#ive not drawn enough cursed stuff this year

[robo-milky]

“You really are disgusting.”

I’ve been wanting to do a redraw of this meme for so long but it was already too late, so why not do it for its soon-to-be one year anniversary? This throwback has been plaguing me since seeing it performed at a summer con-

[canary-prince]

If you catch me posting Bible memes I'm not turning into a Christian or whatever the fuck I was before my intense spiritual crisis 2 years ago (or was it three)? I went to school for academic theological studies (analysis of religion from an exterior view point) and recent books have me nostalgic and hyperfixating.

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[jaskiersvalley]

Just wanted to tell you i admire you a lot. You have written so many things already and that is amazing, ive been reading all of it and now im following. Thank you so much for taking the time to fill the fandom with more fanfic hahahah have a great day (/^▽^)/

Thank you so much! I am so please you’re enjoying the stuff I write. There is actually a very good reason for why I’m pumping out so much content at the moment - it’s good old fashioned procrastination. Should I be working on my next novel? Absolutely. Am I writing fanfic instead? Please observe me do it again and thank you for enabling it XD

As much as rumour had it that witchers were emotionless, that was as close to the truth as Geralt being three raccoons in armour. In other words, Geralt had plenty of emotions, felt just like anyone else. The only difference was that he hid it a bit better than most. But, over the years, he’d also developed a bit of a peculiar taste, grown fond of being a witcher and took pleasure from his job.

He had also fallen into patterns that were hard to break. Especially when potions were involved because the world became so wonderfully black and white then. Monsters needed to be assessed, dispatched and the world was a better place. If Geralt was honest with himself, he really liked assessing the threat, there was something calming about the process.

Case in point, he was ambling through a forest when a group of wargs melted out of the undergrowth.

Species: WargDifficulty: 3Ferocity: 4Resilience: 2Weakness: Soft underbelly and throat.

There were other warg facts swirling through Geralt’s mind as he fell into a familiar stance to take the pack of three on. Number of teeth, average speed, pressure exerted by jaw, they were all lodged in his brain, pulled up and ready to be turned into useful information as soon as he needed it.

The fight was over quickly and, as always, Geralt emerged victorious. To be honest, it was as he expected, three warg weren’t a great challenge to a witcher. He moved on, took a few contracts and wondered how Jaskier was getting on. They were meant to be meeting at the tavern where Geralt had picked up his most recent contract. It did seem like the area was plagued with issues. There were three contracts for him to complete, hopefully Jaskier would turn up by the time he finished the last one.

The first contract was easy enough.

Species: CockatriceDifficulty: 6Ferocity: 7Resilience: 4Weakness: Grapeshot, Draconid Oil, Aard.

Geralt didn’t even have to take a potion to deal with it, he was almost disappointed. Usually, there would be a next of cockatrice but this was a lone one. Thoroughly underwhelming.

At least the second contract was a bit more exciting and Geralt actually felt alive, with a potion singing through his veins.

Species: UlfhedinnDifficulty: 7Ferocity: 8Resilience: 6Weakness: Moon dust, Devil’s Puffball, Cursed Oil, Igni.

With his blood still pumping thick and black through him, Geralt lost himself to the thrill of the hunt. There was one more contract to fulfil. This was meant to be a harpy but Geralt suspected it was something more. He was proven right when he watched it swoop down towards him.

Species: EryniaDifficulty: 5Ferocity: 7Resilience: 4Weakness: Grapeshot, Hybrid Oil, Aard.

He fought, teeth bared in a ferocious grin. Everything made so much sense in the fight, had its own place, its beauty in the savage battle. Wih a final grunt, Geralt downed the erynia and twirled on his heel towards the noise.

Species: HumanDifficulty: 1Ferocity: 2Resilience: 1Weakness: Slice the throat or stab up and through the unprotected stomach.

Advancing with his sword raised, Geralt wondered why the human wasn’t meeting him with weapons drawn. Or running, giving rise to a thrilling hunt. Instead, this human stood his ground, levelled him with an unreadable look.

“Really Geralt?” The voice was familiar and it made Geralt stumble. The high of the fight was dissipating as his bloodied sword came to rest against the softness of a belly. Sight and mind cleared, Geralt let his sword drop in aghast horror.

“You’re paying for my laundry.” Jaskier grumbled, looking down at himself. “Do you know how hard it is to get monster blood out of silk? You might as well just buy me a new shirt.”

His words washed over Geralt who was having an internal crisis - he’d almost skewered Jaskier. His bard, who seemed to have zero survival instinct. Except, Geralt knew better, Because Jaskier had stood his ground calmly, trusted Geralt to draw out of his potion induced madness. It seemed, Geralt was going to have to reassess his statistics.

Species: Jaskier (human)Difficulty: N/AFerocity: 2Resilience: 8Weakness: Geralt of Rivia.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[xadoheandterra]

Series: Semblance Title: Patriciate Fandom: Jak and Daxter Chapters: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI Characters: Jak, Daxter, Samos, Keira, Kid!Jak, Ashelin, Torn, Tess Tags: Worldbuilding, Accidentally King of Haven!Jak, hurt/comfort, things go wrong, things get better, things get worse again, slow build, slow burn, slow to update, cross posted, fantasy racism, canon divergence, been meaning to share this here Summary: “It’s yours,” Jak said softly. “Keep it…remember where you come from. At least one of us should remember….”

If Jak knew the consequences of that one, selfish choice...well, he'd probably have made the same decision either way.

Jak breathed out a slow sigh of relief when the burn of dark eco finally worked its way out of his system. He rubbed his temples in a vain hope to push back the throbbing migraine the shift back gave him, and straightened his back slowly. He could hear his spine pop, and in a way the sound felt like music to his ears. Jak twitched his neck from side to side, and tried to return his focus to the world around him. 

“JAK! LOOK OUT!” Daxter screeched. Jak jerked his head up in time to see the remains of Kor begin to crash down into the ground. The head of the metal head queen bashed right into the active rift ring. Jak cursed. He twisted around to dodge and saw the kid, free of the bubble Kor put him in. 

“Precursors!” Jak hissed between his teeth. He dove for the kid and the stone, and then rolled them both out of the way. The body crashed down scant inches from Jak’s back and knocked the stone from his hand. It bounced and came to a stop a few feet away; dust and metal head remains, practically showered Jak in dirt and grime when the body fell. When the destruction stopped Jak pushed himself upward. He looked down at the kid, who stared back with wide eyes.

“You okay?” Jak rasped, ears slanted in concern. The kid nodded quickly and gave Jak a thumbs up. Jak sighed. “Oh thank the precursors.”

“Yeah, let’s thank the guys who got us in this situation in the first place,” Daxter grumbled. He wriggled his way out from under Jak’s leg. “Yes, let’s thank them. Let’s not worry about Daxter who just got squished by your big ass. You ain’t light you know! And I’m small!”

Jak chuckled. “Sorry Dax. You okay?”

Daxter shot Jak a grin back and waved his hand tiredly. “Nah, I’m good. Let’s just not do that again.”

Jak nodded once. He stood to his feet and dusted off his knees, then reached down to help the kid up and check him over. He couldn’t find any wounds, no scrapes. It honestly looked like Kor didn’t bother to hurt the child given everything, but Jak decided not to look a gift yakow in the mouth. Instead he just smiled, a sort of half quirk of his lips, and rubbed at the kids head.

“Glad you were out for most of that,” Jak murmured. “Pretty scary stuff there.”

The kid nodded, and then looked over to the stone. Jak turned to help out Daxter. He checked over his friend—even if Daxter said that nothing broke Jak needed to be certain. It didn’t help that, despite a year of having Daxter on his shoulder, Jak still worried the dark eco aura he gave out and how it might affect the teen-turned-ottsel.

“I’m fine, Jak. Quit ya fussin’,” Daxter grumbled. He shoved Jak’s hand off of his head and scampered up Jak’s leg with practiced ease. Jak sighed in relief.

“Good,” the teen mumbled.

“’Sides, I’m the hero, remember?” Daxter cheered, and Jak’s lips quirked back up.

“That you are, Dax,” Jak agreed.

Neither teen noticed the kid toddle on over to the Precursor stone at first, not until little hands touched the crystalline shape and a flash of light swallowed the world. Jak paused. His breath hitched; the light felt warm and safe and a part of him hadn’t realized that warm and safe weren’t things he’d felt anymore. At first he closed his eyes, fought back the feeling of tears that threatened to overwhelm him. Then the light left, along with it the feeling, and Jak found himself hollow, drawn out and carved thin. His throat felt dry, and he opened his eyes to find the source of the distburance—

The rest of whatever breath Jak had left him in a rush of, “Oh man…a Precursor,” spoke so faint that Daxter alone probably heard what he said. The kid backed up, stared at the glowing, tall elfin being. Jak quickly wrapped a hand around the child’s shoulder to steady him. Both stared in awe at the creature with identical looks. Even Daxter found himself struck oddly silent.

The Precursor tilted its head. There weren’t eyes, but it glowed like a miniature sun of pure eco. A second’s pause settled between the four before it even started to speak. It’s ‘voice’ reminded Jak of the Oracle in the water slums, of the idols back before the invasion that he’d romped around with, with Daxter. It sounded rough, but understanding. Cryptic, but clear. Jak couldn’t breathe.

“It is finished…” the Precursor rumbled, and Jak swallowed heavily through his dry throat. “Our ancient enemy is no more.” Kor, the thing meant Kor. Precursors Jak felt a bit faint at the thought. He’d finished an ancient war; not once, in all this time, Jak thought about the fact that the war with the metal heads went on for far longer than Haven’s history. He ducked his head and pressed his lips.

He’d ended a war.

“Take hope brave one!” the Precursor continued and Jak’s brow furrowed. “The terrible darkness inside you is now balanced by a glorious light.” At the word ‘darkness’ Jak snapped his head up. As the Precursor continued he felt himself pale. A light? No, within him Jak felt no light. Dark eco; all the remained, even now—the things that the Baron did to him. The pain. The suffering. His limbs burned with the substance faintly even in his day to day life. Jak breathed out slowly. The Precursor; it was wrong.

For a moment Jak got the feeling that the Precursor frowned at him, like it sensed his thoughts and was disappointed. It felt like all of the beings hard work, all of its guidance over the years—the years in Sandover and then the year here of fighting and bleeding and hard work—meant nothing if Jak didn’t listen. Jak licked his lips, opened his mouth to apologize, but the being shook its head.

“We will meet again,” it promised. The words rang almost ominously in the air before it turned and flew straight into the rift gate.

From his shoulder Daxter hunkered down. His ears shifted flat and he glanced to Jak. “Weeeeell…” he dragged out slowly. “That happened.”

Jak nodded, gaze focused on the ring, eyes wide. He didn’t notice when Brutter’s lurker balloon landed down with Keira, Samos, and Samos. The rift rider thankfully remained intact during the journey, and when Jak did notice—after a yell of, “Jak!” from Keira—he felt thankful that the thing survived at all. Thankful, and sad.

He glanced down to the kid.

“Jak, we haven’t much time!” Keira said quickly. She moved into his space and Jak frowned. He glanced from her to the ring and noticed how little of it seemed left. No, there really wasn’t any time left, was there? “I’ve set the coordinates back to our village. Let’s go home, everyone!”

Jak didn’t want to burst Keira’s bubble. A part of him longed for it, longed for the beach of Sandover and the simplicity of life—longed for what had been and not what was now. He couldn’t have it though. Not anymore. Not after everything that he’d done, seen, faced. Jak looked down at his hands, and then at the kid who looked back up at him.

Could he condemn a child to the future that awaited him? Could he give the boy a scant few years of happiness, knowing that when he was fourteen he’d come here, to this hell and suffer at the hands of those who should have known better? To face Erol and Praxis and to become a killer and a monster? Jak closed his eyes, he breathed out slowly.

“Keira…” he said, voice soft. The roughness of it eased away as he thought. “We are home.”

‘Dax, this…horrible place. It’s…our world!’

Jak grimaced and then slipped past Keira before she could say anything more. He tuned out Samos arguing with himself and instead helped the Kid hop up onto the platform that held the rift rider. He gave the boy a small, almost sad smile.

“You stay safe when you’re there, okay?” Jak murmured. “Remember to protect this scrawny little blabber mouth that you’ll meet. You’ll know him when you see him, and he’ll need you as much as you’ll need him.” The kid nodded his head, face set into serious lines that Jak himself wore.

“Hey!” Daxter whined and when Jak arched an eyebrow in his direction he mumbled petulantly, “’m not scrawny.”

“Sure you aren’t, Dax,” Jak chuckled softly. His ears twitched as he noted that the conversation between the two Samos’ almost grew to a close, especially when Keira started to chime in entirely confused about the situation. He glanced to Daxter, who gave a short nod, and then the ottsel darted off to help continue to distract the three just long enough that Jak could finish his goodbye.

Jak’s attention drew back to his younger self when he heard a snap of the cord from around the kid’s neck. The kid held out the seal to Jak, eyes wide and face stern. Jak stared down at it. This, this was his. This was something that was a sign of who he was, that he was the heir to this city. Jak swallowed. Did he want it? Did he want that responsibility?

No. No, it wasn’t fair to take it. Jak closed his eyes and swallowed resolutely. He reached out and curled the child’s fingers back around the seal. He shook his head softly and opened his eyes. The kid looked up at him, confused.

“It’s yours,” Jak said softly. “Keep it…remember where you come from. At least one of us should remember….”

The kid stared down at the amulet, and then back up at Jak. He nodded resolutely and tucked it under his overalls. Jak smiled, and then blinked.

“Oh! Right, and stay away from any whumpbee nests on your ninth birthday,” Jak added quickly.

“Yeah! That wasn’t fun!” Daxter chimed in. He jumped back up onto Jak’s shoulder.

“And whose fault was it that we even got in that mess in the first place?” Jak shot back, arms crossed over his chest.

“Well I don’t know why ya lookin at me like that,” Daxter replied absentmindedly, but Jak could read the faint hint of nervousness in his best friends face.

“Sure you don’t,” Jak chuckled.

