#ive got a charm of him on my backpack <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[hiding-under-the-willow]

How does Ren's body wander around the house? Does it have a mind of it's own or is it ghost logic?

In the show there's a decapitated character who's body behaves in the same way and it's kind of generally unclear there? It mostly seems to wander mindlessly around but on rare occasions the show seems to imply it has some kind of sense of consciousness outside of it's connection to the mind it's been detached from. It struggles when tackled to try to reattach the head and at one point carries out a secret affair with one of the other ghosts that the head isn't aware of and that the body does, in some way, seem to be actively contributing to??? If my memory serves?? So yeah I think generally the level of consciousness was just left up to whatever the writers thought was funniest in the episode at hand.

In the au i think I'll generally just lean more towards just like. Mindless wandering. But I too will leave it open to comedic possibilities 🤷

[chasedeys]

i saw @cazluvsu make one and i decided to do one!!! and yap about it too lmao

i fear they are. my life now. truly how.

bengals. how can i even begin to explain them. joemarr. but outside of the joemarr of it all. all these fucking men outside of these two who have somehow managed to just. their entire fucking roster. tee fucking higgins. trey. their 23 rookies room. the new rookies. and their insane fucking lack of pr training. their vets. the idea that i have to let go of mike hilton. and joseph ossai. and bj hill. and everyone else. the hell is that. never in my life did i think i'd care for shit like this. anyways may i direct you to my pinned and my live blogging to see what i mean or smth idk. this entire blog is my thesis for my love for them.

oh my heart.............

vikings. aaaaaaaaaaa. yes it was because of beloved pretty perfect pr princess justin jefferson. but then....koc. i didnt even fucking KNOW coaches moved this way 😭. the way i want to. write them fucking. but also. holding hands and living in a bayou together. and sams shit. and like. i watched their social media stuff. and sure i never really got into their roster the way i got into like. the bengals and i don't think i ever will but like. jesus. they're so fucking charming truly every tiktok featuring josh's tiny ass mic is a treat because like. that segment on what's the weirdest shit in your locker and its truly weird like my coach is hotter than your coach mug and the hawk statue and the naruto (?) backpack instead of fucking months old cornbread rotting in the back. thats some good shit. also i think their locker room is the best LMAOOO actual healthy lighting that doesn't sting the eyes and they have like a little fireplace??? its so cute they sometimes plop down there and do their mini mic interviews there aww. also cams cellyssss that have gone viral as hell. cuteeee.

lions. i get that like it's like so weird to deeply adore teams from the same division but please look away 😭 god i blame casey for this they're soooo <33333 jah and montyyyy they're so cute hello. hello how can i not adore them 😭 jamooo and amon ra who speaks like 10 billion languages no that's an exaggeration sorry but like. my thing for wrs and also he's suchhh a bitch and when people get so fucking annoyed about it i get 😭😭 and also enamored by jared goffs like. 0 aura and miniscule charm lmao. that interview clip of him getting bracketed by jah and monty lmao and TERRIONNNNN fuck. i knew NOTHING about him BUT??? he's so???? that rookie dumbassery charm 😭😭😭😭 thank you casey for putting me on the lions and sending me that clip of him falling down the fucking stairs and taking a MOMENT to contemplate his life on the bottom steps lmfao oh my god......and dj reader augughguhg i miss you.....come back but like.....i don't suppose you will......

ravens. again....division rivals aside.......lamar jackson........derrick henry.........ive written my thoughts on them lmaoooo oh but i need to learn more of their roster </3 don't fw their defense i can't lie LMAOOO but like. kyles a cutieee auguhguhg and marlons tweets on his cat being a MAN have been truly hilarious. looking very much in anger when facing the bengals though 😀 the multifacetedness of like. sports watching and rpf. which. is multifacetedness a word which word is the correct word sorry idk but basically. oh my heart is correct for this tiers title 😭. its so fucking funny im sorry they're all in the same afc nfc north division what the hell am i on about. i think this could be like. the tier below too? but like. i know exactly how i know them and how they've bewitched me 😭 thinking again the lines between this tier and below. are blurred. but anywAYSSSS.

not but how. do i know them. how have they bewitched me.

cowboys, panthers, texans. right so the reason they're not the tier below is because i ship a whole lot of them. cowboys jesusssss micah/tre oh my god. ceedak. well i know only these 4 clearly but like. they're soooo. i read a micah/tre fic of just. insanity. am patiently waiting for a chapter 2 truly adore micah and trevon (WHO'S SO FUCKING PRETTY BTW.....so pretty........so confused on how people say he's not as pretty as stef. diff type of pretty but PRETTY NONETHELESSS how. the fuck. am i not looking at the same person or. 😭😭) <3 and ceedak! though i don't fw their fics in ao3 mostly because its doused in infidelity and i am just. not that. i do fw them soooo well goddd just did a whole spiel with casey abt them and joemarr bc of the pfw aus tennis open thing that was fun <3 and panthers bryceeee i adore himmm bryce/cj bryce/andy insanity and like. xavier who's soooo fucking charming and the rest of their roster who im still learning. that you leave that baby alone clip 😭 cute as hellll dare i say their oline would burn the earth down for him etc etc. and texans!!! cj babyyyy and stef.....truly his insane lore. to this day still being written holy shit he just can't help himself can he 😭 will he be at the weddi- ANYWAYS. tank and joe mix. derek stingley jr lsu bb whose one single comment on ja'marr's ig that one time endeared himself so firmly to me too etc etc. begging for a probowl interaction bless. so anyways. tier of their own <3

👉👈 1-2 have enamored me i fear

giants, commanders, jaguars. grouping these three together yeah you guessed it because of the 2023 lsu trio soulmatism lmaoooo. truly the only reason they're in this tier sorry 😭 god jayden/malik are so. and btj who's the only one ja'marr hasn't followed back apparently 😭 what is in the waters in louisianaaaa but anyways isn't it so fucking cute how malik and btj came to jaydens first playoffs game like....are u fucking serious......nevermind how maliks literally divisional rivals 😭 SOOOO compelling how they're drafted in the same division btw LMAOOOO playing each other twice.....Nice.....the Narratives of like. the giants possibly drafting A Very Nice Very Good Very Handsome Very Insane QB that might replace the shit out of jayden is like. hm. hhmhmhmm. i have. Thoughts (didn't shedeur throw with malik in the middle of the street at night lmao). BUT ANYWAYS. moving on. ALSO. like. there's that clip of jayden bullshitting on how he's faster than malik and btj and the two scoffingggg 😭 REMINDS ME OF HOW joemarr shits on each others speed sm does he shit on justins too im sure he does god that's cuteee what is WITH qbs and their wrs and shitting on each others speed ANYWAYS AUGHGHG SORRY-

browns, steelers. divisional rivals which is mostly why im so taken with them i can't lie lmaoooo. like. something so prideful about being from the afc north idk. and like. saying shit like 'thats afc north football babyyy'. snow game like i even understand what snow feels like lmaooo. the fighting dirty aspect that pisses me off and honestly delights me at times except how it doesn't bc like where the fuck is our (bengals) defense. where the fuck is it. anyways opoy being 2 from the bengals 2 from the ravens?? amazing. dpoy having one from bengals, browns, and steelers. mvp from bengals and ravens. like that's so. the fact that no one from this fucking division has one division champ for three straight years (and browns has won. none. which. well.) which is fucking. ridiculous. i am so fucking done with this division goddddd. but like. so heavily enamored truly <3 also i adoreeee grant delpit 😭 because of lsu. and that ja'marr and him started commenting on each other's ig again after the game that's like. so cute. to me. G mf $.....yeahyeah thats hard........cute as hell how old are you two...........let me keep you.............and also najee harris <3 top three beautiful nfl men (with ceedee and fred, excluding my bias of joemarr 😔)

chargers. blame their social media presence truly UNMATCHED. daiyan henley........hand in marriage. right the fuck now. no really. their kicker is cute as hell, justin herberts refusal to like. appear in camera is charming to me i can't lie, their team's chemistry is honestly so cute! wish i knew more to actually like. know more abt them lmao. but again. their tiktok videos. unmatched. if the bengals and the rest of the nfl PLEASE learn from them......

