#ive had this stuck in my head exactly like this for maybe 2 whole weeks now

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[just-spacetrash]

uh ough the fuckery

Every body wants to get a piece of me

[harley-style]

mcyt brain rot for you all

this is both anysis and headcanon and au scenario, all blended together. you're welcome :D

----------

i have this headcanon,,,, cobbled together by some tumblr posts i read,,,, but some of them point out that wilbur is like, good at manipulating people as well to a point, right?

so i was thinking. what if his reach extended far beyond what anyone thought of? *what if wilbur's influence spread to dream?*

i know we've discussed this before (or sparrow analyzed it idk) but like. hear me out. this headcanon has to do with how wilbur wants to create a narrative. pit it against dream and his presumed original desires to create a safe happy place for his friends. wilbur's insistence that dream is the "tyrant". what if wilbur saw how dream was pointedly staying out of conflict, decided, "i dont like that," and began twisting the storyline and pulled dream's strings (pointedly off camera bc headcanons, babyyyy) so that dream would eventually fall into ruin, as the disgraced tyrant?

and dream...he KNOWS what wilbur's doing. to him specifically. and he's struggling so hard at the beginning, judging by his soft, passive demeanor when wilbur asks about the tnt.

i think, that somewhere along the line, dream lost sight of where his boundaries lied, and falls right into wilbur's plot pit and became The Villain. and he's like, fuck. I went and done it, oh no.

and....it worsens.

i had this whole scenario in my head that dream fully embraces the villain role, plays wilbur's game and completes the "narrative"...but is so fed up with wilbur and his stupid fucking ploys that he...bends the rules a little. changes shit up.

something...oh, a little like "lets speedrun my fall into villainy" bc it wouldn't be dream without the speedrun.

fast forward to prison. maybe if dream finally gets to resurrect wilbur. and wilbur is Not Pleased with how dream has decided to handle his narrative.

but its like. dream doesn't give two shits about wilbur's goddamn narrative anymore. he **played wilbur's game**. he's done with his role. he's given them peace, given them a happy end.

sure, he's given the rest plenty of trauma, but hey, it all turned out okay in the end, right? theyve got their happy ending. theyve BEATEN the big bad nightmare. his role is OVER.

but wilbur doesnt like it. doesnt like the lengths dream went to. it wasn't supposed to be like this. dream wasn't supposed to turn out this much of a *monster.*

and dream laughs. "will, wilby, wilbur," he croons madly, in his pretty little cell, preening like a cat. "i dont care," he hisses. "you fucking wanted this. you WANTED me to be this way. right? mr. revolutionary man? come on now, dont tell me you never expected this."

and wilbur tries to protest, but dream cuts him off.

"no. NO. dont' play your stupid littke games on me wilbur. you udnerstand? im DONE. im so sick of your bullshit, your countries your wars and your stupid fucking "story". I WANTED PEACE AND SAFETY. ALL i asked was "hey, don't be jerks, we're all one big community," and you didn't even have the DECENCY to just adhere to those rules, not even a little bit! you -- i let you in here because of TOMMY, you know that? the reason you even got to BE in this world was because tommy "vouched" for you. said you would be a great addition. and tommy-- i loved that kid back then, you know? he was bright and annoying and he made the server FUN. you took that brilliance, took that kid, and turned him against me, against ALL of us -- for what? independence? I HANDED YOU INDEPENDENCE AND YOU SPAT IT IN MY FACE LIKE IT WAS THE MOST VILE THING YOUVE EVER RECEIVED. i didnt even ENFORCE my rules, they were so loose literally EVERYONE broke them at some point.

but you? you had the audacity to call me a tyrant. to call me selfish, greedy, controlling. and then you declared war. the pet wars, the first disc wars weren't even close to the intensity you brewed during the revolution.

you had this little ideal in your head. and ill have to hand it to you, it was certainly impressive. but you didnt need to press it, to pressure it on the people of my server. you did anyway. you created this plot, this scheme to paint me as the villain, as the final boss. and you know what? FINE! if this is what it takes for them to be safe and happy, i'll be the villain.

but don't come in here expecting me to play that role again. i DID my part. i united them. my work is over.

but you, wilbur? heh. you get to deal with ALL the consequences of your war games. you'll be the one dealing with tommy's nightmares, tubbo's anger, everyone's hatred, fuck, you even get to deal with the egg!! isnt that nice? i was willing to deal with the egg, you know, it appeared before the whole election thing. but since you're here, you may as well take over. because you're SO great at directing them, you know? better than i ever could.

point is, wilbur, you don't get to use me as the tyrant, the final boss, the bad guy, and the villain anymore. when i said i would be putting the most powerful person in here, I wasn't fucking lying!"

"but tommy said you were going to put him in there!"

"you know, with the amount of times ive practically lied to that kid, im surprised he still believed me. i was never planning to put him in here. no one else would be put in here. hell, even techno and phil would just have gotten stuck here for about a week. i had guidelines, you know. i put them in a book somehwere, in one of my bases. no one was supposed to get unfair treatment. unfortunately i seemed to have pulled the short end of thr stick. that seems to be all that im doing these days."

"dream—"

"no. don't do that. don't pull me into another one of your plots wilbur. i don't want to hear it. you got your villain. your villain is gone, wilbur.

it's time to be the hero. :)"

basically my points here are like.

-wilbur made a narrative that dream didnt agree with

-this narrative painted dream in a negative villian light so dream basically said "yeah fuck that" and spedran his role

-headcanons galore i really do like the idea of dream creating that prison for himself to be locked in

-once wilbur is back he visits dream and explains his displeasure that dream went and did the things he did bc 1) hurt a lot of people personally and 2) did not adhere to the villain role wilbur specifically assigned to dream

-additional mentions: both wanted peace but in different forms. dream wanted peace for peace's sake but wilbur wanted peace after struggles. dream genuinely loved everyone on the server, but had to shed those attachments because to him, PERSONALLY, it would be a weakness towards his "villainous" role. his threatening of tubbo in front of tommy so tommy can "be the hero like spiderman and batman" shows that he knows exactly how empowering attachments are. lastly, dream only began manipulating people after the pogtopia arc. he mostly stayed the neutral party during it, and was just reacting with plans among plans during the lmanburg revolution.

-additionally, wilbur really wanted to stay dead, but dream said "haha no" and alived him again bc if he has to be the one to inflict trauma onto people then wilbur has to suffer leading the efforts to recovery.

hi @dreamsclock u keep giving me brainrot so im tossing this at u thank u goodbye i hope u dont mind the tag

[kunderdogs]

Take A Chance IV

Simon Dominic (AOMG) x Y/N (Reader) Genre: Romance / Angst Count: 2.4k+ Warnings: None Rating: Mature (suggestive, swearing) Summary: Who would’ve thought a one night stand with Simon D would turn into FWB? It only gets more complicated when you developed feelings, against your better judgement.

Chapter One. | Chapter Two. | Chapter Three. | Chapter Four. | Chapter Five. | Chapter Six. | Chapter Seven. |

Over the course of two weeks, you and Kiseok had a pretty good routine going on. He didn't come over every night, more like every other but he called and texted you nearly every chance he got.

At first you didn't think anything of it. He would ask you how your day was, if you ate and how you were feeling. Nothing crazy or out of pocket. It was innocent most of the time, and usually followed up by making plans to see you later on.

There was nothing you could do to stop your heart from bursting out of your chest each time you heard a small chime. Nicole had glared at you once when you two were on lunch and you scrambled over the table to reach your phone.

"Is that Lover Boy?" She teased. You were thankful that, out of all the nicknames she could've used - and she had a lot of them -, lover boy was the one she had stuck with. For now.

"What?" You feigned ignorance, "I have no idea what you're talking about. That's...Amazon. My package was delivered."

She smirked, sipping her iced tea, "I'm sure it was."

After a few days, Kiseok's texts became a little more...risky. You had no problem with sexting. When in the right setting, it was hot but he would send you wild shit while you're in the middle of a meeting, or when you're trying to finish up the last of your work before heading to see him. Usually you could play it off then retreat to the bathroom to respond but when he sent a voice recording of that damned deep voice of his, you stood from your desk and went to the stairs corridor to call and cuss him out for getting you bothered at eleven in the morning. You promised punishment as soon as you were off and Kiseok was, to say the least, intrigued. That night he was stunned at how different you could be if he gave you the reigns. Days after that, he still catches himself staring after you with amazement.

From that point on, he pretty much figured out that he could make you do nearly anything with a certain voice. It was a dangerous game that you two played. It only escalated when he coaxed you to touch yourself in the private bathroom at your company with him on FaceTime. You were lucky that you had finished in record-breaking time, before any of your coworkers (or God forbid, your boss) found out what exactly you were doing.

By the time the third week rolled around, Nicole had stopped hounding you for details of your hookups. Instead, she cautioned every now again. Typically, it was the same thing.

"Don't get too attached."

"He's a celebrity. You know how society is to foreigners dating celebs."

"What if he's a player? I just don't want you to get hurt."

While you appreciated her concern, you knew it was already too late not to get attached to him. Other than text you constantly, Kiseok did little things that had your head and heart confused.

On his bad days, he would complain to you about what happened and asked for your advice, if you had any to give, on the topic. He joked and teased you just like a friend would and willingly showed you pieces of his personal and work life as well. It was subtle at first - videos of him in the studio and then pictures of his friends when he was telling you a story about them. Each time, he would bring you food or have something delivered so you both got to learn each other's eating and drinking habits. You had seen him tipsy but he made it a point not to over do it in front of you.

Kiseok was also very considerate of you and your time, which you appreciated more than anything else. He didn't hound you if you didn't text back immediately and understood if you were swamped at the office or had to cancel that one time because the work would not be done until late in the night. He just told you to take care of yourself and later, had a pizza ordered to your job. It was around that time that you noticed you were falling a little too fast. You hadn’t admitted it out-loud, instead you chose to ignore those feelings completely. Hopefully, they would magically disappear into thin air.

You both didn't get into intimate details of your life. It was only by a weird stroke of luck that he hadn't found out about Cookie. She usually called right after you got off work anyway. Kiseok was busy during the day so when you went out to meet with your daughter and her father on your off days, he was in the middle of his own jam-packed schedule. Really, he was only available during the night time so you were more of a booty call than a FWB at this point. Neither of you had defined the "relationship" so far though, so it was hard to put a name to it right now.

It was Saturday when you woke up early and got dressed in casual clothes to go with Cookie to the zoo. Her, her father and his girlfriend were flying back to the US tonight so they wanted to do one last thing to fill the hours before the boring plane ride. You had cried last night as you thought of being without your mini-me for two whole months but his family hadn't seen her since she was much younger. You knew she would have fun, especially since his parents were dying to take her to Disneyland. You wished you could take an extended vacation and go with them but you had used most of your vacation days to take Cookie to Disney World for her birthday and that was only a couple of months ago.

Either way, you were sadder these past two days and thankfully Kiseok was swamped with an upcoming project so he hadn't been over in about four days. You didn't have to explain your blood-shot eyes.

You had so much fun at the zoo with your daughter that you didn't bother touching your phone. Your ex had taken most of the pictures for you all with promises to send them to you. It was around two in the afternoon when you four decided to go to a nearby burger joint and get some lunch. Cookie was shoving her face with chicken tenders so you decided to check your phone to pass the time. There were a few new gray message bubbles.

'Hey sexy thang ;)' 10:09AM

'This song better go double platinum with all the work I'm puttin in this bitch' 11:32AM

'Don't tell me you're asleep still?' 11:38AM

'I'm going to find a way to get your sexy ass as a video vixen one of these days' 11:47AM

'Argggh PD is calling me back. Text me when you wake up' 11:51AM

'We should be done by 2. Loco is taking me to some new place for food then I'm free. Can I swing by your place?' 11:52AM

Of course they were all from Kiseok. Not even your mother texted you as much as he did and although you liked the attention, right now you wanted to focus on Cookie since you won't physically see her for weeks after this. You frowned to yourself, feeling tears well up in your eyes for the millionth time today. You were going to miss her so much.

Composing yourself, you quickly typed a reply back. 'Hey. I'm up, just a little busy today. I won't be able to see you tonight. Maybe tomorrow if you're free?' 2:16PM

With that, you locked your phone and slid it in your pocket, once again forgetting about it soon after.

Your ex's girlfriend, Mia, nudged you slightly when she saw how pensive you were. "Hey, you okay? Was that work?"

Shaking your head, you took a breath, "No, I'm just gonna miss having my best friend around."

Cookie popped up, french fries sticking out of her mouth, "I'm gonna miss you too, mommy!" Her curly hair was pulled into two pony-tails, coils springing happily as she devoured the food in record-breaking time. "Don't cry! I'll make daddy buy you a Tiana dress so we can match!"

You laughed at the sight, tears pooling in your eyes again as her father pouted. "Ok, sweetie, I'd love to match with you."

About thirty minutes later, you all were getting ready to leave when Mia said she'd swing by and grab the rental car from the parking lot. They had to go to back to their hotel to pack. You all said your goodbyes, tears flowing freely between you and Mia. Cookie looked concerned for you as she wiped your tears, kissing your cheeks to reassure you.

Your ex hugged you and thanked you again, his eyes sparkling with happiness to have his precious daughter with him. You wished you could go with them once again as you watched their car drive off.

Back at home, you were greeted with a depressingly quiet apartment. It was cold and dark, something that was going to be a common occurrence for the coming weeks. Sniffling, you made your way to Cookie’s room, scanning her pink room with a blurring gaze. You were slowly walking around the room when you felt your phone ring.

It was Mia.

"Hello?" You called, wondering what could've happened in the last hour since you parted ways.

"Hey, Y/N, Cookie is freaking out because her father forgot to ask you to bring her Peach doll," Mia nearly shouted over the distraught crying in the background. You could hear your ex trying to console Cookie, to no avail. "Can you meet us at the airport with it?"

Searching the room, you spotted the Princess Peach doll on her bed and nearly sprinted out of the door. "I got it. When is your flight again?"

"Boarding is in another hour and a half."

Shit. You scrambled to snatch your keys and shoved the doll in your purse. "Okay, I'll leave now and meet you at departures, okay? Tell Cookie mommy's on the way."

