#ive started keeping the needle in for a minute after im done to keep the serum from leaking back out

[kanenites]

does anyone else have it where the pain from ur injections is never consistent . i thought i was off scot-free this time but it started hurting SOOO BAD at the end and now it stings!!!!!!!

[detectivejay-chuckles-halstead]

Nervous Breakdown // Jay Halstead x Reader

Photo by @karihighman​

Description: Jay is there when you start to break down.

Words: 1539

Warnings: None

Pairing: Jay x Reader

A/N: So, this I wrote for me. The schedule Reader talks about is my actual schedule. The sign offs are the things I actually need. This was me last night, except I didn’t have someone like Jay to talk me down from my nervous break down, I just had it and then had to be at my clinical this morning (which I’m still at btw lol). But yeah. Hope you enjoy. And if my posting is sporadic in the next month or so, this is why. 

“Come to bed,” Jay told you softly, leaning on the doorframe of your bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you with papers spread across the floor, couch, and coffee table. 

Your movements were frantic as you tried to organize them all, trying to figure out the best system to keep everything together. Every section was chronologically ordered for the online documentation, paper clips holding each stack together. Then, there were the colored sheets that had even more important signatures on them. You had to make sure everything was in order as class was drawing to an end. 

“I’ll sleep when I’m done, Jay,” you snapped at him before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“I know.” He walked over, stepping around the stacks before sitting directly behind you in the only place clear of paper. “Come here.” 

You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning back into his chest, his arms wrapping around you. Grounding you as your mind went a mile a minute. You also couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing your calendar, flipping it open to this month.

“What’s the schedule look like?” His chin rested on your shoulder as he looked at the planner. 

“I have to help with the EMT class Saturday from seven to three. Then I start my shift at work at eight tomorrow night. Then, work Sunday night. So I’m going to try and catch up on some sleep on Sunday. I have my exam in Med Emergencies on Monday. Then, I have an ambulance clinical AM shift at seven. Same on Wednesday. A quiz in Med Emergencies on Thursday. Then, I work Thursday night. Off at eight on Friday morning, but I picked up a shift from two to ten Friday day. Then, ambulance clinical on Saturday AM shift. 

Same with that next Sunday. A quiz in Med Emergencies on the seventeenth. Then work that night. Work the night of the eighteenth, but I’m off at four in the morning instead of my usual eight. Mainly because I have an OR clinical on the nineteenth from seven to three. But then I work that night, off at five on the twentieth because I have an exam in Med Emergencies that day. Ambulance clinical AM shift on the twenty-first. Twenty-second, I have an ER shift from seven to three, then I work that night. Work Sunday night, so I’m going to try to catch up on sleep that day. 

Twenty-fourth I have another exam in Med Emergencies. Ambulance AM shift on the twenty-fifth and sixth. Then, we review for our Final in Med Emergencies, but I work that night. I’ll get off at six to get to my ambulance clinical on the twenty-eight at seven. I work that night, but off at five to get to my Maternal-Fetal Truck shift by eight. 

On the thirtieth, I have an ER shift from three to eleven. The thirty-first, I have my final in Med Emergencies, and then work that night. Off the day of the first, but I work that night. Then, an ER shift at three on the second. Then, I work that night, but I’m going to try to switch shifts just because my ER shift won’t finish until eleven. The third, we have our student evals. The fourth, I’m helping the junior class with their Ops day, and then I have an ambulance clinical that night. Off the fifth, but work that night. Off the sixth, but work that night. Seventh is labor day, so completely free. ER shift on the eighth at three. Then, on the ninth, OR shift at seven.

“After that, I don’t know because we haven’t signed up for our capstone. Which all of this,” you said, motioning to the mess of papers, “is me getting everything in order to make sure I have everything done and what I still need. Because we can’t start capstone until all of our skills check offs are done, and we’ve hit all of our demographics.”

“What do you have left to do for your skills?” That question got you to sigh, putting the planner down and grabbing a notebook. You had to push your glasses back up on your face as you looked down at your messy handwriting. 

“Five peer reviews for pediatric intubations. Two peer reviews for needle cricothyrotomy. Three peer and two instructor reviews for trauma assessment. Five peer reviews for trauma intubations. Two instructor reviews for joint splinting -- which I’m already an EMT, why the Hell do I have to sign off on the BLS stuff again? Same with long-bone. I need one peer review and two instructor for traction splint. Again, BLS bullshit. Seven peer reviews for medical and cardiac scenarios. Eleven peer reviews for IV starts, and one instructor. One instructor for IV piggyback. Five peer reviews for IO. Oh, and another instructor. Three peer for IM injection. Three peer for synchronized cardioversion. One peer for defibrillation. Three peer transcutaneous pacing. Four peer reviews and one instructor for adult team lead scenarios. Five peer reviews and one instructor for pediatric team lead scenarios. Eleven peer reviews for being a team member. Three peer reviews for being a team leader for geriatric scenarios. Six peer and one instructor reviews for adult physical assessments. And finally. Six peer and one instructor review for pediatric assessment,” you read off, letting the paper fall to the ground. 

He held you a little tighter. You felt bad. With all the stress you’d been under for the past month, and with how crazy his job was, the two of you hadn’t gotten to spend a lot of time together. And the next month was going to be even crazier. 

“When are you supposed to start your capstone?” He pressed a kiss to your neck, your eyes fluttering closed in response. 

“They want us to start September Ninth, but I’m going to be the last one who gets to sign up because I’m so far behind! Everyone is going to pick the cool preceptors, and I’m going to get stuck with the ones nobody else wants,” you vented before huffing in frustration. 

It was indeed very frustrating, stressful, and downright annoying that you were so far behind compared to everyone else. That’s what happens when you have to be off for six weeks because you tore your knee. Now, it was a constant game of catch-up. 

“Just breathe when I breathe,” Jay instructed in that calming voice, following his breathing pattern. It got your heart rate down as tears came to your eyes, despite your internal protests. You were on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Maybe you should email your instructor?” he suggested when you had your breathing under control on your own.

“And have her take me off all my clinicals and reschedule everything? No. No fucking way. I can’t just email her and schedule my nervous breakdown, Jay. She was very clear in first semester that if we took on too much and couldn’t handle it, she’d take us off our clinicals and completely reschedule everything. I can’t do that, Jay. I can’t because then I’ll be even further behind.” You were talking a mile a minute, Jay taking a deep breath behind you. You took the hint and matched your breathing again. 

“Okay, then don’t email her. But, I want you to come to bed right now. It’s two in the morning. You have an ambulance clinical in five hours. You need your sleep. All of this will be waiting for you when you come home tonight,” he insisted. You didn’t want to, but you knew he was right. 

The two of you stood up, walking into the bedroom. You couldn’t help it as you collapsed on the bed with a groan, much more comfortable than the hard floor in the living room. He wasted no time in joining you, pulling you close again. This time, you were able to see his face at least, tracing his features gently with soft fingertips. You missed him. 

“How about we do something Labor Day? Just you and me to destress a bit?” you asked, Jay nodding in agreement before lips met gently. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said with a soft chuckle, kissing you again. “But you’re almost done. This is the worst of it. After your final, you’re pretty much done with lecture. Capstone is your last hoorah. Then, your tests and you’ll finally be a paramedic after over a year. Doing this through a pandemic. Through all your family crap. I’m proud of you.”

“You really know how to sweet talk a lady,” you joked, resting your head on his chest.

It was the exact thing you needed to hear. Jay always knew what to say. You were so close to being done. Then, you’d be in your dream career. All the hard work was going to be worth it. The thousands of hours in clinicals, the hundreds of hours in class. The countless sleepless nights and caffeine filled days. Yes. It would be all worth it. Just a couple more months to go. And Jay was by your side.

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Patchwork: Avengers x gn!Reader

S.S: Hey! Ive been pumping out stories today so I hope whoever reads them are enjoing them! Im not sure how I feel about this one... it was kind of just thrown together so please let me know what you think about it!!

The only refernce that may not be GN is Bucky’s nickname ‘Doll’, hope thats ok!

Warnings: blood, mentions of surgery, wounds, passing out.... idk what else... 

Word Count: 1849

MASTERLIST

============================================

I stumbled into the opened gate of the quinjet, falling to the ground, rolling over just in time to put a bullet through the head of the last Hydra agent that had been chasing me through the foliage.

“Jarvis, close the gate.” I command, letting my head fall back against the metal flooring. The ache and exhaustion taking over.

“Gate is closed Miss. Should I pilot home?” 

“Just give me a second and I'll be up to the seat. Gotta catch my breath.” I closed my eyes trying to keep my head from spinning, taking in deep breaths.

After a few minutes I moved to sit up only to feel a sharp pain shoot through my middle. I thud back down, my hand moved to the affected area feeling the sticky substance that coated my suit around the open gash traveling from my stomach to my ribcage.

“Oh ya, some bastard tried to filet me. Forgot about that.” My head lulled back, realizing that I’d have to do some patch work on the ride home just so I didn't lose more blood than I already had. “Hey Jarvis, can you take the wheel and get to the compound asap.”

“Of course.” With that the quinjet roared to life and jerked into motion.

I carefully rolled over, using my elbows to prop me up as I moved slower than a sloth to my feet. Managing to use the walls of the jet for support I made my way to the medical cabinets, taking out one of the various first aid kits, hydrogen peroxide and a few towels. I opened the cherry red box pulling out the sterile packaging containing a needle with medical thread connected to it and plenty of gauze and bandages. I grabbed the pair of scissors carefully gliding them through the fabric of my suit to get to the gash.

I grabbed the bottle of peroxide and haphazardly poured it over the gash soaking my skin. The stinging sensation was overwhelming, causing me to stop and lean against the table to regain some stability. The blood mixed with the hydrogen peroxide as it bubbled with in the wound, stinging sensations tickling the area.

“Alright, uh, if I pass out call Tony or set off the sprinkler or something.”

“The quinn jet doesn't have sprinklers.”

“Well damn. Nevermind then.” I look down at the sterile needle and thread that were encased in the package. “Here goes nothing.”

Getting stitches was never a problem for me. It didn't bother me at all, however I have never given myself stitches nor done it without any numbing medication. My heart was racing and the cut throbbed with each shaking breath I took.

“I suggest you sit on the medical table so that if you faint, you'll have less chance you'll injure yourself more.” Jarvis' voice breaks through my nervousness.

“That's probably a good idea.” I nodded taking a deep breath as I hopped onto the table. My shaking hands moved back to their previous position and pierced through the tender skin. 

“Urhg! Son of a bitch!” I cursed, letting out a guttural cry, tears stinging my eyes. I pierced through the other side of the wound letting out the same guttural cry as I tied and pulled the stitch tight. I continued with another two stitches before Jarvis interrupted my panicked concentration. 

“Mr. Stark and few of the Avengers are wishing to be patched through.” the A.I.’s voice broke through the overwhelming pain coming over my senses.

“Seriously right now?” I sniffed looking to the ceiling of the jet, holding the curved needle as still as possible, each movement tugging at the skin I had just pulled through. “Fine patch them through.”

“Hey Kiddo! Saw you were heading back. How’d things go?” Tony’s voice asked through the sound systems of the jet.

“Oh  you know…. Fine.” I replied hesitantly as I positioned the needle to pull another stitch through. I bite my cheek trying to keep down the pained yelp as I pull the needle through.

“Glad to hear it! I assume you got all the files and information needed.” Steve inquired.

“Ya, ya got it all.” I could tell that my voice was shaky as I began to pull another stitch through. I let out a shaky breath as I tied the knot, taking a moment to regain my fading consciousness.

“You gonna need any medical care when you get home?” Bruce questioned.

“Uhm, ya, ya probably.” I replied pulling another stitch through, letting out a small pained cry as it tugged at the sensitive skin.

“How bad is it?” Bucky’s baritone voice reverberated against the jet walls.

“I’ve got no clue what you're talking about.”

“Y/N.” Bucky’s voice was stern, a no-no-joke- voice. “Tell the truth. How bad is it?”

“Uh Jarvis?” I asked, pulling another stitch through the skin, biting my lip to hold in the cry.

“Agent L/N has sustained a few minor injuries, however, managed to be on the receiving end of a knife. They enduring a severe cut along her abdomen reaching from their navel to the bottom two ribs. No internal damage, however the wound is bleeding profusely.” Jarvis read off my injuries.

“Why wasnt that the first thing out of your mouth?” Tony yelled, concern laced in his voice.

“Cause I’m doing my best to take care of it right now.” I replied, allowing the pain of pulling the thread through the skin resonate in my voice.

“And how are you managing that?” Steve asked in his serious Captain tone.

“I’m stitching myself up.” I replied meekly “You know we should really put some morphine into these first aid kits.”

“You’re stitching yourself up?!” Bruce exclaimed “Just put pressure on your wound, stop the bleeding. We’ll stitch you up properly here!”

“Yes sir.” I replied by pulling another stitch through, moving a little faster, eliciting more pain. I let out another guttural cry.

“Jarvis, how far out are you?” Tony asked quickly.