bills, eagles, niners, dolphins. casually-ish? beautiful men and rpf standpoint RIPE with it. stosh.....😭 keon coleman my beloved how are uuuuu lmaoo. aj brown ehehehehe i do think i ship him with jalen idk they're cute as hell the book thing is still so fucking hilarioussss HOW do they keep digging themselves a hole making people doubt their friendship is the thing 😭 jalen made a stupid joke how he's never once saw aj read and i do NOT think ANYONE LAUGHEDDDDD meanwhile aj (whos fucking gorgeousssss btw oh my god. oh my god...) showed a reporter his lovingly underlined and highlighted book and it got sold out im crying they are not real people akdkljkslf they KEEP putting themselves in these Situations also devonta smith who looks all but 12 oh my god and saquon <3 who's fucking gorgeoussss with his dangly earringggggggg aaaaaaaa love me a man with a dangly earring. also sydney lol i suppose he'll get a ring first (wink wink nudge nudge but aggresively FLY EAGLES FLYYYYY!!). and niners frock <3 fred warner beautiful gorgeous fred warner and brock purdys insane loreeeee. i also got enamored by deebo lmaooo he's so fucking 😭 girl learn whennn toooo shutttt the fuckkkk uppppp 😭 god that was. his shit was so. ANYWAYS. dolphins tuaaaa!! do you know that tiktok of like people reacting to him running and sliding after he returned from his concussion ir 😭 crying. another coachfucker btw.....hilariousss to be typing this abt tua bc in my head he's wayyyy softer abt it than jjkoc 😭 mike augugughhh he's also like. very endearing. and speaks in a very 'girl are u high' manner. the way he reacted to news of people dressing up as him was hilarioussss.

idrk them tbh

broncos, seahawks, packers, titans, jets, rams, bucs, bears, raiders, cardinals, falcons, saints, patriots, colts. i don't really know them 😭 like i do know several players on them and like am enamored by a lot of them! but like. that's it. no vesting interest. idk. bo nix, ps2, dk, jaire alexander, jordan love, tb and chido ofc i misssss them ugh, davante, sauce, garrett, puka, caleb and rome, maxx, kyle murray ig, jb3 whom i also misssss wow, oh clyde, etc etc etcccc. not much vesting interest? other than like. oh you're gorgeous oh you're talented oh hey i follow you oh hey ja'marr likes you (lmao) but then. well.

why is there hate in my heart.............

chiefs. ..............look. i swear. LOOK. GODDDDD. i swear. i did NOT hate them 😭 even that second game. i was like. holy shit. isiah pachecos fucking. gorgeous. damn. (see: my ja'marr/pacheco thoughts.....that i still think to this fucking day 😔) i didnt even think i could find it in me to be an actual sports fan that could hate a team BUT THEN. 0 to fucking 38. i don't even care if it was against third strings that shit is DIABOLICAL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 hate. hateee in my fucking heart. travis coming up in his fuckass podcast (i like jason btw 👉👈) how he'd play them in a walmart parking lot and that shit had me in tears they WOULD is the thing 😭 ja'marr would honest-to-god organize that shit himself 😭 god. godddd i can't even. but anyways. rpf standpoint......😔👍 compelling. and the recent game. ehEM. anyways...fuck the chiefs............

anyways. what brought this on. who even knowssssssss.

[chocojjk]

Rain

“ohhh i would love to request something hmm okay let's see ideal date well how about a coffee shop date with my boi han from skz ? idc if it cliche (i love cliche ovjoijve)”

summary: barista! jisung x reader 

words: 1k

a/n: this was originally just going to be a date scenario but i felt a little inspired so now it’s an au lol. not edited, per usual. 

hope you guys enjoy it !

well, you asked for cliche

and ive been wanting to do a barista! au 

so... here we go 

its 12 am 

it was raining 

and the cherry on top of it all 

you had nothing protecting you from it, 

not an umbrella,,

not even a jacket 

and so you use your backpack as your shield from the harsh rain that was pouring harder and harder with every step you took

running into the first building you see, you find yourself in a coffee shop, quietly cursing to yourself as water pools around you 

“you look like youre having a rough time,” the boy giggles from behind the counter 

“tell me about it,” you sigh, frustrated at how your clothes kept sticking to your skin 

he disappears in the back for a bit as you lay your stuff down on an empty table  

no one was in the shop  and all you wanted to do was cry  

frustrated at everything that was currently happening  

and so you did  

you quietly broke down, still keeping in mind that you weren’t completely alone 

“maybe this could help,” the boy says 

“huh,” you say looking at him as you desperately try to wipe your tears away, embarrassed that he caught you  

and then you finally take notice of what he has held out for you 

a sweater and some sweats 

you cant help but let out a giggle at how unusual this situation is  

“are you sure its okay?” you ask quietly  

all he does is take your hand and lay his clothes on top of it  

“the bathroom is at the back, take your time” 

“thank you..umm,”  you look at his name tag “minho” 

“huh?!??” he says, a confused look on his face before it finally registers in his mind that he isn’t wearing his name tag and he lets out the prettiest laugh you swore you’ve ever heard  

“oh no! my names jisung haha, sorry my friend and i switched name tags today because we were bored,” he says, frantically explaining 

you giggle at his sudden outburst before excusing yourself to the bathroom to change 

his clothes were way too big on you, and you honestly look too funny but you were so thankful that you didnt have to deal with the wet clothes

making your way back out, you look out the window, noticing that the rain hasn’t stopped and it didn’t look like it was going to any soon  

the puddle of water you left behind was nowhere to be seen, all thanks to brown haired boy  

you notice jisung making a drink and you make your way over to him, starting a conversation  “are you guys always open this late?”  

“well, i was actually just about to close the shop but then you walked in,”  

“oh,” your eyes widen, “omygod, im so sorry!” you exclaim, making your way to your bag and mentally preparing yourself to step out back into the rain 

“where are you going?” 

“aren’t you going to close?” you ask  

“i already did,” he says pointing to the sign through the glass door 

“cmon, i made some coffee if you would like some” you make your way back towards him “are you allowed to do this?” 

“no but my parents own the store and im sure they’ll be more upset at me for making someone as pretty as you walk out in the rain at this hour 

your heart flutters at the boys comment  

giving him a smile, you take the seat in front of him 

“so, why are you out here at this hour?” 

“well,, i was studying for my midterms at the library down the street and completely lost track of time” 

“but that library closed like 3 hours ago?” 

“yeah, i got locked in, had to call someone to get me out,” you sigh  

he laughs  

that same beautiful laugh  

“i think thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all week,”  

“well im glad someone finds my pain enjoyable,” you retort, giggling along with him  

“do you want to talk to someone about it, i heard it really helps,” 

“hmm, not really but thank you,” you reply honestly 

“ok then, how about we play a game instead ?” 

“what do you have in mind??” 