“Now boys! Enough yammering! My younger self has to get going before it’s too late!” Samos interrupted, ambling over to whack both Jak and Daxter over the heads with his stick. Jak jerked and rubbed at the spot with a scowl. Apparently not even saving the world, again, got him free from getting whacked over the head by Samos.

Jak backed away from the rift rider and gave a nod to the small kid, who nodded back before he climbed up onto the seat, the younger Samos already settled down. Jak watched them leave, a small part of him sad. He knew what future awaited the child, and a part of him wished he just stopped this before it even began.

“It’s funny,” Samos murmured from next to Jak, “but he won’t remember any of it.”

Jak glanced to Samos out of the corner of his eye. “No…” he mumbled. “I remember the light.”

Maybe he would remember more than just that. Jak hoped so.

It’d been a while before Jak exhaustedly got back to Haven. Exiting the nest had to take time; Jak and Daxter needed to protect Keira, Brutter, and Samos on their way out. Metal heads, even without Kor, were still a vicious threat and attacked on sight; although now they were uncoordinated. They had to rest frequently, curled up in hidden alcoves once they were free of the dank, twisted caverns that Kor built up. Samos hadn’t aged well and if Jak knew anything he knew that he couldn’t push Samos. Besides, Keira would have his head if he even tried.

Most nights, as they worked themselves back within communications range, Jak spent awake with Daxter snoozing away in his lap. His morph gun rested against his shoulder within easy reach just in case any metal heads surfaced while Brutter, Samos, Keira, and Daxter slept. He spent those hours with his eyes focused out on the world, watching, and his fingers gently carding through Daxter’s fur. The few times where he did sleep, he only did so when he felt assured in their safety. Even then Jak didn’t sleep for long, only an hour or two before he went back to his watch.

When they reached Mar’s gun Jak paused for rest. Daxter pulled out Ashelin’s communicator and tried to hail the Underground, tried to hail Ashelin, anyone. They were met with static and silence and a part of Jak worried that the metal heads inside Haven had taken over. Without Kor they weren’t organized, but there still remained a veritable hoard within the city when Jak left. Lips pressed thin, feeling the despondency of his companions, Jak decided they should press onward. They air train had dropped him off a ways away and maybe they’d be able to contact someone there, or even better maybe someone already sent it on ahead to await their return.

They found the site empty, no air train, nothing but torn up ground and metal heads. Jak made quick work of the beasts and focused on the others. He built up a basecamp against the craggy rock, double checked their rations with Daxter, and set up a round where everyone would give a go at the communicator in hour intervals. They just had to wait, Jak thought. Someone would come for them. The fact that Samos agreed with him at least rallied Keira to his side. Brutter didn’t doubt him one bit, and Daxter—Daxter rambled in the way he did when worried.

It took three days more before communications came back. Three days of hardly sleeping, three days spent checking the perimeter Jak set up and rationing off the rations he had with him. By the time three days passed everyone, even Samos, began to feel like they’d been abandoned. Then the communicator, for the first time, gave something other than static.

“Jak? Jak can you read me?” Ashelin’s voice came through. It crackled and popped and some of the words were dropped, but the basics of what she asked where clear.

Jak snapped up the communicator from Keira, whose turn it was to try and get into contact, and responded. “Ashelin. What the hell is going on?”

“The communications tower was hit sometime after you went into the nest,” Ashelin said through broken static. “We couldn’t be sure you were alive until we got it back up. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Yeah,” Jak mumbled. “Kor’s dead.”

For a moment there remained silence, and then suddenly instead of Ashelin it was Torn. “Are you certain?”

“Yeah,” Jak growled out. “I have his head if you want proof.”

“…no, I’ll trust your word on this. It explains the sudden erratic behavior of the mess in the city.” There was a pause where Jak breathed out a sigh of relief. “How are you holding up?”

“Low on rations,” Jak said. “We’ve also got Keira, Samos, and Brutter here.”

“The Shadow’s with you!?”

Jak paused. He’d almost forgotten that Samos, the younger Samos, was the mysterious ‘Shadow’ that lead the Underground.

“Er, yeah,” Jak mumbled. “I thought you knew?”

“No! We’d been searching for him for days. For Mar’s sake, what was he thinking?!”

Before Jak could even answer Samos grabbed the communicator out of his hand and decided to voice his own response, words filled with the condescension Jak and Daxter were so familiar with.

“I was thinking that I had important matters to take care of once Kor was dead! Matters that could only be handled in the nest!” Samos ground out. “Matters such as specifically ensuring that young Jak got to a place of safety so that he could grow up to eventually save this city!”

“Jak’s there with you,” Torn said, voice pitched low. Jak winced. “What in Mar’s name are you talking about?”

“Are you that blind, Commander?” Samos grumbled. “Even I noticed the similarities when I first saw them together!”

“You did?!” Jak blurted out suddenly. “You never thought to tell me?”

“I knew you’d learn the truth if you just opened your eyes,” Samos grumbled back. “But of course you’d forget what I told you. In one ear and out the other, never listening to your elders!”

Jak scrubbed a hand through his hair and growled back, “Well telling me ‘find yourself, Jak!’ was extremely cryptic given the circumstances.”

“It was perfectly clear!” Samos defended.

“Perfectly clear my a—”

Ashelin, at some point, apparently got hold of the communicator again because her voice wafted over sharp and clear, interrupting Jak before he could even finish the sentence. “Explain. Now.”

“Jak is the heir to the city,” Samos said bluntly. “The child we protected was sent to the past to keep him safe from his enemies. He grows up to be the,” here Samos harrumphed out of annoyance, “hero to save Haven from Kor and the metal heads.”

There was a moment’s pause, and then, “Can you prove it?”

“Of course! Jak has the seal to the House of Mar, don’t you Jak?” Samos turned and peered at Jak determinedly. Jak looked away. “Don’t you, Jak?”

Well, shit. Jak hated that voice. Jak hated when Samos used that voice. He winced, and for a moment questioned his own decision to let the kid keep the only thing that was truly his. Maybe it’d been selfish of him, but Jak always wished he had something from his family, something from before living with his ‘uncle’ in Sandover.

“Answer me, boy!” Samos barked out and Jak winced again.

“I…don’t have it,” Jak mumbled. “Must’ve lost it back in Sandover.”

Or, more likely, he never had it in the first place. Jak didn’t tell Samos that, though. Let the old man think he hadn’t, possibly, changed a bit of history on a selfish whim.

Samos, predictably, exploded. “You what?!”

Jak curled in on himself, ears falling back as he let the admonishments wash over him with a grimace on his face. Disappointing Samos had always settled wrong with him, and even know he didn’t like the lecture and the berating that he received. Perhaps he’d never get used to constantly screwing up in the old Sage’s eyes. As Samos continued, Daxter quickly rose to Jak’s defense and suddenly there was a cacophony of noise loud enough to burn his ears. Jak clamped a hand over them in an attempt to drown out the sound, especially as Ashelin and Torn joined in on the conversation.

It was Keira who put a stop to everything. She whistled loudly, loud enough to pierce Jak’s ears and leave them ringing. He almost couldn’t make out what she said, but he followed the flow of the conversation well enough.

“Even if Jak doesn’t have this seal thingy that doesn’t mean he isn’t the…heir…to the city,” Keira said, and she stumbled over the words enough that Jak remembered she hadn’t known who the kid was to the Underground. Despite all the times that Jak had dragged him over to her garage to hide out from KG patrols when he was babysitting not once had he told her about the boy being a, well, a prince.

Fuck. Didn’t that mean Jak was a prince, too? His head hurt from just thinking about it, already with the pounding migraine that threatened to put him flat on his ass from all the yelling earlier. Exhaustion, too, wanted to overtake him. He drowned out the rest of the conversation and settled himself against a wall. He curled down and dug his fingers into his hair, ears pressed back and down. He didn’t want to be the heir to the city. He didn’t want the responsibility. If people knew, if anyone but the Underground knew—Jak feared the consequences. He feared being put into power, being forced to have the lives of thousands on his hands, forced to command people who had so easily before broken, tortured, changed him.

Somehow, through all the arguing and fighting and Keira calming down risen tempers Samos squirreled out of Ashelin and Torn the promise of an air train to come pick them up. At some point Daxter wound his way around Jak’s neck and began soothingly running clawed small fingers through his hair. Keira carefully got Jak up and lead him towards the air train when it arrived, shushed her father, and amidst it all Brutter remained blissfully silent.

At some point, during the ride, Jak passed out.

It was weird to see the city so cheerful when all Jak remembered of it was the oppression and darkness. Heads were down and people shuffled about quickly, determined to get through their business and then return home, out of the watchful eyes of the KG. They kept quiet aside from the sound of zoomers and the KG talking of their radios, or the Baron’s propaganda commentary, the city had always been eerily quiet.

Now, though, it bustled. People cheered and moved freely. They embraced and laughed. They mourned through parties, rejoiced at the end of a war that had spanned centuries. They praised Praxis, Ashelin specifically as the Baron’s death and his crimes had been reported shortly after the clean up—and Jak felt like it’d been a kick to the teeth to find out it’d been a full week and a half before they’d even been thought of and rescued.

Tess had at some point gotten Ashelin to give her the Hip Hog, and then she’d promptly handed it over to Daxter. They’d conspired for a day or two and then the Hip Hog debuted as the Naughty Ottsel with a loud, cheerful celebration of the end of a year of hell. Jak let himself relax, let himself revel in being surrounded by friends and comrades. He tried not to think about his position, his status in regards to the city despite that it followed him around like a lurker shark biding its time for its prey.

As Jak moved back indoors, settled down with Sig and Daxter—Keira and Samos wandered off to another section of the bar with Keira eagerly discussing what she was going to do now that they were going to live in Haven permanently—and Tess brought them a round of drinks. Daxter and Sig started off right away with Daxter telling the epic story of how they defeated Kor for Sig. Each dramatic wave of the ottsel’s hand and each exaggeration of the story brought a smile to Jak’s face as he carefully nursed the drink in front of him.

Jak never drank before. The entire thing felt like a novelty and a taboo all at once. The alcohol burned, but it burned pleasantly unlike the burn of eco that shifted around under his skin and through his muscles. Jak said nothing but Haven hurt. Breathing pained him, the air stagnant and corrupted, touch by the dark eco that the city used as a power source without abandon. Drinking water often burned down his throat, and even spending hours fighting despite that his muscles protested, that his heart and the beat of his own blood felt like fire, took its toll eventually.

The alcohol, amazingly enough, washed away a bit of the pain. It left behind a dull sensation of warmth that Jak sorely missed, but it didn’t fill the empty feeling that burrowed deep in his chest. Still the feeling was pleasant, and a reprieve from the pain. For the first time in a long time Jak felt himself truly relax. He leaned against Sig, let himself just let go of everything. His worries washed away in a pleasant buzz and hum of Daxter’s voice and the warmth of Sig’s skin.

Luck reared its ugly head quickly enough when Ashelin picked her way gingerly over to Jak who dozed lightly against Sig. He felt his job was done, he was done. Ashelin felt otherwise.

“Jak,” Ashelin said carefully. “May I speak with you? In private.”

Jak blinked, and quite suddenly everything came rushing back. He tensed, pulled himself from Sig, and turned to face Ashelin. The pleasant hum of the alcohol beneath his skin kept him at least lightly relaxed, but the realization, the knowledge of what Ashelin probably wanted to speak about, now hovered back into his conscious though.

Daxter, at the table, fell silent. Sig looked at him in concern.

“Now, Jak,” Ashelin said softly. “Please.”

Jak swallowed heavily, nodded once, and got up from the booth.

“You okay, cherry?” Sig asked.

“Want me to come with you?” Daxter perked up, ready to clamber onto Jak’s shoulder. Jak shook his head towards Daxter and told Sig he was fine. Silently he followed Ashelin towards the back. He wasn’t surprised to see Torn there as well, leaned against a table, arms crossed, face set into a scowl.

Jak scrubbed at his face tiredly. The pleasantness of the alcohol left his system in a rush. He held up a hand to stop either of them from talking for a moment. Jak needed to get his bearings straight, his thoughts in order. Show no weakness, show none of the signs that you are afraid. Jak grit his teeth.

“Would you like to sit?” Ashelin asked. She took a seat herself up on the table, legs crossed.

“I’ll stand,” Jak said back and focused his gaze onto the two of them. “What is it.”

Torn huffed. “What is it, he says,” the Commander grumbled. “We need to figure out what to do with this mess.” Torn waved one hand, gesturing at the metaphorical mess he spoke about. “Without the kid the Underground’s claims of being fighting for the people suddenly become the talk of traitors. The kid was the lynch pin, Jak. With him we could be seen as people trying to take back the city.”

“Weren’t you?” Jak shot back, brow furrowed.

“Of course we damn well were!” Torn snapped and slammed his fist down onto the table. “Without a real source of backing though we’re nothing but a bunch of traitors, fighting against Baron Praxis! Even with Ashelin’s support—” Torn cut himself off with a curse.

“What Torn is trying to say,” Ashelin continued, voice even and calm, “is that to the council and nobility I’m not a known ally of the Underground, and they’re quite aware that I’ve been ignorant of the majority of my father’s crimes. Even if I vouch for the Underground the majority will only see the harm they’ve done. Without the heir to the throne they’re nothing more than traitors, and more than a few would be all too happy to pin the blame of the metal head invasion on the Underground’s shoulders. They don’t have a legitimate claim to force change.”

Jak scowled. “But they helped this city!” He waved his hand out, exploding suddenly with anger. “They did what Praxis didn’t. They fought against the metal heads and kept people safe!”

Torn sighed. “It won’t matter. We’re still traitors in their eyes. The most we can hope for is banishment to the wastes and a slow death, the least would be a quick death.”

Jak clenched his fists and grit his teeth. He wanted to say that such a thing wasn’t fair, but he remembered this was Haven. This was Hell. Of course it wouldn’t be fair, of course nothing would be fair here. All those people, everyone in the Underground—Torn, Tess, Samos….Jak breathed out explosively and ran his hands through his hair. He slumped down on himself.

