#ive wanted to do this for like seven years. so here goes nothing

[writingsonsaturn]

: ̗̀➛ the 'taylor swift' series

𖡎 description - this series will be based off of taylor swift songs, every song will have it's own fic inspired by the songs title and or inspired by lyrics. some songs ive decided not to add to this series out of respect as well as it would not feel right to include.

disclaimer - all songs and song titles belong to taylor swift, all rights to these songs belong to her.

⚘ = fluff | ✤ = smut | ֎ = angst

+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:﹤+:ꔫ:

The Tortured Poets Department

- fortnight

- ֎ the tortured poets department (spencer reid)

↪ spencer breaks up with you out of no where

- my boy only breaks his favorite toys

- ⚘ down bad (jensen ackles)

↪ jensen trys to comfort you after a break up (daughter!reader)

- so long, london

- but daddy i love him

- fresh out the slammer

- florida!!!

- guilty as sin?

- whos afraid of little old me?

- i can fix him (no really i can)

- loml

- i can do it with a broken heart

- the smallest man who ever lived

- the alchemy

- clara bow

- the black dog

- imgonnagetyouback

- the albatross

- chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

- how did it end?

- so high school

- i hate it here

- thank you aimee

- i look in peoples windows

- the prophecy

- cassandra

- peter

- the bolter

- robin

- the manuscript

Midnights

- lavender haze

- maroon

- anti-hero

- snow on the beach

- you're on your own, kid

- midnight rain

- question...?

- vigilante shit

- bejeweled

- labyrinth

- karma

- sweet nothing

- mastermind

- the great war

- bigger than the whole sky

- paris

- high infidelity

- glitch

- would've, could've, should've

- dear reader

- hits different

- you're losing me

evermore

- willow

- champagne problems

- gold rush

- 'tis the damn season

- tolerate it

- no body, no crime

- happiness

- dorothea

- coney island

- ivy

- cowboy like me

- long story short

- closure

- evermore

- right where you left me

- it's time to go

folklore

- the 1

- cardigan

- the last great american dynasty

- exile

- my tears ricochet

- ֎ mirrorball (tasm!peter parker)

↪ peter hasn't been very appreciative of your hard work

- seven

- august

- this is me trying

- illicit affairs

- invisible string

- mad woman

- epiphany

- betty

- peace

- hoax

- the lakes

- carolina

Lover

- i forgot that you existed

- cruel summer

- lover

- the man

- the archer

- i think he knows

- miss americana & the heartbreak prince

- paper rings

- cornelia street

- death by a thousand cuts

- london boy

- false god

- you need to calm down

- afterglow

- me!

- it's nice to have a friend

- daylight

- ⚘ all of the girls you've loved before (tim bradford)

↪ you were always who tim wanted

reputation

- ...ready for it?

- endgame

- i did something bad

- don't blame me

- delicate

- look what you made me do

- so it goes...

- gorgeous

- getaway car

- king of my heart

- dancing with our hands tied

- dress

- this is why we can't have nice things

- call it what you want

- new year's day

- i don't wanna live forever

1989

- welcome to new york

- blank space

- style

- out of the woods

- ֎ all you had to do was stay (tim bradford)

↪ tim shows up one night after breaking up with you

- shake it off

- i wish you would

- bad blood

- wildest dreams

- how you get the girl

- this love

- i know places

- clean

- wonderland

- you are in love

- new romantics

- "slut!"

- say don't go

- now that we don't talk

- suburban legends

- is it over now?

- sweeter than fiction

RED

- state of grace

- red

- treacherous

- i knew you were trouble

- all too well

- 22

- i almost do

- we are never ever getting back together

- stay stay stay

- the last time

- holy ground

- sad beautiful tragic

- the lucky one

- everything has changed

- starlight

- begin again

- the moment i knew

- come back... be here

- girl at home

- better man

- nothing new

- babe

- message in a bottle

- forever winter

- run

- the very first night

- all too well (10 min)

- safe & sound

- eyes open

Speak Now

- mine

- sparks fly

- back to december

- speak now

- dear john

- mean

- the story of us

- never grow up

- enchanted

- better than revenge

- innocent

- last kiss

- haunted

- long live

- ours

- superman

- electric touch

- when emma falls in love

- i can see you

- castles crumbling

- foolish one

- timeless

Fearless

- fearless

- fifteen

- love story

- hey stephen

- white horse

- you belong with me

- breathe

- tell my why

- you're not sorry

- the way i loved you

- forever & always

- the best day

- change

- jump then fall

- untouchable

- come in with the rain

- superstar

- the other side of the door

- today was a fairytale

- you all over me

- mr. perfectly fine

- we were happy

- that's when

- don't you

- bye bye baby

- if this was a movie

Taylor Swift

- tim mcgraw

- picture to burn

- teardrops on my guitar

- a place in this world

- cold as you

- the outside

- tied together with a smile

- stay beautiful

- should've said no

- mary's song (oh my my my)

- our song

- im only me when im with you

- invisible

- a perfectly good heart

Bonus

- christmas tree farm

[inevitablestars]

HEY LINDS this is my Official Attempt to sway you towards perciver i hope you like it and that it doesnt turn you off them forever, now first off!

general relationship potential:

percy and oliver are in the same year and as far as we know they are the only boys in gryffindor in their year which makes them not only roommates but also the only boys in their room. for seven years.

percy is incredibly misunderstood by his whole family pretty much always, they all avoid him or are rude to him or just misunderstand him completely. with oliver's proximity its very likely hes the first person ever in percys life to properly observe him and understand him!!!

percy is the most career driven singleminded ambitious motherfucker in gryffindor.... second only to oliver!!! who is the most quidditch obsessed bitch on this planet and arguably has more solid career goals of anyone in that entire series. they are hyperfocused! they are girlbossing! they are not getting a wink of sleep bc they both get so lost in their work they forget what time is!

classic jock/nerd combo except oliver is a jock who is secretly a nerd (think of all the quidditch stats!!) and percy is a nerd who is secretly a jock (percy is a master spellcaster and nobody can convince me otherwise, that man fought multiple death eaters on his own at the battle of hogwarts and you do not get that kind of skill from just sitting behind a desk)

idk theres honestly a lot of directions one could take them but theyve just got so much chemistry and so much in common but also different and theyve got so much potential

(in my head they are the definition of autism/adhd solidarity but i know that not everyone hcs them that way which is cool too)

now for fic recs!!!

Twenty-nine - 85k - Endrina

percy weasley-centric fic that is honestly one of the most creative interpretations of him ive ever read, it goes deep into his past and his canonic decisions and stuff but theres a twist to it that is just gold, also its a whodunit where oliver's been framed for murder and only percy knows hes innocent its very very good and definitely played a huge part in me falling in love w percy's character

A New Life - 89k - AnotherAuthor, myroaringtwenties

percy and oliver meet post-war and help each other get their lives moving forward again, its very well written and very sweet but mind the tags its kinda heavy at points, it doesnt shy away from how hard the war was on everyone but the community that the weasleys and the quiddich players have is very warm and i love it

At least he has great abs - 12k - Irisen

this one is a cute shorter nonmagic soulmate au where oliver is a famous footballer and percy is a politician and they end up being soulmates, its very funny and light and i just enjoy it

(also i am technically writing a perciver fic rn its called Rely On Me and the first two chapters are up on ao3 but its my first fic attempt and i havent updated it all summer bc Life so pls dont feel obligated to read it i just felt like it would be weird if i didnt mention it)

anyway! i hope you enjoyed this if nothing else and if you read these or find other perciver fics or just wanna talk about em lmk bc i am always down to talk perciver i love them with my whole heart and soul <3

josephine hello. is this from literally ten months ago? perhaps it is. but i'm here now.... you mentioned perciver earlier and it reminded me that this has been sitting in my inbox for SO LONG

alright let's get into this

• iconic of them to be alone in a dorm for seven years together that already screams soulmates

• you're so right these two get their minds set on something and they're going to get it they're going to achieve whatever they want (tbh i already think they should put that energy toward like Getting Together but i distress)

• nerd jocks! a slay tbh

• i see the autism adhd thing i get it

• i also think like yeah i agree they have a lot in common when you dig into them but from one glance it's like ? these two? really? but then you see who they are at their core and it's like oh of course how could you think anything else (i have a lot of characters and dynamics that this sorta concept applies to i get it)

also love the inclusion of fic recs which i will check out when i am back to reading <3 consider myself convinced (it did not take much you already convinced me by just sending this ask)

[asongoficeandthrones]

A Clash of Kings First Read - Chapter 28

(POV: Bran IV.)

Setting: Winterfell.

Favorite character: Meera Reed. She's kind, she likes Bran and doesn't treat him like a child and understands him (she changed the subject when he wished to do so), she can fight... What's not to like?

MVP: Jojen Reed. I mean, apparently Luwin doesn't believe that he can actually see the future, but I'm choosing to believe it. And that kind of power is (maybe) amazing. And one of the first examples of magic, real magic, that we see in the Seven Kingdoms themselves, if I'm not mistaken. And also, his dream is really mysterious, and I wonder what exactly it means.

Things I loved/liked:

"It's your anger, Bran," her brother said. "Your fear." Does that mean Bran is Summer in moments like this? Jojen sure seems to think so, and I'd trust his opinion on it.

Mystery, yay! So Jojen Reed can see the future? That's... intriguing. And if he saw the crow and Bran did too, does that mean that Bran can see the future? If so, that's... a good thing, I want to say, but not if he stays cooped up in Winterfell where he can do nothing to help. Also, Maester Luwin and Ser Rodrik probably won't believe it anyway. And I also love the symbolism of the three eyes: a third eye is usually linked with seeing the future, so that's fitting!

The "fights" between Summer and Meera and Summer and Bran. My conclusions: 1) Meera can fight with a net, she's amazing; 2) Bran is adorable when he acts like a nine-year-old should (and I don't mean it pejoratively at all!); 3) Summer is also a cutie pie when he wants to be.

Bran associating Maester Luwin and his tower with comfort: "Luwin was hopelessly untidy, but his clutter of books and scrolls and bottles was as familiar and comforting to Bran as his bald spot and the flapping sleeves of his loose grey robes."

Things I disliked/hated:

Bran feeling ashamed for the wolves' actions. It wasn't his fault because even after his anger vanished, somehow it was still in the wolves and they attacked, not him. But then I also feel really bad that he's thinking, Maybe Maester Luwin was right to lock them in the godswood, so I'm really torn.

I want to understand Jojen's dream, but I can't seem to... yet. Guess I'll just have to be patient. And Bran too! That doesn't mean (for me anyway) that Jojen doesn't have the greensight. I'm sure he does.

I'm not sure I agree with what Jojen did, pushing Bran so far into his anger that he warged into Summer. I mean, he apparently knows when he's going to die (btw, what a terrible thing to know in a world like this... imagine if he were to die tomorrow!), but having Summer attack him? I know why he did it, but still, that seemed like the wrong thing to do.

I don't really understand why Bran won't speak of his dreams? Obviously, Jojen is living through something similar and could help him, so I don't get why he still refuses to talk and why he's getting so angry about it. And there's the fact that Jojen and Meera almost got hurt because of it (because apparently the wolves attacked because of Bran's anger and fear). I like them too much to see them hurt, especially by the direwolves, because I love them too.

Luwin's insistence that magic isn't real. Because I'm pretty sure that it is (duh, dragons are born again, Jojen can see the future, and Bran and Rickon's dream about Ned was no mere coincidence, methinks... and that's all I can think about right now). Granted, he doesn't know what we know, but I'm pretty sure that this belief will get him into trouble later.

Quotes: This one is long, but it's so poetic that I wanted to quote it anyway, so here goes: "Oh, to be sure, there is much we do not understand. The years pass in their hundreds and their thousands, and what does any man see of life but a few summers, a few winters? We look at mountains and call them eternal, and so they seem... but in the course of time, mountains rise and fall, rivers change their courses, stars fall from the sky, and great cities sink beneath the sea. Even gods die, we think. Everything changes." And another one by Maester Luwin: "The dragons are no more, the giants are dead, the children of the forest forgotten with all their lore." Haha, so you think (about dragons anyway). And does that mean we can also expect giants and children of the forest in the future??!

Thoughts overall: Very intriguing!

[aajjks]

i suck at this but let’s pretend it’s okay 😂

bunny jungkookie

it really is nothing, okay? please just drop it and go pick up our daughter before she’s wondering where you are. i’ll see you later tonight, okay? bye.

~ 8pm rolls around when noona finally gets home

noona: i’m home! are the kids already asleep? no, it’s okay! you can clean up dinner and i’ll check on them! yeah, yeah i’ll eat after i check on them!

