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kimberly-spirits13 · 1 year ago

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Please Don't Leave (Fear Gas)

Jason Todd x vigilante reader

Synopsis: After returning from a mission to take down an organization similar to the one that trained you to be a powerful assassin when you were little, all you want to do is shower. Life is peaceful waiting for Jason to come hime until you get a call from Stephanie saying that Jason was blasted with fear gas.

Warnings: Mentions of needles, IV's, trauma, death, PTSD, that kind of stuff

FYI: Reader was raised in a Red Room type place and has powerful magic but it's not a super important part of the story, it's just mentioned

Word Count: 2488

It was late at night, and you were winding down to shower and go to sleep. Tonight, was your night off after being away on a short mission for the League. You were tired and sore all over, and all you wanted to do was freshen up and wait for your boyfriend to come home so that you could sleep. Jason was meant to be home in around 20 minutes, and you were waiting for him to come back. Steam from the shower filled the room and you stepped into the shower and closed the door behind you. The lather of your shampoo in your hair made a bubbling feeling on your scalp and the smell of your shampoo created a calming feeling around you. Ease washed down your spine as you turned washed the shampoo from your face and started conditioning your hair when your phone suddenly lit up. You wiped your eyes and got the conditioner out of the way so that you wouldn’t get it in your eyes. The caller ID read “Steph” and a feeling of dread creating a gaping pit in your stomach.

“Hey Steph.” You answered, “What’s wrong?”

“Are you in the shower, not on patrol?” She asked, “Never mind, just, Jason got hurt bad and we need you at the Manor ASAP.”

“Okay I’m coming, uh-“ A sense of urgency got you moving faster than you’d want to be at this hour, “what happened, what’s wrong?”

“Scarecrow bust gone wrong. He created a new toxin that is more intense than usual. It makes you relive physical feelings with phantom pain.” “We’re five minutes ETA from the cave. Jason keeps calling out for you and it’s the only way to lower his heart rate before he has a heart attack. He’s reliving the night in the warehouse Y/N.”

“Okay, okay I’m coming” You got choked up talking to her.

Realizing that your sense of dread was right, you put Steph on the speaker and started washing the rest of your conditioner as fast as possible. There was no time for drying your hair and you got into clothes as fast as possible as Stephanie explained what was going on. You started running towards your door and grabbed the emergency duffle bag that you kept in the closet in case something like this happened. Sprinting towards the front door in a cold sweat, you locked it and realized that your lights were still on.

“Lumine off (lights off)!” You snapped a finger towards your lights and the apartment went dark.

You held onto your bag and took a breath, closing your eyes and thinking about Wayne Manor, “suscipe me huc (take me here).”

It was quiet all the sudden, with a breeze filling the room around you and a bright light dropping you on your feet. When you opened your eyes again, you were in the living room of the manor where you suspected someone would be.

“Ms. Y/N!” Alfred stood with a quick bewilderment, clearly expecting you to use the front door and not the living room as an entrance, “Master Todd is in the cave. I shall lead the way.”

You and Alfred started for the cave, your bag still in hand and anxiety becoming more and more intense. Alfred pressed a button into the clock and an elevator was revealed. Starting into the elevator first, you pressed the button for the cave before Alfred had a chance to.

“Sorry about the scare Alfred.” You said suddenly realizing that you had startled the sweet man.

“Oh no worries. I’ve plenty a fright with this gaggle of vigilantes.” He said this with a smile in his voice, trying to make you feel less intense.

You gave him a smile before returning to a worried, slightly stoic expression. When the bell chimed and the elevator door opened, you ran towards the med bay where you saw Dick and Bruce hauling Jason to the table. Jason’s eyes were rolling back into his head, and he was coming in and out of consciousness. You ran over and helped support his body weight so that you could be close to him. Jason was screaming something about the Joker. He was flinching and convulsing like he was being hit repeatedly. As Dick and Bruce hauled him closer to you, trying not to get punched.

“We got him here as fast as we could, he got a direct hit jumping to stop Scarecrow from releasing the gas into the water supply.” Dick explained as you held onto Jason and Bruce barked out orders to everyone around.

“Okay, alright, Jason, look at me babe Jay!” you set him down on the table and held him up by his sides, “Jay I’m here, you’re okay, you’re alright. Hey, hey! Calm down, you can do it love. Breathe for me, you’re okay I promise.”

Jason held his head up and looked at you with bloodshot eyes. His pupils were blown out and he was shaking with cold sweat.

“Y/N/N?” He muttered out quietly in sobs, “I need you; I need you. Help me.”

“I’m right here Jay, lay down. Breathe for me Jay.” You started pushing him back lightly so that Dick could hook him to an IV and get antidote going.

Dick came up behind you and got the shot ready for Jason when Jason’s eyes went wider than you thought possible, and he started pulling you towards him and screaming like he was being set alight.

“Y/N, no!” Jason shrieked and started throwing punches towards Dick like he was fighting for his life, “Get away from her Joker!”

Dick ducked behind you and away from Jason’s sight, realizing that Jason was hallucinating again. The poking of the IV and Jason being pushed backwards caused him to grab onto you and start screaming hysterically. A look of absolute terror filled his face, and he started calling for you again screaming for help.

“No please! Y/N where are you?” Jason started flailing around and you called for Dick to get a sedative since he couldn’t handle being laid down.

“Jay, honey I’m right here, right here. Joker isn’t here, you’re okay. I’m okay.” You grabbed his cheeks with your hands and pulled his face towards you. To relax him as much as possible ran your thumb over his cheek and pushed the hair in his face out of the way. Jason held your arm as gently as he could, even in as much stress as he was in, and looked at you like you were a lifeline.

Dick came over and injected a sedative into Jason’s arm while you were keeping him distracted. Jason shot his eyes over to where he felt a pinch on his arm and started gasping for air like he was dying. It was like he was reliving his death all over again. His eyes shot back to you, and he started crying harder.

“Please don’t leave me. I’m going to die, please stay with me.” He cried to you.

“It’s okay Jason, I’m not leaving, I’m right here, you’re okay. Close your eyes and breathe for me Jay.” You ran your fingers through his hair as his labored breathing became less and less abrasive.

“Don’t leave me.” Jason’s eyes dropped shut one last time and he went limp on the table. It was quiet in the cave again.

You didn’t let go of Jason’s face and tears welled in your eyes before you blinked them away and sniffled. Dick was still standing next to Jason monitoring his pulse which was now evening out as much as it could.

“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened I-“ Bruce came over to you and laid a hand on your shoulder. His mask was off, and you could tell that he had cried at one point. He was upset seeing Jason reliving everything that he had been through, just as the rest of you were.

“It’s okay Bruce, it’s not your fault.” You sighed heavily, realizing that your hair was still dripping from your shower, “Where’s Scarecrow now?”

“You’re not going after him.” Bruce said, “GCPD has him under tight supervision in Arkham.”

“He should be in Black Gate and not some mental asylum. He knows what he’s doing.” You said, “And you know his gasses don’t affect me anymore B.”

“I know that but-“ You cut Bruce off before he could finish.

“Besides I promised Jason, I wouldn’t leave him, and I hold fast to my promises.”

Bruce nodded, “Tim, Damian, and Cass made sure he didn’t get away. Damian reportedly put Crain in a temporary coma.”

“Maybe Crain won’t wake up.” You muttered under your breath as you took Jason’s hands in yours.

Tim came inside the cave along with the rest of the heroes. “How’s he doing?”

“His vitals have stabilized, we narrowly avoided him going into cardiac arrest.” Dick reported, “we should clean his wounds and get him out of his uniform.”

“Antidote hasn’t fully kicked in yet, we need to wait before he’s not under the influence of toxins anymore.” You said, “removing the IV will trigger another attack.”

“Someone needs to watch him too. Incase his vitals flip, or he wakes up.” Tim said, “Who takes first shift?”

“I’ve got shifts.” You said, “Go hit the hay.”

“Y/N, you can’t stay here alone.” Dick said, “Someone can stay with you.”

“That’s fine, but either way, I’m not leaving.” You spoke.

“You have to sleep at some point, eat, use the bathroom.” Dick was trying to convince you to get to sleep. He knew that your mission was arduous and had to have taken a toll on you. The League had called you on a mission to help locate and dismantle a group of assassins, like the ones you were trained with as a child, using magic to increase the abilities and reach of the organization. You were the most familiar with the group’s tactics, and the most powerful member in the league to deal with this, so naturally, you were sent. The mission took a mental toll of you because of the similarity it had to your childhood, and you needed the rest to recuperate.

“Dick it’s okay. We don’t need two people going manic over nightmares tonight and if I need something; I can literally wave my fingers to make it happen.” You waved your fingers around, creating a blue hued light around them to prove a point.

Not wanting to continue to argue, Dick subsided and went to hit the showers with everyone else before coming back downstairs to keep you company. He had brought you a blanket and another little pillow, knowing that you wouldn’t get up and leave Jason.

A few hours later Jason was dressed into something more comfortable that wasn’t his suit and his wounds were disinfected and stitched where they needed. You had fallen asleep and woken up a few times while keeping watch. A day had passed since Jason’s run in now and you were exhausted. One of the times that you had woken up, you realized that Jason was stirring. You looked at him, watching for signs that he was waking or going back to sleep. Looking at the time, you saw that it was 2:46 AM. The blue light from the Bat Computer lit up the cave gently.

“Y/N?” Jason called out quietly while moving himself to where he thought you were.

“Hey Jason.” You said quietly, “I’m right here love.”

“Did I die?” He asked, searching for an answer in your face.

“No Jay, you didn’t. You’re right here, you’re okay Jay.” You said, tears starting to well in your eyes again.

“Don’t cry Y/N.” He lifted his arm and whipped under your eyes, “You know, I didn’t want to see you again like this doll.”

You let out a small laugh through your nose, smiling a little, “you scared me so much Jay.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, I never try to. I’m so sorry Y/N/N.” He looked sad very suddenly as he was still watching your every move.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. You were just doing your job.” You gave him a knowing look, “At least I was back in town.”

“I missed you.” Jason worked his hand up your arm and sat up to kiss you before groaning in pain.

“I missed you too, now lay down before you bust your stitches.” You helped him lay back down before nestling your head into your crossed arms on the side of the bed.

“You know that does not look comfortable at all babe.” He said, starting to coax you onto the Med Bay bed he was laying on, “It’s also cold in here. Are you cold? I’m cold.”

“If this is your way of telling me you want me to sleep with you in that cot, you could have just said.” You stood up and helped Jason scoot over a bit.

The quiet hum of the Bat Cave was the only thing that filled the room, along with the soft beeping of the heart monitor. Jason’s breathing was steady, and you thought he was asleep until he started talking again.

“Were you here the entire time?” He asked, glancing towards you.

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you.” You said, “I don’t break my promises with you.”

“Y/N, you know you didn’t have to.” Jason looked guilty, like he committed a crime in keeping you with him.

“No, no, I needed to stay with you Jay. I couldn’t leave you alone the way you were. I didn’t want you to wake up alone in this place.” You explained, grabbing onto his hand.

“I would have found you.” He said softly.

“That’s the problem. You would have hurt yourself while going looking.” You smirked some, laughing to yourself slightly.

“I can’t argue with that.”

“How was your mission?” He asked rubbing circles in your palm.

“It was… a lot.” You sighed, “That was not horrible to relive again at all.”

There was sarcasm in your voice to hide your hurt when you spoke about the mission.

“I know the training you’ve gone through, intense enough that the fear gas doesn’t work on you.” Jason said, “you’ve seen enough that nothing scares you much anymore.”

“Well, you dear, scared the ever-living life out of me.” You poked his side.

“I’m sorry.” Jason was endearing and serious now.

“Jason it’s okay.” You looked at him with intensity, “You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you, not upset with you.” “I love you, Jay.”

“I love you Y/N.” he said with a softness.

Silence drifted over the two of you, and eventually, you were confident enough to fall asleep when Jason had finally drifted asleep. In the morning, you’d worry about sorting out affairs and making sure Jason was alright so that you could go get a good shower after your mission.

