#ive said all of this before but im realizing how long reading all the answers i gave for this au is rip

[hana-no-seiiki]

YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT ME NOT F*CK ME!

yan! school grass (most handsome/perfect guy)/rival x crossdresser! male! reader x yan! friends - part one

tw/cw: mention of abusive parents (but not reader’s) and yandere themes. also your rival has some repressed sexual urges, he really needs to get laid or some head or something-

just read migi and dali and gahd NOW I WANNA WRITE A WHOLE CROSSDRESS /GENDERBENDER BL NOVEL IM IN HORRID ROTTING

Like I imagine this the best with stoic and/or tsun yans the best. You know those types that want to be perfect but only feels perfect when they’re with reader.

ive always loved these tropes as a kid, from mulan to that one tawog episode where darwin fell in love with fem! gumball and like this was even before i knew i wasnt cis but gahd AAAAAAA

also inspired by @moyazaika ‘s rival work. go read it!!

but anyways have the fic, lowercase intentional for first part to differentiate povs.

it was a dare given by your friend group earlier last weekend. wear the girls uniform and a wig for the entire month. it was easy to get the materials necessary for the most part. your mother had several wigs and was more than happy to style her son in feminine clothing. she was just amazing and supportive about your whims like that.

it didn’t take long for you to realize that no one recognized you in your new look.

the day started like many of your other ones at the school, you’d race your rival as the first one in class and whoever wins gets rights to a smug look on their face until the next thing you guys eventually compete on.

but unlike the crestfallen expression you expected — nay wanted — from that stupid pretty boy, you were greeted by what you could only described as complete bafflement.

“what?” despite having a different reaction from what you imagined, you managed to keep a composed appearance. “cat got your tongue?”

“ah. . .”

and that were the only words he said to you the entire day. nothing else. not a single groan of anger whenever you answered everything correctly, he didn’t even attempt at stopping you mid-way or disagree with you answer simply because he wanted to annoy you.

and so you couldn’t help it, as soon as the bell rang signalling lunch time you swiftly turned around to face him.

“are you alright?”

you inquired. not at all worried about his well-being at the slightest. you hated him with all your being after all and you didn’t make an effort to be soft with your tone either.

“h-huh?” he looked dazed. like his head had been in the clouds and you just yanked him down to ground.

your rival never got distracted.

“you—“ you reached out about to smack his face to keep him in check.

“if you’ll excuse me!” he smacked your hand out of the way, screeched at you, and then left in a hurry to who knows where.

nevermind that was definitely him. that silly brat hated it whenever you touched him. he must have just been having issues at home again or something.

Haoyu was trembling — shaking uncontrollably as his breaths turned more shallow by the second. His heart was pumping blood in places of his body where it shouldn’t have been in the middle of school hours. Sweat lined his entire skin and it didn’t help how the bathroom he rushed into had nothing to keep the temperature down.

Who were you?

You sat at his rival’s seat. That nasty kid that always got in his nerves. No one questioned the boy’s absence and he would have asked the teachers on what had happened if you didn’t suddenly take his breath away.

You were, ethereal. Otherworldy even. When he first saw you he was taken away by the way your hair moved in the wind (if only he knew . . .).

Still, he was far too distracted by [Y/N]’s absence to properly let the feeling simmer.

Then, all that went away when you reeled in his mind back at you again at class. You were incredible, capable, intelligent, and oh so perfect. But unlike that stupid child that usually sat in front of him, he did not feel an ounce of envy at all.

If only who could see your eyes as you spoke; the tone of your voice conveyed so much passion that he wanted to see in those beautiful (e/c) orbs.

And his prayers were granted by none other than the goddess that is you,

“Are you alright?”

Your voice? Oh your voice! Haoyu’s heard it already of course, but each new time you spoke it was like a whole new melody, a new piece that immediately turned into his favorite.

His mind was too fried with these thoughts, thoughts that his parents would no doubt beat out of him if they found out.

His feels the parts down there suddenly move. He wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the phenomenon. He wasn’t without his hormones after all. But this was the first time it ever reacted that way so strongly, like if he didn’t give it attention himself it’d explode.

“Mmph…”

And for the time in his entire life, Haoyu does something he knew his parents would definitely be disappointed if not livid about. A hand on his mouth, and another in his school uniform’s pants.

lunch time.

you usually spent those studying or preparing for the next class as hanging out with your friends always ended with you being too distracted to do schoolwork but today you had to show up with ‘proof’ that you went through with their dare.

“yiran ? yichen ?”

no response.

you sighed. as usual, the twins were late. what did you expect? those two would be caught dead before they could be early much less found in the library.

and so you spent the entire time reading,

unaware of the crowd that formed around you while you were busy studying.

[rubywithecat]

Tokyo revengers boys when you ignore them after one night stand (pt.1)

Mikey

-he almost doesnt recognize you

-when he senses the familiar scent when you passed through him, he couldnt help but turned his head

-"Hey wait" he called out. "do i know you?"

-U frozed. "I dont know you..." u lied. He walked to face you and looked you carefully. U broke the eye contact and excused yourself.

-he grabbed your hand which made your body gravitated toward his chest

-"your a bad liar" his lips nearly toucing yours. "plz dont ignore me. ive been searching u everywhere"

Ran Haitani

-He thought he would just forget you as like he does for many women who he had slept with

-But something about u made him craving u more, maybe cuz of ur innocence (u were a virgin)

- U were going to ur class when u heard a smiliar voice, u quickly hide when u caught a glimpse of him

-he was on his phone and he seemed to like noticed that u hide, he smirked

-"Rindou, I will call u back" he closed his phone and walked toward where u were

-ur heart was beating so fast and u just prayed he would passed through and closed ur eyes

-"Found ya" he whispered, loud enough for u to hear. "U who snaked away from me after i gave u ur first best night ever. Don’t u think it’s a lil bit unfair to me?” he grabbed ur waist as if he could read ur mind about escaping

-"u cant run away from me second time, Miss"

Chifuyu Matsuno

-He tried to forget about what happened that night and didnt even think he could meet u again

-when he saw u at the mall, he was about to call u out but he saw u with a kid, he thought its ur kid

-he didnt try to talk with u anymore cuz he doesnt wanna be a threat to ur marriage or smth

-u also saw him but u were too nervous to go and talk cuz u liked that guy so much “what if he doesn’t remember me? I would just embarrass myself” u whispered to urself

-as u guys parted, u were sad and hopeless

-"hey (kid name), i need to use toilet. dont go anywhere before i come back,okay?' u bent down to the kids height and smiled.

-"Yes” he replied cutely. "Good boy." u told him and go to toilet quickly.

-just a hen u come back, u saw him talking to a guy so u rushed quickly.

-"how old r u?" u could hear slightly. "i am 8" ur nephew answered.

-"what did i tell u (kid name)?Dont talk to random--' u scolded him before realizing that guy

-"he just saved me from some bad guys who tried to steal our shopping bags" ur nephew answered.

"Oh god" u sighed and turned back to him, but dont dare to look at him. "Umm... thank u for saving my nephew..." u said awkwardly.

-He was stunned but he felt relieved and glad that he wasn’t ur son

-U were about to walk away when he started to talk, "Im sure we met before, right?"

-U looked back at him and he was smiling at u and it was not a question. He remembered u and will not let u go anymore

Hanma Shuji

-From the moment he saw u, he couldn’t lie to himself that he fell in love with u

-Whenever he fcks someone he always think about u

-He was pissed that u left him after s*x without even leaving ur number

-He tried his best to forget u

-u didnt expect to meet a one night stand u met last year at the club u work

-Ur not like a stripper or anything like that. U work as a waitress there as u have no choice to pay for ur collage

-U quickly covered ur face as he walked passed through

-"maybe he wont even remember me at all. It was long time ago" u relieved. But then he stopped.

-"Hey" he called u. "Wtf- plz don’t remember me" u mumbled. U dont wanna invlove in gang things so its best to stay away

-"Do u know where are vip rooms?" he asked u

-"Uh— it’s at ur left, sir" U didnt dare to look back and just answered nervously, hoping he doesn’t see ur face

-U stared at u from behind for a sec and then walked away, smoking.

-“U see that girl over there? Bring her to my room” he ordered the waiter

-“Sir, I’m afraid she’s just a waitress and doesn’t do that kind of thing ya know…” the waiter answered, afraid “I- could suggest u the best beautiful stripper in our club. I’m sure u will be satis—“ before he could finish his word, he was punched to the ground.

-“Useless shits” he mumbled as he looked down and wiped the blood strain on his ring “Bring her to me” he said and left as he threw sone cash to the waiter face.

