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thejokersenigma · 6 years ago

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Joker x Reader - Request - How to Save a Life

This was a request i was given a while ago based on the song How to Save a Life by The Fray

This isn’t particularity good, but I’m just trying to get myself back into writing so if you fancy giving it a read, go ahead, but it’s quite limited in character interaction

Let me know if you want to be tagged in anything

MAIN MASTERLIST

You didn’t have the energy for this

It had only been days since your release from hospital - at which point you had still been largely unable to move and your thoughts had been only upon when your next dose of painkillers would be – but now you were stood out on the cold streets of Gotham, biting down hard on your back teeth against the agony in your legs that came from walking this far in your condition.

No, you really didn’t have the energy for this.

But it also couldn’t wait.

You bobbed a subtle nod to the familiar man waiting at the back door of the warehouse, careful to hide any sign of the limp you sported as you walked down the alley – trying to pass your slow gait as due to confidence, not pain.

The man nodded back, though his face remained an emotionless mask. Just like it was supposed to be.

It had always struck you as weird how, despite the exuberant nature of their boss, the men that worked for J maintained a constant impassive and detached mask. You were never stupid enough to question it though.

The man step aside as you now moved to the doorway, holding the door open for you without a word. You made no word towards the gesture, simply stepping through into the dark corridor before. You might have been temporarily disorientated by the darkness if you didn’t know the building so well, and your strides didn’t falter as you continued straight, then took a left down an unseen corner.

You pushed open a heavy door in front of you and stepped into yet another dark room, blinking blindly at the sudden harsh artificial light that flickered automatically on overhead, triggered by your movement.

The warehouse before you lit up in stark, unforgiving honesty, but still you didn’t pause as you made your way across the empty concrete floor. The last time you had been here, the room had been full of crates containing things that you’d long since lost interest in asking about – weapons, drugs, explosives. They always disappeared as fast as they came anyway - supplies always moving. You were naïve and never lasted long if you left those sorts of things lying around in one place too long. Someone might track it down – another crime lord, mafia rejects, maybe even the cops if they got a little help from a flying masked man.

The cruel light made a spot between your eyes pound painfully and you felt your wince pull at the tiny healing cuts on your that littered your face and at the stiches that held the larger ones together.

You had removed the bandage that the medics had insisted you kept around your forehead, exposing one of the largest cuts to the air, and you touched it gingerly now, checking it hadn’t begun to bleed again and fighting the wave of nausea that washed over you.

The doctors had wanted to keep you in longer, but the moment you could move – the moment you could sit up and then stand without feeling violent waves of nausea – you had demanded to be released.

You hadn’t like to just sit around and wait for someone to find you. You wanted everything to be on your own terms.

That’s how you survived.

And that’s what you’d been doing for years now. Surviving.

And it was killing you.

You pushed through a swinging door on the other end of the room, the light flickering on overhead as you moved down the corridor before you finally paused. You took a deep, painful breath where you hesitated.

Step one.

You rapped on the door in front of you. “J.” You called through it, clearing your throat at the weak croak in your voice before you called out again. There was a grunt from within the room and you pushed the door open.

The Joker was stood on the your left, head down as he studied something on the desk in front of him and he didn’t bother to glance up as you stepped in. “J,” You murmured, closing the door behind you, “we need to talk.”

“Busy.” He growled, still not bothering to look up and now making as though to move past the desk and towards the door.

“Sit down, J.” You stated moodily, standing your ground and trying to catch his eyes. “It’s just a talk.” You insisted firmly when he faltered.

The Joker finally met your gaze, hard a stony for just a second before a wide smile split his face, though it didn’t meet his eyes. “Of course, my dear.” He bobbed his head politely and you watched him suspiciously as he now backtracked towards his desk, hands held out in a peace offering. “Go on, l’ll humour you,” He allowed, “If only ‘cause you’re all banged up!” He grinned widely, flopping down onto the chair behind him, throwing his arms wide with the movement.

Whose fault is that, you felt like saying, but you bit it back, knowing the comment – though true, would not help the situation. You kept your face impassive despite the Joker’s leer at you, unwilling to let J joke or play his way out of this.

There was still that window of opportunity here – a chance to stop this before you went through with it – a chance to back out.

You stepped forward, placing your foot wrong and quickly catching yourself as your leg went to buckle beneath you. You righted yourself, ignoring your fault and not missing the fact that J had not reacted in any way, ignoring it too. You weren’t surprised though - he didn’t begrudge you your injuries, but he wasn’t about to admit anything vulnerable within himself by offering anything in the form of aid. Somehow that would be an insult to him.

It still hurt you and not for the first time you wondered why you came.

“I know you’re busy, I’ll keep this short.” You stated coolly and J raised his eyebrows his bemused surprise at your seriousness.

“As tough as always I see, doll.” He teased with a growl, but you’re face remained sober. You knew he just wanted to brush this off as he always did, make you forgive him that easily and slip right back into your usual routine – where he was almost sweet to you as you healed, enough to draw you back in, then became cool and callous and you tried to turn a blind eye to it whilst he started tossing you around again like his own personal rag doll again.

“J, I’m leaving.”

You saw the grin on the Joker’s face flicker and falter for the briefest moment and then he arched his brow at you again. You couldn’t help shifting uncomfortably where you stood, not liking how vulnerable you suddenly felt. But didn’t this confirm all your thoughts to you – should feel this exposed and helpless around someone you supposedly loved.

You could almost see the options laid out before you now. Take back the words you had just uttered and stay on this path - stay with J, stay with this life – or what was left of it. Or leave and live to see old age.

J could read your face. “You’re giving up.” He sneered. It was an accusation, not a question, and it stung after everything you’d been through with him.

“I’d hardly class it as giving up J,” You snorted weakly, hiding your pain at the comment. “I’m surviving - I value my life and I thought you might actually value yours.” He laughed as though that was hilarious and you wondered why you’d even bothered to do this – to come and sit him down and try to explain, to give him a chance to save his own life as you tried to save your own.

Your last bout of trying merely to survive in this life had, after all, been what left you in the hospital with your wide variety of injuries.

You had counted your wounds numerous times as you’d laid there prone in the sterile medical room, recalling which of the bones had been broken for the second or third time. Even now, your fingers were still strapped as you lifted your hand to brush a strand of hair away from your face, and your breathing was still shallow thanks to the sharp pain that came from your ribs at each inhale.

Your shoulder should have been strapped too – as should your wrist after one had been dislocated and the other sprained - but the last thing you wanted to show was weakness. You would get no pity here as J had already clearly proven.

You still had the vivid memory of waking up in that hospital and the sudden overwhelming fear of the state you were in – able to wiggle your toes but little else, and even that had not been a pleasant experience, your entire body emanating pain that was only dully staved off the some strong painkiller that had been trickling meagrely through the IV in your right, unmoveable arm.

You had been lucky to be alive, you had known that without the doctors and nurses routinely reminding you.

You hadn’t been so lucky, you knew however, to be alone.

