#ive struggled with free creativity in the past too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thegreatclowncat · 10 months ago

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The results of a Fast

for the last 20ish days I picked something to fast, and so i took the opportunity to stop consuming entertainment: I could only create to keep busy. for the past three years, ive had so much trouble getting myself to do things i wanted to do! i could barely get myself to draw or to craft or to make anything. so i made it my only option.

No videos, unless they were tutorials on something i was currently making or instrumental music. No movies, no tumblr, no pinterest, no video games. The exception to this was that I could engage in all of these when I was hanging out at my bf's house twice per week.

I could only create to keep myself entertained, and let me say, I've never been so entertained in my life.

consumable entertainment was almost impossible to wean myself from before, but apparently dropping everything cold Worked. You know, with the extra backup that i am being watched with omniscience to keep me on track.

it was hard for the first two days. every time i was bored (every 30-60 minutes), instead of going to youtube to see what interesting thing there was, i was forced to pick which activity i would have the most fun with. So far I have started developing an app, learning how to use Godot, and composing creepy chiptune music. i made titanium jewelry. ive been dancing or at least exercising each day. I forgot about youtube and tumblr by day 3 (thank you, non-habit-forming-ness).

one thing that has helped infinitely much is that I got an app to ring a bell and tell me the time every 30 minutes, like the clock tower I used to live by. i no longer lose hours of my day because i cant tell that time is passing.

one thing i wasnt expecting: i usually have a hard time waiting for things. eg if i have to leave in 30 minutes, i find a video to watch or scroll until i leave. or if i have something in 2 hours, i wont try a task that might take too long. now, when i have class in an hour, im like "great i will compose music" or "time to experiment with this makeup powder" until the second i have to go

because im bored! im so bored all the time and theres too much time in a day, but i have many things i can do with my hands and thats the best

the hardest thing to stay away from was video games. towards the end of my fast, i broke it and played spiritfarer for a few days, but i stopped again. and now im logging back in to tumblr send my friends memes.

what's most important is now, when i do these "consumed entertainment" things, my brain asks to go back to creating. I had such a mental high and a giant dopamine return that these consuming-things leave me unsatisfied. which is good! they werent satisfying to begin with, but i was still stuck on them because i didnt know what other options i had.

I will take efforts to restrict my time with consuming entertainment. i will probably let myself look at tumblr like. once per week, maybe even less. I will play video games for 2 hours on non-school days. I dont think i will watch youtube outside of when I am sewing clothes. I tasted freedom and i dont want to lose it again. it was great, and now i am going to make a tune on JummBox

#i was still bored fairly often but only because ive been waiting for 1 month for my fabric to arrive #it comes on monday and then i get to make my backpack; winter jacket; fishermans hat; and whatever else #the other sad thing is #the worst days were when i wanted to distract myself #i had to sit there with my thoughts until i had to confront them #im probably better for it but blegh i didnt like that #ive struggled with free creativity in the past too #and i must say this really helped #especially finding really weird outlets for it #even if the results were inane or bad lol

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 5 days ago

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IVE Ideal Partner

Okay, let me get to this requested reading. Let's do something on the lighter side here, hopefully lol

Yujin (The Chariot/Trust) She would like someone bold and is up for a challenge. She would like someone who has faith that things will work out. Someone willing to take chances in life. Who isn't scared of making bold moves. I say someone who takes a leap of faith. Always willing to confront a new challenge in life. I am also getting a free spirit as well. Also, someone with a lot of confidence who believes they can do anything they set their mind to.

Gauel (The Fool/New Vitality) She would like someone young in spirit. Someone who is fun to be around. Who doesn't take life too seriously. A carefree individual, always willing to have a good time. A person with a lot of energy. Someone who is color and creative. And someone with a vivid imagination. A strong childlike mentality. A person who just goes with the flow and lives life the best way they can.

Rei (Ace of Pentacles/Clarity of Belief) She would like someone who is always willing to start something new. Someone always looking for an opportunity to grow. Someone with lots of ideas. She may not want someone who plans things out too much. Like if they see an opportunity they just go with it and do it without too much analyzing, planning and thought process. That they have a strong belief in what they are doing and just goes with it.

Wonyoung (10 of Wands/Shine) She would want someone capable of handling a lot. A person who can deal with a lot of burdens and struggles. Maybe someone who can help lift the burdens off of her. Someone who can allow her to be herself and shine in her own way. Someone who can allow her to be free and comfortable in her own skin. So, I think she would want someone who can just let her be her authentic self and allow her to let go of all the burdens she has.

Liz (Queen of Cups/Opportunity Beckons) She would want someone sensitive, empathic, someone who will listen to her attentively. A very caring soul. She would want someone patient and chill. Someone who is not just seeking money and focused on material things. They sit and wait for an opportunity to unfold. They go more with their intuition and heart to decide things in life. Someone who take their time and reflects before jumping on an opportunity. She would want someone more in tuned with their emotions.

Lesseo (Page of Wands/Heal) She wants someone who is willing to explore new territory. Someone willing to get outside their comfort zone. She would want an explorer and curious person. She would want someone who doesn't stay stuck in the past and always looking to grow and heal as a person. A person who is always evolving. Someone willing to break free from the past. She would want someone who is willing and able to the healing work in life.

#kpop tarot #ive tarot

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bl00dh0rs3 · 2 years ago

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Its so wild to me sometimes just how like. Divorced from nature we are as a species. Like that's the exact word for it. I was just chilling on my back porch with my cats, smoking, the usual, and there was a heron hanging out on the fence with us. And i was whistling and giggling to myself and saying words and whatever, and he was lookin at me like 'wtf'--you know how animals do. And i reminded me of all the other times ive had encounters like this with animals in the past, and the stories we always hear other people talking about and i just. Man. Imagine how much more frequently stuff like that was happening in the past, before the industrial revolution at the VERY least, but even *farther* back then that ideally. Just.... that kind of reminder that WE are also animals, and we're all on this earth Together. As humans in the modern age, i feel like we have a habit of always. feeling as though we are outsiders looking in? We've becomes so attached to this idea of Controlling as MUCH as we can of our physical environment at all times. And while it has always been in the name of self preservation and a testimony to our intelligence and creativity as a species, i do also very much feel like we've taken it way too far, not just for the good of the animals and environment, but to ourselves, mentally. How sad is it that the average person would struggle to survive in the wild for more than, like, a week? We used to thrive there. WITH all the other animals. Animals with just as much free will as we do. Which sounds so obvious when i type it out but like!!!! All creatures can literally do just fuck all!!! All of us are just ballin' through life!!! That bird that flew over the square while you were headed to your class is also tired and hasn't had breakfast yet! That cat you're playing with is feeling just as excited and giddy as you are during the game!! The animals at the zoo are watching YOU too!!! We are all just Out Here!

