#jack and will should've gotten together

[scootersscooter]

Something beautiful about Will and Jack not getting together in the original Will & Grace. Something cowardly about them not getting together in the reboot.

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

okay so, having now seen furiosa: a mad max saga opening night and having Ruminated on my thoughts, I am going to give my two-pence on the movie even though nobody asked or wanted it - you're getting it anyway!

but before going into the full thing, I actually re-watched fury road today, bc I just wanted to contrast it now that we know furiosa's full story that lead her to her trek in fury road, and I just had mad max on the brain (and also I love that movie).

spoilers under the cut below!!

first, I already knew before seeing the prequel, that that scene in fury road where furiosa breaks down after learning about what happened to 'the green place,' was going to now hit 2x as hard once we learn what really happened the moment she was ripped away, and...yeah, it's super painful to watch. it was already a very emotional scene, but now having known how much pain and struggle it costed her, how many times furiosa desperately made her bet to get back home and fell short - you can really feel her grief

funnily enough though, I was shocked to find myself tearing up not during that scene, but when furiosa was reunited with the last of the many mothers. having just watched her ripped away so unfairly as a defenseless child, her whole world destroyed and clinging onto this dream of one day, getting to embrace her family - you can't help it!! I started tearing up when the other woman rushed to furiosa, embracing her with the gentle touch of their foreheads, 'this is our furiosa' 😭 like..she did it!! she made it home!!! - also, I learned in the credits - that woman was actually the same little girl, valkyrie, in furiosa who was her friend!!! that girl saw her friend get snatched and pulled away from their home, and then finally, both grown, they reuinite! I just thought that was sweet

what max says to her about hope in the scene after they find the mothers, 'if you can't fix what's broken..you'll go insane.' - my mind immediately jumped to dementus. we get this glimpse that he once had a wife and child(ren) he loved, that were either taken from him or killed, and he tells furiosa in their stand-off more or less how that destroyed him mentally, further plunging him into this hateful madman who acts so cruelly to others. he couldn't 'fix' it by getting them back ('I want them back!!' 'I can't!!'), the one thing he loved that kept him sane, and so he lost his humanity.

I saw a post of someone saying how ricktus's death (immortan joe's son) is 10x more satisfying after having seen what he (nearly) did to child furiosa...abso-fucking-lutely (though, I think with that in mind, furiosa should've gotten a part in it..)

also, max & and furiosa's dynamic after knowing about her & jack...the parallels! the parallels!! their gradual bond of trust, how fluidly they work together to kill/fight the enemies of the citadel akin to her and jack vs. dementus and gang, etc.

this saga, of course, is about hope and redemption, alluded to in both fury road and the prequel. in fury road, max says (I think in his opening monologue) how he was once strived to be a 'righteous warrior', who could do good and help others. later, when one of the wives finds the warboy nux, he's distraught bc he thinks his chances for greatness are gone, but then she tells him that maybe, he's destined for something greater - and that would be, of course, later sacrificing himself to save her and the rest by crashing the rig into the war party. in furiosa, jack says how his parents were valiant warriors, and how he hopes one day, he could be the same - also, later, fulfilling that by sacrificing himself so that furiosa might escape dementus and the destroyed gastown. it's just such an amazing string of parallels - all three men, looking to do something great, and then, through furiosa, they're given that chance and achieve something good even amongst the destruction!! but it's only bc of furiosa, this harbinger of hope, that they do so - she's the tie between them all, the embodiment of that goodness!!! it's! just! so! good!!!

honestly there's probably way more parallels out there I'm sure ppl will bring up, but those were the things that struck me. now, onto my actual thoughts on the prequel.

--I'll start by saying I was unbelievably excited to see this movie. I'm annoyed though, bc despite knowing about it and wanting to see it once it was released, I literally only learned it was coming out a week before the release date. straight up, the press for it was so poor, not once did I hear about it before the trailer randomly crossed my feed one day - and considering how popular fury road is, I find that bizarre (but, I'll bet you a good couple bucks, that the press/hype was deliberately poor bc of the movie company execs, due to this being a female lead film 😠) - but it did mean I didn't have to wait too long, and that I did watch the trailer about 13 times on my own accord until then..

--having read the reviews, I do agree, it is a bit slower then fury road - but, that's really only bc it's a character story instead. fury road takes places in the current time of the film and the actions that follow, whereas the prequel is specifically about furiosa, so it's honed less to the action and more about a certain character, in my opinion. but it's just as good for a character story! it does an excellent job of unfolding furiosa's journey, and really, if you're gunna compare everything in the franchise to fury road, it's never gunna live up. that said, there's still excellent action and real nail-biting moments.

--I will say though, that I found it almost...darker, then fury road? fury road is definitely intense and there's of course violence, but it never openly tips into anything past pg-13; the darkness that is there, is more or less touched upon by the narrative (like, we can get a sense of what must've happened to the wives (ie assault) and why they escaped once we see how immortan joe regards them as property, the suffering furiosa must've went through by the pure vitriol look she gives him when their cars are side-by-side and later, 'remember me?' before killing him (my favourite scene)). but it's never explicit - furiosa is. from the torture of her mother, to that scene right after the max cameo when he drops furiosa off at the citedel's underground where I literally had to cover my eyes and ask my friend to say when it was done..there's an overtone of darkness that gives to the tragedy of furiosa, this child molded from pain (not to mention, again, that scene of ricktus and her as a child which to me, was the most nerve-wracking moment). fury road gives you a glimpse, but furiosa doesn't hold back.

--chris hemsworth, meanwhile, made an excellent villain. not just as an actor, but dementus as a character was fantastic. he's got lots of great lines and brings in a lot of humor - he's both deranged and erratic, while also clever and simultaneously childish, and mostly, cruel. he's wonderfully dynamic. bringing in a backstory of losing his wife/child was a great added piece to his story (I love a good backstory), and the way he takes the loss of his kid and tried to mold it around furiosa, tries to fill that empty piece inside, was a great choice in terms of their dynamic. it made him more then just a mad-man who stole a child for yuks - he had a deeper desire to tote furiosa around, almost as a security blanket in the same way the teddy bear also acts as one. his final monologue was great - the ramblings of a hateful man, but it was, in the end, what got furiosa to see past vengeance, and become better - to choose hope, and not destruction.

--anya taylor-joy did a great job I thought - while I wish furiosa had more lines, she made up for it in just the facial expressions and how full they were, really giving us a glimpse of what furiosa was feeling. even still, it would've been nice to have known what was going on in her head, or even hear her talk about her past - the green place, and then dementus, are the pure driving force of her character, yet she doesn't ever mention or grapple with her grief around these things, simply stays silent (except for the final confrontation with dementus). I would've loved maybe, if she had confided in jack, or maybe even one of the wives, to give more depth to her feelings.

--I also wish furiosa could've bonded with someone else besides jack, or at least before him. it would've been nice for to have had at least one ally, or, I dunno, a friend? like that war boy who had dwarfism - she seemed almost sad, when realizing after the battle that he was dead. instead, she's alone, but a fellow misfit friend could've been nice.

--speaking of jack, loved him! thought he was great! it's unfortunate his part was so short, would've loved delve into his background (also, I'm as gay as they come, but he's like..an objectively Good Looking Man, so well done all around).

--I was really nervous, for how they were gunna do the romance. I was against it initially, bc the great thing about fury road, was that romance was not at all forced into the narrative - you can read that between max & furiosa if you want, but for one of the very, very few times when a woman and man team up, romance wasn't forcefully wedged in, and instead they could be respected allies. so I was skeptical - and then I totally fell for them. they were so sweet! the two actors had great chemistry - their bond was just so soft. the way, after they crash and are caught by dementus, furiosa, who can barely stand, gently leans herself into jack's shoulder, sweetly muttering to each other as he leans his forehead back against hers, like 😩😩 it was so lovely, and so tragic. you could really feel the respect and care they had for each other; it was so organic, bc jack genuinely wanted to help furiosa. he respected her and asked nothing of her - he was a purely good man, and through that, furiosa was able to open up to him and trust him. it's the great curse of the mad max universe though - no romance can escape it's claws, same with how nux and one of the wives were torn apart. in my heart of hearts though, there lives a little AU fic where dementus doesn't catch them, and they make their way back to the green place and live happily ever after with a kid perhaps, and maybe, furiosa and him go back to later rescue the wives (they say, like they're not thinking of already writing that very fic...).

--one more thing about furiosa I wanted to mention, if I can call back to earlier saying how she becomes a beacon of hope for the various men that enter her life (and the women too, when you think of the wives..) - that, despite all this horror handed to her, at the very end of the rope, she gives into her hero's heart. time over, we see, even as the destruction of the wasteland chips away at her, furiosa can never quite betray her heart. she runs back to her mother even after being pushed to leave, she goes back for jack despite having the perfect escape to finally make it back home, and in the end, takes all her hurt and anger wrapped up in dementus, and turns it and him into something that can bring good into the world. it's about choosing good, above all!! a hero's heart, even in the darkest of worlds!!!

--the trailer really emphases the green place, but we only see it for like...a couple minutes? I was looking forward to more lore about it, maybe seeing some of it's inhabitants like the mothers. but furiosa is taken immediately and then her mother starts her hunt after her, and that's it. kinda a bummer.

--there's a couple inconsistencies here and there - like, when furiosa is first brought to where the wives are kept, there's gotta be about 20 women in there, roughly. but then, as she becomes a young adult, we see at the very end her approach the 5 wives from fury road (I was expecting a call-back, so loved that) and it looks like there's only them there - what happened to the rest of the women??? did they all die in childbirth?? also, when furiosa runs away and hides herself as a warboy/mechanic, how did no one know she was gone?? it seems odd, since immortan joe specifically picked her out and probably has a mental line-up of all his 'treasures', you'd think he'd notice. or how, later on, the new 'imperior' with jack looks oddly similar to that young girl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

--also, I wanna know how furiosa got away with being the only female imperior - you'd think immortan joe might snag her away instead to be a wife bc she's young and viable, or that she'd be either dismissed or preyed upon by his sons/the other men. maybe because she was partnered with jack it was easier, but that was kinda confusing.

