#ive got to ruminate on this

[protagonist-art]

i may have problems and issues 🥳

[wolfsbanesparks]

I'm loving this!

I haven't had much time to flesh out this thought so this might be me just rambling but I'm thinking what if Kit and Freddy are mixed? Like their dad is Jewish American and their mom is Chinese. I'm thinking that their dad was a sailor who manned large cargo ships as they sailed to and from China where he met their mom who immigrated to the States after they got married.

And since canonically after their parents' deaths Freddy and Kit are separated, Freddy lived with their paternal grandfather and Kit went to their maternal grandfather and thus they were immersed in the different sides of their family. Kit would learn about their Chinese heritage and culture which is why he becomes connected to that afterlife in a way that Freddy isn't. Maybe he even died on his way to or from their family home in China.

And I love the idea that Xanthe and Kit see a little bit of their siblings in each other. There is angst potential there for sure as well as the chance form them to comfort each other.

But yeah Kit's summoning often gives Xanthe a headache, but sometimes they find it amusing because the spirits' complaints give them chaotic updates on Kit's adventures. (This also gives a great opportunity to have Kit summon figures from Chinese history to help him in his battles)

My brain is buzzing with the possibilities of this one!

What's a team up of heroes that you never see, but would be interested in seeing?

Such a good question!

Obviously this is based largely on the characters I know/want to see more of, but here it goes.

I would love to see a team up between Duke Thomas (the Signal) and Victor Stone (Cyborg). I think they could make a great team and that Victor would treat Duke as an equal. They would be so OP together but I think it would be awesome.

Another team up I would like to see is Billy Batson and Cassie Sandsmark. With their connections to Zeus, archeological parent(s) and superhero shenanigans, I think they would be fun together and could deal with mythological opponents.

And I just came up with this team up while answering another ask, but Xanthe Zhou (the Envoy) and Kit Freeman (Kid Eternity) would be a fun team up since their powers both come from dealing with spirits/the spirit realm. I can imagine a story where they meet when Kit was first killed/brought back.

I'd love to see any other unusual team ups people would like to see!

[lokh]

oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios

[guilty-pleasure-writings]

Movie Night - The Triplets

F/M/M/M (all cis) reader insert smut-fic featuring @eldritch-spouse's demon OCs, Ludwig, Obie, and Mervin. Ya'll can read this even if you're not familiar with the characters. It's very NSFW, 4000 words. Divider by firefly-graphics.

Hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort. Smut and a tiny bit of fluff. The sex is consensual, but there are dubcon elements (one kink is not discussed before hand or agreed upon). These characters are yanderes in their natural environment, but this piece is entirely mild on that front.

So without futher ado:

(reader who is typically self-assured and mildly controlling, and for unspecified reasons is currently living in perdition) 

When you open the door to Katia’s, Ludwig is the first person you see. He straightens at your appearance, both intrigue and concern duelling for control of his features. The concern wins out when you don’t smile. No boasting or joviality at your bruises, and the smear of blood. No comment on the obvious scrap you’d gotten yourself into. When you step into the circle of his arms, silent, and lean in for a hug, he’s entirely shocked. Your mood must really be down if you’re looking for comfort.  

“You okay?” 

You don’t want to talk about it, closing your eyes and pressing your face against his shoulder instead. The bruises would heal. The scrapes would fade. You were depressed more than anything. It’s an effort for you to shrug. To reply. “Long day.” 

Hesitant, he pats you on the back. You don’t typically go to the triplets for comfort, and you’re not sure they know how to give it, but it soothes you regardless. 

“Why don’t you wash up? There’s a first aid kit in the bathroom.” 

You grunt your acknowledgement and leave him, flustered and covered in blood. You take your time in the shower, letting the hot water loosen your muscles. It stings as it runs over your open cuts. The defensive wounds on your forearms burn. It’s a welcome burn. One you have control over.  

Ludwig paces in the lounge. Tries to will his arousal away. Seeing you covered in blood is definitely stirring, but your sombre mood put a dampener on things. He wonders how much the mask is slipping if you can’t even pretend to be okay right now.  

Hastily he texts his brother. ‘U can stop looking. She’s home.’ 