“20 minutes sir.”

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked, obviously concerned.

“Peachy Keen” I snap trying to take a few deep breaths keeping my head from spinning. Closing my eyes had little to no effect in calming my spinning vision. “So uhm there is a slight chance someone will be picking me up from the floor when I get in.” I stated hoping that one of the Avengers heard.

“Do your best to stay awake. We don't want to risk anything.” Bruce pleaded.

“I'll try doc but right now it's not looking too good.” 

I continued to pull a few more stitches through, despite the protest from Bruce earlier. The pain rushing through my body, causing each and every sore area more pain.

“Jarvis, please tell me we’re close. I can't do any more.” I asked tiredly, the pain overwhelming my senses and darkness playing along my line of vision.

“Landing in 2 minutes.”

“Thank god.” I said moving from the table and standing, using the edge to balance as I waiver in my step. The wave of dizziness hit harder and the lightheadedness took over. My knees buckled as I held myself up against the metal table. The jerk of the jet landing caused me to stumble slightly and bump into the table, sending a wave of pain through my system.

Bucky and Steve were the ones to enter the craft quickly. Bucky was the first to get to me, Steve looking over his shoulder watching me. 

“Jeez Doll. You really got banged up.” His words were incoherent as I started to drift out of consciousness.

“Mhmmm.” I murmured, too tired to talk. My eyes closed for a millisecond.

“Hey stay awake. I know you're tired but you gotta stay awake.” Bucky squeezed his arm around me coaxing me awake.

“Sorry.” I mumbled “You're just so comfortable. And Hot. Im freezing”

“It's because you lost so much blood. And because of that I need you to stay awake so we can avoid you going into a coma.” He insisted as he pushed through the lab doors.

I felt the cool metal of another examination table underneath me and the lack of heat caused me to shudder. Tony’s blurry face came into my vision as he looked over me.

“You should really work on your stitch work.” He joked.

“Sorry, was too busy trying not to pass out in between pulling the needle through my skin.” I said back, trying to be more joking then a snapback.

“Fair enough. But I hate to break it to you that we're gonna have to take them out and redo them.”

“I figured. But can you hurry up. I'm starting to see the darkness and the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Don't go towards that. Its a lie.” He retorted as he moved into action, Bruce following in his footsteps.

The pressure of a IV being placed into my arm turned my attention to Bruce standing next to me, a grim look across his features. A bag of blood hung above me as it traveled through the tube into my veins.

The slight tug at my skin around the wound made my attention wander to see Tony cutting away the stitches that I had previously done. The sight made me nauseous and I turned my vision to the ceiling, focusing on the speckled design of the tiles. My vision blurring in and out, the noise of voices were muffled as tears slid down my face.

A cooling feeling drifted over my wound. I looked down to see perfect stitches and Tony spraying a white substance over the gash.

“What’s that?” I asked, my voice cracking as I watched the foam soak into my skin.

“It's a multipurpose antibiotic.” Bruce began.

“It’ll decrease infection and inflammation and increase healing!” Tony exclaimed, clearly proud about the invention. I just nodded my head as all the words jumbled together into an incoherent sentence.

“I think you're out of the red zone, so if you want to sleep you can. We’ll keep and eye on you.” Bruce spoke quietly.

“Can I be moved to a different bed, this one hurts.” I whispered as my eyelids feel weighed down.

“Ya, ya we can do that.” Bruce smiled gently. “Bucky do you mind carrying her into a different room?”

  I saw Bucky nod curtly and he gently slid his hands under my back and knees, picking me up from the metal table. Bruce followed close behind with the IV stand holding blood and medications.

Bucky gently placed me onto one of the sterile beds of the medbay, tucking a warm blanket around my chilled body. Bruce situated all the machines before leaving the room. Bucky had his hand intertwined with mine as I drifted to sleep, moving his thumb in a rhythmic pattern over my knuckles.

“Thank you Buck.” I whispered as I drifted off.

“Not a problem doll. Get some sleep, you deserve it.” with that I gave him a small smile as I dozed off to sleep.

===========================================

S.S: As always let me know what you think!! Thanks for reading!!

[pbandjesse]

I know I like to say that days are emotional mixed bags, roller coasters, and such. But its true!! Like I know they arent huge things, but it feels like my emotions are all over the place and stuff. It is just. A lot. And it wasnt even a bad day. But man was there stressful parts. 

I slept alright. But I somehow got my belly button ring stuck on something in the night and woke myself up because it hurt. So I had to take that out half asleep. It was an alright sleep. 

I woke up fully after James left for work. I got an email that I made a sale on my website?? So strange! I was excited. But then I saw what they ordered. We made a mistake on the website set up and the person bought something that already sold. I was so upset. I tore the closet apart trying to find it before I realized. So I was really upset. I was like half getting pretty and then going to look again and I was just a mess. 

But I was like. I should make more bears anyway. I want to get back into it. I miss my store. I miss making products. I was really proud of it and it sucks that the last two jobs Ive taken have caused me to lose all energy for the store I loved. So I am going to try to at least make stuff. Even if I suck at the advertising part. 

I sent an email to the customer to ask if it was okay for me to make them a new one in the same fabric, which I thankfully still had. They wouldn asnwer for a few hours (they are on the other side of the country) and were totally okay with it so I can feel better about that. But we would have to fix the website to make everything a 1 of a kind thing. James spearheaded that for me. Cause they are a great partner. 

Before they got home I spent some time cutting out bears from my new pattern. I got 7 bears cut out and I am very happy with the new pattern, its much faster. And I made one bear so I could make a video. I was very pleased though. I am excited to make more fuzzy bears honestly. Like even though its a mess its fun and I love how they look. I might try to add pattern fabrics as details, but for now Im going to focus on the fuzzies. 

James would come home and I would make a little lunch. And then, even though I very very much didnt want to, I went to work. 

And it was okay. It wasnt great. It wasnt super interesting. I mostly read and spent every 5 minutes telling my youngest kid to pay attention to his teacher. It was very annoying but also I cant blame him. Its to much to ask from a little guy and my other kindergarteners dont have that kind of day. I did feel like a monster when I accidentally pinched his finger between a chair and a table. But I hugged on him and he was fine. 

We made bean shakers for the project today and I read them The Velveteen Rabbit. Which I always loved. And really I just wanted to clean the room and be alone. And eventually I got that. 

We ended the day in the gym. I cleaned. Headed down and talked to Travis while the kids ran around. Eventually we went upstairs to watch a movie and I kept reading. 

I was very glad to go home. And as I was leaving once all the kids were picked up I ran into Marshal from Access Art!! It was so nice to see him. They are expanding to two more schools in the fall. So that's exciting. I said I was looking to not be in the classroom as much but to keep me in mind and he said he would email me as the year went on. We stood outside and talked a bit and it was nice. Just a nice little moment. 

 I headed home and ran into Mr Will outside. We talked for a bit, about work and stuff. It was nice to see him. He is trying to make our yard look more alive, which I appreciate.

James was dealing with a swollen eye and a red face. No idea what is up, but I think theyre developing allergies. I hope not. But they had made me popcorn and we hung out and made a plan to order dinner. We laid on the couch while we waited for the food to get here. 

After dinner I worked in the studio for a while. I accidently broke my needle on my machine. And then discovered it was my last one. I was super upset. I ended up hand sewing though and got two done, and started a 3rd. I hope to get a new needle soon but I dont mind hand sewing to much, its just slow. 

But now I am sitting on the couch in the new dress that came in the mail tonight. And I think it is time to get a shower and get some sleep. Lets wish tomorrow is nice. And I dont feel to bad. I need to be okay so I can take care of James after they get their second vaccine. I hope they dont feel to bad. 

Sleep good everyone. Take care of yourselves. 

[lampoest]

by request from @yeessha

Mission Impossible Fallout Thoughts

Like before: cursing and spoilers !!

short logos nice !!

oop starts with lane talking, always a win 😼😼

why does lane have a beard in this dream?

ooh dramatic nice !!

probably one of my favorite openings

this is badass

hhh its my favorite anarchist:)))

ooh cool name

ofc it's about nuclear warfare why not ??

nervous benji = win

sjshsjsgs

that man reminds me of elon musk :\

cant tell if that was tryna be a pg way to say 'fuck off'

where dat money luther ✋🙄🙄

what was that scream !?!

*throws plutonium*

cool car

ooh the shadows on that guys face

man this scene is really good

BENJI STAY WITH THE FUCKING PLUTONIUM WHAT-

well shit-

oh hey that news guy

pulling a sneaky on him

i also love this scene sm

literally everything about the nils delbruuk scene

:0 so cool

benji got to wear a mask >:))))

sjshsjsgsjs they made a bet on it i love that

ethan is very cool

HELL YEAH THEME SONG !!

i can never take hunley seriously

ooh she pretty :))

this movie has great lines

i also love how it goes in depth about moral choices

WALKER YESS :)))))))))) HE SO PRETTY😳😳

also she pretty too :))))

i just realized why former presidents still are protected

i like how they curse more

bro why is walker so :)))))))

btw this is just gonna be me simping literally everyone

the height difference

HALO JUMP HALO JUMP HALO JUMP

ugh fuck off walker you may be pretty but replying with 'crystal' naw fam✋😬😬

yes because we can die

oop they be falling

i dont think that would work but ok if you say so

not even worth it

i couldnt tell what they were saying until i put on captions

although i dont need any captions to understand the french 😼😼

the faint beat in the background v cool

reflexes

breaking things

chekhovs gun

shdhgdhshdjdhdjs why-

dis why you use the needle

damn he beating the shit out of them

ooh its ilsa

ethan why-

ooh she pretty too 😳😳

alright uh badass female is great

that man reminds me of a toddler

strong accusation coming from a terrorist

shsjdgsjs he wearing arm pads like the toddler whos mom is overprotective

WALKER TOO PRETTY:)))))

oop change of plans

LANE LANE LANE LANE

YES MY MAN :))))))))))

motorcycle chase pog

BENJI IN SUSPENDERS BENJI IN SUSPENDERS !!!

well shit-

eyy he killed some dudes

again walker, no one cares

oh dang she has to be careful, her aim is not the best

R U N

vrrm vrrrm

LOVE THIS SCENE YES

you can tell ethan is trying so hard not to punch lane rn

dang lane really flipped the interrogation hats off man

also i lowkey agree with his message. not his method though-

oop pretty ladies

also ethan killed 4 of your men maam

telepathy

SKDHJSJSJSHS YES THIS SCENE LANE SO PRETTY :)))))))))

i love how lane is just standing there vibing while they talk to hunley

benji dont worry youre great

wait i just noticed that benji's outfit is so cool-

skdgdjshs

walker is cool tbh

ILSA !??

this seems awfully familiar

im working on it

its a trap !!!

benjis wtf face there

oop tea ????

im paying attention to outfits so i can recreate their styles

oop i love how it focuses on walker there

true true

sticking up for your friend

no hes just here because they needed more pretty men

waiting for a diversion

in because HE IS LARK MY GOD ETHAN

ALSO THE LITTLE HEAD NOD I CANT-

stole han solos line there

matching jackets😼😼

how did they swap them ??

and how did lane go along ??

chekhovs......knife ??

wow he really fell for it

also more cursing pog

my two favorite characters together :)))))

CHGJFGSJ I CHOKED ON MY WATER KESUS CRISP

....oop i done fucked up

hunley being all cool and shit

benji being all cool and shit

lanes look of dissapointment is 🤌🤌

like damn bro you fell for that !??

lark

he really tryna lie out of it

ooh her-

whyd he say that-

oop betrayal

i love how benji is the first to drop his weapon

so cool

yeah wait where the hell is lane ??

rip hunley

whyd they treat his death like the death of a lover or smth

first wedding crashers, then funeral crashers, what next ?? birth crashers ??

the most tom cruisey sequence ive ever seen. some comedy some crazy stunts and a broken ankle but still finishing the take

chair theft pog

also i love how not just in this scene but before you see helicopters flying around

hes just hanging onto the elevator and the look walker gives him is top notch

ooh blackmail

this feels like the glass box scene. his foes are getting away and there is nothing he can do

its mission impossible for a reason

tea time with luther

ilsa is a good friend

benji is the mvp here

dang im just realizing how pretty ethan is 😳😳

keep your eyes on the road

luther is great, this is all just a luther appreciation post

they-

they-

they all just copied walker's beard

oh no its julia

ah yes one of the bombs

i like how it actually does take about 15 minutes

uhh no❤️ tom cruise why must you feel the need to do this

LANE :)))))

again why does he feel the need-

walker :)))))))

julia is pretty cool

hes just like: what the fuck how- why-

airspeed ah yes the most important part of not dying

this is a julia appreciation post

what was your plan after that? the detonator would just be at the bottom of that lake

the expressions walker makes :))))

hehe bitch

well shit he has a gun

his hair !!!!!

some star wars level action here

bro benji listen to ilsa

sjsgsjgsjsvsjs this shouldn't be so funny

bro ilsa listen to benji

benji stop wasting time

probably last time but, lane !!!!!

found the other bomb

very true statements from walker

other ? bomb ??

no personal space

ooh uhm lane maybe please dont-

the way he just pops his head into frame like: what the fuck was that ?

no sir you didn't survive that. that is false

i love how she clearly has the same fighting style as before

no benji no smooth brain move

mr lane do your shoes need shining ?!?

dey see me rollin-

ofc he gets burnt why the fuck not

uuuhm what✋😀😀 when the hot oil started spraying i felt a drop of what felt like hot oil on my finger. i am in my room and there isnt even water in here. im scared

also how tf is that holding his weight

chekhovs hook

team work makes the dream work

dang keep believing lane keep thinking that ✋🙄🙄

hes still pretty

so close oh no

why do things just magically stop at the edge of cliffs

kesus crisp ethan not again

i love his shoes though -

what if the hook missed though ??

esploded

thats a no from me dawg

his meniachal little smile shdgsjsgsj

its an action film he'll have it

aww lane so sad :((( oh yeah and 1/3 of the world is saved too. good job ig.