#dc x reader #dc comics #dc characters #batfam x reader #batboys x reader #batfam #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader fluff #jason todd fluff #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #red hood x you #red hood x reader #red hood x y/n #red hood imagine #red hood fluff

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reorientation · 5 months ago

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zyn anon. sorry again for the long ass updates I shall stop unless I get pregnant lmao.

speaking of, have more faith in me 😭 Ive been playing it mostly safe. kinda. I don't have to stop smoking and i dont want to 😒 and all this is mostly reversible unless he gets me pregnant, so I'm a lil more cautious. and im not pregnant i checked a few days ago, not because of a pregnancy scare but just paranoia lol im definitely a dumb whore tho. we've discovered he has a breeding kink. LMAO. lol. im so fucked

anyway so, as it turns out I was right about lacking self control.

he went on a camping trip for a few days, and i was really pent uppp and so was he lol. and when i came over to his place, almost immediately horny brain took over. we just started kissing on the couch, and took it to his room. thankfully his roommates still on holiday. i got so desperate and pathetic, i begged him to fuck me even though no iud yet. he was definitely enthusiastic lol. he only took his pants off enough to take his cock out. he also ripped my panties 😒 he went to grab a condom from the night stand,

he was like "gotta play it safe now aha" and i was like

"no. go bare. 🗿"

he didn't even question it, i was so wet and i felt how easily his cock slid on me before entering.

he only ever went raw a handful of times even before my failed vow of celibacy. since he thought it was dumb for me to get plan B even if he swore he didn't cum at all in me. other than that one time. he'd tell me when he's close, and immediately pull out to finish on me.

but this time it was so primal, being skin to skin and that bare and close was insane. he had a hand on my hip, and he'd basically pull me back down on his cock but fuck lol it just felt so strong. we stopped at one point, i was still all the way on his cock and on top of his lap but no riding. is that cockwarming?

idk but I want to do it again. i felt his dick like. move inside of me during that. all we did was make out but it was way too hot.

anyway, he pushed me on my back and told me he was close, as predicted, I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me.

i told him to get me pregnant 😭

i wasn't thinking properly and I got scared immediately after saying it. i was worried it was gonna put him out of the mood but it did the opposite 😭😭 he asked smth like "oh, you wanna have my kids?" and omfg he kept mumbling about it. telling me to take it all deep, telling me hes gonna get me pregnant.

i came so hard, and only with penetration. it was such a weird feeling, and before i could become rational and tell him its just a prank. pull out. it was over, he came in me while mumbling about knocking me up 😭😭 i was short circuiting lol. and it was different than last time. it felt more shakey, and he kept doing these small thrusts after I think most of his cum was already pressed deep, and then he just settled all in me. he was soft by the time he pulled out, i was way too hazed out ngl

he came a lot. some started to drip down when he pulled out, and i felt him finger it back in me.

he said he didnt nut the whole trip, and was saving his cum for me. he knew id be too horny and impulsive to make good decisions. 😒.

as it turns out, he has a big thing for breeding, but was scared to tell me incase i took it a bad way.

im terrified of having a partner who gets off on the idea of getting me pregnant but I can't stay away.

i complained that id have to wake up so early to run out and get plan B, and buying it will be expensive.

so he told me to just not get it then. and I'm like .. well .. I'm not on any birth control and im full of cum .. like maybe risking it be a bad idea. ironically, like you had once suggested, he suggested I leave it up to chance.

I did take plan B after. twice lol. im still really anxious, but incredibly horny and I didn't know both could exist at once

he's arrogant now too. ill go over after work and when we're about to fuck, ill ask him to wrap it. and he's like "nah, don't feel like it tonight". he also threw out his condoms. but even if i bring my own he doesn't use them 😒

my birthcontrol method was to start riding him when he's about to get close, and pull off before he's about to cum. but he caught on and now just grinds me down on him as he's cumming

i told him about my detrans kink and he leans heavyy in it. or he probably is just an actual straight man. he reminds me daily that he can't believe i ever thought i was a boy. he doesnt even say it in a kinky way like he just means it. lol :/

im pretty much always thinking about it. everytime he finishes in me, im stuck dripping his cum for two days, and im still paranoid that ill be carrying more than just his cum from this blip up lol. and also, you taught me more about post nut clarity right. he told me to risk it maybe half an hour after he came. surely hed have post nut clarity and not actually want a baby, right?its weird to feel fear and horny at the same time.

(Previously)

have more faith in me 😭

I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me. i told him to get me pregnant 😭

Oh, I certainly have faith in you, Anon. I know you're going to do just what you're supposed to. 🖤

Come on, sweetheart. Do you really expect to make it out of this without him putting a baby in you? You begged for him to knock you up, took a week's worth of his cum in your unprotected pussy, and then just lay there blissed out and hazy while he made sure every drop ended up inside you.

Sure, you took Plan B afterwards. But now he knows what kind of girl you are, and that you won't stop him from keeping you full of his cum. Sooner or later, you'll be ovulating, and you'll conceive for him.

And that makes you dripping wet, doesn't it? Knowing that your straight boyfriend, who never thought of you as anything except a girl, is doing his damnedest to give you a baby bump. That you already came off T for him, and now you're taking his load in your fertile pussy whenever he tells you to.

When the day of your IUD appointment comes, I hope he just holds you down and fucks his cum into you, instead of letting you go. Clearly, he'd be justified: you can't possibly claim to be a reliable source on what you really want.

You thought you wanted to be a boy, but you eagerly turned back into a girl the minute a straight man got his cock into you. You thought you wanted to be safe, and then you begged for him to knock you up. Hell, you thought Zyns were worth whoring yourself out for, and you don't even like them. Why should he think that not wanting to have his babies is the one way you really know your mind?

#and if you think that post-nut clarity is still in effect after half an hour then you really don't understand what it's like to be a man #by then he was already thinking about how you'd look carrying twins #reor: zyn anon #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm girl #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #reor: anon life story

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ar1mas · 3 months ago

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- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

#fox gotham #nygmobblepot #i hate my life i hate this show i hate these characters i hate everything #you dont understand they are my destiel #i mean it #they ruined by life #i have literal trigger words that are just about them thats why im thinking about them this time in the first place #that fucking show isnt even that good is just okay like a 3 stars i dont get it why are they everything #rant #technically counts as an analysis. so #series analysis #nygmob #edward nygma #oswald cobblepot #nobody will see this 1 bc i dont have a following and 2 bc this shows fandom is practically dead but it doesnt matter #this is here so that my brain wont explode #i hate gay people

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springdaybreaks · 2 years ago

Text

lavender haze | l. jn.

➼summary: your subscribers anonymously agree that they could see the progress of you and jeno's relationship in your videos. / or in which jeno appears in your youtube videos.

➼tags: lee jeno x youtuber!reader; (kind of) domestic!jeno; fluff

➼warnings: grammar and tenses inconsistencies and intentional lowercase. unedited. no content warnings.

➼word count: 3,415

➼note: can't believe what started as a self indulgence ended up buried in my drafts for months lol. this fic is completely random and i had no idea why i even started writing this. but seeing this after finally coming back to my tumblr drafts just made me want to publish it. also i still suck at giving titles lmaoooo but i feel like the lyrics of lavender haze kinda fits them

iv. building new ikea furnitures for my new apartment (and giving up failing)

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. so today i am going to build a cabinet which i am going to put under my tv! as you guys know if you watched my previous video, i recently moved to a new place and i am slowly but surely starting to make this place home."

you clapped your hands, "let's start, shall we?"

you opened the box and started getting all of the pieces out, lining it up on the floor near you. you were doing a pretty good job on your own until you started facing hurdles after hurdles. with a little bit more time, patience and effort, you managed to screw in the right screws and placing the pieces the correct way. but as you were near finishing the furniture, your concentration and patience were wearing thin. not to mention you haven't eaten yet.

"oh my god, is this stuck?" you grunted as you try to push in a piece to its place.

the piece didn't budge even a smidge. you sighed as you felt the strength leaving your arms. you lay down and stare at the ceiling hopelessly before turning your head to the camera.

"and here i thought assembling an ikea furniture was easy."

the door creaked open and you lift your head off the floor. you must've saw a familiar face as your face because you forced yourself to sit cross-legged again.

"you doing okay?" someone said behind the camera.

"this one got stuck and i don't have the strength to push it to its place or pull it out again," you pointed to the troublesome piece.

"you want some help?"

"will you help me? oh that would be amazing!"

there was some shuffling and the next second, there was your helper with his back to the camera.

"say hi to my subscribers!" your helper waved his hand but refused to turn around.

you throw your arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug, "this is my friend and my savior who kindly agreed to help me move my stuff here! he's a little shy, so we're gonna blur out his face for privacy."

"what are you having troubles with?" he asked.

you pointed to the troublesome piece and started explaining how you tried your best but couldn't move the said piece. you even showed him the instructions and told him how you followed the instructions exactly, but the piece still got stuck.

"okay, calm down. let's start with this one," he said and shoved the piece down to its place in a blink of an eye.

your jaw dropped as you stared at your helper, then your camera, "i should've asked for his help from the very start."

your helper chuckled and made himself comfortable on the floor, still keeping his back to the camera as he reached for the instructions.

"you just need a little more strength, y/n."

the video continued with a timelapse of you and your helper finishing the furniture; with you helping with the instructions and carrying the pieces and your helper trying his best in assembling it. the timelapse ended as the two of you finished. your helper got up to his feet and with your help, the two of you pushed the cabinet to stand properly.

"hey, i think we did a pretty good job!" you said to the camera.

xii. trying archery (ft. archery gold medalist!)

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. so today i am here," you gestured towards the background, "at an archery range. and as you seen on the title, i am gonna be trying archery today! and i happen to have a friend that does or at least know how to do archery."

you gestured towards someone behind the camera to come closer. a moment later, a guy walked into the frame and stand beside you.

"introduce yourself!"

the guy bowed and simply introduced himself, "hi, everyone. i'm jeno."

"if you guys remembered the video where i tried building a tv cabinet, this is the friend that helped me build the cabinet!"

jeno kept quiet beside you, nodding along to your words as you start to explain your itinerary for the day. he only chimed in when he heard you saying how he was a archery gold medalist.

"no, wait a minute," he cut your monologue, "i'm not a gold medalist."

"yes, you are!" you protested.

"i'm not! it was only sports week at school, silly."

"mhm, and what about the neighborhood sports competition?" you crossed your arms.

"that doesn't count! my opponents were all old uncles!"

you gasped, as if what he said was scandalous. jeno rolled his eyes at your antics. "old uncles?"

"alright that's enough. now put your gear on," he turned you around and started pushing you to the counter where the staff had your gear ready.

you sped up the parts of the two of you getting ready. and finally the video started going on a normal pace when you and jeno were standing right behind the line.

"fear not, people, for i am katniss everdeen!" you said in a mighty voice, your chest puffed up.

"okay, katniss everdeen. now start practicing before you poke someone's eye off." jeno guided you to take up your posture, "now shoot by yourself first."

your first shot was awful as predicted. but so was your second and third. it was then jeno started correcting your posture again and the angle of your arm.

"now put your hand right on the corner of your mouth here as you pull the bow," he said as he took a place right behind you. "take a breath, hold it, and exhale as you release your bow."

you did as you were told and the camera moved to the target to capture your score. your arrow landed on the border of the second and third circle from the middle.

you jumped and shouted excitedly, "a nine! i got a nine!"

jeno smiled at your antics, his eyes curving to the shape of little crescent moons. he stood his ground even when you took his hand into yours and started jumping. but the small smie never left his face.

"let's do it again!" you said, "and we're not gonna go home until i get at least two bullseye!"

xix. meet my new friend!

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. we're not starting the video like the usual, as you guys noticed, and that's because i have a surprise for you guys! anyway, before we start the video..."

you started doing your usual thing, talking about one thing and anything that happened since your last video. but in the middle of your talk, the sound of a door opening was heard. your eyes focused on something behind the camera, where the door was supposedly. your eyes twinkled and your lips were pulled into a smile.

"and as you can see from the title, i want to introduce you guys to my new friend." you scoot aside, "okay, now come here, jeno."

you looked at the camera and held out a hand, "jeno's not the one i'm introducing you guys to. i think you guys know him already."

jeno came into the frame, holding a white puppy against his chest. he greeted your subscribers with a small hello and a smile, and then he raised the puppy's leg and waved it, "hi guys!"

you let them do their greetings, looking at them with such warmth in your eyes. it was obvious how much you adore the puppy, and maybe even jeno. (your subscribers definitely went out of their minds when they saw the way you look at jeno and the puppy; some of them were so sure you were looking at jeno and some others believed you were looking at the new puppy).

you caress the puppy's head, seeing as it was just quietly snuggling against jeno. you cooed when the puppy yawned. jeno smiled warmly at you as you obsessed over your new pup.

"so, mind telling them how we got this little guy?" you asked jeno as you kept giving the puppy rubs on its head.

"me? i thought you want to tell the story," jeno scrunched his eyebrows. you gave him a look that made him sigh.