Holy shit an even bigger heron just flew by and it sounded so fucking dinosaur. Jesus christ. Everything is connected always. What if our soul is just the first atom that took the path to become us

#horse.txt #i fucking love animals

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nord-sud-axis · 3 days ago

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Personal astrology warning long

I have five planets in cap in the 5th house of creativity fun play pleasure children. It’s leo energy. Body-wise it represents the heart

The only issue I had as an infant was a heart murmur

I was also impatient Aries moon/sn/saturn 8th house and was kicking my moms belly inside the womb cause I was impatient

Also as an 8th house moon Ive loved the occult from a young age

I also have a relatively weak or odd immune system and am prone to emotional related illnesses and love weird health treatments and tend to try newer ones ahead of the so-called collective (aqua in uranus in the 6th house)

Prone to Mental scars (Chiron in Scorpio in the 3rd). Made me not want to share poetry anymore. Love for brevity with big emotional and ideas: cap venus on a stellium

When Pluto was in cap I felt very self protective with good reason because the energy around me felt scary and I dealt w a lot of betrayals esp because the Pluto energy activated just about every placement of mine beginning with Pluto in sag in the 4th house. And pluto deposited on my 11th house from my Aries moon-Saturn

With Pluto in aqua opposite my 12th house leo (I have leo Lilith) I feel way more free to be social and that reciprocity is finally allowed and my interests being valued in a way that they can fit into my life and daily routine in a powerful way (6th house Uranus conjunct Pluto transit)

Leo season this year when Pluto was in aqua activated my 12th house Lilith plus my cap stellium deposited there and I felt like I was going thru psychosis for a moment

I am also thinking more deeply around alternative health methods and futurity

Left and right. The 3rd day of Pluto in aqua my friend (aqua rising) was Iistening w interest to what I had to say for like 3+ hours. Previously when I have vibed with someone they moved away within under a month and/or their mental health caused them to leave my life abruptly (Aries moon overlapping Saturn in the 8th desposited empty 11th house of friendship in cancer during both Pluto in cap and Pluto in sag with an influence of aqua Uranus). Pluto in sag=bad luck this and Aries = self/action 8th = power struggles inherited energy destruction aqua = alientation social circles uranus = weird situations and abrupt change

For the past two days ppl have been acting weird towards me (verbally) I don’t know why like putting more blame on me then is necessary and then retracting it and admitting some fault. I think this is because people (including myself) are being called to change internally related to matters of social responsibility. The three that have been acting weird or off balance around justice and social contracts either had an aqua stellium or aqua Saturn.

This uranus transit will likely be prominent in my life (0 orb sag Pluto sextile Uranus in aqua)and subsection of people of my generation (gen z) because they have uranus sextile Pluto or uranus trine Pluto. This will also rly affect ppl in the usa because us is a sag rising aqua moon

As a Virgo rising I’m analytical like synthesis details/anecdotes being useful and caring for ones heallth

I’m absolutely astonished as to the repetitive thoughts and situations right before Pluto went into aqua for the rest of my lifetime foreshadowed these changes

Last but not least as a Libra mars and nn second house my perception of myself now is that I want a bunch of friends and to exchange ideas and bring dreams into reality and have control over my time but I’m also okay to detach from that for the greater good

I also like talking about and thinking about aesthetics and am driven by beauty harmony w a bit of playful chaos

I’m also only motivated by group activities and can be way too nosy (Libra mars) and desire truth from people

I reject emotions for control and sensuality is second to control and ideals but I’m would like to change that

Edit if I had control over the world I’d love it to move faster but at the same time there are always changes happening all the time that may not be visible…

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summer-2024 · 6 months ago

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i will be a senior in high school in the fall and im very excited!

my main goals for this summer are:

1. apply for scholarships

2. learn to wake up with alarms and not my parents

3. be kinder to everyone (including myself)

4. (and the most unrealistic) get into a relationship again!

elaborating further:

1. the college i would like to go to is quite expensive but i fell in love with the campus and its only about an hour from my town, so i need to make up the change using scholarships. merit based scholarship through the collage covers most, and my parents will help with room and board, but there is still a good chunk i need to make up through other specialty scholarships. im doing a camp there soon to make sure i really love it so im just researching a bit right now. im planning on looking on wensites like bold.org etc

2. i need to learn how to do this asap. the camp i mentioned previously is in eleven days and breakfast starts at 7:30 and i struggle with alarms a lot. i just set one for 7:30 tomorrow morning so fingers crossed. its 11:25 now so quite late, but lights out at the camp is at 11 i think. im worried i wont get enough sleep

3. im really not a very kind person, im mean and its not good at all. im rude to myself and others and its not okay and it negatively impacts me and others. i want to be more kind, and that includes to my body. the gym has a free summer program so im planning on starting to work out as well so hopefully that will help improve my kindness as well. i need to find an exercise plan however. if i put in effort for myself thats like humility right? i got a gratitude journal as well so we will see.

4. my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a year ago, and ive had crushes since then but i havent even flirted with anyone i dont think. the guy i had a crush on last summer is dating another girl but the other guy i have a crush on (ironically they have the same name) just began following me on instagram so maybe theres something there. time will tell! i dont think we will have many classes together next year because i only plan to take one ap class, and this year most of our shared classes were aps (i took four this year and it was decidedly wayy too many.). regardless, im really hoping he will do this one class where they do writing for a book that my class puts together (im in graphic design) because he does creative writing and ive been fantasizing us working together on the book because the writing class this past year was all older than me and i wasnt close to many. nothing will likely come of attempting to date but we will see!

here is to hoping this summer is good!

also the reason i have so much time to do all of this is because my job isnt scheduling me but 6 hours a week so i have time to kill. i might get a second job though.

#summer plans #goals #dating #college scholarship #alarm clock

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callmethehunter · 3 years ago

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I've read a few fics by different authors about Robert, and I'm kinda confused. They portray him in different ways, so what's his personality like in different aspects? I know that he's extroverted (I saw him getting typed as an ENFJ) and extra, and has a warm heart, but what about his flirtiness and apparent hedonism? How does his rural ideals contrast with touring? I know people are multifaceted and no one's flawless, but I still wanna know some things for certain.

Oh dear Anon, you have made my day! These are great questions about my favorite subject in the world: Robert Plant.:D And as far as that goes, I could (and will) go on and on about this forever, I’ve got so much to say!!

I’ve been obsessed with Robert’s music as well as with his personal life for years. I find him to be a multifaceted, highly talented and intelligent person who embodies traits that one would think were mutually exclusive, yet are somehow at home in him. He is without a doubt, totally outrageous and extroverted, he wants to be the center of attention, yet he is also reclusive, a deep thinker who is keenly aware of the world around him while also being introspective and self-aware. In his own words he has said

“It's part of me to get off on those moments where... well, what people would call attention. Obviously, that isn't the be-all and end-all of life, but at the states of creativity that I've reached, well, it helps the lyrics along a little bit.”

“ I’m pleased with how ridiculous I am. I like me. Though I’m not a huge fan. I know when to switch me off.”

I do think he has a very warm heart. He is genuinely interested in other people, in experiencing the most out of any given situation.

