#ive had maggie for 2 minutes and if anything happens to her i will kill everyone and then myself

[outercrasis]

ALFRED HAS A GIRLFRIEND? I LOVE IT

[ynsimagines]

B!D Gets Tortured: Part 2

TW: Panic Attacks, Mention of Surgery, Mention of injuries

You woke up in the bed of the DEO infirmary feeling terrified. Your heart was pounding. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? What is it?” Asked Kara who was still laying with you. 

“It’s Henshaw,” you said panicked. “He’s still out there.”

Kara knew she needed to calm you down quickly so you wouldn’t injure yourself further. 

“We’re gonna get him sweetie,” said Kara.

“But what if he comes back for me? Tries to finish the job?”

“He wont babygirl, None of us are gonna let that happen I promise you’re safe,” She said kissing the top of your head. 

“Here have a drink of water,” she said helping you take a drink from the cup beside you. You had an IV in but Kara realized your throat was still probably feeling pretty dry.  You were trying to be strong for Kara, but you honestly wanted to cry because the pain was starting to get bad again, you honestly felt like you had been hit by a truck. 

“Hey kiddo,” said Alex walking back into the room. “Let me give you some more pain medicine,” she said almost reading your thoughts. 

“Honey, I need to speak to speak to Kara. Do you think you’ll be ok here by yourself for a few minutes? we’ll just be right outside.”

You nodded assuming you would be ok.

Alex and Kara stepped outside the the medbay before Alex began talking, “So J’onn and I went to speak to Lillian,” she said causing Kara’s eyes to go wide.

“I didn’t hurt her,” Alex said quickly, “even though I wanted to, but she told us the reason Cadmus kidnapped Y/N. Apparently they were trying to find out information on you. They kept trying to ask her who Supergirl is, about the DEO, even Superman, but she wouldn’t give them anything.”

“So that’s what she was talking about before she fell asleep she was saying they dont know anything,” Kara put her head in her hands. “I cant believe my baby sister risked her life for me, for what I do.”

Alex nodded, “I know it kills me too,” agreed Alex. Just then they heard your heart rate monitor start to increase.

You were beginning to hyperventilate. You’re panic attack had returned and you needed your sisters. Kara and Alex came running in, your eldest sister came to your side whereas Kara stayed back a few feet so you wouldn’t feel over crowded.

“Okay baby, I need you to breathe with me, take some deep breaths in and out,”

You followed her eventually managing to slow your breathing down, “good job kiddo,” said Alex going to check your blood pressure.

Kara then walked over to you and held your hand again, “I’m sorry,” you said feeling slightly ashamed of yourself. 

 “Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for. You just went through something extremely traumatic panic attacks are gonna happen,” Kara reassured smoothing your hair.

“How are you feeling now babygirl? Are you still in any pain?” 

“Not physically,” you mumbled causing Alex and Kara to look at you sadly. “I just feel like I’ll never be ok again.”

“I promise Kara and I are going to help you through this sweetheart,”

“ Were gonna be by your side the entire time little one.”

You nodded smiling slightly at your sisters words they were always able to make you smile for as long as you could remember no matter what.

“I’m gonna give you a sedative ok? so you can fall asleep again? Why dont you go home for a bit Kara? Get changed? Maybe eat something? I know you’re hungry,” though it seemed like a suggestion Kara knew if she disagreed Alex would make it an order. “I’ll stay with her.”

Kara gave you a kiss and went home Alex resumed her position taking your hand in hers, “I’m right here sweet girl, I’m not going anywhere” she said as you drifted back to sleep.

When you woke up Alex is talking with someone when you gain more of your wits you realize its your favorite detective. Your sisters girlfriend Maggie Sawyer. She is the first to notice you’re awake and her eyes wide, “Baby Danvers, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said coming to give you a gentle hug. 

You and the Detective were like sisters practically. She was devastated when she found out you had been taken. You were the kindest person she knew and didn’t deserve what happened to you she was so mad and part of her wanted to  teach Lillian a lesson herself. She would’ve come to see you sooner, but she had been busy out looking for signs of Henshaw.

“I’m not sure how much of an appetite you have but I brought some dinner for all of us.” She said. “I got you soup cause I figured it would be easy on your stomach.”

You nodded gratefully, you wanted to talk to her tell her how happy you were to see her, but you just couldn’t find the energy so you just ate your food in silence. Maggie noticed as well you just weren’t yourself. I mean she didn’t expect you to be after what happened what it was still hard to see a shell of the person she once knew.

After Dinner Maggie and Alex stayed a while watching Netflix although you still weren’t talking much only occasionally when needed. Kara came back after she had finished up Patrol/looking for Henshaw and was gonna spend the night at the DEO with you. Alex would go home with Maggie and Then come back in the morning. 

Alex checked on everything one last time before bidding you and Kara goodnight along with Maggie. Kara changed into pajamas before hopping into bed again with you, “You are so strong little one even stronger than me, I’m going to keep my promise. I’m gonna get you through this.”

“I love you Kara,” you said dozing off. 

“I love you too, Y/N” She kissed the top of your head.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x04: Silence the Whisperers - Analysis

How did everyone like the episode? As always, I thought it was really good. The first thing I’ll say is that there isn’t nearly as much symbolism in it as there has been in the past few episodes. Not that there isn’t any, but you know how the past few have just been ridiculously overflowing with it? This one just has less. It’s one of those episodes that’s more action-oriented and setting up for what comes next.

***As always, spoilers abound below for episode 10x04. Don’t read until you’ve watched!!!***

Opening Sequence:

So the song playing in this sequence whispers “1, 2, 3” over and over again, which I think it significant. I already talked in an Ask about the wheel decoration behind Daryl, and how I think it represents the death fake out arc, and may show that Beth’s arc is about to come back around. Beyond that, Ezekiel is sad, Magna is having some issues, and a tree comes through Hilltop’s wall.

Hilltop:

We learn that 9 people got trapped in a building when the tree hit the roof and it caved in. They got all the people out, but this could be part of the Hole in the Roof theory. As the episode proceeds, the noise from the tree brings walkers and they’re afraid the whole wall will collapse. It’s already been weakened by the tree and now all the walkers are pushing in on it.

This hearkens back to two things for me. The first is the fallen trees in Them, which I always saw as significant. The second is, of course, when the church fell in S6, bringing down Alexandria’s walls and letting walkers in in 6x08/09.

Why would that be significant? Well, I think it’s obvious why Them would be significant, yeah? I mean, it’s after the storm and the fallen trees that the music box woke up. So if you want to draw a direct parallel, you might argue Beth will arrive after the tree falls. Honestly, I don’t see this as a big enough event to herald that, but it might be one of many small events that lead to her. More on that in a minute.

And how about paralleling it to S6? The biggest thing for me there is that that was smack in the middle of Glenn’s death fake out. After the church fell and let the walkers in, Glenn showed up, miraculously alive, and reunited with Maggie. Just saying.

In terms of the plot, I’m wondering (and this is pure conjecture) if Hilltop will eventually fall too. The Kingdom has already gone down, and I wonder if HT will too, forcing the entire group together at Alexandria. I’m not at all positive that’s where they’re going, but it crossed my mind.

Because the wall actually does collapse, but Michonne’s group shows up to help fight the walkers, and they do talk about fixing it. So we’ll see.