"so, it was thursday- friday night? it was raining outside when i got a call from y/n. to be honest, i couldn't really hear much because of the rain. she had to practically shout so i can hear her," jeno started rubbing the little pup with his thumb. "the only thing i could hear was that she couldn't let him get rained on before she hung up on me."

"it was raining and i had to move fast, okay?" you protested.

"mhm, sure. anyway, she came home sopping wet with this little guy clutched to her chest." jeno glanced at the pup before looking at you, "and she started crying about not being able to leave him alone in the rain."

"and that's how we got this little guy!" you cut him.

"mhm, said miss emotional," he teased.

"hey, i was really sad, okay? this little guy didn't deserve to be left alone in the rain!" you protested.

jeno stared blankly at the camera, "and now i have two babies to take care of."

"hey!"

(your subscribers didn't miss how jeno said you 'came home', leading them to assume that the two of you were really living together.)

xxviii. back home for christmas

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. so today we are," the camera captures you on the passenger seat of a car, "on our way back home for christmas! oh, say hi to mr. driver!"

you moved the camera to capture the guy beside you; jeno, the driver.

"hi guys. merry christmas!" he said, taking his eyes off the road to focus on the camera for a second.

"well, technically, it's a couple days before christmas. but this video would probably be out after christmas anyways, so merry christmas!" you rambled.

"anyway, i'm gonna show you guys what i got everyone for christmas. and i'll probably gonna show you what i got for christmas too! so, stay tuned!"

"woof!"

the camera panned to where your white samoyed was currently sticking his head out. "hey, gureumi!"

the white dog looked at the camera in your hands and tilted his head in confusion. he shifted his attention to your best friend instead, nudging his nose to jeno's elbow that was resting on the console, asking for rubs.

"do you see this, guys? gureumi has betrayed me!" you complained dramatically.

you lay your head on top of gureumi's and snuggle the best you can, muttering, "gureumi, do you not love me anymore? i'm so sad."

the cheeky thing he was, gureumi ignored you and snuggled his face to jeno's arm instead. you whined against his white fur, "noooo!!!"

jeno's voice came from outside the frame, "alright, alright," he rubbed gureumi's face as best as he could before addressing you, "y/n, you know he loves you more than me so please seat properly."

you boo-ed but complied nonetheless, "buzzkill," and turned to the camera again, "well, we still have some ways to go so.... see you guys in a bit!"

(your subscribers kept commenting how you and jeno must be in a serious relationship because you're taking him home for christmas; meaning you're also taking him to meet your family and spend your time together. some commented how they're seeing jeno a lot more in your videos now.)

xlii. cooking my mom's recipes for thanksgiving

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. so today we are going to try and cook my favorites of my mom's thanksgiving recipes!"

the camera captured you on your kitchen. you were leaning against the counter, focused solely on the camera in front of you.

"the reason i am cooking this year is because my family's gonna be the one coming here for thanksgiving!" you clapped your hands once, "and jeno's too! so, we... have a lot of things to do hence why i am definitely gonna rope jeno into this too."

the video cuts to a view of white tile floors the next second, a pair of black shoes sits at the edge of the frame. the camera tilted, almost falling, before a hand caught it in time.

"whew, that was close!" the camera caught jeno's eyesmile as he shot his face. "i'm gonna get into so much trouble if it fell."

jeno's face couldn't be seen clearly on camera. he wore a black hat and half his face was covered by a black mask. "oh wow, i look like i'm about to do something illegal."

he flashed the camera a cute eyesmile, "which i will- am never going to do," and flipped the camera to face what he was seeing- an empty shopping cart.

"y/n will be doing most of the cooking, so i figured the least i could do is help with the groceries. let's see what we need here."

jeno managed to go through the list fairly quick. the camera shot his face again, "okay, since we are done with the list. i think i deserve to get something for me, right? some snacks won't hurt anybody."

saying the shopping cart was full was an understatement. the list you gave him was only for a few recipes as your mother and his, respectively, insisted on bringing at least one dish for the dinner. but the snacks he was piling on the cart really had nothing to do with the dinner, and it was starting to cover everything else.

oh, he was in for a scolding when he got home.

(your subscribers couldn't help but to notice how jeno also tossed in a lot of your favorite snacks, and some even caught on his quiet mumbles about how 'this is y/n's favorite!')

lix. so... we got married?

"hello everyone, welcome back to the channel! how are you guys? i hope all of you are doing well. so..." you paused and chuckled nervously, "i got married?"

you put a clapping sound effect on the video, hoping it would soothe the somewhat awkward atmosphere. you smooth out invisible crickles in your shirt, clearly nervous for what you're about to reveal on the video.

"this video is probably a bit different than my usual ones because i think you guys are probably confused by the title. this may come as a shock to all, or at least some, of you..." you smiled, "but it's true, I am married."

"okay, i think i have to apologize for the sudden news. i know you guys probably have a lot of questions about it and since i am finally settled down from all the wedding and honeymoon festives, i can finally explain it.

"a lot of you guys have been questioning if i was dating someone since a few years back. i've also seen your questions in the comments about dating a certain someone. i realised i never even cleared it up, but yes, i was dating jeno long before he started to show up on my videos. neither jeno or me ever confirmed it whenever any of you asked because, well... with so much of my life -and in extension, his also- known to the public, i like to keep our relationship private. although i know some of you were really sure we were dating," you laughed.

"so a few months ago he proposed. out of the blue, really. i really didn't expect him to propose that day. and i know," you emphasized with your hand, "that a lot of you are probably dying to know how did he propose to me."

a smile started to bloom on your face as you remember his proposal. "it wasn't a grand romantic thing, actually. it really just was another day. we just finished our date and i just got in to the car. i remember that i was particularly stressed out on the last couple of weeks before that day and jeno took me out on a date because he could see how much the stress was affecting me."

"we were just talking in the car after our date. i don't even remember what we talked about," you laughed, "i just remember talking a lot and he was just staring at me. when i asked him a question, he just blurted out THE question."

"i really thought he was out of my mind! i told him 'you are joking, right?' but he looked really serious. and then i remember panicking because i thought i said the wrong thing. but then he just repeated the question again. i think i even asked him why but i don't think he's comfortable with me sharing all of the details he said during his proposal."

your cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling, but the smile was still there. the door behind you opened a little bit and someone peeked in, although the gap between the door and the walls were too small for your viewers to identify the person.

"though, one thing i could guarantee: what he said was really sweet and, dare i say, romantic. i think i cried a little bit-"

"no, you were full on sobbing by then." jeno's head popped in from behind the door.

"i was not!" you gasped as you swivled to his direction.

jeno grinned and came inside the room, heading straight to you with his arms out. he cradled your face and started making baby noises, "uuu, is y/n gonna cry again just from remembering what i said?"

you punched his stomach in return, laughing lightheartedly, "shut up, doofus. i was not sobbing!"

"mhm, whatever helps you sleep at night, baby."

"hey!"

jeno flashed out his eyesmile and pecked your lips. he leaned his head against yours despite the awkward angle, with him just slightly crouching down and you sitting on your usual filming chair. he stared at the camera and mouthed, 'she definitely cried.'

you elbowed his sides and tried to shove him off you. you whined when he stayed adamant, pasted to your side.

"go away!"

jeno shook his head, messing your hair, "nooooo, you're stuck with me!"

"go away! unless," you paused to look at him, "you want to tell the whole story yourself?"

"no thanks!" jeno laughed. he gave you one last kiss on your temple before exiting the room.

you rolled your eyes at his antics, but the smile never left your face. you put your attention on your camera again and continued where you left off, letting know your viewers how your family reacted when they knew about the proposal and how jeno actually had bought a ring for you about a year prior. how he brought the ring with him every where because he didn't want you to find out yet. how you went to south korea for your two and a half week long honeymoon, and visiting jeno's family there while you're at it.

"so... yeah. i got married and i am really happy. that's all i have to say for this particular video. i'm not sure if i'm gonna upload my wedding video or not because to be completely honest, the party was fun. but super chaotic, in a good way! i may scrounge up some footage from our honeymoon and upload them one day though. one day! i'm not promising anything." you laughed, "i actually like having some things just for ourselves. but i'll ask jeno how he feels about it."

"well, that's all i have for this video. thank you so much for watching and i'll see you guys elsewhere! bye!"

(your comment section blew up with a lot of 'i kNEW it! I KNEW THEY WERE DATING!!!' and congratulatory comments. but on the brief moment jeno appeared on the video, your subscribers could see how much you love each other, but more importantly how much he loves you. they obsess over how they could practically see honey dripping from his eyes when he looked at you, how he calls you baby, how he still teases you good-naturedly like in your earlier videos, and how he seems to like clinging to your side. in a cute way.)

#lee jeno imagines #lee jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #nct imagines #lee jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader imagines #nct fluff #lee jeno fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #nct scenarios

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her-satanic-wiles · 4 months ago

Text

Dawn Chorus - IV

Dracopia x Fallen Angel!Reader

When you question the Almighty for a third time, you find yourself on the run and escaping a horde of wrathful angels ready to punish you for your insolence. Whose garden should you fall into than Cardinal Copia’s? And he has more nefarious plans for you.

Masterlist ⛧ Commissioned by anonymous ⛧ Series Masterlist

Words: 6.1k.

Reading Time: 25min.

Warnings: blood extraction, body control, corruption kink,finger sucking, forced sexual activity,gaslighting,irrelevant character death,mentions of death by sun exposure, non-consensual sexual activity,objectification, religious disillusionment, religious trauma, sexual harassment, taking advantage of innocence, use of needles,use of the word “bitch” unkindly

Taglist: @da-rulah @teenage-birt-dag @akayuki56 @dopey-fandom-girl @ravensbars @copiaspet622 @onlyhereforghost @ultrahalloweengirl @ad-astra-per-aspera-1976 @whitepawfics @dolceterzo

🔞 MDNI 🔞

As this fic is quite dark, I'm choosing to rate it 21+. Please respect my decision. Thank you.

“I feel as though thou hast drained all my blood and brought me to the brink of death.” You tried to stand but your body was too weak. “For how long hath I been in slumber?”

“Five days,” the Cardinal looked back to his book, “your recovery time is getting longer. We’re going to have to start rationing if this keeps up. Or get another angel. Say, do you think we could use you as bait?”

“I pray thee choke and perish upon my blood.”

The Cardinal laughed. “If that happens,” the door to his bedroom knocked, then opened, “you’ll be stuck in that cage forever - ah! Brother López. Come in, please!”

The Brother opened the door wider and stepped inside, looking polite as he watched the Cardinal stand to greet him.

“Angel,” the Cardinal addressed you, “this is my new cleaner, Brother Santiago López.”

You couldn’t help the wave of disappointment and fear take over you. But as you spoke, you tried to keep your voice level and nonchalant, “Oh. What befell thy previous caretaker?”

“I found out he was trying to help a certain prisoner escape, and so he needed to be punished.”

“If thou has slain him, I swear by the Almighty I shall smite thee!” Your anger bubbled up far too quickly for someone who was supposed to remain nonchalant.

“Oh relax, you crazy bitch. We sent him to an abbey in America to shovel pig shit.”

You exhaled a sigh of relief, feeling your muscles relax knowing that he was okay. “For what reason?”

The Cardinal tapped Brother López on the shoulder and gestured for him to leave, which he did promptly, fearing what he was going to see. “You know why.” The Cardinal said, simply. His voice quieter than usual.

Your voice was less sharp, but still loud. “I can assure thee, I do not.”

“You mean to tell me that you weren’t trying to escape? That you and Brother Hayward weren’t attempting to break you out of that little cage to get you to freedom, hm? Come on now, Angel. I’m more than happy for my pets to have pets, but when they start rebelling against me, lines must be drawn.”

“Thou wast aware he visited here?”

He took in a long breath through his nose, so sharp his nostrils retracted with the inhale. “Could smell him Every time I came home and his scent was stronger than usual - knew he was here a while. And then when he was under the bed, his heartbeat was so loud.” The Cardinal walked over to the cage and rested his hands on the bars, leaning his whole body on it. “His fear would have tasted so good.”

You spat in his face, hearing some of your spittle sizzle against the metal bars. The Cardinal sighed, and wiped it away before hitting the side of the cage.

“The next time you pull something like that, Angel,” he began, his voice loud and so enraged, “I will personally make sure your little pet dies in front of you, and I’ll make it slow and painful. Do you understand?”

When you didn’t answer, he hit the cage again. “Understand?”

“I understand.”