“You wanna get off the merry go round, huh?” J sneered, breaking into your thoughts. “You feelin’ sick? Dizzy? Ya know if ya mighta been on too long, dolly,” J pointed out cruelly, “Get off now and the whole world’s just gonna keep spinning around ya sweety.”

You scowled at his malicious grin.

No one else had been in the harsh, sterile white room with you. No one. For once you had awoken strapped to beeping machines surrounding you and sore beyond comprehension without a sullen looking clown in the corner.

Or at the very least a guard posted to alert his boss when you awoke.

Nothing, not even someone waiting outside the door, and the week you spent no one came.

You should have been glad – who would want their own attacker in the room with them after all - but to you it had just rammed home a fact more painful than all of your physical injuries.

J didn’t care anymore.

And so you couldn’t either – though you knew that was easier said than done – even now as you stared into his cold grin and unyielding gaze.

You didn’t know at what point it had changed, what you had done wrong to form this cold, bitter wall between the two of you.

It was almost worse than the violent outbursts.

You had to leave and save your own life and your own sanity.

Of course, you wanted to save J’s as well - if you could. But that was ultimately up to him.

You feared you knew his answer though. You should have just run really – run and not looked back – not risked this visit – but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave for good without trying.

It was going to be hard though – J had to ultimately see the problem with where you were now – to want to save himself - to leave - to heal.

You knew the chances of this, but you simply – and foolishly - loved him too much not to try.

You knew the Joker was manipulative though and you couldn’t let him drag you back into it all.

“J, you might not believe this, but its for the best. For both of us. But I’d really appreciate it if you came with me. Neither of us have to do this on our own, but I will if I have to.”

“You’re the one who wanted this –“

“And I know this is you,” You confessed, slipping past his usual defence of you knew what you’d gotten yourself into. “But you’re not innocent in this – we didn’t use to be like this.”

You could almost see the window of opportunity fading with J’s silence and his stony eyes. Deep down you knew he wouldn’t follow you, but you didn’t want to believe it. But you couldn’t follow him wither more either. “J, there is so much wrong with us now, I could stand here and list everything out, but we both know it all already.” You sighed, shaking your head hopelessly, ignoring the wave of nausea that washed over you at the movement. “J this isn’t healthy. I think I knew all along it would end like this, but I – I didn’t want to face it.”

You kept your eyes low and wondered once again why you had bothered to even come and the point that it had all changed – when had your fun soured – when you could no longer consider the J as a friend – an ally – and instead he became a manacle, holding you in place - holding you in pain.

When had you lost everything?

“J, will you come with me?” You finally croaked, not able to look up, knowing what was going to happen next. “Will you save yourself?”

The Joker let out a bark of laughter. “Well listen to the preacher herself!” He cackled harshly, “The poster girl for sanity!” He gestured at you, “Oh girly you knew what you were getting into before I even bothered to take a smidgen of notice of you.” He grinned cruelly. “Now you’re telling me to save myself?!”

You could hear the silent fury behind the grins and cackling and you lowered your voice as J raised his, granting him one last choice. “The option is there J, you can carry on down this road, lose yourself completely, or break with those who drag you down it - come with me.”

You knew this was the last shot. The Joker would now do one of two things - admit to everything, the path he slipped further and further down, confess what had happened to the two of you, maybe even admit you were right.

Or he would say he was not the same as you, that this was his life and unwilling to change. And you would leave the room alone, wondering once again, just why you’d came.

There was a third option as well you supposed - perhaps he would just kill you.

You waited, but it was all too clear in J’s eyes what his answer was. You took a large shaky breath, “I know your answer, but I had to try.” You confessed, shrugging heavily. “I’m going to go.” You murmured, turning. “Good luck.” You muttered heading for the door.

You glanced back one last time at J, praying this both was and wasn’t the last time you had saw him. You would have waited longer - stayed with him all night if you had to – if you thought there was a chance you could change his mind – convince him.

Had you just known how to save him.

#joker x reader #joker #joker fan fiction #thejokersenigma #thejokersenigma fan fiction #joker x reader fan fiction

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tonystarkreactor · 7 years ago

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Falling on Deaf Ears

Inspired by this post by @reioka (because jesus it resonated hard), but it’s a bit different. Hope you like it!

Summary: It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

(Or five times Tony's ignored by his teammates, and one time someone finally listens.)

Link for AO3

It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

“--but it can’t be Kevlar because while it’s strong, it’s not light enough, and isn’t nearly as flexible as human skin, so then I was curious and I started researching, and then I thought it could be nano cellulose, because it’s completely organic and way more flexible, but actually, it’s so organic it would react with the water in his body and it would get all bloated, and considering John Smith did not, in fact, blow up into a balloon, it couldn’t have been that. So then, I kept researching, and--”

Tony faltered as Clint glanced away, distractedly looking at the TV. Tony tried to smile, before halfheartedly continuing, “--And-- and it actually could be graphene, because it’s only made up of locked carbon crystals and is almost totally nonreactive, and it’s so light you could--”

And now Clint isn’t even looking at him at all, not even trying to make it seem like he’s paying attention.

“You-- you could actually have a layer as big as a football field, and it would still way less than...”

He isn’t listening.

“... a gram,” Tony mumbled, his hands shaking around his mug of coffee. He shut his eyes and set it down, shaking his head.

It didn’t matter. Really, it didn’t.

Tony refused to let out a breath as he silently stood up and disappeared from the room.

II.

God knew Tony liked to ramble, and despite him trying to stop himself, he constantly caught himself going on for a half hour without even stopping.

“And then this guy-- I don’t even know who the fuck he was-- just came up to me and told me-- he didn’t ask, he told me-- to sign his middle finger. I don’t know why, like was he gonna get it tattooed or something? That’s still not as weird, though, as the time when a guy…”

He didn’t even know when he’d started, but when he looked up, no one was even in the room. He looked towards the couch Steve had basically taken over the last few months. (He liked to draw in here. And watch Tony work. Not listen, though, apparently.) There was an abandoned, half-finished sketch on the coffee table.. Tony had no idea when he’d left.

Tony closed his mouth, setting down the Allen wrench he’d been fiddling with. He remembered, back in college, hanging out with Ty.

“Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?”

Tony clenched his jaw before picking up the wrench and going back to work.

III.

The power had gone out all across the city, including the coffee shop he and Nat liked to disappear to sometimes in the middle of the night for coffees that were more sugar than coffee. When Tony pulled out his phone to find the cause of the power outage, his findings made it easy for him to pass the time with some chatting. Or rather, ranting.

“God, this is ridiculous. God fucking dammit, Justin Hammer can suck my-- you know what, no, he can’t, because I deserve better than that. Justin Hammer can suck a duck’s dick-- except no, even a rabid corkscrew-dicked duck deserves better than that. Wait, can ducks even get rabies? Justin Hammer can get rabies. Fuck, Hammer probably does have rabies, that’d explain his complete idiocy, not to mention how much he spits when he talks, Jesus Christ, and just how the hell does he manage to make a virus that causes power to go out all across Manhattan? How did that man ever finish the seventh gra--”

“Shit.”