You hung up and made a mad dash down to the parking garage. The airport was about a forty-five minute drive from your place, not including traffic or any other delays like the predictable Seoul rush hour.

At his own apartment, Simon was lounging on his couch, laptop on his chest as he worked. Loco was right next to him, on Face Time with the one and only Jay Park as he was at the airport.

"Have a safe flight," Loco was saying before Kiseok slid shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

"Get there and back in once piece, boss," the oldest one teased and Jay laughed. Unfortunately, he was distracted a little too long because he suddenly collided into a woman. The phone fell, face up and there were suddenly two faces on the screen.

His body guards reacted immediately and made sure the two were alright. Mildly interested, the two on the other side of the line watched on.

"I-I'm so sorry, oh God, I'm just in a rush." The woman's voice was so eerily familiar to Kiseok that he took a second to strain to hear it over the airport commotion.

Jay was off to the side, picking up his passport and other belongings that fell. "Nah, it's alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Again, I'm so sorry I wasn’t- Is this your phone?"

Without further ado, the woman picked up Jay's phone, and Kiseok felt his eyes bulge out of his skull when her face came into view.

What was Y/N doing in the airport? Loco didn't notice the other's tense reaction and simply waved at the stranger. You didn't seem to glance at the screen, yet they could easily notice your tear-stained cheeks, and just passed it back to the owner.

Over Jay reassuring her that it was fine for the third time, a loud and very male voice yelled. "Y/N! There you are!"

With another apology, you left the frame and turned towards the male voice. Jay watched the interaction for a second before continuing on his way, which was conveniently right past you. Loco was talking to the CEO like that didn't just happen when Kiseok saw you in the frame again. He was positive it was you this time around.

You wore that over-sized gray sweater that he thought was so cute on you, hair tied messily and hugging a handsome foreigner tightly. He pulled back from the hug and pushed back some pieces of your hair from your face before smiling, his lips moving. Staring up to him, you nodded, wiping your face with your sleeves. He brought you back to his chest, arms around your shoulders.

Involuntarily, Kiseok felt his jaw clench at the display of affection. His eyes tore from the phone quicker than he meant to, causing his junior to stare at him in confusion.

For the rest of the night, Loco was warily watching as the older man was fuming next to him. There was hardly any movement from his part and he was sure he was in a coma until Simon wiped out his phone, tapping it a few times before pressing it to his ear.

“Nayoung? It’s been a while. Are you free right now?”

Almost choking on his coke, Hyukwoo coughed. Why was Kiseok calling her, of all people? Once the call wrapped up, he nervously voiced his concern, “Hyung...Why are you calling her at this hour..?”

He didn’t get an immediate response, instead, Kiseok stood and glared with the power of a thousand suns at the TV in front of them.

“Am I not single? Can I not do what I want, with whoever I want, too?”

Without any further explanation, he stormed out of the apartment all together.

Hyukwoo stared after the front door in confusion. “Too?”

[felixsaussieaccent]

To All The (Stray) Kids I’ve Loved Before | vi

Member: Minho/Lee Know

i  ii  iii  iv  v   vii  viii  ix

“So, what about you?” Jeongin asked as I pouted “I got nothin.” I said. Every school in the area wanted students to choose an after school activity, and sadly, crying was not accepted. Jeongin decided to join a trot singing club, aka a trot version of Glee, Jisung and Changbin already had their rapping “club” and Yeojin was already doing gymnastics. I sighed and tried to think of what to do. I asked Seungmin, if he knew where I should go, but he advised that it would be best if I picked out the activity.

Something about actually enjoying myself in an after school activity and not just doing something because I have to or something...damn his smarts. But I did take his advice and try to think about something I was passionate about or wanted to do. Dancing came to mind and the idea stuck. I mean, there was a dance school next to my high school and everyone praised it. 2/3 being because of the dancing, 1/3 being because the teachers were apparently very attractive.

I decided to sign up at the dance school and I was very anxious for it. Mainly because it was something new and I was scared I wouldn’t get along with anyone or that I wouldn’t be good at it. My anxiety got bigger as the date of the first dance lesson approached. Dance lessons every Monday, Wednesday and Friday meant less spending time with my friends. But that also meant I would get to get away from seeing the guys’ faces, which made me want to punch them, due to my confusing feelings towards them.

The first dance lesson on Monday finally arrived and I wasn’t exactly jumping with joy. I got to the dance room where I saw many people already stretching, so I decided to do the same. “You new here?” A girl with ashy blonde hair next to me asked “Yeah, is it obvious?” I asked “Nah, just haven’t seen you around yet. I’m Minyeon, I’ve been dancing here for 2 and a half years now, I’m basically teacher level, so if you ever need help anything, feel free to ask me.” She answered “Thanks.” I replied.

I was happy there was at least one person who was nice to me here.....she seemed really friendly and I kinda gravitated towards her all through the lesson. After the lesson, she invited me to go get drinks with some of the other dancers. We went to a near by cafe where they talked about the dance school and tried to explain everything I might need to know at the dance school.

“Thanks for explaining and taking the time to talk to me about it. I really appreciate it.” I said “Nonsense. We treat each member of this school with as much respect as possible. And we try to talk to each other as often as possible so we have great teamwork.” Minyeon said “Which reminds me, I hear there’s a new teacher who’s gonna start teaching new week and apparently he was BTS’ backup dancer, so you know he both talented and cute.” She added.

As the conversation went on, so did the day, so eventually we all paid for our drinks and went home. I finally got good WiFi, as the mobile data in the cafe was garbage and the WiFi was nonexistent, which meant getting 25 unread messages from the group chat me, Jeongin, Jisung, Yeojin and Changbin are in, Seungmin and Minyeon.

Minyeon

Hey, Minyeon here! just wanted to text you, so you get my number haha. Anyway, see you Wednesday!

Seungmin

End me 🙃

This activity is horrible😒

I thought babysitting was suppose to be fun, not a living nightmare

I want my tutoring job back🙃

Please tell me your failing a class 😫

Also, how did the dance lessons go?

404! GC NAME NOT FOUND

Dessert Fox🖍❤️

Hey, what’s up, it’s your boy,.....star of trot Glee😏

Yeojin🤪💗

Glad you’re enjoying it. There’s some new people here because of this whole activity thing and they are so annoying

Squirrel Boi🐿🧡

And this ladies and gentlemen, is why you make your own club, in order to do nothing and not have to do some stupid after school activity

....

I replied to all of them before falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The next day, Yeojin was ranting while Jisung and Changbin were gloating. The whole day was just a big pain, as I felt all of the exercise pain from yesterday beginning to start, which made me come to the dance lessons on Wednesday earlier, allowing me more time to stretch and prepare.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t know anyone would be here yet.” I said seeing that there was a man in the dance room. “Oh it’s fine, I was just warming up for my next class.” He said “Are you by any chance in the same class a Minyeon?” He asked as I nodded “Aaa! My new student! Nice to meet you, my name is Minho.” He said “I’m Y/N.” I introduced myself back “I’m quite new at this whole teaching thing, so if I’m a bit weird or awkward, please excuse my behaviour.” He warned “No, it’s fine, I’m new here too actually.” I reassured. “Oh, so we’re in this together then.” He chuckled.The time went by and more of the dancers arrived, but before anyone else arrived, Minho disappeared to the teacher’s room, I’m guessing. Minyeon greeted me before starting to stretch, which was quickly interrupted by Minho walking into the room.

“Hello, I am Minho, your new dance teacher. I’m new to teaching, so I apologize in advance.” He said, making the whole class giggle, resulting in me overhearing some “omg he’s cute”s and “he’s really attractive”s. “Anyway, shall we start? Are you all warmed up?” He asked as we all nodded “Great! So let’s begin our lesson.” He clapped his hands and smiled before putting on the music and showing us the first moves for us to get the vibe of the dance. His body moved as if he had no bones and I had to admit that I did maybe check him out several times, not only during his dance but also the lesson itself.

After the lesson, I felt like I was lacking in some parts of the choreography, so I stayed after everyone left and approached Minho. “Um, one question, would it be possible for you to show some moves again? I can’t really wrap my head around some of them.” I said, with an uncertain tone. “Oh, of course. Which ones?” He asked as the “private” lesson went on. “You’ve got the hang of it! Remember, if you feel like you need any more private lessons, I’m always here, ok?” He asked, smiling again before I nodded and thanked him. “See you on Friday!” I said before leaving the room.

Me

LISTEN

Yeojin🤪💗

Wassup, my homie

Me

First of all, never call me that

Like ever again

Second of all, I GOTTA NEW TEACHER AND HE CUTE

Yeojin🤪💗

OMG SPILL

I explained everything to her before finally going to bed, feeling way too exhausted to stay awake for even a second longer. Friday came around quickly and my anxiety had turned into excitement. The lessons became more fun and more exciting. Minho brought some type of chill atmosphere to the lesson and it became so much fun to attend these lessons and before I knew it, our first performance was near. I was excited but also scared I would mess the choreography up badly, asking Minho for those extra lessons.

“Your hip should be-May I?” He asked, his hand above my hip as he looked into the mirror to which I nodded and gulped. He put his hand on my hip and guided my hips to the rhythm. The move wasn’t very sexual or suggestive, it was a more cute and fun dance so my heart wasn’t beating faster because of the hip movement. It was mainly because I didn’t expect him to be this close. Through out the whole lesson, he was very close, which made my heart beat extremely fast, making me confused and unfocused, causing me to trip over my own legs and falling onto the ground with a lot of force.

I felt a bit of tears start to form in the corners of my eyes and a pain growing in my leg. “Omg, are you ok?” Minho bent down to me before trying to examine my leg. “It doesn’t feel broken, it’s probably just a big bruise...hold on.” He said as he got up to go get a first aid kit as I tried to get the ends of my legging higher so I could see the bruise. “Owww.” I commented at my own leg. It looked very bad, so I tried not to look at it too much. Minho came back and started patching up my leg. Once he was done, he helped me stand up, but with my new injury, I could barely stand properly, so I leaned into him for balance, which made my face turn really red.

I called my parent to pick me up, and Minho helped me to the car. “I hope your leg feels better, but I don’t think you should come to practice, you should rest, ok?” He said “No, I have to come, just to watch, if nothing else.” I said as he sighed and agreed to my idea.

The next time I came to practice, I had alreqdy gotten a crutch for my leg, causing every one of my dance teammates to tell me how I should rest. I tried to calm their worries by saying I’m only gonna watch, as I don’t want my minor injury to effect my dancing. Minho arrived into the room and told me to sit at the teacher’s corner and observe before starting the lesson. As the team went over the dance a few times, Minho came and sat next to me.

“How’s your leg?” He asked “It doesn’t hurt that much, the doctor said I’ll be good enough to dance till next Wednesday.” I said, happily “Do you think that’s gonna be enough time to study the choreography?” He asked as I remembered the performance is the Monday after the week I can start dancing again. “I don’t know, I would hope so, but I doubt it.” I answered, my tone getting sadder with every word. “It’s fine, don’t be sad about it, there’s always next performance!” He said, trying to cheer me up “Yeah, you’re right.” I replied, looking at the ground “Hey, you ok?” He asked, trying to see my reaction “Yeah.” I looked up at his face.

It was like he was examinating my face for any traces of sadness. “I’m not leaving until you smile.” Minho informed “What are you, Gordon Ramsey?” I joked, making him laugh. “It’s good that you haven’t lost your spirit, keep it up, I don’t wanna see a frown today, ok?” He smiled at me, waiting for my answer. I nodded and smiled back at him before he turned around and started teaching again.

He was very sweet the whole class, he kept checking up on me and making sure I don’t feel uncomfortable. At the end of the class, he helped me get to the elevator. “You know, I admire your passion. You didn’t have to come, you could have stayed at home and rested...but you didn’t. I see how much this means to you.” Minho said, waiting for my reaction as we stood in front of the elevator “Thanks.” I blushed and looked at the floor “You’re cute when you do that.” “Do what?” I looked up at him while being confused and probably looking like a tomato. “Look at the ground when you’re nervous or blushing.” He answered, making me blush even more.

Before I could answer, the elevator arrived and he stepped into the small room with me. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” I said before he hit the button for the main floor “Nonsense! You could get lost in this big space!” He joked, making me laugh and look at the ground again “You did it again.” He smiled “sorry I-“ “Don’t apologize, i said it was cute, remember?” He reminded, which resulted in me matching one of the red walls of the elevator. “You have something on you face.” He said as I tried to look at the mirror before he put his hand on my face. “It’s just an eyelash.” He explained as I realized how close we are again, looking down, making him realize as well. “I-“ I tried to say something, but my mind was blank. He stared at my face, waiting for any reaction before I felt his stare and looked at him. Our eyes were focused on each other and that’s when his eyes quickly made their way towards my lips and back to my eyes. Next thing I knew, he was leaning in as his eyes were closing and I panicked. I took a deep breath before mimicking his actions.

*Ding*

Right as our lips were about to touch, the elevator door opened, making us pull apart. “Oh, um, I’ll see you next lesson, then.” I said before quickly making my way out of the elevator “Um, yeah, see you then!” He said before pressing a button to get back up. I made my way to the car as I sighed and closed my eyes. So close.

Throughout the lessons, Minho still checked up on me and my leg, but there was an awkward aura everyone could sense, resulting in the members asking me about it, and me answering that it’s probably just in their minds. I couldn’t stop thinking about it though. His lips were so close to mine and he smelled so good. If my mind was like this after almost kissing him, I wonder what it would be like after actually kissing him. I tried to distract my mind and not think about the almost kiss or Minho, which was hard, as I kept staring at him during the lessons and I’m pretty sure everyone noticed.

Minyeon💃🏻

Omg, your crush on Minho is so obvious😂 calm down the heart eyes lol

Me

For your information, i do not have a crush on him, my eyes just happen to drift towards him and then resemble hearts, ok 😤

Minyeon 💃🏻

Sure 👀

The day of the preformance finally arrived and I decided to come before it actually started, to cheer them on. I didn’t have my crutch anymore, but I couldn’t dance with them, so I felt really bad and guilty about it, even if they kept reassuring me that it was fine. Minho came into the room with a suit, making me “heart eyes” literally form heart eyes. He looked so good in that suit, that I forgot about the conversation I was having with Minyeon and the other dancers. “Heart eyes.” Minyeon teased, making the other dancers chuckle and me playfully slap her arm. It was time for them to preform and I sat next to Minho throughout the whole ceremony and commented about how no team can compare to ours.