-U entered the dim light room, written “VIP” cuz ur coworker begged u so u empathized him

-“Were u searching for me?” U said impatiently and faked to be confident when u were trembling inside. “Look, just to be clear, im not interested in sleeping with u. I just come to tell u that so plz leave me alone and my coworkers, sir”

-Hanma just laughed helplessly as he finds that cute and as u were about to leave, he tightly hugged u from behind and kissed ur neck, leaving a mark

-“Who said I care whether ur intreated or not?” he smirked. “U were already mine. Don’t u dare run away from me… please?” His voice changed. It was the first time he begged for someone and u also feel that part of u just can’t resist him

—

A/N: Hi! Welcome back y’all! <3 So, I have been disappearing for a long time cuz of final exam and now it’s over so I can finally write back and have a lot of ideas that I wanna share with u guys. <3

Sorry for not being able to respond the requests but now that I’m free, I will be open to ur requests again! :*

And I hope u guys like this one and any supports are very much appreciated, loves <33

—

[ifyoucandaniel]

I want to thank you for making your list of recommended long batfam fics. I have been making my way through it and I am really enjoying them! ESPECIALLY cards on the table (I also love Dark Matter but I had already read it). Please let us know if you ever get more long batfam fic recs 🥺

okay so ive been waiting to answer this until i had gathered a good chunk of new long fics and ive been getting a lot of similar messages asking for recommendations, so here is another list of my fav long batman fics!

Jason and the Three Terrors by @cdelphiki, 220k, ongoing, T. if i can get you to read one thing, let it be this. ohhh my god where to even begin, this is a fic where jason stays with the league after his dip in the lazarus pit for a little while and winds up being charged with getting damian, his cousin, and his sister out of the league safely. this fic is just so fucking good, cdelphiki always writes such seamless relationship growth and watching jason go from "im dropping these brats off first chance i get" to "im a single mother of three and i need to provide for my kids" is phenomenal. 1000/10, the writing, the kids, the relationships, please do yourself a favor and read this.

A Collision of Masks by Movaz, 169k, completed, T. !! guys. this is such a good dick grayson-centric fic. this is set in an AU where batman never joined the justice league so the justice league knows very little about batman inc. and consequently dick never joins YJ so the YJ team is tasked with checking out a new hero called nightwing in bludhaven and police officer grayson is tasked with helping the team in their investigation :) really good fic exploring dick juggling all his identities and finally gaining people he can rely on! i actually did a bind of it so you know i love this story so much

Life Happens by @cdelphiki, 176k, complete, G. ok so this fic is probably one of the most beautiful stories of growth and love i've read. its about tim and damian being transported from their world into ours where they're only comic book characters and they start to build a life for themselves here. cdelphiki is one of the most amazing authors, im currently going through all of their works, but this one has just stayed with me and i dont think anyone should pass it up. watching tim and damian grow together and seeing damian have a real childhood and just the whole concept of life happening wether you want it to or not is so beautifully done. cannot recommend enough.

Honoring Promises by LananiA3O, completed, 14k, T. okay this isnt actually a long fic, but its one of my favorite fics ever and i need it on this list. if you're like me and you love UTRH aus where instead of sticking around as red hood after bruce threw a batarang at his throat jason fucks off and disappears to live a normal life, this is for you. from dick's pov, he realizes jasons last letter was a last attempt at reaching out and stalks him until he finds out what really happened to his little brother. i think about this every day and wish it was 10000 words long

The Time Before by @cdelphiki, 80k, completed, G. at this point this is basically just a cdelphiki fic rec lmao when i said everything by them was good, i meant that shit. this is a fic where jason is sent back into time when he was 9 years old but still has all his memories from the future. he goes to bruce for help despite wanting to do literally anything else and is surprised to realize maybe everything isn't how he remembers it 10 years in the future and maybe theres a chance he can go home when hes older again. once again cdelphiki hitting me in the feels with this one, really amazing study on how time and pain can change how you perceive and remember things and also just forgiveness and fixing mistakes and accepting mistakes were made. very good, highly recommend

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors by Sophene, 80k, completed, batlantern, T. I have no excuse for this, this is such a fun and funny fic i love it so much. basically HOA president single dad bruce with his 10 million adopted kids and then hal jordan moves in next door and plays his music too loud at 10pm on a school night and throws parties and bruce has a stick up his ass about it. i really really love the shift in hal when kyle comes to live with him as his ward (? i cant actually remember if hes adopted or just a ward) and seeing him finally understand why bruce acts the way he does when it comes to his kids. also seeing bruce just being a tired dad 90% of the fic when he isnt glaring at hal is so good.

Option C by CasualGeek, 78k, completed, T. this has, in my opinion, a very unique and interesting premise. basically, what if instead of becoming red hood, jason comes back to gotham and manages to get Joker put on trial for the murder of sheila haywood and get the insanity plea thrown out. really interesting approach to batman and joker and jason technically doing things through the legal justice system and what that means for him and the people around him. very good, read it all in one sitting

butcherbird, fly away home by e_va, 41k, completed, M. lost days jason todd loml! basically what if when jason was off on his world tour one of his tutors kidnapped bruce wayne and jason has feelings about it against his will. "what if lost days jason was stuck in the same room as a sick bruce for more than 10 minutes and actually had to talk to him without punching him" AU and i throughly enjoyed it. @darlingatlas recommended this one and she never misses with the jason recs

this kind of weather by r_astra, 55k, completed, T. this is the fic something in the static was originally inspired by and if you know me, i love that series, and i love this fic too. another what if jasons mom didnt die until later and social services gets involved before he can bolt and bruce seeks him out with some very interesting news. i love fics that display jason’s relationship with crime alley and him being one of them. very good, i love jason so much

ok now these aren't actually long fics but i need to get them out here because i love them so much and highly recommend!

To My Brother by a_silly_gander, 7k, completed, T. Lost days jason au where he starts sending post cards from his travels to dick on a whim while we follow his time away and the people he meets. i love this one so much, please read it if you love jason and dick, its so special to me.

Enhanced Fashion Sense is a Perk of Being a Cat by 12pt_timesnewromanfont, 23k, complete, G. selina breaks into drake manor to steal a cat artifact and accidentally meets the drakes ten year old son they left home alone. then she starts keeping tabs on him and eventually adopts him and makes him stray. i really love selina finding tim before bruce and taking care of him <3 10/10 i wish selina would adopt me

[untilwedont]

Sleep Well, Dear

I Love You Forever

Pairings: Ethan Landry x Male!Reader

Summary: In which reader falls asleep on Ethan after a long week of studying

Warnings: Mentions of not eating, reader being very sleep deprived, Ethan being a good boyfriend

A/N; Im sorry im writing so much ethan landry fics ive just been so obsessed with him lately 😭

It was finally edging towards the end of the first semester. This was great since your college gave you a break, but with the semester coming to an end came finals week. This was really important to you because you wanted to make sure you passed every class with a good grade. You decided it'd be a great idea to start studying two weeks before finals week, putting all your mental health needs behind you and your studying in front.

It was the first day of studying. You sat in the very back of the library so you wouldn't be so distracted from all the other noise by other people. You read the time on your phone '10:15 AM' You hoped you'd get at least a few hours of studying done before you called it a night. You made sure to tell your friends & your boyfriend where you were incase they wanted to study with you.

What was supposed to only be a few hours turned into wasting your whole day on studying. You checked your phone again, thinking maybe only a couple hours passed.

3 missed calls from 'Mi amor 💘"

1 missed call from 'TaRAAA'

3 messages from 'SAmmm'

'2:15 AM'

Your eyes widened, "Shit, how long have I been in here?" You mumbled before finally looking up from your phone, noticing that the library was empty. Your eyes had been so glued to your textbooks that you hadn't noticed everyone in the library left. You rubbed your hands on your face, your tiredness finally kicking in. "I'll just message them tomorrow, I'm sure their asleep." You thought to yourself before packing up your things and leaving.

'7:15 AM'

You were back in the library once again, disregarding the fact that you hadn't eaten a full breakfast. You only had a granola bar before leaving your dorm. You only got 5 hours of sleep last night but that wasn't important to you. "Okay, this time I'll only be in here for a few hours." you mumbled before opening your textbooks, diving right back into studying.

'9:07 AM'

You checked your phone and saw a message from Ethan asking if he wanted to hang out with he and Anika. You messaged him telling him you'd be able to hang out in a few hours and to just give you time to study a little longer. You gave him a time and he messaged you with a thumbs up emoji and you set your phone back on the table, gluing your eyes back onto the textbooks.

That time was supposed to be '3:00 PM' but when you looked at your phone once more, it read '9:10 PM' What the hell? How did time pass by so quickly? You quickly packed your things and left back to Ethan's dorm, knowing he'd still be awake.

You knocked on the door, Chad being the one to answer it instead of Ethan. "Hey um, is Ethan still awake?" You asked the tall figure in front of you. "Oh, yeah he's still awake. He's in his room. I think he might be a little bummed but not sure why." Chad told you and you nodded, walking into the dorm. You knocked on Ethan's door before walking inside. "Hey, Eth? You awake?" You asked as you opened his door. You saw him sitting on his bed with his phone in his hand, the Tv being the only thing that casted light.

He looked up from his phone and immediately got up after he saw you. "M/N, where were you? I thought you said we'd meet at 3?" He asked before putting his arms around you, pulling you in for a hug. "Sorry, I just got caught up in studying. I didn't expect time to pass by so quickly, honestly." He pulled away from the hug before studying your face.

