jabberwalky-talky

[jabberwalky-talky]

You wanna hear some really gross thoughts?

Ok, so you wanna talk filthy? How about some of this?

Joseph, is an absolute slob. Lazy, dirty, obnoxious and utterly lacking in manners. Sure, he was from a pretty high class family, but he never really took to all that fancy stuff, and would actively rebel against it whenever possible.

He’s a spoiled little rich boy who never really had to do anything for himself, hence why he turned out so lazy. He has the table manners of his grandfather, which we see with his face covered in spaghetti ink, and you better believe he licks the plates an smears his face with sauce and saliva. And don’t expect him to stifle his burps either, he will do so loudly and deeply, and probably drool as he’s doing it. He’ll make a mess, slurp at his fingers, fart while he’s eating, and not care about company.

And speaking of not stifling burps, that includes while being intimate. Caesar’s snuggling up to him and nuzzling noses? Burp right in the face. Cuddling Suzi while falling asleep? She’s suddenly woken by a deafening belch. He’s sucking a big ol’ dick or eating out? Burps. French kissing? Now you’re tasting his burps.

And remember how his future self refers to him? “Sweaty little brat.” Joseph is a BIG dude (and probably pretty hairy too), so he sweats a lot. You like musk? Joseph’s your dude. He has that powerful, masculine, “post-workout” smell about him, constantly. He doesn’t bathe often (because the time and effort is too much) so the musk just sticks to him, and his clothes… And the underwear which he only changes once a week (which probably has all sorts of ungodly stains).

As for sleeping with him, that’s the dream, right? Maybe not if you decide to share the bed for the night. That sweaty little brat is gonna drench your sheets and get you all sticky. He’s gonna roll around and take up all the room in the bed, snoring, sweating, drooling and farting all night while you try and spoon him.

Suzi, finds all this endearing. She actually likes all his flaws because she rather likes babying him. Caesar appears disgusted, because he has a prim and proper image to uphold, but is rather secretly enticed by the whole thing as a show of strong masculinity.

Though the bottom like is that they kinda have to get used to it, because no amount of trying is going to tame the beast that is Joseph.

[jabberwalky-talky]

Spew: Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli/Joseph Joestar

(18+)(Emetophilia)(Whump Joseph)(nonconsensual frottage)(sickfic)

Air Supplena is typically so nice in the Spring.

Joseph looks like he’s on the verge of losing his lunch.

Caesar’s not as clean as he thinks he is.

What Lisa Lisa doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Keep reading

[jabberwalky-talky]

REQUESTS: OPEN

Anything goes, guys. I have no hard limits on any fetish/kink. I only write for jojo, and I am familiar with all characters from all parts (1-8). Feel free to drop something in my inbox :) Currently only accepting nsfw requests/fetish requests for headcanons/small drabbles. 

[jabberwalky-talky]

stepdad kira....flashing cawk...while he pissin wif da door open....I just like the idea of him being a lil startled and tryna make it out like you did it on purpose...

cw: (Pseudo Incest, Urine, Implied Underage)

This man is a deranged variety of exhibitionist. Like a parasite, he's wormed his way into your life and latched on in every respectable fashion, leeching and sucking dry the once privileged status of your privacy. Initially, you hadn't had high hopes for a new man coming into the family.

Kira had smashed those expectations into the ground, grinded his shoe into them, and spat on what brittle remnants remained.

He'd come into your life and turned it upside down without a shred of remorse, all the while winning the adoration and praises of your mother, who couldn't see past his painfully boring and unsettlingly pristine exterior. A curfew was enforced, your grades were checked ad nauseam, and a disturbingly pleasant tradition of a family dinner each night came to be.

Making six figures and driving a posh work car and versed in literature, Yoshikage Kira had a hard time drawing suspicion to him from anyone save for his stepchild. Chalk it up to bitter teen angst and a lack of trust or a case of jealousy, either way it was blaringly obvious he was hiding something to you.