“What can we do?” he asked plaintively, and for all the world he actually looked sixteen, bordering on seventeen. He looked like a lost and confused kid. He didn’t notice when Torn swallowed heavily, or how Ashelin stared at him with wide eyes like they both suddenly saw something that neither expected to see.

For a moment nobody said anything, and then Ashelin spoke up firmly, “We just have to prove you’re the heir to the city.”

Torn twisted, his eyes snapped open wide as Jak’s head jerked up.

“Ashelin you can’t be serious!” Torn growled out. “Anything we do to actually provide irrefutable proof would mean reinstating the—”

Ashelin held up her hand and cut Torn off. “I know what it means, Commander, and if that’s what it takes…” she breathed out slowly. “Perhaps, in the end, it is for the best.”

Jak’s gaze danced between them, lips pressed thin. What would come would come, Jak figured. Right now he had to keep his friends safe, he had to keep the heroes safe, the innocents, and all the people who only wanted to do right by Haven. Jak straightened out, squared his shoulders, and nodded once.

“What do I have to do,” Jak asked, and that was the end of that.

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal 

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also  hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

[lunatens]

felix felicis (i)

word count: 2.5k

part i/iv

genre: fluff, harry potter au

pairing: hufflepuff!felix x ravenclaw!reader

a/n: the drought is over....i’m finally posting again gsdjfhsjfh i hope u all like harry potter! i truly don’t know how many parts this’ll be so i guess we’ll see as we go. also i haven’t read or watched harry potter in a lil while so if some of the rules don’t make sense just ignore them (lol plus i can do what i want)

“you know, you don’t have to be the best in every class,” chan says as he slides into the seat beside you at your usual spot in the great hall. you give him a glare, then continue stabbing at your plate of eggs. 

“it’s not the fact that i’m not the best; if someone like seungmin, for example, did better than me, i’d be happy for him! it’s because it’s that stupid felix kid! he never pays attention in class, he rarely studies or does his homework, and he’s always out playing quidditch or visiting hogsmeade or something. he should be failing! not getting higher grades than ME of all people! i don’t know how he does it. i’m in the library like, 24/7, and i take notes in class and i don’t know i just...work harder than him. it’s stupid and unfair,” you rant, ending with an angry huff as you shovel a forkful of eggs in your mouth. chan stares at you blankly for a couple seconds, processing everything you just said. 

“you seem a little jealous, y/n,” he comments, and you glare daggers at him. 

“i am NOT. i just don’t understand how he, of ALL PEOPLE, was the only person in our class who could brew a draught of peace successfully,” you respond, and chan sighs. 

“maybe he’s just naturally really smart. or he’s just lucky. besides, it’s been 2 days since that potions class, maybe it’s time to stop being so bitter about it,” he says, patting your shoulder in comfort. “i gotta go, i’m meeting up with changbin and jisung soon. you coming to the quidditch game tonight?” he says as he stands up and gathers his things. 

“i don’t know, probably not, i have to stu-“

“wrong answer, you’re coming to the game. it’s ravenclaw against hufflepuff, you could at least support your own house,” he tells you. chan reaches over to snatch a piece of toast off of your plate, walking away before you can say anything. 

“i’ll be waiting for you outside your common room later,” he calls over his shoulder, and you glare at his back as he heads to class. it’s moments like this that make you question your friendship with chan. you finish your breakfast, then pick up the stack of books you’d been reading before going to leave yourself. you make your way out of the great hall, heading back to the ravenclaw common room to grab an extra quill and some parchment (chan always seemed to forget his, and you had muggle studies with him later). you whirl around the corner only to collide with someone so hard you’re both sent flying to the ground, your books spilling over the floor. 

“oops, i’m so sorry!” the other person says, and you recognize felix’s deep voice immediately. he begins picking up your books while you sit there fuming, staring at his mess of blonde hair. he stands up and brushes himself off, then reaches a hand out to help you up. 

“sorry, i always forget to watch where i’m going,” he says sheepishly. a faint blush grows on his freckled cheeks, and you hate how cute he looks. you swat his hand away, then reach to take your books from him as you stand up. of all people, of course felix had to be the one you ran into. 

“how’d you make that potion?” you blurt out; you don’t mean to sound so aggressive in your questioning—actually, you don’t mean to even talk to felix at all, you wanted to just leave without a word, but you have to know how he does so well. felix seems unphased at your bluntness. 

“beginners luck, i guess,” he says with a shrug. you squint at him, skeptical of his answer. 

“i don’t believe in luck,” you say. “for real, how do you do it? you’re always at the top of the class, but i’ve literally never seen you set foot in the library…”

“i don’t know, i just kind of show up and do my best. the universe must just like me or something,” he says nonchalantly. “you’re y/n, right? i think we have a few classes together,” he adds on. 

“yeah, we do,” you reply, your voice cold. how could felix be so friendly towards you when you’ve been nothing but rude to him? his laid back demeanour just irritates you more. “anyways, i have a class to get to. i’ll see you around,” you say, before slipping into the sea of students bustling around in the hallways, leaving felix behind. 

~

chan flops into the seat beside yours, sending an apologetic wave to the professor for being a couple minutes late. you slide your extra supplies towards him wordlessly, your other hand continuing to madly scribble notes. 

“oh thanks y/n, you’re a lifesaver,” chan says gratefully. “i got caught up talking about game strategy with changbin and jisung and lost track of time,” he admits. 

“mhm,” you mumble, too focused on the lesson to really pay attention. 

class is about halfway over, and your professor is droning on about microwaves and various kitchen appliances when a tiny paper bird lands on your desk, interrupting your note taking. you turn in your seat to see where it came from only to meet the gaze of felix, leaning back in his seat in the back of the class beside his slytherin friend, hyunjin (who you’re pretty sure is taking a nap). he waves at you, and you scrunch up your nose at him and turn back around. the paper bird won’t stop flapping around, so you shove it in your pocket to look at it later and continue your note taking. 

~

“can i change my mind? i don’t wanna go anymore,” you grumble as you walk to the quidditch pitch with chan, changbin and jisung. you stuff your hands in your coat pockets, trying to protect them from the biting cold wind. 

“it’s just a quidditch match, y/n, it’s not the end of the world,” chan says with a sigh. 

“it is when felix is keeper for the hufflepuff team,” you mutter to yourself. you pull out the paper he sent you in class earlier, creases unfolded to display the black ink on the crinkled paper. felix has crudely drawn (what you assume is supposed to be) him flying around in front of the hoops on the quidditch pitch, with you sitting in the stands holding a book. felix has given you a frowny face, and he’s drawn a little storm cloud above your head. underneath the drawing he’s written, in his sloppy handwriting, “you should consider taking your nose out of your books and doing something fun, aka coming to tonight’s quidditch game ;-).” 

“ooh, who’s that from?” jisung asks, grabbing the note from your hands to look at it. “felix? i thought you hated that kid,” he says before handing it back to you. the three gryffindors all turn to look at you. 

“i do, which is precisely why i didn’t wanna come to the game tonight. especially now—he’s gonna think i’m here because of him!” you complain. jisung laughs at this, and changbin smirks at you. 

“relax, y/n, it’s gonna be fine. he’s just being nice—maybe you should give that a try. besides, the stands’ll be packed, what are the odds he’ll even see you in the crowd?” chan asks. 

“besides, you’re clearly the best at taking notes, so we need you to write down what happens so we can crush ravenclaw next week. no offense,” changbin adds, and you roll your eyes at him. 

“you’re lucky i love you guys,” you say as the four of you weasel your way to the front of the stands. it’s not long before you hear minho’s voice booming across the pitch as he begins announcing the game, introducing the lineup for each team. you duck into chan as the hufflepuff team flies by, not wanting to be seen by felix. he laughs and ruffles your hair before nudging you off of him. 

“relax, y/n, it’s gonna be fine! look, the game’s starting—jisung and changbin, watch the ravenclaw beaters and try to figure out their tactics; i’ll watch the chasers and try to figure out their plays so we can copy them in practice,” he says, and the three gryffindor boys lean forward eagerly to watch as ravenclaw takes possession of the quaffle. your quill scribbles furiously as you listen to the boys’ commentary, taking notes so they can go over them later. you don’t really mind not being able to watch the game; you don’t really care much for the sport, plus your friends always take you out for butterbeer afterwards, so you don’t have any complaints. 

“damn, felix is really good,” chan mutters, and your head snaps up at his name. you watch as felix somehow deflects a ravenclaw’s attempt at scoring—you’re not quite sure how he even managed to make it in time, but you have to admit it was impressive. as hufflepuff supporters cheer in the crowd, felix does some goofy poses on his broomstick (honestly you have no idea how he hasn’t fallen off yet). 

“yeah that was a really good save—too bad he’s not a gryffindor, we could use a good keeper,” changbin adds on, and you giggle at the bitterness in his tone; last year’s keeper and captain of the gryffindor quidditch team, jaebeom, was amazing—after he graduated and appointed chan captain, chan had been left with the task of finding a keeper good enough to replace jaebeom. 

“yeah, we really could,” chan says with a sigh. the game continues, the ravenclaw and hufflepuff teams fairly evenly matched and the snitch nowhere to be seen. one of the ravenclaw chasers flies right overhead, a whoosh of cold air rushing over everyone in the stands as she races away from a bludger. you shiver, cursing yourself for forgetting your hat and scarf. 

“a little chilly over there?” chan says with a laugh as he wraps his scarf around your neck. the small bit of warmth is comforting, and you’re able to keep taking notes for the boys. 

~

“and first-year seeker, hufflepuff’s yang jeongin catches the golden snitch, ending the game with a score of 210-80 for hufflepuff!” minho announces, and the crowd erupts in applause. defeated ravenclaws (you’re not one of them) and ecstatic hufflepuffs make their way from the stands back to the castle. you pass your notes to chan, who stuffs them in his robes. 

“thanks again y/n, we’ll be sure to thank you when we destroy ravenclaw!!” chan says excitedly. “you coming to the three broomsticks with us?” he questions. you shake your head in response. 

“nah, i’ve got a herbology test tomorrow and i’m behind on studying. bring me back some candy from honeyduke’s though!” you say, waving as you head back along the path to the castle. 

you’re enjoying the quiet walk alone in the brisk autumn air; the chatter of distant groups of students mixes in with satisfying crunch of dead leaves as you shuffle along the path. the wind nips at your ears and nose, and you cozy into chan’s scarf for warmth. 

“y/n, wait up!” a voice calls from behind you. you turn to see felix jogging up the path, broomstick clutched tightly in one hand while his scarf trails behind him like a kite string, the yellow and black stripes standing out against the darkening gray sky. 

“oh, hi felix,” you mutter, turning around and continuing your walk. you don’t bother waiting for him to catch up, rather listening to his footsteps and breaths grow louder as he runs after you. 

“you came to the game!” he says, and his freckles cheeks are rosy from the cold. his slightly breathless, and his sweaty hair is blown every which way. 

“nice observation. i was only there because my friends dragged me along though, don’t get any ideas,” you tell him. 

“what, you’re sure you weren’t there to watch me play?” felix teases. “only kidding; i saw you bent over your parchment the whole time. do you ever take a break from school?” 

“it wasn’t for school, but yes, i take breaks. just the other day i walked up to the astronomy tower just to look at the stars, that wasn’t for school, just for fun!” you reply. felix’s eyes widen at your statement. 

“really y/n? that’s your idea of fun?” he questions, shaking his head when you nod. “you need to get out more; i mean there’s nothing wrong with stargazing, but you could definitely use a little more excitement in your life. me and my friends are going to hogsmeade this weekend, you should come with us!!” he says excitedly. you don’t say anything, but you eye felix suspiciously. why on earth would he invite you, when you (admittedly) have been super rude to him? 

“....okay, fine,” you find yourself agreeing—you aren’t quite sure if they’re your words or if someone put you under the imperius curse to say them, because why would you agree to spending a day with felix, your sworn enemy? 

“wait, really? not gonna lie, i was expecting you to say no. well that’s good, i was gonna bribe you with chocolate frogs, but i gu—“

“i’ll still take the chocolate frogs,” you say, and you find yourself actually smiling at felix. he smiles back, but you see his smile falter slightly and his brows furrow in confusion. 

“i thought you were a ravenclaw,” he says, gesturing to your scarf. 

“oh i am, this is chan’s,” you mention casually. you look down at the scarf (you’d forgotten you borrowed it, to be honest), and in doing so you miss the way felix’s face falls. “i forgot to give it back.”

“oh...uh, is he, um, are you, you know….like, together?” felix asks, and the question really throws you off. you almost laugh out loud at the absurdity. 

“what?? oh my god—no. definitely not. i love chan, but..no. he’s just my best friend,” you say, and you can practically see the relief wash over felix. 

“ah okay, just curious,” felix says, laughing nervously. you continue walking across the grounds, almost back at the castle now. you’re still keeping your distance, but you’re no longer walking on the opposite edge of the path as felix. maybe he’s not so awful; it’s not his fault he’s better than me….no, what am i thinking? i still need to find out how he does so well. he’s perfect in school, he’s somehow amazing at quidditch, and he’s also gifted with those looks?? something doesn’t add up, you think to yourself. 

“felix!! i caught the snitch!” an excited voice yells from behind you. you and felix both turn to see jeongin sprinting down the path, grinning ear to ear. 

“yes!! good job out there, innie,” felix says as he beams at the younger boy, and you melt a little at the sight. “i’ll see you in class tomorrow y/n!” felix says, waving as he and jeongin head to the hufflepuff common room, leaving you to question what the strange bubbly feeling in your stomach is. 

[click here for part ii!]

[harushururu]

yearly fun artsy things. General art of 2019. uhhhhhh kakerus of 2019.... AND THEN MY ART THROUGH THE DECADE.

I talked a bit more over on the twitter post but my art from 2010-2019 has definitely been wild, mostly because I just drew in so many different styles and just did whatever the heck i wanted. i think i started posting on here around 2012 so you could probably go back and find a bunch of cursed art if you dig deep enough. It’s pretty interesting to see how much my art has changed how many different ways ive drawn, colored did stuff traditionally and digitally. Its been an interesting 10 years of art. I hope the next 10 are just as exciting.