He stood up to his full height and straightened his hair, then began fiddling with his clothes. “I don’t like getting angry with you, Angel. But sometimes you leave me no choice.” He turned to walk away, but stopped at the door. “Oh, and angel?” He said, his voice soft and sweet like butter wouldn’t melt. He looked at you, mismatched eyes piercing into your soul. “Brother Hayward may be in a different country, but one word from me and all 6 litres of his blood gets delivered to my fridge, and his corpse will be buried beneath abbey soil. I’ll be back.”

The threat of his return felt even more sinister with the tone of voice he used, and for the first time since this whole ordeal started, you felt the sharp pang of fear that had the small amount of blood inside you run cold. Your safety didn’t matter. You were just you. But now Thomas’ life was in jeopardy and it was entirely your fault. Memories of Brother Thomas’ kind eyes and gentle words flooded your thoughts, each one a painful reminder of the danger he now faced because of you. Guilt gnawed at your insides like a ravenous beast, twisting and clawing at your conscience until it threatened to consume you whole. You had thought yourself strong, resilient in the face of the Cardinal’s torment. But now, faced with the consequences of your actions, you felt nothing but fear and despair creeping in, threatening to engulf you entirely.

As the Cardinal’s footsteps faded down the hallway, leaving behind an oppressive silence, you couldn’t shake the weight of his threats echoing in your mind. The air in the room felt heavy, suffocating, as if the walls themselves were closing in on you. For though you may be trapped in this gilded cage, your spirit remained unbroken. And as long as there was breath in your body, you would fight tooth and nail to protect those you held dear, no matter the cost.

Your own body continued to repair itself, slower than it usually would. The five days it took you to regain consciousness turned into twenty more of total healing time. The Cardinal kept a monitor of your levels based on how you smelled, which meant every day, his long, rodent nose would poke through the bars as he inhaled your scent, making sure his tavern was restocking perfectly well. He didn’t try and pry any information from you in that time, which you hated to admit that you were grateful for. But he had developed a habit of sitting and staring at you, taking joy in watching you squirm uncomfortably. He’d brought in a red, velvet armchair from the living space to do just that. Every evening, he’d waltz into his room with a glass of your blood, now tainted red from your essence, and sit and observe you, like an animal in a cage. You never said anything: always believing he wanted you to start a conversation, but you’d never let him win.

At first, the Cardinal’s constant scrutiny had been unbearable, like a stifling weight pressing down on your chest, making it difficult to breathe. His presence had been a constant reminder of your captivity, of just how at his mercy you truly were. But as the days stretched into weeks and the Cardinal’s routine became an unsettling rhythm in your life, something shifted within you. You found yourself growing accustomed to his gaze, almost welcoming it in a twisted sort of way. Not that you enjoyed it, by any means. Just that a routine was being established and the Cardinal became the only constant in your life. The only entertainment, too. And so, instead of shrinking away from his viewing, you began to meet his eyes head-on, a silent challenge in your gaze. You refused to cower under his oppressive stare, refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you squirm. You found yourself seeing him in return, studying the lines of his face, the way his eyes glinted with a predatory gleam. There was a darkness lurking behind those mismatched orbs, a darkness that chilled you to the bone. But even as you studied him, a sense of defiance burned within you. You refused to let the Cardinal break you, refused to let him strip away your dignity and humanity. You were more than just a prisoner in a cage; you were a warrior, a survivor, and you would not be defeated so easily. Heaven couldn’t get you, neither could he.

So, you met the Cardinal’s gaze with steely determination, a silent reminder that despite his best efforts, you would not be broken. And as you stared back at him, you couldn’t help but wonder what secrets lay hidden behind those calculating eyes, what darkness lurked within the depths of his soul.

The Cardinal’s entrance into the room that night was accompanied by an air of smugness so thick you could practically taste it. His smirk was evident as he sauntered in, a book tucked under one arm and a glass of your blood held casually in the other, a smile so wide, you could see his fangs underneath the skin. You watched him with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, wondering what had put that self-satisfied gleam in his eyes. It was rare to see him so openly pleased with himself, and it set your nerves on edge.

As he approached your cage, he made no attempt to hide his triumphant grin, relishing in the power he held over you. He settled into the red velvet armchair with an air of satisfaction, taking a leisurely sip from the glass of blood as if it were the finest vintage wine, because, to him, it was. His eyes flicked over to you, and you met his gaze with a steely resolve, refusing to let him see any hint of fear or weakness. “So, Angel,” he began, his voice dripping with arrogance, but his words slurred slightly from the drink, “I’ve been doing some reading lately. Did you know there’s a whole chapter in this book dedicated to angels like you?”

Your stomach twisted uneasily at the implications of his words, but you kept your expression carefully neutral, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you flinch.

“It seems there’s quite a lot I didn’t know about your kind,” he continued, his tone laced with malice. “But don’t worry, Angel. I plan on remedying that very soon.” With a chilling smile, he opened the book in his hands, his eyes gleaming with a dark intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. “Do you know this book?”

You shook your head.

“It was written by Lorenzo Giovanni during the Renaissance, the last time an angel knowingly fell to Earth. A vampyre, like me. Spent most of his days studying the angel, finding out what makes you tick - turns out, he got pretty far. Unfortunately, his work was unfinished. A mob found out what he was and got to him in 1492, tied him up and let the Sun do all the work. But, do you know what he did find?” He didn’t wait for you to shake your head this time. He cleared his throat, and began to read aloud. As he began to read, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something far more sinister. “‘In celestial governance, once the manner is known, it is a simple matter. The heavenly messengers utilize the dread of the Almighty to manage their subordinates. However, those angels who have questioned the supremacy of the Lord are subject to the influences of their sacred radiance, the origin of which is their halo. Thus, one who attains an angel’s halo possesses the capability to command the entity, as well as the sacred radiance enveloping it.’ This we know, correct?”

You remained silent. So, the Cardinal continued, “‘This process assumes two guises: one to govern the physical form, the other to govern the intellect. To command the physical form, one must initially acquaint themselves with the name of the angel. As is observed with infernal entities, names possess a potency beyond human comprehension. Consequently, an angel bearing a name can readily relinquish control of their physical form merely by disclosing this fragment of information. Subduing the intellect, however, presents a greater challenge.’

“Basically,” he said, closing the book shut for dramatic affect, “I know your name, your body becomes mine.” He sighed, “Giovanni then goes onto say your mind is fully intact during this process, that you’ll feel your body moving but have no control over it.” He set his glass down on the dresser and walked towards your halo in its cage.

He grasped hold of it and you notice his hand was gloved, taking note of the care he was using to touch it. Your halo was just as dangerous to him as it was to you, but for different reasons. Without your halo, you were dead. Without your halo, you were controlled. For him, his skin would burn at the touch of it, like yours did with hellfire. For him, one wrong move and he would evaporate in the holy light. There was a part of you that wanted that to happen - wanted to see him perish in one of the most painful ways you had ever known. Yet there was an overpowering guilt that ate at you when you thought about it - knowing that the Almighty wanted you to love everyone, even at the detriment to yourself.

He took a step back and looked at you, smugness oozing from every pore. “I haven’t told Sister yet,” he mumbled, sitting back down on the chair. “I wanted to find out if it worked first. Tell me your name, Angel.”

“Thou must deem me a fool to willingly disclose such information.” You retorted, your voice barely above a whisper. Your mouth was dry.

He chuckled, a dark sound that shook you to your core. He nestled into the armchair, becoming comfortable in his throne of power. All of his movement was in his hips, lifting himself off the velvet to help him slide down it a little more, legs spread wide to exude his dominance. He was disgusting. “I thought you might say that,” he commented, his grin widening, “but you forget who I have.”

Thomas.

“You’ve experienced firsthand what I can do, Angel,” he continued, “except, I’ll make sure I’m much worse with him.”

“Thou would not.” You protested, trying to quell your panic. “The constabulary would be aware. Thou would be compelled to answer to the authorities.”

“I never said he’d survive.”

A chill ran down your spine. Your mind raced with fear and uncertainty as the Cardinal’s threat hung in the air like a dark cloud. Thomas was now in grave danger, and you were faced with an impossible choice. Would you sacrifice your own identity to save him, or would you stand firm and risk his life? You did know what the Cardinal could do - you’d been subjected to it since the moment you met him however long ago that was. You knew you could survive going through that again, especially if you had nothing to lose; but you couldn’t be sure about Thomas. He definitely didn’t deserve to feel the Cardinal’s wrath any more than he already may have. And could you live with yourself knowing you’d condemned a man to death just to save yourself, even if he did belong to the Satanic Church? By robbing him of his life, he’d never get the chance to return to God, to see the light and repent. You’d never get the chance to meet him again in Heaven. You’d rob him of his salvation, but you’d save yourself from the Cardinal’s damnation. Either way, you lost.

“If I divulge,” you began, puffing your chest to sound more confident and unafraid, “can thou ensure his well-being?”

The smugness faded from the Cardinal, if only for a moment. “Of course.” He responded, genuinely. “How else would I get you to do things I wanted?” He let the second sentence slip out, but paid it no mind once it had been released. He planned on using Thomas’ safety to continue to control you. You never should have let yourself get close to him - it allowed the Cardinal to win.

“And wilt thou demonstrate that he is unharmed? Wilt thou prove that thou speakest truthfully unto me?”

“I’ll get him to video chat you every week.”

You frowned, “I comprehend naught of thy words.”

“Video chat? FaceTime? Angels have no technology up there at all?” The Cardinal sighed at your blank expression and rummaged in his pocket to pull out the device you first saw him use. “This thing lets you have conversations with people that aren’t there with you. It shows you their face and hear their voice and, boom, conversation.”

“And thou wilt employ that contrivance to contact Tho- Brother Hayward?”

“Yes.”

You sighed. “___.”

“What?”

“My name. It is ___.”

“___.” The Cardinal nodded and set down the device next to his glass. He stood and unlocked your cage, before returning to his spot on the couch. He gently maneuvered your halo into the palm of his right hand, and brought it up to his mouth. “___, I command you to exit the cage.”

You laughed. You laughed at him. He lacked conviction which was why it failed, and it was so funny to watch him fumble. He cleared his throat, and now, with more confidence, repeated his order. Your body tingled in response, and despite you fighting it with great strength, your legs moved of their own accord. Your bare foot stepped out of the cage and onto the floor, barely feeling the textures beneath your feet. Your body ducked around the metal, wings tucked tightly to your body to stop any part of you from getting injured. Even under control, your body still did what it could to preserve itself. This was a new sensation to you, as you’d never been under someone else’s control before - you’d never needed to be because you were always a good soldier, even when you had your doubts. You’d never known anyone be subjected to this, either. Within seconds, you were out of the cage, standing in front of it with your wings outstretched. He hadn’t ordered you to stay still, to wait for the next instruction. But you did anyway, fearing that defiance would bring a painful end to Brother Thomas.

“___, I command you to spin on the spot.” The Cardinal ordered, a mischievous smile on his face and a glint in his eye.

When you did as he commanded, he laughed. It was a guttural laugh, hearty and jovial, clearly he was having fun with this. “Like a game of Capitan Giro. Capitan Giro dice stand on one leg.”

You did as commanded, and the Cardinal screamed in delight.

“Wait, I don’t need your name? I don’t need to be so formal? What if… put both feet to the floor.”

You did as commanded.

“Incredible. I wonder what else I could get you to do. How else I could humiliate you…” He stopped and thought for a moment, eyes darkening. “Come here.” This command was lower and deeper than the previous ones, quieter and somehow more intimate.

You fought against this command, but to no avail. Your feet, slowly, dragged you towards the Cardinal and only stopping when you were right in front of him, between his open legs. “On your knees.”

You obeyed. The whole time you made eye contact with him, staring daggers into his face and still hoping that the halo hurt him.

He held out his left hand, the one not holding the halo, and said, “Remove the glove.”

Your hands immediately sprung into action, grasping onto the hem of the leather and peeling it gently off of his hand, exposing the skin beneath.

“You know,” he grumbled as you pulled the final finger of his glove off him, “the Sister told me about you.”

He moved his hand to your face and tried to caress your cheek, but you moved away. “Come back, don’t fight me.” Slowly, you moved back to your original position, feeling your cheek meet his fingertips. His hand was large, taking up most of your face as he stroked it with such gentility, you weren’t entirely sure that this was the same man who had caused you great pain for so long. His thumb sat beside your nose, and gently stroked your skin.

“She told me about your purity,” he continued. “How you’re still the good angel Yhwh intended.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Open your mouth.”

You did. You opened it a small amount, but it was enough for him. He slotted his thumb inside and rubbed the pad over your tongue, as if he was studying your mouth. His knuckle, briefly, hit the tip of your small fangs - not enough to hurt him, but enough to have him fascinated by them.

