#iwrite rants

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

Every goddamned time I think I have the timeline down for this fucking game I am, once again, proven wrong.

[writersarea]

i'm cracking up. so iwrite a decent amount of fanfic, right?

i have on story i've been working on for nearly 4 years now, i public a couple of chapters every few months at best. it's not a priority but i really like it when i get the chance to update it

and it is SO FUNNY to reread your own author's notes

what do you mean i published a chapter right after i had a root canal? why was i ranting about the fact that the live action scooby doo was supposed to be rated R in another?

anyways, write for yourself cause then you really enjoy it when you come back to the fic you update once every six months after a bender in a really small kdrama fandom

[hellomishee]

Left Out

I guess I never really came to terms with the idea that in a group of people, someone's going to just sit in the background, listen to his/her friends talk without checking up on you--to be left out, basically. I'm going to be honest, my friends have made me feel left out or really left me out, a couple of times before, but I never really made a big deal out of it. I just always shrugged it off and thought, "I don't even want to go with them cause I don't want to drink or spend or go out of the house". I sometimes don't even show up to gatherings just because I don't want to waste energy. Maybe I have always been left out, but today I got slapped on by that harsh reality I've been avoiding. Damn, I was really left out. I couldn't blame them if they had already preformed their group, but it was almost like I didn't exist. It's not like my presence was relevant to them most of the time, boy I even have to make myself visible..acknowledgeable, if that's even a word. I'm just tired of this kind of friendship, you know. I don't want to always have to prove my worth to my friends. Heck why'd you call them friends if you have to prove yourself all yge time. Sometimes, I think our friendship is so superficial, that maybe if we weren't classmates before we wouldn't be friends. I'm just tired. I'm tired of making myself visible, I'm tired proving my worth, and I'm tired of squeezing myself into that tiny space they barelyleft for me. I deserve to toke up space, I deserve to be noticed, I deserve to be acknowledged, Ideserve better friends. I think I do.

[carey-pricemas]

Open Requests

Hey guys! My requests are ALWAYS open, but as I just updated my personal queue (update is coming Wednesday) I’m booked until August 2nd!!!! So I decided to go ahead and make a list of other imagines blogs that as of May 1st have open requests (per their blog):

Disclaimer before you continue: While I speak with several of these blogs, most of them I do not know status of their requests (they tend to just let me rant about stupid hockey boys) nor what they all do and do not feel comfortable with! I love you all and know you guys will show them the same respect you show me! Love you! Now enjoy!

@addicts4dramatics

@annalahey

@arizonacoyotesgirl16

@austonmatty34

@babybenny

@boo-boocmf

@boshbashbish

@boys-to-legends-writing

@cassssssssssh

@diaries-of-pucks-and-purses (but they have quite a few requests as well)

@fuckleafs

@hattricksandhockeyfics

@hawtkeyfanfics

@hockeyflicka

@hockeyobsess

@imagines-nhl

@iwrite-imagines

@jonesygirl31

@juggiejonesthethird

@mapleleafstrash

@mediocre-imagines

@mystupidlovesongs

@nhl--imagines

@nhl-hockey-fanfic

@nhlwriting (not totally into smut)

@okayleafs (leafs and pens)

@penaltyboximagines

@peppermint-writings (No smut)

@scottish-kid

@theaustonmatthews

@thedirtydangler

@throw-the-torch

@two-minute-minor (No smut)

@werenskheeyyy

@werenskiswritings

@write-write-hockey-write (No smut)

@yourhockeyboys

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

I'm making a goddamned spreadsheet boys, it's time. I've HAD IT.

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

posting this bit of the ramble separately from this post (just to keep it a neutral reference) but, I will say, the greatest drawback to Baxter's DLC - and Dereks by extension, I expect - so far is that, even a fully romantically invested Cove just... shuts off??? the moment the other romance is turned on.

rant below, btw:

Like, my MC has had strong feelings ever since day one for a Mr. Cove Holden and I have absolutely nurtured those feelings in Cove just as strongly so that it was very mutual and pretty well known by both them and everyone around them by the time that Baxter actually showed up. So, to see that all just get deleted flat out from the characters like bleach on the brain - It was just, I don't know.. Disappointing?

And I mean, as much as it hurts me personally, I do understand that most people still find polyamory pretty cringe and avoid it - and though I don't agree with that mindset at all purely because it's so non-inclusive to who I am, I'm still not very surprised when I don't find it in the media I ingest either. It's just a sad acknowledgement that I'm always left being aware of.

