#ive read a lot in my many years here lol so im sure i have faves i forgot to list
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Transformers Fanfic Recommendations?
I’m feeling really inspired to write and want to do writing field research / enjoy the world of TF at the same time! Does anybody have any recs for fics that fit one or more of these categories?
G1 / IDW / TF One / Original continuity preferred or adjacent
War stories! Politics! Greater scope action! Messy interpersonal drama that makes it all much worse!
Fics that really go off with the concept of Cybertronians as aliens and explores their history, biology, culture, anatomy, gestalt bonds, in detail etc.
Any non-sticky JazzProwl (Currently reading Mistakes on Mistakes Until by Jabberish and I've never been more enamored with a writer's skill tbh )
Extreme canon compliance or something so full to the brim of established Transformers knowledge / references / lore that it would fit seamlessly into canon.
Bonus if the fic was written before 2012!
Some of my personal all time favorites for reference!
Best First by SkyShadow
Zero Point + Bullets by James Roberts
Mistakes on Mistakes Until by Jabberish
bear no witness longer of his name by oriflamme
Mirror Mirror by Albawrites
#transformers#maccadam#transformers fanfiction#jazzprowl#transformers g1#transformers idw#transformers one#ive read a lot in my many years here lol so im sure i have faves i forgot to list#im having so much fun i forgot what a fun world transformers is to deep dive into i love u transformers specific words i love u EM fields
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We Watch the Clouds & Stars: an OriginsSMP TNTduo Comic ☁️💫 | Anecdote: Awake or Alive [part 1/?]
content warning: discussion of death and afterlife
read left to right
NEXT
hello !!!!!!!!! im back on the grid again and with a bang, here to deliver a comic ive been working on since september ! its gonna be pretty messy, inconsistent, and just purely me having fun . therell be a lot of things ive thought through thoroughly, and therell be some things i forgot to even existed ! all in all this is a comic about a character whos been gone for a year and one that doesnt even exist, so its all built from me being silly
there will be sensitive topics discussed or depicted ! those will have a warning placed beforehand for each update, even though many of these things are meant to be up to interpretation or implied . some anecdotes ive written have been quite heavy though, so if i end up finishing them, listen to the content warnings
this will be a non-linear story, so instead of chapters i have named them anecdotes . they will be moreso bits and pieces of my o!quackity and o!wilbur's lives, specifically of them together, so some parts will be before or after others . some parts will reference each other, or foreshadow, but u likely wont need to read the anecdotes in any specific order
^ and so, because of this, the dynamics of wwtc&s!tntduo will change and will be inconsistent, just as what happens with real people if u look into random pockets of their life . some anecdotes theyll be more comfortable with each other, some theyll be more spiteful, some theyll be more awkward, etc. especially since oquackity has no character and owilbur is underdeveloped
this comic is a lot about change but also keeping familiarity in said change, which is totally not just an excuse for my inconsistent ass nope nuh-nuh. this time its actually relevant to the characters !!!!
and YEAH . i am doing all this just bc cc!quackity mentioned in the 2021 wine stream that he was in the originssmp discord and wanted to actually play but never did . im still mad abt it so ive decided to just make shit up now 👍
by the way !!!!!!!!! the big wings wilbur has on the cover r actually not canon anymore . Lol . i drew that before i had a more concrete idea of the comic and its concepts, but i really didnt feel like editing it (the tail is also missing), so i kept it cause idrc FDKDFKJ
i may draw him with wings again sometime just bc i really like it, but for the sake of story - know that theyre not canon, and that his cloak compensates for his lack of wings
there is likely more for me to explain, but rn im all over the place so i dont really remember what ! the next part will probs be up tomorrow or so, im not sure . really hope u guys enjoy
#btw i formally apologize to any readers whove put work into studying on how to draw wings#the fun part for me with wings is never knowing whats correct#so like#Lol#quackitys wings will always look goofy#maybe someday theyll be consistent and correct !#but that is not in character#tntduo#we watch the clouds and stars#osmp#origins smp#quackity#wilbur soot#o!quackity#o!wilbur#phantombur#o!tntduo#quackity fanart#wilbur soot fanart#osmp fanart#art#comic#tumblrimp
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOUBLE VISION 💜🎉 [30/10] !!!!!!!!
...And Happy Early Halloween to anyone who is reading this! Trick-or-Treat? 👻🧟♂️ ... I think is pretty ironic that he was born a day before Halloween since he is a nightmare of a dude to deal with... lol... I'll be sharing some things that ive done and I haven't shared! I hope you like it! Expect something BIG in a few days... Maybe �� This is not all...!