~ noona goes to see her baby boy is safely asleep in him small bed. wishing she had nights where she would be the one putting him to bed for once. she gently kissed his forehead before quietly walking into her daughters room, only to find her awake. turning as the door opened to see who had walked in.

ellie: mommy!! you’re here?!!

noona: hi baby! i know it’s late and i should really let you go to bed but i just wanted to see you and your brother…

ellie: it’s okay mommy! i’ve missed you so much!

noona: ive been missing you more than you can imagine… missing so much of you two… god… why does it feel like you’ve gotten taller?

ellie: because have silly! i’m almost seven years old! i’m becoming a big girl!

noona: you are, you are getting big i just can’t believe i’m missing everything… feels like i never get to see you and your brother up and awake anymore.

ellie: it’s okay mommy. daddy tells us all the time that even when you’re away, you’re always thinking about us.

noona: i always think about you and elijah. always. so much so that i wanted another little baby.

ellie: i’m going to have another little brother or sister! i hope it’s a sister so i can train her to whoops elijah’s butt!

noona: no baby. theres no baby, it was just a thought.

ellie: there’s no potato in your belly? but why not mommy?

mommy thought about having another baby, giving you a little brother or sister but… but that wouldn’t be fair. not to you, elijah, or this potato. i barley have time to even see you or your brother baby… it wouldn’t be fair to have another baby when i can’t give you attention while you’re here. you deserve it and i can barely do that. if the baby got here, what if i couldn’t give them any attention? see? it’s just not fair…

ellie: it’s okay mommy, don’t cry. i love you!

noona: i’m sorry, i just hate myself for not being here for you. not like a mother should. i’m not just a provider for you and elijah but your mommy and i’ve been playing provider more than mommy, haven’t i… i guess i just thought mommy would be able to… i don’t know, maybe push daddy to get the job and mommy could stay home, get you and your brother ready for school, cook for you guys, and maybe… actually get the chance to feel like a mommy, to… the potato? i just wanted the change to be the one to experience your first words, first steps, to be the first to know what foods you like and didn’t, take you school shopping instead of just seeing everything in the dirty clothes.. but that’s just wishful thinking. daddy can’t get certain jobs and you two are closer to him than me so… it’s probably hurt you to not see him as much like you don’t see me… and you’re asleep… guess that’s what i get for coming home so late in a school night…

~ noona places the sleeping girl down in her bed before also giving her first born a big kiss on the cheek. she heads to the bedroom to change out of her work clothes into something comfortable when her husband walks in.

noona: hey baby. just give me a few minutes to take a shower and i’ll be down to eat. thank you for dinner! it smelled great, can’t wait to try it!

He’s so glad that you’re back home and you got to meet with your children but he sure that Ellie and Elijah were already asleep but maybe Ellie was still awake, and the truth is that your little girl has been missing you very much. Jungkook tries his best to be with his children all the time because he’s at home while we go working.

He hates himself for not being able to provide for his family like a man should be, your relationship is really different from a classic relationship because you’re the breadwinner, and he just does nothing except for taking care of the house and the children

But not anymore because he’s going to get a job one way or another and he’s already found a nice restaurant, he’s going to give an entry tomorrow and maybe a demo of his cooking?

As he enters the room, he sees changing and he doesn’t waste moment to hug you from behind, and he kisses all over your neck, “mhmm I’m so glad you’re home.” he wraps his arms around your waist, and he cannot help but caress your belly.

He still remembers your conversation from today. you want to have another child. And it’s your right. But your circumstances right now are just not compatible.

He would give you as many children as you would want but you’re the one who has to be pregnant- and also provide for the family.

“Noona… I was thinking that-as soon as I got a job, maybe we could start trying for Baby number three.. I know you want to have a child and I kind of heard you talking to Ellie… I wasn’t eavesdropping but I heard you and please don’t feel guilty because you’re the best mommy ever and I am the one who should be ashamed because as a man, it’s my responsibility to put food on the table but I don’t..” he whispers in your neck with guilt.

As a woman, you probably want to be a mother who’s with her children at all times like most, and he’s taking that away from you.

“I will give you the child I promise. Once I start earning so you can be at home with the kids and you won’t have to worry about anything… yeah?”

[ssparksflyy]

jason grace dating hcs ִֶָ ࣪ ִֶָ♱་༘࿐

pairing jason grace x child of mors hcs warning slight mentions of death i guess but thats kind of a given an based off this request !! hope u enjoy

nothing has ever quite been able to top the wave emotions that hit jason when he saw you for the first time

some call it love at first sight i call it love at first sight

like just imagine little jason stopping mid tracks eyes wide and jaw open

you thought it was weird

cause it’s your first day at this random camp, you just found out(and are still processing) that your dad is a roman god ???

as if that wasnt weird enough now theres this tiny white boy staring right at you

so of course you hit em with that "whatcha lookin at punk 🤬🤬🤬" cause your so #hardcore #punk #rock #rebel

no im kidding you just give him a nasty ass look and hes runs away

very short interaction but its one he wont forget

i wanna say youre like eight when you get to camp just for lore reasons

it actually takes a hot second for you to get claimed, im talking like two maybe three years

yeah your dads not the best

but as soon as you do, all your friends DITCH YOU ??

except for

youll never guess who

jason !!

in the time where you were unclaimed, you and jason slowly got close but with him now being one of the only people you hung out with, you got even closer

somewhere along the way, reyna joined your little group and you instantly got close with her as well

(shes out here collecting her creepy kids)

you didnt really have a movie-like friendship with her, but you had a lot of respect for each other and trusted each other deeply

leading to the sharing of private stories and secrets, aka making her the first person to know about *drum roll please* your crush on jason !!! yayyyyy

turns out you didnt even have to tell her that cause she literally just said "oh yea i already knew that"

and you were like ?? okay

just cause you were aware of your feelings (and jason was aware of his) does not mean that you did anything about itttt

reyna spent YEARS watching you two awkwardly interact, both way too afraid to even insinuate any romantic feelings

aka : you thought he wouldnt like you cause ur weird + he thought you only saw him as a friend and didnt share the feelings

only when this boy gets snatched outta nowhere do your feeling really hit you like a double decker bus

waves of really anxious feelings begin coming in more often as time goes on and less people begin to care about his disappearance

butcha never give up and thats what matters !!

reyna's there by your side the entire time, comforting when u need it ♡

then like this one guy shows up i dont remember his name i think hes like the son of neptune or something like that

anyway he goes on a quest or something ?? dont really remember why he's relevant

you do become friends though so theres that

but like best part about him is that the search party that came to find him had jason with them !!!

your heart must've stopped when you saw him cause you were frozen in shock until reyna gave you a shove and suddenly you were racing towards this boy, and he was also coming at you

you collided somewhere in the middle, embracing each other tightly

and you ALMOST

key word almost

kissed him

but not yet !!

lets be honest, nobody wants lore and ive got homework due in a bit so to put it short: after you awkwardly peel yourself off of jason, you end up joining the seven and their quest to stop motha nature! the first few days are a little awkward with the others (mainly cause you've never been much of a people person) but spend so much time with jason !

you swap stories about his time away from camp and gets you a little closer to the friends he met on the way- particularly leo and piper

they soon connect with you, eager to learn more about you after the stories theyve heard from jason and you end that day walking into your room super giddy

just as you were getting into bed however, GUESS WHO WALKS IN

JASON.

"veronica what are you doing in my room??"

he plops down on your bed and makes a little small talk, watching you through the mirror atop the desk you were sitting at

the room gets quiet once you finish and walk over to the bed, the white noise of the ship's engine running being the only thing you hear

as you sit down next to him on your bed, you turn to face him with a soft smile

he returns the smile and starts fidgeting with his hands as he tries to find the words for what hes about to say

omg is he about to say what i think he is ?!?11/1

yea

he starts off his ramble talking about the first time he saw you, how much fun he had growing up with you, then went onto how lost he felt without you and eventually tied it up with a lovey dovey gush about how youve changed his life forever

youd think the guy is proposing

but he’s actually just confessing his feelings for you!!! how cute

you're left a little shocked cause what!! what do you mean jason grace likes you!!!

pretty sure you know what happens next and soon enough your walking around with your finger interlocked and receiving pecks on your nose like its nobody's business

once you actually start dating, the shift from friends to lovers isnt too drastic

cause you already spend so much time together and know everything about each other, it's just now you dont have to hold back the urge to kiss and hug him at every breathing moment

the honeymoon phase is crazyyyyyy

like yall cant get off each other

once you ease out of it, you're still super affectionate with each other, just now its not super shocking that you're dating your best friend and have instead adapted to it

as semi mentioned before, jason looves holding your hand whenever you're together and adores pecking the tip of your nose, forehead, and cheeks

jason is so excited to show you camp half blood and show you his favorite spots when you agree to visiting

you end up really enjoying the camp and have an amazing time swimming in the lake, taking nature walks in the forest, and ending the night cuddled up in cabin one together

but nothing can beat your sleepovers, coffee shop dates, university lecture sit-ins, and afternoon strolls that you have at camp jupiter

its truly your home and you wouldn't choose to live your life with jason anywhere else in the world

things don't really change friends wise

though you do get closer with some people in your classes

pretty soon you're living the dream; a small(ish) circle of friends you know you can trust, two homes, a supportive best friend, and your dream guy right by your side everyday

his favorite way to spend weekends with you is by watching popular movies and ranking them based on the toll the have on his life

#1 on his list? dead poets society

(guys i have not recovered. its been a WEEK AND I HAVENT MOVED ON I DONT THINK I EVER WILL)

he literally has 'carpe diem' scribbled on a lined piece of paper right next to his bed

you are yet to miss a movie night together

you always end up having them, one way or another

honestly, your parents don't have much effect on your life

other than the fact you're into darker things and have been your whole life, your dad and his image haven't had much of an effect on your life

he doesn't acknowledge you and truth be told, you're glad he doesnt

not to forget romans view it as bad luck, so having brunch with death every sunday isn't too appealing to you

you really dont mind it, and jason doesn't mind jupiter too much either

he simply kind of lives his life without really thinking about him, he's happy without him having a role in his life anyway

yknow why?

cause he has you!!! duhhhh

you end up living your life all happy together and its great ‹𝟹

[brninwis]

hi tumblr life update thihg uhh its been a year since ive been on here, and its been a long one.

im currently no longer friends w the people i have been for the past 3ish years. sev and i didnt like this girls bf, and overall weve been having personal issues w the group, and then our confidant decide to snitch to the girl n her bf. apparently they miss us but wtf do you want? the bf or us?

anyways. not much else has happened. im graduating january 25th with a hs diploma equivalent(?) which is very exciting. i failed the entirety of hs just to graduate early. i was a junior with 12 credits and all Fs, skipping school everryday. and now i havent skipped at all.

uhmmm…… my relationship with seven is really good. we get along very well and hes literally the only person i hang out with. we joke abt being friendless and its true…. but at some point we’ll find new ones lol. hs needs to be overr…. uhmmm…. nothing bad w me and sev. weve talked abt my asexuality which was a huge thibg on here, and he accepts it but i feel miserable about it.

if i could choose between being ace and being fucking normal id be normal. its so scary being in a relationship with an allosexual when ur quite literally sex repulsed. like when is he going to get sick of me, when does. it become too much? and he’s a sweetheart, so i know he’d suffer in silence until it gets too much. but is it already too much???

uhmmmm sev has his driver’s license. which is rlly cool!! weve just been driving around.

i did my last show at my hs and sam and i did a speech afterwards. the show was she kills monsters and it was great.

i also did rent at the theater guild this august(?)!!!!

making me think abt my old friends, they claimed they missed us and we dont care abt them anymore, but did u care abt my show? my first ever non high school show and none of my supposed “friends” gave a shit about it. not one single word, or hey thats cool, or ill come see it. yet next chapter they put the fault of our failing relationships on me.

sorry ourr friendship breakup was so messy, i was the villain in the situation even tho there was none.

i havent self harmed in a really long time, i cant even remember the last time!!? before taylor swift which is august. so also before that.

lord i just thought of something i shouldn’t say on here but also wtf? how do i deal with that,, how did i deal with that???????

ive been gaining weight, im almost at my hw….. which is fucking killing me, its a combination of my antipsychotic, birth control, ed, and my boyfriend. its sometimes hard having a bf with the opposite ed you have, and his is more? scary? even though both are. but i care more about his health than mine, and he eats more with me which is good. but also, not good for me. and i can’t restrict bcus then he is too. cat and mouse?

gonna go on a new birth control which goes in my arm.

i cant think of anything else. my life is at a standstill right now, im in between being an adult and a teenager. and its not helping that im graduating early. im just frozen in fear. im excited for thw rest of my life but im also not. uhmmm…

there was supposed to be a major snow storm tonight, but i see no snow. i hope it happens tho bcus i dont want to go to school.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

thinking about clara telling 12 he made courtney feel not special and 12 at the end of the lie of the land telling bill “because in amongst seven billion, theres someone like you” and bill looking like

and 11 telling rita in the god complex "offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they’ll take it. offer someone all of time and space and they’ll take that too. which is why you shouldnt” in that fucking self-flagellating but also proud way they do and rita says “i dont know what youre talking about but whatever it is, i have a feeling you just did it again” because they did

they know they know they know what they do and clara didnt have to tell them theyve been doing this long enough they know. and they dont like it but theyre not gonna stop doing it either which must be Great for the self-worth feelings. they have a job to do and they cant stop doing it but they also cant do it alone but also anyone they take with them will most likely get hurt or die

this is nothing new but it’s just. im thinking about the way they do it. the way they absolutely know the effect they have on people. “you make people want to impress you. you make it so they dont want to let you down”

how casually 12 throws out that line, so genuine, i 100% believe it feels true when they say stuff like that, but also bill just had a Bad 6 months. he didnt have to say this. bill asked why he puts up with humans he could say something nice about humanity as a whole, but he doesnt, he singles her out, “i put up with the rest of them because sometimes theres someone like you”. it’s sweet and i dont think it’s a lie and i dont even think it’s a conscious manipulation but like

it’s just like, a really good way to keep people with you when you make them feel like theyre at the centre of the universe like that. the universe revolves around the doctor and when youre in the eye of the storm with them youre so special. you know more than regular people, you get to know all the secrets of the universe, you get to know about aliens, you get to play hero along with them!