[umamunandar]

Review #4: The Illuminae Files (4.8/5)

So by this point, you should be familiar to my taste in movies and books. I mean with the lack of romance and teen fiction you see and the excessive amount of fantasy and sci-fi reviews I’ve written, you might realise that I have a thing for dystopian, sci-fi, and apocalyptic stuff.

If you’re also a dystopian geek like me, then you must have heard of Illuminae, the novel written by Amie Faufman and Jay Kristoff, which then got illustrated by Marie Lu, author of Warcross and Legend for the second book, Gemina. You might’ve heard of it’s great story, or maybe, like me, you were first introduced to its unique writing format

and i mean very unique format. (Every part I just showed belongs completely to Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff, of course I’m just out here throwing these pages to you so you know what I’m talking about)

Most books get very famous quickly because the themes they offer in the books, how great the storyline is. Some are popular only because the author that wrote it has a reputation for writing super famous and the readers just want to read more of their works.

But a book famous for its writing format is unheard of for me. Illuminae was the first what, novel (?) that succeeded in telling the readers a story about the destruction of a colony, and a galactic adventure just from files they retrieved from the computers used by the characters for data processing, storage, communication, and everything else you can do with a computer by the year 2575.

The year is 2575, and two rival mega-corporations are at war over a planet that’s a little more than an ice-covered speck. Now, with enemy fire raining down on them, exes Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to escape on the evacuating fleet.

But their problems are just the beginning. The fleet’s AI has gone crazy, a deadly plague has broken out on one of the ships, and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on.

As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it’s clear only one person can help her: the ex boyfriend she swore she’d never speak to again.

First, let me start with a short recap of my own.

29th of January, 2575, Kady Grant had broken up with her boyfriend, Ezra Mason. But later that day, her planet’s mining company’s rival company decided that it was a great day to attack the planet (Kerenza IV) and its inhabitants. Kady and Ezra managed to escape to two of the three ships used to transport and evacuate the Kerenza refugees. Ezra was taken to the Alexander, as he was badly injured, and Kady was taken to the Hypatia, a science vessel that happened to be orbiting Kerenza during the attack. The last ship was the Copernicus.

Everyone on board were tested to see their potential, since the fleet were understaffed. Ezra passed as a pilot, and Kady, bless her genius mind, decided that it was best to not show he full potential during the test. Not receiving the role of anything, she befriended a CommTech from the Hypatia, and became a hacker, determined to just find out what’s going on. Nobody who knew the truth would tell anyone the truth and Kady was only eager to find out.

The story was told by emails, chat boxes, documents, security camera footage, even information from the Alexander’s AI, which was pretty much messed up due to the attack at Kerenza, but was still functioning enough to tell a story, nevertheless. The second book got an illustrator, Marie Lu, the same person who wrote Warcross and Legend, and the content source didn’t just come from computers anymore. By Gemina, the information that led readers through the story was also gained from Hanna Donnelly—the story’s female lead’s personal journal, hand drawn, not soft copy from a computer. 

Personally, Illuminae was the first story that brought me to loving sci-fi slash dystopian slash apocalyptic novels. I was always a fantasy geek, thanks to Harry Potter and Wildwood. Kingdoms, princesses in pretty dresses, or magic, they were always closer to me than spaceships, AI, and intergalactic war, but Illuminae completely changed my mind. I was even surprised when I found myself buying a handful of dystopian novels during a book fair the other day. They were just really fun to read.

Oh but you know what else is fun? Guessing which cuss word the characters in the books used. Sure, the story was told through files, which means some were formal documents like reports and formal emails, but remember that there are also chat boxes and the informal emails sent from one refugee to the other as a form of communication to ask how they were doing and whatnot. Cussing and slang were used constantly in the book, but because they were compiled and as I quote, ‘sent’ as a formal file, the cursing had to be censored and blocked. It was still fun to guess the words they used anyway.

Writing this review, I had already read Gemina, and Obsidio was being shipped to my house, so yes, I really love this trilogy.

I’d love to get into more depth about the two books, but since nearly every page is filled with action, I can’t really write a spoiler-free review with it so let’s get to the positive points and negative points of the book,

Pros:

The book, as we all know and as I have mentioned for the fifth time now is formatted like emails, chat boxes, documents, and literally every other thing you can extract from a computer by the year 2575. Despite all three books being thicker than 500 pages, some of the pages aren’t even full pages, and you can read them in under one minute, even for a slow reader. Some examples:

Countdown pages

Those pages when something dramatic happens, like the description of missiles travelling through the space between two ships

In Gemina (and possibly Obsidio), some pages from Hanna Donnelly’s personal journal were incorporated in the files, the second Illuminae Files. But unlike Kady who prefers writing (or typing) her thoughts and securing them with a handful of layers of security and passwords, Hanna draws hers, and they didn’t take that long to read either.

‘The pattern is always the same’

‘White light’

And everything else

I know Illuminae was my first ever sci-fi dystopian novel, but I’ve consulted a few people on the matter, and I found out that the story the series offered is a good one on its own, even without the dramatic effect. So yes, one of the pros is that it actually offers a good story. You never know what’s going to happen next. It’s like say, you just got over a dramatic point in one of the books, and suddenly the document in the next page is a bloody medical report that tells you something is up.

Another plus point would be how the events in the books are so well described, despite there being no actual description done in the books except for those surveillance camera transcripts. We don’t even know Kady and Ezra’s specific physical appearances, just the fact that Kady has pink hair and Ezra is a pretty much a teen fiction novel average golden boy, unlike Hanna and Nik who’s illustrations we see from again, Hanna’s journal in Gemina.

Cons:

We should all put this fact in consideration, that the book is not meant to tell a story from a formal standpoint. Like I said, cussing is used in nearly every page of the book, though it’s censored. Mildly explicit jokes and references were also used in the book, though no actual harm is done. Then again, I’m not against this or anything, in fact, it brings an essence to the story, but some people (*cough* boomers*cough*) might not be comfortable with it.

Personally, I’m not fond of thick books. Four hundred pages is a workload for me. I was suffering throughout the Order of the Phoenix. Don’t like thick books? Illuminae isn’t for you. All three books had like, five hundred or so pages. I know I said it was told through a less boring format for a novel, and the story is good, but you still have to read. It’s a relief I made it through both Illuminae and Gemina, there’s a possibility I might drop Obsidio and leave it to rot before reaching the three-hundredth page. Though, there is a solution to this. You can buy the audiobook instead. I heard they did a good job with it, with great casts too.

Aaand, I think that’s about it. There’s really not much I can say about the story without giving away spoilers, and since I’m dedicated to make this a spoiler-free blog, I think it’s best you buy the book if you’re interested in the story of Kady, Ezra, Hanna, Nik, and two more characters I’m not supposed to tell you about because it’s technically a spoiler (?) from Obsidio.

I’m open for any discussion too! Just, don’t tell me anything about Obsidio just yet, I’m expecting the copy this week. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@thecicadasong yeah i havent actually had like, Anons trying to get fresh w/ me about what i Should be drawing (i think ive gotten anon hate like, twice? once for passing along a tweet abt respecting homeless people, another time i have No idea why they were trying to roast me but they were also...weirdly bad at it) but the very rare occasions someone’s tried to tell me i should be drawing different stuff for whatever reason Stick With Me b/c i’m often still steamed abt shit that mightve happened years back but it was THAT annoying lmfao & i reaaally hate when ppl get patronizing &/or when i can tell they’re acting like whatever angle they’re taking is going over my head or they think i’m clueless & i can’t even tell they see me that way lol and i’m like, oh my god i mean it doesn’t make me concerned if i Only Appreciate Boys b/c they’re mostly who i draw b/c yknow......my drawing corner is some rando over here just entertaining myself & Xpressing myself. and a real limited amt of my Interests = the ones im able/interested enough in to draw, & then i tend to wanna draw them a million times lmao....it’s not necessarily the One Unfiltered Reflection of all my interests and all the characters i like, cuz it’s not the only way i think abt shit and express things, & if somebody thinks that my Portfolio not being >50% Girls means that it’s b/c i’ve totally hated girls all along.....that’d be their prerogative i guess. also good lord but that’d be a bad litmus test anyways like.......alllll the misogynist dude artists who draw plenty of ~female characters~ like Yikes City ahhhhh god thats such a fucking cursed realm like. the people so sexist they should be banned from depicting girls and women in any medium. and banned in general God Anyways And Yeah like. the terrible relationships thing too.........like really, this is what you think is appealing???? its too clear sometimes when some man writing this kind of stuff has NO real idea how to think of a woman as an actual person and if they’re trying to write from that perspective it’s like “oh, let’s throw in a ‘smh boys are so stupid and sexist’ thought to realistically depict what it must be like to experience misogyny” and “something about a bra idk” and then call it a day, and if they’re trying to write Romance it’s just like....this Incredible Love that’s truly out of nowhere and they never bother explaining what sustains this, or they decide that the reason bitches liked pride & prejudice is totally because she thought he was a jerk and they fought but then it was like wait nvm we’re in love, right?? and they make that into like, some dude being able to be a total asshole and a really detrimental force in some girl’s life and somehow this Intensity can just be translated into Romantic Intensity no problem, it’s fine that like, they’re not even friends and who knows how to believe they can just get along in regular life and the guy is probably super disrespectful and diminishes her but whatever its fine All Of This And More.....there are so many terrible and annoying ways they do m/f relationships and it’s Really easy to just make it decently written!!! i mean of course sometimes there’s m/f ships that i think are tolerably written and i don’t hate it but also don’t particularly care one way or another but a small / hetero-leaning fandom will like Never Shut Up About It and it’s like ok please shut up about it......i mean really i definitely don’t ever go into any new piece of media expecting to give a shit about any Guy Girl couple. it was a pleasant but total surprise that i really like jeremy/christine (which is not me disavowing the nb lesbian jeremy hc by any means lol) and it was NOT complicated why!!! really in fact a couple of the biggest reasons i found it Especially Good is like, ten seconds in total lmao and it’s “jeremy and christine cracking up by squawking at each other on the couch” and “jeremy doing that Ecstatic Stimming Twirl after kissing christine for 0.003 seconds” lmao.....like!!!! consider showing that the characters can actually have genuine fun interacting with each other for longer than five seconds!!!! give us a single reason why they’d be drawn to each other As People!!! it’s notttt thaaaat harrrrrd aaaaaaaaaA THE WEIRD CHARACTERS yeah i love a true Quirky character and not in the like.....bad clichéd quirky way but like. just someone who’s weird!! the nerdy awkward guys who manifest this by like....maybe being a tiny bit socially clumsy are like, boring and whatever a dime a dozen. but when people are funky and in a sort of fun way and it’s genuinely part of how they interact with others....it’s real relatable lmao i don’t have any very Weird Persona at this point but back in the day i did a bit moreso b/c like, firstly interacting w ppl tended to make me Nervous so it’s like ah hell i’ll do a bit. and then also there’s the classic “well i have this Weirdness abt me that i can’t turn off that ppl seem to dislike, so i’ll put on this extra layer of weirdness that i can try to be vaguely entertaining with.” and then you aren’t popular at all still lol but at least you’ve got your niche amongst whoever does actually like you.....Weird Quirky Guys characters are fun and like, it’s funny that nato of the black suits is Like That in terms of being a lil weirdo who just kind of does his thing in his corner and might Say Something About Anything Apropos Of Nothing as his conversational style and he’s apparently that superlative student type but doesnt seem to actually give a shit and just has his specific interest and depression.......it’s like oh jeez!!! relatable lmao!!! everyone who has a kind of Veneer of communicating a bit erratically and maybe just always throwing out random shit when interacting with others to hope something sticks......but also the strangeness doesn’t even have to be at all performative b/c it’s rarer but super fun when there’s characters who do have that kind of more inherent weirdness that they can’t turn off that really puts people off despite like....them not really doing anything lol....now THAT’S what i call A Timeless Mood it’s funny lmao like i totally have clear Character Types and i always go for those ppl on the same general wavelength as me but it can be a bit Unpredictable and nuanced which ones will actually be adopted into the faves category......like naturally i go for the un-cool passionate excitable types but if someone’s real like, mad energetic or demanding/loud im like oops you lost me. i like people who like to / want to Socialize / have relationships but sometimes if they’re too outgoing / have that natural success at it all / are obv free of anxiety im like, again, you’ve lost me. you truly never know!! only the Most relatable can survive!! one that might seem like they should be a fave on paper might super annoy me lol or just generate Zero interest.......it’s nice to be surprised by which characters really strike a chord lol

[reptileshrine]

Top 25 Albums of 2018

As usual, compiling my top albums of the year has been a compelling, exhausting experience, having taken me an actual month of consternation, tweaking, writing, re-tweaking, deleting, and shifting. Too. Much. Good. Music. Even though every year is pretty hard I have to say that, despite my Number 1, which cemented itself relatively quickly and didn’t move despite the competition, choosing a short-list and ranking just a few of the phenomenal albums from this year was more of an impossible task than usual. But here it is, finally. With actual words, albeit the same few adjectives cycled over enough times to amply demonstrate my dwindling vocabulary and ability to use it. Spoiler alert; There is no Mopok, no Spectral Wound, no Andeis, no Panphage, no Sargeist, no Atra Mors, no Forest of Stars, no Paara, no Angantyr, no Moenen Of Xezbeth, among many many others. They could all have been there at some point, but at the time of committing this to the web, they are not. What this list is, is a rank of the albums which I have obsessed over the most, have affected me the deepest, have been turned up loudest on my stereo, and that I feel have pushed black metal into some interesting, transcendent or subversive directions. Behold! My favourite albums of 2018. 25. Make a Change Kill Yourself – IV Cursed Records This is a true masterclass in DSBM. Inspired composition and wretched, grey pall of an atmosphere, that still harbours a sense of hope, albeit an uneasy, precarious one which could drop into a pit of darkness any moment. The wait for new material from this project was well rewarded. (also worth noting how great the Angantyr album was too, but it’s not in my list).