“You call that dancing? My cats could do better!” He whispered to me “You have cats?” I said, excitedly “Yeah, wanna see them?” He asked, his tone resembling a proud mom. “Duh.” I said as he took out his phone and showed me a picture “That one is named Soon-ie and this one is named Doong-ie.” He said “Awwweeee, cute.” I awed at the two cats “just like their owner.” I whispered to myself “What was that?” He asked “Nothing” I answered, smiling. “They’re a pain sometimes but when they’re that cute, you don’t mind.” He joked, making me chuckle.

Our team preformed really well and we hyped them up so much during the preformance, some of the people near us told us to be quieter, resulting in some awkward silence fro us. After the preformance, Minho decided to treat the whole team as they all cheered. I congratulated and praised them all before making my way to the door. “Where are you going?” Minho asked “You’re apart of this team too, come on.” He added, making me smile as we went to a near by restaurants, where we toasted to Minho and the team (with Coca Cola).

He kept looking at me during the meal and Minyeon even smirked at me at times, raising her eyebrow and “taking a selfie” which was really just a sly way of taking a photo of me and Minho. She later sent me that photo, almost giving me a heart attack. “So, thank you all for your hard work, it paid off and I hope you all continue to show your passion and talent! You did great!” Minho said as a goodbye before the members all left.

“How are we always left alone?” He asked me “I’m waiting for my parent to pick me up, I don’t know your excuse.” I joked as he chuckled. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, blushing “I don’t know, you’re just real cute.” He answered, still staring. I blushed, looking at the ground before hearing his chuckle “As always.” He commented “Hey, leave me and my shyness alone!” I joked before a stranger bumped into him accidentally, causing Minho and I’s distance to minimize. “Oh, hi.” He chuckled, realizing our faces are centimeters apart “Hi.” I said back before I found myself in the same situation as in the elevator. But this time, there was no *ding*. His lips touched mine and we both just stood there, kissing for about half a minute before pulling away and looking at each other, both of us not knowing what to do or say.

“Oh, I gotta go, that’s my ride.�� I said, looking over and seeing a car approach. “Ok, well, um, good night!” He said calmly “Good night!” I said before making my way into the car and driving off.

Dear Minho,

.......

A/N: y’all already know that

1. This is garbage

2. I didn’t proof read this at all

So I hope you enjoyed this, thought I doubt you did, since as I said, this is trash. But yeah I did this super last minute and I didn’t proof read so I apologize for that lmao. I’m also planning a soulmate au one shot but idk which member to write abt so hit my inbox up lmao

[sharpieismywarpaint]

RULEZ! answer 21 questions, then tag 21 ppl!

YAY BEST DAY EVAR WUT ANSWERING USELASS KWESTIUNS IS MY FAVORITE HOBBY XOXOXO 4 TAGGING ME @xxadam-antidotexx​

nickname: “ummm... Y r u eating all teh eggo wafflez at teh afterskewl committee PLZLEAVETHX X0″ i lubs this 1 cuz its what errybody is always saying 2 me. If u donut want 2 call me my official name (Mike Krotch B-]) then U can also call meh shaggy 2 dope

zodiac: capricorn.. according 2 all youze tumblr astrology posts im supposed 2 B the serious 1?? BOO bitch moan whine wut.

height: 5'3 but i stand next 2 short pepuls all the time so that i l00k taller i’m sumthing of a genious B]

last movie i saw: beverly hills chihuahuas It’s on FXX rn & the mexican chihuahua just said oh my tacos to the beverly chihuahua omg. I kno its just cuz they legits couldnt figure out how else to make it obvious itza poc-puppy but i am seriousleh considurring incorperating OH MY TACOS! into meh everyday vocab. GET CABLE BEYOTCHEZ!

last thing i googled: spitfire 99a 52mm. (Thos R my skateboard wheel measurements cuz i broke mah old 1s. o well at least it sounds badass on teh internets, gaiz?)

favourite musician: mindless self indulgence. JIMMY PEE MAN IZ dOpE.

song stuck in my head: rich girl gwen stafanafani cuz its in the beverly hills chihuahua soundtrack & iZ playing rn. also coco jambo becuz some1 had that as her autoplay on her blog..

other blogz: i have my main & my art blog i-dee-kay if i alreddy linked teh art blog on here or sumthing butt its @tonyhawkofficial 

followerz: 727 oh gawd i barely evan look at my follower count cuz numburrs stress me out but dat iz a LOT i mean i culd organize a rave or sumthing IRL <3

following: 179 & even then most of it iz inactive blogs Ono

amount of sleep: ~7h butt dubble that on the weekends. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

lucky number: 13 perHAPS. it iz just 2 spookay.

dream job: ceo of a powerful companey and i ware cat eye glasses all the time and throw money at people who want it while driving around in mah honda civic and I also have a feather boa but when midnite strikes my secret identitty is a really good glostick raver and i come to yur party and rave teh nite away with ppl on ecstacy or sumthing & then I go olone into teh desert and turn into mathematical equations. Plz & thankyouse. 

what im wearing: shirt I got when I went 2 florida a century ago i wuz like 9 years it has a gator on it & these orange parachute pants they look EXACTLY like the 1s christina wears in the genie in a bottle video let me show yu gaiz these bootaykicking pants later 2day okai!

favourite food: OMG TUMBLR RESET TEH NUMBERS!! F U TUMBLR!!!! O ya and while I’m at it WHY DIDN’T I GET TEH MEMO DAT I WUZ TAGGED IN SUMTHING UNTIL I CHACKED MEH ACTIVITY GRAPH MEHSELVES, HMMMMMM?? Listen Tumblrs U  R really addiction central sumtimes but U SUCKS! n. e. way have yu gaiz ever had a white castle slider... I luuubs the jalepeno ones. O yesh. Also reeses (which iz also meh favorite malcolm in the middle character which i watched the entirety of dis week 4 sum gawrshdang reason, YAY!)

language: english (JK, ive actaully been faking it this whole tiems :D), korean, rellay crappy fijian evan though I spent meh whole childhood thare WUT? a little french hon hon hon & spanish 

can i play an instrument: i can plink a mean piano... but mostleh the guitar. Trying 2 learn sum lemon demon songs on there cuz knowledge is power!? I can serenade U with a sublime song or sum nirvana songs if U liek.

favourite song: the chaccaron maccaron song XDDD. Um forreal I dont wanna say sum msi song becuz i am feeling UNPREDICTABUL 2nite how about ravers fantasy by tune up its like teh classic? Or maybe teh entirety of the first happy 2B hardcore CD idk i alwaez just listen to teh whole album in 1 go & pretend its just 1 song anywai. Happy 2b hardcore roolz guys liek anabolic frolics entire discography i mean relly hamana hamana.

random fact: in 2012 I met 1 of teh kids who yelled aye aye captain in teh spongebob theme song OMG cray-zee i wuz liek OH U KID, TIGER!! but his dad worked on spengebeb so yea he relly did do it frickin ruled

describe yourself using aesthetic things!: a-aesthetic thing... dafuq is an aestheitc thing? Kittehs. Boobies. Winamp mp3s. Randumz pandumbs. Kandi. Glostix. KANDI KANDI KANDEEEHH. Wheeee. IDK WHAT 2 DU HERE I AM SHAMEFACED D:

i tag: @tyleroakley @trishapaytas @bob (not a real gai I just luvs teh name bob. Beb.) @amelia-lb <--- porn bot that just followed meh that i have 2 applaud for persistence & ANYBODEH READING THIS RN OKIE i freaking lubs haveing an xCuse 2 do these things.

SORRZ IF I RUINED UR DASH 4EVER! KLOVECHUBAI KISSIES & GLOMPZ ^^^ <---(kawaii triclops)

[dftblove]

tagged by @lostfuzzysock

Rules: Answer these 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

Nickname(s): my uncle calls me a combo of my first and middle name, karose

Height: 5'8" i believe

Last movie I saw: aquaman! it was fun!!

Last thing I googled: all sorts of preschool related pictures to make a this-or-that type game

Favorite Musician: I don't really have one, my favorite music switches around constantly. maybe kesha?

Song stuck in my head: ever since they had Rent on tv ive had the songs from that coming and going from my brain and that was more than 2 weeks ago so im getting really annoyed about it 😆

Other blogs: none! i sorta had a porn blog but that was just for me and my bf, and doesnt really get used at all anymore

Do I get asks: nope!

Following: 197

Amount of sleep: i need So Much Sleep to function. 8 hours minimum. i started running on 7.5 for a while and was so tired. got like 9 hours last night😴😴😴

Lucky number: 3!

What I'm wearing: pink sweater and grey pants that i wore to work today

Dream job: teacher!! im teaching preschool now part time,and also a secretary which is a great mix

Dream trip: i did a 2 week UK tour with my sister a couple years ago and that was really the dream. it was totally amazing. id love a couple more chances to do big trips like that, and to do a long vacation like that with @mysticgryph at some point!!

Favorite food: chicken parmesan is my go to!! you really cant go wrong with italian

Play any instruments: i used to play piano and i loved it. tried flute once and hated it

Languages: english only, really. i keep trying to learn Spanish but it doesnt stick. and i did a sign language course in college

Favorite songs: idk im so bad at picking songs just like musicians. lol. all the rowboats by regina specktor always hits me

Random fact: ive been dating my love exactly 3 years and 2 days

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: huh, if i knew myself at all id be a whole different person tbh 😆 succulents, and marble patterned paints, and the smell of an old well loved book.

I tag: mysticgryph, @

[beronicahugs]

Not my Jacket - Part 2 - S.P

Masterlist

Part I  <--- Part II ---> Part III 

taglist; @allison-rosewood-maximoff , @whenaprincessisahero , @sweetpeas-serpant , @babygirlscali , @randomnesss-of-fandomness , @coffeeaddict201 , @jxhn-mxrphy , @maceyisntcool , @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte , @tacozxd , @lifeisforlosers , @cinn-rawr , @imthewinchestertoyourimpala , @writersandroses , @kytty27 , @lilithmouse , @poolpartyingwithjaws , @savy-girl , @moonkvd , @svenjafangirlt 

tag your friends 💙

~~

“Lovely Y/n, how nice to see you again”

Penny peabody smiled at you, a wicked grin on her face. He blonde hair was straightened to perfection, as her navy blazer was crisp. The woman looked at her with wild eyes.

“You know the deal. Join the serpents, pay off your debts, and your boyfriend-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Sorry” She sneered, “your friend, won’t get hurt”

You sighed;

“What do I have to do?”

~

“What’s the first rule?!” Tall boy shouted at you.

“Never show cowardice!”

You had never felt so out of place at the Whyte wyrm. The whole serpent gang was there, including fangs, Toni and jughead. They weren’t nearby because as much as they supported you, they didn’t want to make you more nervous than you were.

“What’s the forth rule?!” Tall boy shouted, louder this time.

“No serpent is left for dead!”

That’s what you were going to become. A serpent, yes, but just a dead one. One they could throw under the bus, pass off the blame of some murder or stabbing on you.

“What’s the fifth rule?!”

“A serpent never betrays his own!”

Yeah right. Complete crap if look at what happened to jugheads dad F.P.

“good! Now grab the dagger!”

You eyes trailed to where tall boy pointed. In a glass box, sat a slithering snake. a dagger stabbed into the box. The snake watched you with beady eyes. You didn't want to do it. You couldn’t...what if you di-

Your body was moving faster than your mind, your hand had reached for the dagger before your mind could even think, and two snake bites sat on your hand.

~

Sweet pea stayed silent. He wrapped your hand in gauss. The Whyte wyrm was still alive, music blasting and people playing pool.

You both hadn’t spoken yet. The feeling was too awkward and terrified.

Sweet pea sighed, followed by you sighing as well.

“You know I could've talk to her I co-”

“No sweet pea. She...she’s too controlling. If you had talked to her she would have wanted something in return”

“Yeah but you wouldn’t have been harmed. I would’ve”

A small bubble of joy popped in your stomach. It was nice that he cared about you, but you were just his best friend, nothing more. You tried to ignore the knot in your stomach.

“Exactly and I wouldn't be able t....” You trailed off.

‘To live with myself’ you wanted to say. But you couldn’t muster up enough courage.

“What?”

“Nothing...I just- Nothing its nothing”

~

It was the final stage of the initiation. All serpents were lined up, even some of the older ones. You stood there, your eyes already itching with tears, but you couldn’t cry, you had to stand tall. If you didn’t pass who knows what Penny would do.

The first punch was from tall boy, a ringing in your ears starting. Then it was fangs, who missed where his actual target was, he told you he’d hit your stomach or something, but hit your eye. All sweet pea could think of was that he was going to beat him up later. A purple bruise soon to shine in the spot. Then it was a larger set man, who punched you right in the stomach.

Punch after punch you took. If you fell down you stood back up. You had to. to protect your best friend.

Penny was there too, before she punched you, she grinned, chills being sent up your spine, and not like the ones sweet pea gave you.

She socked you right where Fangs hit you.

Then it was Sweet Pea. You could see the tears in his eyes, but he didn’t let any fall. He had to hit you good, or penny might do it for him. Closing his eyes, gripping his brass knuckles he hit your jaw.

Your knees let go, your face hit the grass. It was done.You were in the serpents. All you had to do was stand up.

You planted your feet in the ground as best you could. You stood tall,well as tall as you could, and looked at sweet pea, square in the eyes, you stuck out a hand which he shook, and penny handed you your serpents jacket.

~

You layed on sweet peas bed. Your head resting on his chest. You had an ice pack pressed up to your face to try and keep the swelling to a minimal.

There wasn't much to say between you two. Yours and his jackets were on the floor. You were sure there were still tear stains on his t-shirt.

Sweet pea hummed.

“I guess we’re now the serpent duo”

Y/n thought about it...”Maybe we’re more?”

Sweet pea looked down at you, seeing your eyes sparkle.

“Like....a couple?” his hands were clammy as he said it.