Tony looked up from the floor, only to see Natasha’s face illuminated by her phone. She was-- she was playing a game, something that revolved around colors. Something that was completely absorbing her attention.

Attention that was not, as he thought, on him..

“Uh, Nat?” he said, his coffee suddenly feeling cold.

“Hm?” she hummed, tapping her thumb against the screen furiously. She didn’t bother to look up.

“Uh. Were you listening?” he asked, his voice sounding stupidly hopeful.

“Justin Hammer, idiot, something about duck dicks, I got it,” she said, before huffing as she lost again. “Dammit.”

Tony nodded, his voice sounding small and subdued. “Right.”

IV.

“And-- oh! Oh, you probably haven’t gone to Coney Island yet, have you? It’s fun, as long as, y’know, you don’t do the hot dog eating contest right before you ride the Cyclone. But the Wonder Wheel’s always fun. I mean, I was terrified of it when I was little, but that’s because I was scared of heights. It wasn’t like it was unfounded, though, I mean, I did fall off the roof of the mansion once. Not like. All the way to the ground. Just to one of the lower dormers. I don’t remember what I was doing. I think I was looking at the stars. Or maybe I was trying to launch a rocket. Actually, I think I might have been trying to set off a weather balloon.

“Whatever, point is, my fear wasn’t unjustified. I’m not afraid anymore, though. Of heights, that is. I’m afraid of loads of other stuff, like clowns? Dolls? All that nonsense? Yeah, no. Never. I will never allow those in my presence. At least I’m not scared of chickens. Rhodey is. They freak him out. I don’t know. Personally, I think it stems from a project involving an egg he had to do in his high school home ec class, but I’m no professional.

“What was I saying? Oh, yeah, you’d love Coney Island. You could totally invite Jane up for a weekend, it’s a prime date loca… tion.”

Thor wasn’t even standing next to him anymore. He was at a churro stand twenty feet back, smiling cheerfully at the vendor as he bought a few.

Tony closed his mouth before silently walking back to join the thunder god.

When Thor completed his purchase, he took a bite of his fried pastry. He turned to Tony, smiling widely. “Anthony! These cinnamon treats are delightful!”

Tony forced a grin. “Uh-huh.”

Sometimes he wasn’t even chattering nonsense. Sometimes, it was important.

“Plus, something about just getting it off my chest, and putting it out there in the atmosphere, instead of holding this in… I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know. Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener. To be able to share all my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cut the weight of it in half. You know, it’s like a snake swallowing its own tail. Everything comes full circle...”

There was a thud, and Tony faltered. “And-- and the fact that you’ve been able to help me process…” He looked over, and Bruce was rubbing his eyes. He-- he just-- oh. He’d been sleeping.

“You with me?” Tony said, after a moment of hesitation, hoping he’d been wrong.

“Sorry, I was, yeah. We were at, um…”

Tony resisted a sigh. “Are you actively napping?” he said, not bothering to hide his offense.

Bruce stammered. “I was… I… I drifted.”

Tony bit his lip so he wouldn’t do something stupid like scream. “Where did I lose you?”

Bruce hesitated for a second, at least having the decency to look guilty, before he said, “Elevator in Switzerland.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. “So you heard none of it.”

Bruce shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He reached towards Tony, but the genius shifted away ever so slightly. “I’m not that kind of doctor. I’m not a therapist; it’s not my training--”

Tony’s frustration bubbled over. “So?” That’s not why he called Bruce, he was just-- his doctor told him he needed to talk to people, and he thought maybe his friend would listen, but no-- no, of course not.

“I don’t have the…”

“What, the time?” Tony finished, staring at his friend, trying not to show the way his brain was shutting down.

“Temperament.”

Tony nodded, before beginning to ramble about something meaningless so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret.

Because this had been important. It had been.

It had, hadn’t it?

“--and God, he’s hopeless. He tries his best and all, but Jesus, he’s a disaster. Half the coffee I’ve ingested over the last twenty years has contained some kind of grease or oil. He has his own cone of shame that has his name on it. Honestly, he’s ridiculous. One time, though, I found him with a flower crown on his head, and I honestly have no idea how he got it. Where could Dum-E have gotten a flower crown? I think he and JARVIS were messing with me. God, those two could team up and do some ridiculous--”

Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?

Tony cut himself off, barely glancing towards his companions before dropping his gaze to his hands, his hands fiddling with a thread on his jeans.

They didn’t care, stop fucking rambling for once in your damn life, just--

“Stark?”

Tony startled, looking up at Gamora, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Expectantly.

Wait. Everyone was looking at him expectantly. Drax had turned away from looking out the window to look at him, Groot was swinging from the ceiling patiently, Rocket was looking up from the gutted gun in front of him, and Peter was sitting across from him with a grin on his face. His beloved Walkman (which used to make Tony cringe, but had since gained his own adoration as soon as he learned of the sentiment attached to it) was even paused.

“Huh?” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“You were saying?” she said, tilting her head forward.

Tony blinked. “What?”

“You were telling us of your children,” Drax said. “JARVIS and the dumb one liked to team up and prank you.”

“Well--” Tony stumbled, his eyes flickering between each of them before looking at his hands again. ‘--yeah, but you guys don’t want to hear about all that.”

“What the hell makes you think that?” Rocket snapped, making Tony startle and look up. “We were all listening!”

“I am Groot!” Groot added, kicking his little legs and nodding enthusiastically.

Tony blinked, before he glanced around at them. “I-- no, it’s fine. Seriously. I get carried away sometimes. I didn’t realize I’d been talking so much, it’s fine. You guys can just-- you can just get back to what you were doing.”

Across from him, Peter frowned. Tony caught the look he gave around the room, but he didn’t get what it meant until everyone was quietly making their way out, going to different parts of the ship. Rocket grumbled and Groot sighed in defeat, but besides that, there were no protests.

Once they were alone, Peter walked around the table separating them and sat next to Tony, taking the genius’s hands in his.

“What was that, Tony?” he asked, and Tony winced when he heard the quiet hint of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to prattle on and on. Just tell me to shut up whenever, okay?” he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

Peter huffed out an exasperated yet soft, “Aw, stardust,” before he gently pulled Tony from his own seat and into his lap. “You know I will never tell you to shut up, because I love hearing you talk. Your brain is awesome and your mouth is awesome, and I love everything that comes out of both.”

Tony huffed, ducking his head and hiding his face in Peter’s neck. “Peter…” he said, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“I’m serious,” Peter argued, pressing a kiss to Tony’s head. “You could literally talk about nothing at all for days on end, and I would never get tired.”

“That’s stupid,” Tony mumbled, his lips tickling Peter’s skin.

“Maybe, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as you thinking I don’t like it when you talk.” He ducked his chin so he could gently push Tony’s head up, and he gave him a raised eyebrow. “Would you like to tell me where exactly this worry came from?”

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pete…” he whined.

“Because if it was the Avengers--” He chuckled bitterly. “I’ve got another thing to add onto my list of stuff to shoot them about.”