[🔪] DOUBLE VISION DECORATED TOPLOADER:
Nepeta Leijon side made for dearest friend and the one who made this drawing @silence-caravan ʕっ˘ڡ˘ςʔ💋💜
[🔪] SOME CARDHOLDERS:
I HAVE DONE SOME THINGS BEHIND THE SCENES, I SWEAR THIS ISN'T ALL BUT PLEASE BEAR WITH ME......
This is the second occasion im doing something for his birthday... It feels weird how a year already has passed since i first played BSH, I love this game so much! Not sure how or why im so obsessed over Double, at first i fucking hated his guts and wanted to destroy but now.... I still fucking hate his guts and want to destroy him but in a romantic and poetic way, if you know what I mean. 👅 Honestly, it's fun to do this type of stuff. Also I learned a lot and had since made my own merch of him lololololol
I hope you liked it! It's not much but i won't stop posting here, im a bit busy with real life stuff! And I don't have much time to look at many of my socials like before, i am indeed touching grass but never stopped swooning or thinking about Double Vision like, you guys don't know it but I literally carry him with me everyday, everywhere..... LMAO metaphorically and LITERALLY.
Thank you so much for making this for me. <3
click this button down here for a surprise or just general stupidity ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ
Double Vision after im done with him 😴👅
#binary star hero#bsh#binary star hero double vision#bsh double vision#carholder#toploader#EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK#i love him#Ermmmmmmm#i need to torture him#👅👅👅👅👅👅#double vision#he is so shitty im aware but so i am#we belong in the same trashcan#sighhhsssss i want him#happy birthday to this absolute mad freaky disgusting terrifying dude
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im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL
#the series i hate MOST is one piece#those who know me in my life#know this truth about me#i loathe that thing!!!!!!#i am a hater and i dont wish to be changed#oda does good color spreads tho
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SO. i have listened to @gooboogy 's wonderful green album. and i wrote down my thoughts on each song. and now i am putting them here!!
"thoughts" being actually somewhat coherent comments that devolve into What Would This Be In A Video Game because this is me we're working with after all
and you reading this. yes you. go listen to it
verdant: oooough blorpy,,,, very cool i like. good beat it's quite foot tappable. also the name itself might be a new vocal stim. verdant. vvvverrrrrdant.
halls: much noises!! the instrumence in this scratch my brain in a good way. feels a bit like im 7 years old watchinf my brother play 2d mario stages and reimagining the music
agua: oooohh arpeggio action and a SICK beat. once again the Noises are lovely. big fan of all 3 so far but this one in particular methinks. however i have many more songs to go (!!)
doot doot: very fun i also like this one a lot :3 and coming to you from my one-track autistic mind: this album would be a fantastic game soundtrack
side note i know im writing less for some of these but thats bc im experiencing them in shapes and colors more than expressable words. trust me they're stirring the brain stew
going for a walk: i know the title is about a walk but im envisioning this as the soundtrack to a sort of road trip montage animation thing. specifically my road trip with family from san francisco to la. oh yes this ending is us finally getting to the hotel and me flopping onto the bed
forward: im liking the melody here a lot <33 this album is making me want to boot up lmms again and try my hand at original music,,, ive only ever attempted remixes (i tried to do aquarium park from sonic colors a few years ago and gave up but now i kinda wanna go back to it,,, i wonder if i was cooking) ok yes back to the actual song whoops this one is soo cool one of my faves so far
snag: i like these opening chords!! i dont know what you actually call them but the like. buildup parts?? you know?? those bits??? big fan OOH and a uh. build down (lol) bit too! also liking the sparkly chimey instrumence
blazen: OHHH YESSS this would be the theme for my favorite antagonist in the hypothetical game that i am apparently going to be referencing multiple times (dimentio and mr L came to mind immediately) absolutely jamming
beep boop: fuck yeah man it sure does OH SPOOKY NOTES OH OH COOL BEAT ASWELL i am in for a fun time this is. also the theme of my favorite antagonist. but the battle theme i think. oh hell yeah the orchestra hits. yes yes definitely battle theme. sorry for putting all these in a vgm context shfjdkfkssghf i just listen to a lot of it so thats how my brain parses instrumentals
hunt: strimgs :3 wohhh this is so cool. buzzy in a good way. golden brown triangles and other spiky shapes. that's kinda meaningless to anyone but me but. oh nice more Noises always love the Noises
overwhelm: theme for when i have a project due the next day and am swamped with other homework shdjdksfjdh
VERDANT!: once more with gusto!! loving the faster tempo. constellationy crystally instrument is particularly pleasing. oooughh so gooddddd
creepin': spacey!! im watching a crew set out in their little shuttle, oblivious to the horrors awaiting them on their station
envy: this is a boss fight that's emotionally heavy for the protagonists. perhaps fighting a former friend or mentor or team member
whomp whomp: quite a tricksy track!! some sort of haunted place,,,, maybe the place where the previous battle takes place. maybe it's actually a ghost (especially if the protagonist had some role in their death and feels crushing guilt) (bonus points if the ghost openly expresses resentment for the protag)
gromulous: the word ever. final boss' lair for sureee. yeah this song sure is gromulous. idk how else to describe it you hit the nail on the head
largemouth: oooh a bit silly but also cool guy. im thinking some sort of underground secret society/lab thing they have to infiltrate that's hiding a Sinister Secret (the big plot twist of the game) doesn't even have to physically be underground it could be a moon base situation. maybe i should just make this whole thing into a scifi space rpg
a way out: i can see this as the final boss music and as you get further in the fight it ramps up. i know i already assigned songs to the main antagonist but shhhhh. (or i can always pull a super paper mario in terms of antagonists)
under over: oh!! i love this one!! hometown theme. chill and familiar but still upbeat rather than sleepy. and it has a very strong nostalgia factor,,,,, in love with this song it might be my favorite. but there are still 3 more so!