In my opinion, he loves the idea and the feeling of falling in love. He gets off more on that than on the longevity of it. It’s like he’s got ADHD in the aspect of love lol!! I say this because of the number of serious relationships (and not so serious relationships) that he has had in his life. I’m sure he was saddened when they ended, but then he’s moved on to the next great infatuation and adventure. He’s quite capable of starting again, as he has shown multiple times both in his personal and professional life. But I also think it’s a testimony to his heart that he’s been able to continue to be friends with his past loves. “There have been people I've warmed to over the years but, as the situation I'm in is so fleeting and transient, I've always known it's going to be over kind of real quick.”

I mean think about this: after having children with two sisters, Maureen (his exwife) and Shirley, they have been able to raise their children in what looks like a loving extended family. His sons, Logan (with Maureen) and Jesse (with Shirley), are half-brothers as well as first cousins. Just think on that for a moment. In a recent picture, there’s the entire family on vacation: Maureen, Shirley and their children with Robert, as well as Robert and a previous girlfriend, Jessica something or other (don’t remember her name). He’s not confined to societal conventions. He could give a flying fuck. I love that free spirit and he himself has said (and I paraphrase) that he may come across as being a good mate, but in reality he’s out to do whatever the fuck he wants. (And it shows!! )

He says, “...if you do what you think is right for the benefit of everybody and everything and you make decisions, then to go back and regret them afterwards - it's a futile experience and it's not worth thinking about. Because life just unfolds. Provided you do your best and you think you're on the right track, you can only be right or wrong. But to regret it - I don't think there are any huge errors or misdemeanors.”

In the area of friendship, however, he is fiercely loyal. He and Bonzo were like brothers till the end, and even still, Robert honors his dear friend. He’s also been able to maintain friendships with so many people from his hometown- people he knew before he was famous. He puts away the trappings of fame and fortune to be the good old Black Country boy, riding horses and playing with goats, walking around in the forests and enjoying nature.

“I think I could sing and shear a few sheep at the same time.” he says. He is the picture of the word “earthiness”. Able to be the rock god on stage as well as the humble farmer on the farm or at the local pub. He’s loyal to his soccer team and to the sport itself which has been a lifelong passion. I love that in him.

Is he a hedonist? Absolutely!! he has tasted every pleasure there is to taste. His every material wish could be a reality in an instant...He has done drugs, had hundreds of one night stands. He is a highly sensual man. IMO the sexiest man that’s ever walked the planet. His sizeable bulge perpetually stands as a symbol (no pun intended) of his virility and lust (and I like it!!) He exudes charisma and raw sexual energy. He’s done it all to the highest level, partied and cavorted around the globe. What a life he’s lived!!

But he is also soulful- in his lyrics there is also a deep spiritual side of him: I think he is a modern day troubadour and philosopher. His lyrics touch on that, “it is the springtime of my loving” ….“In the light you will find the road” “when all is one and one is all” “Then as it was, then again it will be, though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea” and I could go on and on with other examples. These are just what popped in my head. “I am a reflection of what I sing. Sometimes I have to get serious because the things Ive been through are serious” He’s experienced moments where he is the “golden god” as well as tragic moments such as the loss of his 5 year old son and the loss of his dear friend Bonzo. These are definitely reflected in his music.

And finally, in his own words:

“I'm like one of those firecrackers that goes off in your pocket occasionally. I'm not really struggling with it as much as the people around me. But at least I'm not doing too much damage to anybody or to myself. It's just the condition I'm aware of."

And he’s still got a twinkle in him and always will.

Thank you for letting me go and on about this man, he holds such a special place in my heart. He is a beautiful and joyous old hippie full of wisdom and talent. He has created a lasting legacy and I hold the deepest admiration for him, despite his human frailties or shortcomings.

If you have read this far, you deserve a kiss and a medal! Thanks so much for this ask!!

#an essay on robert #lol #ask #answered

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crisps-craft · 3 years ago

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Hello💕 hope you're having a wonderful day. If it's ok, can I please ask for a soul reading?

Initial - K

My big 3: ♐ sun, ♊ moon, ♒ rising

Take care and thank you sm for offering these readings💞

hello! here are the cards i pulled:

8 of wands, queen of cups, wheel of fortune, page of pentacles, 9 of swords, 7 of swords, world, high priestess and strength

something about your energy is very sensitive. i think that you are very perceptive into people- you can feel energy shifts, you can look at someone and read them very well. in a way, you are like an observer. sometimes you find yourself more on the sidelines, per say. while other people are more social and extroverted and contributing to noise, you like to dwell in your own energy and inner truth. you might like time alone for that reason- you like having time alone so you can search for higher meaning in life- i think you are also very curious! :) i think that you like to be more deliberate with your energy and you prefer more deep and contemplative conversations rather than superficial things. some people might find you sort of intense and almost feel like you can see straight through them (because, well, you can haha) you like spending time alone because you feel like you can get your creative juices flowing, you can reflect on your inner truths and what your soul is lead by, etc. also, you appreciate recharging your own energy. i feel like you listen to music a lot and your energy is more on the upbeat side !! like even with this intensity, your soul is still very bright and happy.

ive definitely seen souls who are lone wolves but have a much darker and dampened energy- but the really cool thing is that in alone time, your energy is very lively, happy, and kind of excited? u just really like to vibe alone its very healing for you :) you know how to be on your own and be okay with just your own company. you know how to take care of yourself and you can find a lot of inner self power in being independent and free! at the end of the day, you are learning and appreciating your worth and trying to keep your best interests in mind. even if you dont realize it, i feel like you have your shit together ! :)

you can get kind of insecure around your family- i feel like you might have a bit of an identity crisis / confusion thing going on around them. you know who you are, but you worry that they do not because they try to project what they want to see instead of what is actually there. you might have struggled with that in the past and you felt very lost in translation. however, i think that you have developed a sort of radical self-love approach to this- you are kinda like "i am who i am, screw conforming to anyone" mentality. you are very strong in who you are- i heard "i know who the fuck i am" haha. this doesnt have to be literal, it can just be figurative, but maybe you come from a more conservative family? or they arent as open to new ideas as you are. in this way, you kinda felt like a black sheep and like you had to raise yourself intellectually. your energy definitely has a fiery aspect to it (esp since u r a sag!) i think you can be very defiant and rebellious! its easier for you to get impatient or angry with close minded people who try to restrict you. you definitely have a fiery attitude ! :)

overall, i really enjoy your energy! i hope that this could help :) working with the element of fire could be good for you. candles, incense, etc. i think that those resources can sort of "warm" up your energy and they make you feel more balanced and in tune with yourself. you also like action and adventure- you like things that give you a rush. there's a sort of excitement in your soul, too. i think you like taking day adventures sort of thing, trying to new things, exploring. you like spending a day with friends with no plan but a car and the open road type vibe. very free and fun :)

#psychic readings

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florenceisfalling · 3 years ago

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YOU!!! HI THERE ITS ME FROM THE COMMENTS HI THERE

ive been roaming your blog for the past hour or so and dude like i said befote i adore your art!! you have such amazing anatomy skills bro- how in the world do you do it!?! gosh i am absolutely in love with your art its not even funny :']]

~krabs :]