ROSE: I can't tell her. I can't even begin. She's never going to forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good? DOCTOR: Middling. ROSE: You're so useless. DOCTOR: Well, if it's this much trouble, are you going to stay here now? ROSE: I don't know. I can't do that to her again, though. DOCTOR: Well, she's not coming with us. ROSE: No chance. DOCTOR: I don't do families. [...] ROSE: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap. Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist.

being the object of the doctor’s affection is i think probably a bit of a horrifying experience and not a position you really want to be in, but as long as youre still in that Comments About How Theyre Putting Up With All Of Humanity Because They Like You stage and havent yet reached the Tearing The Sky Apart For You stage, it probably feels really good (do i look susceptible to companion syndrome in this post hkfjghj)

and like i said it’s not that they dont actually love their companions. of course they do. it’s just that if youre terrified of being abandoned, making people feel special like this is a good way to make them not leave you

and i think 13 probably did her best not to do this again. she didnt invite them along to new adventures at the end of 11x1. she initiates goodbyes i think three times (”ive stayed too long, i should get back to finding my tardis”, “im almost gonna miss you”, “guess we’re done, nice having you aboard”) before the fam ask to come with her

and sure she plays the kicked puppy a bit in 11x4 but she waits for yaz to invite her, shes relatively passive, actually for the doctor shes incredibly passive. and she enjoys letting them into the tardis in 11x2, but she doesnt tease really secrets and wonders if they come travel with her. she doesnt really introduce them to the tardis, she doesnt say what the name means, she doesnt let them touch anything, nobody says “it’s bigger on the inside”, she doesnt invite them to all of time and space. she doesnt suggest it could be theirs to see. i dont think she ever does. just what the fam got to see accidentally was already enough to convince them.

i really need to rewatch so i might be wrong about this, but i dont think she ever makes them feel special the same way the doctor did with companions before. she makes them feel special like a tour guide maybe, with her little points and stars system, and calling them best friends, small mundane ways that dont show off her age or history or influence. i dont think she ever suggests theyre more important than other people. i think she emphasises her love for humans as a whole. i think thats the impression they get from her. i think thats what they would say if you asked them about her. “yeah she loves humanity. me? yeah she probably likes me, we’re friends”

she never puts them in a position where theyre the only one who can save the day/world/planet/universe. she always puts herself between them and the problem. she always goes ‘no im the doctor, thats my job’. she takes that responsibility so they dont have to. they take it! when they feel like theyre forced to! when the doctor’s gone in 12x2 or 12x10, they take that responsibility for sure. i think they want to, not just yaz but especially yaz. but they feel unprepared. the doctor hasnt prepared them for this bc she doesnt want them in that position bc in that position they die.

and clearly this has not been ideal. this has not led to an ideal doctor-companion dynamic, we’ve seen how this has hurt 13 as well as especially i think yaz and ryan deeply. but the strategy has been succesful. she lost her last two companions bc she didnt get between them and the problem. with bill literally, with clara metaphorically. (going back even further this might also be the case for amy and donna and rose. she let them into positions she should have been in taking decisions she should have taken)

and however badly things have gone for 13, the strategies of Get Between Them And The Problem, and Be The Doctor Dont Let Them Do It, have WORKED. she GOT THEM HOME. if yaz doesnt die, and im willing to bet money she doesnt, she got them all home safe and sound

14′s relationship with their companions will probably be a response to what went wrong in this round and it will have its own pitfalls that 15 then gets to fix but theyre trying, theyre learning. one step forward two steps back i guess. a fun little tango with death

[ghiblicottage]

..

[marshmallowprotection]

Ok ~spoilers~ for sevens route

So i know that rika is the reason Sev is with the agency and had to leave his brother but like…. How? How did Rika get him into the agency? As far as I know she was part of a “normal” family (despite horrific abuse and trauma :D) Did she, like, participate in human trafficking (despite it being consensual on sevens part)? How did this random woman get in touch with this secret government spy agency and go - hey! I know the perfect kid for this! -

I cant ever recall that part being discussed in cannon, and if im wrong please let me know. Its been two years since ive started playing this game and i still cant figure it out!! What are your thoughts on this? From what i can tell she just said ✨poof✨ and Seven left

MAJOR SPOILERS! About Seven's induction into the Agency and the rest underneath the Read More.

Actually, a huge chunk of the information that you're looking for is within Another Story, Rika's Behind Story, and the Secret Endings. We  know how Seven got into the Secret Agency because it was revealed in a phone call with V that takes place during Saeran's After Ending. I was surprised since this was always one of those things that made me wonder what the real answer was. It wasn't Rika that got Seven into the agency. 

She was never near the agency unless we want to say it’s due to the proximity to V and the church. Because V says himself that the only reason he was able to encounter an agent was because one knew about his art and went to the same church as V and Rika. It's Jihyun who involved the situation that caused this to happen before it or not. I still think about this because he says “I thought these kinds of places only existed in the movies.” I always read that to imply that he imagined that the agency would be like the movies. 

I don’t know if he deeply understood the depth of what was going to happen to Saeyoung. He says that he knew that anything Saeyoung got into was going to be messy because it was a fight against Saejoong Choi. V thought that it was a possibility that the agency was a lesser of two evils. But, he doesn’t know how much Saeyoung has suffered, if we’re being honest. Saeyoung has told us all about some of his worst experiences. 

They shipped him to America for a while for studies, and then when he came back, he was shipped out into field missions that traumatized him. The whole reason he has so much HBC was a bribe after he spent three days thinking he was going to be killed in that warehouse. I know that he was put in near death experiences time and time again. Here’s the screenshots from that call if you want to see it. 

I have the RFA box now, and Seven’s got a diary piece inside of it. It also points out one of his missions where he has to dress up like a maid because “the target is weak for them” or something like that. Seven dresses up a lot for his work to do what has to be done. He enjoys dressing up in cosplay and it clearly gives him a lot of gender euphoria since he shares it so often to everyone being proud of himself, but he starts doing it for work because they tell him to do it. He’s very young, easy to believe, and knows how to play a part. 

Sometimes I wonder if he has dealt with a lot of awful people because he goes deep undercover during his missions. I try not to think about it because it hurts to think that Saeyoung has been abused and scarred even more than what he had to go through as a child. He laughs these traumatic things off like it’s nothing but there’s so much that he’s suffered because of the agency. It’s hard to watch and listen to when you hear Saeyoung express these things. 

He won’t let anyone know how deeply he’s been hurt because he wants us to be taken care of first. He wants Saeran to be taken care of. He wants everyone to be taken care of before he even considers himself and that’s just a canon theme in his life. 

So, yeah, unfortunately, Saeyoung Choi has been put through the wringer time and time again. V got him the contact for the agency. 

[chiliiscereal]

I hate you

Daryl’s adopted daughter

Chapter 1

Summary: Diana is a girl on the run in the apocalypse. Her past chases her no matter where she goes. One day, by chance, she meets Daryl Dixon. Thinking she’s a walker, he shoots her and brings her back to their camp. Shane strikes a deal with her: she has to stay for two weeks before she can decide if she wants to stay. But Diana is determined to keep her past in the past, and never make the same mistake again

Season 1 - I’m not sure yet

—————

Diana sat in a circle with her family. Blood dripped down her neck from her lips.

Everything was red.

 Red

       Red

 Red

How could everything have gone so wrong so quickly?

Her eyes never left the blond man she once knew. She watched him as her fury and fear grew louder and louder, echoing off her skull.

That was, until Negan stepped out of the van. He walked about the circle, until his eyes landed on her.

"Fancy seein' you again, Darlin'."

                               ————————

    Rick stumbled into the street, a hospital gown draping his skin. He knew there was something wrong. There was something off. Maybe it was intuition...

  Or maybe it was the woman, chopped in half, chomping her teeth to get at his ankles.

    He rubbed his eyes, the sun glaring right into his vision. It had been a week and a half since the start, and a day since his IV ran dry. It had been even longer since he last saw the sun.

   Where was everyone?

 Why hadn't he waken up to nurses and doctors?

  Or his family's familiar faces?

  He spotted bodies. Bodies walking. Maybe three.

  He couldn't understand... he couldn't understand any of it...

  The light off a gun reflected into his eyes. He blocked it and moved to see where it was coming from.

  The revolver was placed in the holster on the side of a walker. The man... or whatever he was now... shuffled toward Rick.

 He was deathly pale.

  "Sir," Rick's voice cracked, "sir, are you okay?" He held his hand out, trying to make it a comforting gesture to someone possibly in need.

  Edging closer, the man stared at him with hungry dead eyes. His clothes were torn and draped off his skinny frame, his eyes laid sunken in his face.

   "Sir?" He asked again, stumbling back.

   The man growled and advanced further.

   "Are you-?"

   With a blur, the man was down.

  Nearly tripping over his own feet, Rick let out a horrified gasp.

  On the ground was a little girl, around Carl's age, placing her knife in the mans forehead. Her light blond hair, tucked under her baseball cap, clung to her dirty face. The crunch echoed in Ricks head, reverberating off his skull.

 That was the first walker he had ever seen killed.

  She quickly wiped her knife on the walkers shirt and snatched his revolver. She opened the back to check how much ammo was left. Satisfied, she clicked it shut and began patting the double dead man down.

  "W-why did you do that?" Rick found his voice again.

  She leaped back, her bright blue eyes finding his.

   Quickly, she pulled herself up and began to dash away. If Rick hadn't lunged out and caught the back of her shirt she would have disappeared as soon as she apparated into his line of sight.

  "No. You can't leave yet." He spun her around to face him. It was evident how terrified she was. Especially with her eyes as wide as dinner plates and hands clawing at his arm. "Why did you kill that man?"

  She glared at him and wriggled harder. "Man?" She gasped, "that... that wasn't a man!" Her hands fought to unclamp Ricks grip. "That's a Walker! He would have eaten you if I hadn't stopped him!" She grunted with effort. "Didn't even see you. You already look dead."

  "What do you mean by dead?" Rick questioned, holding tighter.

  "Gone. Deceased. vamosed. Perished." With each word she struggled. "Now let me go!"

  Rick was about to question again, when he felt the stitches on his side rip. With a grunt, he let her go and fell to the ground. His hand cupped his side.

  "Please.." he stopped to breathe heavily as the girl watched him warily. "I don't know what's happening. I woke up in the- in the hospital." He glanced down at his side to eye the bleeding. "The sun will be setting soon... and I need help."

The girl glanced at the lowering sun. Tapping her foot, she glowered at the ground. "How can I trust you." It wasn't a question. It was as if she was challenging him to be wrong.

Rick attempted to stand, only to find himself back in the ground. "I was a cop. My job was to protect the people. ALL people. And I like to think I did a good job of that."

She stuck the revolver in her holster (which was clearly stolen based on how big it was). "Prove it."

"I don't have my badge or my hat. That's at my house. But I'm officer Rick Grimes. I've been on the force for seven years. My partner was Shane Walsh. I was in my car when we got a call about a run away car. I was shot in action and hospitalized." His eyes seemed to beg her to help him.

Diana tried to fight the raging war in her head.

She knew better.

She knew to trust no one.

Her father and mother both betrayed her trust.

Why trust again?

But... she could tell when people were lying. All people have tells. Her fathers tell was him avoiding eye contact. He always looked at the ground. For her mother, she always played with her wedding ring.

But this Cop... sheriff... man... was not lying.

He looked her dead in the eye.

"Fine. Come with me." She hadn't known that she was gripping her new revolver until she released it. "I have a place in the sewers. I know... in most movies that's where walkers would be. But how would someone get down there in the first place? You'd have to move the lid." She walked over to Rick and slung his arm over her shoulder to help him stand in any way. "And most walkers," she grunted "are pretty stupid."

"Thank you...for helping me." Rick stated gratefully.