float: this beginning is very cool im loving the vibe. dire dire docks but make it just after sunset and watch the ocean come alive with bioluminescent lights and fish raves. i guess it isnt a space game anymore. or maybe dream sequence beach episode?? WOAHHH OCEAN MAGICANT i might be cooking with this one Hold On. yesyesyes ok some sort of trip/dream where theyre shrunk down marinauts (whatever ocean prefix) as opposed to astronauts and exploring a cool coral reef/ocean floor area and talking to the sea life and woahhhhhh this would look gorgeous in pixel art. tbh this one could be in its own game considering how vivid the imagery is
outside: post-final-boss world returning to normal/person being rescued or uncorrupted/whatever magical thing happening. very fond of the bird chirps too <33 OH MUSIC BOX SOUNDS i also adore this one. i think the ending of this game is kinda bittersweet. we saved the world/person/whatever but At A Cost. this is sooooo pretty. would also transition well into credits
Green: and roll credits!! this would be the kind of credits theme i sway in my seat and contemplate the game to. the entire album is fantastic and these last few especially have been so lovely
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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hi gwen!
tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!
quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want
happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!
anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!
ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:
kim suhwan vs. the world
all my love
the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb
and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)
don’t blame me
pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.
ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.
next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.
next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)
okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.
lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.
so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)
now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.
anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!
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I'm in the car and I'm bored en
SO HERES A LIST OF MY MEDICAL ISSUES IVE HAD THROUGHOUT LIFE 😃
Vaugly related to my fanfic
Tetrology of Fallot (tof): congenital (born with it) heart defect that is basically 4 defects in 1 (I do not have the energy to look up or type all those scientific words rn so sorry)
I've had 3 open heart surgeries to fix it o e at 8 days 10 months and 5 years
Died 6 times on the second one 😃
Ngl life isn't too different with it
If you don't count the yearly doctor visits and can't play contact sports
I mean there's more to it that that obviously but it's mainly small things like getting out of breath quicker and I bruise easy because of having to take baby asprin
BUT the doctors ORIGINALLY said I was never gonna be able to walk or talk or do anything for myself
God vetoed that decision 😌
NOW I NEVER SHUT UP 😁
Got a nifty battle scar down my chest as a souvenir ☺️
And I used to be called smurf baby cause I turned blue alot
I make jokes about it now (hush I'm allowed to )
Ngl pretty sure I'm short cause failure to thrive as a baby cause of that 😭
Don't think there's any scientific backing on that tho for tof patients
Imperferated anus + colostomy bag: basically means I was born without a butthole
Not even joking on that i wasnt
But had to have three gastrointestinal surgeries from that
Don't know the ages or many details but I'm pretty sure I was two for the last one
And I had to have a colostomy bag
Thankfully don't remember it
Buy my waste went into a bag that had to be changed out
Ik it got infected so the scar is bugger than it should be
Seizures: if you've read my fanfic that's explained in detail for how it feels
But that was from aged 5-10
We never found the specific reasons for it
But we do hypothesize it has something tk do with possible scar tissue on my brain
Either from a heart attack/stroke/lack of oxygen from my second heart surgery is what we think it could be from
During a seizure my heart would start beating weird (not good description ik but idk how to describe it really) and my vision would start to tunnel out my tongue would tingle and then I'd black out
During a seizure I couldn't hear anything or see anything but my head would completely start to tingle
From my parents I was told during them I would stiffen up and lock my joints and almost seem to hyperventilate
It was control moderately well by medicine but I thankfully do not have them anymore
Hard hearing: im not like deaf or anything nor do I use hearing aids but my hearing isn't what it should be for a normal teenager lol
This is because during one of my heart surgeries they gave me a drug used on horses and a little too much if it at that (ketamine?)