Your mother, didn't think so, unfortunately. Perhaps only you were privy to the strange glint in his eye whenever he'd leer under his lashes after asking you what you thought of the latest recipe he's made for dinner. You come to find it takes a ridiculous amount of self restraint not to storm off from whatever the Hell this is - His mere presence has you shuddering under a Truman show uncanniness, as if every work out of his mouth is overly measured.

Perhaps you get to a breaking point after an overly gently reprimanding for some minor disobedience. You're under the impression your boundaries have been impeded upon by the intruder in your own home. Insomnia plagues once comfortable nights, your mind always awaiting his nightly check in to ensure you've really turned your lights off this time. If you hear the low lull of his voice one more time, you think you will tear the hair right off your scalp.

Catching dirt on this man is no easy task given how his rigid schedule involves a lot of downtime when off work consisting of meditation and stretching and surprisingly rigorous exercise. He's constantly hyperaware of his surroundings, no doubt catlike in his mannerisms, and he's got the unnerving ability to walk near silently. He hadn't thought you'd be the type to ditch school early, unaware of just how deep this little grudge of yours ran. You hadn't even unlocked the door- you'd crawled through the window, armed with the flip phone you'd bought from the mall without his knowledge. The house was in pristine condition as always, crisp and spotless ever since Kira had anything to say about it. Down the hall, the master bedroom door is open, and you can hear the too quiet shuffling of his clothes. You presume he’s getting ready to shower after his afternoon work out and had no good reason to shut the door if he was under the impression he was home alone.  You’re creeping as silently as you possibly can... maybe you’ll catch a smear of lipstick on his shirt collar, you’ll find a cigarette in his pocket- anything to imply that this man is anything less than robotically sterile. Though your heart is racing and pounding nigh in your throat, you’re suddenly hit by the sound of a gentle streaming- liquid hitting stagnant liquid. The finger over the record button falters- you can’t press it, you can’t force yourself to, not when you’re wide eyed watching your step father relive himself with his disturbingly impressive prick. 

Maybe that’s why mom likes him.  He sighs, lashes fluttering as he pisses, the steady flow a healthy pale yellow with a single hand to guide its direction. It shouldn’t be such a mesmerizing sight, his boxers pulled down, shirt just the slightest bit damp and his bangs clinging to his forehead, looking so utterly blissed out.  The second he’s done wiping himself and tucking his cock away, your eyes meet and the color drains from both of your faces. Seemingly, time slows, and you didn’t have a split second to even wipe your watering jaws, only dropping the phone and going to make a break for it when you’re snatched up by the wrist, his palm still warm.  He’s about to shove an accusatory finger in your face, pupils small, only to be interrupted-

“You didn’t wash your hands.”

[jabberwalky-talky]

Something Is Not Right

General Fetish things for DIO:  (CW: Emeto, Eructo, Eprocto, Light Feederism, Stomach Stuff, Predator/Prey Dynamics)

Dio is cruel in just about every facet of his person. He lives to one up those under him and he has a particularly uncouth tendency to single out one individual rather than a number of unfortunate servants when he’s in a poor mood or under the weather. His servants around the mansion are privy to this, and it’s not uncommon for those with a weak sense of loyalty to end up as his next meal. To preface, vampire biology is weird, first of all, and despite spending over a century as a vampire, Dio retains his old hunger for mortal delights- food and sex over all other pleasures. The downside to this is that his body is no longer technically living- Most of his organs lie “dormant”, and are only used to regulate bodily functions occasionally, which means when he does decide to put them to use, often times the end result is less than... pleasant. 

It typically garners a pretty disgusting reaction out of him. 

He’s damn well aware that human foods (his favorites being expensive red meats and dripping, fatty, decadent meals paired with a six thousand dollar bottles of wine) do not agree with him at all. Maybe he’s too stubborn, and maybe he does it out of spite, but that hedonistic side of him adores gorging himself to the point of being violently sick. (See bouts of blood stenched gas. It’s... wretched.)

It gives him a thrill like no other, feeling his gut roil and squirm and lurch at the rich diet he forces down his gullet. It reminds him of his days as a human- possibly a side effect of his demented childhood, he has formed this unhealthy relationship with food and drink, given how food aggressive he gets. Before coming to the Joestar estate, Dio had to work for his meals and even then, they weren’t good meals at that. Power over people is nice, but power over sustenance is a whole other form of high to him.