“Yeah” You smiled. It was a broken smile, but still a smile.

"like a couple P”

Sweet pea swallowed. He looked down at her. The way her head rested against him. Her breathing was calm despite everything she had gone through the past two weeks. Overtime she looked at him her eyes lit up, and the same for him.

“I think I love you”

you looked up at him, ���You..love me”

“Yeah...Ive always known...I just wasn't sure if you felt the same..”

“Of course I feel the same...We’re in this together”

You played with his fingers, grinning up at him.

You reached up and gave him a small kiss, before it turned into a more heated one, your hands went to his hair, as his hands went to your waist. You smiled while he kissed you jaw. “I’m sorry about this ugly bruise I caused babe”

“it’s fine...just don’t do it again I prefer your kisses”

You both laughed, before sweet pea went in for a kiss again. You sat up a little bit more before lying on top of him, but he didn’t mind. He dug his hands into your hips, as you stretched you hands behind his neck. You both stopped to catch your breathe. Sweet pea looked at you like you were the only person in the world, and you smiled at him. Just as his lips touched yours again, your phone rang.

You both groaned. “Fuckin’ hell I swear if that’s fangs” you heard sweet pea mumble. You slid off of his bed before grabbing your phone from your jacket.

Unknown.

You pressed the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

Sweet pea slid behind you. Neck nuzzled into your neck, he started to give you hickies as he tried to listen into the conversation.

“Hello Y/n this is Penny. Your debt isn’t fully paid”

[writeinspiration]

suggestions for a young writer? im 15 and i just started seriously writing about a year ago~ since then I've written mostly poetry but I really write other stuff like short stories or plays too! but i always have trouble making my ideas ideas into something and just deciding how or what i want to write. and i get so worried that i lose motivation! i think that i first want to tackle trying to make characters/a simple short story. advice, tips, or tricks? thank youuu!

Hi! I’m glad you’re ready to get started! Beingeager about writing is the best. Writing a poem is a lot like writing a shortstory, so you’re on the right track. Good writing is precise and almost lyrical.

It can be really difficult to maintain motivation.Most people will advise you to write every day, which is good advice, but it’sjust not always feasible. The more you write, the better you will get!

Personally, titles and concepts and characters areall equally likely to get me started on a project. A cool title might pop up inmy head, and then I develop what story and characters go with it. Or I’ll havea concept that I’ll develop and label. Other times, I start with a characterand figure out who they are and what they do.

Here’s my most popular post regarding charactercreation: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/158687382194/how-do-you-create-characters-or-do-they-come-find

Keeping motivated can be really difficult whenyou’re unsure of your capabilities as a writer. But the more you wait to putyour ideas to the page, the harder it will be to pick things back up. Onceyou’ve gone a week without writing, one more day seems like nothing. One moreweek, one more month… where does it stop?

I’ve seen people suggest leaving off in the middleof a sentence. When you do that, you are setting up for success. You alreadyknow exactly how that sentence will end and where it will lead. So once you sitdown with it again, you can hit the middle of the sentence without staring at atotally blank page.

I have a lot of different posts and tags that mayhelp you out!

Writer’s block and depression (1), and again (2), and some pick-me-ups (3)

First drafts don’t have to be good. 

Write a whole bunch of crappy sentences if that’s what it takesto get a good one.

Don’t let it get you down. Just get it done.

Your big ideas are worth pursuing.

This post in particular will likely resonate with you and how you feel right now: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately (full text included at the very, very bottom of this post)

More below the “Keep reading” line!

Important links:

Big projects on the way!!

Feedback survey for WriteInspiration & WriteInspiration product survey

IT GETS BETTER (now on Wordpress too!)

Feeling generous and want to thank me for my work on this blog? Then please click here and donate via PayPal!

You can also become a patron of me on Patreon.

Don’t have a dime to spare? That’s totally fine! :) Thanks for your support~!

Click here to get a random “Why Aren’t You Writing?” post!

You can buy my stuff!

Useful tags:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/young– stuff relating to young writers and characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/inspiration– inspiration

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/motivation– motivation

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/tagged/depression– depression

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/characters– everything relating to characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/writing+prompt

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/prompt

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/rapid+prompt

– writing prompts

Specific posts that address some of your concerns:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/144610505447/if-you-see-a-need-fill-it– If you see a need, fill it.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/152075979524/fuckyeahyoungadultlit-tachycardiia– diversity in YA lit

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately– starting to write

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131428782622/cliches-in-ya-romance– clichés in YA romance

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131034862609/lizardpeopledearreader-honestly-if-stephanie– There’s always someone worse.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/104205593649/jetpack-johnny-rose-for-a-tenner-actually– Curiosity is important.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/23740953643/setting– starting with setting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/151665809147/learning-the-essentials-of-plotting-your-novel– plotting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/149405245039/i-have-an-insanely-bad-time-writing-dialogue-any– dialogue

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/169191903744/behind-me-is-infinite-power-before-me-is-endless– possibilities

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/167418537238/startledoctopus-ronibravo-i-started-writing– any reason to start writing is a good reason

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/96119396642/cranky-crustaceans-pupukachoo– Pixar’s rules for storytelling

30THNOVEMBER 2013

QUOTE REBLOGGEDFROM BLOTS& PLOTS WITH 105,191 NOTES

Young writers should read books past bedtime andwrite things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing somethingelse.

— Lemony Snicket  (via blotsandplots)

14THDECEMBER 2012

The question for each man to settle is not what hewould do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; thequestion is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young manceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks hisconditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stoneof a solid and honorable success.

— Hamilton Wright Mabie

7THNOVEMBER 2017

PHOTO REBLOGGEDFROM FIXYOUR WRITING HABITS WITH 2,493 NOTES

[Image transcript:The Rules of Writing

1: Write crappy first drafts.2: Words don’t bleed. Cut them.3: Write now. Edit later.4: There are NO mistakes–only creative opportunities.5. Don’t think. Just write.6: Rules? There are rules?]

Starting to write:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately

deathtotheselfie asked:I’ve been trying to write for years. Unfortunately I’m very young and theschooling I’ve received on writing is nothing like I what I write about. I’monly 14 now, but little phrases and ideas bounce around in my head. Howeverwhen I write I feel like it’s not good or mature enough because of my lack ofexperience. I can’t tend to think of original plots as I’m just surrounded inother people’s work. Do you have any advice on plot development? And do youthink I should continue trying to write?

Hi! Your question makes me quite sad. If you liketo write, then you should pursue it. It’s that simple.

School doesn’t help much in terms of creativewriting. Over the summer, when I was little, my mom would make my sister and mewrite short stories. It kept me in the habit of writing even when school wasn’tin session.

(Wanna know a secret? I often got stuck halfwaythrough my story, so I’d coerce my sister into showing me hers. Then I wouldwrite the same events but in my own words. I did this for quite a while onesummer. Maybe two.)

Not only does school keep you ridiculously busy,but it also doesn’t like teaching creative stuff much either, because math andscience are deemed as more important than anything related to the arts.

All those negative voices banging around in yourhead along with all the good ideas you have? You need to learn to silence them.Those things are what you are being trained to think.

Here’s what nobody seems to know about writing:you have to start  somewhere. No one starts off as an amazing writer.

People expect writers to have this magical well ofintuition, but honestly, it just comes from practice.

You know that thing about practicing 10,000 hoursin order to become a master at something? It applies to writing, too.

Writers write.

You need to watch and write things down–what youobserve can be the basis for characters or plot or whatever. Eavesdrop on astranger’s phone conversation to get a peek into other people’s lives. Sit on abench in the mall and watch people go by.

Do you know how babies learn? They observe otherpeople doing things and then try to mimic them.

I don’t mean that fledgling writers are babies, ofcourse, but I mean that you can get your best work by reading other people’swork.

Figure out what you like to read, what you don’t liketo read. And then ask yourself WHY.

What is it about that book you hated? Was it thecharacters? The plot? The slow story-telling?

What did you love about that one book? How did itmake you feel? What parts made you feel that way?

I was in middle school when I began reading a Series of Unfortunate Events  (I’m25, for comparison’s sake). Do you know what my writing sounded like while Iwas reading those? Lemony Snicket. It wasn’t on purpose, but that’s just whathappened. (Also for comparison’s sake, I now have had a short story publishedin an actual anthology and completed a 60-page poetry collection as my creativethesis, as well as a book that I’m trying to get published.)

The more you read, the more you gain. If you readenough books, then you’ll have influences from all over that create a uniquewriter: you.

You are the sum of everything you have ever reador seen or thought about.

Yes, you’re a teenager. But that doesn’t stop youfrom observing the world and teaching yourself to understand other writers’work.

If you want to write something but are worriedthat it sounds too much like somebody else, then figure out why it sounds thatway. Is it just you that thinks it sounds that way? Or do other people tell youthat as well? Find out what it is that makes it sound like that. Is it thenarration? The plot? The themes?

Regardless of your answers, you are able to makeit unique to you.

You are a writer, and whatever you write will beyours and yours alone.

As far as plot development goes, I find thatoutlining helps. I don’t always keep to the outline, but askingyourself “Then what happens?” after each event that you write down is thebest thing you can do for yourself.

A plot is a series of events. If you know whathappens naturally after something, then you write that down. It also helps ifyou understand WHY something happens.

She goes to the mall.

Then what happens?

She ends up going home and crying in her room.

Why? What caused this? What physical actionscaused her to want to leave the mall? What mental actions occurred because ofthe physical actions?

She runs into someone she used to be best friendswith, and they get into a fight. This makes her feel disappointed in her friendbut also unsure of herself because she doesn’t know what she has done to makeher friend act that way. She places the blame on herself instead of on herformer friend. This is because she has been told growing up that everything isher fault and that her younger brother can’t do anything wrong.

See what I mean? And it’s okay to ask yourselfwhat you would do in that situation. But your characters are not you. Theyprobably won’t react like you would. And that’s okay and important.

As I told my students last year, ask yourself WHYand HOW after each sentence, after each paragraph, after each plot point, aftereach whatever. It will keep your story going until it reaches its naturalconclusion.

Okay, this ended up being way, way longer than Iintended it to be, haha. But I’m completely serious and obviously verypassionate about this. And I can say way more on the subject at the drop of ahat, so if you have any more questions, then just give me a shout. :)

Best of luck. And don’t stop writing.

I mean it. :)

[fuck-customers]

This is going to be a bit lengthy, and even though it was a small purchase and only a few bucks, I caught a scammer and im proud of myself. Plus the whole thing was insanely extra and annoying so I’m just gonna share it with you.

So onto the story…

Last night I was working a closing shift. Around 8 (2 hours before closing), a woman and her son come up to my register to check out. At this point there are no other customers. She has 12 red mangoes, and that’s all.

I go to ring them up but halfway through me typing the produce code for them, she asks, “these are the ones that are $3 for $1, right?” So I pause mid-code type, change it to a price inquiry, type it in, and inform her, “errr, no, they'e 88 cents a piece.”

Sooo… here’s where it gets good. We’ll refer to my coworker in produce by the name “Richard”. It is extremely important to note that Richard always wears a black company hat while on the clock. Next to no one else does this.

She tells me, “well Richard over there in produce said they were 3 for $1.”

Okay… at the time I wasn’t really thinking about it, but looking back I think my subconsious kicked in and smelled something fishy. Here in good old Colorado, and at my store, mangoes are never 3 for $1 unless we’re having one of our special 3 day sales… in the summer. They haven’t been that cheap in I don’t know how long, and my 2 year anniversary is in February, so I’ve been there long enough to know about that. Additionally, There’s been no other customers coming up with complaints about the price, which if it’s wrong, mangoes are popular, so I would have heard about it by now. And it was the last day of our weekly ad cycle so, what even?

So as a recap - at this point, I have a woman and her son at my register, claiming the mangoes are 3 for $1, and she’s specifically using an employee’s name to convince me she’s right, but I am doubtful. Already the beginning of a good scam story, right?

Well, here’s where it gets even better. Let me tell you how our conversation went.

Her: Richard in produce said I could have them for 3 for 1.

Me: err, okay well let me call and see.

Richard (over the phone): hello?

Me: hey, man, so what’s going on with the mangoes? Like, What price are they back there?

Richard: um… 88 cents. Wait… let me double check and look at organics too hold on.

Me: okay. *puts down phone and turns to woman* well, he’s saying they’re 88 cents a piece as well but he’s double checking.

Her: well I just talked to Richard back there a minute ago! Richard told me that I could have them 3 for $1. He was wearing a hat! Richard told me that was the price!

Richard (calling me back on the phone): yeah the regular ones are 88 cents. Organic 98.

Me: and there’s no sign anywhere that says 3 for 1? I have a woman up here saying that you said she could have them at 3 for a dollar. 

Richard: ..no? They'e 88 cents.

Her: Richard back in produce told me!

Me, knowing I was speaking to Richard but asks anyway: right uh.. is this Richard?

Richard: yeah..?

Me: well there’s a woman up here claiming that YOU told her that the mangoes were 3 for a dollar.

Richard, annoyed: is it (brief description of woman at my register)?

Me: yes.

Richard: I saw her in my department but she didn’t speak to me. I haven’t talked to anyone. I’ve been on lunch for the last half hour.

Me: okay, thank you. *sets phone back down, turns, faces woman, and looks her right in her eyes*

So I just got off of the phone with Richard, and he says that he didn’t tell you that, and that he’s been on lunch for the last half hour.

— so at this point she seems to understand that her scam isn’t working, but refuses to back down. At this point in getting a line but I’m INVESTED in this at this point, and there’s nothing I can really do at this point anyways because she won’t back down, so i am stuck there while she changes her scam from “Richard in produce told me” to now we are at -

Her: *turning towards the store and looking around* well it must have been somebody else then!! Who was it? I know he had a hat…

Me: …right well, Richard is our produce manager, sooooo….

She begins scanning the store for employees to pin this on, but hilariously, since she picked 8pm on a Tuesday night, the store is practically a ghost town void of both customers AND employees. Literally the only other employee that she can see besides me and Richard is a guy working in the meat department back room behind a glass wall.