Ezekiel:

Given all the messages and Asks I’ve gotten about this, I doubt I need to explain it in great detail. Zeke has always had heavy parallels with Beth. Just as Daryl and Carol are very similar, so Beth and Ezekiel are too. Here, we have him contemplating suicide, much as Beth did in S2. Much like her, he realized he wants to live. 

As I mentioned in an Ask, this happened on one side of the now-broken bridge Rick was blown off of. So that connects him to Rick. And he wore a green shirt (Beth). So I think that connects him to the death fake outs and this functions as a foreshadow of Zeke’s own coming death fake out.

He also rode a black horse. It ran by Michonne after he let it go. That made me realize something. It’s not anything groundbreaking, but just a detail I hadn’t really thought of before. We’ve always seen as white horse = Beth and black horse = Daryl. The white horse also = life or being alive. But I realized the black horse also = death, despair, lack of hope. That’s how Zeke felt here, and how Daryl felt around the time Buttons died. Again, nothing we didn’t already know, but I just hadn’t thought of it that way before.

When Michonne and Ezekiel talk, she says, “it never would have worked between us anyway. We’re both too stubborn.” He says, “maybe in another universe.” I laughed at that. As in, the comic book universe? It’s obviously the writers’ way of acknowledging that this is a nod to their comic book romance, but it’s not going to happen in the show. (Add that to the list of things TD has been correct about.)

Daryl/Lydia/Alexandria:

This was obviously the biggest story thread in the episode. And I gotta say, I loved it! Gauge and his friends are mean to Lydia and bully her. She talks to Negan about it more and more, which Daryl isn’t happy about.

I was laughing hysterically when Lydia butchered the squirrel in front of them. How much like Daryl is that? Like father, like daughter, I guess. She’s rebellious just like he is. Which isn’t surprising since they come from similar, abusive backgrounds.

Daryl is older and wiser now and advises her not to provoke them, but he himself would have done much the same only a few years ago.

The three bullies attack Lydia and Negan saves her. I gotta say, while I was one who thought it would have been more just for them to execute Negan at the end of AOW, it’s really hard to hate him when he’s being sweet to Lydia. While rescuing her, he accidentally kills the woman who used to be with the highwaymen.

So, remember in episode 1 when I talked about how Negan told FG he didn’t want people’s fear of the Whisperers to blow up in his face so that they blamed him and wanted to string him up? I said that was setting something up and this would happen eventually. So this episode is the fulfillment of that. It truly was an accident and he didn’t mean to kill her, but no way people are going to let it go, now. So Negan takes off.

In truth, I’ve been waiting for him to take off. I’m actually really excited about this story line. Remember last season when Negan escaped and left Alexandria for a while? Judith tried to stop him, and he took her compass? Well, he was only gone a short time, but during that time we saw tons of callbacks to Still, saw him run from dogs, and saw tons of other Beth-ish symbolism. We weren’t exactly sure what it meant at the time, but now I think we do.

That small excursion from Alexandria was a foreshadow of this one. He’ll probably be gone much longer this time and the arc will be much bigger. It’s important to note that we saw not only Beth symbolism, but also saw Negan drink bad water and throw it up. That hints at the radiation/helicopter group stuff.

So I’m not saying Negan will meet Beth in the woods next episode—obviously I’d be great with that, but I’m sure it will be much more complicated and protracted—but just that something about him leaving will lead to Beth. I’m excited to see how it all plays out.

When Daryl talks to Carol, she says all the drama in the communities—both the stuff with Negan and Lydia, as well as the tree situation at Hilltop—are distractions from the true enemy: Alpha. I know there are lots of theories floating around about Carol being the one to have let Negan out. 

While I don’t think we have much evidence of that either way, I certainly wouldn’t dismiss it. It would mirror her killing Karen and David at the prison in 4a. Not that the action is the same, but this wouldn’t be the first time Carol took it on herself to solve a problem in a less than ethical way, because she thinks it’s for the greater good. But no one knows for sure what happened yet. They didn’t tell us in this episode. So we’ll just have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, when Michonne and Daryl talk on the radio, she tells him to protect Lydia. She’s afraid that if anything happens to Lydia, or if she leaves Alexandria, Alpha will attack them. Yeah, once again, that’s a setup. Something along these lines will happen eventually and bring Alpha’s wrath.

Near the end, Michonne, Judith and Luke head back to Oceanside because Rachel radioed to say they thought they saw some Whisperers near where the mask washed up in 10x01. So Michonne is going to investigate. She takes Judith and Luke with her. Where Luke is concerned, I kinda feel like he might die. I hope not, but they sure focused a lot on him saying heartfelt goodbyes to his group (Magna, Connie, Kelly, and Yumiko). That struck me as suspicious. Like that group might not all be together again.

Details:

I won’t do a full details post because there were only a handful I saw worth mentioning.

When Lydia said Gauge and his pals deserved what she did (with the squirrel), Daryl said, “I get it.” Obvious Beth line.

When Siddiq had another freak out, he put his face in ice water. Not a huge deal, but another example of water helping to (temporarily at least) heal him.

When Lydia was in medical, talking to Daryl, we see a bunch of IV bags behind her. Just reminded me of Grady.

Oh, and Lydia played around with a worm when she was talking to Negan. (Worm Theory.)

When Michonne talked to Daryl on the radio, she told him to be her proxy for the vote. This really isn’t anything official, but that word caught my ear. It had nothing to do with Beth in the plot, but how often does TD, in our theories, talk about Beth proxies? And I don’t think I’ve ever heard them use that actual word on the show before. So it just got my attention. ;D

When Negan disappeared, FG said the guards reported that the keys were missing. Key Theory. And reminds me a lot of all the keys we saw at Grady.

When Daryl and Carol talked on the steps, Carol had an interesting line. She said, “it’s like time never moves.” I wondered if that might be a reference to the clocks without hands. She also mentions New Mexico yet again.

We see Michonne and Judith fighting walkers side by side. Just look at this. I think it might be a callback to when Rick and Carl fought walkers together (with guns in that case) at the prison in 4a.

Finally, this isn’t really a TD detail, but they’re definitely setting something up with Magna and Yumiko. Their relationship is in a rocky place, but I feel like it’s mostly because Magna is kind of spiraling. She seems angry and like she just wants to kill everything. I don’t know what they’re setting up there, but something.

When Lydia butchered the squirrel, which I already said was very Daryl-like, it specifically showed that Father Gabriel (embodiment of the Sirius symbolism/Beth) was watching her. I’m not entirely sure what to make of that, but I found it interesting.

I loved seeing Daddy Daryl taking care of Lydia. It’s really sweet and compelling. I’m enjoying his interactions with Lydia. I always feel like he’s on the verge of telling her about Beth. But alas, he doesn’t. At least, not in this episode.

Lydia said she let Negan out, though when Daryl confronted her, she admitted she didn’t. But she ultimately wanted to stay in Negan’s cell because she felt safer in there. It just occurred to me that she currently has a Morgan mindset (from 6x06) where she actually feels more comfortable in a cage. Just kind of interesting.

Ending:

At the end, they repeat the “1, 2, 3” song again. We see Luke saying goodbye to everyone, which I already talked about. Then we see Carol on the roof, looking at a map. (Maybe evidence that she’s systematically looking for Alpha?) Then we see Daryl scrubbing the graffiti off his front door.

Guess what? The vest is back! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

That’s super important, guys. We really haven’t seen his vest in a LONG time. It’s return now, with the missing wing on obvious display, feels really important. Like Beth’s return (the return of his missing wing, perhaps?) is just around the corner.

