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simplyshelbs16xoxo · 5 years ago

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‘Repeating History’ Chapter 6: I’ll Find a Way to You

FFN | Ao3 | Buy Me a Coffee?

2016

Molly rushed up the stairs to 221B, throwing the door open with such force, it caused Sherlock to jump.

“What is it?” she asked, hesitance in every step she took towards him. He was looking down at something—a photograph, perhaps—and his face showed no emotion other than shock.

“It’s…” he began, “us.” Sherlock felt, rather than saw, Molly hovering beside him.

“Sherlock…” what she saw was their faces staring back at them, the wallpaper backdrop not dissimilar to the flat they now stood in. “That’s us…that’s how I see you in those dreams…is that how you see me?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “My mother sent this to me; she thought we would be interested.”

“Ha!” Molly laughed in disbelief. “Well, this confirms it.”

“We had past lives…as…ourselves?” Sherlock asked. “Strange how past lives are depicted as the same soul in a different body.”

“Maybe it’s one of those star-crossed things,” Molly suggested. Sherlock only frowned in confusion. “Perhaps we wanted to be together in a different life, and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out.” Still nothing. “It sounds crazy, I know, but it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Preposterous,” Sherlock muttered. “How can this be?” Everything he had known to be true had turned on its head. He focused in on Molly’s face. “Why do you look so upset?”

Molly took a closer look. Most Victorian photographs upheld a serious, unpleasant feel, but Sherlock was right; she looked distraught. “You don’t look very happy either,” she pointed out. He appeared to be uncomfortable. “Something unsettling must have occurred just before the photograph was taken,” she reasoned.

“Sherlock!” Lestrade rushed into the flat. “We found another victim, and it’s much more gruesome than before.”

“Do you need me too?” Molly asked.

“We’ll be alright, Molls,” Greg assured her. “Anderson is on the scene.”

Sherlock groaned at this. Turning to Molly, he said, “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Promise?” Molly asked, a small smile forming on her lips.

“I promise,” he assured her. “I love you.”

Molly opened her mouth to speak the words he so wanted to hear, but nothing came out but a strangled gasp. She closed her eyes in defeat. “I’m sorry.”

Sherlock molded his hand around her shoulder. “It’s alright. I understand.” A tear fell from Molly’s eye and hit the back of his hand. “I know you love me.”

Smiling at his acknowledgement, she wiped another tear from her eye. “Solve me a murder, Sherlock.”

There was a strong stench of copper and decay in the alley where the victim was found. Sherlock Holmes held a handkerchief dabbed in vapor rub to his nose to avoid the putrid scent. The victim was definitely a woman, possibly in her early thirties. She was hardly recognizable what with her organs spilling out every which way. Upon closer inspection, there appeared to be scratches all over her exposed bosoms. The only organ that was missing was—

“Where’s her stomach?” Sherlock asked.

“Over here!” Anderson shouted by the dumpsters.

“Her stomach?” Sherlock asked once more.

“No,” Anderson replied, “I found another victim.”

“Jesus,” Lestrade remarked. “Let’s get her out of there!”

The woman had been retrieved from the dumpster carefully as to not disturb whatever clues they could get from her. Sherlock was glad for once that Molly was not here. She was tough, but the grisly scene was nearly too much for even him to handle.

“Seems like the intestines are missing,” Anderson informed them. “Everything else is accounted for.”

Sherlock studied the corpse further. “There,” he pointed below her abdomen. “Her bladder is gone as well.” Their modern day Ripper was collecting organs, but for what purpose? Were organs his consolation prize after committing such a crime? “That leaves the brain and heart.”

“Don’t forget the skin,” Anderson reminded him. “It’s not commonly known that it’s—“

“The largest organ of the body, yes, I know,” Sherlock finished in agitation. Volatile images of a poor unsuspecting woman being skinned alive plagued his mind, making him shudder. The consulting detective was never squeamish, but this case had him feeling uneasy. Perhaps Molly was right; he jumped right into things too quickly after Sherrinford. It was too late, though. Sherlock would never forgive himself if he quit the case now, especially when all of these women had been put through so much pain.

“Calm down, it’ll be alright,” Greg spoke into his phone. “You know he will. We’ll find her.”

An uneasiness coursed through Sherlock’s body. There was a lump in his throat, and he felt as though he was going to be sick. Flashes of a torture scene flickered in his mind. There was a young woman, but he couldn’t make out her features. The street was spinning—no, he was falling—down, down, down.

“Sherlock!” Lestrade shouted, running over to him. It was the last thing the detective heard before everything went black.

1894

Restlessness plagued Molly Hooper for the rest of the night. Her mind was racing after her tiff with Sherlock. What distressed her most was that she was no closer to finding Meena’s murderer. Her father was asleep on the settee in the sitting room, snoring peacefully. She thought of the new friend she had in Mrs. Watson. Molly had only seen her at the hospital a handful of time, and attended to her twice since Doctor Mudgett’s disappearance.

It was at that moment that everything clicked into place. Mudgett disappeared shortly before the murders began…could it be? No. Molly shook the thought from her head. It had to be a coincidence. Sherlock’s hand-me-down words from the eldest Holmes brother entered her mind.

What do we say about coincidence? The universe is rarely so lazy.

“Oh, God,” Molly muttered, wasting no time. “I’ll be back, father. I need to see a man about a murder.”

Fastening her cloak around her shoulders, and drawing up her hood, Molly set off for Baker Street. The hansoms had no business running this late, so she knew she’d have to make the trip on foot. With every step, her anxiety grew. Baker Street was only a few streets away; it would take her no longer than twenty minutes. With that knowledge, she picked up her speed, moving at a near-run. No matter what she heard, saw, or felt, Molly Hooper did not stop for any of it. The best thing was for her to keep moving steadily, onward to 221B.

Though it was probably paranoia, Molly felt a pair of eyes watching her the entire time. She nearly squealed with delight was the door to Sherlock’s flat came into view. She shouted his name as loudly as she could muster. Just as her hand reached for the knocker, a cold, clammy hand pulled her back. A bloodcurdling scream ripped from her lips, alerting nearly every tenant on the street. A cloth was being held against her mouth now, making her sink into the inky blackness of unconsciousness

Sherlock Holmes was pacing, his mind moving at speeds he could not fathom. Why did he have to allow his damn pride to get in the way of everything? Why could he not allow himself to give in to the love of the most captivating woman he had ever encountered? Margaret Hooper had put him in his place, and rightly so. He needed to apologise. There was no way around it.

“Sherlock!”

He knew that voice. It was Molly. She came back.

Sherlock’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He ran to the window, and threw it open in an effort to speak with her, but as he did so, a bloodcurdling scream reverberated throughout the entire street.

“Molly?” He searched the street from above, but there was no sign of her.

“Molly, where are you?” he shouted. When no answer came, he rushed down the stairs and out the door, his bare feet hitting the freezing the ground.

“Molly!? Oh God,” he cried, his breathing heavy. “No. No, no, no!”

“Snap out of it!” Mycroft shouted in his mind palace. “Concentrate. Which direction did she come from? In which direction did she possibly go?”

Sherlock scanned his surroundings. She came from the left side of the street if she came from her home. Whoever took her was obviously going in the same direction, but did not take the risk of dragging her down the street. He could have disappeared down an alley for a quick getaway. This madman had Molly, and Sherlock Holmes was going to do everything in his power to save her.

“Lestrade.” Yes, he needed to go to Scotland Yard immediately. A search needed to be organised and soon.

2016

I’ll burn the heart out of you.

Jim Moriarty’s words circled his mind as he came to. The first thing he saw was a bright light, the faces in the room fuzzy. As his sight began to clear, he noticed Greg’s sullen expression. A chilling scream only he could hear came to the detective’s mind. It belonged to Molly. He knew it did.

“Molly,” Sherlock croaked. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”

“Kidnapped,” Greg confirmed. “She isn’t dead—not yet. A note was found taped to your door, though.”

Sherlock snatched it, sitting right up in the hospital bed. “Margaret Hooper had morbid humour; too bad she never wed. She fell apart with a broken heart, and all they found was her head.” He felt nauseous, his stomach doing somersaults. “Oh God,” he cried. “We have to find her! Right now!” He thrashed about in the bed, pulling out the IV in his arm.

Nobody argued with him or advised him to stay in bed. They knew what Molly meant to Sherlock. He wouldn’t allow anything or anybody to get in his way. “Ughhhh,” he doubled over in pain, the room spinning. Instead of fighting it, he allowed the visions to come.

The land was familiar, sprawling every which way. In the distance, he could see a manor. There was no denying it. He was at Musgrave Hall, only the outlines of the funny gravestones were visible from where he stood. Moriarty’s voice began singing in his ear, “Sherlock Holmes upon his throne like to slay the dragons. He loved to roam amongst funny gravestones, before he fell off the wagon.”

Gasping for air, Sherlock came to once more. “I know where she’s been taken.” He turned to Lestrade. “Organise a search party. We’re going to Musgrave Hall.”

John Watson woke to a rapping on the door. “Bloody hell,” he groaned. “What now?”

“What is it?” Mary asked tiredly.

“John, please, open up!” Sherlock’s voice called out.

The Watsons were up and out of bed faster than light. John answered the door, noting the anguish on Sherlock’s face.

“Molly’s been taken,” he panted.

“Where?” Mary asked, fear gripping her heart.

“Musgrave Hall,” Sherlock replied heavily. “John, I would normally recruit you for this, but I need Mary’s skillset. It’s too important.”

John nodded. “Of course, yeah. I’ll stay with Rosie.”

Mary was off to get dressed, and returned no more than five minutes later. “Let’s go.”

1894

Funny Gravestones. Sherlock was trying to recall the significance of it. He searched his mind palace, diving into the depths of it, until finally, it occurred to him where Molly could have been taken.

“Musgrave Hall,” Sherlock told Lestrade. “Miss Hooper was taken to Musgrave Hall; it was my former childhood home.”

“Why would he take her there?” Lestrade inquired. “She has no connection to the place…does she?”

Flashes of his now-deceased sister came to mind. There was another girl present too with chestnut locks, her nose upturned just like—

“I,” Sherlock began, “I think I grew up with her…how on earth did I forget?”

They took a hansom cab to the nearest train station, and whilst on board, Sherlock delved deeper into his repressed memories. He remembered Eurus being jealous that he would choose to play with Molly rather than her. Then, there was the day that Eurus had trapped Molly in the well that sat within the woods surrounding his family home. After saving her, Sherlock never saw her again until this year. He hadn’t even remembered her; his best friend from childhood. Then again, he realised, she hadn’t recognised him either.

Lestrade studied the detective before him, noting that he was in deep thought. A sorrowful look came upon his face. “What’s wrong?”

Snapping out of it, Sherlock had the detective inspector repeat the question. “What’s wrong is that I completely pushed away any memories of Molly from when we were children. I have been a right foul git to her. Aside from that, she may or may not be trapped in a well. We have to save her.”

“We will, Sherlock.” Lestrade didn’t show it, but he was afraid they were already too late.

“Somebody help!” Molly shouted into the endless darkness. She hadn’t a clue where she was, but it was dark, cold, and damp. One thing she knew was that she wasn’t outside. Otherwise, she would be pelted with raindrops right now.

A cold, sinister laugh echoed through the room. A man in a bowler hat peered out from the shadows, and into what little light there was. “There is nobody to help you, my dear.”

“Who are you!?” she demanded. “If I am going to die, then you might as well tell me!”