Now, the thing is, is that the meat guys basically never leave their area, and they don’t rove the floor either as right next to the meat counter there are double doors leading to the back room. While they do face produce, they’re not exactly close to it. They have a coffin case in between them, and the doors for the back room that produce uses are literally on the opposite side of the store that meat counter is.

To her credit, I think the woman knew that trying to pin it on the meat guy, Who actually conveniently was wearing the same color and type of hat as Richard was, was ridiculous and wouldn’t have made any sense because she didn’t try to blame him for this. So not as stupid as you’d think, but still pretty questionable.

Anyways, I feel like at this point ive done all I can do, and she STILL won’t leave or accept me all but calling her a liar (all over wanting to pay $4 for almost $11 worth of mangoes, like really lady if you'e gonna pull a scam do it for something that’s WORTH IT), so i call the manager on duty.

However, I was trying to get to the MOD before this woman did, because in MY EXPERIENCE scammers and liars will absolutely talk and walk all over you as soon as a manager shows up and lie to their face - and unfortunately managers always believe the lies and get away with it. I knew if I was able to explain the situation first, it would be different - given that my current manager WILL bend rules, but is also known to stick up for us cashiers.

Luckily, I spot her pushing a cart down an action alley towards us, so I book it over and explain everything as fast as I can. At the end i say, “but you know, She’s…” my manager tries to finish, “She’s being rude?” But I reply, “She’s lying is what she’s doing. She’s lying.” And my manager says “oh, okay. Call (supervisor) up here to deal with the lines.” So I do, as at this point we had accumulated a long one.

So she walks up and asks this woman what’s going on, and in the SNOTTIEST, RUDEST tone she says, “Who are you?” It kind of surprised me because at this point while the scammer was being mind numbingly annoying, she had been reasonably polite, so for her to get so hostile over a manager kind of surprised me, but at this point, thank god, said manager was in charge and dealing with it now.

I took care of a few other customers while they were talking, and as soon as my line was done i excused myself and hung out by my supervisors register, which happened to be close enough to listen but far away enough to not be involved.

And I can hear what they'e saying - my manager having been informed of the scam, is holding firm on the 88 cent price, and the woman, for some unfathomable reason, is still insistent on the price. I think at this point she knew she was caught and was trying to leave gracefully by making it seem like a mistake, but it was really annoying.

Her: it must have been in the online ad.. unless the online ad is wrong.

Manager: they haven’t been that price for a while, MAYBE it was like that 2 weeks ago… (so not in any recent ad she might have “gotten confused” about.)

Even better was that… now, I didn’t find this out until afterwards as my supervisor started to ask me what was going on and since I was explaing it I didn’t hear this part of the drama… but my manager came up to me afterwards after she was done talking to the woman, that apparently the woman switched tactic again, never mentioned Richard, and instead said that she had called the store and asked about the price and whoever was on the phone, was now the magical entity that told her the mythical price of 3 for $1

Absolutely fucking hilariously, said manager said that she had gotten a call like that, answered it herself, and knew for a fact that she did not tell this woman they were 3 for a dollar.

Fucking OH MY GOD WOMAN, you got caught! It’s been obvious for the past 10 minutes that you'e not fleecing any of us! You can save yourself the most dignity by just… FUCKING OFF!

The whole thing was super obnoxious, but handle-able and im proud of myself for sticking to my guns and glad that my manager backed me up and stood firm, as orginally, before i said that the woman was lying, she started telling me to just give them to her for that price. So it was nice that she took me seriously and stood her (our) ground.

The only frustrating thing is that since I have borderline personality disorder… I’m not afraid of confrontation by any means (obviously) but sometimes my body overreacts to my emotion as well. So while I was keeping a cool and level head on the outside (believe it or not) my body was giving me away… my face was flushing, my voice was uneven, my body became stiff and weird and gangly, on top of shaking… too much adrenaline. But other than that I’m happy on how it worked out. Luckily I think my supervisor saw I was a bit jittery and sent me on my break to cool off.

And may I also say, that there’s few other customers that I hate as much as ones who name drop when the person they’re naming didn’t do what they claim they did. Richard seemed mad but cool and collected.. I know if someone did that to me like she did to him I would be stomping over and being like “she said WHAT now? No I did NOT!!!!!!” Back tf up. But that’s just another reason I don’t wear my name tag… can’t use my name if it’s not broadcasted!

But anyways kids, just keep in mind that name dropping is actually a really common way of scamming, it gives the illusion that they really did talk to someone when they didn’t. So it never hurts to double check with that person.

[imnot-reddieforthis]

“Promise to the universe"🌌 part 3

part 1 , part 2

note: last part , gonna scream 😂

taglist : @ashlynstyles1 @sassy-molassy

 Richie Tozier is 23

———————–

White walls surrounded him as Richie’s eyes opened . It seemed to him like he slept for a day straight and at the same time he felt exhausted . His head spun as he looked around the room slowly feeling the sheets under his hands only to find a needle stuck in his hand . He groaned sitting up in the bed , and then falling back down with a quiet scream as he felt pain in his lower abdomen .

The beeping machine that registered his heart rate went up as he sat again , this time slowly, kicking the sheets off only to find a bandage covering a part of his stomach .

“What the actual fuck?” , he whispered softly touching the bandage .

“That’s exactly what we hoped you would explain to us , because your friend didn’t seem to know”

A young woman in a Doctor’s lab coat stood in the door way , her black hair put into a pony tail as her brown skin shone beautifully in the mid afternoon sun which shone through the windows.

“My friend?” Richie asked looking up at the woman , she couldn’t have been as few years older than him .

His mind went through all of his friends . His ex Alyson , his fried Ryan , Tina , Casey . None of them were with him last night as he remembered . He was drinking alone , at the bar on his and Eddie’s anniversary .5 years later like fucking clockwork he ended up at the same bar , with the same bartender listening out to him but he never ended up in the hospital after that . This was definitely something new .

“W-what happened to me?” , he stuttered , an image of Bill coming up in his mind for a second before moving back to the huge ass bandage on his stomach . Or maybe it was lower abdomen ? He didn’t know , but the bandage was fucking huge .

“You were stabbed , a multiple times . You were lucky to live , your kidney was ripped so we had to place you for a transplant right away” she started , flipping through the papers on her clipboard .

Before he could ask anything else she continued.

“You really should thank your friend who brought you in . Once again , you’re lucky you have compatible kidney types , else I don’t know what would even happen to you” she said , taking a deep breath and quickly exhaling . She moved closer to Richie’s bed , her eyes full of thought as she sat down on it .

“You’ve been out for quite a while , you’re healing wonderfully though , so you’ll be out in maybe a week . You owe that guy” she finished , as she looked into his eyes , shaking her head at the look of pure confusion in his eyes . She stood up fixing his IV ,before making her way out of his room , her heels clicking on the floor .

A million questions ran through Richie’s mind as he laid in bed . First of all who the fuck stabbed him? But what confused him even more was who the hell did he get his transplant from ? What friend brought him there ? And why did they just give away their kidney for him ? He knew for a fact that none of his current friends would ever do it for him , so who the hell was this “friend”?.

He laid there for another fifteen minutes before his ever curious brain took over the actions .Very slowly he stood up from his cot , sweat lining his brown as he took a deep breath holding onto the bedside table as he stood up , quickly switching his hand to hold onto the IV .

The hospital smelled sterile as he made his way through the empty corridors trying to find an information desk anywhere nearby . As he passed the door next to his closer , a faint voice of the doctor who visited him before and some male voice caught his attention .

“I am a doctor , thank you very much . I know exactly what I’m doing”

The voice sounded alarmingly familiar as Richie stopped eavesdropping on the conversation as the woman tried to talk some sense into him.

“I need to see him” he caught as the door opened and the woman whom he met before stormed out.

“There he is”

She made her way out of the door , giving Richie the full view of his saviour .

And that’s when for the first time Richie felt like he was either gonna puke, scream , pass out or do all of those things at the same time . Because there, pale and with eye bags under his glowing , doe like eyes sat Eddie on his own identical to Richie’s bed .

His eyes were puffy and red but for fucks sake , Eddie was the most beautiful boy man Richie has ever seen .

Completely ignoring the pain Richie edged closer to Eddie’s bed the fastest he could as the man in front of him stood up , his legs shaking . They met in the middle , half way through . Richie slammed the door closed as he ripped the IV from his hand , leaving him standing all on his own in the middle of the room . Eddie gasped as he gripped Richie’s hands to keep him steady .

“Are you an idiot?” Eddie screeched and Richie could already feel the hot tears stain his cheeks as Eddie’s hand went up to Richie’s cheek .

“What are you doing here, Eds?” Richie asked , pulling his face away from Eddie but unlike last time Eddie’s hand didn’t falter forcing his Richie to look straight into his big , brown eyes.

“I know she made you do it” he finally answered , biting his lip . Making a groan start to build up from the inside .

Richie looked down at the floor as tears fell onto his bare feet .

“Answer the question , Eddie” Richie asked weakly , trying to keep his voice as steady as possible but only failing miserably .

“Just moved , went to get drunk, found you stabbed in the alley behind the bar and took you here” he answered quietly , pushing Richie’s head up to look him in the eyes, again . Something Richie couldn’t do all those years ago . Richie stayed quiet as he started into Eddie’s warm and determinate eyes.

“They said that you had only one functioning kidney due to another kidney failure before and they said” Eddie gulped , a shaky breath escaping his lips as his eyes filled with tears , threatening to spill , “ they said that you were going to die Richie , so I , I just said “take my kidney!” and they did, I was kind of surprised to be honest , that’s not how its done where I have my internship but I mean-”

“Jesus Eddie Spaghetti , just shut up and kiss me already” Richie whispered into Eddie’s ear as he leaned awfully close, the pain eating him up but he didn’t really care .

Just like when they were only teenagers Eddie didn’t need to be told twice as he grabbed Richie’s face , ripping his own IV out of his hand as he stood on his tip toes and kissed him . Not the kind of kisses they shared in the car or in Eddie’s bed , no . This kiss was like a gulp of air, like fresh summer rain , like wind finally rushing into Richie’s lungs . For the first time in years he felt alive and right then he knew that Eddie felt it too as their salty tears mixed in their kiss and they both smiled , soon erupting into full on laughter, slumping onto Eddie’s “too small for two grown ass men” cot , Eddie’s hand back in Richie’s hair, Richie’s fingers tracing Eddie’s now sharper features .

Only Richie was wrong about his whole entire story. Eddie wasn’t his end because Eddie would never leave him . Eddie wasn’t his middle because Alyson and others were .

Eddie was the beginning , always the begging of something new , of something old , of life , or death , of love , of heartbreak and so many other things . He was the love of Richie’s life . And has been ever since they were just two stupid fifteen year old boys kissing behind the bleachers , too afraid to let anyone know about them . Eddie was Eddie , his past , his present , his future .

Maybe the universe did hear them after all , maybe it wasn’t even universe’s work. But despite it all , Richie had a good feeling about their happily ever after.

[modiintrainguy]

Is it ADHD. What is it ADHD? What is this. What?

August 3 2020

?

It’s been a while as the cliché says.

I guess I’ve avoided and my heads been a whoosh and ive not been able to focus or /and I’ve felt like ive not had the time even though I obviously don’t spend all my time doing what I should be doing and not relaxing or taking time out.

Also. I’ve almost not taken the train at all since January. The train was my writing space. It used to be the place. But now im on the bus. And then of course there was lockdown for 2 months when I didn’t even go to work. And now I only go twice a week.

Let’s do some subheaders. Its 8.35 am im on the bus. Ive got about 25 minutes.

1.  ADHD Coaching

So yeah ive been meaning to write a short summary each week. Then I don’t.

So lets see what I can remember from my zoom with the coach on Wednesday. It was tishabav and I thought I was fasting. I mean I was fasting and then I ate before I went to bed for obvious reasons. And then I didn’t on Thursday morning.

But what did we talk about and what conclusions did we come to?

God I need to get the notes from him. He writes down everything I say. I need to review it regularly.

So.

Er, ah yeah. I went through a list of things I sent on wasup.

a.       My confusion about decision making that Friday morning when the day before I had arranged that A should bring R round to play with the girls but then thelittlun woke up at 7.30 and said she wanted to go to the beach and I was like great I’ll tell A. I knew she might not want to or be able to go cos she would need to be home by 12pm but I texted her anyway and I felt elated about going to the beach. But then she called and said she cant go to the beach and R will be very disappointed. And I got so confused and in the end I went.

 And we talked about how I just looked at the negative from the decision. That I saw it was bad to go but bad to stay and go to ben shemen. But I need to be rational and realise no choice will be perfect. There will be bad and good in every choice. So u just need to decide. One or the other and accept that there are negative things in both but it doesn’t mean the other choice was right.

I had a similar feeling on Thursday when I picked up the girls from C and I had agreed to go to the center of town with A and her girls but I was “Fasting” and impulsively didn’t want o go. and then R said she wants to come to our house and the littlun wanted her to come and then I invited R and S and M and A and then I was stuck. And A came late to pick R up from C, like 10 minutes, and it was a stress. I was like come over and then inevitably I spent the journey home thinking I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have forced R to come over and I needed the space and fresh air after being at home all day. And then and then and then it was fine and R appreciated it.

Can I do it? Can I calm and see the trees from the wood?

Other things discussed:

b.       The argument/discussion with thewife about what to do on the Thursday of tishabav – should the girls go to C? or come to the hospital with us. In the end we got to the right decision.

2.  Work

Really really whats the stress all about. I was watching the beginning of a movie just last night with a scene showing a guy coming to work in the morning. He seemed fresh and when I was driving home I was thinking I wake up stressed.

Like there is no  - this is today, im gonna try and achieve a, b and c. and then im finished. Its always like a rush to do as much on the long list as I can and then the feeling like I didn’t complete what I should and then im worried that Im late and I cant relax in the evening and then in the morning I need to get in as early as possible cos im behind.

I need realistic understanding of what I should do and when I should do it.

After my weekly with Eyal I didn’t get close to that cos I just list X, Y, X, A, B C and im left with an unrealistic list and then its like I need to try and do as much as I can but then it means I wont finish it so there will also be things I need to and should do that are still on the list and I never feel like I can relax cos im always behind.

So whats the answer. Realistic daily planning in the morning.

