#ive fucking missed the sun
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First proper blue sky of the year!!!!!! Oh how i have missed the sun. Immediate mood improvement stepping out into a world which isnt grey and barely lit
#I shall have to rejoice while i can#no doubt the perpetual grey will return tormrrow#For some reason i am talking like a regency vicar of a small parish who has read too many poems#ive fucking missed the sun#finally someone has remembered to fill the sky in#soup speaks the bullshit
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!! super self-indulgent because im experiencing Gender today so feel free to ignore <33
mmm but androgynous afab reader x johnny and he gives you his sweaters because he knows you love the way they fit you.
the way they’re loose enough that your tits aren’t obvious through the fabric and the way that the little garter hem actually fucking sticks to your hips instead of falling flat and making the sweater look like a shirt dress.
the way you snag his old varsity shirts and actually manage to make them look appealing, something johnny wished he has the talent for because he’s always been just using them for nightwear but there you are, looking so good in his clothes.
“comfy?” he asks as he bends down to tie your shoelaces.
he hears you hum, shy, if anything, and johnny tilts his head up to smile up at you. to show you that there’s nothing to be shy about. nothing for you to get your mind on a tizzy.
“i’ve got more for you, gaol,” johnny says, patting your feet and pressing a kiss on your thigh before standing up at full height. you track his ascent, head tilting up as johnny’s height towers over you before shuffling into his arms, tucking yourself underneath his chin.
he laughs, the sound rumbling from his chest and reverberating to where you are pressed to him, as he loops his arms around you. “i’m starting to think y’r just dating me for my shirts.”
you tilt your head up to look at him, your chin digging into his chest, and gasp out, “oh no, you’ve found out!”
johnny bites his bottom lip to stifle his laughter as he watches the way you fake a pout, before pinching your eyebrows together and jutting your lips out. he couldn’t help but take the opportunity of your pouty lips and smacks a chaste kiss on them instead.
you sputter in surprise, face easing away from your pretend sadness before ducking down to muffle your laughter at his chest. you hear him humming in elation, proud of having broken your dramatics, and so you nip at his collarbone in retaliation.
johnny pretends to hiss in pain even though you both know your teeth did not dig any deeper, still, it makes you laugh even louder as he begins to curse it lilted scottish, your name thrown into the mix.
#suns.hc#johnny soap mctavish x reader#johnny mctavish x reader#soap x reader#soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#suns#ignore the following tags!!#i miss him hahaha oh my god ive always thought about how s/o-material johnny is in a way thats#diff from ghost and price and its bc i think johnnys the one i can have an actual emotional connection right away#and fuck yea i just. i miss him
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I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.
#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable#like#Theres a flatness#the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs#with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto#Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about#than the fact her favorite color is red#Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children#Reynerd? sure is a guy#got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guy™. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery#he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people#and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed#all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk#Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they#pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked#and olive is here#anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that#idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games#purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Most™ but having#a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete#idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates#before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ™ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh#Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good#but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just#i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually
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i forgot grunt meant like henchman or whatever for a second i thought they were like yeah leonas bitch ass grunts and growls are partial proof to savanaclaw being an athletic leaning dorm lol
#well they also say that in the game not just the manga jkdlfhsdkl like in azuls union bday card#ace was like oh yeah ok you dont wanna be in savanaclaw cause theyre more athletic oriented right#and azul was like NO IM TALKING ABOUT THE SUN SHUT UP!!! jsdklfhsdklfj#anyway i was on the wiki cuz i was trying to remember what their dorm's trait thing is like according to the mirror but i DONT SEE IT.#i rememeber i get it confused with pomesiores . like i think one of theirs is tenacity . but idr which one LOL#the other is maybe endurance...????#that doesnt sound right. i feel like it was broader than that#WAIT I LIED IT DOES SAY IT AT THE TOP i just. missed that part. it IS tenacity lol#what the fuck was pomefiore then....