The man stepped closer towards her until they were face to face, his mustache nearly brushing her nose. “The name is Doctor Henry Mudgett,” he replied. “Nice to see you again, Doctor Hooper.”

“You,” Molly gasped. “You were Mary’s doctor; the one that disappeared into thin air.”

He chuckled in amusement. “Yes, but I am known under a different moniker now, Doctor Hooper. I use my mother’s maiden name. I believe that my cousin harbours deep feelings for you.”

Molly looked at him with questioning eyes.

“H.H. Holmes is the name now. I believe you’ve met my cousin, Sherlock?”

#sherlolly #sherlolly halloween at 221b #sherlolly halloween 2019 #repeating history #my fanfiction

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 6 years ago

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Hi! I’ve been following your account for forever, and Ive always been curious as to if there’s a reason it seems there’s far more afab asks than amab asks?

Lee says:

One thing I’ve noticed on the blog is activity begets activity; when I (or any mod) answer a lot of asks, a lot of new asks come in because people are seeing our blog and encouraged to interact with us. In slow weeks, when the mods are busy and there aren’t many things posted, we don’t get as many questions. This can become a cycle; if we don’t post anything, nobody sends us an ask so we don’t post anything. The same thing happens to the AMAB mods.

So we do get some AMAB asks, but the AMAB mods on this blog aren’t as active as us AFAB mods are and therefore we get fewer AMAB asks and therefore the AMAB mods are less active… and so on.

To break the not-enough-questions part of the cycle, the AMAB mods asked us (the AFAB mods) to not answer the AMAB questions or they’ll have nothing to do, so instead we should save the AMAB asks to the drafts for them.

That way the AMAB asks don’t get lost in the inbox and they can easily locate AMAB asks when they’re ready to answer a question and just hop to it.

But because said AMAB mods aren’t very active on the blog, we have like 400 AMAB asks saved in our drafts. So we keep drafting new AMAB asks, but very few end up leaving the drafts.

Our Meet the mods! page lists our current AMAB mods:

Ryn [x] they/them/theirs or she/her/hers (auxiliary)

Ryn is 21 years old and identifies as non-binary transfeminine (non-binary trans woman? Who knows). They have been to everyone for almost two years now, and (as they like to put it) in a closet with an open door for a few years before that (out to a few people). They are a white, amab, queer person with a history of mental illness. They are currently studying biology, archaeology, and music at a small liberal arts college in upstate New York. Ryn still isn’t sure what Disney character they’d be, but for now, they’ll go with Violet from the Incredibles.

Callie [x] she/her/hers

Callie is a 19 year old pansexual amab trans girl. She is from Alberta, but currently lives in Southern Ontario where she is attending university. She is Chinese and Canadian First Nations. She has some mental illness and chronic skin problems. She enjoys the game magic: the gathering and playing and listening to music and is an aspiring stand up comedian. If she were a Disney Character, she would be BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Harper [x] she/her/hers

Harper is a 22 year old trans lesbian from England. She came out on 21/04/2017 and is started hrt 14/04/2019 and is currently on the NHS waiting list. She’s a keen student of English literature, transpoetics, and leftist political theory, especially when it concerns being trans. She is white and able-bodied. She loves puppies and gucci and communism and her wife.

Pat [x] they/them/theirs can answer in Spanish

Pat is a 19-year-old nonbinary person who lives in Texas. They are Mexican/Native-American and loves writing, acting, making Youtube videos, and their cat Hera. Pat does not plan on medically transitioning, but is feminine presenting and AMAB.

Pat is disabled and is diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, and they are currently being treated for both.

Any questions for Pat can be sent to their personal blog.

Charlotte [x] She/her/hers

Charlotte is a 16 year old gay (??) AMAB trans girl who feels cute sometimes. She’s been dealing with unmedicated ADHD, depression, and anxiety up until recently, and is okay with answering any ask related to those topics. They’re currently pre-everything but plan on getting hormones and vaginoplasty in the future. They’re out as trans nearly everywhere, excluding extended family, for better or for worse.

Alexandra [link missing] She/her/hers

Alexandra is 14, AMAB, pre-everything, genderflux, Black, and omnisexual.

Autumn [link missing] she/her/hers

Autumn is a 19 year old non-binary trans woman who lives in Oklahoma. She is white, AMAB, cupiosexual, and lesbian. She had bottom surgery in 2015 and has a lot of experience with hormone therapy complications.

Autumn and her body enjoy the lovely and disabling company of many chronic and mental illnesses. She has personal experience with psychotic, mood, and eating disorders. She also has a genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and associated comorbidities (POTS, MCAS, GP, etc). She has been institutionalized, and is on medication.

Autumn is Jewish, training a service dog, dorky, and loves pizza and puns so much (like way too much). She is happy to answer any appropriate questions regarding anything she has experience with.

Kay [link missing] they/them/theirs or she/her/hers

Kay is a 19/yo trans woman who began to come out as late as 18 years old. She considers herself pansexual as her feelings aren’t defined by the body or the parts someone has. She is white, American, and has spent a majority of her life in Ohio. She identifies as she, but for personal purposes and comfort she tends to go by “they” when faced with unfamiliar people. She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder in 2015 after spending a week in a hospital for a psych evaluation. For Kay, Makeup and hair has been a normal thing, but, as of August 2017, she made the first small steps to fully transitioning with appointments to a trans councilor.

Kay loves her dog Roxie and her cats Buzzy and Socks. She also has a bit of an obsession with the Forza Motorsport series… For some reason.

Roxie [x] she/her/hers

Roxie is a white, able-bodied, perisex, 19 year old trans woman from the UK. Technically she’s non-binary (166% woman, y'all) but she mostly doesn’t identify that way any more. She’s also a lesbian, so shout out to that! She’s been out the closet as trans since February 2016, and is currently working on getting put on E after years of asking.She has ADHD, and has known so for the vast majority of her life, and she’s autistic, too, which she has known since she was thirteen. She’s heavily involved with disability rights, and helps moderate a tightly-knit disability community on Skype (message her if you’re interested!). She’s also mentally ill… somehow. She’s still working that one out, if she’s quite honest.By occupation, Roxie is a librarian (libresbian? lesbrarian? We’ll work on that one.) and an actress in a youtube webseries with an overwhelmingly LGBT cast. In her spare time, she reads Marvel Comics, kicks butt as Pharah in Overwatch, and goes clubbing with her friends. If she were a Disney character, she would be Princess Star Butterfly, from Star Vs. The Forces of Evil.

———————————

If you have a question for a particular mod, @ them at the start of your ask- that makes it more likely that they’ll answer you!

#Lee says #blog stuff #caps #Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

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pkmnjesus · 6 years ago

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5 years of the PokémonJesus

Before the night comes to a close, I would like to personally reflect on today’s importance (thus the reason for the Takeover queue). It’s been 5 years since I officially became engaged with this fandom that has really became a weekly routine of mine when new episodes come out. This is really just to put my thoughts out there in the blog archive, so I would prefer if no one reblogs this. P J’s beginnings started all the way back with Serebii Forums...

2013-2014 (The Pokémon forums Era)

I have been lurking in the fandom as early as the Best Wishes days, and often visit sites like Serebii Forums or tumblr’s Pokémon anime tags around 2011. I usually talk Pokémon online when it comes to the games when battling or trading in certain chat rooms (was really active during the Gen. IV era of games), but never really talked about the anime with. I have been a spectator to the discussion while the BW saga was rolling a long, then I decided on September 26th 2013 (which was the airdate for the final BW! episode in Japan) to create a serebiiforums account under the username PokemonJesus123, just in time for the start of the XY series which I was mad hyped about! I WAS A FAN SINCE DAY 1...some y’all just tagged along in XY&Z NO LOYALTY xD . My serebii profile is still there actually, so you can try to find my old inactive page if you want lol (my avatar was me holding up my 3DS in a cringey way...looking back why tf did I take that photo lol delete later). Coming into 2014, I joined tumblr as well under the url name you see right before you. Never changed it, and probably never will. The origin of this name you ask? You’ll just have to ask me personally for that story 😉 I absolutely joined tumblr out of pure boredom to view and follow blogs I was a fan of. I had no intention of posting whatsoever. Oh, and I made a Twitter account under the P J name too! Follow ME :^)

2014-2015 (Thursday LIVE! tumblr era)

After a couple months of finally creating a tumblr account and actively posting on serebiiforums and bulbagarden, XY episode 50 (the episode where big lips Nini/Nene debuted) was the first EVER Pokémon anime episode I ever posted about in my blog. I was still new the #pokeani tag (funny story, I didn’t really knew what it meant back then besides to tag it lol), but I got as much as around 30-100 notes. Seeing those notes already got excited that it pushed me from making it a weekly thing since I had a livestream to watch it every Thursday night and screen-cap it. My goal from the very beginning was to try to be the first one to post about here, like what the Japanese fans do on Twitter under the #Anipoke tag. Of course, most of my notes came from either an AmourShipping post or a Serena post. I’m not going to lie, I was really a huge Serena fan when the series first started. I rambled a lot too getting hyped for Citron/Clemont episodes because he was probably my favorite character at the time xD

2015-2016 (A growing blog)

This was the era I started to do special long posts in celebration with Pokémon’s 20th anniversary. Around this period is where my blog was in a developing state getting like 2 or 3 followers every week. And trust me, there were A LOT of posts that I regret posting, but I learned to watch my words every week and say the right things (I really try not to trigger anyone here). I took a couple of weeks off when new episodes aired since I was really busy with college, or I wasn’t into XY filler episodes that much. Would usually tune in live when Team Flare was involved or anything with Squishy/Puni-chan (I absolutely ADORED Bonnie/Eureka in this arc), but I didn’t post that much on tumblr...unless if there was like an AmourShipping moment that happened xD. The hype for Gen. VII was already looming, and I kinda got bored from the anime A BIT. When Ash-Greninja came into the picture however, I got excited again! Then the Kalos League happened, and the anticipation of Ash’s journey hit a climax! We all know what happened, and the rest was history...

2016-2017 (GIFmaking era)

So the Sun & Moon anime happened late 2016, and the hype for a new series was within me again! This is when my blog REALLY started to boom, as well as the birth of my Pokémon Discord server PokéTōku. My notes were higher than over compared to what I posted from XY. One possible reason is that a lot of pokeani bloggers from back then weren’t really interested in Sun & Moon (probably because of the animation change), so I was one of few who still stayed for the ride and that really benefited my blog’s exposure. I absolutely loved Lillie’s character development, and I also did not expect myself to enjoy Lana/Suiren’s character so much! Brock & Misty’s was a huge highlight for me as well seeing my childhood come to a modern-day Pokémon series. I was surprised to have popular people reblog my stuff that destroys my notifications per second. I was even flattered when popular pokéblogs such as shelgon, corsolanite, chasekip, and a few others followed me. Back then I really wanted to get a lot of notes, but at this point I just wanted to be myself and post screen-caps that I feel like talking about. The series also motivated me to start making GIFs since I finally had access to Adobe Photoshop through my university’s application benefits. Later in 2017, I graduated from college and it gave me more time to improving my blog. Also, can you believe it took me 3 years to get 1,000 followers? If you asked me from day 1, I would have never expected to get that much since I had no idea about tumblr’s audience.