The camera pans around, showing all the graffiti (there was more than just the stuff on Daryl’s door). It stops on one particular instance of it. And, this might be hard to hear, but if you put on the subtitles, the song ends, followed by the sounds of walkers. Then the subtitles say that a Whisperer is saying, “Shhhhh.”

Yeah, that feels like a very significant setup. I feel like these first three episodes were really intros or setups for the season. Now we’re going to get into the meat and potatoes of things. You know, either really get into the Whisper War, or else something else huge is going to happen. And whatever it is, I think it will lead to Beth. I saw the last sequence of this episode as evidence that the arc where Beth returns is about to ensue. That makes me happy.

Okay. Gonna stop there for today. As I said, I won’t do a details post for this episode. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, I’ll do a post talking about where I’m thinking the events of this episode (such as Negan leaving, Michonne going to Oceanside, seeing Daryl smoke last episode, etc) might be heading. So it will mostly be a predictions post. Sort of. Stay tuned. ;D

[cocoisbestgirl]

Fanfic I can't think of a name for pt 13

    Xavier wore unfamiliar clothes. He was wearing a lab coat, and the dark spirit behind him wasn’t speaking up for once, that or the silence spell wore off. Though it didn’t even look like it was trying to speak.

    “Well, I know this is a very….unfortunate way to introduce well to some of you, myself.”

    Xavier cleared his throat, and looked down at his hand before looking back up.

    “Well, there is a way I can get every last one of you out of this situation, unharmed.”

    “Go on! Don’t just stop talking!” the silver haired girl screamed as she ran towards the bars. She could’ve reached Xavier if she was just a little bit taller, and her arms just a tad longer. 

    “Ahem, me and...well, a 'close friend' of mine have an offer.”

    “Listen gingersnap! You better keep talking or you’ll come out of here with one less limb!”

        “Bring it on you silver-zzxzzxxzzxzxjgft” Xavier shut the dark spirit up and looked down at the silver girl. Magda almost saw something in Xavier's eyes change for only a moment..

    “It’s called Project Goddess. Now, I’m not allowed to tell you much about what it entails for you all, but I can definitely say that you will all get out of here if you agree. I have the ability to sneak every last one of you out without leaving a trace."

    “Sign me up. I’ll do anything to get out of here!” The silver haired girl reached for Xavier.

“What’s the project about exactly?” Kelly asked.

“As long as apple pie is there Motiti will be there!” Motiti cheered, seemingly unaware of the current circumstances.

“Well, the project is mainly aimed to bring the Goddess back down to earth.”

“How?”

“I can’t tell you much more than that. I already said more than I was supposed too. Rest assured you will not be harmed, intentionally anyways. So, I’m going to assume you are all willing to join the experiment?”

“Get me the hell out of here!” The silver girl screamed.

“I have to go with Silver over there, I’m willing.” Kelly whimpered out as her body shook.

“Motiti is always willing to help out! Will there be pie?” 

“Yes, Motiti,” Xavier laughed, “All of you will get exactly what you want when you participate.”

    Xavier finally looked at Magda.

    ‘Anything I want? And freedom at the same time?’

“Yes, of course I’m willing.”

“Fantastic! I’ll just need a blood sample from all of you, I will warn you. I won’t be able to get you out unless you are eligible for the project, boss’s rules. Not mine. I’ll start with Kelly.”

Xavier went around collecting the blood from everybody, except for the silver haired girl, who had cut herself with a rock to get the blood herself. Strange woman.

“Well, I’ll be back in a day or two.” Xavier left and smiled at the girls on his way out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“This is bad this is bad!” Felicity paced her room loudly, “H-how on earth am I gonna tell Alan!? No! I can’t tell him he’ll hate me! Oh...what’s the use? He’ll hate me anyway…. I gave him the worst advice humanly possible! Now his girlfriend is missing, and I told him to ignore it! Gahhhhh!”

Felicity buried her head into her pillow, “I’m the worst. Just the worst. W-wait! If I find Magda,” She jumped off of her bed and paced faster. 

“If I find Magda, nobody will hate me! They’ll think I’m a hero! That’s it!” 

Felicity ran to her balcony door and swung it open. The scent of summer filled her nose. She looked down at the drop from her balcony to the ground. It was nothing if you knew what you were doing. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    When Alan woke up alone for the second time this week he finally began to get worried. 2 days was far too long.

    ‘I don’t care if I’m being controlling!' I need to know what happened to her. Alan got his uniform on and grabbed his sword.

    The streets were actually busy for once. People were talking, and children were playing. Everything was fine and dandy. Except for Magda.

    ‘Maybe Felicity is wrong! Maybe Magda wants me to look for her.’

    Alan continued walking the streets until a man ran up to him.

“Mr. knight sir, are you looking for the missing nobles,”

“P-pardon?”

“A few days ago two noblewomen and a servant disappeared!”

“What- What were their names?”

“Kelly, Motiti, and Madga Ellenstein, why?”

‘Magda? No… she can’t..’

“A-are you sure about Magda!?” The desperation In alan’s voice was clear 

“Yes! I’m positive!”

“Do you know anything about their disappearance!?”

“Well, I don’t know much...but I believe they could be hidden near…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Felicity kept walking through the town. It was a tiny village near the edge of the woods that surrounded finsel, and separated Finsel from other nearby kingdoms. The town was always quiet, nothing much usually ever happened. That’s what made it the perfect place for a kidnapping. Nobody would ever expect anything to happen. 

    She just didn’t know where on earth they would manage to hide people. Felicity hid her face with the hood of her cloak. She was near positive that nobody would recognize her even if they did see her face, but she wanted to be extra sure. People seemed to stare at her whenever she passed by. The streets were cracked from neglect, and grass sprouts shot up from them wildly.

    The town seemed business as usual. Nothing much seemed to be the matter, though she saw somebody exit the woods. They looked….familiar… ginger hair...whatever.

    Felicity walked around the woods for a good half an hour, without finding much of anything. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    “I spy with my little eye something…silver!” 

    “It’s my hair again.  Isn’t it, Motiti?”

    “You are really good at this game, Miss Silver!”

    “When you only look at one particular thing it makes it easy. Hey Blondie, how about you take a turn,” Silver pointed at Magda.

    “Oh um...I spy with my little eyes something….green!”

    “Something green huh?” Silver and Motiti looked around.

    Kelly finally perked up for the first time in hours, “Oh! Oh! I got it! It’s the leaf on Silver’s shoulder isn’t it!”

    “You got it Kelly!”

    The girls went silent for a few seconds.

    “Ya know...you nobles aren’t as bad as I was thinking you were…”

    “But Motiti isn’t a noble!” Motiti chimed in.

    “ Then I wasn’t talking to you!”

    Motiti whimpered and hid behind Kelly.

    “Uh...Listen I’m sorry…. Motiti. I’m sorry Kelly I’m sorry Maggie or whatever your name is!”

    Magda was going to correct the small girl, but stopped. She was already a bit too close for comfort with Silver,and the last thing she needed was to pick a fight.

    “Magda, How did your eye get hurt? That bandage looks brutal? Did it get cut out?”

    “Oh...no not at all. I...well somebody tried to kidnap me… so I fought back.”

    “Let me guess, you cried for help.”

    “No...I smashed him over the head with a teacup then beat him unconscious with one of my high heels.”

    “Whoa, not bad. Did he die?” Shana smiled at Magda, impressed by this hoity toity princess’s ability to actually fight.

