Michael's narrative. Having Michael in particular (in Dean's body) tell Cas this also pits Cas and Dean's perspectives on fathers against one another—Cas's hopeful belief vs. Dean's nihilism. When Dean pleads with god on behalf of his family, he does it faithlessly because he already knows you can never count on your father to help you no matter how hard you plead and cry (1.09, 5.14, 13.01).
As for what this means for Dean and Cas? Well—I've said it before and I'll say it again—fandom could stand to calm down about the "implications" of John parallels. It's often treated like some sort of condemnation to be "paralleled" with John, but... it isn't? Sam, Dean, and Cas all have parallels with John at various points, and it doesn't make any of them bad people. It makes them messy and interesting and (for lack of a better word) human. I think Cas and Dean could have some fascinating fights along this subject and I want to see more of them. Sorry but I love it when they fight it entertains me greatly.
#mail#your father... beautiful handwriting#and cas is my best friend#cas and god#i dont deserve what he put on me#8.08#1.09#5.14#13.01#2.01#15.18#5.17#john#chuck#parallels
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the rupture is both their faults, actually, and i'm going to yell about it now
here's the thing. the breakup scene in 15x03 once again starts on cas' terms, same as the argument in 15x02. dean has just gotten done wrapping up the ghost business by checking in with stevie, then he checks in with sam and tries to console him about losing rowena. then he goes to pour himself a drink, and that's when cas shows up and starts the conversation. i can't gauge his intention here, but his actions back dean into a corner. even if dean doesn't want to have this conversation for very good reasons, cas is going to make it happen.
consider that dean doesn't know what went down in the crypt. he has absolutely no clue what happened between cas and belphegor. cas has given him almost no detail about what happened. here's what dean knows at the start of this: cas killed belphegor, and the crook was destroyed. that's it. cas reveals during this conversation that it's because belphegor was lying, using them, and planning to suck up all the souls, which is why "the plan changed."
coupla things here. one. someone lying to dean, using him, and then sucking up a bunch of souls to get power and become a new god? yeah, dean has seen that before. that is beat-for-beat what cas did in season 6. i don't think that's lost on dean. i think he's remembering right then and there how he stuck up for cas then, how he refused to believe cas could have betrayed them when everyone else had given up on cas already. and how he was wrong. not to mention what followed.
that brings us to chuck. i cannot overstate the importance of the chuck reveal as context here. dean is questioning literally everything about his life. that includes cas. chuck pulling the strings could mean chuck is pulling cas' strings too. dean is wrong about this - he's being very paranoid and it's not good for him or anyone. but it also makes sense in context because the context is horror after horror after horror.
and that brings us to mary (and jack, and ketch, and rowena). are any of these deaths cas' fault? nope! but dean can trace all these deaths back to cas breaking the trust between them by not talking about his concerns about jack. dean feels that cas has broken the trust between them, and even though it's unfair to blame cas for this whole situation, it's perfectly fair for dean to feel betrayed on some level.
snapping at cas in the moment is not kind and not fair. under (relatively) normal circumstances, dean would quickly and sincerely apologize. but right now he's at his breaking point. and i can see why he's sick of extending trust and getting burned.
now cas' response. "you used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt." it's true! but cas isn't recognizing that his actions affect this trust. cas is not automatically entitled to dean's trust. trust is earned, and it needs to be reciprocal. cas also needs to trust dean, and dean is wondering if cas does trust him if he didn't trust him enough to tell him about jack. we know cas trusts dean, but dean doesn't necessarily know that, especially when his faith in everything is at an all-time low. but in spite of that, cas is placing the burden here on dean, blaming dean for not granting cas his trust and the benefit of the doubt. i don't think that's especially fair either.
then he brings up his powers failing - it's an odd segue because they haven't really talked about this. this has not been made clear to dean or to the audience. then it's about dean not talking to him. can this be chalked up to lingering resentments from season 14? maybe? because if cas is talking about trying to talk to dean over and over in season 15, we only have two examples. 15x01, dean asks if cas is okay and when cas answers, dean ends the conversation. dean starts this conversation so it's not a great example of cas "trying to talk about it." and then 15x02, where cas corners dean and starts talking - just like this conversation in 15x03.
i'm not saying that if someone talks to dean when he doesn't want to have a talk, that all bets are off and dean can do whatever he wants. nope, not at all. but it's been a pattern for the last few seasons at least that dean avoids a conversation he's not able to handle -> someone else decides they need to have the conversation -> they force dean into it -> dean either walks away, beginning this cycle over, or he expresses upset, which makes him look like the bad guy.