THEY PUT MY MAN IN A TRUNK NOOO >:000000

i like how they end as friends not as romantic interests. v nice

i love how this movie highlights the importance of friends but not in a childish way. even as adults friends are important. they are there for you when no one else did. i like that message.

alright thats pretty much it. sorry that its just me simping pretty much. in conclusion this is my favorite movie 14/10 but i can't wait for the 7th movie.

[littlebitoffanfic]

Trust

Fandom: TMNT Characters: Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey Relationship: Raph/reader Request: I love all your TMNT fics. I was wandering if you could maybe write a fic. Raph x reader, Raph and reader get into a fight and she is walking gets into trouble and calls Raph but he doesnt answer and so she calls Donnie. Reader gets hurt bad and Raph shows up and Donnie is working on reader but Leo and Mickey have tears in their eyes. Reader survives but Raph realises he needs her and super fluffy ending.

 Sprinting down the alleys, you tried to find somewhere to stop and hide. anywhere. You could heard your chasers gaining on you again so you took off. There was no point in running into the street. There wasn’t many people about and you knew the foot had no qualms about killing innocent people. You had been attacked, managing to escape by the skin of your teeth. But you could taste the blood in your mouth, you could feel the swelling around your right eye and the scuffs and bruises that now littered your body. Your clothes were ripped in serval places with blood here and there. You needed help. Digging into your pocket, you pulled out your phone. Running while unlocking it, you nearly fell as you turned a corner but kept your balance as you pulled up Raphs number. You felt nothing but fear as you pressed ‘call’. You didn’t care about the argument you had had with him the day before, or even remember him specifically telling you not to come running to him next time you needed help. Of course, he wasn’t referring to this sort of situation. raising the phone to your ear, you listened to it ringing but there was no answer. Sprinting around another corner, you saw a chain fence with some boxes stacked up beside it that you could scale. Behind it was an empty factory you only knew about because April had done a report on the fact it was abandoned due to the previous boss being involved with a mafia like gang. A female voice spoke, stating you were through to a voicemail service and to leave your name and number after the beep. You wasted no time as soon as the shrill beep sounded. “Raph, its me. The foot found me and they are after me. Im at the abandoned factory. Please hurry.” You could hid how your voice was hiccupping out of fear. You had no doubt that he would come, you just needed to hide to buy yourself enough time. Scaling the fence, you might have had a chance. Until something whizzed by your head, missing your skull by millimetres. A throwing star. It caused you to jump and loose your grip. You fell to the other side of the fence on your left side. Pain shot through your arm, hip and thigh as they took the brunt of the fall. You had tired to protect your head but at the risk of your arm. adrenaline wasn’t enough to mask the pain as you let out a cry of pain. But the pain in your thigh felt different. Looking down, fear flooded through you. You had landed on broke glass and some was now in your thigh, penetrating your thin leggings that were now darkened with blood. Thankfully, it wasn’t large shards, or you could have been at risk of slicing and artery, but it didn’t help your chances.   Scrambling to your feet, you felt every part of you ache as you focused on getting to a safe place. The foot followed behind you, a little closer now. You tried to run, but you couldn’t. so you limped into the factory, using the door which had remained unlocked since you and April had broke the lock for her to do some snooping. You remembered that there was a room in the back of one of the upstairs offices which was hidden. The door, when closed, blended into the wallpaper. Racing as quickly as your damaged body would allow. once inside, you went straight to your hiding place which you were thankful for the several bolts on the door. Once you were sealed inside, you took out your phone to try again. You called and called, with no response. You even texted him, saying he needed to pick up the phone. But another 3 missed calls later showed he didn’t have his phone. Or he was ignoring you. “Stubborn brute.” You growled through gritted teeth as you found Donnies number. Of the brothers, he was the most likely to having his phone with him. Or connected to his Bluetooth. It rung three times and was picked up. Donnie had barely said ‘hi’ when you interrupted. “The foot found me. Im in the abandoned factory.” You were trying, your voice cracking as you fought against screaming in pain. You didn’t have to say anything else about your location. You had allowed Donnie to put a tracker on your phone. “Are you hurt?” Donnie asked. The sound of Mikey and Leo asking questions in the back about what was happening. But no Raph. “yeah, pretty badly.” You winces as you looked at your leg. “Im in the back hidden room. Theres too many to fight.” “is there a window?” Donnie kept his cool which you were thankful for. You needed that right now. “Yes.” You look to the small window. “Put the phone in the window. I’ll track it. We’ll get in through the window, get you, and get out?” Donnies voice sounded like he was asking a question, probably directing it towards Leo to make sure it was a plan. Leo agreed. “Hang tight.” “What about Raph?” You heard Mikey ask in the back ground. You could hear the worry in his voice. “We don’t have time to find him. Shes hurt and they will find her.” Leo sounded angry. “We’ll be there in 4 minutes.” Donnie spoke a little louder, obviously trying to mask the argument. “Okay. Hurry.” You whimpered, before the line went dead. The fear of the situation caught up with you as you sat down on the floor next to the window, carful to keep your bleeding thigh up. Pulling your sleeve up carefully, you could see the bruising from your fall starting to form. At least you hadn’t broken your arm or hip. Sobbing, you could hear the foot tearing apart the downstairs. you tried Raph. Again and again and again. Looking back to the door, you could hear they were coming up to the level you were on. You would need to put your phone up on the window ledge in a moment. But you really didn’t think they would make it in time. Pulling up your messenger, you quickly typed. ��I love you, not matter what happens.’ once sent, you reached up and placed your phone on the ledge, immediately feeling pain course through your arm. Perhaps you had knocked your head in your fall, or you had lost more blood than you thought, because you were feeling the adrenaline wear off. In its place was weakness and sleepiness. ‘don’t fall asleep’ you told yourself again and again as you stared at the door. Banging filled the room. They had found the door you were hiding behind. Crashing filled the room as you felt your arms across your face in defence, fearing the worst? “[y/n]?” Leos voice settled your fear as you looked up. They had came through the window, right over the top of you. “Here.” You called out, your voice weak as you tried to stand but collapsed down. “Hey, hey, don’t move.” Donnie held up his hands. “anything broken?” “No, but ive got glass in by thigh.” You told him the thing that was concerning you the most. “Okay, im going to give you some painkillers okay. And pick you up.” He pulled out some pills and raised them to your mouth. You took them and swallowed, grateful he had thought ahead. Donnie had the stronger stuff doctors used in his lab. more banging told you all that you couldn’t stay here much longer for the painkillers to kick in. Donnie apologised before picking you up. Pain spread through your body like fire as you fought to keep from screaming. Everything hurt and you closed your eyes as you gritted your teeth. “You’re doing well.” Mikey’s words of encouragement didn’t fall of deaf ears as the cool wind hit your face. Opening your eyes, you saw that Donnie was using a grappling hook to attach himself to the building and scale down from the window. Leo and Mikey raced down, making sure the coast was clear. They couldn’t exactly race from the top of buildings with you now. “My phone.” You suddenly remembered. If you had left it, they might be able to trace the others. “Mikeys got it. Don’t worry. You’re safe now.” Leos voice calmed you greatly, but it wasn’t what you needed. You wanted to hear Raph calming you, his words of encouragement. But he wasn’t here. They took you a few blocks from the factory before dropping into the manhole which would lead back to their home. “Wheres Raph?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the pain. “He went out, not long after you guy had…” Donnie trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish his sentence or bring up the fight. “We thought he had went to find you.” you shook your head. That had been 3 hours ago. You had went home for 2 hours then went for a walk to clear your head. He must be on some roof top, brooding. “I tried to call him. A bunch of time. He didn’t answer.” You shook your head. “I think he left his phone in his room. I heard it going from my lab. I thought he had just left an alarm on or something.” Donnie looked down, feeling guilty even though it wasn’t his fault. You felt your trust in Raph dwindling. He had promised to keep his phone on him at all times in case you needed him, and vice vera. Donnie reminded silent as the three turtles slow to a walk as they made their way into the lair. The silence told you Raph wasn’t here. Donnie took you straight to the lab, placing you on the table which was thankfully clear. you heard Donnie telling his brothers what to get. He used a needle to inject you with some more painkiller while grabbing some scissors to cut some of your legging. “What else hurts?” leo asked you, his eyes scanning your body for any more signs. You told him about your arm and hip, then your bruises and scraps and how you got glass in your leg. “I think we need to remove the glass first. I don’t think you need stitches, but we need to clean the wound.” Donnie said and Leo agreed. “The only thing is it will take time for the pain relief-“ “Screw the pain relief. Its fine. Just get the glass out.” You told Donnie, earning a worried look from Mikey, but everyone knew. You only had a little time, and without the strongest anaesthetic or pain relief or blood transfusions, you needed to get fixed now. Leo disappeared for a moment and came back with a leather strap for you to bite on. But it didn’t help. Screaming, Mikey was then assigned to hold you down. He apologised the entire time as Donnie pulled each shard from your leg. You didn’t think there was that much, but it felt like he pulled out glass after glass after glass. You screamed the entire time. “[y/n]!?” A voice called through the lair and everyone seemed to freeze. Donnie looked up at Leo, unsure of what to do. Leo seemed to have a plan as he walked up to the door as Raph came racing in. you could see the fear in his eyes when they found you on the table. but Leo was in front of Raph in a heartbeat. “Move!” Raph growled at Leo, but he didn’t. “She doesn’t need this right now.” Leo spoke in a calm voice, but you heard some venom behind it. “I was away for a few hours. Why didn’t you protect her?!” Raph pushed Leo back. “Perhaps we could have. If she hadn’t put so much faith that you would.” Leo didn’t fight back, didn’t raise his voice, but his words cut through Raph. They were angry at each other, but Leo was right. You didn’t need this. You didn’t need them fighting and Mikey and Donnie so on edge that they cant help you. Leo had more medical knowledge that Raph, and Raph didn’t know what had happened so far or the full extend of your injuries. So you said something you never thought you would ever have to say to Raph. “Raph, can you just leave? Please?” Your voice held no venom, no angry or aggression but it caused Raph to freeze. He didn’t look at you, or he couldn’t, you didn’t know. he looked at Mikey, who was shaking quite badly and on the verge of crying. Then to Donnie, was had your blood on him, then to Leo. All the colour seemed to drain from his face. And he left. When Leo turned back towards you, you saw he had tears in his eyes. And you understood. They were scared. You closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheek as you tried to regulate your breathing. “[y/n]? we have to continue.” Donnie said, placing his hand on your shin to offer some “Okay, okay.” You nod, putting the strap back in your mouth as Mikey braced himself.