Everyone here knows that my blog doesn’t really follow “traditional” tumblr methods such as tags or making specific posts and what not (since I’m not really that into the tumblr culture lol...I’m just here for fun doing my own thing), but I hope I’ve brought something different to your dash experience 🙃

2017-2018 (Making friends)

From 1,000 to 2,500+ followers the next year. You’d be surprise how small that still is compared to the other popular Pokéblogs that joined tumblr later than me, but I’m still grateful for that number. My hype for movie 20 was crazy! I’d always make a post about it when a new trailer was out. But just like Sun & Moon, not everyone was looking forward to the AU it produced. The Let’s Go games shared the same fate as well since everyone didn’t want another Kanto, but I always defend the things that deserve a chance! I fairly enjoyed movie 20 though, and was the first movie that I posted screen-caps and GIFs for in this blog, even made an experience post about it watching it in the theaters! What’s MOST important to me during this time was actually interacting with some of my followers...or should I say friends now :) Out of the 5 years I’ve been here (not counting serebiiforum peeps I’ve known since 2013), I only recently talked to some of you around 2017. My interactions with people here have been awesome (for the most part at least lol) from sharing interests, geeking out over the anime, sending memes xD and concerns when P J isn’t feeling P J. You know who you are, and THANK YOU for cheering your boy up in times when I needed it despite not telling you about it <3 Going back to PokéAni hype, my next excitement attack was when they announced the Aether Foundation and Ultra Beasts were getting involved in the main story. It really makes up for no Alola movie...but hey we still got 1 year left, so maybe there’s hope?

Despite the brief breaks I took, P J’s activeness in the fandom has reached its highest when I managed the time to do scheduled posts and even started a few mini-blog series this year. Even during stressful times, I always make it an effort to find time and contribute to the fandom. I honestly don’t care if I get any asks because I know who the real homies are ◉‿◉つ A special shoutout as well to all the people that joined my Discord server through this website. I couldn’t have reached 100+ members without some of your blogs ^_^ And to the lurkers out there (I know some of y’all are creepin’ in the shadows of my blog without liking anything), you may not know it but I love you people too ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

Anyway this is just a summary of my journey here so far, and if you’d to hear a more in-depth story on some toxic things I’ve experienced in this fandom just message me. I personally don’t like venting out stuff in public because it just promotes more negativity, and I’m not about that. I will make a separate post on my feelings toward the schedule change maybe next week, and an appreciation post (5th tumblr blogaversary) for my specific followers January 2019. I am still preparing for that because there are so many people (even ones I don’t even talk to) I want to thank ❤ Moving forward into my 6th year, I probably won’t make another post like this anytime soon...but I am very hopeful for the future of the SM series and possible Gen. 8 anime late 2019. I also do plan on making some PokéAni-related stuff in my YouTube channel when the time is right, and have the resources to do projects. Keep your eyes out fam 👀LET’S F’N GO!

#The PokémonJesus reflection #P J's thoughts #PokeAni #Pokemon anime #5 years of being in the PokéAni fandom...what a bumpy ride #TPJ Takeover #END_TAKEOVER...good times and good night! Until next post PEACE ✌️

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pendragonfics · 8 years ago

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It's The Great Pumpkin, Leonard McCoy

Paring: Leonard McCoy/Reader

Tags: female reader, fluff, friendship, Halloween, interior decorating.

Summary: Four times the Reader decorates the Medbay for her favourite celebration, Halloween.

Word Count: 2,306

Posting Date: 2016-10-30

Current Date: 2017-05-28

There was something about living in Outer Space on a ship, constantly working which drove you to where you were right at this moment. Yes, you worked hard, and respected your coworkers and your bosses, and you were a trustworthy person, that was very true. And anyone would be quick to label you as passionate. So, it was perfectly reasonable to plot what you were plotting. The truth was, as a triage nurse, you were one with reasonably little time, hands often full, and mind overfilling with things which could rarely come true for those on your pay grade.

Yet, it was Halloween in the morning, and a quick call to those on the Bridge (you had a yellow shirt in a chair who owed you a favour), and you were carrying decorations he had been hoarding back to the main Medbay. The clock above the doorway ticked, turning time through its hands as it became morning, early. Yes, there were the night team on shift, and the patients sleeping in overnight observation were not interrupted. But still, you hung the paper decals of skulls and their skeletons, gourds, and it was while you were stringing the line of small paper pumpkins when a shadow loomed in the entrance.

"What's this about, Nurse ________?"

Turning, you saw the familiar dark head of hair attached to the CMO, Dr. McCoy. Your superior officer. With a guilty grin, you hold up the last piece of pumpkin-strung line with vigour. "Halloween, sir. All Hallow's Eve is tomorrow, and I couldn't have us missing out."

He raises a brow, and without a word, crosses the threshold to help you place the last piece on the wall into place. "I know what Halloween is, I'm no corn-fed idiot," he grumbles, dusting his hands onto his cerulean sweater. "I'm just wondering why a triage nurse like yourself is doing awake during recuperation hours."

Your guilty smile widens. "All in the name of fun, sir. Which reminds me, I really should be going back for a quick nap before my shift starts." You gesture to the clock, along with all the decorations you had put up to get everyone into the holiday spirit, "I was hoping to surprise you, sir, but you seemed shocked enough for me."

Dr. McCoy shakes his head, helping you get down from the little ladder. "It's three in the morning, Nurse ________, anything could have shocked me, let alone," he motions to the picture you plastered on the wall, of a large pumpkin, "Whatever that is."

You gasp. "That's - it's the Great Pumpkin, Dr. McCoy!" you gush, "It's from the 20st Century - prime Earth cultural history, my favourite story as a child for the Halloween time of year!" you confide.

He nods, and takes your elbow. "That sounds great and all, but I'm going to have to walk you back to your lodging, _______, before you're too dead on your feet to do your real job." His snark is still sharp. "And I don't care if you object. As your superior -,"

You shake your head. "You're too kind, sir, but I was going off anyway. Don't you have to be in the Medbay, though?" you add.

"I'm in charge of the thing, it can wait half an hour," he grumbles. "C'mon, you."

II.

It happened to be three hundred and sixty five days later when you found yourself in the same place you had been a year ago. Not even halfway through the decorating of the paper decals, you heard a throat clear behind you. It was the same tone of throat-clearing you were used to listening to in your everyday life, and without flinching, you pasted the next picture upon the wall.

"It seems we meet again, Dr. McCoy," you grin over your shoulder.

"What is this?" he frowns.

You can't help it, but a fizzle of laughter erupts from somewhere within yourself. "Don't you remember from the last time you walked in on me decorating? It's that season again on Earth, sir."

The CMO growls. It isn't an angry growl, or something you'd hear out of the mouth of a wild animal, but something annoyed, and vaguely human. "Are you sassing me, Nurse ________?" his lips are thin, a straight line, but it isn't that which makes the giggles within you bubble out a little more. It's the way his eyes aren't in on the act of being angry -- no, faux angry.

"Only for my favourite CMO, sir," you turn back to the chain in your hands. "If you're not too busy, I would appreciate some help with the decorating."

His hands gather the length, and for the rest of the night, the both of you work in silence around those on the night shift.

III.

"It's the thirtieth of October, Miss _______. " The blue-shirted Dr. McCoy approaches you in the cafeteria. His face is not forming his usual frown, or sarcastic bluff, but his lips are pulled into a small smile. Smug. "It's getting late, and you're nowhere near the Medbay."

You turn to him, and spare a smile. "That is an acutely accurate observation, sir," you return to your business at the coffee machine, finishing off filling your latte with a sprinkle of pumpkin spice atop the froth. "You can't blame a nurse for grabbing her favourite seasonal drink, Dr."

He hesitates, watching as you place the lid atop the cup, and take a sip. Without a word, he follows you to a table, sitting opposite each other. You cock an eyebrow, and place the cup between your hands, in the centre of the table. "What I might ask, sir, is why you're so suspicious of someone whose only flaw is consuming too much caffeine, and enjoying an Earth holiday."

He grumbles under his breath, but you don't catch the words.

"You know, I think I left something in the Medbay," you rub your eye, and glance to the clock above the entrance to the cafeteria. "You wouldn't mind escorting a gal, would you, Dr. McCoy?" you take a sip of your drink.

He shakes his head, standing. "Come on then, gal, let's get this over with."

You flash him a grin over the cup, and flank his stride. "Oh, you sure know how to charm a nurse, sir." Taking another sip, you sigh. "As soon as I get what I need, I really need some sleep." you share with the CMO of the Enterprise. "I really should be off to bed soon, I've the double shift for once."

He grunts. "You really shouldn't be drinking that if you want to sleep, Nurse ______."

"I know," you shrug, and add, "But it's decaf, sir, and I love Halloween more than anything."

It's now you notice that Dr. McCoy has stopped walking. His feet are planted to the floor, face blank, but you have experience enough to read what he has unconsciously written across his head. Slowly, as he takes it in, his mouth falls slowly ajar.

"How...?" he whispers.

You cross your arms. The Medbay has been decked out, orange streamers and the same ol' decals that you'd put up the years before out and bright on the walls. The rest of the ship is the USS Enterprise. Inside, it is the land of Halloween.

"I have my ways," you muse, and patting Dr. McCoy, you walk your way to your bunk. "I'll see you in the morning, sir."

IV.

It was finally your time for shore leave; while yes, the USS Enterprise had been docked and other members of the ship had been and had their time off, you never found the opportunity for it until now. It was four days until your favourite holiday of the Earth calendar, and luckily for you, there was a small Earth colony on the planet, with plenty of stores selling things you needed for the Halloween celebration.

You were dressed in your comfortable off-duty clothes, and not three metres away from the human community, you saw from the corner of your eye that you had someone following you. But as you turn, you see none other than your boss.

"I'd ask why you're following me, sir, but I already know." you beam at Dr. McCoy. He's wearing a thick pair of boots, and a long jacket which shields the winds of the planet from his form. His hair is ruffled by the weather, unkempt, much unlike himself.

He hums, hands deep in his pockets.

"Twofold. You're curious about what I'm to pull off this year, and that your regular, not-coworker friends are too busy in their own matters. Or not. I'm as human as you are, I have no special mind-reading abilities."

He chuckles. "You're right on all accounts, Miss ________."

The both of you enter the colony, and as soon as you see a store displaying merchandise for the Halloween season, your steps increase, and Leonard McCoy is left to follow you in your wake to where you've run off to. But by the time he reaches the inside of the store, you're already gathering things to purchase, arms full of decorations and packets of things he can't read at the distance he stands from. You gently nudge a pumpkin with your foot, and give him a hopeful smile.

"My arms are full - I mean, could you please," you stammer, but before your sentence is finished, his arms are full of the large, bright orange pumpkin. It is a sight you wouldn't have ever guessed yourself to have the luck to see - Dr. McCoy, your boss, holding a large pumpkin like a toddler, jaw set, eyes alight like always. "Thank you, sir. I was hoping you'd help me carve it for the Medbay, just for something a little different..."

Leonard McCoy closes his communicator shut with a snap. His friend and superior James Kirk hadn't heard from his friend ________, neither had any of his other friends, or even coworkers. The logon for Medbay said she had clocked in two days ago for work, but nothing since then.

Despite himself, he missed the triage nurse, the one who brought him to smile when nobody could see, to cloud his thoughts when nothing else was on his mind. If it were any other person, he'd diagnose it as lovesickness. But not him. He was ... concerned. She spent all year planning how to celebrate Halloween, and yet, it was the night before, and there was no sign of her. It was the last year of the mission too. She would never miss out on it for the world.The stars.

He tells the next in charge to run things for the next hour, and at that, he sets off in the direction of _______'s room. Not too long a walk later, he reaches it, and raises a hand to knock.