--final thing, bc this post is already too long - my last gripe is mainly about furiosa's dynamic with immortan joe. in furiosa, her revenge is purely motivated towards dementus, but then, switching to fury road, she now holds contempt and anger towards the warlord. part of what I wanted to see in the film, was her past with immortan joe; we didn't know initially how furiosa got to the citadel, but my interpretation, was always that possibly (because she was branded with the logo on her neck) she was brought on as a wife, inevitably abused by him, and then something happened where she was no longer useful as a wife (maybe an accident that cost her her arm) but was still useful as a tool. but, immortan joe isn't really looked at in the prequel; he's here and there, but doesn't show any particular cruelty or act towards furiosa that I was expecting. that vitriol she shows in fury road, and of course, 'remember me?', makes you think there was something there to fuel furiosa's revenge. instead, nothing really occurs between them - of course, furiosa is brought on to breed him children and then is expected to do his every bidding in getting supplies, so, I think we're supposte to assume that she has seen how cruel he is up close, and so acts against him. still, I was expecting something deeper there.

all in all, I loved it and had a great time. fury road will always be one of my favourites, but this is a great addition. fury road is great on all fronts; a fascinating world, great characters, amazing action, a well-made and clearly cared for story, but the thing I love most - is that it's about hope. it's about choosing, every day, despite the horrors around you, to get up and hope for something better. to do something better, even at your own cost. it's about hope and what we mean to each other when we extend it. and I just love that so much

go see furiosa! support it! it's a great time!

[archerandthefoxx]

So I was up from 12am to 5am reading ACFTL and I honestly can't believe that it's over now. Like my brain can genuinely not wrap my head around it. The book I have been waiting for months. The series I've been reading since it was only ouabh. I honestly can't believe it's done now.

So these are just my thoughts on acftl: (SPOILERS BTW)

So I want to start with things I didn't like because I like to end things on a more positive note:

● There was a lot of potential for other things that Stephanie has hinted to in the past (just basically a lot of unanswered questions) that I can't simply believe isn't anything bigger:

> "too familiar nickname" when Jacks called her Little Fox for the first time. This had the potential to be something really big, but the fact that Eva has no connection to the fox is just leaving me confused (as in being the first fox or a reincarnation). Like how. Especially when it was heavily hinted to in the past.

> "heavier than an apple should've been" when Jacks threw an apple at Eva in ouabh. I don't understand what this was supposed to mean if it just ended up being nothing. Like why did it have to be mentioned

> An Evajacks wedding was heavily hinted to in ouabh (even the reverse dust jacket for bn acftl). I just would have liked to see that.

● For me, some of the plot points just felt very disconnected and not linked, to the point where it felt like just random things being stringed together. Like it felt like things were just happening, as if I was reading different books at the same time.

● Acftl kinda feels like after tbona, Stephanie went online and saw everyone's theories and aimed to do the exact opposite. Sometimes I felt so confused because it felt like random facts and points were just thrown at me. Or this felt like this was the original version that Stephanie wrote.

●Why was time personified constantly?

●Where was my boy, Luc? I love him and I missed him so much. I was waiting for him to pop up on the page or make a creepy/funny appearance ("Hello, Eva" - I always laughed when he pulled stuff like this).

●Even though she's not relevant, where was Marisol? You can't tell me she just disappeared. I would have just liked to know what happened to her.

●Aurora's role felt so random.

●The whole thing about Jacks's curse felt to simple and barely touched on.

●I would have liked a better answer on Jacks’s obsession with apples. Like I understand it was left like that on purpose but it would have been nice.

*

●I would have liked the return of Scarlet and Tella. They were the ones who sent Evangeline to the Magnificent North. It would have been nice to see them after all of that and Jacks and Tella could have gotten some sort of closure.

●I love how everyone was hell-bent on the fact that apollo is lysander. The fact that everyone believed Apollo was Lysander started to make me doubt it. When Lysander appeared on the page, I was surprised tbh.

● Tbona established their clear feelings for each other and acftl was them just accepting it.

●Anyways I need domestic evajacks. Like 20 chapters. The bonus epilogues healed me.

My theories that were actually right: ●Tiberius slashing Apollo’s back

●Aurora having some type of magic and being the true villain. I was so sure that she was obsessed with Jacks and placed the Archer's curse.

~"My turn" if you know, you know. Something I never knew I needed. And I need more. There is never such thing as too much Evajacks.

Me having mixed feelings about acftl hurts so much because I've been waiting for this book for so long (I've been reading this series since it was only ouabh). I haven't been able to wrap my head around the fact that this is the official book. Ouabh and Tbona were soo amazing. They were so magical and fairytale like and I cried after I finished acftl, not just because the series was over (because I did) but because it didn't live up to the expectations I had and the high standards that ouabh and tbona set.

This series will always and forever be the series I go back to when I'm sad. Regardless of how it ended, I loved it because Stephanie created a new definition of magic and fairytale for me.

[musicfashionmonsters]

Love Should've Brought You Home

Random short based off of a JH story I'm free styling writing. It has nothing to do with the story itself, though some facts from the latter may present themselves.

Warning: Angst ahead

Synopsis: Jack is engaged to his former high school girlfriend Simone after they reconnected and began dating in their adult years. As the stress of their careers, wedding planning and their relationship weighs heavy on them, Jack begins a five month affair with a woman he met at a party. Growing tired of lying and sneaking around, he decides to tell Simone everything.

Main Cast: Jack Harlow and Jourdan Riane (as Simone)

Cameos: None

Mad Love Library Masterlist

Jack laid back in the comfortable California king bed staring up at the ceiling as Stacey laid asleep next to him. He looked over at her, though his mind was elsewhere. He thought about Simone, his fiancee of a year and a half and the only woman to have gotten him near the full point of marriage.

The two of them had known each other since they were 14 years old and dated from ages 15 to 17. They'd broken up months before graduation due to their differences in plans and Jack's acceptance of gaining attention from other girls. She wanted to pursue a degree while he wanted to chase his rap career. Though the two supported each other's dreams and remained faithful to each other, the relationship didn't last.

Others thought they would be the high school sweethearts that stayed together through college age and eventually get married and have kids. The two of them secretly thought that as well.

Simone Le'vine was the name she was given at birth and what the world knew her as, but he knew her as Monie. A Louisville native of both French and Haitian decent with the brains, beauty and spirit to match. Hypnotizing brown eyes, brown skin, beautiful naturally curly hair that he liked to run his fingers through when it wasn't in a protective style, long legs with thick thighs and an ass he loved to grasp in his palms. She'd earned her degree in both business and psychology while in college, though she became a model due to being discovered shortly before her graduation.

She had been on nearly every famous magazine cover known in and outside of the US and even walked a few runways. Though her height was only 5'7, designers were mesmerized by her with every step she'd take.

The two of them reconnected at the 2022 Met Gala with plenty of hostility from her end which he understood. A civil conversation between them eventually took place and they renewed their friendship, though Jack knew he wanted her back. Simone wanted him back as well, but didn't want to come off so eager. Which she wasn't.

They'd gotten back together and things had been great the past three years. Until Stacey came along.

He'd met Stacey at an awards after party nearly five months ago and the two had been sneaking around ever since. She met her around the time that he and Simone had been bickering and having petty arguments back and forth. It didn't help that Simone had a male friend that she was close with who was also in the industry she was in. The guy rarely hid his desire for her or the fact he wanted her to be with him instead of Jack.

It pissed him off more when he would comment on every photo she would post or the photos he would take with her, alluding to there being something more between them. Sometimes he wondered if there was.

He looked over at Stacey's sleeping figure once more, shaking his head to himself. She wasn't even half of what Simone was and he began to think with his head up top instead of down below.

He needed to come clean with his woman and stop whatever he had with Stacey.

He flipped back the covers and got out of the bed to put his clothes on. As he dressed himself, Stacey turned over, her eyes fluttering open as she looked at him.

"Leaving so soon?" She asked in her sleepy voice.

"Honestly, I should've left sooner." He admitted honestly and grabbed his New Balance sneakers, "Look, I might as well go ahead and tell you now. This is the last time we're gonna see each other."

Stacey immediately sat up, covering herself with the comforter.

"What? Why? Did I do something wrong?" She asked him, concern laced in her tone.

"It's not you that did something wrong, it's me. I should've never started this...thing with you. I have a woman waiting for me at home that I love and I'm here with you. This should never have happened." He shook his head, slipping on his sneakers.

"Wait, Jack. Just wait. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that what you and me had is done. I'm going home to my woman and I'm telling her everything that's been happening."

Stacey scoffed and chuckled humorlessly, "And you really think it's that easy? You think she's gonna just welcome you with open arms? From what you've been telling me, she never has welcomed you with open arms."

"You know nothing about her or the history we have." He defended, "That woman knows me better than anybody else and look at what I'm doing to her. It took a while for me to get her back and this is how I treat her. I'm going back where I belong and you and me are done."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, leaning back against the headboard.

"Fine, do whatever. When she kicks you out of the house and breaks up with you, don't come crawling back to me."

"Believe me...I won't. Made the mistake of crawling to you once, a second time is not needed to remind me."

He grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and walked out of the bedroom towards the front door. He left, got into his car and immediately started the engine before pulling out of the driveway.

When he arrived back to Simone's house in the last night hour, he used his key and carefully the front door, quietly closing it behind him. He tiptoed through the spacious entryway, making sure not to make too much noise.

Suddenly, the lights in the living room came on and he looked to see Simone sitting on the large sectional with her arms crossed. If looks could kill, he would be a dead man.

"Studio session must've ran late, huh?" She questioned him, the look of anger swirling in her eyes.

Jack rubbed the back of his neck and walked closer towards her, "Yeah, about that...um, I wasn't at the studio."

"No, really? I had no idea." She expressed in fake shock, tilting her head.

"Cut the sarcasm, Monie."

"You don't get to tell me that. I don't wanna hear shit from you except her name. Who is she?" She badgered him.

He sighed and looked down at his feet.

"Her name is Stacey." He confessed.

"And how long have you been seeing her?"

The guilt began to sit in more and he sighed a second time.

"Five months." He mumbled.

Simone chuckled humorlessly, pinching the bridge of her nose and bit her bottom lip as she attempted to suppress her rage before directing her attention back to him.

"Five months? Five MONTHS?!" She exclaimed, standing up from the couch. "We're supposed to get married in six months and you've been sleeping around on me with some random bitch?!"

"I know, I know! I'm sorry! You and I were arguing so much back and forth and neither one of us wanted to listen to each other. I met her at an after party and she just-"

"Distracted you from the problems we had when you should've been talking to the main one you have the problems with?" She finished his sentence, crossing her arms.

"Baby, princess...I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it, I really don't. I know I should've been thinking with my head up top and I should've talked to you first instead of letting her come between us. I don't want her. I even told her I'd come clean to you and I broke things off with her because I couldn't live with doing that to you."

"Clearly, you could live with it. You made it five months, what's a lifetime?"

She scoffed deeply and pushed past him, marching up the stairs to the bedroom. He was hot on her trails, following her upstairs and watched as she grabbed a suitcase from the walk-in closet.

"I know I fucked up, there's no excuse for it. I was wrong and I'll do whatever to make this right. Just please give me another chance." He begged her.

Simone remained quiet as she packed some clothes and other belongings into the suitcase.

"Come on, baby. Why are you packing a suitcase? Where are you going?" He asked, keeping his eyes onto her.

She chuckled humorlessly again and looked at him.