Can I do it? The reason I don’t is cos the planning seems to end up taking up too much time. Can I do it quickly? Can I write this blog quickly

Not really. But its essential.

3.       Life

That’s the connection with the life. Like why don’t I get on top of the money? Cos it feels like it will take too long to organise?

That’s more of a part than I realise. A bigger part.

If I could relax and know I have time to do the washing up then it would be mindful like mrs says it is.

4.       Work-life-balancelife

Whereive I am Im always in a rush, worried all the time when ive realised ive been doing the wrong thing the whole time so ive been wasting time and now I wont be able to get things done.

I know I cant do everything. Need to plan things.

Problem is I review the plans and realsie I didn’t get it right. And the planning takes so long and then im in a mess anyway.

Thing is I went swimming on shabat and I took 24 minutes or so to do lengths and it took me back to the SBTc times when I spent an hour swimming trying to work out how to do what needed to be done. Ive been in the same trying to work it out situation ever since apart from that break between Cr and this job.

But then did it matter? I left and I realised I was focused on some wrong things.

I need to focs on the things that need to be done.

If there are too manythen I cant do them all.

Focs sake.

5.  ADHD drugs?

Get an assessment? ADHD centre in tel aviv? NShg? Fuck knows.

I guess Tuesday I make an appointment with someone.

Cos I need an assessment.

Although there is the question – if there is no physical biological evidence that shows ADHD isn’t all just a guess. So the test is do you act like X or Y. but theres no way of proving the reason you act like that is cos the way your brain is wired. Its just an assumption and a guess.

Is it true? Can it help. Will an assessment give me peace of mind. At least I can tell people I ��have ADHD” – but what does it mean? What Coach says it doesn’t matter about an assessment – the fact is my brain works in a certain way. Why is interesting and can help change it or help me learn how to deal with it but really its about accepting this is how my brain works and developing ways to deal with the situations like

-          Stopping me being impulsive and just doing or saying things without thinking them through (that’s hard eh)

-          Trying to look at things from different perspective

Just remembered the littleuns insight when I thought this guy had bumped into me on purpose outside littlerones gan and littlun was like maybe he didn’t see you.

And today when she said I shouldn’t throw things cos someone could slip on her magnet and I could have broken something when I threw the sandals. She was right so does that mean I sohuldnt have done it. Yes. Obviously. But its so recent I can feel how I felt and it feels like the only thing to do.

So maybe nows the time to analyse that situation – when I feel the tension and urge to throw. Could I have sotpped myself. Only reason I think no is cos I didn’t have time. And I felt it was the only way to show I cant deal with the sandals. I wanted to shock littlerun into stoppeding crying. And she did but then I felt worse and had to spend a minute apologising to littlun.

So whats the answer – theres almost always a spare minute or two to calm down. Almost always.

This doesn’t mean I have 5 or 10 mins or half an hour and hour. Although maybe I do.

But don’t spend hours on the wrong thing – focus on the right thing, get it done and then bish bash bosh. Move on. Be realistic about what needs to be done, do it as quickly as possible and then I can go home and go running tonight.

Yknow dat.

Gotta try and run with headie one even if he may be an anti-Semite.

Gonna get there at 9.10. leaving at 6.20.

Zehu.

UPDATE - 6.13pm

After an entire day, and maybe a week, of avoiding the relatively simple task of writing down exactly what is going to be on each of the sites in August I took the plunge about half an hour ago and started doing fbcom and lo and behold it wasn’t just easy it felt great getting clarity.

just goes to show eh. what i know is true really is true. it’s not a big deal. calm down, get the easy stuff out the way and then concentrate on the slightly more complicated but also easy and more enjoyable part which is the planning and editing and doing what the hell i want with these sites!!

is that the truth? maybe. gotta get the bus though. 

[necromancy-savant]

My opinions on every single Shakespeare play

Most of this consists of things I wrote down a while ago when I was reading a play a day so I could keep them all straight in my head, particularly the ones I’ve only read once. 

COMEDIES

All's Well That Ends Well – Forgettable and made me roll my eyes but still better than Love’s Labor’s Lost.

As You Like It – I’m left with a lot of questions at the end of this. Does Orlando know that Rosalind was Ganymede? If he’s friends with Ganymede now, won’t he wonder what happened to him? And shouldn’t he be friends with Rosalind knowingly before marrying her? Should a relationship be built on deception like that? I guess you could say the same about Twelfth Night, but Orsino finds out Viola was disguised before marrying her so actually no, you couldn’t.

Comedy of Errors – This might just be the silliest thing I’ve ever read but it made me laugh anyway. You’d really think they’d figure out they’ve been talking to different people by the end of Act 2 at the absolute latest, but whatever. The best line by far is: “If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.” It’s because she’s really greasy.

Love's Labor's Lost - So boring and pointless I almost couldn’t finish it. Literally nothing at all happens the entire time and there’s no reason for any of them to like each other.

Measure for Measure – Having already read Henry VI Part 3 a couple of times, this was déjà vu in the worst possible way. Plus the ending was fucked up in a whole variety of ways. Also, I realized I have no idea who the protagonist is, though I guess I thought it was Isabella. Other than the malapropisms (at least one character in this play should definitely have a Twitter) and the marriages, it’s hard to see this as a comedy. The aforementioned marriages are all fucked up in their own ways, except for Claudio and Juliet who were already pretty much married so they don’t count. Isabella should have stayed a nun and stayed single, and the Duke is totally the kind of guy who wants to think he’s a good person when really he’s an irresponsible douchebag. Like just do your fucking job instead of fucking with everyone for the sake of fishing for compliments or playing the hero or whatever.

Merchant of Venice – I might be able to like this if it weren’t for the worst anti-Semitism I’ve ever been exposed to. I like Portia; I kind of wish she was in a different play. I think Antonio and Bassanio should just be together, and she could be perfectly happy being single. This is one pairing I actually think is convincing, but to be fair I’m usually not particularly invested in the idea of anyone ending up with anyone.

Merry Wives of Windsor – I had high hopes for this because Falstaff is in it, because apparently Queen Elizabeth specifically requested more Falstaff, so in that regard she knows what’s up (I disapprove of the fact that she wouldn’t let Shakespeare perform Richard II because Richard II is wonderful). This was very silly but I thought the part where Mistress Quickly mishears a ton of Latin words was funny. Also there’s this girl whose parents each want her to marry a different guy except she wants to marry a third guy who she actually likes and he likes her and stuff, and her parents are like “you can’t marry him because he hangs out with sketchy people like Prince Hal and Ned Poins” and I just think it’s hilarious that they have such a bad reputation. After Taming of the Shrew I almost didn’t want to read comedies ever again but I’m glad I stuck with it because most of them really aren’t like that at all.

Midsummer Night's Dream – I love this and I can’t even explain why and I don’t really have a good reason for liking it; it just makes me lol, especially Nick Bottom. My favorite line is “In ten lines it is too long, making it tedious.” That’s a beautiful thing to say.

Much Ado about Nothing – I actually liked this one. It’s a tiny bit like Taming of the Shrew if Taming of the Shrew wasn’t horrible. I like that the leads have a healthy relationship based on friendship and mutual respect. They say they don’t want to get married because they just don’t want to have to settle for someone they don’t like enough, which I think is a good attitude to have cause it means they take marriage seriously, and they’re too afraid to be made fun of by each other to admit they like each other. Plus everyone likes Beatrice’s wit and outgoing personality instead of saying how awful she is and that she talks too much (for the record, Kate in Taming has waaayyyyy fewer lines than I expected her to have so that’s something to think about). I like how Benedick believes Hero when she says she was framed which was a pleasant surprise since I was worried he’d take Claudio’s side. It’s the part where Beatrice says “I’d eat his heart in the marketplace” and Benedick is on their side and doesn’t question or doubt them. And he and Beatrice were good friends first without being disguised as other people, except briefly but she might have known it was him. I like that he takes the high ground at the end by saying that it doesn’t matter what he said before and he doesn’t care what anyone says because he’s happy. And I like that he’s really, really picky about what he wants in a girlfriend but her hair color doesn’t matter. That was really funny.

Taming of the Shrew – Worst thing I ever read. First it’s all rape culture, and then it;s all abusive marriage. It has everything I can’t stand about certain kinds of modern comedies.

Twelfth Night – I didn’t think I’d like this one but I actually thought it was funny and really entertaining despite the fact that I don’t care who ends up together, so that tells me it’s doing something right. I also realized I remember whole passages that I had no idea I remembered from 8th grade.

Two Gentlemen of Verona – I don’t really have any strong feelings about this except that Proteus does not deserve a happy ending and I wonder what’s going to happen the next time he sees a woman other than Julia. But I guess that’s why they call him Proteus.

HISTORIES

King John – The whole thing was kind of just a will they/won’t they with the armies of England and France, but I like how extra Constance is, and Eleanor is pretty great which is why I’m pissed that she randomly dies offstage. Philip the Bastard is also an interesting character, but I still don’t really get how he walked into court one day a bastard and left it a Plantagenet.

Richard II – Love it; truly beautiful and tragic and has some of the prettiest, deepest lines I’ve read in Shakespeare, and it’s a reflection on the meaning of kingship that’s not seen elsewhere in the Histories. Richard is also not straight and seems kind of non-binary in the versions I’ve seen and I like that. Maybe part of the reason I like both of the Richards is that I see them as not straight. I know he’s no good at being king but I love him anyway. I didn’t think he was going to die though and was rather upset; when Bolingbroke was like “convey him to the Tower” I was like “oh shit, that’s where people go to die!” I mean I know they moved locations to Pomfret castle first, but that’s when I knew what was going to happen.

Henry IV, Part I – One of my favorites. I admit that at first I didn’t like Hotspur. I admit the most offensive thing about him to me was that he says he doesn’t like poetry. He struck the kind of person I can’t stand: loud, angry, annoying, and cares about things I think are stupid. But I’ve heard some different interpretations of his character, and I saw a production where he was really endearing and that got me to really like him. He’s a true chaotic good: he cares about justice first and doesn’t care who gets in the way of it, no matter how important they are. He really doesn’t deserve to die at all. Hell, he and Hal could probably be good allies if the circumstances were different. There are some really funny parts in this and Falstaff is great, and it’s actually really insightful when he says honor is a scutcheon in a way I wouldn’t have expected from him. Prince Hal strikes me as kind of a bro but he’s definitely more sympathetic for me in this one than the other two plays he’s in.

Henry IV, Part II – Honestly not much happens in this one until the end and I’m not sure if I can forgive Hal for what he did to Falstaff. The dude was so excited to go the coronation and see him and he was just like “I know thee not, old man.” It was cold, and normally when I say that I mean it in a good way but not this time. He was basically like “fuck off and die” and that’s exactly what he did. I’m not happy about that.

Henry V – I saw a joke summary of this that said “70% armed combat, 30% jokes” and that is completely accurate. This has its moments for sure. The comic relief characters aren’t as funny as Falstaff though, and I really can’t stand Pistol and couldn’t when he was briefly in the preceding play either. There are things I like about Henry V as a character, but sometimes I question his decisions. He manages to pull it all off somehow though, and that’s impressive.

Henry VI, Part I – I love this whole tetralogy. Joan of Arc was in this and that was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. York comes off as kind of a dick though. He and Somerset are the pettiest people ever. Plus I started to get some of Margaret’s backstory, and knowing what I know now I get why she’s so done with everyone by the time of Richard III. I still don’t forgive her for everything she ever said and I still don’t think she’s 100% a victim in all of this, but to be fair it turns out she is mostly a victim in all of this, and I get that she’s a bold person who’s willing to do what it takes to come out on top and survive, and this can be both a positive and a negative quality depending on the situation.

Henry VI, Part II – This one is largely about how York and Somerset’s pettiness almost destroyed England. Aside from that, this solidified for me that I really don’t like Henry, although Margaret continued to really grow on me in this one, and I feel bad for her that she has to put up with him and basically do everything for him. In spite of this, I find their relationship to be extremely entertaining. I like the part where she punches out the Duchess of Gloucester in front of the whole court and Henry’s just like “it’s whatever, she didn’t mean it” and the part where some guy fakes a miracle and they hit him to prove he can run away and Henry’s like “how could God let this happen?” but Margaret’s like “I thought it was funny watching him run away” (and I was like SAME; she really spends this whole play saying exactly what I’m thinking at any given time, particularly when it comes to Henry) and the part where they’re running away from the battle at the end and Henry can’t keep up because of fucking course he can’t and Margaret’s like “could you be any slower?” and he’s like “maybe we should just sit here and accept our fate.” He is such a wet blanket. I spent the whole thing yelling “Henry, what is wrong with you?!” at my book. While he’s not a terrible person he is mediocre and painfully stupid and I really don’t see him as having any redeeming qualities.  Also Richard shows up for like 5 minutes at the end to collect Somerset’s head and be called an “indigested lump” by someone he just fucking met, which incidentally is the same exact thing Henry said to him. Update: I finally figured out what it is I don’t like about Henry. It’s not even what he says to Richard in the Tower (that is not even half the reason I don’t like him, but for the record even if it was the entire reason it would be an excellent reason). It’s that I see him as childish and to me that’s an extremely negative quality, though I expect it’s also what makes him endearing to some people.

Henry VI, Part III – 10/10 I love it so much, I have a strong opinion on nearly every scene. Margaret is a badass in this one, Henry continues to be an ignorant, damp slice of bread, Richard is in it, and it has my favorite scene in all of Shakespeare when he kills Henry in the Tower, and another scene I love when he says “speak thou for me and tell them what I did” and then Margaret yells at Henry and says “art thou king and wilt be forced?” and her finest moment when she kills York, and the best piece of foreshadowing I’ve ever seen when Richard says about Margaret: “why should she live to fill the world with words?” Also Edward is a fuckboy and a bad influence. I’m ashamed to share a name with him. I kind of think he died of a deadly STD; serves him right.

Richard III – Favorite Shakespeare play, best thing I’ve read in a long time, and definitely one of the top five things I’ve ever read, especially taken together with Henry VI Part 3. It’s everything tragedy should be, parts of it are extremely relatable to me personally, I’ve memorized more of both plays than I care to admit, and it’s a good thing it’s short enough that I can read it over and over because that’s exactly what I intend to do. I don’t know why reading something about someone who makes all the wrong decisions would make me feel better about my life, but I think this is exactly what Aristotle meant when he said that tragedy should be cathartic. Also Richard is definitely ace as fuck and I will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise.