“Suck on my finger.”

Your mouth closed around the digit in your mouth, lips stretching just a little over his skin, and you heard the Cardinal exhale a shaky breath. He watched the obscenity in front of him, how your cheeks hollowed around his thumb that he slowly began to move in and out of your mouth. His cheeks were flushed, partially because of your blood, but also because his own was rushing around his body, still pumping life into it despite his insides being almost dead. His pupils were blown, and his eyes were hooded, making him look a little crazy. His lips parted, and his breaths were laboured, chest rising and falling as though his lungs still worked - a force of habit, you thought.

You didn’t understand this - what he was doing. You’d never seen anyone do this before, but your mind was racing with possibilities. Perhaps he was testing your mouth, making sure your health was good. Or maybe it was some strange form of comfort for him, you pondered. Perhaps he found solace in this bizarre act, a fleeting moment of intimacy amidst the chaos of his life. As his thumb moved in and out of your mouth, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease mingled with curiosity.

You should bite down.

You couldn’t. Not that you weren’t trying, but you were under the influence of the halo. You just couldn’t get your teeth to clench around his thumb.

Despite your confusion, you continued to suck on his finger obediently, just as the Cardinal had ordered. You focused on the rhythm of his movements, trying to make sense of the strange sensation in your mouth.

“Cazzo.” He let out a whisper, barely audible but because of the quiet of the room, the humming of technology barely covered the sound.

As time passed, it couldn’t have been more than a minute, you couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort that gnawed at you. Yet, you dared not speak up, afraid to disrupt the fragile peace that enveloped the room. So you remained silent, your mind still racing with unanswered questions, as you obediently continued to suck on his finger.

Suddenly, the Cardinal’s eyes widened, a look of shock appearing on his face. He yanked his thumb from your mouth and physically pushed you away, grasping onto the halo a little tighter than he should have. “B-back in the cage.” He said quickly, standing up and walking over to your halo’s cage.

He didn’t need to use the halo to order you back behind bars, you were already scrambling to your feet and rushing to fit yourself in through the bars. He refused to make eye contact with you, noticing that he was feeling shame. Shame for what, you couldn’t say, but he spent most of the time staring at the floor as he locked you back inside. Your eyes wandered, too. From his face, over his body, until you saw the tent in his crotch every time he stood side-on. You weren’t completely foolish, you knew what that meant. You’d spent enough time with mortals, and saw a varying degree of sin that they would commit regularly. But you still couldn’t piece together the correlation between his finger in your mouth and the reason for his body’s reaction. He didn’t say a word, instead grabbing the glass and all but running out the door.

Perhaps you were feeling some of his shame now that you knew he’d used you to sin. He’d sinned with you before, every single time he caused you pain was sin enough, but this felt different somehow. Before, it was all the sins that were done to you; because of your implicitness due to the halo’s control, it felt like he was sinning with you. Shame, anger, and a deep sense of discomfort gnawed at your insides, making you feel vulnerable and exposed.

You had been subjected to a degrading and humiliating act, one that left you feeling powerless and violated. The Cardinal’s actions had stripped away your dignity and autonomy, reducing you to nothing more than a mere object for his pleasures.

Anger simmered within you, fueled by the injustice of being treated in such a deplorable manner. You resented the Cardinal for his blatant disregard for your dignity and for his abuse of power. How dare he manipulate and exploit you for his own perverse desires?

The deep sense of discomfort stemmed from the violation of your boundaries and the invasion of your personal space. His unwelcome advances had left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, as if your very essence had been laid bare for his scrutiny.

But then, the feeling dawned on you, was this not a similar way the Almighty had treated you? How He would get His subordinates to send you down to the mortal realm and commit atrocities on His behalf. In Egypt and Canaan, and even the shores of Italia, in His name you enacted awful things, bore witness to tragedies no person should ever see. While the Cardinal used you for some kind of sexual gratification, the Almighty used you for egotistical gratification, and either way, you were a pawn in someone else’s game, an object to be used at will regardless of your own opinions. You could never condone or justify the Cardinal’s behaviour towards you, but you’d also never had autonomy over your own person, so was it any different?

In some weird twist, you had come to realise that despite being trapped in a cage, your mind was freer than it ever had been in Heaven, your thoughts were your own, and your feelings went more-or-less unpunished. And in comparison, who was truly the Devil? Lucifer, or the Almighty?

The Cardinal didn’t come to visit you the next day, or the day after that, or the subsequent week that followed. He wouldn’t even come back to his chambers to rest, opting to spend his time elsewhere and avoiding you - an easy task, you were sure, given that he had kept you in the cage the whole time. You were unsure how to feel about this, whether this was something you should be grateful for, or if you should be afraid.

The longer you were around the vampyres, the more you’d begun to understand them and their ways; their thoughts and feelings, and what made them tick. Given that you’d not seen the Sister in so long, you could assume that the Cardinal hadn’t told her about his discovery. If he had, she’d have charged into his chambers, gripped hold of your halo, and practiced on you herself. Her insatiable thirst for power and control outweighed her thirst for your blood, and thus, if she knew your secret, you’d know too.

But then, why had the Cardinal kept that secret? Both he and the Sister wanted power, specifically power over you. They had been working together from the start to make sure they got what they wanted, your health and safety be damned. So why hadn’t the Cardinal told her everything? You pondered these questions in the silence of your cage, the only company being the dim glow of your halo, a sense of unease washing over you in more ways than one.

By the time you had healed completely, the Cardinal had returned with the empty bottles, but still found it difficult to look you in the eye. His gaze flickered with a mixture of guilt and apprehension, a silent acknowledgment of the unspeakable acts he had committed in his pursuit of power… or pleasure?

You watched him closely, noting the tension in his movements and the weariness etched into his features. Despite the disguise of indifference he attempted to show, you could sense the conflict raging within him, a storm of inconsistent emotions that threatened to consume him whole. He’d not rested well enough - you wondered if he’d even eaten properly. Then you wondered why you cared.

As he went about his task of arranging empty buckets around his bed, you remained silent, studying his every move with a mixture of curiosity and wariness. Why buckets, this time? There was an obvious shift in the air, a tension that hung between you, heavily shrouding you both an an intense suffocation.

With each passing moment, the weight of his silence grew heavier, a burden that bore down upon you with unbearable force. You longed to break the oppressive stillness, to confront him with the questions that burned in the depths of your soul, but you held your tongue, wary of the consequences of speaking out.

In the end, it was the Cardinal who broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper as he addressed you. “I won’t bind you when I let you out… I’m trusting you to be on your best behaviour.”

You simply nodded in response.

“No funny business, no trying to escape… no attacking, got it?”

“I shall not undertake such actions today,” you told him, “yet I offer no assurances for the morrow.”

He laughed as though you were telling him a joke. His laughter echoed through the chamber, a hollow sound that reverberated off the walls. Despite the tension that lingered between you, there was a sense of relief in his amusement, a fleeting moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere that surrounded you. “Well, I suppose that’s better than nothing,” he replied, his tone lightening slightly. “Just remember, Angel, I’m not afraid to put you back in that cage if you step out of line.”

You met his gaze with a steady stare, your eyes alight with a quiet defiance. “I understand,” you said, your voice firm and unwavering. “But mark this, Cardinal - I shall not be imprisoned anew, not without resistance.”

There was a flicker of something in his eyes, a spark of recognition that mirrored the fire that burned within your own soul. In that moment, you saw a glimmer of respect in his gaze, a grudging acknowledgment of your strength and determination.

“Very well,” he said, his voice tinged with resignation. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

He moved towards your cage, unlocked and opened the door, and took a step back, still holding it as though he were a gentleman holding the door for his wife. With apprehension, you climbed out, wings cocooning your body again until you were completely free of the metal. You chanced a glance at your halo, which was still locked up tight in the cage, and somehow you felt relieved. You stretched your entire body out, wings included, grateful for the feeling. All the while, you still watched the Cardinal potter around the room until he invited you onto his bed again.

You hesitated until you saw the plea in his eyes. “What dost thou withhold from me, Cardinal?”

He shook his head, “If you don’t let me drain you now, things will end up worse for us both. Just do as I ask this one time, please.”

You regarded him with a mix of wariness and resignation, knowing that you had little choice but to comply with his request. With a heavy sigh, you moved towards the bed, your movements slow and deliberate as you approached him.

As you settled onto the plush mattress, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled over you like a heavy cloak. The Cardinal’s intentions were clear, his desire for your blood palpable in the air, and yet you found yourself unable to resist his command. You felt the first needle prick into the crook of your arm, and watched as your blood began to pour into the bucket. Then you saw him prick the second needle in, and the cycle repeat. Usually, the Cardinal would stand back and watch menacingly. But this time, he gently crawled onto the bed, lifted you up, and slotted you on top of him, so you were using his body as a pillow instead.

As the Cardinal cradled you in his arms, using his body as a makeshift pillow, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of discomfort wash over you. The intimacy of the gesture was unsettling, a stark contrast to the usual brutality of your interactions with him.

With each drop of blood that left your body, you felt a sense of vulnerability creep in, the realization dawning on you that you were completely at his mercy. Despite your instinctive urge to resist, you found yourself unable to muster the strength to pull away, trapped in a state of submission that left you feeling powerless and exposed.

You passed out, despite your body fighting it.

You were barely conscious when you woke, the needles still in your arms and the Cardinal still behind you. This time, you could feel his hands running up and down your biceps and stroking your hair, as if he was trying to comfort you. You wanted to recoil from his touch, to push him away and reclaim the boundaries he had violated so mercilessly more than once. And yet, a part of you couldn’t help but crave the warmth of his embrace, the fleeting sense of connection that offered a brief respite from the cold reality of your captivity.

Your body lost consciousness again, the last thing you felt were his fingertips tracing light patterns into your skin.

You roused from your uneasy slumber, disoriented and groggy, the memory of the Cardinal’s touch haunting your exposed flesh. As your senses slowly returned, you realized that the needles were no longer piercing your skin, their absence bringing a faint sense of relief amidst the lingering discomfort.

You looked around the room, heart heavy, seeking any sign of the Cardinal’s whereabouts, but all you saw was the empty space of his bed and the stifling silence that enveloped the room like a blanket. Feelings of fear and panic started to seethe at the borders of your mind as you struggled with the disconcerting realisation that you were alone in the room, and not trapped up in your cage where you’d normally be after such an extraction.

You strained to get yourself upright, your muscles protesting with each movement as you forced yourself to look around more closely. However, no matter how hard you looked, there was no sign of the Cardinal, no clue of where he had gone or what he was plotting next.

The sound of voices coming from the living room sent shivers down your spine, breaking the strange calm that had encased the Cardinal’s quarters. You strained your ears, nervously attempting to figure out who was talking and who was there.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you listened closely, the murmur of voices becoming louder and clearer with each passing instant. Their tones conveyed a sense of urgency, a palpable tension that appeared to linger in the air like a building storm.

For a tiny moment, you cherished the hope that Brother Thomas would return to liberate you from your captivity and deliver you from the Cardinal’s tyranny. But deep down, you understood that such dreams were nothing more than desperate illusions created out of your own sorrow.

One of the voices belonged to the Cardinal… the other… the Sister.

You strained to catch every word of the furious discussion between the Sister and the Cardinal, their voices rising and falling in a chaotic symphony of wrath and frustration. From your position in the bedroom, you could feel the tension crackling in the air like electricity, heavy and stifling.

The words they exchanged formed a bleak picture, indicating a flaw in their carefully crafted relationship. It became clear that the Cardinal had acted with purposeful intent by draining you of your blood before the full moon night, undermining their plans to perform the second ritual.

Confusion blurred your mind as you tried to make sense of the Cardinal’s strange choice to sabotage the ceremony. It didn’t make sense; why would he go to such extent to foil plans that he had personally set up? You felt lost and confused, as if the puzzle pieces would not fit together in your brain.

You couldn’t shake the notion that the Cardinal’s acts were more than just what they appeared to be. His intentions remained a mystery, and you couldn’t help but wonder what underlying agenda drove his betrayal. Was he behaving in his own self-interest, or was he motivated by something else that you couldn’t figure out? Or was there a deeper, more nefarious motive at work?

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Anon commissioned artwork by @taylaedraws - I believe the full version is on their Patreon! Please be sure to check it out when you can!

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sunnycanvas · 8 months ago

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eğer istek alıyorsanız Baldwin IV'ün okuyucuya ondan hoşlandığını ve onunla evlenmek istediğini söylediği tek seferlik uzun bir bölüm yapabilir misiniz?