"I'm not going anywhere. See, I don't know if you forgot, but I paid for this house and I pay for the bills that go with it." She reminded him and pointed at the suitcase, "These are your things."

"Baby, please don't. I don't want her, I don't need her and I don't even love her! I love you!" He expressed desperately.

"You love me?! You love me, huh?! Is this how you treat somebody you love?! Sneaking around and fucking some other bitch behind my back?! Lying to me for months?! If that's your idea of "love", I don't fucking want it! Love should've brought your ass home to me instead of her for the past five months!" She raged, angrily zipping up the suitcase.

Tears filled both of their eyes as she took the suitcase off of the bed and placed it in front of him.

"That should be everything. Anything else, I'll have it sent to you."

"Princess, I don't want this. I don't want to be without you. I don't want anybody else, I want you. I want you forever. Let me know what I can do to make this right. I swear I'll do anything." He pleaded, cupping her cheeks into his palms.

"You know what you can do?" She caressed his cheek.

"I'll do anything. You name it."

All of a sudden, Simone reached back and slapped him as hard as she could. Jack stumbled back slightly and held his reddened cheek, looking at her sorrowfully.

"You can take the suitcase and get the fuck out of my house. I don't want to see you right now, if at all." She spoke calmly, her voice trembling in anger and betrayal.

"Princess..."

"Get out, Thomas. NOW." She demanded.

They always used each other's middle names whenever a situation at hand was not one to be taken lightly. It was also a way to show just how upset one or the other truly was by something that was done or said.

Knowing there was no changing her mind, Jack grabbed the suitcase and began walking out of the bedroom.

"Oh, I just remembered. You did forget something." She spoke up.

She reached for the seven carat engagement ring on her finger and threw it at him. It bounced off of his chest and he looked down at it, feeling more tears fill his eyes. He grabbed the ring off of the floor and looked at her as the tears fell down her face.

A burned memory that he'd never forget. He had no one to blame for it but himself. Usually, he'd be the one wiping her tears from someone else causing her harm. Now, the cause of her tears were on his hands.

Not another word was said as he held the suitcase in his hand and walked down the stairs and out of the door.

If she never wanted to see him again, he knew she would've been well within her rights. He did the one thing he promised he wouldn't do ever when they got back together.

He broke her heart and her trust.

[ssahotchnerr]

hello my love, more soft Aaron thoughts for you;

I think that with Haley he was like somewhat reserved with his PDA like even in front of the team who are all closer than family he was careful not to let his guard down so much SOOO I think when he’s recovered from that loss and he’s ready to finally move on again, he would not hesitate to hold your hand all the time and have you right by him, I actually think it would become like a compulsion to have skin to skin contact with you otherwise how can he be SURE you’re okay, so I think he would appear to be the clingy one but of course you know he’s just afraid of letting go

Bonus points bc I think reader would obviously know that them not being near/touching Aaron makes him nervous so they would give him something else to hold onto every time they have to leave the station/ leave work early or whatever it may be so they’re like hey babe can you just hold my tea while I go buy everyone coffee real quick? and he’s like sure seems strange but okay but then when he gets anxious with how long you’re gone he’s like okay okay the tea’s still warm, it’s not even cold yet. They’re alright. They’ll be back before it’s cold.

THIS

cw; mentions of haley's death, guilt, it's sad :( but there’s fluff!!!

something i wish there was more focus on, was aaron in terms of the aftermath of what happened to haley. we got bits and pieces in s5, little mentions throughout, route 66, but everything quickly went back to normal with him. while it made sense for his character in a way, it didn't make sense.

aaron having survivors guilt, a total possibility :( while it wasn't his fault she died, and it took him so so long to realize and accept that, he knows he was a contributing factor. how many sleepless nights did he have where he lying there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, completely tearing himself apart over it - that his high school sweetheart, the one he pictured himself being with forever, is no longer here. what if he had only figured it out/driven faster, could he have prevented the outcome? could he had said something differently on the phone to distract foyet, something that would've bought him more time to get there, could he have stopped foyet and saved her? that jack no longer has a mother present, that it should've been him, and he's just wondering over and over about what would've happened if he just took the deal.

and all while thinking that, he's mourning their relationship and all good times he had with haley. he loved her. it's clear he never stopped. and maybe he even thought after this nightmare was over, they would've reconnected, figured things out, and gotten back together.

he knows, firsthand, what it's like to lose someone. so when it comes to you, he will not make the same 'mistakes' he made with haley.

so, aaron will show everyone and anyone that he loves you. he makes an effort to. pda, while still practiced when appropriate, isn't a huge concern of his anymore. he'll give you that kiss in public, he'll grab your hand or be touching you in anyway he can, he'll gush about you to the team. he's learned the hard way; love is too fragile not to.

in addition, aaron has nightmares every so often. this is when he first really opened up to you about his fears; you were sleeping over and woke up to him jerking awake :( sweat dripping down his face, breathing heavily, frantically grabbing onto you. so you asked him if he wanted to talk about it :(( while he dreams about haley, you make your way into his dreams as well. he's lost haley, and now he can't afford to lose you. he can't. the worst is when he dreams about losing both of you :(

some days are worst than others. so if you aren't around, he has to ground himself to remind him that you're here. your favorite book is laying on the coffee table, with the bookmark poking out, you will be back to finish that book. your side of the bed is made, but later that night you will be pulling the duvet back, ready to sleep with him at your side. also if you and aaron were to have a disagreement, he'll allow you your space if you want it, but he will not let the matter go about without acknowledgement. after his disagreements with haley, with her or even him walking out, he won't allow for it anymore. he's protective and mindful when it comes to you. he didn't know how much time he had with haley, so with that in the back of his mind, aaron will stop at nothing to show you affection, to show you off to the world, and to protect you in every possible way he can manage.

[vanyzvat]

FAILED TIMELIFE

A short fanfic in which Jack gets erased from the universe, and within minutes, the story adjusts itself, and Henrik loses all memory of him ever existing.

Trying to work with the current canon events, so I thought of a concept, in which c!Jack gets erased from the timeline mid-story!

This is loosely inspired by Doki Doki Literature Club, specifically how Sayori was erased from the game, and then the script had to work itself around that gap.

Henrik carefully opened the door to the hospital room, where he found Jack still lying on the bed, unconscious. Every time, he hoped it would be different. That things could go back to normal...

...But, they never did.

“Top of zhe mornin', Jack...!”

“You know... Chase has grown tired of imitating you, your fans miss you, we miss you. Have you ever thought of zhat? Well, you should've thought about it before zu went up and died...!”

...Henrik sighed. Being mad at the circumstances wasn't going to change anything, but if things continued down this route, he might have to just... Give up, and let Jack go.

He really didn't want to consider that as an option just yet.

He administered some medicine through the IV drip before walking out of the room, heading right back to his office.

He was still studying Jack's records, trying desperately to understand what he was missing. His brain wasn't supposed to do that, his heart wasn't supposed to beat like that...

Suddenly... His computer turned off, and...

...

What? What was he doing again? He swore it was something important, so why couldn't he remember...

Oh! Right, he was studying [][][][]'s records...

...Whose records? Wait...

What was going on? Why couldn't he remember his name? Henrik tried to think, but he just couldn't piece his memories together. This man... He couldn't remember anything about him. His name, his face- It was like his memories were suddenly tampered with.

Henrik scratched the back of his head in confusion as he sat up from his chair and stepped out of his office, heading back to the hospital room he had left moments prior. The patient was in this room- So if he just walked inside, he should be able to refresh his memory.

...What?

There was... No one there.

The hospital room was completely empty, with no sign of anyone ever being there to begin with. What just happened? Had Henrik lost his mind? But he swore there was someone...

Maybe he had just gotten too tired from work.

...

...Why was he in this room again?

[phregnancy]

''he definitely did because that’s what got more views and paid the bills'' totally agree but maybe he should have found a topic that didn't involve his friends personal business?? you know what i mean? chris and pj were being shipped as well online maybe he should've used that for views. PJ never touched on phan the way chris did and their relationship still remains till this day

i do know what you mean and he did! the vast majority of his content didn’t mention dnp at all and it was him exploring his humor and different bits and having an audience, but every now and then there’d be a phan mention (whether it be phan specifically, dan, or phil) and his primarily phannie audience was waiting for those crumbs. chris and pj did use their own ship for views, quite a lot lol people loved the idea of kickthestickz and phan being real fantastic foursome etc. i assume chris thought phan was a similar shippy joke between two friends. i don’t think chris mentioning phan vs pj not is the explanation for why these friendships work/didn’t work. pj is one of phil’s best friends, if not his actual best friend (excluding dan from this conversation) - their relationship has always been solid and dan’s friendship with pj has gotten stronger over the last decade, i’d be willing to bet that pj knew about dan and phil dating from the start, because he was there before dan came into the picture. chris is close friends with pj and was good friends with dan and phil, through pj. they did hang out occasionally separately and made content together, but pj was the commonality between them. a lot of their good friends made phan jokes (tomska, jack and dean, dodie) and they’re still friends with all of them, i think this has more to do with chris’ feelings towards them/the audience or a non-phan related issue that would’ve ended that friendship.

[queermania]

Hi what are your thoughts on Lebanon? (the episode not the town hehe)

the first time i watched it i loathed it. now that i've had time to sit with it, i've really come around. i think it has a couple flaws, one of them fatal, but i still like it.

it's first flaw is that it's too ambitious. there's not enough time for what it's trying to do. the town as a character is a really neat concept and one they could've gotten a whole episode out of (and they should've). and the concept of john coming back for a day is also a really neat concept, and again, something that needed at least an entire episode to breathe. smooshing those two together makes it all feel underdeveloped and rushed.

the second flaw, and the one that is fatal in my opinion, is the john and mary of it all. i know a lot of people are bothered by sam and dean forgiving john and having nice family moments with him but i'm not. those were moments that they earned, not because john deserved them, but because the boys did. sam didn't need to have another shouting match with john. he'd already come to understand why john did the things he did. he'd already forgiven him. hell, he'd already forgiven him to his face even if john didn't know that was happening (in 5x13). this just let sam have closure.

the same is true of dean. dean didn't need to yell at john and tell him all of the ways he fucked up. i mean, the fact that john ruined their lives is already pretty clear. dean is in his forties and is living in a bunker and still hunting. but dean got to look his dad in the eyes and say, "this is my life because i chose it and it may not look the way you think it should but it's mine. i don't need your approval." he got to choose the family he built for himself over his dad and that's so so special to me.

none of that was about forgiving john, or even forgetting everything he did. it was about closure.

the only one who let john off the hook was mary. john gave her children the exact life she didn't want them to have and he did it in her memory. he turned her into nothing more than an effigy to mourn. she's been told, to her face, that what john did to her children was child abuse..... and she has no thoughts about it? i didn't need to see sam and dean yell at john and spew every hateful thing they ever felt because i already knew how they were feeling. i'd watched over fourteen seasons of it. but mary's surely complicated feelings about john are never addressed at any point in the show and that's fine up until the moment they bring john back to stand in front of her, face-to-face. i know there wasn't enough time in the episode to get into it but that's a problem. you cannot load the chekhov's gun of john and mary being forced together for breeding purposes + have mary learn of every horrible thing john ever did to the children she didn't want to be hunters, all in her name, and then not pull the trigger. you just can't. and it never gets addressed before or after this episode either. it's just a glaring neon sign. and it makes the whole thing feel like john apologia.

all that being said, i do love the idea of the town as a character and what it reveals about sam and dean. i loved seeing sam and dean have those moments of closure with their father. i loved seeing a glimpse into an alternate timeline. i loved the utilization of cas and zachariah. i loved that in the end dean chose cas and jack over his father. there was a lot of good in the episode.