"I have some house rules, you know."

"Name them." He said confidently as they shuffled down the street.

"One: you're gone when you can walk."

"You don't want someone to watch your back?" Rick was surprised. Usually, kids jumped at the chance for safety. The ones he has worked with in cases of violence had immediately decided he was trustworthy.

"the worlds changed. You can't trust people." He noted the grim expression on her face. He wanted to ask why, but he figured it was better to stay silent.

"I'd argue about that, but I'll hear out your other rules." He wrapped his arm around his side again, fingering the broken stitches.

"Two: you do as I say or you die."

"Yes ma'am."

Rick couldn't help but like her spunk. She was serious, but it wasn't much of a threat coming from an eleven year old girl.

"3: ..." she started only to trail off.

"...3?"

She cleared her throat and resituated Ricks arm. "You repay my kindness if we ever cross paths again. I don't care how."

"Was already planning on it." He grinned. He could feel the conversation beginning to die, so he started it back up again. "What's your name, kid?"

She hesitated, eyes staying on the road. "Diana." She spoke softly. "My mother named me after the Roman goddess of the night."

Rick smiled. "Pretty name."

Diana's thoughts drifted to her mother. Her mother with her honey brown hair and warm chocolate eyes. She stopped her thoughts there. "Well... what about you, officer friendly? You got a name?"

Rick laughed. "My names Rick Grimes. I ain't named after the moon goddess, but I think it has a nice ring to it. Don't you?"

She forced down a smile. "Pretty name."