Nothing.

Just as he's about to walk off, he hears something. A thump. He isn't a forward man, not since he was a reckless young man, but without hesitating, he overrides the locking system for the door, and faces what has happened inside _______'s small residence.

Laying on the floor, surrounded by fallen sheets and bed stuff is the form of ______, pale and sickly. The alarm clock lays with her on the ground, and without dithering, he gathers your form in his arms, and storms back to the Medbay to make sure you're not more than half dead or worse.

---

Your eyes flutter open, vision blurry, you come to. But the first thing you see is the flurry of blue shirts around you and the room, working tirelessly, and the undeniable shade of orange decorating the walls.

"What - happened?" you groan, moving to sit up.

There's a pressure on the end of your bed, and moving your head, you see the face of Dr. McCoy. He has no frown, no grimace, not one muscle in his face pulled into something of contempt. Instead, there's something in those bright eyes of his you have not seen before, something caring. "You've somehow contracted the flu, Miss _______," he informs you, and taking a deep, he adds, "You'll be on bed rest in here as long as it takes you to get better."

Your heart races at that. "But sir, I have to - I have to decorate -,"

He leans back, giving you a small smile. "No need. We've already done that for you."

On the walls, the ceiling, the floor are little decorations, some new and some the same as the other years you had taken it upon yourself to celebrate the spooky season. Your mouth runs dry at the same time your eyes moisten, and you shed a tear.

"Why you crying, darlin'?" he frowns, puzzled.

You rub your eyes, yet more tears fall. "I can't believe you actually did that for me, sir. It's so nice of you to - to hang the chain of gourds and there's a pumpkin, like last year..."

He nods, and adds in a small voice, "I even put up that big picture of the good pumpkin you like, too."

You can't help it but giggle at that, even if it hurts your throat. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Leonard McCoy," you correct him. "Oh my goodness ... how can I ever repay you?"

The CMO takes a second to think, and looking at you straight in the eye, he clears his throat, face growing redder by the second. It's very unlike himself, but still, here he is, sitting at the end of your bed, "I could take you out sometime, when you're well, maybe when we are back on Earth," he proposes, wringing his hands together so tight, you can see them growing white and bloodless under his grip.

Slowly, you reach out to take his hand. "I would love to, sir."

#leonard mccoy #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x oc #bones #bones mccoy #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader #star trek alternate original series #star trek x reader #chaotic--lovely #pendragonfics #Female reader

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wildlove836 · 8 years ago

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2017

wow. okay. when I said 2016 fuck me up I didnt mean literally.

but god damn, once again I’ve rung in the new year heartbroken as can be, but wait there’s more. I fell in love with someone. he’s somehow worse than the last guy and hell I love him a thousand times more.

I’ve dealt with so much shit this year. I’m in a relationship with a drug addict. I didnt know it until about 3 months ago. I mean I knew, but I didnt know.

He asked me to marry him literally the 3rd day we spent together. no I didnt say yes, but apparently I did because now hes calling me his fiance n shit. I ‘lost’ my virginity to this guy. It sounds fucked up but it isnt as bad as it seems. or maybe it is and I still have a long way to go before I figure it all out.

I think I really love him. I think he really loves me. But people keep telling me he’s going to love those little crystals more.

I’ve seen some shit. My humdrum life has done a fucking tail spin in the last 6 months. I went from a full tank of gas and watching netflix all day to $1.43 in my bank account and needles hidden in the dresser drawers.

I’ve seen junkies, I’ve had shit stolen. I’ve watched him physically and mentally change without even noticing.

I’ve been choked and pushed and bruised and screamed at. I’ve done the same things back in a rage I didnt know I was capable of.

I’ve heard stories from child hood that make no sense but make perfect sense and I know I cant change the past but I’d very much like to.

I smoked weed and that shit was great at first but now its the only way I cant really talk to you, it seems. you told me that wasnt it but trust me. i’m too afraid to tell you the truth when we’re not...chill.

I’ve cried and screamed and walked away. I’ve waited hours upon hours for you to call. I havent slept and I’ve slept too much. I had a real panic attack for the first time in my life.

I’ve sat in the ER with you for 6+ hours after you crashed your car from being on adderall. I watched you literally mentally and physically break down in the pizza hut parking lot while normal fucking people watched and wondered what the fuck they could do for you and I just sat there next to you counting change from your pockets because you lost the receipts.

im sorry. i lost them somehow. who fucking knows. i’ll take the blame for it though if thats what I have to do.

i walked across train tracks wondering if maybe my foot my get caught while you told me you were addicted to sex and of course I should have already known this but surprise I didnt. its still my fault though.

we missed trick or treat with your daughter because you were on acid.

then the other day you brought her to my house and slept the whole time. you said what does it matter my parents see me taking her out of the house. well what the fuck do you care right. if you’re playing the part of dad. you son of a bitch. i love that girl and I know you do too but you better try harder. you better or you’ll lose faster if you have her.

I’ve seen you coming down down down. with a knife in your hands and the doors locked and the lights off. I’ve watched cops drive by thinking you were already dead.

I’ve had the best sexual experiences with you and only you. I got drunk and gave you a blow job after knowing I’d never have a dick in my precious mouth.

you called me perfectly imperfect for a while, now that i’ve lost my innocence you call me your miracle. these days I feel like a burden. enabler is the word i’m trying not to say because I know its the truth. but i didnt know. i swear i didnt.

and not in the fucking physical sense. i’m not giving him money or anything like that. im stressing him the fuck out. BUT FUCK HE NEVER MAKES ANY SENSE. and im stressed out too. doesnt anybody see that?

everybody knows him like I know him now. a fucking mind fuck. this little twat can turn a sentence around on you so quick you’re wondering what you even said in the first place. this mother fucker can have you so god damn confused you’re rethinking your whole life.

he does it on purpose. I think so he feels more normal on the inside. the only question I have is, was it the meth that brought it out of him or was it destined to come out eventually on its own. the crazy will never subside and I must admit that’s what somehow attracts me to him.

feeling like a complete dumbass after every conversation we have. BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THIS. he’ll say, like I already knew it. and then i’ll realize I did already know it. he was telling me all along, but in his own way. like a secret language. and I cant fucking afford the rosetta stone for crazy talk.

half the relationship i spend KNOWING this shit isnt right for me and here i am thinking i have to do this i have to do this but i still dont know what love is. its breaking the god damn futton i know.

there’s no doubt about what i feel but really is it worth it. will he kill me. will i kill him. ive done things i never thought i would do. ive seen things i never thought i would see. the world is my fucking oyster over here. anything is possible. anything can happen. anything.

regardless, here I am. alone and wondering what hes doing. if he’s okay. a thousand and one fucking questions because he doesnt have a phone for me to call. and somehow now it feels like its my fault. it is my fucking fault and im crying a lot right now because of it. and im alone. so he can calm down. but i cant calm down without him. i need him. i need him. I NEED HIM. and im going insane worrying and wondering and crying and feeling okay for a little while.

now im just mad because hes okay without me. hes okay. and im not okay. it isnt fair. FUCK YOU. it isnt fair. do you even love me? DO YOU EVEN CARE. DO YOU EVEN DO YOU EVEN DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME. duh.

WHY DID I QUIT MY FUCKING JOB. I had what I needed. besides clarity and sanity so fuck, you cant blame me. hes been driving me insane since he spotted me.

but I know he fucking loves me. crazy people dont fuck around with shit like that. if they mean it they mean it. i feel it. I know it. I love it. its the only thing I understand ever. is my love for him. is it true. is it real. who fucking cares. its real and its ever present and its mostly reciprocated in good and bad ways. if i could walk away from it i already would have . i swear. i already would have but i havent so get off my fucking back.

but love is hard they tell me. love is fucking hard as hell and you’ve got to suffer before you can enjoy that shit, otherwise its not worth it. I realize this is too long and i’m not gonna reread it so nobody else is probably going to read it. thats okay. i needed to get it down on ‘paper’ just in case.

god just fucking pray for me or something. every time I feel like something is going to get worse it does okay. I had people burning up spoons in the trailer we were supposed to live in just to shoot up heroin and I was too busy making sure my boyfriend wasnt killing himself in a shed to realize.

old dude (thats what they call people in fairdale) literally over dosed in the bed that was supposed to be mine. in the bedroom that was supposed to be mine but I cant say anything about it? I CANT SAY ONE GOD DAMN WORD ABOUT IT?

nah because bf is too nice to people who ‘care’ to realize what they’re really doing in the big picture. she put her clothes in the closet that was supposed to be mine. mine. FUCKING MINE. but i cant be mad because shes homeless and has cancer. what a fucking lifetime movie. I DIDNT NEED THIS TO KNOW I WAS A SELFISH PERSON. I ALREADY KNEW. I’M GOOD AT HIDING IT. I WANT MY CLOSET SPACE BACK. I see drug abuse and friendship and something strikes me as sketchy. OMG. and dont get me started on the cheating.

he cheats on me. he puts his dick inside his best friend while they’re fucked up on whatever. they tell me she says no everytime he asks but this time she didnt. oh wow. what a perfect picture of a life im stuck in. what a romantic gesture. WHAT A FUCKING ROMANTIC COMEDY OF LIFE. i can keep my perfect pussy to myself and he cant go one fucking day without trying to put his dick in something. I WILL BUY YOU A FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT TO FUCK IF THAT WILL KEEP YOUR DICK OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

he says hes taking a shit when he goes over there but he takes a shit every time and they’re long shits. idk if its to fuck or whatever but its for sure about drugs. drugs that tear people apart and keep the glued together and they’re fucking ripped seams. god this sounds like fucking trash and it is. it literally is. and I know it but I cant do a damn thing about it because I love this trash. hes not trash. but he acts like it.

I know he’s not trash because somehow he has it all figured out. its like his autistic niche is seeing into the future and knowing for god damn sure that something is going to turn out the way it is but he wont fucking tell me. just straight up tell me the truth.

naaaah. that’d be too logical. he’d rather tell me the alternative lie. to keep me safe. HA. OKAY FROM WHAT. my life is so fucked up now.

needless to say 2016 has royally fucked me up. there’s probably a shit ton of stuff I forgot to mention and I should of because this is my collective fuck up recap but oh well. its not the last of it anyway. I know that for damn sure.

I just hope that when we get married or whatever the fuck next big thing happens in our lives. I hope it balances out the bad shit. because the bad shit is getting really hard to deal with. like really hard. like my hands are shaking sometimes hard and i feel like i cant kill myself because even in death i’d be worried about you and its nobodys fault but its our fault.

I know it is. he’s not even supposed to be in a relationship right now and what does this fucker do. he falls in love. true love with an innocent girl who has no idea what shes about to fucking go through. god damn. somebody help me. somebody really help me. I know I will always love him. more than the other mother fuckers I thought I cared about. I will fucking love him.

I FUCKING LOVE HIM. it makes me angry how much i love him. because it hurts me. a lot. but I wont stop. I cant. i wont. i never will. even if he stops loving me. i dont see how. but if he did. i’d still be calling and showing up and waiting outside and peeping in windows like a fucking nutcase. its my fucking ride or die. even if we broke up and i met someone else. god its not gonna be like this. it might be better. it might be a fucking dream. it might be date nights and morning kisses and flowers at work. but it wont be this. it wont be what i have with tey. nothing will ever be like this.and i fucking love that. im obsessed. im entranced. im in deep heartache love.

and ironically he does literally the worst thing he could do. the worst thing. he could. is love me irrevocably. whole heartedly. stubbornly. passionately. intentionally. desperately. in return. a love that i could live with for eternity. without a shadow of a doubt love. til the day we die in each others fucking arms.

its killing him. its killing us. but its keeping us alive.

how sobering is that shit.