[angelsdean]

about the ensemble cast missed opportunities.

cas and dean babysitting baby cas and baby sam while sam, garth and bess hunt down some monster of the week with a very sniffable smell.

jack and claire sibling team up to save dean and sam, who turned into adorable frogs after being cursed by a fairy tale related object. meanwhile cas is on a girls night out trip with eileen and rowena, but they are disturbed by one of rowena's ex girlfriends.

crowley centered episode where he is bored running hell and takes a vacation everytime he wants to sip on his cocktail and relax, someone else calls him for help/info etc

yesssssss i want all of that !!!

deancas babysitting adventures would be sooo funny. i'm torn between cas wanting to actually put all the baby knowledge he gained from those parenting books to good use OR him just angel-magicking away any issue. like baby is fussy bc they have gas? angel magics them all better. teething pain? not anymore! hungry? sims-cheat-style fills their hunger bar. gross diaper situation? grace-zaps it clean again. meanwhile dean's got the other twin and he's running around warming up a bottle with one hand and bouncing and singing to the baby in the other arm. he's got sweat and baby spit-up all over his shirt. cut to cas sitting on the sofa peacefully reading to his twin. i think cas has baby sam while baby cas is making dean's life a living hell jdkfdkg

frog shenanigans: jack keeps frog!dean and frog!sam in his jacket pockets. dean keeps grumpily ribbeting for attention. sam is trying to communicate in morse code because he thinks he knows how to turn them back but jack is just like "you guys are sooo cute" and puts them back in his pocket. both claire and jack are also Very Determined to solve this together on their own and insist they Cannot Under Any Circumstances disrupt cas, rowena, and eileen's girls night out trip even tho rowena def could undo the curse in a second.

crowley, poor crowley. let the man drink his little fruity drinks in peace! he's about to close the gates to hell himself if one (1) more person calls him! he should've never gotten the demons on a cellphone plan

[hothothotch]

Gabrielle Aplin just released her new album and I see insecure Aaron all over the lyrics of ‘good enough’, but this part gets me in a way that aaaaaaaa

“‘Cause you’re more than just someone, after all I’ve said and done and all you do, I just wanna be good enough for you”

So here’s a few something about Aaron x Reader that can fit this lyric (since it looks like I’m not able to write long fica anymore).

• I think it would all begin with a blind date — of course planned and organized between Garcia and Rossi, since you are Garcia’s friend, and Rossi has the mission of convincing Aaron that a blind date is a good idea;

• Aaron’s most definitely not convinced, but he goes anyway, just because he knows Rossi’s gonna make his life hell if he doesn’t. You, on the other hand, just likes the idea of meeting someone new and has nothing against blind dates (actually, your best friends came out of really nonsensical blind dates;

I wanna be easy and open like you, the way that you navigate is effortless, the way that you talk and the way that you move

• When you meet, Aaron's still stoic about it all and barely talks, but you're pretty much an open book and, truth be told, he's just mesmerised about the way you talk so openly about anything and everything. If anything, he wanted to be as open as you are;

• You, on the other hand, don't care if he's not as open as you are — you like being heard (not in a self-centered way, you just like to talk), and you enjoy the little smiles he throws on your way whenever you say something that people would jugde weird, so you keep bringing them up only because you wanna see his smile;

When I hit a wall I can't get around, you always see it in a way I can't see, you tell me it's there for me to lean on

• And when the team's on a case that seems to be drawing them anywhere? He calls you from the hotel and just lays it all on you (yes, even if it's confidential information) because he loves the way you have an unique view about it all — and even not being an Agent, you always give him an insight, even by accident, of what is lacking, what they're not looking at...

• And even when the case is not hard, Aaron calls you anyway because he likes to hear your voice, to know you're there, to know you're ok. To hear your sweet and calming voice that pushes him back to the world outside his office;

And bail on your plans just to rest there with me, I love how you rise above the water right when I'm in danger of swimming out a little too deep, you're all I see

• November 29. This is definitely the worst day of Aaron's life. Every year in this exact day, he gets a day off from work to spend the day with Jack, honoring Haley's memory. But when Jack goes to bed, it's just Aaron and his thoughts — how we could've gotten Foyet before, how he should've been able to read his plans (he had been the one to make his profile, after all), the infinite 'what if's' the ran his mind...

• And then you knock on the door. You had no idea what that day meant to him, just... something drew you to his house that specific day, and you decided to go (even if you had a real date that day, and he knew about that);

• Then Aaron sees you, his face is covered in surprise, but you see when the surprise slowly opens space for sadness, the tears forming slowly on his face and you only have time to gasp when he circles your body with his strong arms, the tears staining your shirt...

• And you just let him. You hug his body and kisses the side of his head as one hand plays with the hair on the nape of his neck in a soothing manner, small reassurence words falling from your lips all the time;

• That night you sleep together (just sleep!) cuddling in his bed. You're facing each other in bed, your hands still playing with his hair as you keep your eyes open to make sure he's okay. You can only sleep when his breathing gets calmer...

• That is the moment you notice you're in love with him.

'Cause you're more than just someone, after all I've said and done and all you do... I just wanna be good enough for you

• And of course Aaron knows he's in love with you, though that exact moment was what made him confess it to himself. The question is: he's not going to confess it to you, simply because he doesn't think he's good enough for you;

• But you know he is. You know he's more than good enough, you know he's everything you've been asking for and so much more... and yes, you know about Foyet and Haley, but how could you blame him? How could he blame himself if there was just nothing he could do?

On Saturday night, when you came around, you danced on the table to your favourite tune. And just as I thought you were coming down, you pulled me up and I was moving with you

• Aaron finally takes you to meet the team and you’re… something. At the moment you arrive, you’re already so warm and lovely with the team — you talk facts with Reid, have drinks with the girls and play darts with JJ, you jokingly flirt with Derek (which almost push Aaron to the edge, until you give him a sided hug and kiss his jaw, calming him down immediately);

• And of course there’s a karaoke and you have to sing in it. So you pick your favorite song, and you’re immediately in your element — singing your heart out, dancing on top of tables, interacting with the crowd. You’re just having fun, but for Aaron you’re a star;

• Your song is just finishing when you pull Aaron to sing with you — which he doesn’t do, but he tries to follow your steps as best as he can, swaying at the beat, having fun in a way he didn’t have in ages;

• Aaron knows he’s not good enough for you, and that he probably won’t ever be, but that night he let those three words escape his lips, loving eyes on yours before he kisses your lips, his thumb rubbing your cheek ever so gently…

• And you know he’s so much more than good enough, so when those same words leave your mouth it’s intentional, brutally honest. And Aaron don’t doubt it for a minute;

You take me to places that I’m too scared to go to, miles away in the same old room, how’d do what you do?

• Aaron was literally frightened of falling in love again — after Haley, he didn’t think he deserved being loved. That night, you proved him wrong. You became his search of courage, love and belonging.

• You became his home.

Tell me how I can be good enough

• And of course, there’s still a long way for the two of you. But you’re willing to spend the rest of your life showering him in love, and showing him that’s he’s more than enough for you.

[omarwolaeth]

Hearing some thoughts on Rin's lines about Clear Wing.

I don't disagree that it feels off-putting or wrong (whichever you prefer to describe it as), but I imagine her reasoning doesn't necessarily boil down to seeing herself as above Yuugo (though it's very possible it partially is; they both lived in a dog eat dog world - the City - and they're commons to boot - so they're fighting one another to duel Jack up until she's kidnapped, even if Yuugo says they were going to do it together), as much as it boils down to her being the responsible one.

Yuugo really isn't, so it might possibly be that, given how dependable of a monster Clear Wing (and Crystal Wing) are, Rin thinks her burn deck is a better fit for such a monster than Yuugo's luck based deck. The answer to this is obviously no as soon as anything to do with Zarc or Ray comes into the picture (Clear Wing and Yuugo are both cut from the same quarter of the Supreme King Dragon, even if it was by En Winds.)

Or, Rin is probably jealous she doesn't have effect negation in her monsters, and is bullying Yuugo about it because she's seemingly never really dealt with her frustrations in any other way (because Yuugo's always there.) Or maybe because Clear Wing is a unique card and Rin wants a copy too.

Alternatively, this is somehow the same thing as Yuuri's sadistic streak; a hold over from their Original self, and Ray decided Clear Wing should've been one of her monsters. As if Zarc would lose one of his dragons without a fight, though.

(Additional note I think is important but couldn't figure out where to put it in; Rin's defeat line in the overworld implies to me that Yuugo expects her to win her matches, like it shouldn't be hard for her. Yuugo's never gotten angry at her even if she's gotten angry at him multiple times and she's probably afraid of what he'd think - either this hasn't happened and she's worried all his frustrations with her would ungracefully tumble out, only putting up with her because she wins and can get food on their table even if we know that wouldn't happen - he loves her so much he'll ramble about her to anyone given half a chance, or it has happened before and Rin doesn't want to experience that sort of thing again, as though it would embarrass her.) (So her self esteem is either rock bottom when it comes to losing. or she's got too much pride to admit any of her losses to the one person who adores her)

[magerightsyeah]

To the End of the Line

Rating: T

Fandom: Cyberpunk 2077

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand x Fem!V (platonic or romantic)

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, discussions of grief, hurt/comfort

Summary: V finally gets to mourn Jackie properly instead of hiding from her feelings

Her mouth was too dry for the pill she forced down her gullet, but she didn't care. V downed a gulp of rum from her flask to wash it down. Vik had probably said something about not doing that, but she needed something to dull the pain.

She hopped off her motorcycle, looking up at the Columbarium. Her hands were shaking and she almost regretted doing this alone. Maybe she should've asked Misty to come, or maybe Panam. A part of her even regretted taking the Omega Blocker, Johnny's ribbing always had a way of distracting her from whatever was bothering her.

But she couldn't let him see this, she needed something to herself, something that was all her own. Something he couldn't fuck up.