#oh ya theirs according to the wiki is UNRELENTING EFFORTS which i think i did see sometimes written as like endurance or fortitude or smthn#anyway. savanaclaw and pomefiore's ~core value~ always felt similar to me. but also maybe i just dont know what words mean <3#not in a 'theyre too similar' way like i do think theyre different. i just think it's INCH RESTING when things r like#theyre similar. theres overlap. but theres enough distinction to put them apart#actually them being similar in some regards does feel reinforced by the rook hunt situation like he went from one to the other#and seems to be thriving regardless.... we're onto something here...#hmm what were the others.. i think heartslabyul was strictness...#ok the wiki says severity i think ive seen either eng or a translation that called it strictness lol but severity i feel like is maybe#better word choice.. just a lil... nuances nuances whatever anyway idr the others. actually wait no i know octavinelles is like#benevolence bc azul keeps mentioning it- the wiki says compassion. lol. idk if i just keep remembering close enough or like#remembering fan vs official tls. i think the wiki is doing its own direct tl and not engtwst but moving ON#scarabia is deliberation... ignihyde is diligence... diasomnia is elegance???#why is diasomnia the only one that didnt sound familiar At All LOL i dont REMEMBER THAT ONE#i remembered vaguely what scarabia was bc they make a point of mentioning it in like end of 4 or start of 5?#when they were like yeah we value foresight or w/e in scarabia so jamil hasnt been ousted right away. i like scarabia their#way of showing the different ways deliberation works with like jamil vs how it does in kaliim vs the npcs#like theyre all different ppl but still fit that criteria in their own unique ways.... hell yeah...#anyway yay i got ONE right on the nose [as the wiki has it listed anyway lol] thanks savanaclaw
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i got 99% on an exam i was dreading and i was sooo brave and i only threw up a little bit :) unfortunately i had to take 2 tabs of adderall at 4pm and subsequently i will not be escaping my dogshit sleep schedule tonight :( but i got 99% :)
#the one i missed was bullshit. normally all questions are formatted with the generic names so thats the direction i studied#this exam was backwards#if you asked me what classification irbesartan was i obviously wouldve known it was an angiotensin ii receptor blocker. duh.#but avapro? how do you get avapro from irbesartan?#it was multiple choice so i just went. 'okay. all i gotta do is recall all the generics for these 4 classifications and#from there i can hopefully remember all of the brands for each of them!'#reader. i did not do that.#avapro is not adalat. adalat is fucking nifedipine. unfortunately 'anti-hypertensive calcium channel blocker' was an option#ugh.#so close to 100%#whatever. the point is i dont have to retake it tomorrow. which is nice because tomorrow is for studying for#my institutional pharmacy final. which i CANNOT fail because then i would have to retake it on THE SAME DAY as my math final#i cant study on thursday (the day of my institutional final) because if all goes well im starting my externship that day#and finishing my shift one hour before class#so. again. i am VERY glad i passed this test#god ive got so. much. homework. to catch up with. and studying. fuck.#wont have much time to study for my math final because i took fri-sun shifts too and the math final is on monday#but thats fine because i am good at math. hashtag girl#no one will read all these tags but im journaling
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Forever Changed
Artfight of Aarya for @artbytesslyn!
#facing the sun#fts#artbytesslyn#artists on tumblr#artfight2023#Aarya Rhynes#i give miss aarya a kiss on her sad little cheek mwah#everybody go read Facing the Sun it's one of the best sapphic comics ive ever read no joke fucking go read it this is a threat
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Trashing that in your askbox or something *disappears in the wild*
(I know you've already seen it but idk funny)
Fun fact if you call Arsenic (normal version) babygirl he will fucking kill you
#i dont think ive posted the rant about that anywhere. mh. maybe i should#i don't post all my arsenic-related rants because they're‚ uh‚ often either spoilers or very sensitive content#as much as i love talking about him. i prefer talking about him to people who i know 1) want to see it and 2) can handle it#...which means that you guys are missing out on the little Sun characterization there is. because my boy is fucked up#anyway. this is hilarious. top 10 pictures taken seconds before a disaster#ask#tosteur-gluteal#fanart#arsenic#nicholas#this is historically accurate language. and also accurate to. the country they're in. for sure#... hey tosteur. nicholas but with the little necklace poison vial that dalhi.a hawthor.ne from hit videogame 'asexual lawer' has#imagine.#omori
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gamers. i miss the sun :(
#i miss being able to go outside and not immediately get sick#been in a weird headspace lately and i can kinda feel myself using things as escapism but thats not a good idea#but also. what can ya do?#its cold. its dark at like 3pm. im sick all the time. i cant do anything except sit at home bc its safe#but also ive been soooo in my head lately even tho i cant do anything!!#the sun will come out again and i'll feel better soon but ohhhhh my god i am going through it#last year i had something to project my sad energy into (writing) and im trying to do the same this year but hm#idk#weird brain time#delete later t!!!#not to mention the horrible comparison my brain keeps doing lately. like dude. shut the fuck up?#im so *screaming*#im gonna stop venting in the tags now lol and go to sleep im tired
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he only made it to his third birthday and for that reason im always surprised i feel like this bc he was here for such a short time and its been 4 years (jesus dude) and it feels bad to say it in comparison to every other animal ive had but man. meep being gone does still hurt more than a lot of my other pets.