‘Condition?’ 

Ludwig frowns. ‘Seems kinda bummed.’ 

‘Idiot. I mean is she still possessed?’ 

‘Don’t think so. She walked in herself.’ 

He stows his phone when you return, dressed in sweatpants and a loose top. You’re covered in a patchwork of bandaids and bandages, and Lud distantly wonders if he should have helped apply them. Probably. 

You sprawl on the couch where you’ve been crashing with a sigh, and Ludwig blanks on what to do. You’re not usually this despondent. 

“Can I sit with you?” 

He gets a thumbs up. 

He takes a tentative seat, surprised when you roll over and snuggle up to him.  

You lose track of time, snapping to attention when Katia wanders in and starts fussing. “You look terrible, love. Are you okay?” 

You shrug away the memory of being piloted like a meatsuit. “Nothing that won’t heal. I’ll live.” 

The demon frowns, your depression and energy as obvious to her as the blood and cuts are to her son. “Tsk. Get some rest, love. I’ll tell Obie you’re home. He’ll cook you up something nice, I’m sure.” 

You watch her leave, eyes catching on the purple figure in the doorway. Mervin had arrived.  

You manage to dredge up a little smile. Pat the couch beside you in invitation. 

He seems surprised to be invited, but joins you. He’s even more taken aback when you wriggle over, putting your head into his lap, and resting your feet in Ludwig’s. You wouldn’t admit it aloud, but you’re feeling more than a little touch starved. 

“Did you want to watch a movie?” Ludwig supplies helpfully. 

You shrug, eyelids drooping closed. “Sure. Something light-hearted maybe.” 

For once the pair don’t bicker over the remote, and soon some cartoonish plot is playing out on the screen nearby. Ludwig starts to rub your feet, and you let out a content sigh, nearly groaning at the contact. Hesitantly, Mervin’s fingers tangle in your hair. You lean into the touch, letting out another little noise, and soon he’s rubbing your scalp and combing out your trusses. 

You close your eyes, just listening to the movie, when there’s a touch at your shoulder. Obie is crouching in front of the couch. “Did you eat today?” 

Your stomach rumbles at the mention of food. “Don’t think so.” 

The yellow demon frowns. “Let me get you something?” 

With all you’ve seen today, you’re not confident in your appetite, but you shrug. Obie’s cooking is always a treat. “M’kay.”  

You’re wedged between Mervin and Ludwig when he returns with a tray absolutely laden with hot food. You look at the array with raised brows. 

“Obie...” 

He winces at your tone. 

“Sugar... honey... muffin... sweetcakes...” 

“For fuck's sake,” Mervin groans. “He gets it.” 

Obie is still concerned, but his cheeks are reddening with the nicknames.  

“You’re going to have to get another spoon. I can’t eat all this alone.” 

The demon brightens at your solution before racing off. When he’s back you both rip into the meal, with Obie glancing at you between bites, trying to gauge your reaction.  

You’re tired, but not so tired that you can’t yearn for the normalcy of a sweet moment. With that in mind you sample one of the dishes, and offer him your spoon. “Try this. It’s good.” 

His whole countenance brightens, and he leans forward to take your offering, tongue slipping out to clean the whole length of the fork, brushing your fingertips teasingly. 

You roll your eyes at him, conjuring a tired smile. When the food is gone (Obie ate most of it), you relax back onto the couch. The gluttony demon sits on the floor by your feet, the four of you bathing in silence, decompressing after a long day.  

You reach out and stroke the skin between his horns. “Thanks Ob.” 

“Can I get you anything else, Peach?” 

You close your eyes and hum. “Maybe some chocolate.” 

He’s back before you can open your eyes, a whole block of your favourite brand in hand. You smile appreciatively, but instead of reaching out to take the treat, you open your mouth and lean forward. “Aah.” 

Obie’s face darkens with blush. “You want me to..?” 

You nod, impatient. It’s fun messing with him like this. He’s cute when he’s flustered. 

His fingers shake when he breaks off a piece and feeds it to you. 

Mervin snorts. “Pfft. Loser.” 

You pinch him and let Obie finish feeding you. When half a block of chocolate is gone, you withdraw, sprawling out over Merv and Lud again, letting them ply you with soft touches and affection. 