“You mean talk to them about,” Tony corrected, raising his eyebrows.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically. “If talk is a euphemism for shoot.”

“Peter.”

“Nuh-uh. If those assholes seriously made you think that people don’t care about what you’re saying, then they deserve to be shot. Everyone else agrees.”

“That’s because everyone else is gun-happy.”

“When it comes to the Avengers? Hell, yeah, we are.”

Tony rolled his eyes before dropping his head down again, allowing Peter to pepper his hair with kisses.

“Seriously, though,” Peter said. “I love it when you talk. I swear I do. Especially when you’re excited. You’re freakin’ gorgeous like that.”

“Peter,” Tony whined, even as Peter lifted his chin so he could kiss his neck.

“You are,” Peter sang, kissing up his neck and along his jaw. “You’re gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous--”

“You said that already.”

“Stardust, you’re so gorgeous, it counts three times,” Peter mumbled into his cheek, before finally pulling away and smiling at him. “Maybe four. Maybe five.”

Tony rolled his eyes, smacking Peter’s shoulder. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Not as ridiculous as your eyes. Seriously, I could drown in those.” Ignoring Tony’s groan, he continued, “Really! There’s so pretty. I could literally stare at them all day. Like, your eyes, your lips, and your voice. That’s all I need for the rest of my life. I don’t ever need anything else. Not even food.”

Tony rolled his eyes, resting his head on Peter’s shoulder. “You’re so dumb,” he muttered fondly.

“I dunno, I must’ve done something right if I got you,” Peter said.

Tony lifted his head, giving Peter an unimpressed look.

Peter grinned, tightening his hold around Tony’s waist. “So, do you wanna keep telling me about your AIs’ and bots’ shenanigans?”

“I could,” Tony said, smiling dopily as he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “But I’d kind of rather be kissing you.”

Peter grinned. “See, I told you your mouth is awesome.”

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mercenarypark · 7 years ago

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tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"] but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

#ask to tag /#reblog if u want idc /#captain's log #my writing #i guess?#tf2 posts

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bigbrotherorre · 6 years ago

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episode one: “TODAY WE LEARNED UNLESS BRYCE FEELS LIKE THE PRETTIEST GIRL AT THE DANCE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH” - AUTUMN hoh: BRYCE evicted: ROXY - 13 to 3

Okay WOOOO. So hey, I'm here doing a DR pre-season, because? I am cracked, a mess and SOOO EXCITED. Also, I looked up fun words, to find something to use as my confessional codeword, and "brouhaha" means "a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something" WHICH IS SO APPROPRIATE. So woo, enjoy the brouhaha that is my excitement for this season. I just wanna say a couple of things: 1) Nicholas and Julia posting those clock gifs is gonna make my head fall off, thats so scary. If it means past season twists like someone said in the VL, I'm NERVY. RoseGold POVs are my biggest fear, and I know there was a season where prejury was all about them so YIKES. Calling it now, I'm gonna get sent home by a rosegold PoV. 2) Emily and Lukas was such an iconic F2, no matter whomst the F2 is in Orre, we will never match them 3) I wanna make some pre-season picks of who I expect to see cast, that way if they win, I can take total credit. I'm feeling like Raffy, Sammy and Aren might be in the cast, based on literally nothing khajsdfla. Raffy as a player terrifies me (I was also the person who brought him into this community so whew), but he gets CRACKED so whew! Aren is a scorpio so we stan. ANYWHO. I'm so excited for this season, its gonna be a HOOOOOT.

Wooh so ready for the season to start!!!

Hola, did you miss me? This is going to be me reflecting back on my Johto experience and trying to point out the mistakes I made, and how this game will be different. (this is before cast reveal) The first mistake I did in Johto was go against the premade. I was wary of Connor and Ari, and I thought painting the target on the returnee wouldnt only be easy but would be successful. And then I found out that I couldn't, and then Connor made friends with everybody on my team and fucked me over in the long run. The second mistake I did in Johto was being messy. A prime example was making pseudo "alliance" chats in order to sway the vote for people to keep me. This proved to be unsuccessful. I also had a mental breakdown like every night, so that just buried me more. The third mistake I did in Johto was throw the veto the week I was nominated. I felt like I couldve won it but I decided to study for my test. I didnt compete in the pov that i shouldve won. SO now its time to do what I need to do for my redemption is quite simple. The last 3 ORGs ive played for BB i have made 2nd, 4th, and 3rd. And I learned quite a lot To negate my first mistake I'm not going to publicly target anbody. I will join the mob mentality to ensure my safety in early weeks. To negate my second mistake I am going to keep all my alliances as 1on1s. No alliances bigger than 3 people, and make sure to keep whatever information I have to myself. I will not snake out any information. To negate my third mistake is to try in all competitions. I will not throw anything I will not submit for anything unless I really cant. If I give it my all and still leave I can't beat myself up that bad. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. These freaks aren't gonna know what hit them.

Okay one hour to premiere! The fact that I've made two DRs pre-season? thats wild. I am gonna give a go at predicting the cast, based on... borderline nothing, beyond paranoia: Veronica Constance Raffy Autumn Olivia Eddie Elmo Hals Sammy Aren Those are guesses I'm confident in, so I'm gonna stick to that! Lets see if I get anyone right ajlkdsfas

Okay this isn't as bad as i thought except i'm a hot ass mess and messaged a picture into the house chat and i'm about to DIE

wut in the FUCK is happening who the hell are these people theyre mental all of them. nice to see sammy and ali though i fucking love them but i am terrified of playing with ali i literally said to my host chat 3 hrs before the game started "please say its all newbies so im not playing with zeezo" AND SHES HERE WTF

omg this FREAKING CAST IS WILD and i'm not gonna lie i'm a little worried that i might fight over half of them before the second week is finished...

not gonna lie seeing ashvika and roxy made me wanna kill myself but also i'm totally dying at the sight of ZEEZO AND BRYCE <3 also THIS COMP FREAKING SUCKS i need to find a group of friends asap so i don't flop. i'm gonna try to bring together bryce, zeezo, sammy, kat, and maybe ricky.... either gonna be lit or bite me in the ass

Hi!!! Y'all casted way too many people but it's ok cause I really like everyone so far whew. Also I really will do my intro video I swear... first thing tomorrow lmao

THIS SHIT IS OVERWHELMING AF! SOOOO MANY FREAKIN PPL IM TALKIN TOO! I LIKE MOST OF THEM but som im like k. then like the call i do not want to join bc shit they cracked af! hopefully its not my undoing but i feel like my social is pretty strong atm. #BBgameEVER

i'm just happy that ashvika is willing to put our unnecessarily tragic rivalry behind us and play this game right this time around. hopefully we'll be able to keep up the "we hate each other" look in the house chat and such so we can actually WORK TOGETHER this time. obvi i love her, and i just want the backstabbing madness to stop. hopefully she really has put out past behind her bc i'm ready to move on. like we're both pretty, we need to stick together. also shook that i talked to blake the longest today in pms???? like???? okay??? bryce and i look like we're in this for the long haul, hopefully we aren't first and second boot!! bc i have a weird feeling imma be pre-jury for some reason dsgdf