#like i think only kev and his kids and my airedale compare to how attached i was to him as dead pets go#beloved dove husband you did not get enough time on this earth#none of them did but three years old to the week is just particularly tragic compared to everyone else#like. kev hurt. still hurts a lot. but dude was an 18 year old finch. he had his time in the sun and then some for a finch#i spent literally half my life thinking he was going die any year bc he was a bird w/ an average life expectancy of 5-8 yrs and he got 18#but 3 even for a dove seemed so mean. even my airedale got 9. still young but not YOUNG young yknow#also four fuckin years. ive been missing that little bobblehead for longer than he was alive what the fuck man#anyway. crazy how close a bond you can make in such short a time#this why i don't do rats lmao
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Sometimes I am somewhat thankful to have my vampiric powers locked from me because misophonia plus vampire hearing would literally kill me id kill myself
#and also without the curses aswell so i can stand in the sun#its . it feels weird ?#its hurts when its to long gives me a headache but even tho its been 19 years of it it feels like something ive missed for . well#im not sure how long but Awhile#and also i cant taste + eat like ice cream and shit so win !!!#BUT ALSO I MISS BEING ABLE TO TURN INTO A FUCKING COUGAR ID TAKE THEM BACK IN A HEARTBEAT#they HATE ME#yapper#Vampirekin#irl vampire
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thinking about. mario galaxy and
crying
thats all
#super mario galaxy#mario#rosalina#look the idea of saying goodbye to everything you ever loved because You need to and still going on anyway because.#You need to#got to me okay.#gonna go play luma on spotify and have a meltdown cuz ive been a real shit#and life in its infinite wisdom has been a real shit in return#im trying so so hard but i keep fucking up#and im worried im going to be the thing people have to say goodbye to soon#i dont want to be the baby luma#i dont want to throw myself into the sun#but if its to save a galaxy i will#if it hurts less i might#i miss my mom
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reading the sun and the star as we speak and i know its been literal years since i last read a riordan-verse book with nico in it and also these books are written for young teens AND its not written by rick but. is it reading a bit. fanfiction-y??? to anyone else????
#the sun and the star#tsats spoilers#the sun and the star spoilers#percy jackson#nico di angelo#riordan universe#im SORRY its been just one long line of 'he would not fucking say that's to me#the dialogue too it just felt like. stilted???? overly quippy and ooc???#like#DID THEY GET PHONES WHILE I WASNT READING DID I MISS SOMETHING#HOW ARE YOU FUCKS MAKING POP CULTURE REFERENCES NONE OF YOU HAVE PHONES#im not trying to be a hater i promise but like#has it really been that long since ive read these or
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ok tumblr really *has* broken my speaking mannerisms, at work I found two cup lids that had melted together inseparably and muttered "this, too, is yuri" as if that's a normal thing to say on a sunday morning
#life update i am tired and so is everyone else#my sister went to the ER last night for chest pain (she's ok it seems though still not great)#work's had the busiest week of sales ive seen thanks to march madness but we're short staffed#two of my coworkers were arrested this week and one went home after a mental breakdown#and tomorrow after the sun goes out for a bit we're gonna service everyone wanting food for the mm finale#might end up working overtime for a third day though i feel like it'll cancel out w the hours i missed this morning#when i was too nauseous to work due to all the painkillers i took last on an empty stomach last week#but honestly im doing ok i just want a fucking break and so does everyone else i know it seems#feels weird venting here but i guess it's better than silence#and at least i have weird events to explain my inactivity instead of 'idk brain bad :/' like before
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I missed YOU
Just when I appeared you disappeared!
accidentally deleted tumblr from my phone, and i have no space left to get it back so...using it online now. Makes it harder to be on everyday.