IV by Make a Change... Kill Yourself

24. Majestic Mass - Savage Empire of Death Self-Released / Caligari Cool raggedy stuff that sounds like it’s about to come apart at the seams. I love the cooly melodic garagey rock n roll swagger slung underneath the fuzz. GREAT organ flourishes too. One of my most played albums of the year by far.

Savage Empire of Death by Majestic Mass

23. Everything by Harpag Karnik Erancnoir – Wintermonarchie / Frostfallen / Erancnoir Etheraldine – Shapes of Emerald / Euphony of Heralds / An Eyrie for Serenity Forelunar - Wine and the Limerent Self-Released These three projects offer different rays of light from the prism of Iranian Harpag Karnik. Each is a separate vision of atmospheric post-black metal; Erancnoir the most desolate, Etheraldine the most lush, and Forelunar for conveying deep emotions. Most of these releases are eps featuring two long 10+ minute tracks, which give ample time for the music to soak into you, set a scene and extrapolate their vocative and enchanting motifs.

Frostfallen by Erancnoir

An Eyrie for Serenity by Etheraldine

Wine and the Limerent by Forelunar

22. Enscelados - The Unbeknownst Tyrant Self-Released This mysterious band consists of two un-named international members (though one may possibly be based in Iran, as Harpag Karnik mixed them). They released two pieces in 2018, both one track, with this, the second release, expanding on the intent of the first. The twenty-minute piece uncoils a mobius strip of cosmically fluctuating trance, with a hypnotic beat and swaying riff that locks in for pretty much the full length, save for a small eddy of ambience. A singular vision that is immensely effective.

The Unbeknownst Tyrant by Enscelados

21. Schrat – Alptraumgänger Folter Records Primo old-school. Blistering pace and savage aggression offset by symphonic elements. Smells like 1995, and probably another one that should lead me back to Emperor. I hear some Sons of Northern Darkness in this one too. A+ artwork on this one as well. Love a good moonlit ritual in the forest.

Alptraumgänger by SCHRAT

20. Akitsa – Credo Profound Lore One of my favourite bands that hasn’t released an album that I completely love has just managed to do so (Ash Pool split not withstanding). This has the rawness, the aggression, the wildness and chaos, and the ferocious rocking riffs that have appeared sporadically across all their previous albums, but Credo has all those best bits channelled into a whole album.

Credo by AKITSA

19. Craft – White Noise and Black Metal Season of Mist The stunning return of an old band to a new form. The raging nihilism and wild chaos of previous releases was smoothed right down to a clear sheen for an album almost ironically called White Noise. But it is a surface sheen. Below it lies the same seething violence as before, made arguably more intense by the constraints of the cleanliness. Every song is packing dangerously sharp riffs, delivered with a psychotically dead-eyed precision and coolness that makes for an intimidating experience.

White Noise and Black Metal by Craft

18. Vilkacis – Beyond the Mortal Gate Psychic Violence Feral, raw atmospheric, melodic primal black metal with a spiritual theme, from the visionary M. Rekevics. A torrent of euphoric anguish that feels like a cathartic expulsion of squalid bitterness. Comparisons can be made to related USBM bands Fell Voices and Ash Borer for their strung-out electrically charged atmospheres, while simultaneously channelling the more abrupt aggression of Vrasubatlat bands.

Beyond the Mortal Gate by VILKACIS

17. Knokkelklang - Jeg Begraver Terratur Possessions Elevated blackened trance with a liquid ambient outro. The tone and layers of sheet noise riffs verge on DSBM, but there is a buoyancy to the rhythm and a cosmically searching direction that keeps this album cerebral.

Jeg Begraver by Knokkelklang

16. Urfaust – The Constellatory Practice Ván Records Otherworldly transcendental occult music, from these masters of a form of atmospherics which has always dwelt in a liminal space between doom, BM, and the greyed industrial rock of post-70’s UK; it is highly atmospheric, but of a form well outside the more popular Burzum riff-styled post-metal inspired atmoblack. My favourite release of theirs since Drei Rituale Jenseits des Kosmos.

The Constellatory Practice by Urfaust

15. Selvans – Faunalia AvantGarde Music My expectations were high for this, given Lupercalia was one of my favourite albums of 2015. Three years later, Selvans surpass that achievement with this gothically toned, medieval opus that has outshone the similarly ambitious Forest of Stars album for me, in the grand blackened-classical-concept album stakes. Faunalia is grandiose, but never overblown, trip through a stunningly complex yet coherent tapestry, woven with acoustic folk instruments, woodwind, strings, layers of vocals plus primal pagan black metal aggression to bind it together.

Faunalia by Selvans

14. Thy Dying Light – Forgotten By Time Death Kvlt Productions My introduction to Death Kvlt and the work of Azrael and Hrafn’s many bands. Forgotten by Time is a compilation of previous releases but makes for a cohesive album in its own right, mixing several styles of raw old-school black metal, and a dungeon black ambience to arresting effect. It starts off in spitefully violent fashion, and compels to the end.

Forgotten By Time by Thy Dying Light

13. Délétère - De Horae Leprae Sepulchral Productions This Québécois band, whose line-up features Atheos from the infamous Foretresse and Monarque, tells the conceptual story of a leper destined to become a Plague prophet of Centipèdes. It does so through raw, melodic, orthodox black metal in a style which flashes glimpses of Csejthe, Horna, and of course Fortresse. The opening series of gothic organ riffs is obliterated by a thundercrack of guitar which ushers in over an hour of epic rush. The speed and density of the drums and riffing could potentially be very claustrophobic, but each track finds space to expand and develop into passages of rage, elation, hysteria, heroism, and fevered mania. So yes, the concept works, and in Atrum Lilium might just offer my favourite song of the year.

12. Acathexis - Acathexis Fallen Empire / Entropic Recordings A fitting end to a stellar run of albums this year from Fallen Empire, whose shuttering will leave a black hole that is unlikely to be filled in the same way. December’s swansong releases gave us the immense Death Fortress (somehow not in this list), Lubbert Das (waaaait for it), the dissonant Guðveiki and Serpent Column, and this; Acathexis. An album by a band curated by Fallen Empire itself, who played Déhà’s demos to Jacob Buczarski (Mare Cognitum), and then to vocalist Dany Tee (Downfall of Nur). A supergroup was born, and a stunning album of emotionally arresting, nuanced, inspired atmospheric black metal has been created. The guitar composition is sublime, drawing from every corner of the black metal spectrum, underpinned, pushed and pulled by Jacob’s excellent drum work; the instrumentals given life, death, elation and despair through the incredible range of vocal performances from Dany Tee.

Acathexis by Acathexis

11. Adaestuo - Krew Za Krew World Terror Committee The band comprises three members; Hekte Zaren providing vocals, multi-instrumentalists P.E. Packain / Vainaja (of Horna, Saturnian Mist, Neutron Hammer, Sargeist) and VJS (also Sargeist, Nightbringer, Kult ov Azazel) – their credentials are cosmic, and that is spretty much where they keep the tone of this album. The majority of it is ritual dark ambient and drone, spiked with three explosive black metal tracks. More than just a black metal album, this is alternate devotional, ritual offering and violent ordained execution.

Krew Za Krew by Adaestuo

10. Alkymist – Spellcraft Ceremony Self-Released/Vinyl-Compvlsion Ritualistic occult atmospheric black metal is the sub-sub-sub genre of bm that I am drawn to, though even then there are different versions of it. In his Alkymist guise, Noctis, aka Adrien Bloß, draws on sinuous repetition and the flickering shadows of candlelight to convey the ceremonial ambience while summoning the night terrors.

Spellcraft Ceremony by Alkymist (CAN)

9. Wayfarer – World’s Blood Profound Lore This album is deep, and seems to have been a bit of a sleeper hit. Took me several listens to fully appreciate the scope and detail of the landscape portrayed across the five tracks. An evocative, moody ride under huge thunderheads brewing over ominously desolate plains. Indeed, one track is even titled On Horseback They Carried Thunder. There is an atmosphere pregnant with danger, pressure building in the air of scratchy guitar melodies as lightning forms in the clouds of bass-lines, both instruments occasionally striking out with lightning flourishes. The whole album is underpinned and accentuated by a parched drum sound that often mimics the galloping of hooves and swirling eddies of dust. The blackened silhouette of a lone rider against muted browns sets an accurate tone for the sound of the album, which absolutely succeeds in expressing the scale and history of the wild Western US.

World's Blood by WAYFARER

8. Kriegsmaschine – Apocalypticists No Solace Everyone talks about the drumming, and yes Darkside has unparalleled visionary technique, but it is what the guitars are doing at the same time that brings out the full effect of them. They remind me of Joy Division with their combination of industrialised urban paranoia, existential dread and hostility, set to rhythmic piston percussion, droning trance guitars, and a raw vocal performance. Both strings and skins complementing each other in a minimal/maximal relationship which results in one of the most captivating and unique experiences in black metal.

Apocalypticists by Kriegsmaschine

7. Everything released by the ПРАВА Коллектив Fallen Empire Records, Amor Fati Productions, and Underground Soundscapes That’s the Prava Kollektiv, currently consisting of four projects: Arkhtinn, Mahr, Voidsphere, and HWWAUOCH with five releases between them in 2018. A group of musicians from somewhere in the world, possibly Russia judging by the Cyrillic they write their name in, and fallen Empire describing them as being “from the North”, but then again, possibly not, since Arkhtinn’s full album is titled in Japanese. Over five years after Arkhtinn’s first demo, they have done well to remain unmasked. Mysterious background aside, the music offers its own open interpretations. Arkhtinn have been putting out two-track demos with one fizzing, burning raw cosmic emission backed with a skein of dark ambient. On their album, they went for the double buzz and gave us two ferocious celestial slices of galactic trance. And where they look up, Mahr’s Antelux album tore it all down, using a similar template of pulsing starfire, grounding it in an earthier, more aggressive, primal, chaotic fashion. Voidsphere made their second offering of To Await | To Expect; two elevated tracks of disintegrating cosmic blackness, channeling all the blackened reverberating energies they could summon from the infinite void, and HWWAUOCH did their full-cap moniker justice by tearing out an Icelandic-style album of howling dissonance.

最初の災害 by Arkhtinn

Antelux by Mahr

To Await | To Expect by Voidsphere

HWWAUOCH by HWWAUOCH

6. Everything released by Haraesis Noviomagi A label that houses one of the most progressive, creative and consistent collectives of musicians operating in the black metal sphere, revolving around O, who runs the label and threads all bands together. He put out six releases this year, featuring each band from their roster plus a guest, and all releases are boundary pushing, third-eye opening mutations of the cosmic black metal order: De Ontkoppeling – De Ontkoppeling The only non-metal album from the collective, but still pitch-black in substance, delivering subterranean bass noise, squalid dark ambient feedback and disintegrating electronics.

Solar Temple – Fertile Descent M. and O. put out their second release as Solar Temple, and it was another blackened helix of coruscating trance.

Fertile Descent by SOLAR TEMPLE

Iskandr – Euprosopon O’s solo project, deals with more rural, pagan themes, influenced by early Enslaved with lyrics addressing his homelands and geopsychology of living through particular environments. Possibly the most traditional sounding black metal of all HN releases, it is also the most radical departure from the core locked-groove hypnotics the rest of the bands channel.

Euprosopon by ISKANDR

Fluisteraars / Turia Split – De Oord Fluisteraars is O, A, and B, and this release is another milestone in their catalogue. Building from a subtle post-black beginning, it soon mutates into the most sublime, elegant, and euphoric astral-black. This stratospheric track is backed with the dank fetid claustrophobia of Turia (a three piece of O., J. and T). A gnarly, gut-churning contrast.

De Oord by FLUISTERAARS & TURIA

Vilkacis / Turia Split - Untitled The one was a co-release with Psychic Violence, borrowing Mike Rekevics’ Vilkacis from their roster to lay down two tracks which manage to best everything on his full album. Throw this into the tub when Final March Into Flame peaks. And again, Turia are on point, this time with an exotic dirge, as faintly eastern melodies judder out of the overblown amps and bind the clattering drum disintegration together.

VILKACIS / TURIA SPLIT by VILKACIS

Lubbert Das – De Plagen And finally, to Lubbert Das, comprised of O. J. and R. Shimmering sheets of guitars bend with a woozy unease, eerie melodies stalk the foreground, and drums switch from pounding to sparse punky rhythms. This cataclysmically raw, primeval darkened churn may almost be the perfect distillation of all other bands from this collective.

De Plagen by Lubbert Das

5. Candelabrum – Portals https://youtu.be/NZZIUD-CSrQ Black Cilice side-project that is as lo-fi as the main band, but less caustic. Mournful melodies are buried beneath a miasma of ritualisic occult noise. Here starts a theme for my favoured sound of 2018. One which has always fermented in the dankest corners of black metal, but bloomed in the most virulent manner throughout last year.

4. Pa Vesh En – Church of Bones Iron Bonehead Productions So, the bloom spreads. Pa Vesh En put out a couple of releases this year, peaking with the sepulchral aural torture of Church of Bones. A pestilent miasma of putrid organ drone, petrified, mournful shrieks, ghastly voice and haunted melodies. It drags atmosphere out the air, grinds it through the earth to suffocate in the airless underground, mummifying this spectral black metal in a cloak of oppressive dirt.

Pa Vesh En - Church of Bones by Iron Bonehead Productions

3. VOËMMR - Sombr Moebrd Signal Rex Blood-curdling, ritualistic old-school crypt-dwelling misfit music of a macabre magick. The lugubrious, sickly swirl of organ a nightmarish carousel ride, spinning into giddiness. That sound of that thing is right up there, leading the dance of the raw drum pulse, waltzing a deliriously contorted path through the candlelight. This album is a constant shimmer of heady reverie, but twisted as fuck, and all the more sinister for the calculated way in which it spools out its gnashing chaos.