I was sitting in front of my "friend" Baldwin IV. Both of us were having a meal together in his private chambers. "Your majesty" "I asked nervously, I don't think it appropriate alone together in your private chamber". Baldwin IV waved his hand dismissing my concern "Nonsense, You think too much about what people say" "Remember I won't allow anyone to tarnish your good name". I smiled nervously when he said this, I watched quietly seeing his beautiful face while he was eating. I couldn't help fantasize how nice it would have been to see his bare face every day like this, how nice it would have been if Baldwin IV belonged to my era. We could easily get him cured from the disease. If God allowed we could get married and have kids of our own. We both would devide the chores with him cooking and me cleaning the house. We would live in small family home with our kids who would could running happily running inside the house after their school is over and me and Baldwin IV would be joyfully waiting for him. We won't have any menddling noble men who keep trying to seperate us or the bunch woman who think they can snatch him away from me by their seduction skills or other people who think so highly of themselves because of their blood.

Baldwin IV gently put his own hand on my hand and squeezed my hand gently. "You are lost again". Baldwin IV smiled and I couldn't help but smiled back to confirm. "You worry too much dear but I can't help but feel it endearing". Baldwin IV brushed his thumb at the corner of my mouth to clean the crumbs of food left behind. He then moved a strand of my hair behind my ear and said amused "Such a child". I couldn't help but blush at response. Baldwin IV then got up and brought a cake and kept it in middle of the table and said "Now it's time for your favourite dessert honey cake but first" Baldwin IV took out a knife and placed it in my hand "Cut it". I looked at him confused and Baldwin IV laughed at my expression and said "Didn't you say that's how you celebrate events in your era" I nodded quietly and did what I was asked to do. The moment I tried cutting the cake I felt something hard in it. Confused I went to investigate. I found a brown box. I opened the box and gasped at what was inside. A beautiful diamond ring. Beautifully decorated with gold. Baldwin IV slowly took the box from my hand and got down in one knee and said "(Y/N) before you came to my life. My life was dull and I believed that I was cursed by God to forever live alone. I always believed that I would have special place in hell. People were either moved to sympathy or disgust at my sight" "You (Y/N) were the only one who loved me and treated me as if I were one of your own. That I was normal. My days brightened up when I see you. I eagerly wait for your arrival and get sad when you leave". "(Y/N) Please do the the honour to leper king like me to have an opportunity to be your husband" "I know I can't give you normal life like other men can do" "But I swear to make you happy every second of your life" "Whatever you ask for shall be at your feet" "Please (Y/N) accept my proposal" "I can't bear to stay away from you" "Your absence greatly upsets me" "You mean so much to me (Y/N)" "My world, my life"

My legs were wobbly after hearing his speech. I couldn't help but believe what was happening. I finally get to marry the love of my life. My feet gave out and I fell. Baldwin IV seemed worried but his worries seemed to dissolve when I put my hand forward. "Yes, Yes! A thousand times Yes! Baldwin IV had tears of joy in his eyes. With his trembling hands he put the engagement ring in my ring finger and said "I can't believe this is happening" "You have made me happiest man alive, I try my best to always keep you happy" "I love you (Y/N)" with that Baldwin IV kissed me continuously all over my face

"I love you too". I giggled enjoying my affectionate husband

#kingdom of heaven #baldwin iv #kingdom of heaven 2005 #baldwin iv imagine #baldwin iv x reader #kingdom of heaven fanfic #kingdom of heaven fanfiction #kingdom of heaven fandom #king baldwin iv #kingdom of heaven headcanons

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badomensgoodomens · 7 days ago

Text

RIFFS AND REGRETS - noah sebastian - part two

part one here

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hi, i have ultimately decided that after a week i absolutely hate this storyline and believe i can do better lol. i had intended to progress further after this chapter, but it is suitable to stop here.

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Hadn’t planned on waking up in a shitty emergency tent during the festival of a lifetime, much less the angry danielle who was standing over me lecturing me.

“Are you fucking stupid?? You were so dehydrated that the adrenaline made you faint!! We talked about this- that is the number one rule of touring-” “danielle-” “you had me worried sick!! That is so not cool-” “danielle!!” i shout, overwhelmed. “Fuck- did i hit my head on the way down?” i ask, rubbing my face.

“Uhhuh, leo said you went down like a ton of bricks, hit your ribs on the fuckin toilet bowl.” i groan, leaning my head back. “He was watching you, yaknow.” she says. I pause, looking up at her in utter confusion. “Who?” “noah. From the artist tent.” i close my eyes with a sigh at that information. “Thanks for sharing.” i mumble, trying to ignore the stinging coming from my ribs.

“You can't keep ignoring him, you know.” she says, shifting her weight from one foot to another, hand resting on her pregnant belly. “He broke my fuckin heart dani.” i reply, too exhausted to put up a proper fight. “Oh please. You didn’t even date.” she says, vic comes up behind her. “Who?” he says, wrapping his arms around danielles stomach. “He who shall not be named.” dani retorts, leaning her head on his shoulder. “She STILL stalks my insta. I am NOT talking to him. Hes probably cheating with poppy anyways. Shes pretty.” i say, sitting up a bit. “Arabella, you're one stupid bitch.”

____________________

The next morning i have a much needed shower, i stand infront of the foggy bathroom mirror in nothing but a plain black set, admiring the nasty ass bruise that littered my left rib. Yikes. I shimmy into a stage outfit, now ruined by the bruise i adorned.

I managed to limp backstage with the help of vic, who set me down on a random, rundown couch with a bottle of water. I lean back with closed eyes, until the weight shifts that is. I crack an eye open, nicholas sits next to me. “So i’m just ticking you all off one by one huh?” i murmur, closing my eyes. “You could say that i guess. Hey i heard through the grapevine about what happened yesterday. You okay?” i take a sip of water, allowing the cold liquid to soothe my throat before speaking again. “This water is good.” “you didn’t answer my question.” he uncrosses his arms, leaning back a little. “I don’t want to lie to you” i shoot back. He grins. “Ive missed you, bella.” he side hugs me, narrowly missing my bruise. I just hum in response. “Hows the rockstar life?” i ask, he tilts his head. “Its okay i guess. I really do miss having you around bella-” he starts again. “Hey, we’re on in five.” noah calls out, briefly walking past the room, he avoids eye contact.

Its almost like im a thorn in his side.

I probably am, honestly.

______________________________

I can’t even lie, bad omens stage presence is phenomenal. Its exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. They give every concert their all, its admirable. However, unfortunately we were allocated the time slot AFTER them. I hobble towards side stage, taking deep breaths. Leo gives me one of his bullshit pep talks. “I’m not even anxious, just unsure how im supposed to do this.” i laugh, pulling myself up the stairs.

“Hey australia how we feeling!!!??” I call out, genuinely trying to muster up ANY ounce of energy. “So yesterday i took quite the fall, and now im covered in bruises, so i need YOU guys to give it your all!!”

We launch right into our set, the crowd menacing once again. During each set i allocated 5 minutes at the end to play whatever song i please.

“So i intended to perform doomed today, because i know yall love oli sykes. But considering im uhhh a bit.. Limited. We are gonna sing a bit of sleep token.”

Gene begins to play the opening chords to “the love you want”

Everyone and their mother knew how much i loved sleeptoken, how much noah did. However i was dumbfounded when i spotted him standing side stage, his gaze boring into the bruises on my left side. Fuck. this just got an awful lot more awkward. I finish off on stage, managing to slip past him in a timely manner despite being injured. I collapse on to a leather couch, exhausted.

I lay there for a while, watching the different bands filter past. Eventually, i hobble my ass out of there, humming mindlessly.

“Give by sleeptoken huh?”

I actually nearly shit myself, my heart falling to my ass.

“Can i help you?” i respond, turning around to face noah. I can’t pinpoint what flashes across his face. “Its been a while arabella.” he shifts awkwardly. I nod, we stand awkwardly, the wind picks up. “We should really talk.” he breaks the silence, taking a step forward.

I step backwards, muttering “ill think about it.” before escaping to my bus. I shut and lock the bus door, sliding down it. Shit. Shit. I just fucking ran away from him.

“You good?” leo asks, handing me a beer. “Just ran into noah.” i breathe out, taking a sip. He joins me on the floor. “How’d that go? You wanna talk about it?” i sigh. Gene and lucy join us. “What even happened between you two” lucy questions, cradling a vodka cruiser.

“He started dating this girl and got really distant. She told him to drop me, eventually i got so sick of it i tried to walk out and we got into an argument. He said… some stuff, so i got the hell out of there.” i summarise, avoiding eye contact. Leo elbows me, “you wanna say the rest?”

I cringe, the whole situation not having been my best moment.

“Okaywellyeahihadacrushonhim butineveractedonitsoidontknowwhyshewassomad-”

Leo laughs.

“Im fuckin doomed for eternity, he wants to talk”

____________________________

“I think you should.” danielle says, crowded around a bar table in a bustling underground joint. I shake my head. “Do i even bother though? How do i know hes not going to just reprimand me for what happened?” i groan, my head in my hands. Vic hands me a much needed drink. I sigh, unsure of what to really do with myself.

A couple drinks in, vic whisks dani away to the dancefloor, leaving me alone. I toy with the straw of my drink, running my fingers over the rim. Somebody sits opposite me. I look up, meeting the eyes of folio. “You okay?” he asks, signature grin slapped across his face. “I’m good, you?” i answer, trying to make smalltalk. He replies with a nod, downing the rest of his drink. “Shouldn’t you be with the boys?” my voice is quiet, small. “Nicholas and noah are god knows where. Jollys chatting up some girl. Didn’t wanna kill his vibe. Plus you looked sad so….”

Right. He was only here because he pitied me. Just like the rest of them. “”Nick, it was great talking to you but i think im gonna head back to the buses.” I say, packing my things up. “Oh- okay. Get there safely.” he smiles, pulling me into a hug. I step out, exhausted. I slip towards the side alley, reaching for a cigarette in my bra. I lean my head back on the cold brick wall, the night air was cold compared to the short dress i was wearing. I was honestly a mess… this was all so…. Confronting.

I wait patiently for my uber, wanting to get the hell out of here. “You got a lighter?” i gulp, turning around. Im face to face with his chest. Fuck i forgot hes a fucking giant. I look up at him, nodding. I watch him light a joint, leaning on the wall next to me. “You wanna talk.. Or..?”

I take a deep breath. Contemplating every single life choice.

“Are you and her still together?” i ask, rubbing my hands on my thighs anxiously. He shakes his head, taking a drag. “I broke up with natasha four years ago.” i hum, so they stayed together a whole year after i left. I look up at the night sky, unsure of what to say next.

“Im sorry for what i said to you.”

Im almost immediately agitated. “You hurt me noah.” he rubs his face, handing me the joint. “You don’t think i don’t know that?! I watched you walk out that door knowing there was nothing i could do-” “there was SO much you could fucking do.”

Its silent for a moment.

“She threatened me that day.”

“What?”

“Natasha. She slashed my tires.”

Hes honestly.. Taken aback.

“Sorry?”

“She told me you’d never love me. That i was pitiful for thinking i had a chance.” i swallow, avoiding eye contact.

“Bella-”

I take a drag. “I’m sorry noah.”

“What for..?” he says, almost holding his breath.

“I told you that i hoped you’d feel sick to your stomach when you hear my name.” i laugh bitterly.

He nods.

“Uhh… not exactly far from the truth.”

We sit in comfortable silence, just smoking.

“I broke up with her because she cheated on me. Shes a tattoo artist now, atleast thats what ive heard from nosey interviewers.” he says, effectively breaking the silence.

I don’t say anything, staring at the ground. It starts to rain.

“We weren’t supposed to end like this.” he speaks again.

“Atleast not in my dreams.” i laugh.

“Chase two girls, lose the one.” noah says, looking down the alleyway.

I look at him quizzically.

“Wait. you liked me?”

“Like.”

fuck this. I need to go, i need to get away from him. Fuck. fuck im going to fuck something up. I shouldn’t of done this.

My heels click as i begin to run away again, wiping frantic tears. He reaches for my wrist, his fingers warm compared to the coldness of the night. pulling me back to him like a safety net. Almost immediately i wrap my arms around his waist, sobbing.

“I don’t hate you” i wail, he sighs, stroking my hair.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

“I know bella.” he murmurs, tightening his grip on my waist.

“I should.” i sniffle, looking up at his doe brown eyes.

“You should. And it makes me the luckiest bastard in the world that you can’t manage to.”

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saturnbellfromhell · 1 year ago

Text

SKINCARE TIPS part II.