---------------------------time skip ----------------

An hour or so later, and you had passed out. When you awoke, you were in the bedroom which you use to sleep in when you stayed at the lair before you and Raph had been together. Donnie came in to check on you when you woke up. He told you that you had been asleep for 12 hours, and they were starting to get really worried. Donnie had to put about 4 stitches in 2 of the wounds but he said the rest just needed paper stitches, which you were grateful for. You had thankfully just bruises your arm and the rest of your injuries were easy to see to. “Thank you.” You smiled, grateful for Donnies vast knowledge. “You’re my sister. Theres nothing to thank.” Donnie shook his head, just happy you were still alive. “Could, could you see if Raphs about? Ask if he can come in?” You ask, hesitating a little. You didn’t like sending the brothers as messengers between each other, but Donnie nodded and left. A few minutes later, there was a quiet knock at the door. “Come in.” You called, unable to quiet your own racing heart. You didn’t want to be fighting with Raph, and you didn’t want him to blame himself for this. Raph came in like a kicked puppy. He walked across the room and sat on the sofa that was by your bed. “Leo said to give you this.” He held out something to you. Your phone. “Oh, thanks.” You smile, taking it and placing it on the bedside. “i-I eh, I didn’t have mine on me. When you had tried…” Raph trailed off, unable to even look at you as he struggled to find the words. “yeah.” You nod, unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry.” He breathed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” “I know, I know.” You say in a soothing voice. “[y/n], you could have died!” Raph snapped a little, but not at you directly. “I know, but I didn’t.” You shrug. “Donnie thought you’d shattered your bones.” Raph shook his head, unable to understand why you sounded so care free. “But I didn’t.” You point out again. “We thought you weren’t going to wake.” Raph looks up at you, bewildered. “But I did.” You raise your eyebrows at him. Raphs gaze was one of utter confusion, and it breaks your serious facade. You couldn’t help the grin that pulls at your lips or the chuckle that leaves your throat. But it seemed it was what the room needed, as Raph ended up having a smile pull at his lips. It cleared the room of the tension and the awkwardness. However, Raph did stop smiling as he thought. “you texted me saying you loved me. After you’d phone Donnie. Why?” He asks, his eyes darting to your phone and back. He had read your messages, seen how you had tried to call him and probably listened to your voicemail. “Because I wanted you to know that. I knew when you found out what was happening that you might blame yourself. But I know you wouldn’t put me in danger on purpose or not help me to be malicious. I just wanted you to know that I held nothing against you if the worst happened.” You explained to him, unable to stop tears from forming in your eyes and cascading down your cheeks. Raph nodded looking away from you as you saw tears pooling in his own eyes. You had never, ever seen Raph cry. “I love you. You know that, right?” He asks you. He looked… concerned. “Yeah, of course.” you nod, unsure why he would ask such a question. “do, do you still trust me?” He asked, seemed terrified of the answer and you suddenly understood. trust was so important in your relationship. You didn’t mean trust as in infidelity. It was the sort of trust that allowed you to fall and know he’d catch you. The type that told you he was always close when you needed him. The trust in his vow to keep you safe. You paused, trying to think of your answer. While you didn’t hold any grudge against him for your injuries, you couldn’t say if he would be the first person you called if something happened again. “I want to say yes, but it wouldn’t be entirely true.” You finally say. You didn’t want to lie to him and part of him probably knew the answer already. Raph takes a deep, shaking breath before nodding. “but I want to.” You add, offering him a lifeline. Raphs head snapped to your own, as if to make sure you had actually spoken and it wasn’t his imagination. “Really?” He breathes, hope in his eyes. You nod with a smile, confirming what you had just said. “I’ll do anything, anything you want.” He vows to you, moving from the sofa to kneel beside you. You smile and take his head, giving it a little squeeze but you felt a small pain niggling in your leg. “Could you ask Donnie for some more pain killers?” You ask, wanting to stop it before eit starts. “yes, of course.” Raph jumps up, ready to run to Donnie but you didn’t let go of his hand. “But first, you could start with a kiss.” You smile sweetly. Raph all but melts as he leans down and gently presses a soft kiss to your lips. He was highly aware of all your injuries, but couldn’t deny you such a request. you were about to reach up and touch his cheek, but you felt a sharp, shooting pain in your right shoulder. Raph quickly moves away, afraid hes hurt you but you just smile as you let go of his hand to rub  your shoulder. “Right, pain meds.” He nods, his new task in the forefront of his mind. “I’ll be right back.” He rushes off to find Donnie. You couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t much, but it was a start to regaining that trust.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

PROMPT GAME #1

Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.

"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.

"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"

Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.

"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"

"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.

"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"

"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.

"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.

"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.

The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.

Whole heartedly.

/////

"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?

Theres an intruder in her bed!

Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.

This is not my room.

And I am definitely not alone.

Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.

"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.

"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"

"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"

"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.

Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.

"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"

"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"

"Then I'm in!"

"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"

/////

"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"

"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.

"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"

Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.

Not Y/N.

"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.

"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.

"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.

"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.

"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.

"Jungkook?"

"Y/N?"

And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.

/////

"Fucking. Hell..."

"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.

"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"

"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"

Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.

"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.

"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.

"Thanks for the night!"

"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.

You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.

/////

Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...

Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.

But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.

"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"

"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"

"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"

Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.

"What?"

"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.

"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"

Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"

Another kiss.

"Jeon Jungkook!"

"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.

"I-uh..."

"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"

/////

The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?

"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.

"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.

"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.

Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?

"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"

"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.

"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"

"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"

/////

"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.

"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.

"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.

"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.

Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.

/////

"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.

"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.

"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"

"Left? But I'm her date?"

"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"

"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.

"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"

/////

Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.

She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?

"W-what?"

"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.

"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"

"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.

"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"

"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"

"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"

"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"

"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"

"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"

"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.

"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"

"Y/N-"

"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.

/////

"Go away!"

"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.

"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"

"I am never giving you up. Ever!"

"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.

"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"

"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"

"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"

"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"

"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"

"B-but-"

"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"

Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.

"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.

"With pleaseure my love,"

[winchestergirl23]

Cutting the Christmas Tree

Pairings: Dean x sister, Sam x sister

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Loads of Christmas fluff?

A/N: This is Part 2 of the Winchester Christmas Series. Read Part 1 here. I’d like to thank all who take the time to read and share my fics. Your support means the world to me. I hope you enjoy this fic :)

PS: I don’t own any of the gifs. Credits to whoever made them.

Summary: The Winchesters decide to cut their own Christmas tree.

---

Stepping out of the Impala, you and Sam exchange a quick glance. He shrugs and stands beside you as Dean pulls out a bag from the hood. You look around at the vast stretch of trees, shivering a little as the cold wind blows against you. Rubbing your hands together, you blow on them, hoping to warm them up.

Turning to Dean with an incredulous expression, you ask “So… we’re really doing this?”

“Yes! Y/N/N We’re cutting our own tree! we talked about this!” Dean says, putting down the bag and inspecting a large a large axe that he pulled out.

“Tell me again, what was wrong with just buying a tree like everyone else?” Sam questions.

Rolling his eyes, Dean starts in an exasperated tone. “For the last time – There’s nothing wrong with buying a tree but instead we’re going to find the perfect Christmas tree and cut it down ourselves. It can be a new Winchester family Christmas tradition – Cutting our own tree! Now quit complaining and help me find the perfect tree.”

Putting the axe back, he puts the bag on his shoulder and looks around. Taking a deep breath, he asks “Smell that? Fresh pine! It’s the real stuff!” Then, smiling to himself, he marches into the forest.

You push your knuckles against your mouth, stifling a laugh and look at Sam. He raises his eyebrows and nods his head toward Dean, laughing silently. Clearly your oldest brother is determined to make this Christmas a memorable one. Taking Sam’s hand, you follow Dean through a thicket of Pine trees as he appraises one tree after another. The trees don’t seem to meet his requirements though, because he keeps mumbling, “Too spiky”, “Not the right height” and other such things before hiking further into the forest.

“Hey Sammy… can I ask you something?” you ask, holding his hand tight for balance as you trudge down a large, slippery rock.

“Sure. What’s up?” he asks, looking up at you. He extends his other arm to help you down, as you jump, firmly planting your feet on solid ground. You start walking beside him, pondering on how to phrase your question.

“You’ve always hated Christmas. You’re like the Grinch! So what made you change your mind this time?” you question, pausing near a spiky, browning tree.

He pauses too, looking at you. He’s quiet for a minute, not because he’s upset with your question but because he’s not sure how to answer it.

“You’re right! I’ve never liked Christmas but Dean kinda made me realize that just because I’ve had crappy childhood memories of Christmas doesn’t mean I can’t make fresh, happy ones with you guys. So I’ve decided that I’m going to enjoy Christmas this year!” he smiles, pinching your nose.

“Oye! You two coming or what?” Dean shouts.

Sighing, you continue hiking after Dean. After what seems like an hour, finally, he comes to a halt in front of a large, green conifer in a small clearing.  

Dean walks around it, inspecting it as you and Sam watch with amused expressions. The tree seems to have passed Dean’s inspection because - he points to it proudly and says, “See this? This right here is the perfect tree. It’s got the right amount of needles, just the right green color and the perfect height for our living room! We had to walk for a bit but it was totally worth it.”

“Great!” you say sarcastically, pulling your jacket closer and wrapping your arms around yourself. Noticing that you’re cold, Sam comes over and puts his arm around you. You rest your head against his chest, welcoming the warmth.  

With a smug expression, Dean positions the axe and then with a loud grunt, lifts it and hacks into the tree. The axe lodges itself halfway into the trunk. He then, tries pulling out the axe but it doesn’t budge. He gives it another pull but in vain. He looks back at you and Sam. You quickly rearrange your features to an innocent look so he doesn’t think you’re laughing at him.

“Not to worry, it just needs a little force.” He says, shaking out his arms and extending them in front to crack his knuckles. Taking a deep breath, he tries pulling out the axe again. With a load groan, he pulls against the axe handle – and suddenly the handle comes off throwing splinters into the air, leaving the axe wedged deep into the trunk.

Biting your lip, you bury your head into Sam’s chest, shaking with silent laughter. Sam snorts and looks away, not wanting to hurt Dean’s feelings.

“She’s a tough one! Nothing we can’t handle.” Dean asserts, “They say the strongest trees are the best ones!”

He pulls out a large Saw and starts sawing into the tree. When that too gets stuck, Sam walks up to help him. The Saw too remains firmly lodged into the trunk. Annoyed and cold he suggests that Dean give up so you can all go buy a tree.

But looking at Dean’s dejected face, you know he really wants to do this, so you decide to do what should have been done in the first place – you Google it. After reading a couple of blogs and watching a few videos, the three of you work on cutting the tree together. Dean manages to tug out the saw slowly without snapping the blade, following the instructions word to word. Finally, after over an hour of sawing and pushing and pulling the tree, it gives away. Heaving, Dean then ties a rope around the trunk and starts dragging it towards the car. He and Sam take turns lugging the tree and finally, gasping for breath, you reach the Impala.

“Next time, we’re taking the first tree we see.” Sam says, through loud heaving breaths.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun doing this.” Dean responds.

“Well, I’m cold and hungry and tired…” you start, “But…. This was actually a really nice experience. But I’m with Sam – next time, we’re taking the first tree we see!”

“Told ya!” he says, with a smug smile. He then pulls out a blanket from the car and wraps it around the tree.

“Can’t have her rainin’ needles on baby.” He says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world,  in response to your raised eyebrows, .

The three of you manage to somehow get the 9 foot conifer onto the roof of the Impala and then, get in. Dean sighs contentedly, “This is going to be one hell of a Christmas!” he smiles, starting the ignition.

Taglist: @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @thatravenclawwinchester

A/N: Taglist is open! Do let me know if you wish to be tagged!

[nohiketoosmall]

It depends on a lot but i figured i would put my two snakebite experiences here in case anyone wants to hear. I am not the most experienced person with snakes and just started handling them last year, and im actually glad i got a couple bites from smallish snakes as im learning. Theyre not exactly mistaken feeding bites as i wasnt feeding them at the time hut at least one did think i was food.

Note: tw for pic with a tiny bit of blood below

The first snake that bit me was a baby ratsnake. It left two pinpricks of blood but felt like quite literally nothing- its head was smaller than my thumb. It let go immediately. Basically after i washed my hands once the blood washed off and didnt come back.

The second snake is a snake who was notorious for biting people. I had actually held her previously without any issue, as had one other person (shed bitten like four other people)- but the third time she must have been hungry. My experience there was actually pretty tame compared to some others- apparently she bit one persons hand for a minute and wouldnt let go.

She was a smallish/young angolan python, so similar to a small ball python. Maybe 4ft long. I tried to pick her up in the same way i had watched before/ successfully done with her, using a snake hook and one hand. She immediately decided my hand was food and constricted it. Other snakes have clung to me but she really squeezed like she wanted to kill.

Basically by the time shed constricted me i realized it was going to end in a bite. I used the snake hook to try and guide her into her enclosure and shield my hand. She was so tight i couldnt both untangle her and prevent her from biting my hand/other hand. She bit first the enclosure, struck again and didnt get past the hook, but eventually was so close yo my hand she easily twisted around and bit me. Luckily she realized i wasnt food, completely letting go slithering back into her enclosure. (Also this entire sequence was complicated by the fact i was standing on a stepladder to get to her)

Taken just after:

[id: photo of a hand with six drops of blood, three on the palm and three on the side, with the area of skin between them being more red]

Thats where she tried to eat me! I would second that this kind of bite at least is less painful than a cat scratch. Thinking of a range of pains, its definitely a 1/10; ive pulled off hangnails and thats been more painful. A stubbed toe is significantly more painful and long lasting. Its more like a needle poke, and i hate needles but it was less paintful probably because their teeth arent as deep. Its more of like a “hisses and takes a deep breath once its over” ouch than a “crumple in the floor” or “sore for days”

I could definitely feel it but it felt more just uncomfortable than painful once id rinsed off my hand, maybe a touch of stinging with soap the first couple times i washed. It did take longer than i expected to stop bleeding but if you slapped a bandaid over it youd be fine (i had to keep cleaning snake cages and washing my hands and didnt want to replace a bandaid a bunch so i just waited it out). The edge of my hand seemed to be a bit swollen and red, im not sure if thats just from tissue irritation or an anticoagulant; circulation was also not doing super great on that arm during the bite sequence so maybe thats why. Once the blood stopped you could barely see the marks from the teeth, and i didnt feel anything after less than a day. She bit me on my dominant hand and i didnt have any issue drawing or using a mouse.