"Have you been getting enough sleep?" He asked, examining the slight bags under your eyes that you hadn't realized you had. "Of course, why?" He shook his head, "Uh- no reason, just asking.." You nodded before kissing him on his lips, "Okay, well I'm gonna go get some sleep. I'll hang out with you tomorrow, okay?" You spoke, holding both his hands in yours. He nodded, "Okay, go get some sleep. I love you." He smiled at you before placing a kiss on your nose. "I love you too." You laughed before leaving the dorm, going back to yours.

A couple days had passed and your sleep schedule was getting much worse. You were hardly eating and the most sleep you got was 2-3 hours. Eyebags developed under your eyes and your friends started to become worried about you. You spent most of your day in the Library instead of with your friends. You spent some of your time crying in the library, your mental health getting worse.

Your boyfriend finally had enough of your sleepless nights and decided that if you weren't gonna let yourself sleep then he'd have to force you. He went to the library to find you since that was most likely the place you'd be at. He ran up to you when he saw you, closing your textbooks. This startled you, causing you to immediately look up, relieved to see your boyfriend. "Eth, what're you doing here? You stared the shit out of me. Also, what time is it?" You asked, checking your phone.

'11:37'

"It's time for you to get some proper rest. Pack your things and get up, we're going to my dorm." He told you, helping you put away. "Wait, what? But-" Ethan cut you off, "No but's, M/N. You haven't been getting any sleep. Also, when was the last time you ate a proper meal?" He asked you, very concerned for your mental health. It took you a second to think, "Maybe.. a week ago? I've been living off of granola bars." You told him, not realizing how much you'd been starving yourself. His eyes widened for a sec before pulling you out of your seat. "Alright, I'm gonna get you something to eat before we head back to my dorm. What do you want, hm? Mcdonald's? Pizza?"

An hour passed and you were finally back at Ethan's dorm. You finally had a full stomach instead of having a half-empty stomach throughout the week. Ethan pulled you towards his room and laid out a pair of warm clothes for you. You put them on before laying down on his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. He wrapped his around yours as well, "You aren't getting up until you've gotten more than 6 hours of sleep, okay?" You mumbled back a 'okay' before closing your eyes, falling asleep within an instant.

Sometime had passed and you were still knocked out. Ethan had been up for a little, admiring your sleeping face, slowly scratching your back. He was interrupted from his door opening. He looked up to see Chad, and before he was about to speak, Ethan softly spoke to to him, "This is the most sleep he's gotten in weeks. If you wake him up I will kill you. Literally." Chad put his hands up in defense before walking out his room, softly closing the door.

Ethan smiled before turning his attention back to you. You seemed so peaceful in your sleep. He softly kissed your head before closing his eyes, falling asleep once again.

[kumezyzo]

yea idk. this is the q&a metioned in this post. 1.5k words... and its all bf!sapnap 😁😁

the spaces between questions are supposed to indicate that a little time has passed, like a cut that would be in a video.

shout out to 🐬 anon for helping me with some of the questions! theyre absolutely amazing 💜💜

anyway, enjoy! or dont.... :) m.list

you and nick sat infront of your desk, both of you going through your phones, making sure you have the questions you both picked out from the responses on your tweet.

you put your phone down and set up your recording. nick reached over, keeping his eyes on his phone, placing his hand on your thigh. it was almost like second nature for him to then start rubbing his hand up and down your thigh.

you pause for a moment, your camera recording. you looked at the moniter that showed you what your camera was seeing. at the very bottom, nicks hand was clearly in your lap, moving slowly. the sight made butterflies flutter in your stomach for a moment.

"you ready?" you ask, looking over at your boyfriend, your eyes darting to the hand on your thigh before looking back up.

"mhmm..." he hummed, double checking one last time before looking up and smiling at you.

"okay then..."

"hey, guys! so, we're finally doing that q&a that we said we might do during our announcement video!" you said, smiling into the camera. "we- well, I tweeted out 'ask questions for a couple q&a' which is kinda cringey but gets the point across!" you laughed awkwardly.

"yea, i mean, to be fair, we just needed something to get people to ask questions," nick said shrugging comically by lifting his arms.

"yea..." you said trailing off. "okay lets start!"

'when did you start dating?'

you read the question out loud, looking up into the camera, "a few months ago. this past november," nick nodded in agreement.

"that kinda goes with one of my questions 'how long did you guys like eachother before you started dating?'"

"oh.... umm..." you trailed off, thinking back to a few months ago when you both started talking.

"ive liked you since the first moment i saw you," nick said dreamily making you shake your head with a snile.

"shut up," you said with a giggle. "i think it was maybe a few months before then... august, september-ish? i think by then it was less of a platonic relationship if im honest."

you looked over at nick, to see him already staring at you. you smiled at him in confusion, tilting your head slightly.

"i think i liked you before then. i always thought you were really pretty. and like you were funny and nice. it just changed for some reason," he said looking into your eyes softly. "and im glad it did..."

you let out a soft breath in surprised confusion. you looked back at the camera and tried to hide your smile.

"phew... okay your turn to read a question!" you said, trying to shift the tension.

"i just did, peaches," he said nonchalantly. you looked into the camera, your eyes widening for a second before you tried to hide the flustered look on your face.

'what did the dream and george think when you told them you were dating?'

"dream already knew i was going to ask you out the night it happened. i had been talking to him about it a lot and he had kinda been telling me to just get it over with," nick said, looking at you as he spoke.

"poor guy," you said shaking your head. "he had to hear about how much you were falling in love with me." you said, flipping your hair.

"yea, he did get tired of hearing about it," he said laughing. "and george just kinda knew, i guess."

you laughed, "he texted me like a week before we officially started dating. he asked me 'are you and sapnap dating? or is it going to happen anytime soon?' and didnt know what to tell him."

'who asked out who?'

you raised your eyebrows at him in amusement once he read the question, "you should answer this one, lover boy."

nick chuckled softly and smiled. "i asked her out..."

you waited for him to continue before you realized he wasnt going to. "oh, come on," you scoffed. "okay, he called me super late at night and-"

"no! they dont need to know all of that!"

"and he basically told me that he loved me and that he wanted to be my boyfriend."

nick groaned as his face began to turn red. you grinned at him and gave him a peck on his cheek. he playfully shoved you away as you giggled.

'do you have nicknames for eachother yet?'

"just babe and baby, really..." you said, trying to recall anything youve called him aside from his name.

"same for me... and i call you peaches," he says, failing to hold back a grin as he looks at the way you shake your head.

"and mamas-"

"okay! next question!" he cut you off, causing you to let out a loud laugh.

nick looked at the camera mischievously as you waited for him to ask the next question.

'favourite position?'

"i think mine would have to be cowgirl," he says nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on his phone as he answers.

your eyes widen at him before your hand shoots to cover your mouth in shock. you turn to stare at the camera, speechless as you lean foreward and rest your elbows on your desk, covering your face in embarrassment.

nick giggles loudly, his face turning a deeper shade of red as he watches your body shake in embarrassed laughter.

"what is wrong with you?!" you yell, your voice slightly muffled by your hands.

he let out a similar high pitched laugh as he got up from his chair and covered his face in embarrassment.

you turned your face in your hands to look at him as he shook his head at you, a groan leaving both of you.

"im keeping that in."

"no youre not!"

"i have to!" you said laughing at the way he shakes his head at you. "youre the one that said it!!"

"but your not supposed to-" he groans, "dont put it in!"

"its going in!" you bleeped him saying which position in post

'is yn moving into the dream team house?'

nick looked at you, not knowing how to approach answering your question.

"i think it would make sense in terms of me being the 'honourary dream team member'," you said with air quotes. "but i dont think i will be moving in." you finish with a smile and looking back down at your phone to find your next question.

"wait you dont want to move in?" nick asks, looking at you in confusion with his head tilted slightly.

"thats not what i said," you said with a confused smile.

"so why dont you?" he asked, this time more as an invitation.

"wha- i mean-" you stammered trying to think of a way to make sense of what just happened. "you want me to?"

"of course i do," he smiled.

he leaned in and gave you a peck on your lips. you smiled and your eyes darted down to his lips again. you licked your lips subtly before leaning back in and kissing him longer this time.

nick reached his hand up to hold the side of your neck as he deepened the kiss. he licked your upper lip, causing you to lightly part them. he took that as a chance to pull on your bottom lip and lightly suck on it before pulling away from you completely.

he pulled away and licked his lips as he nonchalantly pulled out his phone to find his next question.

you looked at him speechlessly and flustered. if you looked close enough at his phone, youd notice he was staring at his home screen, also trying to compose himself. you were just trying to make a mental note to cut that out of the video. you did dw

'why did you decide to announce it now?"

"i think it was just that it felt right," you said, shrugging. "we have been officially dating for like five months-"

"technically four,"

"no?"

"baby, yes,"

"nick, if it was the end of november-"

"its not even a week of november that we dated!"

"and then the entirety of december, january, february, and now the end of march?!"

"thats four months, baby. and maybe a week!" he said waiting for you to do the math in your head. your eyes darted around as you thought for a second. then you pursed your lips and looked away from both nick and the camera in embarrassment.