#Biggest onkine break ive ever took and i hate myself by saying i miss tumblr so fucking much#NO ONE GETS MY HUMOR#Edgyanswers#I say this sun is giving me psych damage and i just get weird looks#Jukebox.chatter#My amazing funny mutuals
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I miss & need them both so badly...
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#ive cried way too much today over them#i dont why im like this rn but just the thought of them makes tears start streaming down my face#just typing this out is making tears well up in my eyes#ive been missing them all day#i was thinking abt ryan all morning and was thinking abt min sm rn#missing him... i wanted to watch an ep to see and hear min#and when ryan walked on screen i IMMEDIATELY started sobbing#IVE NEVER HAD A REACTION THAT FUCKING STRONG TO SEEING THEM#NOT EVEN REALLY PROMPTED BY ANYTHING#i just... miss them both so so much#i need them... i need them both so so badly#i want to walk along and look over the streets of powell lake holding hands w my husbands#we can stop by the corner store and by some some snacks and slurpees and make our way down to the lake#just to chat and hang out looking over the water as the sun sets#the thought of our home town makes me feel so... at ease#i want to listen to the radio in our kitchen while we all try to make a quick dinner#and min keeps scolding me & ryan for sneaking snacks in between#eat our dinner in front of the tv watching reruns or if nothing good is on we could pop in a movie we rented#go to bed holding onto each other and get ready the next morning for a day full of fun and adventure#min making us eggs and bacon and eating while working on some lyrics#a jam sesh before heading out to browse at the mall and have icecream :-]#browsing records and then going to the movies#rollerskating and/or karaoke to end the night <33#but i just love sm just walking out w them late at night#the streets are quiet and the sky is filled w stars#i love it feeling like the 3 of us are the only people in the world
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im gonna say something (admit) and no one can Say a Fucking Word Alright.
#the fact that my room was alreasy hard ti skeep in . bc trauma n relationships or wtv i called it#and like ive struggled to keep anything fucking clean im gonna be socreal. its so fucking difficult.#but idk i . theres a small part of me that diesnt wanna clean it bc even tho . ive Wiped the areas#down and like sprayed thw carpet#theres fucking . traces of my cat still all over thst room (inckuding unfortunately piss)#and i sont . idk i know its gross but a part if me is hesitant to ckean my room bx like .#idk . she cant steo in there ans markcher territory or make it Her Soace anymore.#like shes been dead for months and im still finding cat furr everywhere bc i just dint wanna ckean anyrhing i know#shes been#apart fromclike . xlothes and stuff .#for the record i dont actually step foot in my roon n my dokr stays Closed. so i dont axrually .#yea im not vathing in my cats fucking piss or anything. she pissed in there and i hakf assed cleaned it.#i also thibk she pissed in a box and im furious abt that STILL . vitch lwmme play soccer w ur ghost#anyway. i miss her a kot and i thibk im edging sone of thst grief still.#or i acceoted it . idm i nust. it feels Weird . her death still feels weird n how ive jandled ir feels weird#coupled w feelinf her spirit (i think she leaned against my leg one night bc i felt smth heavy n warm#prssed against my calf n i got this vibrsnt image of this white n grey cat rubbinf against a persons leg#it was cartoonish bc my team cannot Not be fucking Funny. but i fwlt like it was her :(#hhhhhh. this year has been so hard . n ik this doesnt Antirely Change Shit#but theres a new moon 30th dec n then some other planetary xhanges thatll make it soon feelclike a new ywar#i genuinely cosnider the switch to sries season the new ywar n then again Birth days bc .#yea i rhink the sun n moon SHOULS be our calendar years but i digress .#hmmm aircon n lights keep doing this weird thibg#HEY id rlly like to know why tberes suddebky so much fuckery w elextricity incmy city#like . Dawg why is there socmany power outages. or better yet: why am j Present fkr so many of tgem / why do i Know ppl#going through them.
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