#2017 #NewYearNewMe #relatinship #boyfriend #love #writing #spilledink #addiction #drugs #help me #literally #im so lost #and so in love

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morethanonepage · 8 years ago

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2016 Fic Writing Round-up

I was tagged by @kittyaugust! I always love doing these, thanks so much for giving me the chance to!

Total 2016 Word Count: 61,508 Total 2016 Hits: (AO3 only) 21,573 Other 2016 AO3 Stats:

Total 2015 Word Count: 33,490 Total 2015 Hits: (AO3 only) 11,772 Other 2015 AO3 Stats:

lmao that’s what’s called going from a david fandom (Constantine) to a goliath (Star Wars). But still, Jesus Christ, that differential: I literally more than doubled kudos and hits!

More detailed stats:

And since I had all those numbers anyway:

And just for fun:

It always feels like I write WAY too much porn but....the numbers do not actually reflect that. It’s not even a majority of what I posted this year!

For fun I also did comment rate (how many comments per kudos a fic got), response rate and comment rate by word count (I was curious if my longer fics were better/worse received -- there doesn’t seem to be any correlation though), and then average comment and response rates depending on rating, which actually seems to indicate my gen and teen fics are better received than my porn.

*Obviously my kudos/hits ratio doesn’t account for repeated readings, which you can’t kudo for -- everything here’s just a rough estimate. But conventional fanfic writer wisdom (that I’ve noticed) is that a 10% response rate is what to aim for -- higher than that is always phenomenal.

Links and titles to 2016 works

Star Wars -- The Force Awakens/Shattered Empire

save an x-wing, ride an ex-stormtrooper (1745 words) -- Finn/Poe smut to start off the New Year! I started this on January 3 and posted it on January 4. That’s phenomenal for me. Unprecedented, honestly. I think this is the most popular Finn/Poe fic I’ve written, not that I’ve written that many, relatively. Mostly I just wanted to use the title and was afraid someone else was going to scoop it. Response rate (kudos/hits * 100, which is to say, how many people who read it deemed it worth a kudos): 9.7%*

If the Refresher’s a-Rockin'… (2046 words) -- More Finn/Poe porn, just trying to get it out of my system at that point I guess. I do like some of the Finn stuff I snuck in there at the end, about stormtrooper training & what it prepared him for. This one wasn’t as popular (hit wise_ as the other, but it had a higher response rate (11%), so that’s something. Four day turn around time.

going, going, gone (2700 words) -- Ahhhhh my infamous Poe & Kylo Ren fic. I got a lot of Poe/Kylo shippers reading that which is....the opposite of what I wanted. It was 100% more meant to be about Poe and his ability to forgive and find decency in people than about Kylo Ren actually having any left but uh....people still wanted a sequel. I was very diplomatic about the possibilities of that but real talk: no. Especially not with the current state of TFA fandom. An unsurprisingly high response rate at 13.5%.

bleed and fight for you (make it right for you) (2938 words) -- Some Shara/Kes stuff, which I was super excited about but wouldn’t have written as quickly (in five days) if not for the fact that someone one the kinkmeme was a brat about the prompter of this asking for Shara & Kes related stuff. My You know what???!!! spite writing was p fast at the beginning of the year -- now I’m just tired. Response rate at 13.1%, which is nice.

Seisin (2375) -- More Shara/Kes stuff, with my Yavin IV love creeping in. Mostly written because Snow Patrol’s “The Finish Line” came up on shuffle and I was like dang, that’s such a post-war Shara/Kes on Yavin IV song, so then I wrote the image that came into my head. I legit wrote it all in one day and posted it write away, it seems. Response rate: 13%.

not what ships are built for (4401) -- Oooof, my eternal shame, a WIP. Finn/Poe, I felt so confident going in that I had enough of a grasp on it that I could actually finish it according to a timeline, but then it turned out -- I could not. I liked the idea I had for it, alternating POV fics are always fun to work through, an interesting way to keep in practice with both characters and get a good idea of everyone’s personality and everything. Maybe one day I’ll get back to it; it’s another one of those things I should’ve outlined ON (digital) PAPER and not just in my head, because now I’m not sure where I wanted to go with it anymore. If I give it another read through maybe I’ll figure it out? Response rate: 10.2%.

and so it goes (11401) -- Yessssss the Id Fic. Meant to be the fluffiest sweetest first love nonsense imaginable, to counteract a lot of fandom trends and also make up for all the gooey Kylux stuff (which: lbr, I read too). I JUST WANT FINN AND POE TO BE HAPPY. Also featuring Kes Dameron Is A Good Dad, my favorite trope. Anyway I was really surprisingly happy with this fic, which is rare. Response rate: 10.2%

K-I-S-S-I-N-G (2530) -- I saw an Imagine Your OTP type thing about tree climbing trees and it was so cute that it struck me instantly as an Id Fic moment to explore. So there we are. Writing this fic made it kind of a series so now they’re the Teenage Dreams universe. Response rate: 12.3%.

a strong enough foundation (21274) -- This was informally called the Travelogue Fic for the longest time, because so much of it is about (my conception of) Yavin IV. It’s also a fic that’s incredibly personal to me, at least w/r/t the imagery and the reactions to a lot of the Typical Yavin IV Things. It’s also 21K words of gen, so I get why it’s got the lowest response rate of anything I wrote this year (7%) but I still feel like...it was good for me to write.

(do it on my) twin bed (3514) -- Another Finn/Poe fic originally from the kinkmeme, which I finally brought to my AO3 at the end of 2016 to have something nice and fluffy to end the year on. It’s also got a lot of Yavin IV/Poe’s childhood details going on, because I love that shit. Response rate: 13.8%.

Constantine

culpability (3493 words) -- John/Chas. I have like a million (four. I have four) John/Chas things started that’ve been languishing in Evernote for at least a year, and then I decided, on a whim and for reasons I don’t even recall, to write & finish this from scratch. It took me 23 days (started October 22, published November 14), which is a relatively short turn around for me. It’s also got the highest response rate of anything I wrote this year, at almost 19%. Probably because Constantine fandom and John/Chas shippers in particular don’t have a lot of other options at the moment as to what to read lmao.

Favorite Fic: a strong enough foundation and culpability are probably tied -- the former because it’s very personal, the latter because I still love John/Chas stuff SO MUCH and I was proud of myself for getting it done. and so it goes is also so soft & lovely though, and the comments I got for it were some of my very favorite.

Hardest Fic: Finishing a strong enough foundation was a fucking challenge, especially since I knew that a 21k gen fic full of OCs was never going to be a fandom classic & I personally thrive on attention.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2017? I mean I’m personally always taking prompts, but people should be aware that I am an incredibly slow writer unless I’m in PRECISELY the right mood and even then, it can be tricky. So yeah I could agree to take a prompt but not finish it for a year. Or it could be done the next day. It always varies, with me.

What was the best thing about 2016? Well, I passed the bar, so that was pretty nice. Fandom wise...I guess I found my own little community to work within, of people who don’t drive me bananas. I mean the rest of it still exists, but. At least I’ve got my own little bubble to vent with sometimes.

What was the worst thing about 2016? The whole of it. I stopped being able to read Finn/Poe fic and I’m not super eager to start it again, which is disappointing, because I do like to keep up with fandom trends, at the very least -- I like to know what there’s already too much of, so I don’t give people more of the same that no one’s going to want to bother with, etc.

Any last thoughts for 2016? Obviously I could’ve done more, writing wise, but I’m genuinely surprised at how much I actually did do, so here’s hoping I keep up with that trend. Of course, I was unemployed for a majority of 2016, so that probably helped my fic writing productivity somewhat -- hopefully that won’t be the case in 2017.

I’ve been having a bit of a writer’s block recently, but idk if it’s because I’m annoyed with fandom currently, or just worried about my unemployment, or at my parents’ house and always busy, or what. But I’m hoping my inspiration will come back soon, maybe even with the return of Constantine (conditionally. maybe. in a strange format & weird conditions) or the next Star Wars preview or something.

Goals for 2017

I have an informal list of things I jotted down on like the first or the second day of the year, so hopefully I’ll be able to get through at least a few of those

Generally speaking I want to keep to a writing schedule -- in November I tried to do like 30 minutes/500 words a day and 100% didn’t stick to it, but by tracking how many I did manage to write and on what days I wrote, I got the Travelogue done and finished culpability as well. So a substantial amount of work on two fics, both of which got posted eventually, is a good start. Hopefully once I have a job and a routine down, it’ll be easier to set a time and stick to it; the problem then will be both creativity and exhaustion.

Having confidence in my writing abilities is always a challenge and it’s never come easy for me, plus I’m such a slow writer, so feedback, which is the one thing that really genuinely helps me, is hard to come by. But I do feel more confidence about my strengths and abilities than I have in the past, so I’m hoping to at least be able to hold on to that.

I want to stop feeling guilty for what I write or what I want to write -- I like to be organized and I like to have an order of things to work on (”you need to finish this thing first before you can work on the other”) but I don’t know if that actually ends up motivating me. So considering some of the other things fandom gets up to, none of the things I’d rather be working on sometimes are like -- horrible.

#2016 Fic Writing Round-up #writing

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asnuttyasafruitcake · 5 years ago

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My 2019

Hello again my tumblr reader whoever and wherever you are.

I thought that i lost this tumblr, because of Indonesian government has block this tumblr. But fortunatelty it was back, and i can open my account again and write this story.

First of all i want to appologize if my english was bad, because i havent learn again since 2018, so please dont mind my bad english.

Idk where to start because i have missed so many story perhaps.

So i decided to tell you how was my 2019 like.

On the last of 2018 i started to look for the job, after i graduated. You know in here, it was a little bit hard to get a job for a fresh graduated like me. Because in my University, in only one year, there are about four thousand student that just graduated. Can you imagine that? That i have to compete with all of them, also with any other Universities in my Town. It was very hard. But then i once getting a message from one governance institute. It was invitation to join the selection. Long story short, it wasnt end very well, i pass the test, and finally i have to pass the last interview at that time. But it was actually my very very first interview. Im very sick at that time, i got very bad influenza that i cant speak very well because of my clogged nose. But yeah, like always, God helped me. Even i cant join that company at that time, but i can speak very well, out of my influenza and clogged nose.

Okay then, that was just my first experience, there are more.

But i just want to tell my last experience and since then, i had work in this company until today.

I just bring my documents to apply in the Whole city. Some are looking for candidates, that they are accept my documents, but some dont. But usually they accept my documents, even that there are no news. One time, i applied in a Bank, because of my friend Yohana. After that the bank call me for join the selection by test.

After i pass the test, in the afternoon, they call me for the interview. But then i didnt come. I guess this how God’s Plan work. Because, i thought if i didnt come then i lost the chance. At that time, i have to attend the interview in other place. Actually im not also too interested with this Bank, so i decided to go to other place at that time.

But you know what, then the following weeks, the bank call me again, to interview. In this second opportunity, i attend the interview. After that i got interview like three or four times. After the interview, i have to follow the last test, like psychological test before i join the company. I actually didnt put many hope in this company. But yeah, i get called to do the medical check up. I am so thankful that i finally pass and can join this company.

At that time i got surprised that i have to attend the 3 months training in Jakarta. At that time im so confused, because they said that maybe i couldnt go back to my hometown. But actually i did, even i have to get separated with my bf for that period of time, but we can make it too.