Sombr Moebrd by VOËMMR

2. Degredo - Noite dos Tempos Signal Rex The deepest, most far-reaching, umbral, otherworldly, conjuration of the year, and one which I cannot really describe any better than whoever writes the blurbs for the Signal Rex releases. They nail those descriptions every time, but I will try in my own words to describe this rawest of shamanist occult from the collective which I think is currently pushing black metal to its furthest limits; the Aldebraan Circle. Corrupting black metal’s traditional chaotic fury into a subducted trench of lightless trance, Degredo crystalise the primitive momentum of the genre into paranoid fractal patterns of static blackness, and slowly the throbbing sepulchral hypnagogia of this album falls upon the listener. Once the drum beat builds up the world stand still, and the walls move in. The riffs bear resemblance to the slow-motion dirge of SunnO))), but this album stands far out on its own, way down a disorienting hall of mirrors, and out of reach of most listeners. Paralysis. Claustrophobia. Tunnel vision. Darkness. Then clarity, elevation and revelation through staring into this black flame.

A Noite dos Tempos by Degredo

1. Över - Facing Transcendence AvantGarde Music Out of the darkness and into the light. A light of sorts. Overall, one of the less oppressive albums in my list, but certainly the most overwhelming. Mr Þórir Nyss has graced us with several albums from several projects this year, from ethereal post-black atmospherics to unruly, disturbing disharmonic noise. With Över, he and Malduchryst incorporate these elements, along with overt rock, squealing lead solos, doomy lurching, and passages of pure savage black metal to emotionally stupefying effect. The composition of this album is stunning, each track developing in a way which transcends genre limitations and defies your expectations. Take the watery introduction of Will that bleeds into a slow dirgy distorted riff. It picks up into hammering drums, juxtaposed by a twinkling keyboard motif. It slowly builds more intensity into each passage, introduces a lowing operatic clean vocal and the riffing intensifies until it peaks with (one of several) anthemic riffs. The euphoric surge of Över is Transcendence and how the astral elegance of that track is dismembered by a guttural riff and degraded into boiling noise. The liquid ambient riff of following track Owner and Slave that bursts into furious slashing riff and vicious snarl vocal, its proclamation of self-immolation and the subsequent life-loosening drift into harmonic solo and all-consuming climax. Just some of the many moments in this album that kept me coming back to it with obsessive regularity.

Facing Transcendence by Över

[wayward-eclectic]

🌛100 + Tips for Witchlings and Secret Witches🌜

Before we get into the tips, I want to thank you guys for the five hundred new follows over the past week! That’s crazy to me but I am so appreciative for all 3,500+ of you! Without me getting too mushy, here’s what you came for: 

1.       Portable Altars: http://stellawitchcraft.tumblr.com/post/153183600818/ive-been-meaning-to-make-some-kind-of-portable (I loved this when I saw it so I wanted to share it!

2.       Google docs for BoS to not be found

3.       Kitchen witchery – incorporate spells into your cooking, draw sigils in your tea, etc

4.       Use the stones in jewelry if a collection would be suspicious

5.       Online books as well as apps for your phone

6.       Disguise your BoS as a journal/ keep it in a notebook

7.       Use a bath for scrying

8.       Use shower time to cleanse spiritually and recharge as well as physical cleansing

9.       Shufflemancy with spotify playlists for divination

10.   Tea light candles can be a replacement for actual candles if you’re in a dorm or can’t light candles

11.   Meditation is discreate!

12.   A ring on a necklace, any kind of necklace really can be used as a pendulum.

13.   Moon correspondences for cleansings!

14.   Incorporate corresponding colors into your wardrobe for intent

15.   Charge jewelry with intent to wear

16.   Online tarot cards can work just as well in a pinch

17.   While color correspondence is preferred for candles, use what you have!

18.   Pocket notebooks are easily hidden in your bags or pockets

19.   Take up crocheting or knitting for knotwork

20.   Whistle up a wind

21.   Collect rain water/ storm water for spells and store it in a water bottle or perfume bottle

22.   Use the ashes from incense as black salt

23.   Coffee filters are biodegradable! (please don’t bury glass jars)

24.   Dissolve salt in hot water to use instead of salt lines/circles

25.   Use an online altar and your computer/phone has a calendar. IF the moon phases aren’t already there, you can mark them plus create reminders.

26.   Get caught in the rain to cleanse yourself

27.   Most phones have a “notes” where you can keep stuff

28.   Make an alternate email account and email yourself spells and such

29.   Make a private Pinterest board

30.   Bells have been used in witchcraft for years and years, you can cleanse with them, summon, etc

31.   Bathroom mirror after a shower would be great for scrying!

32.   Incorporate sigils and spells into drawings.

33.   Take up gardening

34.   Crayons can burn

35.   Glamour spells can be done on your makeup

36.   Public libraries are always a great place to look for metaphysical books

37.   Use a sideblog to keep spells and such

38.   Project Gutenburg has thousands of free books

39.   Witchipedia is also a great source

40.   Use thread or yarn for knotwork. It can be burnt when finished

41.   Don’t summon anything you can’t get rid of

42.   Research specific paths before committing to make sure it’s to part of a closed culture

43.   Most herbs can be found at your local grocery store

44.   You don’t have to dedicate yourself to just one path

45.   There are so many online communities you can be a part of

46.   Being a solitary witch is a valid choice

47.   There is no right or wrong way to be a witch

48.   You can be a guy and still be a witch

49.   Cursing/hexing does not make you evil

50.   While it’s good to stay in practice, you can take breaks! You don’t have to perform a spell everyday to be a witch

51.   YouTube is full of great witches to watch

52.   There are plenty of witchy podcasts

53.   Research plants before eating them.

54.   Please do not glue rocks to your steering wheel. It’s dangerous if you’re in an accident.

55.   Air fresheners in your car can have sigils drawn on them or just color correspondences

56.   They can be used for protection in general

57.   Hang talismans from your rearview mirror but be careful about sun bleaching

58.   Wicca is not a blanket term

59.   Neither is pagan

60.   Rust can be collected to use in spells

61.   Take a bit of dirt from your school or college for spells for knowledge or luck spells for exams

62.   Sigils in your nail polish

63.   Makeup color correspondences. Just beware that people might look at you funny if you wear green lipstick.

64.   Carve sigils on the bottom of your candles

65.   Post it notes!

66.   Essential oils are an option instead of incense or candles if you can’t burn things

67.   Online sigil maker: http://sigilscribe.me/

68.   Pine Cone Pub: http://www.pinecone.pub/

69.   Avocado pits ward off negativity and apparently the housing market

70.   Research your essential oils because not all are safe to use around pets

71.   Do not leave your herbs laying around if you have pets or children

72.   Crying is alright for cleansing.

73.   Store herbs or a piece of paper in a locket!

74.   Some rings have hidden compartments!

75.   Use your jewelry box as an altar

76.   Lavender in your pillow or pillow case for sleep

77.   Other cards besides tarot cards can be used in divination

78.   Use the sun for charging but again, sun bleaching is a thing!

79.   Not all stones should be cleaned in water, research that.

80.   Not everything you read online is true

81.   Just because you’re a witch doesn’t make you a Satanist despite what the old lady next door says

82.   If you’re not comfortable doing a spell, don’t. It’s okay.

83.   Binding is an alternative to cursing and just as effective.

84.   Media portrayals of magic aren’t always accurate

85.   If you can do literally anything from The Craft, call me. I want in.

86.   Wands aren’t just for Harry Potter

87.   A stick from your backyard can be used as a wand

88.   So can a chopstick and there are great tutorials involving hot glue and paint to personalize them!

89.   Witchcraft does not have to be expensive.

90.   Do not spend money you don’t have for supplies you don’t need

91.   Intent is usually more than enough.

92.   You don’t need that 80 dollar athame when any knife will do. Just cleanse and charge it.

93.   We do not boil babies, infants, children, or people in general

94.   No animal sacrifices. That’s a personal thing, but I insist that you don’t do it.

95.   You don’t have to sell your soul to a crossroads demon. This isn’t Supernatural.

96.   Yes, spirits are real.

97.   Don’t expect sparks and green lights to know that a spell is working

98.   You might not always see your manifestations right away, give it time.

99.   You can use your own pulse to charge your sigils

100.                       100.Your craft is your own and you don’t have to follow anyone else’s path.

Bonus! Shower disks and bath bombs are wonderful! You can also make your own runes: http://www.therunesite.com/making-your-own-rune-set/ or use online runes like I mentioned with tarot cards: https://www.tarot3d.net/tagesrune/en

[rcmuhs]

FROY GUTIERREZ  ——  Well,  if  it  isn’t  REMUS  LUPIN,  the  GRYFFINDOR  superstar.  For  those  of  you  who  don’t  know  HIM,  you  can  spot  them  sitting  with  the  other  SEVENTH  years.  Most  people  think  that  they’re  SELFLESS  and  HUMOROUS,  but  they  can  also  seem  pretty  DISTANT  and  SARCASTIC.  Sometimes  people  call  them  the  INTANGIBLE  CONCEPT.  Sure,  they’re  a  HALFBLOOD (WEREWOLF),  but  that  doesn’t  define  them. 

F A M I L Y.

                 i.  most  people  know  the  story  of  my  boy.  turned  at  the  age  of  four  because  his  father  had  the  unfortunate  ailment  of  being  unable  to  keep  his  mouth  shut.  what  a  stand  up  guy,  amirite     ?

                  ii.  his  parents  tried  their  best  to  adapt     &     understand.  sadly,  as  he  grew  older     &     they  grew  more  tired  of  having  to  take  care  of  him,  they  began  to  see  him  as  more  of  a  burden  than  a  son.  they  would  barely  look  him  in  the  eye  as  he  tried  desperately  to  make  them  smile.  it  wasn’t  until  dumbledore  visited  their  home     &     gave  them  an  out  that  they  finally  felt  hopeful.   they  pretended  to  be  apprehensive,  but  the  looks  of  relief  on  their  faces  were  enough  to  convince  remus  that  they  were  happy  to  be  getting  rid  of   him     (     if  only  temporarily     )     .

                  iii.   following  his  own  coma  as  well  as  the  death  of  addison,  remus     &     his  parents  had  a  fight  that  ended  with  him  joining  james     &     sirius  for  the  rest  of  the  summer.  while  he  hadn’t  planned  on  staying  home  for  his  final  year,  he  at  least  wanted  his  parents  to  be  worried.  he  wanted  them  to  care.  yet  once  again  they  were  all  too  quick  to  send  him  away,  not  the  least  bit  worried  that  he  had  almost  died  the  previous  year. 

                iv.  remus  is  incredibly  poor,  but  people  often  miss  this  fact  as  his  clothing  choices  seem  to  be  more  of  a  statement  than  anything  else.  he  rocks  the  country/indie  folk  look  by  accident  as  most  of  his  clothes  are  wrinkled     &     worn  down. 

H O G W A R T S.

                i.  listen     !     he  loves  the  marauders  more  than  you  could  possibly  imagine.  he  owes  those  boys  everything     &     he  is  constantly  questioning  the  origin  of  their  friendship.  what  exactly  did  he  do  to  have  such  wonderful  people  on  his  side     ?     while  he  wasn’t  meant  to  be  a  troublemaker,  it  seemed  fate  had  other  plans  as  he  found  himself  adapting  to  the  circumstances.  the  once  timid  boy  was  soon  cracking  jokes,  playing  pranks,     &     laughing  at  ridiculous  volumes  with  people  his  parents  might’ve  considered  bad  influences. 

               ii.  he  is  naturally  brilliant  which  is  why  he  does  so  well  in  his  classes.  while  he  can  be  seen  reading  on  occasion,  those  aren’t  school  books  in  his  hand.  he  rarely  studies     &     he  often  shirks  his  academic  responsibilities  in  favor  of  dumb  teenage  boy  bullshit,  but  he  always  seems  to  come  out  on  top  in  regards  to  grades.

              iii.   cats  can’t  stand  him.  it’s  a  shame  too,  seeing  as  he  has  nothing  against  the  little  fur  balls.  that  being  said,  they  normally  hiss  at  him  when  he  is  within  arms  reach.

               iv.   he  has  a  few  tattoos,  his  favorite  being  the  small  black     &     filled-in  dove  located  on  his  middle  finger.  now  when  he  gives  you  the  bird  .  .  .  he’s  really  giving  you  the  bird.  

              v.   he  used  to  date  addison  hatfield;  however,  their  relationship  ended  when  she  accused  him  of  cheating  on  her.  she  claimed  he  would  disappear  at  odd  times      &     she  wouldn’t  know  where  to  find  him.  unbeknownst  to  her,  those  disappearances  were  near      &     during  the  full  moon.  he  admitted  to  seeing  someone  else  in  secret,  ultimately  breaking  her  heart     &     gaining  a  ton  of  new  enemies.  while  he  never  actually  cheated,  he  thought  it  would  be  best  if  she  hated  him  for  a  lie  instead  of  hating  him  for  who  he  really  was.  after  several  months  of  hateful  glances     &    fights,  he  tried  to  apologize  to  her  during  their  trip  to  hogsmeade.  they  were  speaking  in  private  when  the  attack  happened,  leading  them  both  to  being  hospitalized.

              vi.   he  would’ve  died  like  addision  had  he  not  been  a  werewolf.  despite  him  being  in  a  coma,  his  curse  still  activated  during  the  full  moon,  changing  his  body      &     ultimately  healing  his  previous  wounds  the  following  day. 

P O S S I B L E   P L O T S.

ADDISON’S  FRIENDS:  while  she  was  a  year  older  than  him,  she  had  friends  from  all  different  years.  people  loved  her     !     so  as  a  result,  a  few  of  her  friends  might  still  blame  him  for  her  death.  had  he  just  left  her  alone,  she  might’ve  been  returning  to  hogwarts  for  another  year.

THE  MEDIC:  the  healers  do  the  best  they  can  when  it  comes  to  pain  management,  but  sometimes  it  isn’t  enough.  due  to  the  aches  he  feels  leading  up  to     &     following  the  full  moon,  he  made  a  business  deal  with  a  fellow  student.  under  the  guise  of  having  stress  caused  migraines,  the  lion  has  started  to  pay  another  student  for  medicine.  with  what  money     ?     let’s  just  say  people  enjoy  music  performed  on  the  streets     &     they’re  willing  to  toss  a  few  coins  at  the  performer. 