    “I...never wanted to find out...so I didn’t really ask,”

    “Why not? If he tried to kidnap you wouldn’t you want to find out?”

    “I don’t wish harm on...anybody really, even though he was not a good person.”

    “We all have our moments, Magda.”

    “I’ve never killed a person,” Kelly looked at Magda.

    “Kelly, you are about to make me add another kill to my streak. I wasn't talking to you."

    “Silver,”

    “Yeah, Magda?”

    “Do you think we’ll get out of here alive?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “What if Xavier isn’t coming back?”

    “Why would he just snatch our blood and go? Makes no sense to me.”

    “What if he clones us, and uses our clones as puppets?” Kelly said as she stood up to stretch her legs.

    “Can you all lighten up, for like a minute? What are we doing here. Why don’t we at least try to escape. Just to keep our minds off of the horrificness of this all.”

    “Well, being taken to a lab doesn’t sound all that bad, I mean there should be a lot of people to talk too,”

    “And lots of yummy pie!”

    “Yeah, And maybe I can stop running away from everything for a while. I’d enjoy a break from it all. Hey, Magda ...what about you?”

    “I...don't ...I don’t think the lab will offer much for me. Everything I want..is back home.”

    “Ugh! Just when I thought I was starting to like you. You just wanna go home and be a nob-”

    “I want to see Alan….”

    “Uh...what? Repeat?”

    “I want to see Alan. I would happily give up my nobility to be with him.”

    “Ah...well you just gained back some points with me Magda. He’s the blonde guard right? You know blonde hair, blue eyes not really tall, but not short either."

    Kelly made a small chuckle.

    “Yeah,Yeah I’m short I got it! I’m a little garden gnome!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Alan ran through the small village on the edge of Finsel’s territory. His eyes scanned for any sign of Magda and the others. The townspeople held no useful information. Most of them were scared of the leader of the guards being in such a tiny town.

    Alan had been here before, it was when he was just starting to rise in ranks. It was a petty thief who had stolen jewelry, Alan had caught him quickly which helped his prestige slightly. He was even offered a wife from the mayor of the town. Which he obviously declined, not because the girl was not easy on the eyes, but because of her age. A 16 year old guard and a 28 year old mayor’s daughter just didn’t seem right in his mind. He didn’t care much for romance at that time, he was only a boy who just wanted an escape from the slums he had grown up in. He had a good life, a loving father, a caring mother, heck even a bird, but he wanted more for his future family. If only they could’ve seen him now...

    Alan shook himself awake and walked into the forest, they were empty and besides the basic nature noises were quiet. He held his sword in his hand, just in case an animal tried to attack.

    “Alan! Over here!” 

    “Felicity?” Alan anxiously walked towards the voice, yep it was her. Felicity Ellenstein.

    “Okay, Alan I want you to listen to me,here. Keep an open mind. Ivan told me this is where he grew up.”

    “Yeah, and-?”

    “Him and Magda were childhood friends. We have to get Ivan. He’s our best bet at finding Magda!”

    “I don’t think that will work, Felicity.”

    “No Ivan told me about a place he used to play as a child. It was an ancient looking castle. It had a prison, too. Alan, we need to get Ivan.”

    “Felicity,  it will take around a day to get to the city and back. What if he doesn’t even remember?”

    “Alan, a wise woman once told me: ‘A 1% chance is better than no chance at all’ it will take you weeks to comb through these forests, and Magda will probably already be dead if we wait that long.”

    “Felicity, I don’t really have a choice. Do I?”

    Felicity nodded her head and smiled, “You better have brought your own horse!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    “Do you think it’s day or night?”

    “Hm...Motiti? How many naps have you taken.”

    “Well there’s no sun or blankies. Motiti can’t sleep at all!” Motiti whined and she curled herself up into a ball.

    “I’ve slept twice, I think?” Kelly said 

    “I don’t count. Been here longer than any of you.”

    “Ah, I’ve slept once.”

    “Let’s go with 2 days? Does that sound right?” Kelly walked over to the oren and quietly stroked her ears.

    The girls heard a door opening and loudly shutting. They all stayed quiet, and Kelly squealed with joy as she saw who it was. It was Xavier, finally.

“Well, do we all get out now!”

    “The boss told me one of you has to stay,”

    The room went silent. You could hear a pin drop easy. The air felt heavy. 

    “Ahem, Kelly congratulations you have been accepted.”

    “Yes! Motiti did you hear that!”

    “Motiti is so happy for you!”

    “Motiti, you’re in too. You will just be a servant for a little while. Until we know for sure about the safety on humans.”

    “Oh! Motiti loves cooking can I cook! Pretty pretty please!? Oh, but cleaning is good too! So is washing dishes and-” The oren trailed off for a good few minutes.

            "And Magda.. you..cannot come."

          The air in the room became heavy and Silver looked at Magda. Magds felt her legs go to mush within seconds. She grabbed the bars of the prison and looked at Xavier.

          Why wasn't she accepted? Did that other lady bribe Xavier. What was wrong? Did she do something wrong?

"Magda there isn't an easy way to say

this but...you're-"

Magda's brain blacked out for a few 

 seconds. No...it can't. Not now. If this was any other time she'd be happy but right now? She felt hands catch her as she began to fall to the ground. She barely reacted, she heard Silver yell out something but it all sounded like it was underwater.

          That one word took away Magda's ability to move and think. This was supposed to be a happy moment for her. Most women would consider this their happiest moment. This moment was ruined, tainted by her circumstance. Why couldn't this be happy?

        Magda finally put one hand on her belly and shivered heavily. She wondered what Alan would think. Would he be happy? Angry? He will be a wonderful father to their child….

A/N:

Sorry I've been dead for like 3 weeks my computer decided to die on me and it's out for repairs and should be back in a few days. Excuse any spelling or grammar errors,I wrote this on my phone!

Edit 1: Its still not back

[latetothegreysparty]

New Traditions

Hello, lovely people! Wishing you all a magnificent Thanksgiving! As usual, I’ve decided to write a holiday-themed fic. I hope you all enjoy!

New Traditions

“Dr. Shepherd, you’re needed in the trauma bay.”

Amelia did her best to put on a smile for the nurse who was calling to her down the hall. She was just the messenger; it wasn’t her fault. “Could you please page Dr. Nelson?” Amelia asked. She sincerely hoped she had succeeded in keeping her tone calm and friendly. “I’m not on call today. I just stopped in to check on a couple of my patients, but I’m trying to get out of here to go enjoy the holiday with my family.”

“I understand, and I’m really sorry, Dr. Shepherd, but there was a pile up on the highway, and Dr. Nelson is in the middle of a surgery that is projected to last another 4 hours. They really need a neurosurgeon down there to help triage. Do you think you could spare a bit of time?”

Amelia winced. She wanted to help. She really did. But Owen, Leo, and Betty were all waiting for her at the Thanksgiving dinner at Meredith’s house, and it pained her to think that she would be missing out on the first Thanksgiving dinner she could ever remember that was going to be the way it was supposed to be: a proper turkey dinner with all the fixings shared with the people you love without any anger or drama. She’d never even had this when she was growing up, let alone in her adult life, and she wasn’t about to give it up. On the other hand, the people in the trauma bay had just had their Thanksgiving plans wrecked far more than hers were about to be, and she felt like a total jerk for wanting to walk out on those people so she could eat some turkey and make fun of the quantity of pie Owen would inevitably eat. “Okay,” she conceded. “I’ll head down there, but Nelson is going to need to take any cases that end up being surgical. I can’t bail on my family all day long.”