Hello my lovlies, welcome back to a new post! I wanted to come back with something easy and fresh for the beginning of the colder season, since I'm guilty for not taking care of my skin in the fall as much as I am in the summer time. So I want to make a quick post about skincare once again. If you have any questions leave then bellow, I always anwser! With that being said let's get into the post shall we?

〰️ DISCLAIMER

I'm am not a certified dermatologist/cosmetologist, I highly advise to go to one if your having a hard time with your skin! With that being said, let's get into the post. 🕊

TIPS AND TRICKS

I. INTUITIVE SKINCARE

Now I know in the first post I talked about skincare cycling and how that can help to stay on track and it's also very beginner friendly to understand the process and the products that go together. But as time goes and you get into skincare you'll soon realize how good it is to monitor and understand your skin. Some days it will be very dry and patchy and some days it will be immensely oily and clogged. That's why I always recommend having two sets of skincare for different occasions. I work in an environment where my face gets dry patches after a few days, so on those nights I reach for my soothing cleanser and heavier moisturizer. If you're forgetful like me, you can also put an alarm in your calender for monitoring, this also helps me out on those busy weeks.

II. HYGIENE AROUND YOUR SKINCARE

I know many people who don't change their towels, wash cloths after a few days and I'm not saying you're dirty for that, I'm just suggesting you should try changing them everyday. I have 7 wash clothes, which I use once a day (morning and night) and I clean all of them together only with my sheets on the highest temperature. I also stopped washing them with softener, since this can lead to build up over time. If you're worried they will seem stiff, add some white vinegar, they fluff up towels real nice! I advise all my closest friends with acne prone skin to try this out or just use boxed tissues, even though this can be a little pricey and not eco friendly. Not a fan of makeup remover wipes anyway... to add on to this make sure to buy products with pumps so you don't scoop your hands into the product, even if they've been cleaned. Old skin, dust particles and such can get into the product.

III. OVER EXFOLIATING

I know you've heard people say this a million times, but is really is the case, especially if you have reactive/sensitive skin. Stop using exfoliating products more than twice a week. What this can do is a plethora of bad things. From stripping all the natural oils from your skin to dehydrating it, to making it more sensitive than it was before. Patience is the key here.

IV. RETINOL USE

When talking about patience, the first thing that pops up in my head is retinol, because o boy do you need a lot of patience for this. It can seem very intimidating at first but if you stick with simple steps the purging will not be so bad. Retinol makes skin cells turn over faster, by doing so when you start using it, it will push out more dirt than usual. This is the reason people stop using it. They payed so much for this product and now they have to look at a million blemishes popping out of nowhere. Our skin doesn't like big changes and retinol is a big shock to our skin from the start. So I advise in the beginning doing it once a week. I used to have retinol Sundays and yes I did purge, but not so much I had to stop. A pimple or two a week I would say, and with that I would just put pimple patches on them and it would resolve the issue.

Rules for retinol:

1. Never use retinol in the morning, it degrades in the sun. So you're throwing your money down the drain.

2. Don't mix it with vitamin C, salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide. Yes you can have a skin day where you exfoliate with salicylic acid, but than have a recovery day after. In the same day, I wouldn't recommend it for the majority of people.

3. Never use more than a pea sized amount for a long period of time. Your skin needs to get used to the dosage.

4. I know the "sandwich" method is really popular right now with retinols, but I advise the old fashioned route. Sandwithing is putting a moisturizer before and after a retinol. I like to use a heavy moisturizer after the retinol and that's it. Even if you have acne prone skin, a heavier cream is necessary beacuse retinols dry out skin.

5. Don't apply to damp skin. Even though it may seem like a logical step, it does more damage than good. When applying a retinol to damp skin it penetrates deeper. So this can be quite irritating for your skin.

6. Don't forget the neck area and also your hands!

7. In the beginning do it only once a week and than after a month/two crank it up to twice a week. Really monitor your skin when cranking up the volume of retinol to see if you need to still hold back. Please please please dont rush this step. It's better to hold back a week or two than rushing.

8. Invest in a good sunscreen after getting into retinol and apply it every morning, reapplying every 2-3 hours when doing outdoor activities. If you work only indoor apply in the morning and the moment you exit your work place...that'll do it.

V. SUNSCREEN

For the longest time I didn't invest in some sort of good sunscreen, I have no idea why to be honest with. I guess I was just lazy to be honest. Sunscreen is the most important item to have in your skincare bag. All this money can be spent on creams, toners, moisturizers, retinols and so on...but it means nothing when you don't have UV protection for your skin.

VI. MORE IS MORE

Many think if they have an oily face that they can moisterize less or even not at all. The trick is to find a cream/moisturizer that is not heavy or that clogs your pores. Most of the time you will damage and cause even more blackheads/whiteheads if you don't moisturize because your skin will increase your sebum production. More is more, try out toners as well for amazing hydration!

Also be sure to know that there are 2 types of sunscreen: chemical and mineral.

🖤 Chemical Suncscreens absorb UV rays, acting like a sponge. It's better for oily/acne prone skin because they are lighter than mineral one's. With this being said if you break out easily, you can also try chemical sunscreens. Chemical sunscreens have ingredients like OXYBENZONE, AVOBENZONE and OCTOCRYLENE.

🖤 Minereal Sunscreens reflect UV rays of the skin, they are more suited for babies, sensitive skin and also pregnant women! The ingredients that are in minereal sunscreens are ZINC OXIDE AND TITANIUM DIOXIDE.

IV. BEGINNER ROUTINES

I struggled with this a lot, not even going to lie. When the whole world is just throwing so many products at your face and you just don't know where to begin. What chemicals go together, what is better in the day time, what products should you spurge on etc... I had many problems in the beginning because I was introducing so much to my skin. So I'm going to give a few examples for a beginner skincare routine with some of my favorite products so you don't need to struggle. Also I go by the this too when I'm feeling lazy and don't want to put 10 products on my face.

🖤MORNING

For daytime I recommend just the simple cleanse, moisturize and spf. On to this later you can add hydrating toners, vitamin C, an essence like snail mucin, hyaluronic acid, niacinamide. All of these products can go together!

🖤 NIGHT

Double cleansing in my opinion is a must, even if you have sensitive skin. Start of with an oil based cleanser on DRY skin, message for a minute, rise and than apply a normal cleanser, massage for a minute and rinse again. The oil pulls out gunk from the pores. After that make sure your face is dry and than apply your started retinol followed up with a heavier moisturiser. To this routine later you can also add eyes creams, again essence/and or toners and spot treatments for acne/dark spots.

🖤EXFOLIATION

Even sensitive skin needs exfoliation at less once a week, but be careful to really keep this routine simple. Again double cleanse, only this time the first cleanser is an oil based and the second is a salicylic based cleanser. Follow that up with a very soothing cream. For deeper exfoliation later you can look into exfoliation masks (the ordinary has one with salicylic acid) or a clay mask. Or my personal fave on exfoliation night is aloe vera gel and snail mucin. Glycolic acid and lactic acid are also an exfoliating product.

Hope you enjoyed the post!

xoxo NK

#skincare #dry skin #skincare tips #exfoliation #cleansers #essence #hydration #skincare products #aloe vera #salicylic acid #morning routine #night routine #tips #help #ask

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emyn-arnens · 30 days ago

Text

She stumbled into the settlement out of the dusk. Annael first thought her a trick of the mists, which lay thickly over the lake—the first harbinger of autumn. But a cry pierced the mists, and Annael, running to the blurred shape that dropped suddenly to the ground, found a woman heavy with child lying amidst the reeds.

She pushed away his probing hands, checking her for injury, and rose unsteadily and made as if to leave.

Annael caught her shoulder gently. “Stay,” he said, gesturing to the lights of the houses clustered around them. “Stay and let us aid you.”

ii.

Rían’s labor pangs came on the morning of the first frost. She labored from dawn until dusk, her cries carrying beyond the walls of the healer’s house.

Annael paced outside until her cries ceased, and the midwife came to announce that she had borne a son. Tuor, she named him, and said he would bring great good for both Elves and Men.

But Annael, admitted inside to help tend to her, read in her eyes the words she did not say: she saw no future for herself.

“Stay,” he murmured as he dried her brow. “Stay and recover your strength.”

iii.

In the days after Tuor’s birth, Rían slipped into a deeper grief and hardly stirred from her bed. Annael came to her bedside and combed her hair, grown matted and tangled, in slow, soothing strokes. He carried a basin of water to her bedside and washed her hair, then plaited it as a crown about her head.

Stay, he wove with his fingers. Stay and heal.

Rían did not speak but instead sat silent and hunched, facing east, a lock of golden hair clutched tightly in her fist.

As he left, Annael saw the traces of tears upon her cheeks.

iv.

Her milk came in fitful starts, and Tuor squalled in hunger. Annael’s folk had no wet nurses to provide the milk Rían could not, so Annael sat often at the table by her window and ground handfuls of meal into a powder that when mixed with water formed a thin gruel. He fed Tuor from the tip of a ram’s horn. When Rían had the strength, he placed Tuor in her arms and she did the same.

Neither acknowledged the satchel that sat by her bed. But as Annael laid Tuor in her arms, he whispered, “Stay. Stay and rest.”

Rían regained enough strength to venture from the house and walk the shores of the lake in the early mornings. Her face had regained some of its color, though she still looked more bone than flesh.

She meant still to leave, to pick her way over the teeth of the Ered Wethrin and through the enemy-choked Anfauglith. With every step, she drifted farther from Mithrim.

Annael feared she would not survive the journey. He feared she did not care if she did.

He caught her arm as she stumbled. Stay, his fingers pressed. Do not throw your life away needlessly.

Rían bade Annael farewell on the morning the snows came. Silently she placed Tuor in Annael’s arms, averting her gaze.

“I bid you safe passage,” he said as the snow fell softly around them.

She turned.

Stay, his heart said, for the mountains will be impassable and you might die before ever you cross them. Stay, for even the thickly falling snow shall not hide you from the enemy.

Tuor’s cry broke the snowy silence. Annael held him close.

Rían hesitated.

Stay, his heart said again, hope welling.

She turned and took Tuor from his arms. “Might we stay longer?”

↳ tolkientober day 9: devotion | AO3

#tolkientober #the silmarillion #annael #rian #my fic #forgot that this was one of the prompts i wanted to do whoops

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allkordelia · 11 months ago

Text

Keep Me Near Your Heart IV

Jaenara woke up with a pounding heart, her body shivering from the nightmare she just had and last night's events. She glanced at the empty side of the bed where Aemond had slept, feeling a pang of both longing and apprehension. She looked away from the empty spot to see Enith passed out in the armchair in front of the fireplace, Jaenara frowned at the state the maid was in and pushed the covers from her abdomen getting out of bed.

The poor woman's back was probably sore from how she was sleeping, jaenara walked over to Enith and tapped her shoulder but nothing happened so she did it the second time, and nothing happened again, so she grabbed enith's shoulder and shook her causing the young woman to stir and grumble.

"...huh, what," she said drowsily before snorting unladylike as she slowly drifted back to sleep making Jaenara's brows fly up in shock.

"Uh, I...I don't mean to wake you," Both of Enith's eyes snapped open when she heard her lady's voice, jaenara stepped back in surprise as Enith scrambled up off the chair using her fingers to brush her back in place.

"Forgive me, princess," Enith says with her hands clasped in front of her and head bowed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep--"

"It's alright, it happens," Jaenara replied softly making Enith lift her head quickly to look at the young princess.

Enith watched as Jaenara stepped away from her and turned back to the bed before back on and under the covers, Jaenara huffed as she soothed out the blanket before looking at Enith.

"Enith," Jaenara called making the handmaid turn towards her young mistress with wide and curious eyes, "I think I shall have my breakfast in bed," The thought of getting out of bed and getting dressed in only god knows how many layers and just to sit around your quarters doing nothing but reading and looking out the window out to the garden.

"Of course, princess." Enith says coming up to stand at the end of the bed, "Is there anything particular you would like for breakfast, m'lady." Enith asked, making Jaenara think about it for a moment.

"Some crumpets with a bit of honey will be nice." She said.

Enith smiles and nods.

"Crumpets with honey, excellent choice, m'lady." A small smile etched its way onto Jaenara's lips.

As Enith turns away to carry out her mistress's order, Jaenara faces away from the maid to look at the spot she slept in last night. Her mind wandered to last night and everything that happened, jaenara wrapped her arms around herself at the distance memory of Ser Cole's cackle. It made her remember why she needed to see Aemond.