Night 1 Thots: Short term goal? to be as pathetic as possible. Probaly shouldn't have told alivia so soon that I was johnchen from bbtc world as after watching her intro vid. the could come back to bite me. Ryan seems like someone who I can ride on his coat tails for a while to get my foot in this game. So short term I need to be as pathetic as possible and hope this julia/bryce/sammy thing from house of shade starts to erupt.

me at alivia

Really regretting making my code word tractor.. Not a fan. But um me and alivia talked for like 4 hours and we're both legends. We have a cute google sheet bet ur all jealous. Her and ashvika are gonna pretend that they hate each other but they dont actually!! How fun. Hope i dont slip and blow their covers JKDFHKSJD. Everyone seems to know everyone which is scary. When i first saw Jela and Julia were cast I was scared that theyd target me b/c we had a rough introduction, but honestly theyre legends. Idk why i told jela i was missing a left toe.. but i did and now idk what to do about that whole thing. Maybe ill say i got drunk and dont remember saying that but it isnt true.. IDK WHAT TO DO. But um yaa happy to see zeezo here too but scared ppl will think we're a duo but honestly I dont think ppl will. Um I should do a cast first impression thing wooh! Ricky: Played my first tumblr game with him but dont really know him. Seemed nice but not much there Randy: seems like a legend. Poc king. Um talked to him and he wanted to know more about me but wouldnt talk about himself so!! Idk hope we talk more seems fun. Julia: Um called me out. Called me fat. Fun tho!! Seems untrustworthy but no bad blood. Roxy: Talked a bit, um shes fun?? Dont think she likes me Ashvika: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Alivia: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Honestly want to go to the end with her tho so I just am gonna have to make sure I outplay her so we can be f2. Bryce: ugly cast pic. Is he even a poc??? Zeezo: THE LOML I LOVE HER SO MUCH. we both seem to be working together so im happy. Hope to work with her and have her carry me in comps. She will beat lachies record. #menareover Kat: wish she was jade ;(. JK!! Love her so much already. She is so nice and fun and like just seems like a great person. Honestly shes gonna mist me too. Jose: Epicmafia king. We never work together and always betray each other so... first chance for everything??? He seems fun tho love him hope he slays (less than me tho) Sammy: I literally love him hes so nice but i never pm him so thats awk KDSJFHDKSj hope that this game changes that!! Lynn: Legend. Loves hufflepuff, hates middle school. Like I think we click but i know her and blake are like super close so idk if shed ever be closer with me but i hope so b/c shes just like.. amazing!! Saxon: Talks a lot. About himself. Maybe itll change when i talk to him more. Likes super hero movies so wooh i guess. Jela: Thought she hated me but maybe now she doesnt. Shes really funny actually so hopefully we can be allies. Blake: know that hes super smart and good at the game but like he got rekt by queen tara so maybe ill do that to him. We talked but it was bland but guess ill push through it Dennis: So his name is annoying to spell so had to change that quick. Kind of hate him??? But hes fun!!! Didnt know carly rae jepsen made music still so like the stan in me wanted to hang up the call on him. BUT then he msged me asking for carly songs to listen to so like.. love him now. Cant believe he knew all the social game hed need with me was just pretending to like my queen Autumn: We talked about her past games and it was basically me fangirlling about her ENDING eddie LOL. think we can work together because we both like intersectional feminism John: Tried talking to him but didnt go anywhere. But im gonna make it work!! Ive decided we'll be close so wooh Olivia: took 2 hours to respond to me. like musicals tho. kept ignoring me tho. Alivia outsold. Ali: PURE KING. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. NO ONE IS BETTER. I COULD NEVER TURN AGAINST HIM. SO IM GONNA NEED OTHERS TO DO IT FOR ME. Love his dog even tho i misgendered her but it wont happen again. Think we'll be close. reptiles stick together!!

WHEWIE. Okay I tried filming a video confessional, but my thoughts are such a mess, so I've decided writing it out will be considerably more coherent. YIKES SO. This season is already so wild, like this cast.... is gonna be a lot. I already can tell this season is going to have lots of fights and I don't know... how ready I am for that eeeek. But otherwise, my illiteracy means I don't understand the lottery twist so I love that. The returnee twist is fun though, like I feel like at the start of games, I go into panic mode, so having returnees I can go to about that, might make them feel like I'm an easy number and that they want to work with me? The people I knew before this season (like I'd actually spoken to): Bryce, Julia, Ashvika, Autumn & Olivia (I loosely knew Ricky, Blake & Sammy too) Within the game itself, the people I've had the best conversations with are Jose, Kat, Olivia, Ashvika & John. Olivia is like one of my favourite people in the community, and also a super good player so I'd love to work with her. I also think the fact that we are friends is something nobody in the cast should know (I think) so thats fun. Jose was such a big threat/player last season, and the vibe I get from him this time is he wants to tone that down? I'm not good at working with super cracked people, so him being slightly in the middle between UTR and cracked, will make him a super good person to work with I think. He is also the only person I've like...talked game with, even though its super limited, just that I wanna work with him. I'm a weirdo and watched all the Alola cast assessment stuff, and it sounds like Kat was playing really well, but got stuck in a funky position and couldn't recover, so I think she is gonna be a major threat this time and I'd love to work with her too woooo. Ashvika is a queen. Just plain and simple. She is so wholesome and nice, and already seems loosely on the same page as me, so thats iconic. John scares me ajkhsdfaslf. i think he is a total newbie, and I also think he is gonna get super cracked, and thats.... scary asdkjflas Dennis I just started talking to properly, he is in my timezone-ish, so that will be good for my sleeping pattern if he ever wins HoH or anything, but I worry he may struggle to make connections, so I'm not sure how much he can help me as an ally? The others I'm gonna try and do more rapid fire, since this confessional is already massive hjkasdflsaf: Alivia: Really really nice! We haven't spoken all that much, but she seems super friendly and she was really loyal in Unova, which makes me feel good about maybe working with her? Also Ali in the name? we love legends Ricky: Ricky is.... an interesting one ljaksdfla. He is a fun personality to have around, so I hope he sticks around. I'm not sure how invested he will be in any of these games, but I hope he gives it a good go woo Randy: Randy is gonna be such a threat already I can tell sahkjfdla Also he lowkey scares me, because whenever I would start pm'ing people on call yesterday, he would run to my pms asking why I wasnt pm'ing him which freaked me out sjkadflas. He seems fun though, and Dom stans him so we stan Julia (The Witch): An icon. A legend. An inspiration. Also terrifying skjahdfla. She mentioned all stars on call yesterday and my heart stopped, because I hated how I was in that game and dont want it talked about. I think she is gonna fight people and I don't especially want to get on her bad side! Roxy: Havent spoken to her much, it might be tricky talking to her, since we are both in weird timezones, we will see Bryce: A SWEETHEART. I love Bryce soo much. We worked together in a mini once, and it was super fun, so I'd love to work with him more. Zeezo: She seems super nice! I don't really know her, beyond that she is POVzo and probably a comp threat, but I think she will be fun. I know her and Bryce are friends so we will see where that goes jahdfka Sammy: Super nice! I loosely know him, but he seems like he will be good fun. I havent spoken to him much, so I hope he is gonna be active rip Lynn: I know of her from Moheli, and I know her and Blake were ride or dies which I am wary off.... Otherwise, she has been super quiet and I could see her.... potentially going early rip a queen Saxon: FUDGE. I havent spoken to him at all which is scary, since I feel like he probably already knows a lot of this cast, so if he wins RIP me I guess. Otherwise, he seems like a fun personality so wooo Jelaminah: Ummm. She is wild. Like really wild. I think I stan her, but I also am like.... concious that she is a lot, and its sometimes too much for me. I'm a bit annoyed by her tbh, but its just because she was like laughing at people's sexualities, as if she didnt believe them, and thats super ugly, but I couldn't exactly say anything to her. I think she is gonna be a super dominant personality, but whew we will see. Blake: I know he was a big player in Moheli, but I think he also rubbed people the wrong way.... We will see how he does, he seems iconic Autumn: A QUEEN. She is the most inactive so far which is worrying. I don't want her to go early. I could really see her going up this week, but maybe us two havent talked much, since she is just comfortable in our relationship? AND WHEW. Thats everything, if anyone read this, I love you for that. Otherwise, wooo I'm super nervous, I love my DR guests Owen and Emily and eek. We will see!