"I'll still love you dont worry," nick said, reaching back over to your thigh and giving it a soft squeeze.

"shut up," you said rolling your eyes.

"wait, have a question," nick said as you were about to say your next one.

"okay," you said, unsuspecting.

'how many times a week do you have sex?'

"nick!" you look at him in disbelief.

he giggles mischievously, "it really depends on the week, sometimes its every-"

"okay! thats all we need for today!"

"isnt it 'all we have for today'?" he asks with a smirk.

"no today, its all we need," you glare at him. "im done with this q&a," you say as you shake your head.

"thank you guys so much for watching! i hope you enjoyed? dont go subscribe to him! but definitely subscribe to me!" you say with a smile on your face.

"what why?!"

yea idk if i like this much, its kinda bad. i hope you enjoyed. comment, request shit, like. idk 💜 -nony

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 11

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 951

Masterlist

Guysssss I'm sorry if this sucks. I spent all day at the office wishing I could write and then I got home and people just would NOT leave me alone and I had to keep taking breaks 😭😭. Also I kind of didn't know how I wanted this chapter to go at all but now that I'm past it I'll probably have less trouble.

I'm not mad, (Y/n).

It's been three days and you're still avoiding me, but I'm so not mad that I give Ethan a raise and that I buy Paco dinner twice and that I smile at everyone who walks into Mooney’s. That's how you know I love you: I understand that you need time and space to figure out how you feel. And I can wait. And I don't take it out on others. Love is patient, after all.

And this is love. I know it is. You said I am great, and cute, and ugh, and that means something. But you said it yourself: you are ruining this by avoiding me. And when I text you, you're short with me. Why are you doing this to us? Are you the kind of girl who sabotages good things?

Then you finally text me properly. It's a long string of texts, and I want to ignore you because I'm not mad, but I'm a little disappointed in you, honestly, and I think that's fair. But the more I read, the more I smile, and I know I will not ignore you.

YOU: ok im so sorry i know iv been super distant and rude and that is totally on me and id love to tell u iv just been busy or whatever but the truth is actually that i've kind of been avoiding you?? i know i know im a mega bitch. plz forgive me 🙏🏻

YOU: but heres the thing iv never??? done this before??? like gone on dates and gotten drunk and spilled my guts to a guy and liked a guy

YOU: like this is so embarrassing bc i might just be making a super big deal out of nothing

YOU: iv had like six coffees today im sorry im not making sense

YOU: iv never had a boyfriend before and i dont have any other friends here and also im kind of like. super insecure??? so

YOU: you can interrupt me any minute now

YOU: pls

ME: Just give me a moment.

Ethan isn't here to watch the register but honestly, (Y/n)? I don't care. There's only two people in the store and they've both been browsing forever. They're just going to end up buying books they will never read, so I go into the office and close the door behind me. And then I call you.

You answer right away.

“Hey, you,” you say, embarrassed.

“You should have too much coffee more often,” I tell you.

“Uh, no, never again. I have a horrible headache.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” you assure me. I hear something slam in the background. “Oops.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just rearranging my furniture.”

“Okay. Why?”

“I'm having a… day,” you say. “Sometimes I just have these moments where I have to change something about my life right this second, you know?”

“So you rearrange your furniture and you text guys illiterate love confessions.”

“Illiterate!” you exclaim. “I will have you know I am a copywriter, and I'm very good at my job.”

“Uh huh.”

“My failure to capitalize my texts is entirely on purpose.”

“Right.”

“And so is the lack of commas.”

I keep quiet, and you realize that I called what you sent me a love confession. You don't correct me because you do love me. You do.

“So,” you say. “Thoughts?”

“I like you. I think that's pretty clear. I went to a music festival with you, and the music was terrible.”

You laugh.

“But I don't want to push you into anything. Have you really never had a boyfriend?”

“Well, there was this boy at summer camp when I was twelve. We held hands on the swings and he shared his Nintendo with me. But I don't think that counts.” I've never wanted to kill a twelve-year-old boy before. “Then there was a girl when I was fifteen. I liked her but it turned out she was just, like, experimenting. So was I, really. We lasted two weeks.”

A girl, huh? This isn't something I expected. But I don't react, because I know you want me to react, and you also don't always like to get what you want right away.

“But no,” you conclude. “I've never actually dated anyone before. That doesn't mean you're pushing me.”

You are so brave, (Y/n). You've never been in love with anyone before but here you are, taking charge.

On your end of the phonecall, something else slams. Then something shatters. You curse and someone knocks on the office window, and I hold up my finger at him to indicate one minute.

“Hey,” I say. “Do you want me to come over and help? After work, I mean.”

“No. I mean, yes to coming over, but no to helping. I'll just get annoyed because you're not doing it exactly how I want it to be done.”

“I'll just bring food, then.”

Another kock at the window. I'm going to kill this guy.

“Great! I'm craving pizza,” you say.

“Pizza it is. Toppings?”

“Pepperoni. And jalapenos.”

“You got it.”

“See you tonight, Joe,” you say, but what you really mean is I love you.

We hang up and I go help the man. I am so nice to him, because you have invited me to your apartment. You want me there. You want me to sit on your bed and feed you and watch you move your books around because you love me, and you told me you've never had a boyfriend before which means you think I am your boyfriend now.

Closing time can't come soon enough.

[godfistgonnalive]

please ramble as hard as you can about pruita I need to hear what you have to say about them

grabs you by the shoulders very roughly.

ok. my favorite flavor of pruita is utterly unrequited. cuz its very funny to me. my fav thing to do is listen to music and think about unrequited pruita like L imagine 😹😹but also its kind of sad and i like how its sad but also funny

like think about the prussia cleaning game like omg.... he loves him.... its so silly.......

PRUSSIA STROKED IN HAPPINESS! WHAT THE FUCK! GAY!

and he literally was imaginging them like together on some sort of boat idk what its called like ugh

and the fucking BLOG. ive already posted these before but. my god.

he likes him so much....... its unbelievable........

like are you serious. he so very obviously has a crush on him THERES SO MUCH PROOF OF IT AND [im trying to restrain myself here from being salty about prucan shippers so i will stop myself here.]

ok im racking my brain to try and think of what to say rn cuz as much as i say i wanna talk about my ships i know deep down in my heart i dont have much to say that i can turn into coherent thoughts.

back to my thoughts and not canon content. unrequited pruita. like ok you know that hetalia itself is just gerita fanfiction. like i love gerita. who doesnt. and thats where it comes in in my version of pruita. like prussia is so in love with italy and italys like omggg germanyyyy :3 like. oh my gfod can i talk about the songs i associate with them. the answer is yes i cant be stopped.

ok puppy princess by hot freaks. fucking UGH. unrequited big fat crush ANTHEM right here.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. prussia is the goofy friend... prussia loves italy...... and italy loves germany........ my goodness.........

NO OTHER HEART BY MAC DEMARCO. THIS IS LITERALLY PRUITA.

i love gerita truth pruita so much but not in the love triangle way like i mean thats what it sounds like but its more like a fucked up triangle like

it doesnt connect all the way... cuz in love triangles dont they usually like compete!>>! like prussia loves italy but in my pruita brain he wouldnt like.. actually really try to get with italy while he knew that germany was trying to get with him.... you know.... he wouldnt do that to his brother..... so he just keeps his crush to himself.... rip.... and thats the fun of it ! ! ! he yearns but he'll never have him... love that

LOVERS ROCK. BY TV GIRL. THIS ONE LYRIC. JESUS CHRIST.

TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. UGH.

AND LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BY JOY AGAIN. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

IM GONNA GO CRAZY!

and peach scone. by hobo johnson.

ltierally every time... prussia calls italy cute.... god......

now. onto requited pruita.

i think theyre silly cute so much so much :3 :3 :3 hold on gotta check pixiv so i can formulate thoughts. ok like i mostly think about prussia's side of things when it comes to required pruita but in my opinion prussia is CRAZY about that man. jesus christ. and italy thinks hes super silly and loves him 🫶🫶🫶 HOLD ON I SHOULD FILL OUT ONE OF THOSE UNDERSTAND NMY SHIP THINGS HOLD ONNNNNN

got a little lazy but you understand.

i think thats all i have to say . i feel like i didnt really say much just put images and then said something along the lines of "jesus christ" or "what the fuck" but i think you undestand. thank you for asking. PEACE AND LOVE!