He chuckled. "Well, Diana, I am glad I ran into you."

~~~~~

They arrived at the sewer lid.

"Here we are. I've been camped out here since early yesterday morning." She slipped under Ricks arm and got down to lift the lid. With a couple tries, and an offer from Rick for assistance, she lifted the lid.

She stood up and dusted off her hands. "I'll go down first and scope out the area. Need to make sure it's still clear. Then I'll help you down."

She began her descent.

Rick watched the top of her light haired head fade into the darkness with each step. He briefly thought she would try and make a run for it. Escape through the sewers.

He immediately dismissed it. Why would she waste daylight by helping him? The sound of her footsteps hitting the water at the bottom and echoing as she walked down the tunnels set him on edge.

Especially when they began to fade.

He sat patiently for over ten minutes, watching the sunlight tick by. He looked down into the darkness, listening for any sound. There was nothing... not even a whisper.

Maybe she did leave.

"Alright, Sheriff, get down here! It's clear!" Her voice reverberated loudly from the tunnels so suddenly, that Rick stumbled back.

"I don't have all day! Unless you wanted to be walker chow, get down here!"

Rick chuckled as he began to shuffle his way down the tunnel.

"Any day now, Deputy Fossil!" She shouted.

"Hold your horses, kid." He slowly lowered himself into the dark. He looked down to see where his feet were going to land, spotting the flashlight that Diana held. Her light hazel eyes reflected impatience.

"Nice place." He said, clearly biting back his truth.

"Don't be fake." She said as she kicked at the water. "It smells like a pig ate dirty gym socks, farted, and died."

"I was trying to spare your feelings."

"Don't bother. I'm leaving this place as soon as you're ready."

Rick finally landed on the bottom of the sewer. "You got a place you're headed to?"

Diana shook her head. "No. Just a place I never want to see again."

Rick stopped moving to look at her. "Troubled home life?"

She thought about it and shrugged. "I guess you could call it troubled home life. It was home once. But this apocalypse changes people."

"I'm sorry kid."

"Don't be. That's just life."

Rick opened his mouth to say more, but Diana beat him to it.  

  "Alright, lets move." She motioned for him to follow.

           The place she had holed up in was dryer than most spaces. There were a couple of dirty blankets placed on the ground and a first aid kit. Some batteries were sprinkled on top.

     "You can sit there. I can stitch you back up." Diana pointed at the wall. Their part of the sewer was a dead end so they wouldn't be surprised.

     "Thank you."

Diana hadn't stitched wounds before, but she did well enough.

 Rick tried starting a conversation again but she told him she needed silence to focus.

                                         ~~~~

    "Are you sure you want to travel by yourself?"

  Diana nodded as she packed her things. "Very sure. You're nice and all, but you don't want to travel with me."

 The Georgia sun had risen already and they both were preparing for departure in the street

   "Do you have any family to find?" Rick questioned.

"I already know where they are. And they don't want me either." The girl looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"If we ever meet again, you better give me more details." Rick narrowed his eyes and pointed at her. "I deserve to know more about the little girl who saved me."

"Once a cop always a cop I guess." Diana said slyly. She looked back at him. "What about you? Any family?"

 She eyed a walker down the street but decided it was too far away to pursue.

"I got a son and a wife. My son's your age actually. 11." Rick looked through the neighborhoods. "I don't know where they are, but I'll protect them. They need me."

Diana squinted in the direction he was looking at, seeing nothing. "You'll find them, chief." She patted his shoulder, having to reach up very high.

"It was nice to meet you, Diana." Rick said, a little sad that they were parting. Possibly that he would no longer have company. Maybe that he didn't have enough time to get to know her well. "I don't know if I'll see you again, but you helped me without anything to gain."

Diana scoffed. "I'm not a good kid."

"You're right."

Diana looked up, confused.

"You're one of the best."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Go. You have people to find."

"From the looks of thangs, so do you."

"I don't have people."

"You'll find them. Just a matter of where and when." He stuck his hand out for her to shake.

She placed a brown bag in his hand instead. "It's for the road. There's batteries, water, a flashlight, food, bandages, antibiotics, and one more thing..." she unbuckled her holster and handed it to him, along with the revolver. "You need these more than I do."

Rick tried to push it back to the little girl. "No I can't take this. You need it."

"No, you do. You're gonna help people, Rick. You're gonna help so many. You gotta find your people." She pushed it back to him. "I'm gonna be fine. I spotted a gun down the road that I'm gonna check out later."

Rick gave her a solemn look before accepting it. "If you can, head to Atlanta. The CDC is near there and there's bound to be survivors."

"I don't need survivors."she rolled her eyes.

"They may need you, kid. Ever think about that?"

She stayed silent for a moment. "Stay safe, sherif fun sponge." She shook his hand, even though he hadn't offered it yet. "I hope we meet again."

"We will." He smiled. "I don't know how or when, but we will. I have a debt to pay."

She wanted to return the smile but couldn't. "I hope you find them."

"You to."

With that, they went separate ways.

Next fifty chapters posted on noandisaidno on wattpad!

[tennessoui]

Pleaseeee do 43 or 46. I love your work btw

(insert months late panicked noises about how I thought 45 was 'falling in love with best friend's partner' and so wrote hold me fast for it, but actually 43 is 'falling in love with best friend's partner' very whoops very my b)

so i did 43 again anyway, but in a modern au and where the couple is actually in love (but it is an obikin happy ending because kit did write it)

(wife is unnamed the entire time so no character bashing it could literally be anyone ive been calling her rebecca in my head lmao)

43. Falling In Love With Best Friend's Partner (2.7k.......)

Obi-Wan’s kettle goes off with a whistle right as there’s a fierce banging on the door. He almost drops his favorite mug in surprise, which puts him in a bad mood from the get-go. But for the love of Christ, who would come call at his house at nine at night? It’s more than rude; it’s downright indecent.

He stalks through the house until he can unlock the door to give the person on his porch a piece of his mind, but then he sees who it is.

It’s Anakin, and he’s crying.

If there’s anything that can make Obi-Wan quiet his temper on a normal day, it’s Anakin Skywalker. A distressed Anakin Skywalker brings out every ounce of his compassion.

“Anakin?” He asks immediately, stepping forward to touch the man on his arm gently and guide him inside. He doesn’t even have to suppress a sigh when Anakin doesn’t remember to toe off his shoes in the entry way--that’s how worried he is at Anakin’s tears and the way they only increase in frequency and sound when Obi-Wan moves his hand to his back and pushes him further into his house, all the way to the dining table where he urges him to sit down.

Anakin still hasn’t said anything resembling actual words yet, so Obi-Wan goes to the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. It’s either that or give into the temptation to thumb the tear tracks off of his cheeks and that’s a little more revealing than Obi-Wan likes.

He’s not that brave, for one.

For another, Anakin is a married man. A man married to one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends, a previous grad student turned co-author of at least seven publications, with more on the way. He can’t risk tenderly wiping away her husband’s tears because Obi-Wan Kenobi has been at least a little in love with him since they were introduced four years ago, when he’d swanned up to him holding two champagne glasses in one hand and stuck out the other to shake. “My wife talks about you nonstop, Professor,” he’d said. “I used to be so jealous until I sat in on one of your lectures when I was still in school. Made sense then.”

Obi-Wan had not known what to do with that, but had taken the proffered champagne glass and assured this strange man he had nothing to worry about.

After all, Obi-Wan wasn’t the sort of man to chase after former students or people in marriages.

Over the next few years, however, it became quite clear to him that there was a big addendum needed in his moral code: people in marriages to former students drew his eyes apparently the way no one else has ever managed to in his life.

Or perhaps it was just Anakin. Perhaps it’s always been just Anakin.

Coming to terms with the shameful, quiet love he carried for a man who flirts like it’s second nature and always has a warm touch or word to bestow on Obi-Wan had been difficult, to say the least.

Anakin’s wife had been one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends. His inconvenient and persistent feelings for Anakin had turned her into one thing only: his wife. They could not be friends when Obi-Wan spends half his nights wondering what it would be like to sleep with his arms around her husband. They could not be friends when the last dozen times the married couple had invited him over for dinner, he had paid more attention to her husband than to the food or to the other topics of conversation or to her.

And she has to know. She has to know why their latest paper has taken eight months to write. She has to have seen the way Obi-Wan perks up so obviously when Anakin brings his wife her lunch, the way he has to turn away from their chaste kisses, the way he listens keenly to any information she gives him on her husband, the way he had excused himself from the room when he heard her tell another colleague that they were trying for children.

In academia, you learn fairly quickly that it is useless to resent someone for having what you do not. It seems that Obi-Wan has to learn this lesson all over again when it comes to people. It’s hard. It’s selfish. He hates that he loves Anakin. He hates that he loves Anakin the way he does, that it’s been four years and he still loves him, that not even his happy marriage, his love for his wife, the fact that his wife is Obi-Wan’s friend, can change it.

Anakin considers them friends now, which is so much worse and yet still more than a pathetic old man like Obi-Wan deserves. Worse, because when Obi-Wan had started rejecting dinners at the Skywalker household, Anakin had pushed back with worry. When he’d noticed that Obi-Wan’s lunch most often consisted of whatever cold cut sandwich was on sale at the gas station next to campus, he’d started bringing Obi-Wan a lunch along with his wife. When Obi-Wan had stopped responding to his texts, he showed up to drag him to a night out.

Worse, because being Anakin’s friend is nothing like being his husband, and the differences make him ache as much as the acts of kindness make him want to weep.

It’s still more than Obi-Wan deserves. He knows that intimately, the way he knows that nothing can ever happen between the two of them because Anakin loves his wife. And his wife--

“She cheated on me,” Anakin gets out between uneven breaths.

Obi-Wan promptly drops his favorite mug and watches it shatter on the floor.

“Oh!” Anakin exclaims at the loud noise, peeking around the corner, and looking like he’s about to offer to help. Obi-Wan shoos him out of the kitchen, and grabs the remaining mug of tea to follow him. The mess can wait for a later time.

“What did you say?” he asks carefully, nudging the mug over to Anakin, who wraps his hands around it.

Anakin blinks up at him wetly. “Don’t make me say it again.”

Obi-Wan drags his chair closer and dares to lay a hand over Anakin’s arm, watching his face for any negative reaction. Anakin just looks at it though, as if he can’t even comprehend it.

“Please, tell me what happened,” he entreats softly.

Anakin blinks and takes a sip of the tea. It’s chamomile, which is the only tea blend Obi-Wan knows Anakin likes.

“I, um.” Anakin clears his throat and reaches up to wipe at his eyes. Obi-Wan thinks his breath leaves his body for a second when he sees the slighter lighter ring of skin around Anakin’s fourth finger. He never thought he’d see what that sliver of skin looks like.

“I came back early from a work trip, cause. Um. Cause we’ve been having problems,” he starts with a quick side glance at Obi-Wan. “Just some fighting. Going to bed angry. I guess stuff you’re never supposed to do.”

Obi-Wan tries to arrange his face in an expression meant to convey that he definitely knows what stuff one is supposed to do in a marriage.

“So I thought I could, you know. Surprise her. But when I got in, there was someone else in the house. In our bed, Obi-Wan, she fucked someone else in our bed. I--” Anakin starts crying dropping his head into his hands and dislodging Obi-Wan’s arm completely.

“Oh,” Obi-Wan murmurs, at a loss for what to say. He settles for kneeling down next to Anakin and rubbing his knee. This is platonic.This is fine. This isn’t taking advantage of Anakin in this state.

Obi-Wan has absolutely no desire to take advantage of Anakin in this state, not when he’s so hurt and sad and in need of comfort. Obi-Wan just wants to provide him with comfort, but it feels like a grievous violation to touch Anakin like this willingly. It breaks one of his most cardinal rules.

But it turns out he’d break a lot of rules for Anakin, apparently.

Especially when Anakin responds so well to his touch, practically throwing himself out of his own chair and into Obi-Wan’s arms, tea forgotten on the table.

“How am I supposed to go back there?” He sobs into Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I thought...we were supposed to raise kids in that house and she...she’s been...she’s been cheating on me in our bed--”

Obi-Wan tentatively strokes through his hair, adding pressure when Anakin reacts positively. He hates seeing him like this, so torn up and aching. He’d loved his wife, it’s so clear to see.

But Anakin has always struck Obi-Wan as the sort of person to put loyalty over everything else. For his wife to break his trust so suddenly and quickly must spell the death of his love for her. That must be what Obi-Wan is witnessing now, with Anakin, sans wedding ring, sobbing into his arms like this. This must be how Anakin’s love dies.

“I’m so sorry, Anakin,” he murmurs into the man’s temple, pressing his nose there at his hairline and inhaling as softly as he can. He’s disgusted with himself. He can’t help himself. He--

“She said she loved him,” Anakin sniffles, seemingly unaware of anything but his own pain. Obi-Wan gathers him closer at these words and rubs at his back, offering silent comfort. To have Anakin close like this is agony, but to be an appropriate distance away from him as he fell apart would also be agony of a different sort.

And if the last four years have proven anything, Obi-Wan will choose the agony that causes Anakin any modicum of happiness he can give him.

“She said--” here Anakin pauses and takes several deep breaths against the cotton of Obi-Wan’s now damp sleepshirt. “She said she didn’t when they started, but then I--I didn’t notice and it--she said it just happened, but--”

He breaks off and freezes in Obi-Wan’s arms quite suddenly. Obi-Wan stills his own hands in response. “But?” he asks, barely more than an exhale.

“But she said she couldn’t feel sorry about it,” Anakin whispers back, pulling away so that he can look at Obi-Wan’s face.

Obi-Wan stares at him, uncomprehending. Anakin’s wife is the unapologetic sort of woman, yes, but to be caught cheating on her husband and then refuse to apologize for the betrayal? That’s something else entirely. “What?” he stutters out in a completely unflattering way.

Anakin’s eyes glisten, but he purses his lips and flexes his jaw before he speaks again. “She said she couldn’t feel sorry about falling in love with someone else because it’s quite clear I’ve done the same thing. And--and she may have physically cheated on me first, but I’ve...I’ve been emotionally unfaithful to her for years now.”

Obi-Wan blinks quite a bit and very fast, tightening his hold on Anakin before pulling away just as quickly. “That’s absurd,” he spits out, trying to calm his rushing heartbeat. “Anakin, you’re the most loyal person I know. You would never--”

“She was right,” Anakin cuts him off, breaking eye contact with him to look over his shoulder and then down at...at his lips. “I didn’t even realize she was right until she said it, but. But I’ve been in love with someone else for three years of my five year marriage. I--I’m not who we thought I was.”

And his eyes well up with tears again and Obi-Wan isn’t strong enough this time from stopping himself from reaching out and brushing one of his tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“Anakin, you’re not…” thinking straight, serious, in your right mind, in love with anyone but your wife. “You’re hurting, Anakin,” he settles on saying. “You need to...sleep. To rest.”

You need to stop saying things that will break my heart in a few days when you realize you don’t actually mean them.

But Anakin has always been stubborn, especially when it comes to Obi-Wan’s demands. “Obi-Wan,” he insists, shoving his face forward so that their heads connect with a thump. “Obi-Wan, it’s you. It’s been you. For. For longer than I knew. For three years at least. Maybe longer. It should have been you from the beginning. When--”

“Anakin, please,” he finds himself begging, scrambling up and off the floor and away from this troublesome man. “Do not say anything you cannot take back. You are in distress, you’re not thinking clearly.”

Anakin follows him to his feet. “I need to say this,” he says, voice breaking. “Please, Obi-Wan. Let me say this.”

Obi-Wan has never known how to say no to Anakin. He closes his mouth instead.

“Before we even started dating, that’s when I sat in on your lecture. When we were seniors. I just wanted to see. Wanted to know why she liked you so much, measure up my competition. But then I liked you, more than I’ve ever liked a guy before. And it only got worse after I met you again, at that party, I don’t know if you remember, but. The days after, I drove my wife insane asking questions about you and your work and your interests and your hobbies, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