Granted: like i said, this was a bite and let go situation. Im sure a more tissue damage could occur with a snake holding on longer. But, its good to know that at the end it will go away extremely quickly (with a small snake anyways) and with minimal pain. I was more nervous during handling the snake about hurting her than her biting me, and now im more confident about both.

Heres a pic of my pastry, who is about the same size as the snake who bit me.

What does it feel like to experience a mistaken feeding bite? I know it likely depends on a lot of variables, like species, size, etc, I am just very curious about what specifically happens, how painful it is, what the usual first aid response is, how long you're aware of it... Like if I get an accidental play scratch from a too-sharp cat claw, it stings, I treat it with rubbing alcohol and bandaid, it bugs me with vague sensitivity for maybe a day. What would a mistaken feeding bite be like?

It can vary a lot depending on the specifics of the snake and the situation, but in general, mistaken feeding bites are less painful and annoying than cat scratches.

Many mistaken feeding bites tend to be from juvenile snakes, just because they're growing and always hungry. They're usually very exploratory - so not super sudden the way a defensive snap would be - and in my experience you'll often have time to realize "aw shit are you about to bite me right now" right before they bite you. A lot of the time, it'll be a quick nip, and they'll let go right away. Sometimes they'll be a little bit more insistent about thinking you're food, and you'll have to wait it out (a small dab of hand sanitizer is a good trick to get them to let go, so you have a fail-safe option). If the snake is a constrictor, sometimes they'll wrap your hand (or whatever is being bitten), but that won't hurt at all or even be particularly uncomfortable.

Especially if the snake is a baby, a mistaken feeding bite won't break the skin. If it does break skin, you can expect a few pinpricks that are less painful than a cat scratch. They will look worse than they are because snake saliva contains anticoagulants, so they'll bleed for a bit but it'll be easily stopped with light pressure. You'll want to wash the bite, and it'll usually be minor enough you usually won't even feel it unless you're pressing directly on it after like an hour.

Legit, hand on my heart, even a mild cat scratch feels worse than the majority of mistaken feeding bites.

[midwifebeth]

Day 2: Labour Ward

Today was my first day in the hospital, and the last day for one of my housemates, Miriam, (a 4th year medical student/volunteer), so we went to labour ward together. It was good for me, as she was familiar with the environment, and good for her as I was able to explain what was happening.

They are apparently quite strict at this hospital about volunteers only observing, and due to our last minute change of country (I’ll explain in a later post), we do not have a visa that allows us to be hands on. My style of practice is very different to what I saw today, so I think that is for the best.

The Ward.

See the picture for my rough drawing of the layout of the ward. Between each bed there was a curtain, this was left open until the woman was delivering, then it would be pulled halfway, so the woman next to her wouldn’t have a clear view, but the staff around the room could see what was happening. A curtain would also be slightly pulled at the end of the bed so the women opposite couldn’t see ‘everything’.

Staffing

The ward is staffed by a number of nurses and midwives, a few healthcare assistants (that do the cleaning and sorted equipment), and a sister. The nurses and midwives wear green scrub knee-length tunics, or short-sleeved scrub gowns that go over clothes/uniform like a theatre gown does (this is what volunteers and students wear). Shoes are supplied, with the role of the wearer written on them. They are white leather cloggs. I will try to get a picture when I return. Today there was also a male SHO present at all times on the ward, and a couple of female medical students (I think).

Routine Care

As far as I can tell, all women are kept on a CTG, Synto infusions are routine (5iu, I couldn’t read the amount of dilutant). Infusions are given through a bottle, rather than a bag (which is what I’m used to) and if drugs are added, a needle is stuck into the airspace at the top of the bottle. I think I also saw the active management synto dose given IV, there was about 5mls in the syringe they were using, I am not sure. All babies are given Vitamin K IM, it did not seem that maternal consent was required. The women are alone on the ward, with no birth partners allowed.

It is difficult to ask questions as very few of the staff speak any English, and those that do, speak only basic English. The doctors learn in English, so they will be my source of information when I can catch one having a free moment.

The Experience.

We were on the labour ward for 3 hours, and witnessed 3 births within an hour (2 within a minute of each other!), then another just before we left. The main thing I learned today is that at least in the hospital I’m based at, (I’m not sure if it’s country-wide), all women have episiotomies, this is done during second stage, when vertex is visible. Most, but not all, were done with a contraction. None were done with anaesthetic.

When we arrived there were 3 women labouring, and one postnatal, her baby was on a resuscitaire across the ward while she waited to be sutured. Only doctors do the suturing here. The SHO did the suturing, with me and the other volunteer, and the 2 medical students, observing, and a nurse/midwife assisting. The suturing method was the same as in the UK, commencing with infiltration of local anaesthetic (through a needle manually bent by the doctor). I have to say I’ve never seen someone suture so quickly! It was textbook style.

Afterwards, the mother was handed her baby, and she lay with her for a while. They were concerned about bleeding, so a tampon swab was left inside her vagina for about an hour. The doctor came back and removed it, and a few clots, then she was dressed while on the bed, and left to rest, with the baby back on the resuscitaire.

Soon after the suturing was completed, the lady in the middle bed on the left (see pic) was given an ARM with a pair of surgical scissors. Synto was commenced. All three labouring women were occasionally vocalising in pain, but were mostly left to it. When the staff feel that a woman is reaching second stage (they did not always do VEs), they get them into the ‘birth position’. This is like McRoberts, but with the legs held out to the side, and the woman holding her feet in a particular way to keep the position. It looks quite uncomfortable, and having tried it myself (at my host house) I know I would not be able to hold it for very long. They are then left to push with each contraction. Once vulval gaping is seen, or the staff feel birth is soon, the woman is attended by 2 midwives/nurses, one on each side. An episiotomy is given, baby delivered, covered in a small sheet, while one midwife gives the active management dose via IV (who then takes the baby to the resuscitaire), and the other palpates and massages the uterus, delivering the placenta quickly (I think the longest 3rd stage I saw was max 4 minutes). She then changes the sheet under the woman and takes the placenta, any swabs used, and the used linen out to the sluice/back room. Meanwhile, the midwife caring for the baby weighs it, measures length, head and chest circumference, gives Vit K, then dresses it in about 3 layers before swaddling and leaving on one side of the resuscitaire with a temperature probe attached to the resuscitaire.

While the first woman was pushing as described above, the two that delivered simultaneously had their bladders emptied with a catheter into a steel kidney dish that was then rinsed.

While the other 2 women were reaching second stage and starting to push, a 5th woman was brought into the ward on a wheelchair. Hearing the noises the ladies were making, and observing the environment, her fear was visible and Miriam and I both noticed her attempting to hide her tears as she climbed onto the bed. The woman pushing on the right was opening her bowels frequently, this was left exposed for most to see until each movement had finished.

The two women delivered within a couple of minutes of each other, directly opposite one another. The one on the left was given an epis, and we could see the scar tissue from her previous birth (P2), they have the bent episiotomy scissors here, with the guard on the side that goes inside the perineum, which we don’t have in my hospital in London (we use standard surgical scissors). Her perineum was then guarded with a swab, and the midwife encourage her right leg into McRoberts position. Once the head was delivered they did nuchal cord cutting.

The SHO assisted in the delivery of the lady on the right, doing forceful fundal pressure, which I have only seen once before and not to the same extent. Miriam and I were concerned as after the baby was born the right shoulder seemed lower than the left, and the arm floppy (indicative of Erb’s Palsy or another injury), however the baby was moving her right arm around freely by the time we left.

Soon after they delivered a 6th lady was admitted. The consultant came for his round soon after. He did a VE on this lady (with minimal if any communication with her), conveyed his findings to the SHO and promptly left. A couple of minutes later the lady started to haemorrhage, so all the nurses and midwives worked together to get her onto the gurney and rushed to theatre (which is in another building, up a ramp). I estimated about 600mls on the bed.

Reflecting on the experience

It was an interesting, and rather uncomfortable experience for me. I felt like I wanted to help. I have been trained and work with a woman-centred approach, and my team specialises in women with previous birth trauma, which I was concerned all these women could experience. Particularly when they were calling out in pain I wanted to be there with them to provide at least a little comfort. But I had to be careful, as I’ve said previously my role here is mostly observational, and I can only provide minimal assistance, and it has to be when given permission by the midwives or doctors.

After the first woman was left on the bed to wait to be sutured, with her baby by the resuscitaire, being examined and dressed by the midwife, she caught my eye, she looked so worried I went over to her. I said your baby boy is beautiful, to which she showed she understood by repeating ‘beautiful’, I said he looks big, while making hand gestures, and she said ‘big boy!’ with a smile. She then reached for my hand and held onto it tight until a midwife came up to the bedside to get her ready for suturing. It was one of those ‘warm midwifey feeling’ moments, a ‘this is why I do this’ moment. Just by giving this woman a smile, and holding her hand, I hope I’ve made the experience a little more positive for her. It was heartwarming to see the look of love and pride on her face as she cuddled with baby after her suturing had finished.

Picture key:

1: Drs/Sister in charge office

2: Labour bed

3: Resuscitaire

4: Staff desk

5: Door to sluice/back room

[chlo3-aundra]

I had a hospital visit a couple nights ago. I went in there with the goal to figure out why I was throwing up a lot more then what I had been and why I had been running a fever. If it was the infection my obgyn had found or was it something else. I figure out I was really dehydrated. They put me on an IV for an hour to be rehydrated then they tested some of my urine for the infection the obgyn had found which was no longer there or they had misdiagnosed it since it was found out through a pelvic exam. Instead of it being a yeast infection it is now a uti so they put me on antibiotics (I double checked with them to see if it was healthy for the baby which it was). So now here I am haven't thrown up since the hospital visit Friday which it is now Sunday the IV made me feel 85% better which im very proud of myself for not fighting with then to stick a needle in my arm usually I have like 4 people holding me done to even get a shot in me. I freaked out at first started crying saying I was scared but then looked away and didn't even flinch. (Again I am 15 so don't hold me against it) The hospital told me to come back if I was really dehydrated again and I definitely will although the medicine they gave me made me feel like I was going to pass out and had my legs tingly the whole time under the iv and couldn't breathe when they put the medicine through the iv I breathed steadily through the reaction and ended up being completely fine after a minute or so. I've been keeping hydrated with Gatorade I had a little thing of juice today and a couple sips of sprite and I've been making sure I don't over eat and I've been trying to eat healthier with the fruits ive been craving like strawberries so added a teaspoon of sugar and a little whip cream to a bowl of strawberries and it was yummy now to get this infection gone and have a healthy mama and baby 🤰😊 (below is a pic of where they stuck the IV)

[lokbobpop]

Expression

Articulate; either verbally or with a cry, shout, or noise ("She expressed her anger") Synonyms: give tongue to, utter, verbalise, and verbalize. Give expression to. Synonyms: evince and show. Send by rapid transport or special messenger service ("She expressed the letter to Florida

late 14c., "represent in visual arts; put into words," from Old French espresser, expresser "press, squeeze out; speak one's mind" (Modern French exprimer), Medieval Latin expressare, frequentative of Latin exprimere "represent, describe, portray, imitate, translate," literally "to press out" (source also of Italian

Expression express sion exp ress sion ex press i on

Writing expression

What is my expression i dont really truly know yet im not sure im only just coming through now so its in development im creating from it now to bring more out so the mind doesn’t bring me back into it which i know out wont because i will always stand for myself now im worth it this planet and myself needs it so its agiven to do my best for myself but who am i dont know yet and its pretty exciting to find out my true nature what is here now feels great and i like being me within me and i can see its going to be pretty amazing for sure.

How I express myself is also much better like i its changed it snot so harsh angry than what it was before i express much better still work to be done but i see ive got this i will stand up every time in the lost mind because that is what the mind is lost it doesn’t know either or i wouldn’t keep me trapped as i have been it would realize hey we can all do this together my body mind and being i have no need to take over all the time.

Reading expression

I have some pretty bad expressions i mean ive had some real everlasting wants im embarrassed about admitting ive been rage hatred i have entertain so many things within me i see them now and i have to admit i saw them then i just didnt care to do anything with them and let them out and hurt people with them.

I feel in my expression im a bit straight forward blunt like if i see a problem ill just say it bluntly to my people that are close to me mostly or total stranger ill just say well its like this your like this and thats your problem without taking into factor how do they like bring talk to like this are they thinking you rude bitch lol and i dont care.

I find it tremendously difficult to express myself and i can now see this has had a big affect on me because i cant find the words in my mind to talk to another i dont have the info there to say i feel like this because of this this and this because i can’t remember why i feel like that so i just know this is what i believe and just have to say well this is it i cant tell you why because i cant actually remember wtf really how can you say this like if someone says what is this desteni all about i cant bring it to my mind i cant only say ho wi feel and what it has done for me which will have ot be enough you’ll have ot look because i dont have th words to but it all together.