Legally blind: yeah come to find out last year found out my eye sight is actual crap
Without my glasses I am legally blind
I've got 20/200 vision 😭
So I've got these crazy thick glasses now
Tourretts: neurological disorder where I make these random noises and movents
Got diagnosed back in sixth grade
My tics ate ill make various sounding noises (all kinda of variations of a hiccup for visualization) and my head will jerk back
It was awful before we found out what it was
Got picked on for it quite a bit and a certain teacher of mine essentially told me "just stop bro lol" and I'd get sent out of class for it even after we had doctor notes for it
Just get up out of that wheel chair then then buddy ☺️
They'd get set off my certain things
Music being one of them so I would carry around these earbuds when there was music around so it didn't get set off
I'm on medicine now for it and it's a LOT better
And a recent development (in the past 6 months) I've been able to listen to music again!
The tourretts aren't going away tho
If over been without medicine for more than 2 days it's BAD
Ovarian cyst (possible pcos?) : this has happened over this summer so you already got some rants on that lol
Buy I've got an 8cm cyst on my left ovary
Hurts like a beach 😃
In fact this Friday I was holed up in my room hyped up on narcotics cause of it
Fun stuff 🙂
Surgery is supposed to be on October 5th so we'll see how that goes
Yeah so medical history of mine 😃
That's fine
We'll see what comes next to the collection I can add
Also here's some pics of a couple of my scars (that I can show several are in places I'm not keen of people seeing 😅)
That's my colostomy scar
And near the top you can see a scar from a chest tube from my third heart surgery
And here's a really good picture of my heart surgery scar that I have (goes down to under the ribcage)
On my neck you can see a breathing tube scar
At least I think that's what it is
Also the corner of my lip I have a scar from some sort of tube from surgery (can't see it well on camera
Tbh idk what half these tiny scars are from
I just know they're remnants of surgery
Any way I do know kw I have a couple of other chest tube scars
But they are not in places to be shown
Same with a few dimples near my tail bone from gastrointestinal surgery
But those are there too
#heart surgery#tetrology of fallot#chd#tourrettes#seizures#tof#colostomy#ostomy#scars#i love them so much ☺️
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hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on
(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶
Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.
I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.
“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.
The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.
I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.
Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!
#ask#I'm not afraid to admit that my fondness for dio is entirely contingent on things I made up about him in my head over the years.#there's a draft here filled with thousands of words about him that I started writing up in response to some ask I got earlier this year#but I never finished it... :( and I also never posted the dozens and dozens of pictures I frenetically drew of him either. maybe someday#on another note: I did my yearly reread of johnny the other month. I'll do something big with him one day but this year is not the year#similarly sasha answers in the queue. I'm glad you enjoyed psychonauts it's one of the greatest games ever visually and re: gameplay. etc#lucy art
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do you have any recs for other peter pan media? i love your art and just read peter darling and i feel crazy
thank you so much! sadly i don't have many because i think a lot of peter pan media is. bad and misses the point.
If you haven't read the original book, i can't recommend it enough! I find sooo charming and well written. Other than that my favorite adaptation ever is the 2003 movie it drives me up the walls how good this movie is. The disney movie is fine and very well animated but you dont need me to tell you abt the disney movie.
As a kid i LOVED Peter pan in scarlet by Geraldine McCaughrean!! Wendy and the lost boys go back to neverland as adults and find it has gone to shit, peter wearing hook's coat and becoming more and more irritable. I actually just learned its the 'official' sequel, authorised by the Great Ormond Street Hospital, so that's neat
Huhh I saw a peter pan musical 2 years ago lol? its french and definitly wasn't recorded, i was the only adult without kids and i had a great time, smee was a woman (double win for feminism AND homophobia ) and they didn't take advantage of the room filled with 6 years old to ask them to all scream they believe in fairies. boo, don't know why i told you abt this. movin on
I haven't read the loisel peter pan series yet so i can't exactly recommend them but i love the art
it seems very edgy and also probably misses the point, and i bet its filled to the brim with early 2000s sexism but. loisel art. yummy. need to check out my local library rn actually
I also liked peter darling quite a bit! heard the audiobook version and had to listen to gay erotic scenes narrated by an old british man on the subway. great experience
i hated lost boy by christinia henry with a PASSION: bad writting, made hook straight, doesnt get peter by making him litteraly evil (hes meant to be a child!! the most child ever!! when he does bad things its because he's selfish or doesn't get it or is angry he's a child!!!) anyway i hate how much this book gets recommended to me whenever my peter pan posts get some traction stop talking to me abt lost boy you guys tricked me into reading it already!! only good thing it does is replacing the native americans by. giant spiders. so i guess less racism than most peter pan works. great
idk ive heard of hooked recently. you guys know abt hooked? from booktok? seems bad
i have a short and mediocre playlist abt my peter pan,, thing too (title translates to 'im mad because 'lost boy' really is the perfect title for this' lol)
thanks for allowing me to ramble abt peter pan!! sorry for not having a lot of positive answers, have a peter i havent posted here yet
if anyone has recs THAT ARENT LOST BOY BY CHRISTINNIA HENRY!!!! feel free to drop them, both me and anon would love that im sure
#peter pan#im trying to hype myself to hate watch pan and peter and wendy but man. they just seem kind of boring dont they#you can REALLY tell most of my inspiration is from the 2003 movie and peter pan in scarlet lol
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rare ramble post
it is so hard to be like. yes i am a trans woman. yes i believe that i am biologically male. yes i hate males and i am literally kam about everything. yes i do not think of myself as a man but if someone were to ask me "does kam include all male people in general" i would say yes bc its kind of biased for me to say no and i dont think its worth it to spend the resources to figure out the like 0.001% of good ones. not that kam is a thing i realistically believe in just like. theoretically you know. idk.