YOOOO HEY WHATS UP

you're so sweet?? oh my god??? that's so nice aaaaaa thank you so so much! seriously! your art is wonderful too and im honored that you like mine!

i know this wasn't the point of ur ask entirely but i kinda went on a tangent so...

anatomy is tricky, i have such a hard time with it sometimes- but my best advice is to use lots of references! it's super helpful to work up from drawn references to photo references to studies straight from your brain! over time you learn to separate bodies down into separate building blocks instead of one big confusing thing (something i always struggle with) so that you can a.) make poses easier and b.) have fun and experiment with how they look in your style.

places i find drawn references:

kibbitzer has a million things. very helpful! they also have a whole book of references and studies you can buy!

snuffysbox has draw the squad/draw the ot3 poses in a more cartoonish style, but you gotta give credit & not use them for commercial purposes!!!! always check that kind of thing!!

kim_gilgyu has good refs but since its twitter you might have to do a lot of scrolling to find em :'D

just looking up "art reference" on google images and finding people's twitter & dA accounts through there is super helpful!

places i find photo refs:

adorkastock is a fucking treasure trove of poses, especially action poses and fun stuff. highly recommend!

unsplash is a free-use image site where the photographers don't require payment but appreciate credit or support! their stuff is also good for making moodboards & stuff :D

if you can't find what you need, use a timed camera and take some of your own photos! i have to do this for hand poses a lot...

you can also combine poses! that one antistein drawing i'm really proud of is like the first example that comes to mind, cause i wanted something specific, which meant taking photos of my own hands & knives and photoshopping them onto a photo of 2 people dancing.

another option if you can't find what you want or you wanna go creative: magic poser & justsketchme. some features are for paying or mobile users only, but a lot of it can be done in your browser for free :D it's super handy for making your own references!

tHANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR NICE WORDS AND SORRY FOR RAMBLING ABOUT REFERENCES ITS JUST SOMETHING I LOVE TO HELP WITH! PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT AND FIND WHAT YOU HAVE THE MOST FUN WITH!! THATS ALL THANK YOU AGAIN AAAAAAAAa

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imasimpforstevengrant · 5 years ago

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Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

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olivieblake · 4 years ago

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hi! sorry if this is something you already talked about, im not good at keeping up with posts, but ive seen you talk about writing sometimes and ive come to trust and appreciate your opinions so since ive been having trouble with something, ive come to you.

people always say that youll have the easiest time writing about things youve experienced/felt/seen since they're familiar, but i find myself unable to write about things i've been through well. for example, i've experienced family abuse but i don't really feel as if i can write about family abuse even though i know what it's like, or another example, i've struggled with depression but at the same time i have absolutely no idea how i would write about depression/a character experiencing depression even though i know what it feels like. even talking about happy experiences in my life, like receiving a really sweet present or falling in love, i find i can't really write about it despite the fact i've been through it/felt it.

is something wrong with me? am i the only one that's weird like this? i haven't ever seen anyone discuss this or talk about it so i'm not sure if i'm just not skilled enough or knowledgeable enough to pull it off yet or if this is something that happens more frequently, and i was wondering about your take/advice on it.

(sorry that this long, if youve already talked about this somewhere, feel free to ignore the ask, otherwise, thank you, love your blog :D)

hi anon! I don’t think it’s ever easy to write something you’ve been through that you wouldn’t also have an easy time talking about. the things you’ve brought up are traumas, not just experiences, for which a very difficult degree of acceptance would be necessary in order to turn them into art—and even with “happier” events, there are no rules saying you have to write things you’ve personally lived through. “write what you know” is an old rule compared to “know what you write,” and why should you write any particular experience if you don’t want to? if the part of creativity that brings you fulfillment or satisfaction or joy is something you’ve imagined rather than something you’ve felt, then write that. I usually say the best way to make something feel real is to root it in something you’ve actually felt, but that certainly doesn’t mean writing the experience as you experienced it. it means writing your characters’ ambition or pain or fear or love in a way that feels authentic because you have felt or witnessed it

it’s possible that the more you write—and the more you feel capable of putting your feelings into words in a way that captures something the way you’d like to—the more you may feel you want to engage with your past, or with yourself, but I think it’s very normal that the first things you’re drawn to creating aren’t that close to your personal experience. I wrote Clean and Ride or Die and all the many variants of highly unrealistic fiction multiple years before I could ever write Lethal Combination or Alone With You in the Ether or engage with my own traumas in writing; or, when I did, it was in a very distant way, like via the diaries in Modern Romance. writing means gradually accepting that despite your best efforts, despite whatever talents and skills you gain, your finished product will still never achieve perfection, and sometimes your own experiences are too big to chance suffering that familiar disappointment that things haven’t turned out quite as you planned, or they don’t feel as impactful as you lived them. but if I were you, my takeaway here would be: I’m a writer and I can write whatever I want, and for that matter, everyone else’s rules are stupid

( for future, if you’d like to check which topics I’ve already discussed, the index of all prior advice posts is here )

#writing advisements #clean #ride or die #lethal combination #alone with you in the ether #modern romance #Anonymous #olivie blake is on Not Writing hiatus

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kivainthedark · 4 years ago

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Tarot References

The Major Arcana

0 - The fool

Upright: New beginnings, optimism, trust in life, open minded, innocence, spontaneity

Reversed: Delays, Naivety, foolishness, recklessness, risk-taking

*Keep an eye out for the cards paired with this one. I.e. if it's paired with the lovers, upright, it could mean a new lover.

I - The Magician

Upright: Power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness, Will, personal power, intention, Actions, manifestations

Reversed: Misunderstandings, Manipulation, poor planning, latent talents

II - The High Priestess

Upright: Inaction, going within, the subconscious, Hidden knowledge, Secrets, Meditation, spirituality, Higher power

Reversed: Manipulations, Hidden agendas, need to listen to inner voice

III - The Empress

Upright: Fertility, femininity, beauty, nature, abundance, Mother, creativity, nurturing, sensuality, Resources

Reversed: Creative block, dependence on others, Neglect

IV - The Emperor

Upright: Authority, Father-figure, Structure, Solid Foundation, Power, Structure, Stability, Boundaries, Order

Reversed: Domination, Excessive control, Rigidity, Inflexibility, Chaos

V - Hierophant

Upright: Institutions, Tradition, Society and its rules, Education, Lessons, Unity, Responsibility, Knowledge, Teacher, Belief system

Reversed: Hypocrisy, Restriction, Challenging the status quo

VI - Lovers

Upright: Love, Union, Relationships, Values Alignment, Choices, Sexuality, Cooperation

Reversed: Disharmony, Imbalance, Misalignment of values, Separation

VII - Chariot

Upright: Movement, progress, integration, Determination, Control, momentum, competence

Reversed: Defeat, Lack of control and direction, aggression

VIII - Strength

Upright: Strength, Courage, Patience, Control, Compassion, Survival

Reversed: Weakness, self-doubt, lack of self-discipline, Fear

IX - Hermit

Upright: Meditation, solitude, consciousness, Searching, analysis, Guidance, wisdom, perspective