ahhh okay so, I’m super excited about meeting new people....BUT...this cast is so huge and I’m so nervous. I like everyone for the most part and I’ve been trying to like talk to some people I’ve played with in the past to maybe smoothe over some bad relationships? The only person I’m still like nervous about is Julia because she kills the straight men and she hates Gemini’s. AND WHAT AM I? A STRAIGHT MALE GEMINI. I don’t think she’s very good at comps tho and I know she would go for Bryce before me. Anyway I seriously love Kat because she is so genuine and I just want to work with her. Also I want to work with alivia, roxy, zeezo, Olivia, randy, Jela, ricky, and autumn! There’s a few others as well but I’ll prob do like a video DR and talk about how I feel about everyone...who knows.

Jose is officially my showmance and we stan asjdkfaslf. He is so nice and my favourite new person I've met in the cast anyway, and he won lots of comps last season so I'm ready for him to drag me to the end dlakjfasfa.

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bryce better not fucking put me up or i'm gonna SHOOT

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wow so happy bryce is HoH!!!! perfect week one :$

I am actually really happy that bryce won this HOH bc that means my ass hole is safe! PRaise BE. MY showmance that was made by ALIVIA has saved my ass and partly to me sorta already knowing him through tara! BITHCH TARA LOLOVE UR ASSSS. ANd shoot idk what these gays are lookin at but ppl be sayin they think im cute. maybe its like when i look at a potato or like a waffle fry?? who knows ahaha but like some of these boys be good lookin like damn. hit me and my crocs up boys ;P

I am not a bottom. ya dumb bitch

Bryce is nomming me for not playing in the hoh. Gurl gurl im not a newb who would buy up that excuse

Just say we arent alligned and im good with the other players and id belive you why would i buy that you, a player whose played a few games by now, would nom someone for abstainimg

Okay SO. I filmed a video confessional earlier, but its already super out of date so its time for an update! I have spoken to lots of people that I hadn't talked to since premiere night which is good, Alivia & Kat are so nice! Jose is, as always a king, and I think (other than Olivia) he is my closest ally rn, so woo we stan. Otherwise, I spoke to Bryce, and it seems like (praise be), I'm not getting nominated, WOO! He says he is nominating Roxy/Autumn, with Julia getting the future shock thingie. Like I told him, the future shock is kind of like a curse and we know Julia loves a good curse, so its a good matchup aljdfkas. Otherwise, these nominations make sense. I LOVE Autumn, but she has been the quietest person in the cast, so I assume she is gonna go first rip. Roxy I have spoken to a fair bit, but I know she is in a funky timezone, which probably throws off her ability to be active. Bryce seemed like he was being pretty open with me, so I hope I'm not the backup plan if somebody comes off. I feel like my social game is pretty strong so I wouldnt have thought people in the house would push for me as a renom and eI'd be suprised if I get nominated! Last but not least, the unfortunate thing is how MENINIST these nominations are akjsdfla, we are really putting the orre in discriminatorrey.

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First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally like looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1. Until then I'm going to spend my time with investments that are bound to pay off. Which are with the newbies. I've been spending a lot of time on Blake because Blake lives 20 minutes away from me. I'm trying to hold this down as secret as possible. He likes me, and I want to work with him so I'm just going to continue our friendship and ensure that we're a duo. He doesn't talk a lot in the housechat which is concerning to me, but he does hold very strong one on one relations with most of the house. Lynn is also a south carolina native, and she is just so infectious. She is very intimidated by the large cast meaning that she hasnt bonded that well with a lot of people. So i put two and two together and made a South Carolina alliance. I know Blake is genuine about it. But the main purpose of this alliance is to keep Lynn under my sphere of influence. I can't have no newbies on my side. No ma'am Another newbie who stands out for me is John. John is just really active, and such a social threat. Meaning that his word has saying. So far my relationship with him has been "hey let literally help you with anything and expect nothing in return". With him im trying to show myself as a puppet, or somebody who is very very useful with him. And I actually showed that this week when Bryce won HOH. Won't lie I didnt want but also wanted HOH at the same time. When Bryce won it I was very wary of what was going to happen. Then John comes up to me saying that Bryce is thinking of nominating him. And since I had a decent bond with Bryce I know that I had to save John. So when Bryce talked to me he was dead set as Roxy as the initial nom and target, and Julia for safety this week. Then he mentioned that he was on the fence because he didnt know if he wanted Autumn or John nominated. So I told him the truth that it would be silly to nominate somebody as active as John. And so John wasn't nominated. I stuck my neck out for John and was one of the reasons he isn't nominated this week. And these game things build genuine trust since I'm not just talking to talk. I'm walking to walk and this game isn't ready for Randyy.

Hello ladies and gentlemen you're looking at the first nominee of the season waysup

Imma get to the bottom of this so ain't even worried. I just feel bad y'all didn't even get one happy confessional from me. We just jumped straight into poppin off. That's ok though! Nice for what am i rite

Bryce is full of shit and I'm embarrassed for him. Like who makes an enemy out of me on Day fucking 3? Really my guy? That's the first thing you thought of when you had 19 people to pick from? Apparently I'm getting nominated because the other 18 people in the cast talked to Bryce yesterday and I didn't. Not only do I not buy that, but we just not gonna acknowledge the fact that I talked to him on 2 of the 3 days the game has been going on so far? K cool. Today we learned unless Bryce feels like the prettiest girl at the dance every minute of every day, you're not doing enough Also can we talk about how the "I'm so happy to play with you I always root for you" energy that Bryce was selling to me on day one didn't even last a round? Hiigghkey I feel like the people who know me in the cast are secretly happy cause they know I'm petty enough to take Bryce out and I'll have no problem taking the fall for it. Ali, Ashvika, Sammy, Julia, Olivia- they know I don't play that shit. Can you imagine being first HOH, using it on me, and then thinking I'm not mad at you because I "understand" that nominating me was "the easiest thing to do"?