ALSO WAIT I HAVE MORE. i LOVE gerita marriage. they are so married. and i love thinking about prussia watching the boy hes had a big fat crush on for god knows how long get married to his brother. LMAO! and hes like crying like hes happy for his brother,... but oh man........ LMAOOOOO

i love prussia so much. make him suffer now

ok thanks for reading :heart:

edit:i just realized onm the height thing onm the ship chart i forgot to put 6 CM and instead put 6 M. oops

[jaemified]

world of my own - kwon soonyoung

track 001 - “you ever wonder what couldve happened if what hadnt happened, happened?”

pairing ; best friends kwon soonyoung x fem reader

genre ; romance, (kinda?) angst, unreciprocated love, starcrossed lovers, right person wrong time, multiverse, very very VERY vaguely inspired by alice in wonderland (and kindaa in a way wandavision)

warnings ; swearing, y/n daydreams a lot, too little too late 😞😞

wordcount ; 1.2k

synopsis ; in a place which you fall into your own dreamland with the one who was meant to be the love of your life, the discussion gets highly theoretical (and not to mention, emotional)

note - counterfactual thinking whoo cz im minoring in econ wooo

read below the cut !

youd be lying if you said you hadnt thought of him in that way.

i mean, how could you not?

kwon soonyoung. he’s perfect inside and out. such a sweetheart, kindest person you’d ever met.

but, he had been rather distant lately.

it was almost a miracle he reached out to you.

of course, you were curious as to why, especially since it was so out of the blue. but you held your tongue.

so, he called you out to your favorite park, sitting under the big willow tree you two always spent the summers under when you were much younger, counting the stars and watching the hours tick by.

the tree was so old now, seeing as it had been around long before both of your guys’ parents were.

soonyoung jumped up from his spot to greet you with a nice hug, “glad you came.” he said as he pressed his lips into a smile.

“course i did. we’re meant to stay together arent we?”

he sat down on the blanket which lined up with the old tree trunk, resting his back up against it.

a few moments of silence passed before you spoke up.

“why did you call me here?” you queried as you examined the tree, brushing your fingers over the now faint initials both you and soonyoung carved into the trunk.

“just wanted to spend time with you, genuinely. i know ive been distant and i can’t make up for the time wasted, but i can end the pattern now, you know.”

“id doubt you’d call me here of all places just to ‘talk’.” you scoffed.

“just missed you is all.” he mumbled as he pulled you into a side hug, letting his head rest in the space between your shoulder and neck.

“missed you too. more than youd realize.” you replied back, keeping the last bit to yourself.

though you grew distant despite being inseparable until two years ago, you could never grow a grudge against him.

so you thought.

but, here you two were. spending the day talking under that same tree just like how you spent most of your childhood.

you caught each other up through a recap of your last few years, until sundown, when soonyoung asked of a pretty theoretical question.

“you ever wonder what couldve happened if what hadnt happened, happened?”

you stared blankly at him, blinking mindlessly.

you were still like that for a good few seconds, before muttering a quick “what?”.

“do you ever think about what couldve happened if things were different between us?” he rephrased.

“oh. as much as id hate to admit it, i do. or did. imagining about what could and couldnt be. but the past is in the past, and what happened can’t be undone.” you explained to soonyoungs curious eyes.

“what did you imagine we could’ve been?” he asked so nonchalantly, with little to no hesitation required.

“what?”

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?” soonyoung asked once more.

“i..” you droned off.

“you don’t have to answer now,” he began with a soothing voice, “just think about it. and tell me what happens when we wake up.”

with that, soonyoung laid his back directly onto the ground with his folded up sweater to act as a pillow.

he pulled you to rest on his chest, wrapping an arm tight around your waist.

you tried getting up, only to be pulled back down. “soonyoung..”

“please? stay with me just this once.”

“i have to go.”

“just one more time before i have to leave for good? i don’t know when ill get to see you next. i don’t know where we’ll stand after today.”

you sighed in defeat, before sitting back down and resting into soonyoungs chest once more.

“just this once..” you mumbled, before drifting off into your indefinite state of slumber.

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?”

soonyoungs words continuously ran across your mind, coursing through your thoughts endlessly, even in your sleep.

you were always quite the heavy sleeper, it was no wonder your dreams were always so realistic you slept the way you did.

you were much aware of the multiverse, as was soonyoung. the topic alone always intrigued you, the possibility of endless scenarios playing out in your mind; and the fact they could be real, yet only in another universe

the thought of dreaming in this world while being awake in another terrified you, but intriguing in the same sense.

every time you drift off into an indefinite slumber, you realize how much you’ve taken for granted in life after seeing the cruel reality thats shown only through dreams, watching your greatest desires be taken out of your reach every time you awake.

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?”

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?”

the words repeated over an over throughout the duration your dream. a good one, but too vivid, it was almost cruel the feeling you felt once you realized it wasnt real.

you and soonyoung were the perfect couple. you were happy and it seemed nothing could go wrong, you were in a serious, long lasting, and healthy relationship.

everything was perfect, it was everything you could ever ask for and more.

he was everything you could ask for and way more.

you don’t think you’ve ever been so happy.

however, that would only happen in a world of your own.

a world where you could be happy.

[rin-and-jade]

im not exactly sure if this is a system thing but im questioning and i wanted to know if any systems relate to this?

for as long as i can remember ever since i was a kid ive kind of always talked to myself out loud, i remember this happening since i was at least 7 i think but idk for sure. i only do it when im alone. i talk quietly, almost whispering to myself as if im talking to an entirely different person whos sitting next to or behind me even though no one is physically there, i can have entire conversations in my head with these people who arent physically there. it also feels like im over exaggerating my feelings and my tone of voice and expressions when i do this despite never remembering what im talking about. when this happens i dont usually realize it for a while and when i finally do i stop and then kinda forget about it, but not actually, the memory of me talking is still there just not the subject, thats what it feels like at least which is probably how im able to write about it now. i usually just move on with my day after and i cant control what i think or say or do because like i said i dont realize im doing this until i stop doing it.

does this make any sense? is this a system thing or is it something else entirely??? do other systems or other people in general ever do this? i know for sure it isnt a normal thing

Before i answer this question, i asked one of my friends, and two strangers to let me know their thoughts and the end result is: they all said no. It is not something in general people do apparently.

And yes, it is true,, this doesn't sound like a normal thing in general. To me, this sounds like a system thing,, because you had shown clear points such as talking to, as if, there's someone; show poor ability to recall stuffs happening; to an extent, not being able to control over what you think, do and say. This is also similar to how my experience looks like before realizing theres a word for it.

With this realization, i would like you to read a couple sources from the internet or scroll around the system community to see if you can relate.

Plus, look out for signs such as, experiencing bouts of dissociation, or changing your handwriting/typing style, hearing people say that you're inconsistent with your words/answers/opinions, often forgetful, have many unexplained gaps of your days or general memories, and sometimes think you are a completely different person. As my last request for you.

After you've done this, you may conclude your answer and consider wether you're a system or not,, oh plus you might want to type the important stuffs down incase you forget or whatnot. Anyway, good luck and let me know if you need more help/want to share updates!

- j

[torchstelechos]

i realize how nothingish this question is regards to like answerability but like how do you get.... ideas...? or. i dont really ever have any kind of bigger things i want to draw its always like small stuff.... or... idk.... i want to make things that are like.. more... i want to make stuff that like... means something makes you think something... most of my stuff is just tiny little things with nothing behind it just something to get it down but i like want to make things that are interesting to look at.... idk..... okay wait ill share a self portrait i did.

^ im really hapoy with this stuff theres color theres studf going on! an eclipse! right like its. its neat theres things theres associations being made theres questions theres something there this is the only thing ive made where i actually feel like ive expressed something that was in me and i just dont know how to do that again i want to make more things like that i want to get more out of my art than just putting stuff down thatll be forgotten the second its down i want what i make to be meaningful to me and idk how... uhhhh anyway thanks for reading thisif you do i just needed to get thoughts out or smth frustrated with this. doing this for six years and its just. ive managed like a handful of things id want to show people everything else is just things made because i just have to do this urghhh sorry about all this

Howdy! I had to take a bit to think of an answer for this question. I didn’t want to fall back on the statement everyone gets when they ask about art (practice), especially since you specified ideas rather than art appearance/style. So! Lets get into that! (gonna be kind of long oops)

First I want to say that I enjoy your self portrait, its very colourful and I LOVE colour. The choices in colour also complement each other very well, as yellow, orange, and blues go well together. Not only that, but the saturation of each colour help bounce off each other and bring it all together. Now, I assume the materials are a blue pen, and crayons? It might be markers, but the way the orange moves across the yellow makes me think of crayons. I adore it! I love crayons and haven’t been able to use them in a while, so it’s nice to see them being used. 

Now, your question, I feel needs some context from my side of things before I can properly answer it. I have been doing art for about 15 years now, and I have done multiple mediums including painting (water colour, oil, and acrylic), drawing (crayons, pens, markers, pencils, etc.), fiber arts (knitting, sewing, crocheting), baking/cooking (i think the presentation counts and how its a medium that takes combing lots of things to make a singular outcome), and a few I wont share right now. I’ve had official art classes that made me do things very specifically, one that taught me art history and how different genres of art were introduced, another on creativity and how to help flourish ideas, and some others on how to use different mediums and styles. I also watch speedpaints, animatics, and animation progress videos to learn some quick shortcuts in digital art since I was never taught officially on digital art. Including all of these, I also have done LOTS of practice in art. Having said this, lets get into some of my own thought processes. 