Reversed: Isolation, loneliness, withdrawal

X - Wheel Of Fortune

Upright: Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point, expansion, change, movement, Fate

Reversed: Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control, Stagnation

XI - Justice

Upright: Fairness, equality, balance, Decisions Ethics, law, fairness, accountability

Reversed: Unfairness, lack of accountability, dishonesty, Lies

XII - Hanged Man

Upright: Suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice, Release, waiting, surrender

Reversed: Stubbornness, Martyrdom, indecision, delay

XIII - Death

Upright: Endings, beginnings, change, transformation, transition, Regeneration, rebirth

Reversed: Resistance to change, unable to move on, Limbo

XIV - Temperance

Upright: Balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning, Experimenting, creating, combining, compromise, Negotiation

Reversed: Imbalance, excess, lack of long-term vision, Impatience

XV - Devil

Upright: Destructive patterns, addiction, giving away your power, Restrictions, Indulgence, Limitations, attachments, commitment

Reversed: Freedom, Detachment, breaking free, power reclaimed

XVI - Tower

Upright: Disaster, upheaval, sudden change, revelation, chaos, destruction, questioning beliefs, Unexpected failure, breakdowns

Reversed: Avoidance of disaster, fear of change, Freedom

XVII - Star

Upright: Hope, calm, a good omen, guidance, Renewal, peace, optimism, boundlessness, spirituality, renewal, inspiration, serenity

Reversed: Darkness, Lack of faith, despair, discouragement

XVIII - Moon

Upright: Mystery, the subconscious, dreams, deep emotions

Reversed: Paranoia, Anxiety, Unusual dreams, Mysteries Unveiled

XIX - Sun

Upright: Success, happiness, all will be well, Growth, Recovery

Reversed: Failure, Insecurity, Stagnation

XX - Judgement

Upright: Rebirth, a new phase, inner calling, The past, second chances

Reversed: Regrets, hasty judgement, self-doubt

XXI - World

Upright: Completion, wholeness, attainment, celebration of life, completion

Reversed: Incomplete, delayed Success, Failed Plans

The swords

Reflects thoughts and state of mind.

Element: Air

King of Swords

Upright: Serious, controlling, rational and mind/intellect-focused, Mental clarity, intellectual power, authority, truth

Reversed: Foolish, Quiet power, inner truth, misuse of power, manipulation

Queen of Swords

Upright: Intelligent, writer, communicative yet cold, Independent, unbiased judgement, clear boundaries, direct communication

Reversed: Ineffective, Overly-emotional, easily influenced, bitchy, cold-hearted

Knight of Swords

Upright: Fierce, determined, aggressively pursues goals, Ambitious, action-oriented, driven to succeed, fast-thinking

Reversed: Boredom, Restless, unfocused, impulsive, burn-out

Page of Swords

Upright: mentally unstable or intellectually immature, acts without thinking, New ideas, curiosity, thirst for knowledge, new ways of communicating

Reversed: Stupidity, Self-expression, all talk and no action, haphazard action, haste

Ace of Swords

Upright: A fresh start, a sudden opportunity or idea, Breakthroughs, new ideas, mental clarity, success

Reversed: Inner clarity, re-thinking an idea, clouded judgement

2 of Swords

Upright: Indecision, Difficult decisions, weighing up options, an impasse, avoidance

Reversed: Conflicts, Indecision, confusion, information overload, stalemate

3 of Swords

Upright: Heartbreak, betrayal, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, hurt

Reversed: Torment, Negative self-talk, releasing pain, optimism, forgiveness

4 of Swords

Upright: Meditation, rest, retreat, contemplation, recuperation

Reversed: Disturbance, Exhaustion, burn-out, deep contemplation, stagnation

5 of Swords

Upright: Mind games, hostility, Conflict, disagreements, competition, defeat, winning at all costs

Reversed: Treachery, Reconciliation, making amends, past resentment

6 of Swords

Upright: Leaving, accepting help, going somewhere better, Transition, change, rite of passage, releasing baggage.

Reversed: Trouble, Personal transition, resistance to change, unfinished business

7 of Swords

Upright: Secret plans, abandoning ship, Betrayal, deception, getting away with something, acting strategically

Reversed: Clumsiness, Imposter syndrome, self-deceit, keeping secrets

8 of Swords

Upright: feeling powerless and stuck, Negative thoughts, self-imposed restriction, imprisonment, victim mentality

Reversed: Escaping, Self-limiting beliefs, inner critic, releasing negative thoughts, open to new perspectives

9 of Swords

Upright: Overactive mind, anxiety, worry, fear, depression, nightmares

Reversed: Martyrdom, Inner turmoil, deep-seated fears, secrets, releasing worry

10 of Swords

Upright: Feeling defeated, self-sabotage, Painful endings, deep wounds, betrayal, loss, crisis

Reversed: Recovery, regeneration, resisting an inevitable end

The Wands

Reflects your spirit, motion and action.

Element: Fire

King of Wands

Upright: Career focused, mature, passionate, Natural-born leader, vision, entrepreneur, honour

Reversed: Impostor, Impulsiveness, haste, ruthless, high expectations

Queen of Wands

Upright: Confidant, focused, has zest for life, Courage, confidence, independence, social butterfly, determination

Reversed: Fatigue, Self-respect, self-confidence, introverted, re-establish sense of self

Knight of Wands

Upright: Energy, passion, inspired action, adventure, impulsiveness

Reversed: Apathy, Passion project, haste, scattered energy, delays, frustration

Page of Wands

Upright: newly inspired, Inspiration, ideas, discovery, limitless potential, free spirit

Reversed: Passive, Newly-formed ideas, redirecting energy, self-limiting beliefs, a spiritual path

Ace of Wands

Upright: New beginnings, creative spark, fertile ideas, Inspiration, growth, potential

Reversed: Unpromising, An emerging idea, lack of direction, distractions, delays

2 of Wands

Upright: Contemplation, assessing one’s life direction, Future planning, progress, decisions, discovery

Reversed: Dispute, Personal goals, inner alignment, fear of unknown, lack of planning

3 of Wands

Upright: Reaping the rewards of your efforts, Progress, expansion, foresight, overseas opportunities

Reversed: Idleness, Playing small, lack of foresight, unexpected delays

4 of Wands

Upright: Celebration, safety, the home, Celebration, joy, harmony, relaxation, homecoming

Reversed: Discord, Personal celebration, inner harmony, conflict with others, transition.

5 of Wands

Upright: Competition, minor struggles or disagreements, Conflict, disagreements, tension, diversity

Reversed: Timidness, Inner conflict, conflict avoidance, tension release

6 of Wands

Upright: Success, accolades and achievement, public recognition, progress, self-confidence

Reversed: Private achievement, personal definition of success, fall from grace, egotism

7 of Wands

Upright: Feeling defensive and on guard, Challenge, competition, protection, perseverance

Reversed: Yielding, Exhaustion, giving up, overwhelmed

8 of Wands

Upright: Movement, fast paced change, action, alignment, air travel

Reversed: Stagnation, Delays, frustration, resisting change, internal alignment

9 of Wands

Upright: Pessimism, gearing up for the worst, Resilience, courage, persistence, test of faith, boundaries

Reversed: Weakness, Inner resources, struggle, overwhelm, defensive, paranoia

10 of Wands

Upright: oppressed, exhaustion, too many responsibilities, Burden, extra responsibility, hard work, completion

Reversed: Impractical, Doing it all, carrying the burden, delegation, release

The Cups

Reflects emotions and relationships.