“Thank you,” the nurse said with a grateful smile. Amelia headed off to the trauma bay without another word.

Immediately upon arriving in the trauma bay, Amelia was pressed into service. “Trauma bay 2, Dr. Shepherd,” called the nurse who was in charge of managing the steady stream of patients and providers. Amelia obediently filed into trauma bay 2 just in time to hear the paramedic handing off the patient.

“32 year-old male. Motor vehicle accident. Restrained driver in a vehicle that was struck from the rear. No other passengers in his vehicle. Blunt injuries to the head and abdomen. GCS is 12. Bilateral large-bore antecubital IVs established in the bus. 50 micrograms of fentanyl and 150 milliliters of normal saline administered in the bus. Airway is stable.” The patient was transferred smoothly to the gurney, and Amelia immediately grabbed her penlight and took her place at the head of the bed to begin her assessment.

The next 45 minutes seemed to fly. She went from room to room, assessing each patient and determining their neurological risks. A few had been sent for head CTs, but thankfully none of them presented with an obvious neurosurgical emergency. She was now walking into her last consult from this pile-up. She was about to step into the room when a familiar face came into view. “Owen, what are you doing here?” she asked. “Where are Betty and Leo?”

Owen stopped and whirled around to face her. “I got called in for the pile-up. They said trauma was slammed and they needed an extra pair of hands. Betty and Leo are still at Mere’s house. Betty said she and Leo would be fine without us, and Mere, Maggie, Alex, and Jo are all still there with them. I’m hoping none of these cases end up being surgical so I can get back there soon.”

“Unless this person needs emergency neurosurgery, I’ll head there right after this one,” Amelia replied. “I’m not even on call, but Nelson was in surgery, so they asked me to come down and help. I told them I’d help assess patients, but if there’s any patient who needs neurosurgery that doesn’t need to be done immediately, I’m passing that off to Nelson.”

Owen nodded. “Shall we get in there and see this guy so we can get back to the pie?” he asked with a small smirk.

She nudged him good-naturedly. “It’s always about the pie with you,” she said already on her way into the room.

Amelia was extremely grateful that Owen was the trauma surgeon on this last case of the day. Though she worked well with nearly everyone in the hospital, there was something to be said for chemistry. They knew each other’s tendencies, and they could work seamlessly around one another, rarely even requiring words to stay out of each other’s way and anticipate each other’s next moves. Thanks to their ability to work efficiently, they managed to finish their assessments within 5 minutes. “Your head seems just fine to me,” Amelia said, smiling reassuringly at the middle-aged man who looked quite anxious.

“So I don’t need brain surgery?” he asked.

“Nope, no brain surgery,” she confirmed.

“Actually, no surgery period,” Owen chimed in. “It looks like you don’t have any injuries that are really serious. We’ll have you taken back to the ER, and they’ll give you any fluids and medications you need. You should be out of here by this evening.”

The patient breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you, doctors. I really appreciate it.”

“It was our pleasure,” Owen replied on both of their behalfs. They each shook hands with him and wished him a happy Thanksgiving before stepping out of the room. As soon as the door shut, Owen steered Amelia off to the side. “Imagine that: things actually worked out in our favor for once. It looks like neither of us have to go to surgery. Would you like a ride back to Mere’s place, or do you want to drive yourself?”

Amelia was about to respond when their conversation was interrupted by a frantic-sounding intern. “Dr. Hunt, we just got another one in trauma bay 1, and the FAST showed free fluid in his abdomen. Can you take him back to the OR with us?”

Owen didn’t even attempt to hide his frustration. “I’m not the trauma surgeon on call today. I just stopped by because I was told trauma was slammed, but I was at dinner with my family. Can the on-call trauma surgeon take this?”

The look on the intern’s face told Owen he wasn’t going to like the answer. “Dr. Baker is already in an ex-lap that looks pretty complicated, and they’re worried that this patient we have might be bleeding briskly. They told me that they really need you to do it.”

Owen turned back to Amelia and winced apologetically. “I’m so sorry about this. Do you mind going back to Mere’s house alone for a little while until I get this patient under control?”

Amelia smiled widely. “We’ve been tag-teaming for months now. This is nothing new. Go do your ex-lap, and we’ll see you in a little while.” She pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek and then turned and walked out of the trauma bay.

She had just gotten changed back into her street clothes when her phone chimed from its place in her purse. A quick glance at the screen told her that Betty was texting her. She swiped absentmindedly at the screen as she began to walk out of the hospital.

I need a meeting.

Amelia was already calling Betty before she even had time to think about it. She didn’t wait for Betty to speak when she answered the call. “What happened?” Amelia blurted out.

“I’m so sorry,” Betty gushed, the panic evident in her voice. “Seriously, I’m really sorry-”

“Betty, calm down,” Amelia said gently, slowly. “Just tell me what happened.”

Amelia could hear the deep breath Betty took before she began to respond. “It’s nothing. It’s just that everybody here is drinking wine and beer and stuff. And now people are starting to get kinda buzzed. I thought I was okay, but then I went back to the kitchen for more veggies, and I wanted so badly to grab the bottle of wine. I was already grabbing a glass before I even had time to think.”

“Did you have a drink?” Amelia asked, her tone calm and measured.

“No,” Betty replied. “I looked down when the glass was in one hand and the bottle was in the other. I panicked, so I set them back down on the counter, ran out the front door, and then I texted you. God, everybody probably thinks I’m a freak. I just ran out of the house like a crazy person. I’m so sorry.”

“Betty, stop,” Amelia said, her tone firm and commanding. “Do not apologize. You did the right thing. Thank you for texting me. I know it’s hard to walk away and ask for help when you get a craving like that. I’m so proud of you. I’m coming to get you right now, and we’ll go to a meeting. Do you think you’re okay to go back inside and grab Leo, or should I call Meredith and have her bring him out to you?”

“No, I think I’m fine. I can get Leo.”

“Please stay on the phone with me while you do,” Amelia requested. “And stay out of the kitchen. Just grab Leo and come straight back out of the house. I’ll be there soon.”

“But what about everyone else?” Betty asked. “Isn’t it rude to just leave like that without saying anything?”

“Don’t worry about that. Everyone will understand. Your health comes first. It always comes first. Go back inside, grab Leo, and wait outside for me. You don’t need to worry about anything else.”

-

When Amelia arrived in Meredith’s driveway, Betty was standing on the porch staring vacantly at Leo’s covered bassinet. Amelia quickly killed the engine and walked up to meet Betty on the porch. She took the bassinet from Betty as she spoke. “Everything’s going to be okay. Just come get in the car.” Betty nodded slowly before following Amelia back to the vehicle.

With practiced hands, Amelia managed to get Leo fastened into his car seat quickly. When she climbed back into the driver’s seat, she found Betty staring out the window with wide eyes. “Hey,” Amelia said softly, grabbing Betty’s left hand. “Thank you for texting me. I know this probably seems like a lot right now, but we’ll get you through this. I am so proud of you for recognizing that you were struggling and asking for help before you had a slip. That is huge progress.” Betty’s smile was small, but it was enough for Amelia.

When they arrived in the parking lot of the small church, Amelia wasn’t surprised to find quite a few cars in the parking lot. Thanksgiving had a tendency to be a rough day, both because of the free-flowing alcohol and the family drama that tended to be prevalent at Thanksgiving dinners. After putting the car in park and shutting off the engine, she turned to face Betty with a smile. “Do you want to grab Leo, or do you want me to?”