It wasn't the first time she'd gone to visit Jackie, but it was the first time in longer than she'd like to admit. It was the first time since right after his ofredna.

His niche was fairly out of the way, Mama Welles having scraped together all she could to get the nicest one she could provide. V had offered to pay, of course she had. But Mama Welles had refused, of course she had. The whole family was always far too proud for their own good.

"Hey Jacks." She said quietly, hands folded in front of her.

She raised her right hand and ran it across his name, glowing a soft blue against the grey concrete. She then moved to her throat, gently thumbing the bullet necklace Misty had gifted her. Once again she found herself missing Johnny's ever-present snark.

“So, I did it, kinda." She laughed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I mean, I'm dyin' so that's not great, but every fixer in town thinks I'm the biggest thing since Morgan Blackhand, so that's cool."

She paused, but she wasn't sure what she expected. An answer, maybe? Maybe she'd gotten too used to the dead talking back, meeting two in the last couple weeks. Three if she counted herself.

"Um, you got your drink, choom. I get it every time I go to the Afterlife, which is pretty often..." She sniffed. "Misty misses you, talks about you all the time. Mama too, I try to be there for them but… you know I was never good with the emotional stuff. They've been helping each other, I think…. it's nice, I think" She shook her head. "Of course it's nice, what I meant was just-"

V leaned her head against the concrete. "Fuck, Jackie. I miss you, I miss you real bad." She shuddered, unable to stop the tears that now fell at full force. "It's hard, Jacks, goin' on without you. Sometimes I'll be on a job and I'll turn to look, expectin' to see your stupid grin at just blowin' some gonk away but…… And then I just get this sinking pit in my chest that I just can't get rid of."

She shuddered

"I fucking hate being alive without you, Jackie." She pulled back, gently running a finger over his name. "Sometimes I can't wait for this stupid chip to kill me. I don't know if I agree with Mama and Padre about what comes after, or even Misty. But, fuck, at least it'll stop hurting so fucking much."

"Shit, V."

She jumped, instinctively drawing her gun and pointing it in the direction of the voice.

Johnny didn't flinch, why would he?

She didn't bother to wipe her eyes, allowing her tears to trickle down her reddened cheeks. "What the fuck are you doing here? I took the blockers."

He shrugged. "They wore off a couple minutes ago, thinkin' they probably aren't as effective anymore.”

She cursed, holstering her gun and turning away from him. "So you couldn't give me a little bit of fucking privacy then? Not a single moment alone to mourn my fucking choom? Haven't you ever lost someone before?"

"Yeah, that's why I know you shouldn't be alone right now."

There was a sincerity in his voice that she hadn't heard before, at least not in her own memories. There was something in his though, but she couldn't quite reach it.

“C'mon, I need to show you somethin’”

V furrowed her brow, but followed as the engram led her through the Columbarium to the very back.

“Alt’s niche?”

He shook his head, and pointed to the one up and to the right of it.

Robert John Linder 1988 - 2003

She racked her brain, trying to find someone by that name in his past. But she came up empty.

“Who was he?”

“That's my name- or, it was. After I deserted I changed it, I left that man behind. I saw friends die, I saw brothers die. Better men than me, men who deserved to live way more than I ever did. And they died for nothing, for a stupid fucking corpo dick measuring contest.”

"Johnny-“

“So yeah, V, I lost people. Even before Alt and fuck I think those hurt more. I know how it feels, that survivor's guilt that fuckin' eats you alive: But I couldn't die, I knew I was meant for bigger things. I knew I was gonna fuckin' do something with my life. And so are you, V”

She couldn't meet his eyes.

“You ain't gonna die, V. We're gonna find a way to fix this"

She lifted her head, smiling slightly. "We huh?'

It was hard to tell behind his dark sunglasses, but V was pretty sure he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, V. We. I'm with ya, to the end of the line.”

“To the end of the line.” She agreed.

[purposefully-lost]

She couldn't move. There was a heavy, leaden weight in her limbs, leaving them pinned to the ground and unyielding no matter how hard she tried. It was to the point that she wasn't even sure how she'd ever managed to move at all, since thinking into existence did nothing. She was thinly aware of a vague, throbbing pain somewhere in the back of her neck, but it seemed to come and go at random. Sometimes it was so excruciating she wanted to scream, and sometimes it felt like she'd simply laid down to take a break in the middle of her hike. She wasn't sure how long she'd been here. The sky had gotten darker.

She'd never been so tired of the inside of her own head. She didn't know where her bag was or what had happened to it-- she just remembered wandering off the trail, and suddenly she'd woken up here- but she had a book inside that she would've killed to have in her hands just then. The Return of the King. Jack had let her borrow it. She was so close to the end...

Jack. He liked to come out here, she knew. They'd never come together, at least not yet, but she wanted so badly to go camping with him. They'd talked about it. He had this place he wanted to show her, this meadow. It sounded so pretty.

She couldn't really see the stars above her. Not only was there a canopy of leaves blocking her view, but her vision had gone sort of halfway blurry and halfway dark. She didn't think her eyes were working quite right anymore. But that was okay. All she needed to be able to see was light. Then she'd know, if a shadow passed over her, that someone had found her. He'd kneel down next to her and talk to her in a soft voice. Stroke her cheek and pull her close to his chest and tell her that it was okay, if she was scared, but she'd be alright. He was going to carry her home. When she was stuck in the hospital getting back her fluids and being henned over by her mother, he'd sit at her bedside and read her the last few chapters of the book he'd given her. He'd hold her hand.

Chris let her eyes fall shut and tried again to move her hands, but it didn't work. She should've kissed him when she'd had the chance.

She could hear crickets, and the distant call of an owl. The swish and sway of leaves in the wind. Very quiet, she could hear the running of the creek. And the cracking of a branch as something walked towards her.

Her eyes flew open again. Involuntarily, unable to really feel it, her breaths quickened to something almost panicked. She strained at the corners of her version, turning her head what miniscule way she could and enduring the pain that followed to try and see. It'd be him. He was going to kiss her, her first kiss, and everything would turn out alright. She'd tell her mom that she thought Rabbit's home wasn't a very good place and he'd be allowed to stay over whenever he needed to. They could sit in the living room and listen to records and re-do what they hadn't done on the night of the formal. She waited, so certain it'd be him, but it was the large, cloven hooves of an abnormally sized buck that stepped close to her.

Maybe it was just the way she was staring up at it, but he was huge. Large, elegant antlers that should've weighed him down, really, but he didn't seem hindered. The deer lowered his head until he was staring right at her, his hot breath on her face, then lifted again. It let out a long bleat, seemingly just at the night, then started to lay down next to her. His large, heavy head rested on her chest.

He was gorgeous. He wasn't what she wanted. Chris realized she could see even less than she could moments ago and a cold panic took hold of her heart. She closed her eyes to block it out, putting all of her effort instead into trying to make a sound. Nothing but air-- nothing but gasps that made her lightheaded and dizzy. She tried to look up again and couldn't- or maybe she'd finally lost her sight and just couldn't tell the difference between open and closed. Some sound finally escaped her throat, the last she knew she'd ever make, and it sounded almost like Jack.

[romanarose]

Seattle: Part 4

Marc Spector X Fem!Jewish!OC

Seattle Masterlist

Part 3 : Part 5

Summary: Marc takes Rebecca to meet his friends, who will help with the divorce. Marc thinks back on the ways she saved him, and your younger brother

A/N: This is literally terrible. I needed a chapter between the last one and what comes next and I really thought I could do better but it's like pulling teeth. The flashbacks have no theme, there's no overarching elements, no story. The writing is dry and lack of description. I hate this. But I hope you at least enjoyed our guest stars.

WARNINGS: Usuals for this fic, domestic violence, child abuse. We're talking more about Jack so gonna throw in manipulation and isolation. Also, talk of miscarriage and rape. Just a warning for how the law does not always consider condom tampering rape, but it fucking is. I will block anyone who wants to argue. Same if someone says they are on birth control but aren't, or says they recently had an STD test but haven't anything happening outside of the agreed upon terms is rape. Anyway, lmk if I missed anything.

Note: Kaddish is the part in shabbat services where anyone who is mourning, stands. Purim is a Jewish holiday celebrating the story of Esther, where people traditionally wear costumes.

Italics are marc, bold is steven.

*********

“Thanks dad, I’ll talk to her when she’s up.” Marc had stepped into the hall while Rebecca slept, calling his dad to ask how to help her with the miscarriage, per her request. Elias, as always, was kind and sympathetic as Marc filled him in on the basic details of how she came to move in with him. Elias mentioned no one really hears from her dad much, he’s not at temple save for a few High Holy days, when he pretends like he’s getting his life together, or when Rebecca’s brother, Asa, is in town and Asa drags him to services.

‘Tell her I say hi, and that I’m praying for her’

“I will”

Marc hung up after saying goodbye, taking a breather. Talking to his dad was getting easier, but it could still bring out difficult memories, especially with their conversation today focusing on judaism. Elias didn’t ask him if he was going to Purim, he didn’t pry, just gave the information Rebecca needed, and expressed his  relief she was safe. He had said something about Marc being a good man for taking her in, but Marc didn’t feel like he was a good person for this. This wasn’t an act of service, he didn’t even feel like this was duty, as much as he felt indebted to her. He didn’t have to think about it, any of it. This was simply how they were. Always.

. Rebecca had made her way in life, as Marc knew she could, getting her masters despite teetering on the edge of homelessness some days. Despite couch surfing, rent in dangerous neighborhoods and working full time in grad school, she had gotten her masters in social work as spent hour after hour trying to make sure no kids were in the position she and Marc had been in, and that parents got the help they needed to support their families. She worked hard, and would sometimes call Marc out of the blue to cry, ask his advice, or simply ask him to distract her. She was well suited for it too. Rebecca never took hell from anyone, and could not be intimidated, no matter what parents tried. She wasn’t afraid of anyone, no matter what she saw in that field. And Jesus, she saw a lot.

When she called him one day, initially acting like it was a regular call she’d make on any given day to check in or chat, she casually mentioned she met someone and Marc suspected that was the real reason she called. Marc should’ve said something there, should've jumped in while the relationship was new, before Jack had her wrapped around his finger, before he could hurt her. But he didn’t. He’d meet Layla a few months later, and despite everything, Marc could never find it in himself to regret that part. Layla had been such an important part of his life, especially during the years where he might not hear from Rebecca for months, Layla was there. But still, he couldn’t help wonder what might have been if Marc had simply told Rebecca how he felt. But he was a coward. And he remained a coward as she told him about the guy.

“His name is Jack, and he’s so sweet! We met because I forgot my card at home and I didn’t realize until I went to pay at the coffee shop, and he paid for mine!” I’ve seen him almost every night this week.”

“What does he do for work?” Marc asked, ever practical.