SHIT YOUR BOI JUST DID THAT TONIGHT! IF U KNOW YOU KNOW. 😜😂

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CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

woo I'm on call with Autumn, Sammy, Jela & Dennis. THEY ARE SO FUN. I am back on the Jela stan train, she is actually super nice! I think I want Autumn to stay this week (and I think she could too)! Roxy is super sweet, but Autumn is a queen and the queen stays queen! Oh, I'm not using the veto too, its way too early to make a move and I don't know who would go up instead. I'm still SHRIEKING that I won that veto somehow kjlasdfa

CLICK HERE TO SEE RANDY’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

[5/9/18, 2:45:32 PM] Blake Sanders: do you want money?? [5/9/18, 2:45:41 PM] Blake Sanders: BC THE MONEY WANTS YOU! [5/9/18, 2:45:43 PM] alivia: do you wanna be rich??? [5/9/18, 2:45:53 PM] Blake Sanders: ^^^^^^ RICH [5/9/18, 2:45:58 PM] Blake Sanders: not just driving nice car rich [5/9/18, 2:46:07 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean using cheeta fur as toilet paper rich! [5/9/18, 2:46:15 PM] alivia: 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 [5/9/18, 2:48:20 PM] alivia: YOUVE BEEN HAND SELECTED [5/9/18, 2:48:31 PM] alivia: BECAUSE WE THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES [5/9/18, 3:07:19 PM] rixxy 🦄: Hi I just got off work [5/9/18, 3:07:23 PM] rixxy 🦄: what the FUCK is this? [5/9/18, 3:07:33 PM] alivia: DO YOU WANT MONEY??? [5/9/18, 3:07:52 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm scared but absolutely [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] Blake Sanders: FUCK YA! [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] alivia: WE WANT YOUR HELP SCAMMING THIS HOUSE! [5/9/18, 3:08:09 PM] alivia: it’s good to be a little scared [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: I definitely don't like where this is going. [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] Blake Sanders: MONEY WERE GOIN TO RULE THIS AND MAKE MONEY [5/9/18, 3:08:26 PM] Blake Sanders: BUT U WILL RIXXY [5/9/18, 3:08:31 PM] rixxy 🦄: god [5/9/18, 3:08:34 PM] Blake Sanders: <3 [5/9/18, 3:09:00 PM] lynnt: yes [5/9/18, 3:09:53 PM] alivia: you’re gonna be rich so you gotta live rich [5/9/18, 3:11:57 PM] Blake Sanders: There’s like a joining fee [5/9/18, 3:12:01 PM] alivia: yep [5/9/18, 3:12:09 PM] alivia: like scientology [5/9/18, 3:12:21 PM] alivia: but like this is real [5/9/18, 3:12:56 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm not paying for this [5/9/18, 3:13:01 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this like a legit game thing? [5/9/18, 3:13:03 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc [5/9/18, 3:13:07 PM] lynnt: then imma opt out b/c this rich bitch is cheap and that’s why i’m rich [5/9/18, 3:13:55 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean we legit love u guys [5/9/18, 3:14:07 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this an alliance [5/9/18, 3:14:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc i'm uncomfortable and confused [5/9/18, 3:14:35 PM] alivia: woah woah woah [5/9/18, 3:14:41 PM] alivia: everyone calm down [5/9/18, 3:15:09 PM] alivia: don’t worry about the money. you can pay the joining fee AFTER we’re rich [5/9/18, 3:15:15 PM] alivia: don’t worry [5/9/18, 3:15:16 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i'm actually having an anxiety attack can you RATMEME.PNG literally..... WHAT???? blake and i were talking and started joking about being scammers bc sdfkal and then i was like "we should start a scammer alliance" and that's how it all started. we thought it would be SO funny if we just added them to a chat and started trolling them about scamming houseguests out of their money dljgdkfjg and i thought MAYBE lynn and ricky would be confused at first but ricky literally lost his mind like ooops my bad WE THOUGHT WE WERE FUNNY BUT I GAS NOT. [5/9/18, 3:16:08 PM] alivia: it’s a joke but kind of an alliance [5/9/18, 3:16:21 PM] alivia: but mostly a joke [5/9/18, 3:16:44 PM] rixxy 🦄: i literally thought i got dragged into some kind of game twist and i wouldn't play my own game god [5/9/18, 3:17:08 PM] alivia: omg WHAT [5/9/18, 3:17:19 PM] alivia: LITERALLY THE BIGGEST JOKE NOT SERIOUS [5/9/18, 3:17:25 PM] alivia: IMSORFY [5/9/18, 3:17:28 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i thought it was some saboteur/team america bullshit [5/9/18, 3:17:35 PM] alivia: omg noooo [5/9/18, 3:17:42 PM] rixxy 🦄: all i want to do is play the game and i literally thought that was snatched from me [5/9/18, 3:17:50 PM] alivia: HOW??? [5/9/18, 3:18:17 PM] rixxy 🦄: idk i thought y'all were a twist sdksksksksks sdfjsdl wow fuck me i gas??? my social game is really off to a great start!!! gotta get ricky outta here asap now

Right now i am on CAll with SAMMY SAM bc im bad at talking to multiple people at a time! SOOOOOO SAMMY is like wanting to be ym ally but like do i trust his ass??

CLICK HERE TO SEE JOSE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okayyyyy so this is definitely something different like bb is hard tbh. there's too many people to talk to and i just really don't care about continuing to keep up a convo with some of them but you have to or bye bye. i have definitely not been as social as most and that is def scary but the people that i have talked to and made connections are super nice. so that's why i was so glad when the people that won HOH and POV are people i talked to. uuhHHuh i have no fucking clue who i want to evict tonight so that's fun! ya know autumn is super nice and chill but she did go dark for a while and roxy is super fun and i still haven't heard ANY singing and i want to and she is campaigning really hard so she really wants to stay BUT since she's campaigning so hard to stay and kinda saying anything to EVERYONE who knows what she'll do to stay in the game later on. idk is it too early to be thinking about later in the game?? idkkk thanks for coming to my rambling ted talk. find out next time on if i've decided.