It was very nice to go to Jakarta, because last time i get there is on 2016, when Jimmy gets married. And then i get there again for 3 months, get the place to live, and some pocket money to live there. Im actually very happy with that. I thank God for every opportunity that He let me to choose. Now you can relate, how He’s been so good all this time on my life or your life, cant you?

I get so many experience there. I was training to be an account officer, to handle the people that got an account for credit for their business, and so on.

It was very fun to learn, and i got full month of study, because the training was very hard, like full training until 8pm, and we got so many assignment, that we have to wrote 40 pages of formula so we can memorize it forever. But i actually forget some of the formulas now. lol.

The best part was, i can meet new friend with new experience. I also join KTM there, and attend almost every week of their worship. Because fortunately their worship schedule is on Saturday, 5pm every week. After the worship, then i usually go to Cristy and Sophia’s board house or meet up with my SHS friend. It was very very nice to meet them all. Thanks to them and all of their kindness when i was there. Ive got so much fun. Thank God for them!

After the training, i got to do the on the job training, before i faced the final exam. The final exam determine whether i pass this or not. But thank God i pass this. And after that i became the employee of this Bank. It was very fun to meet a new friend, and they are all very kind to me. But sometimes, or many times i was making hard of them by making mistakes. I hope from all the mistakes, i can learn something, then be a better person, i hope.

Today is March 1st 2020, there are future that im going to chase with my target. I hope i can manage to achieve my target, and can be the real employee by August 2020. Please pray for me, okay?

Thankyou very much to read my story, please dont tell to anybody, Okay?

Happy Sunday and God bless you!

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walterfrodriguez · 5 years ago

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A-Rod is coming for NYC and SoFla real estate

Alex Rodriguez (Photos by Guerin Blask)

Alex Rodriguez has seen both his professional and personal life covered exhaustively in newspapers across the country for decades now.

But since retiring as the Yankees’ star third baseman in 2016 — and, according to Forbes, pocketing over $480 million during his 22-year, pro-baseball career — he’s become even busier.

He’s now juggling regular media appearances with color commenting baseball games (he’s a broadcaster for Fox Sports and part of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball team) and growing his real estate and investment empire, which all operates under his A-Rod Corp. umbrella.

He is also co-hosting a podcast, which launched last year, called The Corp, where he’s interviewed guests ranging from Martha Stewart and Kevin Bacon to real estate tycoons like Barry Sternlicht and Barbara Corcoran. Oh, he also has two daughters, ages 11 and 14, and is engaged to superstar singer, producer and actress Jennifer Lopez — aka J.Lo.

Since he founded the Miami-based A-Rod Corp. in 2003, the firm has purchased over 15,000 apartments across the U.S., deploying hundreds of millions of dollars on real estate and investing in companies like the hospitality startup Sonder, private jet startup Wheels Up, Snapchat and NRG eSports.

Sternlicht said Rodriguez has shown that he’s willing to put in the time and energy needed to succeed in business and said he comes to an “informed decision based on reasoned information and careful diligence.”

“Alex approaches business with the same dedication and passion he did baseball,” Sternlicht told The Real Deal via email. “Alex wants to win, really crush, in his work as he did in the majors.”

In July, A-Rod Corp. closed on a $4.5 million condo at Terra’s Grove at Grand Bay, twin luxury towers in Miami designed by starchitect Bjarke Ingels. (The company is building out its unit as an office and creating a ground-floor event space).

Meanwhile, in May, the Miami-based Monument Capital Management, A-Rod Corp.’s multifamily arm, launched its fourth residential fund focused on workforce housing with the majority of the roughly $50 million it raised coming from family offices and high-net-worth individuals, including fellow professional athletes (though he declined to name any).

It’s planning to buy about $200 million worth of real estate and has already closed on properties in Illinois and Tennessee with a third under contract in North Carolina. And it’s looking to launch a fifth fund, for $100 million, in 2020.

Workforce housing has been “one of the best places to take your money” because it has “tremendous yield and protective downside,” he said, during one of two interviews with TRD last month. The first of those conversations was at partner Stonehenge NYC’s Manhattan office, the second at his sprawling 11,000 square-foot Florida home, which has an indoor basketball court and where his art collection is on display.

In Miami, Rodriguez’s company is also investing in at least two developments, the Fairchild Coconut Grove, a boutique condo project, and a 31-story rental tower at 40 Northwest Third Street, the latter with Grand Station Partners.

On the New York front, last December, Adam Modlin, Rodriguez’s personal broker in New York, introduced him to Stonehenge CEO Ofer Yardeni and, six months later, the trio announced a partnership to buy rental buildings and condos in the Big Apple. They’re now in contract on their first deal: A 100-plus-unit rental building on East 51st Street in Manhattan.

The partners will be tapping their personal networks to raise about $500 million and then leverage that to buy $1 billion worth of value-add multifamily real estate in the city in the next 18 months, said Yardeni.

“Collaborating with [Rodriguez] will be extremely beneficial to all of us,” Yardeni said, noting that Rodriguez has a “tremendous network and an excellent reputation.”

“The vast network that he has can help Stonehenge go and raise capital from family officers, high-net-worth individuals and more institutional players because when Alex calls, everybody listens,” Yardeni added.

Modlin also gushed about Rodriguez, saying the retired Yankee has been “thinking about investing in New York City multifamily for years” and that he “brings a secret sauce.”

“Alex is a partner that anyone would dream to have,” Modlin said.

The 44-year-old Rodriguez — who just sold a home in Los Angeles (which he bought from Meryl Streep) for $4.4 million and unloaded a $17.5 million pad at 432 Park Avenue — spends about half the month in Miami. The other half is spent jet setting on his Gulfstream IV to New York, L.A. or wherever else his broadcasting responsibilities take him.

Below is an edited and condensed version of his conversations with TRD — which were more focused on real estate stats than baseball stats.

You made your first real estate purchase in your early 20s, only a few years into playing for the Seattle Mariners. Tell us about that deal. It was a duplex out of Miami. The reason I liked the investment was because it was 10 minutes from Miami Beach and 10 minutes from Coral Gables and it was near the water. I needed around $48,000 [for the] down payment. I was very nervous about it. It was near the Miami arena. My thesis for the investment was very simple — it was around fear. I felt that if I bought some real estate that over time, if I signed a 15- to 20-year note, that by the time I was 30 or 40 I would have a handful of assets with very little debt. That was my answer to not going bankrupt, owning hard assets.

So, is that why you initially got into real estate? You said you didn’t want to go bankrupt. That’s all I’ve ever known. I always say, stick to what you’re passionate about and what you know. Coming from a single mother, all we knew was renting. We never bought anything. I envisioned one day as a young man that if I got an opportunity to trade places with a landlord that I would.

Alex Rodriguez (center) with Adam Modlin (left) and Ofer Yardeni

Do you only purchase multifamily? We’re really focused. Yes, I play sports. But I play baseball. Yes, I play real estate, but I play multifamily. … I’d say [our] average is Class B properties. There’s always an added-value component to them.

You spent the majority of your baseball career on the Yankees under Joe Torre and Joe Girardi. What did you learn from them about running and managing an organization? Joe Torre and Joe Girardi were both great managers. They both held me accountable. They expected you to show up early and leave late and they did not micromanage. Joe Girardi was more hands on, and Joe Torre was more like the Godfather. I remember one time I was struggling and Joe Torre brought me into his office. He thought I was overworking. I was nervous because it was 2004 and it was my first year as a Yankee and they have this incredible history with so many championships. I thought he was going to be mad and really get upset with me and he said ‘Look, I think you’re pressing too much. If you turn around, there’s a beautiful bottle of wine, Silver Oak and next to it a cigar.’ He said, ‘I want you to go home, drink that bottle of wine.’ I said, ‘Well, I’m not much of a drinker of wine.’ He said, ‘Drink it and have a cigar, and come back, tomorrow’s game is at 7. If you show up before 6 o’clock I will fine you. So just show up and play.’ It made me so nervous to show up to the park so late. Usually, you’re there five or six hours before the game. [But] I show up around 6 o’clock. That night, I go out and hit a home run. The next night I go out and hit two home runs and off I went and finished that season very strong.

You went straight to the Mariners from high school, forgoing a scholarship to the University of Miami. Have you considered going back to school and getting any degrees? I’ve always thought about it. Joe Girardi always said that I was a teacher and a student at heart. And I think he’s right. I love to learn. I’m constantly trying to educate. I’ve been self-taught because I didn’t have any formal education. But I wouldn’t rule it out.

Does your team scout out opportunities and bring them to you? How involved are you in the whole process? I mean if you talk to Lane LaMure, Jeff Lee, Lisa Peier and Erin Knight [from my team], they’d probably tell you I’m involved too much. But I think that as we scale, we have to really count on our team. Ideas and opportunities come from all over the place.

How big is the company? It’s fluctuated. We were at one point 10,000 apartments. Today we might fluctuate by 3,000 to 6,000 depending on whether we’re buying or selling. We feel that it’s fairly late in the cycle right now. We take the philosophy that we sell 3,000 but we buy 1,000.

Are you worried about a recession? Are you preparing for that? We’re definitely in a defensive mode. We have our feet on the brakes a little bit. We made the decision about three years ago to start selling some of our portfolios and preparing for an opportunity. So, while we’re still buying, we’re cautious.

You’re investing in Chicago, New York and Miami. What other cities are you eyeing right now? We like to buy, fix [and] refinance. We’ve had a lot of success in secondary and tertiary markets, especially in the southeast. North Carolina has been great. We’ve had a lot of success in Texas. Chicago has been an incredible investment for us. … We’re very fortunate to have [Monument’s Chief Investment Officer] Stuart Zook leading the way. He’s always identifying new markets. Interesting markets where we haven’t been before are Tucson, Reno, Portland and Seattle. As we kind of move into the West Coast for the first time, it’s been a fun process. [Zook is] really good about picking what’s next. He’s got some great cities up his sleeve.

I read that you know Warren Buffet. What’s the best advice he’s given you? One of the lessons learned from Warren Buffet has been to do what you absolutely love to do with the people you love and respect. One of the interesting things I found with Warren is that he’s 89 and to this day, he’s still putting in six days of work. He’s in the office every day at 7:30. He reads five to eight hours a day.

Who else do you look up to in the real estate industry? I look up to Stuart Zook. I feel incredibly fortunate that I met him almost 11 years ago. I thought it was the biggest break of my [business] career to find a guy that’s managed over $2 billion in assets over the course of his career and who understands the game so well. Someone who’s extremely ethical and incredibly conservative. We do this all the time [head butting motion] because I want to buy, and he says ‘No, no, no.’ That’s why he’s a much better investor than I am and why our returns have been incredible. He’s like Ted Williams. If it’s not right down the middle, center cut … he does have Buffet-esque discipline. I wish mine could be that good. But I’m a little more aggressive.

Does being a celebrity works against you in business? It’s a great question. As an athlete, there’s a gift and a curse. Sometimes, people celebrate and take the meeting. But for the most part, they’re thinking that you’re just an athlete. So I think part of what you have to do as an athlete is surround yourself with institutional-type investors with incredible background so a) they understand that your infrastructure and your team is one that can play at the big-league level and b) be one that can actually follow through and do the things they say they can.

There were reports that you are launching a business reality show in the same vein as “Shark Tank” on NBC. What can you tell us about it? We can’t talk much about the business show, but we’re very excited about and it has a little bit of a “Shark Tank” twist.