“Thank you,” you make sure to meet Obie’s eyes, drawing out the words. 

He flushes before turning around to lean against the couch, drawing his knees up to hide what can only be a growing erection. 

You nearly drift off, to be honest, spreading your legs a little, and angling your hips up when Ludwig massages higher, making his way up your calves and rubbing at your thighs. The tension finally leaves your body, and you stare up at Mervin with a sleepy smile.  

He blinks at your expression, probably unused to such displays of softness.  

Ludwig is massaging your inner thighs when arousal stirs within you. You squirm, face warming at his persistent touches. You don’t know if he’s doing it intentionally, if he has the patience – he's certainly taking his time, working his way back down your legs. You nearly frown as his hands move in the direction opposite to what you want. 

Mervin is still watching you, his cheeks sporting a hint of blue – you realise you hadn’t seen him blush before. It’s cute.  

Spontaneously you make a ‘come hither’ motion with your finger, grinning up at him. 

Brows raised, he leans down, “What?” 

You link your arms around his neck and lean up to kiss him.  

He goes still. The hands on your legs also freeze. If your eyes were open, you’d roll them. Instead, you slip your tongue into Mervin’s mouth, pulling him closer. 

Finally, past the surprise, he kisses back, one arm supporting below your waist, the other working its way back into your hair. Hands resume movement on your legs, rubbing along your thighs. Lud’s claws are starting to dig into your flesh, and you know he’d rip your pants off if you let him. But you’ve no intention of rushing this. 

Then Mervin grips your hair, making a fist near your scalp, angling your head back so he can suck at your throat. You hum appreciatively, going loose and pliant under his lips.  

Obie whips his head around at the noise, finally noticing the commotion behind him. Nobody is watching the movie anymore.  

Ludwig huffs, losing patience and pulling you upright, onto his lap. Mervin rumbles with displeasure, but only for a moment. Your back is pressed against Ludwig’s chest, and he takes over for Mervin, kissing your neck, sucking a line of bites and hickeys along your shoulder. Your legs are spread and pinned open with his own. 

He’s rougher than his brother, and you tremble and whimper each time he bites too hard or grips you too tightly. Still, you’re exactly where you want to be, and you wouldn’t dream of pulling away. 

You blink and Obie is sitting between your knees, hands going to your waistband. It’s not hard to guess what he’s planning.  

“Tsk,” you warn him.  

He pauses, and if his eyes could open any further you know he’d be giving you a puppy dog stare. 

“We have all night.” 

He pouts. 

You hope he backs down. You’d really like to take this slow, and you’re not in the mood to have a standoff. But all is forgotten when Lud pulls your shirt up.  

Obie’s attention immediately switches to your breasts; full and unclothed. You hadn’t put on a bra after your shower, and you can’t help but blush at the attention.  

You tremble and arch when he moves to mouth at those, drenching them with drool. You hadn’t realised that with his long tongue, he’d manage to lick both at once, but it’s certainly a pleasant surprise. You whimper with anticipation at the threat of his teeth, their needle points grazing your flesh.  

There’s another hand on your leg. Warmth at your side. Mervin has sidled up and is watching the exchange intently, his hand creeping up your thigh, to the top of your pants. This time you don’t stop them, instead spreading your legs further.  

Ludwig huffs against your ear. “Needy.” 

You ignore him, bucking your hips with desire. You don’t remember the last time you were caged in like this, and it leaves you feeling high with excitement.  

Mervin’s fingers dip past your waistband, into your underwear. He traces your folds, finding your growing wetness before smearing it over your clit. 

You jolt with the contact, letting out another whine.  

“Be still,” Ludwig orders before latching back onto your neck. 

You try. But between the teeth at your shoulder, the attention to your breasts, and the gentle but precise touches at your core, it doesn’t take long before you’re seizing and jerking as you come. Juices flood your underwear, and you shake with aftershocks. 

Mervin pulls back his hand, sucking his fingers dry. At the motion Obie pauses to growl. “I wanted to taste her first.” 

You’re too relaxed to resist. In fact, you sympathise with Obie enough that you grab one of his misshapen horns and guide him towards your crotch. 