“uhhhh, 20 questions?” he suggests and you roll your eyes 

“oh you’re one of those guys,” you teasingly say, a smirk making its way on your face  

“huh???” he says genuinely confused  

“you charm your way into people’s hearts just to play 20 questions,”  

you laugh  

not a small little giggle, but a genuine wholehearted laugh  

and jisung swears he’s never heard anything more beautiful  

“ok jisung, whats your favorite color?” 

for the next couple hours you guys just throw questions back and forth 

20 questions turning into 40 

until the whole thing was just scrapped away and you guys talk about anything and everything you could think of  

the rain has stopped but the both of you chose not to acknowledge it, enjoying each other’s company as much as you can  

and at 4am, your phone rings  

your alarm clock  

“omygod, i have class in 3 hours,” you say, surprised at how fast the time went  

“you wake up at 4am everyday?”  

“no but i was going to wake up a little earlier to squeeze in a bit of studying,” you say your shoulders slumping down as the stress of the exams start weighing on you once again 

“hey,” jisung says softly  you look up at him and all he does is ^^^(the gif above) 

you cant help but smile at the boys cute little antics  

“why dont you go home, squeeze in a little nap instead and freshen up yeah?”

“yeah, i should probably do that” you start packing your stuff away, slowly making yourself out  

“thank you for tonight jisung, i owe you a lot”  

he smiles at you, gummy smile and all  

“you can repay me by stopping by after your exam and telling me how it went?”  

“i was going to do that anyways to bring you back your clothes,” you say smiling at him 

“oh okay, then how about you repay me by letting me take you out on a date?” 

“omygod, you really are one of those guys,” you say laughing as he mirrors your actions 

“i’d love to go out on a date with you,” you reply  

“see you later?” 

“see you later.”  

[ofcowardiceandkings]

well i finally finished up THIS junk ive had sitting for ages lol

my boys !! my sweet d&d boys !!! (whoiveneverplayedoutsideoftheoinNWN...)

anyway though , half-orc barbarian halfing druid duo ,, powerful ? bit weird ? dont underestimate them though and also super dont hurt or insult one in the presence of the other or you WILL get punched or frostbit

for the most part ive just adopted them as d&d universe characters but theres a distinct possibility ill drop them into my campaigns as randos gfjdkjksdj

but ye, we have street clothes with and without cloaks // full clothes + armor :3

ill keep the extended chat under a cut but itsssssmaboysssss ;o;

okay yes dælan is a tweaked about version of daelan red tiger from NWN but listen ,, hes mine now ,, i decided that ever since i got cheesed he was the ONLYYYY non-romanceable henchman He Is Now Mine

anyway firstly i spent soooo much time on medieval & dark age reenactment clothing stores and i only want to wear them now ,, oh to have money ,, but for the most part i have based a lot of bits and bobs on viking / saxon / northern european clothing and equipment because Im A Nerd

and i homebrewed a bunch of stuff im applying to my campaigns so a little of these deets arent 5e standard material lmao bye

dælan (day-lan) is a dual wielding barbarian, chaotic good, path of the totem warrior (tiger), uthgardt background, he is an red tiger uthgardt tribe member but he left the cold woods after his mother died. he felt too watched and judged by the elder tribe members for being half-orc as orcs are the traditional ritual enemy of uthgardt barbarians and wanted to go and prove himself in the world ... he just has hide armor and a couple of axes with a few uthgardt runes carved into the handles, as well as a few javelins i havent drawn lol, the remaining pile of junk by him is his backpack of personal bits and pieces including leatherworking tools and knitting needles (théo taught him how to knit and he’s hooked now), waterskin, cooking pot, coin pouch, canvas tent, red blanket & a thick northern cow hide ,, his super out of place cloak pin is a gift from théo of an elder sprig >.>

théodardt (they-oh-dardt) is a lightfoot halfling from a hamlet near secomber, neutral good, circle of the land (grassland), HB farmer background, he had a quiet and good childhood growing up caring for the family’s animals and land but was so enamored by nature he struck out on his own to learn the ways of druids but quickly became tangled up with the adventuring types of the sword coast ... i had to do some hoop jumping and homebrewing to overcome my love of mail and his wearing it as a NWNPC while d&d lore says druids dont do metal armor, SO it is mail, edged with leather, but its made of horn (hence the swirls) 8), the rest of his junk is a seax (viking/saxon knife), a buckler with stone boss, his druidic focus (some jackdaw feathers between crude blue glass), his own backpack and pouches containing his herbalism kit, other bits of plant, and a bunch of spices, and a little hobbit-size nyckelharpa, a hanging tent/hammock, and a walking stick ,, his super out of place amulet is a gift from dælan of a traditional red tiger charm

they also travel with théo’s animal companion (fuk u 5e for taking that out)  mórríghan who IS a dire wolf, but is mostly kinda mushy, she would be a lapdog if she wasnt the size of a pony

phthbhtbhtbtb i love them theyre stupid

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[btspornfavor-blog]

A Detrimental Passion

Part IV || Part I | Part II | Part III

It was like the strike of the match, catching the side of the box but not quite lighting, only just giving off a tiny spark. 

A/N: This is long asf and I apologize if its not very good... 

                                                              --Week 3--

Today of all days.

As if Jin wasn’t already running late, the weather decided to take a turn for the worst and now it was pissing down the rain.  Not that he spent a ridiculous amount of time on grooming, because lets be honest, even on his worst day he managed to look like he stumbled graciously off Gucci’s F/W runway show.  And never once has he been tired of it. But the last thing he needed was the possibility of this day even going south. He spent months researching and preparing for this presentation, it needed to go well, it needed to go smoothly… it didn’t need him in damp clothing and rain matted hair standing in front of roughly 500 students, who were all equally rich and snobby as one another, although by the way they acted you’d never suspect any of them would be on the same planet.

'He got his sweater wet… can you believe?  My mom almost cried when I let my vicuna sweater get one droplet of water on it… I just insisted that if it was as ruined as she said it was, she could buy me a new one.’

He rolled his eyes at the fictional conversation playing out in his head, one girl whispering to another. Besides, this sweater was just cashmere… not vicuna. As if they’d actually know the difference anyways.  Grabbing an umbrella, he looked in the decorative mirror next to his front door, admiring his perfect appearance before it had the chance to be ruined. He clutched his backpack to the front of his body, bracing himself as he traveled down the hallway, down the stairs, and out into this shit-show type weather.

Why did he have to choose to live “close to the university, only in walking distance”.  The campus was large and spread out, and yes, he may be close to the buildings where his classes are, but his presentation wasn’t for his classes.  It was for much younger students.  He didn’t have much of a choice whether to present or not, and he kept a tight schedule due to working and school and wasn’t the type to break plans, especially when they came to academics.  Due to his major and his continuation onto med school, his internships and practicums and opportunities off campus came with the price of: spending all of his time working, most of the time that work being unpaid, having to pay to have the job, and also having to write countless papers on what he learned and have to share it with students within the university. 

 The study wasn’t even something that could be half-assed, which in all honesty, thats how he spent a lot of his time in his first few years of college. Blowing his way through classes to charm girls around him, and the other reason his parents weren’t so happy with: partying. This worked out well for Jin, because female professors were so caught up in his looks, and how calming his voice was, that he didn’t even have to try to ask for a later deadline. Even male professors had a thing for him.  Even if he turned in something late, it was above and beyond.  A lot more than professors were looking for, because it was much more than they could get out of the average student.