“You were just...you were so amazing. But I loved her so much I didn’t even notice I had any love left in my heart to give to anyone else, but then there you were. There you were and every time I saw you it was like...coming up for air. Like I was living someone else’s life and then sometimes I just got to be myself and it was only ever when you were around and--I didn’t know it was love until my wife told me tonight that she fucked another man because she couldn’t stand that I fell in love with one first, and I knew immediately who she was talking about. It was you. It’s...Obi-Wan, it’s always been you.”

Anakin closes the distance between them slowly, as if he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to run. Obi-Wan does consider it, he won’t lie, but he stands stock still as if frozen to the ground. Anakin reaches up gently and wipes at one of his tears. Obi-Wan hadn’t even realized he started crying.

“Please don’t cry,” Anakin whispers through his tears. “I understand if you--if you don’t feel the same way, but I couldn’t be quiet about it once I realized. I don’t know how to love quietly.”

Obi-Wan does. Obi-Wan’s spent four years loving Anakin quietly, and now he doesn’t have any words left in him to love him out loud.

Anakin’s hand falls away from his face at his continued silence and he looks, if possible, more heartbroken. “I...I understand,” he murmurs. “You don’t feel the way I do. I--yes. I get it. I...deserve it.”

At this, Obi-Wan has to say something because it’s been one of the tenets of his world for years now that Anakin Skywalker deserves all the love there is in the entire universe. “No,” he says roughly, dragging the words kicking and screaming from the pit of his stomach. “It’s not that. It’s--”

Anakin looks at him with wide, wet, blue eyes.

“It’s that if you...if I say it and then...tomorrow you decide you don’t mean it...darling you have to know there would be no recovering from that, for me. I’ve been so obvious.”

Anakin blinks as the words register in his brain, and Obi-Wan can tell the exact moment they do because he inches closer and clutches tightly onto his shirt. “You’ve not been obvious at all,” he murmurs, eyes still shining, even as he directs his entire attention to his lips.

“What would I need to do?” Obi-Wan breathes, aching to wrap his arms around his waist and terrified that doing so will startle Anakin away from him. “What would I need to do for you to understand how much I...how much I’ve loved you for all these years?”

“Kiss me,” Anakin whispers, leaning down as if drawn by some magnetic pull.

Obi-Wan knows he will hate himself in the morning for giving in when Anakin is so obviously grief-stricken and looking for no-strings-attached physical comfort. And yet, he meets him halfway anyway.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 6 Shakespeare Plays

Recently, I asked if anyone had any suggestions for lists they’d like to see me do, either kink-related or non-kink related. I didn’t get too much feedback, but one person who DID give me feedback (not sure who, they were anonymous) and suggested one option could be a list of my favorite Shakespeare plays. I guess that makes sense, since I DO bring up Shakespeare quite a lot on my page. I’m a big fan of Shakespeare, and I’ve actually performed in several Shakespearean plays, so it seems only fair to give a rundown of some of my favorites.

They keyword here is SOME. I decided to go with a Top 6 for this one, for two reasons. First of all, that was the number I did when I talked about my favorite musicals. Second of all, it’s just an easy number to fall on, since starting around number seven my favorites get kerbobbled.They all have their points of interests and odd cons, and some of them I’ve come to like more as time has gone on, while others I like less. My Top 5, however, have remained pretty darn consistent for years. Before I get into said Top 6, I do want to give a rundown of some of the plays I love that AREN’T featured here. Consider all of these the Honorable Mentions: The Merchant of Venice, Romeo & Juliet, King Lear, Henry IV (Parts 1 & 2), Julius Caesar, Much Ado About Nothing, As You Like It, and The Winter’s Tale. And now, for the Top 6!

6. The Tempest.

The Tempest is a story that starts off in a seemingly obvious place, then takes a turn you don’t expect. The tale begins when a ship carrying a whole family of Italian nobles crashes upon a seemingly deserted island in the midst of a storm. It is revealed that the cause of the storm is the wizard, Prospero: Prospero was betrayed and usurped by his family - the very nobles in question - and at first, it seems like he plans to take revenge on them all with them trapped on the island to which he has retreated in exile. However, as the show goes on, it turns out this isn’t what Prospero has in mind: he starts off the show as a slightly unlikeable character, being very arrogant and dictatorial, but as the play continues, a kinder, gentler side to him comes more and more into the foreground. We eventually realize he’s not out for simple revenge, but rather, he wants to try and set the balance straight, so to speak: throughout the play, characters are rewarded or punished, and Prospero ultimately acts as their judge. The ones who are punished or rewarded are not always the ones we’d expect, at the start, to earn those fates. In a way, this play is sort of an anti-revenge play; Prospero does NOT revenge himself upon his family, and instead puts aside old grudges and reconnects with people. A first time watcher wouldn’t guess this is the direction the play is going, and it’s this unexpected turn in the plot that makes the Tempest so particularly unique. 5. Othello.

“Othello” is a story of caution and temperance. It’s a cautionary tale of what could happen if one puts their trust in the wrong people, or if one acts too rashly without great thought…or both, as they are the chief faults of our titular main character. At the start of the story, Othello is effectively a man who has it all: he’s a respected soldier, has a beautiful wife who loves him, and has many dear friends to count on. This is all despite his background as a Moor, which leads to some discrimination against him; he is, in short, a figure to be greatly admired. Unfortunately, his life begins to fall apart thanks to machinations of our villain, the sinister Iago. Iago is one of Shakespeare’s greatest and most iconic antagonists: a sociopathic manipulator whose reasons for his villainy are as petty as his wickedness is grand. Iago dupes EVERYBODY in this story, and I mean EVERYBODY: he’s one of those people who an put on a front that makes him seem trustworthy and friendly, but underneath it he’s an absolute monster. Iago plays everyone in the play like chess pieces against Othello, just to ruin his life, and in the course of this ruins countless others…and even though Iago is eventually found out, by the time he’s caught, the damage has already been done, and the results are truly tragic. In the words of an unrelated poem: “Unto an evil counselor, close heart and ear and eye.”

4. Richard III.

In some ways, Richard III is actually similar to Othello, but with one key difference: this time, the villain is the main character. The titular figure of Richard - one of England’s more…CONTROVERSIAL rulers, to say the least - is depicted as a villain in a similar vein to Iago. He’s a manipulative creature who plays just about every character in the story, and even the audience, to a degree, as he goes about his wicked ways of working. However, in this case, Richard is not the antagonist, but a classic example of a Villain Protagonist: a case where the bad guy of the story is also the one we follow, and who has the most dynamic arc of any character. At first, Richard seems like a sympathetic scoundrel; yes, he’s evil, but we understand his reasons for what he does and even feel sorry for him. As the story goes on, however, we see more and more just what a monster this wicked king is, and his ultimate undoing is the result of his many sins coming back to bite him. You reap what you sow, as they say. In short, this is a story that brings the audience into the very mind and heart of evil, and that’s a powerful concept, indeed.

3. Hamlet.

Alongside “Romeo & Juliet,” this is arguably Shakespeare’s most famous play, and it’s not an easy one to set in stone as to what it truly is. On the surface, Hamlet is seemingly a fairly straightforward story of revenge, but it’s also a story of madness, mortal philosophy, betrayal, chaos, and more. While ultimately a tragic piece, it has a surprisingly wonderful sense of humor, something I don’t think a lot of people pick up on at first glance. The story focuses on Prince Hamlet, who learns from his father’s ghost that said father was murdered by his uncle, the current king, Claudius. Hamlet thus begins trying to plot a way to kill the King, but various things keep sidetracking his schemes. Throughout the play, characters call Hamlet’s sanity into question; it’s unclear, in the text, if he’s truly insane or just “crazy like a fox.” Many people believe it might be a bit of both: that he might be mad, but he doesn’t KNOW it, and is able to play up his madness to throw people off the scent. Whether he’s mentally deranged or not, he’s certainly an emotional wreck, and it’s hard to blame him given the amount of stress he goes through in this story. Hamlet is a classic, bitter tale with many themes that remains lauded for the best reasons. The only question about its placement here is why it isn’t even higher.

2. A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Another one of Shakespeare’s most fantastical plays, and that’s a big part of why I like it. I just love the fantasy of it…and it’s quite funny, to boot! While Hamlet certainly has a good sense of humor, this is the only proper comedy of my Top 5; the rest are classified as either tragedies or histories. The play is essentially a collection of subplots, all of which collide at different points throughout the piece, and all of which involve love in some way, shape, or form. A duke and duchess have just been married; a love triangle is going on between a bunch of young humans; a team of thespians are preparing to put on a play (itself a self-parody of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet), and - in the middle of all these human dilemmas - the King and Queen of the Fairies (Oberon and Titania, respectively) are having a sort of lover’s feud. It’s the feuding fairies who cause most of the trouble in the play, mostly courtesy of Oberon’s jester, Puck - one of the greatest tricksters in all of literature. Alongside Puck, probably the most well-known character in the play is Bottom - one of the aforementioned thespians, who is arguably the single most comical character in this overall comedic play (so that’s saying a lot). These two are usually considered the starring roles, so to speak, but really, every part in this play is a lot of fun. Amidst all these darker subjects, some levity in fairyland definitely has its place.

1. The Scottish Play.

Nope. I’m still not saying the title. I’m a little more superstitious nowadays. XD In my opinion, this is the closest Shakespeare ever came to writing a horror story. And much like Richard III, it is a story with a classic Villain Protagonist as our leading role. However, unlike Richard, MacB (no, I’m not calling him or his bride, Lady M, by name, either) is a much a more tragic and sympathetic antagonist. He starts off as a good man, with many noteworthy virtues…but as the story goes on, his paranoia and ambition drive him to more and more cruel acts, and steadily send him spiraling into insanity. Lady M follows a parallel course to her husband; she is ultimately the central antagonist, though it’s hard to call her any more of a villain than her husband…or any less, for that matter. She is the one who eggs MacB on in his endeavors at first, but as the play goes on, the guilt and madness strike her just as badly, if not worse. Throw in witches, ghosts, and a vast number of brutal murders, and you have one of Shakespeare’s single darkest and most harrowing plays. It is a story of fate, above all else, as the ones who try to hasten or defy fate become the bad guys, and the ones who simply go with the flow and work with what they have come out victorious. Its themes, characters, and overall tone make it the perfect Shakespearean story for me: equal parts fantastic and disturbingly realistic, it is, in my opinion, a masterpiece. Without a doubt, My Favorite Shakespeare Play.

[emo-and-confused]

Headcannons based on @cb28 ‘s “ceo of many hotels tommy and hotel receptionist tubbo” au art (includes dysfunctional sleepy bois) (awesamdad)

-techno, wilbur, and tommy are phil’s kids

-(the three kids are adopted, techno was adopted when he was five, wilbur was adopted when he was four, and tommy was adopted when he was seven)

-techno is older than wilbur by two years and wilbur is older than tommy by eight years

-phil is this rich businessman. techno is some powerful leader. wilbur is a famous songwriter.

-then tommy owns a hotel

-he's still like 16/17 but he owns and manages it

-techno is the oldest therefore favorite and heir to whatever money and property phil owns

-tommy is least favorite. phil ignored him.

-then one day phil just gave him money and said "stop being a disappointment" so he started his hotel at 15

tommy: i’m going to build a hotel in rage

-then best friend tubbo who works there and is nice to tommy

phil: oh, theseus, my son. come, i was just telling my companions about your ho- who is that?

tommy: this is tubbo.

tubbo: hello :)

-wilbur being the normal brother and treating him like a normal person and taking him and tubbo to hang out and be kids

wilbur: tommy, let’s go get ice cream

tommy: wilbur, ive got things to do, paper work and, and shippments and-

wilbur: tommy.

tommy:

wilbur: let’s go. bring tubbo.

-tommy feels like he has to prove something to phil

-he also feels like he might be able to earn attention from him. that if he works hard enough phil will be proud of him

-wilbur’s music is what makes phil pay attention to him, but when he was a kid phil said his music was never going to be a stable source of income and actively encouraged other future job choices. this only made wilbur more focused on his music

-both tommy and wilbur feel the need to prove themselves

-tommy meets sam when starting up his hotel, and immediately gets attached

-sam is basically his guide, even after building the hotel. sam saw the child and went “yeah he needs parental guidance” and continued to stay in contact with tommy

-tommy is the one who gives sam the creeper mask. because sam is always working on construction and stuff and he's always inhaling debris and tommy likes minecraft so he gives it to him. sam adores it and wears it all the time.

-tommy totally calls him sam nook

sam: hey tommy! just building your hotel. i do need some more things for construction though... could you ship them over to me?

tommy: y'know this reminds me of a game my brother made me play over the holidays...

sam: ... uh,,,, what?

tommy: animal crossing! that's it. you're totally tom nook.

sam: alright, tommy.

-[over emails]

]Mr. Danger Careful Innit,

Could you supply more building materials?

Sincerely, Sam Nook

]Mr. Samuel Nook,

sure.

Sincerely, Tommy

-sam gets a very official hand written contract (the same one as the lore)

-he gets it and just goes with it (there’s a more real contract but tommy values his handwritten one more)

-sam signing it and tommy cheering and immediately going to text phil

sam: and... there you go! signed. :)

tommy: really??? ... YES!!! LETS GO!!! (calls phil and tells him)

-then tommy hanging up and smiling, then looking back over to sam.

tommmy: (clears his throat) um. my apologies. that was very unprofessional. thank you very much, sam.

-tubbo is the receptionist for the main hotel in the chain, (the one tommy is constantly at) but he basically becomes sort of a manager

-tommy sends him off to do multiple jobs throughout the day, and tubbo does them with only little complaint

tubbo: you know i’m not room service right?

tommy: i don’t remember asking

tubbo, already holding the room order: this isn’t my job tho-

tommy: and yet here you are, doing the job

-tommy pays him more than everyone else though, but tubbo doesn’t know that because tommy won’t let him see the usual staff paycheck

-tubbo is half a year older but his parents are constantly away on buisness trips so he is often home alone and has to take care of himself

-tommy is not good with showing his affection, the only one in his family to do so was wilbur. phil just kind of threw money at him on holidays and ignored him the rest of the time, and while techno was a lot more attentive to him, he wasn’t the best at affection either

-when tommy started making money with the hotel, (how very successful hotel chain), to show tubbo he cared he just started offering to buy him things

tommy, upon finding out tubbo likes bees: you know i could buy you a bee sanctuary if you’d like?

tubbo: tommy no-

-tubbo teaches him that money isn’t the only form of showing you care. it’s a long process

tommy: so you’re saying i shouldn’t buy sam a private engineering lab for his birthday?

tubbo: i know for a fact sam wouldn’t know how to accept such a gift and that he’d rather you close the hotel for a day and take him to play laser tag

tommy: ...okay but what if i do that and buy him a private engineering lab?

tubbo:

-the dream team are bell hoppers.

-tommy gets hate for being that young and successful

-the dream team are like “stfu i'm proud to be working for a very successful 16 yo how dare you" and go off on every rich person who says something about tommy’s age

they're still streamers. they just don't tell tommy. (tommy totally knows tho, he’s a 16 year old kid who plays minecraft and animal crossing, ofc he knows they’re video game streamers)

dream: hey tommy-

tommy: yes? is there a reason you're barging into my office?

dream: .. is that... animal crossing music? are you playing on a switch?

tommy: no!! i'm signing very important and legal documents!!! if you have nothing to say, get out!!

dream, to sapnap and george: he’s totally playing animal crossing.