Ludwig chuckles behind you. “You’re forgetting something, babe.” 

You frown and whine. 

“Strip.” 

Ah. That would help.  

You wriggle until you can get your pants around your ankles, not helped in the slightest by the wrath demon holding you open. He does release you long enough for you to remove your shirt, though. When you’re done, you hesitate, some clarity coming back to you. Mostly naked on a couch surrounded by demons, it’s the most vulnerable you’ve let yourself feel in a long while.  

Obie doesn’t wait any longer, pressing his face between your thighs. There’s a single, exploratory lick as he tastes you, slurping up the evidence of your previous orgasm. He groans, enthralled by the taste. Then his tongue is filling you, and you jerk at the sudden intrusion.  

Ludwig holds you tight, burying his teeth in your shoulder and drawing blood. He reaches around to cup your breasts, claws digging into your skin.  

You don’t have room to focus on the pain, instead occupied by the glutton’s tongue, and how thoroughly it fills you. You’d suspected its capabilities, but if you’d known it’d feel like this, you’d have jumped Obie sooner.  

He writhes inside you, poking and prodding in places that are almost uncomfortable, before backing off to caress and stroke other parts of you. It’s- barely describable. Definitely a welcome sensation. Pressure builds inside of you – no, he’s not squeezing more of his tongue inside (yet) - he’s rubbing against your g spot. The pressure is another orgasm building.  

You’re not sure if you’re able to come again so quickly, but the choice is taken away from you by force when Obie grips you by the thighs and stuffs himself deeper.  

“Ffffuck,” you groan through your high, arching against Ludwig and coming again.  

Obie doesn’t stop. Ludwig doesn’t stop. Mervin grips you by the hair and pulls your face to his, devouring you in another steaming kiss. You can barely focus on it, your mind emptying as your orgasm is prolonged and drawn out until you’re a shaking mess (did you just come from penetration alone?). 

You don’t know how much time passes before the glutton comes up for air. He licks his lips with a flourish, looking satisfied. You’re flushed, staring at him through bleary eyes.  

He barely notices, instead ducking back down for seconds. 

Ludwig growls. “It’s my turn.” 

Obie pauses, leveling that almost puppy dog stare at his brother. “But she’s so tasty.” 

“Don’t care. You had a go.” 

You’re suddenly aware of the hardness pinned against your back. The length of it is mouth-watering. And you’re more than a little fuckdrunk right now. Enough that you don’t think before you speak. “Both.” 

There’s a silence as the triplets stare at you, brows raised.  

You writhe against Ludwig’s grip. “Please. Now. Both.” 

Mervin grins. “You heard the lady. She’s enough of a slut – I'm sure you’ll both fit.” 

You whimper at the comment, grinding back against Ludwig. You might not be able to come again, but you don’t want the pleasure to stop. And you really want to be filled.  

Ludwig rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry about fit. I’m taking her ass.” 

You clench at the words, growing wetter with anticipation.  

Ludwig lifts you high enough to free his cock. Lowers you down on to it and moves you back and forth, using your slick to lube him up. With the combination of your juices and Obie’s drool, there’ll be no issue.  

Your heart starts pounding when he presses against your puckered entrance. He feels big, so big, and he hadn’t bothered stretching you, hadn’t bothered with prep.  

He sheaths himself and it hurts. By the Gods and the Icons, it fucking hurts. You’re no stranger to taking things up the ass. But usually carefully. Slowly.  

His hand clamps over your mouth, muffling your wail. You shake and seize, clawing at his arms, trying desperately to climb off, but his grip is steadfast.  

You just need to relax. You know the pain will fade, that you’ll fucking adore the sensation, that you just need to relax and it will be okay, but fuck. He’d really stuck his entire length in, in one go. 

You pound your fist against his thighs, hard as you can, cursing around his hand. 

He only groans in response. Then chuckles. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re so tight like this.” 

Even Obie is hesitating, waiting for you to adjust before rejoining. 

“Just breathe, babe,” Ludwig croons at you. “Or keep struggling, it’s really hot.” 