But Jin was never an average student anyways.  He was good looking, charming, and had the brains to match.  And he knew how to use each and every one of those things to get what he needed, when he needed it.  Not to say he wasn’t fair, or that he bribed people, because he really didn't have to do much. He was able to do it in a way where people couldn’t even ask themselves if he was just pulling some shit on them, because each person fell for him way too easily.

So when it came to the last year of his undergrad, he tried to put away the charms and really focus on what he needed to do to get into medical school, to get a nice scholarship and keep up that whole honors student facade without his parent’s relentless questioning about what he did over the weekend and just where he was last night and how many girls has it been now? It got tiring, and fast.  The change wasn’t fun but it was probably for the best. He went out less, studied more, did what he was supposed to do. Not that anyone really doubted him anyways.

But his latest study was still in progress, he’s only talking about the one he did before this one began, and how it will relate to this one and just where he’s wanting it to go.  This city is like a gigantic mess anyways, if theres anything worth doing here, its looking at the people around you, and definitely questioning their sanity. He’ll even be silently judging the students listening to his lecture today in the back of his mind, while they talk amongst themselves in loud whispers, about his appearance in some way.

Late, late late.  You chanted this word to yourself frantically as you grabbed your things, rushing to your appointment with your lawyer this week, the dreaded one of dividing up belongings. And of course, it just has to be raining.

You stood by the front door of your house, looking at a small table where you put things occasionally like mail, your keys, your purse... and of course. Umbrellas.  Either you were overlooking the thing in your frantic stress haze or it really wasn’t there.  And if it wasn’t there... then it would be in your car.  Which is great.  Because instead of just parking in the garage, you parked in your driveway. Which means you’ll have to run to your car in this monsoon without getting wet.  If only you could perform magic...

All you could even do was hope that your purse would do the job.

It worked well enough going out to your car, and going into your lawyer’s office required less walking time, which equals less time in the rain. You were dry save for the little bit of your shoulders and fronts of your jeans, and your purse was absolutely covered in water. You just had to hope that the leather (or faux leather whatever this even was) refused to absorb the crazy amount of water on it that way all of your old receipts and half used chapsticks could stay dry.  

As for the packets of divorce papers inside, you could care less. 

This meeting was ridiculous, if it was anything. All of your husband’s proposals were laughable. Every. Single. One.  Not really in the ‘this is silly’ kind of way but in the ‘what is your deal, are you 12?’ kind of way.  It was really a petty statement... and somehow strangely genius, and cruel. 

You were left to keep the house, the car, whatever was inside the house except his very own belongings, (as if you had any use for them anyways), and have a money allotment for his children obviously to help with their living expenses.  And you could’ve bargained for living money for you also, since you were used to a certain lifestyle at this point, but you barely cared. As long as he did something for your children.  But since he very blatantly refused to give you any money for yourself, without you even saying you wanted any to begin with, you were stuck to pay for the massive house you owned, the bills, the car, and anything else at all that you may need.

It was safe to say he had the money to replenish his losses, whether it be clothes or tv’s or a whole new house.  Probably even dinners and jewelry for his little twinkie. Definitely.  

That was the cruel part. He wanted his kids to live well of course, he loved them. He just wanted you to be miserable.  How could you even be happy? You were the one who wanted a divorce after all. He was the one who was ‘innocent’. And he was trying his hand a everything he could just to catch you off guard and make you seem unstable or unfit to be a single mom.  Trying to make you angry, trying to get you to yell at him, be late to pick up your kids, anything.  He was even trying to start fights over text just so he could have some evidence, but you’ve kept your cool this far.  And now that you were thinking about it, you looked at the clock as your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. 

No... you thought, watching as the minute hand swung around closing in on the 30 minute mark. You needed to pick up your kids. Maybe you were starting to lose your cool, starting to slip up a little after being so consumed with paper work and thoughts so angering that your line of vision would get a little fuzzy, and you had to stop or your teeth would start grinding together.  You were close to becoming the you he wanted you to be.  

But the hand moved slow, and so did your lawyer, taking his sweet time.  He was only paid by the hour.  If you didn’t have kids you probably would’ve gotten a cheap lawyer who wold have this whole ordeal done and over with in the first meeting, but you needed the best for your kids.  And you needed someone willing to go into great detail and make sure your husband wasn’t fucking you over anymore than he already did. So the guy moved slow. You were barely even through the cars part when you started to feel like you needed to just escape your body and leave it here in this office and go pick up your kids. Your blood was creeping through your veins faster than a bullet and you just wanted to scream Hurry up!, but you couldn’t. You needed to keep your cool.

Jin sighed as he picked up soccer balls in the gymnasium connecting to the clubhouse.  Looking out the open door, it seemed that today’s rain was relentless.  Although practice had ended about 30 minutes ago, he hadn’t bothered to change back into his nicer clothes, he was still wearing joggers and a hoodie and a baseball cap, all complimentary in color. He figured that his cashmere needed a break.  Of course his mom would always buy him a new one just like every other kid in this city, but at this point he liked to do things on his own.  Take care of his clothes like an adult and buy his own cashmere when he fucks this one up for real.  As if he didn’t have a section just for cashmere sweaters in his closet.

You however, were outside fighting the rain, so focused on the ground, making sure not to hit any big puddles on your way or even trip.  Lately you’ve had quite the time with injuries, no matter how easily they could be avoided. Keeping your head down as to block the angled rain from smacking you right in the face, you tried to reach the clubhouse as quickly as possible.  Why is it so damn far from the parking lot?

You pulled the door open quickly, your hair sticking to your face, rain dripping down your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, your clothes sticking to your skin, but you didn’t care.  You scanned the lobby area of the building, moved to the locker rooms, to the side, opening doors and shutting them quickly, your cold, wet hands sliding over the door handles struggling to get them open and closed fast enough. Maybe in the kitchen? With each room, you searched with nothing to be found and your worry grew more severe. If they were going to be anywhere, they’d be in this building somewhere.

But there weren’t a lot of rooms.  Lobby area, changing rooms, kitchen, and the connecting gym.  So you ran to the gym, pushing the bar to open the metal door and swinging it open loudly.  Of course they would be in here right? Its raining out, they would be having indoor practice. They had to be in here.

Except they weren’t.

But someone was.  The closet room door was open, noise coming from inside, and you could see the shadow of someone moving around against the door propped open by a wooden wedge.  No matter who it was, they could tell you something, right? So you dashed in that direction, your wet and water filled shoes squeaking against the waxed wooden floors, your feet sliding around with little traction inside.

“Where are they?” You almost screamed at him, and he jumped slightly, turning to look at you from his position opposite the room, placing supplies back on their rightful shelves. He was clearly startled, but somehow still beautiful, shoulders raised on instinct, deep brown eyes wide as can be.

“Who?” He asked, placing the cones back on the shelves neatly where they belonged, and not where he had managed to put them when your presence surprised him.

“My sons!” You’re beginning to get angry.  What does he mean ‘who’? ‘Who’ else would there even be? What did he think you were there for? Grabbing some soccer balls just for fun? You stood in the doorway, your hands balled into fists, beginning to lose your strong composure almost as soon as it overcame you. Your eyebrows were furrowed in worry and your bottom lip was beginning to do that dreadful thing where it begged you to let out a sob.

“They got picked up?” The look of confusion was still plastered all over his beautiful face. You hated how calm he was about this, as if your kids not being here wasn’t his problem when you specifically remember him telling you that it would be okay if you were late sometimes, granting how busy your schedule was.