Element: Water

King of Cups

Upright Repression of deep feelings, Emotionally balanced, compassionate, diplomatic.

Reversed: Selfishness, Self-compassion, inner feelings, moodiness, emotionally manipulative.

Queen of Cups

Upright: Emotionally nurturing, intuitive, sensitive, Compassionate, caring, emotionally stable, intuitive, in flow

Reversed: Ignorance, Inner feelings, self-care, self-love, codependency.

Knight of Cups

Upright: Romantic, adventurous, following one’s heart, Creativity, romance, charm, imagination, beauty.

Reversed: Pessimism, Overactive imagination, unrealistic, jealous, moody.

Page of Cups

Upright: Creative, inspired, learning artistic skill, intuitive messages, curiosity, possibility.

Reversed: Gloomy, New ideas, doubting intuition, creative blocks, emotional immaturity.

Ace of Cups

Upright: emotional fulfillment, joy, Beginnings, Love, new relationships, compassion, creativity.

Reversed: Indifferent, Self-love, intuition, repressed emotions.

2 of Cups

Upright: Partnership, mutual attraction, compatibility, Unified love, partnership, mutual attraction

Reversed: Abandonment, Self-love, break-ups, disharmony, distrust.

3 of Cups

Upright: Celebration, fun with friends, laughter, friendship, creativity, collaborations.

Reversed: Jealousy, Independence, alone time, partying.

4 of Cups

Upright: Boredom, dissatisfaction with what is being offered, Longing, Meditation, contemplation, apathy, reevaluation.

Reversed: Avoidance, Retreat, withdrawal, checking in for alignment.

5 of Cups

Upright: Dwelling on the negative, self-pity, Loss, Regret, failure, disappointment, pessimism.

Reversed: Personal setbacks, self-forgiveness, moving on.

6 of Cups

Upright: Sentimentality, kindness, help, Revisiting the past, childhood memories, innocence, joy.

Reversed: Discouraging, Living in the past, forgiveness, lacking playfulness.

7 of Cups

Upright: indecision, getting lost in fantasy, wishing and dreaming, Opportunities, choices, wishful thinking, illusion.

Reversed: Lethargic, Alignment, personal values, overwhelmed by choices.

8 of Cups

Upright: Abandoning something in search of something better, vision, Disappointment, abandonment, withdrawal, escapism.

Reversed: Sacrifice, Trying one more time, indecision, aimless drifting, walking away.

9 of Cups

Upright: Indulgence, self-satisfaction, Contentment, satisfaction, gratitude, wish come true.

Reversed: Inner happiness, materialism, dissatisfaction, indulgence.

10 of Cups

Emotional bliss, happiness, attainment, Divine love, blissful relationships, harmony, alignment.

Reversed: Disruption, Disconnection, misaligned values, struggling relationships.

The Pentacles

Reflects the material world, body and wealth.

Element: Earth

King of Pentacles

Upright: Enjoys the good life (food, drink and leisure), financially secure, Wealth, business, leadership, security, discipline, abundance.

Reversed: Hoarder, Financially inept, obsessed with wealth and status, stubborn

Queen of Pentacles

Upright: Healthy in body and finances, grounded and calm, Nurturing, practical, providing financially, a working parent.

Reversed: Financial independence, self-care, work-home conflict.

Knight of Pentacles

Upright: Cautious, sensible and slow to progress, Hard work, productivity, routine, conservatism.

Reversed: Inexperienced, Self-discipline, boredom, feeling ‘stuck’, perfectionism.

Page of Pentacles

Upright: Student, commitment to learning, Manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development.

Reversed: Rookie, Lack of progress, procrastination, learn from failure.

Ace of Pentacles

Upright: Financial reward, clarity of life purpose, goals, a new financial or career opportunity, manifestation, abundance.

Reversed: Debt, Lost opportunity, lack of planning and foresight.

2 of Pentacles

Upright: Balance, multitasking, Multiple priorities, time management, prioritization, adaptability.

Reversed: Impractical, Over-committed, disorganization, reprioritization

3 of Pentacles

Upright: Meaningful work, enjoying one’s work, suitable career, Teamwork, collaboration, learning, implementation.

Reversed: Mediocrity, Disharmony, misalignment, working alone.

4 of Pentacles

Upright: Saving money, security, conservatism, scarcity, control.

Reversed: Greed, Overspending, self-protection.

5 of Pentacles

Upright: Minor money troubles, health problems, feeling like an outsider, Financial loss, poverty, lack of mindset, isolation, worry.

Reversed: Helplessness, Recovery from financial loss, spiritual poverty.

6 of Pentacles

Upright: Charity, accepting and giving help, Giving, receiving, sharing wealth, generosity

Reversed: Cruelty, Self-care, unpaid debts, one-sided charity.

7 of Pentacles

Upright: Patience, waiting for your plans to bear fruit, Long-term view, sustainable results, perseverance, investment.

Reversed: Unemployment, Shortsightedness, limited success or reward.

8 of Pentacles

Upright: Hard work, focused efforts, laying the groundwork, Apprenticeship, repetitive tasks, mastery, skill development.

Reversed: Skill-shortage, Self-development, perfectionism, misdirected activity.

9 of Pentacles

Upright: Luxury, rest, financial and material comforts, Abundance, self-sufficiency, financial independence.

Reversed: Dependency, Self-worth, over-investment in work, hustling.

10 of Pentacles

Upright Financial success, strong business relationships, Wealth, family, long-term success, contribution.

Reversed: Restrictions, The dark side of wealth, financial failure or loss.

The Elements My grimoire

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juni-ravenhall · 4 years ago

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im gonna start this year actually watching the horse drawing tutorial series i bought some months ago but didnt have enough spoons (meaning energy) to study from!!!

i mean ill prob only get thru a part of the first vid but i want to try to get through the whole series over the next months and improve at drawing and modelling horses!!!!!!!

i will fill out my own horse art style meme too while i study, but it might take a while ofc. basically everything for me takes like 100 times more time and energy than it does for someone whos not sick, so when i say like “ill try doing x challenge” or “heres my to-do list” its with keeping in mind that even if i aim to do something in 1 month it might take 10 months.... but this is fine all that matters is that im alive!

all that matters is our health, at the end of the day thats all we have, so make sure to get enough sleep, water and nutrients in 2021. its ok to skip school or be late on work or whatever it may be if you need that break to protect your health. its ok to not reply to people if you feel like you cant and you need a social break. its not your fault if you feel exhausted or have anxiety. love and protect yourself this year!!!

also if all u rly care about is horses thats ok!!! i just want to put this here bc honestly it took me so long to fully realise that im still as much of a horsegirl (old man) as i was when i was 8 and in the past couple years ive been actively reading horse fiction books targeted to kids (and ofc most horse games r targeted to kids too) bc it makes me happy. u dont have to feel weird about being “childish” whether its about horses or any other interest. just enjoy urself and love what u love.

and if anyone set a new years resolution about things i happen to know about like drawing, animation, 3D, and other random creative stuff lol, feel free to write to me if u feel stuck or need help! i like talking about projects and im one of those ppl who watches a million tutorials and am good at finding information (bc high Te out of being intj dfkjhg) so i can help u find tutorials or other resources u need if u struggle with a creative interest ❤️

#personal #text post

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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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Nanwum IV toolboxkit

I have a love/hate relationship with the word “tool”. On the one hand, tools are awesome. I like holding a big screwdriver and thinking about all the screws I can loosen with it. I ordered a thing at work yesterday and I can’t wait for it to arrive. There’s a rush of power in knowing some object will solve a bunch of problems. Look out, screws.