But like, to straight up just not acknowledge previous romantic feelings in the face of a new relationship at all just feels so entirely fake to me. Like, it broke my immersion completely on several occasions because characters just start acting like they haven't been talking about the obvious feelings you two have for each other for the past several years. The fact that you can't even have an open dialogue of "Oh, what about Cove?" with anyone else is just very ridiculous to me.

Cove also straight up just doesn't have any strong reactions to you anymore and, though I could suspend belief on anyone else having that switch because they were just keeping quiet about shit to try and be polite, I straight up just cannot believe Cove-I feel everything-Holden could just stop blushing or crushing or loving you like that when you are actively still very touchy and very loving towards him at every chance you get. Especially not if you still choose to flirt with him - that 'laughing it off' behavior can only possibly work if you were previously just friends, it does not work when you both clearly have feelings for each other. There should be something there, is what I'm saying, for the sake of immersion if nothing else.

Anyways, this is getting long, lmao.

Suffice to say that I'm not at all surprised I don't get to be poly (even in such an otherwise inclusive game) I'm used to that, which is really a sad thing to say but, there it is. I am, however, pretty goddamned miffed that there was no dialogue or follow up or anything to make the transition between 'Clearly Romancing Cove' to 'Clearly Romancing Baxter' a more realistic and organic experience. That history should not just outright be deleted. If they could make it that Derek still seems to have some feelings for you in Cove's whole romance route, then Cove should also be given that too. Otherwise, it just kind of leaves an unhappy taste in my mouth, y'know?

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

@organized-chaotic-disaster I totally see what you mean 😭 (tho I haven’t played the Derek or Baxter DLCs myself). Tbh I think the main reason you can’t be poly is the fact that it would be hard to implement in an already complex game with high customization of your experience, especially since it’s written by one person— idk how they’d do that tbh. And I know GB has gone on record to say that Cove wouldn’t be down for a poly relationship, but it still sucks to not have the option. I understand why poly relationships aren’t really a thing in games— a combination of monogamy being the norm irl and the difficulty in implementing the mechanic itself —but I hope one day those barriers can be broken down so it becomes an option 😭 And sorry if any of this comes across as me coming for you or something, that’s not my intention!!! I just had some thoughts I wanted to share. Overall I definitely agree that things like this could and should be handled better, and hopefully will be with future games with dateable NPCs— I’d love to explore that myself, and I wish I could with OL.

[original post]

Mm, It's certainly not impossible to add in those features [the FH series, for example, is a single writer and they've added in poly options upon fan requests] but, I can understand not wanting to put the extra work in yeah, especially since the creator has been saying for a while now that "this is the last thing I'll do for olba" like, they seem to be really trying to move on to the next project, so I get it.

It's also why I don't expect to ever get any resolution for this😔but it still does make me very sad because I really do love this game so much, it's one of the few forms of media out there that make me feel comfortable/understood/safe with myself and the lack of a poly option really takes away from that feeling quite a bit.

My main gripe though is that there isn't any conversation at all about it. Like, that just takes away from the experience of the game.

Once you choose to date Baxter, everyone just goes 'Error 404' on you and seems to outright forget that you were basically setting up to and expected to marry Cove. That, to me, reads like a failing of writing.

Like, there should be some dialogue, y'know? Cove should be able to question your relationship, even in a round-about and self-concious/self-serving way, there should be some tension there where he has to tackle his very real feelings for you and you can possibly do the same for him but, there's just none. Like, if you flirt with him in Step 2, have that romantic tension carry over to Step 3 he shouldn't be able to just shrug off all his feelings instantly. Feelings don't work that way, bro😂It just bugs me that it's so inorganic and unable to be explored. Cove and MC have a lot of history, they should be able to talk about it in every aspect, y'know?

Also! Not ranting at you specifically, lmao! I'm just sharing my feelings. Thank you so much for replying to me, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts! It's also just nice to see that someone out there also wants the poly options like me🥺we got too much love in our wee little hearts for this single romance bs lmaooo

I lowkey wish there was a mod community for games like these😂ngl, it'd be nice to just have a mod that ignored certain flags or something so that you could at least have the romantic tension still there with Cove while you romance someone else. It doesn't fix the lack of dialogue option but it'd be better than the clear and noticable lack of what was clearly there before. At least then it'd be easier to pretend there was something to bite into lol

[hellomishee]

I guess I have too much time on my hands to think about how I feel. Why don't we talk about our feelings again? Why are we so afraid to do so?