Therein lies another issue tying back to his general sadism- How he takes it out on those around him. He’s gathered an extensive group of people that’d bend over backwards for him and he likes to play a sort of “game” to test which unlucky (or lucky, depending on your perspective) individual’s sense of loyalty to him. The first set of “trials” if you can even call them that involve you hand feeding him, his razor sharp fangs snapping at your fingers if you get them too close. He will bite if you are not careful, and he will take your fingers clean off. Seeing the fear in your eyes and the sense of impending dread of what’s to come gets him fucking randy as sin. 

Several bites in and he’s having you wipe the drool from his lips, your fingers shaking as you delicately dab at his handsome face... He expects you to treat this as a “privilege” and to savor every last moment you’re touching him. This also extends to when he has you pluck tendon fibers from his teeth and run your fingers over his tongue, hot, vile breath panting in your face the entire time. It’s wet and heavy smelling, and it leaves the flesh on your cheeks feeling sticky.  

Don’t be surprised if you’re sudden getting a belch to the face right as you’re cleaning away at his gums- the man is as shameless as they come knowing you’re choking back a gag at the meaty, distinctly aged aroma. He’ll chide you a bit if you pause, asking what’s the matter? Did something bother you just now? It’s better not to humor him honestly. It’d just prompt him into forcing you into a kiss followed by a prompt regurgitation of his previous meal into your mouth... He’ll tell you that you might enjoy it a little more if you got familiar with his diet. His acute control over his internal system allows for a very unfortunate position to whoever is stuck with him for the night. He revels in your tears, in the thinly veiled wretches you can’t even hold back whilst tasting his partially digested and disgustingly noticeably room temperature food.  However, if you do play it safe, you’re going to be stuck massaging his stomach for hours at a time in that massive bed of his, sinking your fingers into his doughy bloat and forced to endure just about everything coming out of him. Due to the slowed metabolism, Dio’s going to have one hell of a case of bubbleguts going both ways. Pray he doesn’t make you suck him off during or after that belly rub, because he has not a single shred of decency to hold back for the sake of what is essentially less than a pet to him. 

[jabberwalky-talky]

do you have any gas or nausea headcanons for caesar?

I have gas AND nausea headcanons for Caesar! ♥

Caesar Zeppeli ⭒

Gas Headcanons

⭒ I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the “he burps bubbles” trope a million times already. Well, get ready for this - he farts them, too. In all seriousness, though; it’s something that Caesar gets very embarrassed about. He tries everything in his power to suppress his belches and farts in front of other people because he just can’t handle the wetness of them. His belches always bring up liquid. His farts always end up leaving wet stains on his underwear. It*s humiliating.

⭒ Now that we’re already talking bubbles; he gets the bubble guts fairly often. Whether it’s the excessive pasta consumption, stress or just bad genes, no idea. But it happens at least once a day that his attempt to flirt goes terribly wrong when his belly starts to gurgle up a storm. Sadly, many women are squicked out by the strange popping and bubbling sounds from his intestines. 

⭒ Caesar hardly ever gets visibly bloated, with his belly sticking out and everything. The only way to notice his bloat, the gurgling and churning aside, would be to actually touch his belly (which would most likely result in him wanting to bite your hands off tbh). His abs are already pretty hard, but his gassy belly feels like a rock underneath your fingers.

Nausea Headcanons

⭒ It’s nothing unusual to hear his belly complain about air and liquid that’s stuck inside. When Caesar’s belly becomes unusually quiet, it’s time to actually worry about his wellbeing, because that means his insides are busy desperately trying to keep down whatever is inside them. When Caesar’s feeling nauseous, his stomach cramps up so intensely it barely makes any noise at all anymore; and it’s incredibly painful.

⭒ Not only his belly gets unusually quiet. Caesar himself doesn’t talk as much anymore. It’s especially noticeable that he doesn’t approach women as openly as he normally does and seemingly holds back with his flirting. That’s because he fears he could throw up when he opens his mouth. 