its weird trying to live mostly separatist but not earnestly being part of the group u wanna separate with you know? and like. i literally dont believe in gender yet i am a gender haver. that is simplifying it for sure, its not like the way i think about things isnt consistent, but on the outside it seems like i dont make any sense. i dont get along with most rad-aligned ppl for obvious reasons, and i dont get along with other trans people for obvious reasons. ive met a lot of detrans folks lately that i get along with, but i am not and i doubt will ever be detrans myself.
ig i should say i dont get along with trans women, not trans people lol. ive known plenty of trans men over the years, some of which have been close friends. the truth is 99% of trans women act "like males", at least in my experience. and like. i just cant deal with that lol
i just made a post saying im the only real gender abolitionist so its kind of funny that i say "like males". i am not a biological essentialist nor do i like calling behaviors "masculine" or "feminine". yet any woman reading this knows exactly what im talking about. even the ones that claim to be the "good ones" that are "actually women" etc. are walking caricatures. if i have to see one more instance of that hsts slaaay yassss motherrrrr i love sabrina carpenter shit i will blow my brains out (you are fortunate if you have not encountered this group. i personally find them just as evil as those knee sock programmer catgirldick types)
i cant help but wonder if someone similar to me from an outside perspective would judge me the same way, u know? a lot of my interests are stereotypically male, i am autistic, i am kind of an asshole. ofc at the end im always like. well i have actual feminist values and i cant stand males and i always prioritize women over everything so like. its just me being anxious over nothing i think.
this is mostly unrelated but ive also been thinking a lot abt the ppl who follow me. ive had an influx of followers as of late, but there r others who have followed me for a long time. its kind of funny looking through... i have ppl that i know for a fact hate trans ppl. me being trans is not something ive ever specifically hidden, but its also not something i bring up a lot. i just realized bc of that weird anon the other day that its the first time ive explicitly mentioned it on my blog in a couple years. i couldnt help but be worried abt it! at the same time, i have some old friends i dont rly talk to anymore... a couple of which, despite knowing that i am respectful towards other individual trans ppl and that i am not truly transphobic, im sure have taken issue with the types of things i reblog and strongly personally disagree. yet as im looking over who im following, it doesnt look like ive lost mutuals from either camp.
id like to talk to more people too. its hard to dm people for me, as i think it is for many people here. i have some mutuals i would love to talk with, but i am kind of an ass, and they are kind of an ass, and thats why we follow each other, so its like... they may not even wanna be bothered like that u know? i know what its like when u have some coworker or acquaintance u like well enough but then they start trying to be buddy buddy with u and they become a nuisance. i dont wanna be that!!! i am extremely misanthropic myself so its easy to imagine being on the other end
my friend group (some irl and some online) has a little discord group chat we use. we just added someone new and its been very nice. i really do love meeting new ppl when i vibe with them...
u could say. sylvia why dont u just go meet people irl. well, unfortunately, i cannot tell people irl that i have extremely regular homicidal fantasies and think 50% of the population should kill themselves. i cant rant abt all the dystopian shit i am subjected to on a regular basis, bc they dont view it as dystopian. i cant even discuss my own life and perspectives on things because SOMEONE is going to have their feelings hurt (despite me being the one who has trauma abt it -_-). on the computer there are lots of intelligent people with interesting lives who r also kind of losers and hate everything. i like those people.
i dont rly have a point on any of this. just thoughts ive been having.