“I’ve got him,” Betty said softly, already beginning to get out of the car. Amelia nodded before going to the backseat, getting Leo out of the car, handing him to Betty, and leading the way into the building.

Once they had settled into a couple of chairs with coffee in their hands and Leo on Betty’s lap, Amelia turned to check on Betty. “Are you doing alright? Do you want me to go first?”

Betty nodded gratefully. “If you don’t mind.”

Amelia smiled kindly. “Of course not.” She waited until a few people had shared before speaking up. “I’m Amelia, and I’m an addict,” she began. “Thanksgiving can be so hard. It used to be awful for me. God, I could bore you for the next hour with stories of poor choices I’ve made on Thanksgiving throughout the years. It just feels like the perfect storm. There’s booze everywhere. There’s too many people around to really notice if you make a bad decision. There’s family everywhere. And for me, that is a big problem. Well, it used to be, anyway. My relationship with my family is complicated, and Thanksgiving was always the time when we were all reminded that everyone else is a rockstar, and Amelia still doesn’t have her shit together. They were never trying to be mean. They love me. I know that. But it always seemed to give me that little nudge I needed to have a drink or pop some pills. Or both. This year is different, though. This year, I’m spending the day with people I love and who love me. People who bring out the best in me. So I haven’t had any cravings today, and I am so grateful to those people.” Amelia didn’t turn toward Betty as she reached over and squeezed her knee, silently offering her thanks and support.

The room was silent for a moment before Betty spoke up. “I’m Betty, and I’m an addict. This is my first Thanksgiving in recovery. I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I thought it would be amazing to have dinner with people who care for me and treat me well and don’t judge me. And it was amazing. I feel like this is what Thanksgiving is supposed to be. But then I ruined it. I saw everyone drinking, and I started to get the urge, and I couldn’t control it. I almost slipped, and then I went outside and texted my sponsor.” She threw a glance in Amelia’s direction. “So now we’re here at a meeting instead of having dinner like we should be because I’m too weak to say no by myself.”

After a few more shares and a recitation of the Serenity Prayer, the meeting came to a close. Amelia waited until they were in the car and on the road to speak to Betty. “Betty, I know we normally try not to talk about our shares outside of the meeting, so please stop me if you don’t want to talk right now, but I really want to say this to you.” Betty said nothing, so Amelia went on. “It kills me that you feel bad about what happened. Because this is exactly what is supposed to happen.”

“What, a junkie teenager keeping you from the stuffing and green bean casserole?” Betty bit out sarcastically.

“No,” Amelia argued, ignoring the snarky tone. “Thanksgiving is supposed to be about the people, not about the food. I’d much rather sit in some old, dingy church sharing love, acceptance, and grace with a beautiful young woman who has brought so much richness to my life than sitting around a fancy table eating delicious food, worrying more about what people think of the casserole I made than the people I’m sharing it with. Thank you for texting me. Thank you for trusting me with your struggles. It means a lot. You have given me so much to be thankful for. I couldn’t imagine a better holiday.”

She glanced sideways at Betty, and she could see the emotion setting into her eyes. Luckily, Amelia’s phone rang, giving Betty a reprieve from having to respond to Amelia’s words. A glance at the screen told Amelia it was Owen calling. “What’s up?” she asked into the phone.

“I just finished up with my ex-lap. I’m changing out of my scrubs. Should I meet you back at Meredith’s place?”

“Change of plans,” Amelia replied. “Betty, Leo, and I are on our way home. Meet us there.”

“Okay,” Owen said. His voice sounded a bit confused, but he didn’t ask any questions. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

Owen ended up arriving at home just as Amelia and Betty had begun to rummage through the pantry and refrigerator. “What’s going on?” he asked while picking Leo up out of his bouncy seat.

“We’re planning Thanksgiving dinner,” Amelia said, turning to face him with an amused grin as she pulled a box of macaroni and cheese out of the pantry. “I’m thinking mac and cheese with a side of canned pears. What about you, Betty?”

Betty shut the freezer door. “I found some pizza rolls and fish sticks. And mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert.”

“Perfect,” Amelia said. “Owen can, you start preheating the oven while I get going on the mac and cheese?”

Owen still looked utterly confused by the situation, but the look on Amelia’s face told him now was not the time to ask questions. “Sure,” he replied slowly before making his way to the oven to begin working on his assigned role.

30 minutes later, Owen, Amelia, and Betty sat around the table, their plates filled with the comfort foods they had found around the kitchen. Leo sat in his high chair between Betty and Owen, happily grabbing after a few pears with his hands. “Turkey is so overrated,” Amelia lamented. “I vote we do pizza rolls and mac and cheese every year. This is awesome.”

“Just as long as Betty cooks the pizza rolls every year,” Owen responded.

Amelia narrowed her eyes as she turned to face Owen. “Excuse me, what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you burn them every single time you make them.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Amelia asked incredulously. “I slave over a hot oven to make you food when you’re too caught up in your football game to feed yourself, and this is the kind of thanks I get?” She dipped her index finger into her mac and cheese and swiped some of the cheesy sauce down the side of his cheek. “Screw you!” Betty burst out laughing as Owen dipped his finger into his own mac and cheese to retaliate. Leo chose that moment to slam his hands down into the pear juice on the tray of his high chair, and pretty soon everyone had a bit of food on their faces, hands, and clothing.

Once the excitement had died down, Owen and Amelia set to work cleaning up the kitchen while Betty took Leo to the bathroom to clean the pear juice from his face. ��Seriously, can we do this again next year?” Owen asked while putting away the baking sheet. “This was really nice.”

“Let’s do this every year,” Amelia agreed, and she couldn’t stop the smile that split her face in half. There was really something to be said for new traditions.

[thepastisalreadywritten]

Saw your GOT post on Skippy’s page... there is zero way most of season’s 7 & 8 can be GRRM’s actual plan for ASOIAF... unless he too throws the prophecies and all logic out then window. 🤢 So frustrated and annoyed. I’m hopeful it can be fixed but he needs to actually WRITE WOW please!!!!

-- Hi. I am still planning to write my Season 8 opinion but it seems I have been swamped with other things as of the moment. Rest assured I will finish it this week. Haha! 

Anyway, here’s a short preview.

I. Remember how Seasons 1-4 were FLAWLESS? It’s due to the fact that the show had the books as a guide to the storyline, characters and overall tone of the show. Dialogues were copied straight from the books. Characters were established. Actors were great except for the younger ones though (I mean, the younger Stark children).

II. Seasons 5-6 started to fall apart. Did you notice how the dialogues and character arcs became flimsy? It became apparent that the writers have haphazardly adapted the stories forward.

No question on the PRODUCTION TEAM behind the show because all the staff and crew have always been excellent in bringing the visual, costume, make-up, prosthetics, fire stunt, stunt double, VFX and others to life. 

III. Upon announcing that Seasons 7 and 8 will have 13 episodes in total, we all knew it will be a disaster. One can’t sum up the whole story by cutting the character development and storyline by half. And it did!