Henry VIII – First of all, Katharine deserved way better. Second of all, I feel like it really glossed over the part where he created the Anglican Church just so he could divorce her. Also there was some really shameless plugging of Queen Elizabeth at the end, so I’m guessing this was written during her reign, which would explain why Henry VIII doesn’t look as bad as he does literally everywhere else I’ve seen him (update: turns out it was written later). I seem to remember that he ended up killing Anne Boleyn and that didn’t happen in this play though I was kind of waiting for it to. I’ve really never read anything this positive about him, and that’s even counting the fact that he tossed Katharine aside after seeing Anne Boleyn once at a party. And I did find out that Buckingham’s real name is Henry, although it’s not like I needed another Henry to keep track of.

TRAGEDIES

Antony and Cleopatra – I really didn’t care for this one. Cleopatra seems like kind of a stereotype to me and I’m not terribly invested in either her or Antony. Romance isn’t really my thing unless it’s super compelling for some special reason or unless I like both the characters individually. This has neither of those qualifiers.

Coriolanus – I didn’t like this very much, even though it’s about Rome. Coriolanus is not a compelling figure to me; the whole premise is that he’s good at fighting but he’s also an asshole, and neither one of those things is interesting to me. Honestly the only part of this that isn’t extremely boring is Volumnia.

Hamlet – I hadn’t read this in a really long time and didn’t remember any of it, and I liked it more than I thought I would. It’s kind of gothic in a wonderful way, even though I know that’s not an appropriate term to use for something written at the time it was written. Honestly though, my liking for Hamlet as a character was severely diminished when he started making dirty comments to Ophelia, and she seemed way more sympathetic than I remember her being. The common theme in many of these tragedies seems to be a protagonist who is lost and overwhelmed and ends up lashing out because of it. The speeches in Hamlet are the best part for me by far, but yeah. As someone who likes language and anything dark, I like it.

Julius Caesar – This I quite liked; I think Brutus is a compelling character and it raises some interesting questions. It also contains the most passive-aggressive thing I’ve ever read. Although, during Act I when Cassius is trying to convince Brutus to kill Caesar, all I hear is “Brutus is just as nice as Caesar. Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, okay, people like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar.” Honestly I think Tina Fey purposely paraphrased Cassius’s lines when writing Mean Girls, which is pretty cool. I liked it when I auditioned for it and I’ve come to really love it, having been in it. I want to see more productions of this one.

King Lear – It’s grown on me over time, I guess. I do have some strong opinions on why Cordelia is actually kind of awful. I like Edmund and Regan and Cornwall, and Goneril have their moments, but none of these characters really get enough air time for me to like the play. What there is a lot of is Lear who is just depressing on multiple levels and his fool who annoys me with his overuse of the word “nuncle” even though I know it’s fairly normal for words in English to lose an /n/ at the beginning due to our articles like how “apron” used to be “napron” until people thought “a napron” was “an apron.” And there’s a lot of Edgar and Kent and Gloucester, none of whom I’m convinced to care about even though I have nothing against them. So overall I still think it is confusing and needlessly depressing, but I am slowly warming up to it. Like, I already know life is pointless, I don’t need something to tell me that like it’s some kind of revelation.

Macbeth – I really don’t understand Macbeth as a character. You think he’d be able to say “no” to murder seeing as he has no real interest in it. I don’t find it romantic at all that he does whatever crazy thing Lady Macbeth wants. I find it kind of disturbing, and certainly not something that reflects well on him. At first it seems like Lady Macbeth should just get rid of him and do everything herself if she’s going to be like that, and I don’t understand why she can’t bring herself to kill Duncan if she wants him dead so badly, and then she loses it halfway through the play and that’s always a let-down. Also isn’t this the one that has the line where it’s like “your father’s been murdered” -“oh, by whom?” and “what, you egg”? As funny as that is it doesn’t exactly speak volumes to Macbeth as having the greatest dialogue all the time. In conclusion, I want to like this play but I really don’t get what’s wrong with either Macbeth or Lady Macbeth and so I can’t really get into it.

Othello – This was always one of my favorites. I always thought Othello and Desdemona’s relationship was really beautiful and romantic in Act I but for some reason my liking of Othello never stops me from being intrigued by what Iago’s going to do next. There’s something appealing to me about being able to always say the right thing and having the self-confidence to make everyone do what you think they should do. That said, having now seen a Shakespeare villain who is manipulative (in an extremely different sort of way) but has motives and a personality, he seems really boring by comparison. I kind of get now how he’s just a plot device, and that does make Othello an even more sympathetic character. And it’s really heartbreaking how he thinks he’s not good enough for Desdemona and has to deal with his worst fears being confirmed after he’s had so much shit to deal with already. I think anyone would break.

Romeo and Juliet - I got tired of it a long time ago and honestly it’s not that good. It’s just kind of average. I get that people have to fall in love quickly in a play that can’t just go on for 10 hours but I still can’t bring myself to care about the characters. Juliet is mildly interesting but Romeo is just a boring person and I don’t care for him at all. Plus I feel like there’s a weird age difference between them considering she’s like 13 or 14 and he’s probably like 18. I’m probably just too ace for this play but I don’t get the appeal. (Update: I’ve now been in this play and I still don’t really get it. I don’t have anything against it but it doesn’t do too much for me either. I liked being in it a whole lot, but it wouldn’t be my top choice for something I want to watch).

Timon of Athens – I feel like there was the potential for this to be a good story about someone who kept giving people material things to get them to like him to the point of running himself into the ground (ha, literally) only to discover that doing that doesn’t actually make you real friends, but it never really came together for me. So good idea, not so sure about the execution, although my book thinks that Shakespeare only wrote part of it and Thomas Middleton wrote the rest so that probably has something to do with it.

Titus Andronicus – This has its moments but it’s not as violent as I thought it would be, which is not good for something that’s known for being violent. My first big problem with it is that Chiron and Demetrius get off way too easy. I was waiting the whole play for them to die horribly only to be let down. Being baked into pies hurts Tamora, not them, and I hate them so much that I’m out of fucks to give about her. My second big problem is that Titus is a selfish piece of shit. He fucking kills Lavinia because her condition is just too painful for him. He complains that he only has 5 children left but he kills two of them himself, on stage. I like Aaron in spite of myself, or at least I like a lot of his speeches; they’re a lot of fun to read. I was surprised that he wanted his child to live even if he couldn’t take care of it personally, but I have no idea how to feel about that because on the one hand I can see how it’s a redeeming quality, and so I like that there’s some effort to humanize him, but on the other hand I wish it was done a different way because that’s not something I have any basis to understand. All this said if I had the chance to see this performed, I admittedly would.

Troilus and Cressida – I’m confused because I spent most of this thinking it took place before the events of the Iliad when actually it was pretty much a different version of the same story, which is disappointing because as much as I love the Iliad, I already have the Iliad. As for Troilus and Cressida themselves, I was rolling my eyes when she thought she had to play hard to get, but then happy when he said that was never necessary and was just happy to be with her even though she thought she was embarrassing herself by expressing her feelings for him; he didn’t shame her for it and that perception was all in her head. But then she didn’t really have any choice but to go with Diomedes, so it’s not fair for Troilus to be mad at her. Plus they only just got together and they weren’t official or anything. He’s a bit of a dumbass, to be honest, even though he and Cressida have some sweet moments. I kind of like Thersites; he seems like my kind of guy. He hates lechery, doesn’t care for war, and thinks most of the Greek generals are full of themselves, which is pretty accurate. I like that he rejects the kind of masculinity most of them embrace where they just fight in order to get women. He thinks they’re the dumbest people ever for engaging in all of that, and frankly I think it’s pretty idiotic too. However, I don’t like that he makes fun of Achilles and Patroclus for being gay. There are already so many good reasons to make fun of Achilles.

ROMANCES

Winter’s Tale – I didn’t have any strong feelings about this until the end, but now I’m wondering where Hermione was for 16 years? I guess she stayed hidden somewhere, but how did she know when the right time to come back would be? Like that was some really good timing. I mean I guess I’m glad Leontes got his shit and part of his family together but to me that doesn’t really make for anything particularly memorable. And I don’t recall him actually apologizing to Hermione or Perdita, so he should really get on that.

Cymbeline – I wasn’t particularly expecting to like this, but I did. It had some of the same elements of the Winter’s Tale except it was way better and I liked the characters more – don’t get me wrong, it was still really…I’m not sure what the right word is, when all the male characters are assholes and they do awful things to Imogen and then she magically forgives them at the end, but at least I felt somewhat invested in her and her brothers, and there were some funny parts, but the part with the ghosts was really weird and I don’t know what to make of it. There are some weird parts in the Romances and I’m not feeling that.

Pericles – Not quite my cup of tea but I don’t hate it. I admit I don’t really like how it takes place over, what, decades? Plus I’ve never heard of this particular Pericles in my life. I totally thought it was going to be about the Athenian statesman. But I did like that it takes place partially in the Near/Middle East, even if it’s just the parts that were part of the Greek world (I’m guessing Hellenistic). But I liked the story well enough and I like that Pericles isn’t an asshole unlike Leontes or Cymbeline, and I like how Marina and Thaisa both were just dropped on a beach somewhere and by the time Pericles finds them they’re at the top of the societies they entered, and how the guy who was going to take Marina’s virginity was really embarrassed and gave her a bunch of money and was supportive when he found out she didn’t want to.

The Tempest – I actually enjoy this and I think it’s a fun play. Caliban is hilarious and I actually like that it turns out not to be a revenge story. Sometimes it’s nice to see someone be the bigger person and have everyone live, even if it’s not cathartic in the same way. There are some really cool interpretations out there but even on the surface I find it quite entertaining and I think there’s something to be said for something that makes me happy for no reason.

[sokuly]

Things about top surgery (will be a long post; hang on and read whatever topic you need)

I had a double incision mastectomy with free nipple grafts with Dr. Daniel Medalie on May 18, 2017. Here’s just some things I personally have experienced that may help others pursuing top surgery, wether or not it’s with Dr. Medalie. Before scheduling: I got into contact with Valerie, his receptionist. She’s very helpful and will try to answer any questions you might have. I live about 2 hours away from Cleveland, so it was up to me if I wanted an in person consult or just over email. I got my therapist letter and photos of my chest ready and sent out. Photos via email. The consult was $60. When I heard back, he signed off on my therapist note, and told me I was borderline for either surgery; peri vs double incision. He said he would need to see me in person to make that call, but it could wait until the day of surgery. I wanted to know what to prepare for so I went to Cleveland about 2 weeks after. I was not charged for this in person meeting. He told me he could do peri if I was concerned about the scars that DI would give, but he would prefer DI as he was worried about the extra skin. Ultimately it was my choice. I was hoping for so long I could get peri and not have scars. However, I wanted the most aesthetically appealing option. I didn’t want extra skin. I didn’t want “unknown” nipple landing, especially with the extra skin. I made my decision of DI, based on Dr. Medalie having more control of nipple placement, contour, and removal of the extra skin. I got home and pondered when to schedule. Before surgery: I scheduled about 2 months prior, and was hoping for a Friday date, but was told he doesn’t operate on Fridays so I took the Thursday, which was fine with me. I think it was about a $250 deposit to schedule. In those 2 months, it was more of me focusing on work and not really thinking of surgery, except applying for CareCredit. About a month out, my fiancé and I started putting some things together for the trip to Cleveland: food, post op care (light food like crackers, blankets, clothing, etc.), money, who’s taking care of the cats while we’re gone, and so on. We stayed at a Super 8 in Beachwood, OH (it’s like 10 minutes away from the surgery center and his office). We went to Cleveland the day before my surgery. On our way, the surgery center called to confirm my appointment, 9:15am and to arrive an hour early. We got to the hotel around 2:30-3:00pm. My grandparents and dad also came with us, different hotel room. They bought dinner. I couldn’t stop pacing. It was hard to get to sleep. Day of: I naturally woke up way before my alarm, but continued to force myself back to sleep; it was the last time I could curl up and cuddle with my fiancé for a while. I needed that time. But I also couldn’t hold still for anything. We got up, I got comfy clothes on (red athletic shorts and a purple button down flannel. I looked fantastic, trust me), and continued to pace. We headed for the surgery center at about 7:45. The things we took to the center: a comfort blanket (literally any blanket you really like), a pillow, and my post op vest (this is important!). We got there, I got all checked in and paid my fees. I sat down for like… 2 minutes and was called back. Usual questions, urine sample (which was collected in a styrofoam cup??), got told to strip down except for underwear. Which I wasn’t wearing. So that was awkward but whatever. Put on the gown and surgery socks. Nurse took me to my bed and kept asking if I was cold. Honestly I was burning up. She said that’s pretty usual, we come in burning up and leave freezing. She got everything ready to start my IV. She numbed the area, commented on how nice my veins are, stuck me and blew the vein. I warned her that my veins don’t take nicely to IV needles. She profusely apologized and felt so bad about it. I kept telling her it was fine and I was expecting it to happen the first time. Second numbing, second stick, worked. More apologizing. She went and got my grandparents first. Saw the anesthesiologist. Grandparents left and my dad and fiancé came back to see me. Dr. Medalie came back, drew on me, talked a bit, was on his way. Anesthesiologist came back, he was an odd but funny guy. Maybe I just get his sense of humor. We talked a bit, his nurse came with him and started doing her thing. Anti-nausea via IV, another anti-nausea medicine via patch behind the ear (I usually get really sick from anesthesia). And then some relaxing medicine. I was so out of it when it hit, I don’t remember much. Wheeled back to the OR and remember them having some issue with my left arm board. Then I was in recovery. Dad told me to wake up and I flipped him off. I asked the nurse for water. And then to pee. And then for a warm blanket. I was surprisingly mobile and awake for just coming out of anesthesia. The nurse helped me get dressed and sat me in a chair while my discharge was being approved and they showed my fiancé how to empty my drains. My fiancé went to get her car and the nurse loaded me up, pillow behind my back and seat leaned back a bit and even put my blanket over me after getting my seatbelt on. Got back to the hotel, dad watched over me while my fiancé went to get my prescriptions. She got back, I took a pill, I slept most of that day. My waking moments were spent snacking on crackers, my drains being emptied, peeing, and watching The Weather Channel. It was the only thing on TV I could focus on. Until I passed back out. The following days in Cleveland: Drains being emptied, peeing, Weather Channel, Percocet, crackers, Powerade. I got up sometime Friday evening and went for a short walk with my fiancé. Sleeping post op in the hotel I was in a chair that had a footrest. YOU WILL NEED YOUR OWN SPACE TO SLEEP. My body pillow was perfect under my feet since the footrest was JUST too low for me. Had a pillow under my back, decently sized light blanket over me. I sleep hot, so we just brought a light blanket from home so I wouldn’t overheat, plus a comfort thing. We left Cleveland Saturday morning. Back home: I was still sleeping in a recliner. Body pillow next to me for one arm and a pile of blankets for the other. Again light blanket. We brought the recliner to the bedroom before we left home so my fiancé could have the bed while also being there if I needed anything in the middle of the night. Still emptying drains. May 23, 2017 Goodbye drains: My post op appointment. Take your narcotic about an hour before your appointment or before you go! Being on the road isn’t exactly comfortable. Plus it helps with whatever pain you have during the drain removal. I had to pee by time we got there so I went and then was in the room with his nurse Mary and my fiancé. Mary is really cool and pretty funny. Mary opened my vest and the feeling of being able to breathe was shocking. I didn’t realize it was that tight. Off came the foam (and probably all of my chest hair) and I could see my chest for the first time post op! Seeing my chest: After the foam was off, I looked down and the first thing out of my mouth was “oh. Woah. They’re gone”. Nothing can really prepare you for your reaction. I thought I was going to be over the moon and happy crying like the other guys who posted their reveal videos. But I wasn’t. There was this relief. Realization that I closed a chapter on a part of my life and this new one just started. I was happy, but not how it was going to happen in my head for so long. It was just pure relief. It was flatter than I thought (later to realize it was just from all the compression). A lot less “I got hit by a train” than I thought too. Dr. Medalie came in after my drains were pulled (will be discussed soon) and basically said I looked perfect and was good to go. My next 10 days: I’m a day away from day 10 post post-op (a day shy of 2 weeks post op) at the time of writing this. I was still sleeping in my recliner for a while and just got back into bed a few nights ago, surrounded by pillows and blankets to keep me from rolling. My mobility has greatly improved over the past few days. I take ibuprofen for any pain. I use ice packs when I’m really sore. I take dressing changes seriously since it’s a short time I can breathe and move. After tomorrow the steri-strips come off and I’m done with this compression vest. I can soak in a bath as long has my chest is above water. I use a cup to wet and rinse my upper body and hair. I use baby soap. I’ve been able to finally lay on my side with great care in the past like 2-3 days. Take it slow! Let’s talk drains: They absolutely suck. I’m pretty sure it was the worst thing about this whole process. They’re annoying. They’re weird. They hurt sometimes. I was so happy to finally get them out. Which is also a very odd feeling. It kinda pinches, kinda burns, kinda hurts. I don’t know how to really explain it. My left one actually hurt coming out, but I had armpit hair caught up in the suture and all that. Take the narcotic before you get them out. I was told to do that, and I’m glad I did. How about those nips: They’ll look really weird at first. Like ghost nips. Do the dressings EXACTLY as Mary tells you. You don’t wanna lose them. My nips are starting to scab, blister, and peel. THIS IS NORMAL. Just keep them dressed as explained by Mary and the paperwork she gives you. I have limited feeling in mine; I can feel the outer edges but not much on the inside. It’s really weird, but also normal. Not about nips but: as your chest hair grows back (they shaved my chest) it’s going to itch like no other. Things I’m glad to have/have had: Pillow(s), comfortable blankets, laxatives!!! (MILK OF MAGNESIA. Do yourself a favor and get it), ibuprofen, Gatorade/Powerade, slightly heavier blanket for my chest (in case the fur kids wanted to love on me), body pillow, open front shirts (get a few cheap shirts/tank tops and cut them open in the front)