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dess-ember day 31/31
hi yall
today i bring my final entry!! i cant believe i made it
its a dess ref, but after the events of deltarune, where i imagine she will be freed
fun fact, i actually made the dess ref i still use exactly a year ago, so thats neat ^^
im not sure if I will keep this design for her being older (the age i usually draw her as is like 15 or 16), but i feel like it turned out okay
i made her a researcher (she researches things to do with souls and magic, things that exist in deltarune but arent really known about in my headcanons), but im unsure if it was the right choice. i imagine she got stuck with gaster in the code for a couple of years, but before that she didnt know what she wanted to do with her life. the way I see it, the gaster in the code with her is the one from undertale, so he has a lot of knowledge on magic and stuff, and learning about it was interesting and helpful for her, and after she got out she wanted to share her knowledge and learn more.
as i said, i dont know if this was a good choice of career, considering she wasnt really the type to become a researcher, but she also changed when she was in the code, so idk. i might change it later.
and for her design, i tried to keep her unruly look as much as possible, despite her job. i changed her hairstyle, keeping it short but giving her a side part and little hair pieces in front of her ears.
i also gave her glasses. i imagine shes needed them for awhile, but she didnt want to look like a nerd 😂 now shes just accepted her fate. i also gave her piercings on her ears, just as a callback to some of my older drawings of her, where i gave her piercings there too.
for her outfit, i gave her a pair of basic dress pants, and a turtleneck (because i love turtlenecks a bit too much lol). and then i gave her a green jacket/coat thing, cause i had to keep her with green, ofc.
and for accessories, i gave her a watch (to match with noelles watch), and i gave her a bracelet with noelles sweater colors. i also gave her a white ring on her left hand, because when i looked it up that was where aro rings were (i hope thats accurate lol).
and thats it, my final entry! its so weird that im here, i didnt think i would make it. i thought id get bored, or too busy, or run out of ideas or something, but i made it. there was a lot of struggle sometimes, and there was ideas i had planned that i never got to, but i feel like it really helped me, having this month. ive definitely gotten better at drawing dess, and i feel like my anatomy and posing had gotten better ^^. though, i dont know if ill do this again. it was difficult, and next year ill be in college, so i might be too busy. i guess we will just wait and see 😁
during this month, ive also thought a lot about dess in general. i have so many thoughts and ideas involving her, yet we still have such little knowledge on her. its weird, i have this whole dess created, but one day she will become obsolete, and we will see who dess actually is. i dont know how to feel about it. but, until we actually see dess, i plan to keep drawing my dess, and i might keep drawing her after we see dess, it just depends. even if im nervous to see her, i cant wait either!
but thats enough of my ramblings, im sure nobody read all that, so for a tldr, i just talked about why i designed older dess like that, my thoughts on my dess-ember, and my thoughts on dess ^^
i hope yall have a wonderful new years!! 🥳🥳
#art#my art#digital art#deltarune#dess holiday#deltarune dess#december holiday#deltarune december#dess-ember#dess-ember day 31
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Lol can i plz have your Caitvi fic list?
haha, i wrote the tag asking people to ask for this list over a month ago and got that ask shortly after, only to go into my bookmark list and see that i have WAYYY too many saved in there. sorry it took a while.
There are a lot (A LOT) of piltover's finest fics, and a lot of them are good. this last year i've been FED like ive probably never been fed before in my life. that means i have a lot of bookmarks that i honestly don't remember much of other than "it good", but i wanted this rec list to include the fics that really left a (positive) mark on me. they aren't ordered in any specific way, and all are sfw. if you guys want my nsfw list, hit me up (i swear it wont take a month again)
Shadows at sea won't keep you from me - this is rated M but the sex is extremely vague. this one is very dialog heavy and is filled with inner vi monologue, however, it feels like a fresh take. I love the home-y vibes they give off here.
i won't let go (i left my baby teeth in your drawer) - caitlyn experiences a crisis in the shower. sounds like every caitvi fic you've ever read but i swear this one has something special to it. it feels really intimate in a way not many fics managed to capture imo, and caitlyn is written very in character.
High Tide Came and Brought You In - caitlyn's a mermaid, vi's a sailor. i'm usually not a person who actively seeks aus, especially not as extreme as this one, but this way such a sweet little thing, even i couldn't help but get swiped by the simple story.
Don't break the rules (maybe just for you) - "i hate aus! especially high school aus!" i scream again and again in every convo about fanfics i've ever had. so why is battle academia like my favorite caitvi au??? i don't know. makes no sense to me. i actively sought out this specific au tag, so i guess it makes me a liar too. what's so special about this one? idk, it has caitlyn and vi in it, it's well written and adorable, its a goddamn high school au, you know exactly what you're getting yourselves into. do be aware that BA!caitlyn is a different beast entirely than arcane!caitlyn, and so is BA!vi to an extent. (EDIT: i made it sound like im mad at this very cute fic, not my intention at all. this one is on here for a reason)
We Have Never Been Fairweather Friends- in the aftermath of the council's attack, caitlyn comes down with a mysterious disease, and vi is there to make sure she's ok. i, *cough*, might have talked about this one before. this might be my favorite fic, or top 2 at least. really good and in character writing, trippy and surprisingly authentic dream sequences, and a mystery that builds at a perfect rate.