“Picked up?” Your voice was almost a whisper, squeaking at the last word. You could feel the tears brimming in your eyes, full of absolute fear. You always pick them up. You do. You always have. That was your job.  The mom to always be there on time, never late, only you.

“Yeah? Their dad picked them up, I believe.”

And then it hit you. Of course, he was picking them up.  It was part of the deal now, he got his time with them. They would be at his place tonight.  The fear faded away almost as quickly as it came and replaced itself with regret, and you started choking on your tears before they even really hit you.  This was so embarrassing! How could you even let yourself do this? You wanted to run away but suddenly you were aware at the lack of breath you had, probably from running everywhere and the thought that you had lost your children somewhere to some stranger.  Hiding your face in your hands the best you could, wishing that you could just disappear from this place, go back and try to not get stressed to the point where you forget what you’re even supposed to be doing today.  Your original daily plan didn’t include coming the the sports complex and breaking down in front a guy you let your thoughts drift off to in the evenings.

You heard to quiet scuff of shoes on the concrete coming in your direction, his smell drifting towards you, somehow calming you out of this state you were in, trying to hold back your tears then best you could, no matter how much you needed to get them out.

“Y/n,” he said softly, a hand gently touching your arm as if you calm you. “Are you okay?”

You groaned internally, lifting your face out of your hands enough that you could wipe away your tears with the edges of your sleeves as best as possible, hoping that no ugly mascara marks were anywhere on your cheeks, or smudged around your eyes now. But the jacket sleeves were wet, barely even making a difference at all. Sniffling a little then taking a deep breath, blinking back your next wave of tears, you prepared yourself to explain what just happened. You focused your eyes away from him, and out the closet door into the gym, studying the lines on the floors and the metal on the walls.

“I’m sorry.” You said with a groan, so embarrassed now you could feel your cheeks getting hot. “I just… I had to meet today with my lawyer and everything is just such a mess, I’ve been so stressed out I just completely forgot that he was picking them up.  I got so scared.  I should probably just go home.” You began to walk out the door but the hand that was rubbing your arm grabbed it and held you in place.

“Thats fine, but at least wait a couple minutes.  Let yourself calm down before you go back out. If its any consolation, I didn’t have that great of a day either.  That makes the two of us.” He squeezed your arm a little bit at the last sentence, a bright smile on his face. You laughed a little although you still had tears in your eyes.

“Really?” You noticed your mouth was moving slowly, and that your cheeks were practically frozen.  When did it get so cold in here? “What happened?” You sniffled again, your teeth beginning to chatter slightly, and Jin noticed.  

“I’ll tell you, but we need to do something about your clothes first.  Look, I just wore these for practice, I have my clothes from today in the changing room.  How about I change out of these and back into my regular clothes, and you can put these on so you don’t have to wear those anymore. Sound good?”

You managed to nod through the shivering, and you followed him out of the gym and back into the lobby area, toward the changing rooms. Standing outside the door waiting while he changed, you used this time to take a couple deep breaths and try to clear your mind.  How bad could this be? You spend some of your time just thinking about Jin as a distraction, so why can’t you just shake these bad feelings away? Why can’t you just calm down and be yourself in his presence without all this emotional bullshit following you and pulling you down?

“Here, they might be a little big.  I also found a bag you can put your wet clothes into.” He handed his clothes to you and the bag, and you gave him a smile. You sighed as you entered the changing room, closing the door slowly behind you. You laid his clothes down on the bench and began stripping off your own clothes, which at this point were making a desperate attempt to stay onto your goosebump ridden body. The air hitting your skin as you removed the layers and tossed them in the bag wasn’t helping either.  Before you knew it, you were standing in your bra and underwear, staring at his hoodie and pants, contemplating what to do.  The rain had practically soaked you to the bone, the padding on your bra taking it upon itself to soak up as much water as possible, and your underwear were clinging to you desperately, although they were only wet near the top, it would still be annoying to wear them.

‘It’ll be no big deal,’ you thought, stripping your underwear off and sliding on his joggers, tossing the wet fabric into the bag with the rest of your clothes.  Next came your bra, going into the bag as well.  You’ll just wash his stuff before you give it back to him.  And when you go back out there, just hide well enough inside his hoodie that he can’t see the lack of support around your boobs.  You picked up the pink fabric, sliding it over top of your head, the hood falling right into place on your head as you covered the rest of your torso.  God, what kind of cologne is this? It’s almost hypnotizing. You were so used to the stuff your husband used to wear that the new scent was almost intoxicating, and the fact that you were covered in it now was absolutely amazing. You grabbed ahold of the neck and pulled it up to your nose, taking in a big whiff, letting it into your lungs and allow it to fill your body as much as possible.  You wanted to live in this scent.  Hell, you could even die in it.

Having no choice but to slide your still soaked shoes on, you returned back to the lobby so he wouldn’t think you were having some serious issues changing. The shoes were sloshy and miserable, but there wasn’t much you could do about them at this point.

“How’s that? All better?” He was sitting on a bench across from the door, next to one of those word indoor plants.

“Much better.” You said with a nod. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s the least I could do. Now, where were we?” You sat down on the bench next to him, dropping your bag of wet clothes on the floor next to you. “I was going to tell you about my day.  Firstly, this rain is the worst. I think thats what started it for me.  I had to do this presentation for a class today, and it was pretty important and I really wanted to do well, but then I was running late, and I walked to it in the rain… and then I got there… and the presentation for the most part was alright I believe.  But I was a few minutes late which looks bad for me, and also I was a little wet from the rain, so my appearance probably wasn’t very good either.  Not to mention I walked over here also.”

“I’m sure you did fine.  Try not to worry about it. Would you like me to give you a ride back to your place?”

“Sure, that would be great. Unless its out of your way or something.” He protested slightly.

“No, Im sure its fine.  Actually… I really want to get these clothes back to you. We could… or— no— never mind.” You shook your head in embarrassment.  Where did you expect to go with that? Of course you need to get his clothes back to him, especially with no suspicion from anyone around.

“No, no. Go on.” He encouraged, wanting to know what you were going to say in the first place.

“I’m sorry I think it was a little inappropriate. I really shouldn’t.” You shook your head again.

“It will be fine, Im sure. We’re both adults. I don’t have anything to do this evening, so if you have things you need to do you won’t be keeping me.”

“Oh. No, I’m not busy either. In fact, since my kids aren’t home I don’t have anything to do at all. I thought maybe… You could come over, that way I can change and get your clothes back to you without any hassle.  And if you’re hungry I would buy you some dinner since you’ve been so kind to me lately.” You said shyly, turning our gaze from him to the ground. Are you insane? Inviting him over? Your slight nighttime fantasies are really getting then best of you aren’t they? But here you are again, adding some sense to the madness.  It wouldn’t be bad to invite him over, its harmless.  It’s innocent.  You want to give him his clothes back, and do something nice for him to show how grateful you are for treating you and your sons so nicely.

“That sounds great.” He flashed you that heart-stopping smile he has, and you began to feel content for the first time today.  “Let me grab my things, and we can get going."

He disappeared into the changing rooms once again, reappearing with a backpack slung over his arm and an umbrella.  He motioned to the door with his hand and you led the way, stopping on the small concrete patch right outside the door under an awning, somewhat still safe from the rain.

“Here, you hold onto my umbrella and try to stay dry okay?”

You took the large black umbrella from him, holding it high enough that it would cover both of you, and he trailed closely behind as you both started to walk, and you hoped that you were able to cover him from this ridiculous rainfall.