To keep from stupid long posts in the future I’ll update more regularly. Thanks for reading and I hope it helps! Any questions, please ask!

[teamkaiforever]

FRENEMIES                     -  PART IV

(Part I) - (Part II) - (Part III) Kai Parker x Reader word count : 2 308 *not my gif __________________________________

Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that things had gone too smooth a few days ago when Damon and Bonnie came for a visit. It wasn’t like them to give up so easily… and Bonnie giving Kai a chance ? That was unheard of ! She had had multiple opportunities to do that and she had refused. Kai was very nervous during the first week , isolating himself so he doesn’t hurt her but after that he started to relax and they returned back to normal or whatever normal they had. They grew closer with every passing day and Kai wondered more and more if Damon had been right - that they were in love. Y/N and Kai spent their afternoons together , either curled up on the sofa or just walking around town. It had been a big change from before when Kai thought she’d run off and leave him to spend eternity alone. After their surprise visitors had left and she refused to leave with them , he wondered a lot about what Damon had said… - It was early in the afternoon , Kai and Y/N were sitting on the couch playing cards. She was losing but didn’t care about it , there was something else on her mind. “Can you whoosh me on top of the clock tower ?” Y/N said breaking the silence. “I want to try something.” “Why ?” Kai asked curious. “Whats up there ?” “Nothing��s up there… I just …” she tried to find the right words to tell him , without getting him to freak out. He had been so over protective of her the past two weeks , she missed the danger and the adrenaline that came with living with him. “I want to jump from there.” Kai’s eyes widened. “No. No,  you are not goi-” “Let me finish.” she said smiling nervously. “You will catch me , I know you will … I just kind of … I need an adrenaline rush. Not sure how to explain it.” Kai chuckled. “Oh , I know whats going on. You miss me maiming and torturing you , is that it?” Y/N completely ignored his question. “So , is that a yes?” “No. It’s still a no.” he said , getting up. “I’ll put a boundary spell around the clock tower just in case if you are thinking about trying to get up there by yourself.” “Come on , Kai. Please.” she gave him her best puppy dog eyes pouty face she could manage. “You do realise if something goes wrong you will die right ?” Kai said getting up from the couch. “Nothing is going to go wrong. You will catch me. I know you will.” she said smiling. “How can you be so sure? What if you fall in the wrong direction ? Or some wind shows up and carries you meters away from where I am standing ?” Kai was pacing around , waving his hands nervously. Y/N looked at him wide eyed for a few moments and started to laugh. “What ? None of this is funny , Y/N , don’t you get it?!” Kai was starting to freak out remembering what Bonnie had said - that if she dies that’s it and he was terrified something like that might happen and it would be his fault…the idea sounded fun to him and if it wasn’t the whole ‘permanent death’ thing hanging in the air , he would’ve said yes right away but he didn’t want to risk losing her. Y/N got up and wrapped her hands around him. “No , its not , I know that.” she said , kissing his cheek. “You worry too much … Please ? Just one time. I won’t ask you for anything ever again.” Kai sighed , wrapping his arms tight around her. “There is no talking you out of this idea is it ?” She shook her head. “Fine. Let’s go.” he said giving up. They walked outside , standing at the street level looking up. “Wow thats high.” Kai said. “Too high. No , I changed my mind. You are not jumping.” he said , his arms crossed on his chest. Y/N hit him playfully on the shoulder. “Come on , it will be fun.” she said smiling. “You are crazy pants.” Kai said , looking at her. “Oh no … not the puppy eyes again.” he covered his eyes with his hand , slightly shaking his head. “Come on … please ?” she asked , smiling innocently. “I’m so going to regret this.” Kai muttered under his breath and grabbed her , holding her tight. “Close your eyes.” Y/N closed her eyes and in a second she felt wind rushing around them. When she opened her eyes they were standing at the top of the clock tower. Kai’s grasp on her had tightened. “Careful. We don’t want you falling before I’m down there to catch you.” he said worried. “Are you sure about this ? Really really sure ? You can still change your mind…” Y/N smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m sure.” “Alright then … just wait a few seconds , until I’m down there before jumping OK ?” Kai’s hands were shaking , he leaned in kissing her forehead before jumping down. Y/N glanced over the edge , making sure Kai was in the right spot. His eyes locked on her up in the tower. She turned her back to the edge , outstretched her arms , took a short breath and jumped. About 5-10 seconds passed , maybe less maybe more , she didn’t know , before she landed directly in Kai’s arms. It took her a moment to recover from the fall , Kai refused to let her on the ground , pulling her closer to his chest. He was breathing heavily , a few sweat spots on his forehead. His eyes didn’t want to leave hers , he leaned in and for a moment she thought he might kiss her but instead he just whispered to her. “Never do that to me again , Y/N.” he said , letting her down on the ground gently. As soon as she was on her feet , Kai pulled her into a hug , holding her tighter than ever. “I knew you’d catch me.” she said out of breath. “I’ll always be there to catch you…” he said softly. In that moment Kai knew - Damon had been right. He was falling in love with Y/N …

*a few days later*

They had went out star gazing that night , enjoying the clear sky with the twinkling lights of the stars overhead. Kai had brought a large blanket , spreading it on the ground for them to lay upon , and also a picnic basket packed with their favourite foods. “What’s the first thing you’ll do after we get out?” Kai asked. Y/N smiled at him. “I love how you said we… ” she said. Up until a few days ago he had always said ‘you’ , as if he was sure he’d be stuck there alone for all eternity. “I don’t know. Catch up on all TV shows on Netflix maybe ?” she said. “My life was so boring before I met you.” She snuggled closer to him on the ground. “I find that hard to believe.” Kai said stroking her hair. “There is never a dull moment in Mystic Falls… ” “What would you do ?” she asked curious. “I’ll go teach your brother some manners.” Kai said laughing , his expression changing to serious one in a split second. “No one threats my girl the way he did…” Y/N pulled away for a second , looking into his eyes. “Your girl ?” she asked smiling. Kai flipped her over on top of him. “My girl.” he said again. “I like you Y/N. As more than a friend… I - I’m not sure exactly what those feelings mean , but it’s the most real thing I’ve felt in my life.” he said , his hand reaching behind her head gently pulling her towards him , her forehead resting on his for a moment. Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. “I want to kiss you so badly …” he whispered his eyes locked on hers. “So kiss me. ” she whispered , feeling her heart beating faster with every passing second. “Kiss me Malachai.” He pulled her into a gentle kiss , his lips hungrily wanting more and more deepening the kiss. Their bodies pressing together , Kai pulled away from her just for a second to see her smile. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you again for so long …” he said softly , brushing her cheek. “You’ve awoken something in me , Y/N.” - They laid on the ground a few more hours until like 3am and that’s when Y/N saw it. Grazing across the night sky , leaving a large glowing in the darkness trail , was a comet. In all their time in the Prison World , they hadn’t seen this. 

Kai couldn’t take his eyes off Y/N and hadn’t even noticed the bright comet in the sky. He couldn’t believe they were there together , that she hadn’t pushed him away and he gotten to kiss her again , not just once this time. His fingers traced every inch of her face that night. He listened to her heartbeat when he touched her , noticing how it changes every time - going from a steady rhythm to a completely messed up one , beating so fast and skipping a beat every few beats. Kai leaned in , whispering in her ear while his hand slowly slided under her shirt , resting on her stomach , his fingers tracing soft semi circles across her belly button. “I think I am in love with you…” he whispered with a small smile. Y/N shot up straight sitting on the ground , her hand pointing at the sky. “Do you see this?” she asked suddenly. “Tell me you see this too..” Kai looked up , shooting up straight too. “Its a comet !” he said surprised. “How … how did we not know about this ?” he asked. Kai started thinking … a comet is a recurring celestial event. Bonnie must’ve used it to create the prison world , which meant they could use it to get out. “Wait …” Y/N said suddenly , turning towards him. “Did ..d-did you just say you think you are in love with me ?” “Um … yeah , but you are missing the point. We can use the comet to get out of here , without having to wait for Bonnie to come in a week and a half.” he said. “All we need is -” “Shut up , Malachai.” Y/N said knocking him on the ground pressing her lips against his , kissing him like never before. They could worry about the Ascendant and getting out of the Prison World in a few hours. Right in this moment all that mattered to her was Kai saying he is in love with her. “What ..what was that for ?” Kai asked smiling. “Did you just tell me to shut up ? It’s never going to happen , sweetheart.” Y/N pressed her index finger onto his lips shushing him. “I love you , Malachai.” she said , not taking her eyes off him. What? he mouthed , a grin on his face. His eyes suddenly glowed brighter than the comet. “I love you.” she repeated smiling. “Or did you think I’d let just anyone hold me the way you do and sneak into bed with me in the middle of the night , pulling me this close as you always do?” Kai smiled even wider and flipped her over so now he was on top of her. His hands resting on either side of her shoulders , bracing against the ground , his knee keeping her legs apart. “You love me ? … Even after all the horrible things I did to you?” he asked smiling. He felt as if this was a dream and he might wake up at any moment , it all seemed too good to be true - the girl he had feelings for had feelings for him too. If this was a dream , he didn’t want to wake up. “Well , no relationship is perfect.” she said sliding her hand on his back pulling his body closer to hers , her other hand tugging on his hair pulling his face closer to hers. “Kiss me … ” she whispered.

_______________

A month later , just as Bonnie had said , she and Damon arrived back in the Prison World to take Y/N away. They had expected the spell Bonnie put on her to work and send her to them when she died , except that never happened which meant they had to bring Kai back … “That’s where his apartment is.” Bonnie said pointing out a building a few hundred meters away from where they had arrived. Both of them entered the building , climbing to the 3rd floor where the door to Kai’s place was wide open. There was no one there. Damon used his vampire hearing to try and find them but all he got was complete silence. The next few hours they spent roaming the empty town looking for signs of them , but the entire place had been deserted. There was no one there except them. “I thought you said they can’t get out on their own.” Damon asked annoyed. “They shouldn’t have been able to ..” Bonnie said confused. “Well , they did. What are we going to do now ?” “I have ..no idea.” she said. ____________________ MASTERLIST March / April 2017 MASTERLIST MAY 2017 _____________________

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