“He’s in finance, makes a lot of money, one of those rich kids, you know? I’m actually meeting his parents this Saturday, isn’t that exciting? We haven't been dating long and he already wants us to meet! I gotta get a new dress, something to impress his rich ass parents.” That had been the start. She didn’t just buy a nice dress. You bought a name brand. The first thing she had done to change herself for him. The dress wasn’t even her style

“Yeah Beccs, he sounds great. Text me how meeting his parents goes, I hope they are nice” Marc tried so, so hard to sound excited for her. It wasn’t that he wanted it to go poorly, and he certainly never wanted what Jack ended up being. He genuinely wanted her to be happy, with or without him… But he couldn’t help the tinge of jealousy, wishing so badly it was him.

Wearing his Nirvana shirt and a pair of jeans Marc brought from her apartment, she looked significantly more like herself as she got ready to go meet the lawyer Marc had gotten for her. 

“Marc, honey, do you have any sunscreen?”

Marc laughed “No, no I don’t have any sunscreen. I haven't worn it since you’d force it on me at the beach.”

She nudged him “Just because you have darker skin doesn’t mean you don’t need sunscreen, Marc” Rebecca said with a smile.

Marc couldn’t shake a bad feeling in his gut, something telling him to keep going. He always trusted his gut, he wasn’t stopping now. “I used to be a lot less dark than you…” He commented on her paler complexion, the beautiful skin he knew from before having given way to a lighter color.

Noticeably, her demeanor changes. “Seattle isn’t exactly known for its sun, sweetheart.” Rebecca tries to hide her discomfort with the conversation’s direction with a nickname. It almost worked, Marc’s brain always got a little fuzzy when she called him sweetheart, because who else but her thought he was sweet?

But Marc wasn’t backing down. “It’s cloudy out right now, why would you need sunscreen?”

She shrugged, all too casually. “Just a habit I got into, protect my skin”

Marc couldn’t help the sardonic laugh that escaped him. “Protect it from what? You get sunshine there once a year at best.”

Her face set in determination, and Marc couldn’t help but be proud of her. She still had fight in her, she wasn’t completely gone. Dark eyes challenging, she countered him. “You still need sunscreen with overcast, Marc,”

Then it clicked. Her hair was lightened and straight, her skin washed out, traces of her ethnicity stripped away. “Oh my god. He wanted you to look less Jewish”

A deep flush took hold of her face and she dodged his eyes, grabbing her purse and storming towards the door. “Let’s go.”

Marc wasn’t resenting as he hurried after her. “Jesus Beccs, what the fuck did he do to you? You loved being Jewish, you were always so fucking proud.”

“Drop it, Spector” Rebecca opened the door and power walked out of the apartment.

 He didn’t even stop to lock his apartment, but he was pretty sure he made his neighbors nervous enough that no one would try anything. He continued after her, not sure how far she thought she’d go when she didn’t know where she was going. “What’s next, Becca?” She was taller than him, not by much but longer legs, so he had to give a little extra effort to keep up. “Gonna wear blue contacts? Gonna be his perfect white, anglican, protestant housewife?”

She spun around so fast, Marc ran into her, and she pushed him into the wall. “Stop!” She shouted, eyes wide with anger. “Don’t you think I’m embarrassed enough!” Watching Marc’s face wince just a bit at her shouting, she took her hands off him and stepped back, but her mouth just kept moving. “I’m humiliated Marc! I was so fucking sick and tired of needing you to rescue me when we were young, constantly, constantly needing you and I was so, so proud of where my life was! I was secure, I had a good life in Chicago and I made it, because of you, but I continued without you because you left! You left me, and it’s fine, and you needed to and I get it but you left, and I figured things out on my own” 

Marc watched as she broke, eyes falling down as she continued venting out her frustration of the last few… years? Decades?

“And things were good, and I was good, and I was happy and I FUCKING RUINED IT, because I let myself get swept up, I let myself get taken over, and controlled, and changed and I watched it happen, I watched it happen, Marc, and I knew damn well what was happening and I didn’t stop it! And now you have to rescue me again, and I’m once again dependent on you and that’s exactly what got me her in the first place!” She finished, shouting loud enough he was sure people could hear, but all he could focus on was her confession.

“What do you-”

“I LOVED YOU, MARC!” Rebecca let out a growl in frustration, angry at herself for letting it slip, but unable to stop the word vomit from spilling. “I loved you, and no one else has ever been you, no one else ever could be you. I didn’t deserve you so I just settled. And in some ways, early on, he reminded me of you” The tears streamed down her pretty face as she spoke, calmer now but still high emotion. “He insisted on buying everything, he took care of me, took care of things, just like you did but it was. It was different. You did it because we were friends. He did it because he wanted to control me, but it worked. It worked and just as I broke out of needing you, I went right back into needing him, until I was so emotionally and financially dependent, he was all I had left.” A sob choked out at the last few words.

“You had me…” He whispered, but she shook her head.

“No, because he took that too. He got me so twisted, he would get in my head. He would make me feel like, like you were the one trying to control me, like you were just playing with me, and Marc I’m sorry, I’m sorry I believed him” Rebecca covered her face as she sobbed, anger and shame radiating off of her shaking form.

Marc hesitated, unsure the correct course of action as he watched her cry. Did she want to be held? Was touch too much? Was she still angry at him? She loved him. At least before Jack, she loved him. And she thought she didn’t deserve him? He had always known, in some sense, that what they had was more than friendship, he had always considered their bond something beyond definition, something fiery and strong, something he could always call too. 

Even that night, that horrible fucking night in Eygpt as he laid at Khonsu’s feet with a gun to his chin he had called to it, reaching out into the universe to feel her, begging for something. He felt her, and his finger hesitated at the trigger, a hesitation that lasted long enough for Khonshu to call on him, long enough for his life to be spared, long enough to bring him back and bring him to her.

Marc Spector didn’t have anywhere else to go. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He could always go back to his parents, that was always an option. Not one he would take. The last time he was there was when Rebecca had heat exhaustion and he needed to take her somewhere she could stay cool. He’d do it again. He’d even have lunch with his mom if it was for Rebecca’s safety. But Rebecca would never ask that of him, and things were different now. She had been doing better. She was engaged in an insane whirlwind romance that had left Marc suspicious. Rebecca was always practical. But maybe she was just in love. Marc missed his chance, two decades worth of chances, and maybe she was finally happy with someone who was man enough to tell her how he felt. 

Only a week ago, he nearly swallowed a bullet. Now he was grappling with what it meant to be the slave to an Eygytion god. Rebecca would have something to say about that, probably lecture him on how he must not have paid any attention during passover, and what would their ancestors think? Well, that wasn’t exactly on his mind as he lay dying, but here he was. Just as he had crawled up the steps of Khonshu’s statue to die, he was practically crawling to her door. Unannounced, no warning, he knocked, hoping to the not-Khonshu God that she was home, having not moved in with her fiance yet, not until the wedding.

Relief flowed through him when he saw her face, ever warm and welcoming. Ever beautiful as the last time he saw her, nearly a year ago, the only difference was her hair was longer. Longer than any time he had ever seen it, save for her childhood when her dad made her grow out her hair. It was often a matted mess, thick and curly, her mother had died without having taught her proper hair care for the curl type, and god knows her dad was no help. He also refused to take her to cut it, insisting girls should have long hair. That was until one day when Rebecca was 12, she chopped it off. Badly. Like, it was a disaster. Carl then told her he wouldn’t pay to get it professionally cut, claiming this was her lesson. Rebecca had come to Marc’s house crying, chunks of hair shorter than others. Marc had, of course, insisted it looked great. That was a blatant lie, but even at 11 he knew better than to tell a girl her hair looked bad. 

Elias had come home to find the girl his son had formed a codependent friendship with sobbing on his couch and took mercy on the poor child, taking her in for a haircut to fix it, and a few more as it grew out over the next year, until Rebecca had started making her own money babysitting. That night, Marc overheard his dad on the phone. Carl had called to yell at Elias, but his dad wasn’t deterred, telling him that he had seen the matted mess his daughters hair had been, threatening to turn him in to CPS if he didn’t drop it. Elias didn’t know Carl was beating her, the way Wendy beat Marc, and had likely hurt her when he saw the haircuts, but this at least shut Carl up. Marc briefly wondered why his dad could stand up for Rebecca, but not him… but he supposed it was different when it’s your wife.

Marc hurt at the idea that Jake had twisted her so fucking far that she doubted their friendship, their love. She had to know he loved her, even if she didn’t think it was romantic, she had to have known he would do anything for her… How had Jack taken that way? All they ever had was each other, and somehow he took that. He had to have known, had to have known that Marc was the only thing standing in the way of total control, so he took out that target. “Can I hold you, Beccs?”

She nodded. “Careful. Ribs still hurt.” She was still covering her face in shame. Rebecca hated crying.

“Of course, Metukah.” Marc hugged her softly, relying more on his arms holding her than being chest to chest. He took a moment to just feel her, to just hold her, exist together as they should have been all this time. “You think I rescued you? All this time, you think I was taking pity on you? Becca, honey, I was trying to repay you”

Finally, she looked up at him. “Hm?”

Marc held the side of her face that wasn’t burnt. “You saved me, our entire childhood, you were my everything, the only one I had after Randall died” It hurt to say his name out loud, even still. “I have spent years trying to repay you, and I will spend the rest of my life, and it will still never be enough. I am forever indebted to you.  You think you don’t deserve me?” He blinked at her, unbelieving she could think such a thing. “You have always been the center of my gravity, my life force, my strength. This isn’t charity, it’s love.”

Her brown eyes watered again as she looked at him. “Love?”

Marc Spector smiled at her. “Yeah. I love you. I’ve always loved you, I just… could never find a way to say it”

Finally, Rebecca smiled at him. “I love you too, Marc” Her lips were chapped and dry from the stress and the near-boiling water that hit her face, but when she kissed him, he felt like there could be nothing better in the entire world. He felt like a teenager again, like they were picking up where they left off.

She pulled away slowly, before it could deepen, and she took his hand, two fingers still wrapped up from where they had been broken in the door. “This is all… everything is very fresh… I love you, and I’m not saying you have to wait for me-”

“Of course, baby, take all the time you need, I’ll be here waiting” He kissed her forehead. “Always right here waiting”

When she answered the door to find him, she smiled at first, but it quickly faded to worry. Marc’s wounds had healed, Khonshu trading Marc’s life for servitude, but it was clear how lost he was, that something was broken in him. Well. Something new, anyway. 

“Beccs, I’m sorry I didn’t call I just-” Marc was interrupted by a forceful hug, then was ushered inside.