THE  IN-THE-KNOW:  sometimes  you’re  in  the  right  place  at  the  right  time.  this  person  would’ve  unintentionally  come  across  a  payment      &     drop-off  between  remus     &     the  medic.  given  the  angle,  they  could  not  know  who  the  second  person  was;  however,  they  most  definitely  saw  remus     &     the  suspicious  bag  he  walked  off  with. 

THE  SECOND  IN-THE-KNOW:  it  wouldn’t  be  a  complete  shock  if  someone  were  to  figure  out  that  he’s  a  werewolf     !     so  this  person  put  the  pieces  together  before  realizing  his  furry  little  secret. 

THE  CRUSH:  remus  always  had  a  thing  for  this  girl,  perhaps  even  building  up  the  courage  to  ask  her  out  before  addison  approached  him  for  a  date.  despite  nothing  ever  happening  between  the  two,  he  always  enjoyed  her  company     &     repeatedly  found  himself  drawn  to  her.   

tHAT’S ALL I HAVE SO FAR BUT HEY WE CAN COME UP WITH OTHER STUFF OKAY BYE HMU ILY

[breathingwithdifficulty]

im so fucking done of being stuck in the house with my own sister and it’s becoming very clear that her abusive tendencies haven’t really gone away. she has been commenting on what i eat and what i do during the day (which is not a whole lot but... it’s quarantine. sorry for actually listening to social distancing rules unlike everyone in my house and most of the people in my town). she knows im depressed but her constant negativity and criticism isn’t helping. the whole unfairness of our relationship has become really clear. i basically wait on her hand and foot and when i don’t do something she asks of me, she gets pissed and calls me “lame” or berates me like “its not even that hard” or just “seriously? it’ll take two seconds” like damn bitch do it yourself then. im not your servant just because im your nice little sister.

i don’t ever ask anything of her. literally can’t remember the last time i asked her to do anything for me. i only ever tell her to do stuff like “leave me alone” and “stop messing with that” and “please stop, seriously” and “that hurt” (physically or emotionally) and she NEVER i mean NEVER fucking listens. she doesn’t care. she thinks it’s funny to tease me and torment me and irritate me and then blames me for being too sensitive when i finally snap at her because im pissed off. damn, maybe if you weren’t making it hard for me to breathe by suddenly jumping on me and refusing to get up and leave me alone, i wouldn’t have to push you on the floor and yell at you to get out. maybe if you weren’t constantly hypocritical, i wouldn’t be so irritated with you all the time.

we both have to do our homework at home now which isn’t that big of a deal for me since i can focus a lot better than she can and i know that. but she’s so incredibly inconsiderate. she needs complete silence when she’s doing her homework and says it’s distracting for me to even walk past her when she’s working. so i stay silent. i put headphones in to listen to videos or zoom calls and i warn her if i have to record or talk. i try not to get up and get food or use the bathroom too often. im more than considerate.

however, whenever im doing my homework, she’s facetiming her friend, being on zoom calls without headphones and with the volume on high and her talking at full volume (EVEN AFTER i offered her to use my headphones for her calls multiple times because it’s distracting for me and she was like “of course im not gonna use headphones, that would look silly” like bruh) and singing and talking and literally SCREAMING. like wordless, just screaming because she gets frustrated with her work. bro, i get it. but shut the hell up. god, she would kill me if i did some of the things she does to me while she was working. id literally get cursed and yelled at.

she asks me pretty frequently if i think she’s a good person. i think she’s a good person sometimes. i think she’s too sensitive and can’t take any sort of criticism and lashes out at me because she thinks im pretentious and bratty. she’s straight up told me that she used to resent me (starting from when i was literally a BABY) and still kind of does. she says im much better than i used to be. the only reason she thinks that is because i stopped putting up as much of a fight against her. if i ever say something sassy or rude or even just defend myself, she claims im a dickhead brat who’s spoiled and has a bad attitude. really she’s just a sensitive little bitch.

ive lost four pounds in the past couple weeks because ive been eating less by tracking my calories. i haven’t really been eating a whole lot better but i think four pounds is a pretty good start considering how this is the first time ive really tried and committed to losing weight. but even my sister doesn’t think that’s enough.

i eat a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. she walks up and says “you know, a bagel is equal to like 5 slices of bread.” yes i know. you’ve told me already this week. you told me a month ago. you keep telling me. im just trying to eat, dude, back off and stop trying to make me feel bad because im not eating fruit smoothies and salad and avocado toast like you are. i get it, you’re skinny and healthy and like to pretend you don’t know it but you and i both know that you do. call yourself fat all you want, but my friends have literally asked if you’re a model, you have maybe an inch thick of stomach fat, i can feel the bumps of your spine when i touch your back, and i can see your ribs when you stretch your arms up.

she knows it makes me feel bad when she calls herself fat and she does not care in the slightest. she’s like “oh im getting pretty chunky oh boy” and then ill make a comment about feeling fat and she’ll be like “oh you’re not fat” like bruh i know you think you’re chunky and i have a lot more fat than you do don’t lie to me.

she told me it makes her feel worse about her hairline when i comment about how im insecure about mine. so i stopped saying anything about it. i told her it makes me feel bad when she comments on how im not doing basic things right (cutting an apple, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, sweeping. all real examples of things she says im not good at and calls me stupid. how the fuck is someone BAD at sweeping? the floor’s clean now isn’t that what matters?) and she said “well practice makes perfect” and i told her it makes me feel even worse about myself and she was just like “well you don’t know how to clean and you need to learn.”

i know how to clean. ive cleaned my room. ive cleaned the kitchen. ive cleaned our shared bathroom (she came home when i was just finishing up after deep cleaning it and even doing the parts she said she would do because i was just that nice. she immediately criticized me and said i had cleaned with the wrong cleaner and needed to reclean the whole thing again. i said no because that’s ridiculous and it was about to turn into a fight so like the pushy i am i gave in and cleaned. the whole. bathroom. again. but with a different cleaner that wasn’t “greasy” and “only for oil and grease, not bathrooms” and “smelled bad” because that really matters in the long run i guess). i just don’t do it the quickest or maybe the most efficient or the way she would do it but literally WHO CARES. if the floor is swept why does it matter that i didn’t do it as fast as you would. goddamn.

she came into my room while i was drawing on my digital tablet today. i showed her how it worked and everything and she asked to see something that id drawn and i said no (ive never been comfortable showing my art to other people that aren’t strangers online (lol) and she has consistently taken sketchbooks directly from my hands or gone through them when i was in a different room despite me telling her multiple times not to) and she kept asking for a reason and i just said i didn’t want to. she kept interrogating me and i was like “i don’t know what you want me to say” and she was like “i want a logical answer why you won’t show me” and of course i didn’t really have one and so i was just like “i don’t really have one, i just don’t wanna show you because it makes me uncomfortable” and she got pissy and left. fine, leave, don’t want you in here anyways. stop being so offended that you don’t get unfiltered access to everything in my life.

she’s a biology major. im trying to decide on a vague idea for my future major and i can’t remember how it was brought up but i said something about going into STEM and possibly biology and she was like. “aw don’t do that. i mean if it really makes you happy then go ahead but ill be upset and probably a little pissed.” which okay i get that a bit (eh) but ive never even thought about going into bio so she doesn’t have to worry and i told her as much. and then i asked why she wouldn’t want me to and she was like “because everyone knows you’d be better than me at it and i just want to have like... my thing” (i get that too (but maybe if you did your work on time and actually went to class then you’d be better at it. but whatever)) and i said i probably wouldn’t be better but i get that or whatever. and then i think she made a joke and i laughed and she was a few seconds later like “why do you look so smug? like you’re happy about the fact that i think you’re better than me” and i was like “that’s literally not true” and she was like “everyone likes feeling like they’re smart and you feel like you’re better than me and you’re smug about it” (or something like that) and i had to convince her that not i literally do not and am not smug. damn bitch, insecure much? that pissed me off that she would think that low of me to assume that i ENJOYED her insecurities and felt like i was smarter than her. wow. ive told her countless times in depth and with detail that i believe we both have strengths and weakness and neither of us are better than the other, and she still doesn’t believe me. but whatever.

it’s constant, little things like that. ive always managed to let a lot of them slide and that is one of the only reasons she thinks im such a good sister. that and i lie to her a lot about how i feel about her. she says stuff like “im surprised you haven’t killed me in my sleep yet, you’re too good to me, ive been terrible to you” but still continues. but whatever. ive only been waiting for her to move out for four years now, i guess i can wait a few more months (hopefully only that).

she says she’ll get pissed if i don’t call her every week once we aren’t living together and so i say i will but. i don’t want to. i don’t want to tell her about my life and my worried just to have her criticize them or say im being ridiculous. i don’t want to have to live like this forever. im so tired. so so tired.

im not saying it’s all bad. sometimes our donut runs at 2am are nice. and sometimes she is interested in what im doing when no one else is. sometimes, she gives good advice. sometimes we talk for hours on end. she’s one of the first people i go to when im having problems with me my mom. i trust her with somethings. it’s not all bad

but her constant emotional and verbal abuse has shaped me into a scared, pushover little girl with insecurities, trust issues, and guilt. she’s always said i was the favorite and laughs now and says “i think me being mean to you when we were younger was good for you, it too you down a few pegs so now you’re not so spoiled.” it also traumatized me and gave me self esteem issues, but yeah, haha, at least im not a spoiled brat (but to you, i still am, but only when i don’t do what you want or say what you want me to say). thanks for that.

anyways, it’s been a while since ive made a long rant. it’s past 4am and i woke up at 2:30pm today so it’s probably time to sleep and dread waking up in the morning. nice.

4.18.20 4:22AM

[lilacmoon83]

Dreaming Out Loud

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 19: True North

David shifted uncomfortably with the IV's, while Mary fussed over him.

"David please…" she pleaded. He sighed.

"I'm fine...I don't need to stay the night here," he complained.

"You were hurt...please, I'm going to be right here with you," she pleaded.

"You shouldn't have to stay here," he protested.

"Do you really think I'm going anywhere?" she asked rhetorically.

"I almost lost you," she said, choking back a sob. He softened.

"You are not going to lose me, I promise," he whispered. She sniffed and pulled back, as he pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss, just as Emma peaked in.

"Hey...are you up for a couple visitors?" she asked, as their lips parted.

"Always," he said, as she and Henry came in.

"Are you going to be okay, Gr...Mr. Nolan?" he asked worriedly, barely catching himself. David smiled at the boy.

"Yeah, I'm fine kid. Dr. Whale is just making me stay here tonight so he can feel important," David joked and they all chuckled.

"Henry Daniel Mills...we are leaving now," Henry's shoulders slumped, but he turned back.

"I gotta go," he said in disappointment.

"But Archie says Emma's gonna win the election!" he said, as he hurried out.

"Is that true?" Mary asked with hope in her voice.

"It's not official yet, but yeah, I have a pretty significant lead. He also said Wilby's fine and he's coming around. He's going to keep him overnight for us," she answered. Mary jumped up and hugged her.

"Tell him I said thank you," David replied.

"I knew people would make the right decision," Mary said, referring to Emma's victory.

"I could have never done it without both of you," Emma replied.

"So...not to sour the celebration, but is Damon locked up?" David asked. She sighed.

"He will be, but he's in surgery now for that bite on this leg and probably will need more with the burns," she replied.

"Well, this is probably makes me sound like a bad person, but I hope he's in excruciating pain," David said.

"Yeah, no one is shedding any tears over his predicament," Emma replied.

"Trust me...as Sheriff, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Damon goes to jail for this," she added.

"And Albert Spencer will do everything in his power to make sure he walks," Mary muttered and David squeezed her hand.

"Hey...we'll fight him," he assured.

"He's right. In fact, I might be a bit premature on this, but if you really want to join the fight with me, I think I know the perfect way," Emma mentioned.

"How?" he asked.

"Well, I know you have a couple weeks recovery ahead of you, but after that, I'm going to need a deputy and I can think of no one better," Emma replied. Mary smiled and David looked surprised.

"Me? You...want me to be your deputy?" he asked in awe.

"There's no one I'd trust watching my back more than you," Emma replied.

"Me either," Mary agreed, smiling at him.

"Emma...I'd be honored," he answered.

"Good...I'm gonna go grab a coffee. Hot chocolate, Mare?" she asked. The raven haired beauty smiled.

"That would be great. Thanks," she answered.

"Deputy Nolan...I really like the sound of that," Mary purred. He chuckled and laced his fingers with hers ,as Mary leaned down and kissed him tenderly.

Before going to the cafeteria, Emma made a detour and slipped into the recovery room unknowingly. Normally, she tried to operate by the book, but with this guy, all bets were off. To her surprise, the piece of garbage that was the target of her tirade was half awake and still managed to smirk smugly.

"I hear congratulations are in order, Sheriff Swan," he rasped.

"Looks like you made it through surgery," she replied.

"Don't sound so disappointed," he goaded.

"Can't do that, but I can soothe my disappointment by making it my mission to see that you go to prison for a very long time," she retorted, as she cuffed one of his wrists to the bed.

"Kinky...I like that in a woman. I wonder if Mary is as kinky as you," he hissed and Emma responded by smacking a hand down on his tender leg wound. He grimaced and jerked in pain.

"Listen you disgusting pig, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you never get near Mary or David again, even if it means putting you in a body bag. Feel lucky that prison is your alternative," Emma growled, as she removed her hand and stalked out of the room.