Soaked with Sadness - caitlyn attempts catching jinx by herself, vi isn't too pleased. this is the other top 2 fic. the usual well-written-in-character compliment goes here, but also it's got that special brand of intimacy that i like, plus drunk caitlyn, and you kind of find out things in a non-linear way that make the story feel really... well crafted. i had to read it twice in a row cause i felt like i was missing things on the first go (might just be my dumb ESL brain tho).
the negative space and the pausing of time - aftermath fic. like author said, there are tons of those in the tag, and i have read probably all of them, but this one is really really good. the dialog feels especially flowy and snappy. kinda what i wouldve want to see in season 2, if arcane was just about angsty lesbians, which it sadly isn't. fics like this fill the void of the hiatus in my heart.
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would you mind if i just yap? idk who else to talk to, i dont know to many people here. heck you probaly dont even know who i am
so i have this friend brenden. hes really sweet, and funny, and flirtatous in a are idk if your joking or serius type way. we were like best friends last year, we were both in jh. we talked over the summer, but not as much as the school year. then the first day of school comes and we barely talked. until last week that is. (for context i am in high school and hes eigth grade, but we still go to the same school (we stilll have a lot of the same teachers, like science, music and ms. s)) (back to last week) my (our) band teacher called up some egth graders for high school band. im an alto sax, hes a trumpet, so we sat next to each other. hes the sorta friend where even if you havent tlked for months its like nothing happened.
then on saturday, were texting late at night since im stuck at a wedding
me: im so excited for hoco, my shoes and bow came in today
B: I wish i could go to hoco
me: well your an eigth grader so youd need a date to go
me: i dont have a date either tho so i have no room to talk
b: um hi
basically i invited him NON ROMANTICALLY to hoco
we yapped a bunch throughout the rest of the weekend. eventrully i bring up his (now ex) gf taylor and he says they broke up bc she is crazy
so the topic of crushs come up
at this point, im not crushing crushig over him, but like was mildly crushing. weve almosted dated 2 times before btw. so i just played along. im like trying to guess who is crush is. he says her name starts with p, shes a freshman, and she was in the school play. shes crafty and likes to read. the last to were vague so i couldnt use them as strongly as points. But im the only freshman whos name starts with p in the play. the only other p girls were seniors so i sure hope he didnt like them lol. so then im like mines name starts with b, he likes sports, cars blah blah blah
next day he finally admits he likes me and i say i like him too. becuase i do, i wouldve chickened out if i didnt
so were like texting and stuff, and he asks me if me and my ex henry ever kissed, to which i say no. i tell him like henry was the lamest excuse for a boyfriend, we barely talked (we talked but not at like couple type amounts), much less hold hands. (ive held hands with him once)
to which he says stuff like HE'LL KISS ME if (when) we date. its giving "i could be a better boyfriend than him" dove cameron vibes but not gay. hes sayig like hell take me to the race car track too, which is really really sweet becuase i know how muching racing means to him. hes saying such sweet things and omg
side note on the hoco thing i cant take him no jh kids. idrc
the only sad thing is we barely talked today. he didnt ask to date me over text (thank the lord) so i hoped he would today if we walked home together, but my mom ended up driving me home. and we cant walk home together tomorrow becuas i have a dentist. wat da fak. but ill see im tomorrow in choir since is full shoir rehersal
im also crocheting him a hat rn bc hes birthday is next week
Aww thats so sweet!! I hope he ends up asking you out, if he doesnt, would you? Also side note: dw, I know who you are, I'm a smart lad. /nm /gen
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hi hi hi i’m really sorry for answering this late, i was sleeping. please don’t worry if i sound serious… it’s merely the way i talk.
i’m not sure how to explain why i admire you. i already attempted to do so in the first message i sent, but i think there is something about you that just makes me go quiet and observe with interest. i admire how you still hold on, i think. you’re very strong, i’d already give up if i were subjected to the pain you’re most likely feeling.
about my name…uh
i chose to call myself okochama to get used to the name (as i’m planning to use it if i ever get around to becoming a vocaloid producer or otherwise a content creator). its direct translation would be childish or immature, i believe. it’s a trait i’ve been scolded for by nearly all of my friends, one i’ve been trying to erase from all aspects of my behavior. i try to please people, i really do, but i’ve never been able to stop acting the way it is natural to me. humming and jumping and repeating certain phrases, laughing at or finding wonder in things i shouldn’t. i do not want to traumadump, or experiencedump if you wish (as i believe i do not have trauma from these people), but you get my point. my apparent childishness is my most distinctive, albeit negative trait, and i chose to somehow “reclaim” it and call myself immature, in a way.