“Shower first, it’s cold out, I’ll get you some clothes, okay? Warm up.” She touched his face, smiling gently as she coaxed him into the bathroom with a t-shirt and men’s pajamas. “Take your time sweetheart, then we’ll talk”

Marc nodded, still in a daze. How much he wanted to talk, he wasn’t sure. She wouldn’t push him, she never did, but there was no keeping secrets from Becca, he’d always tell her eventually, so he might as well now. Going through the motions, Marc showered himself, eventually padding his wet feet back out to the living room. Senses still hazy, having barely been able to do more than nod along since he came to the apartment. The whole week felt like a bad acid trip. And yes… he couldn’t help feel a little bit better when he saw you in the kitchen. He knew automatically you were making him tea.

You turn to see him, greeting him with a warm smile and nodding to the couch. “Sit down, I’ll be right there.” Marc nodded and did as he was told, body moving on its own as he continued to live in this haze of a day dream. 

He suddenly found himself holding a hot mug of tea as the couch sank and she sat next to him, looking as beautiful as ever. “Drink some first, I’m not going anywhere.”

There was no hurry, no urgency to be somewhere. Like how they always were, he could take him time around her. When he was ready, she’d be there. He took the spoon and blew on it before sipping the hit liquid, furrowing his brows. 

“What’s wrong? Don’t like it?”

Marc shook his head. “No, I like it, that’s what’s confusing me. Since when do you drink berry tea?”

Rebecca was a big tea drinker, swearing by its calming and healing effects, but she always preferred less fruity tastes, like English breakfast or herbal. Marc didn’t really like tea, but when Rebecca made flavors like pomegranate and put lots of sugar in, he enjoyed it.“Oh yeah.” She spoke casually. “I alway keep the fruity shit you like on hand, just in case you drop by. I have those god awful beef ramen noodle cups you used to inhale back in the day”

That did it. That broke him. Everything that Marc Spector had been holding back this week pushed through, and he started sobbing.

Rebecca didn’t say a word about the dingy building they walked into. She had insisted she could pay for a lawyer, but she was probably glad his friend wasn’t exactly expensive.

As Marc opened the door, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson turned to greet them, standing in front of the table in the middle of the room. 

“Marc! How’s it going!” Foggy greeted enthusiastically.

“Hey guys, thanks for meeting with us” Marc kept a protective grasp on Rebecca’s shoulders. Not because he didn’t trust the pair, but because the last few days scared the shit out of him, and he wanted her close.

“Of course.” Matty extended a hand to Rebecca, who was obviously a little surprised the blind man knew exactly where she was standing, but took it anyway. “Marc tells us you insist on paying, but we want to do this for you. Marc has saved our skin a bunch of times, we owe him.”

Rebecca shook her head. “No, I appreciate it, but no. Give someone lse your pro-bono work, I don’t need it” Her pride may be wounded, but she was a proud woman.”

Foggy laughed a bit “Ma’am, most of what we do is pro-bono, it feels like” He joked, and Matt gently nudged him. Foggy motioned for them to sit at the table.

“You can give someone else your charity, Mr. Nelson.”

Matt interjected. ”It’s not charity, miss Malcolm-”

“Levi” Marc interrupted. “Her last name is Levi”

“Oh, sorry, we were just going over the documents you sent over-”

“Yeah, Malcolm was that bastard’s-”

Rebecca put a comforting hand on Marc’s arm. “Honey, I got it.” She turned back to Matt. “Malcolm is my husband’s-”

Marc wouldn’t shut up. “-He’s not your fucking-” He stopped when she squeezed his arm.

She continued looking at Matt, not glancing towards Marc as he interrupted her. “-My husband’s name. And thank you, Mr. Murdock, but there are plenty of people in worse situations than me.”

Matt smiled. “We won’t be billing you. If you feel uncomfortable with that, St. Monica’s is a wonderful women’s shelter, I’ve worked with them in the past with other victims, you can donate whatever you think is fair their, and the money will be put to good use, I promise.”

Rebecca was conceeded. “Fine.”

“Now.” Matt placed his fingers over some brail papers. “Marc says you don’t want anything out of the divorce?”

Marc spoke up. “No, but she should, after all that bastard did to her”

“Marc, honey, I got it” Rebecca spoke, and Marc missed the irritation laced in her voice, but Foggy didn’t.

“Sorry” Marc muttered.

Rebecca had taken the information surprisingly well. In a world where norse gods were fighting in New York, anything was possible.

“I suppose an Egyption god isn’t the strangest thing I’ve heard this year”

“Yeah, Might be the the strangest for me” he  muttered

A pause. “I’m sorry that happened. But… you know… it’s not your-”

“Don’t” Marc groaned. “Don’t say it”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know what this means. For… for my life” 

She understood this meant his life would be even less predictable. 

“The wedding is in two months… Stay for that? You can stay here. I’ve been moving my shit into Jacks anyway, I’ll just move all the way in”

“I don’t want to take you’re-”

“Stop, Marc, please? Stay here, do whatever shit you have to do at night just… I want you at my wedding. Please?”

Marc had been invited, of course. He couldn’t help feel the invite a bit of a slap, a visible sigh Jack had changed her. Any other year, he would have been in the wedding. Another life, he would have married her. He had made his excuses as to why he couldn’t come. None of that mattered right now.  “Yeah Rivkah, I’ll stay for the wedding”

Rebecca continued. “I just want him out of my life, I just want to be done. I don’t need anything.”

“Marc has told me some of what happened. I’m very sorry to hear what he did.”

With a dry laugh, Becca smiled sadly. “When I moved to Seattle, I thought it would be different. I wanted to see so much there, really get into the local music scene… But now I just understand why grunge sounds like that.”

Foggy “Ah, yeah, hate grunge”

Me too! Steven made his first appearance of the day. Although Marc was pretty sure he terrified Foggy, Foggy and Steven had become friends.

Matty nodded. “Well, if everything was documented by police and medical staff, you’d have a pretty strong case for cruelty, and can get a settlement that could help you get back on your feet”

“I-” Rebecca started by Marc continued his seeming one way conversation with Matt.

“I made sure they wrote down everything-”

Foggy “Hey Marc, Maybe let Ms. Levi-”

Marc wasn’t listening. “-and I'll have the police report on hand too, we filed for that before we left.”

“Marc,” Rebecca glared at him. “What are you doing?”

Marc blinked. “I’m trying to help“

Eyes wide with that little bit of crazy in her, Rebecca told him in no uncertain terms to stop. “Marc Spector, I have a masters degree in social work, do you really think I don’t know how this works? Do you think I don’t know what needs to be documented and what reports to file for? This is literally a part of my job. Please. Stop.” She begged him.

Marc nodded, turning to Foggy, who was smiling a bit. “What’s so funny?”

Foggy went straight faced. “Nothing”

“Marc” Matt drew his friends' attention away from Foggy “Would you prefer to sit outside?”

“No fucking way”

Rebecca looked at him. “Keep speaking for me, and you will” She turned back to Matt. “Both hospital visits are documented, the times he hurt me that didn’t require the hospital obviously aren’t. I know we can’t prove the condom tampering, but is it possible to claim he’s at fault for the miscarriage?”

There was a pause. Matty spoke first. “I’m sorry Ms. Levi, Marc only told us about the burns, your fingers and ribs. He didn’t say anything about a miscarraige.” He looked sympathetic, Foggy looked downright stricken. He’d seen a lot in this field but cases like this always hurt to watch.

Marc spoke carefully, making sure he wasn’t interrupting Rebecca, but she was looking at him like she expected him to talk. “I didn’t want… I figured you should be the one to talk about it, since it’s very private”

And just like that, all the frustration Rebecca felt with Marc melted. She turned to her lawyers. “I didn’t know I was pregnant until Marc came that day… I…” She glanced at the table in embarrassment, before gathering herself to look back up. “Jack had come to the hospital. We were… we were going to try again, he said he’d stop rinking, and I know it was stupid but I believed him”

“It’s not stupid” Foggy assured. “He manipulated you. After so many years he just got better at it. There’s a reason he didn’t start out violent, he had to win you over first, learn what strings to pull and what games to play. He only ever did what he thought he could get away with.”

Rebecca closed her eyes and nodded, feeling understood, before continuing. “When Marc got there, Jack had went for food. When he came back, Marc was there, he told me I was pregnant” Rebecca explained how she didn’t realize it, she didn’t even think she could get pregnant, and how she had miscarried that night. “He said I thought we used condoms. I assume that means he took it off, or poked holes or something”

Matty nodded. “It will make a difference with what you think he did, between condom tampering and removal, we’ll look into Washington’s specific laws.”

Marc just had to pipe up again. “What? Why? It’s rape. It’s illegal everywhere.”

Matty tried to clarify. “I know, but under different state laws, it depends. In California, condom removal is rape, but condom tampering is just deception.”

Anger growing again, Marc’s voice raised. “If he had to deceive her to have sex, it’s not sex, it’s rape”

“Marc stop,” Rebecca tried.

“I know that, and you know that, but what we believe and what the law says are often two different things, you know that as well as me” Matt tried to reason with his fellow vigilante.

“He raped-!”

“Marc! Out!” Rebecca stood up quickly, trying not to yell. Marc, Foggy and Matt all stood up with her.

Marc looked confused. “Beccs-”

“No!” she raised her hands in defeat. “Stop yelling to these people I barely know about me being raped, and stop talking for me! Stop saying rape, I swear to fucking god, Marc!” She put her hands on his shoulders as Foggy rounded the table. “I love you, I love you so, so much, and I thank god everyday for you but jesus, Marc, you are coming in too hot, and I need to do this alone”

Marc opened his mouth to argue, but Foggy’s hand was on his shoulder. “Marc, let’s step out”

“But-” Marc started, but Steven took the body. “Right mate, let’s go” He leaned over to Rebecca “Let us know when you’re ready, love” and with that, Foggy and Steven walked to the other room.

Rebecca turned to Matt. “I take it Marc’s DID isn’t news to you guys then”

Matty smiled. “No, neither is Moon Knight”

Bursting out in a laugh, rare these days, she grinned at him. “Oh, he told you about that, did he?”

“I met Moon Knight first, actually”

“Oh? He beat up a pick pocket or some shit?”

Matty saw an opportunity. “You just assume I can’t be a hero like Marc, huh? Just like that?”

She goes pale. “Oh! No, I just-”

But Matt couldn’t keep the game going for long, not when he clearly made her panic. He laughed “Relax. I would recommend crime fighting for the average blind person. Just the ones who were blinded by radioactive goop.”

Rebecca crossed her arms and sat back. “Always the radioactive, huh?”

“Yup, just like the song” His hand went back to the papers. “Now, let's see how much money we can get from this bastard.”

As Marc rang the doorbell to Rebecca’s house, he heard the eager pitter patter of feet, and he knew who would be answering the door.

“Marc! Marc! Come check out my nintendo!” Asa took Marc’s hand and dragged him to the living room as Marc called to Rebecca he was going to be with Asa for a bit.