CLICK HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

OK SOOOO the eviction is coming up tonight and its either going to be Autumn or Roxy! NOw autumn is a super sweet queen but i feel like she will kill me if need be! but i still lvoe her! now roxy she is fighting for her life like she is making me promises i think she will not be able to keep. bc ive heard form other hosue guests she is making the same promises to them. NOW i love talkin to her about food and cooking but i feel awful that im most likely going to evict her! but o well it has to be done im glad its not me

i feel like i should give like a summary of like where i am with everyone and how i feel about them all before the first eviction! ALI: Well i first knew him because he reached out to me about a game he is gonna host. He like doesn't talk to me much which makes me nervous... I like him a lot but looks like we are just acquaintances atm. ALIVIA: OK I FREAKIN LOVE HER! SHE IS HILARIOUS! WE STARTED A ALLIANCE CHAT CALLED SCAMMERS R' US AND RICKY LEGIT FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND WE WERE ALL LIKE WTF JUST HAPPENED HE IS INSANE! i hope i get to work with her a lot during this game and talk about ice cream! But i do see her stabbing me in the back later on so ill prob strike first. LOVE YA ASHVIKA: now this girl is a goddess she is beauty and she is grace! we talk like avg and stuff we have small chats nothing about gamewise. I see her as not being a threat as in targeting people or winning HOH i see her as a social threat. I think she will go far but not win she will def be jury. I think she is amazing tho and shes a model soo like i want to be her. AUTUMN: Now Autumn is a delight to be around so sweet and seems so pure but she will kill me i just know it. She's the beautiful flower in the garden that turns into a man eating plant <3 she is temptation and i may fall for it BLAKE: ive been told i was a certified good boy BRYCE: Now i knew him b4 this game bc of my friend TARA LOVE YOU BITCH <3 ! i think he will keep me around but idk if our bond is tight enough. i dont think he will choose to evict me yet. but other thsn that i want to work on having a closer bond with him for sure! DENNIS: I like dennis he just iidk theres not alot to say? me adn him talk about video games and stuff but whenever i talk to him i like forget like why im talkin to him lol! but he is super chill! JELAMINAH: THIS WOMAN <3 IS AMAZINGLY FUNNYY! SHE IS ONE PERSONALITY I WANT TO GET ON MY SIDE~! she is hilarious amd an amazing person i want to work with her sooo bad! i talk to her in oms sometimes but she is more of a on call person i believe or she just doesn't wanna talk to me ahah . O AND JELA I TAKE BACK TO WHO I THINK THE CUTEST BOY HERE IS ! JOHN : I love john! me and him talk trash about random things and it is hilarious! i hope he feels as close to me as i am to him! i feel like we can work together in the long run. JOSE: Ive only talked to Jose just a little bit so im worried if he ever wins HOH bc i may be nominated! so i better get my ass into high gear and talk to him more. other than that i remebr him as the guy who someone hit his fence with a car. JULIA: NOW i have heard things about this girl! like that she is ana amzing player and i better watch out for her! IM SO SORRY JULIA BUT U R ON MY HITLIST! AND SADLY U NEVER U LEFT ME ON READ IN MY PMS RUDE~! KAT:I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT KAT BUT WE JUST STARTED TALKING TODAY AND WE HELPED names each others plants! she is a precious person and i love her! she is so funny! i want to work with her for this game! LYNN: YALL THIS IS MY BITCH ! I LOVE YOU LYNN WE PLAYED IN MOHELI TOGETHER AND AFTER THAT IT WAS HISTORY WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS VISITING EACH OTHER AND STUFF! SHE ONLY LIED 2 HOURS FROM ME WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL I SAW HER ALL THE TIME! I AM MOST DEF WORKING WITH HER! SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND! <3 LOVE U OLIVIA: OK WELL IDK MUCH bout her. ummmm i talked to her a little im ttrying to become her ally but its not really workign she wont talk to meee!! RANDY: omg i have not heard good things about him.... i shouldve been told these things sooner omg! i feel like he hates me he might! we live in the same city and live like 15 mins away! omg rip rip rip . he goes to my old highdchool! thats crazy af! im working wiht him rn but i i think im going to nom him in the middle of the game or try to get him out around then. sorry randy! also hes been giving me the cold shoulder and not talkin to me which is rude. adnwe r in an alliance chat bro. come on really... RICKY: TBh u annoy me. everything i like u say its dumb or u don't like it. i say goodmorning/afternoon to u adn u say its morning its not even close to afternoon whatre u doing. AND IM LIKE WTF HAV U NEVER HEARD OF TIMEZONES! LIKE HELLLLLO! damn just we are not compatible people and well if i ever win HOH ill prob nom him. ROXY: DAMN BITCH I CAUGHT U IN A LIE AND U DONT KNOW ABOUT IT! THIS IS THE REAOSN IM VOTIN TO EVICT U IM SORRY OMG IM GOIN TO MISS TALKIN TO U ABOUT FOOD! ur sooo sweet omg and u hav a lovely voice! SAMMY: I have been told not to trust him bc he is a snake. But shit he is one of my closest allies now! like we talked for hours on call and watched survivor it was such a cute little date! GOD i hope he doesnt betray me ill cry so much! i mean he might but like i dont wanna back stab him.... yet <3 SAXON: who r u?? talked like never. ur probably nice?? ZEEZO: Girl u be freakin lynn out with eveyrhting u saying to and about her! soo idk like aht to do wiht u ahahah prob get u nominated?? SORRY IM A LOSER AND DIDNT MAKE A VID I LOOK LIKE A THUMB ATM <3

what bitch Randy, 3:05 PM hola 3:05 PM you never sent me a pm Randy, 3:05 PM ur coll bc you aint never talk about interesting shit 3:05 PM uh huh Randy, 3:05 PM tf am i supposed to reply to "yea" 3:06 PM sorry I'm not your source of entertainment you twink I was busy with my life Randy, 3:06 PM wow this is something we can TALK ABOUT Randy, 3:06 PM what did you do I kinda snapped sorry Randy

Are u gonnaget ur tattoo coloured? :0 or will it be lines? Rn im hungry waiting for ma burger heh 9:21 PM It’s just lines henny 👑, 9:23 PM Sweet! What inspires the one u chose? 👑, 6:35 AM Hey saxon! I wanted to wait to speak to you in person but im tired and sorta not feeling well so i cant stay up. I wouls love it id you vote me to stay!! I really enjoy this game and im a p loyal ally! Im active and have jackbox too xd. Ill try be up at least 2 hours bfr eviction if you wanna chat about the vote! 👑, 3:03 PM Morning 3:03 PM Hiya 👑, 3:03 PM Hows it going? 3:04 PM fine busy 👑, 3:04 PM Ripp with what m? 3:05 PM a 5 page paper 👑, 3:06 PM Ew Wtf 3:06 PM ye 👑, 3:06 PM Just quit school. Death sound sbetter than that Hshsbs 3:10 PM i omg 👑, 3:11 PM Lmfao Man now my eviction worries seem meaningless 3:14 PM Why is that? 👑, 3:15 PM :o cause your 5 page thing is gross :o have you started on it or still got a ways to go? 3:20 PM I still got a ways to go 👑, 3:20 PM yikes 👑, 3:20 PM how are you feeling about this week? like hame wise Roxy I think you're a lovely person but holy fuck can you just please shut up sometimes when you know someone is busy

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 1 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 2 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

I'd say it was an effective campaign xoxo Summer Shrek

CAST ASSESSMENT

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WEEK 1 CAST ASSESSMENT!

#episode #bborre

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