-tommy makes them greet people at the doors and carry peoples bags purely because they’re famous. they don’t know this though

-they don't think tommy knows. tommy and tubbo think it’s hilarious. tommy hints it all the time that he knows but they just think he's being a kid

-quackity is on sam’s building/contracting team

-even after the hotel is built, q comes in to "check up" on the building with sam. and they "make sure nothing is going wrong with the building"

-they really just want to make sure tommy is okay under so much pressure

-wilbur totally has tubbo’s schedule and knows when tubbo’s on break, he can usually be found with tommy in tommy’s office

-wilbur will just barge in and be like “okay let’s go, you need a break”

-one time wilbur came in while sam and quackity were there

wilbur, barging in: kay, tommy, tubbo, let’s-

sam, mid lecture with tommy: you can’t keep doing this!

quackity, also scolding: you need to take a break, man.

tubbo, who noticed wilbur come in: wil! tell tommy he needs to go to bed and sleep! he hasn’t slept in twenty seven hours!

tommy, from his desk, with his head in his hands and leaning over paper work: i’m being ganged up on.

-wilbur instantly likes sam and quackity, because they care for his little brother (he totally has a rivalry with them though, he was there first, and tommy’s actual brother)

-the main hotel in the chain is sometimes used as an international meeting place for big companies and politicians

-more than once has phil or techno needed to stay for a few nights due to major meetings with powerful people

-it’s kind of awkward sometimes because tommy’s the hotel chain owner and since he’s based at the main hotel, he sometimes needs to greet the people going in for meetings

tommy: good afternoon, madam secretary

tommy: good afternoon, mister minister

tommy: good afternoon... *awkward cough* ...technoblade.

-or since he’s the ceo of a big name company, he sometimes has to attend big rich people galas that he hates

tommy: tubbo i literally hate these types of places, when can i leave, when am i allowed to to leave

tubbo, who is tommy’s plus one and moral support: dude i don’t know, i didn’t grow up rich

tommy, who grew up talking care of himself when wilbur wasn’t there: yeah well technically neither did i!

-and his father is a business man..

tommy, faking confidence and striding across the room: tubbo, i have no idea what i’m doing-

phil, from a table a few feet away, calling him over: theseus!

tommy, slowly turning around to see phil with a bunch of other rich people: fuckkkk-

-tommy makes sure everyone calls him tommy and not theseus

[in an interview]

interviewer: so theseus-

tommy: it's tommy.

interviewer: ... alright, tommy. would you like to address the rumors going around of your boyfriend?

tommy: huh??? oh, you mean tubbo? no, we're just best friends. and that's weird. i'm a minor.

interviewer: are you gay, though? we've never seen you date any women.

tommy: no, i do date women! all the time!!

-tommy being legally named "theseus watson" but calling himself "tommy innit"

-wilbur is legally “wilbur watson” but only ever goes by his stage name “wilbur soot”

-they both totally end up changing their names. legally.

-tommy saying i hate men because he just hates his father

-tommy getting scandals and controversies all the time but just by the upper class

-everyone else loves and adores him and knows he's literally just a 16 yo kid so that kind of stuff is a joke and he can say that without getting in trouble

-tommy will be in his office and tubbo will be at the front desk and sometimes tommy will just yell “TUBBOOOOO HELP MEEEEE” if his laptop crashes because Tubbo Tech

tommy: [during a meeting] oh, tubbo's clocked in for work.... TUBBOOO!

tommy: he's gonna come in here. surely. he'll go "hellœ?" surely. he'll walk in here...

tubbo: [walks in the room] hellœ?

-phil still has no idea who tubbo is

wilbur: yeah, i’m going to go check on tommy and tubbo

phil: ..the receptionist?

wilbur: ...

wilbur, internally: also your sons best friend but yeah sure, the receptionist.

-techno is lowkey fond of tubbo

-techno notices how tommy is clinging to tubbo at parties and galas all the time so he tries to get tommy to talk about him

-he likes that tubbo is there for tommy and totally resonates with the chaotic energy the two create

-sometimes when tommy can’t get tubbo in to the parties/galas, and techno is there, tommy will hang around him and steal his things

-like taking his wallet so techno will have to go back to the hotel afterwards and visit tommy

-he does it for attention. 

-tommy lives at the hotel. it’s not technically legal cause he wasn’t emancipated from his family and he’s only 16 but they’re rich so people don’t really say anything

-technically he still has a room at phil’s place, but he stays in a room at the hotel. when designing the place, he made sure to map out an area for his living space

-tubbo takes naps in his room

tubbo: i'm gonna go take a nap in the break room

quackity: there is no break room??

tubbo: yea there is. on the top floor. with the giant door.

quackity:... isn't that tommy's room???

-tubbo sometimes stays the night with tommy, when his parents have been on a business trip for over two weeks. he still goes to in-person school so he usually only stays on weekends during the school year

-tommy does online school, and forces himself to get his schoolwork for the week done over the weekend so he can focus on the hotel and other responsibilities

-he fakes having the “lmao i'm better and have more money also you don't play minecraft" mentality towards other kids and claims that’s why he does online

-it’s actually because he doesn’t have time to balance everything and he was bullied in the past so he switched to online school as soon as he started his hotel

-sometimes tubbo helps him with his classes tommy is overworked. like, in his off time. he has the passwords to tommy's computer so he just goes on it and does some of his school work

-tommy ranting to tubbo about how he hates his dad and how he said phil was gonna visit him the next day

-phil arriving and asking tubbo (because he's the receptionist) where tommy is. tubbo saying he doesn't know and that he left. even though tommy is literally in his room

-phil tries. he just doesn’t know how to parent. techno was 17 and wilbur was 15 when he adopted tommy, and he just got busy enough and forgot how to take care of a child

-tommy knows if he talks to phil, it’ll be awkward and phil will just try and buy him off (not intentionally, it’s just how business men be working, yknow)

-tommy just wants to prove himself, to both himself and phil. and hes using his hotel to do that

———————

fanart that was posted with @cb28 ‘s work

(i got permission to post this)

[hobiscloset]

@punkrockbrokemy--heart submitted a request for us to roast these looks. Thanks for the visually induced trauma bestie! Guest-starring the amazing @textsfrombangtan (marked as L)

E - Let's go from left to right on the top picture. A - it's just all so bad! im having a mild breakdown about this whole picture

Jimin E - so you know theater kids? A - Yeah, you and me E - Hey! but it's true. this is theater kid but in the early 80s late 70s. paint-splattered jeans and a flannel layered A - oh you are correct. it's not tech week though E - yeah this is during set building

Jhope N - Jorts is just going to a highlighter party A - he's a village people stan. before the word stan existed. so a village people groupie L - i'm not entirely convinced he isn't a village person A - its not a coherent enough theme to be a village person in this fit L - fair enough. this man has never seen a coherent theme in his life E - some kind of like burning man neon party

Jin N - my dad in Paris in the 70s A - I was gonna say the flashback dads in mama mia. so like same dif E - he's just one of the guys in Mama Mia 2 A - Bill E - you are absolutely correct and should say it L - strong agree. bill because he's definitely thinking "why did it have to be me" throughout L - i feel like he got off the lightest here but it might just be me looking at that damn face N - No he definitely made out the best E - i feel like overall they always take the least risks on Jin. like idk what it is but 8/10 times im like "eh" to his clothes A - they're like 'people just want to look at his face, put him in a button up and be done with it' N - Because if they go too hard with it he will wear it to music bank again L - this or jin just goes "no." and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it. jinhitent Jungkook A - baby is a 17 year old who decided yesterday that he was now into black smithing L - baby again with the butt flap this time in the most unfortunate colour A - look at my cool leather apron its so authentic N - Baby is my brother in high school before he asked me how colors work A - he doesnt care about colours he just wants to make knives. ive known this exact child. four of them actually E - yeah i was gonna say like kid with odd hobbies and no anxiety. his goal is to get on Forged in Fire and make a knife in 2 hours that gets thrown at a wall A - Precisely

RM A - Quite literally one of the bullies from the power rangers E - i know the exact guy L - ash ketchum on steroids E - ash ketchum if pokemon had been made live action when they did that horrible dragon ball z movie. like he's got a punk/grunge phase L - precisely and the jeans... they're so long N - A toddler allowed to choose all his own clothes

Suga E - he just looks like every bisexual i know after going to the thrift store like "youll never guess what i found", pulls out yet another bowling shirt A - its true but hey! L - this is a wham! fit. like club tropicana vibes. beach club promoter but the club is dogshit and he knows it N - Mamoru from the original sailor moon anime (pause while E looked it up)

E - oh god you are absolutely right ! A - A VERY SOLID CALL L - aksjdbsbajzjs accuracy 100 N - I know my sailor moon bad fashion

V L - *sharp inhale * A - I get Napolean dynamite character vibes in the most (derogatory) way N - An art student who is very aware how pretentious everyone around him is and put on the worst outfit he could find to see how people would twist themselves up trying to call it Art E - oh i love that. troll art student. also whose fucking face is that and why am i convinced its like a serial killer? L - the face on his shirt is the face i made when i saw this A - have you ever seen a three year old that insists they dress themselves without any help E - i want my ballet tights and my fire fighter uniform and my dinosaur top A - its just 100 percent this Final Thoughts N - The argument could be made that all of them are toddlers who insisted on dressing themselves E - all together its very much like, kindergarten class vibes L - idk it just feels like they hit the random sim generator seven times and they got all the worst traits E -you know that computer program Cher has in Clueless? with all her clothes. this is what happens when you press random and shuffle at the same time L - yes and they only allow the fit when a big fat X comes up on the screen and cher goes "ugh as if" E - cher's outfit software, wrong answers only L - i think this whole thing can be distilled down to "wrong answers only"

[une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir]

random thoughts about aegon vi and septa lemore

Apparently, it’s Aegon’s week. i don’t think i ever paticipated in these events for any character or pairing, but @agentrouka-blog​’s theory that septa Lemore is Ashara Dayne and that the baby switch was between Aegon and her rumoured child (instead of random kid) showed up on my dash today.

Lemore being Ashara Dayne and there having been baby switch like theorised would be fantastic, because she’d know a lot of stuff that is otherwise impossible to know. She knows who dishonoured her at Harrenhal (we all know Brandon, not Ned). She knows about Wylla, a wetnurse from the Dayne Household, who Eddard Stark and Edric Dayne both say is Jon’s mother (we all know Jon is Lyanna’s, so this apparent lie version being told by two different people who have nothing to do with one another seems to suggest a combined lie between Ned and the Daynes). She knows about Jon because Ned went to Starfall with him and (if baby switch theory is true), she can confirm Aegon VI is real.

There’s also the suspicious narrative choice of a “Targ” (not even, she has dark hair, not silver hair, even if she has purple eyes) getting with an impetuous Stark at Harrenhal and a secret child never really going anywhere. What’s the point of that besides shading Rhaegar plus Lyanna equals Jon? This I always thought was suspicious, but this theory would *poof* make it make sense.

TYRION III ~ ADWD

This is the chapter where Aegon VI Targaryen is first introduced. The whole chapter is like a “perigrination” to find him. I am of the opinion that Aegon VI is the real thing for a long time now and there’s evidence that might be the case in this very chapter where he’s introduced.

"How fares our lad?" asked Illyrio as the chests were being secured. Tyrion counted six, oaken chests with iron hasps. Duck shifted them easily enough, hoisting them on one shoulder.

This is shortly after the chapter starts. Not only Illyrio asks about Aegon, there’s also the imagery of six chests about. If Aegon is crowned king of Westeros, he’ll be Aegon VI Targaryen.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++

"There is a gift for the boy in one of the chests. Some candied ginger. He was always fond of it." Illyrio sounded oddly sad.

This is often used as a clue that Aegon VI is fake. Illyrio is expressing some sentimental attachment, so there are theories that he could be the father and the mother would be some Valyrian looking wife he has. it has its merits.

On the other hand, Aegon VI is on the run from the crown, hiding under a false identity and dyes his hair another colour, but most importantly in this passage, is Aegon’s fond of a specific sweet that what we would at first mistake for a father for the reasons pointed above gifts him with.

This is 1:1 what’s going on with Sansa, she’s on the run from the crown, hiding under a false identity and dyes her hair another colour, she’s fond of a specific sweet (lemoncakes) and Littlefinger, who’s pretending to be her father and is very... emotionally invested... in her, gifts her with some (well, in parternship with her cousin, but the cousin is another matter).

By parallel, Aegon is real.++

Tyrion craned his head to one side, and saw a boy standing on the roof of a low wooden building, waving a wide-brimmed straw hat. He was a lithe and well-made youth, with a lanky build and a shock of dark blue hair.

Aegon is inrroduced standing above the rest, literally high-standing.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++

An older couple with a Rhoynish cast to their features stood close beside the tiller, whilst a handsome septa in a soft white robe stepped through the cabin door and pushed a lock of dark brown hair from her eyes.

This is actually what I came for, Lemore.

Why a septa would be described as “handsome” when that should have no relevance since she’s supposed to be chaste (I know, it’s Tyrion, but still)? Ashara Dayne is described by many as being beautiful, arrestingly so. If Lemore is Ashara, “handsome” is a good way to describe her beauty still.

Lemore has dark brown hair. Ashara is described as having long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders. More importantly, Lemore's first actions is push her hair from her eyes. Like, pay attention to this woman’s eyes, even though they’re not described ever (not even their colour).

TYRION IV ~ ADWD

Tyrion had drunk himself blind his first night on the Shy Maid. The next day he awoke with dragons fighting in his skull.

So yes, the night after Tyrion meets Aegon and his party for the first time, he dreams of dragons fighting. Take note these are dragons, not a fake dragon in whatever way and a dragon.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++.

The clouds in the sky were aglow: pink and purple, maroon and gold, pearl and saffron. One looked like a dragon. Once a man has seen a dragon in flight, let him stay at home and tend his garden in content, someone had written once, for this wide world has no greater wonder. Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name. Dragons had been much in his thoughts of late.

One of those clouds looks like a dragon. There’s no dragons with these colours BUT Targs have purple eyes and Viseryion, a dragon I believe is a narrative stand-in for Aegon VI, is described as cream and gold, so one colour here. Honestly, the important here is that Tyrion is associating dragons around Aegon.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++.

"Good morrow, Hugor." Septa Lemore had emerged in her white robes, cinched at the waist with a woven belt of seven colors. Her hair flowed loose about her shoulders. "How did you sleep?"

Holy shit.

“Even after all these years, Ser Barristan could still recall Ashara's smile, the sound of her laughter. He had only to close his eyes to see her, with her long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders and those haunting purple eyes.

"Fitfully, good lady. I dreamed of you again." A waking dream. He could not sleep, so he had eased a hand between his legs and imagined the septa atop him, breasts bouncing.

"A wicked dream, no doubt. You are a wicked man. Will you pray with me and ask forgiveness for your sins?"

Only if we pray in the fashion of the Summer Isles. "No, but do give the Maiden a long, sweet kiss for me."

Laughing, the septa walked to the prow of the boat. It was her custom to bathe in the river every morning.

"Plainly, this boat was not named for you," Tyrion called as she disrobed.

"The Mother and the Father made us in their image, Hugor. We should glory in our bodies, for they are the work of gods."

Yeah, it’s Tyrion, who’d sexualise a rock, but this is a septa who deserves respect. Yet, this is how the writer “paints” the reader’s first interaction with this new character. These are always the most striking moments when establishing a character and sex imagery is what the writer decided to do.

Also Lemore not only knows that Tyrion’s fantasising about having sex with her and doesn’t give a shit, she laughs instead, gets naked to bathe, and doesn’t give a shit if others look at her naked body. This doesn’t feel like a septa. I mean, I remember Mordane and the zealots at King’s Landing who screwed with Cersei. They have nothing on this.