Tears slide down your cheeks but you listen to Ludwig. Clenching and unclenching over and over. It takes almost a whole two minutes before the pain fades. Before you’re able to relax against him, tension draining from your muscles. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs against your ear. Then he fucks you.  

His pace makes you gasp. Then whimper. Then moan. There’s no more pain, thank fuck, just breathlessness, and the sensation of being deliciously filled. Lud lifts you up and down on his lap with ease, treating you almost like a thing. A toy. 

You reach out, trying to brace yourself, and end up bent forward, with your arms wrapped around Obie’s neck. You whimper and cry and swear against his ear and he lets you, stroking your hair until Lud pulls you upright again, using one hand to pull your arms behind your back. 

At the loss of contact Obie blinks, snapping out of his daze. Then he grins at you and lowers himself back between your thighs, tongue darting out to taste you once more. He flicks at your clit, making you arch and whine, before dipping back inside.  

You gasp and shudder, limbs twitching. You don’t remember the last time you felt this full. This stuffed. You don’t know how they’re doing this, how Obie can coax more of his sinuous tongue inside of you. Ludwig slows his fucking, and you’re entirely grateful. You don’t think you have a millimetre to spare inside of you.  

You try to keep your eyes open, but everything is a blur. A wonderful, fuzzy blur. Your head lolls to one side and you lock gazes with Mervin. It’s no surprise to see him fisting himself, but you still groan at the sight. You lick your lips, filled with envy. Your hands twitch, and if Ludwig weren’t holding them firm you’d be reaching for the pride demon.  

He smirks at your reaction. “Aw. Does our pet want to touch?” 

You nod, nearly mindless at this point.  

His smile softens. “Later, lovely. You look a tad occupied at the moment.” 

You whine. It takes a monumental effort to string your words together. To remember the right things to say to the pride demon. “Please, Mervin. You look so good right now.” 

He purses his lips. Cheeks bluing some more. “Oh?” 

You don’t know how effective your begging is going to be when you’re teary eyed, your hair is plastered to your neck with sweat, and you can barely vocalise your thoughts with the way Mervin’s brothers are fucking you, but you still try.  

“-wanna touch, wanna taste, please, please, please, bet you’ll feel so good-” 

He goes silent, eyes narrowing as he tries to keep his composure. But the way he bites down on his lip and grips himself harder are easy tells.  

“-bet you’ll taste so nice-” it’s hard to speak between Ludwig’s thrusts, “-you look so hot right now-” your head is spinning. “Please Mervin,” you whine his name.  

Obie comes up for air to scowl at the pride demon. “Take a hint, Mer.” 

With the glutton out of the way, Ludwig pauses long enough to turn sideways, bending you forward so that you’re spread across the couch again, kneeling, with your head nearly in Mervin’s lap. He keeps hammering into you, but with the new angle you’re inches from Mervin’s cock.  

You crane your head to stare up at him, awaiting permission. Any other time it might chafe to do so, but you’re so buzzed right now that you have no problem sliding into the submissive role. 

His restraint breaks. Finally, he angles his hips towards you. “Go on, then.”  

There’s no finesse in your actions. The angle’s not ideal and it’s hard to get a good rhythm with Ludwig’s fucking, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. You’re practically drooling, mouthing at his cock and licking up the sides before sucking on the tip. You swirl your tongue around, trying to make him feel as good as you’re feeling, fitting as much of him into your mouth as you can; sloppy in your enthusiasm.  

The hands in your hair turn to fists, and soon he’s thrusting up into your mouth, making you cough and gag. You try to relax, focusing on just breathing and getting fucked at both ends. It’s a fruitless effort and soon your eyes are lined with reflexive tears. 

There’s no warning before Ludwig comes in your ass. You relish the way he twitches, clenching hard around him, wishing desperately that there was something in your cunt, or that you had some friction against your clit. You could probably come again with some assistance.  

You shudder when Ludwig pulls out, his cum leaking out of your hole. You can feel the stares on your ass, and can’t help but squirm, moaning around Mervin’s length. He’s deep enough in your throat that he can feel your noises. 

 Suddenly you’re wrenched off his cock and being led up by the hair.  

“Sit. Now.” 

He makes you straddle him, not even hesitating before grabbing you by the hips and plunging into your pussy.  