My physical expression i feel because im big at the moment i might come over not so friendly i dotn know why something to look into i think i see bigger people being angry so i must be yes i do see fat people who are more angry less satisfied. But my physical expression must be someone who hasn’t looked after themselves very well as i have so many ailment i really do from head to toe there something wrong id like to clear them up starting with my thyroid that would be cool to have energy back weight off so i can walk swim and so on better not feel tired all the time.

Saying expression

Other people’s expression how i act to other people expression when they are angry especially i react to them back with anger especially my family the express it then i do or i do and they express it back to me when you look at it it fucking mental way too live hey shouting at each other i imagine these like needles come out of me or them and on these needles there’s little hooks and as they come out of the other person they hook onto and it resonates into me and i go off pretty technically stuff lol but thats ho wi see it so i need to see them pass through me i will see this over the next 4 days and see ho wit goes as because i usually forget or think i dont care they cant talk like that its shit way to talk.

I need ot learn a new way to express myself without words i feel because i have this and its not going to disappear with my beingness i see i need to find another way to express myself to other so they can see me hear me differently shall videos maybe at minute or two

When people have the most amazing expression like they are creative within it they draw paint create so many beautiful things and i do go into comparison of not being able to do what they can do but also not see what i am capable of and appreciating that also im just different maybe not so artist but i have a eye for different things i pick up from others and bring them all together.

The expression of anger on my dad face as i said im going to try and let that go within

How a flower has an expression a leaf how it expresses its self how i should see who i am in my own unique expression who am i embrace me and my expression i love me and my expression

Sf

Does this definition support me no being upset i cant really express like others comes up and ho wi hav etc find my own expression within me and create in a different way to others and how i react to others anger and my own anger and others reacting to that

Expression ex press i on

Expression

The unique person i am and who i will become the purest of myself

To be the best of me at all times to get up if i fall to embrace my own uniqueness

I will use this word to live my best expression to embrace all expression of myself and embrace whats ever happens to grow within my expressions

[barelynakedthoughts]

Wow, the past few days have been unreal. I last updated on Thursday in the morning soon after they had started pumping in pitocin. From 12pm, May 12th, until 5 am, May 14th, I was dealing with contractions. 41 hours of early labor and it only led to being dilated by 4cm.

I used a fitness orb, a fitness peanut, slow dancing, varying leg positions. Nothing pushed me into active labor. They kept saying to make it to 6cm and we'll be in the home stretch. The contractions got so strong throughout the day, too. I didn't want an epidural because I didn't want to do it so early. If the beginning took this long, can the ending really be that short? I wanted the baby in my arms but I knew he wasn't ready so I waited for him to give me a sign. (Note we can freely say pronouns now)

I believe at 10am on May 13th, they broke my water because I had made it to 4cm. It felt like things were moving so nicely! The doctor who came in at 6 am wa snot very comforting -made me cry. She gave me minimal answers and her visit was brief. Had I obtained the knowledge of inductions and labor that I have now, I would have been okay, but it was all so new to me and she was very curt after working her 24 hour shift. I wish she would do people favors and just not do those shifts. It would give her a better bedside manner. She basically gave me my first crying spell and I felt so desperate for four hours.

A new doctor came in soon after that. She reminded me of General Holdo from Star Wars, except I have no clue if she had purple-ish hair. Though Jackie, the nurse who talked a lot, had purple-ish hair. I could see it sticking out through her hair cap thing. Our room was always dark so I didn't really see much going on. Anyways, they broke my water and the contractions quickly turned into pain, pain and more pain. Not cramping pain, but pain nonetheless. I was on 2-30 levels of pitocin (whatever that means), and when the water broke, I was contracting every 1-2 minutes for hours on end. I breathed through all of them, dealt with the pain and kept my mind on the goal.

-----

I was thankful for the nurse we had the night before they broke my water, Shawna, because she knew how to just be there for me. When the new nurse came in after that terrible doctor visit, I wasn't all too thrilled cuz she talked a lot and overexplained things, but she at least made it very apparent that she cared. Shawna came back later in the evening, but she wasn't my nurse. She just knew that I liked her and she just wanted to help. It was a relief to have her there for a little bits she came in on.

-----

May 13th was like one last date day between Ryan and I. Besides the constant pain and regular contraction pauses, he and I just talked, hugged, watched Falcon and Winter Soldier, cried, laughed, and appreciated the other one being there. We barely got any rest. Though Ry was able to get a bit more than me, but not much. It was honestly a blurry of a day for me since I spent most of staring at focal points (the red light from the TV being turned off or Ryan's eyes or the up button for the bed or even this white piece on a red container on the baby's soon-to-be panda warmer). Im trying to write as much down as possible, but I know I'll miss a few things.

-----

As the day progressed, my energy level dropped substantially. I gave up my fitness orb life and I embraced bedrest for the first time in the pregnancy. Going to the bathroom was difficult and I was constipated. Stupid magical hemorrhoids that appeared two days before going in the hospital.

Those pesky IV issues got worse. As my pain increased, I had to deal with a 5 IVs. After the one in my elbow went off sixty thousand times, the nurse finally called the anesthesiology team to try another spot but with a deeper vein. She found it with an ultrasound, which was neat, and she had to really numb my arm to get it in there. It was the best IV, though. It really stuck in there and I only had minimal issues with the IV tower. Thank goodness because I was at my wits end at that point. Though Jackie ended up finish the IV and reconnecting my pitocin and fluid drips...she taped the IV to my hospital bracelet. So when anyone tried to scan it, I had to twist my arm painfully.

The one time, the food people came. I twisted my arm to have them read it, and they didn't even scan it....but we'll the damage was done. I had accidentally disconnected everything. The IV started gushing blood like a fountain and I just sat on my fitness orb with nothing much to do but hope it stopped soon...or that someone would come in. My husband actually had to go get someone because there was blood everywhere. All the while, I was contracting every 3 minutes at that point. So a fountain of blood just pushing out while squeezed my own legs. What a trip! The final IV sat in my arm up until May 15th...it was annoying to breastfeed with it in. I had to finish my toradol pain meds before it could come out.

-----

As the day went on, I kept contracting but nothing changed...at 10pm, they finally told us our options: more of the same or having a c-section. We were looking at a failed induction if we didn't progress to 6 cm by 5am, May 14th. At the point, it would have been 18 hours post my water being broke and the chance of infection would then steadily increase. I didn't take the news well and I cried. My night time doctor, who I had seen in the office and who is actually a midwife, was the one who broke the news. She tried to say it was natural to feel sad about this, but honestly...nothing was going to console me after here the word "failure".

Just like my sister, the pitocin failed. Before they officially said it failed, they did a pit rest (a 1-2 hour pitocin break) and then started the process at 2 levels again. We made it up to 10 levels before they called it at 430am. My cervix stopped at 4cm and there was no changing it. Though at that time, I had finally accepted the c-section. It was the right choice and it meant getting to see our baby sooner. We just needed to pray again for safety, healing and life...plus tell our families that I was having a c-section. They were wondering where we went for so long because I just cried for a while and asked that my husband not share anything until we were ready.

-----

The surgery was interesting. I wasn't really contracting anymore but I was exhausted, starving, shaking, and ready to be done. They wheeled me over without my husband so they could give me a spinal anesthetic, still no epidural. I sat there breathing in and out. Using yoga techniques to keep myself present and prepared for a flexible response. I hate the idea of needles going into my spine. I don't care about needles...it's the whole losing movement permanently issue. I need to be able to move and fidget to breathe calmly and react appropriately.

After they were finished, they slowly lowered me back. My legs went numbs and I started to shake uncontrollably. My teeth started chattering. It was if I was extremely cold so they put 3-4 warm blankets on me. I can't remember how many but I do know there were 5 total on me when all was said and done. They splayed my arms out like I was being crucified and I made sure not to move them beyond the shaking. I have no clue how long the procedure lasted but it was light outside when they were done. I believe it was less than an hour, but I honestly don't know. Time had become irrelevant yet so necessary by then. Time still hasn't recovered and it's been almost 3 weeks. (Note: I've been writing this on and off since the hospital stay.)

C-sections are weird. You're awake for the whole procedure and you can feel everything happening to you - the incision, the hands rooting around your insides for the baby, the baby coming out with their arms and legs hitting the sides of your open stomach as they leave, the uterus flopping around. There's just no pain involved.

When my baby came out, he didn't cry much, but when I heard his first squeal, my husband and I cried, too. He was finally here. Our baby boy was alive and well. A 7lb 5oz baby measuring at 20 inches even though he was a few weeks early. He was fully grown and ready to be with us. They measured him, cleaned him a little and got all his vitals while the doctors finished up with my stomach. They gave him to my husband to hold and I got to slightly touch the baby. I cried the whole time because of how happy I was. It was the most fulfilling moment and it was just the beginning of my son's life.

The surgeon was the OBGYN who recommended us to the fertility clinic three years prior, almost to the date. We had come full circle. She still has a weird bedside manner, but the whole thing was surreal. She did a good job and we all made it out safely. My husband was so nervous holding our baby. It was his first time ever holding a baby. I didn't want a c-section, but I was glad when everything was over. My legs remained numb for a while - a few hours I think? In order to graduate to the mother/baby unit and to eat, I had to be able to move my toes. It was a weird feeling to be able to move my arms and not my lower body. Around my incision, I'm still a bit numb there and apparently, I could be for a long time.

We took our first picture together and I look terrible, as if I had gone through pain for 3 days straight. My husband, the always photogenic one, looked great and our son could barely be seen. At least we have this family photo - even if no one else is allowed to see it. My body was still shaking. My shoulders were starting to hurt and feeling was coming back to my lower extremities slowly. They were prescribing me motrin, tylenol and oxy. I only took tylenol because the rest seemed frivolous. Sure, I was in pain, but nothing compared to the contractions and well, I survived all of that with just a tylenol here and there for headaches.

By about noon, I was starving by this point. It had been 30ish+ hours of early labor since I had last eaten. We ordered food (with some hiccups along the way) and finally got to eat when we arrived the mother/baby unit. It was then we started our four day stay of recovering, figuring out parenting, breastfeeding, and personal survival, and being interrupted every hour by nurses, doctors, consultants, social workers and who knows who else. I had only gotten about 2-3 hours of sleep in total during the 3 days of delivery. I matched this during the first few days of parenting, too. Even when I got home, I lived on 2 hours max for about three days straight. A week+ of no sleep really did me in. I was exhausted and finally got rest when I slept through a few alarms. Thankfully my husband took over that night because I needed it.

While in the mother/baby unit, our son had dropped about 10% of his birthweight. He was dehydrated and having a tough time pooping because of the weight loss. It was getting much milk because my nipples wouldn't stay erect while he was eating. Plus he kept falling asleep and it was hard to keep him demeanor.

A lactation consultant visited 6 times. I didn't like the first one, but then we lucked out with Renee for the rest of the visits. She was understanding and she didn't pressure us to breastfeed her way. She thought of different ways to encourage us and give solutions, such as a nipple shield or supplementing formula. Renee revealed that her oldest went through this as well and that it doesn't help when the hospital staff tells you how to do everything their way without listening to your needs. I commend her for her absolutely genuine care and reassuring assistance.

A few nurses were stellar (not Shawna awesome, but still great to have). Katie gave us our first few hours of rest. It also hurt his weight cuz I was delayed on the feedings, but she gave us swaddlers, extra blankets, shirts, etc. She also made sure to talk to us like we were humans and not patients who were leaving in a few days. Kristie was the first one to see me cry and she knew exactly what to do. She brought us the right sized nipple shield and flanges. She brought us a ton of formula. She helped ease my feelings of hopelessness transition into a sense of pointed purpose. The other nurses - Salimah, Anna, Natalie and a few others in the mother/baby unit were the best parts of the stay. Even if they all provided varying levels of care.

The doctors were too quick with their check-ins and I didn't really enjoy their presence. They had the best intentions but we felt like a mark on their checklist. I assume they have too much to do in one day.

The room was small for a three person family but large enough for everything we needed to do while there. Our baby had a little plastic tube of a bassinet with two drawers of storage. My husband had to sleep on the most uncomfortable couch out of the three he ventured on. I believe it was this one that he caught an ear infection from because he didn't use the bed setting. He used the regular couch setup because the bedding was slanting.

The bathroom was pretty big, though. I put many mesh underwear and large pads on in there. It's where a nurses used a perineal bottle on me and showed me how to use it. It's where I took my first post-surgery shower and found out my stomach was numb still. I liked our original room with the induction unit best because of the couch for my husband, and I loved the huge size of the labor/delivery room. The bathroom for the mother/baby unit was best. It was right next to my bed during a time when it was hard to walk. Plus it served as a dish washing site and a great place to rest from all the noises in a hospital.

I had a catheter in from the c-section and by the time they took it out, I was very hydrated. Peeing clear impressed the nurses who took it out - I guess it's the little odd things that make the day better.