Your pace was a little quick, and being the gentleman that Jin is, he wanted to keep a safe distance as to not step on the heels of your shoes, so he was stuck with his head almost safely under the cover of the umbrella but his body oddly and uncomfortably out in the rain. Which by the way, was still acting ruthless.  Today’s sky was determined to supply your city with enough rain water to support all of California for about 5 years. 

Jin climbed into the passenger seat as you closed the umbrella hurriedly and plopped your body into the driver’s seat with a huff. Looking over at him you winced at the damage caused, the shoulders of his sweater thoroughly soaked, spreading happily down the rest of his torso as if it knew no boundaries. 

“Good thing I’m getting your clothes back to you, right?” You started the car as he laughed at your statement, and you drove off into this crazy rain the best you could. With headlights blaring and wipers at full speed, you drove slower than you normally would, due to the weather and of course, the precious cargo beside you. 

Jin tried wiping at the back of his neck with his sweater sleeve, in attempt to remove the water droplets hanging out there, but with no such luck.  Cashmere. He though to himself, half tempted to roll his eyes, but remembered almost no sweater on the face of the earth can actually absorb water to any extent. 

Jin really wasn’t phased by the size of your house much less the size plus the fact that you were now all alone in it, save for your kids. He examined all the walls surrounding him, half tempted to tell you that your house was charming, but decided not to. You looked frazzled enough as it is, a type of fear on your face that only a person breaking the rules would have, if they happened to care just as much. 

It was something he didn’t quite understand, the part of you with so much fear.  But it wasn’t really his place, unless you wanted to tell him. But you noticed the way you were acting, the way you were looking around the room, hesitant to do anything at all. 

“I’m sorry, you must be so uncomfortable. Let’s get you a towel, okay? C’mon.” You waved your hand in the direction of your bedroom shaking off the ridiculous feeling, and he followed you until you reached the small closet in your bathroom where you kept all of your bath towels and some other miscellaneous items. 

Pulling on a towel that was basically stuffed into the shelf space in an uncomfortable way, you caused what could only be described as a towel avalanche.  The second the first towel started to fall off the shelf, Jin rushed to your side to grab as many as he could as you held your hands in front of your face to ward off being covered completely in terry cloth. 

You couldn’t help but to laugh, it was embarrassing but it was also really funny to you that both of you were being attacked by a shelf full of poorly organized towels. You were soon on your knees, picking up the towels and folding them the best you could, and Jin helped also. You were both laughing at this point because this was such a mess, this whole day was such as mess, but your cheeks were burning.  This could’ve been easily avoided, if you would’ve just took the time to actually roll the towels up and stack them like you normally did.

Biting at your lower lip, you folded a towel and placed it on the pile in front of you just as Jin was, your hands touching briefly before both pulling back in apology. You giggled at this small mishap too, and looked over to him as he waited for you to put your towel on the pile.  He was smiling slightly, that little smirk that was sweet, playful... and then it faded. And yours did too.  You didn’t know why, or how it happened, maybe it was just being so close to him for once. 

But his eyes left yours and glanced down at your lips, and you couldn’t help but to stare at his since the moment his smile deserted them. It was so quiet, all you could hear was your own ragged breath, your heart beating in your ears. 

He leaned in slowly, but with confidence, and your body followed his actions without even asking your brain first if it was all okay. It was the same type of rush you get when you’re about to head down a hill full speed on a rollercoaster, terrifying but exciting, your stomach floating in midair, consumed by angry, burning butterflies anticipating what was to come. 

It was soft, the touch of his full lips to yours, perfect placement, feeling his top lip in-between yours and his bottom lip catching the area where your own bottom lip ended. This feeling was something that you hadn’t had in a long time, that feeling when something is brand new, and you’re excited for what will happen and where it all will go, and its refreshing, and cool, and makes you happy to see another day, and just live in this moment. 

If only you could just live in this moment.

But you pulled away quickly, probably too soon, panicked and a little ashamed. Jin barely had a look of regret on his face, it was there, but just a dash. Mixed in with a few other things, like the simple joy he always radiated and maybe an ounce of affection. It was just a kiss of course, something you’ve always considered to be innocent, it could mean everything or just a little.  Either way it only held that importance to those who were doing it, whether they reciprocated the feeling or not.  A kiss is a kiss.  So why are you afraid? 

There was no silent apology floating in the air, somehow you both knew that it may have been a little out of boundaries, but still fine. You couldn’t be angry at him, its almost like he’s been reading your thoughts. And who knows when he realized himself how bad he wanted to kiss you, how much he thought you deserved the satisfaction and the warmth a kiss brought.

You swallowed thickly, somehow your mouth dry now as you folded towels in silence, almost done withe the unwanted task. Standing again, you looked down at the floor, scratching at the back of your head a little bit to act as if nothing had just happened between you, although you were feeling the aftermath of that simple kiss pretty strongly throughout your entire body.  It was like the strike of the match, catching the side of the box but not quite lighting, only just giving off a tiny spark. 

“If you’d like, since you’re here, I could wash your clothes for you so they don’t have to lay around soaked in rain water. It’s not really good for them.” You offered, wanting to move forward with your night as quickly as possible, far away from that amazing... kiss... You watched as his plump pink lips formed a smile once again, something so charming that never failed to make your heart jump a thousand feet in the air every time he sent it your way. 

“That would be really nice of you, if it isn’t too much trouble.  I think my sweater is the worst part, my pants are probably okay. They didn’t get that wet, and I’m not that worried about them honestly. They’ll survive either way.” 

He pulled at the neck of his sweater, lifting the soft fabric over his head as you watched with wide eyes, that match striking the box again, begging to just ignite. His tan broad shoulders where finally exposed, and he tilted his head to the side to study your expression as his slid the sleeves off his arms. The kiss can mean little, or it can mean everything. The kiss was the strike, you the match, him the box, waiting for you to catch on. 

When your teeth tugged at the soft skin of your lower lip he knew he had gotten you, but he also knew that you had gotten him too.  Sweater in hand, he reached out to hand it to you, and you walked forward as if to take it, but bypassed it completely, your hands tangling in the hair at the back of his head as you pulled him into a kiss, his full lips inviting, warm, and everything you had previously imagined them to be. 

It was crazy how much you wanted this, how much you had thought about it in your wine drenched mind, every movement soaked in a deep red liquid. But this was different, it was the bright light of your bathroom, his hands dropping the sweater and wrapping around your waist to lead you backwards into the warm, intimate lighting of your bedroom. His lips working against yours with expertise, wanting you to just give in, to steer you away from the ‘this is so bad’ mentality that you were currently living in. Because you knew it wasn’t, you were single, you husband had freely done this type of thing even when you were still married.  

If only you could just coax your entire being into just letting this whole thing happen... because his scent was beginning to take up every available thought in your mind, swallow them up and consume them so that all you could even think about was him and how he smelled, how he felt, how he looked, how his lips tasted. 

His skin was firm, warm, soft, running your hands over his bare chest as if you were feeling the finest velvet in a fabric store. You couldn’t even decide where you wanted your hands on him, there were so many places to touch, to explore that your hands could now maneuver when only your mind used to be able to. His chest, back up to his neck, into the still damp hair at the nape of his neck. You wanted to pull on it, to see what would happen if you did, but you refrained. 

This was messy.  Even if you felt like it was a mistake it was so good that you couldn’t even bring yourself to consider it. His tongue was to against your own, it was sloppy, it was deep, pushing far, caressing yours gently but harshly. Everything was done with a type of seriousness that made you feel like it was the realest thing you’ve ever had in your whole life.  It was just so raw, the gasps leaving your mouth as his teeth tugged at your lip, your neck, your jaw, everywhere he could even get his mouth was not safe from his lips or his tongue or his teeth grazing it. It was sickeningly sweet. Painful, but sweet.  Like he wanted to treat you roughly but only in the right way that was sugarcoated twice over.