Of course her dad magically has money to buy Asa a nintendo, but Rebecca has to buy school supplies herself.

Asa was 6 years younger than Marc and Rebecca were, leaving him only 3 when their mom died. Rebecca had spent most of her preteens and youth taking care of him, since her dad was usually too drunk. When Marc began coming around after school around age 11, he realized why Becca never did after school activities, despite being smart and knowing so many people; she had a kid to take care of, a mom to a 6 year old at the ripe age of 12. Although Becca would come over to his place sometimes, especially after Asa got older, They generally preferred Rebecca’s, and Marc helped step in with Asa. It wasn’t like Marc exactly had the strongest father figure growing up, but he knew how to be a bi brother. It was cathartic, really. It wasn’t like Marc had to do all that much. Their dad considered Asa the golden boy, while Rebecca was the scapegoat. 

But Marc was there to do stuff brothers did. He taught Asa how to play catch, and later helped him practice baseball on the off seasons, when Asa inevitably joined a team. And he was good, too. Enough to get a small sports scholarship to UNL, which combined with the midwest exchange program for in-state tuition, he was able to scrape by college. Marc had lost a lot of contact with him after him and Rebecca became homeless; Marc wasn’t allowed in the house after their dad found him in Rebecca’s bedroom. He would go years without seeing Asa, but he always asked about him when he saw Rebecca, and occasionally they’d see Asa when both were in town… but Asa had changed. 

Carl blamed Rebecca for everything. When she left home, that rubbed off on Asa, and instead of being grateful that Rebecca was surrogate mother to him, he began to see her as the problem, which, of course, was a problem to Marc. Meet ups became less frequent as they had begun to devolve into fights, where Asa would blame Rebecca, and Marc would fiercely defend her, leading to shouted matches with Becca dragging Marc away. 

Marc wasn’t good at making friends. He wasn’t good with people in general. He had Steven, but no matter what Steven said, Marc knew Steven was there because he had to be. He missed Asa. He missed Randall. He missed Rebecca whenever she was gone. It was nice to have Matt.

When they got home that night, Rebecca seemed tired, but he had something planned, something that couldn’t be moved. “Rivkah? Do you know what today is?” He asked as they entered their newly shared home.

She thought for a second, then eyes went wide with panic “YOUR BIRTHDAY?! Wait. No. Not for two days. Uuuuuuhh.” a small gasp. “Oh fuck, it’s Purim”

Marc nodded, a small smile on his face. “Do you want to go? I know we’ve had a long week-”

“Yeah, but it’s past sundown, no office is going to be open, and there’s no way we’re getting into a service if we don’t talk to a rabbi, not in this climate-”

“Honey” Marc took her hands. “I already called, we’re registered, if we want to go” He looked at her, softening from the wear of the day just by taking in her pretty face. Even with the scar, she was still the prettiest woman he’d ever seen.

“Marc…” She gave his hand a squeeze. “You don’t have to go. I know it makes you uncomfortable”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just… it’s different. Not used to it. But with you with me…” Marc pulled her in for a hug. “I’ll be fine. Do you remember what I said last month, when you called me after getting out of the hospital?”

She laughed a bit “I don’t remember much from the last year, if I’m being honest.”

“I told you if you left with me, if you let me help you, I’d go to services with you. And here you are.”

“You don’t have too-”

“I got costumes.”

Rebecca pulled back at that, smirking at him. “Marc Spector, I knew you as a child, your ‘halloween costume’ was just your dads suit and a drawn on mustache for years. You’re telling me you got costumes?”

“Well…” he raises an eyebrow “These aren't much better. C’mere.”

He gestured her over to the amazon prime box and pulled out what he had. “For me” A red headband, flannel, and a white t-shirt “Bruce Springsteen. And for you,” Long blonde wig, flowy black dress and a black shawl with embroidery. “Stevie Nicks. Whaddya think?”

She looked like she would cry, then nearly tackled him in a hug “I think I love you, Marc Spector”

Holding her close to him, he nestled his face into her neck, taking her in. “I think I love you too, Rebecca Levi”

That night at Purim services, when it was time for the Kaddish, Rebecca stood, holding Marc’s hand.

*********************

Thanks for reading!!! I promise the next chapter wont suck so bad. I have more of a theme/story planned for flashbacks, we're gonna get to know Asa a bit more, see Mark meet Jack, and see the wedding day. Then, our fav Jake makes an appearance.

Be sure to check out my masterlist here, lots of fic with oscar isaac characters, as well as some others like bruce springsteen and Han solo!

LMK if you'd like to join the tag list!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ninebluehearts @sofi786 @myfandomlikesandstories @tippycakes26 @ahookedheroespureheart @arsonfrogger

[paperandhis-paper]

Arc-V Month Day 11: Legacy for the Future

(Is that a motherfucking Jojo reference?)

Ok, so, I've spent most days of @arcvmonth so far gushing about the show, so warning: negativity ahead.

I'm overall mixed on the Legacy characters. I don't think they ruin the show as some people claim, but I happen to have problems with... all of them? There are also positives, ofc, so ANALYSIS TIME!

Crow: he's... fine. His screentime is fine. His role in the plot is fine. Everything about him is just fine. My only real complaint is that I wished Shun had won and gotten another duel with Yuya, but it's whatever. He's really only part of the Lancers because he's a legacy character, as I don't think he's the most interesting Synchro character.

Jack: by far the best Legacy character, Jack somewhat takes the role of rival from Reiji, down to having 3 duels with the protagonist and a 3000 ATK ace. Giving him the role of a mentor is an interesting take on the character, although it was weird going back to 5D's I don't know how people feel about him beating Sergey (I know some people hated that when the episode was first announced), but somehow it works fine? It's an interesting subversion, because you'd think Yuya would be the one to do so, but instead Yuya's role is to be the one to unite the people together. My only problem is that it's... kinda weird that Jack just lets the City remain a shithole. Like, do something my man! I also wonder if Yusei wouldn't have been more fitting for his role, but I understand they didn't want to have the protagonists so Yuya wouldn't be overshadowed.

Kaito: I never cared for Kaito in Zexal (granted, it's been a long while since I've seen it), and Arc-V Kaito has similar issues. Namely, being a bit too powerful. He never has a solo loss, and here's where being a legacy character begins to hurt. He had a reputation for being unbeatable (Tron cheating aside), so the writers know they can't have him lose easily. He even almost beats Yuya! The best thing about him is that he provides a mirror for Shun; he's basically edgy-bird Shun from the beginning, but in some ways worse. He steals spotlight a fair bit, but his most egregious case of this is to another Legacy Character, so whatever.

Speaking of...

Asuka: done dirty, and so unnecessarily. Seriously, let her duel Dennis! Him vs Kaito isn't a TERRIBLE set-up, but she needed a big win so her presence doesn't just feel like fanservice. Her getting carded also sucks, but I get the writers kinda had to (can't have a Ritual duelist face Zarc, after all), plus it gave Yuri some much-needed depth.

But at least she got a win, even if it was against mooks. Unlike...

Edo: oh boy. See, I don't actually have much issues with his arc. It works, so long as you ignore that it has basically nothing to do with Edo's character in GX. No, what I wanna talk about this is his duel with Yuya.

I'm gonna be blunt: he should've won that duel. For one, he didn't get a single win in the series (tbf, his opponents were strong, but still), but most importantly, earlier on we saw with Kaito vs Shun that even if you lose you can still reach your opponent. And Edo got development himself by accepting Entertainment Dueling and grabbing an Action Card. The fact that Yuya wins by grabbing an Action Card of his own just rubs salt on the wound. Plus, I just like the idea of Yuya never beating an arc villain (other than Zarc, sorta), his role instead being another (then again, I guess then people would use that to claim Yuya is a weak protagonist and whatnot, so maybe it was for the best).

Also, both him and Kaito interrupting Yugo and Yuri's duel is dumb. Saving that rant for later.

So yeah. Legacy Characters were a mixed bag. I think the writers struggled with giving them the prominence they deserved without outshining Arc-V's massive cast. That's a very fine line. But hey— we got Legacy Support! That's always a good thing, right?

[owengrose]

Shipper tag game

tagged by my friend @sunriseverse (hi friend!!!!!)

What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

johnlock. listen. i'm aware. i am aware. Thankfully I've grown as a person and now I don't care about anything or anyone associated with that mess of a show.

Which ship would you consider your first one?

uhhhhhh aang/katara maybe? I really wasn't interested in romance that much until like middle school, but I do remember thinking katara and aang should get together as a kid.

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

probably destiel. Actually wait no, guaranteed destiel.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

i was in middle school when Twilight came out, so I can almost guarantee you somebody drew Bella and Edward fanart and showed me. I don't actually know this for sure though, this is just a guess. The first fanart I actually remember seeing was Percy/Annabeth.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

lmao no. it's just not worth it literally ever

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

mmm not really. i have ships where I just don't see it, but I don't usually feel all that strongly about it.

Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Sam/Jack from Stargate! This is entirely @kbunny10 's fault, she got me into Stargate and now I have Feelings.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I mean, always. The biggest ones are probably Morgwen, Sam/Jack, destiel (i thought i was free but then nov 5 happened so......). But I'm not super actively a shipper these days

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

no bc everyone i've ever wanted to get together did so in my heart. Sam and Jack should've gotten together on screen, but In My Heart they did get together so it's chill.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

not that i can think of! my romantic tastes tend to be relatively consistent honestly. maybe the gay ones before i became not homophobic (and then not straight! yayyyyyy!!!!! :D )

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

again, none that i can think of! I'm kind of a normie tbh

What is your favorite crack ship?

so this isn't actually a crack ship but like. Captain Hook and the daughter of Snow White/Prince Charming on OUAT got together. That was a real thing. They really said "you know who we should pair with our main character, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming? Famous villain Captain Hook. Yeah we're gonna make him young and sexy so it's fine." That was a real thing!! It aired on television and I was REALLY invested!! Man OUAT was such a wild ride lmao

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

i thought it was destiel but i checked by ao3 bookmarks and apparently newmann are still unbeat!! shoutout to the year where i was obsessed with those gay little scientists, i went absolutely NUTS for them. My newmann fics that I bookmarked are more than the #2 and #3 ships COMBINED.

What do most of your ships usually have in common?

there's usually an earnestness or a sincerity that either one or both of them has. where one person is just like very open about how much they like/admire the other, or where they engage with people so trustingly, or something along those lines. sometimes its sincere4snarky, sometimes its sincere4sincere, and sometimes its "i'm only earnest around you"

What you absolutely hate in a ship?

lack of communication. it drives me INSANE. unless they're miscommunicating about their feelings for each other, then it's great. but otherwise i hate it bc like, this is your partner!! talk to them!! what the fuck!!

Tagging: @kbunny10, @inesathammar, @cawfeeann, @lacigarra, and anyone else who wants to do this!