My husband and I fought multiple times in the hospital and since coming home. We're exhausted. We don't fight often, but when we do, it is normally because one of us is tired...and well, we're always tired right now.

-----

It's now 6 weeks post delivery and our little guy is doing well. He's a tad under the weather (doctors says a cold), but otherwise he is 11 pounds and 22 inches long. He grows pretty fast so he may be heavier by now.

These last few weeks have been very tough and I've gone through a lot of emotions. It's a lot of work and we asked for it. We really wanted a child and now we're finding out how hard it is to raise one. Yet would I trade my son for anything? No. This shows how bad we wanted a child and also how much we are still willing to sacrifice in order to hold him for many more years. The birthing experience was not what I wanted, but he came home. That's all I prayed for...and it's exactly what we got. I can only be thankful to God for his life right now. My heart feels warm.

-----

This post took six weeks to write because I don't have much time anymore. Most of it was done while in the hospital, but some parts had to be completed or filled in afterwards. It barely covers everything that happened during our 6-day stay. It was a long and arduous time, and now we are met we an harder time of caretaking. Parenthood is so glamorized and I'm here to tell you how much it shouldn't be. The afterglow is wonderful and the heart fuzziness is neverending. No, seriously. I feel joy even when my son is crying and I don't know what to do to help. Yet, we paint pictures of cuddling babies and doing fun activities, but it's a lot more than that. Make sure you want a baby before having one. It's a lot of work to get to the time where they can take care of themselves alongside you. It's years of waiting for them to grow old enough to just pee on their on own. It's many days wondering if you're doing okay as a guardian. You just hope they survive your mistakes and your novice-abilities of taking care of a human life. As rewarding as it may be, you are forever changed. For at least the beginning parts, you will not have much time to do anything for yourselves besides eat and sleep, which is still something you lose and have to reteach yourself and your baby how to do at the same time.

I'm not complaining, just not being dishonest. I'd rather be open about my struggles than to sink in self-negligence. Sure, I probably have postpartum depression in a mild sense, but I am actively working to go beyond it. It's been tough to not have much time for myself, but I can't give up. I have to do this for my baby and for my husband. I have to keep going for myself, too. I owe it to me.

[feverhalo]

First posted fic! Its not the one ive had requested, or either of the two other I had started. Its just a quick little thing. I fell asleep today really early after getting back so I havent had a chance to work on those yet. Ill cross post this to ao3 sometime tomrrow. Im also great at titles. Warning to talk of needles/shots but other than that its pretty tame run of the mill whump.

—————————————

Post Immunization (fma fanfic)

Edward stomped into the office, dragging his coat along in his left hand. His automail hand was curled in a protective barrier around his left bicep. He shoved his chair back with his foot and threw himself into his seat.

“Not a damn word, you traitorous bastard” Edward spat as Mustang looked up at the flurry of activity. “One word, and Colonel or not I’ll end you.”

“Brother!” Alphonse chided, “You can’t take it out on everyone. They are working, too; I’m sorry for Ed being so angry-“

“Don’t apologise for me!” Ed glared at his brother. “It was a dirty trick.”

‘Whatever do you mean, Fullmetal?” Mustang leaned back, mouth quirking up even as Riza shot him a look. “It was of utmost importance, and very relevant to your quest to get your bodies back. Immunizations are important.”

Ed reached forward and grabbed some of the paper work on his own, rarely used, desk. He was limited in what he could do for the rest of the day, banned from sparring or getting into anything strenuous to avoid bruising and pain from the set of shots. He was basically stuck with sitting around, but if course Colonel Mustang planned to ruin his day to the last shred of freedom and insisted he come catch up on paperwork like the rest of them. He grumbled, mocking Mustang under his breath as he worked.

The Colonel frowned, Ed wasn’t rising to the bait anymore, and as much as he would love to throw in a good jab about the boy’s height or the fact he was still getting children’s immunizations, this wasn’t the time. Quarterly reports were coming up, and in true Mustang fashion there was a very steep backlog. So work continued on with the addition of an irritated Edward rubbing at his sore shoulder every now and again.

After some time, patience and energy dipped and the others took turns to get up and stretch or grab a refill on coffee. Edward had slumped forward, resting his cheek on the desk’s cool surface. Alphonse, who had previously been content to read quietly or chat a little whenever conversation arose struck up a quiet conversation with his brother.

“Come on Brother, I know this sort of paperwork is a hassle but yore nearly done.”

“Mmm,” Ed nodded, but thats all Mustang could make out from his desk. He missed out on the rest of the mumbled reply. He shifted getting ready to crack a smart remark, but Alphonse’s reaction stopped him from trying to get a rise out of Ed again.

“Do you need to lay down? You do look pretty tired,” he clanked quietly as he fussed, “Are you feeling alright?”

“Everything okay boys?” Riza stepped in after that little bit of eavesdropping.

“Brother?”

“Tired ‘s all. Stupid paperwork’s givin’ me a headache.” Ed straightened, bringing his messy hair and flushed face back into view.

Without hesitation, Riza reached forward to press the back of her hand to his forehead. Mustang couldn’t blame her, even he was taken back by how pale the alchemist looked under the deep red flush.

“Sir,” she half turned to address the Colonel. Ed pushed at her arm gently, using his automail to save his flesh arm the soreness of moving. “Sorry Edward, I didn’t mean-“

“So I do have a fever?” He rubbed at his eyes, no wonder it was getting to hard to stay upright and focused. Riza nodded, turning back to Roy.

“Lay on the sofa over there for a bit, see if it helps.” Roy motioned to the two seater pushed up against the wall. Ed stood up to do so, but stopped to brace himself using his desk for a long moment before stumbling over as if his shoes were undone. Alphonse followed to quietly fret, tossing his brother’s jacket over him as he curled up. Ed pressed his face into the back of the cushions as work resumed in the office.

“I’ve got a quick call to make, Lieutenant.” Roy picked up the phone and dialled the number of the paediatrician Hughes had suggested. No military doctor had the vaccines on hand that Ed was due for, as most everybody had gotten them at around age ten. It was a bit of a low blow to the boy’s pride as well, and one Roy was suddenly not so comfortable with.

“Hello, Doctor Leston’s office. How may I help you?” A chipper voice crackled across the line.

“Colonel Mustang,” he felt ill prepared for this conversation. “I had an appointment set up for an Edward Elric earlier today, as his technical guardian and commanding officer. I need to speak with the doctor regarding that visit.”

“Doctor Leston speaking, what seems to be concerning you today sir?” After the brief hold, Roy was surprised to hear such a young voice.

“Edward Elric was in earlier today for a series of immunizations,” he paused. “He’s feeling rather ill now, actually.”

“Oh, I am so sorry thats a shame. Is he having a rash reaction? Are you able to give me more information? There shouldn’t be many side effects to these vaccinations, but as I understand it is a rather special case with this boy. Being so far behind in them because of such a physically traumatic incident.” Her voice was kind, and she trailed off to allow him to answer.

“Hes got a rather noticeable fever. I’m afraid I don’t know how high exactly, but its interfering with his activities.” It was strange to have it so blatantly thrown at him- Ed was still very much a child. Here he was speaking to a child’s doctor, about a polio vaccine update most people got when they were aged nine or ten. And this was about is subordinate, the thirteen year old boy sleeping across the room.

“Oh! Goodness me, that is incredibly common; he’ll be fine. Many children get fevers after vaccinations. It shouldn’t last more than 24 hours, most don’t even last that long. Over the counter children’s pain and fever medication should be fine to use if he is uncomfortable. If at all possible, please keep an eye on it. I don’t usually get patients with automail, so I’m not too sure how differently it may effect him.”

“Ah, thank you. So its nothing to worry about?” he listened intently for a few more minutes as she relayed more information. “Alright. Thank you very much. If anything else happens may I call here again?… Yes if course, if it rises too high he will be taken to an emergency centre. Alright, thank you, you as well have a wonderful evening.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Mustang looked over to the sleeping boy. “He’ll need to be monitored tonight I suppose. Alphonse where are you two staying this time around?”

“We were going to stay with the Hughes family again this time, Gracia always asks us to whenever we mention we’ll be in the area.” He had half turned to look at Mustang as he responded. His large gauntlet still rested on his brother’s back, moving in small circles to try and offer as much comfort as he could.

“Hm. It shouldn’t be anything contagious, but I’m not so sure you two should go there with him ill. It would be too much, with their daughter.” Alphonse seemed to sag slightly, arranging a room somewhere wouldn’t be very easy as just himself. Edward usually managed to get around the issue of them not having an adult guardian because of his status as a Major. “I’ll get Hawkeye to drive you two back with me.” “Um? I’m sorry Colonel, I don’t follow.” Al’s voice was small, and it really reminded Mustang how young the boy really was. He felt about two inches tall after today, purposely trying to humiliate the boys by sending them somewhere that under other circumstances would be a totally normal thing for them.

“Its a one-time kindness,” He stood to gather his things. Hawkeye stood from her desk as well and went into motion, preparing her coat and fishing her keys from the top drawer. “He did everything I asked of him, and being in a house with an energetic little kid isn’t going to be easy on him. If you’d like to get your things together, follow Lieutenant Hawkeye down to the gate and we’ll meet you there.”

Alphonse did as he was told and gathered up the few belongings they had. He gave his brother another look before following Riza out of the office. Roy pulled his jacket on and silently thanked his subordinates for knowing when to keep their mouths shut and heads down as they continued to plough away at the stacks of reports.

“Fullmetal, time to wake up,” he stood over Ed sleeping on the sofa.

The boy barely stirred, but did roll enough for Roy to see the strands of hair plastered to his face with sweat. His face was glowing red and how he was twisted seemed incredibly uncomfortable, but he was still oblivious to the world around him. Sighing, Mustang crouched and manoeuvred Ed’s arms through his jacket sleeved and hoisted him up, staggering a little at the uneven weight distribution. After a small struggle, he had Ed on his back. The boy’s arms were slung loosely over his shoulders, and he held the small alchemist tight, tipping forward slightly so the boy wouldn’t fall backwards.

“Feel better, chief.” Jean called out quietly as Mustang made his way out of the office. Ed shifted and hummed, not committing to waking up but hearing enough to know he was being talked to.

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (117/155)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

Strange was on the ground but he was awake and Peter stood a few feet away, the iron legs gone back into the suit and his mask pulled back. The cape flew away from Peter where Peter had been greeting it to Strange as Tony approached and let the nanotech in the suit pull back entirely as he walked towards them.

“We’ve got to turn this ship around,” Strange said.

It was Tony’s first instinct too. Figure out how to turn the ship around and go back home. It was sort of his main instinct because Peter was on the ship. The only thing was that he didn’t know if they could or if it was the right thing to do. Maybe there was something to the idea of catching Thanos unaware because the last thing that he was probably expecting was for them to show up wherever the ship was headed. After all, they were already headed to space so maybe they just needed to stick with that trajectory since Strange had gotten them into this situation in the first place by not leaving when he could have.

“Stark, we have to turn the ship around.”

“Yeah. Now he wants to run. Great plan,” Tony muttered.

“No,” Strange grounded out. “I want to protect the stone.”

Tony really just -- he hated how arrogant Strange was even after Tony had gone to the trouble of saving his life. He headed towards what looked to be the controls of the ship.

“And I want you to thank me. Go ahead. I’m listening,” Tony added as he walked away.

“For what? Nearly blasting me into space?” Strange asked as if he hadn’t been surrounded by needles just a few minutes earlier.

It was as if he wasn’t taking into consideration at all that Tony and Peter had had to leave Earth to save him because he and the Time Stone around his neck had gotten captured and taken onto an alien ship.

“Who just saved your magical ass?” Tony asked and he turned because he knew that Strange had walked after him. “Me.”

“I seriously don’t know how you fit your head into that helmet,” Strange said and Tony thought that he must have said it solely to irritate him. He really couldn’t stand this man.

If Strange had only listened to Tony while they were on Earth when Tony told him to leave it was possible that they wouldn’t be in the situation they were finding themselves in now on some alien ship in space headed to -- well, Tony had no idea where they were headed.

“Admit it,” Tony said. “You should have ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.”

Dr. Strange scoffed and it was clear that he was too arrogant and too determined to disagree with Tony and at least bickering with him took his mind off of worrying about Peter and the outcome of the situation they were in. From the looks of it it the ship was on some sort of autopilot. Tony had no way of knowing where it was headed but there was certainly a destination.

“Unlike everyone else in your life,” Strange said, “I don’t work for you.”

“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying donut billions of miles away from Earth with no backup.” That was the part that really rankled Tony if he was honest. He had no way to contact the team -- to let them know what was going on or that they were okay. No way to figure out a plan together and really decide what their best choice would be. They were on their own. He and Peter were on their own with Strange.

“I’m backup,” Peter spoke up from behind Strange.

Tony didn’t want to be angry with Peter. He didn’t want to be upset at him for staying on the ship when Tony had been sending home and yet it was there under the surface because Tony had to think about the universe as a whole and his mind just kept going back to protecting his kid because to him that was the most important thing and yet -- Peter’s well being couldn’t be the priority. Not this time.