You barely even wanted to try, in fact he physically made it clear a few times that he was the one running the show.  He let you tug on his hair, groan his name softly, touch him anywhere you could get your hands on, but tonight was not going to be run by you.  And it wasn’t something that even made you feel bad, he wasn’t being greedy, it was done with a type of gentleness that made it feel like he just wanted to take care of you, that he was doing all the work, but it was all for you.

And that was fine by you.  Because everything he was doing at this point was damn good.

All the gasps, the heaving breathing, everything between the two of you was causing an intense heat, whether it just be the excitement or just the fact that this was literally so hot, you needed to get out of his sweats, and fast. The flame was now burning deep red.

Whatever you needed, Jin felt it too.  He began a kiss that was insanely slow, and painfully deep, as his hands reaching underneath the hoodie you were wearing, lifting the bottom hem lazily, exposing your skin one swipe of his tongue at a time. He only pulled away long enough to release you completely from the thick cotton fabric, a whiff of his cologne embracing you once again, before fading away as quickly as it came. Being apart even for that split second felt like a million years too long. However, he took his time taking in the sight, tossing his hoodie onto your wooden floor, eyes scanning your chest, honest and satisfied.

His lips pulled into a smirk, a sultry play on what would be his usual smile. He moved to place his lips on yours again, a hand placed on the back on your head, tangled within a few strands of almost dried hair. You might’ve been angry at the slight pull it caused, your hair still having not completely dried, and being matted with rain water with little defense.  You kinda embraced the pain, though a wince may have appeared across your brow for a millisecond.  In turn you moaned into his mouth, and he took that as a sign to move even further.

He sat with his legs outstretched as far as they could be in his position, holding onto your thigh and waist as he pulled you across his legs, so you were then straddling his thighs. From this angle he was able to look at you through hooded eyes, through his eye lashes, and you down at him, holding each side of his perfect face with both of your hands.  His arms wrapped around you tightly, and held you close enough that your breasts were brushing the chiseled edges of his collarbones. 

He let out a small laugh in a single breath at the feeling, and all you could do was smile.  He leaned in only slightly, pressing his lips to yours gently, teasingly, then nipping at your lower lip with his own.  You had never had such amazing time with someone, and all you’ve even done was kiss.  Jin felt lucky, he loved this angle of any woman, but for someone reason it was perfect for you in particular, he felt. In a way, he was lifting you up, on some sort of metaphorical pedestal, holding you high and treating you to kisses across your skin, your neck down to your shoulder, your collarbones, the tops of your breasts. Sucking on the skin and soothing it with his tongue, you tilted your head back to enjoy the feeling, maybe a little too much.  But who’s to say what the right amount is? Especially if they weren’t here experiencing this moment themselves. 

His lips found their way back up your neck, his hands wandering ever so low, dipping underneath the band of his sweats you still had on. You knowing that in your pantiless state you probably have a wonderful wet spot inside because his lips were driving you insane, specifically when they reached that spot a little below your jaw, behind your ear.  When you gasped, he took it as another hint to keep going.  His fingers hooked on the band of the joggers, pulling them as far off your ass as possible with you sitting on his lap. 

He dug is fingers into your skin, grabbing handfuls of your ass then soothing them other gently with the tips of his fingers. Your own hands ran through his blonde locks, from the crown of his head to the nape of his neck,  tugging on the hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp as you breathed into his mouth, wanting to kiss him until you couldn’t breathe, but you resisted the feeling, curious of what he planned to do next.

When his fingers gripped onto you this time, you couldn’t help but to move in the same direction of his hands, your hips moving back slightly, causing a brief but delicious friction against the dress pants he had on.  You could barely even tell, either his willpower was amazing, or you just couldn’t feel anything through all the layers, but you were sure it was just thanks to the bunched up zipper you were able to feel that. 

Also, why does he still have his pants on anyways?

Deciding to take initiative-- just for a second-- you slid back on his legs far enough that you had comfortable access to his button and zipper, trying to calm your nerves for long enough to undo them, but it seemed impossible. Acknowledging your struggle without a word, Jin picked both your hands up and kissed them, placing them back onto your lap as he freed himself from underneath your body. 

He faced you as he stood up off the bed, taking his pants off with ease. He kicked them off his feet, then towards the area where he had managed to throw his hoodie earlier. As you took in the sight, he looked at your curiously, pondering what to do next.  Cocking his head to the side, he stuck his fingers underneath the band of his underwear, testing your reaction before proceeding to remove them. 

He wanted to take things slowly, so he stopped.  You both needed to be in an equal state. 

You looked at each other in a state of awe.  

You didn’t want to stare, but you couldn’t help it.  You had never wanted to wrap your lips around someone so fiercely in all your life. That being, you had only really been with your husband before, and you never much took a liking to sucking someone off at all.  But with this, you were so tempted, just to try it. Its possible that you were becoming a little too mesmerized by it because Jin leaned into you, a finger under your chin to pull your lips up to his. 

“Maybe next time.” He said against them, his voice deep as the Pacific and sweeter than fucking honey. 

You both kept your lips at the same distance, but he kept moving forward, forcing you to lay back onto your satin sheets.  They were cool and welcoming against your hot skin, but Jin’s hands made their way onto your body, causing another wave of goosebumps. 

His hands worked smoothly on the skin of your stomach, each touch being followed by a kiss downwards until he reached the area where your leg and torso meet.  At that point he slowed, looking up at you with curious eyes.  

He kissed down your thigh until he was at equal level  in between your legs, exactly where he wanted to be.  Jin really was one for foreplay, he felt like it was necessary to have a really good time. And he was always one for oral because it was really pleasing for either person. 

Just one soft lick up your entire core had your toes curling because God, its been so long since anyone has done that at all. And Jin knew it was really about finding the perfect rhythm for each girl, and thats what he was about to do. 

His breath was hot against your skin, another good reason for goosebumps to raise on your skin again.  He turned his head to kiss at your thighs and you giggled, his hair tickling across the skin of the opposite one.  You could feel his lips curl into a smile at hearing your laughter, and then he was back at your core again, lips brushing gently at your clit making you want to squeeze your thighs tightly shut in anticipation. 

What he did next was cruel, wrapping his full lips around your clit to suck so softly... and then to tease at your entrance with his tongue so gently before licking slowly back up to your clit again. It was exactly what you needed and you didn’t even know. 

And he had you so entranced, so immersed in the feeling that it all seemed like an actual dream.  Like maybe you really were just dreaming because this unbelievably good, and so quickly.  Maybe it was due to the fact that you had only really been with one person and so used to just one style... A style that was outdated and boring and unable to change or fit what you may really need. 

But there was not faking in this, there was no pretending to be close because you seriously were. Each hot breath, each soft kiss in between his tongue ??? and there was nothing else in this room beside you and him. There was nothing else in this world besides you and him.

Before you even knew it was almost there, and you realized your hands were tangled in his blond locks, tugging on the strands to bring him closer as if to intensify the feeling.  He got the picture, and he wasn’t going to keep you waiting.  But his lips left, and what was replaced by them was just a tip of his finger and you let out a small noise of disapproval. He rubbed in a circle a few times before sliding it down, now rubbing around your entrance before slipping slowly inside.