You told a crowd at a 2018 real estate convention that J.Lo loves real estate and has a “superpower to see what’s good and what’s not.” Do you guys talk about real estate and do you have plans to invest in any projects together? Jennifer loves residential real estate. I love commercial real estate. So, we make a good team there. She has impeccable taste, obviously. When you walk into her home, it’s always impeccable, smells good and is always in great neighborhood.

You two recently sold your condo at 432 Park. Why did you sell? Was it an investment decision or a personal decision? It was a trade. We love the building. We went in, we bought it. We have a big family — we didn’t fit. We needed a little bit more space.

Are you looking for a new apartment in New York City? I wouldn’t say so. We’re happy.

You announced your engagement to J.Lo in March. When’s the wedding? Now that was a nice pivot. We went from New York real estate to the wedding. Why don’t we go back to New York real estate?

How did you first meet Adam Modlin and how did you make the jump from broker-client to business partners? I met Adam over 25 years ago over at Bergdorf Goodman when he was selling suits. I knew I was going to like Adam from the get-go because the suit cost $500 and he tried to sell it to me for $5,000. I said this guy’s a pretty good salesman. Adam Modlin is a savant when it comes to New York real estate.

What about Ofer Yardeni? I met Ofer through Adam. I met him in South Florida over dinner [at Prime 112 in Miami Beach]. We quickly hit it off. Then we set a meeting together that lasted three days on the West Coast. My partner, Lane LaMure, came out. Adam came out. Over the course of two or three days we put together what we thought was a really great idea to buy real estate in New York City. Ofer has an incredible background. He served in the Israeli military. … He has a great family, great morals, great ethics and great background. He brings that intensity from his [military] background. He’s up every day at 4 a.m., he’s working out by 5, in the office by 6:30 or 7. With my background in New York, it’s always been a dream of mine to own real estate [there]. It’s the best real estate in the world. To have an operator who essentially is like Michael Jordan in his space … I thought it would be a great partnership.

Principal of Monument Capital Management Stuart Zook and executive vice president Erin Knight

When do you plan to make your first NYC investments? We’re close to having a letter of intent for an asset right here in Manhattan. It’s a great opportunity for us. It’s rentals and it’s in Manhattan.

Where else do you see potential in New York? Around Yankees Stadium or around Citi Field in Willets Point and Flushing? I think that there’s upside around Yankee Stadium and around the Mets [at Citi Field]. I think both have a lot of upside. Anywhere in New York City, you have the potential. … But I think for this particular venture, we’re really focused on Manhattan.

A-Rod Corp. is moving to a condo in Coconut Grove. One your execs, Erin Knight, said the firm is bullish on the area. Are you planning any other investments there? Well, Erin Knight is from Miami and she went to school right down the street at Ransom Everglades. So, we ended up buying this beautiful office space. The kids go to school nearby and right across the street we’re developing about 27 apartments in a place called the Fairchild Coconut Grove, which is right on the water. We’re very bullish when it comes to Coconut Grove. In five or seven or 10 years, you’re not going to be able to recognize Coconut Grove. It’s going to be awesome.

Where else in Miami? We’re developing about 31 stories, 300 units in downtown Miami. We love rentals and it’s just a place that’s on fire. I love Coral Gables, Coconut Grove, Miami Beach. I wish I was spending more time in Miami

I read that $20 million of the $50 million you raised for that fund came from high-net-worth individuals. Have you tapped any other athletes or celebrities? We’re very diversified. They come from the private equity world, hedge funds and entertainment. We have probably a dozen athletes that have come on board. One of the things I’m very proud of with our LPs [limited partners] is that over 95 percent of anybody who’s come in has never left us. They just keep doubling, tripling down.

What advice do you give to young athletes who want to invest in real estate or start their own business? Do you get that question? Yeah, I do. We have several dozen athletes that have invested with us, and every single one of them has come back for more. [I say] ‘I made mistakes, just like I made mistakes in baseball. I had some failures, that’s part of it. But I think never trying to be involved, that’s also a mistake.’ Even if you’re not interested, you have to be interested in protecting your future. I think you have a responsibility to yourself and a fiduciary duty to your family. … Real estate, with the right partner, is a great hedge to the W2 income you earn as an athlete. While your career earnings potential downgrades, your real estate appreciates. The No. 1 thing I would say is find a great partner. … No. 2, find yourself a great lawyer [who can] structure deals in a way that you have downside protection and you’re not putting yourself out there. No. 3, I would say, never personally guarantee. No PG for an athlete. So many people have gotten hurt like that. And then fourth, I would say, find [a deal where] everybody has skin in the game.

Have they been happy with their investments? The greatest thing for me is when I send them their returns. I’ll send them an email, and they’ll call me right away. They’re like, ‘What? Are you serious?’ It makes me happy because a) it’s interesting to them and b) they’re connected and they have some passion behind it. And athletes are really smart people. … They just need a little financial coaching, financial literacy. But once they get it and they’re confident, they’re quick learners. They just have to have people that look out for them.

Is there someone who did that for you? I’ve always had a passion for it. And then I looked up to some of my buddies like Magic Johnson, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer, Pat Riley. All of them became friends and mentors. I really think that for athletes, picking great mentors is an incredible way to go. Almost like picking a board of advisers as diverse as you could think of — from age to gender to skill set. One thing that’s always going to be true is that you’re going to come into some challenges and choices. To be able to have a handful of people that you’ve very carefully put together, it’s so powerful. For me it’s been incredibly powerful to have people in the tech space, to have strong women, to have people in finance, to have people in sports. I can’t just have five athletes on my board.

Do you see opportunities in esports and other types of entertainment from a real estate angle? We own a big stake in NRG eSports in San Francisco. We’re building a new arena for them in SF, which we’re very excited about. We’re bullish about the space. When you think about esports in general, there’s more kids today playing esports than physical sports. While it’s great for the business of esports, it’s scary for the next generation.

How much cash do you have in your pocket? I have zero cash in my pocket. My money is in real estate. Why, do you want some of my money?

How do you manage your time? You’re extremely busy. I would say that it’s a blend between running A-Rod Corp. [and] media obligations. First and foremost is obviously being with my family and the kids.

Is this the busiest you’ve ever been? For sure. I thought I was busy when I played baseball. Even with baseball there’s a predictable schedule every day. This changes every day.

Do you still have an intense workout schedule? I try everywhere I go to get a workout in. I try every day to break a sweat, especially when I travel. I try to incorporate hot yoga. It relaxes me, it’s like meditation.

If you didn’t have baseball or real estate, what would you be doing? I think private equity. I love building things. I like curating great teams. I love to see other young people win and make a lot of money. There’s nothing that makes me happier than to see people on my team the first time they make a million dollars. It’s life changing. Coming from team sports, you just love to win with teammates. I don’t think it’s a lot of fun to win by yourself. What fun is it to get rich alone? That sucks. You want to share the pie a bit. What happens is when everyone tastes that champagne or how sweet the cake is, then everyone gets to the office at 6:30 in the morning instead of 7:30. And now you’re looking at the next deal, and the next deal. The power of alignment is everything.

What do you want people to know about you that they don’t already? I feel like they know a lot. One, that I’m a terrible cook and an even worse dancer. Other things they probably don’t know is that I enjoy business just as much as I enjoy sports … and I go at business just like the way I approach sports. You’re only as good as your team — you’re an average of the five people you surround yourself with every day.

The post A-Rod is coming for NYC and SoFla real estate appeared first on The Real Deal Miami.

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filtration-products · 6 years ago

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Damian Prosalendis – Telling The Truth?

I first encountered “Damian Prosalendis” when he was featured in “Bold and Determined” – a blog by Nick Kelly/”Victor Pride”.

Going under the guise of “Damian Pros”, he started posting results from a Fiverr business he set up, eventually claiming that he’d made $40k+ in a single month from the platform. This was followed by a post on “TheFastlaneForum”.

He also operated a website called “Dare and Conquer” which I perused at the time as well.

Now… the important thing to note here is that what I’m about to write is not some sort of vendetta against the guy, or anything like that. I respect what he’s done and continue to read his content.

However, it’s become painfully obvious that the majority of what he’s posting now is either rehashed nonsense or wholly incorrect. Further, there have been a number of instances where a number of his claims have been proven to be entirely false.

This is important, as it’s a direct indication of his character, and whether you should believe what he says or not.

It’s especially important considering the “anti university” stance he has taken to; continually telling people to avoid higher education, through his Twitter feed. This is extremely dangerous for the next generation, and what I wanted to address with this article.

“Millionaire”

The biggest gripe I have with him is that he’s labelling himself a “millionaire”, and latterly a “multi millionaire”.

I don’t know how much money he has, and it’s not really my business, but I’ll tell you now that if someone is a “millionaire”, they won’t typically spend all day on Twitter or try and convince everybody of the fact.

Real wealth speaks for itself. And real wealth typically leaves clues – business dealings, associates and other things.

Prosalendis has none of this, bar a Fiverr account which I’ll explain in a second.

The point is that the “millionaire” tagline – like most things I’ve observed from Prosalendis – is likely a ruse for something else; a spin on words designed to paint himself as prolific as possible.

Being a “millionaire” isn’t about having $1m+ in cash – it’s about having access to, or control over, $1m+ worth of assets.

Many people are millionaires on paper, but their capital is locked away in property or some other illiquid asset base.

Labelling yourself a “millionaire” is highly indicative of someone who either doesn’t understand what it means to be legitimately worth over $1m, or is trying to gain attention.

Fiverr

To explain who Prosalendis even is, he apparently set up a “Fiverr” business when he was in college and eventually made enough to quit and focus on it entirely himself.

Whilst commendable, someone later discovered the business (SPXMAC) and it appears that it’s a legitimate outfit.

The foundation of Prosalendis’ story is based around the idea that his “Fiverr business” was able to generate $1m+ in revenue within the first two years of its founding.

This is a great achievement by any standard, but should not get in the way of reality – “Fiverr” takes 20% of any money earned through its platform, as well as the various expenses the business would have incurred as a result of its growth.

In other words, whilst the $1m ideal sounds good, it’s not the net profit of the business.

The reason this is important is because it gives a perspective on the character behind the persona. You can’t fake a business’ profile, and whilst he tried to keep it all covered up, it’s pretty much the case that most people know about it now.

Fake

The reason I felt it pertinent to write this is to help anyone looking to research the guy.

There have been a number of instances where he outright lied to people in order to make them think he was more successful than he was:

Dubai Penthouse –

Around 2016/2017, he started claiming that he’d been living in a Dubai Penthouse.

His website was highly suggestive – “From a cockroach-infested dorm room to… a luxurious Dubai penthouse” – giving the impression that he’d indeed become so wealthy that he’d been able to buy a penthouse in one of the most glamorous cities in the world.

Whilst this would have been commendable, it was later discovered that all the pictures he’d taken were from a room in the Sofitel Dubai (hotel), which someone even identified as being just a normal room (not the “penthouse” as claimed by Prosalendis).

The reason this is important is because of the picture it painted before it was discovered. Anyone looking at his stuff could easily have been mislead into thinking he was a serious player – when in reality, he was just a tourist staying for a couple of weeks.

Personal Chef –

In 2017, his Twitter feed started to mention that he’d hired a chef + maid to “save his time”.