On the other hand, it annoys me how people use the term “tool” in a more abstract sense, like statistical “tools” or using a flow chart to figure out what to do. I can’t hold any of that crap, so calling it a tool feels like a bait-and-switch. But I can appreciate the power of the term. If you can liken a thing to a power drill, then you have my attention.

Anyway, this weekend is for making preparations for National Novel Writing Month, which starts next Sunday, so I thought it would be useful to go over the stuff that I use to get me through it.

1) The NaNoWriMo website.

Back in 2017, I seriously considered not even bothering with the website, because I figured it had nothing to offer. I’m the one doing all the work, right? But tracking progress is an effective motivator, and I like being able to see a chart that shows how well I’m doing. There’s some bugs in it. For some reason it doesn’t show my Camp Nano April 2018 as being complete, and when I tried to fix it, it doubled the word count instead.

It’s also useful for where I’m at today. Now that I’ve done this thing a few times, I can measure current performance against past years. November 2018 was my personal best, so I’m going to use that as a model for this year. I don’t need to beat 2018-me, but I do need to remind myself that I’ve performed this well in the past.

2) George R. R. Martin motivational desktop wallpaper.

I started doing this as a joke, but looking at this dude sitting at his computer, not writing is a much more powerful motivator than I ever thought possible. The idea is that if I minimize the writing window to do something else, I have to look this dude in the eye before I can look up Robocop clips on YouTube. I’ve had months where I was struggling to meet the goal, and then I went “Oh, yeah, I forgot to change my desktop pic, and it pushes me over the finish line. It’s like Popeye eating spinach.

Now the Tone Police will take issue with something like this, and call it arrogant. “How dare you put down a highly successful fantasy author just to make yourself feel confident,” they’ll say as they wag their finger. “Don’t you care that you might be making procrastinators feel bad?” To that I say: fuck’em.

See, I’m a world-class procrastinator in my own right. I have to get hyped for this stuff every year, because that’s the only way I can build up enough momentum to see it through. Like all Sith Lords, I have to call upon all of my emotions -- fear, anger, pride, fernweh -- to fuel the creative monster. I don’t make a dime on this, so if I can’t take some bloody satisfaction out of it then what’s the point?

I’m pretty sure George doesn’t even know I do this, but in case he’s reading this, let me address him specifically: George, I’ve cranked out three of these Nanwums and you still haven’t finished Winds of Winter, which is well on its way to becoming the Duke Nukem Forever of modern fantasy. I don’t know if you got soft, like Rocky in Rocky IV, or maybe you’ve lost your confidence like Rocky in Rocky III, but you have to kindle a fire under your ass, even if it’s a silly fire, like fear of dying before the book goes to print, or getting it done just to spite assholes like me. But find something and use it.

3) Kenny Omega vs. Sonny Kiss, AEW Dynamite 10/21/2020

youtube

This was a first-round match in a tournament for the right to challenge for the AEW World title, and it was Kenny’s big return to singles action, so I guess the idea here was to make him look strong by having him crush Sonny Kiss in under 15 seconds. I’ve seen blowouts in wrestling before, but this one speaks to me on a different level, and I’m sorely tempted to swap out my GRRM image with this shot of in-the-zone Kenny Omega.

Because I feel this right now. This isn’t like last year or the year before, where I got behind working on stuff in October so I wasn’t fully prepared. I got all caught up a few weeks ago, and I have eight days to get ready. I haven’t written a thing in weeks, and I’m itching to get back to it. I want a big Day One total to start the month off, and seeing this match makes me want to aim even higher than 7000 words. Can I hit 10,000 in one day? The Cleaner sure thinks so. Clapclap-clap clap clap.

4) Focus Writer

You can check it out for yourself at https://gottcode.org/focuswriter/

The main selling point for Focus Writer is that it can be used for “distraction free” writing, in that it’s default setting makes it tricky to minimize the window to do other stuff. But I turned that off a while back. For my purposes, I just need the word counter.

One thing I learned while editing work instead of writing from scratch is that you can just set the word count goal to 100 words. That way, the percentage displayed at the bottom of the screen will keep track of how many words you’ve written in that session. So if you write 1275 new words, the counter will say 1275%.

I used to set actual goals, like 3500 words for the day or whatever, but I found myself constantly trying to calculate what 53% of that is, and that ended up being a huge distraction in itself. So now I just stick to the 100 word “goal” and use it to track my actual progress, rather than setting lofty goals that I may not need to actually hit. The Nano website does that for me anyway.

5) The Adventures of Dumplin

I’m essentially adapting the events of Dragon Ball Xenoverse 1 into this story, so I could break out my PS3 and play it through again to remind me of all the stuff I wanted to use from 2015, but it’s a lot easier to just watch someone else play it instead. Team FourStar’s playthrough of the Xenoverse games is some of their best material, as far as I’m concerned, and knowing this is one of my go-to references is going to make this November pretty awesome.

I’m not sure I could, or should, work Dumplin into my fic. If I did, he couldn’t be the same guy who saved the day in this LP series, because I’m having Luffa do all that. Early on, I envisioned a scene where she wakes up one morning after a night of heavy drinking and finds Dumplin in bed with her, but that seemed a little too goofy to use. But I want you to have that mental picture anyway, so I’m writing about it here.

6) Diet Pepsi

Straight Edge, Hard Core. Stephen King’s a wuss for using cocaine to help him write.

#nanwum iv #i'm gonna fuck this november up proper

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donaeis · 5 years ago

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Sims Traits Tag ✨

Rules: Imagine, if you were a Sim, what 6 traits and a lifetime wish would you have? Feel free to tag 5-10 (or even more!) fellow simmers to keep this community lively!

Tagged by both @silverspringsimmer and @wesunnysimmer so I finally guessed I get over my shyness and just do it, hehe. Thanks, guys!

1. Clumsy

thanks to my wonderful brain I can only see out of one eye at the same time so am legally half-blind... so I suck at anything requiring depth, and also regularly bump into things... it’s fun! LOL.