“No,” Tony said, addressing Peter, “you’re a stowaway.” And for good measure he pointed at himself and Strange. “The adults are talking.”

Peter’s shoulders dropped a little and he looked like he was ready to argue back, but he seemed to rethink it.

“I’m sorry,” Strange said. He was looking between him and Peter with some interest. “So, I’m a bit confused as to the relationship here. What is he? Your ward?”  

“No,” Peter said. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” Tony said. “After all, everyone knows I have a son.”

Granted, most people didn’t know that his son was Peter and that his son was Spider-Man, but Strange wouldn’t care one way or another.

Strange grunted. “I don’t actually follow your media coverage, Stark,” he said. “So this is your son, then?” Strange looked Peter over, seemingly taking the moment to really look at him before he let out a breath. “I’m Doctor Strange,” he said directing it at Peter.

Tony busied himself looking at the controls of the ship, trying to figure out how they worked and what they might need to do to get control of the ship and maybe get it off of autopilot too.

“Oh,” Peter said, “we’re using our made-up names. Um, I’m Spider-Man, then.”

Tony tried not to laugh. He wasn’t sure if Peter had said it because he was serious or because he was getting some amusement out of confusing Strange.

“The ship is self-correcting its course,” Tony informed them. “It’s on autopilot.”

Tony still wasn’t sure if they should head back home. The father in him said yes -- that it was the best thing to do. It would mean being back somewhere familiar where they could figure out what to do with the Time Stone. It would also mean having Peter back on Earth and having the option of trying to keep Peter out of trouble. But he couldn’t make that decision based solely on what was best for Peter. He couldn’t be a dad -- he couldn’t be Tony Stark about it. He had to be Iron Man -- he had to be an Avenger.

“Can we control it? Fly us home?” Strange asked.

Tony didn’t answer. What were the better odds? Thanos would come for the stone no matter where they were and with him destruction and death.

“Stark?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you get us home?” Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to badly.

“I heard you,” Tony said. “I’m -- I’m thinking -- well...I’m not so sure we should go back.”

Tony knew that as soon as he said it that Strange didn’t agree and that he didn’t understand what Tony meant by it.

“Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos,” Strange said. “I don’t think you quite understand what’s at stake here.” He got in Tony’s face, anger and fear so obvious in the way he stared at Tony and it was so demeaning and pushy and of course Tony understood. He understood better than anyone.

“No, it’s you who doesn’t understand,” Tony shot back. “Thanos has been inside my head for six years! Since he sent an army to New York and now he’s back and I don’t know what to do. So, I’m not so sure if it’s a better plan to fight him on our turf or his, but you saw what they did. What he can do. At least on his turf, he’s not expecting it. So, I say we take the fight to him.”

He had decided. He was sure it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. Tony stared at Strange and at least the man was smart enough to take Tony’s words and think on them and not just shove them aside like everything else Tony had said.

“Doctor, do you concur?”

Strange took a moment and then there was a slight nod even though Tony could tell that Strange wasn’t entirely sure. “Alright, Stark. We go to him.”

Was it a good plan? Tony wasn’t sure -- it just seemed like the thing to do. Because if they could turn the ship around -- assuming they could even manage that -- it wouldn’t exactly lead them away from the fight. Tony started to turn away from Strange, but Strange stopped him and he looked almost apologetic in the way he stared at Tony. He glanced back towards Peter once before speaking.

“You have to understand,” Strange said, “if it comes to saving you or your son or the Time Stone -- I will not hesitate to let either of you die. The fate of the universe depends on it.”

Peter let out a gasp. Small and almost silent. Tony tried not to react with anger.  

“Good,” Tony said. “Nice moral compass you got there.”

Strange looked away and Tony stepped back too and then he looked towards Peter. Too loyal and too wonderful Peter who should have been back on Earth safe and sound. Tony would have felt so much better about this decision if Peter wasn’t there. He hated the idea of bringing Peter along to this fight -- to face a threat worse than any they’d ever faced before. Peter had moved over, closer to the controls which he looked at with curious interest.

Tony dropped a hand to Peter’s shoulder and Peter just moved into a hug almost instantly as if it were instinct to him and Tony didn’t mind it at all. Peter’s arms wrapped around Tony’s middle and he was warm and breathing and alive and Tony could hear his heartbeat and it was enough. Tony pressed a kiss to Peter’s head and he closed his eyes and let himself imagine that they weren’t on an alien ship and instead back home and none of it was true.

“Love you, kid,” Tony said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen,” Peter whispered.

“I know.” And he did. He could tell that Peter felt sorry -- he maybe didn’t regret his actions completely, but he hated disappointing Tony. “It’s -- I don’t know if I’d say it’s okay but there’s nothing to be done now.”

“I know,” Peter said.

When Tony looked up he found that Strange was watching them.

Chapter One Hundred Eighteen

[lilacdarkcircles]

something personal

about a month ago i found out something terrifying. i noticed i was gaining weight fast and my body was taking tolls left and right. i was in the stall at forever 21 when i decided a walmart trip was needed. i bought what i needed and ran to the bathroom. i took the most life changing test of my life. i was pregnant. naturally being 18 and not even in a full year relationship with my boyfriend, my best friends’ immediate reaction was “don’t worry you can just get an abortion”. i’m sure in their mind it wasn’t too big of a deal. it’s something with a solution and that was that.

i went to my boyfriends house that night. i told him in person and cried in his arms. he’s 20 years old and we both agreed we never wanted kids. but when i looked at him he was smiling. i felt a blanket of relief. we told a close friend of ours and she agreed to take me to the hospital the following day to confirm. she asked me what i wanted to do with it and told me “its okay” when i said i truly didn’t know.

the pricked my finger and made me pee in a cup. in pennsylvania you cant outright say “im pregnant test me” at your local hospital so i complained about typical symptoms of pregnancy. they tested me for all sorts of things that (thankfully) came back negative. the only positive test was that i was for sure pregant.

next came the questions and appointments. i was on birth control that i started about late october. i didnt take the placebos so i hadn’t had a withdrawal bleed (its what your “period” is while on birthcontrol) so honestly there was no telling how far along i was. i was scared and with so much going on i decided it would be best not to keep it. i scheduled an appointment at planned parenthood for the following friday. i was sure i was at least 6 weeks but i doubted i was any further than 13. unfortunately, pennsylvania law requires you watch an educational video about the abortion process, including risks and alternatives like adoption. i was worried it would be conservative propaganda telling me i’m killing my baby and i’m the worst person alive. thankfully that wasn’t the case but the anxiety leading up to it was terrible. the day of my appointment was the worst. it felt more and more real and while i’ve spent my whole life being pro choice and recognizing the difference between a baby and a clump of cells i still felt guilty. i got my finger pricked, peed in a cup, and finally the invasive ultrasound. they shoved the prong up me with little warning. it hurt like hell and gave me triggers to my r*pe as a child. the woman doing my ultrasound was cold and sounded annoyed as she continued. after 10 minutes of reading the screen, without even glancing at me, she said “you’re 17 weeks so we’ll get you a referal to a different clinc. you’re finished here.” i couldn’t breathe. i cried and gasped for air and i was scared and confused. the refunded me most of my money and sent me on my way. protesters shoved their pamphlets in my face as i left the building. i got to the car and called my boyfriend. we spent the rest of the day at the zoo and the local cat shelter. my boyfriend and our friend tried their hardest to comfort me and make sure i was doing okay.

i called a scheduled my appointment at the new clinic. it would be the following friday and since i was so far along the price went from $530 to a whopping $1400. abortion services aren’t covered by insurance in pennsylvania and theres very little funding. i felt trapped and it felt like a sign. it was another obstacle i had to face for a baby i secretly wanted to keep. i told my two best friends about my feelings on the subject and they both simply said “you cant keep a baby youre too young”. i felt crushed and unsupported, even if they were right. my boyfriend held me as i cried and told me every chance he could get that it was my choice and he would support me no matter what.

a few days before my appointment i got a call from the new clinic. my anesthesiologist couldn’t make it in on my scheduled date and they couldn’t find a replacement. i felt myself snap. i was showing at this point and my body was breaking. i could feel the baby moving inside me and it was starting to feel less like a clump of cells and more like a fetus. my heart was breaking and this made me wish further and further to keep it. unfortunately i had gotten drunk and smoked pot and was on birth control for 3 out of the 4 months i was pregnant so even keeping the baby had so many risks. my boyfriend and i are broke and we have a month long trip planned for out of country in august. there were so many obstacles with both deciding to keep it vs an abortion i was feeling more and more trapped. i rescheduled for a different appointment and it would now be a two day process.

the week approching my appointment was strangling me. i relapsed and cried myself to sleep. i wanted to keep it so badly but i knew i couldn’t live with myseld bringing a baby into my world that wasn’t anywhere near functional or ready. my boyfriend was incredibly supportive and held me while i cried. he promised me he would be here and happy if i decided to keep it. i spent every day at his house and he rubbed my belly and brought me water. he helped me around and gave me vitamins and medicine i needed for nausea and pain. my belly was getting bigger and i resorted to baggy tshirts to hid it from friends and family we didn’t feel comfortable telling. my boyfriend researched everything possible about the risks of abortion, the risks it could have of futher pregnancies, and the risks the baby would face if we kept it. he became a medical genius in a very short amount of time so he could offer me comfort in every paranoid thought that crossed my mind.

three days before my appointment i snapped. keeping the baby was the only thought in my mind. i begged my boyfriend to make the decision for me. i know it sounds unusual and probably wrong but i felt like my opinion was jaded. i was carrying the baby and i’m sure feeling it move made me feel more and more guilty. after hours of talking we officially decided we couldn’t keep it. we were going to try in a few years and be more prepared. we’re do everything right and watch my diet and make sure there was no trace of drugs, alcohol, or nicotine in my system. i felt my heart break a little but i knew our decision was the right one.

day one of my appointment: dilation

*trigger warning: sexual abuse description*

i arrived at the clinic at 8:45am. i spent most of the morning in and out of rooms getting my blood taken, peeing in cups, signing papers, etc. i got my second ultrasound (done normally this time, no invasive stick) and i was 19 weeks and 4 days. paying was a hassle. since they predicted i would be 20 weeks i would’ve gotten funding. my entire procedure would’ve been only $960 but i missed the 20 week mark. total came out to $1260 and unfortunately i had to borrow money from my dad’s girlfriend. after paying i was back to the waiting room. next was going to be dilation. no one had told me how exactly it would happen and what they were going to do but i didn’t think it would be terrible. they called my name and i followed them to the procedure room. i undressed and put on a gown. they laid me on a chair and put my legs up on leg rests. the doctor came in and told me he would be putting his fingers inside me. i was terrified but i was ready. he wasn’t gentle and i really wasn’t taking it well. i started crying but i tried my best not to be obnoxious. (the following im about to describe may be inaccurate because i honestly wasnt told what he was doing but i believe i figured it out by what i was feeling.) next he shoved some device inside me and started opening me so he could insert the dilators. i screamed and cried and the nurse had take my finger out of my mouth because i was so close to biting it off. next were the dilators. one by one he clamped them inside me. before each one he would say “here comes another cramp you’ll be okay” and i could feel my whole body go into shock. i screamed in a way i’ve never heard myself do before and my body took me back. flashes of the r*pe i had gone through when i was 9 flooded my head and i couldn’t take it. when he was finished the nurse walked me into the recovery room, gave me antibiotics, gingerale, pretzels, information on the next 24 hours and sent me home. the rest of the day was spent laying in bed. i had diarrhea and vomiting. i was dizzy and experiencing the worst cramps of my entire life. i didn’t think i would make it through the night.

day two of my appointment: the abortion itself

i got to the clinic. i was scared but really all i wanted was the dilators taken out. i signed the last bit of papers acknowledging the risks and the biggest question “is your decision final?”. i sat in the waiting room and they called me back. they stabbed my arm with a needle seven times unable to catch the vein. they needed to hook me up to an iv. i took some medication and sat in the recovery room for two and a half hours. the chair was uncomfortable and i had no heating pad. peeing was painful and i wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything. finally they called me back and i laid back on the table and i couldn’t stop shaking. my whole body was in shock and never felt my body move so much. i was out immediately and woke up later back in the recovery room. the diaper they put on me wasnt on all the way but i was too out of it to care. i bleed all over the chair and my gown and my lega. i cried asking where my cat and my boyfriend were and i was so exhausted i was in and out of sleep. they gave me antibiotics and gingerale and sent me home. i cried the entire ride home and crawled back into bed blood covered and crying.

this experience has no lesson. there is no beautiful outcome or something to be learned. im physically and mentally damaged from everything and guilt is weighing me down day by day. i hate being around anyone aside from my boyfriend and i want to block out the past month’s events. making the decision to abort isn’t easy and neither is the process. keeping a baby isn’t easy especially when you spent most of your pregnancy intoxicated. i don’t think i will ever truly move forward from this.