"you don't want to hear it" may be fair. but "you don't care" is absolutely not fair. the problem is that dean cares too much and it's choking him. he's lost almost everyone. he is not able to bear it. he's retreating because he can't bear it, and then cas is accusing him of not caring at all at the first sign of dean not bending over backwards to care for cas. (as stated above, he is actively caring for sam, and everyone else he usually would care for is dead. so this is about cas)
finally, cas leaves when dean doesn't immediately apologize and talk to him and say he trusts and believes in him. cas turns and walks away. he has every right to do that, but he is an independent person with autonomy and he is making this choice. dean contributed to cas making this choice, but he's not solely responsible for it.
let's say their relationship is a bridge over a chasm. this is not a case of dean burning the bridge, though you can read it that way if you want to believe dean is at fault for everything. this is dean and cas retreating to their own sides of the chasm rather than meeting on the bridge. dean is very often the one to walk out on that bridge. this is one of the only times he doesn't, and cas takes that as a personal betrayal. but cas isn't walking out onto the bridge either.
#yeah it did make me mad#at least i was prepared for it#i do see why dean comes across as the bad guy#but even if the deangirlism wasn't terminal i'd still be seeking more balance in the fault here#spn#spn rewatch#15x03 the rupture
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Talking about mommy issues... I'm not a 100% fan of Jack as the destiel son BUT it's important to me that going there means acknowleding that "archetypically" speaking Dean is The Mother while Cas is The Father*. And this isn't just because, when Sam accuses Dean of acting like their father, he replies with a Freudian slip if I've ever heard one ("I'm not his mother"), it's also why Chuck's myth-retelling doesn't work (Abraham is totally Cas and he and Jack subverted that myth) 'cause first he doesn't understand Dean and second he's not an astute storyteller and doesn't realize his story was already subverting the myth he wanted to re-enact. Therefore he should've created a situation where Jack (The Son) was forced to kill Cas (The Father) if he wanted to provoke Dean, this was Jack's original sin according to Dean, come on Chuck, it's been 14 seasons, everybody already knew Dean was not gonna kill Jack. He's totally fine with caging and entrapping his putative sons but he draws a line at killing them (insert that meme from Community). (I mean, I know Chuck wants Dean to do his bidding but after 14 years he had to get a little more creative than that. Maybe he should've listened to his editor Metatron, just saying. "maybe less about detail and more about balance") ((hello Becky and Metatron parallel)).
It would have also meant that Jack's story would've gone back to its genesis + the long tail of dead parental figures (not only Kelly and Cas but Nick/Lucifer and Mary and whoever else I'm forgetting lol).
By the end of s14 there is a short-circuits of symbols so it all had to go tits up, hence the rising of the dead etc. etc.
*This doesn't mean they are the Good Mother and the Good Father as they're clearly not but these are the primordial energies that they both channel to Jack. Also, obvs patriarchy in SPN is very much alive and well as demonstrated by the fact that the Good Mother and the Good Father are only the Dead Mother and the Dead Father and unfortunately for Jack this is what he got when he was born. He's not even born and he already lives in an ideal world with ideal figures compared to whom he'll always fall short.
Also, Jack's got the power to wake up from the Empty his putative father because his Mother (Dean) is grieving his death and he wants to please him: Jack is a total mama's boy.
#chuck coercing dean into the role of The Father is part of the reason why his story has never worked#this doesn't mean that dean doesn't uphold patriarchal values cause he clearly does#nurturing and caring are nice traits but they can also be unhealthy#it's quite telling that in the show about absent fathers dean never leaves and when he does is to follow other father-figures#and that is number one issue with cas is him leaving#which could mean nothing#supernatural#spn#castiel#dean winchester#jack kline#chuck shurley#spn s14#super-m/Others
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