2. Creative

my creative spirit is one of the most important things about myself... like i can never NOT think of creating. i suck at arts, mind you, for me creation goes into writing and story and character creation. one of the reasons why i dont think id ever take adhd medicine is because of my fear that it’d inhibit my creative spirit and that’s the last thing id want!

3. Hot-headed

oh man, my temper... i couldn’t count on one hand the amount of time it’s gotten me in trouble. wish i could just stick to the positives but in describing myself i really dont think i could get away with NOT naming my temper.

4. Non-committal

i’ve moved about... 6 times in the past 3 years, i’ve been to 4 different universities, lived in 4 different cities, 2 countries, am already making some plans to move to a 3rd different country, never cared about doing the whole relationship thing... im not sure id ever be fully happy just staying in one spot with the same people all my life.

5. Perfectionist

part of the reason why i struggle so hard in uni... and it’s not getting any easier. in fact, it’s only going worse and worse LOL. my bachelor perfectionism was nothing compared to my current master’s perfectionism.

6. Cat lover

i honestly want to say animal lover here because while i absolutely love cats i also more than adore other animals - ive ridden horses for more than a decade starting from when i was only 6, and i love dogs a whooole lot too, i love my rabbits... but if i had to choose between cats & dogs id still go for cats simply because i feel like they fit better with me personally. i love and appreciate my cat so, so much. ❤

Aspiration: Best-Selling Author

i feel like this one speaks for itself.

man, so i dont really know a whole lot of people here yet and i always hate to feel like a bother so im so sorry if im tagging you here and youre like ugh i dont want this lol. feel free to ignore it! @simscognito @chaosxsims @nyteroseshadowthorn @delta-simmer @whyhellosims @kinsasims @dandylion240 @dollyllama108

also thanks to @plumbobheroes for making my amazing simself.

#sims traits tag #non-sims

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arosnowflake · 5 years ago

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So ive been questioning whether or not im aro. I used to ID as panro but ive been soul searching lately as well as entering the dating world a bit and i just dont know. I think i might be quiroromantic? Any advice for trying to figure this out? Thanks

Aaalright, so it’s been a while since I was questioning, so I’m a bit out of the loop on this front, but I’ll do my best to direct you to some resources.

@aromantic-official is pretty much aro central, and they have a resource page that includes resources for questioning aros and a glossary of aro terms, which should be a decent start. Their questioning tag also contains a variety of posts that are aimed at questioning aros; I haven’t gone through all of them, but it’s hard to imagine that there won’t be at least one that’s a little helpful.

@anagnori also has a very extensive resource page (although some may be out of date; I haven’t checked all of them), and also wrote this post aimed at questioning aros.

AUREA is a fairly new website/organization dedicated to aromantics, and it has a resource page (again, haven’t checked all the links, but since the site is new, they should at least be up to date)

For quoiromanticism specifically, this post is a good 101 introduction (idk how relevant that is to you, but I feel contractually obligated to include it). The coiner of the term is @epochryphal, who has a quoi tag that is likely to include relevant info. @shades-of-grayro is a good blog for everyone on with a grayro identity (’grayromantic’ is both a specific identity and an umbrella term), and while they don’t seem to have a consistent quoi tag, the quoiromantic search on their blog yields good results. I don’t follow any quoiro blogs, but a quick search turns up @quoisitively-queer, who I’ve seen around (idk how active they are though), and although it’s not especially relevant, I remember @official-quoisexual from when I was questioning whether I was quoisexual, and although the blog is dedicated towards quoisexuality rather than quoiromanticism, and since the quoi community is small, ze might still be able to help you find more specific resources.

Some other aro blogs I recommend (note: I don’t follow everyone on this list, but they’re all good blogs as far as I know):

@aro-neir-o (lots of research)

@aroworlds and the creator’s other blog @alloaroworlds; the first is a blog centering around aro creativity, and the second is an allo aro community blog.

@fandomshateaspecs (community blog, run by a variety of mods)

@biaroace (coiner of the ‘oriented aroace’ term)

@black-aros and the creator’s other aro blog @official-angledaroace; coined the term ‘angled aroace’, which the second is a community blog for, and the first is a blog centering around black aros.

@aro-soulmate-project (originally a blog for deconstructing the soulmate trope, still pretty vocal about this, but has turned into more of a general aro blog with good posts)

@aroarolibrary

@aroacepagans

and uuhh definitely a whole lot more but my brain is blanking at the moment, if you’re an aro blog feel free to like or reblog or reply to this post to make yourself known! I strongly recommend speaking to arospecs directly about your doubts/questions; often, personal conversation can help clear things up in a way that resource posts just can’t. Getting involved in the community can also help; while there’s no guarantee of this, personally, that’s what made me feel secure in my identity.

On a personal questioning note: I can only speak from personal experience as an aromantic with no romantic attraction whatsoever, as well as someone who was lucky enough to have a fairly stereotypical aro experience and get through questioning relatively easily (and with no internalized issues around the aromanticism), but the biggest issue that I found in my aro questioning journey was that the aro label felt so final and definitive, when the aro identity, by nature, is hard to figure out/’prove’ because you can’t prove a negative. I can’t prove that I will never experience romantic attraction; it’s entirely possible that I will, in the future. Hell, I can’t even really prove that I haven’t in the past; there were several instances where I very well might’ve gotten genuine crushes.

But ultimately? Being aro made me happy. The idea of being aro was appealing in a way that being romantically attracted to people/dating never was. For me, at least, being aro is honestly more about making the choice to reject society’s planned romantic path than about the certainty that I will never experience romantic attraction; I feel no desire to ever experience it, the instances in the past that might’ve been romantic attraction annoyed me immensely, and the aro community and the aro label make me happy in a way that I never was when I didn’t have those. I might experience romantic attraction in the future. I might have experienced it in the past. But, ultimately, I cannot relate to the alloromantic experience at all, so either way, I’m somewhere on the aro spectrum, and the ‘aromantic’ identity makes me feel happy, so I’m using it and you physically cannot stop me.

(Obviously, this isn’t a universal experience: many aro people still have the desire to date/marry/have a romantic relationship, many aro people still experience some form of romantic attraction, many aro people may struggle with internalized self hate due to being aromantic or mourn the loss of their pre-planned romantic lifepath, or experience being aromantic in a completely different way. This is just my personal experience, and I wish I’d heard it when I was questioning, so I try to tell it to questioning aros now that I have the chance to do so.)

So, to close, I’ll repeat the same thing I always say to questioning people: ultimately, it’s more important that you’re happy with a label than that it fits. If identifying as aromantic, quoiromantic, or any other arospec identity makes you feel right, happy, or gives you the language to talk about your experiences in a way that you currently can’t, then you shouldn’t worry too much about whether or not the label technically fits, honestly. If IDing as panromantic makes you happy and accurately gives you language to talk about your experiences/describe your feelings, then there may be no need to ID as arospec, even if you fit the definitions. But if IDing as arospec makes you happy or helps you in any way, you can always start IDing as such, even if you’re not sure, don’t entirely fit the definitions, or if you later change your label.

#aro stuff #asks #my posts #Anonymous

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