You thought Ludwig was rough. Mervin surprises you with the force of his thrusts, one hand still fisted in your hair while the other grips your thigh. Your jaw falls slack and you’re powerless to stop the sounds from escaping you. Obscene moans, breathless grunts; all manner of lewd sounds.  

“You. Noisy. Slut.” He punctuates each word with a thrust of his hips. “You could have just said you wanted to fuck me. You must feel so honoured right now. I don’t do this to just anyone, you know.” 

His words blur together as you lose focus. You know he’s just talking himself up, that all you have to do is nod and agree. Still, you can’t help but tune back in when something brushes against your clit. You writhe when it presses harder, and a glance down reveals the spade of his tail pressed flush between you.  

“Are you going to come for me again, pet? Show me how good I make you feel?” 

Insufferable as he can be, you don’t plan to argue, spreading wider, trying to grind against his tail while keeping rhythm with his fucking. It’s nearly impossible. Your limbs feel like jelly, and you just want to collapse on top of the purple demon.  

You must look as fucked out and pathetic as you feel, because somebody takes pity on you; another pair of hands come to rest at your waist, lifting you up and down on Mervin’s length.  

You let yourself go slack; your arms give out and your face presses against Mervin’s shoulder. If you had more brain function left, you might be struck with just how arousing the situation is; somebody else pumping you up and down Mervin’s cock.  

You look down. Yellowed hands grip your waist. And past them Mervin’s tail still grinds against you; the demon now able to direct more attention to your clit.  

Part of your mind skitters towards the demon behind you. The strength of his grip and the press of his erection against your back. But he doesn’t do more than support you, lifting you up and down. You’re not sure if you’re glad or disappointed. Especially as your next (and hopefully last) orgasm starts to present itself; coiling in your core and making your legs shake. 

Mervin’s claws dig into your skin when he shudders and comes inside you. Obie lets go of your waist, but you keep grinding against Mervin’s lap, whimpering with need. He couldn’t stop now, not when you were so close.  

Somebody laughs. You’re released, collapsing into a heap on the couch. Pushed onto your back. Legs spread.  

The touches don’t stop. Thank fuck. 

Brutal pressure against your clit until you’re a shaking mess, gasping and coming with a series of ungodly noises.  

Then the room is still.  

You might just pass out. Partially, at least. There’s the sound of the tv, still going. Some voices, accompanied by gentle, but firm touches. 

“-put her clothes back on would ya-” 

“-needs to shower, idiot-” 

“-thought humans weren’t supposed to sleep in the shower?” 

You’re too floaty to care for the bickering, just appreciative when somebody dresses you and you’re sprawled across the couch again. There’s more discussion; soft, mindful of your presence. Then hands at your hair. Fingers at your legs again, unknotting any sore muscles. 

You crack your eyes open. It looks as if everyone has returned to their previous positions.  

Obie is sitting at the foot of the couch, his head a few inches from your own. He catches your stare and gives you a smile.  

‘You. Me. Later,’ you mouth to him.  

He flushes.  

[vel17]

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

[skrunksthatwunk]

would be really cool if my mood ever stopped vacillating wildly between high-anxiety self-loathing despair mixed with bonesludge ennui and wowie!!! gosh im such a cute giggler i looooooove picking flowers and skipping!!!!! isn't life so grand? :D within the span of a few minutes. girl slow down. pump the brakes there kid bc this thing sure as shit didn't come with a seatbelt

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[girlbob-boypants]

Maybe it only bothers me because our early sessions were full of growing pains and one player quit because they thought my character was boring.

[xerospaced]

So... maybe it's time to address the elephant in the room

My low self esteem.

My confidence was stripped away in every aspect and I have yet to regain it

Between my lack of productivity and nothing to show for myself

The requirements of others that I am so far from meeting

And my ma's consistent negative perception of me and energy toward me

I feel... completely worthless and devoid of value.

And ofc I tell myself otherwise and such.

And I do mantras and affirmations

And I look for the good in myself

But

I dunno

I cant see one shred of evidence to support the concept that I'm worth something

There is one exception. I'm useful.

I'm incredibly useful.

Call me and I'm there.

Make a request and I'll fulfil it.