The Dreamscape

27 ½ years ago

The dreamscape was an interesting plane of existence. The days weren't as lonely as he knew they eventually would be. Right now, with Emma being a baby, she was with him a few times during the day. He played with her and held her, relishing every moment. In the evenings, they usually awaited Snow in the garden. He always put a blanket down and this night, he watched with great joy, as Emma crawled around, having just learned this skill. She had also long since discovered her voice and babbled in baby speak, as he talked to her. In this strange place, it seemed to know what they needed for all occasions, so Emma always had plenty of toys to play with. At the moment, she became disinterested with her brightly colored blocks and crawled her way over to him. He eagerly picked her up and then stood up, intending to take her for a walk. He walked along the path by the lake and as they usually did, a few ducks and a couple swans appeared, much to Emma's delight.

But they weren't the only thing that appeared. He felt her presence before he saw her and turned, seeing Snow hurrying toward them in a long, flowing white dress. And she was breathtaking to him. He opened his free arm and folded her into his embrace, as their lips met passionately, as they did every night. Then, with great joy, he watched Emma reach for her mother and Snow tearfully took their baby in her arms. The glow in her face was one he would never tire of seeing. Inevitably, he would hold her and let her cry against his chest when Emma awoke before her, leaving them behind. He would soothe his wife as much as he could until she too disappeared from him and he would loathe the solitude until his girls returned to him.

The next day, it was official and Emma was declared the winner of the election. David was discharged from the hospital with explicit instructions of no strenuous activity for a month. He obeyed the doctor's orders, mostly due to Mary's fussing and put in his notice at the shelter.

On the second week, he began light duties at the station, as Emma taught him the ins and outs of the paperwork side of the job. On the third week, she began teaching him to drive and finally during the fourth week, she taught him how to use a firearm. He was learning driving well enough, but as expected, he took to weapons training like second nature.

During that time, Thanksgiving came and went. It was the first holiday Mary Margaret remembered spending with anyone in a very long time. And what started out as just the three of them, grew into a large gathering, including Stephanie, Jefferson, Belle, Gold, Ruby, Granny, Marco and Archie. Even Henry managed to sneak out to the loft for a while since Regina quote "didn't do" Thanksgiving.

The holiday gave way to December and the Christmas season. By that time, Doctor Whale okayed David for full duty and he was officially instated as Deputy, despite Regina's protest. Damon was still in the hospital burn ward, but Emma was fighting to ensure when he walked from the hospital, it was straight into a jail cell.

On David's first week, they caught a case that hit Emma particularly close to home. Two orphans by the name of Ava and Nicholas Zimmer were discovered to be homeless and had been hiding the fact until recently. Emma guessed that they had been technically homeless the entire length of the curse, but now that time was moving again, attention was being drawn to them now. She could relate to their predicament. She had been homeless off and on when she had run away from group homes as a kid and a teen. And then Henry got mixed up with them, which drew Regina's attention.

"Mr. Clark, is Henry okay?" Emma asked. The store owner nodded and she saw her son sitting behind the counter, looking sad and fearful next to the two children he was currently mixed up with.

"He's fine. The other two already admitted that they were using Henry to smuggle this stuff," Mr. Clark said, gesturing to the assortment of prepackaged food on the counter. It took her back to her own past like a gut punch. These weren't just kleptos or spoiled brats, seeing what they could get away with. These were hungry children.

"I'm Sheriff Swan and this is Deputy Nolan. Can you tell me your names?" Emma asked.

"I'm Ava and this is Nicholas. And before you ask about our parents...don't. We don't have any," Ava said.

"Yeah, I guessed that by the food you were trying to take," Emma replied, as they looked at her curiously.

"Mom is dead and we got separated from our Dad," Nicholas blurted out.

"Nicholas…" Ava hissed.

"So...you're Dad might still be around?" Emma asked, as she looked at her son, who nodded.

"Hey kid...why don't you and I talk over here," David gestured, as he pulled Henry aside.

"They're in the book, Gramps," Henry insisted, as he opened it to show him.

"Hansel and Gretel?" he asked. Henry nodded.

"They got separated from their Dad back in the Enchanted Forest, but their Dad is here. I know it," Henry insisted. David put a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay...I believe you. We're going to help them," he assured.

"You know, if you think your father is in town, I'm pretty good at finding people. Do you have something that belonged to him?" Emma asked. The children exchanged a glance and Ava took an object out of her pocket.

"A compass?" Emma asked, as she looked at it and then at her father.

"Gold," he said, as he took it, intending to head to the pawn shop when Regina came storming in.

"Henry Daniel Mills," she said sternly.

"Whoa...take it down a notch, Mayorzilla," Emma said, cutting her off.

"Step aside, Sheriff Swan, while I deal with my son," she snapped.

"Henry didn't mean to steal anything. It was a misunderstanding," David interjected.

"Thank you Deputy, but I already know it was these two urchins that caused all this. Luckily, I've handled the situation," Regina stated. Emma got a bad feeling in her gut at that.

"I've called social services in Boston. Tonight, you'll take these two delinquents to a pair of group homes. All the arraignments are made," Regina stated.

"Wait...a pair of group homes? You're separating them?" David asked.

"The system is overloaded with unwanted urchins, Mr. Nolan. Each home only has so many beds. Miss Swan, you should be familiar with how the system works," she goaded. David clenched his fist and Emma swallowed thickly.

"More than familiar. But we have reason to believe their father is still in town. If we can find him..." Emma said. But she was cut off.

"The decision is final, Miss Swan. Tonight, you'll drive them to Boston," Regina said coldly.

"Henry...let's go," she snapped, as he followed sadly, but not before casting a glance back at them.

"I'll run by Gold's shop and see what he knows," David said.

"Okay...I'll take these two to the diner and get them something to eat," Emma decided, as she noticed her father's troubled gaze on the children.

"Dad…" she said quietly.

"Every time I think about what you went through...I want to put my fist through a wall," he lamented.

"Dad…" she soothed.

"I know, we don't have time for this right now," he replied.

"No, I meant that I know how hard it was for us all to be apart. You and Mom suffered too," she said.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," he said.

"I know and that's one person's fault," she reminded.

"We have to stop her," he said.

"We will," she added, as they parted ways briefly, as David headed to the pawn shop.

"Well...Deputy Chisel Chin," Jefferson joked, as he came in the back way.

"We have a problem," David stated.

"I'm afraid in this town, you'll have to be more specific," Gold replied.

"It's Regina...doing what she does best. Separating children from their parents," he clarified. Jefferson frowned, as a chord was instantly struck in him.

"Do you have names?" Gold asked.

"In this land, they are Ava and Nicholas Zimmer. But in ours, according to Henry, they were Hansel and Gretel. He's sure their father is in town and they had this, which belonged to him," David said, as he put the compass on the counter. Gold started leafing through his records, as David sighed.

"If we can't find him, Regina is going to force Emma to take them to Boston tonight and put them in separate group homes," he added. Jefferson scoffed.

"She's a piece of work. She's never satisfied...she just wants to inflict as much misery as she can," he growled.

"We'll stop her...we have to," David stated, as Gold extracted a card.

"This compass was purchased by Michael Tillman," Gold stated.

"There's no address," David replied.

"No, but Michael Tillman runs the repair garage, just off Main street," Gold replied.

"Thanks," David said, as he hurried out and pulled his phone out to call Emma.

Mary entered the diner that afternoon with Stephanie. She was surprised at how well she and the new teacher hit it off. Before Emma had come along, it seemed that most had always avoided her. She had colleagues and acquaintances, but until Emma, Belle, and Stephanie, Mary had never really had friends. They were already discussing Christmas plans and while Mary had always loved the season, she was absolutely brimming with excitement this year at the prospect of actually having a loft full of friends and spending it with them and her boyfriend.

They ordered hot chocolate with cinnamon and noticed Emma was there in a booth with two children, who were eating hungrily and the blonde waved them over.

"Hey Emma…" Mary greeted, her eyes gesturing to the children.

"Mary, this is Ava and Nicholas Zimmer. I'm helping them out today," Emma said.

"Which is a waste of time. Our Mom is dead and our Dad doesn't want us," Ava added, as she swallowed.

"We don't know that. We'll find him. Why don't you two go ask Granny for refills," Emma suggested, as they went to the counter.

"Emma...what's going on?" Mary asked.

"They're orphans and they've been living on the streets. They got caught shoplifting today," Emma explained.

"That's awful," Mary said.

"It gets worse. If we can't find their father, Mayorzilla is forcing me to take them to Boston tonight. And they'll be put in separate homes," Emma added. Mary's heart sank. Emma had told her enough about the system to know that this was tragic for two young children.

"Oh Emma…" she lamented.

"David is actually at the pawn shop now, trying to track down information on the dad. I...I just have to stop her from doing this to them," Emma said. Mary squeezed her hand.

"We will," Mary soothed, as she wondered how much luck David was having in the search.

David parked in front of the garage on Main and cautiously went into the building, looking around.

"Can I help you, deputy?" a man asked, as he poked his head out from under the hood of the vehicle.

"Are you Michael Tillman?" David asked.

"Yes...is there a problem?" he questioned.

"Well, there's no easy way to say this really, Mr. Tillman, but we found your children," David replied. Michael blanched and stared at him for a moment, before sobering.

"I'm sorry deputy, I think you've made a mistake. I don't have any children," he stated. David sighed and pulled out the compass.

"I think you do, Mr. Tillman. Ava and Nicholas had this with them," David said. The man stared longingly at the compass, remembering the sentimental value the item had.

"Deputy…" he started to say.

"Nolan...David Nolan," he said.

"Deputy Nolan...I can barely keep the doors open on my garage and feed myself. I...I can't care for them," he replied shamefully. David had to remind himself that this was the curse; that whoever this man had been back in their land would never willingly have given up his children. It scared him to think about what he might have been like if he had been given curse memories. What kind of person would he have been?

"Mr. Tillman...if a parent or guardian doesn't take custody of them, Mayor Mills is forcing Emma...Sheriff Swan to take them to Boston tonight. They'll be put into the foster system and separated," David informed. Mr. Tillman looked sad, but he shook his head.

"And I hate that...but I can't. I'm not able to care for them," he said regrettably.

"I wish I could say that I understand...but I don't. I...I'd love to have children and I know that if I did, I would do anything for them," David replied, looking the man in the eyes, before turning away.

"Have a good day, Mr. Tillman," he said, as he got back in the car and drove away, with Michael watching him go with a torn expression.

As David walked into the diner a few minutes later, he saw the expectant faces of his wife and daughter, but his expression probably told them everything.

"What happened?" Emma asked.

"He said he was sorry, but he can barely keep his shop open. He says he can't take them," David told them and the expression on Emma's face broke his heart.

"I knew it...he doesn't want us. I told you, Nicholas," Ava spat, as her brother lowered his head sadly, just as the Mayor walked in.

"Well, Miss Swan, Boston is a four hour drive and the homes are expecting these two around eight pm, so I suggest you be off," Regina said, with a smug smirk.

"Regina...their father is in town. Just give us a few more days," Emma replied.

"Their father is unfit to provide for them, Miss Swan. Now, do your job and drive them to Boston...now," Regina snapped.

"What...what if someone else took them in until Mr. Tillman got on his feet?" Mary asked, as she looked at David and he smiled at her with a nod.

"If you're thinking that someone is going to be you, Miss Blanchard, then you're going to be sorely disappointed," Regina replied.

"Why? Mary and I more than capable physically and financially to take them in," David countered and Emma looked at her parents in awe. But the smug smile on Regina's face wanted to make her punch her.

"The state of Maine prefers to foster children to married couples and you two aren't married. Trust me, a teacher and her formerly comatose lover aren't exactly what they look for in potential foster parents," she said. David clenched his fist in anger. They were married and she knew damn well they were. But in his world, her world, she had stolen that from them too.

"Thanks for trying, guys," Emma said quietly, as Mary hugged her.

"Please drive carefully and call us when you get there," she requested. Emma smiled thinly.

"I will. I'll probably grab a motel room and then head back in the morning," she said, as she put the two saddened children into her car and drove away. David wrapped his arms around Mary from behind, folding her in his embrace, as they watched her go.

"Well, now that's taken care of, we won't have to worry about those two urchins running a muck in this town," Regina said, glaring at them both.

"Come on Mary...let's go home," he said, as he put his arm around her waist and they walked away, leaving the smug Mayor behind.

Emma was as distraught as she had been in a long time. As the bug rolled near the town line, with two saddened children in the back. She lamented about everything. Not only was she sick about separating these children. She was uneasy about leaving her parents behind in this town without her. Regina was relentless and wouldn't stop until her family and every other one was destroyed. She had been thinking about this for a while. More than once, she had wished there was a way to get her parents over the town line safely. She knew it was selfish, but she had thought about it more than once. Putting Henry and her parents in the bug and leaving this town behind. She knew a life on the run was no life. Her parents had done that kind of life back in their land. But at least they'd be together. She knew it was selfish and her parents would never abandon their people, even if her mother wasn't her mother right now.

But she would do almost anything right now to get her son and her parents away from Regina and Damon Tromera. She knew running away wasn't the answer though and she would have to face this head on, just as she was now facing separating these two children.

As she neared the town line, she heard a loud clunk from under the hood and the car started to smoke.

"What the hell…" she cursed, as she pulled onto the shoulder. Sighing deeply, she got out and raised the hood, coughing, as she waved her hand through the smoke. She was about to make a call when she saw Michael Tillman's tow truck, rolling toward them. She hadn't even managed to call him yet.

"Car trouble?" he asked.

"Yeah...guess we won't be making it to Boston tonight," Emma told the children. She was about to call Mary Margaret to ask if they could camp out in the loft for the night when she saw Michael staring at them. Ava held the compass, noticing it was suddenly working again. Emma opened the door and the children got out. Michael knelt down and looked at them longingly.

"I was wrong...abandoning you. It was...it is wrong," he choked out.

"I...I don't know if I know how to be a father, but I'm willing to give it a try if you'll have me. If you can forgive me," he pleaded. The two children hugged him and Emma felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Regina had failed again in the end and she couldn't wait to get home to her own parents.

"Taking them to Boston won't be necessary, Sheriff. They're my children," Michael said.

"That's good to hear. Think you can give me a tow back to your garage?" Emma asked.

"Absolutely, I think I can fix this heap tomorrow. We'll even drop you at home," he agreed. She smiled.

"You're hired," she replied...