"Enith," Jaenara called suddenly with her eyes remaining on the empty spot, the young maid stopped in the doorway and looked at her mistress, "If you...have the chance..." Jaenara looks over at Enith, "...will you see where my lord husband is." Enith stared at Jaenara for a moment thinking about going against her mistress' wishes, she hadn't been there for long but she could already tell that the prince was no good, but what royalty are.

"Of course, m'lady." Enith finally says making Jaenara nod her head in gratitude before leaning back against the headboard, Enith bows before turning around leaving Jaenara alone with her thoughts.

「 ⊹₊♚₊⊹ 」

As the morning sun cast a soft glow on the courtyard of the Red Keep, Jaenara spotted Aemond sitting alone on a stone bench, lost in thought. She approached him cautiously, her voice trembling as she spoke. "Aemond, we need to talk."

He looked up, his eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and confusion. "Jaenara?" His gaze flickered towards her face, a flicker of something crossing his expression before he quickly masked it. "What do you want to talk about?" He said as he turned his body to look at his wife.

"We will get to that...but first, where were last night?" She questioned, "I woke up and you weren't there, and the same for this morning." Aemond cast his gaze else before he planted his hands on his thighs and stood up.

"I couldn't sleep...so I returned to my old chambers after I went for a walk." He said Jaenara nodded her head slowly thinking why he couldn't return to their chambers, but she didn't want to question him even more than she needed to.

She wasn't there to know where he was last night, but to tell him some terrible news about his mother's knight and his mentor/father figure.

"Why are you asking me all these things, dove," Aemond asked as he walked up to Jaenara making her look up at him nervous.

Summoning all her strength, Jaenara took a deep breath and uttered the words that had been haunting her since the attack. "Aemond...Ser Cole attacked me last night."

It took Aemond a while for the words his wife said to register in his head before a scoff broke out of him making Jaenara frown. "That's impossible. Ser Cole wouldn't do that--"

"Aemond--"

"I have known him since I was a mere boy, Ser Criston is a noble and honorable man. He would never do something so horrible, especially to a princess." Aemond says taking a step forward glaring down at his wife, making Jaenara turn her eyes to the pebble floor, "So, are you telling me that man did something to you, why was he in our quarters." Jaenara looks up at him with tears I'm her eyes.

"I don't know, I woke and you were gone and when I didn't see you in the solar I thought to go look for you but then the door was locked and..." Jaenara couldn't stop rambling, she knew Aemond was going to be mad or even angry but it felt like he was blaming her, "...he unlocked the door he said it was for my protection that it be locked, and started saying things that made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe--"

"Unsafe? What did he say?" Jaenara shrugged her shoulders and tried to remember what Ser Cole said.

"I don't...I can't remember..but it was something about my mother and then he tried to kiss me and..." She trailed in distress shaking her head, she sniffed trying to keep her tears at bay, "...I was scared, aemond." She flicked her teary eyes up at him, aemond stared at her with a blank look contemplating if he believed her or not.

"If he attacked you then where are the bruises, hmm?" Jaenara didn't see any bruises on her when she dressed this morning, even though Ser Cole had been handling her like a rag doll, "Where are they, jaenara?" He challenged making tears slip down her cheek.

Her heart sank, realizing the enormous obstacle she faced. Even the person closest to her seemed to underestimate the gravity of her words. "Aemond, I understand this is difficult for you to accept, but Ser Cole did attack me, I saw his face, and heard his voice clear as day. I do not think there be a day that passes that I don't remember what he did to me." She said looking up at him.

A flicker of belief passed over aemond's face, but he quickly regained his composure. "I need proof, Jaenara. Accusing my mother's sworn sword and a loyal knight to our house without evidence could blow back in our faces..." he states, jaenara didn't have any proof, all the individuals present when Ser Cole attacked her were her and him, the others present after was Ser Ashford and Ser Krey.

Ser Ashford wasn't going to defend her nor Ser Krey even though it did look like he was worried about her. But, his loyalty lies with his brethren rather than the princess they have sworn to protect, and Enith gets there a bit too late but Jaenara doubts even if she had been there, she would have stayed silent as well.

"So, I must ask you, jaenara..." The young princess snaps back to the present and looks uncertainly at Aemond, "...Is it possible that you could....have dreamed or mistaken Ser Cole's advances." Jaenara staggered back from Aemond with wide eyes as if she had just been slapped, she couldn't believe he was asking her that.

More tears welled up in her eyes as her dread grew. "No." She argued, "I-I didn't imagine him attacking me, Aemond. I know he did." She insisted, aemond sighed jaded, his shoulders slumping as he looked at Jaenara, she could see the mixture of skeptical and weariness in his eye, "How can you not believe me after everything I just said, how can you doubt me, You wife of all people...over him." Jaenara couldn't deny that she was mad at Aemond, she wished that this could have gone a different way and not the way she already knew was going to go for her.

Aemond ran a hand through his shining silk hair. His voice softened, yet remained firm. "Jaenara, please understand that I love you. But you cannot simply point fingers at a trusted knight like Ser Cole without concrete evidence." Jaenara closed her eyes feeling betrayed by her husband, "But..." he said making her look at him, "I will look into it and find out the truth myself,"

"You will?" She asked with a glimmer of hope, Aemond nodded his head before putting his hand on Jaenara's arm.

"I will get to the bottom of this mess, but you must do something for me." Aemond inquired making Jaenara ask him what it was wanting to be helpful, "Trust me." Was all he said before pecking the top of her head.

Trust him. She could do that she thought, Aemond never lied to her before so if he says he will deal with it he will deal with it.

"I trust you, Aemond. With all my heart." Jaenara said softly.

Aemond paused, looking at Jaenara, her eyes held so much emotions that it touched something in him when she saw a single tear slide down the corner of her eye. A sudden feeling sparked inside of Aemond, he moved his hand to flicker away the tear making Jaenara look away shyly at the action.

"It's nice out. Let's go for a walk around the garden to clear your head" Aemond suggested sweetly, holding out his arm for her, jaenara took it with a gracious smile before being led away towards the garden.

「 ⊹₊♚₊⊹ 」

Jaenara was in her quarters reading when her husband, Aemond, burst through the door accompanied by the last man she wanted to see. Startled, Jaenara looked up from her book, her lavender eyes wide with surprise.

"What is this, Aemond?" she blurted out standing up, her voice laced with fear as she stared at Ser Cole.

Aemond's normally calm demeanor was replaced by a distinct air of determination as he approached, striding purposefully across the great chamber. "Dove," he began, his voice trembling with intensity, "We need to talk."

Her heart raced as a foreboding sense of unease settled over her. Ser Cole didn't have shackles on his wrists and ankles indicating that he wasn't under arrest for his crime against her, Jaenara looked at her husband fuming next to a smug Criston.

"Aemond, why have you brought him here?" she asked, her voice tinged with both trepidation, moving her hands to ball at her skirt.

Aemond paused, his grip tightening on the hilt of his sword, his knuckles turning white. "This man," he declared with a mixture of anger and determination, "is the very same man you accused of attacking you many moons ago, is that right?" Jaenara started to tremble as she nodded her head.

"Ye-yes he did--why is he here, Aemond?" Jaenara questioned unnerved by the other man's presence.

Aemond's throat contracted as he let go of his sword and stalked toward Jaenara, she didn't understand what was going on, she didn't understand why aemond looked so angry while Criston looked like he hit a gold mine. But, it doesn't matter why because what happens next is fill in the blanks.

"He is here for you," Aemond said darkly making Jaenara look at him frightened, aemond grabbed Jaenara by the arm roughly pulling her along.

"What, what do you mean--" She asked frantically as she dug her heels into the floor to keep from going any further, aemond was twice her size and could easily toss her over his shoulder but he settled with just shoving her.

Aemond pushed Jaenara roughly making her fall to the floor in front of Criston, she pushed herself up and looked up at him before looking at her husband who moved to squat down to be at level with her.

"Apologize." He demanded making Jaenara look at him confused.

"For what--what for?" She asked making aemond clench his jaw.

"You lied to me." He simply said before continuing, "You told me he attacked you‐‐"

"He did!" She cries, "Aemond, why would I lie to you." Aemond slapped Jaenara's hand as she reached out for him.

"Why didn't you tell me Ser Ashford and Ser Krey were there?" He asked suddenly making Jaenara look at him speechless that he knew, she looked over at Ser Cole and wondered what he told her husband, "Jaenara, look at me...said look at me!" Jaenara's face was turned roughly by aemond as he grasped her jaw, his gripe causing her eyes to well up and her hand to go to his wrist, "I ask you question and I want answers." Jaenara was crying mess on the floor, she didn't understand why this was happening to her, she hadn't done anything bad to Ser Cole or Ser Ashford yet they hurt her in a way she had never been hurt before it was worse than alys ignoring her.

"ANSWER ME!" He bellowed angrily making Jaenara flinch and cry even more.

"...I don't know, okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..." She cried shaking her head, she didn't know why she was apologizing, it wasn't her fault, she wished Aemond would see that.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Aemond said turning his nose up at her scornful, "Get up." He spit grabbing her arm roughly and bringing her up with him, "Apologize now." He demanded firmly staring her down as they stood in front of Ser. Ole.

Jaenara's eyes were trained on the floor when she peeked up at Ser Cole, the older man wore a placid look but inside he was celebrating the look of defeat on Jaenara's soft features.

"Aemond, I...I can't." She whispered after she looked back down to the floor doleful.

Aemond clenched his jaw at Jaenara's stubbornness, he towered over her making her shrink and slowly back away from him but aemond's hand grasped her wrist before she could move any further.

"You will apologize or I will have that servant whip for attacking Ser Cole." He threatened, Jaenara looked at Aemond's confound.

"She...She has nothing to do with this, she wasn't even here when he attacked--" Jaenara squeaked in fright as Aemond's grip tightened on the spot above her elbow, his nails dug through the fabric, certain this time a bruise would be left.

He turned her so she could be in front of him.

"ENOUGH!" He bellowed angryily getting fed up with her "lies", Jaenara trembled next to him hiding her face, "Ser Ashford corroborated his story, so did Ser Krey, are you telling me they are liars too, that they would lie to their prince!" He shouted jaenara sniff willing herself to look at Aemond.

The intense glare was intolerable it made her want to look away but at the same time it didn't, it was obvious that Aemond believed Ser Cole over her. Especially with witnesses to back up the knight's story. So, what can she do? The small hope of aemond finding proof of Ser Cole's crime was long gone now, if she continued, she knew that Enith would be punished and Aemond would hate her forever unless...

"...I..l.." Jaenara gulped before licking her lips, she spoke in a low whisper, "...If I apologize...promise me you'll keep him away from me," Aemond squinted at her before he looked at Criston, the older man stood looking at them, but the knight's attention was solely on jaenara.

A glint that Aemond saw whenever Ser Cole talked to a maiden or his mother, he looked away from the knight and back at Jaenara. Aemond wasn't sure at first when Jaenara told him about Ser Cole and he kept his word to her about getting the truth, and in the beginning, he did find out more about what occurred that night. He talked to servants who were in the wing when it happened, and they reported hearing feminine screams, and when he went to confront Criston. He was met with Ser Ashford and Ser Krey, and the older man explained what happened and Ser Krey backed him.

There was something off that he couldn't put his fingers on, the young knight, Krey, seemed skittish and unsure. But, he didn't wish to go further with investigating the situation, he had better things to do than chase down his wife's lies.

"Fine." He agreed with an eye roll before letting her go.

Jaenara took in a shaky breath before she turned around slowly, her eyes trained on the ground as she tried to urge herself to look up at the man and be done. Jaenara lifted her eyes to see Ser Cole standing there like self self-righteous statue with a look that made her want to...Jaenara exhaled through her nose before mumbling out her apology.

Ser Cole raised a brow, he took a step closer making Jaenara take a quick one back only to bump into Aemond's chest.

"I didn't quite catch that, princess. Can you repeat yourself?" Jaenara grinds her teeth together before repeating herself.

"...I'm sorry--" She started.

"Speak up, mouse." He goaded making Jaenara bite her tongue at the new nickname.

"...I said I'm sorry, Ser Cole." She repeated louder making Cridton lean back with a small smile.

"I forgive you, princess."

Jaenara huffed angrily before turning on her heels, she sidestepped Aemond and bolted towards her room, she closed and locked the door behind her. She didn't have the energy to see or talk to Aemond, he could go sleep on the sette or his old chamber. Jaenara isn't a violent person, but she never in her life wanted to cause harm to someone so bad, chilling thoughts of making Ser Cole pay for what he did bring a bit of comfort to Jaenara, but it also scared her.

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