The way she puts why she has no problems with naked bodies and the like also suggest some kind of “free spirit” which goes well with the (disgusting, but there) dornish wanton woman trope and being dishonoured by Brandon at Harrenhal.

Another thing to note, is that Tyrion also clearly says the “Shy Maid” wasn’t named after Lemore, which suggests she’s neither shy nor a maid. This is confirmed by her actions and by...

The dwarf watched Lemore slip into the water. The sight always made him hard. There was something wonderfully wicked about the thought of peeling the septa out of those chaste white robes and spreading her legs. Innocence despoiled, he thought … though Lemore was not near as innocent as she appeared. She had stretch marks on her belly that could only have come from childbirth.

Lemore was pregnant at one point!

When Lemore climbed back onto the deck, Tyrion savored the sight of water trickling between her breasts, her smooth skin glowing golden in the morning light. She was past forty, more handsome than pretty, but still easy on the eye. Being randy is the next best thing to being drunk, he decided. It made him feel as if he was still alive. "Did you see the turtle, Hugor?" the septa asked him, wringing water from her hair. "The big ridgeback?"

This disparity of behaviour between septa Lemore and any other septa in ASOIAF is VERY suspicious.  Note how Lemore has two mysteries about her already, she’s characterised nothing like any septa in ASOIAF (more like the tasteless “dornish wanton woman” sterotype instead) and a mystery child. What’s the point of that, if she’s irrelevant.

Compare how he Yandry and Ysilla couple is treated, where there are no bizarre things taking place that I noticed. Also Yandry and Ysilla are specifically said to be a pair of Dornish orphans. Why is the image of Dornish people here, along with Lemore? Suspicious, suspicious.

Lemore is “past fourty”. The asoiaf wiki lists Ashara Dayne as being born between 260AC and 269AC, which means that she’d be around this age if she had lived.

The imagery of a (false, but still) maidtaking a bath while men watch is the same as Florian and Jonquil song, an event that legend says happened at Maidenpool (close to... yes, that’s right, Harrenhal, where Ashara met Brandon).

"The turtles have their charms, I will allow. Nothing delights me so much as the sight of a nice pair of shapely … shells.

"Septa Lemore laughed. Like everyone else aboard the Shy Maid, she had her secrets. She was welcome to them. I do not want to know her, I only want to fuck her. She knew it too. As she hung her septa's crystal about her neck, to nestle in the cleft between her breasts, she teased him with a smile.

That’s not the behaviour of a septa and note the narrative acknowledgement that Lemore has secrets. She’s also called Lady instead of septa at some point in the narrative.

If this is Ashara, then Brandon met his match at Harrenhal. The waste, I can’t. What a sexy couple.

This chapter also contains Targ history as well as some Dorne (mother Rhoyne and whatnot). It goes well with Aegon is the real deal. But what really cinches it is the ending...

"It was him," cried Yandry. "The Old Man of the River."And why not?

Tyrion grinned. Gods and wonders always appear, to attend the birth of kings.

The Old Man of the River is a lesser god, the son of Mother Rhoyne. These gods are all associated with Dorne.

Aegon is real.++.

Tyrion VI ~ ADWD

"Even the bravest of your forebears kept his Kingsguard close about him in times of peril." Lemore had changed out of her septa's robes into garb more befitting the wife or daughter of a prosperous merchant. Tyrion watched her closely. He had sniffed out the truth beneath the dyed blue hair of Griff and Young Griff easily enough, and Yandry and Ysilla seemed to be no more than they claimed to be, whilst Duck was somewhat less. Lemore, though … Who is she, really? Why is she here? Not for gold, I'd judge. What is this prince to her? Was she ever a true septa?

Who is she, really... indeed... Lemore’s identity clearly is important.

She turned back to Prince Aegon. "You are not the only one who must needs hide."

Why does Lemore need to hide? :)

[mrsjadecurtiss]

What do you think of Robert? What are your opinions on him, do you think that if the war never happened that he'd still go down this self destructive path?

I think Robert was fundamentally not made to be a king - He has the charisma and the looks and is an able warrior, but his negative character traits are indulged and enhanced by his position and led him down an almost unavoidable path.

Robert is someone who above all wants to enjoy and live an easy life:

"You need to come south," Robert told him. "You need a taste of summer before it flees. [...] Flowers everywhere, the markets bursting with food, the summerwines so cheap and so good that you can get drunk just breathing the air. Everyone is fat and drunk and rich." He laughed and slapped his own ample stomach a thump. "And the girls, Ned!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling. "I swear, women lose all modesty in the heat.[...]" The king laughed happily. Robert Baratheon had always been a man of huge appetites, a man who knew how to take his pleasures. - Eddard I, aGoT

"Robert wanted smiles and cheers, always, so he went where he found them, to his friends and his whores. Robert wanted to be loved." - Sansa IV, aCoK

He has just enough of a moral understanding to at least know when he is doing wrong and to even feel bad about it at times, but not enough to actually change anything about himself.

The rage was gone from him now; in his eyes Ned saw something sad and scared. "I should not have hit [Cersei]. That was not … that was not kingly." He stared down at his hands, as if he did not quite know what they were. - Eddard X, aGoT

Robert desires to have an easy life, he wants to be loved, he wants to have fun, but he does not want to deal with the hard and unpleasant things. In times of crisis, he wants to take the easy way out, and he prefers to avoid uncomfortable truths.

Lord Tywin stared at him as if he had lost his wits. "[...] When I laid those bodies before the throne, no man could doubt that we had forsaken House Targaryen forever. And Robert's relief was palpable. As stupid as he was, even he knew that Rhaegar's children had to die if his throne was ever to be secure. Yet he saw himself as a hero, and heroes do not kill children." - Tyrion VI, aSoS

"Well, now I know Jaime's dark sin, and the matter can be forgotten. I am heartily sick of secrets and squabbles and matters of state, Ned." - Eddard II, aGoT

"Most likely the king did not know," Littlefinger said. "It would not be the first time. Our good Robert is practiced at closing his eyes to things he would rather not see." - Eddard IV, aGoT

He feels most comfortable when he is surrounded by people who love him and know how to handle him/want the best for him, and steer him onto the right path in a way where he can still feel good about himself.

"These are difficult times. I need good men about me. Men like Jon Arryn. He served as Lord of the Eyrie, as Warden of the East, as the Hand of the King. He will not be easy to replace." - Eddard I, aGoT

In an environment that works against him, or goes against his wishes even if it is for the better, it creates a destructive energy in him. He cannot stand dissent to his wishes because it robs him of a pleasure he desires, and creates unwanted conflict. He also cannot handle constructive criticism because it makes him confront unpleasant truths - he always wants the easiest path with the least tension. If he is presented with a situation that strains his limits as there is no amiable solution to a difficult/disturbing problem, his reaction is a toxic one; turning to rage and violence even towards his own child.

Not for the first time, he wondered what he was doing here and why he had come. He was no Jon Arryn, to curb the wildness of his king and teach him wisdom. Robert would do what he pleased, as he always had, and nothing Ned could say or do would change that. - Eddard II, aGoT

He may act against what he knows is right, because it is the easiest route; like when he has the wolf Lady killed to please Cersei:

“A costly pelt,” Robert grumbled. “I want no part of this, woman. You can damn well buy your furs with Lannister gold.” [...] "We have a wolf," Cersei Lannister said. Her voice was very quiet, but her green eyes shone with triumph. It took them all a moment to comprehend her words, but when they did, the king shrugged irritably. "As you will. Have Ser Ilyn see to it." - “Robert, you cannot mean this,” Ned protested. The king was in no mood for more argument. “Enough, Ned, I will hear no more." - Eddard III, aGoT

"I am sorry for your girl, Ned. Truly. About the wolf, I mean. My son was lying, I'd stake my soul on it." - Eddard VII, aGoT

And when Ned reprimands him about Daenerys he will not hear dissent, even though he knows deep down that it is wrong:

He gave the king a long cool look. “Would [the man who spared Barristan] were here today.” Robert had shame enough to blush. “It was not the same,” he complained. “Ser Barristan was a knight of the Kingsguard.” - “Whereas Daenerys is a fourteen-year-old girl.”

[...] “Not another word. Have you forgotten who is king here?” - “No, Your Grace,” Ned replied. “Have you?” - “Enough!” the king bellowed. “I am sick of talk. I’ll be done with this, or be damned."

[...] “I will not be part of murder, Robert. Do as you will, but do not ask me to fix my seal to  it.” For a moment Robert did not seem to understand what Ned was saying. Defiance was not a dish he tasted often. Slowly his face changed as comprehension came. [...] “You are the King’s Hand, Lord Stark. You will do as I command you, or I’ll find me a Hand who will.” - “I wish him every success.” Ned [...] laid [his badge of office] on the table in front of the king, saddened by the memory of the man who had pinned it on him, the friend he had loved. “I thought you a better man than this, Robert. I thought we had made a nobler king.” Robert’s face was purple. “Out,” he croaked, choking on his rage. “[...] Go, run back to Winterfell. And make certain I never look on your face again, or I swear, I’ll have your head on a spike!” - Eddard VIII, aGoT

“Gods have mercy,” he muttered, swallowing his agony. “The girl. Daenerys. Only a child, you were right . . . that’s why, the girl . . . the gods sent the boar . . . sent to punish me . . .” - Eddard XIII, aGoT

Robert is a man who always wants it easy, he wants his demands to always be fulfilled, to be loved and have fun without dealing with the bad things; but an important theme that is repeated over and over in asoiaf is that you can only act good if you are willing to face the bad that may come with it, and if you cannot live with the consequences, your action might not be justified.*

Bran thought about it. "Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" - "That is the only time a man can be brave." - Bran I, aGoT

"Sacrifice . . . is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice." - Davos VI, aSoS

"The blood of the First Men still flows in the veins of the Starks, and we hold to the belief that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die." - Bran I, aGoT

Ned stood, gently disengaging himself from Sansa's grasp. All the weariness of the past four days had returned to him. "Do it yourself then, Robert," he said in a voice cold and sharp as steel. "At least have the courage to do it yourself." - Robert looked at Ned with flat, dead eyes and left without a word, his footsteps heavy as lead. Silence filled the hall. - Eddard III, aGoT

This is why putting him on the throne was poison - all the power in the world, and noone who would dare go against his wishes. It indulges all of Robert's worst traits, and buries anything he had inside him that was salvageable.

Ser Barristan Selmy spoke up. "Your Grace," he said, "it is not seemly that the king should ride into the melee. It would not be a fair contest. Who would dare strike you?" - "Ser Barristan is right. There's not a man in the Seven Kingdoms who would dare risk your displeasure by hurting you." - Eddard VII, aGoT

I am surrounded by flatterers and fools, the king had insisted. Ned looked down the council table and wondered which were the flatterers and which the fools. He thought he knew already. - Eddard IV, aGoT

And Robert knows it - he knows being a king isn't for him, that he doesn't enjoy the actual work that goes into governing, that he doesn't have the personality for such politics or to deal with the people involved, and that he would much rather spend his time enjoying life and doing what he loves...

"Look at what kinging has done to me. Gods, too fat for my armor, how did it ever come to this? [...] I swear to you, I was never so alive as when I was winning this throne, or so dead as now that I’ve won it." - Eddard VII, aGoT

"I swear to you, sitting a throne is a thousand times harder than winning one. Laws are a tedious business and counting coppers is worse. And the people … there is no end of them. I sit on that damnable iron chair and listen to them complain until my mind is numb and my ass is raw. They all want something, money or land or justice. The lies they tell … and my lords and ladies are no better. I am surrounded by flatterers and fools. It can drive a man to madness, Ned. Half of them don't dare tell me the truth, and the other half can't find it. There are nights I wish we had lost at the Trident. Ah, no, not truly, but …" - Eddard I, aGoT

Robert groaned with good-humored impatience. "If I wanted to honor you, I'd let you retire. I am planning to make you run the kingdom and fight the wars while I eat and drink and wench myself into an early grave." - Eddard I, aGoT

"Let me tell you a secret, Ned. More than once, I have dreamed of giving up the crown. Take ship for the Free Cities with my horse and my hammer, spend my time warring and whoring, that's what I was made for. The sellsword king, how the singers would love me." - Eddard VII, aGoT

And yet he doesn't do anything about it and keeps staying at the position he hates - he does not want to deal with the uncomfortable consequences that would come with upsetting the status quo, or making changes to his own personality and going through growth, or confronting ugly truths about himself in a productive way, etc etc.

He does make a talk of changes at times during aGoT, and seems to have a sense of responsibility about his Job, but as it is his desire for changes came too late, and what responsibility he felt mostly served to paralyze him in place.

"The sellsword king, how the singers would love me. You know what stops me? The thought of Joffrey on the throne, with Cersei standing behind him whispering in his ear. My son. How could I have made a son like that, Ned?" - Eddard VII, aGoT

"I'm still young, and now that you're here with me, things will be different. We'll make this a reign to sing of, and damn the Lannisters to seven hells." - Eddard VII, aGoT

In a way Joffrey is to Robert what Ramsay is to Roose: an exploration of the inherent flaw in their way of life, demonstrated in the most extreme case. In Joffrey's case, it shows what happens to give someone unlimited power with noone daring to oppose them.

Do you think that if the war never happened that he'd still go down this self destructive path?

It's a little unclear which war you mean, so I will briefly touch on several points:

There could have been ideal circumstances where he might have worked out as a king, if he was surrounded by people who know the perfect way to deal with him and make him work past his flaws (intuitively doing the work of a modern therapist), but the average life is not ideal and grrm shows the realistic fate of a man like Robert.

I think by the time Ned arrived it was sadly too late to change - maybe if the Lannisters didn't exist, or this or that event hadn't happened, but Grrm shows that most of what lead to Robert's downfall was in the end caused by himself. Cersei kills him because she came to despise the man he was, and for good reason as he abused her during all her marriage - and while he has some scenes of feeling bad or even apologizing for it, he never made any attempts to actually change the terrible way he was treating her.

If Robert's Rebellion never happened, he would have probably made an able enough Lord of Storm's End; delegating his "boring" administrative duties to his advisors and maester, enjoying the privileges of highborn life, and having just enough responsibility to feel like the alpha male of his society yet not enough to do as lasting damage as he did for the throne. He would not have been the best Lord, but sadly there are many worse in Westeros, since the entire dynastic ruling system is inherently flawed. If he would have been a better person depends on who he is surrounded with, if circumstances would have motivated him to change, or if perhaps his position of power and outward influences would still just have indulged him into the man he was in aGoT. Ultimately, there are a lot of butterfly effects leading to different results that i’m sure have been explored in many fics.

"Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature." - Eddard IX, aGoT

This was the boy he had grown up with, he thought; this was the Robert Baratheon he'd known and loved. If he could prove that the Lannisters were behind the attack on Bran, prove that they had murdered Jon Arryn, this man would listen. Then Cersei would fall, and the Kingslayer with her, and if Lord Tywin dared to rouse the west, Robert would smash him as he had smashed Rhaegar Targaryen on the Trident. He could see it all so clearly. - Eddard VII, aGoT    

What do you think of Robert?

Since i am someone who frequently enjoys morally grey and villainous characters, despite his many negative traits i have a fondness of Robert; I think he is an interesting character and very human in his flaws, and there is a lot of melancholy to his story that makes me somber about him even if it obviously does not excuse his bad actions. I also think he has a great character design that's fun to draw and some fun boisterous scenes, and some of his positive qualities remind me of people i know.

*Stannis is an interesting character as Robert’s brother, as he is the opposite to him in this regard, as well as in many aspects of their personality and even their outward presentation (like how Stannis crops his beard short to contrast Robert’s wild one)