i yapped, forgive me.
i only log in to discord a few times a month, so after a very long pause, i decided to check on the server. to my surprise, it grew significantly since i joined. i opened a channel and spotted a very familiar name with a very familiar account theme. it didn’t take long for me to realize you and that luka are the same person, i don’t think i’ve seen another jirai named luka so far.
i highly believe you aren’t even aware of my account, as i usually just lurk or am not present at all. but i think i managed to say hi a few times.
as you can already guess, many word typer okochama
thank you for answering my questions okochama!!! sorry i was wrong i just cant read tone
thank you, for all its worth i do think i’m somewhat mentally strong, i mean a lot has happened and does happen to me but im still alive so…
i feel so happy to be admired, ive never felt that before, or someone caring for me just by me existing..?
thats interesting!!! i wanted to try out vocaloid production for a while too. i actually did buy a voicebank some years ago, it was otomachi una. i havent made anything except for some covers though because i dont know how to make music
also, im not trying to push anything and obv i dont have enough info but have you looked into autism…? repeating phrases especially sounds like an autistic trait but obv i cant diagnose you
i hope they havent got to you too much, and also its totally fine to ‘experiencedump’ here, i’ll try to help you if i can, if you care about my wellbeing i care about yours too
thats so crazy by the way!! yes its the same luka ~ i have actually met another jirai luka but it was luca lol. im not aware of your account and i wont try and search for it but if you ever want to reveal it or dm me you’re totally fine too
thanks again okochama~ >_<
#okochama#lukayaps#askbox ⟡#also when u said it meant childish#the song childish war started playing in my head#and nowits stuck
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if its okay to ask, ive been listeing through all of f@tt for the last like, have a year or so, and im finally getting close to the end (close as in im about to start sangfielle, but grand scheme i still think thats close, lol). do you have any podcasts / webcomics / books / etc that you feel have a similar tone, or that you really like as well?
thank you!
okay! hi. sorry this took forever to get around to because i honestly don't know a lot of things that i would consider to be in the same vein as f@tt? the two immediate ones that sprung to my mind were heaven will be mine and gundam, but i get the strangest feeling you already know about both of those. i do have some suggestions that, while not really like friends at the table, i feel you're liable to get something out of if you like it.
podcastwise, something rotten and the ranged touch podcasts (i've only listened to homestuck made this world, but am going to get around to the others, any my friends like them, lol) are nonfiction analysis podcasts. i'm pretty sure austin was actually on the most recent ranged touch patreon episode? but i don't have the money for many subscription things right now, so i can't confirm if that was actually the latest one or anything. + batman unburied is honestly a pretty good podcast that i would recommend if you can buy into the bullshit that is required to get into any major superhero setting. i've also enjoyed what i listened to of campaign: star wars, though that has been very limited. my interest in star wars varies pretty heavily, so i can only listen to it when i'm in a specific mood, and when i am in that mood i'm usually working on catching up on a more civilized age instead.
webcomics: brainchild, fairmeadow, the last halloween, prague race, soil that binds us, and white noise i've all enjoyed what's been put out so far & think other fatt fans may like. i'm a particularly devoted longtime fan of prague race, and i've been really liking white noise.
books: discworld is a very mixed bag for me, but i can't pretend i don't get anything out of it, and i feel if you haven't already read it that there's going to be a lot of appeal overlap for parts of fatt. this is how you lose the time war, obviously. i've moved recently, and have basically a full storage unit's worth of books, but not easy access to them, so i can't really go through and give you recommendations at the moment, because most of the books/series i'm taken with are bad but interesting, and most things that i file under that category i don't know if everyone else will similarly appreciate. i can give you a reading list when i actually get settled in at some point, lol.
shows & movies: nope 2022, the boys (if you can get past the grossout shock humor part of it), the expanse (i am intending to read the books but can't speak to the quality of those yet), the get down, event horizon, palm springs, his house, star trek (especially tng/ds9), princess tutu. this is just off the top of my head, i'm sure i could actually find more shit that i feel like i could put here if i combed through everything i've ever watched.
video games: if you like janine's characters in specific, dragon age will probably be up your alley. other than that, weird west, fallen london and the games surrounding it, disco elysium (obviously), the dishonored series, elder scrolls, zero escape, slay the spire, a mortician's tale, king of the castle (obviously, again), fallen hero, manor hill, vespertines, & dr langeskov (^^) i've all found charming and to hold some level of interest.
i have a lot more things i could recommend if you don't specifically want something good, but i figure i should leave it at things i can actually recommend without too many disclaimers (besides discworld) for this.
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