All the build up and introduction since Seasons 1-6 were for naught:

1. The Night King, White Walker and the undead Army in general

2. “Winter is Coming” and The Long Night

3.  Babies offered in Craster’s Keep

4. Jon’s mysterious mother and the R + L = J theory

5. Daenery’s survival

a. Consuming a raw stallion’s heart as part of the Dothraki pregnancy ceremony

b. Surviving the funeral pyre with three living dragons

c. Breaking the chain of slavery

d. Surviving just every challenge among others

IV. All these didn’t matter in the end. Season 8 gave us the so-called “writers’ favorite service”, which gave Sansa and Arya unnecessary scenes, lines and importance. With due respect to those who like these two characters, there was no build up on Arya that she will be the one to kill the Night King. Jumping out of nowhere and doing the ninja moves, seriously?

Jon and Daenerys have gone through hell and back since Season 1. The least that we can expect was their arcs to be given justice. Jon Snow aka Aegon Targaryen spent Seasons 1-7 dealing with the undead.

How is it possible that Arya came into the picture? They based that presumption on what Melisandre told Arya in Season 3 about “the green eyes, brown eyes, blue eyes -- eyes you will shut forever”.

It’s like Voldemort was killed by Peeves the Poltergeist instead of Harry Potter just because the writers want to subvert the story. It’s also akin to Thanos being killed by an arrow by Hawkeye. No, it doesn’t make sense. Arya’s arc was not established from the very beginning. Her storyline was focused on revenge against those who murdered her family. Hence, her resolution in going to Braavos to train under JaQen H’ghar in the House of Black and White.

V.  Sansa has no point in asking frivolous lines and dissing Daenerys for no reason whatsoever. Daenerys brought her three dragons and armies to the North for the supposed to be “Great War” and all Sansa was focused on were the food supply and what the dragons were eating. Lest we forget, Daenerys lost two of her dragons and some of her armies, including Missandei.

In every war and battle since Season 1, it is already inherent and implied that soldiers, women and children will suffer from everything. It doesn’t need to be emphasized just to give her the dialogue or scene.

Her dissing Daenerys also has no merit. More on her character later on.

VI. Jon Snow being the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark didn’t amount to anything in the story at all. Bran Stark and Sam Tarly were inclined to tell Jon his true heritage yet the story was more focused on the Stark children to think he is above them all by birthright.

Remember how Jon asked them to make a promise at godswood yet Sansa still shared the secret to Tyrion? She already broke the code because godswood is a sacred place for the Starks at Winterfell.

VII. What happened to Tyrion and Jaime Lannister? Both became dull and foolish in the end. Season 8 gave Jaime the alleged redemption arc only to throw everything away by going back to Cersei. There was also no point on the Jaime and Brienne intimate scenes only for the latter to be hurt by the former.

Remember Maggy the Frog’s prophecy on the young Cersei? Although the show didn’t include the part where Cersei will die under the hands of a Valonqar (Valyrian for “little brother), it still doesn’t give credence to her and Jaime’s reunion in the end.

In Book 5, A Dance with Dragons, Jaime has already discovered Cersei’s evil ways. He has started to despise Cersei yet in the show, the writers chose to have them die together in the rubble after the horrible things that Cersei has done since Season 1.

“Nothing else matters. Only us.”

--Jaime Lannister

Way to go in ruining Brienne before that huh? Haha!

VIII. Daenerys going mad in Episode 5 didn’t make sense. It’s not that Daenerys is not capable of being mad but since Season 8 was cut in ridiculous proportions that all the storylines have to be acted out per minute in each episode.

Daenerys “blasting full mad” in one episode is a folly. Had they only executed the “mad” aspect well, book readers and viewers would have understood it but they didn’t. It was a race to the finish line.

Have Dany in “Mad Queen mode” in one scene then Jon stabbed her in the end. Just like that or I call it “Wingardium Leviosa” style. Swish and flick  -- there goes Dany’s death. Haha!

Drogon should have killed Jon though. DROGON AND GHOST are two of the best moments in Season 8.

I/we can’t believe that a great story was ruined by lazy writing. Negative comments everywhere on social media, especially Youtube. I have also posted those reviews in the blog. They made great points too.

This has been a long post. It still doesn’t cover some of the characters but I hope to write another one next time. Thank you for dropping by. :)

P.S  And yes, let’s just look forward to the remaining two books from GRRM soon.

#Game of Thrones

#Season 8

[allyinthekeyofx]

Fading light -part 2- 3/6

PART ONE  -  Chapters 1-6

PART TWO  -  Chapter one   Chapter two

PART TWO

CHAPTER THREE

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call your Mom?”

I’m trying to understand Scully’s reluctance to involve her Mother; I’m aware that the knowledge of her collapse yesterday will just seek to fuel another emotional outburst from Maggie, but even so, it just doesn’t sit right with me. But then it’s not my fight so I’m not sure I have a right to even hold an opinion, much less pass judgement over Scully’s decisions in this regard. To have to watch her losing control of her body is heart wrenching to me and I suppose she should be permitted to decide just how much of her gradual decline she wishes to share with her Mom.

But I still can’t help the guilt that gnaws at me that I am at least in part, a willing conspirator against a woman who has shown me more kindness and the past than I believe I deserve.

But Scully sets her mouth in a straight line, shaking her head and looking all the word like a small, determined child.

“No. I mean it Mulder. I’ll call her when I get home.”

When she will get home is still undetermined however. She’s had a pretty rough morning since she woke up. I hadn’t considered really just what the effects of swallowing so much blood yesterday would have on her and she’s been throwing up on and off for the past 3 hours or so despite a cocktail of anti sickness drugs added to her IV and she is clearly exhausted by this latest assault. Apparently the human digestive system - as Scully helpfully informed me - does not process large quantities of its own blood too well and vomiting in this circumstance is commonplace. It was something she apparently went through the last time around and something she never discussed with me. But then she didn’t really discuss much of anything with me back then and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure I had earned the right, intent as I was on seeking justice, and my partner, the woman I loved, the object of such heinous wrongdoing, somehow became secondary to my quest.

I’ve always been ashamed of my actions back then. I think I probably always will be and although I’ve never told her, I’m still haunted by the knowledge that I wasn’t there when she needed me the most. Yes, Scully is an intensely private person, but I was so blind back then that even if she’d expressed her need in neon letters two feet tall I doubt I would have been able to see past the ether of my obsession in order to react to it. And that’s why now, even though I had prayed that a resurgence of her cancer would never come, that I will be to her everything I wasn’t before.

I know I am going to have to leave her soon though, just for a while; because if she won’t allow me to involve anyone else, the most basic tasks need to be completed by me. Essential items, toiletries, a change of clothes, her robe....all fairly insignificant in the great scheme of things but items that will make her stay easier. I particularly know that she is desperate to clean her teeth. Scully is probably the most fastidious person I’ve ever met and I know that being unable to properly freshen up using her toothpaste and her brand of soap is pissing her off. She doesn’t need that on top of everything else. Not when it’s something that is so easily rectified.

I also need to grab a shower and a change of clothes because the scrubs, whilst pretty comfortable aren’t the most inconspicuous apparel to be wearing in a hospital and frankly I’m terrified that someone might mistake me for a member of the nursing staff and my duplicity will end up killing someone.

I’d said as much to Scully and was rewarded by the first genuine smile she had managed so far that day. And for a brief moment amidst the headache and the nausea and the fear, she was right back there with me.

“You’re an idiot Mulder”

I’d leaned in closer to her tickling her neck with my lips as I whispered in her ear so only she could hear me

“Admit it Scully, you just wanna play Doctors with me.”

And that earned me a swat on the arm.

Another small victory. But I would take it.