Like most things he espouses through Twitter, he was emphatic about how “his” chef provided him with meals etc. Like the Dubai Penthouse, the implication was that he’d actually gone out and hired a chef who came to his residence to prepare his meals for him. After all… that’s what a “personal chef” does, right? Well… not according to Prosalendis. His idea of a personal chef is one of those “delivered meal” services, where you pay a monthly or daily fee to have meals prepared + delivered to you.

The tell was when someone asked him about how many people his chef cooked for – to which his reply was that he “didn’t give a damn”… essentially suggesting the notion that he’d just signed up to one of these “meals on wheels” services.

Again, the blurred lines between fact & fiction are extremely thin here.

Instagram Followers –

In 2018, he opened a thread on the popular “FastlaneForum” – where devotees of the author MJ DeMarco like to hang out to discuss ideas etc.

Whilst the forum has a large blend of different individuals, there are many veterans on there who can see clearly through any false / highly inflated comments posted.

Prosalendis’ post – “1,000,000 Followers On Social Media: How I Am Doing It & How You Can Too” was initially welcomed by many on the forum.

However, due to a lack of actual content, several members began to question the veracity of what he was posting, eventually leading to a “showdown” about his Instagram account.

The question arose as to how he’d been getting Instagram followers, to which Prosalendis replied that he’d been featured by several large accounts.

Further inspection of what he’d been posting later highlighted that he’d been using “Comment Pods” – essentially where people comment on each other’s posts to get them onto the “Discover” section of Instagram (and hence more followers).

The problem with this was not about the method itself… but rather the dishonest nature that Prosalendis used as a response. Using vitriolic responses to try and berate the respondents, he tried to browbeat his point that he was “correct” and that he was being misunderstood.

Even the forum’s owner had to step in to try and gain assurance that he wasn’t trying to falsify his claims to anyone, to which Prosalendis responded that he hadn’t (a lie) and that he’d now be leaving the forum to focus on his business.

No one cared that he had left… but the whole episode highlighted the way in which he had tried to hoodwink his way to gaining reputation and influence… and – as highlighted by many on the forum at the time – an attempt to get more people into his “funnel” so he can sell them consulting or some other products later on.

Personal Branding –

“Featured on Forbes, INC, Entrepreneur Magazine, HuffPost” would be something to be proud of for anyone… but only if you’d earned it.

The problem with Prosalendis – like many things we’ve posted – is that the “interviews” posted on those sites seem highly questionable.

Indeed, there was even an allusion by a popular marketing magazine to “Brian Rashid” – an author on Forbes who’s known for posting some quite “interesting” content that you have to question the origin of.

Nonetheless, the idea stuck – and Prosalendis used his “interviews” as a way to position himself as a “successful entrepreneur”.

I have no problem with the method behind this (it used to be called PR) – but to do it dishonestly is a major issue.

If the interviews were paid, they’d be a dishonest proposition in my opinion.

“Model” –

Had to add this one too – his latter claims of being a “model” are actually comical.

Models are a special breed; you can tell who is, and who isn’t, one relatively quickly.

And whilst it used to be the case that you had to be signed to a modelling agency to even be considered one; the truth is that “real” models are paid to pose. Prosalendis pays someone to follow him around & take photographs.

The point of this is that whilst this isn’t uncommon in the “selfie” generation, it is a problem when you’re using it to try and make people think you’re better than what you actually are.

Millionaire –

Lastly, coming back to the “millionaire” claim.

Millionaire is a very loaded word – it means many things to many people.

In the modern world, I typically consider a “millionaire” as someone with a number of assets (perhaps property and/or a business) which is worth $500k/$650k and the rest either in cash or some other “liquid” form of capital.

The notion/idea is that if you liquidated your entire asset base today, you’d be left with $1m+ in the bank after tax etc.

Whilst Prosalendis may have this, I really don’t consider his claim of being a “millionaire” to either be valid or legitimate.

Again, this is mainly speculation – but judging from his past discretions and his Fiverr story – I’d surmise the following to be the case:

SPXMAC has made revenues of $1m+ through Fiverr since its inception in 2015

Of these revenues, money would have to have been paid in employee expenses + any further provisions the company may have used (IE is not take-home profit)

The SPXMAC business doesn’t really have a presence outside of Fiverr – further adding to questions of its veracity

Ultimately, I’d suggest that his allusion to his Fiverr $1m revenue is where the “millionaire” idea came from.

If that’s the case, he most certainly isn’t a “millionaire”… at least in my definition.

A good example of this is that I know a guy who has a business turning over ~£3m per year. Since he sells physical products that he doesn’t manufacture, his operating profit is £650k and net profit comes out at around £300k after everything has been paid for.

You may argue that this guy is a “millionaire”, but I’d suggest otherwise. He still goes to work every day and is continually trying to build the business up (as if his competitors would take him out).

He may label himself as a “millionaire”, but I don’t think so. There are too many variables working against him.

Pattern?

All of this basically highlights a pattern of behaviour.

He likes to over-inflate even the smallest achievement, even to the degree of being dishonest about what actually happened.

I adore success and honor those who become truly successful… but you have to put things into perspective.

Truly successful people don’t sit back on other people’s inventions / ideas, they create their own.

They don’t do everything necessary to persuade others of how much they’ve achieved; they continue doing what made them successful in the first place.

Of all the people I’ve seen / met who have been worth significant amounts of money – the one thing they had in common is they basically did what “they” wanted to do… and kept doing it (even when they became wealthy).

Whilst they may allude to their wealth, it really doesn’t bother them how much money they have. They use money as a tool, and continued to develop as much value as possible – typically because they cared about what they were doing.

In terms of Prosalendis, I get a very superficial feel from him.

I also get a sense of someone out of their depth; rather like a young Justin Bieber trying to cope with the Paparazzi.

I would not trust most of what he puts out on social media.

If you are interested in anything he’s selling, you will need to get verification of his results if you really want a perspective on what he’s going to deliver.

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reomanet · 6 years ago

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Apple will no longer report iPhone numbers after sales went to 0%, and analysts are worried the era of iPhone growth is over (AAPL)

Apple says it will no longer report iPhone sales numbers. The move can only be interpreted negatively. “Some people may fear that this now means that the iPhone units are going to start going negative year over year because it’s easier to talk about great things and not show the details of things that aren’t so great,” the Citi analyst Jim Suva said. Global data shows smartphone sales declining, and CEO Tim Cook has previously said he is comfortable with that. Apple announced Thursday night that it would no longer be reporting iPhone sales numbers — or sales numbers for any of its products — on future earnings calls. Investors hated it: AAPL stock tanked 7% on the news in after-hours trading and was still down 5% in premarket trading before the New York exchanges opened Friday. The disclosure can only be interpreted negatively. The Citi analyst Jim Suva summed it up perfectly on the earnings call Thursday night. He told CEO Tim Cook and CFO Luca Maestri: “Some people may fear that this now means that the iPhone units are going to start going negative year-over-year because it’s easier to talk about great things and not show the details of things that aren’t so great.” In a later note to clients, Suva said that the move “left investors speechless” and that “some investors will view this as a negative that the company is trying to hide information that in the past was so important to assess the company’s strength.” Friday morning, Walt Piecyk, the respected tech analyst at BTIG Research, agreed. He told the Financial Times , “It’s certainly not a good look for Apple in the eyes of consumers when analysts are quoting ASPs,” the average sales prices, “that are rising by double digits.” “By not reporting units,” he added, “it effectively removes the discussion of rising prices from mainstream media stories.” Read more: Tim Cook admitted Tuesday night that smartphone sales might shrink and, significantly, that he’s OK with it If Apple is worried the iPhone is entering a decline, then not reporting its sales numbers helps it avoid that negative PR. On Friday, many analysts openly worried in notes to clients that the move was an indicator that iPhone growth was over and that negative unit sales growth lay ahead. There is almost no other way to interpret the move On the call, Cook and Maestri tried to explain that they believed unit sales had become less important than total dollar revenue. There is some logic to this. In recent years, especially since the iPhone X was introduced, Apple has increased its revenue largely by raising the price of the iPhone, not by selling more phones. Actual sales have barely moved. This set of numbers from Thursday night’s earnings tells the tale: dollars going up but actual products flat or in decline: Apple said Thursday night that it would no longer be reporting these numbers. Apple Cook and Maestri tried to convince analysts that Apple’s other lines of business were increasingly important. Sales of “Services” — the App Store and other paid software downloads — increased by 17%, for instance. And, Cook said, the “installed base” of existing iPhones had become so big that it was more important for sales than the much smaller number of new units they sell every 90 days. The installed base is what is driving Services sales. People own an iPhone for years, and they continually pay to download music and apps. That is Apple’s growth business now. “Our installed base is growing at double digits,” Cook said. “And that’s probably a much more significant metric for us from an ecosystem point of view and the customer loyalty, etc.” Notably, Cook did not promise to replace the unit-sales stat with a new stat on the size of the total installed base. So, that’s Apple’s case. Cook has all but acknowledged the iPhone is in decline But here is the grim reality Cook did not talk about: The iPhone is most likely entering a decline. We know this because Cook came close to saying it on his previous earnings call , when he said of the smartphone market: “It’s an enormous sized market and whether it grows, from our point of view, whether it grows 1% or 2% or 5% or 6% or 10% or shrinks 1% or 2%, it’s a great market because it’s just huge. And so that’s kind of the way that I view that.” More objectively, smartphone sales data has been signalling the decline of the iPhone for years. The global context is that the iPhone rarely gets better sales than the smartphone market as a whole, and the smartphone market as whole is slowing down — implying that the iPhone will too. iPhone sales growth generally underperforms the market as a whole. Deutsche Bank / IDC Analysts hate it Analysts will hate this. Like it or not, the iPhone accounts for 59% of Apple’s revenue. Apple is the iPhone company, by definition. So when the company moves to conceal how the iPhone is doing, that’s bad. On Friday morning, the Wedbush analysts Daniel Ives and Strecker Backe called the pullback a “jaw dropper” and “frustrating.” “The Street will find this a tough pill to swallow this morning as the transparency of the Cupertino story takes a major dent,” they said, adding, “The skeptics will point to Apple doing this right at the critical juncture where higher ASPs are making up for slower unit sales.” Similarly, Nomura’s Jeffrey Kvaal and his team stuck the knife in. “We do not find Apple’s rationale for the reduced disclosure well considered,” they said. “We disagree with Apple’s view that a unit of sale is less relevant; on the contrary, we consider it an indicator of the health and growth of the ecosystem.” They added: “Consumers are not choosing a range of different iPhones at different price points like items in a shopping cart. Consumers are choosing only one iPhone; we care how much they pay.” Guggenheim’s Robert Cihra and Amil Patel said, “We think investors will dislike it as it could foreshadow trying to hide unit declines.” And Ben Schachter of Macquarie added, “Long time AAPL watchers will clearly be disappointed by this and the assumption is that units are very likely to turn negative for the near-mid-term and that is why AAPL is making the disclosure change.” Although Apple is getting increased revenue from iPhone, its unit sales are flat. Statista Some analysts have already hinted they no longer trust Apple Some analysts have signaled in the past that they no longer trust Apple’s numbers. In 2016, Ben Thompson of Stratechery and the Pacific Crest analysts Andy Hargreaves and Evan Wingren all said they thought Apple’s description of some iPhone sales metrics were misleading . And in 2014, Barclays’ Ben Reitzes had the temerity to ask Cook, ” Are you still a growth company ?” — implying that Apple had lost the ability to increase the market for iPhone. Now we may have an answer to that question. The iPhone has reached a peak, and Apple wants to leave it at that. This chart shows that the iPhone is the majority of Apple’s revenue. BI Intelligence