When I make art, the first things I tend to ask myself is “what do I want” and “what do I think would be interesting”? These aren't mutually exclusive, but they can be answered very differently depending on how I want to do something. For the Siffrin during the Mal du Pays fight piece, I actually started it by seeing a cat picture and thinking, “I want a discord reaction with Siffrin face down on the floor” which went into drawing Siffrin as the cat and then asking myself, “Wait, why is Siffrin face down?” which went into Oh! It’d be funny if it was Mal du Pays! So, doing that I decided to make it in the king's room which meant I had to draw a background. Eventually that transformed into “Okay but it doesnt look right, why?” the answer was that it didnt look like the game so I had to add some texture details and ta-da! Siffrin face down! 

But this also comes from years of practice in knowing what I want and knowing how to draw it, some of my art pieces were, “I think it would be cool if I drew a character looking down at me in front of a skyscraper” but um,, I didnt know how to draw that ;-; so I had to just let my hands kind of try and finish the piece even if I didnt like it. At that point, I realized I needed to practice the character and my style more until I COULD draw what I wanted. Which led into my drawing, a LOT of things I couldn’t and didnt like. 

As for symbolism in art, and how I got ideas for it, a lot of it comes down to knowing the character and how you want to translate your thoughts of the character into art. One of the ways I started doing this was adding flowers to the characters art, or learning what flower I considered “theirs” that way I could add hints to  it in the drawings. Some of it also came from animals, others came from art genres and their historical significance, and some come down to theories (such as colour theory in art). 

Finally, it really does come down to practice. As much as I hate to say it, a lot of the art pieces I do and share tend to lean towards “practice” or concept doodles so that I can better understand HOW I want to add it to a bigger piece. Most of my Siffrin and Loop drawings tend more to that as I need to better understand how their shapes and lines communicate to an art piece (Loop being a fucking star gets me so much) before i can add symbolism and make a bigger art piece. Even then, sometimes it doesnt work and the bigger art piece needs to be put to a back burner before i can communicate my thoughts on the characters as I wish to. 

(Here’s also a neat little trick I do, write out what you want to draw and then draw thumbnails so you can figure out the composition of the piece you want. It helps you know where something goes and how you want it to appear without keeping it in our brain for a long period of time. Some of the things I share are concept doodles but I’ve shared pictures of me doing this before! It can be annoying but trust me, it helps when you can’t figure out the draft at all.) 

Also, heres some of my REAL old art for reference when I say I’ve practiced a lot and didn’t always know how to do big art pieces ;;;;

Hope that helped answer some of my thought process on ideas and how that translates to art? I could go into more detail if you need me to discuss something further

[ethernetmeep]

as to not taint the humor of the millipede post, i say this separately and as its own sort of weird entry thing; today was not all that nice. if you somehow wish to read emotional ramblings then feel free below i suppose. this will all probably be very embarrassing & stupid & gone at a certain point

at first, it seemed to be fine; by all accounts, i felt normal. i was happy, content, neutral, what have you. near the end of first period, i felt a sudden and all encompassing sort of emotional pain which is hard to explain besides a knife in ones gut. i try to shrug it off, go back to normal; i listen to instructions of my teacher before i ask to sit outside. i proceed to bawl my eyes out silently.

and you may ask, WHY? and i ask the exact same thing! i have no clue why i suddenly break down like this, but i do, and its heavy and uncomfortable. i sob out of both guilt and intense emotions unable to be placed anywhere definitively. i sob because i don’t know what else to do, as trying to hold my emotions in has seemingly only made me sick thus far in the day.

i continue to cry for an uncomfortable amount of time i won’t disclose. a teacher who i enjoy greatly sits beside me in the hall; without even having to say the words aloud, i answer him. i talk quietly of things i remember and talk of how upset i feel; not mad upset, but sad upset. he seems confused on what too much of something would be. ive been wondering this for months. he asks if it was possibly seen as something more intimate. i say this could be likely and i feel far worse; i feel awful, actually. he runs off because hes a busy man. i think about our conversation and i feel overwhelmingly distressed. i feel sick. i feel as if ive ruined everything by accidentally implying something different then what i may mean. i dont enjoy the vague way certain events occur. i hate being vague, i hate not being able to read between the lines of things; vagueness scares me to a point of distress and acute worry, which is probably hypocritical.

i have to resort to one of the stupidest things ive imagined in a long time in order to not feel the overwhelming & all encompassing feeling of wanting to [REDACTED]; imagining myself as stanley from the stanley parable and being lectured about how this action would quote make the timeline collapse in on itself or quote ruin the game by the narrator. i can imagine his voice clearly in my mind saying STANLEY, YOU CAN’T SELF-IMMOLATE STANLEY, THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR! something stupid like that. its odd that it helped.

i was fine, although i then proceeded to not be fine. got asked if i was okay. answered truthfully and said no. an acquaintance prompted me to talk about it with her, then simply.. left. had to find the girl she enjoys being with. she said she would find me later and talk about it; i really didn’t want to talk about it. i moved to put on my headphones then realized it was stupid & was already on the verge of tears again at simply the discussion from before & feeling like a circus animal being heavily scrutinized and laughed at under intense gaze. i get to class but i am overwhelmingly unable to do anything but cry.

i get to go to the library, but at the detriment to my friends. i text one and tell her i won’t be at lunch as im dealing with emotional distress and don’t want to quote, be a debbie downer. i am saddened at my actions; i wish i would’ve just went and talked with them, but i also don’t wish that i did because i hate distressing those i care about. i didn’t want to put more on my friends plates. i’d deal with it myself

of course, nothing is ever sound & calm for long; the area which i feel comfortable crying in is overtaken and i move uncomfortably. i am asked if im okay. i lie blatantly to a girl ive known as an acquaintance for years. i feel bad for lying; i don’t want her to worry about me. it wasn’t important, anyway. eventually i regain my composure and get back to class. it ends and i move on; as per usual, my mood fluctuates and i soon find myself worried sick and leaving her classroom.

i stay after although i know the chess club is cancelled for this week. i don’t like the change. its not as if im mad at the change, i just so desperately wanted to believe the days i dealt with before actually still accumulated to something i enjoyed. now the one thing i enjoy is off to not occur for next week, either; giving me very little to look forward to, if anything

i sit in the airlock. i write in my notebook a list of things someone would do before self-immolation. hypothetically, of course. maybe four or five things on it are actually things one would care about. one is to play a DLC, another is to finish a novel; one is to stay in order to see the cicadas arrive & to visit the cemetery in the spring like someone (fine, me!) mentioned weeks back that i wanted to do. its uncomfortable how the novel i enjoyed dearly was not one of the important things on the list.

it takes quite a lot to kill me, i think. kind of like a tick.

i’ll be fine; i always am. i think ive gotten better. im slowly feeling more and more sane again, although the stress puke is still prevalent. as ive lived on, its gone down to a point where i just gag; don’t puke. i enjoy documenting when i do feel things like this, strangely enough. having an archive of my life makes me feel sane. its also interesting to look back on.

thanks if you read this somehow, even after the warning of how stupid it would be. i appreciate you, hypothetical reader. i enjoy your hypothetical quiet company

[bonesandthebees]

Okay longer review for glass ch18 time :DD man what an amazing chapter. Got duped waking up thinking im gonna get crimeboys, and then i got both crimeboys AND sandduo

Im gonna skim reread it as i review

hES USING WILBUR?!?#$ HELP BROO ITS SO SMOOTH AT THIS POINT

There was like one chapter where i caught it and i felt so proud of myself, but after that i just get so invested that i dont even notice until someone points it out lmaooo

I think I did notice when it switched to Pythia, at least subconsciously bc I paused at it and scrolled up a bit to see if it'd always been Pythia but ig I didnt scroll up enough lmaoooo

Ohkygod he switches to Pythia the minute Phil enters the room ohkgyfo u cant be playing around with the narrative like this bee, u are way too smart wtf... I'm still in awe with how flawlessly you play around with the change of name. It's always intentional, and yet it feels so natural when you read it. It doesn't feel like a conscious decision from Wilbur at all, ughh it's so good!!!!

Goddddd I love codependent crimeboys so much bro ohmgydo and u always write it Perfectly ty amen

I think ive said this before but ur just so good at characterization man like helloooo

Each fic!crimeboys are so unique to each other, but you could remove their names and I'd still know they were crimeboys. They still feel like them and ahhh i love them so much

Also bro i totally called Phil waiting for them 😭 it made me so tense LMAOOO

Wilbur fr was like "We're quiet we r chilling!!" Like no sir. No u are not

Its the fact that Phil knew the answer to all his questions, he knew Tommy left him alone aaaaaaaaaaa

I cant do this man theyre all so wheofidbekdhdlkflfek

The fact that neither of them told Phil about the sketchy guy who saw Wilbur is making me so scared tho like noooo guyssss ur already in trouble, just be safe about it and tell the truth noooooo 😭😭😭

Phil is such a dad in this scene ohmygod

Also im laughing, their punishment is they cant talk to each other 😭😭

“Then just close your eyes,” Phil said, almost in the exact same way Tommy had.

Like father, like son [bawls]

Although the Pythia was desperate to know why Phil had paused for so long after seeing his face, he simply nodded, and tried not to flinch when Phil’s free hand grabbed his chin to hold his head still.