Shortly after that though she had closed her eyes and by the delicate furrows that marred her brow, I knew that the headache was back. She needed sleep and I’d suspected that it was something she was fighting against while I was still there with her. So I’d perched gently on the edge of the bed and taken her slim white hand in mine. I swear that her naturally pale skin tone had become virtually translucent since yesterday and my own hand seemed almost dark in comparison. And for some reason I can’t quite fathom, the sight of her hand engulfed in mine had tightened my throat as a sudden film of tears inexplicably gathered across my eyes and it took every single fucking reserve I had to not break down right there in front of her.

She noticed of course; I can’t hide anything from this woman and when I allow myself to really think about it, it humbles me that she has somehow managed to know me so completely. I am further humbled when she places her free hand against my cheek, holding it there for just a heartbeat.

“It’s okay” she whispers softly turning those incredible eyes on me that, just for a moment, radiate such compassion, such concern, that I want to gather her up and never let her go. To rain a thousand kisses down upon her body in an attempt to rid her of the hurt and the fear I know she is feeling.

“It’s okay Mulder. Go home for a while. I’ll be fine.”

She is tired. She needs to sleep.

So I simply nod and bring her hand to my mouth, kissing each finger softly before grazing my lips across her palm, tracing circles with my thumb across the satin soft skin and by the time I gently lay her arm across her chest, she has succumbed to her exhaustion and her eyes have fluttered closed. I allow myself the luxury of drinking in her image, the long chestnut eyelashes that sit in sharp contrast to her pale skin and despite the dark shadows under her eyes, to me, she is flawless.

“I’ll be back soon” I whisper.

And the small contended sigh that escapes from her slightly parted lips tells me that she hears me even in her dreams.

XXXX

I had briefly considered walking back home but given the fact I was dressed like an escaped mental patient and clutching a transparent trash bag containing the blood soaked clothes from yesterday, I’d decided against it and had asked the helpful volunteer at the admin desk if they could call me a cab. Even then I braced myself for the driver’s reaction to his strange passenger, but as it transpired, the driver, when he arrived, turned out to be a her and in my experience, women seemed to much less phased about these kinds of things than their male counterparts. A short Hispanic woman who bore more than a passing resemblance to Frohike, right down to the bushy eyebrows, didn’t bat an eyelid; she simply grabbed the bag from my hand, tossing it in to the backseat as she held the door open for me.

“Rough night?”

I laughed in spite of myself and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

“Yeah you could say that.”

She simply nodded and gestured that I should sit in the front next to her and I was grateful to not have to sit looking at Scully’s blood soaked clothing for the ten minute journey back to her apartment.

Once inside I gave her the address and leaned my head back against the seat, relaxing properly for the first time since that terrifying moment by the lake when Scully began to choke on her own blood. It happened less than 24 hours ago and yet seems like a lifetime. I am beginning to learn in the harshest way possible that nothing is constant where this disease is concerned. That in the blink of an eye everything changes. I hadn’t realised last time around just how much Scully had hidden from me and just how much she had coped with on her own.

How many times had she been puking up undigested blood after a nose bleed and had then followed me on whatever case I had managed to conjure up to ensure she kept moving? So that she wouldn’t have either the time or energy to walk away from me? Because by trying to keep things normal, I could deny what was happening. Until that final night on the sweeping stairway of the American University.

*I can’t go with you Mulder*.

I hadn’t even asked her why. Oh I knew her refusal to join me was directly tied to her cancer. But I hadn’t asked because for my own selfish reasons I wasn’t able to acknowledge it. That she was dying. Some fucking partner I turned out to be.

“Hey Mister....you okay?”

I snap abruptly back to the present day and realise with a start that we have arrived. I’m not sure how because it only seems like a few seconds since we pulled away from the hospital and joined the throngs of traffic heading in to the capitol.

“You zonked out on me” Mrs Frohike supplies helpfully and I shake my head in apology.

“Like I said. Rough night. I’m sorry, how much?” I glance at the meter and notice that the digital display is blank and am more than a little surprised when I feel a set of stubby fingers tighten briefly on my arm.

“Use it to buy your girl some flowers and tell her I said to get well soon.”

The kindness of a stranger.

And she called Scully ‘My girl’.

I can’t speak suddenly. The lump that formed in my throat makes it impossible. So I settle for a shaky smile that I know doesn’t quite come off and, after grabbing the bag of soiled clothes from the back, I exit the car.

Conscious that time is ticking and I want, no, need to be back at the hospital before Scully wakes up, I head straight for the wide double doors that grace the front of the beautiful old building that Scully calls home. And I realise perhaps for the first time that it feels like home for me too. Three months. Three short months is all it’s taken. Maybe it’s time I had a discussion with Scully about moving the fish in.

The concept makes me smile, a smile that freezes on my face as the familiar voice assails my senses from behind. My reaction is sudden and violent as I spin around to face a man who has brought nothing but misery and destruction to everyone and everything he comes in to contact with. As always a noxious blue cloud surrounds him, the smoke curling insidiously around him as though cloaking him in death and he is smiling at me. He has the audacity to smile at me. The cigarette smoking son of a bitch who calls himself my father. I would rather have been spawned by the devil himself; but then again, maybe I was.

His eyes settle on the bag I am still clutching at my side and his smile widens. It’s almost fatherly, jovial even and that alone makes me want to shove the barrel of my gun in to his mouth and blow the back of his fucking head off. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s sat safely locked away in the apartment where I left it yesterday before we left for the park. I hadn’t wanted to carry a gun whilst walking with Scully through the autumn leaves beneath our feet. I just hadn’t felt the need.

“Did Agent Scully enjoy her Birthday gift?”

His oily unctuous voice reaches me somehow through the sudden white noise that seems to invade my every sense. And I recognise it as rage. Blind rage that he even has the audacity to speak her name.

“What did you say?”

My voice is low, dangerous, Icy in its control. Scully would be proud. Because what I actually want to do right now is to rip his head from his fucking shoulders.

“Her Birthday gift Fox. The one we gave her.”

I shake my head in an effort to clear it, as a horrified realisation suddenly hits me like an out of control boulder. Rolling towards me, gathering speed, unstoppable and unforgiving.

He caused it.

Yesterday.

The bleeding.

He caused it.

Somehow he caused it.

“You fucking black lunged bastard......” 

and I take a step towards him. I want to hurt this man so badly I can barely breathe. I want to systematically make him suffer in the same way he has made us suffer.

Has made Scully suffer.

But all it takes is for him to hold up his hand for me to stop in my tracks. Because I know. Suddenly I know that this is all a game to him.

“Now Fox. Don’t spoil things for yourself. Who knows what might happen to Scully if you do something rash.”

I ball my hands in to fists, the feel of my fingernails biting in to the flesh of my palms. But I welcome the pain. It tempers me just enough to remain where I am.

“What do you want from us? From me?”

He shakes his head

“You still haven’t figured it out have you Fox? I want nothing. Nothing but your loyalty. When the time comes.”

“When the time comes for what? you fucking double talking sick bastard.”

And when he doesn’t respond something inside me breaks free, I actually feel it give, like a rubber band stretched too tightly, unable to bear the pressure for even a second longer. All the years that this man has loomed like a spectre above us, controlling, manipulative, a manifestation of pure evil, hiding behind a conspiracy that destroys everything it comes in to contact with. And I can’t allow it to continue. For both Scully and I he has to be stopped, and I feel a sudden surge of satisfaction at the fear in his eyes as I lunge forwards and wrap my hands around his throat.

Continued chapter four.