Ask something of me. Even if I find it difficult. I'll see to it that it gets done.

For those I care about.

I am available. I am the person you turn to. I am the voice of reason. The source of sound advice. I am a positive energy. A calming presence. A bringer of peace. And the person who encourages you to honour yourself above all else.

I am very useful.

I am a tool.

Literally

But when it's just me. Not fulfilling some use just... existing

I'm taking up space.

A drain on resources.

A useless entity waiting to be put to use.

I don't see myself anymore.

I'm so familiar with depression and anxiety and self hate. And I've come so far from that.

I'd made it to joy and love and appreciation!

But so accustomed to the darkness that being in this space...

I didn't notice that it's actually... Not good.

I'd have the odd self criticising thought and then I would correct it and go about my day

And ive felt lacklustre. And I've had very little pride. And more and more I find myself wanting to avoid talking about me.

But im not depressed. And I don't hate myself and I AM correcting those thoughts. And my comments on myself do always end on a positive note.

A forced positive?

An empty one?

A shell of the thing I am telling myself. The thing I used to be but no longer am.

I do not feel good about myself.

And being that I'm not treating myself poorly. And that I'm am still approaching myself with kindness and patience. I've been ignorant to the fact that I don't feel good about myself. I don't see any significant good in myself.

By which I mean, yes, I see and acknowledge the good. But it's minimal. Its nothing compared to what I'm not. What I'm lacking. What I'm supposed to be. What I'm capable of.

I'm basically just a "nice" person. With some good words.

I have a kind heart sure sure

But what of it?

What makes me meaningful?

What am I really but a fleeting fancy? Enjoyment for the moment?

Because when I really look at me. When anyone looks at me. There's just not much to see.

I endured far more critical damage than I had realised

I've been impacted far more deeply than I'd considered up til now.

I knew I'd been wounded deeply but I thought I was in tact.

I'm not

I feel like a wound. Barely bandaged. Oozing. Never quite healing.

And completely unattended.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[brunetteaura]

perhaps instead of constantly being afraid of disappointing people close to me i just gotta see the possibility that i cant and dont have to please anyone but myself. and if people do walk out of my life so what. literally what is going to happen fucking nothing my life would go on and ill be able to get through it because ive got me and its all i need

[saintshigaraki]

my brain rn is just hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks hawks-

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

Hey hi, so, i absolutely love your western AU and I'd like to propose something to you.

Imagine: A "Hell's Coming With Me" type scene, what does this entail?.

The merry band being thrown out of the town/fleeing/going away

Them coming back stronger in a very cool way with the sunset behind their backs

Ultimate showdown vibes on top

Either betting it all in a last ditch attempt or the masterplan that has been brewing in the background finally coming to fruition and setting all hell loose

Bonus: it wouldn't have to be a battle in the physical sense, and by that i mean that KDJ could've been pulling some 5head shenanigan with the same wavelength as the chaos points scheme during TWOSAD arc.

ALTERNATIVELY: Them losing but Bihyung (a la Final Scenario) using his powerup (either his current political power he's been building up while this whole thing happens, or straigh up getting elected for mayor) bails them out and ends all their problems.

Anyways, did you know i love your AU?

LOVE the idea of the gang leaving on powerup quests oogh agh yeah

the final showdown is something ive been stewing over for a couple days now actually, ,,ive got a Big Awful orv finale esque twist in mind but not quite to the level of the od reveal in the epilogues. lots of Big Theme stuff about like the subjective nature of morality and like what makes a life worth living etc etc. some heavy handed story symbolism

so while i do super love the idea of everyone going down guns blazing or like a badass Coolguy Line Moment (WHICH. THESE SCENES STILL WILL HAPPEN. I HAVE SEVERAL IN MIND) for the finale its definitely going to be a more subdued close i think

but then again im notoriously indecisive so who knows! you may get your magnificent seven big glorious fight just yet anon

thank you for sending this ask in!!! i love that you love my humble little au and i hope it continues to be something you enjoy

[doomednarrative]

Could never understand being a Michinaga hater the guy has carried the Entire series for me at this point

[phantom-does-a-thing]

I love making new blog themes and refusing to change my pfp