Not my dumbass's first thought being "HES HIS SECRET LONG LOST SON" LMFAO FHFJFK

Then i was like "okay no its definitely bc of his age"

Brooo i just want the moment where they see each other without him closing his eyes rahhhhhhhhhssss

Also

I realize i said i was gonna skim reread this chap, but nope im just rereading it properly lmfao 😭😭😭 slow and steady pfff

Its so goood

Now I'll have 2 chapters from glass on speeddial for sure

God every moment of sandduo in this fic is just a parallel of their relationships with their gods im soooo 😭😭😭

When i first started this fic i was so certain that the majority of all Clara's things were just misinterpretations from her followers that got passed down century to century but now atp idek. Im skipping ahead and I'll probs talk more about it at the end of the chapter but like Kristin literally touched Wilbur- Clara's never gotten that close to him. Though maybe it's bc she's not as strongly connected? On both ends... Im rambling here as I theorize so I might not phrase this correctly but, like. My first thought was Phil said blood helped her connect better to the living world, so maybe that's why she can be physically here and not Clara, but I also thought about how maybe it does affect the relationship whether it's mutual or not, right? Cause Phil chose to be with her, there's trust on both ends. Wilbur got thrown into it, and maybe that affects the magic of the connection or smth. Or Clara's a bitch lmaoooo. I always appreciate seeing the god of life being the antagonist. I feel like it's not gonna be black and white though, things are not often with you hahahaha.

God that was a large paragraph whoops. I am certain though, that at least a large portion of the traditions they have (cough not being able to see the face cough) (just being treated as not a person lol), are things both misinterpreted or just plain ol made up to be able to better control the Pythia. Because, who wouldn't want to be able to fully control someone who can see the future? Idk how they'll ever find that out for sure but damn yeah, it's sad. Look at what you've done Bee, you've traumatized a perfectly good boy

Lmaoooo

Is there a limit to how long these things can get?? Spruce how do u separate them into diff parts, do u go by vibes or is there a limit LMFAOOO

Anyways

God. The way Phil knows what Wilburs thinking 😭😭😭 im gonna cryyyy theyre sooo ahdjfkfld

The way you describe all the tiny details, god, your writing feels so real. It feels like it breathes. I feel so immersed in it. I can not only see everything happening around me, I can feel it, as if I were there. I dunno, I just really appreciate all the tiny details you mention, and how you take care to remind us that his eyes are closed by describing the sounds around him, and how you mention him feeling odd when he winces bc of his face being numbed, like ik theyre not a big deal, but those details mean so much to me. They make everything feel so much more alive.

And the way you describe people's thoughts, they're so realistic rahhhhhhss. Your characters always feel truly human

I love your writing so much aaahhh

The cheer i let out when i saw the mate at their 2nd meeting when i read this chap for the first time LMFAOOO

It was at that moment vey knew they were getting a truck load of sandduo--

I had also already forgotten that Phil had told Wilbur he was gonna show him smth lmfaooo

I am starting to get tired fr (it's been almost an hour Oops) so i think i will pull a spruce and split this into two parts and continue after some breakfast or smth LMAOO (pst gang ftw 👆)

Dudududus away into the sunset

I was definitely debating whether or not to start the chapter with him using wilbur, but it just felt right so I went with it and I'm very happy with the tone it gave because it provided such a good tone shift when phil showed up and wilbur switched back to using 'the pythia'. it's such a fun narrative tool to use, though it's definitely a bit exhausting to remember every time i refer to wilbur in narration i'm making a choice with how i refer to him. fun, but a lot to keep in my head

ty I'm so glad my crimeboys feel that distinctive <3

lmao phil was so pissed when they got back. he figured a lot out on his own but wanted to hear it from tommy himself. they really should've told phil about the guy wilbur bumped into tho rip :/

yeah no phil is not wilbur's long lost father or anything. I only think those kinds of twists work in very specific stories, otherwise it just feels like a cheap way to be like "look now these two have a biological reason to care about each other!" and really gives off the vibes of found family being less important than blood family

the thing is regarding wilbur's relationship to clara is that when contrasted with phil's relationship to kristin, i want it to be obvious that it's a two-way relationship. you have to put in what you wanna get out.

LMAO spruce pls share with the class how you split up your asks

ldksjfkl aaa that's so sweet. I love including tiny details like those because I try to make my stories as easy to visualize as possible. I know that when I read something, I want to be able to see the scene perfectly in my head, so I try to emphasize the facial expressions and body language and the setting they're in and all that to really immerse the reader in it

tysm i'm so glad you enjoyed!

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

i'm just wondering how real p-shifting is. i really want to be able to do it, but i don't know if it's something that's real, feasible and worth my time working towards, or if it's not.

i guess something that would help is some sort of proof that it's been done before. if it genuinely has, i absolutely want to get going on my own journey.

and i'm not saying it's impossible, but i just want to learn how possible it is and if current methods lead to genuine results. thanks!

OH OKAY, let me help you a bit fellow anon.

Honestly im not sure how exactly to affirm if it's real or not. I've had evidence such as growing fur strands, half shifting in my sleep, and even learning recently that when I was very little I had p-shifted before. That's just me, I've been a shifter for a long time and eventually came to this through WAY TOO MUCH exploring and asking myself hard questions.

Usually though, the best thing I can tell any curious individual is to just... go through the very first step of being a shifter. Its incredibly helpful, and will answer the majority of present questions at the beginning stage. If you want more details on this I will gladly do a follow-up, but currently I still have to collect and get my facts straight about this first step. More developed guides (such as phenexus weyr and even blaze's guide to shifting) will be much more helpful then what i have to say. Perhaps I'll have a guide to give one day too after all of this 💀

I can tell you though to just go for it. Not start p-shifting i mean, you wont be able to do so for a long time if you eventually figure out you are a p-shifter. Its better to know by exploring instead of just never trying because you are afraid of it not being real.

P-shifting is only a tiny part of being a shifter (as I've said over and over again lol) but similar to theirans our identities live on within us our whole lives. It's just keeping a healthy balance of understanding where you are at and that, usually, you might not be a p-shifter at all and that's OKAY.

Sorry I like talking. Perhaps that could help you a bit if you decide to begin your journey.

REGARDLESS.

i would honestly also love good evidence (images, videos, etc.) of p-shifting actually happening because of the methods that exist. (Disclaimer methods aren't "rituals" that are 100% guaranteed to give you results, they are only building blocks to help you develop your own style when you decide to voluntarily shift)

Ive had to realize that 1.) There is a whole community around it, from all walks of life and information, which gathered to give us the information we have today because they all experienced similar things too. 2.) time and time again there have been stories, from history all the way to now, where people have shifted into creatures and animals constantly. 3.) In truth you find your own evidence eventually, within yourself weirdly enough.

I can't speak for everyone (hell naw) but for me I eventually came to a point where i no longer needed to see from others that p-shifting was real, I knew it was real through my own evidence and experiences. Shifting involves a lot about connecting the dots tbh, sometimes it can take a hot minute to make the right dots connect.

If there is physical evidence out there, nowadays it's so incredibly targeted and never given a chance to believe. Like, honestly, tech is so good nowadays there is no way actual physical evidence could exist within the community anymore.

What im basically trying to say is that although physical evidence can help, at the end of the day you have to find it within yourself to see as true. Nobody can really convince you to believe otherwise 🤷

Thank you for sending the anon, and if you read this and want any more help or expansion on anything, please let me know and I'll be happy to expand. I'll probably stick around for a little longer to answer anything else anyone may want to ask.

[cherrrydragon]

hiya pooks, i wanted to get to know you more so i have a couple fun questions for you that include my personal answers! (i’m an oversharer)

1) fav media of spider-man?

i looooooove ultimate spider-man. i think it’s so over hated because the kids who watched spectacular grew up and were upset the next spider-man show was a kids show and not an adult show made for them. the fact that there just so much room for cameos from all other marvel media really helped me build a love for marvel as a whole. i wouldn’t know half as much marvel lore or characters without it since i never read the comics. (too poor to continuously buy growing up + can’t read comic panels over screen cause bleh. i think it was our first time meeting miles on screen too, which was awesome!)

it showed me who spider-man was at his core, a good person. and that’s what stood out to me. it also showed me that spider-man was super funny and always had a ‘quip’ lol. bonus points for ps4 spidey for being the first game i played of him and into the spider-verse for literally changing animation for the whole world. straight up best movie ever made.

2) fav media of dc?

gotta be the 2022 batman for me. i was so happy they finally got him right on the big screen! it took so long for people to realize that batman is only fear to his enemies, but hope to the people. they also count have picked a better catwoman! and the fact that the riddler is just some guy? mwah, perfection, amazing, incredible!

side rant; everytime i see someone mention how they thiugtt he robert patterson didn’t play a good bruce i wanna scream. how are we lacking so much media literacy nowadays that we can no longer recognize this is before he gets his whole playboy persona. he doenst even have financial stability! he’s literally just learning who he is. there’s deadass a whole scene dedicated to him trying to go into the club as batman and getting turned away vs being welcomed in as bruce and realizing bruce wayne has actual value to fighting crime.