Then they were back, his lips back on your clit, sucking it into his mouth, his tongue working quickly at it as his finger was moving slowly in and out of you. It was so amazing, digging your toes into your mattress letting the whole feeling consume you.  It really almost felt like too much, until it curled his finger upwards, and everything came spilling out at once. 

Now the world only consisted of you and him and the sound of your heaving breathing and moans, and everything really truly felt like heaven. He let his tongue move slowly as you rode the high out until you absolutely couldn’t stand it anymore, then he pulled away, kissing at your thighs until he was at your knees. 

You thought that maybe you might be dead, because your body felt weighted down so harshly and kinda tired, but you were alive somehow.  You just guessed thats what a real orgasm could do to you. The weight on the bed shifted as Jin climbed over you, looking down at your face curiously. 

“Mmm, you okay?” It felt like it took all the strength in your body to laugh at his words, you probably looked like an absolute mess.  “You wanna scoot back, lay on some pillows?”

You nodded and crawled backwards, falling heavily back onto your pile of pillows at the head of your bed.  God you felt exhausted already, but looking down at Jin crawling towards you on the mattress, dick bobbing with each movement, you suddenly felt so energized.  It looked like it hurt, like it was little throbbing, you had no idea how he could go so long without anyone touching him at all. 

The smile on his face was alluring, drawing you in.  You leaned forward to pull him into you, crashing your lips against his, tasting yourself all over his mouth.  He seemed to be just as impatient, spreading you legs apart with one hand as he propped the other against the headboard behind you to steady himself. 

You were still kissing him passionately, tongues clashing, trying not to hit your teeth on his, but you couldn’t get close enough to him it felt like.  The hand that was on your thigh was now rubbing over his dick, scooting himself closer to you so that he could rub the tip over the wet mess that he had created between your legs. 

You  smiled with a moan into his mouth and he took it as sign to keep going, that this was what you liked, what you wanted.  So he eased into you little by little, both of you sighing sweetly at the feeling.  Your mouths wanted to stay right where they were, at least for now. 

His thrusts were slow, really making you feel everything he was doing, 

It wasn’t quick, and it wasn’t uncomfortable.  It was nothing like you ever really experienced before. You were used to it being a little quick, a little distant; not this close, not this personal, and not this sensual.  It really felt like you were in a movie, the type where the camera lens should be fogging up, hot and heavy breathing everywhere only interrupted by a sweet moan on either end. 

And it wasn’t desperate, although you were afraid you may be too grabby and too needy, wanting the full pleasure as quickly as possible, wanting to hold him tight and not let him escape.  It really felt like you had all the time in the world, that you could seriously do this all night long and you considered that a real possibility but he really knew what he was doing. 

You really could’ve settled for him eating you out, of course you could’ve because it was fulfilling, draining almost, in the most perfect way. It was the exact type of release you needed through every sexual encounter you have ever had. That one thing you didn’t even know really existed. 

You really couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be on the other end of this, to be the one on top of him, what his face would look like then, what he would sound like.  Because right now he was the most beautiful yet, eyebrows furrowed in focus, raising slightly when something felt particularly good. 

At least you had time to enjoy all this.  He was building you up perfectly, moving in every right direction and pushing you closer and closer until it was almost unbearable.  Having things fast was fine, and it was really fun sometimes but it never really took you anywhere unless it was able to last for any amount of time, and lets face it, thats not a reality.

He knew well, that after having his mouth in-between your legs you’d still in some way be worked up and sensitive to anything at all. It worked out well for him in the past with various girls, and he always knew that it was a sure start to making them come this way too. And you really were no different. 

God he had you so agonizingly close... He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours, both  of you breathing so heavily into it you felt like you might suffocate, and you didn’t mind dying this way.  But being this close gave him the right kind of leverage to thrust into that one place he sought out with his finger before. 

His lips moved to your neck, that one place right below your ear and you could even hear in his breathing that he was struggling to hold on himself. He wouldn’t let it show, but the feeling was driving him insane.  He was used to doing all of this.  Not as often anymore, but he knew how good he was. And he knew how to change it up, and some girls were really, really good. 

But you really had him right in this place he wasn’t used to being in.  And it was unrealistic, and so wild, and you knew it.  No one ever came loose at the same time, no one ever really got there on the same level unless they were absolutely used to faking it (which you used to do). But none of this was real to you, how could it be? It was too amazing.

It all happened just like that.  That one spot, and your eyes widened as far as they could, and his screwed shut, his face still in the crook of your neck, feeling your clench around him in what felt like waves as you came undone beneath him.  He tried moving as steadily as possible, letting you both finish so solidly and thoroughly but it was hard.  And strange. It just wasn’t something that happens. 

Both of you were completely spent, unsure of what even to do now except lay there together trying to catch your breaths. It wasn’t really Jin’s style, he liked to finish it all strongly, a few more kisses like he really meant it all, then work on cleaning it all up so that they could have a good nights rest after the evenings activities. 

He forced himself to kiss your neck, now salty with sweat, and you laughed at the soft but ticklish sensation.  His lips kissed their way across your jaw until they reached your lips, kissing you so deeply that you thought you might pass out. When he broke away he smiled at you, that same heart stopping smile that got you here in the first place. 

You both made an uncomfortable groan as he pulled out of you, that empty usual feeling returning, and he disappeared into your bathroom to get a towel to clean both of you up. 

He dipped back down in between your legs, wiping at the mess with a damp towel which was so oddly sweet, you had never had anyone take care of you like this before.  Your heart ached a little. When he was sure you were clean, he tossed the towel onto the floor, and you reached for him to pull him beside you, crawling underneath the covers and taking him with you. 

You sheepishly covered your face with the comforter, really feeling so happy in this moment that you wanted to hide your smile, the look in your eyes.  He hummed at the sight, knowing what it meant.  He felt something strange too, looking at you before, looking at you now.  You had no idea what to do now... usually you would shake the whole evening off as if nothing out of the ordinary happened but this was not one of those times. 

As tired as you both were, you had the whole night to get to know each other more. That exactly what you were going to use it for. 

You felt at home.  For the first time in a long time.  It was strange to you because you didn’t really know Jin that well, just a few things, but he made a point to be in your life, whatever his real reasoning was.  And he was interested in you, obviously.  So for things to really be panning out this way, you just wanted to smile and scream and jump around like a giddy teenager when the boy she likes finally likes her back. 

It was a good feeling.  To have someone so close, so nice.  Someone that you could be with so passionately, then talk to so comfortably for as long as you wanted about absolutely anything.  It almost seemed too good to be true. 

Jin watched you as your breathing slowed, steadied itself as you began to drift off.  He wasn’t that interested in sleeping at the moment. Usually he would go right to bed afterwards, but things here weren’t like things with college girls. Even if what you needed was a fling, to have some fun, (and he considered that greatly because it would be the best case scenario, just a rebound) but he liked you.  And he cared.  It was different because you were older, you had been married already, you had kids.  You weren’t exactly someone who could be flung. 

You were someone who needed care, and solidarity, and actual love.  You were deserving of romance, and kindness, and most importantly just someone who wanted to treat you well and would follow through.  This type of thought is what Jin was stuck on, because he wasn’t really set on anything until tonight.

And he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew that he could treat women well, in many ways. And he’s never really had a bad experience in that area, because he is just that right amount of charming to save him from anything. Tonight though, was phenomenal, if that word would even cover it.  He had never felt so close to anyone in his life, and he was wholesome, and refreshing. Just that feeling you want all the time. 

Now that he’s found it, what is he supposed to do?