⭒ The best way to soothe his stomach for him is to have some warm tea or soup and avoid overeating for a few days. Resting would also be important, but sadly he can rarely bring himself to actually stay in bed for longer than necessary - unless he’s spending his time with a lovely lady.

[jabberwalky-talky]

Thinking about Character A having Character B laying down underneath their ass. B is gagged and their mouth is covered in duct tape. A is bare assed, with their hole right on B’s nose, groaning and teasing as they rub their stomach and try to coax the gas through them.

A suddenly rips a potent, quick fart that blasts directly into B’s nostrils. B just has to take it, moaning and whining behind the duct tape as they are forced to breathe solely through their nose that has now been stained with the stench of A’s gas.

[jabberwalky-talky]

Another thing about the training mask that is perhaps a bit less sadistic is a gassy Joseph constantly burping into the thing.

He’s a sucker for Cola and makes sure to guzzle down a bottle or two before his trainers put the mask back on after he’s done eating, but that doesn’t go over too well. It thankfully masks the loud sound of his belches somewhat, but he’s stuck with the stale scent inside of the mask the rest of the day. Caesar has gagged a few times while removing it for Jojo after a long day of training and multiple cans of soda. Though it may sound gross, something tells me this slob doesn’t mind his own stench at this point...

[jabberwalky-talky]

we should refer to farts as “blowing kisses” more often, all degenerates in favor say “aye”

[jabberwalky-talky]

You don't have to answer this one, but uh...Do you have any Joseph gas headcanons in this trying times? (I really love your blog btw! Keep up the good work!)

Thank you so much~ I'm glad to hear you love my blog! Hopefully these will suffice~

Joseph Joestar ⭒

Gas Headcanons

⭒ Joseph is someone who always wolfs down his food, barely taking his time to chew at all. If you put a plate with pasta in front of him, he will devour it in three minutes if you let him. Naturally, that means he also swallows a lot of air, and his stomach has to work overtime to digest its food. For the next hour after Joseph has had lunch or dinner, you'll have to deal with him belching up a storm. Unapologetically. Hey, better out than in! You don't want him to get a tummy ache, do you? Hopefully you're not grossed out by his gas, because he loves burping into people's faces. Well... when Erina isn't around.

⭒ There are barely ever moments when Joseph genuinely forces himself to hold back his gas. It has to be someone's funeral, honestly. Even then he would probably lose control over his stomach occasionally - or over his bowels... The air that doesn't get past his lips keeps moving further down, bloating up his belly visibly... Bowels full of air are a different kind of discomfort for him. Poor Joseph can't handle gas pain very well at all. He'd rather leave the room to burp if he absolutely can't hold it, than deal with gassy bowels.

⭒ Joseph gets surprisingly quiet when he's dealing with gas pain. It's unusual to see him with such a stern expression. Almost as if he were in his own world, or focusing really hard on something else... Honestly, his mind is blank, all he can think of and hear right now are his bubbling intestines, shifting around the air he swallowed before. Why couldn't he just chew a few more times?! Now he's paying the price. His midsection is swollen and noisy, and he needs to fart so fucking bad. Farts are worse than burps. Social taboos. According to Erina at least... while she's around, he absolutely can't. So he's silent. Focusing really hard on holding it in.

⭒ Once he's finally alone, or with someone who doesn't mind his gassy outbursts, Joseph shamelessly rips ass, over and over again, and making sure to moan loudly as he does to emphasize just how relieving it is. The more it stinks, the funnier it is. Joseph is incredibly gross when it comes to his gas and he embraces it - teasing people is so much fun. Hell, he only pulls himself together out of respect for his granny! When she isn't there, you gotta deal with gas hell. He'll practically push his ass right into your face and ask if you got a good whiff. Another of his favorite things to do is to fart on your belongings and "claim" them. Fun.

⭒ If you've known Joseph for longer than a week, then you've probably heard all kinds of gas variations there are in the world already. Burping "I love you"s, the ABCs, the long, drawn out belches, the short, rapid ones... and the never ending story of his farts. For the love of God, keep a window open if you don't want to suffocate. Because Joseph will suffocate you if you let him.