3) fav non live action character?

sam anderson’s nova is so fun! he’s such a sweetiepie. i know earlier i said i don’t read the comics, but i do listen to them. i really wish they would put him in as teen trying his best with the guardians of the galaxy <3

klarion the witch boy is so silly (especially in young justice. his va is perfect for him.) he literally just terrorizes people for funsies. gotta love the lord of chaos and his cat.

hi hi! i just wanna preface this by saying a lot of media im a fan of i havent actually watch/read/played just because i cant truly sit down and consume content like i used to when i was younger. literally yesterday i watched the second deadpool movie after like, maybe 2 years since watching the first one (and i probably wouldnt have watched it if the new dp and wolverine movie didnt come out LOL) so i can't really answer these as efficiently as id like but ill try my best

fav media of spider-man?

before it would've been mcu spiderman simply because i havent watched the raimi or amazing spiderman ones, but now without a doubt i can say the spiderverse movies are my fav ones! all movies are pieces of art, but the spiderverse movies are truly by and for art kids. the animation and art is beautiful and i think the way it so artistically connects all things spider-man is really cool.

2. fav media of dc?

so... the last time i watched any dc media was when i was way younger LOL. i distinctly remember watching dc super hero girls, justice league unlimited, the flash (tv) and i think arrow (tv)? but like i said, i was young and don't remember much. ive seen from numerous people that the dc timeline is kind of a mess and that + the fact that there's so much content is what's keeping me from consuming it now. on the topic of batman 2022 there's literally nothing stopping me from watching it but i havent LOL i just cant sit down and watch it. i think the brainrot got to me rip.

i think what stops me from consuming content is the fact that i become a fan of it without actually participating. i read so much fanfic that i learn the plot of things through there, and because i already know what happens i dont desire to spend time and take it in. i might be cooked ngl. but anyway, no official favorite dc media from me

3. fav non live action character?

dude theres like way to many to name but one that comes to mind immediately is black cat (i dont think she's been in any live action from marvel yet?) something about those cat burglars man... LOL. i know this doesn't really count but i really like her portrayal in "Dark Matter" by mysterycyclone on ao3 (and amazing peter parker in gotham fic, highly recommend) i truly love the idea of the thief becoming friends with their crimestopper, because like catwoman, they aren't really hurting anybody (at least, from what ive seen)

as for dc... like i said i have not consumed enough media to pick LOL my bad 💔

[penumbrialhexandroga]

I started drawing "when i could first hold a crayon", my mother told me.

Growing up, i was always a quick learner. I learned to read before i was in school, i could always pick things up really easily; my mom would show me a shape and label it and i would get it immediately. I cant remember ever not being able to read.

One of my earliest memories is of being in school, maybe kindergarted on first grade? And they were having us all write down the letters they spoke for a quiz. A classmate leaned over to me and asked me if we were supposed to write the letter or spell the letter? I said "i think spell", thats what i had been doing lol. Later on they told us all that we were supposed to write the letter, not spell it out lol.

"Ay", "Bee", etc. I wish i could go back and read how i spelt it all, 8m interested how i wouldve spelt out "C".

But back to drawing. I cant remember ever not doing it. I was always the "best" artist in my class growing up. I think ive spent far more of my life drawing than socializing. But as ive gotten older i stopped being the best artist for my age. Im at a point now where although im confident in being able to replicate things or my technical skills in being able to make a portrait is pretty good. I always feel like i really struggle creatively.

I remember when i was in maybe 4th grade? And one of my friends/classmates had wanted me to teach her how to deaw a wolf. I was trying to show her how you were supposed to start with simple shapes , just squares and circles, to start the construction of the body, and then you draw the actual more complex form over that and then erase the simple sketch. Obviously not in those words but i realized that she wasnt understanding it, i had shown her what to do but i just remember being in this moment and it was one of those things that you know youll always remember. I can remember being in that room, in the school library at the circular table that must have been on the floor. My back was to the windows and it was an overcast but bright day. I think i must have been wearing a red, short sleeved shirt. My classmate had very light blonde shoulder length hair that flipped out on the ends. She was wearing a pink shirt. I remember she was getting stuck on how you make the more complex form over the guidelines and then erase the guidelines, i tried to show her by having her go along with me step by step but it just felt like there was a block. Like when youre taking a test and you know you dont know the answer vs. When you think you might know the answer and you can logic your way through or come back to it later.

Anyways i cant comprehend how people are so friggin amazing at composing things. I never feel like im a skilled artist until i go back and look through my art or my sketchbook. I love doing gesture drawings and very quick things but i really struggle with making complete compositions. Its something i know i just need to practice to improve at but i can never stick to a single thing for so long! When i do even 10 minute figure drawings it feels like im taking so so long!

Though, thinking i can focus for long enough if i do live figure drawing sessions in a class setting. Its always been easier for me to focus or get things done if im in a classroom setting. I miss school and learning like that so much! I really want to start taking art classes when i can. Or go back to community college.

[omnium-gatherums]

Hey answer this at your own leisure- I have DID and I really relate to a lot of your posts? I think ive even sent you an ask before but i forget so i apologize if ive said the same thing.

Ive known Ive had DID for ages- and in the beginning i thought i had a ton of alters, and now years later 5 months have passed and i dont know who i am at all. Alter advice isnt helpful at all cause it feels like I have no differences. So basically I feel like nobody, Except When Im writing and roleplaying? I have tons of ultra developed characters that I "project" onto and I've been theorizing that my characters Ive created are actually vessels for alters? Or actually my alters? I think I even explained it once as "my characters are all self inserts for my different selves"… Ive never heard of this ever happening to another person and im very unsure. Of course I dont expect you to like diagnose me or anything but i was just wondering if you…had any input? Thank you for taking the time to read this btw I know it was long.

Hii, I went to sleep most of the day, so I'm just seeing this now lol and I love this because that's basically my experience, albeit it with some differences.

Once I was diagnosed and throughout my questioning, I figured that most of the "characters" I made were just alters.

I actually still struggle to comprehend creating characters that isn't just "you" (an alter in some way).

The Warrior cat books were a special interest of mine, and I "created a character" named Rainwhisper, but it wasn't really a character, it was just Me, as a cat in the series.

I liked Utau and Vocaloid, and I created my own Utau called Roxy Mizu, bit it was really just Me as an Utau.

Art and writing is a big way for alters to express themselves, it makes sense. Especially if you grew up in an environment where many of the other ways of self-expression weren't allowed. For example, I was never allowed to look or dress the way I wanted, and most self-expression was punished, made fun of, Not Allowed. So it makes perfect sense to turn to other means of self-expression, when you have no other way to express yourself as a person, and as individual alters (who may not realize they exist, but they are still expressing themselves).

For me as well, my online accounts have also been a huge way of expressing myself (/individual alters to express themselves). Certain icons associated with certain usernames. I get uncomfortable if my Discord icon is something that I don't really vibe or resonate with/doesn't really feel Right. I always grew up changing my icons and usernames a lot, sometimes coming up with a ""fake name"" to use for myself online "for privacy." In reality, I do think it was just alters wanting their own names ad wanting to express themselves, we just didn't know it/realize it/weren't aware we existed as our separate selves at all.

I've known other systems like this, but it never quite feels the same. But lots of systems have talked about how their "characters" turned out to be alters.

Similarly, video games can be a huge way to express yourselves as individual alters (again, without necessarily realizing it. It's not like I ever knew "I am my own separate Entity and this is me now lol" it's never like that for me). Especially if the game has a lot of customization options for your player character, you might find yourself constantly changing how your character looks to fit your Vibe/mood/etc. in the moment. This is my experience, and I 100% think it pertains to different alters expressing themselves.

I'm all about the small details of alter differences when it comes to figuring out alters. I think my autism is kind of an interesting thing in that regards, and because my DID experience is so.. Subtle? It makes sense why my autism combines with that to be able to notice incredibly small details like that, that I find that many other systems just. Overlook completely and/or don't even realize are things at all. Like, I just notice that many systems don't even realize or know that you can be switching without even knowing it, but without individual alters even knowing they exist at all too. It just feels like/seems like most other systems online just go "I know this is an alter because (distinct overt thing)" but don't realize it goes deeper than that sometimes for a lot of systems actually.

I've definitely had experiences where I felt so distinctly different that it was at least easier to assume I was some kind of alter, but it's still not quite like that, and is not my norm (and usually only happens while high).

For many people with DID, it's really, really subtle and alter switches are happening without the person and without the individual alters even knowing/realizing it. I actually read a research paper recently that really put a lot of my thoughts about this into words, Diagnosis Of Covert And Subtle Forms Of Multiple Personality Disorder Through Dissociative Signs if you want to read it! I've been working on a bigger post that goes over it, and goes over my own additional thoughts and feelings about how to figure out if you have DID through incredibblyyy subtle things like what's described in the paper.

It is from 1988, so some info is outdated, but it was still so, so nice to finally read a paper that really talked about these things. I wonder if I can find similar papers from more recent years ("recent" here doesn't necessarily mean like 2020-present, I consider things from 2010, and/or 2015 onward much more recent than, like... 1988 for example LMASNDKS)